The Psychological Self: My favorite mystery

Introduction:
 When asked by the question who are you, answers
may vary from time to time. The answer we have now,
may be different from the answer we will have later,
tomorrow, the next day. We may even find that the
answer we had is no longer true.
 At times, we may even feel that our answer is
incomplete. We often feel that even words are not
enough to give a description of who we really.
 There are several factors which includes the
expectations of others from us, like the way they want
us to behave. We also include our expectations from ourselves like when we
often feel like we are underachieving, or when we feel like we are always falling
short or like we are always below everybody else.

This is analogous to the capacity of water

to have shape when placed in a container.
Basically, water is shapeless. However, it
has the capacity to fit into all container, and
when solidified, given enough factor, it may
take the form of its container.

The Self/Self-concept
 According to Car Rogers, the self or our
concept of the self is an organized,
consistent set of perceptions of and
beliefs about one self.
 Sometimes we believe that we are
victors, at times we feel like we are
losers, still sometimes we feel like we
are very handsome or beautiful, at
some points, we will consider our selves
as ugly. These perceptions, these ideas
about ourselves are referred to as self-
schemas.
 Self schemas are formed by several
factors: past experiences, personality traits, abilities, physical features, values,
goals, social roles, observations, and feedbacks from others.
 What makes the self water-like is its capacity to adapt into that which contains it.
Real and Ideal Selves
 As discussed in the philosophical self, we
have the capacity to abstract, or go beyond
our immediate surroundings. We have the
capacity to imagine. This means that while
we have a grasp of the self we have now, we
can also imagine ourselves to be someone
better.
 This ability to perceive our ‘possible’ and
‘better’ selves should guide us in becoming
the best version of our selves.
 In here, we will be referring to our ability to go
beyond the immediate as visual imagining exercises. The key factor here is to be
specific in the aspect of your self that you wish to be better in.
 When we say possible self, we can also include a visualizing of a worse self. The
image of a worse self can work as a preventive activity in order for us not to
become a worse version of our selves.
 Now, we try to determine how far are we
from our vision of ideal selves. In gauging this, we
are actually identifying our congruence with the
ideal self. Are we becoming similar to the person
we aspire to be, or the person we thought is our
ideal selves?
 If you find however that you are far from
the person you really want to be, there is what we
call incongruence, there is a misalignment or
disparity or a huge gap between our real self and
our ideal self.
 This may possibly lead to anxiety or
disappointment, and may even result to low self-esteem and low self-worth. What
do we mean when we say self esteem?

Self-esteem and Self-efficacy

 Self esteem refers to one’s overall assessment of
one’s worth as a person. It refers to how we value
our selves and perceive our worth as a person.
 Now, our self esteem may be derived from our
successes and failure in different aspects of our
lives. We find ourselves more valuable for
example when we excel in our relationships with
each other, or when we excel in our spiritual life,
or when we excel in our academic endeavors, or
when we excel physically like when we are
stronger and firmer. However, we cannot deny that we cannot excel in all aspects
of our lives and at times, we would fail in some of them. So, our self esteem
depends on what we consider as the successes that matter and the failures that
matter, and how significantly we treat these successes and failures.
  Self efficacy refers to how we perform and function. We need to take note that
when we become better in performing a particular act, our self-esteem improves.
 Now, we need to note also that increase in self esteem does not necessarily
result to self efficacy, as when we think highly of ourselves but we don’t actually
exert effort in performing and functioning.

Proper motivations
 We need to face the fact that our self-esteem and
self-efficacy is not only a product of our lone
efforts. Our self-esteem and self-efficacy often
result from other’s unconditional positive regard.
However, there are times that we feel like we have
no source of positive regard or moral support.
 It is where the benefit of the doubt comes in. This
means that we should not conclude immediately
that other people are not supporting us. What we
need to do is to entertain the possibility that their
support may be manifested in some other ways.
 In the long run, as we realize our need for the
unconditional positive regard of others, we too realize that we have the capacity
to help other people be the better versions of themselves by giving the same
unconditional positive regard that we need.
 In this regard, we don’t aspire to be perfect. We aspire rather to be better and
better every day.

Conclusion
 What we need to do is to invest on ourselves.
 Study ways wherein we can be better.
Explore. When faced with circumstances that
demoralizes you, like when people
discourage you to do what you like, take it as
a chance to become better instead.
 Never succumb to the impression of others,
because at the end of the day, it will be you
who will experience depression and stress.
 Free your selves from beliefs that decreases
your self esteem and would result to the
reduction of your self-efficacy and embrace
the beliefs that will help you increase your self esteem thus increasing your self-
efficacy as well.