Styles of Love

Lemuel Paat
&
Jessea Alyanna Maderazo
 Love is a complex and powerful force, one that plays out in a
number of emotional, cognitive and social ways. According to the
late psychologist John Alan Lee, there are six broad styles of
love: Agape, Ludus, Storge, Eros, Mania and Pragma.
 Eros
(romantic love)

This style is typically experienced as a romantic, fairytale-type love. Physical beauty is important to this love
style. Attraction is intense and immediate (“head over heels”), and the Eros lover feels an urgent drive to deepen
the relationship emotionally and physically.
Because these individuals love the feeling of being in love, they tend to be serial monogamists, staying in a
relationship as long as it feels fresh and compelling, then moving on so they can experience those same feelings
again with someone new.
Therefore, it is usually associated with romantic, passionate, and physical love. It is an expression of sexual
passion and desire. this is physical love. It is passionate, and the closest description is romantic love. Eros or
Cupid was a god of love who was blindfolded to indicate that "love is blind." Eros love is consuming and is
considered connected to our life force and part of survival. Eros love is something we do not have any control
over; it controls us. It is needy, dependent, controlling, and powerful. Eros is also deeply connected to lust
because of this.
 Storge
(friendship)

Storgic types tend to be stable and committed in their relationships. They value

 companionship, psychological closeness and trust. For these individuals, love
relationships can sometimes grow out of friendships, so that love sneaks up on the pair.
This love style is enduring, and these individuals are in it for the long haul.
In other words, it is the kind of love that you feel for your friends. This is a subset of
philia which is only for familial relations like parents, children, or siblings. Storage is
different because it is related to dependency and familiarity rather than chosen through
mutual feeling. We do not choose to experience storge; it's simply part of our relationship
with that person.
 Ludus
(game-playing love)

People with a ludic style view love as a game that they are playing to win. Often this can be a
multiplayer game! Ludic individuals are comfortable with deception and manipulation in their
relationships. They tend to be low on commitment and are often emotionally distant.
Because ludic individuals are more focused on the short term, they tend to place greater importance on
the physical characteristics of their mate than do the other love styles. They are also more likely to
engage in sexual hookups.
Ludus is about enjoying the moment. It is playful love. It can be confused for eros which is often the
case of unrequited love, but it is strictly platonic like philia. Ludus is casual, fun, and can be long lasting
like in the case of close friendships. It is a shared experience without the pressure of eros or the physical
urges that accompany it. Ludus requires time to grow and mature, it is a following on of philia beyond
the initial friendship stage.
 Pragma
(logical love)

Practicality rules for this type. Logic is used to determine compatibility and future prospects. This doesn’t mean that
these individuals use an emotionless, Spock-like approach to their relationships, rather they a place a 
high importance on whether a potential mate will be suited to meeting their needs.
These needs might be social or financial. Pragmatists might wonder if their prospective partner would be accepted by
family and friends, or whether they’re good with money. The might also evaluate their emotional assets; for example,
does a would-be partner have the skills to be calm in times of stress?
So basivcally, logical often refers to predictability, stability and calculated risk.
Being logical is to love someone who is caring, kind, approved by friends and family, and who loves you more than
you do.
So if you are under in this type of love, it means finding someone with a stable job, decent background, whereby you
could easily project a future with him 10, 20 years down the road. Someone you know with a stable career and income
progression, someone to discuss with the type of car and house you guys can afford and want to have in the future, your
future kids and so on.
 Mania
(possessive/ excited love)

This refers to an obsessive love style. These individuals tend to be emotionally dependent and to need
fairly constant reassurance in a relationship. Someone with this love style is likely to experience peaks
of joy and troughs of sorrow, depending on the extent to which their partner can accommodate their
needs.
Because of the possessiveness associated with this style, jealousy can be an issue for these individuals.
Honestly, in my own opinion I dont even know if I should consider this as love, or as a style of love.
Because first, love and possession are two different things. And Im also not sure if being possessive is a
way of showing love to your partner because we all know that in love there’s trust, in love there’s
willingness to share, there’s comfort and space for each individual that makes up the couple. And in
possessiveness, there’s jealousy, there’s selfishness and distrust on behalf of the possessive and there’s
no freedom for the other party. It’s a relationship that leads to total destruction.
 Agape
(selfless love)
Agapic individuals are giving and caring, and are centred on their partner’s needs. This is largely a
selfless and unconditional love. An agapic partner will love you just as you are. But they will also
be particularly appreciative of acts of care and kindness that they receive back from their partner.
Perhaps because these individuals are so accepting, they tend to have very high levels of
relationship satisfaction.
If I were to choose between the six styles of love, I think this is my favorite because this type of
love is also considered as the universal love. It doesn’t just revolve around your family, your circle
of friends, to people you know because this type of love is for everybody such as the love for
strangers, love for nature, love for God. Everything.