Class code: 231_71ENG510053_36

Student’s name: NGUYEN THI THUY LINH

Peer editor’s name:
Date:04/10/2023

WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2 LESSON 7

Unit: 2
Topic:

3. Everyone should stay in school until 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

• 1st draft

Many people believe that everyone must stay in school until they are 18 years old. In my
opinion, I partially agree with this opinion for the following reasons.
There are many reasons why people think they have to stay in school until the age of 18, two
of which are to accumulate more knowledge and skills that help people reach higher levels in
life and going to school keeps young learners away from dangerous things until they are fully
aware of the outside world. First, most young people under the age of eighteen have very little
real-world experience and have very little idea of what career they will pursue. Staying at school
until the age of eighteen will allow them further opportunity to develop their education and time
to decide upon a suitable career path. Furthermore, educational environment is the safest one for
adolescents who are not mature enough to distinguish between the right and the wrong. Being
exposed to the real world at early age, juveniles may be lured by social temptations and involve
themselves in unlawful activities such as drug dealing, stealing and so on, which may ruin their
future.
On the other hand, there are also some benefits to the fact that students do not need to attend
school until they are 18 years old. First of all, not having to study in school until the age of 18
will help save time and tuition for people in difficult circumstances. Instead, we can become a
workforce for our families to support ourselves through experiences outside of school. In
addition, there are many professions that require more practical experience than in school, such
as singers, hair stylists or football players, etc. Therefore, studying at school is not necessary.
In short, I believe that although it is necessary to study in school until the age of 18, there
are many advantages to not going to school until the age of 18. It depends on each person's living
environment and personal orientation to decide which path is good for their own future.

• Self-assessment (checklist)
Content Y/N Comments/ Suggestions
Task Response
Does the essay contain at least 180 words? Y
Is the topic addressed in the introduction? Y
Does the author clearly state his or her opinion in the
Y
thesis statement?
Is each of the paragraphs related to the topic? Y
Does the conclusion summarize the main ideas/
restate the thesis statement, and give the author’s Y
final opinion?
Coherence & Cohesion

Does the essay have an introduction, two body

Y
paragraphs, and a conclusion?
Is there a clear topic sentence in each paragraph? Y
Does the writer include any relevant examples
and/or other supporting details (explanation, reasons, Y
etc.)?
Are there at least 4 transitional expressions used
Y
correctly (e.g.: First, Nevertheless, Moreover, etc.)?
Lexical Resource

Has the question been paraphrased properly? Y

Does the writer repeat the vocabulary? N
Are there any spelling errors? N
Does the essay contain vocabulary specific to the
Y
topic?
Grammar Range and Accuracy

Does the writer use a range of simple, compound,

Y
and complex sentences?
Have the verb tenses and subject-verb agreement
Y
been checked?
Has punctuation been used correctly? Y
Time management

Was the task completed within 40 minutes? Y

• Peer assessment (checklist)

Content Y/N Comments/ Suggestions

Task Response
Does the essay contain at least 180 words?
Is the topic addressed in the introduction?
Does the author clearly state his or her opinion in the
thesis statement?
Is each of the paragraphs related to the topic?
Does the conclusion summarize the main ideas/
restate the thesis statement, and give the author’s
final opinion?
Coherence & Cohesion

Does the essay have an introduction, two body

paragraphs, and a conclusion?
Is there a clear topic sentence in each paragraph?

Does the writer include any relevant examples

and/or other supporting details (explanation, reasons,
etc.)?
Are there at least 4 transitional expressions used
correctly (e.g.: First, Nevertheless, Moreover, etc.)?
Lexical Resource

Has the question been paraphrased properly?

Does the writer repeat the vocabulary?

Are there any spelling errors?
Does the essay contain vocabulary specific to the
topic?
Grammar Range and Accuracy

Does the writer use a range of simple, compound,

and complex sentences?
Have the verb tenses and subject-verb agreement
been checked?
Has punctuation been used correctly?

Time management

Was the task completed within 40 minutes?

• Final version