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 1. All of them everywhere…(Ø, a/an, the)
2. One of many……………..(Ø, a/an)
3. This one exactly…………(Ø, the)

(Ø = no article)
Articles
Rule # 3: The choice of article depends upon the noun and the context. This will be explained
more fully below.

Because the article system is so complex and often idiosyncratic, it is especially difficult for
non-native English speakers to master. This handout explains three basic rules that are the
foundation of the article system and two basic questions that will help you choose the correct
article in your writing. It provides examples of articles being used in context, and it ends with a
section on special considerations for nouns in academic writing.
Using this handout
As you use the handout, try to keep three things in mind:
Basic questions
To choose the best article, ask yourself these questions:
1. “What do I mean? Do I mean all of them everywhere, one of many, or this one exactly?”
2. “What kind of noun is it? Is it countable or not? Is it singular or plural? Does it have any
special rules?”
Your answers to these questions will usually determine the correct article choice, and the
following sections will show you how.

First, this handout will be most effective if you use it as a tool. Every time you read this When you mean “all of them everywhere”

handout, read it along side another piece of writing (a journal article, a magazine, a web
page, a novel, a text book, etc.). Locate a few nouns in the reading, and use the handout Talking about “all of them everywhere” is also called “generic reference.” We use it to make
to analyze the article usage. If you practice a little bit at a time, this kind of analysis can generalizations: to say something true of all the nouns in a particular group, like an entire
help you develop a natural sensitivity to this complex system. species of animal.
Second, using articles correctly is a skill that develops over time through lots of reading,
writing, speaking and listening. Think about the rules in this handout, but also try to pay When you mean “all of them everywhere,” you have three article choices: Ø, a/an, the. The
attention to how articles are being used in the language around you. Simply paying choice of article depends on the noun. Ask yourself, “What kind of noun is it?”
attention can also help you develop a natural sensitivity to this complex system.
1. Non-count nouns = no article (Ø)
Finally, although using the wrong article may distract a reader’s attention, it usually does
a. Temperature is measured in degrees.
not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. So be patient with yourself as
b. Money makes the world go around.
you learn.
2. Plural nouns = no article (Ø)
a. Volcanoes are formed by pressure under the earth’s surface.
Basic rules
b. Quagga zebras were hunted to extinction.
3. Singular nouns = the
This is a simple list, but understanding it and remembering it is crucial to using articles a. The computer is a marvelous invention.
correctly. b. The elephant lives in family groups.

Rule # 1: Every time a noun is mentioned, the writer is referring to: Note

1. All of them everywhere, : We use this form (the + singular) most often in technical and scientific writing to
2. One of many, or generalize about classes of animals, body organs, plants, musical instruments, and
3. This one exactly complex inventions. We do not use this form for simple inanimate objects, like books or
coat racks. For these objects, use (Ø + plural).
Rule # 2: Every kind of reference has a choice of articles:
1. Singular nouns = a/an (when a single example represents the entire group)

 
 a. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.
b. A doctor is a highly educated person. Generally speaking, a doctor also has
tremendous earning potential.
How do you know it’s generic? The “all…everywhere” test
Here’s a simple test you can use to identify generic references while you’re reading. To use this
test, substitute “all [plural noun] everywhere” for the noun phrase. If the statement is still true,
it’s probably a generic reference.
Example:
A whale protects its young—”All whales everywhere” protect their young. (true—generic
reference)
A whale is grounded on the beach—”All whales everywhere” are grounded on the beach.
(not true, so this is not a generic reference; this “a” refers to “one of many”)
You’ll probably find generic references most often in the introduction and conclusion sections
and at the beginning of a paragraph that introduces a new topic.
When you mean “one of many”
Talking about “one of many” is also called “indefinite reference.” We use it when the noun’s
exact identity is unknown to one of the participants: the reader, the writer, or both. Sometimes
it’s not possible for the reader or the writer to identify the noun exactly; sometimes it’s not
important. In either case, the noun is just “one of many.” It’s “indefinite.”
When you mean “one of many,” you have two article choices: Ø, a/an. The choice of article
depends on the noun. Ask yourself, “What kind of noun is it?”
1. Non-count nouns = no article (Ø)
a. Our science class mixed boric acid with water today.
b. We serve bread and water on weekends.
2. Plural nouns = no article (Ø)
a. We’re happy when people bring cookies!
b. We need volunteers to help with community events.
3. Singular nouns = a/an
a. Bring an umbrella if it looks like rain.
b. You’ll need a visa to stay for more than ninety days.
Note: We use many different expressions for an indefinite quantity of plural or non-count
nouns. Words like “some,” “several,” and “many” use no article (e.g., We need some volunteers
to help this afternoon. We really need several people at 3:00.) One exception: “a few” + plural
noun (We need a few people at 3:00.)
 
In certain situations, we always use “a” or “an.” These situations include:
1. Referring to something that is one of a number of possible things.
Example: My lab is planning to purchase a new microscope. (Have you chosen one
yet? No, we’re still looking at a number of different models.)
2. Referring to one specific part of a larger quantity.
Example: Can I have a bowl of cereal and a slice of toast? (Don’t you want the
whole box of cereal and the whole loaf of bread? No, thanks. Just a bowl and a
slice will be fine.)
3. With certain indefinite quantifiers.
Example: We met a lot of interesting people last night. (You can also say “a bunch
of” or “a ton of” when you want to be vague about the exact quantity. Note that
these expressions are all phrases: a + quantifier + of.)
Exception: “A few of” does not fit this category. See Number 8 in the next section
for the correct usage of this expression.
4. Specifying information associated with each item of a grouping.
Example: My attorney asked for $200 an hour, but I’ll offer him $200 a week
instead. (In this case, “a” can substitute for the word “per.”)
5. Introducing a noun to the reader for the first time (also called “first mention”). Use
“the” for each subsequent reference to that noun if you mean “this one exactly.”
Example: I presented a paper last month, and my advisor wants me to turn the
paper into an article. If I can get the article written this semester, I can take a
break after that! I really need a break!
Note
: The writer does not change from “a break” to “the break” with the second mention
because she is not referring to one break in particular (“this break exactly”). It’s
indefinite—any break will be fine!!
When you mean “this one exactly”
Talking about “this one exactly” is also called “definite reference.” We use it when both the
reader and the writer can identify the exact noun that is being referred to.
When you mean “this one exactly,” you have two article choices: Ø, the. The choice of article
depends on the noun and on the context. Ask yourself, “What kind of noun is it?”
1. (Most) Proper nouns = no article (Ø)
a. My research will be conducted in Luxembourg.
b. Dr. Homer inspired my interest in Ontario.
Note: Some proper nouns do require “the.” See the special notes on nouns below.
2. Non-count nouns = the
a. Step two: mix the water with the boric acid.
b. The laughter of my children is contagious.
3. Plural nouns = the f. A few examples (emphasis on the group as a whole)
a. We recruited the nurses from General Hospital.
b. The projects described in your proposal will be fully funded. Note:
4. Singular nouns = the
“Few examples” is different from “a few examples”. Compare:
a. Bring the umbrella in my closet if it looks like rain.
The teacher gave a few good examples. (emphasizes the presence of good examples)
b. Did you get the visa you applied for?
The teacher gave few good examples. (emphasizes the lack of good examples)
In certain situations, we always use “the” because the noun or the context makes it clear
Article flowchart
that we’re talking about “this one exactly.” The context might include the words surrounding
the noun or the context of knowledge that people share. Examples of these situations include:
For the more visually oriented, this flowchart sketches out the basic rules and basic questions.
1. Unique nouns
a. The earth rotates around the sun.
b. The future looks bright!
2. Shared knowledge (both participants know what’s being referred to, so it’s not
necessary to specify with any more details)
a. The boss just asked about the report.
b. Meet me in the parking lot after the show.
3. Second mention (with explicit first mention)
a. I found a good handout on English articles. The handout is available online.
b. You can get a giant ice cream cone downtown. If you can eat the cone in five
seconds, you get another one free.
4. Second mention (with implied first mention—this one is very, very common)
a. Dr. Frankenstein performed a complicated surgery. He said the patient is
recovering nicely. (“The patient” is implied by “surgery”—every surgery has a
patient.)
b. My new shredder works fabulously! The paper is completely destroyed. (Again,
“the paper” is implied by “shredder.”)
5. Ordinals and superlatives (first, next, primary, most, best, least, etc.)
a. The first man to set foot on the moon…
b. The greatest advances in medicine…
6. Specifiers (sole, only, principle, etc.)
a. The sole purpose of our organization is…
b. The only fact we need to consider is…
7. Restricters (words, phrases, or clauses that restrict the noun to one definite meaning)
a. Study the chapter on osmosis for the test tomorrow.
b. Also study the notes you took at the lecture that Dr. Science gave yesterday.
8. Plural nouns in partitive -of phrases (phrases that indicate parts of a larger whole)
(Note: Treat “of the” as a chunk in these phrases—both words in or both words out)
a. Most of the international students (emphasis on part of the group) Some notes about nouns
b. Most international students (emphasis on the group as a whole)
c. Several of the risk factors (emphasis on part of the group) Uncountable nouns
d. Several risk factors (emphasis on the group as a whole)
e. A few of the examples (emphasis on part of the group) As the name suggests, uncountable nouns (also called non-count or mass nouns) are things

 
 

Commas
Commas help your reader figure out which words go together in a sentence and which parts of
your sentences are most important. Using commas incorrectly may confuse the reader, signal
ignorance of writing rules, or indicate carelessness. Although using commas correctly may seem
mysterious, it can be easy if you follow a few guidelines.
Beware of popular myths of comma usage:
MYTH: Long sentences need a comma. A really long sentence may be perfectly correct
without commas. The length of a sentence does not determine whether you need a comma.
MYTH: You should add a comma wherever you pause. Where you pause or breathe in
a sentence does not reliably indicate where a comma belongs. Different readers pause or
breathe in different places.
MYTH: Commas are so mysterious that it’s impossible to figure out where they
belong! Some rules are flexible, but most of the time, commas belong in very predictable
places. You can learn to identify many of those places using the tips in this handout.
You probably already know at least one of the following guidelines and just have to practice the
others. These guidelines are basically all you need to know; if you learn them once, you’re set
for most situations.
1. Introductory bits (small-medium-large)
Setting off introductory words, phrases, or clauses with a comma lets the reader know that the
main subject and main verb of the sentence come later. There are basically three kinds of
introductory bits: small, medium, and large ones. No matter what size they are, an introductory
bit cannot stand alone as a complete thought. It simply introduces the main subject and verb.
There are small (just one word) introductory bits:
Generally, extraterrestrials are friendly and helpful.
Moreover, some will knit booties for you if you ask nicely.

There are medium introductory bits. Often these are two- to four-word prepositional phrases or
brief -ing and -ed phrases:
In fact, Godzilla is just a misunderstood teen lizard of giant proportions.
Throughout his early life, he felt a strong affinity with a playful dolphin named Flipper.
Frankly speaking, Godzilla wanted to play the same kinds of roles that Flipper was given.
Dissatisfied with destruction, he was hoping to frolick in the waves with his Hollywood
friends.
There are large introductory bits (more than 4 words). You can often spot these by looking for
key words/groups such as although, if, as, in order to, and when:
If you discover that you feel nauseated, then you know you’ve tried my Clam Surprise.
As far as I am concerned, it is the best dish for dispatching unwanted guests.
2. FANBOYS
FANBOYS is a handy mnemonic device for remembering the coordinating conjunctions: For,
And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So. These words function as connectors. They can connect words,
phrases, and clauses, like this:
Words: I am almost dressed and ready.
Phrases: My socks are in the living room or under my bed.
Clauses: They smell really bad, so they will be easy to find.
Notice the comma in the final example. You should always have a comma before FANBOYS
that join two independent clauses (two subjects and two verbs that make up two complete
thoughts). Look carefully at the next two sentences to see two independent clauses separated
by comma + FANBOYS.
If you do not have two subjects and two verbs separated by the FANBOYS, you do not need to
insert the comma before the FANBOYS. In other words, if the second grouping of words isn’t a
complete thought, don’t use a comma. Try reading the words after FANBOYS all by
themselves. Do they make a complete thought?


You can read your own writing in the same way. Read what comes after FANBOYS all by itself.
If it’s a complete thought, you need a comma. If not, you don’t.
3. The dreaded comma splice
If you don’t have FANBOYS between the two complete and separate thoughts, using a comma
alone causes a “comma splice” or “fused sentence” (some instructors may call it a run-on).
Some readers (especially professors) will think of this as a serious error.
BAD: My hamster loved to play, I gave him a hula-hoop.
ALSO BAD: You wore a lovely hat, it was your only defense.
To fix these comma splices, you can do one of four simple things: just add FANBOYS, change
the comma to a semicolon, make each clause a separate sentence, or add a subordinator (a
word like because, while, although, if, when, since, etc.)
GOOD: You wore a lovely hat, for it was your only defense.
ALSO GOOD: You wore a lovely hat; it was your only defense.
STILL GOOD: You wore a lovely hat. It was your only defense.
TOTALLY GOOD: You wore a lovely hat because it was your only defense.
4. FANBOYS fakers
However, therefore, moreover, and other words like them are not FANBOYS (they are
called conjunctive adverbs). They go between two complete thoughts, just like FANBOYS, but
they take different punctuation. Why? Who cares? You just need to recognize that they are not
FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so—remember?), and you’ll make the right choice.
When you want to use one of these words, you have two good choices. Check to see if you
have a complete thought on both sides of the “conjunctive adverb.” If you do, then you can use
a period to make two sentences, or you can use a semicolon after the first complete thought.
Either way, you’ll use a comma after the faker in the second complete thought. Notice the
subtle differences in punctuation here:
GOOD: Basketball is my favorite sport. However, table tennis is where I excel.
ALSO GOOD: Basketball is my favorite sport; however, table tennis is where I excel.

BAD: Basketball is my favorite sport, however table tennis is where I excel.
ALSO BAD: Basketball is my favorite sport, however, table tennis is where I excel.
5. X,Y, and Z
Put commas between items in a list. When giving a short and simple list of things in a sentence,
the last comma (right before the conjunction–usually and or or) is optional, but it is never
wrong. If the items in the list are longer and more complicated, you should always place a final
comma before the conjunction.
EITHER: You can buy life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in Los Angeles.
OR: You can buy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in Los Angeles.
BUT ALWAYS: A good student listens to his teachers without yawning, reads once in a
while, and writes papers before they are due.
6. Describers
If you have two or more adjectives (words that describe) that are not joined by a conjunction
(usually and) and both/all adjectives modify the same word, put a comma between them.
He was a bashful, dopey, sleepy dwarf.
The frothy, radiant princess kissed the putrid, vile frog.
7. Interrupters
Two commas can be used to set off additional information that appears within the sentence but
is separate from the primary subject and verb of the sentence. These commas help your reader
figure out your main point by telling him or her that the words within the commas are not
necessary to understand the rest of the sentence. In other words, you should be able to take
out the section framed by commas and still have a complete and clear sentence.
Bob Mills, a sophomore from Raleigh, was the only North Carolina native at the Japanese
food festival in Cary.
Aaron thought he could see the future, not the past, in the wrinkles on his skin.
My chemistry book, which weighs about 100 pounds, has some really great examples.
To see if you need commas around an interrupter, try taking the interrupter out of the sentence
completely. If the sentence is still clear without the interrupter, then you probably need the
commas.
Congratulations! You know how to use commas!

But wait—is there more?

These guidelines cover the most common situations in writing, but you may have a stickier
question. Below are some suggestions for finding some of the many other resources at your
disposal.
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If you are worried about punctuation in general, pick up a writing handbook from the library or
the University bookstore. You’ll find a list of handy resources below.

Works consulted
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Rosen, Leonard J. et al. The Allyn & Bacon Handbook. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2000.
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 If you stick your fingers into the fire, you will burn yourself. (Same idea as above, but
rather than stating a general fact, you are talking about a specific incident.)
If you stick your fingers into the fire, you will be crying all day.
Notice that the verb “stick” is in the present tense. Using the present tense verb shows two
things:
1. it hasn’t happened yet (it’s unreal)
2. you believe it could happen (it’s likely)
Also notice that the main clause verbs (will burn, will be crying) can be in simple form or -ing
form. It depends on whether you want to emphasize a single moment in time (simple form) or
the an extended period of time (-ing form). In either case, use will + verb in the main clause.
When the situation is unreal, but likely, use present tense in the conditional clause and will
+ verb in the main clause.
Second conditional: “Unreal and unlikely”
still imagine what the consequences would have been.
For example, the 25 year old was joking about reaching into the fire, but he didn’t actually do
it. We would say:
If you had stuck your hand into the fire, you would have needed medical attention.
If you had stuck your hand into the fire, you would have been screaming in pain.
In the next two examples, the 25 year old actually did stick his hand into the fire. The “unreal”
situation is the opposite:
If you hadn’t stuck your hand into the fire, you wouldn’t have spent the evening in the
emergency room.
If you hadn’t stuck your hand into the fire, you wouldn’t have blistered it so badly.
When the situation is unreal and in the past, use past perfect (had + -ed) in the
conditional clause and would have + verb in the main clause.
Mixing time references

This conditional deals with situations in the present and future that are both unreal and
unlikely. The situation we are describing hasn’t happened yet, and we really can’t imagine it
happening very easily, except in a freak accident or a moment of great stupidity.
For example, a 25 year old is joking about reaching into the fire. He hasn’t put his fingers into
the fire yet, and we don’t think he’s serious about doing it, but we want to warn him about the
consequences just in case. We would say:
In the examples of the third conditional (unreal and in the past), both the conditional clause
and the main clause refer to past time: If you had done this in the past, you would have
experienced this in the past.
It is also possible to mix time references—to talk about a condition in the past and the
consequences in the present. For example:

If you stuck your fingers into the fire, you would need medical attention.
If you stuck your fingers into the fire, you would be screaming in pain all day.
Notice that the verb “stuck” is in the past tense. Using the past tense verb shows two things:
1. it hasn’t happened yet (it’s unreal)
2. you don’t really believe it will happen (it’s unlikely)
If you had stuck your fingers into the fire last night, you would be in a lot of pain right now.
If you hadn’t stuck your fingers into the fire last night, you wouldn’t be wearing bandages
today.
Find more examples at the English Club website: http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/verbs-
conditional.htm

Also notice that the main clause verbs (would need, would be screaming) can be in simple form
or -ing form. It depends on whether you want to emphasize a single moment in time (simple
form) or the an extended period of time (-ing form). In either case, use would + verb in the
main clause.

When the situation is unreal and unlikely, use past tense in the conditional clause and
would + verb in the main clause.

Third conditional: “Unreal condition”

This conditional deals with situations in the *past* that are unreal—they didn’t happen. We can

 

Editing and Proofreading
This handout provides some tips and strategies for revising your writing. To give you a chance
to practice proofreading, we have left seven errors (three spelling errors, two punctuation
errors, and two grammatical errors) in the text of this handout. See if you can spot them!
Is editing the same thing as proofreading?
Not exactly. Although many people use the terms interchangeably, editing and proofreading are
two different stages of the revision process. Both demand close and careful reading, but they
focus on different aspects of the writing and employ different techniques.
Some tips that apply to both editing and proofreading
Get some distance from the text! It’s hard to edit or proofread a paper that you’ve just
finished writing—it’s still to familiar, and you tend to skip over a lot of errors. Put the paper
aside for a few hours, days, or weeks. Go for a run. Take a trip to the beach. Clear your
head of what you’ve written so you can take a fresh look at the paper and see what is really
on the page. Better yet, give the paper to a friend—you can’t get much more distance than
that. Someone who is reading the paper for the first time, comes to it with completely fresh
eyes.
Decide what medium lets you proofread most carefully. Some people like to work right at
the computer, while others like to sit back with a printed copy that they can mark up as
they read.
Try changing the look of your document. Altering the size, spacing, color, or style of the
text may trick your brain into thinking it’s seeing an unfamiliar document, and that can help
you get a different perspective on what you’ve written.
Find a quiet place to work. Don’t try to do your proofreading in front of the TV or while
you’re chugging away on the treadmill. Find a place where you can concentrate and avoid
distractions.
If possible, do your editing and proofreading in several short blocks of time, rather than all
at once—otherwise, your concentration is likely to wane.
If you’re short on time, you may wish to prioritize your editing and proofreading tasks to be
sure that the most important ones are completed.
Editing

Editing is what you begin doing as soon as you finish your first draft. You reread your draft to
see, for example, whether the paper is well-organized, the transitions between paragraphs are
smooth, and your evidence really backs up your argument. You can edit on several levels:
Content
Have you done everything the assignment requires? Are the claims you make accurate? If it is
required to do so, does your paper make an argument? Is the argument complete? Are all of
your claims consistent? Have you supported each point with adequate evidence? Is all of the
information in your paper relevant to the assignment and/or your overall writing goal? (For
additional tips, see our handouts on how to read an assignment and argument in academic
writing.)
Overall structure
Does your paper have an appropriate introduction and conclusion? Is your thesis clearly stated
in your introduction? Is it clear how each paragraph in the body of your paper is related to your
thesis? Are the paragraphs arranged in a logical sequence? Have you made clear transitions
between paragraphs? One way to check the structure of your paper is to make an outline of the
paper after you have written the first draft. (See our handouts on introductions, conclusions,
constructing thesis statements, and transitions.)
Structure within paragraphs
Does each paragraph have a clear topic sentence? Does each paragraph stick to one main idea?
Are there any extraneous or missing sentences in any of your paragraphs? (See our handout on
paragraph development.)
Clarity
Have you defined any important terms that might be unclear to your reader? Is the meaning of
each sentence clear? (One way to answer this question is to read your paper one sentence at a
time, starting at the end and working backwards so that you will not unconsciously fill in
content from previous sentences.) Is it clear what each pronoun (he, she, it, they, which, who,
this, etc.) refers to? Have you chosen the proper words to express your ideas? Avoid using
words you find in the thesaurus that aren’t part of your normal vocabulary; you may misuse
them.
Style
Have you used an appropriate tone (formal, informal, persuasive, etc.)? Is your use of
gendered language (masculine and feminine pronouns like “he” or “she,” words like “fireman”
that contain “man,” and words that some people incorrectly assume apply to only one gender—
for example, some people assume “nurse” must refer to a woman) appropriate? Have you
varied the length and structure of your sentences? Do you tends to use the passive voice too
often? Does your writing contain a lot of unnecessary phrases like “there is,” “there are,” “due

to the fact that,” etc.? Do you repeat a strong word (for example, a vivid main verb)
unnecessarily? (For tips, see our handouts on style and gender-sensitive language.)

Citations

Have you appropriately cited quotes, paraphrases, and ideas you got from sources? Are your
citations in the correct format? (See the Libraries citation tutorial for more information.)

As you edit at all of these levels, you will usually make significant revisions to the content and
wording of your paper. Keep an eye out for patterns of error; knowing what kinds of problems
you tend to have will be helpful, especially if you are editing a large document like a thesis or
dissertation. Once you have identified a pattern, you can develop techniques for spotting and
correcting future instances of that pattern. For example, if you notice that you often discuss
several distinct topics in each paragraph, you can go through your paper and underline the key
words in each paragraph, then break the paragraphs up so that each one focuses on just one
main idea.

Proofreading

Proofreading is the final stage of the editing process, focusing on surface errors such as
misspellings and mistakes in grammar and punctuation. You should proofread only after you
have finished all of your other editing revisions.

Why proofread? It’s the content that really matters, right?

Content is important. But like it or not, the way a paper looks affects the way others judge it.
When you’ve worked hard to develop and present your ideas, you don’t want careless errors
distracting your reader from what you have to say. It’s worth paying attention to the details
that help you to make a good impression.

Most people devote only a few minutes to proofreading, hoping to catch any glaring errors that
jump out from the page. But a quick and cursory reading, especially after you’ve been working
long and hard on a paper, usually misses a lot. It’s better to work with a definite plan that helps
you to search systematically for specific kinds of errors.

Sure, this takes a little extra time, but it pays off in the end. If you know that you have an
effective way to catch errors when the paper is almost finished, you can worry less about
editing while you are writing your first drafts. This makes the entire writing proccess more
efficient.

Try to keep the editing and proofreading processes separate. When you are editing an early
draft, you don’t want to be bothered with thinking about punctuation, grammar, and spelling. If
your worrying about the spelling of a word or the placement of a comma, you’re not focusing on
the more important task of developing and connecting ideas.

The proofreading process

 
 comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.

Especially for non-native speakers of English:

Ascher, Allen. Think about Editing: A Grammar Editing Guide for ESL Writers. Boston: Heinle &
Heinle, 1993.

Lane, Janet and Ellen Lange. Writing Clearly: An Editing Guide. Boston: Heinle & Heinle, 1993.

For everyone:

Einsohn, Amy. The Copyeditor’s Handbook. Berkeley and Los Angeles: University of California
Press, 2000.

Lanham, Richard. Revising Prose. 3rd ed. New York: Macmillan, 1992.

Tarshis, Barry. How to Be Your Own Best Editor. New York: Three Rivers Press, 1998.

 

Fragments and Run-ons
If instructors have ever returned your papers with “frag”, “S.F.”, “R.O.”, or “run-on” written in
the margin, you may find this handout useful. It will help you locate and correct sentence
fragments and run-ons.
The basics
Before we get to the problems and how to fix them, let’s take a minute to review some
information that is so basic you’ve probably forgotten it.
What is a complete sentence? A complete sentence is not merely a group of words with a
capital letter at the beginning and a period or question mark at the end. A complete sentence
has three components:
1. a subject (the actor in the sentence)
2. a predicate (the verb or action), and
3. a complete thought (it can stand alone and make sense—it’s independent).
Some sentences can be very short, with only two or three words expressing a complete
thought, like this:
John waited.
This sentence has a subject (John) and a verb (waited), and it expresses a complete thought.
We can understand the idea completely with just those two words, so again, it’s independent—
an independent clause. But independent clauses (i.e., complete sentences) can be expanded
to contain a lot more information, like this:
John waited for the bus all morning.
John waited for the bus all morning in the rain last Tuesday.
Wishing he’d brought his umbrella, John waited for the bus all morning in the rain last
Tuesday.
Wishing he’d brought his umbrella and dreaming of his nice warm bed, John waited for
the bus all morning in the rain last Tuesday because his car was in the shop.

As your sentences grow more complicated, it gets harder to spot and stay focused on the basic
elements of a complete sentence, but if you look carefully at the examples above, you’ll see
that the main thought is still that John waited—one main subject and one main verb. No matter
how long or short the other sentence parts are, none of them can stand alone and make sense.
Being able to find the main subject, the main verb, and the complete thought is the first trick to
learn for identifying fragments and run-ons.
Sentence fragments
A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence. Some fragments are incomplete because
they lack either a subject or a verb, or both. The fragments that most students have trouble
with, however, are dependent clauses—they have a subject and a verb, so they look like
complete sentences, but they don’t express a complete thought. They’re called “dependent”
because they can’t stand on their own (just like some people you might know who are SO
dependent!). Look at these dependent clauses. They’re just begging for more information to
make the thoughts complete:
Because his car was in the shop(What did he do?)
After the rain stops (What then?)
When you finally take the test (What will happen?)
Since you asked (Will you get the answer?)
If you want to go with me (What should you do?)
Does each of these examples have a subject? Yes. Does each have a verb? Yes. So what makes
the thought incomplete?? It’s the first word (Because, After, When, Since, If). These words
belong to a special class of words called subordinators or subordinating conjunctions. If
you know something about subordinating conjunctions, you can probably eliminate 90% of your
fragments.
First, you need to know that subordinating conjunctions do three things:
1. join two sentences together
2. make one of the sentences dependent on the other for a complete thought (make one a
dependent clause)
3. indicate a logical relationship
Second, you need to recognize the subordinators when you see them. Here is a list of common
subordinating conjunctions and the relationships they indicate:
Cause / Effect: because, since, so that
Comparison / Contrast: although, even though, though, whereas, while

 Place & Manner: how, however, where, wherever
Possibility / Conditions: if, whether, unless
Relation: that, which, who
Time: after, as, before, since, when, whenever, while, until
Third, you need to know that the subordinator (and the whole dependent clause) doesn’t have
to be at the beginning of the sentence. The dependent clause and the independent clause can
switch places, but the whole clause moves as one big chunk. Look at how these clauses
switched places in the sentence:
Because his car was in the shop, John took the bus.
John took the bus because his car was in the shop.
Finally, you need to know that every dependent clause needs to be attached to an independent
clause (remember, the independent clause can stand on its own).
How do you find and fix your fragments? Remember the basics: subject, verb, and
complete thought. If you can recognize those things, you’re halfway there. Then, scan your
sentences for subordinating conjunctions. If you find one, first identify the whole chunk of the
dependent clause (the subject and verb that go with the subordinator), and then make sure
they’re attached to an independent clause.
John took the bus. (independent clause) Because his car was in the shop. (Dependent
clause all by itself. Uh oh! Fragment!)
John took the bus because his car was in the shop. (Hooray! It’s fixed!)
Run-ons
These are also called fused sentences. You are making a run-on when you put two complete
sentences (a subject and its predicate and another subject and its predicate) together in one
sentence without separating them properly. Here’s an example of a run-on:
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus it is very garlicky.
This one sentence actually contains two complete sentences. But in the rush to get that idea
out, I made it into one incorrect sentence. Luckily, there are many ways to correct this run-on
sentence.
You could use a semicolon:
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus; it is very garlicky.
You could use a comma and a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so):

My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus, for it is very garlicky. -OR- My favorite
Mediterranean spread is hummus, and it is very garlicky.
You could use a subordinating conjunction (see above):
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus because it is very garlicky. -OR- Because
it is so garlicky, my favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus.
You could make it into two separate sentences with a period in between:
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus. It is very garlicky.
You could use an em-dash (a long dash) for emphasis:
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus—it is very garlicky.
You CANNOT simply add a comma between the two sentences, or you’ll end up with what’s
called a “comma splice.” Here’s an example of a comma splice:
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus, it is very garlicky.
You can fix a comma splice the same way you fix a run-on—either change the punctuation or
add a conjunction. The good news is that writers tend to be either comma splicers or run-on
artists, but almost never both. Which one are you? If you have particular trouble with comma
splices, try looking at our handout on commas.
Finding run-ons
As you can see, fixing run-ons is pretty easy once you see them—but how do you find out if a
sentence is a run-on if you aren’t sure? Rei R. Noguchi, in his book Grammar and the Teaching
of Writing, suggests that you test your sentences with two methods:
1. Turn them into yes/no questions.
2. Turn them into tag questions (sentences that end with a questioning phrase at the very end
—look at our examples below).
These are two things that nearly everyone can do easily if the sentence is not a run-on, but
they become next to impossible if it is.
Look at the following sentence:
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus.
If you turn it into a question that someone could answer with a yes or no, it looks like this:
Is my favorite Mediterranean spread hummus?
If you turn it into a tag question, it looks like this:

 My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus, isn’t it?
The first sentence is complete and not a run-on, because our test worked. Now, try the test
with the original run-on sentence:
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus it is very garlicky.
The yes/no question can only be made with each separate thought, not the sentence as a
whole:
Is my favorite Mediterranean spread hummus? Is it very garlicky?
But not:
Is my favorite Mediterranean spread hummus is it very garlicky?
The tag question can also only be made with each separate thought, rather than the whole:
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus, isn’t it? It’s very garlicky, isn’t it?
But never:
My favorite Mediterranean spread is hummus it is very garlicky, isn’t it?
Neither test works for you, does it? That’s because when you try, you immediately see that you
have more than one complete concept in that sentence, and you can’t make the whole thing
turn into one question. Make sure you try both tests with each of your problem sentences,
because you may trick yourself by just putting a tag on the last part and not noticing that it
doesn’t work on the first. Some people might not notice that “My favorite Mediterranean spread
is hummus it is very garlicky isn’t it?” is wrong, but most people will spot the yes/no question
problem right away.
Every once in a while, you or your instructor will see a really long sentence and think it’s a run-
on when it isn’t. Really long sentences can be tiring but not necessarily wrong—just make sure
that yours aren’t wrong by using the tests above.
Works consulted
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
Hacker, Diana. A Writer’s Reference 5th ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2003.
Hairston, Maxine, et al. The Scott, Foresman Handbook for Writers. 6th ed. USA: Addison-

Gender-Sensitive Language
This handout will explain some of the current thinking on gender issues and writing and will
provide suggestions to help you appropriately express gender relationships as you write.
What is “gender-sensitive language” and why should I use it?
English speakers and writers have traditionally been taught to use masculine nouns and
pronouns in situations where the gender of their subject(s) is unclear or variable, or when a
group to which they are referring contains members of both sexes. For example, the U.S.
Declaration of Independence states that ” . . . all men are created equal . . .” and most of us
were taught in elementary school to understand the word “men” in that context includes both
male and female Americans. In recent decades, however, as women have become increasingly
involved in the public sphere of American life, writers have reconsidered the way they express
gender identities and relationships. Because most English language readers no longer
understand the word “man” to be synonymous with “people,” writers today must think more
carefully about the ways they express gender in order to convey their ideas clearly and
accurately to their readers.
Moreover, these issues are important for people concerned about issues of social inequality.
There is a relationship between our language use and our social reality. If we “erase” women
from language, that makes it easier to maintain gender inequality. As Professor Sherryl
Kleinman (2000:6) has argued,
[M]ale-based generics are another indicator—and, more importantly, a reinforcer—of a
system in which “man” in the abstract and men in the flesh are privileged over women.
Words matter, and our language choices have consequences. If we believe that women and
men deserve social equality, then we should think seriously about how to reflect that belief in
our language use.
If you’re reading this handout, you’re probably already aware that tackling gender sensitivity in
your writing is no small task, especially since there isn’t yet (and there may never be) a set of
concrete guidelines on which to base your decisions. Fortunately, there are a number of
different strategies the gender-savvy writer can use to express gender relationships with
precision. This handout will provide you with an overview of some of those strategies so that
you can “mix and match” as necessary when you write.

Pronouns
A pronoun is a word that substitutes for a noun. The English language provides pronoun options
for references to masculine nouns (for example, “he” can substitute for “Tom”), feminine nouns
(“she” can replace “Lucy”), and neutral/non-human nouns (“it” stands in for “a tree”), but no
choice for sex-neutral third-person singular nouns (“the writer,” “a student,” or “someone”).
Although most of us learned in elementary school that masculine pronouns (he, his, him)
should be used as the “default” in situations where the referent (that is, the person or thing to
which you’re referring) could be either male or female, that usage is generally considered
unacceptable now. So what should you do when you’re faced with one of those gender-neutral
or gender-ambiguous situations? Well, you’ve got a few options . . .
1. Use “they”
This option is currently much debated by grammar experts, but most agree that it works well in
at least several kinds of situations. In order to use “they” to express accurately gender
relationships, you’ll need to understand that “they” is traditionally used only to refer to a plural
noun. For example,
Sojourner Truth and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were famous “first-wave” American feminists.
They were also both involved in the Abolitionist movement.
In speech, though, we early twenty-first century Americans commonly use “they” to refer to a
singular referent. According to many grammar experts, that usage is incorrect, but here’s an
example of how it sounds in our everyday speech:
If a student wants to learn more about gender inequality, they should take Intro to Women’s
Studies.
Note that in this example, “a student” is singular, but it is replaced in the second sentence by
“they,” a plural pronoun. In speech, we often don’t notice such substitutions of the plural for
the singular, but in writing, some will find such substitutions awkward or incorrect. Some
people argue that “they” should become the default gender-neutral pronoun for English writing,
but since that usage can still sound awkward to many readers, it’s best to use “they” only in
plural situations. Thus, one other option the gender-savvy writer may choose to employ is to
make her/his sentence plural. Here’s one way that can work:
A student’s beliefs about feminism may be based on what he has heard in the popular media.
can become
Students’ beliefs about feminism may be based on what they have heard in the popular media.
2. Use she or he or she/he.
There is another, simpler option the gender-savvy writer can use to deal with situations where
 
a pronoun needs to refer to a person whose gender isn’t known: write out both pronoun options
as “she or he” or “she/he.” For example,
Each student who majors in Women’s Studies major must take a course in Feminist Theory.
She or he may also get course credit for completing an internship at a local organization that
benefits women.
OR
Each student who majors in Women’s Studies major must take a course in Feminist Theory.
She/he may also get course credit for completing an internship at a local organization that
benefits women.
3. Alternate genders and pronouns
You may also choose to alternate gendered pronouns. This option will work only in certain
situations, though—usually hypothetical situations in which the referent is equally likely to be a
male or a female. For example, both male and female students use the Writing Center’s
services, so the author of our staff manual chose to alternate between masculine and feminine
pronouns when writing the following tutoring guidelines:
Respond as a reader, explaining what and how you were/are thinking as you read her texts
so that she can discover where a reader might struggle with her writing.
Ask him to outline the draft to reveal the organization of the paper.
Ask her to describe her purpose and audience and show how she has taken them into
account in her writing.
Explain a recurring pattern and let him locate repeated instances of it.
Of course, this author could also have included both pronouns in each sentence by writing
“her/his” or “her/him,” but in this case, alternating “he” and “she” conveys the same sense of
gender variability and is likely a little easier on the reader, who won’t have to pause to process
several different options every time a gendered pronoun is needed in the sentence. This
example also provides a useful demonstration of how gender-savvy writers can take advantage
of the many different options available by choosing the one that best suits the unique
requirements of each piece of writing they produce.
4. Eliminate the pronoun altogether
Finally, you can also simply eliminate the pronoun. For example,
Allan Johnson is a contemporary feminist theorist. This writer and professor gave a speech
at in the fall of 2007.
Note how the sentence used “this writer and professor” rather than “he.”
Many people accept the negative stereotype that if a person is a feminist, she must hate men.
could become
Many people accept the negative stereotype that feminist beliefs are based on hatred of men.
Note how the second version of the sentence talks about the beliefs. By avoiding using the
pronoun “she,” it leaves open the possibility that men may be feminists.
Gendered nouns
“The male nurse walked into the room.” Using “female” and “male” in this way reinforces the
assumption that most or all doctors are male and most or all nurses are female. Unless the sex
of the nurse or doctor is important to the meaning of the sentence, it can be omitted.
As you work on becoming a gender-savvy writer, you may find it helpful to watch out for the
following gendered nouns and replace them with one of the alternatives listed below. Check a
thesaurus for alternatives to gendered nouns not included in this list.

Like gendered pronouns, gendered nouns can also provide a stumbling block for the gender- gendered noun gender-neutral noun
savvy writer. The best way to avoid implications these words can carry is simply to be aware of
man person, individual
how we tend to use them in speech and writing. Because gendered nouns are so commonly
used and accepted by English writers and speakers, we often don’t notice them or the freshman first-year student
implications they bring with them. Once you’ve recognized that a gender distinction is being
made by such a word, though, conversion of the gendered noun into a gender-savvy one is mankind people, human beings, humanity
usually very simple.
man-made machine-made, synthetic
“Man” and words ending in “-man” are the most commonly used gendered nouns, so avoiding
the common the average (or ordinary) person
the confusion they bring can be as simple as watching out for these words and replacing them
man
with words that convey your meaning more effectively. For example, if the founders of America to operate, to cover, to staff
had been gender-savvy writers, they might have written ” . . . all people are created equal” to man
instead of ” . . . all men are created equal . . ..” chair, chairperson, coordinator
chairman
Another common gendered expression, particularly in informal speech and writing, is “you mail carrier, letter carrier, postal worker
guys.” This expression is used to refer to groups of men, groups of women, and groups that mailman
police officer
include both men and women. Although most people mean to be inclusive when they use “you
policeman
guys,” this phrase wouldn’t make sense if it didn’t subsume women under the category “guys.” flight attendant
To see why “you guys” is gendered male, consider that “a guy” (singular) is definitely a man, steward,
not a woman, and that most men would not feel included in the expression “you gals” or “you stewardess congress person, legislator, representative
girls.”
congressman Dear Sir or Madam:, Dear Editor:, Dear Service Representative:, To Whom it
Another example of gendered language is the way the words “Mr.,” “Miss,” and “Mrs.” are used. May Concern:
“Mr.” can refer to any man, regardless of whether he is single or married—but women are Dear Sir:
defined by their relationship to men (by whether they are married or not). A way around this is
to use “Ms.” (which doesn’t indicate marital status) to refer to women.
Proper nouns
Sometimes we modify nouns that refer to jobs or positions to denote the sex of the person
holding that position. This often done if the sex of the person holding the position goes against Proper nouns can also give gender-savvy writers pause, but as with common nouns, it is
conventional expectations. To get a sense of these expectations, think about what sex you usually very easy to use gender-neutral language once you’ve noticed the gendered patterns in
would instinctively assume the subject of each of these sentences to be: your own writing. And the best way to avoid any confusion in your use of proper nouns is to use
the same rules to discuss of women subjects as you already use when you’re writing about
The doctor walked into the room.
men. In the examples below, notice how using different conventions for references to male and
The nurse walked into the room.
female subjects suggests a difference in the amount of respect being given to individuals on the
Many people assume that doctors are men and that nurses are women. Because of such basis of their gender.
assumptions, someone might write sentences like “The female doctor walked into the room” or

 
1. Refer to women subjects by only their last names—just as you would do for men subjects.
For example, we would never refer to William Shakespeare as just “William;” we call him
“Shakespeare” or “William Shakespeare.” Thus, you should never refer to Jane Austen simply
as “Jane;” you should write “Jane Austen” or “Austen.”
2. In circumstances where you’re writing about several people who have the same last name,
try using the full name of the person every time you refer to him/her.
For example, if you’re writing about George and Martha Washington, referring to him as
“Washington” and her as “Martha” conveys a greater respect for him than for her. In order to
express an equal amount of respect for these two historical figures, simply refer to each subject
by her/his full name: “George Washington” and “Martha Washington.” This option may sound
like it could get too wordy, but it actually works very well in most situations.
3. Refer to women subjects by their full titles, just as you would refer to men subjects.
For example, you wouldn’t call American President Reagan “Ronald,” so you wouldn’t want to
refer to British Prime Minister Thatcher as “Margaret.” Simply call her “Prime Minister Thatcher,”
just as you would write “President Reagan” to refer to him.
Sex versus gender
In many women’s studies classes, one of the fundamental concepts students are expected to
master is the difference feminists see between an individual’s sex (which feminists understand
as one’s biological makeup—male, female, or intersexed) and that person’s gender (a social
construction based on sex—man/masculine or woman/feminine). Because this distinction is so
fundamental to understanding much of the material in many Women’s Studies courses,
expressing the difference between sex and gender is an important element in many writing
assignments given by women’s studies instructors.
Essentially, all you need to express sex vs. gender distinctions accurately in your writing is a
clear understanding of the difference between sex and gender. As you are writing, ask yourself
whether what you’re talking about is someone’s biological makeup or something about the way
that person has been socialized. If you’re referring to biology, use “male” or “female,” and if
what you’re talking about has to do with a behavior or social role someone has been taught
because of her/his biology, use “woman” or “man.”
Thinking about the different answers to these two questions might help clarify the distinction
between sex and gender:
What does it mean to be male?
What does it mean to be a man?
“To be male,” as an expression of biological sex, is to have a chromosomal makeup of XY. “To
be a man,” however, expresses the socially constructed aspects of masculinity. Ideas of

masculinity change across time, culture, and place. Think about the differences between what it
meant “to be a man” in 17th-century France versus what it means “to be a man” today in the
United States.
Checklist for gender revisions
To ensure that you’ve used gender savvy language in your piece of writing, try asking yourself
the following questions:
1. Have you used “man” or “men” or words containing one of them to refer to people who
may be female? If so, consider substituting another word. For example, instead of
“fireman,” try “firefighter.”
2. If you have mentioned someone’s gender, was it necessary to do so? If you identify
someone as a female architect, for example, do you (or would you) refer to someone else
as a “male architect”? And if you then note that the woman is an attractive blonde mother
of two, do you mention that the man is a muscular, dark-haired father of three? Unless
gender and related matters—looks, clothes, parenthood—are relevant to your point, leave
them unmentioned.
3. Do you use any occupational stereotypes? Watch for the use of female pronouns for
elementary school teachers and male ones for scientists, for example.
4. Do you use language that in any way shows a lack of respect for either sex?
5. Have you used “he,” “him,” “his,” or “himself” to refer to people who may be female?
Works consulted
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
Harris, Muriel. Prentice Hall Reference Guide to Grammar and Usage. 3rd Ed. Upper Saddle
River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1997.
Kleinman, Sherryl. (September, 2000). Why sexist language matters. The Center Line, a
newsletter of the Orange County Rape Crisis Center, pp. 6-7.
Kolln, Martha. Rhetorical Grammar: Grammatical Choices, Rhetorical Effects. 2nd Ed.
Lunsford, Andrea and Robert Connors. The St. Martin’s Handbook. 3rd Ed. New York: St.
Martin’s Press, 1991.


Latin Terms and Abbreviations
About Latin terms and abbreviations
Despite the fact that Latin is no longer the international language of scholars, bits and pieces of
it can still be found scattered around. Some of these bits are very common and are even seen
in non-academic writing, while others are much more obscure.
Simply knowing what an abbreviation stands for and how to translate the underlying Latin
words does not necessarily tell you how the abbreviation is used in actual modern practice.
These little remnants of Latin have had a long and colorful life separated from their original
language and context.
There are a few generally accepted rules that apply to most Latin abbreviations. The major
style manuals (MLA, APA and Chicago) agree that Latin abbreviations should be kept out of the
main body of a text-that is, they should not appear in ordinary sentences within ordinary
paragraphs. Certain abbreviations may be used in parentheses within the body of a text (etc.,
e.g., i.e.), but the rest should appear only in footnotes, endnotes, tables, and other forms of
documentation. One notable exception: APA style allows writers to use the abbreviation et al.
when discussing works with multiple authors and v. in the titles of court cases.
Except for N.B., none of the abbreviations we’re about to discuss need to be italicized or
capitalized.
Why should you bother learning about Latin abbreviations?
While it’s perfectly acceptable to use English phrases instead of Latin abbreviations, there’s a
reason why these abbreviations have survived and continue to be used today: they contain a
lot of meaning in a very small package. It takes less time and fewer characters to write e.g.
than “for example.” As an added bonus, using Latin abbreviations correctly can make your
writing sound more sophisticated and scholarly.
Even if you decide that you don’t want to use Latin abbreviations in your own writing, you’re
still going to encounter them in other texts. Knowing what these abbreviations mean and how

they are used is crucial to understanding and interpreting these works.
The big three: etc., i.e., and e.g.
The average person could go through life never having to worry about most Latin abbreviations,
but there are three that have become so widespread that they’re impossible to avoid: etc., i.e.
and e.g. These are also the most often misused Latin abbreviations. Let’s take a look at each of
them, what they mean and how they can be used.
etc.
The abbreviation etc. stands for et cetera, which translates literally as “and others” or “and the
rest.” A more useful translation that can be substituted for etc. (especially when reading aloud)
is “and so on.” It is used at the end of a list to indicate that there are more elements to the list
that are being left out so that the list doesn’t become too long. For example:
All of the objects in our solar system (planets, comets, etc.) orbit the sun.
Many other examples could be included in a list of objects in our solar system (like asteroids
and moons), but it would take too much space and time to list them all. Also, listing them all
wouldn’t add much to the sentence-readers don’t need to know the identity of every object
orbiting the sun in order to understand the sentence.
In lists where you use etc., be sure all the listed items are of the same kind. If you wrote the
following sentence, your readers might have a hard time telling what “etc.” is substituting for
because some of the items listed are objects, while others are people or activities:
I’m very interested in astronomy—planets, stargazing, Carl Sagan, etc.
When etc. is used at the end of a list, it should be preceded by a comma just like the other
elements of the list. It should never have the word “and” before it: the Latin word et has
already got that covered.
e.g. and i.e.
These are the two most often misused and confused Latin abbreviations-and for good reason.
In any given sentence, it’s often not immediately clear how i.e. and e.g. are different. Both
appear inside parentheses and offer extra information that helps explain what’s come before.
There is, however, a very important and useful difference between these two abbreviations.
The abbreviation e.g. stands for exempli gratia, which translates literally as “for the sake of an
example”-but you can really just cut out the stuff in the middle and read it as “for example.” It
is used to give an example or set of examples to help clarify the preceding idea. In general, if
you use e.g., you should provide one or two short examples. More can be used, but only if they
are simple and can be expressed in a single word or short phrase. It isn’t necessary to use etc.
at the end of a list following e.g.; it’s understood that there are more examples than those that

you’ve given. You should not list all of the possible examples.
The abbreviation i.e. stands for id est, which translates literally as “that is.” Sometimes it might
be more useful, however, to translate it as “what that means is” or “that is to say.” This
abbreviation is used to clarify the preceding idea by restating it more simply or in different
terms. Strictly speaking, what follows i.e. in parentheses should be equivalent to what comes
before-you should be able to switch them without changing the meaning of the sentence. If this
involves making a list, you should include all of the elements that make up that list. It might be
useful to think of i.e. as representing an equal sign (=). This will help you remember that i.e.
stands for a strict equivalence.
Let’s look at some examples of how to use i.e. and e.g. correctly:
YES The rocky planets (e.g., Mercury) are closest to our sun.
NO The rocky planets (i.e., Mercury) are closest to our sun.
Mercury is not equivalent to the rocky planets-they’re not the same thing. Mercury is just one
example of a rocky planet, therefore e.g. is appropriate.
YES The rocky planets (i.e., Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars) are closest to our sun.
YES Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars (i.e., the rocky planets) are closest to our sun.
NO The rocky planets (e.g., Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars) are closest to our sun.
Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars are all of the examples of rocky planets in our solar system
(they are a full and complete list, not just a few examples), so e.g. should not be used. Instead,
use i.e. to show that the list of four planets is equivalent to the rocky planets-they refer to the
same thing. Notice that switching the rocky planets and Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars
doesn’t change the meaning of the sentence.
In some instances, i.e. and e.g. may both be acceptable, but using one or the other will
drastically change the meaning of the sentence. For example:
Farmer Brown sells his produce (e.g., apples, oranges, carrots) at the market.
Farmer Brown sells his produce (i.e., apples, oranges, carrots) at the market.
In the first sentence, the use of e.g. tells the reader that Farmer Brown sells many different
types of produce, including apples oranges and carrots. The information contained in the
parentheses provides a few examples to help clarify the meaning of produce. In the second
sentence, the use of i.e. tells the reader that Farmer Brown sells only apples, oranges and
carrots -nothing else. The information contained in the parentheses tells the reader that, as far
as Farmer Brown is concerned, apples, oranges and carrots are what constitute produce-they
are equivalent.
Other useful abbreviations
While etc., e.g. and i.e. are perhaps the most important Latin abbreviations for you to get

acquainted with, there are other less common abbreviations that you may find useful in certain
situations.
N.B.
The abbreviation N.B. stands for nota bene, which literally translates as “note well,” although in
practice you can read it as “pay attention.” It is used in endnotes or footnotes to call the
reader’s attention to a particularly important piece of information-such as a key assumption of
or exception to an argument-that is nevertheless not crucial enough to be included in the main
body of the paper. Also, notice that N.B. is the only Latin abbreviation that should be
capitalized.
Example: N.B.: While all of the study participants were interviewed about their prior
medical histories, researchers did not have access to their medical records to confirm the
accuracy of self-reported data.
cf.
The abbreviation cf. stands for the Latin word confer which means “compare.” It is primarily
used in endnotes or footnotes to point the reader to works that offer an argument which
contradicts or is otherwise different from the author’s argument. Therefore, it might be more
useful to read cf. as “but compare this to.” It is generally preceded by citations of works that
agree with the author’s argument and then followed by one or two examples of works that
disagree with or somehow differ from the argument. Although it is not strictly necessary to
explain how these works are different, you might find it useful to include a short phrase for the
benefit of your reader.
Example:
2. Jones 1992, Smith 2003; cf. on methodology Harris 2005.
sic
Although it is not an abbreviation, sic is included here because it is one of the more frequently
used Latin terms. The word sic means “thus” or “so” and is used in quotations to indicate that
any strange aspects of a piece of text, such as errors in of grammar, spelling, or word choice,
are part of the original text and not a typo. Therefore, it could be more appropriately translated
as “yes, that’s actually what it says.” Depending on the style you’re using, sic is italicized and
placed in brackets after the word or phrase it identifies (as in APA and Chicago), or it is simply
placed in parentheses after the entire quote (as in MLA). Consult the most recent edition of the
appropriate style handbook to ensure that you’re using the proper format.
versus (vs. or v.)
You have probably seen the term versus or one of its abbreviation, vs. or v., in the names of
court cases (for example, “Smith v. the State of North Carolina”). Versus translates as “against”
or “as opposed to.” Versus is used to express conflict or comparison. You may see it in the main

body of academic texts, in phrases such as “man versus nature,” “measured in kilograms
versus pounds,” or “protectionism versus free trade.” Versus and its abbreviations also appear
frequently in the titles of books and articles.
circa
Circa, which translates as “around” or “approximately,” usually appears with dates. You may
see it abbreviated as c. or ca. (or, more rarely, as cca. or cir.). It indicates that a number or
value is approximate, not exact. For example, you might see sentences like “the construction of
Stonehenge began circa 3000 BCE.” More rarely, you may see circa in reference to
measurements of amounts, such as “circa $45,000
or “c. 1.5 mL.” Your meaning will often be
clearer to readers if you stick with English in the main body of your text and save “c.” for things
in parentheses and notes. So, for example, you might write “the construction of Stonehenge
began around 3000 BCE” or “when Stonehenge began to be constructed (c. 3000 BCE).”
Citation shortcuts
The abbreviations in this section are used primarily in notes and bibliographic entries in order to
save space. It is important to understand these abbreviations not only so that you can correctly
interpret bibliographic citations, but also so that your citations can be accessible to your
readers.
et al.
The Latin abbreviation et al. stands for et alii which translates as “and other people.” It is like
etc., but it is used only for people. You will generally see et al. used in bibliographical entries
for books, articles, or other publications that have several authors (usually four or more) in
order to save space. In such cases, the name of the first author will be given in full and then
followed by et al. As with etc., there is no need to include ‘and’ before et al., but do notice that
unlike etc. there is a space (and no period) after et in this abbreviation.
ibid. and id.
The abbreviation ibid. stands for the Latin word ibidem, which means “in the same place.” It is
used in endnotes or footnotes when you cite the same source and page number(s) two or more
times. If you cite the same source but a different page number, you can use ibid. followed by a
comma and the page number(s). Also, note that ibid. is capitalized when it begins a note. For
example:
1. Barsby, 99-101.
2. Ibid.
3. Ibid., 97.
Although it is becoming less common, you may encounter the abbreviation id. used in a way
similar to ibid. The abbreviation id. stands for idem, which means “the same person.” It is used
in place of ibid. when the same author is cited but not the same page number. In such
 
instances, ibid. is only used to repeat the preceding citation exactly. For example:
1. Barsby, 99-101.
2. Ibid.
3. Id., 97.
passim
Like sic, passim is not an abbreviation, but it is included here as a Latin term commonly used to
save space in bibliographic entries. The Latin word passim means “here and there” or
“throughout.” It is used when a particular word, phrase or idea is not restricted to just a few
pages of a work, but occurs in many different places. Using passim is not a way to avoid
providing specific citations-instead, it indicates to the reader that the information being cited
occurs frequently in the work and that he/she may want to use the table of contents or index to
find specific examples.
Abbreviation obscurity
While you may occasionally encounter the following abbreviations in your academic career, they
are becoming increasingly rare. There is no need for you to attempt to incorporate them into
your own writing. Instead, use short English phrases; it will be easier for you to write and for
your reader to understand!
loc. cit. and op. cit.
The abbreviations loc. cit. and op. cit. are old forms used in bibliographic citations similar to
ibid. and id. above. The abbreviation loc. cit. stands for loco citato, which translates as “in the
place cited,” whereas op. cit. stands for opere citato which translates as “in the work cited.”
Generally, loc. cit. is used to refer to the same work and page number(s) as the previous
citation, while op. cit. refers only to the same work and may or may not be followed by page
numbers. In all modern style manuals, ibid. is preferred to loc. cit. and op. cit.
inf. and sup.
The abbreviations inf. and sup. stand for the words infra and supra, which translate as “below”
and “above” respectively. They are used to indicate that information will be more fully explained
or cited elsewhere. If the information has already appeared in an earlier note, sup. is used. If
the information will appear in a later note (where a more complete citation or explanation is
perhaps more appropriate), inf. is used. In general, you can replace both of these abbreviations
with “see below” and “see above” without any change in meaning.
viz. and sc.
The abbreviation viz. stands for the Latin contraction videlicet which translates literally as “it is
permitted to see,” but a more useful translation is “namely” or “that is to say.” It is used to
clarify something by elaborating on it, giving a detailed description of it, or providing a
complete list. In this sense, viz. is similar to i.e., although viz. tends to emphasize the precision
and exactness of what follows and is thus a stronger version of i.e. It is generally acceptable to
use i.e. instead of viz.

The similar abbreviation sc. stands for the Latin contraction scilicet which translates literally as
Modals
“it is permitted to know,” but a more useful translation is “namely” or “as if to say.” It is often
used to provide a clarification, remove an ambiguity, or supply an omitted word. Like viz., sc. is
a more specific version of i.e. and stresses the clarity of what follows. As with viz., it is
generally acceptable to use i.e. rather than sc.

q.v.
The abbreviation q.v. stands for quod vide, which translates literally as “which see,” although in
practice it means something more like “for which see elsewhere.” It is used in notes after a
word or phrase to indicate that more information can be found about the topic somewhere else
in the current work. Because q.v. is generally used in reference books or similar works, page
numbers are not included after it. The reader is expected to know how to locate this information
without further assistance. Since there is always the possibility that the reader won’t be able to
find the information cited by q.v., it’s better to use a simple English phrase such as “for more
on this topic, see pages 72-3
or “a detailed definition appears on page 16.” Such phrases are
immediately comprehensible to the reader (who may not even know what q.v. means) and
remove any ambiguity about where additional information is located.
Modal verbs (must, will, would, should, may, can, could, might, must) precede another verb.
Modals do not have subject-verb agreement or take the infinitive “to” before the next verb.
This handout shows how modals in academic writing can change a sentence’s meaning into a
prediction, suggestion, or a question. Modals can also serve a social function to show
uncertainty or politeness. They are especially common in discussion sections of research
papers.
How to use this handout
This handout is best used with a piece of writing that benefits from being subjective. Each
function alters a sentence’s perspective differently.

s.v. Logical possibility: expresses a degree of Necessity: expresses directness in attitude

probability
The abbreviation s.v. stands for sub verbo, which translates as “under the word.” It is used Before: Wash your hands before preparing
when citing a specific entry in a dictionary or encyclopedia. The word or phrase following the Before: This is the fastest way to drive to food.
abbreviation should correspond exactly to the heading in the dictionary or encyclopedia so that Westwood. After: You must wash your hands before
the reader can find the precise entry being indicated. Since s.v. is no longer recognizable to After: This might be the fastest way to preparing food.
most modern readers, it is better to use a simple English phrase such as “see the Oxford drive to Westwood.
Permission: shows politeness
English Dictionary; look under grape” or something similar.
Ability: shows capability
Before: I am going to your office hours.
We hope that this handout will be useful to you as you decipher the Latin terms and
Before: Riding the bus avoids traffic. After: Can I go to your office hours?
abbreviations in your reading and perhaps begin to use them in your own writing!
After: Riding the bus can avoid traffic.

Strength and Frequency of Modal Verbs

In academic writing, modal verbs are most frequently used to indicate logical possibility and
least frequently used to indicate permission. The nine modal verbs are listed under each of the
functions they can perform, and are ordered from strongest to weakest for each function.
Notice that the same modal can have different strengths when it’s used for different functions
(e.g., may or can).

Most frequent Least frequent

Logical Ability Necessity Permission

 
 possibility
STRONGEST must can
will/would could
should
may
can/could/might
weakest
Functions of Modal Verbs
This second table organizes examples of each modal by its use, also including an explanation.
Use Explanation of use
This use of modals hedges, or
Logical weakens, the certainty of a
possibility sentence. The stronger the
modal, the stronger the
possibility. Must is so strong
that it is almost forcing
something to happen. On the
opposite end, can, could, and
might are all equally weak
and show a lack of
commitment or confidence.
Strongest logical
possibility = most probable
(but still not guaranteed)
produce more favorable results.
must may might
should (as advice) could
can These factors might contribute to
the success of the project.
This use shows ability, which The literature can be organized by
Ability can
is binary, rather than date, author, or argument.
possibility, which falls on a
spectrum.
A person who could interpret the
could results assisted the researcher.
Strongest ability = most
direct
Modals Examples
Those clouds must mean that it will
must rain later. This use gives advice or A closer examination reveals that
Necessity must
makes a recommendation. the subject must be treated with
great care.
will As a result, the market will close
Strongest necessity = most Our findings suggest that health
earlier than usual today. should
direct care providers should strive to be
sensitive to the needs of their
would patients.
This naïve approach would not work
well everyday. This use asks or gives May I request a copy of the article
Permission permission in the form of a may that you published in 1999?
question. It almost never
should
Careful thought should be put into appears in published academic Could you get back to me by
writing, but frequently could Tuesday?
important decisions.
appears in academic
correspondence such as e-
may mails, proposals, or revisions.
This may ultimately lead to better can Can you elaborate on the
The strongest modal in this
outcomes. significance or contribution of this?
use, may, is the most polite
can and indirect, whereas can is
the more direct and slightly
Careless actions can lead to impolite.
disastrous results.
could
Strongest permission =
most polite
Changing these settings could
 

Passive Voice
This handout will help you understand what the passive voice is, why many professors and
writing instructors frown upon it, and how you can revise your paper to achieve greater clarity.
Some things here may surprise you. We hope this handout will help you to understand the
passive voice and allow you to make more informed choices as you write.
Myths
So what is the passive voice? First, let’s be clear on what the passive voice isn’t. Below, we’ll
list some common myths about the passive voice:
1. Use of the passive voice constitutes a grammatical error.
Use of the passive voice is not a grammatical error. It’s a stylistic issue that pertains to clarity—
that is, there are times when using the passive voice can prevent a reader from understanding
what you mean.
2. Any use of “to be” (in any form) constitutes the passive voice.
The passive voice entails more than just using a being verb. Using “to be” can weaken the
impact of your writing, but it is occasionally necessary and does not by itself constitute the
passive voice.
3. The passive voice always avoids the first person; if something is in first person (“I” or “we”) it’s also in
the active voice.
On the contrary, you can very easily use the passive voice in the first person. Here’s an
example: “I was hit by the dodgeball.”
4. You should never use the passive voice.
While the passive voice can weaken the clarity of your writing, there are times when the
passive voice is OK and even preferable.
5. I can rely on my grammar checker to catch the passive voice.
See Myth #1. Since the passive voice isn’t a grammar error, it’s not always caught. Typically,
grammar checkers catch only a fraction of passive voice usage.

Do any of these misunderstandings sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. That’s why we wrote
this handout. It discusses how to recognize the passive voice, when you should avoid it, and
when it’s OK.
Defining the passive voice
A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an action into the subject of a
sentence. That is, whoever or whatever is performing the action is not the grammatical subject
of the sentence. Take a look at this passive rephrasing of a familiar joke:
Why was the road crossed by the chicken?
Who is doing the action in this sentence? The chicken is the one doing the action in this
sentence, but the chicken is not in the spot where you would expect the grammatical subject to
be. Instead, the road is the grammatical subject. The more familiar phrasing (why did the
chicken cross the road?) puts the actor in the subject position, the position of doing something
—the chicken (the actor/doer) crosses the road (the object). We use active verbs to represent
that “doing,” whether it be crossing roads, proposing ideas, making arguments, or invading
houses (more on that shortly).
Once you know what to look for, passive constructions are easy to spot. Look for a form of “to
be” (is, are, am , was, were, has been, have been, had been, will be, will have been, being)
followed by a past participle. (The past participle is a form of the verb that typically, but not
always, ends in “-ed.” Some exceptions to the “-ed” rule are words like “paid” (not “payed”)
and “driven.” (not “drived”). Here’s a sure-fire formula for identifying the passive voice:
form of “to be” + past participle = passive voice
For example:
The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon’s fiery breath.
When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think of ways to delay her remarriage.
Not every sentence that contains a form of “have” or “be” is passive! Forms of the word
“have” can do several different things in English. For example, in the sentence “John has to
study all afternoon,” “has” is not part of a past-tense verb. It’s a modal verb, like “must,”
“can,” or “may”—these verbs tell how necessary it is to do something (compare “I have to
study” versus “I may study”). And forms of “be” are not always passive, either—”be” can be the
main verb of a sentence that describes a state of being, rather than an action. For example, the
sentence “John is a good student” is not passive; “is” is simply describing John’s state of being.
The moral of the story: don’t assume that any time you see a form of “have” and a form of “to
be” together, you are looking at a passive sentence.
Need more help deciding whether a sentence is passive? Ask yourself whether there is an action
going on in the sentence. If so, what is at the front of the sentence? Is it the person or thing

that does the action? Or is it the person or thing that has the action done to it? In a passive
sentence, the object of the action will be in the subject position at the front of the sentence. As
discussed above, the sentence will also contain a form of be and a past participle. If the subject
appears at all, it will usually be at the end of the sentence, often in a phrase that starts with
“by.” Take a look at this example:
The fish was caught by the seagull.
If we ask ourselves whether there’s an action, the answer is yes: a fish is being caught. If we
ask what’s at the front of the sentece, the actor or the object of the action, it’s the object: the
fish, unfortunately for it, got caught, and there it is at the front of the sentence. The thing that
did the catching—the seagull—is at the end, after “by.” There’s a form of be (was) and a past
participle (caught). This sentence is passive.
Let’s briefly look at how to change passive constructions into active ones. You can usually just
switch the word order, making the actor and subject one by putting the actor up front:
The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon’s fiery breath.
becomes
The dragon scorched the metropolis with his fiery breath.
When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think of ways to delay her remarriage.
becomes
After suitors invaded her house, Penelope had to think of ways to delay her remarriage.
To repeat, the key to identifying the passive voice is to look for both a form of “to be” and a
past participle, which usually, but not always, ends in “-ed.”
Clarity and meaning
The primary reason why your instructors frown on the passive voice is that they often have to
guess what you mean. Sometimes, the confusion is minor. Let’s look again at that sentence
from a student’s paper on Homer’s The Odyssey:
When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think of ways to delay her remarriage.
Like many passive constructions, this sentence lacks explicit reference to the actor—it doesn’t
tell the reader who or what invaded Penelope’s house. The active voice clarifies things:
After suitors invaded Penelope’s house, she had to think of ways to fend them off.
Thus many instructors—the readers making sense of your writing—prefer that you use the
active voice. They want you to specify who or what is doing the action. Compare the following
two examples from an anthropology paper on a Laotian village to see if you agree.

(passive) A new system of drug control laws was set up. (By whom?)
(active) The Lao People’s Revolutionary Party set up a new system of drug control laws.
Here’s another example, from the same paper, that illustrates the lack of precision that can
accompany the passive voice:
Gender training was conducted in six villages, thus affecting social relationships.
And a few pages later:
Plus, marketing links were being established.
In both paragraphs, the writer never specifies the actors for those two actions (Who did the
gender training? Who established marketing links?). Thus the reader has trouble appreciating
the dynamics of these social interactions, which depend upon the actors conducting and
establishing these things.
The following example, once again from that paper on The Odyssey, typifies another instance
where an instructor might desire more precision and clarity:
Although Penelope shares heroic characteristics with her husband, Odysseus, she
is not considered a hero.
Who does not consider Penelope a hero? It’s difficult to tell, but the rest of that paragraph
suggests that the student does not consider Penelope a hero (the topic of the paper). The
reader might also conceivably think that the student is referring to critics, scholars, or modern
readers of The Odyssey. One might argue that the meaning comes through here—the problem
is merely stylistic. Yet style affects how your reader understands your argument and content.
Awkward or unclear style prevents your reader from appreciating the ideas that are so clear to
you when you write. Thus knowing how your reader might react enables you to make more
effective choices when you revise. So after you identify instances of the passive, you should
consider whether your use of the passive inhibits clear understanding of what you mean.
Summarizing history or literary plots with the passive voice: don’t be a lazy thinker or writer!
With the previous section in mind, you should also know that some instructors proclaim that the
passive voice signals sloppy, lazy thinking. These instructors argue that writers who overuse
the passive voice have not fully thought through what they are discussing and that this makes
for imprecise arguments. Consider these sentences from papers on American history:
The working class was marginalized.
African Americans were discriminated against.
Women were not treated as equals.
Such sentences lack the precision and connection to context and causes that mark rigorous
thinking. The reader learns little about the systems, conditions, human decisions, and

contradictions that produced these groups’ experiences of oppression. And so the reader—the
instructor—questions the writer’s understanding of these things.
It is especially important to be sure that your thesis statement is clear and precise, so think
twice before using the passive voice in your thesis.
In papers where you discuss the work of an author—e.g., a historian or writer of literature—you
can also strengthen your writing by not relying on the passive as a crutch when summarizing
plots or arguments. Instead of writing
It is argued that…
or Tom and Huck are portrayed as…
or And then the link between X and Y is made, showing that…
you can heighten the level of your analysis by explicitly connecting an author with these
statements:
Anderson argues that…
Twain portrays Tom and Huck as…
Ishiguro draws a link between X and Y to show that…
By avoiding passive constructions in these situations, you can demonstrate a more thorough
understanding of the material you discuss.
Scientific writing
All this advice works for papers in the humanities, you might note—but what about technical or
scientific papers, including lab reports? Many instructors recommend or even require the
passive voice in such writing. The rationale for using the passive voice in scientific writing is
that it achieves “an objective tone”—for example, by avoiding the first person. To consider
scientific writing, let’s break it up into two main types: lab reports and writing about a scientific
topic or literature.
Lab reports
Although more and more scientific journals accept or even prefer first-person active voice (e.g.,
“then we sequenced the human genome”), some of your instructors may want you to remove
yourself from your lab report by using the passive voice (e.g., “then the human genome was
sequenced” rather than “then we sequenced the human genome”). Such advice particularly
applies to the section on Materials and Methods, where a procedure “is followed.” (For a fuller
discussion on writing lab reports, see our handout on writing lab reports.)
While you might employ the passive voice to retain objectivity, you can still use active
constructions in some instances and retain your objective stance. Thus it’s useful to keep in
mind the sort of active verbs you might use in lab reports. Examples include: support, indicate,
suggest, correspond, challenge, yield, show.
 
Thus instead of writing
A number of things are indicated by these results.
you could write
These results indicate a number of things.
or Further analysis showed/suggested/yielded…
Ultimately, you should find out your instructor’s preference regarding your use of the passive in
lab reports.
Writing about scientific topics
In some assignments, rather than reporting the results of your own scientific work, you will be
writing about the work of other scientists. Such assignments might include literature reviews
and research reports on scientific topics. You have two main possible tasks in these
assignments: reporting what other people have done (their research or experiments) or
indicating general scientific knowledge (the body of knowledge coming out of others’ research).
Often the two go together. In both instances, you can easily use active constructions even
though you might be tempted by the passive—especially if you’re used to writing your own lab
reports in the passive.
You decide: Which of these two examples is clearer?
Heart disease is considered the leading cause of death in the United States. (passive)
or Research points to heart disease as the leading cause of death in the United States.(active)
Alternatively, you could write this sentence with human actors:
Researchers have concluded that heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United
States.
The last two sentences illustrate a relationship that the first one lacks. The first example does
not tell who or what leads us to accept this conclusion about heart disease.
Here’s one last example from a report that describes angioplasty. Which sounds better to you?
The balloon is positioned in an area of blockage and is inflated.
or The surgeon positions the balloon in an area of blockage and inflates it.
You can improve your scientific writing by relying less on the passive. The advice we’ve given
for papers on history or literature equally applies to papers in more “scientific” courses. No
matter what field you’re writing in, when you use the passive voice, you risk conveying to your
reader a sense of uncertainty and imprecision regarding your writing and thinking. The key is to
know when your instructor wants you to use the passive voice. For a more general discussion of
writing in the sciences, see our handout.
“Swindles and perversions”
Before we discuss a few instances when the passive might be preferable, we should mention
one of the more political uses of the passive: to hide blame or obscure responsibility. You
wouldn’t do this, but you can learn how to become a critic of those who exhibit what George
Orwell included among the “swindles and perversions” of writing. For example:
Mistakes were made.
The Exxon Company accepts that a few gallons might have been spilled.
By becoming critically aware of how others use language to shape clarity and meaning, you can
learn how better to revise your own work. Keep Orwell’s swindles and perversions in mind as
you read other writers. Because it’s easy to leave the actor out of passive sentences, some
people use the passive voice to avoid mentioning who is responsible for certain actions.
So when is it OK to use the passive?
Sometimes the passive voice is the best choice. Here are a few instances when the passive
voice is quite useful:
1. To emphasize an object.Take a look at this example:
100 votes are required to pass the bill.
This passive sentence emphasizes the number of votes required. An active version of the
sentence (“The bill requires 100 votes to pass”) would put the emphasis on the bill, which may
be less dramatic.
2. To de-emphasize an unknown subject/actor. Consider this example:
Over 120 different contaminants have been dumped into the river.
If you don’t know who the actor is—in this case, if you don’t actually know who dumped all of
those contaminants in the river—then you may need to write in the passive. But remember, if
you do know the actor, and if the clarity and meaning of your writing would benefit from
indicating him/her/it/them, then use an active construction. Yet consider the third case.
3. If your readers don’t need to know who’s responsible for the action.
Here’s where your choice can be difficult; some instances are less clear than others. Try to put
yourself in your reader’s position to anticipate how he/she will react to the way you have
phrased your thoughts. Here are two examples:
Baby Sophia was delivered at 3:30 a.m. yesterday.(passive)
and
Dr. Susan Jones delivered baby Sophia at 3:30 a.m. yesterday.(active)

The first sentence might be more appropriate in a birth announcement sent to family and
friends—they are not likely to know Dr. Jones and are much more interested in the “object”(the
baby) than in the actor (the doctor). A hospital report of yesterday’s events might be more
likely to focus on Dr. Jones’ role.
Summary of strategies
Identify
Look for the passive voice: “to be” + a past participle (usually, but not always, ending in “-
ed”)
If you don’t see both components, move on.
Does the sentence describe an action? If so, where is the actor? Is he/she/it in the
grammatical subject position (at the front of the sentence) or in the object position (at the
end of the sentence, or missing entirely)?
Does the sentence end with “by…”? Many passive sentences include the actor at the end of
the sentence in a “by” phrase, like “The ball was hit by the player” or “The shoe was
chewed up by the dog.” “By” by itself isn’t a conclusive sign of the passive voice, but it can
prompt you to take a closer look.
Evaluate
Is the doer/actor indicated? Should you indicate him/her/it?
Does it really matter who’s responsible for the action?
Would your reader ask you to clarify a sentence because of an issue related to your use of
the passive?
Do you use a passive construction in your thesis statement?
Do you use the passive as a crutch in summarizing a plot or history, or in describing
something?
Do you want to emphasize the object?
Revise
If you decide that your sentence would be clearer in the active voice, switch the sentence
around to make the subject and actor one. Put the actor (the one doing the action of the
sentence) in front of the verb.
Towards active thinking and writing
We encourage you to keep these tips in mind as you revise. While you may be able to employ
this advice as you write your first draft, that’s not necessarily always possible. In writing, clarity
often comes when you revise, not on your first try. Don’t worry about the passive if that stress
inhibits you in getting your ideas down on paper. But do look for it when you revise. Actively
make choices about its proper place in your writing. There is nothing grammatically or
otherwise “wrong” about using the passive voice. The key is to recognize when you should,

when you shouldn’t, and when your instructor just doesn’t want you to. These choices are
yours. We hope this handout helps you to make them.
Works consulted and suggested reading
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
Anson, Chris M. and Robert A. Schwegler. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers.
Second edition. (2000). Pages 118-120; 270-272; 262-64; 369-71; 448.
Baron, Dennis. “The Passive Voice Can Be Your Friend,” Declining Grammar and Other Essays
On the English Vocabulary (Urbana: NCTE, 1989), pages 17-22.
Hjortshoj, Keith. The Transition to College Writing. (2001). Pages 119-121.
Lanham, Richard. Revising Prose. Fourth edition. (2000).
Orwell, George. Politics and the English Language. (1946).
Rosen, Leonard J. and Laurence Behrens. The Allyn & Bacon Handbook. Third edition. (1997).
Pages 240-243; 326-327; 340-344.
Strunk and White. The Elements of Style. Third edition. (1979). Pages 18-19.
Trimble, John R. Writing with Style. Upper Saddle River, N.J. : Prentice Hall. (2000). Pages 55-
58.
Williams, Joseph. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace. Sixth edition. (2000). Chapter 3 and
pages 70ff.

Plagiarism
This handout explains what plagiarism is and outlines steps students can follow to avoid
plagiarizing.
What is plagiarism?
At plagiarism is defined as “the deliberate or reckless representation of another’s words,
thoughts, or ideas as one’s own without attribution in connection with submission of academic
work, whether graded or otherwise.” (Instrument of Student Judicial Governance, Section
II.B.1.). Because it is considered a form of cheating, the Office of the Dean of Students can
punish students who plagiarize with course failure and suspension. Full information can be
found on the Honor System page.
Why are my instructors so concerned about plagiarism?
In order to understand plagiarism, it helps to understand the process of sharing and creating
ideas in the university. All knowledge is built from previous knowledge. As we read, study,
perform experiments, and gather perspectives, we are drawing on other people’s ideas. Building
on their ideas and experiences, we create our own. When you put your ideas on paper, your
instructors want to distinguish between the building block ideas borrowed from other people
and your own newly reasoned perspectives or conclusions. You make these distinctions in a
written paper by citing the sources for your building block ideas. Providing appropriate citations
will also help readers who are interested in your topic find additional, related material to read—
in this way, they will be able to build on the work you have done to find sources.
Think of it this way: in the vast majority of assignments you’ll get in college, your instructors
will ask you to read something (think of this material as the building blocks) and then write a
paper in which you analyze one or more aspects of what you have read (think of this as the
new structure you build). Essentially, your instructors are asking you to do three things:
Show that you have a clear understanding of the material you’ve read.
Refer to your sources to support the ideas you have developed.
Distinguish your analysis of what you’ve read from the authors’ analyses.
When you cite a source, you are using an expert’s ideas as proof or evidence of a new idea that
you are trying to communicate to the reader.

What about “common knowledge”?
In every professional field, experts consider some ideas “common knowledge,” but remember
that you’re not a professional (yet). In fact, you’re just learning about those concepts in the
course you’re taking, so the material you are reading may not yet be “common knowledge” to
you. In order to decide if the material you want to use in your paper constitutes “common
knowledge,” you may find it helpful to ask yourself the following questions:
Did I know this information before I took this course?
Did this information/idea come from my own brain?
If you answer “no” to either or both of these questions, then the information is not “common
knowledge” to you. In these cases, you need to cite your source(s) and indicate where you first
learned this bit of what may be “common knowledge” in the field.
What about paraphrasing?
Paraphrasing means taking another person’s ideas and putting those ideas in your own words.
Paraphrasing does NOT mean changing a word or two in someone else’s sentence, changing the
sentence structure while maintaining the original words, or changing a few words to synonyms.
If you are tempted to rearrange a sentence in any of these ways, you are writing too close to
the original. That’s plagiarizing, not paraphrasing.
Paraphrasing is a fine way to use another person’s ideas to support your argument as long as
you attribute the material to the author and cite the source in the text at the end of the
sentence. In order to make sure you are paraphrasing in the first place, take notes from your
reading with the book closed. Doing so will make it easier to put the ideas in your own words.
When you are unsure if you are writing too close to the original, check with your instructor
BEFORE you turn in the paper for a grade. So, just to be clear—do you need to cite when you
paraphrase? Yes, you do!
How can I avoid plagiarizing?
Now that you understand what plagiarism is, you’re ready to employ the following three simple
steps to avoid plagiarizing in your written work.
Step 1: Accentuate the positive. Change your attitude about using citations.
Do you feel that you use too many citations? Too few? Many students worry that if they use too
many citations their instructors will think that they’re relying too heavily on the source material
and therefore not thinking for themselves. In fact, however, using citations allows you to
demonstrate clearly how well you understand the course material while also making clear
distinctions between what the authors have to say and your analysis of their ideas.
Thus, rather than making your paper look less intellectually sophisticated, using citations allows

you to show off your understanding of the material and the assignment. And instead of showing
what you don’t know, citing your sources provides evidence of what you do know and of the
authority behind your knowledge. Just make sure that your paper has a point, main idea, or
thesis that is your own and that you organize the source material around that point.
Are you worried that you have too few citations? Double-check your assignment to see if you
have been given any indication of the number or kind of source materials expected. Then share
your writing with another reader. Do you have enough evidence or proof to support the ideas
you put forward? Why should the reader believe the points you have made? Would adding
another, expert voice strengthen your argument? Who else agrees or disagrees with the ideas
you have written? Have you paraphrased ideas that you have read or heard? If so, you need to
cite them. Have you referred to or relied on course material to develop your ideas? If so, you
need to cite it as well.
Step 2: How can I keep track of all this information? Improve your note-taking skills.
Once you’ve reconsidered your position on using citations, you need to rethink your note-taking
practices. Taking careful notes is simply the best way to avoid plagiarism. And improving your
note-taking skills will also allow you to refine your critical thinking skills. Here’s how the process
works:
(1) Start by carefully noting all the bibliographic information you’ll need for your works cited
page. (See #3 for more details on how to determine exactly what information you’ll need for
different kinds of sources.) If you’re photocopying an article or section out of a book or journal,
why not photocopy the front pages of the source as well? That way you’ll have the bibliographic
information if you need it later. If you forget to gather the information for a book, you can
usually get it from the library’s online card catalogue. Simply pull up the entry for the book you
used to see the bibliographic information on that source. If you’re working on an article from a
journal, you can return to the database from which you got the original citation to find the
bibliographic information.
(2) Next, try thinking about your notes as a kind of transitional space between what you’ve
read and what you’re preparing to write. Imagine yourself having a conversation with the
author of the story/novel/play/poem/article/book you’re reading, in which you repeatedly ask
yourself the following questions:
What is the author trying to explain?
Why does s/he think these points are important?
How has s/he decided to construct the argument?
How does the structure of the argument affect the reader’s response to the author’s ideas?
How effective is the author’s argument?
Adopting this “conversational” approach to note-taking will improve your analysis of the
material by leading you to notice not just what the author says, but also how and why the
author communicates his or her ideas. This strategy will also help you avoid the very common

temptation of thinking that the author’s way of explaining something is much better than
anything you could write. If you are tempted to borrow the author’s language, write your notes
with the book closed to ensure that you are putting the ideas into your own words. If you’ve
already taken a step away from the author’s words in your notes, you’ll find it easier to use
your own words in the paper you write.
(3) Finally, be careful to use quotation marks to distinguish the exact words used by the author
from your own words so that when you return to your notes later in the writing process, you
won’t have to guess which ideas are yours and which ones came directly from the text. You’ll
have to experiment with different note-taking techniques until you find the one that works best
for you, but here’s one example of how your notes might look:
James Leoni, trans. Ten Books on Architecture by Leone Battista Alberti. London: Alec
Tirani, Ltd., 1955.
BOOK I, CHAPTER X: “Of the Columns and Walls, and Some Observations Relating to
the Columns”
(p. 14) Alberti begins by talking about walls, and then says a row of columns is simply “a
Wall open and discontinued in several Places;” he says the column supports the roof, and
that columns are the most beautiful of the architectural elements; here, he’ll address what
columns have in common, and later he’ll discuss their differences.
(p. 14) all columns rest on a plinth (or dye), which supports a base, which supports the
column, which is topped by a capital; columns are usually widest at the base, and taper
toward the top; Alberti says the column was invented simply to hold up the roof, but men
sought to make their buildings “immortal and eternal,” so they embellished columns with
architraves, entablatures, etc.
Notice that you can adapt this note-taking strategy to any format—whether you prefer to take
notes by hand, on note cards, on your computer, or some other way. For more information on
developing an effective note-taking technique, you can consult any grammar handbook. Here
are a few particularly helpful ones:
Leonard J. Rosen and Laurence Behren. The Allyn & Bacon Handbook. Boston: Allyn &
Bacon, 2000. OR Allyn & Bacon online at: www.abacon.com
Joseph Gibaldi. MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers. New York: The Modern
Language Association of America, 2003.
Kate L. Turabian. A Manual for Writers of Term Papers, Theses, and Dissertations. Chicago:
University of Chicago Press, 1996.
Step 3: So many details, so little time! Locate the appropriate style manual.
Don’t worry—no one can remember all the different citation conventions used in all the different
university disciplines! Citing your sources appropriately is a matter of:

1. determining which style your instructor wants you to use,
2. finding the appropriate style manual, and
3. copying the “formula” it gives for each type of source you use.
First, carefully read the assignment to determine what citation style your instructor wants you
to use (APA, MLA, Chicago, and CSE are the most common). If s/he doesn’t specify a citation
style in the assignment, check your syllabus, coursepack, and/or Blackboard site. If you can’t
find the citation style in any of those places, ask your instructor what style s/he prefers.
Second, academic citation styles follow specific formats, so making an educated guess about
how to structure your citations and works cited page is usually not a good idea. Instead, find
the specified style manual in the reference section of the library, on the reference shelf in the
Writing Center, or online.
Finally, style manuals provide easy-to-follow formulas for your citations. For example, the MLA
handbook provides the following format for citing a book by a single author:
Author’s name. Title of the book. Publication information.
You can use this formula for your own citation by simply plugging in the information called for,
following the format of the formula itself. Here’s an example of how that might look:
Berlage, Gai Ingham. Women in Baseball: The Forgotten History. Westport: Greenwood, 1994.
If you’d like more information on citation styles, see the Libraries citation tutorial.
How can I tell whether I’ve plagiarized?
If you’ve followed the above guidelines but still aren’t sure whether you’ve plagiarized, you can
double-check your work using the checklist below.
You need to cite your source, even if:
1. you put all direct quotes in quotation marks.
2. you changed the words used by the author into synonyms.
3. you completely paraphrased the ideas to which you referred.
4. your sentence is mostly made up of your own thoughts, but contains a reference to the
author’s ideas.
5. you mention the author’s name in the sentence.
**The moral of this handout: When in doubt, give a citation**
Where can I look for more information on UNC’s policies regarding plagiarism?
If you’re interested in exactly how plagiarism is defined for the community, see the Honor
System webpage. Because it is considered a form of academic cheating and constitutes a

serious violation of the University’s Honor Code, the usual punishment for a student found
guilty of plagiarizing is suspension for one semester and an “F” in the course.
Works consulted/cited
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
Alberti, Leone Battista. Ten Books on Architecture. James Leoni, trans. London: Alec Tirani,
Ltd., 1955.
Leonard J. Rosen and Laurence Behren. The Allyn & Bacon Handbook. Boston: Allyn & Bacon,
2000. OR Allyn & Bacon online at: www.abacon.com
Joseph Gibaldi. MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers. New York: The Modern Language
Association of America, 2003.
Kate L. Turabian. A Manual for Writers of Term Papers, Theses, and Dissertations. Chicago:
University of Chicago Press, 1996.
 
Qualifiers
This handout will explain what qualifiers are and how you can use them wisely.
Introduction
Qualifiers and intensifiers are words or phrases that are added to another word to modify its
meaning, either by limiting it (He was somewhat busy) or by enhancing it (The dog was very
cute). Qualifiers can play an important role in your writing, giving your reader clues about how
confident you feel about the information you’re presenting. In fact, “hedging” (as it is
sometimes called) is an important feature of academic writing, because academic writers need
to clearly indicate whether they think claims are certain, likely, unlikely, or just false. But
excessive use of qualifiers can make you sound unsure of your facts; it can also make your
writing too informal.
Qualifiers can be your friends
Qualifiers are often necessary, such as when your evidence or your claim is open to doubt. In
such cases, using a qualifier allows you to present your findings with what we can call
“confident uncertainty,” which reflects a need to be cautious and critical about the data you’re
presenting. Sometimes you may be required to present your ideas before you have had a
chance to fully interpret your research findings. At other times, you may want to remind
readers of the limitations of your particular research.
Here are some words and phrases that can help you indicate uncertainty:
Appears
Seems
Suggests
Indicates
It’s also very important to distinguish between absolute or universal claims (in which
you are asserting that something is true always and everywhere) and more particular
claims (in which you are asserting something but recognizing that your claim has
limits). Let’s take a look at some absolute words and some more qualified alternatives:
ABSOLUTE QUALIFIED
 Will May, might, could above):

Forms of “be” (am, is, are, May be, might have been, may have been Basically
was, were) Essentially
All Many, most, some, numerous, countless, a majority Generally
Every (Same as “all”) Kind of
Mostly
None/no Few, not many, a small number, hardly any, a minority
Pretty
Always Often, frequently, commonly, for a long time, usually,
Rather
sometimes, repeatedly
Slightly
Never Rarely, infrequently, sporadically, seldom
Somewhat
Certainly Probably, possibly Sort of
Impossible Unlikely, improbable, doubtful Various
Virtually
How much doubt do you want to create?
Qualifiers and your writing style

In most academic writing, you make an argument to support a thesis. To make a strong
argument, you’ll need to convince readers of your points. Consider these two sentences:
President Nixon probably resigned as a result of the Watergate cover-up.
President Nixon resigned as a result of the Watergate cover-up.
Writing that contains too many qualifiers can sound unclear and wordy. We often rely on
qualifiers—especially intensifiers—because we either don’t know or don’t take the time to find
the appropriate word. Instead we construct our meaning by employing a not-quite-right word
with a qualifier added to strengthen or to tone down a noun or verb.

The first sentence makes your reader doubt the conclusion you’ve arrived at; the latter Anna Karenina is a somewhat admirable character.
sentence leaves no doubt about your argument for the causes of Nixon’s resignation. How can Better: Anna Karenina is a sympathetic character.
you know which sentence to choose? You’ll need to think about the impact your choices will
have on your reader. December is Moscow is really cold.
Better: December in Moscow is freezing.
Qualifiers express doubt; they leave your reader wondering if you know what you’re talking
about. Constructions like it appears that and it seems likely that diminish the strength of your The theme of community is very important in Russian literature.
claims. Sometimes that’s exactly what you want, when you don’t want to overstate your case Better: The theme of community is central in Russian literature.
and cannot justify making a stronger, more direct claim. But if you are confident of your
In each of the above examples, the second sentence employs a word with a more precise
evidence, using strong qualifiers like these can lead your reader to doubt whether you know
meaning and is more concise.
what you are talking about or to think that you are not willing to take responsibility for your
ideas. “She was very happy” doesn’t capture the nuances that can be expressed by “overjoyed,”
“thrilled,” or “ecstatic.”
Consider the two examples below. Does the writer sound confident in her understanding of the
theories of Freud and Weber? Pay special attention to these commonly overused intensifiers:

It appears that Freud believed the unconscious played a significant role in behavior. A lot
Max Weber seems to argue that capitalism arises partly out of Protestant values. Really
Very
Does Freud in fact think that the unconscious affects people’s behavior? Does Weber really
think capitalism arises from Protestant values? If so, the writer should probably just make those
The qualifier habit
claims, without the qualifiers.

Here are some examples of words to keep an eye on (in addition to the qualifiers already listed Using lots of qualifiers can become a habit. Sometimes it carries over from the way you speak—

 
perhaps you are a dramatic storyteller who uses lots of intensifiers to express your strong
feelings. Sometimes it reflects your relationship to writing, or to your readers—perhaps you feel
that you are a “bad writer” and cannot write with confidence, or perhaps you are writing for an
intimidating audience, and you are using qualifiers to make your claims as humble as possible
in hopes of avoiding criticism or disagreement. While you can certainly compensate for a habit
of overusing qualifiers by adding another stage to your editing process (as we’ll discuss in a
moment), it may also be worth thinking about how to change your attitudes and practices. If
you are using qualifiers to try to create interest and drama, perhaps you could explore other
strategies that would be more appropriate for academic writing, like using stronger verbs and
including more interesting details. If you are using qualifiers because of a lack of confidence,
ask yourself: do I need to do more research to feel confident of my claims? Do I need to talk
with my regular readers and let them know more about the kinds of feedback that are, and are
not, helpful for me? Do I need to practice getting feedback from some “friendly” readers in
order to feel more comfortable with that aspect of the writing process?
Strategies
Suppose you’ve realized that you use the words on the above lists too often and have resolved
to cut back. But how? One method is to read through your paper and circle all the adverbs and
adjectives. Then examine each one and see whether it accurately and concisely conveys your
intended meaning.
It proved to be very hard to overturn Plessy v. Ferguson
Better: It proved to be difficult to overturn Plessy v. Ferguson
In recent years the Electoral College has become very controversial
Better: In recent years the Electoral College has become controversial.
The House Ways and Means Committee is basically one of the most powerful
Congressional committees.
Better: The House Ways and Means Committee is one of the most powerful
Congressional committees.
We hope that this handout will help you make confident, appropriate choices about using
qualifiers in your writing!

Quotations
Used effectively, quotations can provide important pieces of evidence and lend fresh voices and
perspectives to your narrative. Used ineffectively, however, quotations clutter your text and
interrupt the flow of your argument. This handout will help you decide when and how to quote
like a pro.
When should I quote?
Use quotations at strategically selected moments. You have probably been told by teachers to
provide as much evidence as possible in support of your thesis. But packing your paper with
quotations will not necessarily strengthen your argument. The majority of your paper should
still be your original ideas in your own words (after all, it’s your paper). And quotations are only
one type of evidence: well-balanced papers may also make use of paraphrases, data, and
statistics. The types of evidence you use will depend in part on the conventions of the discipline
or audience for which you are writing. For example, papers analyzing literature may rely heavily
on direct quotations of the text, while papers in the social sciences may have more
paraphrasing, data, and statistics than quotations.
1. Discussing specific arguments or ideas.
Sometimes, in order to have a clear, accurate discussion of the ideas of others, you need to
quote those ideas word for word. Suppose you want to challenge the following statement made
by John Doe, a well-known historian:
“At the beginning of World War Two, almost all Americans assumed the war would end quickly.”
If it is especially important that you formulate a counterargument to this claim, then you might
wish to quote the part of the statement that you find questionable and establish a dialogue
between yourself and John Doe:
Historian John Doe has argued that in 1941 “almost all Americans assumed the war would end
quickly” (Doe 223). Yet during the first six months of U.S. involvement, the wives and mothers
of soldiers often noted in their diaries their fear that the war would drag on for years.
2. Giving added emphasis to a particularly authoritative source on your topic.
There will be times when you want to highlight the words of a particularly important and

authoritative source on your topic. For example, suppose you were writing an essay about the guidelines for setting up and following up quotations.
differences between the lives of male and female slaves in the U.S. South. One of your most
provocative sources is a narrative written by a former slave, Harriet Jacobs. It would then be In illustrating these four steps, we’ll use as our example, Franklin Roosevelt’s famous quotation,
appropriate to quote some of Jacobs’s words: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

1. Provide a context for each quotation.

Harriet Jacobs, a former slave from North Carolina, published an autobiographical slave
narrative in 1861. She exposed the hardships of both male and female slaves but ultimately
Do not rely on quotations to tell your story for you. It is your responsibility to provide your
concluded that “slavery is terrible for men; but it is far more terrible for women.”
reader with a context for the quotation. The context should set the basic scene for when,
In this particular example, Jacobs is providing a crucial first-hand perspective on slavery. Thus, possibly where, and under what circumstances the quotation was spoken or written. So, in
her words deserve more exposure than a paraphrase could provide. providing a context for our above example, you might write:

Jacobs is quoted in Harriet A. Jacobs, Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, ed. Jean Fagan Yellin When Franklin Roosevelt gave his inaugural speech on March 4, 1933, he addressed a nation
(Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1987). weakened and demoralized by economic depression.

2. Attribute each quotation to its source.

3. Analyzing how others use language.

This scenario is probably most common in literature and linguistics courses, but you might also Tell your reader who is speaking. Here is a good test: try reading your text aloud. Could your
find yourself writing about the use of language in history and social science classes. If the use reader determine without looking at your paper where your quotations begin? If not, you need
of language is your primary topic, then you will obviously need to quote users of that language. to attribute the quote more noticeably.

Examples of topics that might require the frequent use of quotations include: Avoid getting into the “he/she said” attribution rut! There are many other ways to attribute
quotes besides this construction. Here are a few alternative verbs, usually followed by “that”:
Southern colloquial expressions in William Faulkner’s Light in August
add remark exclaim
Ms. and the creation of a language of female empowerment announce reply state

A comparison of three British poets and their use of rhyme comment respond estimate
write point out predict
4. Spicing up your prose.
argue suggest propose
In order to lend variety to your prose, you may wish to quote a source with particularly vivid declare criticize proclaim
language. All quotations, however, must closely relate to your topic and arguments. Do not note complain opine
insert a quotation solely for its literary merits. observe think note

One example of a quotation that adds flair:
Calvin Coolidge’s tendency to fall asleep became legendary. As H. L. Mencken commented in
the American Mercury in 1933, “Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored.”
How do I set up and follow up a quotation?
Once you’ve carefully selected the quotations that you want to use, your next job is to weave
those quotations into your text. The words that precede and follow a quotation are just as
important as the quotation itself. You can think of each quote as the filling in a sandwich: it
may be tasty on its own, but it’s messy to eat without some bread on either side of it. Your
words can serve as the “bread” that helps readers digest each quote easily. Below are four
Different reporting verbs are preferred by different disciplines, so pay special attention to these
in your disciplinary reading. If you’re unfamiliar with the meanings of any of these words or
others you find in your reading, consult a dictionary before using them.
3. Explain the significance of the quotation.
Once you’ve inserted your quotation, along with its context and attribution, don’t stop! Your
reader still needs your assessment of why the quotation holds significance for your paper. Using
our Roosevelt example, if you were writing a paper on the first one-hundred days of FDR’s
administration, you might follow the quotation by linking it to that topic:
With that message of hope and confidence, the new president set the stage for his next one-
hundred days in office and helped restore the faith of the American people in their government.

 
4. Provide a citation for the quotation.
All quotations, just like all paraphrases, require a formal citation. For more details about
particular citation formats, see the Libraries citation tutorial. In general, you should
remember one rule of thumb: Place the parenthetical reference or footnote/endnote number
after—not within—the closed quotation mark.
Roosevelt declared, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” (Roosevelt, Public Papers 11).
Roosevelt declared, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”1
How do I embed a quote into a sentence?
In general, avoid leaving quotes as sentences unto themselves. Even if you have provided
some context for the quote, a quote standing alone can disrupt your flow. Take a look at this
example:
Hamlet denies Rosencrantz’s claim that thwarted ambition caused his depression. “I could
be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space” (Hamlet 2.2).
Standing by itself, the quote’s connection to the preceding sentence is unclear. There are
several ways to incorporate a quote more smoothly.
1) Lead into the quote with a colon.
Hamlet denies Rosencrantz’s claim that thwarted ambition caused his depression: “I could
be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space” (Hamlet 2.2).
The colon announces that a quote will follow to provide evidence for the sentence’s claim.
2) Introduce or conclude the quote by attributing it to the speaker. If your
attribution precedes the quote, you will need to use a comma after the verb.
Hamlet denies Rosencrantz’s claim that thwarted ambition caused his depression. He states,
“I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space” (Hamlet 2.2).
When faced with a twelve-foot mountain troll, Ron gathers his courage, shouting,
“Wingardium Leviosa!” (Rowling, p. 176).
The Pirate King sees an element of regality in their impoverished and dishonest life. “It is, it
is a glorious thing/To be a pirate king,” he declares (Pirates of Penzance, 1983).
3) Interrupt the quote with an attribution to the speaker. Again, you will need to
use a comma after the verb, as well as a comma leading into the attribution.
“There is nothing either good or bad,” Hamlet argues, “but thinking makes it so” (Hamlet
2.2).

“And death shall be no more,” Donne writes, “Death thou shalt die” (“Death, Be Not Proud,”
l. 14).
Dividing the quote may highlight a particular nuance of the quote’s meaning. In the first
example, the division calls attention to the two parts of Hamlet’s claim. The first phrase states
that nothing is inherently good or bad; the second phrase suggests that our perspective causes
things to become good or bad. In the second example, the isolation of “Death thou shalt die”
at the end of the sentence draws a reader’s attention to that phrase in particular. As you
decide whether or not you want to break up a quote, you should consider the shift in emphasis
that the division might create.
4) Use the words of the quote grammatically within your own sentence.
When Hamlet tells Rosencrantz that he “could be bounded in a nutshell and count [him]self
a king of infinite space” (Hamlet 2.2), he implies that thwarted ambition did not cause his
depression.
Ultimately, death holds no power over Donne since in the afterlife, “death shall be no more”
(“Death, Be Not Proud,” l. 14).
Note that when you use “that” after the verb that introduces the quote, you no longer need a
comma.
The Pirate King argues that “it is, it is a glorious thing/to be a pirate king” (Pirates of
Penzance, 1983).
How much should I quote?
As few words as possible. Remember, your paper should primarily contain your own words, so
quote only the most pithy and memorable parts of sources. Here are three guidelines for
selecting quoted material judiciously.
1. Excerpt fragments.
Sometimes, you should quote short fragments, rather than whole sentences. Suppose you
interviewed Jane Doe about her reaction to John F. Kennedy’s assassination. She commented:
“I couldn’t believe it. It was just unreal and so sad. It was just unbelievable. I had never
experienced such denial. I don’t know why I felt so strongly. Perhaps it was because JFK was
more to me than a president. He represented the hopes of young people everywhere.”
You could quote all of Jane’s comments, but her first three sentences are fairly redundant. You
might instead want to quote Jane when she arrives at the ultimate reason for her strong
emotions:
Jane Doe grappled with grief and disbelief. She had viewed JFK, not just as a national
figurehead, but as someone who “represented the hopes of young people everywhere.”

2. Excerpt those fragments carefully!
Quoting the words of others carries a big responsibility. Misquoting misrepresents the ideas of
others. Here’s a classic example of a misquote:
John Adams has often been quoted as having said: “This would be the best of all possible
worlds if there were no religion in it.”
John Adams did, in fact, write the above words. But if you see those words in context, the
meaning changes entirely. Here’s the rest of the quotation:
Twenty times, in the course of my late reading, have I been on the point of breaking out, ‘this
would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it!!!!’ But in this
exclamation, I should have been as fanatical as Bryant or Cleverly. Without religion, this world
would be something not fit to be mentioned in public company—I mean hell.
As you can see from this example, context matters!
This example is from Paul F. Boller, Jr. and John George, They Never Said It: A Book of Fake
Quotes, Misquotes, and Misleading Attributions (Oxford University Press, 1989).
3. Use block quotations sparingly.
There may be times when you need to quote long passages. However, you should use block
quotations only when you fear that omitting any words will destroy the integrity of the passage.
If that passage exceeds four lines (some sources say five), then set it off as a block quotation.
Here are a few general tips for setting off your block quotation—to be sure you are handling
block quotes correctly in papers for different academic disciplines, check the index of the
citation style guide you are using:
1. Set up a block quotation with your own words followed by a colon.
2. Indent. You normally indent 4-5 spaces for the start of a paragraph. When
setting up a block quotation, indent the entire paragraph once from the left-
hand margin.
3. Single space or double space within the block quotation, depending on the
style guidelines of your discipline (MLA, CSE, APA, Chicago, etc.).
4. Do not use quotation marks at the beginning or end of the block quote—the
indentation is what indicates that it’s a quote.
5. Place parenthetical citation according to your style guide (usually after the
period following the last sentence of the quote).
6. Follow up a block quotation with your own words.
So, using the above example from John Adams, here’s how you might include a block
quotation:
After reading several doctrinally rigid tracts, John Adams recalled the zealous ranting of his
 
former teacher, Joseph Cleverly, and minister, Lemuel Bryant. He expressed his ambivalence
toward religion in an 1817 letter to Thomas Jefferson:
Twenty times, in the course of my late reading, have I been on the point of
breaking out, ‘this would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no
religion in it!!!!’ But in this exclamation, I should have been as fanatical as
Bryant or Cleverly. Without religion, this world would be something not fit
to be mentioned in public company—I mean hell.
Adams clearly appreciated religion, even if he often questioned its promotion.
How do I combine quotation marks with other punctuation marks?
It can be confusing when you start combining quotation marks with other punctuation marks.
You should consult a style manual for complicated situations, but the following two rules apply
to most cases:
1) Keep periods and commas within quotation marks.
So, for example:
According to Professor Jones, Lincoln “feared the spread of slavery,” but many of his aides
advised him to “watch and wait.”
In the above example, both the comma and period were enclosed in the quotation marks. The
main exception to this rule involves the use of internal citations, which always precede the last
period of the sentence. For example:
According to Professor Jones, Lincoln “feared the spread of slavery,” but many of his aides
advised him to “watch and wait” (Jones 143).
Note, however, that the period remains inside the quotation marks when your citation style
involved superscript footnotes or endnotes. For example:
According to Professor Jones, Lincoln “feared the spread of slavery,” but many of his aides
advised him to “watch and wait.”2
2) Place all other punctuation marks (colons, semicolons, exclamation marks, question marks) outside the
quotation marks, except when they were part of the original quotation.
Take a look at the following examples:
The student wrote that the U. S. Civil War “finally ended around 1900
!
The coach yelled, “Run!”
In the first example, the author placed the exclamation point outside the quotation mark
because she added it herself to emphasize the absurdity of the student’s comment. The
student’s original comment had not included an exclamation mark. In the second example, the
exclamation mark remains within the quotation mark because it is indicating the excited tone in
which the coach yelled the command. Thus, the exclamation mark is considered to be part of
the original quotation.
How do I indicate quotations within quotations?
If you are quoting a passage that contains a quotation, then you use single quotation marks for
the internal quotation. Quite rarely, you quote a passage that has a quotation within a
quotation. In that rare instance, you would use double quotation marks for the second internal
quotation.
Here’s an example of a quotation within a quotation:
In “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” Hans Christian Andersen wrote, “‘But the Emperor has nothing
on at all!’ cried a little child.”
3. Use punctuation marks in combination with ellipses when removing material from the end of sentences or
clauses.
For example, if you take material from the end of a sentence, keep the period in as usual.
“The boys ran to school, forgetting their lunches and books. Even though they were out of
breath, they made it on time.”
“The boys ran to school. . . . Even though they were out of breath, they made it on time.”
Likewise, if you excerpt material at the end of clause that ends in a comma, retain the comma.
“The red car came to a screeching halt that was heard by nearby pedestrians, but no one was
hurt.”
“The red car came to a screeching halt . . . , but no one was hurt.”
Is it ever okay to insert my own words or change words in a quotation?

Remember to consult your style guide to determine how to properly cite a quote within a quote. Sometimes it is necessary for clarity and flow to alter a word or words within a quotation. You
should make such changes rarely. In order to alert your reader to the changes you’ve made,
When do I use those three dots ( . . . )? you should always bracket the altered words. Here are a few examples of situations when you
might need brackets.
Whenever you want to leave out material from within a quotation, you need to use an ellipsis,
1. Changing verb tense or pronouns in order to be consistent with the rest of the sentence.
which is a series of three periods, each of which should be preceded and followed by a space.
So, an ellipsis in this sentence would look like . . . this. There are a few rules to follow when
Suppose you were quoting a woman who, when asked about her experiences immigrating to
using ellipses:
the United States, commented “nobody understood me.” You might write:
1. Be sure that you don’t fundamentally change the meaning of the quotation by omitting material.
Esther Hansen felt that when she came to the United States “nobody understood [her].”
Take a look at the following example: In the above example, you’ve changed “me” to “her” in order to keep the entire passage in
third person. However, you could avoid the need for this change by simply rephrasing:
“The Writing Center is located on the campus and serves the entire community.”
“Nobody understood me,” recalled Danish immigrant Esther Hansen.
“The Writing Center . . . serves the entire community.”
2. Including supplemental information that your reader needs in order to understand the quotation.
The reader’s understanding of the Writing Center’s mission to serve the community is not
affected by omitting the information about its location.
For example, if you were quoting someone’s nickname, you might want to let your reader know
2. Do not use ellipses at the beginning or ending of quotations, unless it’s important for the reader to know
the full name of that person in brackets.
that the quotation was truncated.
“The principal of the school told Billy [William Smith] that his contract would be terminated.”
For example, using the above example, you would NOT need an ellipsis in either of these Similarly, if a quotation referenced an event with which the reader might be unfamiliar, you
situations: could identify that event in brackets.
“The Writing Center is located on the campus . . .” “We completely revised our political strategies after the strike [of 1934].”
The Writing Center ” . . . serves the entire community.”

 
3. Indicating the use of nonstandard grammar or spelling. Gibaldi, Joseph. MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers, 6th Edition. New York: The
Modern Language Association of America, 2003.
In rare situations, you may quote from a text that has nonstandard grammar, spelling, or word
choice. In such cases, you may want to insert [sic], which means “thus” or “so” in Latin. Using Turabian, Kate L. A Manual for Writers of Term Papers, Theses, and Dissertations. 6th Edition.
[sic] alerts your reader to the fact that this nonstandard language is not the result of a typo on Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1996.
your part. Always italicize “sic” and enclose it in brackets. There is no need to put a period at
the end. Here’s an example of when you might use [sic]:

Twelve-year-old Betsy Smith wrote in her diary, “Father is afraid that he will be guilty of beach
[sic] of contract.”

Here [sic] indicates that the original author wrote “beach of contract,” not breach of contract,
which is the accepted terminology.

4. Do not overuse brackets!

For example, it is not necessary to bracket capitalization changes that you make at the
beginning of sentences. For example, suppose you were going to use part of this quotation:

“We never looked back, but the memory of our army days remained with us the rest of our
lives.”

If you wanted to begin a sentence with an excerpt from the middle of this quotation, there
would be no need to bracket your capitalization changes.

“The memory of our army days remained with us the rest of our lives,” commented Joe Brown,
a World War II veteran.

Not

“[T]he memory of our army days remained with us the rest of our lives,” commented Joe
Brown, a World War II veteran.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.

Barzun, Jacques and Henry F. Graff. The Modern Researcher. 6th Edition. Harcourt Brace
Jovanovich, 2004.

Booth, Wayne C., Gregory G. Colomb, and Joseph M. Williams. The Craft of Research, 2nd
Edition. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2003.

 
 I like the person who was nice to me.

I hate the dog. The dog bit me.

I hate the dog that bit me.

Relative Clauses
I am moving to Louisville, KY. It is home to the Muhammad Ali Museum.

I am moving to Louisville, KY, which is home to the Muhammad Ali Museum.

Relative pronoun as object (in red):

This handout will help you understand what relative clauses are and how they work, and will
especially help you decide when to use “that” or “which.” I like the bike. My father gave me the bike.

I like the bike that my father gave me.

What is a relative clause?

Restrictive Relative Clauses

A relative clause is one kind of dependent clause. It has a subject and verb, but can’t stand
alone as a sentence. It is sometimes called an “adjective clause” because it functions like an
Restrictive relative clauses give information that defines the noun—information that’s necessary
adjective—it gives more information about a noun. A relative clause always begins with a
for complete identification of the noun. Use “that” or “which” for non-human nouns; use “that”
“relative pronoun,” which substitute for a noun, a noun phrase, or a pronoun when sentences
or “who” for human nouns. Do not use commas.
are combined.
I like the paintings. (Which paintings? We can’t clearly identify them without the relative
The relative pronouns are:
clause.)

who for people can substitute for subject nouns/pronouns (he, So we add the clause:
she)
The paintings hang in the SASB North lobby.
whom for people can substitute for object nouns/pronouns (him,
her) I like the paintings that hang in the SASB North lobby.

whose for people can substitute for possessive nouns/pronouns OR

(his, hers)
I like the paintings which hang in the SASB North lobby. (Again, this is acceptable, but
that for people can be either subject or object some people object to using “which” in a restrictive relative clause. “That” is preferred.)
or things
can only be used in restrictive relative clauses Students who study hard will do well in my class. (Only this group of students will do well.)
(see below)
Students whose grades are low can drop one test score. (Only this group can drop a test
which for things can be either subject or object score.)

can be used in non-restrictive relative clauses When the noun is the object of the preposition, both the noun and the preposition move
together to the front of the relative clause. In less formal English, it’s common to move only the
can also be used in restrictive relative clauses,
though some people don’t like this use pronoun to the front of the clause.

I spent hours talking with a person last night. I hope to hear from her.
Relative pronoun as subject (in red):
I hope I hear from the person with whom I spent hours talking last night. (more formal)
I like the person. The person was nice to me.

 
OR I like the paintings hanging in the SASB North lobby.

I hope to hear from the person whom I spent hours talking with last night. (less formal) Object pronouns can be deleted.

Non-restrictive Relative Clauses

I like the bike that my father gave me.

I like the bike my father gave me.

This type of relative clause merely provides extra information. This information may be quite
interesting and important to the larger conversation, but it is not essential for precise I hope I hear from the person whom I spent hours talking with last night.
identification of the noun. “That” cannot be used as a relative pronoun in a non-restrictive
I hope to hear from the person I spent hours talking with last night.
relative clause. Commas are always used at the beginning and end of this type of relative
clause. Non-restrictive relative clauses can be reduced in one way.

A non-restrictive relative clause can modify a single noun, a noun phrase, or an entire Subject pronouns with “be” verbs can be deleted in non-restrictive clauses.
proposition.
I am moving to Louisville, KY, which is home to the Muhammad Ali Museum.
My mother is thinking of opening a restaurant. My mother is an excellent cook.
I am moving to Louisville, KY, home to the Muhammad Ali Museum.
“My mother” is already a clearly defined noun, so the second sentence becomes a non-
restrictive relative clause set off by commas on both sides. My mother, who is an excellent cook, is thinking of opening a restaurant.

My mother, who is an excellent cook, is thinking of opening a restaurant. My mother, an excellent cook, is thinking of opening a restaurant.

I’m planning to grow roses. I find roses quite beautiful.

I’m planning to grow roses, which I find quite beautiful. Subject-Verb Agreement in Relative Clauses

(not okay) I’m planning to grow roses, that I find quite beautiful.
Remember that the relative pronoun is substituting for a noun, which could be singular or plural
I’m driving across the country with three small children. before the substitution. The verb in the relative clause must agree with the original noun.

Driving across the country with three small children is going to be stressful. 17a. People are lucky. People win the lottery.

I’m driving across the country with three small children, which is going to be stressful. 17b. People who win the lottery are lucky. (plural verb)

18a. A person is lucky. She wins the lottery every year.

Reducing Relative Clauses

18b. A person who wins the lottery every year is lucky. (singular verb)

This can be tricky in “one of the…” constructions. The key is to find which noun the relative
Some types of relative clauses can be “reduced”— the relative pronoun and maybe other words pronoun is referring to.
can be removed. You might reduce the clause to make your writing more concise or to add
sentence variety. We’ll use the examples above to demonstrate how to reduce both restrictive 19a. Homelessness is a problem. The problem needs to be addressed.
and non-restrictive clauses.
19b. Homelessness is a problem that needs to be addressed. (singular problem)
Restrictive relative clauses can be reduced in two ways.
20a. Many problems need to be addressed. Homelessness is one of the problems.
Subject pronouns can be deleted if –ing is added to the verb.
20a. Homelessness is one of the problems that need to be addressed. (plural problems)
I like the paintings that hang in the SASB North lobby.

 

Semi-colons, colons, and dashes
This handout explains the most common uses of three kinds of punctuation: semi-colons (;),
colons (:), and dashes (—). After reading the handout, you will be better able to decide when to
use these forms of punctuation in your own writing.
Semi-colons
The semi-colon looks like a comma with a period above it, and this can be a good way to
remember what it does. A semi-colon creates more separation between thoughts than a comma
does but less than a period does. Here are the two most common uses of the semi-colon:
To help separate items in a list, when some of those items already contain commas.
Let’s look at an example, as that is the easiest way to understand this use of the semi-colon.
Suppose I want to list three items that I bought at the grocery store:
apples
grapes
pears
In a sentence, I would separate these items with commas:
I bought apples, grapes, and pears.
Now suppose that the three items I want to list are described in phrases that already contain
some commas:
shiny, ripe apples
small, sweet, juicy grapes
firm pears
If I use commas to separate these items, my sentence looks like this:
I bought shiny, ripe apples, small, sweet, juicy grapes, and firm pears.
That middle part is a bit confusing—it doesn’t give the reader many visual cues about how
many items are in the list, or about which words should be grouped together. Here is where the
semi-colon can help. The commas between items can be “bumped up” a notch and turned into
semi-colons, so that readers can easily tell how many items are in the list and which words go
 
together:
I bought shiny, ripe apples; small, sweet, juicy grapes; and firm pears.
To join two sentences. An independent clause is a group of words that can stand on its own
(independently)—it is a complete sentence. Semi-colons can be used between two independent
clauses. The semi-colon keeps the clauses somewhat separate, like a period would do, so we
can easily tell which ideas belong to which clause. But it also suggests that there may be a
close relationship between the two clauses—closer than you would expect if there were a period
between them. Let’s look at a few examples. Here are a few fine independent clauses, standing
on their own as complete sentences:
I went to the grocery store today. I bought a ton of fruit. Apples, grapes, and pears were
on sale.
Now—where could semi-colons fit in here? They could be used to join two (but not all three) of
the independent clauses together. So either of these pairs of sentences would be o.k.:
I went to the grocery store today; I bought a ton of fruit. Apples, grapes, and pears were
all on sale.
OR
I went to the grocery store today. I bought a ton of fruit; apples, grapes, and pears were
all on sale.
I could NOT do this:
I went to the grocery store today; I bought a ton of fruit; apples, grapes, and pears were
all on sale.
But why I would want to use a semi-colon here, anyway? One reason might have to do with
style: the three short sentences sound kind of choppy or abrupt. A stronger reason might be if I
wanted to emphasize a relationship between two of the sentences. If I connect “I bought a ton
of fruit” and “Apples, grapes, and pears were all on sale” more closely, readers may realize that
the reason why I bought so much fruit is that there was a great sale on it.
Colons
Colons follow independent clauses (clauses that could stand alone as sentences) and can be
used to present an explanation, draw attention to something, or join ideas together.
Common uses of colons
To announce, introduce, or direct attention to a list, a noun or noun phrase, a
quotation, or an example/explanation. You can use a colon to draw attention to many
things in your writing. The categories listed below often overlap, so don’t worry too much about
whether your intended use of the colon fits one category perfectly.
Lists/series example: We covered many of the fundamentals in our writing class: grammar,
punctuation, style, and voice.
Noun/noun phrase example: My roommate gave me the things I needed most:
companionship and quiet.
Quotation example: Shakespeare said it best: “To thine own self be true.”
Example/explanation example: Many graduate students discover that there is a dark side to
academia: late nights, high stress, and a crippling addiction to caffeinated beverages.
To join sentences. You can use a colon to connect two sentences when the second sentence
summarizes, sharpens, or explains the first. Both sentences should be complete, and their
content should be very closely related. Note that if you use colons this way too often, it can
break up the flow of your writing. So don’t go colon-crazy!
Example: Life is like a puzzle: half the fun is in trying to work it out.
To express time, in titles, and as part of other writing conventions. Colons appear in
several standard or conventional places in writing. Here are a few examples:
With numbers. Colons are used to separate units of time (4:45:00 expresses four hours,
forty-five minutes, and zero seconds); ratios (2:1), and Bible verses and chapters (Matthew
2:24).
In bibliography entries. Many citation styles use a colon to separate information in
bibliography entries.
Example: Kurlansky, M. (2002). Salt: A world history. New York, NY: Walker and Co.
With subtitles. Colons are used to separate titles from subtitles.
Example: Everest: The Last Frontier
After the salutation in a formal business letter. A colon can be used immediately after the
greeting in a formal letter (less-formal letters tend to use a comma in this location).
Example:
To Whom it May Concern:
Please accept my application for the position advertised in the News and Observer.
Common colon mistakes
Using a colon between a verb and its object or complement
Example (incorrect): The very best peaches are: those that are grown in the great state of
Georgia.
To correct this, simply remove the colon.

Using a colon between a preposition and its object
Example (incorrect): My favorite cake is made of: carrots, flour, butter, eggs, and cream
cheese icing.
To correct this, simply remove the colon.
Using a colon after “such as,” “including,” “especially,” and similar phrases. This
violates the rule that the material preceding the colon must be a complete thought. Look, for
example, at the following sentence:
Example (incorrect): There are many different types of paper, including: college ruled, wide
ruled, and plain copy paper.
You can see that “There are many different types of paper, including” is not a complete
sentence. The colon should simply be removed.
How to check for mistakes
Ask yourself a question: does the material preceding the colon stand on its own? One way to
tell if the colon has been properly used is to look only at the words that come in front of the
colon. Do they make a complete thought? If not, you may be using the colon improperly. Check
above to see if you have made one of the most common mistakes.
Should you capitalize the first letter after a colon?
The first word following the colon should be lower-cased if the words after the colon form a
dependent clause (that is, if they could not stand on their own as a complete sentence). If the
following phrase is a complete (independent) clause, you may choose to capitalize it or not.
Whichever approach you choose, be sure to be consistent throughout your paper.
Example with an independent clause, showing two different approaches to
capitalization:
The commercials had one message: The geeks shall inherit the earth. (correct)
The commercials had one message: the geeks shall inherit the earth. (correct)
Example with a dependent clause (which is not capitalized)
There are three things that I love more than anything else in the world: my family,
my friends, and my computer. (correct)
Dashes
The first thing to know when talking about dashes is that they are almost never required by the
laws of grammar and punctuation. Overusing dashes can break up the flow of your writing,
making it choppy or even difficult to follow, so don’t overdo it.

It’s also important to distinguish between dashes and hyphens. Hyphens are shorter lines (-);
they are most often used to show connections between words that are working as a unit (for
example, you might see adjectives like “well-intentioned”) or to spell certain words (like “e-
mail”).
With that background information in mind, let’s take a look at some ways to put dashes to work
in your writing.
To set off material for emphasis. Think of dashes as the opposite of parentheses. Where
parentheses indicate that the reader should put less emphasis on the enclosed material, dashes
indicate that the reader should pay more attention to the material between the dashes. Dashes
add drama—parentheses whisper. Dashes can be used for emphasis in several ways:
A single dash can emphasize material at the beginning or end of a sentence.
Slightly confusing example with commas: Even the simplest tasks, washing, dressing, and
going to work, were nearly impossible after I broke my leg.
Better example with dashes: Even the simplest tasks—washing, dressing, and going to
work—were nearly impossible after I broke my leg.
To break up dialogue. In written dialogue, if a speaker suddenly or abruptly stops speaking,
hesitates in speech, or is cut off by another speaker, a dash can indicate the pause or
interruption.
Example: “I—I don’t know what you’re talking about,” denied the politician.
Example: Mimi began to explain herself, saying, “I was thinking—”
“I don’t care what you were thinking,” Rodolpho interrupted.

Example: After eighty years of dreaming, the elderly man realized it was time
to finally revisit the land of his youth—Ireland.
Example: “The Office”—a harmless television program or a dangerously
subversive guide to delinquency in the workplace?

Two dashes can emphasize material in the middle of a sentence. Some style and grammar
guides even permit you to write a complete sentence within the dashes.

Example: Everything I saw in my new neighborhood—from the graceful elm

trees to the stately brick buildings—reminded me of my alma mater.
Example (complete sentence): The students—they were each over the age of
eighteen—lined up in the streets to vote for the presidential candidates.

Two dashes can emphasize a modifier. Words or phrases that describe a noun can be set off
with dashes if you wish to emphasize them.

Example: The fairgrounds—cold and wet in the October rain—were deserted.

Example: Nettie—her chin held high—walked out into the storm.

To indicate sentence introductions or conclusions. You can sometimes use a dash to help
readers see that certain words are meant as an introduction or conclusion to your sentence.

Example: Books, paper, pencils—many students lacked even the simplest tools for learning
in nineteenth-century America.

Example: To improve their health, Americans should critically examine the foods that they
eat—fast food, fatty fried foods, junk food, and sugary snacks.

To mark “bonus phrases.” Phrases that add information or clarify but are not necessary to
the meaning of a sentence are ordinarily set off with commas. But when the phrase itself
already contains one or more commas, dashes can help readers understand the sentence.

 
 clauses always need to be attached to an independent clause (they’re too weak to stand
alone).

We’ll talk more about dependent clauses later on, but also see our handout on fragments for a
more detailed description of these types of clauses.
Sentence Patterns
Something tricky

Before we move on to the sentence types, you should know a little trick of subjects and verbs:
they can double up in the same clause. These are called “compound” subjects or verbs because
This handout gives an overview of English sentence patterns. It will help you identify subjects, there are two or more of them in the same clause.
verbs, and clause connectors so you can analyze your writing style and improve it by using a
Compound subject (two subjects related to the same verb):
variety of sentence patterns.
Javier and his colleagues collaborated on the research article.
Subjects, Verbs, and Clauses
Compound verb (two verbs related to the same subject):
In its simplest form, an English sentence has two parts: a subject and a verb that express a
Javier conducted the experiment and documented the results.
complete thought when they are together.
Compound subject with compound verb:
The subject shows who or what is doing the action. It is always some form of noun or
pronoun. Javier, his colleagues, and their advisor drafted and revised the article several times.
The verb shows the action or the state of being. It can be an action verb, like “run,” or a
state verb, like “seem.” Notice that they don’t overlap. You can tell that it’s only one clause because all of the subjects
in one clause come before all of the verbs in the same clause.
Examples of simple two word sentences include:
Four Basic Patterns
Marvin slept.
Dogs bark.
Isotopes react. Every sentence pattern below describes a different way to combine clauses. When you are
drafting your own papers or when you’re revising them for sentence variety, try to determine
Real sentences are rarely so short. We usually want to convey much more information, so we how many of these patterns you use. If you favor one particular pattern, your writing might be
modify the main subject and verb with other words and phrases, as in the sentences below: kind of boring if every sentence has exactly the same pattern. If you find this is true, try to
revise a few sentences using a different pattern.
Unfortunately, Marvin slept fitfully.
Dogs bark louder after midnight. NOTE: Because nouns can fill so many positions in a sentence, it’s easier to analyze sentence
Heavy isotopes react more slowly than light isotopes of the same element. patterns if you find the verbs and find the connectors. The most common connectors are
listed below with the sentence patterns that use them.
Despite the extra information, each of these sentences has one subject and one verb, so it’s
still just one clause. What’s a clause? In the descriptions below, S=Subject and V=Verb, and options for arranging the clauses in each
sentence pattern given in parentheses. Connecting words and the associated punctuation are
A clause is the combination of a subject and a verb. When you have a subject and verb, you highlighted in brown. Notice how the punctuation changes with each arrangement.
have a clause. Pretty easy, isn’t it? We’re going to concentrate on clauses in this handout, with
emphasis on these two in particular: Pattern 1: Simple Sentence

1. Independent clause: a subject and verb that make a complete thought. Independent One independent clause (SV.)
clauses are called independent because they can stand on their own and make sense.
2. Dependent clause: a subject and verb that don’t make a complete thought. Dependent Mr. Potato Head eats monkeys.

 
 I refuse.
Try this: Look for sentences in your own text that have only one clause. Mark them with a
certain color so they stand out.
Pattern 2: Compound Sentence
Two or more independent clauses. They can be arranged in these ways: (SV, and SV.) or (SV;
however, SV.)
Connectors with a comma, the FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so (See our handout on
commas for more info.)
Connectors with a semicolon and comma: however, moreover, nevertheless, nonetheless,
therefore
Example compound sentences:
Mr. Potato Head eats them for breakfast every day, but I don’t see the attraction.
Eating them makes him happy; however, he can’t persuade me.
Try this:
Scan your own text to find the compound connectors listed above. Circle them.
Find the verb and the subject of the clauses on both sides of the connectors.
Highlight your compound sentences with a color that’s different from the one you used to
mark your simple sentences.
Pattern 3: Complex Sentence
One independent clause PLUS one or more dependent clauses. They can be arranged in these
ways: (SV because SV.) or (Because SV, SV.) or (S, because SV, V.)
Connectors are always at the beginning of the dependent clause. They show how the dependent
clause is related to the independent clause. This list shows different types of relationships along
with the connectors that indicate those relationships:
Cause/Effect: because, since, so that
Comparison/Contrast: although, even though, though, whereas, while
Place/Manner: where, wherever, how, however
Possibility/Conditions: if, whether, unless
Relation: that, which, who, whom
Time: after, as, before, since, when, whenever, while, until
Examples of complex sentences:
He recommends them highly because they taste like chicken when they are hot.
Although chicken always appeals to me, I still feel skeptical about monkey.

Mrs. Potato Head, because she loves us so much, has offered to make her special monkey
souffle for us.
She can cook it however she wants.
Although I am curious, I am still skeptical.
Try this:
Scan your own text to find the complex connectors listed above. Circle them.
Find the verb and the subject of the clauses that goes with each connector, remembering
that the dependent clause might be in between the subject and verb of the independent
clause, as shown in the arrangement options above.
Highlight your complex sentences with a color that’s different from the one you used to
mark your simple sentences.
Pattern 4: Compound-Complex Sentence
Two or more independent clauses PLUS one or more dependent clauses. They can be arranged
in these ways: (SV, and SV because SV.) or (Because SV, SV, but SV.)
Connectors: Connectors listed under Patterns 2 & 3 are used here. Find the connectors, then
find the verbs and subjects that are part of each clause.
Mr. Potato Head said that he would share the secret recipe; however, if he does, Mrs.
Potato Head will feed him to the piranhas, so we are both safer and happier if I don’t eat
monkeys or steal recipes.
Try this: Use a fourth color to highlight the compound-complex sentences in your text (the
ones with at least two independent and at least one dependent clauses).
Look at the balance of the four different colors. Do you see one color standing out? Do you
notice one missing entirely? If so, examine your text carefully while you ask these questions:
Could you separate some of the more complex sentences?
Could you combine some of the shorter sentences?
Can you use different arrangement options for each of the sentence patterns?
Can you use different connectors if you change the order of the clauses?


Should I Use “I”?
This handout is about determining when to use first person pronouns (“I”, “we,” “me,” “us,”
“my,” and “our”) and personal experience in academic writing. “First person” and “personal
experience” might sound like two ways of saying the same thing, but first person and personal
experience can work in very different ways in your writing. You might choose to use “I” but not
make any reference to your individual experiences in a particular paper. Or you might include a
brief description of an experience that could help illustrate a point you’re making without ever
using the word “I.” So whether or not you should use first person and personal experience are
really two separate questions, both of which this handout addresses. It also offers some
alternatives if you decide that either “I” or personal experience isn’t appropriate for your
project. If you’ve decided that you do want to use one of them, this handout offers some ideas
about how to do so effectively, because in many cases using one or the other might strengthen
your writing.
Expectations about academic writing
Students often arrive at college with strict lists of writing rules in mind. Often these are rather
strict lists of absolutes, including rules both stated and unstated:
Each essay should have exactly five paragraphs.
Don’t begin a sentence with ‘and’ or ‘because.’
Never include personal opinion.
Never use ‘I’ in essays.
We get these ideas primarily from teachers and other students. Often these ideas are derived
from good advice but have been turned into unnecessarily strict rules in our minds. The
problem is that overly strict rules about writing can prevent us, as writers, from being flexible
enough to learn to adapt to the writing styles of different fields, ranging from the sciences to
the humanities, and different kinds of writing projects, ranging from reviews to research.
So when it suits your purpose as a scholar, you will probably need to break some of the old
rules, particularly the rules that prohibit first person pronouns and personal experience.
Although there are certainly some instructors who think that these rules should be followed (so
it is a good idea to ask directly), many instructors in all kinds of fields are finding reason to
depart from these rules. Avoiding “I” can lead to awkwardness and vagueness, whereas using it
in your writing can improve style and clarity. Using personal experience, when relevant, can
 
add concreteness and even authority to writing that might otherwise be vague and impersonal.
Because college writing situations vary widely in terms of stylistic conventions, tone, audience,
and purpose, the trick is deciphering the conventions of your writing context and determining
how your purpose and audience affect the way you write. The rest of this handout is devoted to
strategies for figuring out when to use “I” and personal experience.
Effective uses of “I”:
In many cases, using the first person pronoun can improve your writing, by offering the
following benefits:
Assertiveness: In some cases you might wish to emphasize agency (who is doing what), as
for instance if you need to point out how valuable your particular project is to an academic
discipline or to claim your unique perspective or argument.
Clarity: Because trying to avoid the first person can lead to awkward constructions and
vagueness, using the first person can improve your writing style.
Positioning yourself in the essay: In some projects, you need to explain how your research
or ideas build on or depart from the work of others, in which case you’ll need to say “I,”
“we,” “my,” or “our”; if you wish to claim some kind of authority on the topic, first person
may help you do so.
Deciding whether “I” will help your style
Here is an example of how using the first person can make the writing clearer and more
assertive:
Original example: In studying American popular culture of the 1980s, the question of to
what degree materialism was a major characteristic of the cultural milieu was explored.
Better example using first person: In our study of American popular culture of the
1980s, we explored the degree to which materialism characterized the cultural milieu.
The original example sounds less emphatic and direct than the revised version; using “I” allows
the writers to avoid the convoluted construction of the original and clarifies who did what.
Here is an example in which alternatives to the first person would be more appropriate:
Original example: As I observed the communication styles of first-year Carolina
women, I noticed frequent use of non-verbal cues.
Better example: A study of the communication styles of first-year Carolina women
revealed frequent use of non-verbal cues.
In the original example, using the first person grounds the experience heavily in the writer’s
subjective, individual perspective, but the writer’s purpose is to describe a phenomenon that is
in fact objective or independent of that perspective. Avoiding the first person here creates the
desired impression of an observed phenomenon that could be reproduced and also creates a
stronger, clearer statement.
Here’s another example in which an alternative to first person works better:
Original example:As I was reading this study of medieval village life, I noticed that
social class tended to be clearly defined.
Better example: This study of medieval village life reveals that social class tended to be
clearly defined.
Although you may run across instructors who find the casual style of the original example
refreshing, they are probably rare. The revised version sounds more academic and renders the
statement more assertive and direct.
Here’s a final example:
Original exampleI think that Aristotle’s ethical arguments are logical and readily
applicable to contemporary cases, or at least it seems that way to me.
Better example: Aristotle’s ethical arguments are logical and readily applicable to
contemporary cases.
In this example, there is no real need to announce that that statement about Aristotle is your
thought; this is your paper, so readers will assume that the ideas in it are yours.
Determining whether to use “I” according to the conventions of the academic field
Which fields allow “I”?
The rules for this are changing, so it’s always best to ask your instructor if you’re not sure
about using first person. But here are some general guidelines:
Sciences: In the past, scientific writers avoided the use of “I” because scientists often view the
first person as interfering with the impression of objectivity and impersonality they are seeking
to create. But conventions seem to be changing in some cases—for instance, when a scientific
writer is describing a project she is working on or positioning that project within the existing
research on the topic. Check with your science instructor to find out whether it’s o.k. to use “I”
in his/her class.
Social Sciences: Some social scientists try to avoid “I” for the same reasons that other
scientists do. But first person is becoming more commonly accepted, especially when the writer
is describing his/her project or perspective.
Humanities: Ask your instructor whether you should use “I.” The purpose of writing in the
humanities is generally to offer your own analysis of language, ideas, or a work of art. Writers
in these fields tend to value assertiveness and to emphasize agency (who’s doing what), so the
 
first person is often—but not always—appropriate. Sometimes writers use the first person in a
less effective way, preceding an assertion with “I think,” “I feel,” or “I believe” as if such a
phrase could replace a real defense of an argument. While your audience is generally interested
in your perspective in the humanities fields, readers do expect you to fully argue, support, and
illustrate your assertions. Personal belief or opinion is generally not sufficient in itself; you will
need evidence of some kind to convince your reader.
Other writing situations: If you’re writing a speech, use of the first and even the second
person (“you”) is generally encouraged because these personal pronouns can create a desirable
sense of connection between speaker and listener and can contribute to the sense that the
speaker is sincere and involved in the issue. If you’re writing a resume, though, avoid the first
person; describe your experience, education, and skills without using a personal pronoun (for
example, under “Experience” you might write “Volunteered as a peer counselor.”).
A note on the second person “you”:
In situations where your intention is to sound conversational and friendly because it suits your
purpose, as it does in this handout intended to offer helpful advice, or in a letter or speech,
“you” might help to create just the sense of familiarity you’re after. But in most academic
writing situations, “you” sounds overly conversational, as for instance in a claim like “when you
read the poem ‘The Wasteland,’ you feel a sense of emptiness.” In this case, the “you” sounds
overly conversational. The statement would read better as “The poem ‘The Wasteland’ creates a
sense of emptiness.” Academic writers almost always use alternatives to the second person
pronoun, such as “one,” “the reader,” or “people.”
Personal experience in academic writing
The question of whether personal experience has a place in academic writing depends on
context and purpose. In papers that seek to analyze an objective principle or data as in science
papers, or in papers for a field that explicitly tries to minimize the effect of the researcher’s
presence such as anthropology, personal experience would probably distract from your purpose.
But sometimes you might need to explicitly situate your position as researcher in relation to
your subject of study. Or if your purpose is to present your individual response to a work of art,
to offer examples of how an idea or theory might apply to life, or to use experience as evidence
or a demonstration of an abstract principle, personal experience might have a legitimate role to
play in your academic writing. Using personal experience effectively usually means keeping it in
the service of your argument, as opposed to letting it become an end in itself or take over the
paper.
It’s also usually best to keep your real or hypothetical stories brief, but they can strengthen
arguments in need of concrete illustrations or even just a little more vitality.
Here are some examples of effective ways to incorporate personal experience in academic
writing:
 Anecdotes: In some cases, brief examples of experiences you’ve had or witnessed may
serve as useful illustrations of a point you’re arguing or a theory you’re evaluating. For
instance, in philosophical arguments, writers often use a real or hypothetical situation to
illustrate abstract ideas and principles.
References to your own experience can explain your interest in an issue or even help to
establish your authority on a topic.
Some specific writing situations, such as application essays, explicitly call for discussion of
personal experience.
Here are some suggestions about including personal experience in writing for specific fields:
Philosophy: In philosophical writing, your purpose is generally to reconstruct or evaluate an
existing argument, and/or to generate your own. Sometimes, doing this effectively may involve
offering a hypothetical example or an illustration. In these cases, you might find that inventing
or recounting a scenario that you’ve experienced or witnessed could help demonstrate your
point. Personal experience can play a very useful role in your philosophy papers, as long as you
always explain to the reader how the experience is related to your argument. (See our handout
on writing in philosophy for more information.)
History: If you’re analyzing a historical period or issue, personal experience is less likely to
advance your purpose of objectivity. However, some kinds of historical scholarship do involve
the exploration of personal histories. So although you might not be referencing your own
experience, you might very well be discussing other people’s experiences as illustrations of their
historical contexts. (See our handout on writing in history for more information.)
Sciences: Because the primary purpose is to study data and fixed principles in an objective
way, personal experience is less likely to have a place in this kind of writing. Often, as in a lab
report, your goal is to describe observations in such a way that a reader could duplicate the
experiment, so the less extra information, the better. Of course, if you’re working in the social
sciences, case studies—accounts of the personal experiences of other people—are a crucial part
of your scholarship. (See our handout on writing in the sciences for more information.)

Religion: Religion courses might seem like a place where personal experience would be
welcomed. But most religion courses take a cultural, historical, or textual approach, and these
generally require objectivity and impersonality. So although you probably have very strong
beliefs or powerful experiences in this area that might motivate your interest in the field, they
shouldn’t supplant scholarly analysis. But ask your instructor, as it is possible that he or she is
interested in your personal experiences with religion, especially in less formal assignments such
as response papers. (See our handout on writing in religious studies for more information.)

Literature, Music, Fine Arts, and Film: Writing projects in these fields can sometimes benefit
from the inclusion of personal experience, as long as it isn’t tangential. For instance, your
annoyance over your roommate’s habits might not add much to an analysis of “Citizen Kane.”
However, if you’re writing about Ridley Scott’s treatment of relationships between women in the
movie “Thelma and Louise,” some reference your own observations about these relationships
might be relevant if it adds to your analysis of the film. Personal experience can be especially
appropriate in a response paper, or in any kind of assignment that asks about your experience
of the work as a reader or viewer. Some film and literature scholars are interested in how a film
or literary text is received by different audiences, so a discussion of how a particular viewer or
reader experiences or identifies with the piece would probably be appropriate. (See our
handouts on writing about fiction, art history, and drama for more information.)

Women’s Studies: Women’s Studies classes tend to be taught from a feminist perspective, a
perspective which is generally interested in the ways in which individuals experience gender
roles. So personal experience can often serve as evidence for your analytical and argumentative
papers in this field. This field is also one in which you might be asked to keep a journal, a kind
of writing that requires you to apply theoretical concepts to your experiences.

 

Style
This handout will help you recognize potential problems in your writing style and learn to
correct them.
What do we mean by style?
Have you ever wondered what your instructors mean when they write “wordy” or “passive
voice” or “awk” in the margins of your paper? Do you sometimes sense that your sentences
could be stronger, clearer, shorter, or more effective? Do you often feel that you know what
you mean but do not know how to say it? If you sometimes get feedback from your instructors
that you need to “tighten your prose” or “look at your word choice,” you may need to work on
your writing style—the way you put together a sentence or group of sentences.
Part of the problem with style is that it’s subjective. Different readers have different ideas about
what constitutes good writing style, and so do different instructors and different academic
departments. For example, passive voice is generally more acceptable in the sciences than in
the humanities. You may have an instructor who keeps circling items in your paper and noting
“word choice” or “awkward” and another who comments only on content. Worse yet, some of
what readers identify as writing problems may technically be grammatically correct. A sentence
can be wordy and still pass all the rules in the grammar handbooks. This fact may make it
harder for you to see what’s wrong, and it may make you more likely to think that the
instructor is picky or out to get you when you read her comments. In fact, the instructor
probably just cares about your development as a writer. She wants you to see what she thinks
interferes with your argument and learn to express your ideas more directly, elegantly, and
persuasively.
Say what you mean
First, remember that your goal in academic writing is not to sound intelligent, but to get your
intelligent point across. You may be reading complicated textbooks and articles, and even when
they don’t make sense to you, they all sound smart. So when you have to write a paper, you
may try to imitate this type of writing. But sometimes when you imitate the style, you miss the
most important goal—communicating and being understood. Your instructor can’t read your
mind—she can only read your paper. And if she can’t understand what you are saying, she’s
going to have trouble giving you credit for it. Remember that the most important goal in every
paper is to get your point across as straightforwardly as possible. (See our handout on
 
argument if you need more help understanding why getting your point across is important .)
Say it in the appropriate tone
Beware too of the opposite problem: writing exactly like you speak to your friends over lunch at
Lenoir. We’ve written this pamphlet in a chatty, friendly style, hoping that you’ll read it and
think, “This isn’t such a painful way to learn about style.” Ours may not be the appropriate style
for an academic paper. Some instructors may think it’s okay to say “capitalism is so lame” or
“the awesome thing about the Balkans is…,” but most won’t. When in doubt, be conservative,
and don’t think that because a discipline is “artsy” or “out there” that instructors in that
discipline want you to write like that.
This caution doesn’t mean you should write all your sentences in a choppy, obvious, “see Jane
run” style. It just means that you should make sure that your instructor isn’t distracted from
what you are trying to say by how you are saying it.
How to improve
If you learn how to recognize matters of style in your writing, you will have more control over
your writing—the way someone reads your paper will be a result of choices you have made. If
those choices are deliberate, you’ll have more control over how the reader reacts to your
argument. So let’s look at what instructors often perceive as the biggest style “crimes.” You
probably don’t have trouble with all of these, so focus your attention on those issues most
relevant to your own writing. First we’ll explain some common, style-related writing problems,
then we’ll show you some handy tips for finding them, and finally we’ll work on correcting them
in your revision process. (That’s right: at first you may have to include a revision devoted
entirely to style in your writing process, at least until you get used to recognizing and correcting
these issues as you write.)
Wordiness
This term is used to cover a couple of style problems that involve using more words than you
absolutely need to say something. Especially when we talk, we use a lot of little “filler” words
that don’t actually have anything to add to the meaning of our sentences. (The previous
sentence has several examples—see if you can take five words out of it without losing any of its
meaning.) In writing, these filler words and phrases become more obvious and act as delays in
getting the reader to your point. If you have enough delays in your sentence, your readers
might get frustrated. They might even start skimming your paper, which seems a shame after
all of your efforts to communicate with them.
Your wordiness may derive from a problem unrelated to your writing style: uncertainty about
your topic, lack of a developed argument, or lack of evidence. If you’re not sure what you want
or have to say, you may have trouble saying it. As you struggle to find what you mean or play
with a vague idea or concept, you may write garbled or rambling sentences. If this happens to
you, it doesn’t mean that you are a “bad” writer or that you have a “bad” writing style or “bad”
ideas. It simply indicates that you are using writing as a way to think—to discover your point.
It’s okay to let yourself think on the page and write to discover precisely what you mean.
Taking thirty minutes (or more) to let yourself write and clarify your point for yourself may save
you lots of time later. Write to yourself until you can quickly explain to a friend what you are
writing about, why you believe it, and what evidence supports your position. Then, sit down to
write your paper with your reader in mind. Note: Some writers, in an effort to make a page
limit, will be wordy on purpose—this tactic will be obvious to the reader, and most instructors
will be less than impressed. If you find yourself struggling to meet length requirements, see our
handout on how to read an assignment for some tips. If you are still way off on page length and
our handout hasn’t helped you, you may want to talk to your instructor. (If that seems too
daunting a task, take a look at our handout about asking for feedback.)
Wordy constructions such as cliches, qualifiers, and redundant pairs are easy to fix once you
recognize your tendency to use them. Read several of your old papers and see if you can locate
any of these tendencies or consider whether they have become a habit for you in your writing:
1. Problem: Clichés
Example: France bit off more than it could chew in Vietnam, and America’s
intervention was too little, too late.
How to correct it: Clichés stand in for more precise descriptions of something. Slow
down and write exactly, precisely what you mean. If you get stuck, ask yourself “why?
or “how?”
Better example: As the French faltered in Vietnam, even American intervention could
not save the collapsing regime.
2. Problem: Lots of qualifiers (very, often, hopefully, practically, basically, really,
mostly)Most people usually think that many puppies are generally pretty cute.
How to correct it: Eliminate some of these qualifiers and you will have a stronger,
more direct point. Some qualifiers are necessary, but you should use them carefully
and thoughtfully.
Better example: Most people think that puppies are cute.
3. Problem: Using two words that mean the same thing
Example: Adrienne fulfilled all our hopes and dreams when she saved the whole entire
planet.
How to correct it: Choose the most precise term and delete the extra one.
Better example: Adrienne fullfilled all our hopes when she saved the planet.
 
Some “wordy” constructions take a little more practice locating and correcting:
1. Problem: Overuse of prepositional phrases (prepositions are little words such as in, over,
of, for, at, etc.)
Example: The reason for the failure of the economic system of the island was the inability
of Gilligan in finding adequate resources without incurring expenses at the hands of the
headhunters on the other side of the island.
How to locate and correct this problem: Locate this problem by circling all of the
prepositional phrases in your paper. A few are okay, but several in a sentence (as
demonstrated here) make the reader struggle to find and follow your subject and point.
Correct this problem by reading the sentence, looking away from it, and writing or saying
out loud what you meant when you wrote the sentence. Try asking yourself “Who did what
to whom?” Replace the first sentence with your new sentence.
Better example: Gilligan hurt the economic system of the island because he couldn’t find
adequate resources without angering the headhunters.
2. Problem: Stock phrases you can replace with one or two words.
Examples: The fact that I did not like the aliens affected our working relationship.
The aliens must be addressed in a professional manner.
How to locate and correct this problem: Locate this problem as you do cliches. Is this
just something people say? What do the words actually mean? Correct this problem by
looking for a single word that expresses your meaning.
Better examples:
My dislike of the aliens affected our working relationship.
The aliens must be addressed professionally.
Here’s a list of common or stock phrases to find in your paper and replace with a single
word (see Joseph M. Williams, Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace):
The reason for because, since, why
For the reason that
Due to the fact that
Owing to the face that
In light of the fact that
Considering the fact that
On the grounds that
Despite the fact that although, even though
Regardless of the fact that
In the event that
If it should happen that
Under circumstances in which
On the occasion of
In a situation in which
Under circumstances in which
As regards
In reference to
With regard to
Concerning the matter of
Where ___ is concerned
It is crucial that
It is necessary that
There is a need/necessity for
It is important that
Is able to
Is in a position to
Has the opportunity to
Has the capacity for
Has the ability to
It is possible that
There is a chance that
It could happen that
The possibility exists for
Prior to before, when, as, after
In anticipation of
Subsequent to
Following on
At the same time as
Simultaneously with
Not different similar
Not many
Not have
Not include
Not consider ignore
Not the same different

Not often rarely
if Not allow prevent
Not admit deny
Not accept reject
when
Verb trouble
about
Nouns (person, place, thing, or concept) and verbs (words that describe an action or state of
being) are the hearts and souls of all sentences. These become the essential elements—what
your grammar teacher may have called the “subject” and the “predicate” or the “actor” and
“action” of every sentence. The reader should be able to clearly locate the main subject and
verb of your sentences and, ideally, the subject and verb should be close together in the
must, should
sentence. Some style “crimes” are varied symptoms of one problem: the subjects and verbs or
the actor and action of your sentence are hiding from the reader.The reader has trouble
following who is doing what to whom. Instructors may write comments like “passive voice” or
“weak verbs” in your paper’s margins. While using passive voice or weak verbs is grammatically
can correct, it may make the reader work too hard to decipher your meaning. Use passive voice and
weak verbs strategically once you get the hang of them. If you’re still struggling to figure out
what they are, you need to aim for “active voice” and “strong verbs” to improve your writing.
1. Problem: Passive voice. When you hide the actor by putting it somewhere after the
action (not in the usual subject part of the sentence) and add a “to be” verb, you are
using passive voice. For more detailed coverage, see our handout on the passive voice.
may, might,
Examples: Here’s a passive sentence with the actor at the end of the sentence (not at
can, could
the beginning, where you would usually expect the subject):
The alien remains were lost by the government.
Some passive sentences omit actor entirely:
The alien remains were lost.
The car was wrecked.
Better (active) examples:
The government lost the alien remains.
few
I wrecked the car.
lack
omit How to locate and correct this problem: Locate passive voice in your papers by
circling every “to be” verb (am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being ) in your paper. Not
all of these verbs will indicate a passive construction or one you want to change, but if

 the “to be” verb is sitting next to another verb, especially one that ends in “ed,” (“was
lost”, “was wrecked”) then you may be using passive voice. If you have trouble finding
“to be” verbs, try finding the subject, verb, and object in each sentence. Can the
reader tell who or what is doing the action in your sentence? Correct passive
constructions by putting that actor back in the subject of the sentence and getting rid
of the “to be” verb. Note that you may have to add information in the sentence; you
have to specify who in your sentence and thereby keep the reader from guessing—
that’s good:
2. Problem: Nominalization—a fancy term for making verbs and adjectives into nouns.
Again, sometimes you want to use nominalization and may do so purposefully. But too
much nominalization in a paper can sound abstract and make the reader work to
decipher your meaning. (Professional academic writing often has a lot of nominalization
—that’s one reason why you may struggle with some of your assigned reading in your
courses!)
Examples: The discovery of the aliens was made by the government.
The car wreck was a result of a lack of visual focus.
How to locate and correct the problem: Locate nominalization in your papers by
circling all of the nouns. Do you have several in a single sentence? You might be hiding
the action (the verb) of your sentence inside of a noun. Correct nominalization by
returning the abstract noun to its function as verb or adjective. This will take practice—
focus on making the sentence simpler in structure (actor and action):
The government discovered the aliens.
My sister wrecked the car when she forgot to wear her glasses.
Also, look for sentences that begin with the following phrases: there is, there are, this
is, that is, it is. Sometimes you need these phrases to refer to an immediately
preceding sentence without repeating yourself, but they may be hiding nominalizations.
Example: There is a need for further study of aliens.
How to locate and correct this problem: Circle these phrases in your paper and try
omitting them from the sentence. Who is doing what to whom?
Better example: We need to study aliens further.
3. Problem: Weak verbs. If you have located and corrected passive voice and
nominalization problems in your essay but your sentences still seem to lack meaning or
directness, look for “weak” verbs. Verbs such as “to be” verbs and “have” verbs can
often be replaced by “strong” verbs, verbs that carry specific meaning. Concentrate on
what the subject of your sentence does and make that the verb in the sentence.

Example: The aliens have a positive effect on our ecosystem.
How to locate and correct this problem: Locate weak verbs by circling all of the “to
be” and “have” verbs in your paper. Correct weak verbs by omitting them and replacing
them with a more meaningful verb. Notice that you will need to add information as you
specify the nature of the action. Answer the question: “What does the subject really
do?”
Better example: The aliens improve our ecosystem.
Ostentatious erudition
You may be inclined to improve your style by sounding more “collegiate” or by using multi-
syllabic words. Don’t ever do so without looking up those words to make sure you know exactly
what they mean. And don’t blindly accept the recommendations of your word processing
program’s thesaurus—these tools may be dangerous unless you double-check the meaning of
the words in a dictionary. Many times, an inappropriate synonym will make you sound like you
don’t know what you are talking about or, worse yet, give the impression that you are
plagiarizing from a source you don’t understand. Never use a word you can’t clearly define. It’s
okay to use big words if you know them well and they fit your overall tone—just make sure
your tone is consistent. In other words, don’t say “That miscreant has a superlative aesthetic
sense, but he’s dopey.”
You may use overly “erudite” words because you think it is wrong to use the same words over
and over again in an essay. In fact, it’s often okay to repeat the same word(s) in your paper,
particularly when they are significant or central terms. For example, if your paper discusses the
significance of memory represented by the scent of wisteria in William Faulkner’s Absalom,
Absalom, you are going to write the words “memory” and “wisteria” a lot. Don’t start saying
“recollection,” “reminiscence,” “summoning up of past events,” and “climbing woody vine” just
to get a little variation in there. A thesaurus might even lead you to say that the significance of
nostalgia is represented by the odiferous output of parasitic flowering vegetation. Such
sentences may cloud rather than clarify your point.
Now you are ready to edit
You are probably not guilty of every style “crime” in this handout. If you consistently struggle
with one of these issues, focus your attention on that one. If you struggle with two or more,
work on one at a time. If you try to fix all of them at once, you may find your approach too
scattered or the task just plain overwhelming. You may also find that you use different styles
for different assignments, with different responses from instructors. Whatever the case, the
next time you finish a paper, take the issue you want to address and isolate it. Edit your paper
using our “locate and correct” suggestions for that one issue. Ignore everything else (spelling,
punctuation, content) and look for only that one issue. This strategy may sound time-
consuming, but by isolating your style problems, you will find them easier to fix. As you become

more proficient, you will include fewer and fewer style problems in your initial draft, and
therefore your draft will need less editing. In the end, you will be a better writer—so what are a
few minutes now?

If, after reading this handout and looking at your own writing, you are still struggling to
Transitions (ESL)
understand style problems, bring a few of your old papers to an appointment at the Writing
Center. Using already finished papers will help your tutor show you where your chronic style
problems occur, why they occur, and how you can fix them.

By the way, a lot of students who come to the Writing Center almost immediately locate their
own problem sentences when they read them aloud. Try this technique yourself, before you
hand in your paper. Check out our handout on proofreading techniques for more tips.
Works consulted
Logical connectors are often listed in categories like “contrast” with no further explanation;
however, there are important, though subtle differences in how they signal relationships
between ideas. This handout will help you choose the appropriate connector by explaining how
some of the more common expressions function to connect ideas.

Contrast transitions
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for Expression Function Example
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
In contrast Shows contrast Northern regions experienced record
between two snowfall last year. In contrast, southern
Lanham, Richard A. Revising Prose, 3rd ed. New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1992.
comparable regions had one of the mildest winters on
things record.
Strunk, William Jr. The Elements of Style, 4th ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2000.
Synonymous NOT: I’ve had breakfast; in contrast, I’m
Williams, Joseph M. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity & Grace, 4th ed. New York: HarperCollins
with “but” still hungry.
College Publishers, 1994.
NOT
synonymous
with “despite
this

However Shows contrast Northern regions experienced record

between snowfall last year. However, southern
comparable regions had one of the mildest winters on
things or record. (contrasting two similar things)
between
expectation The research clearly shows the risks.
and reality However, incidence of smoking is
increasing rapidly in developing countries.
Synonymous (contrasting expectation and reality)
with “but” and
“despite this” I’ve had breakfast; however, I’m still
hungry.

 
 Nevertheless

On the Opposition (not The island was nothing like the tropical
contrary x but y). paradise we had expected. On the Nonetheless



contrary, it was noisy, dirty, and
Follows a completely unrelaxing!
negative On the

statement and (In academic writing, the phrase “contrary contrary
elaborates to” is far more common: Contrary to the
tropical paradise we had expected, the On the other


island was noisy, dirty, and completely hand
unrelaxing.)

Addition transitions

On the other Comparison of Buying lottery tickets is probably a waste

hand two choices or of money. On the other hand, it might be Expression Function Example
two sides of an the best investment you could ever make!
issue
Also Almost The community is working to meet the
interchangeable needs of its citizens. The Town Council
Nevertheless, Shows contrast The research clearly shows the risks. with “and.” has just authorized a new senior center
Nonetheless between Nevertheless, incidence of smoking is Prefers identical for the elderly. It has also implemented
expectation increasing rapidly in developing countries. subjects and new social programs for teens and will be
and reality usually appears discussing a pre-school program at the
Synonymous I’ve had breakfast; nevertheless, I’m still after the subject. next meeting.
with “but” and hungry.
“despite this”
Furthermore Usually used when Moderate exercise has many beneficial
three or more effects. It lowers blood pressure, reduces
Comparison of transitions of contrast
reasons (or weight, and improves overall muscle
premises) are tone. Furthermore, it has the added
Shows Shows Compares Shows Shows Synonymous Synonymous given for the same benefit of releasing endorphins, generally
contrast contrast two opposition opposition. with “but” with conclusion improving the mood of those who
between between choices (not X but Does not “despite exercise.
two expectation or sides Y). Follows follow a this”
comparable and reality of an negative negative
things issue statement. statement. In addition, More formal than The community is working to meet the
Additionally “and.” Used for needs of its citizens. The Town Council
Contrary to
joining sentences. has just authorized a new senior center
Prefers non- for the elderly. In addition, the Parks
identical subjects Department has instituted a summer arts
In contrast

and appears program for teens.
before the
However




subject.

Nevertheless



 
 phrases rather
In addition Use when adding In addition to building a new senior
than complete
to a noun phrase to center for the elderly, the community has
sentences.
a sentence. Verbs implemented a free senior transportation
in this phrase take system.
the -ing form. In that case Signals a Water may reach flood stage by
In addition to the new senior center,
conditional morning. In that case (if that happens),
there is a new transportation system.
relationship, like the National Guard will come to assist.
if->then
Moreover Usually used when The Senator’s remarks have outraged the
two or more liberals; moreover, they have alienated
reasons (or the conservatives. He will surely suffer in
premises) are the next election.
given for the same
conclusion

Cause-Effect transitions

Expression Function Example

Consequently Signals causal He was absent over 50% of the time and
relationship missed the final exam. Consequently, he
failed the course.

Therefore Signals causal He was absent over 50% of the time and
relationship. Also missed the final exam. Therefore, he
signals a logical failed the course.
conclusion or
reasonable He has failed several courses this year.
inference. Therefore, I think it’s likely that he’ll
change his major.

For this/that Signals causal She was an excellent intern last

reason relationship when summer. For this reason, I’m willing to
reason is explicitly hire her for the new full-time position.
stated.

Hence, Thus Same as The grant is nearing the end of its cycle.
“therefore” but Thus we actively seeking funding.
more formal. Both
of these can be The grant is nearing the end of its cycle.
used to introduce Hence, the search for new funding.
phrases rather
 

Verb Tenses
These three verb tenses account for approximately 80% of the verb tense use in academic
writing. This handout will help you understand how present simple, past simple, and present
perfect verb tenses are used in academic writing.
Present Simple Tense
The present simple tense is the basic tense of most academic writing. Use this as your first
choice unless you have a good reason to use another tense. Specifically, the present simple is
used:
To “frame” your paper: in your introduction, the present simple tense describes what we
already know about the topic; in the conclusion, it says what we now know about the topic
and what further research is still needed.
To make general statements, conclusions, or interpretations about previous research or
data, focusing on what is known now (The data suggest … The research shows …).
To cite a previous study or finding without mentioning the researcher in the sentence:
The dinoflagellate’s TFVCs require an unidentified substance in fresh fish excreta
(Environmental Science)[1]
To introduce evidence or support in the structure:
There is evidence that …
To show strong agreement with a conclusion or theory from a previous paper (Smith
suggests that …), but not specific findings or data (use the past simple)
Past Simple Tense
Past simple tense is used for two main functions in most academic fields:
To introduce other people’s research into your text when you are describing a specific
study, usually carried out by named researcher. The research often provides an example
that supports a general statement or a finding in your research. Although it is possible to
use the past tense to distance yourself from a study’s findings, this appears to be rare, at
least in scientific writing.[2]
 
…customers obviously want to be treated at least as well on fishing vessels as they are by
other recreation businesses. [General claim]
De Young (1987) found the quality of service to be more important than catching fish in
attracting repeat customers. [Specific supporting evidence] (Marine Science)
To describe the methods and data of your completed experiment. However, look at
examples of the Methods and Results sections in journals in your fields to check that this is
good advice for you to follow. In many fields, the passive voice is most usual in methods
sections, although the active voice may be possible.
We conducted a secondary data analysis … (Public Health)
Descriptional statistical tests and t-student test were used for statistical analysis.
(Medicine)
The control group of students took the course previously … (Education)
Present Perfect Tense
The present perfect is mostly used for referring to previous research in the field or to your
own previous findings. Since the present perfect is a present tense, it implies that the result is
still true and relevant today.
The subject of active present perfect verbs is often general: Researchers have found,
Studies have suggested. The present simple could also be used here, but the present
perfect focuses more on what has been done than on what is known to be true now
(present simple). In the following example, there are two opposite findings, so neither is
the accepted state of knowledge:
Some studies have shown that girls have significantly higher fears than boys after
trauma (Pfefferbaum et al., 1999; Pine &; Cohen, 2002; Shaw, 2003). Other studies
have found no gender differences (Rahav &; Ronen, 1994). (Psychology)
A new topic can be introduced with this structure:
There have been several investigations into …
The present perfect forms a connection between the past (previous research) and the
present (your study). So, you say what has been found and then how you will contribute to
the field. This is also useful when you want to point out a gap in the existing research.
More recently, advances have been made using computational hydrodynamics to study
the evolution of SNRs in multidimensions …(citation) … [previous research]
However, a similar problem exists in the study of SNR dynamics. [gap] (Astrophysics)
 The passive voice is common in the present perfect tense to describe previous findings
without referring directly to the original paper: … has been studied; it has been observed
that … You should usually provide citations in parentheses or a footnote. The passive voice
allows you to move the subject of your research into a place in the sentence where it will
have more focus.
You can also use the present perfect to tell the history of your idea (what has created it?),
describe the results of your research (we have developed a new …), or to draw conclusions
(this has led us to conclude that …).
[1] Example reproduced from Penrose & Katz, 2004, p. 330
[2] According to Hawes & Thomas, 1997
Works Consulted
Biber, Douglas et al. Longman Grammar of Spoken and Written English. Longman, 1999.
Hawes, Thomas, and Sarah Thomas. “Tense Choices in Citations.” Research into the Teaching of
English, 31 (1997): 393-414.
Hinkel, Eli. Teaching Academic ESL Writing. Lawrence Erlbaum, 2004.
Penrose, Ann, and Steven Katz. Writing in the Sciences: Exploring the Conventions of Scientific
Discourse.2nd ed. Pearson Longman, 2004.
Swales, John, and Christine B. Feak. Academic Writing for Graduate Students: Essential Tasks
and Skills. 2nd ed. University of Michigan Press, 2004.

Word Choice
This handout can help you revise your papers for word-level clarity, eliminate wordiness and
avoid clichés, find the words that best express your ideas, and choose words that suit an
academic audience.
Introduction
Writing is a series of choices. As you work on a paper, you choose your topic, your approach,
your sources, and your thesis; when it’s time to write, you have to choose the words you will
use to express your ideas and decide how you will arrange those words into sentences and
paragraphs. As you revise your draft, you make more choices. You might ask yourself, “Is this
really what I mean?” or “Will readers understand this?” or “Does this sound good?” Finding
words that capture your meaning and convey that meaning to your readers is challenging.
When your instructors write things like “awkward,” “vague,” or “wordy” on your draft, they are
letting you know that they want you to work on word choice. This handout will explain some
common issues related to word choice and give you strategies for choosing the best words as
you revise your drafts.
As you read further into the handout, keep in mind that it can sometimes take more time to
“save” words from your original sentence than to write a brand new sentence to convey the
same meaning or idea. Don’t be too attached to what you’ve already written; if you are willing
to start a sentence fresh, you may be able to choose words with greater clarity.
For tips on making more substantial revisions, take a look at our handouts on reorganizing
drafts and revising drafts.
“Awkward,” “vague,” and “unclear” word choice
So: you write a paper that makes perfect sense to you, but it comes back with “awkward”
scribbled throughout the margins. Why, you wonder, are instructors so fond of terms like
“awkward”? Most instructors use terms like this to draw your attention to sentences they had
trouble understanding and to encourage you to rewrite those sentences more clearly.
Difficulties with word choice aren’t the only cause of awkwardness, vagueness, or other
problems with clarity. Sometimes a sentence is hard to follow because there is a grammatical
problem with it or because of the syntax (the way the words and phrases are put together).

Here’s an example: “Having finished with studying, the pizza was quickly eaten.” This sentence the following list for some examples. On the left are some phrases that use three, four, or more
isn’t hard to understand because of the words I chose—everybody knows what studying, pizza, words where fewer will do; on the right are some shorter substitutes:
and eating are. The problem here is that readers will naturally assume that first bit of the
sentence “(Having finished with studying”) goes with the next noun that follows it—which, in I came to the realization that I realized that
this case, is “the pizza”! It doesn’t make a lot of sense to imply that the pizza was studying. She is of the opinion that She thinks that
What I was actually trying to express was something more like this: “Having finished with Concerning the matter of About
studying, the students quickly ate the pizza.” If you have a sentence that has been marked During the course of During
“awkard,” “vague,” or “unclear,” try to think about it from a reader’s point of view—see if you
In the event that If
can tell where it changes direction or leaves out important information.
In the process of During, while
Sometimes, though, problems with clarity are a matter of word choice. See if you recognize any Regardless of the fact that Although
of these issues: Due to the fact that Because
In all cases Always
Misused words—the word doesn’t actually mean what the writer thinks it does.
Example: Cree Indians were a monotonous culture until French and British settlers arrived. At that point in time Then
Revision: Cree Indians were a homogenous culture. Prior to Before
Words with unwanted connotations or meanings.
Example: I sprayed the ants in their private places. Keep an eye out for wordy constructions in your writing and see if you can replace them with
Revision: I sprayed the ants in their hiding places. more concise words or phrases.
Using a pronoun when readers can’t tell whom/what it refers to.
Example: My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though he didn’t like him very Clichés

much.
In academic writing, it’s a good idea to limit your use of clichés. Clichés are catchy little phrases
Revision: My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though Jake doesn’t like Trey very
so frequently used that they have become trite, corny, or annoying. They are problematic
much.
because their overuse has diminished their impact and because they require several words
Jargon or technical terms that make readers work unnecessarily hard. Maybe you need
where just one would do.
to use some of these words because they are important terms in your field, but don’t throw
them in just to “sound smart.” The main way to avoid clichés is first to recognize them and then to create shorter, fresher
Example: The dialectical interface between neo-Platonists and anti-disestablishment equivalents. Ask yourself if there is one word that means the same thing as the cliché. If there
Catholics offers an algorithm for deontological thought. isn’t, can you use two or three words to state the idea your own way? Below you will see five
Revision: The dialogue between neo-Platonists and certain Catholic thinkers is a model for common clichés, with some alternatives to their right. As a challenge, see how many
deontological thought. alternatives you can create for the final two examples.
Loaded language. Sometimes we as writers know what we mean by a certain word, but
we haven’t ever spelled that out for readers. We rely too heavily on that word, perhaps Agree to disagree Disagree
repeating it often, without clarifying what we are talking about. Dead as a doornail Dead
Example: Society teaches young girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order Last but not least Last
to prevent eating disorders and other health problems, we must change society.
Pushing the envelope Approaching the limit
Revision: Contemporary American popular media, like magazines and movies, teach young
Up in the air Unknown/undecided
girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order to prevent eating disorders and
other health problems, we must change the images and role models girls are offered. Try these yourself:

Wordiness
Play it by ear _____?_____
Sometimes the problem isn’t choosing exactly the right word to express an idea—it’s being Let the cat out of the bag _____?_____
“wordy,” or using words that your reader may regard as “extra” or inefficient. Take a look at Writing for an academic audience

 
When you choose words to express your ideas, you have to think not only about what makes
sense and sounds best to you, but what will make sense and sound best to your readers.
Thinking about your audience and their expectations will help you make decisions about word
choice.
Some writers think that academic audiences expect them to “sound smart” by using big or
technical words. But the most important goal of academic writing is not to sound smart—it is to
communicate an argument or information clearly and convincingly. It is true that academic
writing has a certain style of its own and that you, as a student, are beginning to learn to read
and write in that style. You may find yourself using words and grammatical constructions that
you didn’t use in your high school writing. The danger is that if you consciously set out to
“sound smart” and use words or structures that are very unfamiliar to you, you may produce
sentences that your readers can’t understand.
When writing for your professors, think simplicity. Using simple words does not indicate simple
thoughts. In an academic argument paper, what makes the thesis and argument sophisticated
are the connections presented in simple, clear language.
Keep in mind, though, that simple and clear doesn’t necessarily mean casual. Most instructors
will not be pleased if your paper looks like an instant message or an email to a friend. It’s
usually best to avoid slang and colloquialisms. Take a look at this example and ask yourself how
a professor would probably respond to it if it were the thesis statement of a paper: “Moulin
Rouge really bit because the singing sucked and the costume colors were nasty, KWIM?”
Selecting and using key terms
When writing academic papers, it is often helpful to find key terms and use them within your
paper as well as in your thesis. This section comments on the crucial difference between
repetition and redundancy of terms and works through an example of using key terms in a
thesis statement.
Repetition vs. redundancy
These two phenomena are not necessarily the same. Repetition can be a good thing.
Sometimes we have to use our key terms several times within a paper, especially in topic
sentences. Sometimes there is simply no substitute for the key terms, and selecting a weaker
term as a synonym can do more harm than good. Repeating key terms emphasizes important
points and signals to the reader that the argument is still being supported. This kind of
repetition can give your paper cohesion and is done by conscious choice.
In contrast, if you find yourself frustrated, tiredly repeating the same nouns, verbs, or
adjectives, or making the same point over and over, you are probably being redundant. In this
case, you are swimming aimlessly around the same points because you have not decided what
your argument really is or because you are truly fatigued and clarity escapes you. Refer to the
“Strategies” section below for ideas on revising for redundancy.

Building clear thesis statements
Writing clear sentences is important throughout your writing. For the purposes of this handout,
let’s focus on the thesis statement—one of the most important sentences in academic argument
papers. You can apply these ideas to other sentences in your papers.
A common problem with writing good thesis statements is finding the words that best capture
both the important elements and the significance of the essay’s argument. It is not always easy
to condense several paragraphs or several pages into concise key terms that, when combined in
one sentence, can effectively describe the argument.
However, taking the time to find the right words offers writers a significant edge. Concise and
appropriate terms will help both the writer and the reader keep track of what the essay will
show and how it will show it. Graders, in particular, like to see clearly stated thesis statements.
(For more on thesis statements in general, please refer to our handout.)
Example: You’ve been assigned to write an essay that contrasts the river and shore scenes in
Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn. You work on it for several days, producing three versions of
your thesis:
Version 1: There are many important river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn.
Version 2: The contrasting river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn suggest a return
to nature.
Version 3: Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn
suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must
leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.
Let’s consider the word choice issues in these statements. In Version 1, the word “important”—
like “interesting”—is both overused and vague; it suggests that the author has an opinion but
gives very little indication about the framework of that opinion. As a result, your reader knows
only that you’re going to talk about river and shore scenes, but not what you’re going to say.
Version 2 is an improvement: the words “return to nature” give your reader a better idea where
the paper is headed. On the other hand, she still does not know how this return to nature is
crucial to your understanding of the novel.
Finally, you come up with Version 3, which is a stronger thesis because it offers a sophisticated
argument and the key terms used to make this argument are clear. At least three key terms or
concepts are evident: the contrast between river and shore scenes, a return to nature, and
American democratic ideals.
By itself, a key term is merely a topic—an element of the argument but not the argument itself.
The argument, then, becomes clear to the reader through the way in which you combine key
terms.

Strategies for successful word choice
1. Be careful when using words you are unfamiliar with. Look at how they are used in context
and check their dictionary definitions.
2. Be careful when using the thesaurus. Each word listed as a synonym for the word you’re
looking up may have its own unique connotations or shades of meaning. Use a dictionary to
be sure the synonym you are considering really fits what you are trying to say.
3. Don’t try to impress your reader or sound unduly authoritative. For example, which
sentence is clearer to you: “a” or “b”?
a. Under the present conditions of our society, marriage practices generally demonstrate
a high degree of homogeneity.
b. In our culture, people tend to marry others who are like themselves. (Longman, p.
452)
4. Before you revise for accurate and strong adjectives, make sure you are first using accurate
and strong nouns and verbs. For examlpe, if you were revising the sentence “This is a good
book that tells about the Civil War,” think about whether “book” and “tells” are as strong as
they could be before you worry about “good.” (A stronger sentence might read “The novel
describes the experiences of a Confederate soldier during the Civil War.” “Novel” tells us
what kind of book it is, and “describes” tells us more about how the book communicates
information.)
5. Try the slash/option technique, which is like brainstorming as you write. When you get
stuck, write out two or more choices for a questionable word or a confusing sentence, e.g.,
“questionable/inaccurate/vague/inappropriate.” Pick the word that best indicates your
meaning or combine different terms to say what you mean.
6. Look for repetition. When you find it, decide if it is “good” repetition (using key terms that
are crucial and helpful to meaning) or “bad” repetition (redundancy or laziness in reusing
words).
7. Write your thesis in five different ways. Make five different versions of your thesis
sentence. Compose five sentences that express your argument. Try to come up with four
alternatives to the thesis sentence you’ve already written. Find five possible ways to
communicate your argument in one sentence to your reader. (We’ve just used this
technique—which of the last five sentences do you prefer?)
Whenever we write a sentence we make choices. Some are less obvious than others, so
that it can often feel like we’ve written the sentence the only way we know how. By writing
out five different versions of your thesis, you can begin to see your range of choices. The
final version may be a combination of phrasings and words from all five versions, or the
one version that says it best. By literally spelling out some possibilities for yourself, you will
be able to make better decisions.
8. Read your paper out loud and at… a… slow… pace. You can do this alone or with a friend,
roommate, TA, etc. When read out loud, your written words should make sense to both you
and other listeners. If a sentence seems confusing, rewrite it to make the meaning clear.

9. Instead of reading the paper itself, put it down and just talk through your argument as
concisely as you can. If your listener quickly and easily comprehends your essay’s main
point and significance, you should then make sure that your written words are as clear as
your oral presentation was. If, on the other hand, your listener keeps asking for
clarification, you will need to work on finding the right terms for your essay. If you do this
in exchange with a friend or classmate, rest assured that whether you are the talker or the
listener, your articulation skills will develop.
10. Have someone not familiar with the issue read the paper and point out words or sentences
he/she finds confusing. Do not brush off this reader’s confusion by assuming he or she
simply doesn’t know enough about the topic. Instead, rewrite the sentences so that your
“outsider” reader can follow along at all times.
11. Check out the Writing Center’s handouts on style, passive voice, and proofreading for more
tips.
Questions to ask yourself
Am I sure what each word I use really means? Am I positive, or should I look it up?
Have I found the best word or just settled for the most obvious, or the easiest, one?
Am I trying too hard to impress my reader?
What’s the easiest way to write this sentence? (Sometimes it helps to answer this question
by trying it out loud. How would you say it to someone?)
What are the key terms of my argument?
Can I outline out my argument using only these key terms? What others do I need? Which
do I not need?
Have I created my own terms, or have I simply borrowed what looked like key ones from
the assignment? If I’ve borrowed the terms, can I find better ones in my own vocabulary,
the texts, my notes, the dictionary, or the thesaurus to make myself clearer?
Are my key terms too specific? (Do they cover the entire range of my argument?) Can I
think of specific examples from my sources that fall under the key term?
Are my key terms too vague? (Do they cover more than the range of my argument?)
Works consulted/additional resources
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
The American Heritage Book of English Usage: A Practical and Authoritative Guide to
Contemporary English (Boston: Houghton, 1996).
Anson, Chris M. and Robert A. Schwegler. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers, 2nd
ed. (New York: Addison, 2001).

Grossman, Ellie. The Grammatically Correct Handbook: A Lively and Unorthodox Review of
Common English for the Linguistically Challenged (New York: Hyperion, 1997).

Cook, Claire Kehrwald. Line by Line: How to Improve Your Own Writing (Boston: Houghton,
1985).
Writing Concisely
O’Conner, Patricia C. Woe is I: The Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English
(New York: Putnam, 1996).

Tarshis, Barry. How to be Your Own Best Edito:r The Toolkit for Everyone Who Writes (New
York: Three Rivers P, 1998). This handout helps you identify wordiness in your sentences, paragraphs, and essays and offers
strategies for writing concisely.
Williams, Joseph. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace, 6th ed. (New York, Addison, 2001).

Identifying and addressing wordiness in sentences

If you are a student, pay close attention to your instructors’ comments on your essays. Have
they written things like “wordy,” “passive voice,” “filler” or “irrelevant”? By learning to write
concisely, you will be able to fill your papers with more substantive information. Getting to the
point promptly can help you become a clearer thinker and a more engaging writer.

Outside of school, writing concisely can help you create more effective business letters, email
messages, memos, and other documents. Busy readers appreciate getting the information they
need quickly and easily.

Here are some strategies to help you identify wordiness and decide whether, and how, to revise
it. At times, you may choose to keep a sentence just as it is, even though there are more
concise ways to express your idea: you might, for example, use repetition to emphasize a point
or include a redundant pair of words (a subject we’re just about to discuss) to create a certain
rhythm. What’s important is that you make a conscious choice.

1. Eliminate redundant pairs

When the first word in a pair has roughly the same meaning as the second, choose one.

Common examples of redundant pairs include: full and complete, each and every, hopes and
dreams, whole entire, first and foremost, true and accurate, always and forever.

Example: For each and every book you purchase, you will receive a free bookmark.

Revision: For every book you purchase, you will receive a free bookmark.

2. Delete unnecessary qualifiers

Often we use qualifiers that really aren’t necessary to express our meaning (such as “really” in
this sentence). By deleting unnecessary qualifiers, you can often eliminate one or two words
per sentence. Tweaks like this may not seem like much, but they can add up.

 
Common qualifiers include: actually, really, basically, probably, very, definitely, somewhat, kind
of, extremely, practically.
Example: Because a great many of the words in this sentence are basically unnecessary, it
would really be a very good idea to edit somewhat for conciseness.
Revision: Because many of the words in this sentence are unnecessary, we should edit it.
3. Identify and reduce prepositional phrases
Overuse of prepositional phrases (which begin with words like “in,” “for,” “at,” “on,” “through,”
and “over”) can make a sentence clunky and unclear. To locate this problem, circle the
prepositions in your draft and see whether you can eliminate any prepositional phrases without
losing your meaning. Sometimes the easiest way to revise a wordy sentence is to ask yourself
“What do I really mean here?” and then write a new sentence; this approach can be more
efficient than just tinkering with your existing sentence.
Example: The reason for the failure of the basketball team of the University of North Carolina in
the Final Four game against the team from Kansas was that on that day and at that time, some
players were frequently unable to rebound the ball
Revision: UNC’s basketball team lost the Final Four game against Kansas because it could not
consistently rebound the ball.
4. Locate and delete unnecessary modifiers
Sometimes the meaning of a word or phrase implies its modifier, making the modifier
unnecessary.
Example: Do not try to anticipate in advance those events that will completely revolutionize
society.
In this example, “anticipate” already implies that something is in advance, and “revolutionize”
already implies that something will be completely changed.
Revision: Do not try to anticipate revolutionary events.
5. Replace a phrase with a word
Many commonly-used phrases can be replaced with single words. These phrases often crop up
in writing that requires a formal tone, but they detract from, rather than add to, meaning.
Common phrases that can be replaced with single words include:
The reason for, due to the fact that, in light of the fact that, given the fact that, and considering
the fact that can be replaced with because, since, or why.
In the event that and under circumstances in which can be replaced with if.

It is necessary that and cannot be avoided can be replaced with must or should.
For the purpose of can often be replaced with an infinitive verb (the “to ____” form of the
verb).
Example: In the event that going out for the purpose of eating with them cannot be avoided, it
is necessary that we first go to the ATM, in light of the fact that I am out of cash.
Revision: If we must go out to eat with them, we should first go to the ATM because I am out of
cash.
For more examples of common phrases that can be replaced with a word, see the Writing
Center’s handout on style.
6. Identify negatives and change them to affirmatives
Expressing ideas in negative form means you must use an extra word; it also makes readers
work harder to figure out your meaning.
Example: If you do not have more than five years of experience, do not call for an interview if
you have not already spoken to human resources.
Revision: Applicants with more than five years of experience can bypass human resources and
call for an interview.
Passive voice
In an active sentence, the subject (the person or thing doing the action) comes first. In a
passive sentence, the order of the words is different-the object (the thing that is receiving the
action) comes first, and the subject appears at the end of the sentence or isn’t included at all.
To spot the passive voice, look at the main verb of each sentence-if there’s a form of “be” (am,
is, are, was, were) and a past tense verb (many end with -ed), the sentence may be passive.
The passive voice is not a grammatical error, and it can be useful, especially in scientific
writing. But writing in the passive voice often leads to using more words than necessary.
Passive sentences can also frustrate or confuse your readers, who must wait patiently to find
out who or what did the action of the sentence.
Example: The 1780 constitution of Massachusetts was written by John Adams.
In this passive construction, the meaning of the sentence is clear, but there are more words
than necessary. To make this sentence more concise, move the subject to the front and get rid
of the “to be” verb (in this case, “was”).
Revision: John Adams wrote the 1780 Massachusetts Constitution.
Another example: The letter was taken to the mailbox by Sally.

Revision: Sally took the letter to the mailbox. guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.

Writing concise papers

Lanham, Richard A. Revising Prose, 3rd ed. New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1992.

Now that you know how to avoid wordiness at the sentence level, you may want to try some
additional strategies to use the space in your papers efficiently.
Think about your argument
Cook, Claire Kehrwald. Line by Line: How to Improve your Own Writing, Boston: Houghton
Mifflin Company, 1985.
Williams, Joseph M. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity & Grace, 4th ed. New York: HarperCollins
College Publishers, 1994.

What is the thesis of your paper? What exactly are you trying to accomplish? And what are
components of your paper are necessary to prove your argument? In a thesis-driven essay,
every part of your paper should be geared toward proving that argument. Sometimes this proof
will come in the form of direct evidence supporting your thesis; other times you will be
addressing counterarguments.

Every paragraph in your essay must have a purpose. When revising, critically examine each
paragraph and ask yourself whether it is necessary to your overall thesis. You may decide to
cut some paragraphs. This process could be painful, especially if you have done a lot of
research you’d like to include or need more words to meet a page limit, but it will strengthen
your paper.

Think about your audience

Not all types of writing are thesis-driven, but all writing has an intended audience. When
writing, you should always have your readers in mind and consider what they need to know.

Example: When writing a paper for your psychology class on Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams,
you probably do not have to start by saying “Sigmund Freud is one of the most famous
psychiatrists of all time.” In most college papers, you should imagine that your audience is
composed of intelligent readers who are not taking your class and are not experts on your
current topic. Most educated readers will know who Freud is and will not need such a general
reminder.

Example: When applying to the business school and working on your one-page resume, rather
than using a small font and trying to include every job and activity you took part in, think about
your audience and the information they will most need to evaluate your application.

Knowing how to write concisely will serve you well in many situations. For more information on
writing concisely, please consult the works below.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For

 
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Abstracts
This handout provides definitions and examples of the two main types of abstracts: descriptive
and informative. It also provides guidelines for constructing an abstract and general tips for you
to keep in mind when drafting. Finally, it includes a few examples of abstracts broken down into
their component parts.
What is an abstract?
An abstract is a self-contained, short, and powerful statement that describes a larger work.
Components vary according to discipline; an abstract of a social science or scientific work may
contain the scope, purpose, results, and contents of the work. An abstract of a humanities work
may contain the thesis, background, and conclusion of the larger work. An abstract is not a
review, nor does it evaluate the work being abstracted. While it contains key words found in the
larger work, the abstract is an original document rather than an excerpted passage.
Why write an abstract?
You may write an abstract for various reasons. The two most important are selection and
indexing. Abstracts allow readers who may be interested in a longer work to quickly decide
whether it is worth their time to read it. Also, many online databases use abstracts to index
larger works. Therefore, abstracts should contain keywords and phrases that allow for easy
searching.
Selection
Say you are beginning a research project on how Brazilian newspapers helped Brazil’s ultra-
liberal president Luiz Ignácio da Silva wrest power from the traditional, conservative power
base. A good first place to start your research is to search Dissertation Abstracts International
for all dissertations that deal with the interaction between newspapers and politics.
“Newspapers and politics” returned 569 hits. A more selective search of “newspapers and
Brazil” returned 22 hits. That is still a fair number of dissertations. Titles can sometimes help
winnow the field, but many titles are not very descriptive. For example, one dissertation is titled
“Rhetoric and Riot in Rio de Janeiro.” It is unclear from the title what this dissertation has to do
with newspapers in Brazil. One option would be to download or order the entire dissertation on
the chance that it might speak specifically to the topic. A better option is to read the abstract.
In this case, the abstract reveals the main focus of the dissertation:
 
This dissertation examines the role of newspaper editors in the political turmoil and
strife that characterized late First Empire Rio de Janeiro (1827-1831). Newspaper
editors and their journals helped change the political culture of late First Empire Rio de
Janeiro by involving the people in the discussion of state. This change in political
culture is apparent in Emperor Pedro I’s gradual loss of control over the mechanisms of
power. As the newspapers became more numerous and powerful, the Emperor lost his
legitimacy in the eyes of the people. To explore the role of the newspapers in the
political events of the late First Empire, this dissertation analyzes all available
newspapers published in Rio de Janeiro from 1827 to 1831. Newspapers and their
editors were leading forces in the effort to remove power from the hands of the ruling
elite and place it under the control of the people. In the process, newspapers helped
change how politics operated in the constitutional monarchy of Brazil.
From this abstract you now know that although the dissertation has nothing to do with modern
Brazilian politics, it does cover the role of newspapers in changing traditional mechanisms of
power. After reading the abstract, you can make an informed judgment about whether the
dissertation would be worthwhile to read.
Indexing
Besides selection, the other main purpose of the abstract is for indexing. Most article databases
in the online catalog of the library enable you to search abstracts. This allows for quick retrieval
by users and limits the extraneous items recalled by a “full-text” search. However, for an
abstract to be useful in an online retrieval system, it must incorporate the key terms that a
potential researcher would use to search. For example, if you search Dissertation Abstracts
International using the keywords “France” “revolution” and “politics,” the search engine would
search through all the abstracts in the database that included those three words. Without an
abstract, the search engine would be forced to search titles, which, as we have seen, may not
be fruitful, or else search the full text. It’s likely that a lot more than 60 dissertations have been
written with those three words somewhere in the body of the entire work. By incorporating
keywords into the abstract, the author emphasizes the central topics of the work and gives
prospective readers enough information to make an informed judgment about the applicability
of the work.
When do people write abstracts?
when submitting articles to journals, especially online journals
when applying for research grants
when writing a book proposal
when completing the Ph.D. dissertation or M.A. thesis
when writing a proposal for a conference paper
when writing a proposal for a book chapter
Most often, the author of the entire work (or prospective work) writes the abstract. However,
there are professional abstracting services that hire writers to draft abstracts of other people’s
work. In a work with multiple authors, the first author usually writes the abstract.
Undergraduates are sometimes asked to draft abstracts of books/articles for classmates who
have not read the larger work.
Types of abstracts
There are two types of abstracts: descriptive and informative. They have different aims, so
as a consequence they have different components and styles. There is also a third type called
critical, but it is rarely used. If you want to find out more about writing a critique or a review
of a work, see the handout on writing a review. If you are unsure which
type of abstract you should write, ask your instructor (if the abstract is for a class) or read
other abstracts in your field or in the journal where you are submitting your article.
Descriptive abstracts
A descriptive abstract indicates the type of information found in the work. It makes no
judgments about the work, nor does it provide results or conclusions of the research. It does
incorporate key words found in the text and may include the purpose, methods, and scope of
the research. Essentially, the descriptive abstract describes the work being abstracted. Some
people consider it an outline of the work, rather than a summary. Descriptive abstracts are
usually very short—100 words or less.
Informative abstracts
The majority of abstracts are informative. While they still do not critique or evaluate a work,
they do more than describe it. A good informative abstract acts as a surrogate for the work
itself. That is, the writer presents and explains all the main arguments and the important
results and evidence in the complete article/paper/book. An informative abstract includes the
information that can be found in a descriptive abstract (purpose, methods, scope) but also
includes the results and conclusions of the research and the recommendations of the author.
The length varies according to discipline, but an informative abstract is rarely more than 10%
of the length of the entire work. In the case of a longer work, it may be much less.
Here are examples of a descriptive and an informative abstract of this handout:
“Abstracts,” CH
<http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/abstracts.html>
Descriptive abstract:
The two most common abstract types—descriptive and informative—are described and
examples of each are provided.
Informative abstract:
 
Abstracts present the essential elements of a longer work in a short and powerful
statement. The purpose of an abstract is to provide prospective readers the opportunity
to judge the relevance of the longer work to their projects. Abstracts also include the
key terms found in the longer work and the purpose and methods of the research.
Authors abstract various longer works, including book proposals, dissertations, and
online journal articles. There are two main types of abstracts: descriptive and
informative. A descriptive abstract briefly describes the longer work, while an
informative abstract presents all the main arguments and important results. This
handout provides examples of various types of abstracts and instructions on how to
construct one.
Which type should I use?
Your best bet in this case is to ask your instructor or refer to the instructions provided by the
publisher. You can also make a guess based on the length allowed; i.e., 100-120 words =
descriptive; 250+ words = informative.
How do I write an abstract?
The format of your abstract will depend on the work being abstracted. An abstract of a scientific
research paper will contain elements not found in an abstract of a literature article, and vice
versa. However, all abstracts share several mandatory components, and there are also some
optional parts that you can decide to include or not. When preparing to draft your abstract,
keep the following key process elements in mind:
Key process elements:
1. Reason for writing:
What is the importance of the research? Why would a reader be interested in the larger
work?
2. Problem:
What problem does this work attempt to solve? What is the scope of the project? What is
the main argument/thesis/claim?
3. Methodology:
An abstract of a scientific work may include specific models or approaches used in the
larger study. Other abstracts may describe the types of evidence used in the research.
4. Results:
Again, an abstract of a scientific work may include specific data that indicates the results of
the project. Other abstracts may discuss the findings in a more general way.
5. Implications:
What changes should be implemented as a result of the findings of the work? How does this
work add to the body of knowledge on the topic?
(This list of element is adapted with permission from Phil Koopman, “How to Write an
Abstract,”http://www.ece.cmu.edu/~koopman/essays/abstract.html.)
All abstracts include:
1. A full citation of the source, preceding the abstract.
2. The most important information first.
3. The same type and style of language found in the original, including technical language.
4. Key words and phrases that quickly identify the content and focus of the work.
5. Clear, concise, and powerful language.
Abstracts may include:
1. The thesis of the work, usually in the first sentence.
2. Background information that places the work in the larger body of literature.
3. The same chronological structure as the original work.
How not to write a abstract:
1. Do not refer extensively to other works.
2. Do not add information not contained in the original work.
3. Do not define terms.
If you are abstracting your own writing
When abstracting your own work, it may be difficult to condense a piece of writing that you
have agonized over for weeks (or months, or even years) into a 250-word statement. There are
some tricks that you could use to make it easier, however.
Reverse outlining:
This technique is commonly used when you are having trouble organizing your own writing. The
process involves writing down the main idea of each paragraph on a separate piece of paper.
For the purposes of writing an abstract, try grouping the main ideas of each section of the
paper into a single sentence. For a scientific paper, you may have sections titled Purpose,
Methods, Results, and Discussion. Each one of these sections will be longer than one paragraph,
but each is grouped around a central idea. Use reverse outlining to discover the central idea in
each section and then distill these ideas into one statement.
Cut and paste:
To create a first draft of an abstract of your own work, you can read through the entire paper
and cut and paste sentences that capture key passages. This technique is useful for social
science research with findings that cannot be encapsulated by neat numbers or concrete
results. A well-written humanities draft will have a clear and direct thesis statement and
informative topic sentences for paragraphs or sections. Isolate these sentences in a separate
document and work on revising them into a unified paragraph.
If you are abstracting someone else’s writing
 
When abstracting something you have not written, you cannot summarize key ideas just by
cutting and pasting. Instead, you must determine what a prospective reader would want to
know about the work. There are a few techniques that will help you in this process:
Identify key terms:
Search through the entire document for key terms that identify the purpose, scope, and
methods of the work. Pay close attention to the Introduction (or Purpose) and the Conclusion
(or Discussion). These sections should contain all the main ideas and key terms in the paper.
When writing the abstract, be sure to incorporate the key terms.
Highlight key phrases and sentences:
Instead of cutting and pasting the actual words, try highlighting sentences or phrases that
appear to be central to the work. Then, in a separate document, rewrite the sentences and
phrases in your own words.
Don’t look back:
After reading the entire work, put it aside and write a paragraph about the work without
referring to it. In the first draft, you may not remember all the key terms or the results, but
you will remember what the main point of the work was. Remember not to include any
information you did not get from the work being abstracted.
Revise, revise, revise
No matter what type of abstract you are writing, or whether you are abstracting your own work
or someone else’s, the most important step in writing an abstract is to revise early and often.
When revising, delete all extraneous words and incorporate meaningful and powerful words.
The idea is to be as clear and complete as possible in the shortest possible amount of space.
The Word Count feature of Microsoft Word can help you keep track of how long your abstract is
and help you hit your target length.
Example 1: Humanities abstract
Kenneth Tait Andrews, “‘Freedom is a constant struggle’: The dynamics and consequences of
the Mississippi Civil Rights Movement, 1960-1984
Ph.D. State University of New York at Stony
Brook, 1997 DAI-A 59/02, p. 620, Aug 1998
This dissertation examines the impacts of social movements through a multi-layered
study of the Mississippi Civil Rights Movement from its peak in the early 1960s through
the early 1980s. By examining this historically important case, I clarify the process by
which movements transform social structures and the constraints movements face
when they try to do so. The time period studied includes the expansion of voting rights
and gains in black political power, the desegregation of public schools and the
 emergence of white-flight academies, and the rise and fall of federal anti-poverty
programs. I use two major research strategies: (1) a quantitative analysis of county-
level data and (2) three case studies. Data have been collected from archives,
interviews, newspapers, and published reports. This dissertation challenges the
argument that movements are inconsequential. Some view federal agencies, courts,
political parties, or economic elites as the agents driving institutional change, but
typically these groups acted in response to the leverage brought to bear by the civil
rights movement. The Mississippi movement attempted to forge independent structures
for sustaining challenges to local inequities and injustices. By propelling change in an
array of local institutions, movement infrastructures had an enduring legacy in
Mississippi.
Now let’s break down this abstract into its component parts to see how the author has distilled
his entire dissertation into a ~200 word abstract.
What the dissertation does
This dissertation examines the impacts of social movements through a multi-layered study of
the Mississippi Civil Rights Movement from its peak in the early 1960s through the early 1980s.
By examining this historically important case, I clarify the process by which movements
transform social structures and the constraints movements face when they try to do so.
How the dissertation does it
The time period studied in this dissertation includes the expansion of voting rights and gains in
black political power, the desegregation of public schools and the emergence of white-flight
academies, and the rise and fall of federal anti-poverty programs. I use two major research
strategies: (1) a quantitative analysis of county-level data and (2) three case studies.
What materials are used
Data have been collected from archives, interviews, newspapers, and published reports.
Conclusion
This dissertation challenges the argument that movements are inconsequential. Some view
federal agencies, courts, political parties, or economic elites as the agents driving institutional
change, but typically these groups acted in response to movement demands and the leverage
brought to bear by the civil rights movement. The Mississippi movement attempted to forge
independent structures for sustaining challenges to local inequities and injustices. By propelling
change in an array of local institutions, movement infrastructures had an enduring legacy in
Mississippi.
Keywords
social movements
Civil Rights Movement
 
Mississippi
voting rights
desegregation
Example 2: Science Abstract
Luis Lehner, “Gravitational radiation from black hole spacetimes” Ph.D. University of Pittsburgh,
1998 DAI-B 59/06, p. 2797, Dec 1998
The problem of detecting gravitational radiation is receiving considerable attention with
the construction of new detectors in the United States, Europe, and Japan. The
theoretical modeling of the wave forms that would be produced in particular systems
will expedite the search for and analysis of detected signals. The characteristic
formulation of GR is implemented to obtain an algorithm capable of evolving black
holes in 3D asymptotically flat spacetimes. Using compactification techniques, future
null infinity is included in the evolved region, which enables the unambiguous
calculation of the radiation produced by some compact source. A module to calculate
the waveforms is constructed and included in the evolution algorithm. This code is
shown to be second-order convergent and to handle highly non-linear spacetimes. In
particular, we have shown that the code can handle spacetimes whose radiation is
equivalent to a galaxy converting its whole mass into gravitational radiation in one
second. We further use the characteristic formulation to treat the region close to the
singularity in black hole spacetimes. The code carefully excises a region surrounding
the singularity and accurately evolves generic black hole spacetimes with apparently
unlimited stability.
This science abstract covers much of the same ground as the humanities one, but it asks
slightly different questions.
Why do this study
The problem of detecting gravitational radiation is receiving considerable attention with the
construction of new detectors in the United States, Europe, and Japan. The theoretical modeling
of the wave forms that would be produced in particular systems will expedite the search and
analysis of the detected signals.
What the study does
The characteristic formulation of GR is implemented to obtain an algorithm capable of evolving
black holes in 3D asymptotically flat spacetimes. Using compactification techniques, future null
infinity is included in the evolved region, which enables the unambiguous calculation of the
radiation produced by some compact source. A module to calculate the waveforms is
constructed and included in the evolution algorithm.
Results
This code is shown to be second-order convergent and to handle highly non-linear spacetimes.
In particular, we have shown that the code can handle spacetimes whose radiation is equivalent
to a galaxy converting its whole mass into gravitational radiation in one second. We further use
the characteristic formulation to treat the region close to the singularity in black hole
spacetimes. The code carefully excises a region surrounding the singularity and accurately
evolves generic black hole spacetimes with apparently unlimited stability.
Keywords
gravitational radiation (GR)
spacetimes
black holes
Works consulted
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
Koopman, Phil. “How to Write an Abstract.”
<http://www.ece.cmu.edu/~koopman/essays/abstract.html> accessed 15 April 2004.
Lancaster, F.W. Indexing and Abstracting in Theory and Practice, 3rd edition. (London: Facet,
2003), 95.
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. “Abstracts.”
<http://www.rpi.edu/dept/llc/writecenter/web/abstracts.html> accessed 2 February 2004.
St. Cloud University. “LEO Writing Abstracts.”
<http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/bizwrite/abstracts.html> accessed: 2 February 2004

Argument
This handout will define what an argument is and explain why you need one in most of your
academic essays.
Arguments are everywhere
You may be surprised to hear that the word “argument” does not have to be written anywhere
in your assignment for it to be an important part of your task. In fact, making an argument—
expressing a point of view on a subject and supporting it with evidence—is often the aim of
academic writing. Your instructors may assume that you know this and thus may not explain
the importance of arguments in class.
Most material you learn in college is or has been debated by someone, somewhere, at some
time. Even when the material you read or hear is presented as simple “fact,” it may actually be
one person’s interpretation of a set of information. Instructors may call on you to examine that
interpretation and defend it, refute it, or offer some new view of your own. In writing
assignments, you will almost always need to do more than just summarize information that you
have gathered or regurgitate facts that have been discussed in class. You will need to develop a
point of view on or interpretation of that material and provide evidence for your position.
If you think that “fact,” not argument, rules intelligent thinking, consider an example. For
nearly 2000 years, educated people in many Western cultures believed that bloodletting—
deliberately causing a sick person to lose blood—was the most effective treatment for a variety
of illnesses. The “fact” that bloodletting is beneficial to human health was not widely questioned
until the 1800
s, and some physicians continued to recommend bloodletting as late as the
1920
s. We have come to accept a different set of “facts” now because some people began to
doubt the effectiveness of bloodletting; these people argued against it and provided convincing
evidence. Human knowledge grows out of such differences of opinion, and scholars like your
instructors spend their lives engaged in debate over what may be counted as “true,” “real,” or
“right” in their fields. In their courses, they want you to engage in similar kinds of critical
thinking and debate.
Argumentation is not just what your instructors do. We all use argumentation on a daily basis,
and you probably already have some skill at crafting an argument. The more you improve your
skills in this area, the better you will be at thinking critically, reasoning, making choices, and
weighing evidence.

Making a claim
What is an argument? In academic writing, an argument is usually a main idea, often called a
“claim” or “thesis statement,” backed up with evidence that supports the idea. In the majority
of college papers, you will need to make some sort of claim and use evidence to support it, and
your ability to do this well will separate your papers from those of students who see
assignments as mere accumulations of fact and detail. In other words, gone are the happy days
of being given a “topic” about which you can write anything. It is time to stake out a position
and prove why it is a good position for a thinking person to hold.
Claims can be as simple as “Protons are positively charged and electrons are negatively
charged,” with evidence such as, “In this experiment, protons and electrons acted in such and
such a way.” Claims can also be as complex as “The end of the South African system of
apartheid was inevitable,” using reasoning and evidence such as, “Every successful revolution in
the modern era has come about after the government in power has given and then removed
small concessions to the uprising group.” In either case, the rest of your paper will detail the
reasoning and evidence that have led you to believe that your position is best.
When beginning to write a paper, ask yourself, “What is my point?” For example, the point of
this handout is to help you become a better writer, and we are arguing that an important step
in the process of writing effective arguments is understanding the concept of argumentation. If
your papers do not have a main point, they cannot be arguing for anything. Asking yourself
what your point is can help you avoid a mere “information dump.” Consider this: your
instructors probably know a lot more than you do about your subject matter. Why, then, would
you want to provide them with material they already know? Instructors are usually looking for
two things:
1. Proof that you understand the material, AND
2. A demonstration of your ability to use or apply the material in ways that go beyond what
you have read or heard.
This second part can be done in many ways: you can critique the material, apply it to
something else, or even just explain it in a different way. In order to succeed at this second
step, though, you must have a particular point to argue.
Arguments in academic writing are usually complex and take time to develop. Your argument
will need to be more than a simple or obvious statement such as “Frank Lloyd Wright was a
great architect.” Such a statement might capture your initial impressions of Wright as you have
studied him in class; however, you need to look deeper and express specifically what caused
that “greatness.” Your instructor will probably expect something more complicated, such as
“Frank Lloyd Wright’s architecture combines elements of European modernism, Asian aesthetic
form, and locally found materials to create a unique new style,” or “There are many strong
similarities between Wright’s building designs and those of his mother, which suggests that he
may have borrowed some of her ideas.” To develop your argument, you would then define your

terms and prove your claim with evidence from Wright’s drawings and buildings and those of
the other architects you mentioned.
Evidence
Do not stop with having a point. You have to back up your point with evidence. The strength of
your evidence, and your use of it, can make or break your argument. You already have the
natural inclination for this type of thinking, if not in an academic setting. Think about how you
talked your parents into letting you borrow the family car. Did you present them with lots of
instances of your past trustworthiness? Did you make them feel guilty because your friends’
parents all let them drive? Did you whine until they just wanted you to shut up? Did you look up
statistics on teen driving and use them to show how you didn’t fit the dangerous-driver profile?
These are all types of argumentation, and they exist in academia in similar forms.
Every field has slightly different requirements for acceptable evidence, so familiarize yourself
with some arguments from within that field instead of just applying whatever evidence you like
best. Pay attention to your textbooks and your instructor’s lectures. What types of argument
and evidence are they using? The type of evidence that sways an English instructor may not
work to convince a sociology instructor. Find out what counts as proof that something is true in
that field. Is it statistics, a logical development of points, something from the object being
discussed (art work, text, culture, or atom), the way something works, or some combination of
more than one of these things?
Be consistent with your evidence. Unlike negotiating for the use of your parents’ car, a college
paper is not the place for an all-out blitz of every type of argument. You can often use more
than one type of evidence within a paper, but make sure that within each section you are
providing the reader with evidence appropriate to each claim. So, if you start a paragraph or
section with a statement like “Putting the student seating area closer to the basketball court will
raise player performance,” do not follow with your evidence on how much more money the
university could raise by letting more students go to games for free. Information about how fan
support raises player morale, which then results in better play, would be a better follow-up.
Your next section could offer clear reasons why undergraduates have as much or more right to
attend an undergraduate event as wealthy alumni—but this information would not go in the
same section as the fan support stuff. You cannot convince a confused person, so keep things
tidy and ordered.
Counterargument
One way to strengthen your argument and show that you have a deep understanding of the
issue you are discussing is to anticipate and address counterarguments or objections. By
considering what someone who disagrees with your position might have to say about your
argument, you show that you have thought things through, and you dispose of some of the
reasons your audience might have for not accepting your argument. Recall our discussion of
student seating in the Dean Dome. To make the most effective argument possible, you should

consider not only what students would say about seating but also what alumni who have paid a
lot to get good seats might say.
You can generate counterarguments by asking yourself how someone who disagrees with you
might respond to each of the points you’ve made or your position as a whole. If you can’t
immediately imagine another position, here are some strategies to try:
Do some research. It may seem to you that no one could possibly disagree with the
position you are arguing, but someone probably has. For example, some people argue that
the American Civil War never ended. If you are making an argument concerning, for
example, the outcomes of the Civil War, you might wish to see what some of these people
have to say.
Talk with a friend or with your teacher. Another person may be able to imagine
counterarguments that haven’t occurred to you.
Consider your conclusion or claim and the premises of your argument and imagine
someone who denies each of them. For example, if you argued “Cats make the best pets.
This is because they are clean and independent,” you might imagine someone saying “Cats
do not make the best pets. They are dirty and needy.”
Once you have thought up some counterarguments, consider how you will respond to them—
will you concede that your opponent has a point but explain why your audience should
nonetheless accept your argument? Will you reject the counterargument and explain why it is
mistaken? Either way, you will want to leave your reader with a sense that your argument is
stronger than opposing arguments.
When you are summarizing opposing arguments, be charitable. Present each argument fairly
and objectively, rather than trying to make it look foolish. You want to show that you have
seriously considered the many sides of the issue and that you are not simply attacking or
caricaturing your opponents.
It is usually better to consider one or two serious counterarguments in some depth, rather than
to give a long but superficial list of many different counterarguments and replies.
Be sure that your reply is consistent with your original argument. If considering a
counterargument changes your position, you will need to go back and revise your original
argument accordingly.
Audience
Audience is a very important consideration in argument. A lifetime of dealing with your family
members has helped you figure out which arguments work best to persuade each of them.
Maybe whining works with one parent, but the other will only accept cold, hard statistics. Your
kid brother may listen only to the sound of money in his palm. It’s usually wise to think of your
audience in an academic setting as someone who is perfectly smart but who doesn’t necessarily
agree with you. You are not just expressing your opinion in an argument (“It’s true because I

said so”), and in most cases your audience will know something about the subject at hand—so
you will need sturdy proof. At the same time, do not think of your audience as clairvoyant. You
have to come out and state both your claim and your evidence clearly. Do not assume that
because the instructor knows the material, he or she understands what part of it you are using,
what you think about it, and why you have taken the position you’ve chosen.
Critical reading
Critical reading is a big part of understanding argument. Although some of the material you
read will be very persuasive, do not fall under the spell of the printed word as authority. Very
few of your instructors think of the texts they assign as the last word on the subject.
Remember that the author of every text has an agenda, something that he or she wants you to
believe. This is OK—everything is written from someone’s perspective—but it’s a good thing to
be aware of. (For more information on objectivity and bias, please read our handout on
evaluating print sources).
Take notes either in the margins of your source (if you are using a photocopy or your own
book) or on a separate sheet as you read. Put away that highlighter! Simply highlighting a text
is good for memorizing the main ideas in that text—it does not encourage critical reading. Part
of your goal as a reader should be to put the author’s ideas in your own words. Then you can
stop thinking of these ideas as facts and start thinking of them as arguments.
When you read, ask yourself questions like “What is the author trying to prove?” and “What is
the author assuming I will agree with?” Do you agree with the author? Does the author
adequately defend her argument? What kind of proof does she use? Is there something she
leaves out that you would put in? Does putting it in hurt her argument? As you get used to
reading critically, you will start to see the sometimes hidden agendas of other writers, and you
can use this skill to improve your own ability to craft effective arguments.
Works consulted
Anson, Chris M. and Robert A Schwegler. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers. 2nd
ed. New York, Longman, 2000.
Booth, Wayne C. The Craft of Research. 2nd ed. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2003.
Ede, Lisa. Work in Progress. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1989.
Gage, John T. The Shape of Reason: Argumentative Writing in College. New York: Macmillan
Publishing Company, 1991.
Lunsford, Andrea and John Ruszkiewicz. Everything’s an Argument. Boston/New York:
Bedford/St. Martin’s, 1999.
Rosen, Leonard J. and Laurence Behrens. The Allyn & Bacon Handbook. Boston: Allyn & Bacon,
1997.


Comparing and Contrasting
This handout will help you first to determine whether a particular assignment is asking for
comparison/contrast and then to generate a list of similarities and differences, decide which
similarities and differences to focus on, and organize your paper so that it will be clear and
effective. It will also explain how you can (and why you should) develop a thesis that goes
beyond “Thing A and Thing B are similar in many ways but different in others.”
Introduction
In your career as a student, you’ll encounter many different kinds of writing assignments, each
with its own requirements. One of the most common is the comparison/contrast essay, in which
you focus on the ways in which certain things or ideas—usually two of them—are similar to (this
is the comparison) and/or different from (this is the contrast) one another. By assigning such
essays, your instructors are encouraging you to make connections between texts or ideas,
engage in critical thinking, and go beyond mere description or summary to generate interesting
analysis: when you reflect on similarities and differences, you gain a deeper understanding of
the items you are comparing, their relationship to each other, and what is most important
about them.
Recognizing comparison/contrast in assignments
Some assignments use words—like compare, contrast, similarities, and differences—that make
it easy for you to see that they are asking you to compare and/or contrast. Here are a few
hypothetical examples:
Compare and contrast Frye’s and Bartky’s accounts of oppression.
Compare WWI to WWII, identifying similarities in the causes, development, and outcomes
of the wars.
Contrast Wordsworth and Coleridge; what are the major differences in their poetry?
Notice that some topics ask only for comparison, others only for contrast, and others for both.
But it’s not always so easy to tell whether an assignment is asking you to include
comparison/contrast. And in some cases, comparison/contrast is only part of the essay—you
begin by comparing and/or contrasting two or more things and then use what you’ve learned to
construct an argument or evaluation. Consider these examples, noticing the language that is

used to ask for the comparison/contrast and whether the comparison/contrast is only one part
of a larger assignment:
Choose a particular idea or theme, such as romantic love, death, or nature, and consider
how it is treated in two Romantic poems.
How do the different authors we have studied so far define and describe oppression?
Compare Frye’s and Bartky’s accounts of oppression. What does each imply about women’s
collusion in their own oppression? Which is more accurate?
In the texts we’ve studied, soldiers who served in different wars offer differing accounts of
their experiences and feelings both during and after the fighting. What commonalities are
there in these accounts? What factors do you think are responsible for their differences?
You may want to check out our handout on understanding assignments for additional tips.
Using comparison/contrast for all kinds of writing projects
Sometimes you may want to use comparison/contrast techniques in your own pre-writing work
to get ideas that you can later use for an argument, even if comparison/contrast isn’t an official
requirement for the paper you’re writing. For example, if you wanted to argue that Frye’s
account of oppression is better than both de Beauvoir’s and Bartky’s, comparing and
contrasting the main arguments of those three authors might help you construct your
evaluation—even though the topic may not have asked for comparison/contrast and the lists of
similarities and differences you generate may not appear anywhere in the final draft of your
paper.
Discovering similarities and differences
Making a Venn diagram or a chart can help you quickly and efficiently compare and contrast
two or more things or ideas. To make a Venn diagram, simply draw some overlapping circles,
one circle for each item you’re considering. In the central area where they overlap, list the
traits the two items have in common. Assign each one of the areas that doesn’t overlap; in
those areas, you can list the traits that make the things different. Here’s a very simple
example, using two pizza places:

To make a chart, figure out what criteria you want to focus on in comparing the items. Along
the left side of the page, list each of the criteria. Across the top, list the names of the items.
You should then have a box per item for each criterion; you can fill the boxes in and then
survey what you’ve discovered. Here’s an example, this time using three pizza places:
Pepper’s Amante Papa John’s
Location
Price
Delivery
Ingredients
Service
Seating/eating
in
Coupons
As you generate points of comparison, consider the purpose and content of the assignment and
the focus of the class. What do you think the professor wants you to learn by doing this
comparison/contrast? How does it fit with what you have been studying so far and with the
other assignments in the course? Are there any clues about what to focus on in the assignment
itself?
Here are some general questions about different types of things you might have to compare.
These are by no means complete or definitive lists; they’re just here to give you some ideas—
you can generate your own questions for these and other types of comparison. You may want
to begin by using the questions reporters traditionally ask: Who? What? Where? When? Why?
How? If you’re talking about objects, you might also consider general properties like size,
shape, color, sound, weight, taste, texture, smell, number, duration, and location.
Two historical periods or events
When did they occur—do you know the date(s) and duration? What happened or
changed during each? Why are they significant? What kinds of work did people do?
What kinds of relationships did they have? What did they value? What kinds of
governments were there? Who were important people involved? What caused events in
these periods, and what consequences did they have later on?
Two ideas or theories
What are they about? Did they originate at some particular time? Who created them?
Who uses or defends them? What is the central focus, claim, or goal of each? What
conclusions do they offer? How are they applied to situations/people/things/etc.? Which
seems more plausible to you, and why? How broad is their scope? What kind of
evidence is usually offered for them?

Two pieces of writing or art
What are their titles? What do they describe or depict? What is their tone or mood?
What is their form? Who created them? When were they created? Why do you think
they were created as they were? What themes do they address? Do you think one is of
higher quality or greater merit than the other(s)—and if so, why? For writing: what
plot, characterization, setting, theme, tone, and type of narration are used?
Two people
Where are they from? How old are they? What is the gender, race, class, etc. of each?
What, if anything, are they known for? Do they have any relationship to each other?
What are they like? What did/do they do? What do they believe? Why are they
interesting? What stands out most about each of them?
Deciding what to focus on
By now you have probably generated a huge list of similarities and differences—
congratulations! Next you must decide which of them are interesting, important, and relevant
enough to be included in your paper. Ask yourself these questions:
What’s relevant to the assignment?
What’s relevant to the course?
What’s interesting and informative?
What matters to the argument you are going to make?
What’s basic or central (and needs to be mentioned even if obvious)?
Overall, what’s more important—the similarities or the differences?
Suppose that you are writing a paper comparing two novels. For most literature classes, the
fact that they both use Calson type (a kind of typeface, like the fonts you may use in your
writing) is not going to be relevant, nor is the fact that one of them has a few illustrations and
the other has none; literature classes are more likely to focus on subjects like characterization,
plot, setting, the writer’s style and intentions, language, central themes, and so forth. However,
if you were writing a paper for a class on typesetting or on how illustrations are used to
enhance novels, the typeface and presence or absence of illustrations might be absolutely
critical to include in your final paper.
Sometimes a particular point of comparison or contrast might be relevant but not terribly
revealing or interesting. For example, if you are writing a paper about Wordsworth’s “Tintern
Abbey” and Coleridge’s “Frost at Midnight,” pointing out that they both have nature as a central
theme is relevant (comparisons of poetry often talk about themes) but not terribly interesting;
your class has probably already had many discussions about the Romantic poets’ fondness for
nature. Talking about the different ways nature is depicted or the different aspects of nature
that are emphasized might be more interesting and show a more sophisticated understanding
of the poems.

Your thesis
The thesis of your comparison/contrast paper is very important: it can help you create a
focused argument and give your reader a road map so she/he doesn’t get lost in the sea of
points you are about to make. As in any paper, you will want to replace vague reports of your
general topic (for example, “This paper will compare and contrast two pizza places,” or
“Pepper’s and Amante are similar in some ways and different in others,” or “Pepper’s and
Amante are similar in many ways, but they have one major difference”) with something more
detailed and specific. For example, you might say, “Pepper’s and Amante have similar prices
and ingredients, but their atmospheres and willingness to deliver set them apart.”
Be careful, though—although this thesis is fairly specific and does propose a simple argument
(that atmosphere and delivery make the two pizza places different), your instructor will often
be looking for a bit more analysis. In this case, the obvious question is “So what? Why should
anyone care that Pepper’s and Amante are different in this way?” One might also wonder why
the writer chose those two particular pizza places to compare—why not Papa John’s, Dominos,
or Pizza Hut? Again, thinking about the context the class provides may help you answer such
questions and make a stronger argument. Here’s a revision of the thesis mentioned earlier:
Pepper’s and Amante both offer a greater variety of ingredients than other Chapel
Hill/Carrboro pizza places (and than any of the national chains), but the funky, lively
atmosphere at Pepper’s makes it a better place to give visiting friends and family a
taste of local culture.
You may find our handout constructing thesis statements useful at this stage.
Organizing your paper
There are many different ways to organize a comparison/contrast essay. Here are two:
Subject-by-subject:
Begin by saying everything you have to say about the first subject you are
discussing, then move on and make all the points you want to make about the
second subject (and after that, the third, and so on, if you’re
comparing/contrasting more than two things). If the paper is short, you might be
able to fit all of your points about each item into a single paragraph, but it’s more
likely that you’d have several paragraphs per item. Using our pizza place
comparison/contrast as an example, after the introduction, you might have a
paragraph about the ingredients available at Pepper’s, a paragraph about its
location, and a paragraph about its ambience. Then you’d have three similar
paragraphs about Amante, followed by your conclusion.
The danger of this subject-by-subject organization is that your paper will simply be
a list of points: a certain number of points (in my example, three) about one
 
subject, then a certain number of points about another. This is usually not what
college instructors are looking for in a paper—generally they want you to compare
or contrast two or more things very directly, rather than just listing the traits the
things have and leaving it up to the reader to reflect on how those traits are similar
or different and why those similarities or differences matter. Thus, if you use the
subject-by-subject form, you will probably want to have a very strong, analytical
thesis and at least one body paragraph that ties all of your different points
together.
A subject-by-subject structure can be a logical choice if you are writing what is
sometimes called a “lens” comparison, in which you use one subject or item (which
isn’t really your main topic) to better understand another item (which is). For
example, you might be asked to compare a poem you’ve already covered
thoroughly in class with one you are reading on your own. It might make sense to
give a brief summary of your main ideas about the first poem (this would be your
first subject, the “lens”), and then spend most of your paper discussing how those
points are similar to or different from your ideas about the second.
Point-by-point:
Rather than addressing things one subject at a time, you may wish to talk about
one point of comparison at a time. There are two main ways this might play out,
depending on how much you have to say about each of the things you are
comparing. If you have just a little, you might, in a single paragraph, discuss how
a certain point of comparison/contrast relates to all the items you are discussing.
For example, I might describe, in one paragraph, what the prices are like at both
Pepper’s and Amante; in the next paragraph, I might compare the ingredients
available; in a third, I might contrast the atmospheres of the two restaurants.
If I had a bit more to say about the items I was comparing/contrasting, I might
devote a whole paragraph to how each point relates to each item. For example, I
might have a whole paragraph about the clientele at Pepper’s, followed by a whole
paragraph about the clientele at Amante; then I would move on and do two more
paragraphs discussing my next point of comparison/contrast—like the ingredients
available at each restaurant.
There are no hard and fast rules about organizing a comparison/contrast paper, of
course. Just be sure that your reader can easily tell what’s going on! Be aware,
too, of the placement of your different points. If you are writing a
comparison/contrast in service of an argument, keep in mind that the last point
you make is the one you are leaving your reader with. For example, if I am trying
to argue that Amante is better than Pepper’s, I should end with a contrast that
leaves Amante sounding good, rather than with a point of comparison that I have
to admit makes Pepper’s look better. If you’ve decided that the differences
between the items you’re comparing/contrasting are most important, you’ll want to
 end with the differences—and vice versa, if the similarities seem most important to
you.
Our handout on organization can help you write good topic sentences and transitions and make
sure that you have a good overall structure in place for your paper.
Cue words and other tips
To help your reader keep track of where you are in the comparison/contrast, you’ll want to be
sure that your transitions and topic sentences are especially strong. Your thesis should already
have given the reader an idea of the points you’ll be making and the organization you’ll be
using, but you can help her/him out with some extra cues. The following words may be helpful
to you in signaling your intentions:
like, similar to, also, unlike, similarly, in the same way, likewise, again, compared to, in
contrast, in like manner, contrasted with, on the contrary, however, although, yet,
even though, still, but, nevertheless, conversely, at the same time, regardless, despite,
while, on the one hand … on the other hand.
For example, you might have a topic sentence like one of these:
Compared to Pepper’s, Amante is quiet.
Like Amante, Pepper’s offers fresh garlic as a topping.
Despite their different locations (downtown Chapel Hill and downtown Carrboro), Pepper’s
and Amante are both fairly easy to get to.
Some additional websites about comparison/contrast papers
http://www.fas.harvard.edu/~wricntr/documents/CompAnalysis.html
http://depts.washington.edu/pswrite/compare.html

Conclusions
This handout will explain the functions of conclusions, offer strategies for writing effective ones,
help you evaluate your drafted conclusions, and suggest conclusion strategies to avoid.
About conclusions
Introductions and conclusions can be the most difficult parts of papers to write. While the body
is often easier to write, it needs a frame around it. An introduction and conclusion frame your
thoughts and bridge your ideas for the reader.
Just as your introduction acts as a bridge that transports your readers from their own lives into
the “place” of your analysis, your conclusion can provide a bridge to help your readers make
the transition back to their daily lives. Such a conclusion will help them see why all your
analysis and information should matter to them after they put the paper down.
Your conclusion is your chance to have the last word on the subject. The conclusion allows you
to have the final say on the issues you have raised in your paper, to summarize your thoughts,
to demonstrate the importance of your ideas, and to propel your reader to a new view of the
subject. It is also your opportunity to make a good final impression and to end on a positive
note.
Your conclusion can go beyond the confines of the assignment. The conclusion pushes beyond
the boundaries of the prompt and allows you to consider broader issues, make new
connections, and elaborate on the significance of your findings.
Your conclusion should make your readers glad they read your paper. Your conclusion gives
your reader something to take away that will help them see things differently or appreciate
your topic in personally relevant ways. It can suggest broader implications that will not only
interest your reader, but also enrich your reader’s life in some way. It is your gift to the reader.
Strategies for writing an effective conclusion
One or more of the following strategies may help you write an effective conclusion.
Play the “So What” Game. If you’re stuck and feel like your conclusion isn’t saying anything
new or interesting, ask a friend to read it with you. Whenever you make a statement from
your conclusion, ask the friend to say, “So what?” or “Why should anybody care?” Then

 ponder that question and answer it. Here’s how it might go:
You: Basically, I’m just saying that education was important to Douglass.
Friend: So what?
You: Well, it was important because it was a key to him feeling like a free and
equal citizen.
Friend: Why should anybody care?
You: That’s important because plantation owners tried to keep slaves from being
educated so that they could maintain control. When Douglass obtained an
education, he undermined that control personally.
You can also use this strategy on your own, asking yourself “So What?” as you develop
your ideas or your draft.
Return to the theme or themes in the introduction. This strategy brings the reader full
circle. For example, if you begin by describing a scenario, you can end with the same
scenario as proof that your essay is helpful in creating a new understanding. You may also
refer to the introductory paragraph by using key words or parallel concepts and images that
you also used in the introduction.
Synthesize, don’t summarize: Include a brief summary of the paper’s main points, but don’t
simply repeat things that were in your paper. Instead, show your reader how the points you
made and the support and examples you used fit together. Pull it all together.
Include a provocative insight or quotation from the research or reading you did for your
paper.
Propose a course of action, a solution to an issue, or questions for further study. This can
redirect your reader’s thought process and help her to apply your info and ideas to her own
life or to see the broader implications.
Point to broader implications. For example, if your paper examines the Greensboro sit-ins
or another event in the Civil Rights Movement, you could point out its impact on the Civil
Rights Movement as a whole. A paper about the style of writer Virginia Woolf could point to
her influence on other writers or on later feminists.
Strategies to avoid
Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as “in conclusion,” “in summary,” or
“in closing.” Although these phrases can work in speeches, they come across as wooden
and trite in writing.
Stating the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion.

Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion.
Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any substantive changes.
Making sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character with the rest of an
analytical paper.
Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper.
Four kinds of ineffective conclusions
1. The “That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It” Conclusion. This conclusion just restates the
thesis and is usually painfully short. It does not push the ideas forward. People write this
kind of conclusion when they can’t think of anything else to say. Example: In conclusion,
Frederick Douglass was, as we have seen, a pioneer in American education, proving that
education was a major force for social change with regard to slavery.
2. The “Sherlock Holmes” Conclusion. Sometimes writers will state the thesis for the very first
time in the conclusion. You might be tempted to use this strategy if you don’t want to give
everything away too early in your paper. You may think it would be more dramatic to keep
the reader in the dark until the end and then “wow” him with your main idea, as in a
Sherlock Holmes mystery. The reader, however, does not expect a mystery, but an
analytical discussion of your topic in an academic style, with the main argument (thesis)
stated up front. Example: (After a paper that lists numerous incidents from the book but
never says what these incidents reveal about Douglass and his views on education): So, as
the evidence above demonstrates, Douglass saw education as a way to undermine the
slaveholders’ power and also an important step toward freedom.
3. The “America the Beautiful”/”I Am Woman”/”We Shall Overcome” Conclusion. This kind of
conclusion usually draws on emotion to make its appeal, but while this emotion and even
sentimentality may be very heartfelt, it is usually out of character with the rest of an
analytical paper. A more sophisticated commentary, rather than emotional praise, would be
a more fitting tribute to the topic. Example: Because of the efforts of fine Americans like
Frederick Douglass, countless others have seen the shining beacon of light that is
education. His example was a torch that lit the way for others. Frederick Douglass was truly
an American hero.
4. The “Grab Bag” Conclusion. This kind of conclusion includes extra information that the
writer found or thought of but couldn’t integrate into the main paper. You may find it hard
to leave out details that you discovered after hours of research and thought, but adding
random facts and bits of evidence at the end of an otherwise-well-organized essay can just
create confusion. Example: In addition to being an educational pioneer, Frederick Douglass
provides an interesting case study for masculinity in the American South. He also offers
historians an interesting glimpse into slave resistance when he confronts Covey, the
overseer. His relationships with female relatives reveal the importance of family in the slave

 community.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a Dissertations
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
Graduate school pundits often cite 50% or more as the attrition rate for ABD students (those
All quotations are from:
who have completed All the requirements of their programs But the Dissertation). Why? This
Douglass, Frederick. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, edited and handout will not only answer this question, but also give you good, practical advice on starting,
with introduction by Houston A. Baker, Jr., New York: Penguin Books, 1986. drafting, and completing your dissertation.

Strategies for Writing a Conclusion. Literacy Education Online, St. Cloud State University. 18 Reasons for ABD inertia—the nature of the beast
May 2005 <http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/conclude.html>.
Why don’t doctoral candidates manage to get rolling on the dissertation any sooner, or KEEP
Conclusions. Nesbitt-Johnston Writing Center, Hamilton College. 17 May 2005
rolling once they get started? Partly because the dissertation is a completely new experience
<http://www.hamilton.edu/academic/Resource/WC/SampleConclusions.html>.
that is much larger and more independent than your previous academic work.

1. Writing a dissertation is a completely new experience.

To this point, being a graduate student has been, more or less, an extension of your
earlier life as a student. Many people, in fact, go to graduate school because they have
always been “good at school,” and want to continue with something that brings them
success and self-confidence. The reading assignments, labs, papers, and tests you have
been assigned as a graduate student may not have been so different from your
undergraduate course work. The dissertation, on the other hand, is a new kind of
academic project, unlike anything else you’ve done. It is the academic project that
marks your transition from student to scholar.

2. Writing a dissertation is not only new, it’s also a very large, very independent project.

Writing a dissertation is a lot like writing a book. It is, by definition, a self-directed

process. There are usually no weekly deadlines from professors, no regular discussions
with classmates, no reading assignments, no one telling you what to do—you are on
your own, writing something longer than you’ve ever written, and doing it without a
net. This independence can make the process seem very intimidating

3. The dissertation marks the transition from student to scholar and is stressful as a result.

When you embark on this large, independent project, you may begin to ask yourself
questions about your future in academia. After all, the dissertation is the beginning of
the end of a graduate career. When you finish your dissertation, you have to change
your life pretty dramatically —you may go on the job market, begin work as an

 
 independent scholar, develop classes, move out of a community that you have grown
to love, and so on. You may also feel like your dissertation will begin to define your
professional identity. You may feel like your research interests, your theoretical
influences, and your skill as a writer may all be evaluated by this first piece of serious
scholarship. Whether any of these points are true or not, you may find yourself
questioning your commitment to your chosen profession or topic and unable to begin
the dissertation.
So what can you do if you are questioning your commitments?
If you find yourself questioning your commitment to your dissertation or a career in academia,
consider these tactics:
Do some soul-searching.
This may be a time to ask yourself what the Ph.D. means to you and whether you
really want to continue. Remember that what it means to you and what it means to
your partner, family, or friends may be very different. You might make a list of all the
reasons you want to get the Ph.D. and all the reasons you would rather not. You might
try free-writing about your topic and the reasons it inspires you. You might plan out
your life’s possible courses for the next 2, 5, 10, or 20 years if you do and if you don’t
proceed with the degree. Through all this, ask yourself “What will make me happy? And
why?”
Seek help from other sources of advice.
If you are too close to your own graduate school anxieties to think critically about
them, visit campus resources that can help you sort out your thinking on this difficult
and important issue. Your advisor or colleagues in your department may be able to
help you if you have a good relationship with them. Other graduate students, especially
those who are about to finish or have finished, may be particularly helpful. University
counseling services may prove helpful as well. They regularly talk with students about
just this issue.
Remember that there is no shame in not pursuing this advanced degree.
Many, many people lead happy, fulfilling lives, build lucrative and rewarding careers,
make important contributions to knowledge, share interesting ideas with others, and
generally get along just fine without three letters after their names. Deciding not to
continue with a Ph.D. does not mean that you have “quit” or that others who remain in
the program are smarter, more driven, or more virtuous than you are. It also does not
mean that you have wasted the time and money that you invested in the degree up to
the ABD stage. It may simply mean that after considering your own personal
motivations and goals, you decided this career choice wasn’t for you—and that you plan
to use the skills you honed as a graduate student in other ways that are more suited to

you.
So what if you decide that the dissertation is for you? The good news!
You will build skills in writing your dissertation that you will use throughout your career.
The dissertation is not a one-shot deal. Unlike the elaborate study strategies you
developed in order to pass your comprehensive exams, writing the dissertation will
enable you to start developing a set of valuable research and writing skills. Thinking
analytically, synthesizing complicated information, writing well, and organizing your
time will all serve you well regardless of the career you begin. If you choose a career in
academia, the systems of support, research strategies, work schedules, and writing
techniques that help you do the dissertation will help you write books, articles and
lectures for many years to come.
The document itself may become an important part of your early career.
If you take some care in developing your dissertation, the document can be
transformed, after graduation, into a book or series of articles that can help launch
your academic career. Unlike earlier course papers that just received a grade and were
then shuttled off to a filing cabinet or trash bin, your dissertation can be used and
revised for years to come. On the other hand, it can be an end as well as a beginning—
you don’t have to develop the dissertation beyond the completion of the degree if you
don’t want to. If you’re sick of the topic, you can focus on just finishing it for the
degree, and then move on to other projects.
With all that good news, what’s the problem?
Sometimes, even if you appreciate the differences between the dissertation and previous work
and know that you really want to complete the degree, you may still have trouble. Why? Both
external and internal stresses can cause the dissertation process to be more difficult than it has
to be.
Your topic, your advisor, and your committee: making them work for you
By the time you’ve reached this stage, you have probably already defended a dissertation
proposal, chosen an advisor, and begun working with a committee. Sometimes, however, those
three elements can prove to be major external sources of frustration. So how can you manage
them to help yourself be as productive as possible?
1. Managing your topic.
Remember that your topic is not carved in stone. A lot of people change their topics as they
work, paring down certain parts of the project or adding others. While you want to keep

 your advisor and committee informed about major changes in your focus, in most
disciplines you do not have to follow strictly the research and writing plan that you
suggested in your dissertation proposal. In fact, most people don’t.
Think about variables that could be cut down and how changes would affect the length,
depth, breadth, and scholarly value of your study. Could you cut one or two experiments,
case studies, regions, years, theorists, or chapters and still make a valuable contribution or,
even more simply, just finish?
Talk to your advisor about any changes you might make. He or she may be quite
sympathetic to your desire to shorten an unwieldy project and may offer suggestions.
Look at other dissertations from your department to get a sense of what kind of topic
produces an acceptable dissertation—you may find that it’s not the kind of huge
masterpiece you were imagining and that you can work on a much smaller, more compact
topic instead.
2. Managing your advisor.
At this stage in your graduate career, you should expect to assume some independence. By
the time you finish your project, you will know more about your subject than your
committee does. The student/teacher relationship you have with your advisor will
necessarily change as you take this big step toward becoming his/her colleague.
Talk with your advisor about how the two of you should work during the dissertation
process. You might ask questions like: How often should I be in contact with you about my
progress? Do you prefer to see whole drafts of chapters, relatively polished drafts, or are
you happy to see smaller chunks of less-well-formed writing? If I give you a draft of a
chapter on Monday, what do you think the turn-around time would be? Do you want to see
the chapters in the order I write them, or in the order they’ll wind up?
Tell your advisor what kind of feedback would be most helpful to you. Sometimes an
advisor can be giving unhelpful or discouraging feedback without realizing it. Letting him or
her know, very specifically, what kinds of responses will be helpful to you at different
stages of the writing process can help your advisor know how to help you.
Keep your advisor informed. Advisors can be most helpful if they know what you are
working on, what problems you are experiencing, and what progress you have made. A
weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly meeting or progress report can prove helpful.
Talk to other students who have the same advisor. You may find that they have developed
strategies for working with your advisor that could help you communicate more effectively
with him or her.
If you have recurring problems communicating with your advisor, you can make a change.
You could change advisors completely, but a less dramatic option might be to find another
committee member who might be willing to serve as a “secondary advisor” and give you
the kinds of feedback and support that you may need.
3. Managing your committee.
You may assemble your committee for the proposal defense, and then never see them
 
until the final dissertation defense. That may work fine for you, or you may decide that
you would prefer more frequent contact.
Talk with your advisor about how committees usually work with doctoral candidates in your
department.
Ask the members of your committee whether they would prefer to see drafts of your
chapters individually, or wait to see the final complete draft.
Keep in regular contact with your committee, even if they don’t want to see your work until
it has been approved by your advisor. Let them know about fellowships you receive, fruitful
research excursions, the directions your thinking is taking, and the plans you have for
completion. In short, keep them aware that you are working hard and making progress.
It doesn’t hurt to talk to your committee when you’re floundering either. Too often, we only
talk to our professors when we’re making progress and hide from them the rest of the time.
If you share your frustrations or setbacks with a knowledgeable committee member, he or
she might offer some very helpful suggestions for overcoming the obstacles you face—after
all, your committee members have all written major research projects before, and have
probably solved similar problems in their own work.
It’s important not to get too hung up on how your committee does (or doesn’t) relate to
you. Ultimately, you have to go forward no matter what they do.
“Too busy to work”: exhaustion, money, and time management
Even when you are dedicated to your dissertation and have no problems with your topic,
advisor or committee, you can have trouble getting your dissertation written. Simple
exhaustion, financial stresses, and family responsibilities can seem to conspire to keep you
from doing the work that you need to do. While you can’t do anything about many of these
stresses —the rent needs to be paid, and the Grad School still wants you to know two foreign
languages, for examples—you can change the way that you deal with these external concerns
and minimize their impact on your psyche and productivity.
1. Seek help with the exhaustion.
Often, graduate students juggle many personal and professional responsibilities while
working on their dissertations. You may be teaching an undergraduate course, working
a second job to make ends meet, seeking child care, writing conference papers, serving
on committees, and more. All of these activities and worries can leave you feeling
exhausted. Sometimes, finding time to exercise, meditate, or participate in relaxation
programs (yoga, stretching, massage therapy, and so on) can help you cope with
tiredness better, even if those things do little to alleviate the work load. The Student
Recreation Center and Rams Head gyms offer several exercise classes that may prove
useful and relaxing. Good nutrition can also go a long way toward improving your sense
of well-being.
2. Seek external sources of funding.
 A fellowship, grant or scholarship can provide enough financial cushion that you can
quit at least one job, and perhaps even find full funding for a year. The Graduate
School offers funding workshops and a GrantSource librarythat can help you identify
potential sources of funding. Full fellowships or grants, though, can be a mixed
blessing. Often, having one part-time job or other commitment while researching or
writing can help you structure your day, get to campus early in the morning, and so on.
Without that structure, the day can slip by pretty quickly. With a whole year ahead of
you with nothing to work on but the dissertation, there’s a tendency to feel like you can
put off the dissertation for a day, a week, or more—there’s no sense of urgency. So
while fellowships can be tremendously helpful, they also require great discipline to
prove effective.
3. Work on time management.
Effective time management can be another way to alleviate some of the external
stresses of graduate school. Here are a few strategies:
Plan each day. Block out the 30 minutes, hour, 3 hours, or whatever that you want to work
on the dissertation.
Choose a scheduling strategy that works for you. Some people like to schedule their daily
dissertation work in terms of hours and minutes worked, and others in terms of “problems
solved” or “pages written.” Figure out which works best for you.
Find a calendar, chart or other scheduling device that you like. Some dissertation advice
books offer elaborate scheduling mechanisms that require you to keep calendars of the
entire year, of each month, of each week, and of each day (broken down by hour). This
might be overdoing it, but find some sort of daily, weekly or monthly planner that makes
sense to you and use it. Refer to it each morning to get a sense of what you plan to do
each day.
Stick to your schedule. If you write down that you will work on grading exams only until 2
P.M. and then turn to your dissertation, do it! Sometimes just setting that schedule can
make you more efficient at grading (since you know you have only a set amount of time in
which to get a lot of it done) and also ensure that you leave room in your life for the
dissertation.
When planning your long-range goals, work backwards from commencement. When do you
need to turn in the dissertation to the Graduate School? To do that, when would you need
to defend? To do that, when would you need to get it to the committee? Get specific—don’t
use “this semester” as a deadline, use a specific date.
Don’t let immediate concerns take over the time you want to devote to this important long-
term project. It’s easy to let the dissertation (with no regular or immediate deadline) sit on
the shelf because something with a more concrete deadline (a presentation to someone’s
class on a specific date, for example) seems to be looming large. Plan for those events in
advance, and don’t let them eat up all of your dissertation time.
Learn to say “No.” Don’t accept every invitation to give a guest lecture, present at a
graduate student forum, or attend a conference. Similarly, try not to agree to drive every

needy friend to the airport, watch every neighbor’s cat while they’re away, and meet
everyone you know at the Daily Grind at their convenience. If you find you can work
steadily on your dissertation while doing some of these activities, by all means do them—
but don’t feel guilty if you don’t have time to do a lot of favors for others right now.
If you are having trouble learning to say no or learning to budget time for your dissertation,
try dividing your workload into “urgent tasks” (things that have impending deadlines) and
“important tasks” (things that are important to you, but don’t have immediate deadlines).
Make sure that your important task (writing the dissertation) isn’t overwhelmed by things
that are unimportant, but urgent. Organize so that you save time for what’s important and
minimize the possibility of urgent items consuming your attention.
Finally, when all else fails, try the strategy of working on your dissertation for five minutes
a day. Surely you can find five minutes in between classes, after you brush your teeth, or
while you wait for dinner to cook, right? Sometimes the biggest hurdle to time
management isn’t finding big blocks of time in which to work—it’s simply starting to work in
the available time. Once you work for five minutes (really work—no computer solitaire),
you may find that another five minutes wouldn’t be so bad. Getting in the habit of working
on the dissertation every day, even for a short period of time, can be an important time
management strategy. As a side benefit, you may find that daily contact with your
dissertation keeps it on your mind and enables ideas to percolate all day. If you’re keeping
in daily touch with the ideas in your dissertation, you may discover that while waiting in line
at the bank or standing at the bus stop, you come up with new ideas and think through
problems, and make your work go much more smoothly in the long run.
Think about this process as an opportunity to build self-trust. When you make a promise to
yourself that you will work for five minutes or an hour, keep it. Become someone you can
count on.
Work smart: planning to work when, where, and how you work best
When scheduling your dissertation time, think about when, where and how you work best. By
giving some thought to these details, you can ensure that the hours you schedule for
dissertation work are productive.
1. Work on your dissertation during times that you are most productive.
Do you write well in the morning, or are you too sleepy to do academic work? Can you
work in the evening after a 9-5 day, or do you really need a break? Do you like to
read/research on the same day that you write and, if so, do you prefer to write first
and then turn to other sources, or the reverse? Once you determine the hours that are
most productive for you (you may need to experiment at first), try to schedule those
hours for dissertation work. If at all possible, plan your work schedule, errands and
chores so that you reserve your productive hours for the dissertation. Directors of
Graduate Studies and other employers may be pretty sympathetic to this desire to
schedule your best hours for your dissertation—after all, the dissertation is your reason
for being here and should be your number one priority.

2. Work on your dissertation in a space where you can be productive. in discrete sessions but also pull together ideas from past work and use them
constructively.
Figure out where you work well and plan to be there during your dissertation work
hours. Do you get more done on campus or at home? There’s no sense in planning to 4. Don’t let the fact that you know when, where and how you work best prevent you from working in other
work at home two days a week if you wind up watching television every time you try to times, places, and ways.
work at your kitchen table. Similarly, if you do your best work in your home study, try
to avoid planning your days so that you are stuck on campus all day every day, without Of course, while it’s ideal to plan your days to enable you to spend your most
access to your best work space. productive work time in your most productive work space working in your most
productive method, you can’t always do that. So practice working elsewhere, and at
Carrels work well for some people because they limit distractions—but others find them other times. Being away from your favorite fountain pen is not an excuse not to write!
intolerably quiet and austere. Figure out whether or not one might work for you. Neither is losing your lucky rabbit’s foot, having to work on campus, or having to
If your work space is at home, make every effort to remove it from your bedroom. Many schedule something during your “work time.” Try to be flexible, and don’t use your
people don’t sleep well if their work space and their sleep space are in the same room— rituals as excuses.
their anxieties about their work can prevent them from getting to sleep quickly and having
a restful night. Graduate school regulations
Wherever you work, make sure you have good lighting, a comfortable, “healthy” chair, a
sturdy desk, and whatever wrist-rests, mousepads, and so on you need to keep you Graduate students sometimes report that they feel bogged down by departmental
posture and health in good order. The University Health and Safety office offers guidelines requirements, graduate school regulations, and other bits of bureaucracy. Here are a few tips to
for healthy computer work. keep you sane:
If you get “stuck,” try a change of scene. Take a book you’ve been meaning to read to a
coffee house, to one of the campus libraries, to a park bench, etc. Investigate graduation requirements early and plan a meeting with your department’s
graduate secretary or Director of Graduate Studies (DGS) to make sure you are making
3. Figure out how you work best, and try to work that way. appropriate progress toward the degree.
Keep a list or calendar of all the departmental and graduate school regulations and
Develop rituals of work that might help you get more done. Lighting incense, brewing a pot
requirements and dates. Check things off as you complete them, and write down upcoming
of a particular kind of tea, pulling out a favorite pen, and other ritualistic behaviors can
deadlines.
signal your brain that “it is time to get down to business.”
Keep good records. If you are granted any exceptions to departmental or University rules
Critically think about your work methods—not only about what you like to do, but also what
or if you do anything unusual to fulfill a particular requirement, make sure that you get a
actually helps you be productive. You may LOVE to listen to your favorite band while you
letter stating that you have fulfilled the given requirement in writing and keep a copy of it.
write, for example, but if you wind up playing air guitar half the time instead of writing, it
You never know when your current DGS might leave the position or retire. The next person
isn’t a strategy worth keeping.
to hold the job may not know about your exception and may not be willing to uphold it
Decorate your work space for productivity. Some people find that having pictures of family
without written proof.
and friends on their desk helps—sort of a silent “cheering section”—while others find that a
Make sure, if you are using human subjects in your dissertation research, that you have
photo of Mom and Dad just makes them homesick or dredges up fears of inadequacy. Some
followed all of the Graduate School regulations for your work. The human subjects
people work well with neutral colors around them, and others prefer bright colors that perk
paperwork can be quite time consuming and it is, of course, very important that it be done
up the space. Some people like to put inspirational quotations in their workspace or
correctly.
encouraging notes from friends and family. You might try reconfiguring your work space to
A final tip: follow the rules for margins, fonts, table formats, and so on in early drafts. It is
find a décor that helps you be productive.
much easier to write your dissertation with all the formatting correct than to have to
The point is, figure out what works and DO THAT. If something seems to keep you from
reformat several computer files at the last minute.
working, GET RID OF IT. And once you have the “ritual that works,” do it as often as you
can when you write. Educational theorists have described “state-dependent learning,”
Internal stresses that cause problems for dissertation writers
which essentially means that the conditions under which one learns something are the
conditions under which the individual is most likely to be able to remember and use that
Some sources of graduate student stress are not external—instead, they come from within.
information. So working in a consistent setting can help you not only get great work done
Competition with other students, feelings of inadequacy, and plain ol’ procrastination can all

 
slow you down. department and help everyone get more and better work done.
If all else fails, and the competitive atmosphere among other students continues to cause
Competition
you undue anxiety, don’t hang out in your department much. Come by to see your advisor.
Stay in close contact with your committee. Meet bright, generous people in other
Competition is rampant among graduate students. Departments often hold meetings in
departments. Let the Writing Center help you start an interdisciplinary writing group. Go to
which graduate students are ranked in order to determine who should be given funding
conferences and meet interesting supportive people on other campuses who will e-mail with
or teaching appointments. Scholarships pick and choose the “best and the brightest,”
you and share your joys, rather than trampling on them. Don’t let anyone else, in short,
and seminars can turn into arenas where students vie to make the smartest, most
slow you down!
insightful comment in front of the professor. This competition can lead to a cut-throat
atmosphere that encourages hostility and fears of inadequacy and also inhibits much-
The procrastination monster
needed personal support. If you’ve reached the ABD stage, you’ve probably seen some
of this action already. But what can you do if you feel that competition within your
department is hindering your ability to get work done? People procrastinate for a lot of reasons, some of which you already know. The key to beating
procrastination, though, seems to be figuring out why you are procrastinating, so that you can
Remember that you are not in competition with the students in your department. Your only develop strategies for stopping it. Good books and websites on the subject can help (see
competition is more than likely with the graduate students at other universities who will be bibliography), and resources are available to help with procrastination, writer’s block and
applying for jobs in your field at the same time you are. So you have NOTHING to fear from other internal dissertation problems. The University Counseling and Wellness Services
the other people in your department. After all, the people you go to grad school with will be sometimes sponsors a dissertation support group, for example, that allows students to meet
the people who recommend you for tenure one day, review your book favorably, or greet with a counselor in groups to work through dissertation problems.
you with a warm smile at your field’s annual conference.
Realistically, even the grad students at other schools aren’t really your “competition”— Getting down to business: tips for writing consistently
rather, they are your colleagues. After all, if two people are writing dissertations on political
theory in the civil rights movement, they may be in initial competition for jobs, but once Things to write when you don’t want to write
they get jobs, they will be far more likely to work in a collegial way. They may present
papers at the same conferences, be asked to review one another’s work, edit journals Okay, so you’ve figured out what you can do to manage the external stresses in your
together, and so on. Thinking of them as “the enemy” will do little to foster a positive spirit life, and you’ve done your best to fight your procrastination demons and do battle with
of academic professionalism. feeling that you’re not worthy. You’ve got your workspace set up and time scheduled
If you are having problems with competition in your department, you can try to transform and you sit down to write and…nothing. Not a word is coming to you. Here’s what to
the sense of competition into one of cooperation. Try working on some collaborative write when you don’t feel like writing:
projects with students in your department (like co-authoring a conference paper with a
Make a list of all the little things you need to do for a given section of the dissertation, no
student doing similar research). Or form a writing and support group—the Writing Center
matter how small. Write down everything that you need to do to get it out the door. Then
can help you do that. Sometimes the idea of “we’re all in this together” can override the
when you don’t feel like tackling something big, like relating a key point in your argument
idea of “they’re all out to get me.”
to the relevant literature, you can insist that you do something else, like photocopying an
Remember, if you ever feel inadequate or like you “don’t measure up,” that almost
article you’ve been meaning to consult or checking your citations. You don’t have to do
everyone feels that way at some point or another. Many graduate students report feeling
everything on the list during the time you’ve allotted for dissertation work, but tell yourself
like a fraud at some time during (or through most of!) their graduate careers. Talking with
that you DO have to do SOMETHING. You’ll be surprised that the habit of getting something
one another may help you realize that the anxieties you have are shared by all, so there’s
(no matter how small) done on the dissertation every day can be addicting.
no reason to feel threatened by those who seem to be making more progress . Deep down,
When you don’t feel like writing, do “big picture” stuff that the graduate school needs you
they’re as scared as you are.
to do. Reformat margins, work on bibliography, and all that.
It may be helpful to find a person who is AHEAD of you in the process (maybe a friend who
Work on your acknowledgements. Remember all the people who have helped you and the
has defended) to serve as support and to urge you to keep moving. It may also prove
great ideas they’ve helped you develop. You may feel more like working afterward.
beneficial to help a student who is further behind in the program than you are, say,
Write a part of your dissertation as a letter (or e-mail) to a good friend who would care.
someone who hasn’t taken comps. Gathering wisdom from those who have gone before and
Sometimes setting aside the academic prose and just writing it to a buddy can be liberating
passing it along to those who are coming up can foster a marvelous spirit of collegiality in a
and help you get the ideas out there. You can make it sound smart later.

 
 Free-write about why you’re stuck, and perhaps even about how sick and tired you are of
your dissertation/advisor/committee/etc. Venting can sometimes get you past the emotions
of writer’s block and move you toward creative solutions.
Boosts to keep you going
So let’s say you DO feel like writing. How do you go about it in a consistent way?
First, leave your work out where you can see it and work on it conveniently. If it’s out of
sight, it’s out of mind. However, if you leave the next book you need to read on your desk,
it’s much more likely that you’ll read it. Similarly, if you leave the chapter you need to edit
out, and don’t have to dig through the filing cabinet to find it, chances are it will get edited
more quickly.
If you’re really feeling disorganized, clean your workspace. A clear desk and an organized
set of notes can go a long way toward clearing your head and getting you back on track.
Don’t make the office-cleaning-ritual your number one choice for procrastination, though.
Don’t be afraid to work in “the wrong order.” Some people like to work on one chapter at a
time—the first chapter first, then the next chapter, and then the next until they are done.
That’s the model that a lot of us have for writing, but not everyone works like that. Some
people find that they have to write up big ideas first, and then see how they fit together.
Some people write chapter 5 before they write chapter 4. Some people do lots and lots of
freewriting. The way to write a dissertation is the way that gets pages produced. If that
means breaking the “rules,” then break them.
Give yourself permission to write the junkiest dissertation ever floated past an unwitting
committee. That can be very liberating and help you get pages produced so that you can
then edit them later. Get something on paper and then worry about making it perfect.
Remember, when you feel anxious about the quality of your work, that dissertations aren’t
master works. They are your FIRST TRY at this, and no one’s is really all that good, frankly.
(Want proof? Order your advisor’s dissertation from interlibrary loan.)
Be reasonable. A lot of people beat themselves up with expectations to work 10 or 12 hours
a day—many people recommend a max. of 4 or 5 hours. You simply can’t write productively
all day long, and trying will just burn you out. Schedule in breaks and time for
procrastination. Your brain needs a rest every now and then—better to schedule one than
to have your brain mutiny on you and take one anyway.
Find the people in your department who are serious workers and emulate them. If you
don’t know who they are (often, they come to campus much earlier and leave much later
than the rest of us, making them elusive indeed!), ask your advisor. He or she can probably
tell you who they are. Ask them to share their tips for working consistently with you, and
try out their advice.
Similarly, find the non-workers in your department (they’re easier to find—check the
nearest coffee shop), and try NOT to emulate them. It can be easy to fall into a sort of
fraternity/sorority of alleged dissertation writers who are bound by the mantra, “I’m not
getting any work done.” You certainly won’t get any work done if you hang out with those
folks.

Write your dissertation in single-space. When you need a boost, double space it and be
impressed with how many pages you’ve written! Then add the page numbers—it’s even
longer!
As you print out chapter drafts, bibliographies, and such, put them in a notebook with
dividers for each section. You’ll see the notebook get thicker and thicker as the semester
goes along, and it will encourage you to keep working.
Finally, quit while you’re ahead. Sometimes it helps to STOP for the day when you’re on a
roll. If you’ve got a great idea that you’re developing and you know where you want to go
next, write “Next, I want to introduce x, y, and z and explain how they’re related—they all
have the same characteristics of 1 and 2, and that clinches my theory of Q.” Then save the
file and turn off the computer, or put down the notepad. When you come back tomorrow,
you will already know what to say nextmdash;and all that will be left is to say it. Hopefully,
the momentum will carry you forward.
Feedback, rewards, and punishments as motivators
Many people use rewards, feedback, and punishments as motivators in the dissertation
process.
A writing group, your advisor, trusted friends, and loving family members can all give you
feedback that can be a motivator. When you are looking for motivational feedback, choose
people to ask who you know will give you the sort of feedback you need to keep you going.
Grandmothers are great at telling you you’re brilliant, for example.
And tell them what kind of feedback you want. It’s okay to tell a reader, “I know this is
rough, but I just want to make sure that you can understand my main argument.” Then
when they come back and say, “Yes, I understood,” you can feel great!
Give yourself rewards along the way. When you meet a deadline, have coffee with a friend,
rent a movie, buy yourself an ice cream, write a letter to a friend, or do something else that
will make you feel good about your accomplishment. Having a tangible reward, however
small, can provide some added motivation to get work done.
Some people schedule daily motivational rewards. If they really love to do the crossword,
get a cappuccino, or watch a particular show every day, they tell themselves they can’t do
that thing until they have done the allotted amount of dissertation work.
Punishments can also work. Some people find it useful to say, “If I don’t get this done by
that date, then I can’t do ________.”
Feeling like a professional
One of the most important parts of becoming a scholar is feeling like one. The transition from
student to scholar is a huge mental step toward completion. Here are a few tips that can help:
Some people find it helpful to think about the dissertation as a regular, full-time job.
Attend conferences and read broadly in your field.
Deliver papers on your research (if writing up papers for conferences helps, rather than

 hinders, your progress on the dissertation).
Start conversations with scholars at other schools who do similar work, and engage in
exciting, intellectual conversations. Guest lecture in a friend’s classes.
Dress the part.
Essentially, do things that help you feel like you have a legitimate place in academia. Some
people find that if they pretend to be something they don’t think they are for long enough,
that they become it without even realizing they have done so.
Will
It may sound silly, but a major part of the dissertation writing a dissertation is simply having
the will to write it—making yourself do it, even when you don’t want to. The dissertation is a
marathon, not a sprint, and it will take endurance, determination, and perseverance.
Developing and sustaining the will to complete a complicated, long-term project is a habit that
will serve you well in other areas of life.
Get silly
Take time to laugh at the process and at yourself. Make up a Top 10 lists of “rejected”
dissertation titles. Figure out who would play whom in the movie version of your dissertation
(or of your dissertation defense)! Come up with “dissertation proverbs” that will help you
survive. Here is a list of some we’ve heard:
“P” stands for Ph.D.
A good dissertation is a done dissertation.
What do you call a grad student who barely squeaks a lousy dissertation past her
committee? Doctor.
You ain’t painting a masterpiece.
It’s not the last word on the topic; it’s the first word.
Works consulted
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
Books on dissertation writing, procrastination, and graduate school:
Becker, Howard S. with a chapter by Pamela Richards. Writing for Social Scientists: How to
Start and Finish Your Thesis, Book, or Article. (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1986).
While Becker’s book is geared toward social scientists, writers in other disciplines will probably
 
find it useful. Becker draws on his experience as a sociologist and as the leader of a course on
writing for graduate student. He focuses on the process of writing, from developing a writing
persona, to getting started, to editing. His chapter on “Getting it Out the Door” may prove
especially helpful to graduate students. His tone is generally humorous, but some may tire of
the sociological examples he uses.
Bolker, Joan. Writing Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day: A Guide to Starting, Revising,
and Finishing Your Doctoral Thesis. (New York: Henry Holt and Company, 1998).
Joan Bolker, a clinical psychologist and writing counselor, does not, in fact, tell you how to write
your dissertation in only fifteen minutes a day. She does, however, explain how starting with
fifteen minutes of work each day might lead to a habit of work that will lead to the successful
completion of a dissertation. Her psychological training is particularly beneficial in the sections
of the book where she describes the many underlying reasons behind graduate students’
inability to do consistent work. She offers suggestions for handling all sorts of roadblocks. Some
of her recommendations are long-range, large-scale changes like cultivating a “writing
addiction.” Others are short-term, quick fix solutions, like making a list of all the things you
want to jump up and do while writing (like cleaning the oven, paying the bills, edging the lawn,
etc.), promising yourself that you can do them when you have completed your allotted amount
of work for the day. “You’ll be amazed,” she promises “how much less attractive the items on
your list look once you’ve finished your writing that day.” (pg. 90) Some may find her
suggestions to take out additional loans or hire help with cleaning or child-care unrealistic,
given their finances and the job market, but on the whole she offers useful advice.
Burka, Jane M. and Lenora M. Yuen. Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It,
(Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, 1983).
Psychologists Burka and Yuen divide their book into two parts—”Understanding Procrastination”
and “Overcoming Procrastination.” They describe the different habits of procrastination and the
reasons behind them in the first section, focusing on fear of success, fear of failure, fear of
losing autonomy, fear of separation, and fear of attachment. They also describe how people
become procrastinators. In the second section, they offer concrete advice for resolving
problems with procrastination and explain how to set goals, schedule, improve timing, set up
support, and so on. The book offers great insight into a very common problem. For the second
section of the book to be useful, you must read the first part of the book. [May not be in
Libraries; available on the Writing Center bookshelf]
Fitzpatrick, Jacqueline, Jan Secrist, and Debra J. Wright. Secrets for a Successful Dissertation,
(Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, 1998).
Written in an inviting, often humorous style, this book deals with the mechanics of writing a
dissertation (how the process works, how to organize literature reviews, and so on) as well as
the more intangible aspects, such as the development of support groups and personal
organizational strategies. The book includes a number of short and helpful checklists and “top
secrets” set off from the main text for easy reference. The appendix provides a list of action
words to introduce quotes, a list of suggested items for inclusion in a research proposal, a
statistical decision tree, a list of general action verbs, and an impressive annotated bibliography
of books on writing, research, confidence, public speaking, computers, and more. The authors’
backgrounds are in education and counseling.
Mauch James E., and Jack W. Birch. Guide to the Successful Thesis and Dissertation:
Conception to Publication, (New York: Marcel Dekker, Inc., 1983).
The authors offer a no-nonsense approach to planning your project, conducting research,
writing, working with your committee, defending the dissertation, and developing it further. The
book includes a number of charts, forms, and checklists to help you along the way. The book
seems geared toward the dissertation writer who knows what he or she wants to do, and just
needs some solid advice on form, planning, and strategy to move them in the right direction. If
you know what you need to do and how you ought to do it, but just can’t seem to get moving,
this book might not prove as useful as some of the more “touchy feely” titles on this list.
Peters, Robert L. Getting What You Came For: The Smart Student’s Guide to Earning a Master’s
or Ph.D., (New York: The Noonday Press, 1997).
Peters covers graduate school from deciding to go in the first place to completing the degree,
offering valuable advice at every step along the way. (Skip the section on whether or not you
should go to graduate school if you’re feeling down—it includes some depressing, if accurate,
assessments of the job market.) Of particular interest to the dissertation writer are the chapters
entitled The Doctorate: History and Hurdles, Managing Yourself, Choosing and Managing Your
Thesis Committee, The Thesis Topic: Finding It, The Thesis Proposal, The Thesis: Writing It, The
Thesis Defense, Dealing with Stress and Depression, The Social Milieu and Swimming with the
Mainstream: Returning Students, Women, Minorities, and Foreign Students. The book is based
on interviews with graduate students, faculty members and counselors, and the real-life
experience of the interviewees is particularly helpful. Peters offers a friendly and encouraging
style, sound and realistic advice—and a sizable dose of humor.
Sternberg, David. How to Complete and Survive Your Doctoral Dissertation, (New York: St.
Martin’s Griffin, 1981).
A sociologist and advisor to many graduate students, Sternberg focuses on moving the student
from ABD to Ph.D. His chapters explore topic selection, filing systems, proposal-writing,
research, writing, committee relations, “the Dissertation Dumps,” the defense, and the post-
defense uses of the dissertation. Sternberg does strike somewhat of a balance between the
“buck up” school that says “Just write the thing and quite whining” and the sympathetic school
that is inclined to tell you “it’s okay,” hold your hand, and validate your feelings. On the whole,
his suggestions tend to center around developing a plan for completion and adhering to it
despite doubts, rather than exploring the doubts themselves in great depth. Some of his advice
may seem dated. For example, in discussing sexism, he writes “deep-rooted sexism is still a
fact of graduate university structure and hierarchy” that can be “exploited by a woman.” He
concludes that the “feminist ABD has to suspend her struggle for that ongoing cause during the

two years of the dissertation struggle.” (p. 150)
Helpful websites:
Advice on Research and Writing:
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/afs/cs.cmu.edu/user/mleone/web/how-to.html
Lots of links on writing, public speaking, dissertation management, burnout, and more.
Advice for the Ph.D.-Lorn:
http://www.cc.gatech.edu/student.services/phd/phd-advice/
Focused on math and computer science, this web page from Georgia Tech includes helpful links
for all graduate students, including general links on success in graduate school, links pertaining
to women’s success in computer science (and for women graduate students, generally), “The
Unwritten Milestones for the Ph.D.” and other useful links.
How to be a Good Graduate Student DesJardins, Marie:
http://www.cs.indiana.edu/how.2b/how.2b.html
This essay talks about several phases of the graduate experience, including the dissertation.
She discusses some helpful hints for staying motivated and doing consistent work.
Preparing Future Faculty:
http://www.preparing-faculty.org/
This page, a joint project of the American Association of Colleges and Universities, the Council
of Graduate Schools, and the Pew Charitable Trusts, explains the Preparing Future Faculty
Programs and includes links and suggestions that may help graduate students and their
advisors think constructively about the process of graduate education as a step toward faculty
responsibilities.
Back to Dissertation Basics:
http://www.asgs.org/DissBscs.html
A reprint from ASGS (the Association for the Support of Graduate Students), this article talks
about the skills required for the completion of a doctoral dissertation. The homepage for ASGS
http://www.asgs.org/index.htm offers other links and an archive of articles and advice.
Dissertation Tips:
http://web.archive.org/web/20030203011257/www.citationonline.net/survdiss.htm
Kjell Erik Rudestam, Ph.D. and Rae Newton, Ph.D., authors of Surviving Your Dissertation: A
Comprehensive Guide to Content and Process.
The ABD Survival Guide Newsletter:
http://www.abdsurvivalguide.com/


Evaluating Print Sources
This handout will discuss strategies to evaluate secondary printed sources—books, journal
articles, magazines, etc.—based on three criteria: objectivity, authority, and applicability to
your particular assignment. Printed sources, whether primary or secondary, provide the
evidence for most of the academic essays you will write in college. Non-print sources, such as
webpages, works of art (performance and fine), and interviews often provide significant source
material for analysis but are not covered in this handout.
Introduction
At some point in your college career, you will be asked to write a research paper. While you
may associate research papers with history or political science classes, the study of most
disciplines involves the collection and interpretation of data with the intent of making and
supporting an argument. To do this, you must use some printed texts, whether they are
primary documents or secondary sources that analyze primary sources.
If you have never written a research paper at the college level, the process may appear
daunting. The first step, of course, is to develop a topic that investigates a problem important
to your discipline. For this, talk to your instructor or the library Reference staff and check out
our handouts on understanding assignments, constructing thesis statements, and argument in
academic writing.
So you come up with a good idea and head to the library to begin research. UNC’s Davis Library
contains over five million books and journals. Which ones are useful to your study? What if the
information they present is false, outdated, or biased to the point of inaccuracy? How can you
tell? This handout will help answer these questions.
Researchers approach an unfamiliar source and ask questions of it with the intention of
discovering clues that will tell them if they can trust the source and if it can add anything to the
argument. The steps that are outlined below may appear drawn-out and perfunctory to some;
each step is outlined in detail so that both novice and advanced researchers can benefit. It will
help you approach your sources more carefully and critically.
Primary and secondary sources
This handout will focus on how to evaluate secondary sources, but the critical skills you learn

here will help in analyzing primary sources too. Before we can get to secondary sources, we
need to differentiate primary from secondary sources. Primary sources come in various shapes
and sizes, and often you have to do a little bit of research about the source to make sure you
have correctly identified it.
In a nutshell, a primary source was produced at the same time that the events described in the
source took place. Sound easy? In most cases it is. Here are some examples and problem
areas:
Diaries and letters written by people who were participants in the actions they describe
are easy to classify as primary sources, but what about memoirs or autobiographies?
These are usually written well after the events took place and often will tell you more about
the period in which they were written than about the period they describe.
What about newspapers? The author of an article presents an interpretation, but if the
article reports current events, it is primary. If the article reports past events, it is
secondary. Keep in mind that an article about a past event can present valuable primary
evidence concerning the author’s context.
What about fiction? If you are studying the novel or poem for its own sake, it is a primary
source. If you are using the novel or poem as evidence—a historical novel, for example—it
is a secondary source. In the same vein, a 19th-century history textbook can be
considered a primary source if you are studying how the work was influenced by the period
in which it was written or how it fits into a continuum of historical analysis (that is called
historiography).
Check out this table to help differentiate primary and secondary sources.
Primary Secondary
The Tempest by William Shakespeare An article that analyzes the motif of the ‘savage other’
in The Tempest.
The Diary of Anne Frank A book about the Holocaust
The Declaration of Independence A biography of Thomas Jefferson
Population statistics on Ethiopia from An article titled “The impact of population growth on
The World Factbook infant mortality in Ethiopia.”
Secondary sources will inform most of your writing in college. You will often be asked to
research your topic using primary sources, but secondary sources will tell you which primary
sources you should use and will help you interpret those primary sources. To use them well,
however, you need to think critically about them.
There are two parts of a source that you need to analyze: the text itself and the argument
within the text.
Evaluating the text

You evaluate a text to determine the objectivity of the author and the credibility of the work.
Do not assume that your sole motive or goal is to eliminate sources. While this may be a
consequence of your analysis, your goal should be to understand the context of the work so you
can assess how it can inform your argument. To do this, you must analyze the text according to
three criteria: the author, the publisher, and the date of publication.

Author

Remember back at the beginning of this handout I wrote that critically analyzing
sources is all about asking questions? Well, here is where you show off that skill. The
next time you pick up a book in the library, look at the author’s name. Have you heard
of her? Do you know if he is cited in other books on the subject? Has your instructor
mentioned the author’s name? Is she affiliated with a university (which may or may not
add to her authority)? Does the author acknowledge an organizational affiliation? The
acknowledgements and preface are good places to get the answers to most of these
questions.

Publisher

The questions you will ask about the publisher are similar to those asked about the
author. Look in the first few pages of the book for the copyright and publisher
information. Did a university press—for example, Press, UT Press—publish the
text? Did a popular press—Jones and Bartlett, Harcourt, Brace, Jovanovich—publish it?
You can be relatively sure that if a university press published the book, it has been held
to a high academic standard. Popular presses differ in their standards. You may have to
look at other aspects of the book (see below for tips on identifying tone and audience)
or look at other books produced by the same publisher to judge the credibility of the
text. Remember, you are not looking for ways to exclude works. Rather, you are trying
to understand the context in which the book was written so you can better analyze its
content.

Date of Publication

If you are researching a current issue, it stands to reason that you want the most up-
to-date sources you can find. If your topic is not so current, it is often acceptable to go
back ten or even twenty years for your sources. If there is a more recent book on the
same topic, make sure that you look at it. Maybe the author found new evidence that
drastically alters the argument of the first book. The age of a work can be easy to
determine, but it is sometimes tricky. The page that has all the publisher’s information
has a copyright date. Has the work been translated? If so, that date is probably the
date of the translation. Is there more than one date listed on the page? In that case,
you probably have a newer edition. If so, the author wrote most of the book at the time
of the first date of publication, although new information may have been added since
then.

 
 

Evidence
This handout will provide a broad overview of gathering and using evidence. It will help you
decide what counts as evidence, put evidence to work in your writing, and determine whether
you have enough evidence. It will also offer links to additional resources.
Introduction
Many papers that you write in college will require you to make an argument; this means that
you must take a position on the subject you are discussing and support that position with
evidence. It’s important that you use the right kind of evidence, that you use it effectively, and
that you have an appropriate amount of it. If, for example, your philosophy professor didn’t like
it that you used a survey of public opinion as your primary evidence in your ethics paper, you
need to find out more about what philosophers count as good evidence. If your instructor has
told you that you need more analysis, suggested that you’re “just listing” points or giving a
“laundry list,” or asked you how certain points are related to your argument, it may mean that
you can do more to fully incorporate your evidence into your argument. Comments like “for
example?,” “proof?,” “go deeper,” or “expand” in the margins of your graded paper suggest
that you may need more evidence. Let’s take a look at each of these issues—understanding
what counts as evidence, using evidence in your argument, and deciding whether you need
more evidence.
What counts as evidence?
Before you begin gathering information for possible use as evidence in your argument, you
need to be sure that you understand the purpose of your assignment. If you are working on a
project for a class, look carefully at the assignment prompt. It may give you clues about what
sorts of evidence you will need. Does the instructor mention any particular books you should
use in writing your paper or the names of any authors who have written about your topic? How
long should your paper be (longer works may require more, or more varied, evidence)? What
themes or topics come up in the text of the prompt? Our handout on understanding writing
assignments can help you interpret your assignment. It’s also a good idea to think over what
has been said about the assignment in class and to talk with your instructor if you need
clarification or guidance.
What matters to instructors?
 
Instructors in different academic fields expect different kinds of arguments and evidence—your
chemistry paper might include graphs, charts, statistics, and other quantitative data as
evidence, whereas your English paper might include passages from a novel, examples of
recurring symbols, or discussions of characterization in the novel. Consider what kinds of
sources and evidence you have seen in course readings and lectures. You may wish to see
whether the Writing Center has a handout regarding the specific academic field you’re working
in—for example, literature, sociology, or history.
What are primary and secondary sources?
A note on terminology: many researchers distinguish between primary and secondary sources
of evidence (in this case, “primary” means “first” or “original,” not “most important”). Primary
sources include original documents, photographs, interviews, and so forth. Secondary sources
present information that has already been processed or interpreted by someone else. For
example, if you are writing a paper about the movie “The Matrix,” the movie itself, an interview
with the director, and production photos could serve as primary sources of evidence. A movie
review from a magazine or a collection of essays about the film would be secondary sources.
Depending on the context, the same item could be either a primary or a secondary source: if I
am writing about people’s relationships with animals, a collection of stories about animals might
be a secondary source; if I am writing about how editors gather diverse stories into collections,
the same book might now function as a primary source.
Where can I find evidence?
Here are some examples of sources of information and tips about how to use them in gathering
evidence. Ask your instructor if you aren’t sure whether a certain source would be appropriate
for your paper.
Print and electronic sources
Books, journals, websites, newspapers, magazines, and documentary films are some of the
most common sources of evidence for academic writing. Our handout on evaluating print
sources will help you choose your print sources wisely, and the library has a tutorial on
evaluating both print sources and websites. A librarian can help you find sources that are
appropriate for the type of assignment you are completing. Just visit the reference desk at
Davis or the Undergraduate Library or chat with a librarian online (the library’s IM screen name
is undergradref).
Observation
Sometimes you can directly observe the thing you are interested in, by watching, listening to,
touching, tasting, or smelling it. For example, if you were asked to write about Mozart’s music,
you could listen to it; if your topic was how businesses attract traffic, you might go and look at
window displays at the mall.
Interviews
An interview is a good way to collect information that you can’t find through any other type of
research. An interview can provide an expert’s opinion, biographical or first-hand experiences,
and suggestions for further research.
Surveys
Surveys allow you to find out some of what a group of people thinks about a topic. Designing
an effective survey and interpreting the data you get can be challenging, so it’s a good idea to
check with your instructor before creating or administering a survey.
Experiments
Experimental data serve as the primary form of scientific evidence. For scientific experiments,
you should follow the specific guidelines of the discipline you are studying. For writing in other
fields, more informal experiments might be acceptable as evidence. For example, if you want to
prove that food choices in a cafeteria are affected by gender norms, you might ask classmates
to undermine those norms on purpose and observe how others react. What would happen if a
football player were eating dinner with his teammates and he brought a small salad and diet
drink to the table, all the while murmuring about his waistline and wondering how many fat
grams the salad dressing contained?
Personal experience
Using your own experiences can be a powerful way to appeal to your readers. You should,
however, use personal experience only when it is appropriate to your topic, your writing goals,
and your audience. Personal experience should not be your only form of evidence in most
papers, and some disciplines frown on using personal experience at all. For example, a story
about the microscope you received as a Christmas gift when you were nine years old is
probably not applicable to your biology lab report.
Using evidence in an argument
Does evidence speak for itself?
Absolutely not. After you introduce evidence into your writing, you must say why and how this
evidence supports your argument. In other words, you have to explain the significance of the
evidence and its function in your paper. What turns a fact or piece of information into evidence
is the connection it has with a larger claim or argument: evidence is always evidence for or
against something, and you have to make that link clear.
As writers, we sometimes assume that our readers already know what we are talking about; we
may be wary of elaborating too much because we think the point is obvious. But readers can’t
read our minds: although they may be familiar with many of the ideas we are discussing, they
don’t know what we are trying to do with those ideas unless we indicate it through

explanations, organization, transitions, and so forth. Try to spell out the connections that you
were making in your mind when you chose your evidence, decided where to place it in your
paper, and drew conclusions based on it. Remember, you can always cut prose from your paper
later if you decide that you are stating the obvious.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself about a particular bit of evidence. Answering
them may help you explain how your evidence is related to your overall argument:
1. O.k., I’ve just stated this point, but so what? Why is it interesting? Why should anyone
care?
2. What does this information imply?
3. What are the consequences of thinking this way or looking at a problem this way?
4. I’ve just described what something is like or how I see it, but why is it like that?
5. I’ve just said that something happens-so how does it happen? How does it come to be the
way it is?
6. Why is this information important? Why does it matter?
7. How is this idea related to my thesis? What connections exist between them? Does it
support my thesis? If so, how does it do that?
8. Can I give an example to illustrate this point?
How can I incorporate evidence into my paper?
There are many ways to present your evidence. Often, your evidence will be included as text in
the body of your paper, as a quotation, paraphrase, or summary. Sometimes you might include
graphs, charts, or tables; excerpts from an interview; or photographs or illustrations with
accompanying captions.
Quotations
When you quote, you are reproducing another writer’s words exactly as they appear on the
page. Here are some tips to help you decide when to use quotations:
1. Quote if you can’t say it any better and the author’s words are particularly brilliant, witty,
edgy, distinctive, a good illustration of a point you’re making, or otherwise interesting.
2. Quote if you are using a particularly authoritative source and you need the author’s
expertise to back up your point.
3. Quote if you are analyzing diction, tone, or a writer’s use of a specific word or phrase.
4. Quote if you are taking a position that relies on the reader’s understanding exactly what
another writer says about the topic.
Be sure to introduce each quotation you use, and always cite your sources. See our handout on
quotations for more details on when to quote and how to format quotations.
Like all pieces of evidence, a quotation can’t speak for itself. If you end a paragraph with a
quotation, that may be a sign that you have neglected to discuss the importance of the

quotation in terms of your argument. It’s important to avoid “plop quotations,” that is,
quotations that are just dropped into your paper without any introduction, discussion, or follow-
up.
Paraphrasing
When you paraphrase, you take a specific section of a text and put it into your own words.
Putting it into your own words doesn’t mean just changing or rearranging a few of the author’s
words: to paraphrase well and avoid plagiarism, try setting your source aside and restating the
sentence or paragraph you have just read, as though you were describing it to another person.
Paraphrasing is different than summary because a paraphrase focuses on a particular, fairly
short bit of text (like a phrase, sentence, or paragraph). You’ll need to indicate when you are
paraphrasing someone else’s text by citing your source correctly, just as you would with a
quotation.
When might you want to paraphrase?
1. Paraphrase when you want to introduce a writer’s position, but his or her original words
aren’t special enough to quote.
2. Paraphrase when you are supporting a particular point and need to draw on a certain place
in a text that supports your point—for example, when one paragraph in a source is
especially relevant.
3. Paraphrase when you want to present a writer’s view on a topic that differs from your
position or that of another writer; you can then refute writer’s specific points in your own
words after you paraphrase.
4. Paraphrase when you want to comment on a particular example that another writer uses.
5. Paraphrase when you need to present information that’s unlikely to be questioned.
Summary
When you summarize, you are offering an overview of an entire text, or at least a lengthy
section of a text. Summary is useful when you are providing background information, grounding
your own argument, or mentioning a source as a counter-argument. A summary is less
nuanced than paraphrased material. It can be the most effective way to incorporate a large
number of sources when you don’t have a lot of space. When you are summarizing someone
else’s argument or ideas, be sure this is clear to the reader and cite your source appropriately.
Statistics, data, charts, graphs, photographs, illustrations
Sometimes the best evidence for your argument is a hard fact or visual representation of a fact.
This type of evidence can be a solid backbone for your argument, but you still need to create
context for your reader and draw the connections you want him or her to make. Remember that
statistics, data, charts, graph, photographs, and illustrations are all open to interpretation.
Guide the reader through the interpretation process. Again, always, cite the origin of your
evidence if you didn’t produce the material you are using yourself.

Do I need more evidence?
Let’s say that you’ve identified some appropriate sources, found some evidence, explained to
the reader how it fits into your overall argument, incorporated it into your draft effectively, and
cited your sources. How do you tell whether you’ve got enough evidence and whether it’s
working well in the service of a strong argument or analysis? Here are some techniques you can
use to review your draft and assess your use of evidence.
Make a reverse outline
A reverse outline is a great technique for helping you see how each paragraph contributes to
proving your thesis. When you make a reverse outline, you record the main ideas in each
paragraph in a shorter (outline-like) form so that you can see at a glance what is in your paper.
The reverse outline is helpful in at least three ways. First, it lets you see where you have dealt
with too many topics in one paragraph (in general, you should have one main idea per
paragraph). Second, the reverse outline can help you see where you need more evidence to
prove your point or more analysis of that evidence. Third, the reverse outline can help you write
your topic sentences: once you have decided what you want each paragraph to be about, you
can write topic sentences that explain the topics of the paragraphs and state the relationship of
each topic to the overall thesis of the paper.
For tips on making a reverse outline, see our handout on organization.
Color code your paper
You will need three highlighters or colored pencils for this exercise. Use one color to highlight
general assertions. These will typically be the topic sentences in your paper. Next, use another
color to highlight the specific evidence you provide for each assertion (including quotations,
paraphrased or summarized material, statistics, examples, and your own ideas). Lastly, use
another color to highlight analysis of your evidence. Which assertions are key to your overall
argument? Which ones are especially contestable? How much evidence do you have for each
assertion? How much analysis? In general, you should have at least as much analysis as you do
evidence, or your paper runs the risk of being more summary than argument. The more
controversial an assertion is, the more evidence you may need to provide in order to persuade
your reader.
Play devil’s advocate, act like a child, or doubt everything
This technique may be easiest to use with a partner. Ask your friend to take on one of the roles
above, then read your paper aloud to him/her. After each section, pause and let your friend
interrogate you. If your friend is playing devil’s advocate, he or she will always take the
opposing viewpoint and force you to keep defending yourself. If your friend is acting like a
child, he or she will question every sentence, even seemingly self-explanatory ones. If your
friend is a doubter, he or she won’t believe anything you say. Justifying your position verbally
or explaining yourself will force you to strengthen the evidence in your paper. If you already

have enough evidence but haven’t connected it clearly enough to your main argument,
explaining to your friend how the evidence is relevant or what it proves may help you to do so.
Common questions and additional resources
I have a general topic in mind; how can I develop it so I’ll know what evidence I need?
And how can I get ideas for more evidence? See our handout on brainstorming.
Who can help me find evidence on my topic? Check out Libraries.
I’m writing for a specific purpose; how can I tell what kind of evidence my audience
wants? See our handouts on audience, writing for specific disciplines, and particular
writing assignments.
How should I read materials to gather evidence? See our handout on reading to write.
How can I make a good argument? Check out our handouts on argument and thesis
statements.
How do I tell if my paragraphs and my paper are well-organized? Review our handouts
on paragraph development, transitions, and reorganizing drafts.
How do I quote my sources and incorporate those quotes into my text? Our handouts
on quotations and avoiding plagiarism offer useful tips.
How do I cite my evidence? See the Libraries citation tutorial.
I think that I’m giving evidence, but my instructor says I’m using too much summary. How can
I tell? Check out our handout on using summary wisely.
I want to use personal experience as evidence, but can I say “I”? We have a handout on
when to use “I.”
Works consulted
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
Lunsford, Andrea A., and John J. Ruszkiewicz, John J. Everything’s an argument. Boston:
Bedford/St. Martin’s, 1999
Miller, Richard E., and Kurt Spellmeyer. The New Humanities Reader Home Page. 22 Feb. 2005
http://www.newhum.com/for students/tutorama/index.html.
http://www.lib.umd.edu/UES/primary-sources.html
http://www.library.jcu.edu.au/LibraryGuides/primsrcs.shtml
http://www.lib.umd.edu/UES/library_guides_subject.html

Fallacies
This handout discusses common logical fallacies that you may encounter in your own writing or
the writing of others. The handout provides definitions, examples, and tips on avoiding these
fallacies.
Arguments
Most academic writing tasks require you to make an argument—that is, to present reasons for a
particular claim or interpretation you are putting forward. You may have been told that you
need to make your arguments more logical or stronger. And you may have worried that you
simply aren’t a logical person or wondered what it means for an argument to be strong.
Learning to make the best arguments you can is an ongoing process, but it isn’t impossible:
“Being logical” is something anyone can do, with practice.
Each argument you make is composed of premises (this is a term for statements that express
your reasons or evidence) that are arranged in the right way to support your conclusion (the
main claim or interpretation you are offering). You can make your arguments stronger by
1. using good premises (ones you have good reason to believe are both true and relevant
to the issue at hand),
2. making sure your premises provide good support for your conclusion (and not some
other conclusion, or no conclusion at all),
3. checking that you have addressed the most important or relevant aspects of the issue
(that is, that your premises and conclusion focus on what is really important to the issue),
and
4. not making claims that are so strong or sweeping that you can’t really support
them.
You also need to be sure that you present all of your ideas in an orderly fashion that readers
can follow. See our handouts on argument and organization for some tips that will improve your
arguments.
This handout describes some ways in which arguments often fail to do the things listed above;
these failings are called fallacies. If you’re having trouble developing your argument, check to
see if a fallacy is part of the problem.
It is particularly easy to slip up and commit a fallacy when you have strong feelings about your

topic—if a conclusion seems obvious to you, you’re more likely to just assume that it is true and
to be careless with your evidence. To help you see how people commonly make this mistake,
this handout uses a number of controversial political examples—arguments about subjects like
abortion, gun control, the death penalty, gay marriage, euthanasia, and pornography. The
purpose of this handout, though, is not to argue for any particular position on any of these
issues; rather, it is to illustrate weak reasoning, which can happen in pretty much any kind of
argument. Please be aware that the claims in these examples are just made-up illustrations—
they haven’t been researched, and you shouldn’t use them as evidence in your own writing.
What are fallacies?
Fallacies are defects that weaken arguments. By learning to look for them in your own and
others’ writing, you can strengthen your ability to evaluate the arguments you make, read, and
hear. It is important to realize two things about fallacies: first, fallacious arguments are very,
very common and can be quite persuasive, at least to the casual reader or listener. You can find
dozens of examples of fallacious reasoning in newspapers, advertisements, and other sources.
Second, it is sometimes hard to evaluate whether an argument is fallacious. An argument might
be very weak, somewhat weak, somewhat strong, or very strong. An argument that has several
stages or parts might have some strong sections and some weak ones. The goal of this
handout, then, is not to teach you how to label arguments as fallacious or fallacy-free, but to
help you look critically at your own arguments and move them away from the “weak” and
toward the “strong” end of the continuum.
So what do fallacies look like?
For each fallacy listed, there is a definition or explanation, an example, and a tip on how to
avoid committing the fallacy in your own arguments.
Hasty generalization
Definition: Making assumptions about a whole group or range of cases based on a sample that
is inadequate (usually because it is atypical or too small). Stereotypes about people (“librarians
are shy and smart,” “wealthy people are snobs,” etc.) are a common example of the principle
underlying hasty generalization.
Example: “My roommate said her philosophy class was hard, and the one I’m in is hard, too.
All philosophy classes must be hard!” Two people’s experiences are, in this case, not enough on
which to base a conclusion.
Tip: Ask yourself what kind of “sample” you’re using: Are you relying on the opinions or
experiences of just a few people, or your own experience in just a few situations? If so,
consider whether you need more evidence, or perhaps a less sweeping conclusion. (Notice that
in the example, the more modest conclusion “Some philosophy classes are hard for some
students” would not be a hasty generalization.)

Missing the point
Definition: The premises of an argument do support a particular conclusion—but not the
conclusion that the arguer actually draws.
Example: “The seriousness of a punishment should match the seriousness of the crime. Right
now, the punishment for drunk driving may simply be a fine. But drunk driving is a very serious
crime that can kill innocent people. So the death penalty should be the punishment for drunk
driving.” The argument actually supports several conclusions—”The punishment for drunk
driving should be very serious,” in particular—but it doesn’t support the claim that the death
penalty, specifically, is warranted.
Tip: Separate your premises from your conclusion. Looking at the premises, ask yourself what
conclusion an objective person would reach after reading them. Looking at your conclusion, ask
yourself what kind of evidence would be required to support such a conclusion, and then see if
you’ve actually given that evidence. Missing the point often occurs when a sweeping or extreme
conclusion is being drawn, so be especially careful if you know you’re claiming something big.
Post hoc (also called false cause)
This fallacy gets its name from the Latin phrase “post hoc, ergo propter hoc,” which translates
as “after this, therefore because of this.”
Definition: Assuming that because B comes after A, A caused B. Of course, sometimes one
event really does cause another one that comes later—for example, if I register for a class, and
my name later appears on the roll, it’s true that the first event caused the one that came later.
But sometimes two events that seem related in time aren’t really related as cause and event.
That is, correlation isn’t the same thing as causation.
Examples: “President Jones raised taxes, and then the rate of violent crime went up. Jones is
responsible for the rise in crime.” The increase in taxes might or might not be one factor in the
rising crime rates, but the argument hasn’t shown us that one caused the other.
Tip: To avoid the post hoc fallacy, the arguer would need to give us some explanation of the
process by which the tax increase is supposed to have produced higher crime rates. And that’s
what you should do to avoid committing this fallacy: If you say that A causes B, you should
have something more to say about how A caused B than just that A came first and B came
later.
Slippery slope
Definition: The arguer claims that a sort of chain reaction, usually ending in some dire
consequence, will take place, but there’s really not enough evidence for that assumption. The
arguer asserts that if we take even one step onto the “slippery slope,” we will end up sliding all
the way to the bottom; he or she assumes we can’t stop partway down the hill.
Example: “Animal experimentation reduces our respect for life. If we don’t respect life, we are

likely to be more and more tolerant of violent acts like war and murder. Soon our society will
become a battlefield in which everyone constantly fears for their lives. It will be the end of
civilization. To prevent this terrible consequence, we should make animal experimentation
illegal right now.” Since animal experimentation has been legal for some time and civilization
has not yet ended, it seems particularly clear that this chain of events won’t necessarily take
place. Even if we believe that experimenting on animals reduces respect for life, and loss of
respect for life makes us more tolerant of violence, that may be the spot on the hillside at
which things stop—we may not slide all the way down to the end of civilization. And so we have
not yet been given sufficient reason to accept the arguer’s conclusion that we must make
animal experimentation illegal right now.
Like post hoc, slippery slope can be a tricky fallacy to identify, since sometimes a chain of
events really can be predicted to follow from a certain action. Here’s an example that doesn’t
seem fallacious: “If I fail English 101, I won’t be able to graduate. If I don’t graduate, I
probably won’t be able to get a good job, and I may very well end up doing temp work or
flipping burgers for the next year.”
Tip: Check your argument for chains of consequences, where you say “if A, then B, and if B,
then C,” and so forth. Make sure these chains are reasonable.
Weak analogy
Definition: Many arguments rely on an analogy between two or more objects, ideas, or
situations. If the two things that are being compared aren’t really alike in the relevant respects,
the analogy is a weak one, and the argument that relies on it commits the fallacy of weak
analogy.
Example: “Guns are like hammers—they’re both tools with metal parts that could be used to
kill someone. And yet it would be ridiculous to restrict the purchase of hammers—so restrictions
on purchasing guns are equally ridiculous.” While guns and hammers do share certain features,
these features (having metal parts, being tools, and being potentially useful for violence) are
not the ones at stake in deciding whether to restrict guns. Rather, we restrict guns because
they can easily be used to kill large numbers of people at a distance. This is a feature hammers
do not share—it would be hard to kill a crowd with a hammer. Thus, the analogy is weak, and
so is the argument based on it.
If you think about it, you can make an analogy of some kind between almost any two things in
the world: “My paper is like a mud puddle because they both get bigger when it rains (I work
more when I’m stuck inside) and they’re both kind of murky.” So the mere fact that you can
draw an analogy between two things doesn’t prove much, by itself.
Arguments by analogy are often used in discussing abortion—arguers frequently compare
fetuses with adult human beings, and then argue that treatment that would violate the rights of
an adult human being also violates the rights of fetuses. Whether these arguments are good or
not depends on the strength of the analogy: do adult humans and fetuses share the properties
 
that give adult humans rights? If the property that matters is having a human genetic code or
the potential for a life full of human experiences, adult humans and fetuses do share that
property, so the argument and the analogy are strong; if the property is being self-aware,
rational, or able to survive on one’s own, adult humans and fetuses don’t share it, and the
analogy is weak.
Tip: Identify what properties are important to the claim you’re making, and see whether the
two things you’re comparing both share those properties.
Appeal to authority
Definition: Often we add strength to our arguments by referring to respected sources or
authorities and explaining their positions on the issues we’re discussing. If, however, we try to
get readers to agree with us simply by impressing them with a famous name or by appealing to
a supposed authority who really isn’t much of an expert, we commit the fallacy of appeal to
authority.
Example: “We should abolish the death penalty. Many respected people, such as actor Guy
Handsome, have publicly stated their opposition to it.” While Guy Handsome may be an
authority on matters having to do with acting, there’s no particular reason why anyone should
be moved by his political opinions—he is probably no more of an authority on the death penalty
than the person writing the paper.
Tip: There are two easy ways to avoid committing appeal to authority: First, make sure that
the authorities you cite are experts on the subject you’re discussing. Second, rather than just
saying “Dr. Authority believes X, so we should believe it, too,” try to explain the reasoning or
evidence that the authority used to arrive at his or her opinion. That way, your readers have
more to go on than a person’s reputation. It also helps to choose authorities who are perceived
as fairly neutral or reasonable, rather than people who will be perceived as biased.
Ad populum
Definition: The Latin name of this fallacy means “to the people.” There are several versions of
the ad populum fallacy, but what they all have in common is that in them, the arguer takes
advantage of the desire most people have to be liked and to fit in with others and uses that
desire to try to get the audience to accept his or her argument. One of the most common
versions is the bandwagon fallacy, in which the arguer tries to convince the audience to do or
believe something because everyone else (supposedly) does.
Example: “Gay marriages are just immoral. 70% of Americans think so!” While the opinion of
most Americans might be relevant in determining what laws we should have, it certainly doesn’t
determine what is moral or immoral: there was a time where a substantial number of
Americans were in favor of segregation, but their opinion was not evidence that segregation
was moral. The arguer is trying to get us to agree with the conclusion by appealing to our
desire to fit in with other Americans.
Tip: Make sure that you aren’t recommending that your readers believe your conclusion
because everyone else believes it, all the cool people believe it, people will like you better if you
believe it, and so forth. Keep in mind that the popular opinion is not always the right one.
Ad hominem and tu quoque
Definitions: Like the appeal to authority and ad populum fallacies, the ad hominem (“against
the person”) and tu quoque (“you, too!”) fallacies focus our attention on people rather than on
arguments or evidence. In both of these arguments, the conclusion is usually “You shouldn’t
believe So-and-So’s argument.” The reason for not believing So-and-So is that So-and-So is
either a bad person (ad hominem) or a hypocrite (tu quoque). In an ad hominem argument, the
arguer attacks his or her opponent instead of the opponent’s argument.
Examples: “Andrea Dworkin has written several books arguing that pornography harms
women. But Dworkin is just ugly and bitter, so why should we listen to her?” Dworkin’s
appearance and character, which the arguer has characterized so ungenerously, have nothing
to do with the strength of her argument, so using them as evidence is fallacious.
In a tu quoque argument, the arguer points out that the opponent has actually done the thing
he or she is arguing against, and so the opponent’s argument shouldn’t be listened to. Here’s
an example: imagine that your parents have explained to you why you shouldn’t smoke, and
they’ve given a lot of good reasons—the damage to your health, the cost, and so forth. You
reply, “I won’t accept your argument, because you used to smoke when you were my age. You
did it, too!” The fact that your parents have done the thing they are condemning has no bearing
on the premises they put forward in their argument (smoking harms your health and is very
expensive), so your response is fallacious.
Tip: Be sure to stay focused on your opponents’ reasoning, rather than on their personal
character. (The exception to this is, of course, if you are making an argument about someone’s
character—if your conclusion is “President Jones is an untrustworthy person,” premises about
her untrustworthy acts are relevant, not fallacious.)
Appeal to pity
Definition: The appeal to pity takes place when an arguer tries to get people to accept a
conclusion by making them feel sorry for someone.
Examples: “I know the exam is graded based on performance, but you should give me an A.
My cat has been sick, my car broke down, and I’ve had a cold, so it was really hard for me to
study!” The conclusion here is “You should give me an A.” But the criteria for getting an A have
to do with learning and applying the material from the course; the principle the arguer wants us
to accept (people who have a hard week deserve A’s) is clearly unacceptable. The information
the arguer has given might feel relevant and might even get the audience to consider the
conclusion—but the information isn’t logically relevant, and so the argument is fallacious. Here’s
another example: “It’s wrong to tax corporations—think of all the money they give to charity,
and of the costs they already pay to run their businesses!”

Tip: Make sure that you aren’t simply trying to get your audience to agree with you by making
them feel sorry for someone.
Appeal to ignorance
Definition: In the appeal to ignorance, the arguer basically says, “Look, there’s no conclusive
evidence on the issue at hand. Therefore, you should accept my conclusion on this issue.”
Example: “People have been trying for centuries to prove that God exists. But no one has yet
been able to prove it. Therefore, God does not exist.” Here’s an opposing argument that
commits the same fallacy: “People have been trying for years to prove that God does not exist.
But no one has yet been able to prove it. Therefore, God exists.” In each case, the arguer tries
to use the lack of evidence as support for a positive claim about the truth of a conclusion. There
is one situation in which doing this is not fallacious: if qualified researchers have used well-
thought-out methods to search for something for a long time, they haven’t found it, and it’s the
kind of thing people ought to be able to find, then the fact that they haven’t found it constitutes
some evidence that it doesn’t exist.
Tip: Look closely at arguments where you point out a lack of evidence and then draw a
conclusion from that lack of evidence.
Straw man
Definition: One way of making our own arguments stronger is to anticipate and respond in
advance to the arguments that an opponent might make. In the straw man fallacy, the arguer
sets up a weak version of the opponent’s position and tries to score points by knocking it down.
But just as being able to knock down a straw man (like a scarecrow) isn’t very impressive,
defeating a watered-down version of your opponent’s argument isn’t very impressive either.
Example: “Feminists want to ban all pornography and punish everyone who looks at it! But
such harsh measures are surely inappropriate, so the feminists are wrong: porn and its fans
should be left in peace.” The feminist argument is made weak by being overstated. In fact,
most feminists do not propose an outright “ban” on porn or any punishment for those who
merely view it or approve of it; often, they propose some restrictions on particular things like
child porn, or propose to allow people who are hurt by porn to sue publishers and producers—
not viewers—for damages. So the arguer hasn’t really scored any points; he or she has just
committed a fallacy.
Tip: Be charitable to your opponents. State their arguments as strongly, accurately, and
sympathetically as possible. If you can knock down even the best version of an opponent’s
argument, then you’ve really accomplished something.
Red herring
Definition: Partway through an argument, the arguer goes off on a tangent, raising a side
issue that distracts the audience from what’s really at stake. Often, the arguer never returns to

the original issue.
Example: “Grading this exam on a curve would be the most fair thing to do. After all, classes
go more smoothly when the students and the professor are getting along well.” Let’s try our
premise-conclusion outlining to see what’s wrong with this argument:
Premise: Classes go more smoothly when the students and the professor are getting along well.
Conclusion: Grading this exam on a curve would be the most fair thing to do.
When we lay it out this way, it’s pretty obvious that the arguer went off on a tangent—the fact
that something helps people get along doesn’t necessarily make it more fair; fairness and
justice sometimes require us to do things that cause conflict. But the audience may feel like the
issue of teachers and students agreeing is important and be distracted from the fact that the
arguer has not given any evidence as to why a curve would be fair.
Tip: Try laying your premises and conclusion out in an outline-like form. How many issues do
you see being raised in your argument? Can you explain how each premise supports the
conclusion?
False dichotomy
Definition: In false dichotomy, the arguer sets up the situation so it looks like there are only
two choices. The arguer then eliminates one of the choices, so it seems that we are left with
only one option: the one the arguer wanted us to pick in the first place. But often there are
really many different options, not just two—and if we thought about them all, we might not be
so quick to pick the one the arguer recommends.
Example: “Caldwell Hall is in bad shape. Either we tear it down and put up a new building, or
we continue to risk students’ safety. Obviously we shouldn’t risk anyone’s safety, so we must
tear the building down.” The argument neglects to mention the possibility that we might repair
the building or find some way to protect students from the risks in question—for example, if
only a few rooms are in bad shape, perhaps we shouldn’t hold classes in those rooms.
Tip: Examine your own arguments: if you’re saying that we have to choose between just two
options, is that really so? Or are there other alternatives you haven’t mentioned? If there are
other alternatives, don’t just ignore them—explain why they, too, should be ruled out. Although
there’s no formal name for it, assuming that there are only three options, four options, etc.
when really there are more is similar to false dichotomy and should also be avoided.
Begging the question
Definition: A complicated fallacy; it comes in several forms and can be harder to detect than
many of the other fallacies we’ve discussed. Basically, an argument that begs the question asks
the reader to simply accept the conclusion without providing real evidence; the argument either
relies on a premise that says the same thing as the conclusion (which you might hear referred
to as “being circular” or “circular reasoning”), or simply ignores an important (but questionable)

assumption that the argument rests on. Sometimes people use the phrase “beg the question”
as a sort of general criticism of arguments, to mean that an arguer hasn’t given very good
reasons for a conclusion, but that’s not the meaning we’re going to discuss here.
Examples: “Active euthanasia is morally acceptable. It is a decent, ethical thing to help
another human being escape suffering through death.” Let’s lay this out in premise-conclusion
form:
Premise: It is a decent, ethical thing to help another human being escape suffering through
death.
Conclusion: Active euthanasia is morally acceptable.
If we “translate” the premise, we’ll see that the arguer has really just said the same thing
twice: “decent, ethical” means pretty much the same thing as “morally acceptable,” and “help
another human being escape suffering through death” means something pretty similar to
“active euthanasia.” So the premise basically says, “active euthanasia is morally acceptable,”
just like the conclusion does. The arguer hasn’t yet given us any real reasons why euthanasia is
acceptable; instead, she has left us asking “well, really, why do you think active euthanasia is
acceptable?” Her argument “begs” (that is, evades) the real question.
Here’s a second example of begging the question, in which a dubious premise which is needed
to make the argument valid is completely ignored: “Murder is morally wrong. So active
euthanasia is morally wrong.” The premise that gets left out is “active euthanasia is murder.”
And that is a debatable premise—again, the argument “begs” or evades the question of whether
active euthanasia is murder by simply not stating the premise. The arguer is hoping we’ll just
focus on the uncontroversial premise, “Murder is morally wrong,” and not notice what is being
assumed.
Tip: One way to try to avoid begging the question is to write out your premises and conclusion
in a short, outline-like form. See if you notice any gaps, any steps that are required to move
from one premise to the next or from the premises to the conclusion. Write down the
statements that would fill those gaps. If the statements are controversial and you’ve just
glossed over them, you might be begging the question. Next, check to see whether any of your
premises basically says the same thing as the conclusion (but in different words). If so, you’re
probably begging the question. The moral of the story: you can’t just assume or use as
uncontroversial evidence the very thing you’re trying to prove.
Equivocation
Definition: Equivocation is sliding between two or more different meanings of a single word or
phrase that is important to the argument.
Example: “Giving money to charity is the right thing to do. So charities have a right to our
money.” The equivocation here is on the word “right”: “right” can mean both something that is
correct or good (as in “I got the right answers on the test”) and something to which someone

has a claim (as in “everyone has a right to life”). Sometimes an arguer will deliberately, guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
sneakily equivocate, often on words like “freedom,” “justice,” “rights,” and so forth; other
times, the equivocation is a mistake or misunderstanding. Either way, it’s important that you Hurley, Patrick J. A Concise Introduction to Logic. Thornson Learning, 2000
use the main terms of your argument consistently.
Lunsford, Andrea and John Ruszkiewicz. Everything’s an Argument. Bedford Books, 1998.
Tip: Identify the most important words and phrases in your argument and ask yourself whether
Copi, Irving M. and Carl Cohen. Introduction to Logic. Prentice Hall, 1998.
they could have more than one meaning. If they could, be sure you aren’t slipping and sliding
between those meanings.

So how do I find fallacies in my own writing?

Here are some general tips for finding fallacies in your own arguments:

Pretend you disagree with the conclusion you’re defending. What parts of the
argument would now seem fishy to you? What parts would seem easiest to attack? Give
special attention to strengthening those parts.
List your main points; under each one, list the evidence you have for it. Seeing your
claims and evidence laid out this way may make you realize that you have no good
evidence for a particular claim, or it may help you look more critically at the evidence
you’re using.
Learn which types of fallacies you’re especially prone to, and be careful to check for
them in your work. Some writers make lots of appeals to authority; others are more likely
to rely on weak analogies or set up straw men. Read over some of your old papers to see if
there’s a particular kind of fallacy you need to watch out for.
Be aware that broad claims need more proof than narrow ones. Claims that use
sweeping words like “all,” “no,” “none,” “every,” “always,” “never,” “no one,” and
“everyone” are sometimes appropriate—but they require a lot more proof than less-
sweeping claims that use words like “some,” “many,” “few,” “sometimes,” “usually,” and so
forth.
Double check your characterizations of others, especially your opponents, to be sure
they are accurate and fair.

Can I get some practice with this?

Yes, you can. Follow this link to see a sample argument that’s full of fallacies (and then you can
follow another link to get an explanation of each one). Then there’s a more well-constructed
argument on the same topic.

Works Consulted

We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
 

Figures and Charts
This handout will describe how to use figures and tables to present complicated information in a
way that is accessible and understandable to your reader.
Do I need a figure/table?
When planning your writing, it is important to consider the best way to communicate
information to your audience, especially if you plan to use data in the form of numbers, words,
or images that will help you construct and support your argument. Generally speaking, data
summaries may take the form of text, tables or figures. Most writers are familiar with textual
data summaries and this is often the best way to communicate simple results. A good rule of
thumb is to see if you can present your results clearly in a sentence or two. If so, a table or
figure is probably unnecessary. If your data are too numerous or complicated to be described
adequately in this amount of space, figures and tables can be effective ways of conveying lots
of information without cluttering up your text. Additionally, they serve as quick references for
your reader and can reveal trends, patterns, or relationships that might otherwise be difficult to
grasp.
So what’s the difference between a table and a figure anyway?
Tables present lists of numbers or text in columns and can be used to synthesize existing
literature, to explain variables, or to present the wording of survey questions. They are also
used to make a paper or article more readable by removing numeric or listed data from the
text. Tables are typically used to present raw data, not when you want to show a relationship
between variables.
Figures are visual presentations of results. They come in the form of graphs, charts, drawings,
photos, or maps. Figures provide visual impact and can effectively communicate your primary
finding. Traditionally, they are used to display trends and patterns of relationship, but they can
also be used to communicate processes or display complicated data simply. Figures should not
duplicate the same information found in tables and vice versa.
Using Tables
Tables are easily constructed using your word processor’s table function or a spread sheet

program such as Excel. Elements of a table include the Legend or Title, Column Titles, and
the Table Body (quantitative or qualitative data). They may also include subheadings and
footnotes. Remember that it is just as important to think about the organization of tables as it
is to think about the organization of paragraphs. A well-organized table allows readers to grasp
the meaning of the data presented with ease, while a disorganized one will leave the reader
confused about the data itself, or the significance of the data.
Title Tables are headed by a number followed by a clear, descriptive title or caption.
Conventions regarding title length and content vary by discipline. In the hard sciences, a
lengthy explanation of table contents may be acceptable. In other disciplines, titles should be
descriptive but short, and any explanation or interpretation of data should take place in the
text. Be sure to look up examples from published papers within your discipline that you can
use as a model. It may also help to think of the title as the “topic sentence” of the table—it
tells the reader what the table is about and how it’s organized. Tables are read from the top
down, so titles go above the body of the table and are left-justified.
Column titles The goal of column headings is to simplify and clarify the table, allowing the
reader to understand the components of the table quickly. Therefore, column titles should be
brief and descriptive and should include units of analysis.
Table body This is where your data are located, whether they are numerical or textual. Again,
organize your table in a way that helps the reader understand the significance of the data. Be
sure to think about what you want your readers to compare, and put that information in the
column (up and down) rather than in the row (across). In other words, construct your table so
that like elements read down, not across. When using numerical data with decimals, make sure
that the decimal points line up. Whole numbers should line up on the right.
Other table elements
Tables should be labeled with a number preceding the table title; tables and figures are labeled
independently of one another. Tables should also have lines demarcating different parts of the
table (title, column headers, data, and footnotes if present). Gridlines or boxes should not be
included in printed versions. Tables may or may not include other elements, such as
subheadings or footnotes.
Quick Reference for Tables
Tables should be:
Centered on the page.
Numbered in the order they appear in the text.
Referenced in the order they appear in the text.
Labeled with the table number and descriptive title above the table.
Labeled with column and/or row labels that describe the data, including units of

 measurement.
Set apart from the text itself; text does not flow around the table. Using Figures

Table 1. Physical characteristics of the Doctor in the new series of Doctor Who Figures can take many forms. They may be graphs, diagrams, photos, drawings, or maps.
Think deliberately about your purpose and use common sense to choose the most effective
Height Age (yrs.) figure for communicating the main point. If you want your reader to understand spatial
relationships a map or photograph may be the best choice. If you want to illustrate
proportions, experiment with a pie chart or bar graph. If you want to illustrate the relationship
Ninth Doctor 6’0” 41
between two variables, try a line graph or a scatterplot (more on various types of graphs
below). Although there are many types of figures, like tables, they share some typical
Tenth Doctor 6’1” 35 features: captions, the image itself, and any necessary contextual information (which will
vary depending on the type of figure you use).

Figure captions Figures should be labeled with a number followed by a descriptive caption or
Eleventh 5’11” 25 title. Captions should be concise but comprehensive. They should describe the data shown,
Doctor draw attention to important features contained within the figure, and may sometimes also
include interpretations of the data. Figures are typically read from the bottom up so captions
Table 2. Physical characteristics of the Doctor in the new series of Doctor Who go below the figure and are left-justified.

Image The most important consideration for figures is simplicity. Choose images the viewer
Personal Wardrobe can grasp and interpret clearly and quickly. Consider size, resolution, color, and prominence of
Appearance important features. Figures should be large enough and of sufficient resolution for the viewer
to make out details without straining their eyes. Also consider the format your paper will
Close-cropped Black leather
Ninth Doctor hair ultimately take. Journals typically publish figures in black and white, so any information coded
jacket
by color will be lost to the reader. On the other hand, color might be a good choice for papers
Blue eyes Dark coloured, published to the web or for PowerPoint presentations. In any case, use figure elements like
v-necked shirts color, line, and pattern for effect, not for flash.
Slightly stockier
build Black combat Additional Information Figures should be labeled with a number preceding the table title;
boots tables and figures are numbered independently of one another. Also be sure to include any
additional contextual information your viewer needs to understand the figure. For graphs, this
Longer, Beige trench may include labels, a legend explaining symbols, and vertical or horizontal tick marks. For
Tenth Doctor mussed-up hair coat maps, you’ll need to include a scale and north arrow. If you’re unsure about contextual
information, check out several types of figures that are commonly used in your discipline.
Brown eyes Pin-striped suit
and tie Quick Reference for Figures
Very thin build
Chuck Taylors
Figures should be:
Longer, side- Brown tweed
Eleventh Centered on the page.
swept hair jacket
Doctor Labeled (under the figure) with the figure number and appropriate descriptive title (“Figure”
Green eyes Bow tie and can be spelled out [“Figure 1.”] or abbreviated [“Fig. 1.”] as long as you are consistent).
suspenders Numbered in the order they appear in the text.
Slightly stockier Referenced in the order they appear in the text (i.e. Figure 1 is referenced in the text
build Black Boots

 
 before Figure 2 and so forth).
Set apart from the text; text does not flow around figures.

Graphs Every graph is a figure but not every figure is a graph. Graphs are a particular set of
figures that display quantitative relationships between variables. Some of the most common
graphs include bar charts, frequency histograms, pie charts, scatter plots, and line graphs, each
of which displays trends or relationships within and among datasets in a different way. You’ll
need to carefully choose the best graph for your data and the relationship within it that you
want to show. More details about some common graph types are provided below. Some good
advice regarding the construction of graphs is to keep it simple. Remember that the main
objective of your graph is communication. If your viewer is unable to visually decode your
graph, then you have failed to communicate the information contained within it.

Pie Charts Pie charts are used to show relative proportions, specifically the relationship of a
number of parts to the whole. Use pie charts only when the parts of the pie are mutually
exclusive categories and the sum of parts adds up to a meaningful whole (100% of
something). Pie charts are good at showing “big picture” relationships (i.e. some categories
make up “a lot” or “a little” of the whole thing). However, if you want your reader to discern
fine distinctions within your data, the pie chart is not for you. Humans are not very good at
making comparisons based on angles. We are much better at comparing length, so try a bar
chart as an alternative way to show relative proportions. Additionally, pie charts with lots of
little slices or slices of very different sizes are difficult to read so limit yours to 5-7 categories.
Examples of bad pie charts:
Figure 2. Leisure activities of Venusian teenagers (Slices do not add up to anything)
Bar Graphs: Bar graphs are also used to display proportions. In particular, they are useful
for showing the relationship between independent and dependent variables, where the
independent variables are discrete (often nominal) categories. Some examples are occupation,
gender, and species. Bar graphs can be vertical or horizontal. In a vertical bar graph the
independent variable is shown on the x axis (left to right) and the dependent variable on the y
axis (up and down). In a horizontal one, the dependent variable will be shown on the
horizontal (x) axis, the independent on the vertical (y) axis. The scale and origin of the graph
should be meaningful. If the dependent (numeric) variable has a natural zero point, it is
commonly used as a point of origin for the bar chart. However, zero is not always the best
choice. You should experiment with both origin and scale to best show the relevant trends in
your data without misleading the viewer in terms of the strength or extent of those trends.

Figure 1. Elements in Martian soil (Too many slices)

 
Figure 3. Genders of spaceship crew members in popular television series
Frequency Histograms/distributions: Frequency histograms are a special type of bar graph
that show the relationship between independent and dependent variables, where the
independent variable is continuous, rather than discrete. This means that each bar represents
a range of values, rather than a single observation. The dependent variables in a histogram are
always numeric, but may be absolute (counts) or relative (percentages). Frequency histograms
are good for describing populations—examples include the distribution of exam scores for
students in a class or the age distribution of the people living in Chapel Hill. You can
experiment with bar ranges (also known as “bins”) to achieve the best level of detail, but each
range or bin should be of uniform width and clearly labeled.
Figure 4. The effect of weather on UFO sightings
XY line graphs: Line graphs are similar to scatter plots in that they display data along two
axes of variation. Line graphs, however, plot a series of related values that depict a change in
one variable as a function of another, for example, world population (dependent) over time
(independent). Individual data points are joined by a line, drawing the viewer’s attention to
local change between adjacent points, as well as to larger trends in the data. Line graphs are
similar to bar graphs, but are better at showing the rate of change between two points. Line
graphs can also be used to compare multiple dependent variables by plotting multiple lines on
the same graph.

XY scatter plots: Scatter plots are another way to illustrate the relationship between two
variables. In this case, data are displayed as points in an x,y coordinate system, where each
point represents one observation along two axes of variation. Often, scatter plots are used to
illustrate correlation between two variables—as one variable increases, the other increases
(positive correlation) or decreases (negative correlation). However, correlation does not
necessarily imply that changes in one variable cause changes in the other. For instance, a
third, unplotted variable may be causing both. In other words, scatter plots can be used to
graph one independent and one dependent variable, or they can be used to plot two
independent variables. In cases where one variable is dependent on another (for example,
height depends partly on age), plot the independent variable on the horizontal (x) axis, and the
dependent variable on the vertical (y) axis. In addition to correlation (a linear relationship),
scatter plots can be used to plot non-linear relationships between variables.

 

Figure 5. Age of the actor of each Doctor Who regeneration (1-11)
General Tips for Graphs
Strive for simplicity. Your data will be complex. Don’t be tempted to convey the complexity of
your data in graphical form. Your job (and the job of your graph) is to communicate the most
important thing about the data. Think of graphs like you think of paragraphs—if you have
several important things to say about your data, make several graphs, each of which highlights
one important point you want to make.
Strive for clarity. Make sure that your data are portrayed in a way that is visually clear. Make
sure that you have explained the elements of the graph clearly. Consider your audience. Will
your reader be familiar with the type of figure you are using (such as a boxplot)? If not, or if
you’re not sure, you may need to explain boxplot conventions in the text. Avoid “chartjunk.”
Superfluous elements just make graphs visually confusing. Your reader does not want to spend
15 minutes figuring out the point of your graph.
Strive for accuracy. Carefully check your graph for errors. Even a simple graphical error can
change the meaning and interpretation of the data. Use graphs responsibly. Don’t manipulate
the data so that it looks like it’s saying something it’s not—savvy viewers will see through this
ruse and you will come off as incompetent at best and dishonest at worst.
How should tables and figures interact with text?
Placement of figures and tables within the text is discipline-specific. In manuscripts (such as
lab reports and drafts) it is conventional to put tables and figures on separate pages from the

text, as near as possible to the place where you first refer to it. You can also put all the figures
and tables at the end of the paper to avoid breaking up the text. Figures and tables may also
be embedded in the text, as long as the text itself isn’t broken up into small chunks. Complex
raw data is conventionally presented in an appendix. Be sure to check on conventions for the
placement of figures and tables in your discipline.
You can use text to guide the reader in interpreting the information included in a figure or table.
or graph—tell the reader what the figure or table conveys and why it was important to include
it.
When referring to tables and graphs from within the text, you can use:
Clauses beginning with “as”: “As shown in Table 1, …”
Passive voice: “results are shown in Table 1.”
Active voice (if appropriate for your discipline): “Table 1 shows that …”
Parentheses: “Each sample tested positive for three nutrients (Table 1).
Works consulted
Almost Everything You Wanted to Know about Making Tables and Figures
http://abacus.bates.edu/~ganderso/biology/resources/writing/HTWtablefigs.html
Twelve Steps to Developing Effective Tables and Figures San Francisco Edit
http://www.sfedit.net/tabfig.pdf
Beam’s Crash Course in Tables, Figures, and Appendices
feh.eng.ohio-state.edu/labs/figures,%20tables,%20appendices.doc
Using Figures, Tables, and Graphs
http://www.monash.edu.au/lls/llonline/writing/science/process/2.1.xml
Psychology with Style: A Hypertext Writing Guide
http://www.uwsp.edu/psych/mp/APA/apa4b.htm
The Elements of Graph Data by William S. Cleveland


Introductions
This handout will explain the functions of introductions, offer strategies for writing effective
ones, help you check your drafted introductions, and provide you with examples of
introductions to be avoided.
The role of introductions
Introductions and conclusions can be the most difficult parts of papers to write. Usually when
you sit down to respond to an assignment, you have at least some sense of what you want to
say in the body of your paper. You might have chosen a few examples you want to use or have
an idea that will help you answer the main question of your assignment: these sections,
therefore, are not as hard to write. But these middle parts of the paper can’t just come out of
thin air; they need to be introduced and concluded in a way that makes sense to your reader.
Your introduction and conclusion act as bridges that transport your readers from their own lives
into the “place” of your analysis. If your readers pick up your paper about education in the
autobiography of Frederick Douglass, for example, they need a transition to help them leave
behind the world of Chapel Hill, television, e-mail, and the The Daily Tar Heel and to help them
temporarily enter the world of nineteenth-century American slavery. By providing an
introduction that helps your readers make a transition between their own world and the issues
you will be writing about, you give your readers the tools they need to get into your topic and
care about what you are saying. Similarly, once you’ve hooked your reader with the
introduction and offered evidence to prove your thesis, your conclusion can provide a bridge to
help your readers make the transition back to their daily lives. (See our handout on
conclusions.)
Why bother writing a good introduction?
You never get a second chance to make a first impression. The opening paragraph of
your paper will provide your readers with their initial impressions of your argument, your
writing style, and the overall quality of your work. A vague, disorganized, error-filled, off-the-
wall, or boring introduction will probably create a negative impression. On the other hand, a
concise, engaging, and well-written introduction will start your readers off thinking highly of
you, your analytical skills, your writing, and your paper. This impression is especially important
when the audience you are trying to reach (your instructor) will be grading your work.

Your introduction is an important road map for the rest of your paper. Your introduction
conveys a lot of information to your readers. You can let them know what your topic is, why it
is important, and how you plan to proceed with your discussion. In most academic disciplines,
your introduction should contain a thesis that will assert your main argument. It should also,
ideally, give the reader a sense of the kinds of information you will use to make that argument
and the general organization of the paragraphs and pages that will follow. After reading your
introduction, your readers should not have any major surprises in store when they read the
main body of your paper.
Ideally, your introduction will make your readers want to read your paper. The
introduction should capture your readers’ interest, making them want to read the rest of your
paper. Opening with a compelling story, a fascinating quotation, an interesting question, or a
stirring example can get your readers to see why this topic matters and serve as an invitation
for them to join you for an interesting intellectual conversation.
Strategies for writing an effective introduction
Start by thinking about the question (or questions) you are trying to answer. Your
entire essay will be a response to this question, and your introduction is the first step toward
that end. Your direct answer to the assigned question will be your thesis, and your thesis will be
included in your introduction, so it is a good idea to use the question as a jumping off point.
Imagine that you are assigned the following question:
Education has long been considered a major force for American social change, righting the
wrongs of our society. Drawing on the Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, discuss
the relationship between education and slavery in 19th-century America. Consider the
following: How did white control of education reinforce slavery? How did Douglass and
other enslaved African Americans view education while they endured slavery? And what
role did education play in the acquisition of freedom? Most importantly, consider the degree
to which education was or was not a major force for social change with regard to slavery.
You will probably refer back to your assignment extensively as you prepare your complete
essay, and the prompt itself can also give you some clues about how to approach the
introduction. Notice that it starts with a broad statement, that education has been considered a
major force for social change, and then narrows to focus on specific questions from the book.
One strategy might be to use a similar model in your own introduction —start off with a big
picture sentence or two about the power of education as a force for change as a way of getting
your reader interested and then focus in on the details of your argument about Douglass. Of
course, a different approach could also be very successful, but looking at the way the professor
set up the question can sometimes give you some ideas for how you might answer it.
Decide how general or broad your opening should be. Keep in mind that even a “big
picture” opening needs to be clearly related to your topic; an opening sentence that said
“Human beings, more than any other creatures on earth, are capable of learning” would be too

broad for our sample assignment about slavery and education. If you have ever used Google
Maps or similar programs, that experience can provide a helpful way of thinking about how
broad your opening should be. Imagine that you’re researching Chapel Hill. If what you want to
find out is whether Chapel Hill is at roughly the same latitude as Rome, it might make sense to
hit that little “minus” sign on the online map until it has zoomed all the way out and you can
see the whole globe. If you’re trying to figure out how to get from Chapel Hill to Wrightsville
Beach, it might make more sense to zoom in to the level where you can see most of North
Carolina (but not the rest of the world, or even the rest of the United States). And if you are
looking for the intersection of Ridge Road and Manning Drive so that you can find the Writing
Center’s main office, you may need to zoom all the way in. The question you are asking
determines how “broad” your view should be. In the sample assignment above, the questions
are probably at the “state” or “city” level of generality. But the introductory sentence about
human beings is mismatched—it’s definitely at the “global” level. When writing, you need to
place your ideas in context—but that context doesn’t generally have to be as big as the whole
galaxy! (See our handout on understanding assignments for additional information on the
hidden clues in assignments.)
Try writing your introduction last. You may think that you have to write your introduction
first, but that isn’t necessarily true, and it isn’t always the most effective way to craft a good
introduction. You may find that you don’t know what you are going to argue at the beginning of
the writing process, and only through the experience of writing your paper do you discover your
main argument. It is perfectly fine to start out thinking that you want to argue a particular
point, but wind up arguing something slightly or even dramatically different by the time you’ve
written most of the paper. The writing process can be an important way to organize your ideas,
think through complicated issues, refine your thoughts, and develop a sophisticated argument.
However, an introduction written at the beginning of that discovery process will not necessarily
reflect what you wind up with at the end. You will need to revise your paper to make sure that
the introduction, all of the evidence, and the conclusion reflect the argument you intend.
Sometimes it’s easiest to just write up all of your evidence first and then write the introduction
last—that way you can be sure that the introduction will match the body of the paper.
Don’t be afraid to write a tentative introduction first and then change it later. Some
people find that they need to write some kind of introduction in order to get the writing process
started. That’s fine, but if you are one of those people, be sure to return to your initial
introduction later and rewrite if necessary.
Open with an attention grabber. Sometimes, especially if the topic of your paper is
somewhat dry or technical, opening with something catchy can help. Consider these options:
1. an intriguing example (for example, the mistress who initially teaches Douglass but then
ceases her instruction as she learns more about slavery)
2. a provocative quotation (Douglass writes that “education and slavery were incompatible
with each other”)
3. a puzzling scenario (Frederick Douglass says of slaves that “[N]othing has been left undone
 
to cripple their intellects, darken their minds, debase their moral nature, obliterate all
traces of their relationship to mankind; and yet how wonderfully they have sustained the
mighty load of a most frightful bondage, under which they have been groaning for
centuries!” Douglass clearly asserts that slave owners went to great lengths to destroy the
mental capacities of slaves, yet his own life story proves that these efforts could be
unsuccessful.)
4. a vivid and perhaps unexpected anecdote (for example, “Learning about slavery in the
American history course at Frederick Douglass High School, students studied the work
slaves did, the impact of slavery on their families, and the rules that governed their lives.
We didn’t discuss education, however, until one student, Mary, raised her hand and asked,
‘But when did they go to school?’ That modern high school students could not conceive of
an American childhood devoid of formal education speaks volumes about the centrality of
education to American youth today and also suggests the significance of the deprivation of
education in past generations.”)
5. a thought-provoking question (given all of the freedoms that were denied enslaved
individuals in the American South, why does Frederick Douglass focus his attentions so
squarely on education and literacy?)
Pay special attention to your first sentence. Start off on the right foot with your readers by
making sure that the first sentence actually says something useful and that it does so in an
interesting and error-free way.
Be straightforward and confident. Avoid statements like “In this paper, I will argue that
Frederick Douglass valued education.” While this sentence points toward your main argument,
it isn’t especially interesting. It might be more effective to say what you mean in a declarative
sentence. It is much more convincing to tell us that “Frederick Douglass valued education” than
to tell us that you are going to say that he did. Assert your main argument confidently. After
all, you can’t expect your reader to believe it if it doesn’t sound like you believe it!
How to evaluate your introduction draft
Ask a friend to read it and then tell you what he or she expects the paper will discuss, what
kinds of evidence the paper will use, and what the tone of the paper will be. If your friend is
able to predict the rest of your paper accurately, you probably have a good introduction.
Five kinds of less effective introductions
1. The place holder introduction. When you don’t have much to say on a given topic, it is
easy to create this kind of introduction. Essentially, this kind of weaker introduction contains
several sentences that are vague and don’t really say much. They exist just to take up the
“introduction space” in your paper. If you had something more effective to say, you would
probably say it, but in the meantime this paragraph is just a place holder.
Example: Slavery was one of the greatest tragedies in American history. There were many
 different aspects of slavery. Each created different kinds of problems for enslaved people. school book reports. It gives the name and author of the book you are writing about, tells what
the book is about, and offers other basic facts about the book. You might resort to this sort of
2. The restated question introduction. Restating the question can sometimes be an introduction when you are trying to fill space because it’s a familiar, comfortable format. It is
effective strategy, but it can be easy to stop at JUST restating the question instead of offering a ineffective because it offers details that your reader already knows and that are irrelevant to
more specific, interesting introduction to your paper. The professor or teaching assistant wrote the thesis.
your questions and will be reading ten to seventy essays in response to them—he or she does
not need to read a whole paragraph that simply restates the question. Try to do something Example: Frederick Douglass wrote his autobiography, Narrative of the Life of Frederick
more interesting. Douglass, An American Slave, in the 1840s. It was published in 1986 by Penguin Books. In
it, he tells the story of his life.
Example: Indeed, education has long been considered a major force for American social
change, righting the wrongs of our society. The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass Works consulted
discusses the relationship between education and slavery in 19th century America, showing
how white control of education reinforced slavery and how Douglass and other enslaved
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
African Americans viewed education while they endured. Moreover, the book discusses the
comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
role that education played in the acquisition of freedom. Education was a major force for
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
social change with regard to slavery.
the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
3. The Webster’s Dictionary introduction. This introduction begins by giving the dictionary guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
definition of one or more of the words in the assigned question. This introduction strategy is on
All quotations are from Frederick Douglass, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An
the right track—if you write one of these, you may be trying to establish the important terms of
American Slave, edited and with introduction by Houston A. Baker, Jr., New York: Penguin
the discussion, and this move builds a bridge to the reader by offering a common, agreed-upon
Books, 1986.
definition for a key idea. You may also be looking for an authority that will lend credibility to
your paper. However, anyone can look a word up in the dictionary and copy down what
Webster says—it may be far more interesting for you (and your reader) if you develop your own
definition of the term in the specific context of your class and assignment, or if you use a
defintion from one of the sources you’ve been reading for class. Also recognize that the
dictionary is also not a particularly authoritative work—it doesn’t take into account the context
of your course and doesn’t offer particularly detailed information. If you feel that you must seek
out an authority, try to find one that is very relevant and specific. Perhaps a quotation from a
source reading might prove better? Dictionary introductions are also ineffective simply because
they are so overused. Many graders will see twenty or more papers that begin in this way,
greatly decreasing the dramatic impact that any one of those papers will have.

Example: Webster’s dictionary defines slavery as “the state of being a slave,” as “the
practice of owning slaves,” and as “a condition of hard work and subjection.”

4. The “dawn of man” introduction. This kind of introduction generally makes broad,
sweeping statements about the relevance of this topic since the beginning of time. It is usually
very general (similar to the place holder introduction) and fails to connect to the thesis. You
may write this kind of introduction when you don’t have much to say—which is precisely why it
is ineffective.

Example: Since the dawn of man, slavery has been a problem in human history.

5. The book report introduction. This introduction is what you had to do for your elementary

 

Literature Reviews
This handout will explain what a literature review is and offer insights into the form and
construction of a literature review in the humanities, social sciences, and sciences.
Introduction
OK. You’ve got to write a literature review. You dust off a novel and a book of poetry, settle
down in your chair, and get ready to issue a “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” as you leaf through
the pages. “Literature review” done. Right?
Wrong! The “literature” of a literature review refers to any collection of materials on a topic, not
necessarily the great literary texts of the world. “Literature” could be anything from a set of
government pamphlets on British colonial methods in Africa to scholarly articles on the
treatment of a torn ACL. And a review does not necessarily mean that your reader wants you to
give your personal opinion on whether or not you liked these sources.
What is a literature review, then?
A literature review discusses published information in a particular subject area, and sometimes
information in a particular subject area within a certain time period.
A literature review can be just a simple summary of the sources, but it usually has an
organizational pattern and combines both summary and synthesis. A summary is a recap of the
important information of the source, but a synthesis is a re-organization, or a reshuffling, of
that information. It might give a new interpretation of old material or combine new with old
interpretations. Or it might trace the intellectual progression of the field, including major
debates. And depending on the situation, the literature review may evaluate the sources and
advise the reader on the most pertinent or relevant.
But how is a literature review different from an academic research paper?
The main focus of an academic research paper is to develop a new argument, and a research
paper will contain a literature review as one of its parts. In a research paper, you use the
literature as a foundation and as support for a new insight that you contribute. The focus of a
literature review, however, is to summarize and synthesize the arguments and ideas of others
without adding new contributions.

Why do we write literature reviews?
Literature reviews provide you with a handy guide to a particular topic. If you have limited time
to conduct research, literature reviews can give you an overview or act as a stepping stone. For
professionals, they are useful reports that keep them up to date with what is current in the
field. For scholars, the depth and breadth of the literature review emphasizes the credibility of
the writer in his or her field. Literature reviews also provide a solid background for a research
paper’s investigation. Comprehensive knowledge of the literature of the field is essential to
most research papers.
Who writes these things, anyway?
Literature reviews are written occasionally in the humanities, but mostly in the sciences and
social sciences; in experiment and lab reports, they constitute a section of the paper.
Sometimes a literature review is written as a paper in itself.
Let’s get to it! What should I do before writing the literature review?
Clarify
If your assignment is not very specific, seek clarification from your instructor:
Roughly how many sources should you include?
What types of sources (books, journal articles, websites)?
Should you summarize, synthesize, or critique your sources by discussing a common theme
or issue?
Should you evaluate your sources?
Should you provide subheadings and other background information, such as definitions
and/or a history?
Find models
Look for other literature reviews in your area of interest or in the discipline and read them to
get a sense of the types of themes you might want to look for in your own research or ways to
organize your final review. You can simply put the word “review” in your search engine along
with your other topic terms to find articles of this type on the Internet or in an electronic
database. The bibliography or reference section of sources you’ve already read are also
excellent entry points into your own research.
Narrow your topic
There are hundreds or even thousands of articles and books on most areas of study. The
narrower your topic, the easier it will be to limit the number of sources you need to read in
order to get a good survey of the material. Your instructor will probably not expect you to read
everything that’s out there on the topic, but you’ll make your job easier if you first limit your
scope.

And don’t forget to tap into your professor’s (or other professors’) knowledge in the field. Ask
your professor questions such as: “If you had to read only one book from the 70
s on topic X,
what would it be?” Questions such as this help you to find and determine quickly the most
seminal pieces in the field.
Consider whether your sources are current
Some disciplines require that you use information that is as current as possible. In the sciences,
for instance, treatments for medical problems are constantly changing according to the latest
studies. Information even two years old could be obsolete. However, if you are writing a review
in the humanities, history, or social sciences, a survey of the history of the literature may be
what is needed, because what is important is how perspectives have changed through the years
or within a certain time period. Try sorting through some other current bibliographies or
literature reviews in the field to get a sense of what your discipline expects. You can also use
this method to consider what is currently of interest to scholars in this field and what is not.
Strategies for writing the literature review
Find a focus
A literature review, like a term paper, is usually organized around ideas, not the sources
themselves as an annotated bibliography would be organized. This means that you will not just
simply list your sources and go into detail about each one of them, one at a time. No. As you
read widely but selectively in your topic area, consider instead what themes or issues connect
your sources together. Do they present one or different solutions? Is there an aspect of the field
that is missing? How well do they present the material and do they portray it according to an
appropriate theory? Do they reveal a trend in the field? A raging debate? Pick one of these
themes to focus the organization of your review.
Construct a working thesis statement
Then use the focus you’ve found to construct a thesis statement. Yes! Literature reviews have
thesis statements as well! However, your thesis statement will not necessarily argue for a
position or an opinion; rather it will argue for a particular perspective on the material. Some
sample thesis statements for literature reviews are as follows:
The current trend in treatment for congestive heart failure combines surgery and
medicine.
More and more cultural studies scholars are accepting popular media as a subject
worthy of academic consideration.
See our handout for more information on how to construct thesis statements.
Consider organization

You’ve got a focus, and you’ve narrowed it down to a thesis statement. Now what is the most
effective way of presenting the information? What are the most important topics, subtopics,
etc., that your review needs to include? And in what order should you present them? Develop
an organization for your review at both a global and local level:
First, cover the basic categories
Just like most academic papers, literature reviews also must contain at least three
basic elements: an introduction or background information section; the body of the
review containing the discussion of sources; and, finally, a conclusion and/or
recommendations section to end the paper.
Introduction: Gives a quick idea of the topic of the literature review, such as the central
theme or organizational pattern.
Body: Contains your discussion of sources and is organized either chronologically,
thematically, or methodologically (see below for more information on each).
Conclusions/Recommendations: Discuss what you have drawn from reviewing literature
so far. Where might the discussion proceed?
Organizing the body
Once you have the basic categories in place, then you must consider how you will
present the sources themselves within the body of your paper. Create an organizational
method to focus this section even further.
To help you come up with an overall organizational framework for your review, consider
the following scenario and then three typical ways of organizing the sources into a
review:
You’ve decided to focus your literature review on materials dealing with sperm whales.
This is because you’ve just finished reading Moby Dick, and you wonder if that whale’s
portrayal is really real. You start with some articles about the physiology of sperm
whales in biology journals written in the 1980
s. But these articles refer to some British
biological studies performed on whales in the early 18th century. So you check those
out. Then you look up a book written in 1968 with information on how sperm whales
have been portrayed in other forms of art, such as in Alaskan poetry, in French
painting, or on whale bone, as the whale hunters in the late 19th century used to do.
This makes you wonder about American whaling methods during the time portrayed in
Moby Dick, so you find some academic articles published in the last five years on how
accurately Herman Melville portrayed the whaling scene in his novel.
Chronological
If your review follows the chronological method, you could write about the materials
above according to when they were published. For instance, first you would talk about

the British biological studies of the 18th century, then about Moby Dick, published in
1851, then the book on sperm whales in other art (1968), and finally the biology
articles (1980s) and the recent articles on American whaling of the 19th century. But
there is relatively no continuity among subjects here. And notice that even though the
sources on sperm whales in other art and on American whaling are written recently,
they are about other subjects/objects that were created much earlier. Thus, the review
loses its chronological focus.
By publication
Order your sources by publication chronology, then, only if the order demonstrates
a more important trend. For instance, you could order a review of literature on
biological studies of sperm whales if the progression revealed a change in
dissection practices of the researchers who wrote and/or conducted the studies.
By trend
A better way to organize the above sources chronologically is to examine the
sources under another trend, such as the history of whaling. Then your review
would have subsections according to eras within this period. For instance, the
review might examine whaling from pre-1600-1699, 1700-1799, and 1800-1899.
Under this method, you would combine the recent studies on American whaling in
the 19th century with Moby Dick itself in the 1800-1899 category, even though the
authors wrote a century apart.
Thematic
Thematic reviews of literature are organized around a topic or issue, rather than the
progression of time. However, progression of time may still be an important factor in a
thematic review. For instance, the sperm whale review could focus on the development
of the harpoon for whale hunting. While the study focuses on one topic, harpoon
technology, it will still be organized chronologically. The only difference here between a
“chronological” and a “thematic” approach is what is emphasized the most: the
development of the harpoon or the harpoon technology.
But more authentic thematic reviews tend to break away from chronological order. For
instance, a thematic review of material on sperm whales might examine how they are
portrayed as “evil” in cultural documents. The subsections might include how they are
personified, how their proportions are exaggerated, and their behaviors misunderstood.
A review organized in this manner would shift between time periods within each section
according to the point made.
Methodological
A methodological approach differs from the two above in that the focusing factor
usually does not have to do with the content of the material. Instead, it focuses on the

“methods” of the researcher or writer. For the sperm whale project, one methodological
approach would be to look at cultural differences between the portrayal of whales in
American, British, and French art work. Or the review might focus on the economic
impact of whaling on a community. A methodological scope will influence either the
types of documents in the review or the way in which these documents are discussed.
Once you’ve decided on the organizational method for the body of the review, the
sections you need to include in the paper should be easy to figure out. They should
arise out of your organizational strategy. In other words, a chronological review would
have subsections for each vital time period. A thematic review would have subtopics
based upon factors that relate to the theme or issue.
Sometimes, though, you might need to add additional sections that are necessary for
your study, but do not fit in the organizational strategy of the body. What other
sections you include in the body is up to you. Put in only what is necessary. Here are a
few other sections you might want to consider:
Current Situation: Information necessary to understand the topic or focus of the
literature review.
History: The chronological progression of the field, the literature, or an idea that is
necessary to understand the literature review, if the body of the literature review is not
already a chronology.
Methods and/or Standards: The criteria you used to select the sources in your literature
review or the way in which you present your information. For instance, you might
explain that your review includes only peer-reviewed articles and journals.
Questions for Further Research: What questions about the field has the review
sparked? How will you further your research as a result of the review?
Begin composing
Once you’ve settled on a general pattern of organization, you’re ready to write each section.
There are a few guidelines you should follow during the writing stage as well. Here is a sample
paragraph from a literature review about sexism and language to illuminate the following
discussion:
However, other studies have shown that even gender-neutral antecedents are more
likely to produce masculine images than feminine ones (Gastil, 1990). Hamilton (1988)
asked students to complete sentences that required them to fill in pronouns that
agreed with gender-neutral antecedents such as “writer,” “pedestrian,” and “persons.”
The students were asked to describe any image they had when writing the sentence.
Hamilton found that people imagined 3.3 men to each woman in the masculine
“generic” condition and 1.5 men per woman in the unbiased condition. Thus, while

 ambient sexism accounted for some of the masculine bias, sexist language amplified
the effect. (Source: Erika Falk and Jordan Mills, “Why Sexist Language Affects
Persuasion: The Role of Homophily, Intended Audience, and Offense,” Women and
Language19:2.
Use evidence
In the example above, the writers refer to several other sources when making their point. A
literature review in this sense is just like any other academic research paper. Your
interpretation of the available sources must be backed up with evidence to show that what you
are saying is valid.
Revise, revise, revise
Draft in hand? Now you’re ready to revise. Spending a lot of time revising is a wise idea,
because your main objective is to present the material, not the argument. So check over your
review again to make sure it follows the assignment and/or your outline. Then, just as you
would for most other academic forms of writing, rewrite or rework the language of your review
so that you’ve presented your information in the most concise manner possible. Be sure to use
terminology familiar to your audience; get rid of unnecessary jargon or slang. Finally, double
check that you’ve documented your sources and formatted the review appropriately for your
discipline. For tips on the revising and editing process, see our handouton revising drafts.

Be selective
Works consulted

Select only the most important points in each source to highlight in the review. The type of
information you choose to mention should relate directly to the review’s focus, whether it is We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a
thematic, methodological, or chronological. comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own
research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for
Use quotes sparingly the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For
guidance on formatting citations, please see the Libraries citation tutorial.
Falk and Mills do not use any direct quotes. That is because the survey nature of the literature
review does not allow for in-depth discussion or detailed quotes from the text. Some short Anson, Chris M. and Robert A. Schwegler, The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers.
quotes here and there are okay, though, if you want to emphasize a point, or if what the author Second edition. New York: Longman, 2000.
said just cannot be rewritten in your own words. Notice that Falk and Mills do quote certain
Jones, Robert, Patrick Bizzaro, and Cynthia Selfe. The Harcourt Brace Guide to Writing in the
terms that were coined by the author, not common knowledge, or taken directly from the
Disciplines. New York: Harcourt Brace, 1997.
study. But if you find yourself wanting to put in more quotes, check with your instructor.
Lamb, Sandra E. How to Write It: A Complete Guide to Everything You’ll Ever Write. Berkeley,
Summarize and synthesize
Calif.: Ten Speed Press, 1998.
Remember to summarize and synthesize your sources within each paragraph as well as
Rosen, Leonard J. and Laurence Behrens. The Allyn and Bacon Handbook. Fourth edition.
throughout the review. The authors here recapitulate important features of Hamilton’s study,
Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 2000.
but then synthesize it by rephrasing the study’s significance and relating it to their own work.
Troyka, Lynn Quitman. Simon and Schuster Handbook for Writers. Upper Saddle River, N.J.:
Keep your own voice
Prentice Hall, 2002.
While the literature review presents others’ ideas, your voice (the writer’s) should remain front
and center. Notice that Falk and Mills weave references to other sources into their own text, but
they still maintain their own voice by starting and ending the paragraph with their own ideas
and their own words. The sources support what Falk and Mills are saying.

Use caution when paraphrasing

When paraphrasing a source that is not your own, be sure to represent the author’s information
or opinions accurately and in your own words. In the preceding example, Falk and Mills either
directly refer in the text to the author of their source, such as Hamilton, or they provide ample
notation in the text when the ideas they are mentioning are not their own, for example,
Gastil’s. For more information, please see our handout on plagiarism.

 

Oral History
This handout will help you figure out how to use oral histories in essays. It will give you
suggestions for how to prepare for and conduct oral history interviews and help you determine,
based on your context and purpose, how to integrate raw material into your essay.
Introduction
If we aren’t experts on a particular time or culture, our knowledge of it is often limited to major
events and sweeping trends. This doesn’t necessarily help us understand the everyday
experience of life in the past or in another culture. However, we do know a great deal about
everyday experience in our own time and culture, and a large part of that knowledge comes not
from textbooks but from talking to others. We learn about the histories of our families through
conversation with those who remember them and about what various cultures value by
observing their celebrations and listening to their music, among other things. So if you want to
learn about another culture, country, era, etc., why not use a version of this strategy and talk
to people who are or were part of it about their experiences and memories?
Oral history involves interviewing a person or group to get an inside perspective into what it
was like to live in a particular time or is like to live as the member of a particular group within a
society. Interviewing a group of people can create a picture of that experience, and a large
project of this kind (such as UNC’s Southern Oral History Project) can be a way of preserving a
piece of history. When we interview one person, we gain knowledge of an individual’s
experiences, which may or may not be typical of his or her time and culture. We can also learn
more about the experiences of groups from all sections of society, including the ones whose
experience is not always thoroughly known or well documented, such as the working class,
ethnic or religious minorities, or women.
When professors use oral history projects in classes, they usually ask you to interview only one
or two people. The interview stage of the process requires effective question-making and
interviewing skills. Usually, the project consists of taking raw material from an interview and
shaping it into an essay. This step requires you to make some decisions about how you want to
present the material and analytical skill to help you interpret what you learn.
Who uses oral history projects and why
Fields in which you might be assigned an oral history papers include history, anthropology, and
 
other disciplines that study the experiences of specific social groups such as women or ethnic
groups. The goals of these fields affect the ways they use this kind of project.
History: Historians use evidence to understand the experiences of people in the past. Oral
history can be a valuable source of evidence for understanding the experiences of individuals or
groups within a certain historical period. Oral testimony cannot replace analysis of traditional
historical materials (official documents, letters, newspapers, secondary sources, etc.). It can,
however, reveal the role of individuals in shaping the past and/or how larger trends impacted
the individual. When an oral history essay places the experiences of an individual within the
context of a historical period, it can help illuminate both the individual’s experience and the
historical period.
Folklore: Folklorists study culture as it is expressed in everyday life and often use oral history
projects to gather materials to preserve and study. Interviewing individuals is one of the
primary means of accessing folklore; for example, folklorists use oral histories to learn about a
culture’s musical traditions or festivals.
Anthropology: An archeologist might use oral history to learn more about the lifeways of
peoples who have living descendants or to locate sites for archeological excavation. A cultural
anthropologist might use oral history as a way to understand how individuals think of
themselves in relation to the rest of the world. This technique can help anthropologists
understand how culture shapes individuals either consciously or unconsciously, on the one
hand, and the ways that individuals contribute to the production of culture, on the other hand.
Fields that study marginalized social groups (such as women, African-Americans,
Latino/as): In these fields, conducting and analyzing an interview is a way of uncovering
experience that might be underrepresented in mainstream culture. Dominant cultures have a
tendency not to notice or acknowledge the experiences of certain subgroups, viewing them as
peripheral rather than central—in other words, marginalizing them. Academic fields have
emerged to explore the experiences of marginalized groups, and these fields tend to value
experiential knowledge. Oral history projects can be a way of accessing such knowledge.
Preparing for the interview
Before the interview, familiarize yourself with the history and characteristics of the culture
your interviewee is from. That way, you’ll have a context for what you learn.
Some interviews may be fairly unstructured, with only general guidance from you. For
instance, you may just choose some topics to discuss, allowing the interviewee to lead the
way. This is appropriate when your goal is relatively broad, such as the preservation of the
person’s voice, memories, and perspective, as opposed to using the interview to construct a
focused argument.
Some interviews, especially those in undergraduate course assignments, are more highly
structured and take the shape of a list of questions and responses. This is especially useful
when you hope to use the raw material of the interview to make a particular point or are
 looking to address very focused issues. If you are planning a more structured interview,
prepare a list of questions, including some basic ones about aspects of the person’s identity
(such as age, level of education, and occupation). In devising your questions, consider the
interviewee’s cultural context. Think about what kinds of issues would be most helpful for
you to learn about. For instance, learning how the person felt about major life events might
help you understand how your interviewee sees his or her life as a whole. Questions about
what it was actually like to live through segregation or the Vietnam War might give you a
new perspective on a historical time period. As you ask your questions, work from your list,
but be ready to ask follow-up questions in case you don’t understand the response or want
to know more. A response to one of your questions may also trigger curiosity about some
other issue, so it’s good to be ready to follow whatever path seems most promising.
Include open-ended questions, especially “how” and “why” questions, as they will probably
yield the richest raw material for your essay; asking yes/no questions is okay for gathering
factual information.
Ask for examples when you think it would help you (and the readers of your essay)
understand the person’s perspective.
Conducting the interview
To conduct the interviewing process in an ethical way, ask the person’s permission to use
his/her comments in your essay; written consent is ideal so you have a record of it. If you
are recording a phone conversation, the interviewee’s written consent is requird by law. Ask
if the interviewee would prefer that you not use his or her actual name.
Tape record the interview if possible. If you try to work only from notes, you won’t have an
exact record of the person’s comments and could end up distorting their meaning. Test
your tape recorder, digital voice recorder, or videocamera ahead of time and bring extra
batteries if necessary.
If you’re recording, try to minimize background noise. In any interview setting, try to select
an environment free from distractions, so that both you and the interviewee will be able to
concentrate. Choose a spot where you will both feel comfortable.
Silence will feel awkward at first, but give your interviewee a chance to think. Don’t move
on too quickly just because there is a bit of a pause.
Watch for signs of fatigue. If the person you’re interviewing begins to seem tired, take a
break or set up another time to finish the interview.
Treat the person you’re interviewing with respect, regardless of your own attitudes and
opinions. Making assumptions about the person may damage trust and skew the essay you
write.
Transcribing oral histories
Sometimes, you may be asked to transcribe your oral history interview or part of it.
Transcription is the process of taking a sound file and translating it to text; it creates a written
transcript of an oral conversation. One of the goals of transcribing interviews is to give readers
 
a sense of the interview—how was it formatted, was it formal or informal, did the interviewer
ask a lot of questions or did the interview subject do most of the talking with just a few
prompts, what language and speaking style did the participants use?
A transcript of an oral history interview is, in the words of one style guide, “at best an imperfect
representation of an oral interview. The transcriber’s most important task is to render as close a
replica to the actual event as possible. Accuracy, not speed, is the transcriber’s goal” (Baylor
Style Guide). Therefore, the transcript should reflect, as closely as possible, the words, speech
patterns, and thought patterns of the interview subject. His or her word choice, grammar, and
ideas should be transcribed as accurately as possible. It’s not generally necessary, though, to
reproduce a dialect or accent, unless you have specific training in doing so. The same style
guide says, “Oral history is not an exercise in literary composition; the transcriber should avoid
value judgments about the grammar or vocabulary of an interviewee.”
Transcribing can be a long and very detailed process. It will be easiest if you take detailed
notes during the interview about the different questions, topics, and themes that you discuss.
Write down any memorable phrases or ideas, so you have some markers for different points in
the interview. You will need to listen to the entire portion of the interview to be transcribed
several times. Many people find it helpful to listen all the way through a section once, then
again, transcribing as much as possible, then a third (or fourth, or fifth!) time in order to fill in
all the holes. At the end of this handout, you will find some websites that detail how to
transcribe an oral history interview.
When you have a complete transcript, it is common practice to return it to the interviewee for
editing—these changes can be noted in various ways or integrated into the document.
Interviewees may need to correct things like dates, names, or places. Or they may want to
provide more elaboration or clarification on a subject. Though this is standard practice for
professional historians, your instructor may or may not expect you to do this.
Turning the raw material into an essay
The process you use will depend on what you want your essay to do. If, for instance, you want
your essay merely to showcase an individual’s thoughts on a time or subject, you will simply
need to frame the comments of the interviewee and shape them into a narrative. If, on the
other hand, your intention is to interpret the interviewee’s comments, using them as evidence
for an argument, you will need to make a strong argument while still letting the interviewee’s
experience and insights come through. Your essay might use the interviewee’s comments to
advance an alternate interpretation of a historical time or culture, confirm a commonly held
characterization, or enrich an existing view.
Because oral history papers can vary a great deal according to their aims, make sure to develop
a clear sense of your purpose. The assignment itself may specify quite clearly what kind of an
oral history project you may do or leave many of the choices up to you. In either case, figuring
out what you want your essay to accomplish will help you make definitive decisions about how
to write it.
Decisions you’ll need to make about your project
First, determine the overall purpose of your essay. What would you like your essay to do?
A. Transcribe the comments of the individual.
B. Present the experiences and/or perspective of the individual.
C. Place the individual’s experiences and/or perspective within a larger historical or
social context.
D. Use the individual’s experiences and/or perspective to make an argument about a
larger historical or social context.
(C and D are especially common in undergraduate assignments of this type, but every
assignment is different.)
If you answered B., that you want your essay to present the experiences and/or perspective of the
Based on your answer to the above question, choose which section of this handout you’d like to
individual, consider the following questions and responses.
read. If you’re not certain what you’d like your essay to do, read through all of the following
sections to get a better sense of what your essay might include.
If you answered A., that you want your essay to transcribe the comments of the individual, consider the
following questions and responses.
What should you say about the interviewee’s comments?
Introduce the individual, explain the circumstances of the interview, and then literally
transcribe your questions and their responses.
How should you structure your essay?
Present the questions and responses in the order you asked the questions. You may
also include an introduction that briefly describes the person.
How should you present quotes and use paraphrases?
Transcribe the questions and responses so that paraphrases won’t be necessary. A
question and answer format is a clear way to present a transcription (see the
“examples” section at the end of this handout).
Should you read and/or incorporate secondary sources?
Whether or not you need to use secondary sources is partially a matter of what the
assignment calls for. Secondary sources about the cultural context might help you think
of your questions, but you won’t need to include them in your transcription of the
responses.
Example
 
Here is an example of how you might handle one of your interviewee’s comments
within the body of the essay. Suppose that your paper is for a women’s studies project
in which your instructor has asked you to interview a female family member; you have
chosen to interview your grandmother, Lucretia. Suppose that you asked the following
question: “How free did you feel in terms of choosing your jobs? If you felt limited, why
do you think that might have been?”
If you want your essay to transcribe the interview, you will just present the questions
and answers:
[Your name]: How free did you feel in terms of choosing your jobs? If you felt
limited, why do you think that might have been?
Lucretia: I have always been good at organizing things and getting along with
people, so that made it easy for me to find receptionist jobs. But in those times,
you didn’t see women executives. That was just how things were; people simply
didn’t consider women for those jobs.
What should you say about the interviewee’s comments?
Introduce the individual and outline the topics that the interview explored. Then use
these topics to help you decide whether you want to organize the essay by the
sequence of your questions or by topics that emerged as you reviewed your notes. You
may frame the interviewee’s comments by providing transitions and a conclusion that
reiterates the central point(s) that the interview revealed.
How should you structure your essay?
Your introduction should say a few things about who the person is and name some of
the recurring themes or issues to prepare the reader to notice those in the body of the
essay. The body of the essay should organize the interviewee’s comments, for instance
chronologically or topically, and provide bridges (transitions) between sections.
How should you present quotes and use paraphrases?
Frame your quotes will phrases like “Sue Ellen explained . . .” or “Horatio’s view on
plum trees is that . . .”; if you use paraphrases, be careful not to change their
implications or lose their intent, since your goal is to present rather than interpret. For
this approach as well as the next, our handout on handling quotations might be helpful.
Should you read and/or incorporate secondary sources?
Whether or not you need to use secondary sources is partially a matter of what the
assignment calls for. Secondary sources about the cultural context might help you think
of your questions, but you won’t need to include them in your transcription of the
responses.
 Example
Here is an example of how you might handle one of your interviewee’s comments
within the body of the essay. Suppose that your paper is for a women’s studies project
in which your instructor has asked you to interview a female family member; you have
chosen to interview your grandmother, Lucretia. Suppose that you asked the following
question: “How free did you feel in terms of choosing your jobs? If you felt limited, why
do you think that might have been?”
If your assignment asks you to present (“B”) the results in essay form, you will
integrate the questions and answers into your text, although sometimes you may find it
easier to just paraphrase the question:
While Lucretia does feel that her occupational life offered her some opportunities,
she describes feeling a sense of limitation, at least in retrospect: “I have always
been good at organizing things and getting along with people, so that made it easy
for me to find receptionist jobs. But in those times, you didn’t see women
executives. That was just how things were; people simply didn’t consider women
for those jobs.”
If you answered C., that you want your essay to place the individual’s experiences and/or perspective within
a larger historical or social context, consider the following questions and responses.
What should you say about the interviewee’s comments?
Analyze the responses to your questions and what they illustrate about their historical
or social context. You might consider how your interviewee’s identity (his or her class,
gender, and ethnicity, for instance) relates to the nature of the interviewee’s
experience or perspective. For this kind of essay, you’ll need an analytical thesis
statement (see our handout on thesis statements), a plan for how to organize the
subtopics that demonstrate your thesis, analysis/interpretation of the interviewee’s
comments, and a conclusion that draws your analysis together.
How should you structure your essay?
Your introduction should contain and explain a thesis statement that makes a claim
about the nature of the historical or social context. Organizing the body paragraphs by
topic may be an effective way of explaining how the individual’s experiences fit into the
broader historical or social context.
How should you present quotes and use paraphrases?
You’ll provide framing phrases as in the previous case, but you’ll also need to include
your explanation of the significance of the quotes. A good general guideline is to
include at least as much explanation of the quote as the quote is long. Paraphrases are
helpful when you need just the content of the comment to make your point—that is,
when the language the interviewee uses is not the primary issue. If you’re writing an
analytical or argumentative essay, a mixture of paraphrases and quotes will probably
 
serve your purpose best.
Should you read and/or incorporate secondary sources?
Whether or not you need to use secondary sources is partially a matter of what the
assignment calls for. But if the assignment doesn’t specify, you’ll probably need to read
and perhaps refer explicitly to some secondary sources so that you will have the
necessary evidence to create a picture of the broader historical or social context.
Example
Here is an example of how you might handle one of your interviewee’s comments
within the body of the essay. Suppose that your paper is for a women’s studies project
in which your instructor has asked you to interview a female family member; you have
chosen to interview your grandmother, Lucretia. Suppose that you asked the following
question: “How free did you feel in terms of choosing your jobs? If you felt limited, why
do you think that might have been?”
If your assignment asks you to place the responses in their social context, you will
need to integrate the quotes into text, paired with either the questions themselves or
paraphrases, along with some analysis of how the individual’s experiences fit into his or
her social context. You may even include some references to secondary sources,
depending on the assignment and your own sense of whether they would strengthen
your analysis:
Lucretia describes feeling limited in terms of her occupational life: “I have always
been good at organizing things and getting along with people, so that made it easy
for me to find receptionist jobs. But in those times, you didn’t see women
executives. That was just how things were; people simply didn’t consider women
for those jobs.” Her account reveals a sense of how fixed gender roles were in the
workplace and seems fairly typical for the time and place, as feminist historian
Tammy Ixplox’s scholarship suggests (Ixplox 39).
If you answered D., that you want your essay to use the individual’s experiences and/or perspective to make
an argument about a larger historical or social context, consider the following questions and responses.
What should you say about the interviewee’s comments?
Use the interviewee’s comments as evidence for an argument you want to make about
a particular historical or social context. For instance, you might want to argue that
working-class women’s experience in 1950s America does not necessarily fit with
popularly-held notions of the fifties housewife. Or you might want to show how racism
affected one African-American man’s everyday life to demonstrate how insidious racism
can be. For these kinds of essays, you may need some supporting research to get a
better sense of the historical and social context, so you’ll understand how the
individual’s experience relates to broader cultural trends and phenomena. In terms of
what the essay will look like, you’ll need a thesis that makes a claim, an organizational
plan that reflects the main points you think will best support that thesis, lots of
explanation of how the interviewee’s comments illustrate the thesis, and a conclusion
that draws your argument together.
How should you structure your essay?
You’ll need an introduction with a strong, interpretive thesis statement that the body of
the essay explains and demonstrates. The interviewee’s comments will function as
evidence for your argument, so each body paragraph should correspond to a point in
your argument.
How should you present quotes and use paraphrases?
You’ll provide framing phrases as in the previous case, but you’ll also need to include
your explanation of the significance of the quotes. A good rule of thumb is to include at
least as much explanation of the quote as the quote is long. Paraphrases are helpful
when you need just the content of the comment to make your point—that is, when the
language the interviewee uses is not the primary issue. If you’re writing an analytical
or argumentative essay, a mixture of paraphrases and quotes will probably serve your
purpose best.
Should you read and/or incorporate secondary sources?
Whether or not you need to use secondary sources is partially a matter of what the
assignment calls for. But if the assignment doesn’t specify, you’ll probably need to read
and incorporate some secondary sources to complement or provide a counterpoint to
the interviewee’s comments and to support your claims about the larger historical or
social context.
just how things were; people simply didn’t consider women for those jobs.” In her
experience, no one questioned these roles, which reveals how ingrained and even
internalized social expectations for men and women were at the time. This
phenomenon is consistent with feminist historian Tammy Ixplox’s scholarship on
this cultural context (Ixplox 39).
Relevant websites
Baylor Oral History Institute, “Transcribing Style Guide” (this website has an extensive style
guide about the purpose for transcription and about how to handle various types of speech.):
http://www3.baylor.edu/Oral_History/Styleguiderev.htm
Library of Congress, Veterans History Project, “Indexing and Transcribing Your Interviews”:
http://www.loc.gov/vets/transcribe.html
Making Sense of Oral History (includes a section on interpreting oral history and a sample
interpretation):
http://historymatters.gmu.edu/mse/oral/
Step-by-Step Guide to Oral History (this is geared towards large oral history projQects, but it
makes points that are relevant to a smaller project, such as when you only interview one
person):
http://www.dohistory.org/on_your_own/toolkit/oralHistory.html

Example

Here is an example of how you might handle one of your interviewee’s comments
within the body of the essay. Suppose that your paper is for a women’s studies project
in which your instructor has asked you to interview a female family member; you have
chosen to interview your grandmother, Lucretia. Suppose that you asked the following
question: “How free did you feel in terms of choosing your jobs? If you felt limited, why
do you think that might have been?”

If your assignment asks you to make an argument, for example, about how the
interviewee’s responses reflect gender issues and roles, you will need to integrate the
quotes into your text as evidence for your argument about gender roles, perhaps with
reference to secondary sources if appropriate:

Lucretia’s experiences reveal gender roles in the workplace, in which men tended
to fill the executive positions and women the less prestigious ones. She describes
feeling limited in terms of her occupational life: “I have always been good at
organizing things and getting along with people, so that made it easy for me to find
receptionist jobs. But in those times, you didn’t see women executives. That was

 

Paragraphs
This handout will help you understand how paragraphs are formed, how to develop stronger
paragraphs, and how to completely and clearly express your ideas.
What is a paragraph?
Paragraphs are the building blocks of papers. Many students define paragraphs in terms of
length: a paragraph is a group of at least five sentences, a paragraph is half a page long, etc.
In reality, though, the unity and coherence of ideas among sentences is what constitutes a
paragraph. A paragraph is defined as “a group of sentences or a single sentence that forms a
unit” (Lunsford and Connors 116). Length and appearance do not determine whether a section
in a paper is a paragraph. For instance, in some styles of writing, particularly journalistic styles,
a paragraph can be just one sentence long. Ultimately, a paragraph is a sentence or group of
sentences that support one main idea. In this handout, we will refer to this as the “controlling
idea,” because it controls what happens in the rest of the paragraph.
How do I decide what to put in a paragraph?
Before you can begin to determine what the composition of a particular paragraph will be, you
must first decide on a working thesis for your paper. What is the most important idea that you
are trying to convey to your reader? The information in each paragraph must be related to that
idea. In other words, your paragraphs should remind your reader that there is a recurrent
relationship between your thesis and the information in each paragraph. A working thesis
functions like a seed from which your paper, and your ideas, will grow. The whole process is an
organic one—a natural progression from a seed to a full-blown paper where there are direct,
familial relationships between all of the ideas in the paper.
The decision about what to put into your paragraphs begins with the germination of a seed of
ideas; this “germination process” is better known as brainstorming. There are many techniques
for brainstorming; whichever one you choose, this stage of paragraph development cannot be
skipped. Building paragraphs can be like building a skyscraper: there must be a well-planned
foundation that supports what you are building. Any cracks, inconsistencies, or other
corruptions of the foundation can cause your whole paper to crumble.
So, let’s suppose that you have done some brainstorming to develop your thesis. What else
should you keep in mind as you begin to create paragraphs? Every paragraph in a paper should

be
Unified—All of the sentences in a single paragraph should be related to a single controlling
idea (often expressed in the topic sentence of the paragraph).
Clearly related to the thesis—The sentences should all refer to the central idea, or
thesis, of the paper (Rosen and Behrens 119).
Coherent—The sentences should be arranged in a logical manner and should follow a
definite plan for development (Rosen and Behrens 119).
Well-developed—Every idea discussed in the paragraph should be adequately explained
and supported through evidence and details that work together to explain the paragraph’s
controlling idea (Rosen and Behrens 119).
How do I organize a paragraph?
There are many different ways to organize a paragraph. The organization you choose will
depend on the controlling idea of the paragraph. Below are a few possibilities for organization,
with brief examples.
Narration: Tell a story. Go chronologically, from start to finish. (See an example.)
Description: Provide specific details about what something looks, smells, tastes,
sounds, or feels like. Organize spatially, in order of appearance, or by topic. (See an
example.)
Process: Explain how something works, step by step. Perhaps follow a sequence—first,
second, third. (See an example.)
Classification: Separate into groups or explain the various parts of a topic. (See an
example.)
Illustration: Give examples and explain how those examples prove your point. (See
the detailed example in the next section of this handout.)
5-step process to paragraph development
Let’s walk through a 5-step process to building a paragraph. Each step of the process will
include an explanation of the step and a bit of “model” text to illustrate how the step works.
Our finished model paragraph will be about slave spirituals, the original songs that African
Americans created during slavery. The model paragraph uses illustration (giving examples) to
prove its point.
Step 1. Decide on a controlling idea and create a topic sentence
Paragraph development begins with the formulation of the controlling idea. This idea directs the
paragraph’s development. Often, the controlling idea of a paragraph will appear in the form of a
topic sentence. In some cases, you may need more than one sentence to express a paragraph’s
controlling idea. Here is the controlling idea for our “model paragraph,” expressed in a topic
sentence:

Model controlling idea and topic sentence— Slave spirituals often had hidden double
meanings.
Step 2. Explain the controlling idea
Paragraph development continues with an expression of the rationale or the
explanation that the writer gives for how the reader should interpret the
information presented in the idea statement or topic sentence of the paragraph.
The writer explains his/her thinking about the main topic, idea, or focus of the
paragraph. Here’s the sentence that would follow the controlling idea about slave
spirituals:
Model explanation—On one level, spirituals referenced heaven, Jesus, and the soul; but on
another level, the songs spoke about slave resistance.
Step 3. Give an example (or multiple examples)
Paragraph development progresses with the expression of some type of support or
evidence for the idea and the explanation that came before it. The example serves
as a sign or representation of the relationship established in the idea and
explanation portions of the paragraph. Here are two examples that we could use to
illustrate the double meanings in slave spirituals:
Model example A— For example, according to Frederick Douglass, the song “O Canaan, Sweet
Canaan” spoke of slaves’ longing for heaven, but it also expressed their desire to escape to the
North. Careful listeners heard this second meaning in the following lyrics: “I don’t expect to
stay / Much longer here. / Run to Jesus, shun the danger. / I don’t expect to stay.”
Model example B— Slaves even used songs like “Steal Away to Jesus (at midnight)” to
announce to other slaves the time and place of secret, forbidden meetings.
Step 4. Explain the example(s)
The next movement in paragraph development is an explanation of each example and its
relevance to the topic sentence and rationale that were stated at the beginning of the
paragraph. This explanation shows readers why you chose to use this/or these particular
examples as evidence to support the major claim, or focus, in your paragraph.
Continue the pattern of giving examples and explaining them until all points/examples that the
writer deems necessary have been made and explained. NONE of your examples should be left
unexplained. You might be able to explain the relationship between the example and the topic
sentence in the same sentence which introduced the example. More often, however, you will
need to explain that relationship in a separate sentence. Look at these explanations for the two
examples in the slave spirituals paragraph:
Model explanation for example A— When slaves sang this song, they could have been
speaking of their departure from this life and their arrival in heaven; however, they also could

have been describing their plans to leave the South and run, not to Jesus, but to the North.
Model explanation for example B—[The relationship between example B and the main idea
of the paragraph's controlling idea is clear enough without adding another sentence to explain
it.]
Step 5. Complete the paragraph’s idea or transition into the next paragraph
The final movement in paragraph development involves tying up the loose ends of the
paragraph and reminding the reader of the relevance of the information in this paragraph to the
main or controlling idea of the paper. At this point, you can remind your reader about the
relevance of the information that you just discussed in the paragraph. You might feel more
comfortable, however, simply transitioning your reader to the next development in the next
paragraph. Here’s an example of a sentence that completes the slave spirituals paragraph:
Model sentence for completing a paragraph— What whites heard as merely spiritual songs,
slaves discerned as detailed messages. The hidden meanings in spirituals allowed slaves to sing
what they could not say.
Notice that the example and explanation steps of this 5-step process (steps 3 and 4)
can be repeated as needed. The idea is that you continue to use this pattern until you
have completely developed the main idea of the paragraph.
Here is a look at the completed “model” paragraph:
Slave spirituals often had hidden double meanings. On one level, spirituals referenced
heaven, Jesus, and the soul, but on another level, the songs spoke about slave resistance.
For example, according to Frederick Douglass, the song “O Canaan, Sweet Canaan” spoke
of slaves’ longing for heaven, but it also expressed their desire to escape to the North.
Careful listeners heard this second meaning in the following lyrics: “I don’t expect to stay /
Much longer here. / Run to Jesus, shun the danger. / I don’t expect to stay.” When slaves
sang this song, they could have been speaking of their departure from this life and their
arrival in heaven; however, they also could have been describing their plans to leave the
South and run, not to Jesus, but to the North. Slaves even used songs like “Steal Away to
Jesus (at midnight)” to announce to other slaves the time and place of secret, forbidden
meetings. What whites heard as merely spiritual songs, slaves discerned as detailed
messages. The hidden meanings in spirituals allowed slaves to sing what they could not
say.
Troubleshooting paragraphs
1) Problem: the paragraph has no topic sentence. Imagine each paragraph as a sandwich.
The real content of the sandwich—the meat or other filling—is in the middle. It includes all the
evidence you need to make the point. But it gets kind of messy to eat a sandwich without any
bread. Your readers don’t know what to do with all the evidence you’ve given them. So, the top

slice of bread (the first sentence of the paragraph) explains the topic (or controlling idea) of the
paragraph. And, the bottom slice (the last sentence of the paragraph) tells the reader how the
paragraph relates to the broader argument. In the original and revised paragraphs below,
notice how a topic sentence expressing the controlling idea tells the reader the point of all the
evidence.
Original paragraph
Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When
confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans
makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If
the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.
Revised paragraph
Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part,
entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic
plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their
fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten
by piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.
Once you have mastered the use of topic sentences, you may decide that the topic sentence for
a particular paragraph really shouldn’t be the first sentence of the paragraph. This is fine—the
topic sentence can actually go at the beginning, middle, or end of a paragraph; what’s
important is that it is in there somewhere so that readers know what the main idea of the
paragraph is and how it relates back to the thesis of your paper. Suppose that we wanted to
start the piranha paragraph with a transition sentence—something that reminds the reader of
what happened in the previous paragraph—rather than with the topic sentence. Let’s suppose
that the previous paragraph was about all kinds of animals that people are afraid of, like
sharks, snakes, and spiders. Our paragraph might look like this (the topic sentence is
underlined):
Like sharks, snakes, and spiders, pirahnas are widely feared. Although most people consider
piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely
feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans,
piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more
piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they
won’t bite humans.
2) Problem: the paragraph has more than one controlling idea. If a paragraph has more
than one main idea, consider eliminating sentences that relate to the second idea, or split the
paragraph into two or more paragraphs, each with only one main idea. In the following
paragraph, the final two sentences branch off into a different topic; so, the revised paragraph
eliminates them and concludes with a sentence that reminds the reader of the paragraph’s main
idea.

Original paragraph
Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part,
entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic
plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their
fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten
by piranhas. A number of South American groups eat piranhas. They fry or grill the fish and
then serve them with coconut milk or tucupi, a sauce made from fermented manioc juices.
Revised paragraph
Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part,
entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic
plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their
fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten
by piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.
3) Problem: transitions are needed within the paragraph. You are probably familiar with
the idea that transitions may be needed between paragraphs or sections in a paper (see our
handout on this subject). Sometimes they are also helpful within the body of a single
paragraph. Within a paragraph, transitions are often single words or short phrases that help to
establish relationships between ideas and to create a logical progression of those ideas in a
paragraph. This is especially likely to be true within paragraphs that discuss multiple examples.
Let’s take a look at a version of our piranha paragraph that uses transitions to orient the
reader:
Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, except in two main
situations, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and
aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ instinct is to flee, not attack. But there
are two situations in which a piranha bite is likely. The first is when a frightened piranha is lifted
out of the water—for example, if it has been caught in a fishing net. The second is when the
water level in pools where piranhas are living falls too low. A large number of fish may be
trapped in a single pool, and if they are hungry, they may attack anything that enters the
water.
In this example, you can see how the phrases “the first” and “the second” help the reader
follow the organization of the ideas in the paragraph.
Works consulted
Lunsford, Andrea and Robert Collins. The St. Martin’s Handbook, Annotated Instructor’s Edition.
5th Ed. New York: St. Martin’s, 2003.
Rosen, Leonard and Laurence Behrens. The Allyn and Bacon Handbook, Annotated Instructor’s
Edition. 4th Ed. Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 2000.


Procrastination
The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair.
—Mary Heaton Vorse
This handout will help you understand why you procrastinate and offer strategies and to combat
this common writer’s ailment.
Introduction
Everyone procrastinates. We put things off because we don’t want to do them, or because we
have too many other things on our plates. Putting things off—big or small—is part of being
human. If you are reading this handout, however, it is likely that your procrastination is
troubling you. You suspect that you could be a much better writer if only you didn’t put off
writing projects until the last minute. You find that just when you have really gotten going on a
paper, it’s time to turn it in; so, you never really have time to revise or proofread carefully. You
love the rush of adrenalin you get when you finish a paper ten minutes before it’s due, but you
(and your body) are getting tired of pulling all-nighters. You feel okay about procrastinating
while in college, but you worry that this habit will follow you into your working life.
You can tell whether or not you need to do something about your procrastination by examining
its consequences. Procrastination can have external consequences (you get a zero on the paper
because you never turned it in) or internal consequences (you feel anxious much of the time,
even when you are doing something that you enjoy). If you put off washing the dishes, but the
dishes don’t bother you, who cares? When your procrastination leaves you feeling discouraged
and overburdened, however, it is time to take action.
Is there hope?
If you think you are a hopeless procrastinator, take heart! No one is beyond help. The fact that
you procrastinate does not mean that you are inherently lazy or inefficient. Your procrastination
is not an untamable beast. It is a habit that has some specific origin, and it is a habit that you
can overcome. This handout will help you begin to understand why you procrastinate and give
you some strategies for turning things around. For most procrastinators, however, there are no
quick fixes. You aren’t going to wake up tomorrow and never procrastinate again. But you
might wake up tomorrow and do one or two simple things that will help you finish that draft a
little earlier or with less stress.

You may not be surprised to learn that procrastinators tend to be self-critical. So, as you
consider your procrastination and struggle to develop different work habits, try to be gentle
with yourself. Punishing yourself every time you realize you have put something off won’t help
you change. Rewarding yourself when you make progress will.
If you don’t care why you procrastinate—you just want to know what to do about it—then you
might as well skip the next section of this handout and go right to the section labeled “What to
do about it.” If you skip to the strategies, however, you may only end up more frustrated.
Taking the time to learn about why you procrastinate may help you avoid the cycle whereby
you swear up and down that you will never procrastinate again, only to find that the next time
you have a paper due, you are up until 3 a.m. trying to complete the first (and only) draft—
without knowing why or how you got there.
Why we do it
In order to stop putting off your writing assignments, it is important to understand why you
tend to do so in the first place. Some of the reasons that people procrastinate include the
following:
Because we are afraid.
Fear of failure: If you are scared that a particular piece of writing isn’t going to turn out
well, then you may avoid working on it in order to avoid feeling the fear.
Fear of success: Some procrastinators (the author of this handout included) fear that if
they start working at their full capacity, they will turn into workaholics. Since we
procrastinate compulsively, we assume that we will also write compulsively; we envision
ourselves locked in a library carrel, hunched over the computer, barely eating and sleeping
and never seeing friends or going out. The procrastinator who fears success may also
assume that if they work too hard, they will become mean and cold to the people around
them, thus losing their capacity to be friendly and to have fun. Finally, this type of
procrastinator may think that if they stop procrastinating, then they will start writing better,
which will increase other people’s expectations, thus ultimately increasing the amount of
pressure they experience.
Fear of losing autonomy: Some people delay writing projects as a way of maintaining their
independence. When they receive a writing assignment, they procrastinate as a way of
saying, “You can’t make me do this. I am my own person.” Procrastinating helps them feel
more in control of situations (such as college) in which they believe that other people have
authority.
Fear of being alone: Other writers procrastinate because they want to feel constantly
connected to other people. For instance, you may procrastinate until you are in such a bind
that someone has to come and rescue you. Procrastination therefore ensures that other
people will be involved in your life. You may also put off writing because you don’t want to
be alone, and writing is oftentimes a solitary activity. In its worst form, procrastination
itself can become a companion, constantly reminding you of all that you have to do.

 Fear of attachment: Rather than fearing separation, some people procrastinate in order to
create a barrier between themselves and others. They may delay in order to create chaos
in their lives, believing that the chaos will keep other people away.
Whether these fears appear in our conscious or subconscious minds, they paralyze us and keep
us from taking action, until discomfort and anxiety overwhelms us and forces us to either a) get
the piece of writing done or b) give up. (The preceding is a summary of Chapters 2-4 of Jane B.
Burka and Lenora M. Yuen’s Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It. Reading, MA:
Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, 1983.)
Because we expect ourselves to be perfect.
Procrastination and perfectionism often go hand in hand. Perfectionists tend to procrastinate
because they expect so much of themselves, and they are scared about whether or not they
can meet those high standards. Perfectionists sometimes think that it is better to give a half-
hearted effort and maintain the belief that they could have written a great paper, than to give a
full effort and risk writing a mediocre paper. Procrastinating guarantees failure, but it helps
perfectionists maintain their belief that they could have excelled if they had tried harder.
Another pitfall for perfectionists is that they tend to ignore progress toward a goal. As long as
the writing project is incomplete, they feel as though they aren’t getting anywhere, rather than
recognizing that each paragraph moves them closer to a finished product.
Because we don’t like our writing.
You may procrastinate on writing because you don’t like to re-read what you have written; you
hate writing a first draft and then being forced to evaluate it, in all its imperfection. By
procrastinating, you ensure that you don’t have time to read over your work, thus avoiding that
uncomfortable moment.
Because we’re too busy.
Practical concerns: jobs, other classes, etc.
Because it works.
Unfortunately, procrastination helps reinforce itself. When we avoid doing something we dread
(like writing) by doing something we enjoy (such as watching TV, hanging out with friends,
etc.), we escape the dreaded task. Given such a choice, it’s no wonder that many of us choose
to procrastinate. When we write a paper at the last minute and still manage to get a good
grade, we feel all the more compelled to procrastinate next time around.
What to do about it
Now that you know a little bit about why you may have procrastinated in the past, let’s explore
some of the strategies you might use to combat your procrastination tendencies, now and in
the future. Experiment with whichever of these strategies appeals to you; if you try something
 
and it doesn’t work, try something else! Be patient; improvement will come with practice.
Take an inventory.
Figuring out exactly when and how you procrastinate can help you stop the behavior. It can be
difficult to tell when you are procrastinating. Think about the clues that tell you that’s what
you’re doing: for example, a nagging voice in your head, a visual image of what you are
avoiding or the consequences of not doing it, physical ailments (stomach tightness, headaches,
muscle tension), inability to concentrate, inability to enjoy what you are doing.
How do you procrastinate?
Try to ignore the task, hoping against hope that it will go away?
Over- or under-estimate the degree of difficulty that the task involves?
Minimize the impact that your performance now may have on your future?
Substitute something important for something really important? (For example, cleaning
instead of writing your paper.)
Let a short break become a long one, or an evening in which you do no work at all? (For
example, claiming that you are going to watch TV for ½ hour, then watching it all night.)
Focus on one part of the task, at the expense of the rest? (For example, keep working on
the introduction, while putting off writing the body and conclusion).
Spend too much time researching or choosing a topic
Once you better understand how you procrastinate, you will be better able to catch yourself
doing it. Too often, we don’t even realize that we are procrastinating—until it’s too late.
Create a productive environment.
If you have made the decision to stop delaying on a particular writing project, it is critical that
you find a place to work where you have at least half a chance of actually getting some writing
done. Your dorm room may not be the place where you are most productive. Ditto the
computer lab. If you have a laptop computer, try going someplace where you can’t connect to
the Internet (e-mail and the Web are the bane of the procrastinator’s existence—as you
probably already know). If you are a procrastinator, then chances are you are already pretty
exasperated; don’t risk frustrating yourself even more by trying to write in an environment that
doesn’t meet your needs.
[CAUTION: The most skilled procrastinators will be tempted to take this suggestion too far,
spending an inordinate amount of time "creating a productive environment" (cleaning, filing,
etc.) and not nearly enough time actually writing. Don't fall into that trap! While cleaning and
filing are indeed worthy and necessary activities, if you only do this when you have an
approaching writing deadline, then you are procrastinating.]
While you are thinking about where to write, consider also when you will write. When are you
most alert? Is it at 8 a.m., mid-morning, mid-afternoon, early evening, or late at night? Try to
schedule writing time when you know you will be at your best. Don’t worry about when you
“should” be able to write; just focus on when you are able to write.
Challenge your myths.
In order to break the procrastination habit, we need to get past the idea that in order to write,
we must have all the information pertaining to the topic, and we must have optimal writing
conditions. In reality, writers never have all the information, and conditions are never optimal.
Think of a writing project that you are currently putting off. On one side of a piece of paper,
write down all the reasons for your delay. On the other side, argue (as convincingly as
possible!) against the delay.
Myth #1: “I can’t function in a messy environment. I can’t possibly write this paper until I
have cleaned my apartment.”
Challenge: There are no conditions that are necessary in order for you to write, save two: 1)
You must have a writing implement (e.g., a keyboard or a pen) and 2) you must have
someplace for writing to go, such as into a computer or onto a piece of paper. If, when faced
with a writing project, you start piling up prerequisites for all the things you must do before you
can possibly start writing, consider whether you might in fact be making excuses—in other
words, procrastinating.
Myth #2: “I know it’s time for me to start writing, but I just haven’t done enough research yet.
I’ll spend one more night at the library, and then I’ll start writing my paper.”
Challenge: Truth be told, you will never collect all the information you possibly could for your
paper. Better to write a tightly-crafted argument with the information you have NOW, AT THIS
VERY MOMENT, than to keep doing research and risk throwing your paper together at the last
minute.
Myth #3: “I do my best work under pressure.”
Challenge: There are lots of other ways to create pressure for yourself, besides waiting until
the night before the paper is due to start writing it. You can set a time limit for yourself—for
example, “I will write this paragraph in ½ hour”—or you can pretend that the paper is a timed
essay exam. If you do this a week or two before the paper is due, you’ll have a draft in plenty
of time to revise and edit it.
Myth #4: “In order to work on my paper, I must have six uninterrupted hours.”
Challenge: You can and should work on a paper in one hour blocks (or shorter). This will help
you break the writing task down into smaller pieces, thereby making it seem more manageable.
If you know that you can work on one part of the paper for one hour, then it won’t seem so
daunting, and you will be less likely to procrastinate.
Some writers find, however, that they do need longer blocks of time in order to really produce
anything. Therefore, like all of the strategies outlined here, if this one doesn’t work for you,

throw it out and try something else. You might still find, however, that you are more productive
when you plan to write “all morning” rather than “all day.”
Myth #5: “What I write has to be perfect, ” AND/OR “I can’t write anything until I have a
perfect thesis statement/intro.”
Challenge: A first draft (or a second, or a third, or even—egad!—the final product) does not
have to be perfect. When we write an early draft, we need to turn off our internal critic and just
get some words down on the page. The great thing about starting early on a writing project is
that it leaves us plenty of time for revision, editing, and proofreading; so, we can set ourselves
free to just let our writing flow, without worrying about sentence-level concerns such as
grammar, punctuation, and style. You’ll find some other thoughts on editing in our handouts on
proofreading and revision.
Break it down.
The day you get the paper assignment (ideally), or shortly thereafter, break the writing
assignment up into the smallest possible chunks. By doing this, the paper never has a chance
to take on gargantuan proportions in your mind. You can say to yourself, “Right now, I’m going
to write the introduction. That’s all, just the introduction!” And you may be more likely to sit
down and do that, than you will to sit down and “write the paper.”
Get a new attitude.
We shoot ourselves in the foot, to begin with, by telling ourselves how horrible a particular
writing assignment is. Changing our attitude toward the task, when possible, may go a long
way toward keeping us from procrastinating. Tell yourself that the task isn’t so bad or difficult,
that you either know how to do it, or that you can learn how while you’re doing it. You may
find, too, that if you start early on a particular assignment, your attitude never has a chance to
get very negative in the first place! Simply starting to write can often help us feel more positive
about writing.
Ask for help.
Get an anti-procrastination coach. If you are really determined not to procrastinate, then
get help from the supportive people in your life. Tell someone about your writing goal and
timeline, and ask them to help you determine whether or not your plan is realistic. Once or
twice a week, email with a friend, relative, or mentor, in order to report (admit?) on your
progress, and declare your promise for the next week (or few days). If, despite your very
good intentions, you start procrastinating again, do not think, “All is lost!” Instead, talk to
someone about it. They may be able to help you put your slip into perspective and get back
on track.
Get a buddy. See if you can find a friend to work alongside you. They don’t have to be
writing a paper; in fact, they can be playing Solitaire, for all you care. What matters is that
you arrange to meet them at the library (or wherever you have decided to write) at a
particular time and stay there for a specific period of time, thus creating accountability.

 Get help with your writing. If you are procrastinating because you think you are a weak
writer, then ask someone (a Writing Center tutor, a current or former professor or teaching
assistant, a friend) to help you improve.
Form a writing group. A writing group is a great way for undergraduate and more advanced
writers alike to create accountability, get feedback, and simply get reminded that you are
not alone in the struggle to produce and to improve your writing. See our writing group
packet at for more information on how to form and sustain a writing group. Dissertation
writers may benefit not only from joining a writing group but also from reading our handout
on the dissertation. This handout was written by a former Writing Center staff member who
eventually completed her dissertation.
Get unblocked.
Sometimes, we procrastinate because we feel stuck on a particular essay or section of an
essay. If this happens, you have several options:
Turn off the screen. Type with a dark screen, so you can’t see what you’ve written, decide
you don’t like it, and delete it immediately. Sometimes procrastination stems from
insecurity about what to say, or whether we have anything to say. The important thing, in
that case, is to get started and KEEP GOING. Turning off the screen may help lessen your
fear and turn off your internal critic. When you turn it back on (or print out what you’ve
written), you may find that you do have something to say, after all.
Write about writing. Take 15 minutes and write a letter to yourself about why you don’t
want to write this. This lets you vent your frustrations and anxieties. Then, Take 15
minutes and write about what you could do to get unstuck. You can also try writing about
what you’re going to write, making an initial assessment of the assignment. You won’t have
the pressure of writing an actually draft, but you will be able to get something down on
paper.
Write the easiest part first. You don’t have to start at the beginning. Whatever section you
can do, do it! If you think that’s wimpy, and you would rather do the hardest part first so
that you can get it out of the way, that’s fine—whatever works for you. If you start writing
and you get stuck, write about why you’re stuck.
Talk it out. Try tape-recording yourself speaking the ideas you want to include in the paper,
and then transcribe the tape.
Make yourself accountable.
Set a writing deadline (other than the paper’s due date) for yourself by making an appointment
at the Writing Center or telling your TA (or a former TA) that you’re going to give them a draft
on such-and-such a date. If you make your Writing Center appointment for several days before
the paper is due, then you may be motivated to have a draft finished, in order to make the
appointment worthwhile.
Leave your work out.

Keeping your work (books, notes, articles, etc.) physically out, in full view, gives you a
reminder that you are in the middle of the paper, or that you need to start. Also, if you write in
more than one shift, it can be helpful to leave off in the middle of a paragraph and leave your
‘tools’ where they are. When you return to the paper, you’ll be able to “warm up” by finishing
that paragraph. Starting a new section cold may be more difficult.
Work on improving your writing when you don’t have a deadline.
Investigate your writing process. First of all, you may not think you have a thing called a
“writing process.” But you do—everyone does. Describe your writing process in detail.
Ask yourself:
When do I usually start on a paper?
What tools do I need (or think I need) in order to write?
Where do I write?
Do I like quiet or noise when I write?
How long a block of time do I need?
What do I do before I start?
What do I do at the end?
How do I feel at the end (after I have turned it in)?
Then ask yourself:
What do I like about my writing process?
What do I want to change?
Once you can see your writing process, then you can make a decision to change it. But take it
easy with this—only work on one part at a time. Otherwise, you’ll get overwhelmed and
frustrated—and we all know where that leads, straight down the procrastination road.
Evaluate your writing’s strengths and weaknesses.
If you aren’t ready to evaluate your writing process completely (and it’s okay if you aren’t),
then you could try just listing your strengths and weaknesses as a writer. For instance, perhaps
you are great at creating thesis statements, but you have trouble developing arguments. Or,
your papers are very well-organized, but your thesis and argument tend to fall a little flat.
Identifying these issues will help you do two things: 1) When you write, you can play to your
strength; and 2) You can choose one weakness and do something about it when you DON’T
have a deadline.
Now, doing anything when you don’t have a deadline may sound strange to a procrastinator,
but bear with me. Let’s say you’ve decided that your writing is too wordy, and you want to work
on being more concise. So, some time when you don’t have a paper—but you do have a free
hour—you waltz into the Writing Center and tell your tutor, “Hey, I want learn how to write
more clearly.” You confer, and you come away with some simple strategies for eliminating

wordiness.
Here is why this may make a difference the next time you write a paper, regardless of whether
or not you have procrastinated (again!): You print out your draft. It’s 1 a.m. You go to bed. The
next morning, you read over your paper (it’s due at noon). You say to yourself, “Hmmm, I
notice I’m being too wordy.” BUT, rather than concluding, “Oh, well, it’s too late, there isn’t
anything I can do about that,” (as you may have in the past), you can choose to employ some
of what you learned (previously, when you weren’t under the gun) to make your writing more
concise. You edit the paper accordingly. You turn it in.
When your instructor hands the papers back the following week, there are far fewer instances
of “awkward,” “unclear,” etc. in the margins. Voila! You’ve made a positive change in your
writing process!
What does this have to do with procrastination? Well, making one small change in your writing
process creates momentum. You begin to feel more positive about your writing. You begin to be
less intimidated by writing assignments. And—eventually—you start them earlier, because they
just aren’t as big a deal as they used to be.
Evaluating the strengths and weaknesses in your writing gives you a sense of control. Your
writing problems are solvable problems. Working on your writing when you don’t have a
deadline helps you gain insight and momentum. Soon, writing becomes something that, while
you may not look forward to it, you don’t dread quite as much. Thus, you don’t procrastinate
quite as much.
This strategy also accounts for the fact that if you perceive procrastination as having been
successful for you in the past, you aren’t going to give it up right away
Hone your proofreading and editing skills.
If you procrastinate on writing because you don’t like to re-read what you have written, the
good news is this: you can learn specific proofreading, revising, and editing strategies. If you
finish your paper ahead of time, and you re-read it, and you don’t like it, you have options.
Writing a first draft that you don’t like doesn’t mean you’re a terrible writer. Many writers—in
fact, I would venture to say most—hate their first drafts. Neither Leo Tolstoy nor Toni Morrison
produce(d) brilliant prose the first time around. In fact, Morrison (a big fan of revision) said
recently, “You don’t have to love it just because you wrote it!” If you practice some revision and
editing strategies, you may feel more comfortable with the idea of re-reading your papers.
You’ll know that if you find weaknesses in the draft (and you will), you can do something to
improve those areas.
Learn how to tell time.
One of the best ways to combat procrastination is to develop a more realistic understanding of
time. Procrastinators’ views of time tend to be fairly unrealistic. “This paper is only going to
take me about five hours to write,” you think. “Therefore, I don’t need to start on it until the

night before.” What you may be forgetting, however, is that our time is often filled with more
activities than we realize. On the night in question, for instance, let’s say you go to the gym at
4:45 p.m. You work out (1 hour), take a shower and dress (30 minutes), eat dinner (45
minutes), and go to a sorority meeting (1 hour). By the time you get back to your dorm room
to begin work on the paper, it is already 8:00 p.m. But now you need to check your email and
return a couple of phone calls. It’s 8:30 p.m. before you finally sit down to write the paper. If
the paper does indeed take five hours to write, you will be up until 1:30 in the morning—and
that doesn’t include the time that you will inevitably spend watching TV.
And, as it turns out, it takes about five hours to write a first draft of the essay. You have
forgotten to allow time for revision, editing, and proofreading. You get the paper done and turn
it in the next morning. But you know it isn’t your best work, and you are pretty tired from the
late night, and so you make yourself a promise: “Next time, I’ll start early!”
Make an unschedule.
The next time you have a writing deadline, try using an un-schedule to outline a realistic plan
for when you will write. An un-schedule is a weekly calendar of all the ways in which your time
is already accounted for. When you make an un-schedule, you consider not only your timed
commitments such as classes and meetings, but also your untimed activities such as meals,
exercise, errands, laundry, time with friends and family, and the like. It is not a list of what you
should do in a given week; rather it is an outline of the time that you will necessarily spend
doing other things besides writing.
Once you have made your un-schedule, take a look at the blank spaces. These represent the
maximum number of hours that you could potentially spend writing. By starting with these
blank spaces as a guide, you will be able to more accurately predict how much time you will be
able to write on any given day. You may be able to see, for instance, that you really don’t have
five hours to spend writing on the night before the paper is due. By planning accordingly, you
will not only get a better night’s sleep, you may also end up with a better paper!
The un-schedule might also be a good way to get started on a larger writing project, such as a
term paper or an honors thesis. You may think that you have “all semester” to get the writing
done, but if you really sit down and map out how much time you have available to write on a
daily and weekly basis, you will see that you need to get started sooner, rather than later. In
addition, the unschedule may reveal especially busy weeks or months, which will help you
budget time for long-term projects.
Perhaps most importantly, the un-schedule can help you examine how you spend your time.
You may be surprised at how much (or how little) time you spend watching television, and
decide to make a change. It’s especially important that you build time for fun activities into
your un-schedule. Otherwise, you will procrastinate in order to steal time for relaxation.
You can also use the un-schedule to record your progress towards your goal. Each time you
work on your paper, for example, mark it on the un-schedule. One of the most important things

you can do to kick the procrastination habit is to reward yourself when you write something,
even if (especially if) that writing is only a little piece of the whole. Seeing your success on
paper will help reinforce the productive behavior, and you will feel more motivated to write later
in the day or week.
Reading Aloud
Set a time limit.

Okay, so maybe one of the reasons you procrastinate on writing projects is that you just plain
hate writing! You would rather be at the dentist than sitting in front of your computer with a
blank Microsoft Word document staring you in the face. In that case, it may be helpful to set
limits on how much time you will spend writing before you do something else. While the
notation “Must work on Hemingway essay all weekend” may not inspire you to sit down and
write, “Worked on Hemingway essay for ½ hour” just might. Or, if you tell yourself that you will
write “all weekend,” for instance, the sheer agony of the thought may keep you from doing any
writing at all. If, however, you say that you will write for two hours on Saturday afternoon, you
may actually accomplish something. The important thing here is to keep your commitment to
yourself. Even if, at the end of the two hours, you think you could keep going, stop. Go outside
and enjoy the weather. Your procrastinating self needs to be able to trust your new non-
procrastinating self the next time you say you will only write for a certain amount of time. If
you go overboard this time, then the next time you say, “I’ll write for two hours and then stop,”
the procrastinator within will respond, “Yeah, right! I’m going rollerblading!”
This handout explains some of the benefits of hearing your writing read aloud. It offers tips on
reading your draft yourself, asking a friend to read it to you, or having your computer read it.
Why read out loud?
If you come to the Writing Center for a tutoring session, you will probably hear your tutor say,
“We always read papers out loud—would you like to read yours, or would you like to hear me
read it?” Reading aloud has many benefits that we want to share with writers. Most people have
far more experience listening to and speaking English than they do reading and editing it on the
printed page. When you read your draft out loud or listen to someone else read it, your brain
gets the information in a new way, and you may notice things that you didn’t see before:

On the other hand, it may work better for you to trick yourself into working on your paper by
telling yourself you’re only going to write for two hours, but then continuing to work if you’re
feeling inspired. Experiment with both approaches and see which one seems to work best for
you.
Be realistic about how long it takes you to write.
Procrastinators tend to be heroic about time; they estimate that it will take them two hours to
complete a task that would take most people four. Once you have determined that
procrastination is hurting your writing, begin taking notice of how long it actually takes you to
write. Many students have a “page an hour” rule. Perhaps you can write a page in an hour if
you are totally rested, fed, and focused, your roommate isn’t home, and the wind is blowing
just right. But what if the phone rings, what if you are tired, and what if you have to go to the
bathroom? When you estimate how long it will take you to write something, expect that there
will be interruptions along the way.
Parting thoughts
As you explore why you procrastinate and experiment with strategies for working differently,
don’t expect overnight transformation. You developed the procrastination habit over a long
period of time; you aren’t going to stop magically. But you can change the behavior, bit by bit.
If you stop punishing yourself when you procrastinate and start rewarding yourself for your
small successes, you will eventually develop new writing habits. And you will get a lot more
As listeners, we need the order of ideas in a paper to make sense. We can’t flip back and
forth from page to page to try to figure out what is going on or find information we need.
When you hear your paper read out loud, you may recognize that you need to re-order the
information in it or realize that there are gaps in your explanation.
Listeners also need transitions to help us get from one main idea to the next. When you
hear your paper, you may recognize places where you have moved from one topic to
another too abruptly.
We all make errors in our sentences. Sometimes we leave out a word, mess things up as
we copy and paste text, or make a grammatical mistake. These kinds of errors can be hard
to see on the page, but sentences that contain them are very likely to sound wrong. For
native speakers of English (and some non-native speakers, too), reading out loud is one of
the most powerful proofreading techniques around.
Sometimes sentences aren’t grammatically incorrect, but they are still awkward in some
way—too long, too convoluted, too repetitive. Problems like these are often easily heard.
Hearing your paper can also help you get a sense of whether the tone is right. Does it
sound too formal? Too chatty or casual? What kind of impression will your voice in this
paper make on a reader? Sometimes hearing your words helps you get a more objective
sense of the impression you are creating—listening puts in you in something more like the
position your reader will be in as he/she moves through your text.
What are some strategies for reading out loud?

 
Reading your paper out loud has a lot of benefits, but it presents a few challenges, too. One
issue is that a lot depends on how you read. It is very easy to read too quickly or to let your
brain automatically “smooth over” mistakes, fill in missing words, and make little corrections
without you ever becoming consciously aware that it’s happening. If you don’t read exactly
what is on the printed page, you won’t get an accurate sense of what is in your paper. Here are
some strategies to help you read out loud effectively:
Try working from a printed copy. This will allow you to make marks at places where
something sounds wrong to you so you can return to them later.
Try working from a printed copy. This will allow you to make marks at places where
something sounds wrong to you so you can return to them later.
As you read, follow along with your finger, pointing at each word. This can help you stay
focused and not skip anything.
Try to read at a moderate pace.
If you are proofreading, consider reading your paper out loud one sentence at a time,
starting at the end and working back to the beginning. This will help you focus on the
structure of each sentence, rather than on the overall flow of your argument.
Try covering up everything but the section or sentence you are working on at the moment
so you can concentrate on it and not get lost.
One great strategy to try is to ask a friend to read your paper out loud while you listen. Make
sure that your friend knows to read exactly what is on the printed page. Pay close attention to
places where your friend seems to stumble or get lost—those may be places where you need to
make things clearer for your readers. As your friend is speaking, you can jot notes on a printed
copy of the paper. You don’t have to be in the same room to do this—you could email a copy of
your paper to your friend and ask him/her to call you and read to you over the phone.
How can your computer help?
You don’t necessarily need to recruit a friend to read to you. There are a number of text to
speech software applications and web-based services that will help you get your computer to
read your paper out loud to you. One advantage of this approach is that the computer will
definitely not cover up any errors for you! You can also control where it starts and stops, speed
it up or slow it down, and have it re-read the same paragraph as many times as you want.
There are many text-to-speech programs and services you can try—far more than we can
review here. Some are free; others may have a free trial version but cost between $10 and $80
for long-term use, or for versions with more features. Here are a few free ones that seem to be
easily available, user friendly, and potentially effective. If you would like to explore others that
may be available now or created in the future, do a Google search for “text to speech,” “TTS,”
or “text reader.”
Some differences to keep in mind as you choose the best reader for you:
Voice quality and selection: how many voices can you choose from, and how natural do
 
they sound?
Controls: can you determine the speed and pitch of the speaker, where the reading starts
and stops, etc.? Is there a pause button?
Can you convert your text file into an mp3 or wav file, download it, and listen to it on your
music player?
Does the software highlight each word as it is read (which may be especially helpful for
non-native English speakers and students with reading/writing disabilities)?
How many pages of text or words can be converted to voice at one?
How quickly does the conversion happen?
Do you need to copy text and paste it into a new window, or can the program work directly
within an application (like Word or Powerpoint) and just read the text on your screen?
Do you have to install any files on your computer to use the system? If so, how big are the
files?
Do you need an active internet connection to use the program, or can you run it without
internet access once it has been installed?
Does it work with your operating system (e.g., Mac, or Windows Vista)?
Software
You can download and install software applications that will allow your computer to read to you.
In most cases, the free versions of these applications use electronic voices created by Microsoft,
nicknamed “Sam,” “Mike,” and “Mary.” These voices are acceptable to most readers but are not
very natural-sounding. If you decide you would like better voices, you may need to purchase an
enhanced version of the software and AT&T’s Natural Voices, which sound better. The
applications we’ll list here are fairly easy to download (from the web address provided with each
one), install, and run. If you try one and later decide that you want to uninstall it from your
Windows computer, go to the Control Panel and choose “Add or Remove Programs.”
Read Please: www.readplease.com. This application, which has been around for a while, is for
Windows operating systems only; it may take some extra work to make it run with Vista. There
is a free version; the enhanced one costs $49.95. Read Please allows you to copy text from a
Word document, paste it into a window, and hear it read back to you—it highlights each word
as it is read. You can change the speed of the voice that is reading. Read Please does not make
mp3 or wav files. Use the Tools/Options menu to adjust settings, like whether it begins to read
as soon as text is copied or waits for you to hit “play.” Most of the controls (play, pause, speed,
voice selection, etc.) are visible in the Read Please window where you paste the text.
Natural Reader: www.naturalreaders.com. You can use the free version of Natural Reader 9.0,
or you can purchase the enhanced “Personal” one for $49.50. Natural Reader can convert text
from any program. One thing that makes Natural Reader stand out is that Mac versions of both
the free and enhanced software are available. Natural Reader does allow you to create wav and
mp3 files. It offers a “mini-bar” that looks like the controls on a tape recorder—this can hover
over text (say, a Word document), allowing you to easily start, stop, and control the
application.
Web-based applications
Web-based text to speech applications allow you to hear your text read without having to install
any software on your computer. You will need an active internet connection to have your text
translated into speech—but you may then be able to download a wav or mp3 file and listen to
your paper on your mp3 player or computer.
iSpeech: www.ispeech.org. The iSpeech website offers a demonstration of its text to voice
conversion; if you try it and like it, click “personal use” and create a free account. Now you will
be able to upload files or paste your text into a box on the iSpeech site. When your chosen text
has been converted to speech, just press “listen.” You can download the speech file or podcast
it. The voice iSpeech uses is fairly natural; unfortunately, you cannot choose from a variety of
voices, control the speed at which the voice reads while it is playing, or stop and start the
voice. iSpeech may have trouble uploading open files, so be sure to close your file first if you
want to upload everything. iSpeech does not highlight text as it reads, so if that’s important to
you, this is not a good reader for you. If you download the sound file, you can open it with a
media player. iSpeech works for PDF, text, html, Excel, Word, rtf, and even Powerpoint files.
Conversion is often fairly quick, and your uploads are archived with your account.
Yakitome www.yakitome.com. On this website, click on “Free Text to Speech” to create an
account. Experiment with the different voices (the AT&T ones sound more natural than the
Microsoft ones), choose your settings, and paste in your text. Your request will then be put in a
work queue; it may take quite some time for it to be converted (it took 15 minutes for a four-
page paper in one of our tests), so it’s best if you have something else to work on while you
wait. Longer documents seem to linger at the bottom of the work queue. Once the conversion is
done, your text is stored on the site as an mp3 or wav file in the Yakitome Podcast Library and
can be downloaded (to listen to it on your computer or mp3 player). It is stored as private,
unless you set it as public, so you’ll need to sign into your account to access it. Yakitome’s
controls take a little getting used to, and its pronunciation is occasionally imperfect. Click “text”
under view if you want to look at your text onscreen while listening. Hover your cursor over
various controls to see how they work.
Vozme vozme.com. Vozme is a very straightforward site. Paste your text into a window;
Vozme will then create an mp3 and begin to read to you, in a male or female voice that isn’t
super-natural but isn’t awful, either. You can’t control the speed at which the voice reads, and
you can’t pause, stop, or start. Vozme also reads in some foreign languages, including Spanish.
You’ll need to feed it relatively small chunks of text, perhaps a couple of paragraphs at a time.
Vozme allows you to install a widget for Facebook or iGoogle so that you can access it easily.
I feel kind of silly doing this…
Reading aloud (or listening to your writing being read) takes some getting used to, but give it a
try. You may be surprised at how much it can speed up your revision process!

Reading to Write
This handout suggests reading, note-taking, and writing strategies for when you need to use
reading assignments or sources as the springboard for writing a paper.
Reading strategies
Read (or at least skim) all parts of the reading. Sometimes the cover, title, preface,
introduction, illustrations, appendices, epilogue, footnotes and “about the author” sections can
provide you with valuable information.
Identify the genre of the reading. What kind of a reading is it? (Journal article? Mass media?
Novel? Textbook?) Why was it written? Who does the author assume is going to read this work?
(Books about politics written for an audience of political scientists, for example, might be very
different from books about politics written for the general public, for historians, or for
sociologists.)
Consider the author. What do you know or what can you learn about this person? Why did he
or she write the book? What sources of information and/or methods did he or she use to gather
the information presented in the book?
Guess why your instructor assigned the reading. How does it fit in with other readings,
class discussions, major course themes, or the purpose of the class?
Get out a calendar and plan your reading. Get out a calendar and plan your reading. Plot
the number of days or hours that it may take you to complete the reading. Be realistic. It may
help to read one chapter of the reading and then revise your calendar—some readings take
longer than others of a similar length. Visit the Learning Center if you’d like to learn more about
scheduling your work or reading more quickly and effectively.
As you read, record your reactions and questions. Any reaction or question is valid, from
the specific (“What’s that word mean?”) to the general (“What’s her point?”). Write them down
now so that you’ll remember them later. These reactions and questions can serve as material
for class discussion, or they can be the jumping off point for brainstorming a paper.
Read with a friend. Find someone else who is reading the same book. Set reading goals
together and plan to share your reactions to sections of the reading before class, after class,
over e-mail, and so on.

Visit your instructor during office hours to discuss the reading. Your instructor will set Plan your research and think about citation. If the assignment requires library research,
aside hours when he or she will be available to meet with students. This is a great time to talk clarify a strategy for collecting and citing sources as you research and write. Be sure to cite any
about the reading, ask questions, share your reactions, and get to know your instructor. You quoted information or information that was not generated by your own analysis. Your instructor
can do this with a friend or in a small group as well. can answer all of your questions about this important step.

Think about what is missing in the reading. Issues, events or ideas that are missing, left Write a draft, preferably a few days before the paper is due. Instructors can usually tell
out, avoided, or not discussed/addressed in the book might be important. Thinking about these the difference between papers that have been carefully drafted and revised and papers that
omissions can give you a critical perspective on the reading by showing you what the author have been hurriedly written the night before they are due. Papers written the night before often
(consciously or unconsciously) doesn’t want to deal with. receive disappointing grades.

If you know you will have to answer a particular question in response to the reading,
read with that question in mind. Sometimes faculty will give you essay questions in
advance. As you read the text, refer back to those questions and think about your emerging
answers to them.
Writing strategies
Get feedback from at least one person, and preferably several people, before you
finalize your draft. When possible, give your readers a copy of the assignment, too. E-mail
can make this process easier. See the Writing Center handout on feedback.
Proofread your paper to catch errors before handing it in. Taking the time to spell-check
and proofread will make your paper easier to read and show your reader that you cared about
the assignment. The Writing Center handout on proofreading may help.

While reading
When you get your paper back

Write as you read. Record your reactions informally and briefly after you’ve read for a while.
When you’re done reading a section, write for five minutes to capture your personal thoughts,
reactions, and questions as you go along.
Keep your notes with your book. Tuck a few sheets of paper or a notepad inside the book to
record your ideas as you read.
Share your informal writing with a friend. Trade notes/questions/reactions to the book.
Write five-minute responses to one another about the reading. This can be done by e-mail.
Read all of your instructor’s comments. Assess your strengths and weaknesses in
completing this reading/writing assignment. Plan what adjustments you’ll make in the process
for the next reading/writing assignment you will undertake. It may help to save all of your old
papers so that you can refer back to them and look for patterns in your instructor’s comments.
You may also want to keep a small notebook for your own assessment—writing down that you
didn’t leave ample time for revision on one paper, for example, may help you remember to
schedule your time more effectively for the next paper.

Draw while you read. Drawing pictures, maps or diagrams of relationships or important
issues that you see emerging from the reading can help you understand them. Be willing to
revise or redraw the map as you read.

After you read

React to the whole reading. Take twenty minutes to record your reactions to the reading as
a whole. (Return to the reading strategies list to get you started if you need to.) Don’t be afraid
to guess, hypothesize, or follow a tangent.

Reread the writing assignment. The Writing Center has a useful handout on how to read
assignments that may help.

Get out a calendar and schedule the time you will need to write your paper. Working
backwards from the due date, plot a timeline for producing the paper. Include time for at least
one rough draft and one chance to receive feedback from others (a friend, your teaching
assistant, your professor, the Writing Center, etc.) before turning it in.

 
Reorganizing Drafts

This handout gives you strategies to help you rethink your draft’s organization.

Why reorganize?

Many students who come to the Writing Center wonder whether their draft “flows”—that is,
whether the ideas are connected in a logical order to make a compelling argument. If you’re
worried about flow, chances are you’re sensing some problems with your organizational
scheme. It’s time to reorganize!

Prerequisites

Two prerequisites will help you reorganize your draft. One is vital: a working thesis statement
to give you a focus for organizing. If you’re having trouble with this, see our thesis statement
handout. The other thing you might want to check before you begin is your paragraph
development. It will be easier to reorganize your ideas if they are all fully fleshed out.

Strategies

Here are five effective strategies you can use to reorganize: reverse outlining, talking it out,
sectioning, listing and narrowing your argument, and visualizing. Read through all of them
before you begin and decide which seems like the best fit for your current needs.

Strategy 1. Reverse outlining

Let’s say your paper is about Mark Twain’s novel, Huckleberry Finn. Your thesis is: “Through
its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find
the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave ‘civilized’ society
and go back to nature.” You feel uncertain whether your paper really follows through on the
thesis as promised.

Your paper may benefit from reverse outlining, to make sure it delivers on its promising thesis.
A “reverse” outline is one you make after you have written a draft. Your aim is to create an
outline of what you’ve already written, as opposed to the kind of outline that you make before
you begin to write. The reverse outline will help you evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of

 
 
You and your listener should keep track of the way you explain your paper. Written notes are
extremely helpful—you won’t be able to remember all the details of your conversation.
Compare the structure of the argument in the notes you or your listener take to the structure of
the draft you’ve written.
Another good strategy to try is recording your conversation using a tape recorder, digital voice
recorder, computer microphone, or iPod and microphone. This will allow you to talk without
worrying about taking notes. Later, you can review the conversation and make changes to your
draft.
Get your listener to ask questions
It is in your interest as a writer to receive constructive criticism so that your draft will become
stronger. You want your listener to say things like, “Would you mind explaining that point about
being both conservative and liberal again? I wasn’t sure I followed” or “What kind of economic
principle is government relief? Is it communist? Archaic?” or “I thought I knew where your
argument was going, and I wasn’t expecting you to bring up that issue.” Questions you can’t
answer may signal an unnecessary tangent or an area needing further development in the
draft. Questions you need to think about will probably make you realize that you need to
explain more in your paper. In short, you want to know that your listener fully understands
you; if he or she does not, chances are your readers won’t, either.
Strategy 3: Sectioning
Let’s say you’re working on a paper on euthanasia. Your thesis is: “Voluntary euthanasia for
terminally ill patients is justified on the grounds that it reflects humane values,
respects individual autonomy, avoids needless costs, and reduces suffering.”
Sectioning works particularly well for long papers where you will be contending with a number
of ideas and a complicated argument. It’s also useful if you are having difficulty deciding on the
goals of each paragraph.
Put paragraphs under section headings
Your argument has four main categories of support. Put each of your paragraphs into one of the
four categories: values, autonomy, costs, and reduction of suffering. If any paragraph (besides
the introduction or conclusion) fits into two categories or all three, you may need to look at our
paragraph development handout. Ideally, each paragraph should have just one central idea. If
some paragraphs don’t fit any category, then they probably don’t belong in the paper.
Re-examine each section
Assuming you have more than one paragraph under each section, try to distinguish between
them. For example, under “humane values,” you might have listed an argument in favor of
euthanasia, a counterargument, and a reply to the counterargument that strengthens your
position. Or perhaps you have two separate arguments under “humane values” that can be
 
distinguished from each other by author, logic, ethical principles invoked, etc. Write down the
distinctions—they will help you formulate clear topic sentences. If a single paragraph includes
several arguments or points—for example, two arguments and one counterargument—you
probably need to revisit paragraph development. You may be trying to do too many different
things within a single paragraph.
Re-examine the entire argument
Which section do you want to appear first? Why? Which second? Why? In what order should the
paragraphs appear in each section? Look for an order that makes the strongest possible
argument.
Strategy 4: Listing and narrowing your argument
Let’s say you’re writing a history paper, and your working thesis is this: “While both sides
fought the Civil War over the issue of slavery, the North fought for moral reasons,
while the South fought to preserve its own institutions.”
For this paper, what might be giving you trouble with organization is that you’ve created some
very broad categories to work with (slavery, morality, institutions). They’re all relevant to the
Civil War, but there’s only so much you can do in a three-, five-, or even ten-page paper. If you
look more closely, you can narrow your argument by finding more specific terms; narrowing
your argument will, in turn, help you rethink your organization.
In a compare and contrast paper like this one, where you distinguish between and explain two
sides of an issue, listing can help clarify both the organization and the argument.
Make a list
In two columns, list the reasons why each side fought the Civil War, limiting yourself to reasons
you address (however briefly) in your draft. Let’s say you come up with the following:
North South
slavery slavery
moral issues self government
humane treatment right to property
against tyranny against tyranny
against oppression of slaves against federal government oppression
As you can see, some of the issues pertain to both sides and some just to one or the other.
Thus, the listing process should relatively quickly confirm whether the draft obeys the argument
laid out in the working thesis.
Re-examine the thesis
You can now see that the draft offers clearer terms for your argument. A revised thesis
statement might now read: Both sides believed they fought against tyranny and oppression, but
while the South fought for the political and economic rights of slave owners, the North fought
for the human rights of slaves. This revised thesis offers more specifics, which should help you
organize your draft more successfully by narrowing the scope.
Re-examine the draft’s general structure
It seems from the list and the revised thesis statement that you probably want to establish the
similarities first and then explain the differences. Check your draft; did you begin with the
similarities and then move on to the differences? If not, you need to reorganize.
Reorganize the argument
You still need to ask yourself which differences are most important. The order in which you
present your points generally reflects a hierarchy of significance for your readers to follow.
Strategy 5: Visualizing
Many people find that a visual technique called clustering, mapping, or webbing is a good tool
for rethinking a draft’s organization. We tell you how to use these techniques in our handout on
brainstorming.
When you are working on reorganizing a draft, clustering, mapping, or webbing can help you
visually connect the points in your draft. Mapping your draft helps you see its structure in a new
way: you’ll get a clearer sense of the location and arrangement of your ideas. As a result, it
should be easier to make editorial choices that will lead to a more cohesive final draft.
Final thoughts
Learning new strategies for reorganizing your drafts will greatly strengthen your writing
process. Most writers find that their ideas develop as they write and that outlines made during
the pre-writing stage don’t always reflect the structure of the completed draft. Taking the time
to examine and, if necessary, rework your organization after writing your first draft will result in
a final paper that is easier for readers to follow. We hope the techniques suggested in this
handout will help you get things organized!

Revising Drafts
Rewriting is the essence of writing well—where the game is won or lost.
—William Zinsser
This handout will motivate you to revise your drafts and give you strategies to revise
effectively.
What does it mean to revise?
Revision literally means to “see again,” to look at something from a fresh, critical perspective. It
is an ongoing process of rethinking the paper: reconsidering your arguments, reviewing your
evidence, refining your purpose, reorganizing your presentation, reviving stale prose.
But I thought revision was just fixing the commas and spelling.
Nope. That’s called proofreading. It’s an important step before turning your paper in, but if your
ideas are predictable, your thesis is weak, and your organization is a mess, then proofreading
will just be putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. When you finish revising, that’s the time to
proofread. For more information on the subject, see our handout on proofreading.
How about if I just reword things: look for better words, avoid repetition, etc.? Is that revision?
Well, that’s a part of revision called editing. It’s another important final step in polishing your
work. But if you haven’t thought through your ideas, then rephrasing them won’t make any
difference.
Why is revision important?
Writing is a process of discovery, and you don’t always produce your best stuff when you first
get started. So revision is a chance for you to look critically at what you have written to see
if it’s really worth saying,
if it says what you wanted to say, and
if a reader will understand what you’re saying.
The process

What steps should I use when I begin to revise?
Here are several things to do. But don’t try them all at one time. Instead, focus on two or three
main areas during each revision session.
Wait awhile after you’ve finished a draft before looking at it again. The Roman poet Horace
thought one should wait nine years, but that’s a bit much. A day—a few hours even—will
work. When you do return to the draft, be honest with yourself, and don’t be lazy. Ask
yourself what you really think about the paper.
As the Scott Foresman Handbook for Writers puts it, “THINK BIG, don’t tinker” (61). At this
stage, you should be concerned with the large issues in the paper, not the commas.
Check the focus of the paper: Is it appropriate to the assignment? Is the topic too big or
too narrow? Do you stay on track through the entire paper?
Think honestly about your thesis: Do you still agree with it? Should it be modified in light of
something you discovered as you wrote the paper? Does it make a sophisticated,
provocative point, or does it just say what anyone could say if given the same topic? Does
your thesis generalize instead of taking a specific position? Should it be changed
altogether? For more information visit our handout on thesis statements.
Think about your purpose in writing: Does your introduction state clearly what you intend
to do? Will your aims be clear to your readers?
What are some other steps I should consider in later stages of the revision process?
Examine the balance within your paper: Are some parts out of proportion with others? Do
you spend too much time on one trivial point and neglect a more important point? Do you
give lots of detail early on and then let your points get thinner by the end?
Check that you have kept your promises to your readers: Does your paper follow through
on what the thesis promises? Do you support all the claims in your thesis? Are the tone and
formality of the language appropriate for your audience?
Check the organization: Does your paper follow a pattern that makes sense? Do the
transitions move your readers smoothly from one point to the next? Do the topic sentences
of each paragraph appropriately introduce what that paragraph is about? Would your paper
work better if you moved some things around? For more information visit our handout on
reorganizing drafts.
Check your information: Are all your facts accurate? Are any of your statements
misleading? Have you provided enough detail to satisfy readers’ curiosity? Have you cited
all your information appropriately?
Check your conclusion: Does the last paragraph tie the paper together smoothly and end
on a stimulating note, or does the paper just die a slow, redundant, lame, or abrupt death?
Whoa! I thought I could just revise in a few minutes.
Sorry. You may want to start working on your next paper early so that you have plenty of time
for revising. That way you can give yourself some time to come back to look at what you’ve
written with a fresh pair of eyes. It’s amazing how something that sounded brilliant the moment

you wrote it can prove to be less-than-brilliant when you give it a chance to incubate.
But I don’t want to rewrite my whole paper!
Revision doesn’t necessarily mean rewriting the whole paper. Sometimes it means revising the
thesis to match what you’ve discovered while writing. Sometimes it means coming up with
stronger arguments to defend your position, or coming up with more vivid examples to
illustrate your points. Sometimes it means shifting the order of your paper to help the reader
follow your argument, or to change the emphasis of your points. Sometimes it means adding or
deleting material for balance or emphasis. And then, sadly, sometimes revision does mean
trashing your first draft and starting from scratch. Better that than having the teacher trash
your final paper.
But I work so hard on what I write that I can’t afford to throw any of it away.
If you want to be a polished writer, then you will eventually find out that you can’t afford NOT
to throw stuff away. As writers, we often produce lots of material that needs to be tossed. The
idea or metaphor or paragraph that I think is most wonderful and brilliant is often the very
thing that confuses my reader or ruins the tone of my piece or interrupts the flow of my
argument. A writing teacher once told my class to “Kill your babies.” Sorry for the grim image,
but she meant that writers must be willing to sacrifice their favorite bits of writing for the good
of the piece as a whole. In order to trim things down, though, you first have to have plenty of
material on the page. One trick is not to hinder yourself while you are composing the first draft
because the more you produce, the more you will have to work with when cutting time comes.
But sometimes I revise as I go.
That’s OK. Since writing is a circular process, you don’t do everything in some specific order.
Sometimes you write something and then tinker with it before moving on. But be warned: there
are two potential problems with revising as you go. One is that if you revise only as you go
along, you never get to think of the big picture. The key is still to give yourself enough time to
look at the essay as a whole once you’ve finished. Another danger to revising as you go is that
you may short-circuit your creativity. If you spend too much time tinkering with what is on the
page, you may lose some of what hasn’t yet made it to the page. Here’s a tip: Don’t proofread
as you go. You may waste time correcting the commas in a sentence that may end up being cut
anyway.
How do I go about the process of revising? Any tips?
Work from hardcopy; it’s easier on the eyes. Also, problems that seem invisible on the
screen somehow tend to show up better on paper.
Another tip is to read the paper out loud. That’s one way to see how well things flow.
Remember all those questions listed above? Don’t try to tackle all of them in one draft. Pick
a few “agendas” for each draft so that you won’t go mad trying to see all at once if you’ve
done everything.
Ask lots of questions and don’t flinch from answering them truthfully. For example, ask if

 there are opposing viewpoints that you haven’t considered yet.
Concerns
Whenever I revise, I just make things worse. I do my best work without revising.
That’s a common misconception that sometimes arises from fear, sometimes from laziness. The
truth is, though, that except for those rare moments of inspiration or genius when the perfect
ideas expressed in the perfect words in the perfect order flow gracefully and effortlessly from
the mind, all experienced writers revise their work. I wrote six drafts of this handout.
Hemingway rewrote the last page of A Farewell to Arms thirty-nine times. If you’re still not
convinced, re-read some of your old papers. How do they sound now? What would you revise if
you had a chance?
What can get in the way of good revision strategies?
Don’t fall in love with what you have written. If you do, you will be hesitant to change it even if
you know it’s not great. Start out with a working thesis, and don’t act like you’re married to it.
Instead, act like you’re dating it, seeing if you’re compatible, finding out what it’s like from day
to day. If a better thesis comes along, let go of the old one. Also, don’t think of revision as just
rewording. It is a chance to look at the entire paper, not just isolated words and sentences.
What happens if I find that I no longer agree with my own point?
If you take revision seriously, sometimes the process will lead you to questions you cannot
answer, objections or exceptions to your thesis, cases that don’t fit, loose ends or
contradictions that just won’t go away. If this happens (and it will if you think long enough),
then you have several choices. You could choose to ignore the loose ends and hope your reader
doesn’t notice them, but that’s risky. You could change your thesis completely to fit your new
understanding of the issue, or you could adjust your thesis slightly to accommodate the new
ideas. Or you could simply acknowledge the contradictions and show why your main point still
holds up in spite of them. Most readers know there are no easy answers, so they may be
annoyed if you give them a thesis and try to claim that it is always true with no exceptions no
matter what.
How do I get really good at revising?
The same way you get really good at golf, piano, or a video game—do it often. Take revision
seriously, be disciplined, and set high standards for yourself. Here are three more tips:
The more you produce, the more you can cut.
The more you can imagine yourself as a reader looking at this for the first time, the easier
it will be to spot potential problems.
The more you demand of yourself in terms of clarity and elegance, the more clear and
elegant your writing will be.

How do I revise at the sentence level?
Read your paper out loud, sentence by sentence, and follow Peter Elbow’s advice: “Look for
places where you stumble or get lost in the middle of a sentence. These are obvious
awkwardness’s that need fixing. Look for places where you get distracted or even bored—where
you cannot concentrate. These are places where you probably lost focus or concentration in
your writing. Cut through the extra words or vagueness or digression; get back to the energy.
Listen even for the tiniest jerk or stumble in your reading, the tiniest lessening of your energy
or focus or concentration as you say the words . . . A sentence should be alive” (Writing with
Power 135).
Practical advice for ensuring that your sentences are alive:
Use forceful verbs—replace long verb phrases with a more specific verb. For example,
replace “She argues for the importance of the idea” with “She defends the idea.”
Look for places where you’ve used the same word or phrase twice or more in consecutive
sentences and look for alternative ways to say the same thing OR for ways to combine the
two sentences.
Cut as many prepositional phrases as you can without losing your meaning. For instance,
the following sentence, “There are several examples of the issue of integrity in Huck Finn,”
would be much better this way, “Huck Finn repeatedly addresses the issue of integrity.”
Check your sentence variety. If more than two sentences in a row start the same way (with
a subject followed by a verb, for example), then try using a different sentence pattern.
Aim for precision in word choice. Don’t settle for the best word you can think of at the
moment—use a thesaurus (along with a dictionary) to search for the word that says exactly
what you want to say.
Look for sentences that start with “It is” or “There are” and see if you can revise them to be
more active and engaging.
For more information, please visit our handouts on word choice and style.
Works consulted/additional resources
Anson, Chris and Robert Schwegler. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers, 2nd
edition. New York: Longman, 2000. See part II, “Drafting and Revising.”
Elbow, Peter. Writing With Power. New York: Oxford UP, 1998. See especially Part III, “More
Ways to Revise.”
Hairston, Maxine, John Ruszkiewicz and Christy Friend. The Scott, Foresman Handbook for
Writers. 6th ed. New York: Longman, 2002. See Chapter 5, “How do you Revise, Edit, and
Proofread?
Lanham, Richard. Revising Prose. 4th ed. Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 2000. This book is primarily
concerned with stylistic revisions, making your prose forceful and elegant.
Lunsford, Andrea and Robert Connors. The New St. Martin’s Handbook, 5th edition. Boston:
Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2003. See Chapter 4, “Revising and Editing.”
Zinsser, William. On Writing Well. 6th ed. New York: HarperCollins, 2001. See Chapter 17,

“Rewriting and Word Processing.”

Scientific Reports
This handout provides a general guide to writing reports about scientific research you’ve
performed. In addition to describing the conventional rules about the format and content of a
lab report, we’ll also attempt to convey why these rules exist, so you’ll get a clearer, more
dependable idea of how to approach this writing situation.
Background and pre-writing
Introduction
Methods and Materials
Results
Discussion
This format, sometimes called “IMRAD,” may take slightly different shapes depending on the
discipline or audience; some ask you to include an abstract or separate section for the
hypothesis, or call the Discussion section “Conclusions,” or change the order of the sections
(some professional and academic journals require the Methods section to appear last). Overall,
however, the IMRAD format was devised to represent a textual version of the scientific method.
The scientific method, you’ll probably recall, involves developing a hypothesis, testing it, and
deciding whether your findings support the hypothesis. In essence, the format for a research
report in the sciences mirrors the scientific method but fleshes out the process a little. Below,
you’ll find a table that shows how each written section fits into the scientific method and what
additional information it offers the reader.

Why do we write research reports? Section Scientific method step As well as…
Introduction states your hypothesis explains how you derived that hypothesis and how it
You did an experiment or study for your science class, and now you have to write it up for your
connects to previous research; gives the purpose of
teacher to review. You feel that you understood the background sufficiently, designed and
the experiment/study
completed the study effectively, obtained useful data, and can use those data to draw
Methods details how you tested clarifies why you performed your study in that
conclusions about a scientific process or principle. But how exactly do you write all that? What
your hypothesis particular way
is your teacher expecting to see?

To take some of the guesswork out of answering these questions, try to think beyond the Results provides raw (i.e., (perhaps) expresses the data in table form, as an
classroom setting. In fact, you and your teacher are both part of a scientific community, and uninterpreted) data easy-to-read figure, or as percentages/ratios
the people who participate in this community tend to share the same values. As long as you collected
understand and respect these values, your writing will likely meet the expectations of your Discussion considers whether the data explores the implications of your finding and judges
audience—including your teacher. you obtained support the the potential limitations of your experimental design
hypothesis
So why are you writing this research report? The practical answer is “Because the teacher
assigned it,” but that’s classroom thinking. Generally speaking, people investigating some Thinking of your research report as based on the scientific method, but elaborated in the ways
scientific hypothesis have a responsibility to the rest of the scientific world to report their described above, may help you to meet your audience’s expectations successfully. Actually,
findings, particularly if these findings add to or contradict previous ideas. As you can probably we’re going to proceed by explicitly connecting each section of the lab report to the scientific
imagine, people reading such reports have two primary goals: method, then explaining why and how you need to elaborate that section.

They want to gather the information presented. It’s important to understand that although this handout takes each section in the order in which
They want to know that the findings are legitimate. it should be presented in the final report, you may for practical reasons decide to compose
sections in another order. For example, many writers find that composing their Methods and
Your job as a writer, then, is to fulfill these two goals.
Results before the other sections help to clarify their idea of the experiment or study as a
How do I do that? whole. You might consider using each assignment to practice different approaches to drafting
the report, to find the order that works best for you.
Good question. You’re probably familiar with the basic format scientists have designed for
research reports: What should I do before drafting the lab report?

 
The best way to prepare to write the lab report is to make sure that you fully understand Once you’ve completed these steps as you perform the experiment, you’ll be in a good position
everything you need to about the experiment. Obviously, if you don’t quite know what went on to draft an effective lab report.
during the lab, you’re going to find it difficult to explain the lab satisfactorily to someone else.
To make sure you know enough to write the report, complete the following steps: Introductions

How do I write a strong Introduction?

1. Read your lab manual thoroughly, well before you start to carry out the experiment. Ask
yourself the following questions:
For the purposes of this handout, we’ll consider the Introduction to contain four basic elements:
What are we going to do in this lab? (That is, what’s the procedure?)
the purpose, the scientific literature relevant to the subject, the hypothesis, and the reasons
Why are we going to do it that way?
you believed your hypothesis viable. Let’s start by going through each element of the
What are we hoping to learn from this experiment?
Introduction to clarify what it covers and why it’s important. Then we can formulate a logical
Why would we benefit from this knowledge?
organizational strategy for the section.
Answering these questions will lead you to a more complete understanding of the
Purpose
experiment, and this “big picture” will in turn help you write a successful lab report.
The inclusion of the purpose (sometimes called the objective) of the experiment often confuses
2. Make use of your lab supervisor as you perform the lab. If you don’t know how to answer
writers. The biggest misconception is that the purpose is the same as the hypothesis. Not quite.
one of the questions above, for example, your lab supervisor will probably be able to
We’ll get to hypotheses in a minute, but basically they provide some indication of what you
explain it to you (or, at least, help you figure it out).
expect the experiment to show. The purpose is broader, and deals more with what you expect
3. Plan the steps of the experiment carefully with your lab partners. The less panicky running
to gain through the experiment. In a professional setting, the hypothesis might have something
around you do, the more likely it is that you’ll perform the experiment correctly and record
to do with how cells react to a certain kind of genetic manipulation, but the purpose of the
your findings accurately. Also, take some time to think about the best way to organize the
experiment is to learn more about potential cancer treatments. Undergraduate reports don’t
data before you have to start putting numbers down. If you can design a table to account
often have this wide-ranging a goal, but you should still try to maintain the distinction between
for the data, that will tend to work much better than jotting results down hurriedly on a
your hypothesis and your purpose. In a solubility experiment, for example, your hypothesis
scrap piece of paper.
might talk about the relationship between temperature and the rate of solubility, but the
4. Record the data carefully so you get them right. You won’t be able to trust your conclusions
purpose is probably to learn more about some specific scientific principle underlying the process
if you have the wrong data, and your readers will know you messed up if the other three
of solubility.
people in your group have “97 degrees” and you have “87.”
5. Consult with your lab partners about everything you do. Lab groups often make one or two Hypothesis
mistakes: two people do all the work while two have a nice chat, or everybody works
together until the group finishes gathering the raw data, then scrams outta there. For starters, most people say that you should write out your working hypothesis before you
Collaborate with your partners, even when the experiment is “over.” What trends did you perform the experiment or study. Many beginning science students neglect to do so and find
observe? Was the hypothesis supported? Did you all get the same results? What kind of themselves struggling to remember precisely which variables were involved in the process or in
figure should you use to represent your findings? The whole group can work together to what way the researchers felt that they were related. Write your hypothesis down as you
answer these questions. develop it—you’ll be glad you did.
6. Consider your audience. You may believe that audience is a non-issue: it’s your lab TA,
As for the form a hypothesis should take, it’s best not to be too fancy or complicated; an
right? Well, yes—but again, think beyond the classroom. If you write with only your lab
inventive style isn’t nearly so important as clarity here. There’s nothing wrong with beginning
instructor in mind, you may omit material that is crucial to a complete understanding of
your hypothesis with the phrase, “It was hypothesized that . . .” Be as specific as you can about
your experiment, because you assume the instructor knows all that stuff already. As a
the relationship between the different objects of your study. In other words, explain that when
result, you may receive a lower grade, since your TA won’t be sure that you understand all
term A changes, term B changes in this particular way. Readers of scientific writing are rarely
the principles at work. Try to write towards a student in the same course but a different lab
content with the idea that a relationship between two terms exists—they want to know what
section. That student will have a fair degree of scientific expertise but won’t know much
that relationship entails.
about your experiment particularly. Alternatively, you could envision yourself five years
from now, after the reading and lectures for this course have faded a bit. What would you Not a hypothesis: “It was hypothesized that there is a significant relationship between the
remember, and what would you need explained more clearly (as a refresher)? temperature of a solvent and the rate at which a solute dissolves.”

 
Hypothesis: “It was hypothesized that as the temperature of a solvent increases, the rate at
which a solute will dissolve in that solvent increases.”
Put more technically, most hypotheses contain both an independent and a dependent variable.
The independent variable is what you manipulate to test the reaction; the dependent variable is
what changes as a result of your manipulation. In the example above, the independent variable
is the temperature of the solvent, and the dependent variable is the rate of solubility. Be sure
that your hypothesis includes both variables.
Justify your hypothesis
You need to do more than tell your readers what your hypothesis is; you also need to assure
them that this hypothesis was reasonable, given the circumstances. In other words, use the
Introduction to explain that you didn’t just pluck your hypothesis out of thin air. (If you did
pluck it out of thin air, your problems with your report will probably extend beyond using the
appropriate format.) If you posit that a particular relationship exists between the independent
and the dependent variable, what led you to believe your “guess” might be supported by
evidence?
Scientists often refer to this type of justification as “motivating” the hypothesis, in the sense
that something propelled them to make that prediction. Often, motivation includes what we
already know—or rather, what scientists generally accept as true (see “Background/previous
research” below). But you can also motivate your hypothesis by relying on logic or on your own
observations. If you’re trying to decide which solutes will dissolve more rapidly in a solvent at
increased temperatures, you might remember that some solids are meant to dissolve in hot
water (e.g., bouillon cubes) and some are used for a function precisely because they withstand
higher temperatures (they make saucepans out of something). Or you can think about whether
you’ve noticed sugar dissolving more rapidly in your glass of iced tea or in your cup of coffee.
Even such basic, outside-the-lab observations can help you justify your hypothesis as
reasonable.
Background/previous research
This part of the Introduction demonstrates to the reader your awareness of how you’re building
on other scientists’ work. If you think of the scientific community as engaging in a series of
conversations about various topics, then you’ll recognize that the relevant background material
will alert the reader to which conversation you want to enter.
Generally speaking, authors writing journal articles use the background for slightly different
purposes than do students completing assignments. Because readers of academic journals tend
to be professionals in the field, authors explain the background in order to permit readers to
evaluate the study’s pertinence for their own work. You, on the other hand, write toward a
much narrower audience—your peers in the course or your lab instructor—and so you must
demonstrate that you understand the context for the (presumably assigned) experiment or
study you’ve completed. For example, if your professor has been talking about polarity during

lectures, and you’re doing a solubility experiment, you might try to connect the polarity of a
solid to its relative solubility in certain solvents. In any event, both professional researchers and
undergraduates need to connect the background material overtly to their own work.
Organization of this section
Most of the time, writers begin by stating the purpose or objectives of their own work, which
establishes for the reader’s benefit the “nature and scope of the problem investigated” (Day
1994). Once you have expressed your purpose, you should then find it easier to move from the
general purpose, to relevant material on the subject, to your hypothesis. In abbreviated form,
an Introduction section might look like this: “The purpose of the experiment was to test
conventional ideas about solubility in the laboratory [purpose] . . . According to Whitecoat and
Labrat (1999), at higher temperatures the molecules of solvents move more quickly . . . We
know from the class lecture that molecules moving at higher rates of speed collide with one
another more often and thus break down more easily [background material/motivation] . . .
Thus, it was hypothesized that as the temperature of a solvent increases, the rate at which a
solute will dissolve in that solvent increases [hypothesis].”
Again—these are guidelines, not commandments. Some writers and readers prefer different
structures for the Introduction. The one above merely illustrates a common approach to
organizing material.
Methods and Materials
How do I write a strong Materials and Methods section?
As with any piece of writing, your Methods section will succeed only if it fulfills its readers’
expectations, so you need to be clear in your own mind about the purpose of this section. Let’s
review the purpose as we described it above: in this section, you want to describe in detail how
you tested the hypothesis you developed and also to clarify the rationale for your procedure. In
science, it’s not sufficient merely to design and carry out an experiment. Ultimately, others
must be able to verify your findings, so your experiment must be reproducible, to the extent
that other researchers can follow the same procedure and obtain the same (or similar) results.
Here’s a real-world example of the importance of reproducibility. In 1989, physicists Stanley
Pons and Martin Fleischman announced that they had discovered “cold fusion,” a way of
producing excess heat and power without the nuclear radiation that accompanies “hot fusion.”
Such a discovery could have great ramifications for the industrial production of energy, so these
findings created a great deal of interest. When other scientists tried to duplicate the
experiment, however, they didn’t achieve the same results, and as a result many wrote off the
conclusions as unjustified (or worse, a hoax). To this day, the viability of cold fusion is debated
within the scientific community, even though an increasing number of researchers believe it
possible. So when you write your Methods section, keep in mind that you need to describe your
experiment well enough to allow others to replicate it exactly.

With these goals in mind, let’s consider how to write an effective Methods section in terms of
content, structure, and style.
Content
Sometimes the hardest thing about writing this section isn’t what you should talk about, but
what you shouldn’t talk about. Writers often want to include the results of their experiment,
because they measured and recorded the results during the course of the experiment. But such
data should be reserved for the Results section. In the Methods section, you can write that you
recorded the results, or how you recorded the results (e.g., in a table), but you shouldn’t write
what the results were—not yet. Here, you’re merely stating exactly how you went about testing
your hypothesis.
How much detail? Be precise in providing details, but stay relevant. Ask yourself, “Would it
make any difference if this piece were a different size or made from a different material?” If
not, you probably don’t need to get too specific. If so, you should give as many details as
necessary to prevent this experiment from going awry if someone else tries to carry it out.
Probably the most crucial detail is measurement; you should always quantify anything you
can, such as time elapsed, temperature, mass, volume, etc.
Rationale: Be sure that as you’re relating your actions during the experiment, you explain
your rationale for the protocol you developed. If you capped a test tube immediately after
adding a solute to a solvent, why did you do that? (That’s really two questions: why did you
cap it, and why did you cap it immediately?) In a professional setting, writers provide their
rationale as a way to explain their thinking to potential critics. On one hand, of course,
that’s your motivation for talking about protocol, too. On the other hand, since in practical
terms you’re also writing to your teacher (who’s seeking to evaluate how well you
comprehend the principles of the experiment), explaining the rationale indicates that you
understand the reasons for conducting the experiment in that way, and that you’re not just
following orders. Critical thinking is crucial—robots don’t make good scientists.
Control: Most experiments will include a control, which is a means of comparing
experimental results. (Sometimes you’ll need to have more than one control, depending on
the number of hypotheses you want to test.) The control is exactly the same as the other
items you’re testing, except that you don’t manipulate the independent variable-the
condition you’re altering to check the effect on the dependent variable. For example, if
you’re testing solubility rates at increased temperatures, your control would be a solution
that you didn’t heat at all; that way, you’ll see how quickly the solute dissolves “naturally”
(i.e., without manipulation), and you’ll have a point of reference against which to compare
the solutions you did heat.
Describe the control in the Methods section. Two things are especially important in writing
about the control: identify the control as a control, and explain what you’re controlling for.
Example: “As a control for the temperature change, we placed the same amount of solute in
the same amount of solvent, and let the solution stand for five minutes without heating it.”
Structure and style

Organization is especially important in the Methods section of a lab report because readers
must understand your experimental procedure completely. Many writers are surprised by the
difficulty of conveying what they did during the experiment, since after all they’re only reporting
an event, but it’s often tricky to present this information in a coherent way. There’s a fairly
standard structure you can use to guide you, and following the conventions for style can help
clarify your points.
Subsections: Occasionally, researchers use subsections to report their procedure when the
following circumstances apply: 1) if they’ve used a great many materials; 2) if the
procedure is unusually complicated; 3) if they’ve developed a procedure that won’t be
familiar to many of their readers. Because these conditions rarely apply to the experiments
you’ll perform in class, most undergraduate lab reports won’t require you to use
subsections. In fact, many guides to writing lab reports suggest that you try to limit your
Methods section to a single paragraph.
Narrative structure: Think of this section as telling a story about a group of people and the
experiment they performed. Describe what you did in the order in which you did it. You
may have heard the old joke centered on the line, “Disconnect the red wire, but only after
disconnecting the green wire,” where the person reading the directions blows everything to
kingdom come because the directions weren’t in order. We’re used to reading about events
chronologically, and so your readers will generally understand what you did if you present
that information in the same way.Also, since the Methods section does generally appear as
a narrative (story), you want to avoid the “recipe” approach: “First, take a clean, dry 100
ml test tube from the rack. Next, add 50 ml of distilled water.” You should be reporting
what did happen, not telling the reader how to perform the experiment: “50 ml of distilled
water was poured into a clean, dry 100 ml test tube.” Hint: most of the time, the recipe
approach comes from copying down the steps of the procedure from your lab manual, so
you may want to draft the Methods section initially without consulting your manual. Later,
of course, you can go back and fill in any part of the procedure you inadvertently
overlooked.
Past tense: Remember that you’re describing what happened, so you should use past tense
to refer to everything you did during the experiment. Writers are often tempted to use the
imperative (“Add 5 g of the solid to the solution”) because that’s how their lab manuals are
worded; less frequently, they use present tense (“5 g of the solid are added to the
solution”). Instead, remember that you’re talking about an event which happened at a
particular time in the past, and which has already ended by the time you start writing, so
simple past tense will be appropriate in this section (“5 g of the solid were added to the
solution” or “We added 5 g of the solid to the solution”).
Passive voice vs. first person: In the past, scientific journals encouraged their writers to
avoid using the first person (“I” or “we”), because the researchers themselves weren’t
personally important to the procedure in the experiment. Remember that other researchers
should ideally be able to reproduce experiments exactly, based on the lab report; using first
person indicates (to some readers) that the experiment cannot be duplicated without the
original researchers present. To help keep personal references out of lab reports, scientific
conventions also dictated that researchers should use passive voice, in which the subject of

 a sentence or clause doesn’t perform the action described by the verb. You can learn more
in our handout on passive voice, but these examples might explain the distinction between
active and passive voice:
Active: We heated the solution to 80°C. (The subject, “we,” performs the action,
heating.)
Passive: The solution was heated to 80°C. (The subject, “solution,” doesn’t do the
heating–it is acted upon, not acting.)
Increasingly, especially in the social sciences, using first person and active voice is acceptable
in scientific reports. Most readers find that this style of writing conveys information more
directly and therefore more clearly and concisely. This rhetorical choice thus brings two
scientific values into conflict: objectivity versus clarity. Since the scientific community hasn’t
reached a consensus about which style it prefers, you may want to ask your lab instructor.
Results
How do I write a strong Results section?
Here’s a paradox for you. The Results section is often both the shortest (yay!) and most
important (uh-oh!) part of your report. Your Materials and Methods section shows how you
obtained the results, and your Discussion section explores the significance of the results, so
clearly the Results section forms the backbone of the lab report. This section provides the most
critical information about your experiment: the data that allow you to discuss how your
hypothesis was or wasn’t supported. But it doesn’t provide anything else, which explains why
this section is generally shorter than the others.
Before you write this section, look at all the data you collected to figure out what relates
significantly to your hypothesis. You’ll want to highlight this material in your Results section.
Resist the urge to include every bit of data you collected, since perhaps not all are relevant.
Also, don’t try to draw conclusions about the results—save them for the Discussion section. In
this section, you’re reporting facts. Nothing your readers can dispute should appear in the
Results section.
figure directly, where appropriate: “Table 1 lists the rates of solubility for each substance” or
“Solubility increased as the temperature of the solution increased (see Figure 1).” If you do use
tables or figures, make sure that you don’t present the same material in both the text and the
tables/figures, since in essence you’ll just repeat yourself, probably annoying your readers with
the redundancy of your statements.
Feel free to describe trends that emerge as you examine the data. Although identifying trends
requires some judgment on your part and so may not feel like factual reporting, no one can
deny that these trends do exist, and so they properly belong in the Results section. Example:
“Heating the solution increased the rate of solubility of polar solids by 45% but had no effect on
the rate of solubility in solutions containing non-polar solids.” This point isn’t debatable—you’re
just pointing out what the data show.
As in the Materials and Methods section, you want to refer to your data in the past tense,
because the events you recorded have already occurred and have finished occurring. In the
example above, note the use of “increased” and “had,” rather than “increases” and “has.” (You
don’t know from your experiment that heating always increases the solubility of polar solids,
but it did that time.)
Tables
You shouldn’t put information in the table that also appears in the text or use a table to present
irrelevant data, just to show you did collect these data during the experiment. Tables are good
for some purposes and situations, but not others, so whether and how you’ll use tables depends
upon what you need them to accomplish.
Tables are useful ways to show variation in data, but not to present a great deal of unchanging
measurements. If you’re dealing with a scientific phenomenon that occurs only within a certain
range of temperatures, for example, you don’t need to use a table to show that the
phenomenon didn’t occur at any of the other temperatures. How useful is this table?

Most Results sections feature three distinct parts: text, tables, and figures. Let’s consider each
part one at a time.

Text

This should be a short paragraph, generally just a few lines, that describes the results you
obtained from your experiment. In a relatively simple experiment, one that doesn’t produce a
lot of data for you to repeat, the text can represent the entire Results section. Don’t feel that
you need to include lots of extraneous detail to compensate for a short (but effective) text;
your readers appreciate discrimination more than your ability to recite facts. In a more complex
experiment, you may want to use tables and/or figures to help guide your readers toward the
most important information you gathered. In that event, you’ll need to refer to each table or

 
As you can probably see, no solubility was observed until the trial temperature reached 50°C, a
fact that the text part of the Results section could easily convey. The table could then be limited
to what happened at 50°C and higher, thus better illustrating the differences in solubility rates
when solubility did occur.

As a rule, try not to use a table to describe any experimental event you can cover in one
sentence of text. Here’s an example of an unnecessary table from How to Write and Publish a
Scientific Paper, by Robert A. Day:

It’s a little tough to see the trends that the author presumably wants to present in this
table. Compare this table, in which the data appear vertically:

As Day notes, all the information in this table can be summarized in one sentence: “S. griseus,
S. coelicolor, S. everycolor, and S. rainbowenski grew under aerobic conditions, whereas S.
nocolor and S. greenicus required anaerobic conditions.” Most readers won’t find the table
clearer than that one sentence.

When you do have reason to tabulate material, pay attention to the clarity and readability of
the format you use. Here are a few tips:
Number your table. Then, when you refer to the table in the text, use that number to tell
your readers which table they can review to clarify the material.
Give your table a title. This title should be descriptive enough to communicate the contents
of the table, but not so long that it becomes difficult to follow. The titles in the sample
tables above are acceptable.
Arrange your table so that readers read vertically, not horizontally. For the most part, this
rule means that you should construct your table so that like elements read down, not
across. Think about what you want your readers to compare, and put that information in
the column (up and down) rather than in the row (across). Usually, the point of comparison
will be the numerical data you collect, so especially make sure you have columns of
numbers, not rows.Here’s an example of how drastically this decision affects the readability
of your table (from A Short Guide to Writing about Chemistry, by Herbert Beall and John
Trimbur). Look at this table, which presents the relevant data in horizontal rows:
The second table shows how putting like elements in a vertical column makes for easier
reading. In this case, the like elements are the measurements of length and height, over
five trials–not, as in the first table, the length and height measurements foreach trial.
Make sure to include units of measurement in the tables. Readers might be able to guess
that you measured something in millimeters, but don’t make them try.
Line up numbers on the right, like this:
1058
432
7
or on the decimal point. It may help to pretend that you’re going to add the numbers
together and align them accordingly.
Don’t use vertical lines as part of the format for your table. This convention exists because
journals prefer not to have to reproduce these lines because the tables then become more
expensive to print. Even though it’s fairly unlikely that you’ll be sending your Biology 11 lab
report to Science for publication, your readers still have this expectation. Consequently, if
you use the table-drawing option in your word-processing software, choose the option that

 
 doesn’t rely on a “grid” format (which includes vertical lines).
Figures
How do I include figures in my report?
Although tables can be useful ways of showing trends in the results you obtained, figures (i.e.,
illustrations) can do an even better job of emphasizing such trends. Lab report writers often use
graphic representations of the data they collected to provide their readers with a literal picture
of how the experiment went.
When should you use a figure?
Remember the circumstances under which you don’t need a table: when you don’t have a great
deal of data, or when the data you have don’t vary a lot. Under the same conditions, you would
probably forgo the figure as well, since the figure would be unlikely to provide your readers with
an additional perspective. Scientists really don’t like their time wasted, so they tend not to
respond favorably to redundancy.
If you’re trying to decide between using a table and creating a figure to present your material,
consider the following a rule of thumb. The strength of a table lies in its ability to supply large
amounts of exact data, whereas the strength of a figure is its dramatic illustration of important
trends within the experiment. If you feel that your readers won’t get the full impact of the
results you obtained just by looking at the numbers, then a figure might be appropriate.
Of course, an undergraduate class may expect you to create a figure for your lab experiment, if
only to make sure that you can do so effectively. If this is the case, then don’t worry about
whether to use figures or not—concentrate instead on how best to accomplish your task.
Figures can include maps, photographs, pen-and-ink drawings, flow charts, bar graphs, and
section graphs (“pie charts”). But the most common figure by far, especially for
undergraduates, is the line graph, so we’ll focus on that type in this handout.
At the undergraduate level, you can often draw and label your graphs by hand, provided that
the result is clear, legible, and drawn to scale. Computer technology has, however, made
creating line graphs a lot easier. Most word-processing software has a number of functions for
transferring data into graph form; many scientists have found Microsoft Excel, for example, a
helpful tool in graphing results. If you plan on pursuing a career in the sciences, it may be well
worth your while to learn to use a similar program.
Computers can’t, however, decide for you how your graph really works; you have to know how
to design your graph to meet your readers’ expectations. Some of these expectations follow:
Keep it as simple as possible. You may be tempted to signal the complexity of the
information you gathered by trying to design a graph that accounts for that complexity. But
remember the purpose of your graph: to dramatize your results in a manner that’s easy to
 
see and grasp. Try not to make the reader stare at the graph for a half hour to find the
important line among the mass of other lines.For maximum effectiveness, limit yourself to
three to five lines per graph; if you have more data to demonstrate, use a set of graphs to
account for them, rather than trying to cram it all into a single figure.
Plot the independent variable on the horizontal (x) axis and the dependent variable on the
vertical (y) axis. Remember that the independent variable is the condition that you
manipulated during the experiment and the dependent variable is the condition that you
measured to see if it changed along with the independent variable.Placing the variables
along their respective axes is mostly just a convention, but since your readers are
accustomed to viewing graphs in this way, you’re better off not challenging the convention
in your report.
Label each axis carefully, and be especially careful to include units of measure. You need to
make sure that your readers understand perfectly well what your graph indicates.
Number and title your graphs. As with tables, the title of the graph should be informative
but concise, and you should refer to your graph by number in the text (e.g., “Figure 1
shows the increase in the solubility rate as a function of temperature”).
Many editors of professional scientific journals prefer that writers distinguish the lines in
their graphs by attaching a symbol to them, usually a geometric shape (triangle, square,
etc.), and using that symbol throughout the curve of the line. Generally, readers have a
hard time distinguishing dotted lines from dot-dash lines from straight lines, so you should
consider staying away from this system. Editors don’t usually like different-colored lines
within a graph, because colors are difficult and expensive to reproduce; colors may,
however, be great for your purposes, as long as you’re not planning to submit your paper
to Nature. Use your discretion—try to employ whichever technique dramatizes the results
most effectively.
Try to gather data at regular intervals, so the plot points on your graph aren’t too far apart.
You can’t be sure of the arc you should draw between the plot points if the points are
located at the far corners of the graph; over a fifteen-minute interval, perhaps the change
occurred in the first or last thirty seconds of that period (in which case your straight-line
connection between the points is misleading).
If you’re worried that you didn’t collect data at sufficiently regular intervals during your
experiment, go ahead and connect the points with a straight line, but you may want to
examine this problem as part of your Discussion section.
Make your graph large enough so that everything is legible and clearly demarcated, but not
so large that it either overwhelms the rest of the Results section or provides a far greater
range than you need to illustrate your point. If, for example, the seedlings of your plant
grew only 15 mm during the trial, you don’t need to construct a graph that accounts for
100 mm of growth. The lines in your graph should more or less fill the space created by the
axes; if you see that your data is confined to the lower left portion of the graph, you should
probably re-adjust your scale.
If you create a set of graphs, make them the same size and format, including all the verbal
and visual codes (captions, symbols, scale, etc.). You want to be as consistent as possible
in your illustrations, so that your readers can easily make the comparisons you’re trying to
 get them to see.
Discussion
How do I write a strong Discussion section?
The discussion section is probably the least formalized part of the report, in that you can’t really
apply the same structure to every type of experiment. In simple terms, here you tell your
readers what to make of the Results you obtained. If you have done the Results part well, your
readers should already recognize the trends in the data and have a fairly clear idea of whether
your hypothesis was supported. Because the Results can seem so self-explanatory, many
students find it difficult to know what material to add in this last section.
Basically, the Discussion contains several parts, in no particular order, but roughly moving from
specific (i.e., related to your experiment only) to general (how your findings fit in the larger
scientific community). In this section, you will, as a rule, need to:
Explain whether the data support your hypothesis
Acknowledge any anomalous data or deviations from what you expected
Derive conclusions, based on your findings, about the process you’re studying
Relate your findings to earlier work in the same area (if you can)
Explore the theoretical and/or practical implications of your findings
Let’s look at some dos and don’ts for each of these objectives.
Explain whether the data support your hypothesis
This statement is usually a good way to begin the Discussion, since you can’t effectively speak
about the larger scientific value of your study until you’ve figured out the particulars of this
experiment. You might begin this part of the Discussion by explicitly stating the relationships or
correlations your data indicate between the independent and dependent variables. Then you
can show more clearly why you believe your hypothesis was or was not supported. For
example, if you tested solubility at various temperatures, you could start this section by noting
that the rates of solubility increased as the temperature increased. If your initial hypothesis
surmised that temperature change would not affect solubility, you would then say something
like, “The hypothesis that temperature change would not affect solubility was not supported by
the data.”
Note: Students tend to view labs as practical tests of undeniable scientific truths. As a result,
you may want to say that the hypothesis was “proved” or “disproved” or that it was “correct” or
“incorrect.” These terms, however, reflect a degree of certainty that you as a scientist aren’t
supposed to have. Remember, you’re testing a theory with a procedure that lasts only a few
hours and relies on only a few trials, which severely compromises your ability to be sure about
the “truth” you see. Words like “supported,” “indicated,” and “suggested” are more acceptable
ways to evaluate your hypothesis.

Also, recognize that saying whether the data supported your hypothesis or not involves making
a claim to be defended. As such, you need to show the readers that this claim is warranted by
the evidence. Make sure that you’re very explicit about the relationship between the evidence
and the conclusions you draw from it. This process is difficult for many writers because we don’t
often justify conclusions in our regular lives. For example, you might nudge your friend at a
party and whisper, “That guy’s drunk,” and once your friend lays eyes on the person in
question, she might readily agree. In a scientific paper, by contrast, you would need to defend
your claim more thoroughly by pointing to data such as slurred words, unsteady gait, and the
lampshade-as-hat. In addition to pointing out these details, you would also need to show how
(according to previous studies) these signs are consistent with inebriation, especially if they
occur in conjunction with one another. To put it another way, tell your readers exactly how you
got from point A (was the hypothesis supported?) to point B (yes/no).
Acknowledge any anomalous data, or deviations from what you expected
You need to take these exceptions and divergences into account, so that you qualify your
conclusions sufficiently. For obvious reasons, your readers will doubt your authority if you
(deliberately or inadvertently) overlook a key piece of data that doesn’t square with your
perspective on what occurred. In a more philosophical sense, once you’ve ignored evidence that
contradicts your claims, you’ve departed from the scientific method. The urge to “tidy up” the
experiment is often strong, but if you give in to it you’re no longer performing good science.
Sometimes after you’ve performed a study or experiment, you realize that some part of the
methods you used to test your hypothesis was flawed. In that case, it’s OK to suggest that if
you had the chance to conduct your test again, you might change the design in this or that
specific way in order to avoid such and such a problem. The key to making this approach work,
though, is to be very precise about the weakness in your experiment, why and how you think
that weakness might have affected your data, and how you would alter your protocol to
eliminate—or limit the effects of—that weakness. Often, inexperienced researchers and writers
feel the need to account for “wrong” data (remember, there’s no such animal), and so they
speculate wildly about what might have screwed things up. These speculations include such
factors as the unusually hot temperature in the room, or the possibility that their lab partners
read the meters wrong, or the potentially defective equipment. These explanations are what
scientists call “cop-outs,” or “lame”; don’t indicate that the experiment had a weakness unless
you’re fairly certain that a) it really occurred and b) you can explain reasonably well how that
weakness affected your results.
Derive conclusions, based on your findings, about the process you’re studying
If, for example, your hypothesis dealt with the changes in solubility at different temperatures,
then try to figure out what you can rationally say about the process of solubility more generally.
If you’re doing an undergraduate lab, chances are that the lab will connect in some way to the
material you’ve been covering either in lecture or in your reading, so you might choose to
return to these resources as a way to help you think clearly about the process as a whole.

This part of the Discussion section is another place where you need to make sure that you’re Since a lab report is argumentative—after all, you’re investigating a claim, and judging the
not overreaching. Again, nothing you’ve found in one study would remotely allow you to claim legitimacy of that claim by generating and collecting evidence—it’s often a good idea to end
that you now “know” something, or that something isn’t “true,” or that your experiment your report with the same technique for establishing your main point. If you want to go the
“confirmed” some principle or other. Hesitate before you go out on a limb—it’s dangerous! Use theoretical route, you might talk about the consequences your study has for the field or
less absolutely conclusive language, including such words as “suggest,” “indicate,” phenomenon you’re investigating. To return to the examples regarding solubility, you could end
“correspond,” “possibly,” “challenge,” etc. by reflecting on what your work on solubility as a function of temperature tells us (potentially)
about solubility in general. (Some folks consider this type of exploration “pure” as opposed to
Relate your findings to previous work in the field (if possible)
“applied” science, although these labels can be problematic.) If you want to go the practical
route, you could end by speculating about the medical, institutional, or commercial implications
We’ve been talking about how to show that you belong in a particular community (such as
of your findings—in other words, answer the question, “What can this study help people to do?”
biologists or anthropologists) by writing within conventions that they recognize and accept.
In either case, you’re going to make your readers’ experience more satisfying, by helping them
Another is to try to identify a conversation going on among members of that community, and
see why they spent their time learning what you had to teach them.
use your work to contribute to that conversation. In a larger philosophical sense, scientists can’t
fully understand the value of their research unless they have some sense of the context that
Other resources
provoked and nourished it. That is, you have to recognize what’s new about your project
(potentially, anyway) and how it benefits the wider body of scientific knowledge. On a more
Websites
pragmatic level, especially for undergraduates, connecting your lab work to previous research
will demonstrate to the TA that you see the big picture. You have an opportunity, in the
LabWrite Project 2000. [www.ncsu.edu/labwrite] A repository of great aids to writing successful
Discussion section, to distinguish yourself from the students in your class who aren’t thinking
lab reports, including pre- and post-lab checklists and a Microsoft Excel tutorial.
beyond the barest facts of the study. Capitalize on this opportunity by putting your own work in
context. University of Wisconsin-Madison Writing Center. [www.wisc.edu/writing] Useful tables
describing the content of each section and how to provide it. Includes a sample lab report.
If you’re just beginning to work in the natural sciences (as a first-year biology or chemistry
Follow the links: “Handouts” to “Academic Writing” to “Writing Science Reports.”
student, say), most likely the work you’ll be doing has already been performed and re-
performed to a satisfactory degree. Hence, you could probably point to a similar experiment or Books
study and compare/contrast your results and conclusions. More advanced work may deal with
an issue that is somewhat less “resolved,” and so previous research may take the form of an Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association. 4th edition. Washington, DC: APA
ongoing debate, and you can use your own work to weigh in on that debate. If, for example, Press, 1994.
researchers are hotly disputing the value of herbal remedies for the common cold, and the
Commonly considered a handbook of formatting and other relatively minor issues (e.g. whether
results of your study suggest that Echinacea diminishes the symptoms but not the actual
to represent numbers as numerals or words), but also features good tips for making your
presence of the cold, then you might want to take some time in the Discussion section to
writing more professional in appearance and tone. See especially the first two chapters,
recapitulate the specifics of the dispute as it relates to Echinacea as an herbal remedy.
“Content and Organization of a Manuscript” and “Expression of Ideas.”
(Consider that you have probably already written in the Introduction about this debate as
background research.) Blum, Deborah and Mary Knudson, eds. A Field Guide for Science Writers: the Official Guide of
the National Association of Science Writers. New York: Oxford University Press, 1997.
Explore the theoretical and/or practical implications of your findings

This information is often the best way to end your Discussion (and, for all intents and purposes,
the report). In argumentative writing generally, you want to use your closing words to convey
the main point of your writing. This main point can be primarily theoretical (“Now that you
understand this information, you’re in a better position to understand this larger issue”) or
primarily practical (“You can use this information to take such and such an action”). In either
case, the concluding statements help the reader to comprehend the significance of your project
and your decision to write about it.
Extremely useful as an indicator of the expectations science readers have for professional-level
writing. Lots of helpful material regarding formatting, but also includes more about stylistic
choices than do the similar CBE and APA manuals.
Booth, Wayne, Gregory G. Colomb, and Joseph M. Williams. The Craft of Research. Chicago:
University of Chicago Press, 1995.
In many writers’ opinions, the best and most practical guide to the research process. Leads the
reader through all the stages of the research process, from developing a question into a

 
problem that can be addressed, to planning and drafting, to revising for clarity and
comprehension. The last three chapters are especially helpful.
Briscoe, Mary Helen. Preparing Scientific Illustrations: a Guide to Better Posters, Presentations,
and Publications. 2nd edition. New York: Springer Publications, 1996.
Emphasis on presentations at conferences and similar forums, but also probably the most
comprehensive discussion about designing tables and graphs.
Council of Science Editors. Scientific Style and Format: the CSE Manual for Authors, Editors,
and Publishers. 7th edition. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2006.
Like the APA manual, the CSE manual is most often regarded by writers as an encyclopedia of
arcane formatting rules, but it does contain a good deal of information about science writing in
general. (Note that this used to be called the CBE Manual; the organization that produces it was
formerly called the Council of Biology Editors.)
Davis, Martha. Scientific Papers and Presentations. San Diego: Academic Press, 1997.
Similar in topic and approach to Briscoe’s work mentioned above, but more readable and less
exhaustive. A useful guide, particularly for writers who find visuals difficult to design or realize.
Day, Robert A. How to Write and Publish a Scientific Paper. 4th edition. Phoenix, AZ: Oryx
Press, 1994.
Informative and entertaining guide to what editors look for in manuscripts (and what editors
really hate in manuscripts as well). Very practical, relying heavily on anecdote to make points.
Especially helpful to professional-level science writers, but undergraduates stand to learn from
this one as well.
Porush, David. A Short Guide to Writing about Science. New York: HarperCollins, 1995.
Short, true, but accomplishes a good deal in a slim volume. If you were to choose only one of
the books listed here, this would probably be your best bet. Covers almost all aspects of writing
in the sciences in some detail-not as thoroughly as some of the specialty guides such as
Briscoe’s or Davis’s, though. Targets primarily upper-level undergraduates and beginning
researchers.
Williams, Joseph M. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 6th edition. New York: Longman,
2000.
The premier guide to improving writing style generally. Not aimed specifically at science writers,
but all ten lessons will apply to some degree. Perhaps the best (and simplest) path to clearer,
more interesting writing.

Statistics
“There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.”
—Mark Twain
The purpose of this handout is to help you use statistics to make your argument as effectively
as possible.
Introduction
Numbers are power. Apparently freed of all the squishiness and ambiguity of words, numbers
and statistics are powerful pieces of evidence that can effectively strengthen any argument. But
statistics are not a panacea. As simple and straightforward as these little numbers promise to
be, statistics, if not used carefully, can create more problems than they solve.
Many writers lack a firm grasp of the statistics they are using. The average reader does not
know how to properly evaluate and interpret the statistics he or she reads. The main reason
behind the poor use of statistics is a lack of understanding about what statistics can and cannot
do. Many people think that statistics can speak for themselves. But numbers are as ambiguous
as words and need just as much explanation.
In many ways, this problem is quite similar to that experienced with direct quotes. Too often,
quotes are expected to do all the work; are treated as part of the argument, rather than a piece
of evidence requiring interpretation (see our handout on how to quote.) But if you leave the
interpretation up to the reader, who knows what sort of off-the-wall interpretations may result?
The only way to avoid this danger is to supply the interpretation yourself.
But before we start writing statistics, let’s actually read a few.
Reading statistics
As stated before, numbers are powerful. This is one of the reasons why statistics can be such
persuasive pieces of evidence. However, this same power can also make numbers and statistics
intimidating. That is, we too often accept them as gospel, without ever questioning their
veracity or appropriateness. While this may seem like a positive trait when you plug them into
your paper and pray for your reader to submit to their power, remember that before we are
writers of statistics, we are readers. And to be effective readers means asking the hard

 
 
(MEDIAN) grade was 95.) The best way to maintain precision is to specify which of the
three forms of “average” you are using.
3. Show the entire picture
Sometimes, you may misrepresent your evidence by accident and misunderstanding. Other
times, however, misrepresentation may be slightly less innocent. This can be seen most
readily in visual aids. Do not shape and “massage” the representation so that it “best
supports” your argument. This can be achieved by presenting charts/graphs in numerous
different ways. Either the range can be shortened (to cut out data points which do not fit,
e.g., starting a time series too late or ending it too soon), or the scale can be manipulated
so that small changes look big and vice versa. Furthermore, do not fiddle with the
proportions, either vertically or horizontally. The fact that USA Today seems to get away
with these techniques does make them OK for an academic argument.
Charts A, B, and C all use the same data points, but the stories they seem to be telling are
quite different. Chart A shows a mild increase, followed by a slow decline. Chart B, on the
other hand, reveals a steep jump, with a sharp drop-off immediately following. Conversely,
Chart C seems to demonstrate that there was virtually no change over time. These
variations are a product of changing the scale of the chart. One way to alleviate this
problem is to supplement the chart by using the actual numbers in your text, in the spirit of
full disclosure.
Another point of concern can be seen in Charts D and E. Both use the same data as charts
A, B, and C for the years 1985-2000, but additional time points, using two hypothetical sets
of data, have been added back to 1965. Given the different trends leading up to 1985,
consider how the significance of recent events can change. In Chart D, the downward trend
from 1990 to 2000 is going against a long-term upward trend, whereas in Chart E, it is
merely the continuation of a larger downward trend after a brief upward turn.

One of the difficulties with visual aids is that there is no hard and fast rule about how much
to include and what to exclude. Judgment is always involved. In general, be sure to present
your visual aids so that your readers can draw their own conclusions from the facts and
verify your assertions. If what you have cut out could affect the reader’s interpretation of
your data, then you might consider keeping it.
4. Give bases of all percentages
Because percentages are always derived from a specific base, they are meaningless until
associated with a base. So even if I tell you that after this reading this handout, you will be
23% more persuasive as a writer, that is not a very meaningful assertion because you have
no idea what it is based on—23% more persuasive than what?
Let’s look at crime rates to see how this works. Suppose we have two cities, Springfield and
Shelbyville. In Springfield, the murder rate has gone up 75%, while in Shelbyville, the rate
has only increased by 10%. Which city is having a bigger murder problem? Well, that’s
obvious, right? It has to be Springfield. After all, 75% is bigger than 10%.
Hold on a second, because this is actually much less clear than it looks. In order to really
know which city has a worse problem, we have to look at the actual numbers. If I told you
that Springfield had 4 murders last year and 7 this year, and Shelbyville had 30 murders
last year and 33 murders this year, would you change your answer? Maybe, since 33
murders are significantly more than 7. One would certainly feel safer in Springfield, right?
Not so fast, because we still do not have all the facts. We have to make the comparison
between the two based on equivalent standards. To do that, we have to look at the per
capita rate (often given in rates per 100,000 people per year). If Springfield has 700
residents while Shelbyville has 3.3 million, then Springfield has a murder rate of 1,000 per
100,000 people, and Shelbyville’s rate is merely 1 per 100,000. Gadzooks! The residents of
Springfield are dropping like flies. I think I’ll stick with nice, safe Shelbyville, thank you
very much.
Percentages are really no different from any other form of statistics: they gain their
meaning only through their context. Consequently, percentages should be presented in
context so that readers can draw their own conclusions as you emphasize facts important
to your argument. Remember, if your statistics really do support your point, then you
should have no fear of revealing the larger context that frames them.

Important questions to ask (and answer) about statistics

Is the question being asked relevant?

Do the data come from reliable sources?
Margin of error/confidence interval—when is a change really a change?
Summary: Using it Wisely
Are all data reported, or just the best/worst?
Are the data presented in context?
Have the data been interpreted correctly?
Does the author confuse correlation with causation?
Conclusion Knowing how to summarize something you have read, seen, or heard is a valuable skill, one
you have probably used in many writing assignments. It is important, though, to recognize
Now that you have learned the lessons of statistics, you have two options. Use this when you must go beyond describing, explaining, and restating texts and offer a more complex
knowledge to manipulate your numbers to your advantage, or use this knowledge to better analysis. This handout will help you distinguish between summary and analysis and avoid
understand and use statistics to make accurate and fair arguments. The choice is yours. inappropriate summary in your academic writing.
Nine out of ten writers, however, prefer the latter, and the other one later regrets his or
her decision. Is summary a bad thing?

Not necessarily. But it’s important that your keep your assignment and your audience in mind
as you write. If your assignment requires an argument with a thesis statement and supporting
evidence—as many academic writing assignments do—then you should limit the amount of
summary in your paper. You might use summary to provide background, set the stage, or
illustrate supporting evidence, but keep it very brief: a few sentences should do the trick. Most
of your paper should focus on your argument. (Our handout on argument will help you
construct a good one.)

Writing a summary of what you know about your topic before you start drafting your actual
paper can sometimes be helpful. If you are unfamiliar with the material you’re analyzing, you
may need to summarize what you’ve read in order to understand your reading and get your
thoughts in order. Once you figure out what you know about a subject, it’s easier to decide
what you want to argue.

You may also want to try some other pre-writing activities that can help you develop your own
analysis. Outlining, freewriting, and mapping make it easier to get your thoughts on the page.
(Check out our handout on brainstorming for some suggested techniques.)

Why is it so tempting to stick with summary and skip analysis?

Many writers rely too heavily on summary because it is what they can most easily write. If
you’re stalled by a difficult writing prompt, summarizing the plot of The Great Gatsby may be
more appealing than staring at the computer for three hours and wondering what to say about
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s use of color symbolism. After all, the plot is usually the easiest part of a
work to understand. Something similar can happen even when what you are writing about has
no plot: if you don’t really understand an author’s argument, it might seem easiest to just
repeat what he or she said.
 
To write a more analytical paper, you may need to review the text or film you are writing
about, with a focus on the elements that are relevant to your thesis. If possible, carefully
consider your writing assignment before reading, viewing, or listening to the material about
which you’ll be writing so that your encounter with the material will be more purposeful. (We
offer a handout on reading towards writing.)
How do I know if I’m summarizing?
As you read through your essay, ask yourself the following questions:
Am I stating something that would be obvious to a reader or viewer?
Does my essay move through the plot, history, or author’s argument in chronological order,
or in the exact same order the author used?
Am I simply describing what happens, where it happens, or whom it happens to?
A “yes” to any of these questions may be a sign that you are summarizing. If you answer yes to
the questions below, though, it is a sign that your paper may have more analysis (which is
usually a good thing):
Am I making an original argument about the text?
Have I arranged my evidence around my own points, rather than just following the author’s
or plot’s order?
Am I explaining why or how an aspect of the text is significant?
Certain phrases are warning signs of summary. Keep an eye out for these:
“[This essay] is about…”
“[This book] is the story of…”
“[This author] writes about…”
“[This movie] is set in…”
Here’s an example of an introductory paragraph containing unnecessary summary. Sentences
that summarize are in italics:
The Great Gatsby is the story of a mysterious millionaire, Jay Gatsby, who lives alone on an
island in New York. F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote the book, but the narrator is Nick Carraway. Nick
is Gatsby’s neighbor, and he chronicles the story of Gatsby and his circle of friends, beginning
with his introduction to the strange man and ending with Gatsby’s tragic death. In the story,
Nick describes his environment through various colors, including green, white, and grey.
Whereas white and grey symbolize false purity and decay respectively, the color green offers a
symbol of hope.
Here’s how you might change the paragraph to make it a more effective introduction:

In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald provides readers with detailed descriptions of the area
surrounding East Egg, New York. In fact, Nick Carraway’s narration describes the setting with
as much detail as the characters in the book. Nick’s description of his environment presents the
book’s themes, symbolizing significant aspects of the post-World War I era. Whereas white and
grey symbolize the false purity and decay of the 1920s, the color green offers a symbol of
hope.
This version of the paragraph mentions the book’s title, author, setting, and narrator so that
the reader is reminded of the text. And that sounds a lot like summary—but the paragraph
quickly moves on to the writer’s own main topic: the setting and its relationship to the main
themes of the book. The paragraph then closes with the writer’s specific thesis about the
symbolism of white, grey, and green.
How do I write more analytically?
Analysis requires breaking something—like a story, poem, play, theory, or argument—into parts
so you can understand how those parts work together to make the whole. Ideally, you should
begin to analyze a work as you read or view it instead of waiting until after you’re done—it may
help you to jot down some notes as you read. Your notes can be about major themes or ideas
you notice, as well as anything that intrigues, puzzles, excites, or irritates you. Remember,
analytic writing goes beyond the obvious to discuss questions of how and why—so ask yourself
those questions as you read.
The St. Martin’s Handbook (the bulleted material below is quoted from p. 38 of the fifth edition)
encourages readers to take the following steps in order to analyze a text:
Identify evidence that supports or illustrates the main point or theme as well as anything
that seems to contradict it.
Consider the relationship between the words and the visuals in the work. Are they well
integrated, or are they sometimes at odds with one another? What functions do the visuals
serve? To capture attention? To provide more detailed information or illustration? To appeal
to readers’ emotions?
Decide whether the sources used are trustworthy.
Identify the work’s underlying assumptions about the subject, as well as any biases it
reveals.
Once you have written a draft, some questions you might want to ask yourself about your
writing are “What’s my point?” or “What am I arguing in this paper?” If you can’t answer these
questions, then you haven’t gone beyond summarizing. You may also want to think about how
much of your writing comes from your own ideas or arguments. If you’re only reporting
someone else’s ideas, you probably aren’t offering an analysis.
What strategies can help me avoid excessive summary?

 Read the assignment (the prompt) as soon as you get it. Make sure to reread it before you York: Longman, 2000.
start writing. Go back to your assignment often while you write. (Check out our handout on
reading assignments). Corrigan, Timothy. A Short Guide to Writing About Film. 4th ed. New York: Longman, 2001.
Formulate an argument (including a good thesis) and be sure that your final draft is
Lunsford, Andrea A. The St. Martin’s Handbook. 5th ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2003.
structured around it, including aspects of the plot, story, history, background, etc. only as
evidence for your argument. (You can refer to our handout on constructing thesis Zinsser, William. On Writing Well. 5th ed. New York: Harper Perennial, 1994.
statements).
Read critically—imagine having a dialogue with the work you are discussing. What parts do “Strategies for Avoiding Plot Summary.” Temple University Writing Center. 18 January 2005
you agree with? What parts do you disagree with? What questions do you have about the <http://www.temple.edu/writingctr/student_resources/plot_summary.htm>.
work? Does it remind you of other works you’ve seen?
Make sure you have clear topic sentences that make arguments in support of your thesis
statement. (Read our handout on paragraph development if you want to work on writing
strong paragraphs).
Use two different highlighters to mark your paper. With one color, highlight areas of
summary or description. With the other, highlight areas of analysis. For many college
papers, it’s a good idea to have lots of analysis and minimal summary/description.
Ask yourself: What part of the essay would be obvious to a reader/viewer of the work being
discussed? What parts (words, sentences, paragraphs) of the essay could be deleted
without loss? In most cases, your paper should focus on points that are essential and that
will be interesting to people who have already read or seen the work you are writing about.

But I’m writing a review! Don’t I have to summarize?

That depends. If you’re writing a critique of a piece of literature, a film, or a dramatic

performance, you don’t necessarily need to give away much of the plot. The point is to let
readers decide whether they want to enjoy it for themselves. If you do summarize, keep your
summary brief and to the point.

Instead of telling your readers that the play, book, or film was “boring,” “interesting,” or “really
good,” tell them specifically what parts of the work you’re talking about. It’s also important that
you go beyond adjectives and explain how the work achieved its effect (how was it interesting?)
and why you think the author/director wanted the audience to react a certain way. (We have a
special handout on writing reviews that offers more tips.)

If you’re writing a review of an academic book or article, it may be important for you to
summarize the main ideas and give an overview of the organization so your readers can decide
whether it is relevant to their specific research interests.

If you are unsure how much (if any) summary a particular assignment requires, ask your
instructor for guidance.

Bibliography

Barnet, Sylvan and Cain, William E. A Short Guide to Writing about Literature. 8th ed. New

 

Thesis Statements
This handout describes what a thesis statement is, how thesis statements work in your writing,
and how you can discover or refine one for your draft.
Introduction
Writing in college often takes the form of persuasion—convincing others that you have an
interesting, logical point of view on the subject you are studying. Persuasion is a skill you
practice regularly in your daily life. You persuade your roommate to clean up, your parents to
let you borrow the car, your friend to vote for your favorite candidate or policy. In college,
course assignments often ask you to make a persuasive case in writing. You are asked to
convince your reader of your point of view. This form of persuasion, often called academic
argument, follows a predictable pattern in writing. After a brief introduction of your topic, you
state your point of view on the topic directly and often in one sentence. This sentence is the
thesis statement, and it serves as a summary of the argument you’ll make in the rest of your
paper.
What is a thesis statement?
A thesis statement:
tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under
discussion.
is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest
of the paper.
directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or
subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or
Moby Dick; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the novel.
makes a claim that others might dispute.
is usually a single sentence somewhere in your first paragraph that presents your argument
to the reader. The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence
that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.
If your assignment asks you to take a position or develop a claim about a subject, you may
need to convey that position or claim in a thesis statement near the beginning of your draft.
The assignment may not explicitly state that you need a thesis statement because your
 
instructor may assume you will include one. When in doubt, ask your instructor if the
assignment requires a thesis statement. When an assignment asks you to analyze, to interpret,
to compare and contrast, to demonstrate cause and effect, or to take a stand on an issue, it is
likely that you are being asked to develop a thesis and to support it persuasively. (Check out
our handout on understanding assignments for more information.)
How do I get a thesis?
A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Formulating a thesis is not the first thing
you do after reading an essay assignment. Before you develop an argument on any topic, you
have to collect and organize evidence, look for possible relationships between known facts
(such as surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of these
relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a “working thesis,” a basic or
main idea, an argument that you think you can support with evidence but that may need
adjustment along the way.
Writers use all kinds of techniques to stimulate their thinking and to help them clarify
relationships or comprehend the broader significance of a topic and arrive at a thesis
statement. For more ideas on how to get started, see our handout on brainstorming.
How do I know if my thesis is strong?
If there’s time, run it by your instructor or make an appointment at the Writing Center to get
some feedback. Even if you do not have time to get advice elsewhere, you can do some thesis
evaluation of your own. When reviewing your first draft and its working thesis, ask yourself the
following:
Do I answer the question? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working
thesis can help you fix an argument that misses the focus of the question.
Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose?If your thesis simply
states facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, it’s possible that you are
simply providing a summary, rather than making an argument.
Is my thesis statement specific enough?
Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong argument. If your thesis
contains words like “good” or “successful,” see if you could be more specific: why is something
“good”; what specifically makes something “successful”?
Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? If a reader’s first response is, “So what?” then
you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue.
Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and the
body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. It’s o.k. to
change your working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the course of writing
your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.
 Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? If a reader’s first response is “how?” or
“why?” your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. See what you
can add to give the reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.
Examples
Suppose you are taking a course on 19th-century America, and the instructor hands out the
following essay assignment: Compare and contrast the reasons why the North and South fought
the Civil War. You turn on the computer and type out the following:
The North and South fought the Civil War for many reasons, some of which were the same and
some different.
This weak thesis restates the question without providing any additional information. You will
expand on this new information in the body of the essay, but it is important that the reader
know where you are heading. A reader of this weak thesis might think, “What reasons? How are
they the same? How are they different?” Ask yourself these same questions and begin to
compare Northern and Southern attitudes (perhaps you first think, “The South believed slavery
was right, and the North thought slavery was wrong”). Now, push your comparison toward an
interpretation—why did one side think slavery was right and the other side think it was wrong?
You look again at the evidence, and you decide that you are going to argue that the North
believed slavery was immoral while the South believed it upheld the Southern way of life. You
write:
While both sides fought the Civil War over the issue of slavery, the North fought for moral
reasons while the South fought to preserve its own institutions.
Now you have a working thesis! Included in this working thesis is a reason for the war and
some idea of how the two sides disagreed over this reason. As you write the essay, you will
probably begin to characterize these differences more precisely, and your working thesis may
start to seem too vague. Maybe you decide that both sides fought for moral reasons, and that
they just focused on different moral issues. You end up revising the working thesis into a final
thesis that really captures the argument in your paper:
While both Northerners and Southerners believed they fought against tyranny and oppression,
Northerners focused on the oppression of slaves while Southerners defended their own right to
self-government.
Compare this to the original weak thesis. This final thesis presents a way of interpreting
evidence that illuminates the significance of the question. Keep in mind that this is one of many
possible interpretations of the Civil War—it is not the one and only right answer to the question.
There isn’t one right answer; there are only strong and weak thesis statements and strong and
weak uses of evidence.
Let’s look at another example. Suppose your literature professor hands out the following

assignment in a class on the American novel: Write an analysis of some aspect of Mark Twain’s
novel Huckleberry Finn. “This will be easy,” you think. “I loved Huckleberry Finn!” You grab a
pad of paper and write:
Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.
Why is this thesis weak? Think about what the reader would expect from the essay that follows:
you will most likely provide a general, appreciative summary of Twain’s novel. The question did
not ask you to summarize; it asked you to analyze. Your professor is probably not interested in
your opinion of the novel; instead, she wants you to think about whyit’s such a great novel—
what do Huck’s adventures tell us about life, about America, about coming of age, about race
relations, etc.? First, the question asks you to pick an aspect of the novel that you think is
important to its structure or meaning—for example, the role of storytelling, the contrasting
scenes between the shore and the river, or the relationships between adults and children. Now
you write:
In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the
shore.
Here’s a working thesis with potential: you have highlighted an important aspect of the novel
for investigation; however, it’s still not clear what your analysis will reveal. Your reader is
intrigued, but is still thinking, “So what? What’s the point of this contrast? What does it
signify?” Perhaps you are not sure yet, either. That’s fine—begin to work on comparing scenes
from the book and see what you discover. Free write, make lists, jot down Huck’s actions and
reactions. Eventually you will be able to clarify for yourself, and then for the reader, why this
contrast matters. After examining the evidence and considering your own insights, you write:
Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find
the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go
back to nature.
This final thesis statement presents an interpretation of a literary work based on an analysis of
its content. Of course, for the essay itself to be successful, you must now present evidence
from the novel that will convince the reader of your interpretation.
Works consulted
Anson, Chris M. and Robert A. Schwegler. The Longman Handbook for Writers. 2nd ed. New
York: Longman, 2000.
Hairston, Maxine and John J. Ruszkiewicz. The Scott, Foresman Handbook for Writers. 4th ed.
New York: HarperCollins, 1996.
Lunsford, Andrea and Robert Connors. The St. Martin’s Handbook. 3rd ed. New York: St.
Martin’s, 1995.
Rosen, Leonard J. and Laurence Behrens. The Allyn & Bacon Handbook. 3rd ed. Boston: Allyn &
Bacon, 1997.

 pieces of several people’s writing together.

Organization

Transitions Since the clarity and effectiveness of your transitions will depend greatly on how well you have
organized your paper, you may want to evaluate your paper’s organization before you work on
transitions. In the margins of your draft, summarize in a word or short phrase what each
paragraph is about or how it fits into your analysis as a whole. This exercise should help you to
see the order of and connection between your ideas more clearly.
In this crazy, mixed-up world of ours, transitions glue our ideas and our essays together. This
If after doing this exercise you find that you still have difficulty linking your ideas together in a
handout will introduce you to some useful transitional expressions and help you employ them
coherent fashion, your problem may not be with transitions but with organization. For help in
effectively.
this area (and a more thorough explanation of the “reverse outlining” technique described in
the previous paragraph), please see the Writing Center’s handout on organization.
The function and importance of transitions

How transitions work

In both academic writing and professional writing, your goal is to convey information clearly
and concisely, if not to convert the reader to your way of thinking. Transitions help you to
The organization of your written work includes two elements: (1)the order in which you have
achieve these goals by establishing logical connections between sentences, paragraphs, and
chosen to present the different parts of your discussion or argument, and (2) the relationships
sections of your papers. In other words, transitions tell readers what to do with the information
you construct between these parts. Transitions cannot substitute for good organization, but
you present to them. Whether single words, quick phrases or full sentences, they function as
they can make your organization clearer and easier to follow. Take a look at the following
signs for readers that tell them how to think about, organize, and react to old and new ideas as
example:
they read through what you have written.
El Pais, a Latin American country, has a new democratic government after having been a
Transitions signal relationships between ideas such as: “Another example coming up—stay
dictatorship for many years. Assume that you want to argue that El Pais is not as democratic as
alert!” or “Here’s an exception to my previous statement” or “Although this idea appears to be
the conventional view would have us believe. One way to effectively organize your argument
true, here’s the real story.” Basically, transitions provide the reader with directions for how to
would be to present the conventional view and then to provide the reader with your critical
piece together your ideas into a logically coherent argument. Transitions are not just verbal
response to this view. So, in Paragraph A you would enumerate all the reasons that someone
decorations that embellish your paper by making it sound or read better. They are words with
might consider El Pais highly democratic, while in Paragraph B you would refute these points.
particular meanings that tell the reader to think and react in a particular way to your ideas. In
The transition that would establish the logical connection between these two key elements of
providing the reader with these important cues, transitions help readers understand the logic of
your argument would indicate to the reader that the information in paragraph B contradicts the
how your ideas fit together.
information in paragraph A. As a result, you might organize your argument, including the
transition that links paragraph A with paragraph B, in the following manner:
Signs that you might need to work on your transitions

Paragraph A: points that support the view that El Pais’s new government is very democratic.
How can you tell whether you need to work on your transitions? Here are some possible clues:
Transition: Despite the previous arguments, there are many reasons to think that El Pais’s
Your instructor has written comments like “choppy,” “jumpy,” “abrupt,” “flow,” “need new government is not as democratic as typically believed.
signposts,” or “how is this related?” on your papers.
Your readers (instructors, friends, or classmates) tell you that they had trouble following Paragraph B: points that contradict the view that El Pais’s new government is very democratic.
your organization or train of thought.
In this case, the transition words “Despite the previous arguments,” suggest that the reader
You tend to write the way you think—and your brain often jumps from one idea to another
should not believe paragraph A and instead should consider the writer’s reasons for viewing El
pretty quickly.
Pais’s democracy as suspect.
You wrote your paper in several discrete “chunks” and then pasted them together.
You are working on a group paper; the draft you are working on was created by pasting
 
As the example suggests, transitions can help reinforce the underlying logic of your paper’s LOGICAL TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSION
organization by providing the reader with essential information regarding the relationship RELATIONSHIP
between your ideas. In this way, transitions act as the glue that binds the components of your Similarity also, in the same way, just as … so too, likewise, similarly
argument or discussion into a unified, coherent, and persuasive whole.
Exception/Contrast but, however, in spite of, on the one hand … on the other hand,
nevertheless, nonetheless, notwithstanding, in contrast, on the
Types of transitions
contrary, still, yet
Sequence/Order first, second, third, … next, then, finally
Now that you have a general idea of how to go about developing effective transitions in your
Time after, afterward, at last, before, currently, during, earlier,
writing, let us briefly discuss the types of transitions your writing will use.
immediately, later, meanwhile, now, recently, simultaneously,
The types of transitions available to you are as diverse as the circumstances in which you need subsequently, then
to use them. A transition can be a single word, a phrase, a sentence, or an entire paragraph. In Example for example, for instance, namely, specifically, to illustrate
each case, it functions the same way: first, the transition either directly summarizes the Emphasis even, indeed, in fact, of course, truly
content of a preceding sentence, paragraph, or section or implies such a summary (by
Place/Position above, adjacent, below, beyond, here, in front, in back, nearby, there
reminding the reader of what has come before). Then it helps the reader anticipate or
Cause and Effect accordingly, consequently, hence, so, therefore, thus
comprehend the new information that you wish to present.
Additional Support or additionally, again, also, and, as well, besides, equally important,
1. Transitions between sections—Particularly in longer works, it may be necessary to Evidence further, furthermore, in addition, moreover, then
include transitional paragraphs that summarize for the reader the information just covered Conclusion/Summary finally, in a word, in brief, briefly, in conclusion, in the end, in the final
and specify the relevance of this information to the discussion in the following section. analysis, on the whole, thus, to conclude, to summarize, in sum, to
2. Transitions between paragraphs—If you have done a good job of arranging paragraphs sum up, in summary
so that the content of one leads logically to the next, the transition will highlight a
relationship that already exists by summarizing the previous paragraph and suggesting
something of the content of the paragraph that follows. A transition between paragraphs
can be a word or two (however, for example, similarly), a phrase, or a sentence.
Transitions can be at the end of the first paragraph, at the beginning of the second
paragraph, or in both places.
3. Transitions within paragraphs—As with transitions between sections and paragraphs,
transitions within paragraphs act as cues by helping readers to anticipate what is coming
before they read it. Within paragraphs, transitions tend to be single words or short phrases.

Transitional expressions

Effectively constructing each transition often depends upon your ability to identify words or
phrases that will indicate for the reader the kind of logical relationships you want to convey.
The table below should make it easier for you to find these words or phrases. Whenever you
have trouble finding a word, phrase, or sentence to serve as an effective transition, refer to the
information in the table for assistance. Look in the left column of the table for the kind of logical
relationship you are trying to express. Then look in the right column of the table for examples
of words or phrases that express this logical relationship.

Keep in mind that each of these words or phrases may have a slightly different meaning.
Consult a dictionary or writer’s handbook if you are unsure of the exact meaning of a word or
phrase.