Class code: 223_71ENG610063_03

Student’s name:NGUYỄN BÙI THANH NHƯ

Peer editor’s name:NGUYỄN NGỌC YẾN
Date:

WRITING ASSIGNMENT – LESSON 11

Unit: 8
Topic:

Some people think that parents have a great influence on their children. Others believe that
the media is a bigger influence.

 1st draft

In the modern era, children are acquiring knowledge via broadcast media in addition to
their family. result, while some people assert that social media and TV programs have a
significant influence on kids' opinions, others argue that parents can only influence how
best to shape a child's disposition. that families are the primary teachers of the most
important life lessons for children.

Since adolescents frequently like spending time in front of the TV or computer, it is thought
that the media plays a significant role in shaping their behavior. A child will therefore pick
up everything they watch on these networks. For instance, according to an empirical study
by Oxford University, 90% of school-age children in the UK pick up slang vocabulary from
YV shows even though their parents never use them at home. As a result, the media now
has an impact on how young people act and react in social situations.

Plausible Despite the fact that young children are often influenced by what they see in the
media, their personalities solely stem from the lessons they have received from their
families since birth. In other words, from a young age until adolescence, a child stays close
to his or her parents rather than watching TV or playing electronic games, allowing him or
her to learn the values and disciplines—to mention a few—that are most important to
leading a life smoothly and properly. Researchers from all around the world have
discovered that 95% of successful people spent quality time with their parents when they
were young and picked up valuable lessons on how to develop a successful career.

In conclusion, although TV media does have an impact on children, parents' influence is

more significant than all other aspects. As a result, I absolutely support the claim that
parents have the greatest impact over their children.

 Self-assessment (checklist)
Content Y/N Comments/ Suggestions
Task Response
Does the essay contain at least 250 words? N More 250 words
Is the topic addressed in the introduction?  y
Does the thesis statement discuss both questions
y
as required? 
Is each of the paragraphs related to the topic?  y
Does the conclusion summarize the both views
y
and give the author’s final opinion?
Coherence & Cohesion
Does the essay have an introduction, two body
y
paragraphs, and a conclusion? 
Is there a clear topic sentence in each paragraph? y
Does the author include any relevant examples
and/or other supporting details (explanation, y
reasons, etc.)? 
Are there at least 4 transitional expressions used
y
correctly (First, Moreover, However, etc.)?
Lexical Resource
Has the question been paraphrased properly? y
Does the author avoid repeating vocabulary? y
Have spelling and word-choice errors been
y
checked?
Does the author use academic vocabulary
y
sufficiently? 
Does the essay contain vocabulary specific to the
y
topic?y
Grammar Range and Accuracy
Does the author use a range of simple,
y
compound, and complex sentences? 
Have the verb tenses and subject-verb
y
agreement been checked?
Has punctuation been used correctly? y
Time management y
Was the task completed within 40 minutes? N

 Peer assessment (checklist)

Content Y/N Comments/ Suggestions
Task Response
Does the essay contain at least 250 words? N
Is the topic addressed in the introduction?  y
Does the thesis statement discuss both questions
y
as required? 
Is each of the paragraphs related to the topic?  y
Does the conclusion summarize the both views
y
and give the author’s final opinion?
Coherence & Cohesion
Does the essay have an introduction, two body
y
paragraphs, and a conclusion? 
Is there a clear topic sentence in each
y
paragraph?
Does the author include any relevant examples
and/or other supporting details (explanation, y
reasons, etc.)? 
Are there at least 4 transitional expressions used
y
correctly (First, Moreover, However, etc.)?y
Lexical Resource
Has the question been paraphrased properly? y
Does the author avoid repeating vocabulary? y
Have spelling and word-choice errors been
y
checked?
Does the author use academic vocabulary
y
sufficiently? 
Does the essay contain vocabulary specific to the
y
topic?
Grammar Range and Accuracy
Does the author use a range of simple,
y
compound, and complex sentences? 
Have the verb tenses and subject-verb
y
agreement been checked?
Has punctuation been used correctly? y
Time management y
Was the task completed within 40 minutes? N

 Final version

In the modern era, children are acquiring knowledge via broadcast media in addition to
their family. result, while some people assert that social media and TV programs have a
significant influence on kids' opinions, others argue that parents can only influence how
best to shape a child's disposition. that families are the primary teachers of the most
important life lessons for children.

Since adolescents frequently like spending time in front of the TV or computer, it is thought
that the media plays a significant role in shaping their behavior. A child will therefore pick
up everything they watch on these networks. For instance, according to an empirical study
by Oxford University, 90% of school-age children in the UK pick up slang vocabulary from
YV shows even though their parents never use them at home. As a result, the media now
has an impact on how young people act and react in social situations.

Plausible Despite the fact that young children are often influenced by what they see in the
media, their personalities solely stem from the lessons they have received from their
families since birth. In other words, from a young age until adolescence, a child stays close
to his or her parents rather than watching TV or playing electronic games, allowing him or
her to learn the values and disciplines—to mention a few—that are most important to
leading a life smoothly and properly. Researchers from all around the world have
discovered that 95% of successful people spent quality time with their parents when they
were young and picked up valuable lessons on how to develop a successful career.

In conclusion, although TV media does have an impact on children, parents' influence is

more significant than all other aspects. As a result, I absolutely support the claim that
parents have the greatest impact over their children.

 Rubric for grading

 Link Sharepoint/ Onedrive/ Google drive your collaboration space (optional)