Recently teenagers using the internet for cyberbullying governments should be stop of this

type situations with laws.Laws must protect societys and everyperson.

First of all, why do people, or mostly teenagers, cyberbully? Because they are hiding behind

the screen.Nobody can reach them therefore they are very relaxed.Just create anounymus

account and they can do whatever they want.This is horrible for innocent people.

According to expert ıf person wants a social media accounts uses identification

number.Because if person uses identification number polices find him easily.And judged by

law however, if the website owner is malicious person we are finished.Website owner use

our identification number and will be rich therefore governments should making laws like

imprisonment for a long time or wifi banned forever for him.İn every way governments

should a find solution quickly because it makes people's days worse therefore peoples will

suicade

As a result ıf governemnts want a great society they should find a solution and teaching

peoples. because future in danger in this situation.

Oğuzhan, this is too short. There are only two sentences in introduction and the conclusion,

and they are very short sentences. Thesis statement is missing in the introduction. The first

body doesn’t discuss laws at all. Besides, don’t ask questions in your essay. This is not a blog

post. In the second body, you don’t emphasize the necessity of laws against cyberbullying.

You are not expected to discuss the reasons of or solutions to cyberbullying. Your essay is

slightly off-topic.

Grade

Paragraphing 2 pts/1

Introduction of the Topic in the Introduction Paragraph 2 pts/1

Thesis Statement 4 pts/0

Topic Sentences (one for each body paragraph) 4 pts/0

 Supporting Ideas with Relevant Examples and Explanations 8 pts/2

A Brief/Effective Conclusion 2 pts/1

Coherence 4 pts/1

USE OF LANGUAGE (24 pts)

Grammatical Range and Accuracy 10 pts/4

Lexical Range and Accuracy 10 pts/5

Punctuation and Spelling 4 pts/2

Total: 17