There is a school of thought that believes it is difficult to focus or be interested in school.

I
believe that the primary reason is that social media and educational institutions should try to
make classes more interactive in order to attract the young generation.
Have you ever considered that one of the most significant disadvantages of social media among
young people is a loss of motivation to study? Obviously, TikTok and Instagram have a large
following among young people, who spend hours watching videos of celebrities and famous
people, and it appears that they have forgotten to build their own lives and have become
passive observers of others.
Indeed, the learning process appears to be quite tedious when compared to watching colorful
videos that require no effort. For example, after signing up for Tiktok, my nephew was unable
to focus on his studies without scrolling through his feed every half hour, which affected his
school grades.
I believe that schools should begin using social media and change their teaching format.
Certainly, Instagram reels or TikTok videos could be used to post teaching materials in order to
pique children's interest and encourage them to revise their knowledge during their leisure
time. Children's interests have shifted, and colleges must adapt in order to engage students in
the learning process. To illustrate, dermatologists from the United States have already used
these platforms successfully to raise awareness of skin diseases and educate people on
appropriate actions and solutions, and I have completely changed my skincare routine based on
the information they have provided.
To summarize, social media has caused a mindset shift among its users, and teachers must
"keep their finger on the pulse" in order to stay current and appealing to students.

Content  Y/N  Comments/ Suggestions 

Task Response 
Is the essay at least 250 words?   Y  
Is the topic clearly identified in the introduction?   Y  
Does the thesis statement clearly discuss what the
Y   
essay is about? 
Does the conclusion rephrase the thesis statement,
summarize the main points, or offer writer’s final Y   
opinions?
Is each paragraph related to the topic?  Y   
Coherence & Cohesion 
Are there one introduction, two body paragraphs
Y   
and one conclusion in the essay? 
Is there a clear topic sentence in each paragraph?   Y  
Are relevant examples and/or other supporting
 Y  
details (explanation, reasons, …) included? 
Are the sentences well linked together using
 Y  
appropriate cohesive devices? 
Lexical Resource 
Has the question been suitably paraphrased?  Y   
Has consistent repetition of vocabulary been
 Y  
avoided? 
Have  spelling and word-choice errors been
Y   
checked? 
Is there sufficient use  of academic vocabulary?  Y   
Does the essay contain vocabulary specific to the
Y   
topic? 
Grammar Range and Accuracy 
Has a range of simple, compound, and complex
 Y  
sentences been used? 
Have the verb tenses and subject-verb agreement
 Y  
been checked? 
Are most sentences error-free?   Y  
Has correct punctuation been used?   Y