Friends Subtitle Season 8

Season 8 – All Subtitles
Season 8 Episode 1
Season 8 Episode 2
{18}{121}Listen, I don't care|what the computer says.
{126}{206}We didn't take a bag|of Meshugga Nuts.
{212}{331}And we did not watch|{y:i}Dr. Do-Me-A-Little.
{361}{476}- Were you in our room last night?|- No.
{643}{740}I was told the movie's name|wouldn't appear on the bill.
{760}{881}- Checking out of the bridal suite.|- Right, I'm no longer a
bride.
{886}{1006}I'll never be a bride again.|Now I'm just someone's wife.
{1025}{1115}And I'm the happiest guy|in the world.
{1120}{1239}- We have so much to look forward to.|- Yeah, right.
{1245}{1316}- The honeymoon.|- That's not till Thursday.
{1321}{1380}- Wedding pictures.|- It takes weeks.
{1385}{1524}- Not the disposable cameras.|- I knew I married you for a
reason!
{1537}{1626}I'll go get them developed,|and you can go home.
{1706}{1831}- What did you take a picture of?|- Nothing. It was something.
{1851}{1921}Ross has the cameras.|Is he checked out yet?
{1926}{2001}Are you joking?|Checkout is not till noon.
{2006}{2109}- And he has a good 11 minutes left.|- So?
{2114}{2194}He never checks out a minute|before he has to.
{2199}{2352}Once we got a late checkout, he got|so excited, it was our
best sex ever.
{2358}{2446}Until he screamed out "Radisson"|at the end.
{2476}{2591}Okay, I'll get Ross, get the cameras|and get them developed.
{2621}{2692}Thirty-two, Joe. You're 32!
{2750}{2807}- Here's your bill.|- Thanks.
{2818}{2902}Champagne, strawberries...
{2908}{3056}Oh, my God! I can't believe Chandler|ordered porn on our
wedding night.
{3075}{3181}Yeah, that's sad.|Meshugga Nut?
{3201}{3251}The One With the Red Sweater
{3276}{3476}Ripped by|mrnch@dh.net.mk
{3501}{3701}Subtitles processed by|Subtitle Editor (c) Digital
Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004
{4228}{4314}Soaps, shampoos.|Are you really taking all this?
{4319}{4451}- Why not? It's included in the price.|- Yeah, but you don't
need...
{4457}{4545}- What is this?|- Thread.
{4556}{4658}Score!|Where are the disposable cameras?
{4663}{4759}- What cameras?|- Last night I asked you to take them.
{4764}{4863}- No, you didn't.|- Yes, before we cut the cake, I said...
{4868}{5006}Yeah, you asked me for a favor. Then|my Uncle Murray gave you
a check.
{5012}{5126}Then you said, "Why is it called|a check? Why not a
Yugoslavian?"
{5196}{5303}- Yeah, then you did that.|- So you don't have the cameras?
{5308}{5387}- No, sorry.|- They're gone? Monica's gonna freak!
{5392}{5472}They're here somewhere.|I'll help you look.
{5477}{5556}- Great.|- In three minutes.
{5977}{6061}You're gonna open the presents|without Chandler?
{6141}{6268}They're calling out to me.|This guy even crawled into my lap.
{6273}{6382}He wouldn't mind if I opened one.|What do you think it is?
{6388}{6551}A mirror that when you look into it,|you see yourself as an
old woman.
{6592}{6645}A tiny salt shaker!
{6650}{6742}Oh, my God, for tiny salt!
{6747}{6827}Oh, wow! Okay, that was fun.
{6833}{6941}Okay, I'll wait for Chandler|to open up the rest.
{6968}{7106}Although, you know, this is|part of a salt-and-pepper set.
{7111}{7188}It's only half a present.|What do you think?
{7193}{7298}It's okay to open one more if|it's a set. It's probably this
one.
{7303}{7351}Or this one!
{7432}{7532}- Got any morning sickness?|- The guys don't know, do they?
{7537}{7606}No. Chandler thinks Phoebe's pregnant.
{7620}{7700}Right. Chandler still thinks|I'm pregnant.
{7705}{7800}He hasn't asked me how I feel,|or offered to carry my bags.
{7805}{7896}I feel bad for the woman|who ends up with him.
{7923}{7986}After you, of course.
{7991}{8124}You'll only be pregnant a few more|hours. I'll tell the father
today.
{8129}{8201}Is it that tall guy|from the first floor?
{8207}{8295}- No!|- What? I think he's cute.
{8300}{8379}- Then you have his baby.|- I'm trying.
{8408}{8557}It's so weird. You're gonna tell|this guy today, and he has no
idea.
{8562}{8677}You'll just knock on his door|and change his life forever.
{8682}{8773}You're like Ed McMahon,|except without the big check.
{8778}{8841}Or the raw sexual magnetism.
{8877}{8997}- Yeah, I guess it's pretty big news.|- Pretty big? It's huge!
{9002}{9082}God, this guy is walking|around thinking:
{9088}{9168}"I had sex with Rachel Green.|I rock!"
{9173}{9250}Then, bam! He's a father,|everything's different.
{9255}{9354}Only if he wants it to be.|I won't ask for anything.
{9359}{9432}Okay, now he's walking|around thinking:
{9438}{9508}"Do I want to be a dad?"|Then, bam!
{9513}{9624}- What was that "bam"?|- I don't know. He's hit by a bus.
{9707}{9836}Joey, what would you do if someone you|slept with told you she
was pregnant?
{9985}{10041}Who called here?
{10065}{10171}Did she sound blond? Any accent?|I gotta make a call.
{10176}{10268}Should have never walked|into that Sunglass Hut!
{10273}{10351}It's not you!|You didn't get anyone pregnant.
{10356}{10471}Why would you scare me like that?|What the hell's going on?
{10508}{10581}Is somebody pregnant?
{10597}{10640}Oh, yeah! That's me.
{10683}{10769}Oh, my God, Pheebs!|You're gonna have a baby?
{10774}{10904}Yes, I am.|Oh, my God, I'm gonna have a baby!
{10916}{11001}- Wait, who's the father?|- You don't know him.
{11007}{11101}He wants nothing to do|with me or the baby.
{11176}{11299}Who is this guy? Because I'll track|him down and kick his
ass!
{11316}{11386}- David Linn.|- David Linn!
{11471}{11566}- Who's David Linn?|- Some annoying guy from my gym.
{11697}{11773}- Chandler?|- Did you find the cameras?
{11778}{11894}- No. Did you?|- Yes, that's why I'm under the table.
{11917}{12020}I checked in the lost and found.|No one's turned them in.
{12025}{12142}Great. Those cameras were the only|thing that will cheer
Monica up.
{12147}{12213}You just got married.|Why is she depressed?
{12218}{12363}I'm not going to ask that question.|I can't believe I
screwed this up!
{12378}{12427}I'm sorry, man.
{12475}{12572}Here's a thought.|This is the same ballroom.
{12578}{12661}There's a band.|There'll be dressed-up people.
{12666}{12741}Are you suggesting|we dance our troubles away?
{12746}{12891}No, we buy more of these, throw our|tuxes on and take a few
pictures.
{12896}{12960}We make sure not|to get people's faces.
{12965}{13005}Are you serious?
{13010}{13152}I'm thinking about your new bride.|Do you really want to let
her down?
{13157}{13240}Marriage advice? Really?
{13281}{13342}This looks just like your wedding.
{13347}{13429}- Same flowers?|- I don't know. Monica picked them.
{13434}{13489}- The chairs?|- Those too.
{13494}{13536}- The place settings?|- Her.
{13541}{13614}- What did you do?|- I took care of the cameras.
{13619}{13666}Gift shop?
{13801}{13880}- Did you do it yet?|- Not yet.
{13885}{13974}Then what are you doing here?|Are you about to do it?
{13978}{14036}Is it Gunther?
{14070}{14174}- It's not Gunther!|- Thank God. That hair on a baby?
{14212}{14347}The father is not here. I haven't|told him, and I don't
think I can now.
{14353}{14378}Why not?
{14383}{14525}I was walking and thinking, "I'm gonna|tell the father. "
And then, bam!
{14546}{14591}Bus?
{14608}{14737}No, you! You freaked me out.|You kept saying how huge this
is.
{14743}{14791}- But it is huge.|- I know.
{14797}{14865}But I was thinking|how huge it is for me.
{14869}{14933}I didn't think about the father.
{14938}{15052}You're thinking about it too much.|Tell him and get it over
with.
{15056}{15154}It's like ripping off this Band-Aid,|quick and painless.
{15158}{15223}Oh, mother of...!
{15259}{15306}See?
{15430}{15555}- Are we opening presents?|- No. I shouldn't be opening
these.
{15567}{15680}Joey, I am out of control!|You have to do me a favor.
{15684}{15816}No matter what I say,|do not let me open another present.
{15896}{15949}Give me one more.
{16023}{16117}Good, you're here. Pheebs?|Listen...
{16125}{16206}Sit down,|I got something I want to say.
{16375}{16506}It's a scary world out there,|especially for a single mom.
{16511}{16656}I always felt that you|and I have a special bond.
{16683}{16781}So, Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
{16850}{16916}Oh, my God!
{16953}{17012}Oh, yeah, I'll marry you.
{17050}{17158}- You can't marry him!|- Your day's over, it's my turn.
{17188}{17296}- Why can't she marry me?|- I can and I will.
{17314}{17417}She's not pregnant.|Rachel's the one who's pregnant.
{17422}{17481}Oh, my God!
{17487}{17551}He'd notice|when you didn't have a baby!
{17557}{17616}It's Joey!
{17723}{17830}I can't believe it! Rachel's pregnant?|Who's the father?
{17836}{17886}We don't know.
{17928}{18012}- I wonder if it's that dude.|- There's a dude?
{18017}{18050}Who is it?
{18054}{18211}A month ago this guy spent the night.|I didn't see who it
was, but...
{18324}{18376}Was that story over?
{18467}{18523}The guy left this.
{18527}{18641}Oh, my God!|I know who the father is.
{18725}{18816}People have got|to finish their stories.
{18952}{19039}- Could you take a picture of us?|- Of course.
{19125}{19266}- Would you take one of us?|- Yeah, sure.
{19278}{19315}Click.
{19336}{19402}- It didn't click.|- I heard it.
{19408}{19490}- There was no flash.|- You won't take our picture?
{19494}{19566}Yeah, I'll take your picture.
{19600}{19741}- Your finger was covering the lens.|- Who are you, Ansel
Adams? Scram!
{19828}{19937}I feel really bad about how|I freaked you out before...
{19942}{20003}...so I asked the father|to come here.
{20008}{20104}What? Wait a minute.|How do you know who it is?
{20109}{20190}I may play the fool at times...
{20195}{20326}...but I'm more than a pretty blond|with an ass that won't
quit.
{20341}{20425}I believe this belongs to the father.
{20430}{20551}Oh, God. He's in there right now?
{20557}{20694}You can turn around,|or go in and rip the Band-Aid off.
{20743}{20785}- Let's rip.|- Are you sure?
{20790}{20847}- Phoebe!|- Sorry.
{20915}{20954}Hey, Rach.
{21130}{21226}Go on-stage. I'll get a picture|of you doing the speech.
{21650}{21748}Will the owner of a 1995 LeSabre|see the front desk?
{21752}{21828}Your car is about to be towed.
{21871}{21936}That's my car!
{21955}{22024}- A '95 LeSabre?|- Yes.
{22036}{22095}- A green LeSabre?|- Yes!
{22161}{22253}- I'm sorry, I meant blue.|- Yes, green-blue.
{22340}{22415}Well, go. Go move it!
{22428}{22524}Ready for the last picture?|Get ready to run.
{22663}{22741}Congratulations on your wedding.
{22884}{22924}What's this about?
{22929}{22992}Rachel has something to tell you.
{22996}{23095}And I believe that|this is your red sweater.
{23099}{23198}No, this is my red sweater.
{23253}{23301}Oh, no.
{23353}{23446}Could I get anyone a coffee?
{23452}{23536}Or poison? No? Just for me? Okay.
{23561}{23605}What's going on?
{23610}{23712}Nothing.|Phoebe kind of made a mistake.
{23718}{23828}But you wear that sweater a lot.|Is it some kind of dare?
{23856}{23951}I'm actually glad Phoebe called.
{24052}{24211}I was immature, but I've grown up.|I think we should get
back together.
{24218}{24267}It's not the right time.
{24272}{24387}It is the right time.|I'm ready for more.
{24392}{24447}Let's give it another try.
{24473}{24536}I'm having a baby.
{24726}{24796}- You can go.|- Thank you.
{24904}{24986}I don't know how|any of these got opened!
{25006}{25100}- You opened them all?|- I know, I am a terrible person.
{25104}{25175}Chandler won't trust me ever again.
{25211}{25284}- You got my parents' gift.|- What is that?
{25289}{25362}I think it does something|to salami.
{25443}{25500}- How'd it go?|- What did Tag say?
{25505}{25582}Tag is not the father.|And Joey knows now?
{25588}{25691}I do, and I'm so happy for you.
{25748}{25833}Wow, you didn't even try|to unhook my bra.
{25890}{26024}- Will you ever tell whoever it is?|- I will, just not
tonight.
{26028}{26121}No matter what he says,|you're not gonna be alone.
{26127}{26159}I'm not?
{26164}{26231}No. Listen...
{26276}{26404}It's a scary world out there,|especially for a single mom.
{26408}{26536}I've always felt like|you and I have a special bond.
{26540}{26600}- Rachel, will you marry me?|- What?
{26679}{26753}- Pheebs, give me the ring back.|- No!
{26758}{26904}Joey, you're so sweet, honey,|but I'm not looking for a
husband.
{26997}{27051}I understand.
{27063}{27166}If you'll excuse me,|I'm going to go and lie down.
{27294}{27376}I can't say that didn't hurt.
{27395}{27507}- But I'll take you back, Joey.|- About that, l...
{27512}{27596}- Oh, a Salami Buddy!|- There you go!
{27622}{27661}- We're back!|- Great.
{27667}{27766}We're hanging in the kitchen.|Let's stay in the kitchen.
{27777}{27857}- It's picture time.|- You're gonna love these.
{27865}{27982}Here's a picture of Ross.|And that's me.
{27988}{28076}And that's me and Ross.
{28090}{28192}And here's our first kiss|as a married couple.
{28197}{28265}That is a great picture.
{28270}{28401}And interesting, because I found|the cameras in one of our
bags.
{28461}{28522}Didn't see that coming.
{28528}{28601}Okay, this isn't our first kiss...
{28606}{28703}...but it is my first kiss|with this lady.
{28743}{28871}Which I'm sure you'll remember,|so there's no need...
{28905}{29016}- I'll take these to get developed now.|- Good idea.
{29103}{29201}You opened the presents?|We were gonna do that together.
{29207}{29292}You kissed another woman?
{29297}{29371}- Call it even?|- Okay.
{29481}{29602}- I'll put these in water.|- You stole those from that
wedding?
{29609}{29653}No, the hotel lobby.
{29657}{29811}They think they can charge me for|some dirty movie and a bag
of nuts!
{29881}{29936}Hey, my sweater!
{30002}{30086}I've been looking for this|for a month.
{30187}{30262}Oh, my God!
{30405}{30443}Oh, my God!
{30607}{30722}- Hey, how you doing?|- Good. Long time no see.
{30726}{30813}- Like your sweater.|- Right back at you.
{30866}{30995}- It's crazy about Rachel.|- Well, she's one crazy lady.
{31012}{31141}- So whose is it?|- I don't know, some Italian guy.
{31166}{31256}Come on, read your own label.|See you later.
{31262}{31319}He is so weird.
{31418}{31443}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 3
{40}{130}- Are you excited about our honeymoon?|- Yeah, I am.
{216}{300}Get it out of your system|while we're alone.
{306}{399}- We came to say goodbye.|- Have a great honeymoon.
{404}{447}- Thanks.|- I'll go pack.
{452}{559}I already packed.|But I couldn't find your Speedo.
{614}{707}Speedo? I don't have a Speedo.
{713}{820}I'm gonna go pack|my regular, long bathing suit.
{860}{941}Good, you're still here!|Have a good honeymoon.
{947}{991}Oh, thank you!
{997}{1099}And I wanted you guys to know|I am telling the father today.
{1204}{1241}What? What? What?
{1283}{1362}- We know it's Ross.|- How? How do you know?
{1368}{1459}It was his sweater. But, oh, my God!
{1465}{1547}I wanted Ross to know first.|But I'm relieved!
{1553}{1644}- I'm gonna be your baby's aunt!|- I know.
{1649}{1767}- Me too!|- I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here.
{1784}{1901}- You'll all be aunts and uncles.|- But I'm the only one
related by blood.
{1919}{2051}Now that you all know, you can give|me advice on how to tell
Ross.
{2056}{2093}What'll you say?
{2098}{2201}That I'm having it. And he can be|as involved as he wants.
{2206}{2246}That sounds good.
{2251}{2369}Yeah, but how do I start?|What's the first thing that I say?
{2445}{2526}- Okay, great. Thanks.|- Hey, good luck.
{2531}{2586}Yeah, bye.
{2591}{2627}What was that about?
{2633}{2746}No harm in telling you now.|Rachel and Ross are having a baby.
{2751}{2896}What? I didn't even know!|Why didn't you tell me?
{2902}{2974}Why am I talking like this?
{2993}{3084}I didn't think|you could keep it a secret.
{3090}{3167}I'm an excellent secret-keeper.|I've kept all our secrets.
{3176}{3238}- What secrets?|- No, no, Joey.
{3243}{3359}I'm not gonna tell you because|I am an excellent secret-
keeper.
{3416}{3494}- You'll tell me later?|- You already know.
{3526}{3576}The One Where Rachel Tells Ross
{4508}{4612}It's so romantic to send people off|on their honeymoon.
{4618}{4712}You know, they're married.|Ross and Rachel are having a baby.
{4718}{4864}- Maybe you and I should do something.|- All in good time, my
love.
{4891}{5005}I left my guitar in their apartment.|You can let me in, right?
{5010}{5069}They took my key to give to you.
{5074}{5194}- What? They took mine to give to you.|- Why would they take
our keys?
{5199}{5309}- Maybe they don't trust us.|- They let me keep my key last
time.
{5314}{5439}When you broke the ketchup bottle|and cleaned it with Monica's
towels?
{5444}{5505}- I washed those.|- No, you didn't.
{5510}{5570}Yeah, that didn't sound like me.
{5586}{5688}- I really need my guitar.|- I have stuff in there too.
{5693}{5801}- What stuff?|- Monica's chicken parm. I'll fix it.
{5846}{5999}Mr. Treeger? I need to get into|Monica's apartment. It's an
emergency!
{6004}{6119}Gas leak.|Oh, and bring garlic bread.
{6204}{6266}- Did Rachel find you?|- No, why?
{6272}{6394}- She was looking for you.|- I guess I'll catch up with her
later.
{6414}{6549}- She really wanted to talk to you now.|- Yeah, it seemed
pretty important.
{6584}{6664}- Oh, no.|- What?
{6679}{6759}I think I might know|what this is about.
{6798}{6829}Really?
{6834}{6989}Yeah. We promised we weren't|gonna tell anybody this...
{6995}{7083}...but a month ago,|Rachel and I slept together.
{7102}{7147}And?
{7224}{7374}- Wow, I thought you'd be more shocked.|- Oh, sorry. And?!
{7466}{7574}Well, we said we'd just|do it that one time...
{7580}{7669}...but now I think she may|wanna start things up again.
{7674}{7757}Yeah, I don't think that's what it is.
{7763}{7889}- Why? What else could it be?|- Oh, wow, I don't feel well.
{7926}{8018}I'm telling you,|that's what it is.
{8023}{8114}No wonder she was looking|at me funny at the wedding.
{8121}{8180}She didn't say anything to you?
{8185}{8258}Maybe it's something you ate.
{8263}{8374}- Please, just go and talk to Rachel.|- Yeah, I guess I
should.
{8420}{8478}You know what I have to realize?
{8483}{8604}I'm not the type of guy|women can have just one night with.
{8634}{8749}They always seem to want|a little bit more.
{8774}{8834}I should remember that.
{9056}{9104}Next.
{9115}{9202}- They're kissing, let's go around.|- They're in love.
{9207}{9288}I'm in love too.|But in an orderly fashion.
{9293}{9430}- Next.|- Hi. Can you do that and walk?
{9436}{9542}Sorry, we didn't hear you.|We're on our honeymoon.
{9547}{9692}Let me see what I can do.|There are some first class seats.
{9697}{9835}They bumped them up to first class!|Let's act like we're on
our honeymoon.
{9840}{9899}We are on our honeymoon.
{9905}{9996}- Grab my ass.|- Next.
{10001}{10130}Sorry, I almost didn't hear you.|I'm so in love with my new
husband.
{10135}{10206}- We're on our honeymoon.|- Congratulations.
{10212}{10334}Mr. Bing, you'll be in 25J,|and Mrs. Bing, you're in 25K.
{10339}{10450}We're on our honeymoon, so can you|bump us up to first
class?
{10456}{10543}I'm sorry, that couple|got the last two seats.
{10548}{10686}If we'd gone around them like I said,|she'd have given us
those tickets!
{10692}{10794}25J and K, any chance|those aren't together?
{10819}{10902}They took my key.|You trust me with yours.
{10907}{10978}Of course, and I'll give it back...
{10983}{11074}...when they're done|at the key shining place.
{11145}{11207}What the hell is that?
{11228}{11320}- What are you doing?|- You said there was a gas leak.
{11325}{11442}- Why don't you use your key?|- I won't find it before it
explodes.
{11448}{11588}If that happens at another building|I manage, people will
ask questions.
{11651}{11719}We could have done that.
{11776}{11851}They're going into|the first class lounge.
{11856}{11909}- You know what's in there?|- No.
{11915}{11976}Me neither. We have to get in!
{12015}{12104}- Just act like you belong.|- Oh, my God! Oranges!
{12152}{12274}- Nice to see you again.|- May I see your tickets, please?
{12279}{12319}Yes, of course.
{12348}{12408}I can't see the seat number.
{12413}{12505}That's all right.|I have it memorized. It's 1 A.
{12551}{12645}- This isn't first class, sorry.|- Apology accepted.
{12650}{12764}Sir, I'm afraid I'm going|to have to ask you to leave.
{12777}{12817}Fine.
{12846}{12914}Go, go, go!
{13276}{13385}I think there's something that|we really need to talk about.
{13391}{13519}I think we do.|Why don't we go inside?
{13629}{13740}- Look, I know why you're here.|- You do?
{13746}{13909}Yeah, and to save you from any|embarrassment, I should talk
first.
{14166}{14304}Ross and Rachel.|Rachel and Ross.
{14331}{14424}It's been one heck of a seesaw,|hasn't it?
{14443}{14473}What?
{14490}{14639}I mean, look, that one night we had|was fun and certainly
passionate.
{14644}{14764}But don't you think it's better|if we just stay friends?
{14785}{14831}Seriously, what?
{14864}{14945}Okay, okay. You know what?
{14950}{15079}If you want to,|we can do it one more time.
{15110}{15245}I'd be okay with that.|In fact, I have some time right now.
{15250}{15354}- You know what? Can I talk now?|- Oh, sure.
{15500}{15554}I'm pregnant.
{15651}{15694}Ross?
{15801}{15844}Ross?
{15859}{15930}Okay, whenever you're ready.
{16096}{16184}And you're the father, by the way.
{16465}{16570}- Can I get you some water?|- I'm good, I'm good.
{16575}{16729}Ross, there is no pressure on you.|You can be as involved as
you want.
{16810}{16964}Yeah, I... I'm just, I don't know.|I don't understand...
{16999}{17059}...how this happened.
{17113}{17189}- We used a condom.|- I know.
{17194}{17315}But you know, condoms only work,|like, 97%"%" of the time.
{17326}{17374}What? What?
{17418}{17469}What?!
{17486}{17581}Well, they should put that on the box!
{17630}{17731}- They do.|- No, they don't!
{17843}{17943}Well, they should put it|in huge block letters!
{17948}{18083}- Let's just forget about the condoms.|- Well, I may as well
have!
{18121}{18280}- I was really freaked out too when...|- Freaked out? I'm
not freaked out.
{18286}{18395}I'm indignant as a consumer!
{18400}{18493}- You know what? Let's talk later.|- No, I wanna talk now.
{18498}{18662}In fact, I wanna talk to|the president of the condom
company.
{18667}{18739}Okay, maybe I should come back...
{18756}{18824}Yeah, I'll press one!
{18906}{19043}- I looked everywhere. No gas leak.|- So now I can heat this
up?
{19056}{19110}I'll get moving on that door.
{19115}{19234}Great. Could you not tell|Chandler and Monica about this?
{19240}{19322}They don't have any kids|of their own...
{19328}{19434}...and this door was|like a child to them.
{19439}{19532}I have to put in a new lock.|They'll find out anyway.
{19553}{19676}This looks like an all-day job.|I'll have to cancel my yoga
class.
{19681}{19764}Could you tell Jasmine|I can't make it to yoga?
{19769}{19844}- Sure.|{y:i}- Namaste.
{19925}{20029}- What happened to the door?|- So it's noticeable?
{20036}{20120}- Is Rachel here?|- Didn't you two already talk?
{20125}{20179}Yeah, but...
{20186}{20329}You guys know Rachel and I slept|together, but there's
something else.
{20370}{20403}Rachel's pregnant.
{20408}{20490}- Holy mother of God!|- I can't believe it!
{20551}{20679}- With my child.|- That is brand-new information!
{20766}{20855}- You already know, don't you?|- A little bit.
{20861}{20950}- How you doing?|- Okay. I mean, I'll be okay.
{20955}{21014}I didn't handle it well.
{21019}{21070}- What'd you say?|- Nothing.
{21076}{21189}But the complaint department|at the condom company got an
earful.
{21194}{21266}Then when I turned around,|she was gone.
{21272}{21406}But in my defense, I found out|that condoms are only 97%"%"
effective.
{21411}{21475}- What?|- I gotta go find her.
{21480}{21639}Hold on! Are you serious? So, like,|3%"%" of the time they
don't even work?
{21666}{21753}They should put that on the box!
{21758}{21823}- Evidently, they do.|- What?!
{22036}{22126}- I can't believe we're here.|- You've gotta be kidding.
{22132}{22171}What?
{22209}{22306}As a wedding gift, we're|giving you the Honeymoon Suite.
{22311}{22394}No! You have been screwing us all day!
{22401}{22497}- Who are you?|- We're you. Just 10 seconds later!
{22536}{22630}You got first class, the lounge.|We need free stuff!
{22636}{22709}You're not the only ones|on your honeymoon!
{22736}{22840}You can have the suite.|We don't care where we stay.
{22846}{23009}We're here to celebrate our love.|We just want to be
together.
{23073}{23139}We need the stuff.
{23189}{23283}Hey, it's Joey. We smell gas|from your apartment.
{23288}{23410}- Are you serious? Joey smells gas.|- What else is new?
{23415}{23530}- We'd check it, but you took our keys.|- Do something. Get
in!
{23535}{23640}- How? I could break down your door.|"- Yeah", "do that."
{23646}{23744}- You won't blame us for any damage?|{y:i}- No.
{23770}{23883}- Are you doing it? I can't hear.|- Okay, I'll break it
down.
{23976}{24073}He's doing it,|he's breaking down the door.
{24155}{24214}Okay, we're in.
{24293}{24412}- Rachel, are you comfortable?|- Lf I said I was, would you
judge me?
{24424}{24524}The doctor'll be here in a minute|to do your sonogram.
{24596}{24714}Oh, man, I swear, if they sold|these at Pottery Barn...
{24798}{24838}We need to talk.
{24843}{24969}Right now? I kind of got an alfresco|situation going on over
here.
{24974}{25069}I want to apologize|for the way I acted earlier.
{25074}{25164}- Can you stay up near my head?|- Yeah, sorry.
{25169}{25306}I went crazy. I was thinking about me,|and I should've
thought of you...
{25311}{25365}- Head, Ross! Head!|- Right.
{25370}{25478}I want you to know that I'll be|there through this whole
thing.
{25483}{25605}Doctor's appointments, Lamaze classes,|baby-proofing the
apartment.
{25610}{25695}- We can do that after we get married.|- Married?
{25700}{25740}We should get married.
{25745}{25839}Because that's your answer|to everything?
{25867}{25935}No, it's the right thing to do.
{25940}{26074}Yeah, maybe, if you're in love.|But we are not in love, are
we?
{26079}{26213}No, but still, I mean,|you can't possibly do this alone.
{26222}{26254}Excuse me?
{26259}{26373}Come on, you can't even eat alone|in a restaurant.
{26378}{26489}- What?|- How can you have a baby by yourself?
{26494}{26579}- I can too eat by myself!|- When have you ever?
{26584}{26695}When certain people leave the table|and I am not finished!
{26700}{26783}Certain others take two hours|to eat soup!
{26788}{26842}Please, you inhale your food.
{26847}{26959}I grew up with Monica. If you|didn't eat fast, you didn't
eat!
{27020}{27056}Am I interrupting?
{27062}{27147}No, Dr. Long, come in.|This is Ross, the father.
{27152}{27249}But not the husband,|because she can do this alone.
{27255}{27354}Nice to meet you.|I'll get started on this.
{27395}{27524}- Why can't you admit you need me?|- I need you to stay near
my head!
{27551}{27680}Okay. Everything looks good.|Here it is on the screen.
{27685}{27753}There's your uterus...
{27758}{27855}...and right here is your baby.
{27893}{27954}Oh, my God.
{27968}{28095}Wow! There it is, I see it.
{28100}{28195}Congratulations.|I'll give you two a minute.
{28201}{28251}Thank you.
{28420}{28475}Pretty amazing, huh?
{28481}{28559}I don't see it!
{28731}{28835}- What? What?|- I can't see it.
{28841}{28920}- You just said you did.|- I know, I lied.
{28926}{29022}I didn't want her to think|I was a terrible mother.
{29027}{29170}Come here. Sure you can.|Come here. Look, it's right there.
{29304}{29374}Oh, it's beautiful.
{29380}{29449}I see it now.
{29468}{29546}- Do you really?|- No, I don't see it!
{29552}{29615}Come on. All right. Okay. Okay.
{29621}{29764}You see this tiny thing|that looks like a peanut?
{29816}{29868}Sweetie, that's it.
{29873}{29994}That's it? Well, I saw that.
{30101}{30194}- Thank you.|- You're welcome.
{30261}{30384}Wow, I can't believe that's our baby.
{30431}{30524}Yeah, that's our baby.
{30759}{30835}- So how was the doctor?|- It went great.
{30840}{30931}- Good.|- Show them the picture of your uterus.
{31069}{31109}I don't see the baby.
{31114}{31224}I couldn't see it either|at first. But it's right...
{31241}{31319}Ross, I lost it again.
{31463}{31488}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 4
{95}{222}Wait. Before we go in, I just|want you to know that I love you.
{227}{295}I had a great time on our honeymoon.
{300}{385}I can't wait|to spend our life together.
{391}{468}You're sticking with|the shell necklace, huh?
{488}{538}You're back!
{575}{642}Come on in!
{711}{754}How was the honeymoon?
{759}{864}So much fun. The best part is,|we met this great couple.
{869}{978}That was the best part?|Good honeymooning, tiger.
{987}{1061}They're cool.|It was their honeymoon too.
{1067}{1114}They live here in the city.
{1119}{1197}Can we go call them?|Is it too soon to call?
{1202}{1301}We're excited. We finally|have a couple to hang out with.
{1306}{1424}A couple? Like two people?|Like one, two people?
{1435}{1511}It's different.|Greg and Jenny are married.
{1516}{1603}Greg and Jenny?|"Hi, Greg. I'm Chandler."
{1608}{1708}"Hi, Monica. This is Jenny."|"Hi, Jenny. Hi, Greg."
{1732}{1805}- They're great. If you just...|- You know what?
{1810}{1892}Give us our souvenirs|and get out of here.
{1923}{2008}- We didn't get a chance to...|- You're kidding!
{2023}{2113}- We didn't get anything for anyone.|- Nice necklace.
{2149}{2214}That you can have.
{2227}{2277}The One With the Videotape
{3162}{3242}- Welcome home.|- How was the honeymoon?
{3247}{3320}Great! How about you?|You're having a baby!
{3325}{3423}- Look, I have a sonogram picture.|- Good.
{3448}{3536}Ross, it's got your wavy, black lines.
{3577}{3707}Now that Ross knows, how'd it happen?|When? How many times?
{3712}{3805}Monica, that's not right.|Start with where.
{3874}{3954}It happened about six weeks ago.
{3960}{4087}I got home and Ross was there.|He'd been hanging out with
Joey.
{4092}{4159}You're welcome, buddy.
{4249}{4308}Yeah, thanks.
{4325}{4418}I had a lot of work,|and Ross offered to help.
{4423}{4488}We had wine, we got to talking.
{4493}{4588}Next thing you know,|Ross comes on to me.
{4619}{4683}That's a little misleading.
{4689}{4765}- What is?|- The lie you just told.
{4798}{4883}- That you came on to me?|- There's the one!
{4888}{4978}- But you did. Let's be honest.|- Yes, let's.
{5030}{5078}It's not important.
{5083}{5202}What's important is, we're having|a baby, not who came on to
who.
{5207}{5258}"Whom."
{5318}{5373}That's right.
{5402}{5489}- You kissed me first.|- You were begging for it!
{5495}{5553}You were sending me signals!
{5559}{5693}I was sending signals? Anyone think|that I'd send Ross begging
signals?
{5698}{5758}Please, show of hands.
{5810}{5914}It doesn't matter what people believe!|It happened.
{5920}{6048}Maybe I need to be more careful.|Am I sending these signals
now?
{6054}{6163}- You know what? Just drop it.|- Show me how I begged you.
{6169}{6257}I can show you!|I have it on videotape.
{6422}{6478}It's an expression.
{6602}{6682}I can't believe|he taped them having sex.
{6687}{6786}Yeah. You gotta tell a girl|before you tape her.
{6795}{6864}Such a rookie mistake.
{6869}{6958}- Know who has a great camera?|- Greg and Jenny?
{6975}{7036}- I want to call them.|- Let's call.
{7041}{7120}Ask them if they brought|their friends souvenirs.
{7255}{7312}8th Street Deli?
{7317}{7414}Hang up. You get food poisoning|just talking to that place.
{7420}{7494}- Sorry, wrong number.|- Here you go, babe.
{7554}{7627}Hello?|It's the deli again!
{7632}{7701}All right, I'll have a sandwich.
{7706}{7778}I don't think this number's right.
{7847}{7938}- What?|- You got fake-numbered.
{7961}{8063}- What? People don't do that.|- Oh, I think we do.
{8069}{8143}- Why would they do that?|- I don't know.
{8149}{8248}You were a delight.|You asked those great questions.
{8254}{8372}And you were never funnier.|Joke, joke, joke! You were a hoot!
{8377}{8439}You still got me and Phoebe.
{8444}{8539}Excuse me, I don't want|Greg and Jenny's rejects.
{8579}{8662}Rachel won't talk to me.|She won't open the door.
{8667}{8715}I wonder why, pervert.
{8728}{8779}Okay, I am not a pervert.
{8784}{8863}That's, like, the pervert motto.
{8868}{9003}You raise your hand, put your left|hand down your pants and
repeat that.
{9019}{9080}Filming Rachel was not planned.
{9085}{9163}Here's what happened.|Joey can back me up.
{9168}{9288}A month and a half ago, remember|I came to you with a problem?
{9304}{9368}The personal thing?
{9399}{9494}- What personal thing?|- About sex?
{9532}{9613}That I hadn't had sex in months?
{9619}{9689}Yeah, I knew what|you were talking about.
{9918}{10037}I'd like to talk about something|I'm uncomfortable talking
about.
{10042}{10083}Sure.
{10101}{10201}How about you showering|with your mom?
{10239}{10333}I actually had a topic in mind.
{10392}{10522}I'm kind of going through|a dry spell, sex-wise.
{10527}{10594}- For, like, months?|- Five, to be...
{10600}{10647}...lying. Six.
{10658}{10712}Six months? That's rough.
{10717}{10847}It's not all bad. I'm learning to|appreciate the small
things, like...
{10852}{10962}...the sound of a bird|and the color of the sky.
{10967}{11058}The sky's blue, Ross.|And I had sex yesterday.
{11105}{11173}Please help me.|I have a date tonight.
{11178}{11256}It has to go well.|I'm scared for my health.
{11278}{11377}I got something.|It's this story that I came up with.
{11382}{11473}Very romantic.|Any woman that hears it is putty.
{11478}{11516}Tell it to me.
{11521}{11639}Now, you're gonna want to have sex|with me when you hear it.
{11645}{11714}Remember, it is just the story.
{11750}{11831}I'll try to control myself.
{11889}{11987}Years ago, I was backpacking|across Western Europe...
{11992}{12122}- You were backpacking across Europe?|- Have a nice six more
months.
{12127}{12258}I'm sorry. Please, please.|You were in Western Europe,
and...?
{12300}{12430}I was outside Barcelona, hiking|in the foothills of Mount
Tibidabo.
{12489}{12598}I was at the end of this path,|and there was a lake.
{12604}{12701}Very secluded.|There were tall trees all around.
{12707}{12793}It was dead silent.|Gorgeous.
{12799}{12941}And across the lake I saw|a beautiful woman bathing herself.
{12947}{13017}But she was crying.
{13057}{13094}Why?
{13264}{13314}This is great wine.
{13320}{13375}It's from France.
{13417}{13471}In Europe.
{13477}{13538}Western Europe.
{13598}{13727}A few years ago I was backpacking|across Western Europe.
{13732}{13823}- Really?|- Wait, it gets better.
{13875}{13935}Yeah, I was in Barcelona.
{13940}{14033}I studied for a year in Barcelona.
{14076}{14175}- Anyway, so I was hiking...|- I love hiking!
{14180}{14228}Oh, that's great!
{14272}{14381}I was hiking along the foothills|of Mount Tibidaybo...
{14386}{14486}- I think it's "Tibidabo."|- Do you want to tell the story?
{14573}{14627}How'd your date go?
{14632}{14728}Great. I'm across the street|having sex right now.
{14744}{14861}- Your story sucks.|- Then you didn't tell it right.
{14868}{14947}- Show me how you did it.|- No, I don't want to.
{14952}{15080}- How long since you seen a girl naked?|- I was
backpacking...
{15085}{15211}- I'm not feeling it.|- I was outside Barcelona, hiking...
{15216}{15352}- Ross, I'm not hot. Are you hot?|- It's been six months.
I'm always hot.
{15357}{15454}You're not selling the story.|You don't believe it.
{15460}{15531}I gotta go, I got a date.|But try this.
{15537}{15600}Do what I do before an audition.
{15606}{15720}Use my camera to record yourself|and see what you're doing
wrong.
{15725}{15763}I'll try that.
{15768}{15919}Now, you're all set up. Good to go.|Just hit record. Good
luck.
{15925}{16078}If you ever have any problem with the|ladies, you know I'll
help you out.
{16190}{16253}That means a lot to me, man.
{16698}{16829}Can I get you anything?|Lens cleaner? Your battery okay?
{16867}{16952}Ross, thank God you're here.|You have to help me.
{16957}{17024}Were you talking to yourself?
{17030}{17119}That's less embarrassing.|Yes. Yes, I was.
{17125}{17220}"When she came in",|{y:i}I totally forgot about the camera.
{17225}{17313}It kept rolling|and recorded everything.
{17352}{17430}Yeah, we're gonna need|to see that tape.
{17450}{17543}What a great idea!|That'll get Rachel to forgive me.
{17549}{17620}It's not fair to her.|Let's forget the tape.
{17629}{17678}Thank you.
{17750}{17819}- No.|- You're right.
{17860}{17952}- Joey, no.|- Loud and clear.
{18112}{18184}I don't get why|they'd give us a fake number.
{18194}{18334}If they knew what they were doing,|they didn't give you real
names.
{18339}{18464}Maybe people give out fake numbers,|but not fake names.
{18470}{18563}Hi. Ken Adams.|Nice to meet you.
{18579}{18643}Regina Phalange.
{18662}{18727}- We didn't do anything wrong.|- I know.
{18773}{18858}Although you did tell|an awful lot of jokes.
{18878}{18970}You said they were funny.|Joke, joke, joke!
{18975}{19040}Joke, joke, blah-blah.
{19157}{19230}- It was your questions.|- What about them?
{19235}{19358}The sheer volume.|It was like flying with the Riddler.
{19390}{19485}- Was that another joke?|- Was that another question?
{19552}{19593}Is Ross still here?
{19599}{19708}No, but he told us what happened.|It was an honest mistake.
{19713}{19829}How would you like it if I had sex|with you and I taped it?
{19834}{19888}Oh, forget it.
{19925}{20052}There he is, the father of my child,|the porn king of the
West Village.
{20072}{20130}It was an accident, okay?
{20134}{20213}I feel bad.|I swear, I didn't even watch it.
{20218}{20284}Anyway, here.
{20290}{20388}You might be more comfortable|destroying it yourself.
{20394}{20443}Thank you.
{20614}{20666}What?
{20699}{20788}- You don't want to see this, do you?|- Hell, yeah!
{20812}{20873}I am not gonna show you this.
{20879}{20974}Not the sex part.|Just the stuff leading up to it.
{20979}{21029}Forget it.
{21035}{21174}We'll think of another way to put the|"who came on to who"
thing to rest.
{21180}{21250}Come on now, think!
{21269}{21371}It's Rachel's tape,|and she can do whatever she wants.
{21376}{21484}And she wants to destroy it,|so end of story.
{21490}{21581}- I want to see it.|- What?
{21586}{21638}You don't want us to see this.
{21646}{21796}You so badly don't want us to see it|that it makes me want
to see it.
{21847}{21918}Are we watching the tape or not?
{21935}{22071}- It's for your sake.|- I don't believe you.
{22076}{22163}I think you don't want them|to see you begging me.
{22194}{22288}- Rachel, please?|- Oh, a little preview.
{22327}{22453}Fine. I want the record to show|that I tried to take the
high road.
{22459}{22590}Because in about five minutes,|I'm gonna be saying...
{22726}{22772}Okay, here we go.
{22852}{22909}I'm so happy.
{23005}{23102}{y:i}Thank God you're here. Help me.|{y:i}Were you talking
to yourself?
{23107}{23204}- There I am.|- You're gonna get pregnant.
{23220}{23261}{y:i}I screwed up so bad.
{23266}{23393}{y:i}I told Monica that I'd send|{y:i}those wedding
invitations weeks ago.
{23397}{23433}{y:i}You didn 't do it?
{23438}{23565}"I put them in my desk at work",|{y:i}and forgot about them
until today.
{23638}{23760}Sweetie, it's okay. Everybody made it|to the wedding. I'm
fine.
{23766}{23873}- Kind of hurting my hand though.|- I know.
{23878}{24008}"I can 't believe it", "especially after"|{y:i}Monica went
on and on about it.
{24014}{24119}"Here are the invitations", "Rachel."|"Be very careful",
"Rachel."
{24125}{24239}{y:i}Please no drinking liquids|"around the invitations",
"Rachel. "
{24460}{24553}Did you do it on our invitations?
{24609}{24688}Not on the ones we sent out.
{24703}{24823}So just the ones you gave back to us|and we had framed?
{24998}{25083}{y:i}It seems like yesterday|{y:i}they just got engaged.
{25089}{25133}{y:i}I know.
{25143}{25263}{y:i}Remember the night they got engaged?|{y:i}How you and I
almost...
{25268}{25359}"Oh", "I remember how we almost."
{25364}{25441}{y:i}You think we would've|{y:i}gone through with it?
{25447}{25513}{y:i}You think we would have done it?
{25560}{25665}{y:i}I know I wanted to.|{y:i}I just wasn 't sure if you
did.
{25670}{25738}"Oh", "I wanted to."
{25752}{25858}{y:i}So we both wanted to.
{25876}{25933}{y:i}Interesting.
{25998}{26143}"Anyway", "it probably worked out"|{y:i}for the best.
{26157}{26201}"Yeah", "sure."
{26206}{26371}- In about 10 seconds, he kisses me.|- In about 5 seconds,
you'll see why.
{26448}{26592}{y:i}Did I ever tell you about the time|{y:i}I backpacked
through Western Europe?
{26757}{26826}Get ready to see some begging.
{26843}{26935}- Oh, you came on to Ross!|- What?
{26940}{27002}Now I'm so happy.
{27024}{27106}- What?|- You used the Europe story!
{27111}{27223}That's the magic story you use|when you want to have sex!
{27245}{27374}- How do you know about that story?|- How do you know about
that story?
{27380}{27461}My friend Irene heard it|from some guy.
{27476}{27530}Some guy!
{27597}{27703}No, she told me that|his name was Ken Adams.
{27727}{27766}Ken Adams!
{28025}{28114}So, people are familiar|with the Europe story?
{28123}{28259}About that, the "who came on to who"|thing really doesn't
matter.
{28265}{28336}It would have happened either way.
{28341}{28463}If you hadn't initiated it,|I know I would have.
{28482}{28583}- It was an amazing night.|- It was. It was amazing.
{28644}{28719}You think it looked amazing?
{28742}{28858}I don't know.|I honestly didn't watch it.
{28864}{28904}Yeah, me neither.
{28909}{28963}Yet.
{29075}{29185}- That may be weird.|- Yeah, it would be really weird.
{29456}{29528}- Good luck.|- Good luck to you.
{29542}{29631}- Mind if I mute?|- Oh, please.
{29645}{29757}- There go the clothes.|- You are undressing awfully
quickly.
{29762}{29838}Six months, Rachel. Six months.
{30033}{30141}- We look pretty good.|- I was gonna say.
{30147}{30218}- Nice tan.|- Thank you.
{30224}{30303}I'd just gone to|the beach that weekend.
{30369}{30484}- Have you been working out?|- I have been working out.
{30523}{30608}This is so much better|than I ever...
{30743}{30815}Oh, that's not pretty.
{30850}{30933}- Make it stop. Make it stop.|- Oh, no!
{31057}{31131}Hello, Greg?|This is Monica from the plane.
{31136}{31229}Listen, the number that|you gave me, 8-5-3...
{31234}{31306}Jenny's been giving out|their old number!
{31311}{31401}Jenny! That is so Jenny!
{31407}{31504}How would you like to|get together next Saturday?
{31509}{31560}Okay, how about Sunday?
{31565}{31624}Okay, the week after that?
{31630}{31672}The week after that?
{31684}{31826}You know what? We are interesting,|funny people with good
questions.
{31832}{31922}And if you and your precious Jenny|can't see that...
{31927}{31968}January 15?
{31974}{32036}We'll see you then!
{32158}{32183}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 5
{75}{142}This one's rare.|This one's medium. Go!
{148}{195}Hey, Phoebe!|How was dinner?!
{200}{301}Dinner was good! Just saying hi!|Now I'm gonna go!
{313}{392}- Well, hello there.|- Hi.
{398}{460}I didn't see this on the menu.
{465}{518}This is Tim, my new sous chef.
{537}{616}- So you're Monica's boss?|- No, she's my boss.
{621}{714}- "Sous" is French for "under."|- I "sous-stand."
{720}{816}Tim, I need a caesar salad.|And could you get me the pesto?
{821}{886}- You made pesto?|- Yes, I did.
{891}{965}Would you say your pesto|is the best-o?
{970}{1075}I don't know.|I would say it's pretty good-o.
{1115}{1161}I still need the salad.
{1170}{1216}- Great necklace.|- I made it.
{1222}{1331}- You are so talented.|- Well, it's no pesto.
{1336}{1422}Let's just cut to the chase.|You're both single.
{1431}{1496}He gets off at 11.|Call her.
{1501}{1629}I'll give him your number if I could|just get a caesar salad!
{1667}{1771}I did not yell.|I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
{1785}{1835}The One With Rachel's Date
{2757}{2876}- Wow, Bing! Burning the midnight oil.|- You know me, sir.
{2881}{2961}How can I get|around the computer network...
{2967}{3066}...so I can access|the really good Internet porn?
{3073}{3123}You're a joker, Bing.
{3161}{3221}What's funny about that?
{3230}{3339}- Sorry I kept you waiting so long.|- Where do you wanna go?
{3345}{3392}I think you know.
{3397}{3458}- The Hard Rock Cafe?|- Yeah.
{3468}{3536}- Again?|- Yeah.
{3553}{3681}- I'm telling you, I like the food.|- You like the "Purple
Rain" display.
{3698}{3778}- Hey, Bob.|- Hey, Toby. Have a good night.
{3798}{3919}- Did that guy just call you Toby?|- Yeah, he thinks that's my
name.
{3938}{4042}- Why don't you correct him?|- It's been way too long now.
{4048}{4126}The first time, I didn't say anything.
{4132}{4214}The next time he said,|"Toby, want a doughnut?"
{4220}{4286}And I wanted the doughnut.
{4302}{4397}Five years later, the doughnut's gone|and I'm still Toby.
{4403}{4502}- Chandler, you have to tell him.|- That would be so awkward.
{4508}{4586}We don't work together.|He's on the sixth floor.
{4591}{4661}So he calls me Toby once in a while.
{4667}{4731}It's not like he's calling me Muriel.
{4737}{4850}Muriel.|Why would he call you Muriel?
{4932}{4991}Oh, my God.
{5007}{5091}Chandler "M." Bing.
{5123}{5236}It's not just an "M."|Your middle name is Muriel!
{5241}{5306}It is a family name.
{5311}{5402}Chandler Muriel Bing.
{5408}{5516}Your parents never even|gave you a chance, did they?
{5543}{5648}Drake, I've discovered the reason|for your memory loss.
{5653}{5724}Your brain transplant|wasn't successful.
{5730}{5798}Your body's rejecting Jessica's brain.
{5803}{5855}Is it serious?
{5861}{5951}Not if we extract tissue|from the original body...
{5956}{6067}...and synthesize antibodies|to stop you from rejecting the
brain.
{6073}{6159}That sounds simple enough.|Let's just do that.
{6164}{6256}We would, but when we went|to exhume Jessica's body...
{6261}{6316}...it was gone.
{6382}{6452}Cut.|Very nice, people.
{6458}{6509}I'll change and we can go.
{6514}{6623}- What happened to Jessica's body?|- You'll have to see it on
TV.
{6628}{6701}- You don't know, do you?|- Couldn't care less.
{6715}{6801}- Good scene, man.|- You too.
{6865}{6931}What? You weren't in it.
{6970}{7055}Kash, this is my friend Rachel.|Rachel, Kash.
{7060}{7153}- Hi.|- Why haven't I seen you here before?
{7158}{7301}Joey just thinks I'll embarrass him.|He thinks I'm a soap
opera nut.
{7307}{7361}Which I'm not.|I'm not.
{7371}{7494}Although, I do know your favorite|ice cream flavor is butter
pecan.
{7516}{7606}And your dog's name is Wally.
{7613}{7691}- Look, I'm just stroking your arm.|- Let's go!
{7697}{7768}Bye, Kash.|Say hi to Wally.
{7881}{7922}- Monica.|- Hi.
{7928}{8047}I had the best time|with Tim last night. He is so sweet.
{8053}{8116}I can't wait|to get "sous-neath" him.
{8163}{8211}- I have to fire him.|- Why?
{8217}{8297}He's terrible.|He's slow. He burns things.
{8303}{8367}He lit my pastry chef on fire.
{8378}{8451}He was nervous.|You can be intimidating.
{8456}{8548}And your pastry chef can stand|to be taken down a peg.
{8553}{8642}Well, now she has no eyebrows.|Mission accomplished.
{8648}{8726}But Monica, he loves his job so much.
{8731}{8821}Can't you just give him|another chance, please?
{8856}{8961}All right. But if he lights|someone else on fire, he's gone.
{8967}{9042}That's fair. Thank you so much.
{9048}{9118}Looks like he got you|a little bit too.
{9133}{9196}I paid to have this done.
{9252}{9301}Love it!
{9373}{9471}Hey. You know,|Kash really liked you.
{9477}{9527}He thought you were charming.
{9533}{9629}- I thought I was an idiot.|- I'm with you.
{9655}{9786}- He asked if you'd go out with him.|- I think I'm gonna throw
up a little.
{9791}{9842}- What did you say?|- "No."
{9848}{9891}What?
{9896}{10021}I figured since you're pregnant,|you're not gonna be seeing
people.
{10047}{10156}First of all, Kash Ford?|Not people.
{10161}{10223}Did you tell him I was pregnant?
{10228}{10367}No. I didn't know if you told people.|This was when Kash was
still "people."
{10372}{10463}- Good. Just have him call me.|- I don't think that's...
{10468}{10581}Go do it or I'll come back|to that set. I'll meet more
actors.
{10633}{10711}- Hey, Bob.|- How's my pal Toby doing today?
{10716}{10786}If I see him, I'll ask.
{10856}{10944}Was that Bob from six|you were just talking to?
{10950}{10991}- Yeah.|- You know him?
{10997}{11055}We're on a semi-first-name basis.
{11068}{11176}- What about adding him to our team?|- Bob?
{11182}{11324}Working here with us? Every day?|I don't know if he has what
it takes.
{11330}{11421}- They love him down on six.|- But this is 11.
{11427}{11502}It's almost twice as hard up here.
{11507}{11601}- Okay, Bob will stay put.|- I think it's best, sir.
{11607}{11776}We do need to find somebody. I've got|a stack of documents
this high.
{11781}{11887}Just toss them in the shredder|and claim you never got them.
{11913}{11963}That's a good one, Bing.
{11975}{12085}What does a guy have to do|to be taken seriously around
here?
{12201}{12291}I gave him another chance,|but Tim has got to go.
{12296}{12381}I called the chef|who recommended him to me.
{12386}{12466}He said, "Ha, ha! Gotcha!"
{12472}{12538}- But don't fire him today.|- Why?
{12543}{12637}- Because I'm dumping him today.|- You said he was sweet.
{12642}{12734}He's too sweet.|He calls me all the time.
{12740}{12825}"Did you get home okay?"|"Was your shower okay?"
{12831}{12927}- Don't pick up the phone.|- Then he comes over!
{12933}{12981}"I was worried."|Be a man!
{12997}{13043}So I can't fire him?
{13048}{13126}And dump him the same day?|He'll kill himself.
{13131}{13287}- Go out with him for another week.|- Are you kidding? I'll
kill myself.
{13292}{13371}Then he'll just have to deal with it.
{13388}{13526}Okay. But who's gonna go first?|Whoever goes second is the
bitch.
{13532}{13607}- What?|- Fire a guy that's just been dumped?
{13613}{13699}Bitch!|And dump a guy that's just been fired?
{13705}{13750}Blond bitch!
{13755}{13862}I wanted to do this days ago,|so I think I should go first.
{13868}{13924}All right, that makes sense.
{13956}{14026}But screw you! I'm going first!
{14136}{14187}Toby, you got a sec?
{14193}{14311}I wanted to get transferred up here,|but it's not gonna
happen.
{14317}{14421}Apparently somebody thinks|I'm not "11 th-floor material."
{14433}{14526}Say, who the hell is this Chandler?
{14574}{14669}What's the best excuse for why|I'm not drinking?
{14675}{14746}"I'm a recovering alcoholic,"|"I'm a Mormon"...
{14752}{14856}...or "I got so hammered last night|I'm still a little
drunk"?
{14896}{14959}What do you want to do tonight?
{14964}{15062}There's a powerful Ukrainian film|playing. Interested?
{15067}{15172}No. But I'll go see|a normal-person movie with you.
{15178}{15276}- Rach, you wanna come?|- I can't. I've got a date.
{15293}{15369}- A date?|- Yeah. Why, is that weird for you?
{15374}{15489}Why, no. It's the opposite of weird.|It's regular.
{15495}{15594}It's mundane.|It's actually a little dull.
{15599}{15669}It's no Ukrainian film.
{15674}{15726}Earrings!
{15743}{15881}- She's got a date? With who?|- I set her up with this
actor.
{15886}{15999}- You set her up?|- No.
{16004}{16082}- What were you thinking?|- That it was okay...
{16086}{16157}...because you two haven't dated|in years.
{16163}{16291}I'm worried about my baby.|Whoever she dates, my baby dates.
{16297}{16446}- Where is this "actor" taking them?|- Hey! I'm an "actor"
too.
{16470}{16563}They're taking the ferry|to a place on Staten Island.
{16568}{16716}My baby's going on a ferry? Do you|have any idea how
dangerous those are?
{16721}{16820}Aren't we talking about|those big boats that go really slow?
{16825}{16967}Why not just jump out of an airplane|or burn each other with
matches?
{17062}{17151}- Hey, Joey.|- Hey, Kash. Ross, this is Kash.
{17157}{17237}Hey, I hear you're going|on a ferry tonight.
{17243}{17299}Bit of a daredevil, are we?
{17334}{17422}Do you guys think this is too slutty?|Hi, Kash.
{17427}{17541}- Hey, Rachel. You ready to go?|- Yeah. See you guys later.
{17547}{17661}Have a great time, you guys.|And yes, it is too slutty!
{17923}{18022}I'm glad you called.|I feel like I'm always calling you.
{18028}{18099}What's up?|Is everything okay with Phoebe?
{18131}{18212}It will be in a minute.
{18218}{18331}- Tim, you're a really great guy.|- That's because I'm with
you.
{18416}{18515}It's just, I'm in a place in my life|right now where...
{18538}{18616}So sorry. "This just in."
{18645}{18708}It's the restaurant.|Monica needs me.
{18713}{18801}No, she doesn't! I know what that is.|You can stay.
{18815}{18876}I'll miss you too, Pheebs.
{18892}{18996}And I will be holding you right here.
{19186}{19281}What movie do you wanna see?|And not one I have to read.
{19286}{19336}I get that from books.
{19362}{19444}- Books?|- Okay, car magazines, cereal boxes...
{19449}{19483}...but it's enough!
{19506}{19613}Let's not see a movie.|We'll just stay here and hang.
{19618}{19771}- Just wait for Rachel to come back?|- Hey, if that's what
you wanna do.
{19776}{19837}Dude, what is going on?
{19843}{19922}- I have to find out how it went.|- Why?
{19928}{20054}- He could be my baby's stepfather.|- One date and they're
getting married?
{20060}{20116}He's not you!
{20153}{20212}I can't believe she's dating!
{20218}{20322}- What did you think she was gonna do?|- I don't know.
{20328}{20440}- I can't believe this is happening.|- What do you mean?
{20445}{20551}I thought when I had another kid,|it'd be different.
{20565}{20702}I love Ben. But every time|I drop him off at Carol and
Susan's...
{20708}{20776}...it breaks my heart a little.
{20792}{20896}I've always had this picture|of me and my next wife in
bed...
{20901}{21042}...my kid comes running in, leaps up|on the bed and we all
read the paper.
{21048}{21126}Maybe fight over the science section.
{21142}{21291}- That's nice. You can still have that.|- No. Rachel's out
with some guy.
{21296}{21367}My baby went with her.
{21377}{21491}If anything, that picture|keeps moving further away.
{21518}{21566}Hey, can I ask you something?
{21572}{21722}In this picture of you and your wife,|is your wife Rachel?
{21738}{21801}It used to be.
{21825}{21911}Now she doesn't really have a face.
{21926}{21995}Smokin' body, though.
{22033}{22155}Good call. But the face, Ross,|the face isn't Rachel.
{22160}{22258}No. But how much easier would it be|if it were?
{22264}{22314}That's not what she wants.
{22319}{22416}I know. And I can't force myself|to fall in love with her.
{22421}{22501}Ross, maybe you need a new picture.
{22507}{22599}It won't be what you thought.|But no matter what...
{22605}{22717}...there's gonna be|a brand-new little baby. Your baby.
{22723}{22806}Who cares what the picture looks like?
{22876}{22957}Let's you and me go out|and have some fun.
{22963}{23026}Whatever you want. Come on.
{23047}{23151}- We can catch that Ukrainian film.|- No, I said fun.
{23198}{23241}- Hey, Toby?|- Hey, Bobby.
{23250}{23316}It's Bob, actually.
{23333}{23446}You work up here. Where's|Chandler Bing's office?
{23452}{23541}Yeah, it's right...
{23575}{23637}Right there.|Let me ask you, why?
{23642}{23741}I wanna talk to that bastard,|see what his problem is.
{23793}{23859}I'm the reason you didn't get the job.
{23865}{23912}- Toby, don't.|- Bob.
{23918}{24027}Toby, I'm not gonna let you cover|for him.
{24033}{24137}Anything you say will just get me|more upset with Chandler.
{24143}{24223}That puts me|in a difficult position.
{24286}{24367}- Is everything okay?|- That depends.
{24373}{24469}- How are you and Phoebe?|- Great. Thanks for introducing
us.
{24474}{24596}My pleasure. Okay, I'm afraid|I've got some bad news.
{24601}{24650}- Phoebe!|- Monica!
{24686}{24753}- You're fired!|- I'm breaking up with you!
{24763}{24806}I'm breaking up with you.
{24811}{24888}- You're fired.|- Why?
{24893}{24994}I'm sorry. I'm not ready|for a relationship right now.
{24999}{25104}I'm sorry too.|But I like things done a certain way.
{25110}{25238}- The chemistry's just not right.|- The chemistry thing for
us too.
{25273}{25366}Wow. Okay.
{25398}{25546}I realize I came on a little strong.|It's because I think
you're amazing.
{25585}{25701}I wanna tell you how much I appreciate|you giving me an
opportunity.
{25706}{25791}You're the most talented chef|I've ever worked for.
{25805}{25851}Anyway...
{25986}{26056}- Tim, wait.|- Yeah?
{26086}{26201}I spoke too quickly. There's|a learning curve with this job.
{26206}{26270}Maybe we could try it again.
{26276}{26361}Thank you so much.|I know I can be better.
{26405}{26506}And Tim, I just want to say|good luck here.
{26678}{26731}- Hello.|- Hi.
{26748}{26793}How was the date?
{26798}{26931}I'm alone and I just bought $ 15 worth|of candy bars. What
do you think?
{26936}{27042}- What happened?|- I told him I was pregnant.
{27048}{27162}- He didn't take it so well?|- Well, better than you.
{27168}{27244}- But still not what you want.|- Oh?
{27250}{27336}Yeah. He got all weird and sputtery.|Then he said:
{27341}{27414}"I hear those hemorrhoids|are a bitch."
{27426}{27491}- He sounds swell.|- Doesn't he?
{27513}{27621}You want a little cheering up?|Sit down.
{27645}{27731}Guess whose middle name is Muriel?
{27818}{27931}Chandler M. Bing.|Oh, my God.
{28022}{28096}- I'm sorry about your date.|- It's all right.
{28102}{28184}I guess I'm just done|with the dating thing.
{28190}{28297}Just one more thing in my life|that's completely different.
{28303}{28396}- This is hard.|- Yeah, I know.
{28443}{28589}On the other hand, in seven months|you're gonna have
something...
{28595}{28736}...that you're gonna love more than|any guy you've ever gone
out with.
{28758}{28811}Just wait.
{28840}{28947}Wait until the first time|your baby grabs your finger.
{28953}{29011}You have no idea.
{29046}{29106}Thanks, sweetie.
{29198}{29337}- You wanna grab some coffee?|- No. I'm gonna go eat 10
candy bars.
{29343}{29456}- I thought I cheered you up.|- You did. There are 20 in
here.
{29478}{29536}- Good night.|- Good night.
{29710}{29803}Ross? Hey, it's Mona.|From the wedding.
{29808}{29871}- Oh, hi!|- Hi.
{29906}{29997}- How are you?|- I'm good, except you owe me a dance.
{30003}{30143}That's right. Well, would you be|interested in seeing a
Ukrainian film?
{30175}{30241}Oh, you're serious. Sure.
{30256}{30316}Great. Well...
{30333}{30479}- I think I need another cup of coffee.|- Sure, let me get
it for you.
{30875}{30905}Bob?
{30910}{30945}Bob!
{31011}{31122}- What the hell are you doing?|- This is Chandler's office.
{31128}{31201}Come on, Toby. Give me a hand!
{31496}{31521}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 6
{72}{123}- Guys, guess what?|- What?
{129}{197}We're having a Halloween party!
{204}{230}- Good!|- Great!
{237}{336}- You have to wear a costume.|- I can't make it.
{342}{383}Come on, it'll be fun.
{389}{508}I'll be there. I have to wear a|costume to my classes that day
anyway.
{514}{596}Tell me you're not gonna dress|like a dinosaur.
{603}{671}Not two years in a row.
{696}{776}- I'll come, but I'm not dressing up.|- You have to.
{783}{919}No. Halloween is stupid. Dressing up,|pretending to be someone
you're not.
{926}{992}You're an actor.
{1004}{1057}Ross, are you gonna bring Mona?
{1061}{1118}- I will.|- The girl from the wedding?
{1154}{1253}If she needs costume ideas,|she could be a bikini model...
{1259}{1343}...or a slutty nurse,|or a sexy cheerleader.
{1349}{1493}Or Leatherface from "Texas Chainsaw"|"Massacre." No! Slutty
Leatherface.
{1519}{1597}Wasn't Joey hitting on her too?
{1604}{1672}That's right, he was hitting on her.
{1679}{1792}And I got her. I guess|the better man won.
{1798}{1872}Please don't take her from me.
{1899}{1950}The One With the Halloween Party
{2884}{2927}Ursula!
{2934}{2995}Wait. It's me, Phoebe.
{3001}{3081}I thought there was a mirror there.|Okay. Bye.
{3087}{3115}Wait a second!
{3122}{3171}So, what's new with you?
{3187}{3265}Nothing.|I'm getting married next week.
{3272}{3307}What?
{3314}{3390}Lt'll be a small ceremony.|Just family.
{3396}{3425}His.
{3469}{3502}Okay.
{3509}{3546}I'm happy for you.
{3559}{3670}Wait. If you want to come,|I guess that'd be okay.
{3676}{3702}- Really?|- Sure.
{3709}{3771}You could be my sister for the day.
{3778}{3852}Yeah, okay.
{3859}{3972}My friends are having a party tonight,|so you could come.
{3979}{4032}Maybe I could meet the guy.
{4038}{4108}Well, I'm supposed to work tonight.
{4114}{4202}I'm supposed to be working now,|so who cares!
{4209}{4308}- It's a costume party.|- So that's why you're...
{4329}{4362}No.
{4368}{4421}But thanks.
{4574}{4642}- You're supposed to wear a costume.|- I am.
{4649}{4756}I am a woman who spent money|on a dress she wants to wear...
{4762}{4848}...because soon she won't|fit into it.
{4854}{4957}I'm Catwoman, who wants the dress|when you're too big for it.
{4988}{5053}- Trick or treat!|- Can I give out candy?
{5059}{5176}I want to be with kids. Since I got|pregnant, I have maternal
instincts.
{5182}{5252}- Trick or treat!|- Just a minute!
{5394}{5439}Look at you guys!
{5445}{5552}- Wow! You are a very scary witch.|- Thank you.
{5559}{5651}- And you are a very funny clown.|- Thank you.
{5657}{5690}And you...
{5696}{5780}...are so in style right now.
{5786}{5913}I work at Ralph Lauren. The fall line|has got this equestrian
theme.
{5919}{6036}- Did you see the cover of "Vogue"...?|- Could I just have the
candy?
{6100}{6141}Sure.
{6329}{6407}Catwoman. So we meet again.
{6414}{6459}So we do, Supergirl.
{6479}{6536}It's me, Phoebe.
{6583}{6657}Monica, can I talk to you|for a second?
{6795}{6844}I appreciate the costume.
{6850}{6903}You did this to him?
{6909}{6948}I thought he'd love it.
{6954}{7102}- He loves "The Velveteen Rabbit."|- That rabbit was brown and
white.
{7107}{7162}It was pink, or no bunny at all.
{7168}{7261}No bunny at all.|Always no bunny at all!
{7314}{7437}- You didn't dress up either?|- Yes, I did. I'm Chandler.
{7539}{7598}Dude, what happened?
{7604}{7643}How is that me?
{7674}{7729}I'm Chandler.
{7757}{7817}That is so you!
{7824}{7931}- When have I ever done that?|- When have I ever done that?
{8018}{8067}Trick or treat.
{8168}{8261}- You're the prettiest ballerina ever.|- Thank you.
{8299}{8354}That deserves another candy.
{8359}{8406}Thank you.
{8461}{8547}I have to say,|that earns "two-two" pieces of candy.
{8552}{8613}I love you!
{8664}{8721}Honey, here, take it all.
{8841}{8890}Monica? We need more candy.
{8897}{8957}- There's only been four kids.|- I know.
{8964}{9052}But one said she loved me,|so I gave her everything.
{9059}{9104}No wonder you're pregnant.
{9249}{9399}- What are you supposed to be?|- Remember the satellite,
Sputnik?
{9418}{9519}Well, I'm a potato. Or a "spud"...
{9529}{9597}...and these are my antenna.
{9602}{9676}So Sputnik becomes...?
{9772}{9866}Spud-nik!
{9904}{9986}Wow! I don't have|the worst costume anymore.
{10024}{10102}All right! Ross came as doodie.
{10144}{10230}- No, I'm not doodie.|- No, space-doodie.
{10458}{10482}Hey, sweetie.
{10549}{10602}- Aren't you gonna kiss me?|- Okay.
{10609}{10693}But right after, you have to tell me|who you are.
{10699}{10750}- Ursula?|- Ursula's fiance?
{10756}{10883}You're the sister. I just slapped|my future sister-in-law's
ass.
{10889}{10969}Is your mother here?|I could slap her on the butt.
{10976}{11071}- My mother killed herself.|- See, and I knew that.
{11124}{11167}Now I'm sweating.
{11174}{11295}I'm sweating. Now I'm saying look|at me, I'm even sweatier.
I should go.
{11302}{11341}No. We'll start over.
{11347}{11415}- Hi, I'm Phoebe.|- Eric.
{11422}{11533}- Why are you looking at me like that?|- Sweat's burning my
eyes.
{11539}{11572}- Thank you.|- There.
{11578}{11642}- What are you?|- There's no name for it.
{11646}{11722}I get nervous, and I sweat like crazy.
{11754}{11865}- No, I meant your costume.|- I'm a solar system.
{11872}{11923}My second graders helped.
{11929}{11997}- I love the second grade.|- Really?
{12003}{12141}It's much better than first grade,|and definitely better
than third.
{12147}{12231}With all the politics|and the mind games.
{12249}{12362}- So, what do you do?|- I'm a masseuse, by day.
{12393}{12473}- You don't have to stay with me.|- I'm having fun.
{12477}{12602}- I'm excited for you and Ursula.|- I feel very lucky. She's
great.
{12609}{12722}- She's the most beautiful woman ever.|- Thank you.
{12854}{12903}- Hey, Joey?|- Yeah?
{12909}{13001}- You read comic books, right?|- Exclusively.
{13008}{13092}Who would win in a fight,|Catwoman or Supergirl?
{13098}{13149}- Catwoman, hands down.|- Yeah.
{13156}{13236}Between you and Phoebe?|I'd give Phoebe the edge.
{13241}{13284}- What? Really?|- You kidding?
{13291}{13423}Phoebe lived on the street, okay?|Plus, she's got a crazy
temper.
{13429}{13493}She's not right behind me, is she?
{13499}{13538}- No, you're fine.|- Okay.
{13544}{13612}- Could I take Rachel?|- I'm not sure.
{13619}{13678}What? Come on, I am tough!
{13684}{13749}Punch me here, as hard as you can!
{13755}{13837}Relax. Why are you so serious?|It doesn't matter.
{13842}{13959}Really? What if I told you|Ross or Chandler could beat you
up?
{13965}{14016}I would say, "Woman, please."
{14084}{14143}Ursula's fiance is really sweet.
{14150}{14213}He's a teacher,|he does volunteer work.
{14219}{14377}Normally, I don't like sweaty guys.|But I could just mop him
up.
{14384}{14435}- Oh, my God, Phoebe?|- What?
{14441}{14562}- You're getting a crush on him.|- No, I'm not, you are!
{14568}{14636}Here comes the temper.
{14703}{14729}Trick or treat.
{14744}{14843}Know what? We're out of candy.|But someone went for more.
{14849}{14968}And I've been giving out money,|but I'm out of that too.
{14974}{15029}- Can I write you a check?|- Okay.
{15036}{15151}- Okay. What's your name?|- Lelani Mayolanofavich.
{15199}{15291}Okay, I'm just gonna write this out|to "cash."
{15319}{15372}- Hi.|- Hi, Mona.
{15429}{15542}Joey's gonna be thrilled. He was|hoping you'd be a slutty
nurse.
{15548}{15622}Actually, I'm just a nurse.
{15644}{15751}You'd think that would embarrass me,|but I'm maxed out.
{15788}{15825}- You made it.|- Wait.
{15831}{15934}- You're a potato?|- Well, I'm a spud...?
{15940}{16043}- And the antenna... You're Spud-nik!|- Yes!
{16064}{16117}Marry her.
{16152}{16255}Here's a good one. Who'd win|a fight between Ross and
Chandler?
{16268}{16319}I can't. Chandler's my husband.
{16325}{16382}- So Ross?|- Yeah.
{16394}{16468}- Hey, beautiful.|- Hello, handsome.
{16474}{16502}Oh, God.
{16549}{16625}Look at you two.|When did you guys meet?
{16629}{16672}- Two weeks ago.|- That's it?
{16692}{16782}I know. It sounds crazy,|and I'm not impulsive, but...
{16789}{16886}...we have so much in common.|- Oh, really?
{16892}{16947}We're both teachers.
{16992}{17097}- And we were both in the Peace Corps.|- Peace Corps,
really?
{17134}{17282}When we were building in Uruguay,|we were two towns apart
and never met.
{17287}{17411}Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got|there, but it was a town
when I left.
{17439}{17509}- Shall we get me really drunk?|- Sure.
{17644}{17697}Howdy, doodie.
{17714}{17749}That's funny, yeah.
{17753}{17868}You're the funniest man here in a|bunny costume his wife
made him wear.
{17889}{17981}Relax, man. You're looking|a little "flushed."
{18104}{18186}- Our question might get answered.|- What question?
{18193}{18277}Who could kick whose ass in a fight,|you or Ross?
{18294}{18376}- There's no question.|- So you think Ross too?
{18444}{18503}- You picked Ross?|- Ross is strong.
{18509}{18622}He's the strongest out of all three|of you. Except for Joey.
{18639}{18748}- I can't believe you didn't pick me.|- She's right. I am
stronger.
{18754}{18807}I would destroy you.
{18814}{18927}Really? You think you're stronger?|Why don't you prove it?
{18950}{19014}I'll prove it like a theorem!
{19019}{19070}All right! Stop it!
{19097}{19152}Stop! No one's gonna fight.
{19157}{19243}People came to see a fight,|let's give them one!
{19293}{19396}- You guys could arm-wrestle.|- Listen to the slutty nurse.
{19412}{19519}- You're going down.|- Oh, yeah? You're going downtown!
{19526}{19621}Seriously, guys, the trash talk|is embarrassing.
{19806}{19882}Gunther, you brought candy.|Thank you so much.
{19886}{19956}- You are so sweet.|- Really?
{19962}{20077}You are gonna make some man|the luckiest guy in the world.
{20094}{20151}- Got to go.|- Trick or treat.
{20163}{20247}Hi! Wow! There you go.
{20269}{20366}My friend Lewis told me|you were giving out money.
{20372}{20442}We were, but now we've got candy.
{20459}{20521}I'd rather have the money.
{20555}{20619}That's not your choice.|Happy Halloween!
{20627}{20657}This isn't fair.
{20663}{20741}Is it fair that you put on a cape|and get stuff?
{20748}{20797}Shut up!
{20809}{20837}You shut up!
{20882}{20981}- You can't tell me to shut up.|- I think I just did.
{20987}{21044}And here it comes again. Shut up!
{21087}{21151}No, I got it. I'm good. I got it.
{21181}{21273}Wait, I had one more thing to say.|Right. Shut up.
{21298}{21341}You're a mean old woman.
{21347}{21390}Wait! Shut... Don't cry!
{21396}{21443}Let me get my checkbook!
{21450}{21571}You don't have to do this. The|strength inside you means the
most.
{21577}{21680}You're loyal, you're honest|and you have integrity.
{21687}{21753}That's the strength I want in a man.
{21759}{21835}That means nothing to me. Come on!
{21889}{21926}- Hi, liar.|- Hey.
{21964}{22085}He's marrying you because he thinks|the things you were
saying were true.
{22092}{22153}- They could be true.|- But they're not.
{22174}{22213}It's a fine line.
{22237}{22303}- Why are you lying?|- I don't know.
{22309}{22437}He did this stuff, I said I did it|too. He got so excited,
it was fun.
{22467}{22578}It's a disgusting habit,|and I want you to quit now!
{22589}{22644}She's helped so many people quit.
{22669}{22706}We'd better get going.
{22712}{22780}- You have a church group meeting.|- Right.
{22888}{22972}- It was nice meeting you.|- You too.
{22978}{23071}And, Ursula, it was really nice|meeting you tonight!
{23079}{23176}Come on! Bunny versus Doodie.|We're waiting!
{23223}{23303}Okay, guys. One match,|winner take all.
{23334}{23387}Wait. What does the winner get?
{23392}{23439}- Pride.|- And dignity.
{23446}{23507}Okay, if you say so.
{23514}{23561}All right, ready, set, go!
{23568}{23627}- Come on!|- Come on!
{23799}{23931}- Wow, they're both really strong.|- Or equally weak.
{23944}{24028}Oh, God. Chandler's making|his sex face.
{24164}{24289}- So you getting tired?|- No. I could do this all day.
{24295}{24352}Yeah. Me too.
{24404}{24498}- Getting a little tired, though.|- God, I'm exhausted.
{24504}{24627}This is starting to look bad for me,|okay? Mona's standing
right there.
{24656}{24753}She's talking to Joey!|You've got to let me win!
{24760}{24826}Let me win.|My wife thinks I'm a wimp.
{24832}{24966}At least you have a wife.|I get divorces and knock people
up.
{25007}{25073}And I'm dressed as doodie.
{25094}{25232}- You're Spud-nik.|- Come on, who we kidding? I'm doodie.
{25251}{25306}Please? She's watching.
{25328}{25406}- Fine.|- Thanks.
{25421}{25491}- Oh, no.|- Oh, yeah!
{25520}{25561}My hero!
{25567}{25622}You're a weird lady.
{25708}{25769}Ursula said she left her purse.
{25775}{25863}What a relief. It has the numbers|for her prayer chain.
{25870}{25919}I'm sure it does.
{25929}{25997}Guess I'll see you at the wedding.
{26038}{26118}I don't think I'm gonna make it|to the wedding.
{26125}{26213}- I wish you all the luck in the world.|- We'll be okay.
{26218}{26321}It's so perfect,|and she's been saving herself for me.
{26369}{26461}- I can't let you do this. She's lying.|- What?
{26468}{26567}She is lying. And I bet|I could prove it. Excuse me.
{26573}{26649}Okay. Yeah, not a prayer chain.
{26656}{26786}But what looks like a detailed drawing|of a bank floor plan.
{26792}{26909}Here's the name tag from|where she works as a waitress.
{26916}{26969}Not a teacher, a waitress.
{26976}{27037}Here, she always lies about this.
{27044}{27157}- How old did she say she was?|- She told me she was 25.
{27163}{27224}I almost don't want to show you.
{27231}{27303}Just remember, I'm a minute younger.
{27364}{27421}I am so stupid.
{27428}{27481}Of course she's not a teacher.
{27487}{27617}There's no such thing as a "Top Secret|School for the
Children of Spies."
{27669}{27722}No, you're not stupid.
{27743}{27796}I'm not smart.
{27874}{27985}I just wanted so much|to be impulsive for once.
{27992}{28037}- To be romantic.|- Good.
{28042}{28184}You should be impulsive and romantic.|You did it with the
wrong person.
{28249}{28337}- What?|- It's weird, two people look so alike.
{28344}{28385}And so different.
{28442}{28512}Eric! Let's go!
{28529}{28632}- Better go deal with it.|- Yeah, you should.
{28759}{28837}Hurry up! I gotta pray!
{29104}{29192}I had to give the kid|50 bucks to stop crying.
{29199}{29225}That's not bad.
{29231}{29327}I also had to go to a few houses|as his girlfriend.
{29354}{29405}I am awful with children.
{29414}{29517}You're good with kids.|They're just crazy on Halloween.
{29524}{29606}They're all greedy,|hopped up on sugar.
{29612}{29673}- That's all it is?|- Absolutely.
{29679}{29837}Halloween is the worst. Except|for Christmas. And their
birthdays.
{29844}{29918}They get crazy during the summer too.
{29924}{30006}And any time they're|hungry or sleepy.
{30012}{30086}Kids are tough.|Good luck with that.
{30198}{30262}Look, I'm sorry you lost.
{30274}{30356}I got a secret for you.|I let him win.
{30377}{30437}Was that a secret, or a lie?
{30444}{30493}- No, I let him... Ross?|- Yeah?
{30499}{30573}Would you tell her|I let you win, please?
{30589}{30667}Chandler "let me win."
{30685}{30823}No, Chandler's really strong.|My arm is so sore. Oh, nurse?
{30829}{30903}I am strong. I'll show you.
{30909}{30942}Chandler, please.
{30949}{30994}What's the matter? Scared?
{31019}{31087}Let's go, big bunny!
{31094}{31182}One, two, three. Go!
{31289}{31361}I'm gonna kill myself!
{31475}{31499}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 7
{180}{301}Oh, my God, you cleaned!|Look at these floors!
{307}{399}You did the windows!|I have been begging for months!
{405}{526}- And nagging works!|- No, I didn't actually do this.
{531}{621}Oh, no. Was I cleaning|in my sleep again?
{631}{662}No, it wasn't you.
{667}{756}- Well, then, who?|- I got a maid. Yay!
{770}{903}I hope you mean "mistress," because|if some other woman was
cleaning...
{908}{993}I know you don't like|to relinquish control.
{999}{1081}"Relinquish" is just a fancy word|for "lose."
{1087}{1241}She's nice, and she mentioned that she|adored how you arranged
the sponges.
{1257}{1297}Did she really say that?
{1303}{1391}Yes, I distinctly remember.|I thought it was a joke.
{1396}{1496}- Now, just give her a chance, okay?|- Fine, I can do it.
{1540}{1661}- What's the matter?|- Usually when I'm anxious, I clean.
{1684}{1734}The One With the Stain
{2671}{2772}Whose cell phone is that?|It's so annoying.
{2777}{2846}I think it's coming from your bag.
{2893}{2961}I never get calls!
{2967}{3006}Hello?
{3011}{3159}Hi, it's Eric, from the Halloween|party. Ursula's fiance.
{3164}{3250}Oh, my God, Eric, hi!|How'd you get this number?
{3255}{3332}I have a friend who's a cop,|and he got it.
{3337}{3459}Wow. What an incredible violation|and wonderful surprise!
{3464}{3538}You should know|I broke up with Ursula.
{3543}{3609}Oh, you did?|He did it, he did it!
{3614}{3696}- What did he do?|- Shh! I'm talking!
{3719}{3869}Anyway, I was wondering if you were|the sort of person who
eats lunch?
{3874}{3936}Are you asking me out?
{3942}{4049}Because it'd be weird since you|just broke up with my sister.
{4054}{4167}Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. Bye.
{4172}{4266}Wait! I said that so you'd think|I was a good person!
{4293}{4341}Fight for me!
{4346}{4436}I won't take "no" for an answer.
{4441}{4502}Not great, we can work on it.
{4507}{4586}{y:i}I can be at your apartment|{y:i}in two hours.
{4591}{4649}How do you know where I live?
{4654}{4716}I've got friends too.
{4721}{4751}Okay, bye.
{4766}{4830}Oh, my God, I'm going out with Eric!
{4835}{4947}This day is gonna be much better|than I thought it was gonna
be.
{4953}{5021}Oh, Ross, I can't make lunch.
{5087}{5154}So apparently I'm available|for lunch.
{5159}{5222}I can't. I'm apartment hunting.
{5227}{5263}You're moving?
{5268}{5341}I can't live with Joey|once the baby comes.
{5347}{5460}I don't want my child's first words|to be, "How you doin'?"
{5481}{5529}Does Joey know you're moving?
{5534}{5604}We haven't discussed it,|but he'll be relieved.
{5610}{5727}He brought this girl over,|and I talked about morning
sickness.
{5733}{5789}I showed her my pregnancy book.
{5794}{5881}- That's not really porn?|- Not so much.
{5887}{6033}I heard in the elevator this morning|that a woman in my
building died.
{6038}{6181}Oh, my God. Was she old?|Does she have a view?
{6193}{6296}How great would that be?|You living in my building?
{6302}{6398}I could take care of the baby,|come over whenever I want...
{6403}{6440}...with your permission.
{6445}{6541}That really would be great.|Well, can we see it?
{6547}{6632}Maybe we shouldn't.|If she just died this morning.
{6637}{6717}Yeah. No. No, you're right.
{6811}{6866}- Shall we?|- Yeah.
{7048}{7084}Yes?
{7089}{7161}Hi. I'm Ross Geller.|I live in the building.
{7167}{7276}And I'm Rachel,|an admirer of the building.
{7290}{7431}I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing|away, and I am so sorry
for your loss.
{7436}{7490}- She didn't pass away.|- What?
{7495}{7606}- My mother's still alive.|- Oh, thank God!
{7629}{7766}It looked like we were gonna lose her|this morning, but she's
tough.
{7771}{7811}Are you close with her?
{7817}{7926}Of course. She and I would|talk all the time...
{7931}{8008}...in the laundry room.
{8013}{8076}You speak Dutch?
{8228}{8321}I would, but it's just too painful.
{8353}{8416}So she's really not dead.
{8421}{8501}No. She's hanging in there.
{8506}{8648}Could you tell me, is she hanging in|in a one-bedroom or a
two?
{8733}{8831}This tile cleaner is incredible.|Where did you get it?
{8836}{8912}Oh, well...|I make it myself.
{8917}{9042}It's two parts ammonia and one part|lemon juice. The secret
ingredient...
{9047}{9121}You know what? We just met.
{9126}{9222}Okay. I'm gonna get the clothes|from the laundry room...
{9228}{9289}...then I'll clean behind the fridge.
{9304}{9334}I love her!
{9377}{9436}I'll be back in a minute.
{9456}{9503}Okay.
{9508}{9616}- See? I told you.|- She stole my jeans!
{9656}{9696}What?
{9708}{9776}I've been looking|for them all week!
{9781}{9891}So she stole your pants,|and then came back and wore them?
{9896}{9991}Don't you see?|It's the perfect crime!
{9997}{10070}She must have been|planning this for years!
{10075}{10106}I'll prove it.
{10112}{10234}I dropped a pen in my lap, and it left|an ink stain on the
crotch.
{10239}{10351}When she comes back, I will find it|and show you that stain!
{10401}{10541}Is it possible the company that sold|the jeans made more
than one pair?
{10546}{10575}I guess.
{10580}{10726}Shouldn't we give her the benefit of|the doubt before we
search her crotch?
{10748}{10842}Fine. I'm glad I didn't give|her my secret ingredient.
{10846}{10938}By the way,|what is your secret ingredient?
{11076}{11166}- Hi.|- Come in. I'm so glad you're here.
{11171}{11196}Yeah. Me too.
{11201}{11282}Not in the shaky, angry way|you are, though.
{11288}{11389}Sorry. I just saw Ursula.|I got the engagement ring back.
{11394}{11473}Just seeing her brought it all back.
{11479}{11559}All the lies, the way she used me.
{11565}{11667}I just... I get so angry,|just looking at her...
{11732}{11856}- Face.|- Yeah. Yeah.
{11869}{11986}I'm sorry. It's just,|when I look at you...
{11992}{12041}...I see her.
{12053}{12181}And when I see her,|I get a little bit angry.
{12233}{12290}- Maybe this is too weird.|- Wait.
{12295}{12406}There's only a problem|when I look at you.
{12423}{12481}I got it. I got it.
{12494}{12560}No, don't tear out your eyes!
{12565}{12677}- I was just gonna take out my lenses.|- Oh, yeah. Try that.
{12734}{12791}So, is that better?
{12796}{12846}Not really.
{12877}{13031}You're blurry, but you still|look like Ursula. You're
"Blursula."
{13063}{13171}Okay, wait. Maybe...
{13190}{13281}If I just don't look at you|for a while.
{13322}{13466}See? It works. I'm not angry at|all anymore. This is a great
date!
{13483}{13556}Look, Eric, turn around.
{13592}{13699}I like you, but it shouldn't be|this hard. It's our first
date.
{13705}{13786}It's supposed to be|about excitement and...
{13791}{13924}..."He touched my hand,|did he mean to?" and first kisses...
{13973}{14031}Second kisses...
{14100}{14181}Thanks for the coffee, or:
{14430}{14491}Yeah, we're done.
{14651}{14776}Hey, Ross. You wanna go see|that new IMAX movie on tide
pools?
{14781}{14831}- Really?|- No.
{14877}{14946}But I got Knicks tickets for us.
{14951}{15011}- Sweet!|- All right, let's go.
{15017}{15062}I have to stop by my place.
{15067}{15196}To tape the game? You do this every|time. You're not gonna
be on TV!
{15201}{15271}I have to see if this apartment|is available.
{15276}{15358}- You're switching apartments?|- It's for Rachel.
{15363}{15437}- She has an apartment.|- She's gonna move.
{15442}{15490}- She is?|- Yeah.
{15495}{15579}You didn't expect her|to live there with the baby?
{15584}{15647}I didn't really think about it.
{15765}{15853}Hey, Gunther, you're an "ezel"!
{15932}{15986}Damn it!
{16078}{16139}- Nice jeans.|- Oh, thanks.
{16144}{16251}- I like your top.|- Oh. You're not getting it.
{16420}{16526}- What happened?|- Oh. I fell asleep!
{16545}{16615}I was thinking about taking|my lunch break.
{16620}{16737}Will you do the top of the cabinets?|That'll work up your
appetite.
{16743}{16786}All right.
{17333}{17386}Hello.
{17443}{17561}I'm sorry. I've never had a maid|before. Is this not okay?
{17727}{17870}- How was the game?|- It was okay. I ate way too much.
{17950}{18034}Ross said you were looking|for a new place.
{18039}{18173}Yeah. Hopefully across the street.|If certain Dutch people
would let go.
{18213}{18281}I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
{18290}{18376}Joey, I have to go.|There's no room for a baby.
{18382}{18491}No room? It's a baby.|It's, like, this big.
{18496}{18593}You could put it over here.
{18599}{18673}Or we could put it right here.|Cute, right?
{18679}{18761}Or over here.|You wouldn't even notice it.
{18766}{18846}"Where's the baby?"|"Oh, it's right over..."
{18866}{18954}Honey, it's not just a matter|of where you put it.
{18960}{19041}A baby changes things.|They cry all the time.
{19046}{19161}Imagine bringing home a girl,|trying to score with a
screaming baby.
{19166}{19251}I could use a challenge.|It's getting pretty easy.
{19256}{19346}It's so sweet that you want me|to stay, but I can't.
{19351}{19426}It would disrupt your entire life.
{19435}{19561}It's just...|I love living with you so much.
{19566}{19665}- I wish things didn't have to change.|- I know.
{19670}{19741}You know, I blame Ross for this.
{19772}{19826}I do too, a little bit.
{19856}{19912}I'm gonna miss you.
{19918}{19980}You're the hottest roommate|I ever had.
{20121}{20213}Oh, no, I have to go.|I have a massage appointment.
{20218}{20312}No, stay here. We'll keep doing this.|I'll pay you.
{20317}{20396}No, I've gotten in trouble|for that before.
{20403}{20486}- See you later?|- Absolutely.
{20521}{20569}I love the way you kiss.
{20574}{20686}Really? That's the thing I'm worst at!|You'll see.
{20856}{20946}- Hey. I think Brenda needs a raise.|- How come?
{20951}{21018}Because I put my head|between her legs.
{21023}{21093}- To see her pants?|- They're my pants!
{21098}{21143}Did you see the stain?
{21148}{21249}No. I was getting into position,|and everything went dark.
{21255}{21347}She is not stealing from us.|Will you let this go?
{21353}{21396}Fine.
{21516}{21608}- She's wearing my bra!|- Oh, dear God!
{21613}{21679}My pink flowered bra!|I recognize the strap!
{21684}{21762}Yet you don't recognize|that you're crazy?
{21768}{21854}I'm leaving, and you're gonna look|at Brenda's bra.
{21859}{21926}Here's another plan. No.
{21931}{22009}I would, but she thinks|I'm attracted to her.
{22014}{22101}- Why?|- Did you not hear where my head was?
{22119}{22188}We're a team.|We're in this together.
{22193}{22286}I fear a jury will see it|the same way.
{22303}{22395}I catch you looking|at women's breasts all the time.
{22400}{22452}You see that?
{22458}{22494}Do you see this?
{22553}{22612}All right.|Okay. I get your point.
{22617}{22685}If it's not her bra,|will you let her clean?
{22690}{22844}Yes. You'll know it's mine because on|the right, there's a
noticeable rip.
{22876}{22941}You need new clothes.
{23047}{23128}- Hi. How is she?|- It's not looking good.
{23225}{23335}Well, I brought her some "bloemen."
{23340}{23476}Would you like to say goodbye?|I'm sure it would mean a lot
to her.
{23481}{23561}Oh, I don't know that it would.
{23566}{23676}- Well, her memory is pretty much gone.|- All right, then.
{23868}{23941}- Hey!|- Welcome back.
{23978}{24088}- Shall we continue?|- I'm still tired from this afternoon.
{24093}{24147}- Why?|- The sex.
{24152}{24197}- What sex?|- Our sex.
{24202}{24234}We didn't have sex.
{24239}{24351}If it wasn't with you, I had sex|with somebody that looked
like...
{24515}{24606}- You had sex with Ursula?|- A little bit.
{24611}{24684}I thought she was you|and I kissed her and...
{24689}{24816}- You didn't notice different clothes?|- I was just so
excited to see you.
{24918}{24999}- This is too weird.|- I don't wanna lose you.
{25004}{25099}It's like I was saying to Ursula|when I was making love...
{25105}{25156}Yeah. It's too weird.
{25193}{25255}So I guess this is it.
{25260}{25309}Yeah.
{25335}{25391}Maybe it's for the best.
{25397}{25488}- You smell just like her.|- Yeah, so do you.
{25940}{26040}- What are you doing?|- I'm leaning.
{26045}{26106}This is where I lean.
{26131}{26169}Okay.
{26247}{26286}- Brenda, a bee!|- What?
{26292}{26426}It flew into your blouse! Better|undo your buttons lest it
sting you.
{26455}{26559}- I think I know what's going on here.|- You do?
{26564}{26661}Look, I know it must be hard|that your wife is a lesbian...
{26706}{26771}...but it's wrong. You're married.
{26776}{26854}- I totally understand.|- Okay, good.
{26859}{26924}Could I just see your bra?
{27072}{27160}- Where'd you get those jeans?|- You gave them to me.
{27165}{27256}- No, I didn't!|- All right, I took them.
{27261}{27350}I figured it was okay,|you've got an ink stain on it.
{27355}{27446}- Oh, no! Did you take my bra too?|- What bra?
{27451}{27566}- The pink one with the flowers.|- You mean the one you're
wearing?
{27650}{27693}I quit!
{27720}{27769}Sounds about right.
{27938}{27967}What is this?
{27973}{28033}This is just to give you an idea.
{28039}{28199}We can put screens so the baby has|privacy, and a mobile
over the crib...
{28204}{28346}...and here's a baby monitor which,|for now, we can use as
walkie-talkies.
{28366}{28448}You're so sweet!
{28454}{28566}Oh, my God!|And you gave the baby Hugsy!
{28688}{28777}That's really just to show|where the baby would go.
{28783}{28868}Why don't I hold on to him|so there's no confusion?
{28950}{29043}Joey, the baby is gonna be crying.|It's gonna be loud.
{29048}{29110}- I'm loud.|- It'll be up all night.
{29115}{29169}- I'm up all night.|- It'll poop.
{29174}{29231}Hello!
{29261}{29306}What about all the women?
{29311}{29401}If I'm bringing home a woman|who can't stand a baby...
{29406}{29482}...then maybe I don't wanna|be with that woman.
{29487}{29576}Or maybe we'll do it|in the bathroom of the club!
{29593}{29631}Joey, are you sure?
{29636}{29728}Yeah. Look, I know sometimes|it'll be hard, okay...
{29734}{29863}...but it'll also be really,|really great.
{29869}{29971}Please, Rachel,|I really want you to stay.
{30000}{30111}I want me to stay too. Thank you.
{30152}{30273}- Look at this crib! It's so cute!|- I know. I found it on
the street.
{30278}{30376}Are you...? Really?|This is in such good condition.
{30381}{30436}Whoa! What's under the cover?
{30441}{30498}- I don't know.|- It's moving.
{30503}{30557}It's got a tail! Get it out!
{30562}{30601}Okay!
{30772}{30873}Well, the old lady died.|And how do I know?
{30878}{30976}Because her dying wish|was for one last kiss.
{31008}{31105}But I don't care because|you got the apartment. Yes!
{31110}{31255}Yeah. I think I'm gonna stay here.
{31260}{31309}Isn't that great?
{31562}{31587}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 8
{120}{203}I'm having dinner with my dad|tomorrow. Wanna come?
{208}{283}Sure. He's kind of sexy.
{290}{330}I'll be there too.
{335}{460}So we'll come up with a signal.|If it's going well, you can take
off.
{475}{565}I need your support.|I haven't told him I'm pregnant.
{570}{600}Oh. Why not?
{605}{681}He's gonna flip out.|I hate it when he's angry.
{686}{752}This is all so "Papa Don't Preach."
{757}{841}He's scary.|Once, he caught me smoking.
{846}{933}He said if I did it again,|he'd make me eat the pack.
{939}{998}Wow. Well, I will be there.
{1003}{1103}I won't let that man|make you eat your baby!
{1139}{1223}Hey, who is that guy?|I think I know him.
{1243}{1273}No, you don't.
{1278}{1400}Oh, my God! Monica, he's the stripper|from your bachelorette
party!
{1464}{1508}Her what?
{1547}{1613}Your secret bachelorette party.
{1625}{1734}- Bachelorette party?|- She untied his G-string with her
teeth.
{1758}{1812}Somebody stop me!
{1825}{1952}We weren't gonna have parties.|We agreed that it's a silly
tradition.
{1957}{2023}It's a grand tradition!
{2032}{2113}They surprised me.|There was nothing I could do.
{2118}{2189}You could've untied it|with your hands.
{2195}{2303}This is so unfair. I wanted|to throw a bachelor party...
{2307}{2382}...but I wasn't allowed.|All we got was dinner.
{2387}{2461}You went home with the waitress.
{2475}{2543}Yeah, that was a good night.
{2548}{2598}Why didn't you tell me?
{2603}{2702}The two pillars of marriage|are openness and honesty.
{2708}{2827}I knew giving you that book would|come back and bite me in the
ass.
{2837}{2887}The One With the Stripper
{3815}{3922}- I'll order everyone the chicken.|- Oh, I don't eat meat.
{3938}{3965}It's chicken!
{3995}{4091}- I don't eat that either.|- I never understand you lesbians.
{4158}{4260}- So, what's new with you?|- Well, actually...
{4266}{4313}Your '74 Lafite, sir.
{4319}{4424}I ordered the '75. That's a|magnificent wine. '74 is sewage!
{4429}{4503}Why would you bring me sewage?
{4509}{4604}Are you an idiot?|Is that why you're a waiter?
{4609}{4672}This is why I didn't want|to wait on you.
{4677}{4748}Oh, come on.|Don't be such a baby.
{4800}{4901}In case you didn't notice,|that is a scary man.
{4906}{4993}He's right, though.|The '74 is absolute piss.
{5036}{5122}This was a huge mistake.|I can't tell him. I can't.
{5127}{5152}Rachel...
{5157}{5290}I'm gonna wait a couple of years,|and then the baby will tell
him.
{5303}{5424}- Why? So he can get mad at the baby?|- That's the baby's
problem.
{5495}{5616}- Everything okay with the waiter?|- I don't know. I went to
the bathroom.
{5669}{5781}So, sweetie, you were starting|to tell me what's new with you.
{5887}{5935}I got TiVo.
{5954}{6053}- What's TiVo?|- It's slang for "pregnant."
{6174}{6211}Are you pregnant?
{6221}{6293}Well, yes and no.
{6301}{6350}Except, not no.
{6357}{6410}So to sum it up, yeah.
{6415}{6516}Who is the father?|Please don't tell me it's her!
{6575}{6637}No, it's Ross. You like Ross.
{6704}{6754}I hope you're okay with this.
{6760}{6844}This is a good thing.|This is your first grandchild!
{6849}{6906}You're gonna be a poppy!
{6911}{6988}That's true. I'm a poppy!
{7004}{7079}I'm gonna be a poppy!
{7145}{7214}- So when is the wedding?|- The who?
{7244}{7323}The wedding.|There's going to be a wedding.
{7328}{7462}Young lady, don't you tell me my first|grandchild is gonna be
a bastard!
{7469}{7583}- Tell me there's gonna be a wedding!|- February 2nd!
{7725}{7786}It was cool seeing you lecture today.
{7791}{7902}Thanks. Although it seemed like|you were falling asleep.
{7908}{8038}No, I had my eyes closed so I could|concentrate and take it
all in.
{8043}{8119}A lot of my students do that.
{8131}{8217}- I've got to get going.|- I'll see you tonight?
{8270}{8400}Thanks for showing me your semiprecious|stone collection. It
was amazing.
{8453}{8514}My God, you must be good in bed.
{8550}{8623}So you and Mona. It's been a while.|How is it?
{8638}{8678}It's going good.
{8683}{8765}I mean, we get along great.|She's so...
{8771}{8848}- Hot?|- I was gonna say sweet, but yeah!
{8872}{8921}She's okay with the baby?
{8926}{9027}I haven't actually told her yet.|I don't wanna scare her off.
{9032}{9136}You have to be honest, or you may|think you're on the same
path...
{9140}{9193}...but you're on different ones.
{9198}{9303}I'm gonna take that book|and beat you to death with it.
{9322}{9393}You are gonna love me so much.
{9398}{9463}I felt bad about|the bachelorette party...
{9468}{9547}...so tonight you're gonna have|a bachelor party.
{9552}{9668}I got this number from a guy at work|and I hired a stripper
for you.
{9682}{9767}I'm going in the wife hall of fame!
{9772}{9879}- Honey, I don't want a stripper.|- Will you let the lady
talk?
{9900}{9985}Come on, it'll be fun.|It'll make me feel better.
{9990}{10127}I appreciate it, but it's a little|creepy. I'm not a bachelor
anymore.
{10133}{10243}Just think of it as|a two-month anniversary present.
{10249}{10349}Sure. One year is paper,|but two months is lap dance.
{10381}{10479}Please, I feel so bad.|Just watch the hot woman get naked!
{10496}{10578}- Fine, but I'm only doing this for you.|- Yeah!
{10609}{10657}And Joey.
{10663}{10793}- Who else do you wanna invite?|- Ross and Joey is
embarrassing enough.
{10798}{10880}I can't make it.|I'm seeing Mona tonight.
{10886}{10974}Why cancel a real date|to go to a fake bachelor party?
{10980}{11060}I'm sorry.|I gotta cancel tonight, baby.
{11169}{11293}I'm sorry I won't make it to your|imaginary wedding. I'm
busy that day.
{11314}{11431}I already have a unicorn baptism|and a leprechaun bar
mitzvah.
{11497}{11538}I know. I panicked.
{11543}{11660}I didn't want him yelling at me|like I was some '74 Latour.
{11666}{11708}It's Lafite.
{11717}{11801}The '74 Latour is actually|drinking quite nicely.
{11847}{11927}I'm gonna tell him.|I'm gonna be strong.
{11943}{11985}I just called a friend.
{12002}{12103}I think I may be able|to book the Plaza on short notice.
{12128}{12168}Really?
{12178}{12213}The Plaza?
{12218}{12272}Oh, Daddy!
{12301}{12394}- Daddy, I need to talk to you.|- What is it, sweetie?
{12435}{12504}Ross and I aren't getting married.
{12509}{12567}- I'm sorry.|- I don't believe this!
{12572}{12663}- Stay calm, please.|- How do you expect me to stay calm?
{12668}{12757}This is unacceptable, Rachel.|And I wanna know why!
{12762}{12833}Is it because that punk|won't marry you?
{12839}{12936}- Is that it?|- Yes. He says I'm damaged goods.
{13142}{13202}You nervous about getting married?
{13266}{13308}What are you doing?
{13318}{13422}Pretend it's a real bachelor party.|It'll be more fun.
{13428}{13530}All right. I can't believe|tomorrow's the big day.
{13559}{13645}You're never gonna be|with another woman.
{13649}{13760}You have to wake up|to the same face every day...
{13764}{13859}...until you finally have|the sweet release of death.
{13892}{13969}You're right. This is more fun.
{14000}{14052}That's her! Okay, come on!
{14282}{14333}Which one of you is Chandler?
{14338}{14383}That's me!
{14416}{14441}That's me.
{14477}{14550}Joey Tribbiani. Big fan.
{14577}{14651}- Is that a bedroom?|- Yeah, right over there.
{14656}{14703}Whenever you're ready.
{14757}{14792}That was weird.
{14804}{14898}- Why would she go in the bedroom?|- I'm waiting.
{15115}{15223}- So she's a...|- Yeah, that's one naked hooker.
{15250}{15353}I love your place.|Where is this guy from?
{15358}{15438}That's an 18th-century artifact|from Calcutta.
{15443}{15475}Oh. Wow.
{15482}{15587}So you're more than just dinosaurs.
{15603}{15648}So much more.
{15797}{15858}Oh, my God! I am so sorry!
{15863}{15917}Forget it. It's from Pier 1.
{16023}{16057}Sorry.
{16150}{16234}Think you can knock up my daughter|and not marry her?
{16240}{16298}I ought to kill you!
{16355}{16443}This is actually not|a great time for me.
{16555}{16644}So come on.|Explain yourself, Geller.
{16649}{16720}- You got Rachel pregnant!|- You got her pregnant?
{16726}{16769}- Who did?|- You did!
{16802}{16903}Yes, but it was a one-night thing.|It meant nothing.
{16908}{17001}Oh? Really? My daughter means nothing?
{17007}{17099}No, sir. She means a lot to me.|I love Rachel.
{17104}{17166}- What?|- But not that way.
{17171}{17243}I'm not in love.|I love her like a friend.
{17247}{17332}So you get her in trouble|and refuse to marry her?
{17337}{17442}I offered to marry her.|But I didn't want to.
{17480}{17552}Why not? You wanted to be|with this tramp?
{17556}{17588}Tramp?
{17593}{17678}I'm sorry. Dr. Green, Mona.|Mona, Dr. Green.
{17718}{17805}I can't believe there is|a naked hooker in there!
{17810}{17875}Maybe she's a hooker|and a stripper...
{17879}{17951}...but she got confused|about what to do.
{17966}{18052}Maybe. Technically, she stripped.|We just missed it.
{18145}{18183}Ma'am?
{18211}{18263}Are you also a stripper?
{18269}{18344}No, but I can pretend to strip.|Costs extra.
{18349}{18422}Here's the extras:|Handcuffs, spanking...
{18485}{18549}Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you.
{18554}{18643}Getting her husband a hooker.|That's pretty funny.
{18659}{18759}That is funny. Maybe for my birthday|she'll murder someone.
{18764}{18881}I'll bet Ross was in on it.|He was conveniently busy.
{18892}{18982}- You mind if I smoke in here?|- Actually, I'd rather...
{18998}{19087}Go ahead. We're gonna have to|burn that room, anyway.
{19132}{19224}- How could you hide this?|- I wanted to tell you, but...
{19229}{19318}You'd get what you wanted,|then dump her, like Rachel.
{19324}{19428}Hey, I did not dump Rachel.|Nor are we still together.
{19511}{19548}Can l...?
{19590}{19653}We'll just let the machine get that.
{19681}{19749}"Ross", "it's Joey."|{y:i}There's a hooker here.
{19754}{19828}{y:i}We thought you'd|{y:i}know something about it.
{19833}{19878}No! No! No!
{19884}{19912}No!
{19917}{19973}I need to lie down.
{20084}{20151}Tonight's the bachelor party?
{20156}{20248}- Thanks for that number.|- No problem. Who's the party for?
{20253}{20334}- My husband.|- You hired your husband a hooker?
{20343}{20402}- She's a stripper.|- No, a hooker.
{20423}{20511}- Is that a name for strippers?|- Lf they're hookers.
{20516}{20593}Stu, I can't believe you did this.
{20598}{20645}You're sure she's a hooker?
{20651}{20767}Either that, or she's the best,|most expensive date I ever
had.
{20839}{20968}- Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.|- Why would she do
that?
{20974}{21045}Maybe she wants you|to learn something.
{21094}{21193}Is there anything|you're really bad at, sexually?
{21210}{21291}This is the worst|bachelor party ever.
{21302}{21389}- What's taking you boys so long?|- In a minute!
{21395}{21460}What's gonna happen in a minute?
{21470}{21529}You should ask her to leave.
{21535}{21583}- Why me?|- It's your party.
{21594}{21702}- Which is why you should do it.|- No, you do it.
{21707}{21807}Rock, paper, scissors|for who tells the whore to leave.
{21885}{21959}- What?|- I miss this.
{21965}{22045}I don't think we've|done this before.
{22052}{22110}No, I miss hanging out with you.
{22116}{22191}- We still hang out.|- Not like we used to.
{22199}{22269}Remember? We used to be inseparable.
{22275}{22388}You know, now it's like|things are different.
{22394}{22494}Well, you know, things are different.|I'm married now.
{22500}{22578}Don't get me wrong,|I'm happy for you guys.
{22584}{22708}I just miss hanging out.|Just us, you know?
{22735}{22780}Yeah, I miss that too.
{22786}{22864}From now on,|we'll make time to hang out.
{22870}{22938}You got it. Come here.
{23007}{23042}Oh, God.
{23048}{23140}Listen, I am this close|to robbing you guys.
{23163}{23211}She's a hooker!|She's a...
{23265}{23350}Hi. We spoke on the phone.
{23466}{23532}So your dad dropped by.
{23537}{23590}He's a pleasant man.
{23595}{23676}- Oh, no.|- I better go.
{23828}{23904}Just over here.|I can't miss the fight.
{23910}{23953}Ross, I am so sorry.
{23959}{24043}I'll straighten this out|tomorrow in person.
{24048}{24087}Or via e-mail.
{24109}{24228}I don't care about your dad.|Mona is totally freaked out!
{24234}{24317}I'll fix that too.|What's her e-mail?
{24343}{24415}I'll fix this.|I swear I'll talk to her.
{24421}{24462}Okay. Thank you.
{24487}{24568}That's it?|You call that a fight?
{24573}{24689}"We were on a break!" "No we weren't!"|What happened to you
two?
{24830}{24912}Thank you so much|for coming back over.
{24937}{24983}Oh, good. You're here.
{24989}{25076}And I was worried that|it would be uncomfortable.
{25081}{25128}Mona, just hear me out.
{25134}{25228}I'm sorry about my father|yelling at you.
{25233}{25318}But you held your own.|You have to tell me how.
{25323}{25378}- Focus.|- Okay.
{25395}{25459}Yes, Ross and I used to date.
{25464}{25544}And yes, we are gonna have a baby.
{25550}{25645}But we are definitely not|getting back together.
{25651}{25738}- How can I be sure?|- We drove each other crazy.
{25748}{25888}He was possessive, jealous.|He couldn't let the little
things go.
{25894}{25944}Trying to date this woman.
{25950}{26058}None of that compared|to how kind and gentle...
{26063}{26116}...and thoughtful he is.
{26122}{26192}You probably shouldn't touch me.
{26201}{26288}I don't want something so complicated.
{26293}{26374}But what relationship|is not complicated?
{26380}{26448}We all have our baggage.|You must too.
{26454}{26529}Why else would you still be single?
{26534}{26594}I'm so gonna leave right now.
{26668}{26717}Should I leave this open?
{26737}{26827}I'm not sure.|Why didn't you just tell me?
{26832}{26909}It has nothing to do|with how I feel.
{26915}{27023}- You still should have told me.|- I was going to...
{27028}{27143}...but I thought you should hear it|from Rachel's father.
{27163}{27207}I made a mistake...
{27213}{27321}...but it's only because|I really like you. Really.
{27344}{27458}Okay. I guess you can|close the door now.
{27730}{27831}Forgot my purse.|Oh, you guys made up.
{27882}{27947}Good kisser, isn't he?|I'm going!
{28090}{28168}I swear I didn't know|she was a hooker.
{28197}{28233}You let her smoke?
{28248}{28382}Her ass-print is still on our quilt.|Really want to talk
about smoking?
{28407}{28473}I'm gonna make this up to you.
{28478}{28519}I promised a stripper...
{28565}{28657}...and you're gonna get a stripper.
{28688}{28732}- Monica, wait.|- What?
{28753}{28802}Carry on.
{29180}{29284}These tennis shoes are so tight.
{29300}{29406}- I think I'll take them off.|- Could you not narrate?
{29435}{29485}Gotcha, sailor.
{29677}{29746}{y:i}Just because|{y:i}you're not in love...
{29815}{29896}- You told your dad the truth.|- An hour ago.
{29918}{29983}- Wanna go see a movie?|- Yes.
{30039}{30094}Bye, Dad.
{30204}{30294}{y:i}It's unacceptable! What does love|{y:i}have to do with
it?
{30300}{30384}{y:i}There are more important things|{y:i}than love.
{30477}{30583}{y:i}You have to think about|{y:i}the consequences of your
decisions!
{30630}{30742}I do think about|the consequences of my decisions!
{30764}{30823}What gives you the right to...?
{30828}{30883}Go to hell!
{30959}{31082}Stupid guy on my phone.
{31198}{31223}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 9
{110}{173}Did you know that during pregnancy...
{178}{305}...your fingers swell up to twice|their size and never go back?
{316}{372}Oh, my God! Let me see that.
{400}{475}You fall for it every time.
{495}{568}Hey! I brought you|my old maternity clothes.
{574}{692}Oh, Pheebs, that's so sweet.|Oh, those are so cute!
{698}{798}Look. See how they expand|as the baby grows?
{804}{930}And after the baby's born|they're great for shoplifting melons.
{980}{1059}Good, you're all here.|Thanksgiving, 4:00.
{1064}{1180}Guess who I invited? Remember|Will Culvert from high school?
{1186}{1239}- No.|- He was in Ross' class.
{1245}{1356}Marching band, was kind of|overweight. Really overweight.
{1362}{1400}I was his thin friend.
{1454}{1559}I don't remember. Are you talking|about your imaginary
boyfriend?
{1564}{1635}No, that was Jared.
{1662}{1755}Wow. Haven't thought about him|in a long time.
{1810}{1916}Will's here on business|so I invited him here.
{1921}{2026}- That's nice.|- Oh, he's lost a bunch of weight.
{2032}{2115}He looks good.|Okay, I mean really gorgeous.
{2224}{2335}- I still love Chandler.|- Wouldn't hurt you to say it.
{2372}{2454}Just so you know,|I'm not gonna make a turkey.
{2470}{2524}- What?|- Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.
{2530}{2635}- Phoebe!|- Turkeys are intelligent animals.
{2642}{2753}No, they're not! They're ugly|and stupid and delicious!
{2758}{2877}It's not just Phoebe. Chandler doesn't|eat Thanksgiving
food...
{2883}{2945}...and Rachel has|her poultry aversion.
{2950}{3031}I had to leave when you had|that chicken.
{3036}{3147}I thought that was because|I put it on my hand and made it
walk.
{3176}{3294}It's not worth it to make|a whole turkey. It's a lot of work.
{3300}{3359}But you gotta have turkey!
{3366}{3478}Thanksgiving with no turkey is like|Fourth of July with no
pie.
{3483}{3560}Or Friday with no two pizzas.
{3586}{3671}Fine. But there's gonna|be a ton left over.
{3676}{3737}No, I will finish that turkey.
{3742}{3836}You can eat almost an entire turkey|in one sitting?
{3842}{3984}That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani!|This is what we do.
{3990}{4085}We may not be great|thinkers or world leaders...
{4092}{4204}...we don't read a lot or run fast,|but damn it, we can eat!
{4228}{4277}The One With the Rumor
{5088}{5159}{y:i}Four wide receivers. On third and 18.
{5166}{5299}Isn't it weird how next year|there will be a baby at the
table?
{5372}{5461}Rachel's. But good to know|where you're at.
{5478}{5509}- Hey!|- Hey!
{5516}{5561}- Happy Thanksgiving.|- You too!
{5568}{5612}- Can I help?|- Yes.
{5618}{5691}Chandler usually helps|but he's into the game.
{5698}{5816}Could you fold these napkins?|I'm gonna go check on the yams.
{5822}{5912}No, sweetie. No, not like that.
{5918}{5992}We're not at a barn dance.
{5998}{6085}Fold them like swans.|I showed you at Christmas.
{6090}{6176}Yeah, it all just came|screaming back to me.
{6242}{6321}- So how's the game?|- I have no idea.
{6328}{6381}- What?|- I'm pretending to watch...
{6386}{6438}...so I don't have to help out.
{6464}{6606}I don't believe you!|That is brilliant!
{6618}{6745}- And Monica has no idea?|- No. I just yell stuff at the TV.
{6768}{6841}'Ey! What? 'Ey!
{6876}{6968}- Your team winning?|- Anderson just scored again.
{6974}{7041}There is no Anderson.
{7076}{7146}I wanna get in on this. Hey, Mon?
{7152}{7256}I can't help you.|I didn't realize this game was on.
{7262}{7331}- You like football?|- Normally, I don't.
{7338}{7429}But, you know, Green Bay is playing.
{7442}{7546}- You like Green Bay?|- It's only my favorite bay.
{7824}{7922}- Happy Thanksgiving.|- Will, I'm so glad that you came.
{7928}{7972}You must've lost...
{7978}{8088}150 pounds. I'll be on one of those|Subway commercials.
{8136}{8241}- A pie!|- It's no fat, no sugar, no dairy.
{8248}{8331}- It's no good. Throw it out.|- Meet some people.
{8338}{8408}This is my husband, Chandler.|This is Will.
{8414}{8529}Oh, hey. I'd shake your hand|but I'm really into the game.
{8534}{8646}Plus, it'd be better for my ego|if we didn't stand together.
{8696}{8733}- This is Phoebe.|- Hi.
{8750}{8836}Hey. Wow!
{8896}{8945}Well done.
{8950}{9074}- Wanna give me a hand?|- I can't get over how great you look.
{9080}{9216}- You too. You're so fit.|- I'm watching but I'm not deaf.
{9236}{9342}- I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.|- Great, I love Ross.
{9348}{9416}Good. And Rachel Greene too.
{9494}{9579}- Is there a problem?|- No. It's okay.
{9586}{9679}It's just... God, I hated her.
{9696}{9732}- What?|- I hated her.
{9738}{9814}She was horrible to me in high school.
{9820}{9961}But hey, that was a long time ago.|Might be fun to see her
again.
{9968}{10051}Got any cakes or cookies|or something?
{10086}{10157}No, Will! No!
{10162}{10224}It's been a while since we screamed.
{10230}{10302}- Oh, okay. No!|- Come on!
{10308}{10401}Damn you, ref! You burn in hell!
{10488}{10592}What are you doing?|You've got an entire turkey to eat.
{10598}{10684}Let me explain to you how|the human body works.
{10690}{10756}I have to warm up my stomach first.
{10762}{10849}- Eating chips is like stretching.|- Okay.
{10854}{10971}- Tribbianis never get full.|- I'm here to tell you
something.
{10978}{11081}You can eat and eat, but nothing|will ever fill that void.
{11124}{11263}- Who the hell is this guy?|- This is Will, from high
school.
{11272}{11302}- Will!|- Ross!
{11308}{11449}Hey, you came! Man, you|look incredible! Hot stuff!
{11476}{11550}- Hot stuff?|- It's good to see you, man.
{11556}{11623}Yeah. You too. So, what are you up to?
{11638}{11731}- I'm a commodities broker.|- That sounds interesting.
{11736}{11798}- Yeah, it's not.|- Oh.
{11804}{11878}- But I'm rich and thin.|- Oh.
{11884}{11996}I haven't seen you since|Lance Davis' graduation party.
{12002}{12044}That was such a fun night.
{12050}{12150}Would've been good if we had|gotten in, but still fun.
{12156}{12267}We were lame. Do you remember|how into dinosaurs we were?
{12334}{12403}- Yeah.|- So, what do you do now?
{12448}{12509}So how long are you in town?
{12538}{12622}- Hi.|- Hey, sweetie. Oh, good.
{12628}{12663}Rachel Greene.
{12706}{12770}Oh, that's right.|Are you gonna be okay?
{12776}{12922}Oh, I'll be fine. It's just...|God, I hate her, Ross! I hate
her!
{12972}{13026}High school was a long time ago.
{13032}{13105}Look at her standing there|with those yams.
{13110}{13245}My two greatest enemies: Rachel Greene|and complex
carbohydrates.
{13278}{13323}Oh, my God. Who is that?
{13354}{13480}- That's Will, from high school.|- Oh! I do not remember
him.
{13486}{13617}Wow, really got that sexy|smoldering thing going on.
{13716}{13808}Oh, my God. Look at the way|he's just staring at me.
{13814}{13877}He's trying to mouth something to me.
{13884}{13970}I hate you!
{13994}{14053}- Okay, dinner's ready!|- Okay!
{14058}{14151}- Solid effort. Solid effort.|- Oh, so who won?
{14156}{14212}- Green Bay.|- Detroit.
{14218}{14278}- What?|- The Lions technically won.
{14284}{14402}But it was a moral victory|for the Green Bay Mermen.
{14474}{14574}Hi! Will, right?|Right, hi. I'm Rachel Greene.
{14580}{14701}- Oh, I remember you.|- Really? Aren't you sweet?
{14706}{14830}I gotta tell you, I'm having|the hardest time placing you.
{14836}{14893}Hang on! I think I remember you.
{14900}{15030}Did we fool around at|Lance Davis' graduation party?
{15046}{15125}- You are unbelievable.|- Thank you.
{15148}{15272}Rachel? Why don't you sit here?|And Will, you sit way over
there.
{15414}{15497}That's it? I can eat that, no problem.
{15502}{15629}- At least give me a challenge.|- This is Chandler's
chicken.
{15668}{15742}This is the turkey.
{15766}{15841}Oh. How big is that?
{15846}{15977}- About 19 pounds.|- It's like me when I was born.
{15998}{16125}- Who would like some yams? Will?|- You'd like that,
wouldn't you?
{16164}{16234}What? Oh, can we please keep|the chicken...
{16240}{16300}...and the turkey on the other side?
{16306}{16395}- The smell is just...|- Typical.
{16440}{16495}- What?|- I said it was typical.
{16502}{16648}Typical of you. Queen Rachel does|whatever she wants in
Rachel-land.
{16754}{16798}Seriously, who is this guy?
{16832}{16898}Sorry, do you have a problem with me?
{16904}{17024}- I don't know. Do I? Do I?|- I think you do.
{17064}{17129}You were mean to him in high school.
{17134}{17246}- You made my life miserable.|- I had no idea. I'm sorry.
{17252}{17340}Well, you should be.|Screw it. Bring on the yams.
{17350}{17388}But you worked so hard.
{17394}{17452}- Yams!|- Okay.
{17518}{17627}I'm real sorry for whatever|I did to you in high school.
{17634}{17702}It wasn't just me. We had a club.
{17708}{17825}- You had a club?|- The "I Hate Rachel Greene Club"!
{17830}{17918}So you all just joined together|to hate me?
{17924}{18026}- Who else was in this club?|- Me and Ross.
{18134}{18227}No need to point.|She knows who Ross is.
{18392}{18494}- You were in an "I Hate Rachel" club?|- Yes, he was.
{18500}{18529}No, no.
{18570}{18711}- So who else was in this club?|- That exchange student from
Thailand.
{18716}{18816}But I don't think he knew what it was.
{18822}{18934}We went out for two years|and you never told me?
{18940}{19022}You went out with her? We had a pact.
{19050}{19198}- It's not like it was binding forever.|- It had the word
"eternity" in it.
{19218}{19285}Monica? Did you know about this?
{19292}{19390}I didn't. Is that why you used|to lock the bedroom door?
{19396}{19480}- Yeah.|- A little relieved, I gotta say.
{19524}{19636}Look, Rach, I'm sorry, okay?|I was a stupid kid, okay?
{19642}{19755}- The only reason I joined...|- Cofounded.
{19786}{19869}Cofounded the club, was that|I was in love with you.
{19874}{19968}If you think about it,|the "I Hate Rachel Club"...
{19974}{20045}...was really|the "I Love Rachel Club."
{20052}{20126}But it was really|the "I Hate Rachel Club."
{20132}{20235}So you'd get together|and say mean things about me?
{20242}{20345}- We did a little more than that.|- No, no, no.
{20356}{20390}What else did you do?
{20396}{20495}- We started a rumor.|- What rumor?
{20502}{20597}Come on, Will.|Take off your shirt and tell us.
{20678}{20740}- Ross?|- It was no big deal.
{20746}{20885}We said that... The rumor was that...
{20892}{21020}...you had both male and female|reproductive parts.
{21042}{21116}- What?|- That's right. We said your parents...
{21122}{21256}...decided to raise you as a girl,|but you still had a hint
of a penis.
{21262}{21329}- Oh, my God!|- You started that?
{21334}{21442}- You heard that?|- Everyone at our school heard it!
{21448}{21526}You were the hermaphrodite|cheerleader?
{21532}{21578}Oh, no!
{21610}{21713}It makes sense. This is why|Adam Carter wouldn't go out with
me.
{21718}{21790}Why Billy would just stay|in this region.
{21796}{21895}Billy's gay now, so that one's|not really our fault.
{21920}{22010}- Why didn't you tell me?|- I thought it might be true.
{22016}{22120}I was afraid that you were gonna cry|and then show it to me.
{22256}{22339}Stop staring! There's nothing there!|It's not true!
{22344}{22420}I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.
{22766}{22838}You are my Everest.
{22844}{22948}- You don't have to finish.|- I do. Otherwise, what's next?
{22954}{23079}Today I can't finish a turkey,|but tomorrow I eat half a
Power Bar...
{23086}{23163}...wrap it up and put it|in the fridge? No!
{23170}{23293}I gotta change my pants. What was|I thinking? Jeans have no
give.
{23366}{23488}Listen to what Sean McMahon|wrote in my yearbook senior
year.
{23494}{23612}"Dear Rach, you're such a great|person. " Not girl, "person.
"
{23618}{23709}I think you're reading a little|too much into it.
{23716}{23808}"You're a great person.|Sorry about your weenie."
{23898}{24014}You want me to call everyone|and tell them it wasn't true?
{24020}{24080}- Yes.|- Also, tell them I'm skinny now.
{24092}{24154}Oh! Me too!
{24160}{24244}I won't call anybody.|It was a million years ago.
{24250}{24380}I don't care. You told people|that I was half and half!
{24386}{24476}I never did anything to hurt you|in high school.
{24494}{24539}That's not totally true.
{24546}{24575}- What?|- What?
{24580}{24647}You did start that rumor about Ross...
{24654}{24767}...making out with Mrs. Altmann,|our 50-year-old librarian.
{24782}{24833}How did you know that?
{24908}{24990}- It's true?|- No.
{24996}{25109}I saw you going at it|behind the card catalog.
{25114}{25175}Mrs. Altmann? She also made out...
{25182}{25278}...with Ta-Taka-Ki-Kek|before he went back to Thailand.
{25306}{25393}In high school you made out|with a 50-year-old woman?
{25400}{25498}- Hey, she didn't look 50!|- Did she look 16?
{25504}{25603}There's a picture of her|in the yearbook actually.
{25616}{25709}- Wow.|- She didn't photograph well!
{25714}{25849}She wasn't familiar with the process,|having sat for oil
paintings.
{25886}{25998}How did this happen? Did she lure|you to an early-bird
dinner?
{26144}{26278}I was working late in the library.|It was just the two of
us.
{26284}{26378}She needed some help|with her word jumble.
{26388}{26478}And one thing led to another.
{26492}{26628}If you must know,|Anita was very gentle and tender.
{26700}{26758}May she rest in peace.
{26792}{26898}- Didn't she walk with a cane?|- Only when it was damp!
{26908}{27028}I can't believe you told people|about this. Everybody knew?
{27034}{27138}- You know what? I'm back in the club!|- Yeah!
{27146}{27190}- I wanna join!|- Phoebe?
{27196}{27300}I never got to be in a club.|I didn't go to high school.
{27306}{27417}But three of us would meet behind|a dumpster to learn
French.
{27422}{27494}Fine, you can have|your stupid, little club.
{27500}{27606}But what you did to me is way worse|than what I did to you.
{27612}{27694}- You gave me a teeny weenie.|- Yeah!
{27770}{27850}You're silly.|Even with that rumor you were...
{27856}{27976}...one of the most popular girls.|Everyone wanted to be like
you.
{27982}{28070}One girl stuffed her pants|with a Tootsie Roll.
{28076}{28118}Wow.
{28150}{28268}If it weren't for her rumor,|no one would've known who you
were.
{28274}{28377}- She put you on the map.|- As a romancer of the elderly.
{28406}{28482}Mrs. Altmann used to be pretty.
{28488}{28584}The eyes did still sparkle.
{28604}{28713}This stuff is so way in the past.|You've been through so
much.
{28720}{28809}You got so much more|important stuff going on.
{28814}{28873}Can't you just let this go?
{28932}{29022}- She's right.|- We are having a baby together.
{29028}{29073}Hold on.
{29104}{29169}- You got her pregnant?|- Yeah.
{29180}{29236}- Are you getting married?|- No.
{29242}{29354}So you knocked her up but you're|not gonna marry her. Dude.
{29426}{29503}- Anybody?|- Okay.
{29608}{29672}It's exactly how I imagined|it would be.
{29738}{29803}All right, where's that turkey?
{29916}{30053}- Those are my maternity pants!|- No, these are my
Thanksgiving pants!
{30222}{30299}Well, that's it. I'm done.
{30358}{30407}Here come the meat sweats.
{30514}{30581}Well, Joey, we're all|very proud of you.
{30586}{30699}I believe we can expect a call|from the president any moment
now.
{30706}{30810}- Anything we can do?|- Just nobody press on my stomach.
{30816}{30888}You can keep those pants, by the way.
{30918}{31015}What you got there?|What is that, pie?
{31020}{31120}- You want some?|- Just cut me a little sliver.
{31170}{31223}Little bigger.
{31248}{31288}Little bigger.
{31294}{31368}What are you afraid of?|Cut me a real piece!
{31494}{31518}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 10
{85}{163}- Hey.|- Hey. So, what do you think?
{187}{273}New haircut? Necklace? Dress?
{279}{335}Boots? Boots!
{369}{482}They're a little more than I usually|spend on boots or rent.
{493}{551}- Oh, my God.|- I know.
{557}{688}- I'll miss being able to buy food.|- They just looked so good.
{693}{734}The saleswoman was like:
{739}{830}- "These are too pricey for you."|- She had a point.
{847}{920}- Hey.|- Hi. Oh, my God.
{925}{1058}- Oh, Monica, those boots are amazing.|- They're mine!
{1073}{1215}- Too bad we'll have to return them.|- Return them? They're
gonna hear you.
{1221}{1315}I'm not returning them.|I'll wear them all the time.
{1321}{1368}I love the compliments.
{1375}{1491}Have you ever had something|so beautiful, everyone wants it?
{1497}{1611}- I have you.|- Nice try. I'm keeping the boots.
{1617}{1666}The One With Monica's Boots
{2545}{2615}That's right. I love you.
{2621}{2720}And I'm gonna play with you|all the time.
{2725}{2820}How can you let him talk|to your crotch like that?
{2873}{2970}- He's talking to the baby.|- Oh! Okay.
{3009}{3095}When he said, "I can't wait|for your first words"...
{3101}{3155}...I thought, "There's a trick."
{3199}{3275}I gotta go, you guys.|I'll see you later.
{3281}{3330}- Okay. Bye.|- Bye.
{3361}{3489}Can you do me a favor? My sister|knows you work at Ralph
Lauren...
{3493}{3576}I am not sending|more clothes to prison.
{3581}{3633}- It is a waste.|- Not her.
{3639}{3724}My youngest sister Dina|is interested in fashion.
{3729}{3808}She wants to talk|to someone successful.
{3813}{3906}- I'll talk to my supervisor.|- She wants to talk to you.
{3911}{4031}Really? Oh, my God. I'm successful.
{4037}{4119}- Would you meet with her?|- Have her come by.
{4125}{4243}You'll love her. She's the smartest|of all the Tribbiani
children.
{4249}{4340}Yeah, you know the SATs?|She took them.
{4365}{4467}- Doesn't Ben go to Smithfield School?|- Yeah. Why?
{4473}{4551}- Sting's son goes there.|- He's in Ben's class.
{4557}{4708}You knew and said nothing? With all|the stupid dinosaur stuff
you tell us?
{4713}{4850}Fine, no more dinosaur stuff.|Can I talk about fossils?
{4971}{5041}"Sting's son, 7." There's a picture.
{5047}{5165}What are you reading, "The Kidnapper's|Guide to Manhattan
Schools"?
{5171}{5251}It's an article about|the city's best schools.
{5257}{5354}- So how well do you know Sting?|- I haven't met him.
{5359}{5486}That's too bad. I wanna go to his|concert Friday, but it's
sold out.
{5491}{5578}I know! Why don't you|meet him and get tickets.
{5583}{5644}If you get two, I'll take you.
{5649}{5709}Maybe he'll be there tomorrow.
{5715}{5827}There you go. You're so lucky.|You might meet Sting tomorrow.
{5833}{5893}That's why you have kids.
{6055}{6089}- Hey, guys.|- Hey.
{6095}{6177}Hi, Monica. Hi, boots.
{6205}{6305}See? I'm getting a lot of use|out of them already.
{6311}{6379}You can wear them|with dresses, skirts...
{6385}{6496}Wear them with shorts on the corner|and earn money to pay for
them.
{6519}{6619}- Wow, they're beautiful.|- They hurt so much.
{6627}{6677}- What?|- The guy who made these...
{6683}{6757}...hates feet|and wants to see them die.
{6763}{6862}Give them to me.|I haven't felt my feet in years.
{6867}{6977}I can't. I told Chandler|I'd wear them all the time.
{6983}{7061}- Then return them.|- I can't do that either.
{7067}{7189}The soles are scuffed up, and the|insides are filled with my
blood.
{7237}{7335}Hey, I just picked up Ben|from school.
{7343}{7424}I don't think you did|a very thorough job.
{7429}{7482}I dropped him off at Carol's.
{7487}{7555}Anyway, I'm not gonna|get those tickets.
{7561}{7591}Oh, no. Why not?
{7597}{7688}It turns out Ben and Sting's son|do not get along.
{7693}{7765}- How come?|- Sting's son made fun...
{7771}{7850}...of Ben's moms being "lesbenims."
{7869}{7987}If they don't get along, smooth|things over. Make them be
friends.
{7993}{8077}- You can't force kids to be friends.|- Sure you can.
{8083}{8164}Give them some blocks.|Put them in a playpen.
{8169}{8265}- Playpen? Ben's 7.|- Your kid is 7?
{8275}{8324}He's really small.
{8361}{8454}- Please get the tickets.|- I just can't do it.
{8459}{8550}- Yes, you can. Sting says so himself.|- What?
{8555}{8635}{y:i}Ross can
{8681}{8713}Look, I'm sorry...
{8719}{8795}{y:i}Ross can
{8843}{8927}- Phoebe?|{y:i}- Ross can get me the tickets
{8933}{9030}{y:i}Ross can get me the tickets
{9143}{9211}Here she is: Future fashion superstar.
{9217}{9311}- Oh, Joey, I'm hardly...|- My little sister Dina.
{9317}{9366}Hi, Dina. Nice to meet you.
{9371}{9493}- Thanks so much for meeting with me.|- This is so exciting
for her.
{9499}{9630}Well, I'll let you two "fashists"|get down to business.
{9653}{9704}Okay. All right, Dina.
{9709}{9801}Let's talk about the different|areas of fashion...
{9807}{9857}...you could get involved in.
{9863}{9966}There's design. But you may|need another degree for that.
{9971}{10094}- Sales is great. You get to travel.|- I don't care about
fashion.
{10099}{10180}I'm pregnant. You are too.|You gotta help me.
{10219}{10275}Then there's marketing.
{10827}{10920}- What's wrong?|- Nothing. I just was yawning.
{10947}{11016}Don't forget|my office party's tonight.
{11021}{11076}We don't have to go, do we?
{11081}{11226}I know that you don't like my parties,|but you can wear your
new boots.
{11231}{11319}See? Every cloud has|a supple leather lining.
{11351}{11436}- I don't wanna wear the boots tonight.|- Why not?
{11441}{11544}Your bosses will think|they pay you too much money.
{11549}{11635}Or your assistant will see them|and want a raise.
{11651}{11737}Do you think I work|at a boot-pricing company?
{11743}{11828}I picked out this outfit|the boots don't go with.
{11833}{11948}You said those boots go|with skirts, dresses and pants.
{11953}{12015}Fine, I'll wear the boots.
{12021}{12150}In fact, I'll go into my room|right now and try the outfit
on.
{12245}{12305}Christmas party in my boots!
{12427}{12496}I can't go in there. I can't tell him.
{12501}{12605}It's gonna be okay.|He's been incredibly supportive of me.
{12611}{12713}And if he gets upset,|that's what the meatball sub is for.
{12729}{12771}- Thank you.|- Okay.
{12803}{12887}Hey! It's my fashion girls.
{12943}{13011}- What's wrong?|- Why don't you sit down?
{13017}{13096}Dina has something|she wants to tell you.
{13101}{13206}What's going on?|Is it Mom? Is she sick?
{13213}{13257}Is it Dad's heart?
{13263}{13320}Is that a sandwich?
{13371}{13455}- Mom and Dad are fine.|- Is that a sandwich?!
{13491}{13630}Joey, there's something|that you should know. Dina?
{13663}{13741}- I'm pregnant.|- What?
{13747}{13799}Now. Give him the sandwich!
{13823}{13921}Obviously, this is a mistake.|You can't be pregnant.
{13927}{13992}You have to have sex to get pregnant.
{13997}{14110}Joe, I tried to wait until|I was 25, like you did.
{14117}{14151}What? Dina...
{14237}{14351}I can't believe this. You're|the good one who went to
college!
{14357}{14500}- Both years! Who did this to you?|- Bobby Corso. He's a
real nice guy.
{14507}{14651}- I like him a lot. He's real funny.|- You got pregnant for
"funny"?
{14657}{14754}Dina, if he's funny, laugh!
{14821}{14892}- I'll be back in a while. Stay here!|- Why?
{14897}{14978}I can't look at you right now.
{15027}{15108}- Wow.|- I know.
{15439}{15554}- Oh, there you are, Ben.|- Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing
here?
{15559}{15645}I heard you have a problem|with one of the boys.
{15651}{15757}I thought I'd sit you both down|and make it all okay.
{15763}{15860}Now, the boy's name is Sting's son.
{15877}{15943}Jack? I hate him. He's a jerk.
{15949}{16046}Sometimes people may seem|like jerks on the outside...
{16051}{16114}...but they have famous fathers.
{16127}{16260}- My friend Doug is waiting for me.|- Him, you're friends
with.
{16387}{16534}- Can I help you with something?|- Yes. I'm looking for
Jack's parents.
{16539}{16605}- Are you with a student?|- I'm with Ben.
{16611}{16734}- Are you one of Ben's mothers?|- I am one of Ben's mothers.
{16739}{16795}I'm a lesbian.
{16801}{16892}It was difficult coming out|to my parents.
{16897}{16993}Well, hi. I'm Jenny Boon.|I'm a new teacher here.
{16999}{17114}- I've only met your partner, Carol.|- That would make me
Susan.
{17119}{17262}Are you looking for Jack's parents|to discuss his problems
with Ben?
{17267}{17356}I think the parents|should sit down together.
{17361}{17430}Yeah, let's do that!
{17449}{17482}That sounds good.
{17487}{17599}We should sit down and talk.|Me, Carol and the Stings.
{17605}{17733}- How will I get in touch with them?|- Their number's on the
contact sheet.
{17737}{17855}Could I get a copy of that?|Carol threw it out. She lost
ours.
{17861}{17983}She's such a scatterbrain.|But, man, what a hot piece of
ass.
{18127}{18232}- That party wasn't bad.|- I didn't know there'd be dancing.
{18237}{18286}That was a fun surprise.
{18291}{18391}- I don't see a cab. We should walk.|- No, we can't walk.
{18397}{18467}It's 15 blocks to the subway.|Let's go.
{18473}{18598}Do you think we can get to the subway|if we climb through
that manhole?
{18603}{18676}- What's going on?|- I can't walk, okay?
{18681}{18754}- These boots were a huge mistake.|- What?
{18759}{18881}You were right. I never should've|bought them. They're
killing me.
{18887}{18985}So I was right. This is what|it feels like to be right.
{19013}{19080}It's oddly unsettling.
{19085}{19156}How will we get home?|A piggyback ride?
{19165}{19204}- Hop on.|- Okay, wait.
{19209}{19280}Let me just get my boots off first.
{19413}{19460}Oh, God.
{19567}{19680}I know you're in pain right now,|but I'm a little turned on.
{19777}{19895}Do you worry that you'll be walking|and your baby will slip
out?
{19945}{20021}What college was that, Dina?
{20057}{20109}Oh, my God. Bobby?
{20115}{20206}Hi, Dina. Good to see you.
{20211}{20310}- Joey, what are you doing?|- Just what needs to be done.
{20325}{20429}- Dearly beloved, we're gathered here...|- This is crazy.
{20435}{20512}Don't interrupt me|when I'm talking to God!
{20517}{20603}- Where were we? Do you take this man...|- No!
{20609}{20656}- You'll take him.|- I won't!
{20661}{20706}- You don't get a say.|- I do.
{20711}{20840}- I heard "I do." We're halfway there.|- All right, Joey,
that is enough!
{20845}{20927}As moving as this is,|this is not legal.
{20933}{21086}They don't have a marriage license or|witnesses, and the
groom has one shoe.
{21091}{21188}Yeah, he took the other one off|and hit me with it.
{21193}{21223}What am I to do?
{21229}{21324}They are adults and can make|their own decisions.
{21329}{21435}No, they can't. They were|stupid enough to get knocked up!
{21471}{21554}Contraceptives are not|always effective. Right?
{21571}{21720}- Yeah. We kind of didn't use any.|- Come on, kids, a little
help here!
{21823}{21906}Wow! This place is incredible!
{21959}{22015}Sting's pen...
{22021}{22095}...that he gave to Phoebe.
{22199}{22295}Come on, secret passageway.
{22337}{22390}- Hi.|- Hi.
{22397}{22464}I'm Trudie. You must be Ben's mum.
{22469}{22572}- Why else would I be here?|- Why don't you sit down?
{22577}{22716}They haven't been getting along.|I'm sure there are two
sides to this.
{22721}{22809}But all I've heard|is that Ben's a "poo-poo-head."
{22815}{22887}Won't Jack's father be joining us?
{22893}{22975}I'm sorry.|Jack's father's not available.
{22981}{23091}Then, could we reschedule|for Friday night, perhaps at 8:00?
{23097}{23159}Oh, no, my husband's in concert.
{23165}{23305}Concert. Yeah.|That just put us in quite a pickle.
{23311}{23426}I'm busy before and after|the concert, and he's busy during.
{23431}{23527}So you and I should talk about|Jack and Ben right now.
{23533}{23592}Unless... Unless...
{23597}{23692}Okay, I would be willing|to go to the concert...
{23697}{23771}...all the while thinking|about the children.
{23777}{23886}- Are you here for tickets?|- Thank you. Four would be
great.
{23891}{24019}I'm not giving tickets to someone|who'd use their son like
this.
{24025}{24103}Then you're in luck. Ben's not my son.
{24109}{24182}I've pressed a button|triggering an alarm.
{24187}{24293}- Any minute the police will be here.|- The Police? Here?
{24299}{24350}A reunion?
{24517}{24621}Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.
{24627}{24750}- Oh, wait! Stop, stop, stop!|- Oh, I'm sorry. Do you need a
break?
{24773}{24848}My boots in tan!|Can I see the price?
{24853}{24961}I can see it from right here.|It'll cost you one husband.
{24967}{25085}I can walk the rest of the way now.|Just give me my boots.
{25103}{25186}- I don't have your boots.|- Where are they?
{25191}{25315}Why don't you check in one|of my saddlebags while I chew on
hay?
{25333}{25425}Okay. My God, we gotta go back|and get them!
{25431}{25506}Are you ever gonna|wear the boots again?
{25511}{25658}I'll never wear them again. I just|didn't get a chance to
say goodbye.
{25663}{25730}You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
{25735}{25848}- Okay. All right.|- Okay.
{25855}{25932}Bye, boots. Wait! Half off!
{26003}{26120}Just because they're not getting|married doesn't mean it's a
disaster.
{26125}{26237}- Maybe they have a plan.|- Oh, okay, let's hear their plan.
{26243}{26335}What's the future look like|for Dina and Bobby?
{26365}{26442}I really have high hopes for my band.
{26471}{26553}- You were right. He is funny.|- Now wait a minute.
{26559}{26672}I bet when you told people you wanted|to be an actor they
laughed.
{26677}{26738}Tell us a bit about your band.
{26743}{26880}It's just me and my pal Rooster.|The band's name is
Numbnuts.
{26949}{26979}Really?
{27019}{27097}If you're having a baby,|you should be married.
{27103}{27225}Even if it is to Bobby.|Dude, that's not a compliment.
{27231}{27332}- I knew you wouldn't be supportive.|- What are you gonna
do?
{27337}{27417}Have the baby and raise it|without a husband?
{27423}{27512}You can't be a single mother!|You'll ruin your life!
{27517}{27617}- Am I ruining my life?|- No, it's different for you.
{27623}{27731}You're not some kid|who doesn't know what she's doing.
{27737}{27850}- Excuse me?|- One pregnant woman at a time, please!
{27883}{28006}- I just want you to be okay.|- By forcing her to marry?
{28011}{28061}Maybe.
{28101}{28203}Yeah. So, what kind of music|does Numbnuts...
{28209}{28266}Ah, forget it! I can't!
{28271}{28410}I am scared to death about this. But I|can do it. I just
need some help.
{28415}{28507}- Bobby's gonna be here the whole time.|- You bet.
{28513}{28632}To answer your earlier question,|we're straight up gangster
rap.
{28723}{28812}Rachel's told me how easy|you've made this on her.
{28817}{28958}- Why can't you do that for me?|- Because you're my baby
sister!
{28963}{29082}And you're my big brother,|my favorite guy in the whole
world.
{29087}{29220}I'm not even scared to tell Mom|and Dad. I was scared of
telling you.
{29237}{29307}I'd be scared of them, but all right.
{29313}{29425}I can't stand having this baby|with you mad at me.
{29431}{29495}I want him to have his uncle.
{29503}{29585}Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
{29613}{29705}Of course he's gonna have|his Uncle Joey.
{29727}{29867}We'll be all right. Even if we're not|married, this baby
will be so loved.
{29873}{29952}- And not just by us.|- That's right.
{29959}{30020}By his uncle too.
{30027}{30090}And by you.
{30161}{30286}Bobby, come over here and let them|have a little moment,
okay?
{30379}{30435}Come here.
{30461}{30530}No, seriously, what's wrong with you?
{30649}{30744}You're gonna love me so much.|I got Sting tickets!
{30749}{30838}Oh, my God, I do love you!|How did you do it?
{30843}{30886}Well, let's just say:
{30893}{30970}{y:i}Ross can
{31007}{31064}- Where are the seats?|- Balcony.
{31069}{31126}Is that more than 50 yards away...
{31131}{31219}...from Sting, his wife|or a member of his family?
{31225}{31305}- Yeah.|- Then that's not breaking the law!
{31439}{31463}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 11
{40}{140}Phoebe. Look at that guy|by the window. Wow!
{146}{238}He's awfully short.|And I think he's talking to himself.
{244}{338}And to be completely honest,|he's not that good in bed.
{350}{453}What is wrong with me lately?|It's like, every guy I see.
{459}{506}That guy, for example.
{513}{584}That's not someone|I would be attracted to.
{591}{754}But right now, all I want to do is rip|off his sweatpants and
fanny pack.
{759}{860}Wait! This is about the fourth month|of your pregnancy.
{866}{961}This is normal.|Your hormones start going crazy.
{967}{1044}- Really? This has happened to you?|- Absolutely!
{1051}{1104}And I was carrying triplets.
{1111}{1214}So in medical terms,|I was thrice as randy.
{1220}{1284}This explains so much!
{1290}{1405}Last weekend, I went from store|to store, sitting on Santas'
laps.
{1439}{1583}Yeah, I remember trying to steal a|cardboard cutout of Evander
Holyfield.
{1619}{1742}I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow. Maybe|she can give me a pill or
something.
{1748}{1833}Yeah, that's what you need.|A good pill.
{1849}{1897}The One With Ross' Step Forward
{2821}{2883}- I got our pictures developed.|- Great.
{2890}{2954}Want to see pictures of us skating?
{2995}{3128}Ordinarily, I would love to,|but I am just swamped right now.
{3216}{3303}Where are the ones|that pretzel vendor took of us?
{3310}{3368}Oh, yeah.|Probably at the end.
{3375}{3474}Oh, my God! All he took were pictures|of my breasts.
{3479}{3543}I'm missing picture time!
{3643}{3707}You know, she has a face, Ross.
{3735}{3843}- Okay, here's a good one of us.|- That is a good one!
{3850}{3923}It looks like a holiday card.|With the tree...
{3929}{3985}...and the skaters and the snow.
{3992}{4061}I want to send out cards,|but I never do.
{4068}{4138}Do you want|to send this one out together?
{4240}{4321}Together? Like, to people?
{4327}{4433}Yeah. "Happy Holidays, from Mona|and Ross. " lt'll be cute,
okay?
{4440}{4484}Okay.
{4491}{4556}I gotta go to work. Call me later?
{4563}{4613}- Bye, guys.|- Bye.
{4676}{4746}Congratulations! You just got married!
{4771}{4816}Can you believe that?
{4822}{4890}What's the big deal|about a holiday card?
{4896}{4978}Married couples and families|send out cards.
{4985}{5103}People who just started dating|don't send out cards. Is she
crazy?
{5110}{5179}That's your wife you're talking about!
{5205}{5273}Bing!|And the Bingette!
{5291}{5353}- You remember my boss, Doug.|- Yes. Hi.
{5360}{5466}Good news! The divorce is final.|I signed the papers this a.m.
{5472}{5528}You and Kara divorced?|I'm sorry.
{5534}{5633}Sorry? I finally chewed my leg out|of that bear trap.
{5656}{5752}- Congratulations to you guys.|- No leg-chewing for us.
{5758}{5819}Well, give it time.
{5826}{5923}The divorce, the marriage,|we got a lot to celebrate.
{5929}{5994}We should all go out|to dinner tomorrow.
{6001}{6063}I can't think|of anything we're doing.
{6069}{6137}Why can't I think of anything?
{6143}{6204}Tomorrow.|I'll be out of court by 6.
{6211}{6335}They keep throwing sexual harassment|cases at me, and I knock
them out!
{6341}{6392}Okay, see you tomorrow.
{6398}{6530}We're not seeing him tomorrow. I can't|spend another evening
with that man.
{6536}{6600}Remember how he behaved|at our wedding?
{6606}{6658}Because he wasn't invited.
{6664}{6725}He misbehaved|at our engagement party.
{6731}{6859}Oh, yeah! Urine cuts right through|an ice sculpture, doesn't
it?
{6981}{7071}Hi! I went by the photo shop.|Take a look.
{7077}{7168}Here is a mockup of our card.|What do you think?
{7228}{7265}Looks great.
{7274}{7359}Do you think it should say,|"Love, Ross and Mona"?
{7366}{7476}Well, we haven't said that|to each other yet...
{7483}{7558}...but I guess it's okay|to say it to others.
{7565}{7673}- How many did you want? I'll get 100.|- A hundred?
{7716}{7794}Well, I guess I'll take...
{7801}{7848}Mona?
{7874}{7995}I'm not sure|about the whole card thing.
{8001}{8036}Really? Why not?
{8056}{8149}Sending out a holiday card together?
{8156}{8267}I just don't know|if we're really quite there yet.
{8290}{8366}I didn't think of it that way.|You're right.
{8477}{8528}- Can I ask you something?|- Yes.
{8535}{8578}Where are we?
{8624}{8748}You know, where are we?|Where is this relationship going?
{8875}{8983}I love spending time with you.|I just hope we're moving
forward.
{8989}{9068}We should talk about that,|don't you think?
{9250}{9303}Let's do the card!
{9335}{9432}- What?|- The card! I think we're there!
{9438}{9524}Okay. But I still think|we should have this talk.
{9530}{9573}Really?
{9580}{9651}Even with the card?
{9774}{9904}Dr. Long can't be here today,|so Dr. Schiff will be seeing
you.
{9910}{9989}Okay.|Can I ask you a question?
{9996}{10104}Was it me, or was the guy|who took my blood sample really
cute?
{10111}{10228}You know who I'm talking about?|Bowl haircut, hairy fingers?
{10258}{10373}- Hi, Rachel? I'm Dr. Schiff.|- Yes, you are.
{10404}{10442}So, how's it going?
{10448}{10534}Really, really good.|But enough about me! Come on.
{10541}{10622}Where are you from?|What do you do?
{10635}{10706}- I'm a doctor.|- Right. I meant...
{10712}{10784}...in your spare time.|Do you cook? Ski?
{10791}{10867}Or hang out with your wife,|or girlfriend?
{10873}{10951}I have no wife or girlfriend,|but I do ski.
{10957}{11058}I love to ski!|How amazing is this?
{11076}{11183}- Are you experiencing any discomfort?|- No, I'm very
comfortable.
{11189}{11273}- Any painful gas?|- No!
{11301}{11406}Dr. Schiff!|What kind of question is that?
{11424}{11495}Would you like|to lie down on the table?
{11501}{11588}Would you like me|to lie down on the table?
{11595}{11703}- Is there something going on here?|- Do you feel it too?
{11786}{11874}- Hi.|- How did your doctor's appointment go?
{11881}{11978}Let's see,|they gave me "cute boy" doctor today.
{11984}{12084}In the middle of the exam,|I put my pinkie in his dimple.
{12091}{12168}- Oh, my God!|- Why did you do that?
{12174}{12267}Remember my problem during|my fourth month of pregnancy?
{12273}{12339}Oh, yeah!|The Evander Holyfield phase.
{12346}{12445}Man! You were so hard up,|you practically came on to me.
{12451}{12504}You wish.
{12511}{12586}I could have had you|if I wanted you.
{12593}{12655}Oh, yeah? Come and get it.
{12662}{12733}Okay, even this is turning me on.
{12788}{12884}Ross! How's it going|with you and Mona?
{12891}{12958}Are you guys still together?
{12969}{13079}Yeah, we're moving forward.|You'll be getting our card.
{13085}{13134}You're doing a holiday card?
{13141}{13272}Not just a card. She wants to talk|about where the
relationship is going.
{13278}{13329}Women!
{13336}{13431}I know! Why do you guys need|to have this conversation?
{13437}{13524}No man would ask a woman,|"So where is this going?"
{13530}{13571}Ross, you asked me that.
{13577}{13699}You were a closed book, okay?|I'm not a mind reader!
{13706}{13828}Besides, I hate those conversations.|I'm horrible at them.
Really.
{13835}{13899}Maybe I need some kind of a gesture...
{13906}{13989}...that says we're moving forward|without talking.
{13995}{14054}Like asking her|to move in with you?
{14061}{14106}Smaller than that.
{14117}{14197}- Making her a mix tape?|- Bigger than that.
{14203}{14323}- Give her a key to your apartment.|- We were closer with
the mix tape.
{14330}{14387}Have you said, "I love you"?
{14393}{14464}I don't think I'm quite there yet.
{14471}{14554}But I could say,|"I love spending time with you."
{14560}{14621}- We hate that.|- It's a slap in the face.
{14627}{14744}Forget it. You know what?|I'll just have the conversation.
{14751}{14879}I'll just say I like things the way|they are, and hope for
the best.
{14886}{14929}What do you think, Rach?
{14936}{15013}I think if it was|a little colder in here...
{15019}{15108}...I could see your nipples|through that sweater.
{15189}{15274}Bing? We're all set for tonight, 8:00.
{15280}{15341}We can't do it. Monica has to work.
{15347}{15409}My ex-wife didn't work.
{15416}{15498}Unless you call turning|into her mother "work."
{15526}{15586}Fine. Tomorrow night then.
{15592}{15681}- Tomorrow's no good for her, either.|- Why not?
{15710}{15759}It's the semifinals...
{15766}{15867}...of her bocce ball tournament.
{15890}{16038}What's going on, Bing? Does your wife|have a problem with me
or something?
{16044}{16106}Well, now you're just talking crazy.
{16112}{16178}Then why can't we all go out together?
{16186}{16259}Because we split up.
{16266}{16328}Monica and I split up.
{16334}{16370}Hold me.
{16409}{16514}Good God, Bing. Well, I can't say|I'm altogether surprised.
{16521}{16644}I saw the way she looked at you,|and there was no love
there.
{16668}{16764}And the way she looked at me,|pure lust.
{16770}{16888}What would really help me through|this tough time is choking
someone.
{16896}{16973}Bing, my boy,|we're gonna get you over this.
{16980}{17066}Here's the plan:|We're going to a strip club!
{17072}{17143}Oh, no!|Monica would freak.
{17153}{17228}But to hell with that bitch!
{17294}{17348}Here we go.
{17369}{17520}Mona, it's time we had a conversation|about where things are
with us.
{17526}{17613}Yeah, I think I suggested that.
{17629}{17681}We are so...
{17808}{17943}Well, I really like you.|And I love hanging out with you.
{17950}{18063}And I'm having a lot of fun.
{18161}{18198}Okay.
{18204}{18318}There's no point in spending time|with someone if it's just
fun.
{18325}{18424}It's gotta be going somewhere, right?
{18430}{18503}So where is it going?
{18628}{18729}That's the real question.
{18788}{18868}And the answer is...
{18874}{18958}...it's going somewhere...
{18965}{19018}...fun.
{19044}{19169}I know what you're thinking.|Fun was fine for you 10 years
ago.
{19176}{19258}But you're not getting any younger.
{19264}{19328}No! I mean, not you.|Not you.
{19334}{19403}You are getting younger!
{19410}{19553}You're getting younger by the second.|What's your secret?
{19595}{19753}- I'm sorry, so where are we?|- Well, to sum up...
{19821}{19949}...we're having fun.|You look young.
{20040}{20109}- Okay...|- But that's not enough.
{20177}{20233}So...
{20288}{20394}...here's a key to my apartment.
{20400}{20471}- Really?|- Really.
{20512}{20573}You don't think this is too fast?
{20713}{20777}You gave her a key|to your apartment?
{20782}{20894}Not just a key.|I gave her the only key!
{20922}{21029}I am now a homeless person|in a very serious relationship!
{21091}{21210}- Ross, how did the conversation go?|- Great. I live on the
street.
{21216}{21273}Where?
{21300}{21353}- Hi.|- Okay, Monica, Rachel...
{21359}{21440}...this is my friend Roger.|- Hi, Roger.
{21446}{21525}I'll get us some drinks.|Could you help me?
{21531}{21599}Yeah, okay.
{21699}{21783}He's here to have sex with you.
{21880}{21927}- What?|- You're welcome.
{21956}{22041}- Phoebe, no!|- It's okay. He's a virgin.
{22154}{22268}Rachel, I was talking to this guy.|I think he'll have sex
with you.
{22292}{22334}Let's leave them alone.
{22341}{22476}No! I don't care what my hormones are|doing! I won't do it
with some guy!
{22485}{22609}Fine! Then you tell Roger, because|he was really looking
forward to this!
{22991}{23088}Bing! Look at those twin sisters|dancing together.
{23110}{23188}Let me buy you a lap dance|with those girls.
{23194}{23309}That's all right, sir.|And that's just one girl.
{23316}{23399}- Bing, what's this?|- It's a hand.
{23406}{23459}You use it as a drink holder.
{23466}{23587}It's a wedding ring. Get rid of it.|We'll throw it in the
East River!
{23593}{23626}- No!|- Yes!
{23632}{23778}I did it, and I felt a lot better! You|might even hit a
seagull in the head.
{23798}{23892}Okay. I'm gonna need a bunch|of extra keys.
{23898}{23999}Apparently, I give them away|for no reason at all.
{24035}{24118}Ross, what's going on?|You're changing the lock?
{24124}{24153}No.
{24160}{24207}That guy is.
{24217}{24339}You give me a key to your apartment,|and then you change the
lock?
{24353}{24408}Good luck, buddy.
{24473}{24608}I thought we were moving forward. Now|you're sending me
these mixed signals.
{24615}{24683}What are you trying to tell me?
{24695}{24773}I'm trying to tell you...
{24793}{24860}...I made you a mix tape.
{24894}{24965}- What?|- I love you.
{25091}{25163}And I love spending time with you.
{25317}{25418}- Hi, honey, I'm home.|- From the tequila factory?
{25441}{25558}To avoid going to dinner with Doug,|I told him you and I
split up.
{25564}{25634}So he took me|to these sleazy strip clubs.
{25641}{25754}When I wouldn't give him my wedding|ring, he threw a can at
a bird.
{25770}{25860}Come here.|I can breathe through my mouth.
{25867}{25938}- Sweetie.|- You know what the worst part was?
{25945}{26014}I saw what my life would be|without you.
{26021}{26111}It was like "It's a Wonderful Life"|with lap dances.
{26159}{26229}Please promise|that you'll never leave me...
{26236}{26348}...that we'll grow old together,|and be with each other
always.
{26361}{26418}I promise.
{26434}{26533}How about we send out|a holiday card together this year?
{26539}{26603}I don't know if we're there yet.
{26687}{26773}I'd like to order a pizza.|Can I ask you a question?
{26779}{26910}Is the cute blond guy delivering|tonight? Very "Abercrombie
& Fitch."
{26916}{26977}- I'll call you back.|- Who was that?
{26983}{27084}- It's just the pizza place.|- You hung up on the pizza
place?
{27090}{27160}I don't hang up on your friends.
{27166}{27249}- Sorry, I'm just having a rough day.|- What's wrong?
{27256}{27354}- You don't want to hear about it.|- Then why did I ask?
{27361}{27478}Okay, this is embarrassing. Lately,|with this whole
pregnancy thing...
{27485}{27568}...I'm just finding myself...
{27575}{27643}How do I put this?
{27650}{27700}Erotically charged.
{27729}{27817}Is that college talk for "horny"?
{27834}{27958}Yeah. I have all of these feelings,|and I don't know what to
do.
{27964}{28063}I can't date a normal person.|I don't need a relationship.
{28070}{28161}All I really want is one great night!|Just sex.
{28168}{28229}No strings attached.|No relationship.
{28236}{28344}With someone I feel comfortable with,|and who knows what to
do.
{28351}{28503}For just one great night.|I mean, is that really so hard...
{28514}{28572}...to find?
{28689}{28736}So how was your day?
{28742}{28843}Good. I saw a pretty big pigeon.
{28958}{29031}I gotta get up early,|and it's almost 7:00.
{29037}{29094}- I gotta go to my room.|- Good night!
{29101}{29148}Good night!
{29214}{29275}- I can't do it!|- I didn't ask you to!
{29281}{29358}- You're Rachel! My friend!|- You're Joey!
{29391}{29467}Plus, it would be wrong,|and weird and bad!
{29473}{29566}So bad!|But I didn't ask you to do anything!
{29572}{29623}I know!
{29825}{29862}- You wanna do it?|- No!
{29867}{29944}- I'm just testing you!|- No more of this talk!
{29951}{30024}- This talk never happened!|- Good night!
{30031}{30078}Good night!
{30225}{30289}Get back in there!
{30449}{30546}Listen, I'm sorry about|that whole thing with Roger.
{30551}{30648}It really wasn't right.|And I want to make it up to you.
{30655}{30747}So I brought you something|I think you'll really enjoy.
{30928}{31058}Now this is just a loan, okay?|I'm gonna want him back.
{31084}{31132}I'm gonna go now.
{31237}{31328}I'm sorry.|I thought I could do it, and I can't.
{31449}{31473}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 12
{45}{106}Hey, I got you a present!
{111}{168}Oh, my, where did you hide it?
{174}{262}I ordered it for your wedding|and it's finally here!
{267}{328}You didn't have to get us anything...
{334}{402}I love it! It's huge! Let's open it!
{467}{563}- It's a Ms. Pac-Man machine!|- Oh, my God!
{568}{618}I didn't know where to put it.
{623}{713}- We can put it in the guest bedroom.|- Yeah, okay.
{811}{847}I kind of like it here.
{852}{880}Do you like it?
{886}{980}I practically spent my|entire childhood at the arcade.
{986}{1065}- This was my second favorite.|- What's your first?
{1070}{1155}- I don't remember the name.|- Well, what did it do?
{1160}{1283}You'd put a quarter in,|pull some handles and win a candy bar.
{1289}{1343}A vending machine?
{1348}{1438}Don't feel bad for me.|I won every time!
{1454}{1504}The One Where Joey Dates Rachel
{2367}{2422}I'm so glad you guys are here.
{2428}{2513}Guess what happened|in the paleontology department.
{2518}{2608}Do you think he saw us,|or can we still slip out?
{2614}{2714}Professor Newman, the department head,|is retiring, so...
{2719}{2840}- They made you head of the department!|- I'm teaching his
advanced class!
{2866}{2937}Why didn't I get head|of the department?
{2960}{3075}Hey, Rach, I got a big date.|Do you know a good restaurant?
{3097}{3202}Paul's Cafe. It's got great food|and it's really romantic.
{3207}{3239}Great, thanks.
{3244}{3328}Then take her to the|Four Seasons for drinks.
{3344}{3423}Or go downtown|and listen to some jazz.
{3428}{3489}Or dancing. Oh, take her dancing!
{3495}{3581}You sure are naming|a lot of ways to postpone sex.
{3608}{3707}I miss dating. Dressing up,|going to a fancy restaurant.
{3724}{3830}I won't be able to do that for so long.|And it's so much fun.
{3840}{3946}Not that sitting around|worrying about giving birth isn't fun.
{3982}{4070}Hey, you know what?|Why don't I take you out?
{4078}{4149}You don't want to date|a pregnant lady.
{4155}{4221}Yes, I do. We're gonna|have a good time.
{4227}{4334}I'll take your mind off of childbirth,|and C-sections...
{4339}{4394}...and baby heads stretching out...
{4399}{4438}Okay, I'll go with you.
{4443}{4502}- It will be fun.|- All right.
{4507}{4552}No, no! Yes!
{4585}{4624}Would you look at that.
{4630}{4708}I knocked off all your top scores.|How sad.
{4713}{4743}Okay, I'm next.
{4750}{4829}Don't start another game.|I'm next! Phoebe?
{4835}{4929}Sorry, I couldn't hear you|over all the winning.
{4938}{5022}- Phoebe's hogging the game.|- It's a stupid game.
{5028}{5098}You think it's stupid because|you suck.
{5115}{5174}I don't suck. It sucks.
{5180}{5233}You suck.
{5283}{5385}If this game is gonna cause problems,|I should keep it.
{5390}{5458}No, I love it. It is a great present.
{5463}{5562}Why don't you go home and wait|for the "Thank You" card?
{5567}{5694}- Why do you want to play this game?|- It doesn't spit out a
Clark Bar.
{5708}{5787}Okay. Phoebe, that's it.|Out of the chair.
{5955}{6024}Joey, could you get that?
{6328}{6385}I thought you were in your room.
{6390}{6472}I'm picking you up for our date.|For you.
{6512}{6594}Lilies. They're my favorite.|Thank you.
{6600}{6671}And a brownie.
{6701}{6754}Well, half a brownie.
{6759}{6811}Actually, it's just a bag.
{6816}{6931}It's a long walk from the flower shop|and I felt faint, so...
{6947}{7056}This is so great! I actually feel|like I'm on a real date.
{7062}{7185}But I have morning sickness and|I have on underwear that goes
up to...
{7191}{7227}...there.
{7232}{7299}Hey, come on. This is a real date.
{7305}{7362}So nice place you got here.
{7384}{7467}Foosball. Pizza box.
{7473}{7567}Oh, a subscription to "Playboy."|My kind of woman.
{7573}{7620}That's my roommate's.
{7625}{7715}I'd like to meet him.|He sounds like a standup guy.
{7721}{7821}He's protective of me,|so you'd better watch yourself.
{7826}{7894}Your roommate, is he good-looking?
{7944}{8021}Must be tough to keep your hands|off him.
{8033}{8078}I'm pretty sure he's gay.
{8100}{8202}No! No, he's not! Why are you trying|to ruin the game?
{8244}{8334}Which brings us back|to Greely's Theory of Dominance.
{8347}{8387}That's it for today.
{8398}{8475}Does anyone know where|the Freeman Building is?
{8480}{8535}It's the new building on Avenue A.
{8540}{8637}That's across town.|I'm teaching there in 10 minutes.
{8642}{8694}Dude, that's not gonna happen.
{8771}{8811}Move it! Move it!
{8817}{8876}Hey! I'm the teacher!
{9201}{9243}Hello.
{9337}{9443}Sorry I'm a little late.|Whoa, a lot late.
{9459}{9538}Well, let me start|by introducing myself.
{9544}{9601}I'm Professor Geller.
{9626}{9683}So to sum up...
{9690}{9784}...I'm Professor Geller.|Good job today.
{9850}{9942}- What comes with the filet mignon?|- Steamed vegetables.
{10018}{10066}Instead of the vegetables...
{10072}{10174}...is there any way that I could|substitute the...
{10180}{10231}...three-pound lobster?
{10270}{10321}You know what? Bring her both.
{10328}{10383}And I'll have the same.
{10391}{10485}Wow, this is shaping up|to be a pretty good date.
{10491}{10564}I almost forgot.|I didn't pay you the rent.
{10569}{10622}No roommate stuff. It's a date.
{10628}{10739}Wow, so I get to see what|Joey Tribbiani is like on a date.
{10745}{10775}Have any moves?
{10780}{10886}No, I'm just myself,|and if they don't like me for...
{10945}{11019}I'm sorry, I couldn't even|get through that.
{11043}{11100}I knew it. Tell me your moves.
{11106}{11144}All right.
{11149}{11179}Well...
{11185}{11300}I start by having a bottle of wine|sent to my table from a
fan.
{11305}{11387}Oh, my God. And that works?
{11393}{11521}If you add, "This is embarrassing.|I just want to have a
normal life."
{11526}{11585}You poor little famous man.
{11595}{11654}Okay, how about this one?
{11675}{11772}I was gonna wait until the end|of the night to kiss you...
{11777}{11871}...but you're just so beautiful,|I don't think I can.
{11885}{11919}Oh, my God!
{11968}{12070}Wow, that was fantastic!|I almost leaned in. Really.
{12075}{12127}So tell me one of your moves.
{12132}{12180}All right.
{12249}{12308}So where'd you grow up?
{12327}{12367}That's your move?
{12384}{12441}Boy, Rach, you're lucky you're hot.
{12446}{12540}- Come on, just answer the question.|- Queens.
{12548}{12603}Were you close to your parents?
{12611}{12686}- With my mom. Not so much my dad.|- Why not?
{12691}{12764}I don't know.|There's just this distance.
{12770}{12855}We both try to pretend it's not there,|but it is.
{12895}{12931}It's gotta be rough.
{12937}{13031}Yeah, it's really tough.|Sometimes I think...
{13036}{13081}Wow!
{13131}{13207}Nice move!
{13213}{13299}- "Where'd you grow up?" So simple.|- Thank you.
{13305}{13377}Now, excuse me.|I'm gonna use the restroom.
{13448}{13549}- Now you're watching me walk away.|- Yes, I am! So simple!
{13660}{13768}- You won't believe what I did today.|- Clearly not shower
or shave.
{13773}{13854}I played this all day,|and now I rule.
{13860}{13941}They should change the name|to "Ms. Chandler."
{13985}{14038}Although, I hope they don't.
{14044}{14171}You stayed home and played Ms. Pac-Man|while I went to work
like a chump?
{14177}{14294}I got the top ten scores. I erased|Phoebe off the board.
High-five!
{14327}{14398}What is the matter with your hand?
{14467}{14517}I played for eight hours.
{14522}{14591}It'll loosen up. Check out the scores.
{14596}{14678}Also, look at the initials.|They're dirty words.
{14683}{14784}- Chandler, why would you do that?|- Because it's awesome.
{14789}{14827}You think it's clever?
{14832}{14955}They only give you three letters,|so after A-S-S, it is a
challenge.
{14967}{15061}- This one's not dirty.|- Put it together with that one.
{15066}{15096}Oh.
{15102}{15219}If you don't clear this off,|you won't get one of those from
me.
{15233}{15299}Ben's coming over.|This can't be there.
{15304}{15396}- He won't know what they mean.|- He's 7, not stupid.
{15402}{15506}- Have you talked to him lately?|- I'm gonna unplug it.
{15511}{15599}I'll have nothing to show for my day.|Like work.
{15616}{15646}No!
{15672}{15722}Hey, look! It's still there!
{15727}{15817}This thing must have some kind|of primitive ROM chip!
{15824}{15897}- You gotta beat your scores.|- With the claw?
{15902}{15984}Fine, I'll do it.|We gotta get this off.
{15990}{16084}Carol's still upset that|you taught him "Pull my finger."
{16091}{16179}Pull my finger. My hand is messed up!
{16263}{16374}- I am not gonna answer that.|- Oh, come on. Just pick one.
{16379}{16463}Between Monica, Phoebe,|Chandler and Ross...
{16469}{16530}...if you had to,|who would you punch?
{16544}{16622}We're friends.|I wouldn't punch any of them.
{16634}{16674}Chandler?
{16680}{16746}Yeah, but I don't know why.
{16775}{16850}- I'm having a wonderful time!|- Me too!
{16855}{16947}- This is the best date I ever had.|- I know!
{16952}{17040}I laughed so hard. Did you|see the wine come out my nose?
{17045}{17109}Joey, I think everybody saw it.
{17123}{17246}I never knew I could enjoy|the non-sex part of a date so
much.
{17252}{17369}That's because you have never|been on a date with me before.
{17402}{17451}All right. Now don't judge me.
{17457}{17568}I normally wait till my date leaves,|but I'm ripping into
the swan.
{17573}{17638}Okay, then you don't judge me.
{17643}{17727}I'm gonna suck on the cellophane|from that brownie.
{17942}{18053}So, what are Joey Tribbiani's|end-of-the-night moves?
{18109}{18199}Well, if I want the girl to kiss me...
{18206}{18287}...first, I make my lips|look irresistible.
{18292}{18322}How do you do it?
{18331}{18421}Now you can't tell anyone, but...
{18428}{18510}...I put on shiny lip balm.
{18525}{18648}- Oh, my God.|- Like a moth to a flame, I tell you.
{18660}{18742}- Okay, now you go.|- No, I don't want to tell you.
{18747}{18792}- Why not?|- It's embarrassing.
{18801}{18887}More embarrassing than|shiny raspberry lip balm?
{18910}{18978}I didn't say raspberry before, did I?
{18990}{19066}Just tell me, Rach. Just tell me.
{19074}{19098}Okay.
{19105}{19153}All right, stand up.
{19211}{19267}Well, when we're at the door...
{19273}{19389}...I lightly press my lips|against his.
{19394}{19495}Then move into his body,|just for a second.
{19501}{19560}And then I make this sound:
{19696}{19769}It doesn't sound like anything,|but it works.
{19774}{19852}Oh, yeah. That would work, yeah.
{19879}{19989}All right, I gotta go to bed.|I had such a wonderful time.
{20135}{20183}Me too.
{20420}{20500}You were 50 minutes late?|Did you crawl?
{20510}{20573}No, I ran, okay? It's really far.
{20579}{20680}When did people stop understanding|"Get out of my way"?
{20696}{20742}Why didn't you take a cab?
{20747}{20865}With the traffic and one-way streets,|it'd take me twice as
long.
{20871}{20985}And I have class three times a week.|Who am I, Rockefeller?
{21004}{21061}You won't be able to keep doing this.
{21067}{21155}If I don't, they'll take the class|away from me.
{21162}{21234}And I put it in my family newsletter.
{21257}{21343}- Your what?|- You've seen it, "The Geller Yeller."
{21378}{21451}Right. Wow.
{21456}{21579}I figured out a faster route.|I'm sure I can make it this
time.
{21586}{21709}I just can't be afraid|to get a little bit hit by cars.
{21745}{21802}- Hey.|- Hi!
{21813}{21882}Remember when we talked about "Cujo"?
{21887}{21966}I can't believe you haven't seen "Cujo."
{21971}{22019}Relax, it isn't "Citizen Kane."
{22024}{22100}Have you ever sat through|"Citizen Kane"?
{22106}{22203}Yeah, it's really boring.|But it's, like, a big deal.
{22214}{22289}Anyway, I was thinking|about renting "Cujo."
{22294}{22351}Well, let's do it tonight.
{22357}{22443}- Don't you have that big date?|- Oh, right.
{22448}{22530}- Hey, Joey, can I ask you something?|- Yeah.
{22536}{22604}After our date, did you feel weird?
{22609}{22722}Oh, my God. You did too?|It freaked me out. What was that?
{22727}{22859}I don't know. I'm kind of thinking|it was the lobster.
{22931}{23004}Oh, yeah. Yeah, the lobster.
{23009}{23090}- I was up sick all night.|- Me too. All night.
{23095}{23160}Really? We didn't cross paths.
{23165}{23235}Yeah, well, that's because...
{23240}{23299}...I stayed in my room.
{23321}{23387}You don't want to look|in my hamper.
{23501}{23537}Okay, I got that.
{23543}{23614}I'll escape there.|I'll come back here.
{23619}{23685}All right. Come on, Ms. Pac-Man.
{23729}{23813}Well, you're just a little bitch,|aren't you?!
{23864}{23913}Hey, you guys?
{23919}{24001}I'm sorry that I was|hogging the game before.
{24008}{24157}Oh, my God! Your friends have|some unfortunate initials.
{24162}{24197}They're all Chandler.
{24202}{24257}Chandler couldn't get this good.
{24263}{24379}I did. But it came at a price.
{24396}{24460}Ben's coming, and he can't see this.
{24465}{24547}By age 7, kids have|already seen orgies.
{24635}{24684}Was it just me?
{24916}{25004}Yes, I made it! I'm on time!
{25114}{25189}Okay, why don't we all...
{25237}{25304}...open our books to page 23...
{25310}{25344}...where...
{25378}{25449}...where you will see...
{25494}{25592}...a bunch of red spots.
{25627}{25746}Okay, why don't you all start to read|while I...
{25967}{26051}Are you all right?|You seem a little distracted.
{26057}{26139}No, no, I'm fine. It's just...
{26159}{26218}Hey, can I ask you something?
{26224}{26293}Have you ever looked at someone|you know...
{26299}{26383}...and suddenly seen them|in a different way?
{26389}{26438}You mean like from behind?
{26546}{26628}Yeah. That's exactly it.
{26633}{26736}I saw this guy from behind,|and he seemed totally normal.
{26742}{26830}And then he turned around|and it was Stephen Baldwin!
{26897}{26954}So you know exactly what I mean.
{26959}{27038}Totally! Wow.
{27075}{27134}- Would you excuse me?|- Sure.
{27426}{27485}- Phoebe! You're on fire!|- I know!
{27492}{27522}You can do it!
{27527}{27575}- Don't touch me!|- Don't touch her!
{27580}{27635}Go left! Go right! Go right!
{27640}{27680}I can't! I can't!
{27686}{27762}No! You son of a...
{28075}{28117}Phoebe?!
{28129}{28219}Oh, hi, Ben.|No, don't look at the machine!
{28441}{28529}Thank God you're home!|I'm watching "Cujo."
{28534}{28645}- Alone?|- Yes! What is wrong with this dog?
{28652}{28749}Did you get to the part where Cujo|throws himself at the
car?
{28754}{28848}No, seriously,|what's wrong with the dog?
{28856}{28913}Wait, what happened to your date?
{28923}{28975}Oh, it didn't work out.
{28980}{29093}- Want to watch the rest of the movie?|- Oh, okay. Yeah.
{29099}{29155}I never thought I'd say this...
{29161}{29215}...but I hope this dog dies.
{29267}{29339}What are you doing?|Sit here. Protect me.
{29344}{29421}Oh. Sure, yeah. Why not?
{29670}{29762}- That's him, that's him! That's Cujo!|- I know.
{29789}{29848}It's gonna be okay.
{29855}{29982}Oh, my God. What's he gonna do now?|I can't watch.
{30039}{30109}How can you watch this?|Aren't you scared?
{30201}{30250}Terrified.
{30485}{30601}So is everybody here?|I got here a little early, myself.
{30607}{30631}Let us begin.
{30644}{30785}Now, the hadrosaurids have been|unearthed in two main
locations.
{30838}{30878}Here...
{30892}{30927}...and...
{30948}{30974}...here.
{30996}{31064}Now, as for the hydrosaurs...
{31433}{31457}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 13
{170}{256}"All right", "it's a new day."|{y:i}That stuff about Rachel?
{262}{396}{y:i}You don 't feel that now. It was crazy.|{y:i}You're fine.
You're better than fine.
{402}{527}"You are", "as your friend Tony"|"would say", "Great!"
{569}{676}{y:i}Everything's normal.|"She's just your friend", "Rachel."
{682}{817}"Your friend", "Rachel."|{y:i}Your friend. Rachel.
{837}{986}- Hi, sweetie.|"- Hey", "it's your girlfriend", "Rachel!"
{1003}{1053}The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath
{2063}{2115}Are you...? Are you high?
{2142}{2195}I had the most amazing bath.
{2200}{2281}- Really? I don't like baths.|- You like them with me.
{2287}{2385}Honey, it's not the bath I enjoy.|It's the wet, naked lady.
{2402}{2499}- Baths are so relaxing.|- Really? What do you do?
{2504}{2598}You just sit in there,|stewing in your own filth.
{2627}{2686}How dirty do you think I am?
{2692}{2802}If you had some candles and bubbles|and music, you'd love it.
{2807}{2858}It'd take all your stress away.
{2863}{3000}It's 2:00 on Wednesday, I'm watching|"Road Rules." How
stressed am I?
{3052}{3146}Hey, Chandler.|I really need to talk to you.
{3155}{3257}Is this a cold pizza|or a leftover-meat loaf talk?
{3262}{3380}- Well, neither.|- Oh, my God, what's up?
{3405}{3555}I don't know. It's just...|Lately, I've been feeling...
{3571}{3630}Okay, here's what it is.
{3741}{3865}- I feel a lot better. Thanks.|- Wait a minute. Just come
back.
{3985}{4047}You and Monica,|friends for a long time.
{4052}{4160}And sure, there are rules.|But then you went to London.
{4166}{4275}But that's different. There are rules|there too, know what I
mean?
{4281}{4312}Do you?
{4383}{4497}It was different for you guys.|You were both in the same
place.
{4503}{4623}Yes, when Monica and I were|in London, we were both in London.
{4640}{4715}This is a bad idea.|Forget all about it.
{4720}{4798}This conversation between you and me.
{4814}{4864}If that.
{4990}{5061}Ross, don't forget|that doctor's appointment.
{5067}{5127}- Right.|- To find out the sex of the baby?
{5135}{5231}We don't wanna know|as long as it's happy and healthy.
{5237}{5289}Yep, healthy. And cute.
{5294}{5361}- Smart. With an aptitude for science.|- Popular.
{5366}{5448}Are you two talking|about the same baby?
{5465}{5563}- Have you thought of names?|- I've come up with a bunch.
{5568}{5630}- Really? Me too.|- Me too.
{5636}{5675}Really?
{5680}{5798}If it's a girl, Phoebe.|And if it's a boy, Pheebo.
{5850}{5963}Maybe. But it wouldn't hurt|to have a backup, you know?
{5969}{6022}Rach, what were you thinking?
{6027}{6098}I was thinking if it's a girl...
{6103}{6208}...how about Sandrene? It's French.
{6214}{6328}That's a really pretty name|for an industrial solvent.
{6394}{6474}- Fine. What do you have?|- It's for a boy.
{6479}{6548}I know it's a little out there, but...
{6568}{6607}...Darwin.
{6640}{6724}Our child will be beaten|in the schoolyard.
{6729}{6789}Yeah, by Sandrene.
{6795}{6862}You're saying that|because I said no to you.
{6867}{6921}I'm really, really not.
{6929}{6984}How about you each get five vetoes?
{6989}{7094}- That sounds fair.|- I don't think you'll need it.
{7100}{7182}If it's a girl, Rain.
{7203}{7279}- Veto.|- Why?
{7285}{7366}Rain? "Hi, my name is Rain.
{7372}{7493}I have my own kiln,|and my dress is made out of wheat."
{7519}{7573}I know her!
{7579}{7673}I bought a homemade soap|from her at a Dead show!
{7699}{7836}- Okay. How about for a guy, Thatcher?|- Why do you hate our
child?
{7841}{7928}- Fine, you go.|- Okay. James.
{7943}{7999}- But only if it's a girl.|- Veto.
{8005}{8065}I like Ruth. What about Ruth?
{8070}{8163}Oh, I'm sorry.|Are we having an 89-year-old?
{8203}{8267}- How about Dayton?|- Veto. Stewart.
{8272}{8311}Veto. Sawyer.
{8316}{8372}- Veto. Helen.|- Veto.
{8380}{8483}Is it me, or is Veto starting|to sound really good?
{8593}{8657}Boy, do I have a surprise for you.
{8662}{8707}Sex on the balcony?
{8712}{8809}No. But someone's not gonna|get over that idea.
{8815}{8867}- What?|- I drew you a bath.
{8872}{8988}I don't like baths. Could you draw me|a picture of sex on the
balcony?
{8994}{9063}Try it for me.|I used all my best stuff.
{9069}{9196}I lit candles, I put on music.|I used bath salts, plus bubble
bath.
{9202}{9327}And got you this little plastic|Navy ship! So it's a boy bath.
{9355}{9480}- This does butch it up a bit.|- I swear, you will love it.
{9485}{9559}If I do this,|can we discuss balcony sex?
{9564}{9595}Absolutely.
{9637}{9708}But I know how|that discussion's gonna go.
{9908}{10058}"All right", "this isn 't so bad."|{y:i}I like the flowery
smell.
{10075}{10168}"Which is okay",|{y:i}because I've got my boat.
{10231}{10305}- So?|- Oh, my God.
{10311}{10436}I told you you were a bath person.|Hey, maybe I can give you
a facial.
{10441}{10515}I'm gonna need a bigger boat.
{10719}{10801}I don't think you had|an open mind about Ruth.
{10806}{10879}Little Ruthie Geller?|How cute is that?
{10884}{11006}Oh, my God, I can practically|hear the mahjong tiles.
{11011}{11144}All your tests look fine. Are you|interested in the sex of
the baby?
{11149}{11246}- No, we're not.|- You have it right there?
{11252}{11389}You know if it's a boy or a girl?|Dayton or Sandrene? Phoebe
or Pheebo?
{11394}{11451}But if you don't wanna know...
{11460}{11551}- No, we wanna wait. Right?|- Right. Right.
{11581}{11641}Oh, I'll be right back.
{11647}{11712}I know it's really not my place...
{11717}{11806}...but please don't name|your child Pheebo.
{11917}{12001}So, which of these babies|is the ugliest?
{12007}{12077}What? Rach, come on, that's terrible.
{12083}{12151}They're babies.|They're all beautiful.
{12156}{12253}- Third one from the left?|- Yeah. Why is it staring at me?
{12259}{12408}I think it knows I'm talking about it.|Don't you...? You're
looking!
{12413}{12448}- I didn't!|- I saw you!
{12453}{12514}Fine, I did,|but I didn't see anything.
{12519}{12605}Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!
{12617}{12718}- But I didn't...|- Don't tell me! I don't wanna know!
{12726}{12782}I couldn't, because I don't know!
{12788}{12900}I swear I didn't see anything!|It was just a momentary
lapse.
{12906}{12983}Don't you have any self-control?
{12988}{13095}Okay. A couple months late|on the lecture, Ross.
{13175}{13210}Hello?
{13215}{13311}Can you come in here?|There's something wrong.
{13317}{13390}You know what?|I think I'll wait out here.
{13401}{13475}I'm in the bathtub.
{13556}{13634}- What's wrong?|- I drew a bath, but I did it wrong.
{13639}{13775}The water's tepid, the salt didn't|dissolve and is now
lodged places.
{13782}{13920}And the scents I used don't compliment|each other.
Eucalyptus and chamomile?
{13926}{13990}- What?|- Bath salts.
{13996}{14062}They're starting to effervesce.
{14067}{14205}It's different. It's interesting.
{14212}{14276}Let's talk about something else.
{14282}{14385}Yeah. Sure. So, what was|going on with you today?
{14405}{14495}I actually had the weirdest|conversation with Joey.
{14501}{14585}He was talking about rules|and right and wrong.
{14590}{14688}- I had the same conversation.|- What was he talking about?
{14693}{14825}He hasn't had this much trouble getting|out words since he
was in "Macbeth."
{14842}{14991}- That was a long night.|- What exactly did he say to you?
{14996}{15118}He was talking about rules|and looking at people
differently.
{15124}{15179}- Not to me.|- What'd he tell you?
{15184}{15258}He asked about you, me and London.
{15264}{15363}And the glue that holds|this all together, the rules.
{15369}{15463}Okay. So you, me and London.
{15469}{15533}Looking at people differently.
{15539}{15627}Maybe he wants to do|what you and I did in London.
{15632}{15686}But what'd he mean by "rules"?
{15692}{15784}Wait. He stopped talking|the minute Phoebe came in.
{15792}{15886}- He's looking at her differently.|- Phoebe is his friend.
{15892}{15944}That'd be breaking the rules.
{15949}{16027}My God, he wants to do it|with Phoebe in London!
{16039}{16111}- You guys?|- Just a minute!
{16120}{16220}- That's Mrs. Tribbiani.|- You don't say anything.
{16226}{16360}Why would I? That two of our friends|could start a great
love affair?
{16366}{16476}They'd have me to thank.|Then we could all start having
babies!
{16482}{16560}- I won't let you say anything.|- Stay here.
{16566}{16617}Oh, God!
{16711}{16759}I brought back your iron.
{16767}{16848}I thought I lost it.|I got a new one a month ago.
{16853}{16935}Oh, just as well. I broke this one.
{17047}{17089}- What?|- Nothing.
{17144}{17236}I really shouldn't say.|I'm really not supposed to.
{17242}{17272}Fine.
{17286}{17418}- It's a humdinger.|- Too bad you can't tell me.
{17426}{17485}Somebody likes you!
{17557}{17645}- Is it Chandler?|- No!
{17650}{17751}- Then tell him to stop staring.|- It's Joey.
{17770}{17868}Really? Joey? You don't say.
{17873}{17985}- Would you be interested?|- I don't know, I don't know.
{17997}{18115}You know, I mean, on the one hand,|"Mother, may I?"
{18129}{18205}But, you know, on the other hand...
{18229}{18316}No. No, I can't. We're friends.
{18322}{18386}Oh, no. I don't wanna risk|what we have.
{18391}{18517}I guess that makes sense.|You think you're gonna talk to
him?
{18522}{18630}Sure. I mean, it's Joey.|I don't want him to get hurt.
{18641}{18750}Well, I must say, I am on fire!|First Chandler, now Joey.
{18757}{18849}- Not Chandler. Just Joey.|- Sure.
{19075}{19160}You know what?|I'm coming around on the name Ruth.
{19166}{19231}I'd consider naming our child that.
{19245}{19354}Rach, I can't tell you|how much that means to me.
{19426}{19505}Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
{19510}{19631}You hated the name Ruth.|Why would you change your mind?
{19637}{19725}Unless you know we're never|gonna have to use it.
{19731}{19799}You did see. You know it's a boy!
{19805}{19883}I didn't see anything.|I changed my mind.
{19888}{19957}I don't think so.|You're giving me Ruth...
{19963}{20040}...so you get to name him|when it's a boy.
{20046}{20187}That's when you'll swoop in and|name him Heath or Blaine or
Sequoia.
{20192}{20247}I would... Sequoia!
{20252}{20324}- Veto.|- Fine.
{20391}{20543}Unless you anticipated that|I would figure all this out...
{20548}{20629}...and you know that|it actually is a girl.
{20634}{20718}And you really do want her|to be named Ruth.
{20723}{20859}Well, I'm not falling for that!|Okay? Ruth is off the table!
{20865}{20994}- But, Ross, you want the name Ruth.|- Not like this!
{21060}{21132}Hey. What's up?
{21139}{21237}- Joey, I know.|- What?
{21271}{21371}- I know.|- What?
{21386}{21487}- I know about your feelings.|- Oh, my God, you do?
{21492}{21617}I'm sorry. Things worked out for|Chandler and Monica, but
that's rare.
{21623}{21747}I know. And this is so much more|complicated than it was for
them.
{21753}{21836}I mean, it's Rachel, for God's sakes.
{21856}{21941}For God's sakes, it's Rachel!
{21957}{22064}I know! She's not only my friend,|she's my pregnant friend.
{22070}{22136}She's my pregnant friend|who's Ross' ex!
{22142}{22271}Yeah, that's Rachel.|Beat me over the head with it.
{22300}{22411}What am I gonna do? I keep trying|to get rid of these
feelings.
{22416}{22502}I made a list of everything|I don't like about her.
{22508}{22556}- You wanna hear it?|- Yeah.
{22632}{22761}"She made me switch to light mayo."|That's it! That's all I
got!
{22766}{22866}You know what? Tastes the same|and my pants fit better.
{22887}{23017}- Joey, this is probably just a crush.|- You think?
{23023}{23124}Absolutely. You get this rush|of feelings, but it goes away.
{23129}{23237}Yeah, just a crush.|That's all this is. It's a crush!
{23243}{23311}I'm Joey. I don't get deep feelings.
{23316}{23386}There you go.|Crushes happen all the time.
{23392}{23516}I've had them for all you guys.|Except for Ross and
Chandler.
{23521}{23641}- And I'm sure you've had them for us.|- Not really.
{23657}{23721}Throw me a bone here.
{23899}{23996}So I called the doctor.
{24010}{24110}- Now we both know the sex of the baby.|- What?
{24115}{24214}That's right.|The student has become the master.
{24225}{24362}- Ross, I swear. I don't know.|- Oh, come on, you know it's
a girl.
{24367}{24462}- A what?|- You really didn't know?
{24467}{24530}- We're having a girl?|- No.
{24536}{24580}- That's what you said.|- No.
{24586}{24684}- You said girl.|- Yes. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
{24689}{24746}I'm not! We're having a girl!
{24752}{24880}Sometimes I can't believe it's with|you, but still, we're
having a girl!
{24885}{25005}I know! You know what?|I'm putting Ruth back on the table.
{25010}{25110}Yes, we'll have ourselves|a little baby Ruth.
{25197}{25256}- Permission to veto.|- Yes, please.
{25432}{25484}Do I smell essential oils?
{25489}{25585}I'm gonna take a bath.|I was gonna get a magazine.
{25961}{26030}What do you think you're doing?
{26042}{26099}Leaving my troubles behind?
{26122}{26225}You're new at this,|but this is unacceptable bath decorum.
{26231}{26318}It's so hard to care|when you're this relaxed.
{26330}{26419}You can have the bath,|but I am taking your boat.
{26429}{26497}Now you're just a girl in a tub.
{26569}{26635}Hi, bubbles. Manly.
{26640}{26704}I thought I'd let you know|how it went.
{26709}{26797}- You told her?|- She pulled it out of me!
{26802}{26895}She's like a conversational wizard!|How did it go?
{26901}{26965}You were wrong. He doesn't like me.
{26970}{27090}How would you like it if I told you|that Lee Majors liked
you...
{27096}{27195}...and you found out|that he didn't like you?
{27259}{27370}- I don't think I'd care.|- Really? Lee Majors is hot.
{27387}{27490}- Hello?|- We're in the bathroom!
{27495}{27611}- Why?|- Because it's a relaxing time!
{27652}{27740}- What are you guys doing in here?|- Oh, my God.
{27746}{27856}A friend he's looking at differently,|but it's wrong.
{27862}{27919}- It's Rachel!|- You like Rachel?
{27924}{28041}It's no big deal. Phoebe and I talked.|It's a crush. It'll
go away.
{28046}{28125}Dude, you gotta rearrange|your bubbles.
{28166}{28220}Mazel tov.
{28252}{28340}Ross and I were looking for you.
{28346}{28448}What are we all doing in here?|Oh, my.
{28489}{28567}Honey, cover it up with the boat.
{28580}{28609}Hello?
{28614}{28708}We're all in here,|and we'd love for you to join us!
{28754}{28899}Well, hey! What's going on?|Oh, cool boat. Oh, no.
{28946}{29012}- Did you tell them?|- I waited for you.
{29017}{29078}- Tell us what?|- We're having a girl.
{29083}{29165}Oh, wow! Really?
{29231}{29305}I'll get you later.
{29435}{29531}{y:i}All right. It's a new day.|{y:i}And it's just a crush.
{29537}{29601}{y:i}That's all. Just a little crush.
{29607}{29698}{y:i}All that worrying I was doing?|{y:i}That was crazy.
{29704}{29815}{y:i}Like my friend the bird here|"would say", "It was
cuckoo!"
{29897}{30005}{y:i}Everything's gonna be fine.|{y:i}It's just a crush.
{30024}{30115}- Hi, sweetie.|{y:i}- I love you.
{30298}{30383}It's nice to do this together,|isn't it?
{30403}{30486}Yeah. And what you're doing|feels so good.
{30491}{30584}- I'm not touching you.|- You're not?
{30589}{30708}- It's the salts.|- Sweet Lord, new realms of pleasure.
{30758}{30839}Whatever keeps you|off the balcony, big guy.
{30988}{31013}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 14
{175}{239}- What's up?|- I left my guitar here.
{245}{302}Okay. No problem.
{364}{430}Okay. Here you go.
{545}{617}- What?|- You want to hang out or something?
{633}{688}You caught me at a bad time.
{694}{758}- Are you and Chandler...?|- Exactly.
{763}{808}- Can I play for you?|- No.
{900}{945}Hey, Pheebs, what's up?
{1013}{1107}You ask an intriguing question,|Chandler Bing.
{1195}{1325}Oh, my God! You're getting a massage?|You never let me massage
you.
{1331}{1428}- Phoebe, I can explain.|- You said you hate massages.
{1433}{1534}Buy stamps. Pick up dry cleaning.|Don't let Phoebe in.
{1575}{1634}How long has this been going on?
{1644}{1729}- Well, Alexandra has...|- It has a name?
{1770}{1811}Phoebe, don't get upset.
{1816}{1942}Okay. Oh, too late! I'm leaving.|Come on, Chandler, let's go.
{1970}{2015}Well, I thought I'd...
{2021}{2064}Yeah, what the hell.
{2107}{2156}The One With the Secret Closet
{3043}{3130}One more push.|Come on, we're almost there.
{3137}{3273}I'm happy things worked out for us and|we're having this baby.
I love you.
{3279}{3328}I love you too.
{3335}{3409}I hope it's not|an inappropriate time to say...
{3415}{3477}...you're the best sex I've ever had.
{3488}{3552}That's always appropriate.
{3565}{3645}Okay, come on, one more push.|One more push.
{3696}{3756}There we go.
{3762}{3912}Here is your beautiful baby.|Congratulations.
{4100}{4203}I hope you're a better father|than you are a friend!
{4314}{4343}Joey!
{4349}{4423}- What's going on?|- Come feel my belly.
{4442}{4523}- The baby's kicking for the first time.|- Really?
{4530}{4565}Yes.
{4572}{4632}You know what? Maybe you...
{4649}{4762}Maybe you should come to me.|I'm not wearing any bottoms.
{4823}{4868}Oh, my God.
{4875}{4918}It's unbelievable!
{4924}{5008}Wow, she is kicking so much.|She's like...
{5015}{5087}Who's that annoying|girl soccer player?
{5092}{5162}- Mia Hamm?|- Mia Hamm!
{5192}{5272}- It's amazing.|- One hand on the sheet, Joe.
{5279}{5327}Sorry.
{5449}{5477}Hey, babe.
{5484}{5606}We got a wedding gift from Bob and|Faye Bing. They don't like
us, do they?
{5623}{5718}Who says you can't get|a nice punch bowl for under $6?
{5724}{5812}- Maybe we can take it back.|- Where would we return it?
{5818}{5892}How about to the street,|from the balcony?
{5905}{5975}Why don't we just find a place for it?
{6040}{6079}In that cabinet?
{6086}{6218}That's for canned goods. Have you|forgotten everything from
orientation?
{6270}{6332}How about the closet by the bathroom?
{6338}{6418}- Okay. Let me do it.|- No, I'll do it.
{6424}{6543}You have to relax and let me|take care of things once in a
while.
{6557}{6651}It's locked. You have to help me.|Why is it locked?
{6665}{6737}No reason.|I keep private things in there.
{6745}{6844}I've been here a while,|and I've never seen what's in there.
{6849}{6896}What is in there?
{6915}{6945}Feminine stuff.
{6951}{7033}Don't try to make me uncomfortable|with feminine stuff!
{7039}{7197}Nothing in there concerns you.|If you love me, you'll just let
it go.
{7222}{7292}- Fine.|- Thank you.
{7412}{7462}Love you.
{7500}{7601}Hello, Chandler.|Lovely day, huh? You.
{7651}{7777}If it helps, Alexandra's only|been massaging her for three
years.
{7817}{7897}Lf! I said, if it helps.
{7946}{8024}Why won't you let me massage you?
{8030}{8138}I'd be self-conscious.|You're my friend. I'd be naked.
{8145}{8236}We lived together for years.|I've seen you naked.
{8242}{8325}That's different. We were roommates.|And when?
{8374}{8440}I'm curious about the human body.
{8470}{8540}You can understand|why this would be weird.
{8546}{8610}I'm a professional|and I'm really good.
{8616}{8728}If you're uncomfortable, we can stop.|Give me a chance.
Please?
{8745}{8797}If it means that much to you.
{8804}{8898}It does. How would you feel|if you couldn't share your
cooking?
{8905}{9008}Or how Ross would feel|if he couldn't teach us about dragons.
{9033}{9109}- Dinosaurs.|- Potato, potahtoe.
{9208}{9257}Ross, the baby's kicking.
{9264}{9312}What? It is?
{9438}{9487}It's not kicking now.
{9493}{9598}Although we would love|to see you do that again.
{9605}{9650}When? What happened?
{9655}{9744}Last night. I went into Joey's room,|and he was sleeping.
{9750}{9812}A dreamless sleep.
{9830}{9918}My God, the baby's kicking.|That's great.
{9925}{10059}I wish I would have been there to feel|the kicking for the
first time.
{10064}{10153}I got some stuff going on|if you want to feel.
{10159}{10277}I don't want to miss any more baby|stuff. Here's my pager
number.
{10283}{10368}Anytime anything pregnancy-related|happens, use it.
{10375}{10449}I don't care if it's 3 a.m.|And you want ice cream.
{10455}{10517}Can I get a copy of that?
{10612}{10697}- Are you under the sheet?|- Yes.
{10738}{10808}Great, let's begin.
{10985}{11042}How's the pressure?
{11064}{11140}It's nice. Wow, Phoebe, you are good.
{11147}{11213}Stating the obvious, but thank you.
{11220}{11317}- And it's not weird, is it?|- No.
{11369}{11443}That's right, you just enjoy.
{11493}{11552}Oh, yeah!
{11672}{11777}- Oh, yeah!|- Okay.
{11795}{11867}Oh, God, Phoebe!
{11874}{11973}That's it! That's it, right there!
{12262}{12343}I wasn't trying to open|your closet, I swear.
{12369}{12509}Monica runs a pretty tight ship here,|doesn't she? What are
you doing?
{12515}{12592}Monica has a secret closet.|She won't let me see it.
{12598}{12703}- Why not?|- I don't know! What's she hiding?
{12710}{12761}I don't know.
{12767}{12826}I'll bet it's Richard.
{12853}{12914}Why would she keep Richard in here?
{12920}{12973}Off the top of my head...
{12980}{13060}...maybe she's having her cake|and eating it too.
{13066}{13147}You being the "cake,"|Richard being the "too."
{13153}{13239}- Or...|- And here we go.
{13245}{13354}I saw a movie where there was a door.|Nobody knew what was
behind it.
{13360}{13472}When they finally got it open,|millions of bugs came pouring
out...
{13478}{13562}...and they feasted on human flesh!
{13585}{13677}It wouldn't kill you|to respect your wife's privacy!
{13773}{13866}Stupid closet full of bugs!
{13893}{14005}Joey, something feels weird|and not good weird. I don't...
{14011}{14064}When my sisters were pregnant...
{14069}{14150}...they got weird feelings|and it was always nothing.
{14156}{14197}- Really?|- Absolutely.
{14202}{14307}But we'll stop by the hospital|just to be sure. I'll page
Ross.
{14314}{14462}Rach, look at me. Everything's fine.|Trust me. Take my hand.
Here we go.
{14468}{14517}Crushing bones!
{14523}{14602}Good thing we're going to a hospital.
{14790}{14841}- So?|- She's fine.
{14847}{14967}She had Braxton Hicks contractions.|Mild discomfort in the
uterine wall.
{14973}{15092}Mild discomfort? I take it you've had|one of these Braxton
thingies?
{15098}{15141}- Everything's normal?|- Yes.
{15147}{15198}- There's no danger?|- No.
{15204}{15280}Contractions can be unnerving,|but she's fine.
{15286}{15400}Thank you, doctor.|And thank you for being nice and calm.
{15406}{15503}I wasn't calm! I've never been|more scared in my life.
{15513}{15627}- You said everything was okay.|- What do I know? I'm not a
doctor.
{15649}{15727}- But everything is okay. I'm fine.|- You sure?
{15733}{15824}Yes. I got half a mind|to contract that doctor's uterus.
{15830}{15904}Mild discomfort!|What's he talking about?
{15910}{15949}- Is everything okay?|- Yes.
{15955}{16029}Your page said, "Come to|the hospital. " What happened?
{16034}{16127}Something called|Braxton Hicks contraction.
{16133}{16207}That's no big deal.|Most women don't feel them.
{16212}{16264}No uterus, no opinion.
{16314}{16353}What's with the candy?
{16359}{16438}I was at the concession stand|at the movies.
{16444}{16534}- You went to the movies by yourself?|- Mona!
{16565}{16631}- I gotta go back in there.|- What's wrong?
{16637}{16742}- I just gotta...|- No, really, tell me. What's up?
{16748}{16832}Look, I forgot my underwear.
{16898}{16968}Thanks for bringing her|to the hospital.
{16974}{17042}Don't worry about it. No big deal.
{17047}{17137}But still, it should have been me.|I'm the dad.
{17153}{17242}- Here's information on Braxton Hicks.|- Thanks.
{17249}{17319}You did the right thing|by bringing her in.
{17324}{17382}You'll make a wonderful father.
{17419}{17542}Hey, not as good as this guy.|He brought Twizzlers.
{17663}{17762}- There has got to be a way.|- Easy there, Captain Kirk.
{17813}{17870}- Do you have a bobby pin?|- Yeah.
{17877}{17974}Oh, no, wait.|I'm not a 9-year-old girl.
{17980}{18031}Then why do you throw like one?
{18055}{18141}- Maybe Monica has a bobby pin.|- Oh, sure, "Monica."
{18180}{18261}So how's the inappropriate|crush on Rachel coming?
{18267}{18374}Really good. I should be ready|to kill myself any day now.
{18379}{18457}Well, you sure found that quick.
{18533}{18657}I wish I didn't feel this way about|Rachel. I wish things
could be normal.
{18663}{18782}I love living with her, and|helping out with the baby is
amazing.
{18789}{18863}But now I think Ross feels left out.
{18870}{18995}When I took Rachel to the hospital,|the doctor thought I was
the father.
{19002}{19080}You should have seen|the look on Ross' face.
{19085}{19198}I have no idea what I'm doing.|For all I know, I'm locking
it more.
{19213}{19314}- You try opening it with a credit card?|- That's a good
idea.
{19320}{19406}So Ross is kind of bummed, huh?
{19412}{19482}- I feel terrible.|- It's not your fault.
{19488}{19589}What are you gonna do, not take her?|You're doing nothing
wrong.
{19595}{19700}Except for harboring love|for the woman carrying his baby.
{19810}{19922}Richard, if you're in there,|could you pass me my credit
card?
{20007}{20122}I gotta tell you, yesterday was|amazing. That massage felt
so good.
{20128}{20183}No, I got that.
{20189}{20277}- Can we make it a weekly appointment?|- Okay.
{20284}{20405}You should know though,|I've raised my rates to $200 an
hour.
{20422}{20480}- Okay.|- I mean 500.
{20493}{20552}- What?|- 600.
{20598}{20674}You make sex noises|when you get massaged.
{20680}{20808}It freaked me out. After a while,|I tried to hurt you. It
spurred you on.
{20814}{20913}You're crazy. There's nothing sexual|about the noises I
make.
{20919}{20987}There's nothing sexual about this?
{20993}{21051}Oh, God!
{21121}{21195}What are you looking at?
{21204}{21239}I mean, hi.
{21280}{21367}This is embarrassing.|I'm never getting a massage again.
{21373}{21445}Don't let this stop you|from getting massages.
{21451}{21536}I have lots of clients|that make those noises.
{21542}{21603}- Really?|- Well, not clients. Lovers.
{21659}{21760}We'll try it again. Come back,|and we'll work through it.
{21765}{21833}- You sure?|- Yes.
{21838}{21939}- I guess.|- Great! Now, if you'll just excuse me.
{21945}{22032}So did you hear something you liked?
{22120}{22217}Hey, Ross, check it out!|I learned a new trick.
{22239}{22307}Hey, I bought you some lunch.
{22312}{22413}Oh, that's so sweet of you. Oh, yum.
{22510}{22586}- Did you put pickles on this?|- Well, yeah.
{22605}{22688}What? What? Rach, what?
{22695}{22767}- What's going on?|- I made her tuna with pickle.
{22772}{22836}Pickle? Pickle makes her sick.
{22841}{22938}Giving her pickle is|like giving me salad.
{22950}{23012}I'm sorry, I didn't know. You okay?
{23018}{23111}I'm fine, but someone make sure|it's gone when I get out?
{23117}{23167}I'm on it!
{23210}{23292}I shouldn't be the one|making her throw up.
{23298}{23401}- It could happen to anyone.|- Not to you. You know this
stuff.
{23407}{23473}I don't know any of it|and I'm the father.
{23478}{23572}I wish I could be|more involved, you know?
{23665}{23803}Well, if anyone is keeping score,|I no longer eat tuna.
{23825}{23912}Can I talk to you guys for a second?
{23918}{23977}- Yeah.|- What's up?
{23992}{24083}Sit down.|I wanna talk about our situation.
{24089}{24157}Are you breaking up with us?
{24192}{24242}The thing is...
{24295}{24418}...because I live with Rachel,|I'm here for a lot of stuff.
{24425}{24530}And Ross is missing everything. So...
{24536}{24571}Yeah?
{24600}{24664}You two should live together.
{24669}{24741}Are you asking me to move?|You don't want me here?
{24746}{24853}No, I love living with you.|It just seems that...
{24859}{24962}...if you're gonna have a roommate,|it may as well be the
father.
{24968}{25112}But, Joey, I don't think Ross wants me|to move in and
disrupt his life.
{25152}{25207}Or he does.
{25214}{25322}I would love to be around|for you and the baby.
{25328}{25408}We can just try it,|like on a temporary basis.
{25414}{25507}- But it's you and me.|- It wouldn't be anything romantic.
{25513}{25607}I'm dating Mona. Damn it, Mona!
{25628}{25731}I was supposed to meet her|an hour ago. What is wrong with
me?
{25745}{25815}So, what do you think?
{25821}{25891}- I don't know. Is it crazy?|- No.
{25896}{25944}Joey, this is a smart idea.
{25955}{26032}Well, I was due.
{26052}{26098}- Let's do it.|- Really?
{26104}{26181}Rach, that's great. That's great.
{26435}{26517}Not too shabby.|I got this all off myself...
{26523}{26587}...using my wife's tools.
{26749}{26813}Oh, my God.
{26870}{26932}How did you get in there?
{26997}{27040}You're messy.
{27050}{27192}- No! You weren't supposed to see this!|- I married Fred
Sanford.
{27197}{27263}Chandler, you don't understand.
{27338}{27453}Okay, okay, fine! Now you know.|I'm sick.
{27459}{27582}No, honey, you're not sick. I don't|love you because you're
organized.
{27588}{27662}I love you in spite of that.
{27670}{27713}Really?
{27734}{27804}- Promise you won't tell anyone?|- Yes.
{27810}{27948}Now that I know, if I've got extra|stuff, can we share the
closet?
{27953}{28027}Well... It's just...
{28034}{28102}I'm afraid you might mess it up.
{28285}{28403}So Rachel's all moved out?|How you taking it?
{28410}{28478}I wanted to have a few beers...
{28485}{28584}...but I got rid of those because|Rachel couldn't stand the
smell.
{28590}{28677}I have thrown back a lot|of orange juice with calcium.
{28684}{28822}It's a couple weeks past its expiration|date, so it's got a
bit of a kick.
{28887}{28992}- Are you okay?|- You kidding me? Yeah, I'm great.
{28997}{29075}I'm better than great. I am good.
{29119}{29272}Now that she's gone, I can do stuff|around here that I
couldn't do before.
{29278}{29322}Like...
{29328}{29387}I can walk around naked again.
{29394}{29438}I can...
{29444}{29527}I can watch porn in the living room.
{29544}{29590}This is good for me.
{29597}{29718}I like being on my own.|I'm better off this way.
{29724}{29782}I'm a lone wolf.
{29788}{29882}A loner. Alone.
{29892}{30002}All alone. Forever.
{30067}{30159}What's a wolf gotta do|to get a hug around here?
{30344}{30418}That's it, just relax.
{30468}{30526}- Come on, more.|- Oh, God!
{30532}{30593}You like that, don't you?
{30600}{30707}- Yeah, right there.|- Want it there? Take it there, baby.
{30753}{30847}- Phoebe?|- Yeah, say my name. Say it.
{31054}{31132}And now I'm going|to cover you back up.
{31150}{31282}And I won't be speaking with you|for several weeks.
{31418}{31442}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 15
{45}{85}- Oh! Hey, Rach!|- Hi.
{90}{157}- Happy Valentine's Day!|- You too!
{161}{199}How's living at Ross'?
{204}{339}It's good, except he makes us watch|the Discovery Channel all
day long.
{344}{475}Something really boring happened|to someone ugly in the Middle
Ages.
{494}{563}Oh, thank you.|I'll see you guys later.
{651}{737}That is one lucky|to-go cup of coffee.
{782}{870}I wish you'd get over her.|I hate seeing you like this.
{877}{989}Is there anything I can do for you?|Do you wanna look down my
top?
{995}{1039}Thanks. Maybe later.
{1070}{1149}- Gunther, can I get a scone?|- Want anything?
{1154}{1205}I want a lot of things.
{1212}{1277}I wanna be with the woman I love!
{1285}{1329}I want her to love me back.
{1334}{1471}And I want relief from the wrenching|pain of knowing that
won't happen!
{1498}{1536}We have red bagels.
{1593}{1637}Okay.
{1670}{1719}The One With The Birthing Video
{2570}{2631}How does Mona feel about|Rachel moving in?
{2638}{2687}I'm on my way to tell her.
{2693}{2766}She's been away all week,|but she'll be cool.
{2770}{2811}She's been so supportive.
{2815}{2924}She even got the baby a T-shirt|that says "Fossils are my
friends."
{2966}{3027}Come on, Mona. Don't kiss ass.
{3037}{3080}So I'm gonna take off.
{3086}{3184}Oh, shoot! Oh, shoot!|Rachel wanted to see this tape.
{3190}{3255}- What is it?|- My friend giving birth.
{3261}{3325}Could you take it to your apartment?
{3331}{3401}"Candy and Cookie"?
{3407}{3470}Candy's the mom,|Cookie's the daughter.
{3474}{3529}The father's name is also Cookie.
{3577}{3646}Why am I friends with these people?
{3665}{3745}I wanna show you|something in the bathroom.
{3750}{3788}Monica, grow up.
{3827}{3975}- What's behind your back?|- Something I want Phoebe's opinion
on.
{3981}{4049}- You don't want my opinion?|- Not really.
{4054}{4121}Come on, I'm your older brother.|Ask me.
{4126}{4169}Okay, big brother.
{4174}{4303}Which one would make your best friend|want to do your little
sister?
{4439}{4479}The red one.
{4634}{4664}Hey.
{4670}{4776}I know you're depressed,|so I brought someone to cheer you up.
{4782}{4868}Right outside is a real,|live, furry playmate.
{4873}{4949}I'm not sleeping|with your friend Jane again.
{5039}{5115}Hey, a dog!
{5121}{5203}Who, you gotta admit,|looks a lot like Jane.
{5214}{5323}He's the happiest dog ever.|I borrowed him from my friend
Wendy.
{5330}{5402}So you can keep him|till he cheers you up.
{5407}{5509}Thanks so much, Pheebs.|We are gonna have so much fun!
{5514}{5561}Oh, not that kind of fun.
{5735}{5790}Happy Valentine's!
{5800}{5950}I'm slipping into something a bit less|comfortable and a bit
more slutty.
{6010}{6076}"Candy and Cookie"?
{6155}{6214}"Candy and Cookie"?!
{6219}{6276}Monica got me porn?
{6309}{6380}Girl-on-girl porn?!
{6402}{6459}She really must love me!
{6704}{6801}"- Yeah", "just relax."|- I love you, St. Valentine.
{6983}{7052}Whoa, whoa, that's not pretty.
{7061}{7116}{y:i}Now push!
{7153}{7204}"Oh", "God", "it hurts!"
{7209}{7289}Worst porn ever!|Worst porn ever!
{7301}{7393}"- Oh", "make it stop!"|- I am trying!
{7449}{7504}Get the ball. Ready? Get the ball!
{7516}{7581}You're cute, but you're not too smart.
{7673}{7734}Did I just throw this?
{7778}{7804}- Hi.|- Hi.
{7809}{7889}I accidentally packed these|with my stuff.
{7895}{7972}- Who is this?|- Phoebe's friend's dog.
{7977}{8057}I don't know his real name.|I call him Mozzarella.
{8088}{8209}You are so cute. I wish I could play,|but I've gotta go to
work.
{8214}{8320}I hope I stop talking like this|before my meeting. Yes, I do.
{8340}{8414}Bye-bye, Joey.|Seriously, I can't stop it.
{8485}{8531}Come here! Hey!
{8566}{8644}That's Rachel. She used to live here.
{8649}{8743}Might as well be honest with you.|We love her.
{8750}{8813}But we can't have her.
{8831}{8882}I really miss her.
{8894}{8984}Hey, you understand, right?|You're a guy.
{9000}{9057}Well, you used to be.
{9300}{9357}So, what do you think?
{9412}{9452}I've still got it.
{9476}{9542}- Why did you get me this?|- What is it?
{9547}{9662}It's yelling, bleeding, dilating.
{9694}{9749}Oh, the dilating!
{9777}{9896}Is this the video of the birth? It's|Phoebe's. Why were you
watching it?
{10005}{10105}I thought maybe you got me porn|for Valentine's Day.
{10134}{10243}If you thought I was gonna|get you porn for Valentine's
Day...
{10248}{10295}...you were right.
{10321}{10424}It's about a girl who moves|to the city in search of
stardom...
{10428}{10509}...but ends up having sex|with a lot of guys.
{10514}{10549}It got four stars.
{10555}{10612}Wait a minute. Those aren't stars.
{10653}{10719}- Anyway, you wanna take a look?|- Well...
{10723}{10848}- I'm not really in a sexy mood.|- Hey, what's going on?
{10854}{10924}Remember the first time|you saw "Jaws..."
{10930}{11026}...how long it took|to go back in the water?
{11070}{11145}We can't let this tape|wreck Valentine's Day.
{11150}{11263}- You don't know. You didn't see it.|- Childbirth is
beautiful.
{11268}{11329}Oh, beautiful? Really?
{11334}{11393}You think this is beautiful?
{11484}{11576}Oh, my God!|No wonder my mother hates me!
{11623}{11690}- See, honey, there's...|- Don't touch me!
{11748}{11812}- Hi!|- Hey!
{11837}{11890}- How was Atlantic City?|- Good.
{11896}{11955}I brought you back a present.
{11962}{12005}You didn't have to...
{12011}{12064}Saltwater taffy?!
{12086}{12131}Thanks.
{12137}{12206}Interestingly, it isn't made|with seawater.
{12210}{12323}It's actually made|with salted fresh water.
{12327}{12384}That's not interesting.
{12389}{12471}- I think it's interesting.|- Me too. I missed you!
{12504}{12549}- How was your week?|- Good.
{12569}{12636}- The baby started kicking.|- How exciting!
{12640}{12757}It was amazing. The only thing is,|I wasn't there the first
time.
{12762}{12860}- Oh, no.|- I was missing out on all this stuff.
{12865}{12986}- Joey suggested Rachel move in with me.|- Yeah, right.
{13013}{13079}- What?|- Joey cracks me up.
{13085}{13182}"Have your ex-wife move in.|That wouldn't be awkward."
{13300}{13357}Lmagine, I go away for a few days...
{13361}{13453}...and my boyfriend is living|with a woman he got pregnant.
{13540}{13580}So, what'd you tell him?
{13864}{13929}You didn't tell Mona|Rachel moved in?
{13935}{14021}She seemed to think|it was such a crazy idea.
{14027}{14124}Plus, she got me taffy.
{14129}{14197}- Really? I've never had any.|- Ever?
{14202}{14319}My mom was too busy planning her|suicide to provide
saltwater treats.
{14339}{14373}Thank you.
{14397}{14439}Are you gonna tell her?
{14444}{14509}I will. I want to butter her up first.
{14515}{14622}I'm gonna take her to dinner,|do all this romantic stuff.
{14628}{14704}When she thinks|I'm the best boyfriend ever...
{14710}{14806}...I'll tell her my pregnant|ex-girlfriend is living with
me.
{14811}{14928}If I haven't said it before,|she's a lucky, lucky lady.
{14955}{15049}So where are...?|What the crap is up with this stuff?
{15103}{15191}Is it gum? Is it food?|What's the deal?
{15247}{15304}Oh, it's nice.|May I try a pink one?
{15385}{15512}So between her and me being friends,|and her history with
Ross...
{15518}{15567}...it just isn't gonna happen.
{15573}{15675}It'd be like you falling in love|with a cat.
{15697}{15758}- Hey.|- Hey.
{15765}{15877}How's my favorite dog, huh?|How's my favorite dog?
{15898}{15939}You're subdued.
{15944}{16034}- Did you give him a beer?|- No.
{16046}{16134}- Will you excuse us? We need to talk.|- Sure.
{16164}{16211}Oh, me, right.
{16275}{16367}- He's miserable. What happened to him?|- Nothing.
{16372}{16429}- We talked about stuff.|- What stuff?
{16451}{16494}Rachel stuff.
{16508}{16638}Oh, Joey, you bummed him out!|This is the happiest dog in
the world.
{16643}{16702}He spends a day with you, and look!
{16748}{16791}He's breathing.
{16814}{16877}- I'll take him to Wendy's.|- He's fine.
{16882}{16908}Look.
{16914}{16947}Here's your ball!
{16953}{17031}Get your ball!|Get your ball!
{17063}{17139}God, what have I done to you?
{17145}{17231}I broke the dog, Pheebs!|I broke the dog!
{17290}{17387}I'm going to pick up Mona.|What are you doing tonight?
{17393}{17450}Oh, I've got big Valentine's plans.
{17457}{17559}I've got Chinese food on the way,|and your saltwater taffy.
{17570}{17666}Interestingly, it isn't made|with seawater...
{17671}{17749}We actually watched|the documentary together.
{17785}{17855}Oh, my Chinese food.|I'll get my cash.
{17977}{18019}Mona?
{18050}{18111}What are...?|Hi! How are you?
{18119}{18178}I'm supposed to pick you up.
{18183}{18275}I made you a Valentine's dinner.|Surprise!
{18359}{18464}- Oh! Hey, Mona!|- Hi, Rachel.
{18469}{18519}What's she doing here?
{18528}{18581}I have no idea.
{18604}{18684}I'll be watching TV|if anybody needs me.
{18700}{18734}What is she doing?
{18739}{18819}Lately she just likes|hanging out here.
{18826}{18905}- Why?|- I think she's lonely.
{18924}{19004}But it's Valentine's Day.|Can't we ask her to go?
{19010}{19089}Well, no, she's way too emotional.
{19095}{19175}And by emotional, I mean crazy!
{19245}{19309}That's just my Chinese food.
{19314}{19361}She has food delivered here?
{19367}{19482}Yes, she's emotional, but ballsy.
{19524}{19627}I'm gonna get in my sweats|and eat this in bed.
{19697}{19791}And you thought|she was gonna be in our way!
{19805}{19909}Open the champagne,|and I will be right back.
{19915}{20018}- I've got a surprise.|- You got another ex-wife back there?
{20049}{20102}Please start drinking.
{20224}{20301}- I'm just gonna grab the phone.|- Rachel, wait.
{20328}{20394}I hope you don't take this|the wrong way.
{20400}{20480}- What are you doing?|- Do you need the phone?
{20492}{20529}No.
{20534}{20628}Ross is too nice to say it,|but this is his apartment.
{20634}{20738}We need boundaries, so why don't|you go back to your place?
{20743}{20815}But, Mona, I live here.
{20868}{20956}Happy Valentine's Day!
{21059}{21169}Or, something to remember me by.
{21360}{21446}- How long has it been this time?|- Ninety seconds.
{21452}{21544}Ninety seconds is a long time|not to think about it.
{21550}{21614}Except all I did was think about it.
{21620}{21659}I know. It haunts me.
{21665}{21804}Till now, the worst thing I'd seen was|my dad doing shots
off the houseboy.
{21810}{21909}After this, I would gladly|make that my screen saver.
{21915}{22036}We have to get past this.|We'll pretend it never existed.
{22047}{22075}I could do that.
{22205}{22291}Now all we gotta do|is get rid of this chair.
{22636}{22695}- Oh, thank God!|- I know.
{22713}{22747}Come in!
{22751}{22826}Hi. I'm sorry to barge in|on your Valentine.
{22830}{22920}I had to get away from the yelling.|Mona's dumping Ross.
{22926}{22981}- Oh, my God.|- Poor Ross.
{23069}{23188}We watch him do yoga in his underwear,|but for this he
closes the drapes.
{23223}{23299}You know that birthing tape|you wanted to see?
{23305}{23329}It's here.
{23335}{23434}We should warn you before|you watch it. Don't watch it.
{23456}{23499}You saw it? Is it scary?
{23504}{23588}It's ironic how footage|of someone being born...
{23595}{23667}...can make you want to kill yourself.
{23685}{23781}Now I'm all freaked out.|Will you watch it with me?
{23786}{23897}No, but I'll leave a sweater that|smells like me right next
to you.
{23918}{24004}Seriously, you're not gonna|make me watch this alone.
{24082}{24143}She's right. Of course not.
{24149}{24200}Honey, get the tape.
{24370}{24466}This reminds me of a very specific|part of the tape.
{24550}{24595}Here we go.
{24600}{24641}Okay.
{24692}{24732}Oh, my.
{24764}{24819}"All right", "baby. One more time."
{24825}{24905}Why is that baby torturing that woman?
{24910}{24994}Why have I seen this thing|three times?
{25042}{25070}It's beautiful.
{25076}{25211}- It's horrible!|- I know, I know! I'm so sorry for you!
{25230}{25330}- You guys! You guys, look!|- What? Did her ass explode?
{25390}{25465}No, the baby's out. Look.
{25505}{25605}Look at those little fingers and toes.
{25610}{25661}Look how happy the mom is now.
{25690}{25795}- Oh, Rach.|- Screw you! You don't have to do it!
{25894}{25937}- Hey.|- Hey!
{25943}{26027}- What's up?|- Mona just dumped me.
{26033}{26100}Oh, man, I'm sorry. Why?
{26105}{26213}Lately, I haven't exactly been|the perfect boyfriend.
{26217}{26281}I didn't tell her|I got Rachel pregnant.
{26287}{26408}I gave her a key to my apartment|and then had the locks
changed.
{26415}{26499}Then I lied to her about Rachel|moving in with me.
{26505}{26622}In a way, I judge her for not|breaking up with me sooner.
{26628}{26718}That really sucks.|Especially on Valentine's Day.
{26724}{26812}Wait a minute.|What are you doing here?
{26818}{26887}Joey without a date|on Valentine's Day?
{26893}{26971}What's going on, huh? Girl trouble?
{27007}{27062}- Sort of.|- Really?
{27069}{27138}You don't have to seem|so happy about it.
{27158}{27203}Maybe I can help.
{27248}{27329}Whatever it is,|I am sure it has happened to me.
{27356}{27450}You know, actually,|once I got dumped during sex.
{27572}{27669}- So anyway, what is it?|- Forget about it. It's no big
deal.
{27675}{27734}- Come on, what is it?|- It's nothing.
{27740}{27806}Hey, it's me.|Why can't you tell me?
{27866}{27952}Okay. Sit down.
{28045}{28135}There's this woman that I like a lot.
{28140}{28193}But it can't happen.
{28221}{28259}She's not a Tribbiani?
{28324}{28350}No!
{28386}{28457}So is she someone from work?
{28494}{28518}Yes.
{28536}{28581}Well, does she like you?
{28629}{28684}Sometimes I think she could.
{28690}{28751}But I can't do anything about it.
{28757}{28783}Why not?
{28790}{28832}It's complicated.
{28869}{28930}She was with this other guy.
{28936}{28987}Someone from work too.
{29025}{29109}I could never do that to the guy.|We're friends.
{29131}{29256}So this guy she used to go out with,|is he still in love
with her?
{29261}{29330}- No, I don't think so.|- Okay.
{29336}{29378}Is he a good guy?
{29418}{29463}Yeah, he's the best.
{29469}{29534}- Then talk to him.|- I don't know.
{29539}{29616}It's worth finding out,|if you like her.
{29621}{29660}I do, so much.
{29666}{29734}I can't stop thinking about her.|I can't...
{29740}{29822}You know what?|You have to go for it.
{29828}{29951}How often does this happen to you?|You owe it to yourself.
{29966}{30015}Here's your warm milk.
{30124}{30198}I'm gonna put the bourbon|in it at home.
{30246}{30365}Anyway, seriously,|just talk to the guy, okay?
{30369}{30428}Let me know how it goes.
{30462}{30507}It's Rachel.
{30728}{30804}{y:i}You're having a baby|{y:i}and you need to prepare.
{30809}{30926}{y:i}You're gonna make yourself watch|{y:i}the whole thing.
Just do it!
{31003}{31089}{y:i}I came to the big city|{y:i}to become a star.
{31104}{31205}{y:i}- I'll do anything to make that happen.|{y:i}-
Anything?
{31209}{31318}{y:i}Maybe it starts with|{y:i}how she gets pregnant.
{31437}{31461}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 16
{55}{89}{y:i}Previously:
{95}{182}There's this woman that I like a lot.
{188}{240}But it's complicated.
{244}{326}She was with this other guy|for a long time.
{331}{411}I could never do that to the guy.|We're friends.
{416}{516}So this guy she used to go out with,|is he a good guy?
{555}{585}The best.
{590}{651}- Then talk to him.|- I don't know.
{657}{736}It's worth finding out,|if you like her.
{741}{781}I do, so much.
{787}{853}I can't stop thinking about her.|I can't...
{859}{941}You know what?|You have to go for it.
{946}{1062}How often does this happen to you?|You owe it to yourself.
{1091}{1137}It's Rachel.
{1363}{1450}I'm sorry, did you just say|it's Rachel?
{1485}{1525}Yes.
{1607}{1641}You like Rachel?
{1684}{1765}Yes. I like Rachel.
{1936}{1974}Rachel?!
{1986}{2059}Yeah. Okay, but look, you know...
{2065}{2121}You know who else I like? You.
{2127}{2217}And it doesn't get said enough.|I like you, Ross.
{2272}{2330}- Rachel Rachel?|- It's not a big deal.
{2334}{2418}It's not a big deal?|I'm sorry, I just...
{2449}{2501}What about the stuff you said?
{2507}{2619}How you can't stop thinking about her?|How you can't sleep?
{2624}{2668}I'm an actor, you know?
{2674}{2767}As a group, we tend to be|overdramatic.
{2772}{2850}Rachel-who's-carrying-my-baby Rachel?
{2855}{2936}I know it's bad.|And I know it's wrong, okay?
{2941}{3016}It's not like anything's|ever gonna happen.
{3022}{3093}These are just feelings.|They'll go away.
{3112}{3159}You know, I gotta go.
{3165}{3196}Hey, Ross...
{3201}{3296}You know, I just have one...|Rachel?!
{3575}{3615}Rachel?!
{3667}{3720}The One Where Joey Tells Rachel
{4560}{4627}Okay, she's kicking.
{4649}{4710}She's growing inside you.
{4745}{4854}- That was a big one.|- That's the youngest girl to reject me.
{4876}{4912}- You guys!|- Hey there.
{4918}{4996}Let me ask you.|Do you believe in soul mates?
{5002}{5032}Oh, yes, I do.
{5037}{5104}There's one person out there|for everyone.
{5110}{5181}You know how you find him?|Stop looking.
{5187}{5259}I've stopped looking|for Russell Crowe.
{5265}{5308}He'll find me.
{5313}{5340}And you?
{5347}{5471}No. I believe that certain people are|more suited for each
other, but...
{5476}{5539}- Soul mates? I don't think they exist.|- Good.
{5544}{5611}- Why?|- Well, last night, I met Monica's.
{5727}{5757}What?
{5763}{5856}I had a date with this guy.|I swear he's her other half.
{5861}{5985}You don't think there's somebody|better suited for Monica than
me?
{6060}{6109}Well, what's he like?
{6119}{6196}- He's tall. He has brown hair.|- Of course.
{6201}{6308}A tall guy with hair similar to mine?|Oh, unknowable universe!
{6324}{6386}- He works with food.|- Oh, sure. Older?
{6391}{6476}- Obviously. And he's British.|- I was just gonna ask!
{6481}{6588}And he's so centered,|and mature and confident.
{6593}{6652}It's so sad they never met.
{6657}{6766}Luckily, the guy she settled for|can't hear you.
{6777}{6839}Oh, I'm so sorry.|Maybe I'm wrong.
{6845}{6915}We're going out again.|I'll find out more.
{6920}{6991}He's meant for her,|and you're gonna date him?
{6996}{7074}He may not be my soul mate,|but a girl's gotta eat.
{7251}{7329}I talked to Joey.|I wanted to see you.
{7334}{7432}I still can't believe it.|Joey and Rachel?
{7437}{7512}It's like you and me going out,|only weirder.
{7536}{7586}I know you're hurting...
{7592}{7639}...but don't say that again.
{7679}{7781}What if they marry?|He'd be the stepfather of my child.
{7786}{7837}You don't need to worry.
{7843}{7902}He'll never tell her how he feels.
{7908}{7977}If he did, you don't know|how she'd react.
{7982}{8078}Sure, women never like Joey.|I think he's a virgin.
{8101}{8198}- He isn't thinking about going for her.|- He's not?
{8204}{8292}All he's thinking about|is how you're taking this.
{8298}{8392}It's freaking him out.|He wants to move to Vermont.
{8416}{8501}- Why?|- He wants to leave the country.
{8611}{8656}He thinks you hate him.
{8685}{8722}Hate him?
{8757}{8822}No, I don't hate him.
{8882}{8952}It's just, it's Rachel. You know?
{8958}{9056}I can't even imagine how hard|this must be for you...
{9061}{9157}...but I don't want you|to lose Joey over it.
{9163}{9268}Right now, he needs to know|that you're still his friend.
{9301}{9371}Okay, I'll talk to him.
{9377}{9417}I'd do it soon.
{9423}{9540}He just asked me how to convert|his dollars into Vermont
money.
{9703}{9740}- Hi!|- Hi.
{9745}{9826}- Chandler, Monica, this is Don.|- Hello.
{9883}{9922}Soul mate.
{9995}{10079}- What are you guys doing?|- We had lunch at Adriatica.
{10085}{10196}- What's with the sun-dried tomatoes?|- I know! Is this
1985?
{10201}{10290}- That's what I said! Isn't it strange?|- Not really.
{10322}{10383}What's wrong with sun-dried tomatoes?
{10429}{10496}On a barbecued-chicken pizza?
{10502}{10536}No?
{10570}{10657}- What restaurants do you like?|- Octavio. 27-and-7.
{10662}{10766}- There's this place, Alessandro's.|- Oh, my God! I'm the
chef!
{10771}{10839}You're kidding!|Your food is fantastic!
{10845}{10943}I want to talk about your menu.|Anyone want coffee?
{10948}{11026}If you're talking about me,|I'll go with you.
{11092}{11132}What are you doing?
{11147}{11228}I swear, I didn't know you guys|would be here.
{11234}{11292}You don't believe in soul mates, so...
{11297}{11392}I believe in handsome strangers|who hit on my wife.
{11397}{11522}Just because I think they're soul mates|doesn't mean
anything'll happen.
{11527}{11583}Phoebe? Good work.
{11588}{11652}He's great. I love him.
{11712}{11787}Don't worry, we'll find you|someone else.
{12100}{12191}I understand if you came by to hit me.|I deserve it.
{12196}{12251}No, I don't want to hit you.
{12256}{12316}What, then? Kick me?
{12324}{12354}No.
{12377}{12419}Bite me?
{12436}{12497}I don't want to do anything to you.
{12503}{12580}I just want to say I'm not|mad at you...
{12615}{12694}...and that I certainly|do not hate you.
{12723}{12786}I just came here to say that.
{12791}{12847}Hey, wait, Ross?
{12878}{12970}You wanna come in|for a beer or something?
{13025}{13071}Yeah, sure.
{13162}{13225}You got any beer?
{13293}{13371}All I got is melon stuff|that Rachel left.
{13381}{13414}Okay.
{13598}{13673}You need to understand something.
{13767}{13871}I am never gonna act|on this Rachel thing, okay?
{13877}{13992}I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize|my friendship with you.
{14022}{14060}Thank you.
{14456}{14560}Anyway, it'll just...
{14564}{14646}It'll take me a while to get over her.
{14652}{14751}I'm not sure how to do that.|I've never been in love, so...
{14757}{14793}What?
{14855}{14916}You're in love with her?
{14922}{15034}- Yeah. I thought you knew that.|- No.
{15079}{15186}Look, if it helps, I don't want|to feel this way, honest.
{15191}{15296}I just keep thinking,|"I'll get over this," you know?
{15302}{15396}But it just keeps getting harder.
{15401}{15484}I don't know what to do, you know?
{15520}{15571}What do I do?
{15711}{15859}- You need to tell her how you feel.|- That's the green
stuff talking.
{15907}{15991}I'm serious.|You need to find out where she is.
{15997}{16090}If she's not where you are,|you can start to move on.
{16097}{16172}But what if,|and I'm not saying she will be...
{16177}{16257}If she is where you are...
{16317}{16419}...then my feeling weird|shouldn't stand in the way.
{16431}{16493}- Are you sure?|- Yeah.
{16528}{16592}If she ends up with somebody else...
{16598}{16690}...the truth is,|she couldn't find a better guy.
{16709}{16752}Hey, thanks.
{16783}{16910}- So when are you gonna talk to her?|- Oh, my God. I have to
tell her.
{16937}{17020}I haven't thought about it.|What should I say?
{17025}{17117}I'm understanding,|but let's not get carried away.
{17181}{17226}What am I gonna say?
{17319}{17379}Yeah, tell me about it.
{17726}{17850}I'm phasing out the wine importing|and focusing more on the
cheese.
{17855}{17901}Cheese, you say?
{17907}{17986}That's some|pretty smelly work, huh, Don?
{18001}{18088}- Excuse me?|- Cheese. It's smelly.
{18109}{18193}You must smell a lot of the time too.
{18236}{18347}Not really. But with cheese,|I think the smellier, the
better.
{18352}{18465}Me too! Chandler hates it.|I can't have blue cheese in the
house.
{18470}{18544}And you're still married to him?
{18643}{18781}I would like to go to France and eat|nothing but bread and
cheese.
{18787}{18841}Not even bread. Just cheese.
{18846}{18892}No, I want the bread.
{18907}{18955}And pastries.
{18962}{19011}And pate.
{19020}{19108}I'm really not high.|I just used to be fat.
{19126}{19212}I have a villa in the Loire Valley|you can stay in.
{19217}{19268}Is it made of cheese?
{19339}{19425}No. A house made of cheese,|wouldn't that be great?
{19430}{19498}- I'd move in tomorrow!|- Oh, come on!
{19540}{19594}- Listen to this!|- I'm so sorry.
{19599}{19703}- What do we do?|- They both want a house of cheese.
{19720}{19789}I don't know how you fight that.
{19940}{20047}Okay, okay. I can do this.|I can tell her how I feel.
{20053}{20109}Okay, stand up straight.
{20115}{20184}Take a couple deep breaths.
{20223}{20268}Look confident.
{20361}{20408}Joey? What's up?
{20414}{20519}I came by because|I want to talk to you about something.
{20524}{20550}What's up?
{20559}{20631}Here, in the hall?|What are we, animals?
{20636}{20719}I'm late for a meeting.|Could you make it quick?
{20736}{20811}I just came by to tell you that...
{20820}{20913}...I want to have dinner with you.
{20918}{20984}Sure. Just tell me where to meet you.
{21075}{21112}Okay. That's good.
{21118}{21197}That gives you a couple of hours|to prepare.
{21220}{21282}Don't you people ever knock?
{21322}{21386}I'd like to have Don and Phoebe over.
{21391}{21426}Sure. Set it up.
{21431}{21509}I'll just be browsing|through the personals.
{21535}{21593}Are you okay?|You're acting weird.
{21598}{21623}Yeah. Fine.
{21629}{21661}Not perfect.
{21666}{21712}But good enough.
{21722}{21762}Jeez, what's with you?
{21767}{21840}I'm sorry, did you say "cheese"?
{21874}{21976}- What's going on?|- Phoebe says you and Don are soul mates.
{21981}{22059}I don't believe in that,|but you two get along.
{22065}{22191}I'll step aside if you wanna go with|Don and live in a house
of cheese.
{22197}{22319}- You don't believe in soul mates?|- No, but I'm sure
"tomatoes" does.
{22353}{22425}I don't believe in soul mates, either.
{22430}{22461}- You don't?|- Nope.
{22466}{22529}We weren't destined|to end up together.
{22535}{22621}We fell in love and work hard|at our relationship.
{22627}{22691}Some days we work really hard.
{22706}{22807}So you don't want to live with Don|in a cheese house?
{22812}{22956}No, I've had second thoughts.|Do you know how hard it'd be
to clean?
{22962}{23021}- I love you.|- I know.
{23026}{23086}I'm gonna take you out to dinner.
{23091}{23198}I found this place that makes|the greatest jalapeno poppers.
{23240}{23288}No? They taste so good.
{23438}{23523}It happens whenever Chandler|touches my stomach.
{23528}{23597}I'm worried the baby won't like him.
{23669}{23748}- Are you okay?|- Yeah, sure.
{23813}{23880}Look, the reason...
{23931}{23978}Is it hot in here?
{23983}{24061}Why don't you take off your sweater?
{24082}{24132}This is a nice place...
{24138}{24253}...and my T-shirt has a picture|of Calvin doing Hobbes.
{24258}{24349}Oh, my God, really? Can I see it?
{24354}{24384}Yeah, sure.
{24452}{24540}I wouldn't think Hobbes|would like that so much.
{24691}{24753}How long have we known each other?
{24758}{24803}Seven, eight...
{24809}{24871}Eight years. Wow.
{24882}{24913}A long time.
{24946}{25017}But over the past few weeks, l...
{25023}{25131}Okay! Sorry about the wait,|but it is mega-jammed in here.
{25136}{25178}Our specials tonight...
{25183}{25246}- Could you give us a second?|- Sure.
{25251}{25283}Second's up!
{25365}{25447}Not that kind of table.
{25527}{25563}So you were saying?
{25609}{25637}I'm not sure.
{25643}{25756}You asked how long we knew each other,|and I said eight
years.
{25762}{25868}Then the waiter came over|and cut his tip in half...
{25911}{25958}...and now here we are.
{25967}{26040}Yeah. Here we are.
{26272}{26343}I think I'm falling in love with you.
{26396}{26433}What?
{26484}{26553}I'm falling in love with you.
{26751}{26801}Who are you talking to?
{26839}{26906}Oh, you're kidding. It's a joke.
{26932}{26977}Funny. It's funny!
{26983}{27033}I don't get it.
{27257}{27295}Okay.
{27383}{27423}Wow.
{27490}{27532}Are you...?
{27599}{27656}How did...?
{27682}{27712}When?
{27769}{27828}Does it really matter?
{27893}{27936}Wow. Wow.
{27942}{27994}It is hot in here.
{27999}{28041}I know this is a lot.
{28047}{28125}You don't have to say anything.
{28152}{28232}You take as much time as you need.
{28399}{28455}Okay, you gotta say something.
{28476}{28586}Joey, I love you so much.
{28591}{28641}- But...|- But.
{28657}{28696}Joey?
{28702}{28765}Right. Hey, that's...
{28772}{28826}That's okay. That's fine.
{28831}{28949}It's pretty much what I was expecting.
{28983}{29044}It's no big deal, all right?
{29120}{29211}- I think I'm gonna go.|- Please don't leave like this.
{29216}{29306}You can't do this to a pregnant woman!
{29326}{29366}Don't start doing that.
{29372}{29457}You can't do that,|because you're gonna make me...
{29462}{29510}Oh, there we go!
{29570}{29644}- Can I?|- Sure.
{29690}{29751}Oh, Joey. I don't want to lose...
{29756}{29807}Hey, hey.
{29852}{29940}You can't, okay? Ever.
{29966}{30029}I'm so sorry.
{30034}{30108}Please don't be sorry.
{30114}{30167}Okay? Don't be sorry.
{30373}{30436}You know, I was only kidding.
{30466}{30522}Yeah, that was a real good one.
{30777}{30823}- Is this your table?|- Yeah.
{30828}{30888}- You'll be here all night.|- I know.
{30894}{30956}I haven't even read the specials.
{30968}{31003}What's the matter?
{31008}{31123}I don't know.|I think maybe one of them is dying.
{31183}{31251}I kind of hope it's the girl.
{31274}{31349}The guy is really cute!
{31486}{31511}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 17
1
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,837
Joey? Are you in there?
2
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,548
- That's Rachel.
- You have to talk to her.
3
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,355
I can't. Not after the other night.
It's too weird.
4
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,476
Don't tell her I'm here.
5
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,871
Don't eat that!
6
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:22,389
- Hey!
- Hey, Rachel.
7
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:24,039
Is Joey here?
8
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,236
- I don't see him. You?
- No.
9
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,756
Maybe he's in the sugar bowl.
Joey? Nope.
10
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,518
Well, at least you make
each other laugh.
11
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,396
- What's up?
- I haven't seen him since he said...
12
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,152
...how he, you know...
13
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,880
I don't know,
I think he's avoiding me.
14
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,713
Why is that bagel on the floor?
15
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,758
- We were playing a game.
- Was Chandler naked?
16
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,997
Sort of like a ring-toss
kind of situation?
17
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,632
- Sure!
- What? No! No!
18
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:03,075
All right, listen. If you see Joey,
will you just tell him that...?
19
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,992
Tell him I miss him.
20
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,998
- Okay. Did you hear that?
- Yeah. That naked bagel game?
21
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,995
Dude, I don't know. That's a pretty
small hole.
22
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,028
- You've gotta talk to her.
- I can't.
23
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:28,273
You guys don't know what it's like
to get shot down.
24
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,635
I don't know what that's like?
25
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:35,510
Until I was 25, I thought the response
to "I love you" was "Oh, crap."
26
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,954
No rejection?
27
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,192
I got shot down at fat camp.
28
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,397
Boy, kids are mean
when they're hungry.
29
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,632
So, what do I do?
30
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,912
It's Rachel.
You're gonna never talk to her again?
31
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:55,073
It's weird and it's awkward,
but you gotta at least try.
32
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,913
Yeah, okay.
33
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,710
I forgot this was on your...
34
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,155
We didn't play it!
35
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,150
The One With the Tea Leaves
36
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,356
I'll look at your tea leaves
and tell your fortune.
37
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,918
- You read tea leaves?
- I've done it for years.
38
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,197
I actually stopped
because I was so accurate.
39
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,715
And one of the great joys
of life...
40
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,872
...is its wondrous unpredictability,
you know?
41
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,873
And also,
tea tends to give me the trots.
42
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,592
- Okay. I'm done. Read mine.
- Okay.
43
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,909
I see a ladder.
44
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,789
Which can mean either a promotion
or a violent death.
45
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,238
I'm the head chef.
I can't get promoted.
46
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,838
Who's next?
47
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,558
I'm done. Do mine.
48
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,119
Okay.
49
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,519
Oh! Okay, I see a circle.
50
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,270
Which can either mean
you're having a baby...
51
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,113
...or you'll make
a scientific discovery!
52
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:38,637
Well, I have been spending
a lot of time in the lab.
53
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,914
- What does yours say, Pheebs?
- All right.
54
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,396
Wow! Yay!
55
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,599
Oh, I'm gonna meet a guy!
And really soon!
56
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,035
He's gonna be the man of my dreams.
57
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,909
Probably not the guy
I had a dream about last night.
58
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,671
Has anyone seen my shirt?
59
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,355
It's a button-down, like
a faded salmon color?
60
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,715
You mean your pink shirt?
61
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,477
Faded salmon color?
62
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,074
No, I haven't seen your pink shirt.
63
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,752
I must have left it at Mona's.
I knew it!
64
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,196
I'm sure you can get another one
at Ann Taylor's.
65
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,234
That's my favorite shirt.
I love it.
66
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,311
Ask Mona to give it back.
67
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,232
I don't know. I could.
68
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,836
We didn't really end things
on good terms.
69
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,959
If I went, I'd be ignoring the
one thing she asked me to do...
70
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,793
...jump up my own ass and die.
71
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,748
Oh, wait a second, you guys?
72
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,958
I've been seeing that guy
everywhere I go.
73
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,476
We take the same bus,
go to the same bookstore.
74
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,278
Maybe he's the tea guy.
75
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:57,834
Did you see that?
76
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,549
He totally checked you out!
And he is so cute!
77
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,913
Mine is a picture of the Village
People. What's that mean?
78
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,233
Hi.
79
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,038
Hey.
80
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,994
- Hi.
- Hi.
81
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,559
Tea gives Phoebe the trots!
82
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,480
I thought Joey and I
would be okay...
83
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,108
...but we don't know
how to be together.
84
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,869
- It's tough, but things will improve.
- How do you know?
85
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,395
What if it gets worse and worse...
86
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:02,189
...to the point where we
can't be in the same room?
87
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,510
I'm not great at the advice.
88
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,990
Can I interest you
in a sarcastic comment?
89
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,235
Some cheese?
90
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:17,958
Honey, why is the Bruce Springsteen CD
in the Cat Stevens case?
91
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,874
If I can't find the right case,
I use the nearest one.
92
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,636
- Where is the Cat Stevens CD?
- The James Taylor case.
93
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,439
- Where is that CD?
- I'll save you time.
94
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:32,070
Two hundred CDs,
not one of them in the right case.
95
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:37,397
Okay. No need to panic.
Deep breaths, everyone.
96
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:41,030
We'll just have to put the CDs
in their right cases.
97
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:45,318
If we do that, we should
come up with some kind of order.
98
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,836
We have to talk this through.
99
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:53,836
Oh, my God, you have such
problems! I feel so terrible for you!
100
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,509
All right. Okay, I'm sorry.
101
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,877
You're both focusing on
this uncomfortable thing.
102
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,917
Change the subject.
103
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,073
Get him talking about something else.
104
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,798
Yeah, that makes sense.
105
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,111
Maybe you need his advice
on a work problem...
106
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,158
- I could do that.
- Good.
107
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,469
The Miami Vice soundtrack?
Really?
108
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,797
They were just giving those away
at the store.
109
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,913
In exchange for money.
110
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,792
Hey.
111
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,794
I really don't know what to tell you.
112
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:37,397
Maybe Joey could help you out
with your big work problem.
113
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,756
- What?
- Yeah, Joey, she's...
114
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:45,550
Rachel's got this big work problem.
It is a head-scratcher.
115
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:50,475
Know what? If we're gonna make dinner,
we're gonna have to leave.
116
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,237
So you have a big work problem?
117
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,430
Yeah. It's, uh...
118
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,750
Yeah, it's, uh...
119
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,515
You know, it's nothing.
120
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:09,919
Okay.
121
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,999
So I think I'm gonna take off.
122
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:20,551
No, wait, Joey, it is.
It's something. It's...
123
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,233
It's my boss.
124
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,348
- Yeah?
- Yeah. And, uh...
125
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,791
And my baby.
126
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,439
My boss wants to buy my baby.
127
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,396
What? Oh, my God!
128
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,632
I know, I told you,
it's a really big problem!
129
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,435
- He wants to buy your baby?
- Can you believe that?
130
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,239
- That's crazy.
- That's what I told him!
131
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,949
- How did this even happen?
- Well, I'll tell you.
132
00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:00,669
See, my boss and his wife,
they can't have children, so...
133
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,116
And then when we were
at the Christmas party...
134
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:08,717
...he got drunk and said to me,
"Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
135
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:13,159
When you said it was a problem
about your boss and the baby...
136
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,073
...I figured it was
about maternity leave.
137
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,232
Oh. Yeah.
138
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,599
Yeah, that would have been
a much simpler problem.
139
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:42,753
- Oh, hello.
- Oh, it's you. I see you everywhere.
140
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,873
I'm Jim. Jim Nelson.
141
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,794
Hi, Jim-Jim Nelson.
I'm Phoebe-Phoebe Buffay.
142
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,633
- We've seen each other a lot lately.
- Yes.
143
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:56,476
Maybe we'll see each other at
dinner tomorrow. Around 8:00?
144
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,473
Well, maybe we will.
145
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,473
Mona?
146
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:36,760
Okay, if I were a salmon shirt,
where would I be?
147
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,073
I am so sorry I spilled wine
all over your shirt.
148
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,276
- It's okay.
- No, it's still wet.
149
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,797
Let me get it out before it sets.
I have something you could wear.
150
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,232
Here.
151
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,556
I don't know if I want to wear
a woman's shirt.
152
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,955
- That's a man's shirt.
- Awfully pink.
153
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,917
It's not pink!
154
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,714
Honey, we are so meant
to be together.
155
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:18,113
- We both have the Annie soundtrack.
- Honey, both yours.
156
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,112
Hey, great advice on that Joey thing.
157
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,510
- The work problem?
- It was perfect.
158
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,830
It felt like he was my friend.
159
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,755
- What problem did you say you have?
- Oh, that's not important.
160
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,754
The point is,
I think everything's gonna be okay.
161
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:38,953
May I help you?
162
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,590
You think you can just buy
my friend's baby?
163
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:54,989
Isn't it funny how we kept meeting?
It's as if someone wants us together.
164
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,475
Someone does. Me.
165
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,793
Witty banter. Well done. Good.
166
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:04,999
- Tell me a little bit about yourself.
- Okay. I'm a masseuse.
167
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:09,676
- And I used to work at this place...
- Do you like to party?
168
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,636
I like parties.
169
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,189
You're wild, aren't you?
170
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:22,076
- Yeah, I guess. A little.
- Ain't no thing. I'm wild too.
171
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,510
So anyway...
172
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,794
...I've lived in New York,
somewhat wildly, I guess...
173
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,032
...for, well, since I was 14.
174
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,509
I'm sorry. I'm staring.
175
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:41,593
It's just that you have
the most beautiful eyes.
176
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,795
Oh, stop it.
177
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,349
And your breasts!
178
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,679
Okay.
179
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,593
Look, you're coming on
a little strong.
180
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,558
I'll give you the benefit
of the doubt.
181
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,109
The universe wants us
to be together.
182
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:02,239
Why don't we start over?
You can tell me about yourself.
183
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,231
- All right.
- Okay.
184
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,233
I write erotic novels...
185
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,879
...for children.
186
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,908
- What?
- They're wildly unpopular.
187
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,551
Oh, my God!
188
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,439
Also, you might like to know
I have a Ph.D.
189
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,353
- Wow! You do?
- Yep. A pretty huge...
190
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:23,873
All right.
191
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,151
- Hey.
- Joey, honey, listen.
192
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,756
Thanks for talking to me yesterday.
It meant a lot.
193
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:47,070
Not a problem.
Just so you know...
194
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:51,552
...that guy won't be bothering
you about that baby thing anymore.
195
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,959
- What?
- Let's just say I took care of it.
196
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,870
Let's say more.
197
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,189
Don't worry.
198
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,078
I told him, very nicely:
199
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,949
"You don't go buying people's babies!
So back off!"
200
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,270
- What?
- What?
201
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,509
No, no, no!
202
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,752
He doesn't want to buy my baby!
I made that up!
203
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,070
What? Why?
204
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:18,278
So we would have something
to talk about!
205
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,079
And you couldn't think
of anything else?
206
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,676
You said your boss
wants to buy your baby?
207
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:29,072
You yelled at my boss!
I'll lose my job! What am I gonna do?
208
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,959
You could always sell your baby.
209
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:36,914
I can't believe you brought
my boss into it! I'll be fired!
210
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,913
- You lied to me!
- Well, she told me to!
211
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,357
Chandler has two copies of Annie!
212
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:23,789
Oh, my God!
213
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,756
- Ross!
- Hello!
214
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,039
What are you doing?
215
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:35,877
Not touching myself, if that makes
anyone less uncomfortable.
216
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,549
Morning. You wanted to see me?
217
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,473
Please, come in. Have a seat.
218
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,592
- Look, Mr. Zelner...
- It's best I speak first.
219
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:51,909
Yeah.
220
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:58,430
Lee from human resources is here
as a witness to our conversation.
221
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,033
Oh, God.
222
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:06,910
If I in any way implied
that I wanted to buy your baby...
223
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,191
...I am sorry. Okay?
224
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,796
Last week, when I asked you
when your due date was...
225
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:20,114
...I certainly did not mean that
I felt that I was "due" your baby.
226
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,310
I want to be very clear...
227
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,677
...that I understand
that it's your baby...
228
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,550
...and it is not mine to purchase.
229
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,590
Well, as long as we are clear
about that.
230
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:51,669
There it is.
231
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,115
- Not your regular cleaners.
- I know.
232
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,352
That creep goes there.
I had to find a new one.
233
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:02,150
I have to find a new bank,
adult bookstore, grocery store...
234
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:06,359
- What?
- A new grocery store.
235
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,756
The universe said I'd meet a nice guy.
I got that?
236
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,639
When I get up there,
I'm gonna kick some ass.
237
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,839
You'll meet someone. If I can meet
a great guy, so can you.
238
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,754
Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
239
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,919
- You didn't have to come in.
- You kidding?
240
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:32,835
This is where they get out stains.
This is like Disneyland for me.
241
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:37,278
I'm gonna be over here watching
the dance of the clean shirts.
242
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,354
Excuse me.
I think you dropped...
243
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,911
- Wow!
- What?
244
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,594
Sorry.
You're just so incredibly beautiful.
245
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,719
Well, I'm sorry about that too.
But what are you gonna do?
246
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,190
Don't think I'm crazy,
but I was meant to pick this up.
247
00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:01,114
- Do you believe in that kind of thing?
- A little.
248
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,311
Now you're talking.
249
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,999
- Want to go for coffee?
- I'd love to. Let me tell my friend.
250
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,436
An ink stain!
Can I watch how you get this out?
251
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,591
She must have left.
252
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,512
- So? What happened?
- It's all gonna be okay.
253
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:26,515
They're so happy I'm not suing, I got
an extra month paid maternity leave.
254
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:30,759
So long as I understand the money
should not be construed...
255
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,117
...as a down payment on this
or any other child.
256
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,999
Ralph Lauren is going
out of their way...
257
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,470
...to show they're not
in the baby-buying business.
258
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,316
- Give us a minute?
- Kicking me out of my living room?
259
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,437
Yeah.
260
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,638
I'll be in there.
261
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:57,199
I'm sorry I lied to you.
I was just trying to make things...
262
00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:59,635
I know. I know.
263
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,034
It kind of worked.
264
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,637
I don't know about you,
but I haven't thought about our thing.
265
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,472
Yeah, you're right.
266
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,835
Yeah. It's kind of been
like "us" again, a little bit.
267
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,117
- Yeah, I know. I've missed that.
- Me too.
268
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,716
I haven't thought about
how I put myself out there...
269
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,509
...and said that stuff.
How you didn't feel the same...
270
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:27,514
...and how it was really awkward.
271
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,797
My gynecologist tried to kill me.
272
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,355
Item J437-A.
273
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,398
Color: winterberry.
274
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,154
Hi, listen.
Come here. Come...
275
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,710
I'm so, so sorry about yesterday.
276
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:10,556
Listen, you don't have to apologize.
I understand why you were there.
277
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,872
- You do?
- Yeah. You still have feelings for me.
278
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:17,635
To be honest,
I still have feelings for you.
279
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,439
I wish we could work out,
but we can't.
280
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:25,549
It's too complicated with you and
Rachel and the baby. I just...
281
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,712
It just wasn't meant to be.
282
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,912
Oh, God. You're right.
283
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:36,114
Ross, we have to be strong.
284
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,395
Okay, I'm gonna go.
285
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,951
Can I? To remember you?
286
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,672
No.
287
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,229
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
288
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,389
[ENGLISH]
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
<font color="#ffff00" size=14>www.tvsubtitles.net</font>
Season 8 Episode 18
{90}{184}Is it okay if I bring someone|to your parents' anniversary?
{189}{214}- Sure.|- Yeah.
{219}{297}- Who's the guy?|- Parker, we met at the cleaners.
{312}{402}Did he put a little starch|in your bloomers?
{441}{489}Who said that?
{497}{616}No, he's really great, though.|He has this incredible zest for
life.
{622}{760}He treats me like a queen. Except|when he treats me like a
naughty girl.
{789}{858}Would it be okay if I give the toast?
{867}{933}Even after what happened|at their 20th?
{938}{1047}- I'd really like to.|- Hopefully this time Mom won't boo you.
{1052}{1181}Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast,|and it always makes them
cry.
{1186}{1322}- This year, I'm gonna make them cry.|- You wonder why Ross is
their favorite?
{1327}{1450}Any time Ross makes a toast, everyone|cries and pats him on
the back.
{1456}{1568}And they all come up to me and say,|"God, your brother."
{1574}{1678}You know what they're gonna say|this year? "God, you."
{1715}{1786}Well, at least one|person will be crying.
{1790}{1892}I'm an actor, and any actor|worth his salt can cry on cue.
{1897}{1995}- Really? You can do that?|- Oh, you kidding me? Watch.
{2232}{2315}Well, I can't do it|with you guys watching me!
{2327}{2377}The One in Massapequa
{3285}{3366}- What are you doing?|- I'm working on my toast.
{3371}{3455}Or as I like to call it:|"Sob-fest 2002."
{3484}{3536}- Hey, check this out.|- It's a dog.
{3541}{3603}It's a dead dog.
{3608}{3679}Chi-Chi. She died|when I was in high school.
{3684}{3777}- You're talking about a dead pet?|- It's good stuff, huh?
{3872}{3946}Joey? You got a present|for my parents?
{3951}{4066}In honor of their 35th anniversary,|I had a star named after
them.
{4072}{4220}- That is so cool.|- And I got "Kama Sutra for the Elderly."
{4237}{4305}- Do you guys have any extra ribbon?|- Sure.
{4310}{4467}What do you need? We got lace,|satin, sateen, raffia, gingham,
felt...
{4490}{4560}And I think my testicles|may be in here too.
{4641}{4758}Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog.
{4763}{4873}Monica couldn't get braces|because Chi-Chi needed knee
surgery.
{4901}{5023}- What?|- You're the 200-pounder that rode her!
{5107}{5195}Hey! Everybody, this is Parker.|Parker, this is...
{5201}{5320}No, don't tell me. Let me guess:|Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel...
{5325}{5415}...and I'm sorry,|Phoebe didn't mention you.
{5429}{5512}Chandler, I'm kidding!|Already you're my favorite.
{5517}{5635}- Tell me a little about yourselves.|- Actually, we should get
going.
{5681}{5716}Classic Ross!
{5779}{5863}Rachel, look how you glow! May I?
{5877}{5924}I think you already are.
{5929}{6012}Rachel, you have life|growing inside you.
{6022}{6153}Is there anything more miraculous...|A picture of a dog! Whose
is this?
{6193}{6267}That's my old dog.|He passed away years ago.
{6272}{6418}Well, at least you were lucky to have|him. Bow-wow, old
friend. Bow-wow.
{6470}{6551}- So where's the party?|- It's in Massapequa.
{6557}{6693}Massapequa, it sounds magical. Is it|steeped in Native
American history?
{6698}{6783}Well, there is an Arby's|in the shape of a tepee.
{6789}{6853}I got my notes. You got the presents?
{6859}{6955}- I've got the car keys.|- We're driving? Aces.
{7021}{7121}- So he seems like a nice guy.|- Yeah, I like him a lot.
{7127}{7245}- You want to hang back and take a cab?|- Okay, otherwise I'm
not going.
{7449}{7530}- Hey, Mom.|- This is such a great party!
{7540}{7658}Thirty-five years. Impressive.|Do you have any pearls of
wisdom?
{7670}{7785}- Jack?|- Why serve food on such a sharp stick?
{7790}{7875}It's a good question, Dad.|It's a good question.
{7916}{8021}- Congratulations, you two.|- Thank you, we're so excited.
{8026}{8115}And also, congratulations|on your wedding.
{8137}{8230}- Can we talk to you for just a moment?|- Yeah.
{8268}{8309}It's just a little thing.
{8314}{8455}While we think it's marvelous you're|having this baby out of
wedlock...
{8469}{8538}...our friends are less open-minded.
{8544}{8605}- We told them you're married.|- What?
{8610}{8670}Thanks for going along with this.
{8696}{8802}- We have to pretend that we're married?|- I had to shave my
ears.
{8807}{8838}You can do this.
{8880}{8931}- Can you believe that?|- I know.
{8937}{9041}If you do the ears, you may as well|take a pass at the nose.
{9046}{9125}I don't want to have to lie|about being married.
{9130}{9224}I don't either. But it's their party,|and it's one night.
{9229}{9291}We don't have to lie.|We won't talk.
{9296}{9376}If it comes up,|we'll smile, we'll nod along...
{9381}{9406}- Ross?|- Rachel?
{9411}{9490}Hi, Aunt Lisa. Uncle Dan.
{9495}{9613}Congratulations on the baby|and on the wedding.
{9647}{9754}- Here's something to start you out.|- How's marriage treating
you?
{9769}{9845}- Unbelievable. It's great!|- I love marriage.
{9850}{9884}We'll see you later.
{9889}{9942}- Hey!|- Hi!
{9962}{10035}What a beautiful place.|What a great night.
{10040}{10170}I have to tell you, being here|with all of you in Event Room
C...
{10191}{10296}...I feel so lucky. Think of the good|times that happened
here.
{10300}{10423}The birthdays, the proms,|the mitzvahs, both bar and bat!
{10447}{10546}None will compare with tonight.|I don't want to forget it.
{10551}{10677}It's like I want to take a mental|picture of you all. Click.
{10696}{10770}I don't think the flash went off.
{10852}{10913}- I'm gonna find the men's room.|- Me too.
{10917}{11076}There is someone with a tranquilizer|gun and a net looking
for that man.
{11083}{11199}I have to go too, but I don't|want him complimenting my
thing.
{11204}{11272}Glad we weren't in the car.|Did he let up?
{11277}{11380}He called the Long Island|Expressway a "concrete miracle."
{11393}{11463}This room. This night.
{11469}{11611}That waiter! His shoes!|I must take a mental picture!
{11617}{11655}Sorry.
{11742}{11825}Were you guys making fun of Parker?
{11831}{11915}That depends, how much did you hear?
{11941}{12030}He's a little enthusiastic.|What's wrong with that?
{12034}{12106}- It's so much.|- Well, so what? I like him.
{12111}{12211}Do I make fun of the people you date?|Tag, Janice, Mona.
{12217}{12321}No, because friends don't do that.|Do you want my opinion?
{12325}{12481}Your collective dating record reads|like a who's who of
human crap!
{12517}{12596}- I feel terrible.|- I know.
{12622}{12668}What was wrong with Mona?
{12811}{12875}- Open it, open it, open it.|- Yeah, baby!
{12881}{12974}So we never got to hear|about your wedding.
{12979}{13125}- We were surprised we weren't invited.|- No, it was a small
wedding.
{13129}{13243}But it was beautiful.|It was small, but kind of spectacular.
{13248}{13363}- Where did you have it?|- On a cliff in Barbados, at
sunset.
{13369}{13494}And Stevie Wonder sang "Isn't She|Lovely" as I walked down
the aisle.
{13499}{13595}- Stevie's a family friend.|- Oh, my God. That's amazing.
{13601}{13692}- I'd love to see pictures.|- Yeah, so would I.
{13697}{13830}You wouldn't think Annie Liebowitz|would forget to put film
in the camera.
{13862}{13922}Would you excuse us for a second?
{14016}{14140}- What are you doing?|- What? This may be my only wedding.
{14161}{14251}- And I want it to be amazing.|- Okay.
{14257}{14361}- Maybe I rode in on a Harley.|- Ross, it has to be
realistic.
{14482}{14581}Say, are you okay?|You seem kind of quiet.
{14586}{14723}- No, I'm fine. I'm great. I'm with you.|- And I'm with you.
What a great time!
{14759}{14830}Look at this plate bouncy thing.
{14855}{14960}What an inspired solution to man's|plate-dispensing
problems.
{14973}{15053}Oysters! Let me feed you.|That's not necessary.
{15058}{15094}- Please?|- I don't eat...
{15099}{15180}- I won't quit until you try one.|- Okay, fine.
{15242}{15317}- Good.|- What're they like? I've never had one.
{15365}{15421}- Try one.|- They look too weird.
{15502}{15615}- What are you doing?|- Going over my toast.
{15620}{15744}I can't wait. They'll cry so hard,|they'll be fighting for
breath.
{15752}{15860}If you want to, I could just|hold them down and you could
just...
{15886}{16008}And my veil was lace,|made by blind Belgian nuns.
{16013}{16096}- Blind?|- Not at first, but it's intricate work.
{16102}{16204}They said even though they lost|their sight, it was worth
it.
{16214}{16295}- I bet you looked beautiful.|- Well, I don't know.
{16301}{16420}But there were some people that said|I looked like a
floating angel.
{16430}{16541}- How did you propose?|- Oh, yeah, that's a great story.
{16567}{16668}Well, actually, I took her|to the planetarium.
{16677}{16765}That's where we had our first date.
{16775}{16884}I had the room filled with lilies,|her favorite flower.
{16900}{16990}- That is so sweet!|- I want to hear the rest!
{17027}{17145}Then Fred Astaire singing,|"The Way You Look Tonight" came
on...
{17150}{17221}...the lights came down,|I got on one knee...
{17227}{17331}...and written across the dome,|in the stars, were the
words:
{17337}{17400}"Will you marry me?"
{17422}{17519}And the ring was the size of my fist.
{17552}{17630}Hey, Phoebe? Look...
{17667}{17755}...I want to apologize. Okay?|We were being jerks.
{17761}{17858}- Parker's nice, I'd like to know him.|- You better do it
now.
{17863}{17922}- Why?|- Because I'm gonna kill him.
{17927}{18040}- What?|- He's too excited about everything.
{18045}{18150}I'm all for living, but this is|the Gellers' 35th
anniversary.
{18155}{18228}Let's call a spade a spade.|This party stinks.
{18232}{18279}I'm having the worst time.
{18283}{18383}There was a line for the buffet,|and when I got to the
plates...
{18388}{18465}...I slipped on a giant booger.
{18516}{18591}Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?
{18611}{18680}It could've been.|I didn't look at it.
{18686}{18781}I wiped it on Chandler's coat|and got the hell out.
{18787}{18881}I thought he was a great guy.|I was so excited about him.
{18886}{18968}Well, hey, you should|be excited about him.
{18974}{19030}There's nothing wrong with him.
{19035}{19083}- You think?|- Yeah, know what?
{19088}{19178}- We were all just being too negative.|- You're right.
{19184}{19305}He's just embracing life. We could|all stand to be more like
Parker.
{19309}{19396}You know what? I'm like him!|I'm a positive person!
{19406}{19479}- Actually, you have an edge.|- What's that?
{19530}{19596}- Oh, it's Parker!|- Look, the Bunny Hop!
{19602}{19641}- Oh, I love it!|- You do?
{19646}{19759}Are you kidding? People acting|like animals to music? Come
on!
{19805}{19870}Okay, it's time for the toast.
{19874}{19989}I know normally Ross gives the toast,|but this year I'll do
it.
{20022}{20107}No, it's gonna be great. Really.
{20127}{20161}Okay.
{20167}{20271}Mom, Dad, when I got married...
{20277}{20422}...the thing that made me sure I could|do it was the example
you two set.
{20437}{20525}For that, and other things,|I want to thank you.
{20530}{20625}I know I probably don't|say it enough...
{20636}{20685}...but I love you.
{20946}{21104}When I look around, I'm saddened by the|thought of those who
could not be here.
{21112}{21240}Nana, my beloved grandmother,|who would so want to be here.
{21247}{21291}But she can't...
{21297}{21336}...because she's dead.
{21427}{21497}As is our dog, Chi-Chi.
{21546}{21618}I mean, look how cute she is... was.
{21680}{21742}Do me a favor,|pass this to my parents.
{21747}{21869}Remember she's dead, okay?|Her and Nana, gone.
{21961}{22005}Wow!
{22122}{22168}Does anybody remember when...
{22174}{22307}...Debra Winger had to say goodbye to|her children in "Terms
of Endearment"?
{22342}{22378}Didn't see that?
{22400}{22461}No movie fans?!
{22504}{22555}You want to hear something sad?
{22561}{22663}I was watching a "60 Minutes"|piece on orphans in Romania...
{22669}{22790}...who have been so neglected|that they were incapable of
love.
{22920}{23000}You people are made of stone!
{23005}{23085}Here's to Mom and Dad. Whatever!
{23237}{23321}Thank you, Monica.|That was interesting.
{23327}{23440}- Wasn't it interesting, Jack?|- Why don't I remember this
dog?
{23496}{23573}Ross? Why don't you give us|your toast now?
{23578}{23671}Oh, no, Mom.|It's just Monica this year.
{23677}{23782}You're not saying anything?|On our 35th wedding anniversary?
{23817}{23860}No, of course.
{23927}{24060}Everybody? I just wanted to say...
{24066}{24142}...on behalf of my new bride, Rachel...
{24221}{24315}...and myself, that if...
{24332}{24463}...if in 35 years, we're half|as happy as you guys are...
{24469}{24570}...we'll count ourselves|the luckiest people in the world.
{24582}{24629}Oh, Ross.
{24702}{24813}I just wish Nana were alive|to hear Ross' toast.
{24971}{25065}My God, what a fantastically|well-lit hallway.
{25088}{25210}Can I get you something to drink,|like a water and Valium?
{25217}{25318}I must say, this apartment,|it's... there are no words.
{25323}{25386}- Thank God.|- It's a haven.
{25392}{25519}- A third-floor paradise, a modern Eden.|- Yeah, I know, I
know. Gotcha.
{25524}{25678}Listen, why don't we just sit and|relax, just be with each
other quietly.
{25693}{25740}That sounds great.
{25759}{25853}This is the most comfortable couch|I've ever sat on.
{25859}{25928}Let's try something.|Let's play a game.
{25933}{26000}- I love games.|- Shocking.
{26012}{26095}Let's play the game of...
{26110}{26195}...who can stay quiet the longest.
{26211}{26248}Or Jenga.
{26276}{26430}Let's play this one first, and|remember, whoever talks first
loses.
{26512}{26620}- I lose, now Jenga.|- Oh, my God.
{26644}{26721}- Is something wrong?|- You know the word "wrong"?
{26725}{26788}Everything isn't perfect or magical?
{26794}{26883}Everything isn't aglow|with the light of fairies?
{26889}{27045}- They were just brake lights, Parker!|- Excuse me for
seeing good in traffic.
{27064}{27141}You don't have to put|a good spin on everything!
{27146}{27260}- I'm sorry. I'm a positive person.|- No, I'm a positive
person.
{27266}{27365}You are like Santa Claus on Prozac.
{27372}{27458}At Disneyland, getting laid!
{27481}{27579}You want me to be negative?|You want me to be less happy?
{27584}{27633}Much less happy.
{27642}{27737}Fine. Well, then to quote Ross,|"I better be going."
{27784}{27831}So long!
{27840}{27964}Don't let the "best door in the world"|hit you in the ass on
your way out.
{28059}{28170}Isn't this the most incredible fight|you've had in your
life?
{28234}{28382}We could've gone from the ceremony to|the reception with you
in the sidecar.
{28387}{28432}It just isn't feasible.
{28437}{28571}But a dove placing the ring on your|finger would've been no
problem.
{28606}{28731}- It was fun being married to you.|- Yeah, and it was an
easy 400 bucks.
{28769}{28853}- Okay, Ross, can I ask you something?|- Yeah.
{28859}{28970}- That proposal at the planetarium?|- I know, I know. It was
stupid.
{28975}{29117}Are you kidding? With the lilies,|and the song and the
stars?
{29121}{29243}It was really wonderful.|Did you just make that up?
{29262}{29326}I thought of it|when we were going out.
{29332}{29445}That's how I imagined|I would ask you to marry me.
{29467}{29505}Wow.
{29527}{29635}Well, that would've been|very hard to say no to.
{29706}{29837}It's a good thing I didn't do it, it|sounds like a very
expensive wedding.
{29986}{30075}- Okay, good night.|- Good night.
{30152}{30249}Even if the sidecar had a windscreen|to protect your hair?
{30254}{30334}- I will think about it.|- That's all I'm asking.
{30425}{30480}Okay, that's it. I give up.
{30485}{30572}At Mom and Dad's 40th anniversary,|you give the speech.
{30577}{30667}You know, I don't understand|why they didn't cry.
{30672}{30746}- Come on.|- That stuff you said about true love?
{30752}{30860}You were right. We did learn|a lot from Mom and Dad.
{30866}{30955}That picture of Chi-Chi|with her mischievous grin.
{30961}{31115}And what you said about Nana? Yeah,|she really would've
wanted to be there.
{31126}{31185}And you know what?
{31211}{31262}I think she was.
{31297}{31385}Oh, good God, Ross,|how the hell do you do it?
{31500}{31525}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 19
{85}{202}Hi. So I'm doing the "Soap Opera Digest"|crossword puzzle...
{207}{297}...and guess who is the clue|for three down?
{302}{388}"Days of Our Lives" star,|blank Tribbiani."
{393}{463}That's me! I'm blank!
{480}{574}How cool! We know three down!|I'm touching three down.
{579}{619}Yeah, you are, baby.
{624}{718}Three down knows I'm married.|What's three down doing?
{723}{786}Do they call to tell you you're in it?
{791}{879}No. They wanted to do|a profile on me. I said no.
{884}{918}Why'd you say no?
{923}{986}Remember the last interview I did?
{991}{1073}I said I write my own lines,|the writers got mad...
{1078}{1191}...and I fell down an elevator shaft.|Who knows what I'd say
now?
{1196}{1308}If only there was something|in your head to control what you
say.
{1313}{1387}Come on, you'll keep it|in check this time.
{1392}{1497}The publicity would be good for you.|You deserve that.
{1502}{1635}In the interview, you could mention,|I don't know, "gal pal
Rachel Green."
{1640}{1739}Is that "gal pal" spelled L-O-S-E-R?
{1757}{1878}- Okay, don't listen to him. Please?|- Fine, all right, I'll
do it.
{1883}{1983}You have to be there to stop me|if I say something stupid.
{1988}{2105}Just then, or all the time?|Because we have jobs, you know?
{2127}{2212}We'll be there the whole time.|Just remember:
{2217}{2295}Gal pal, Rachel Green.
{2312}{2455}I'm gonna be in "Soap Opera Digest"!|And not just in the dumb
crossword.
{2460}{2513}Seriously, proud of you.
{2527}{2577}The One With Joey's Interview
{3466}{3613}- Thanks for taking the time for this.|- Not at all. Happy to
do it.
{3624}{3680}You think we're being obvious?
{3685}{3812}No. We're just four people with|neck problems, who talk like
this.
{3817}{3869}It's great that we met here.
{3874}{4018}When people hear the magazine's paying,|they want a big, fancy
restaurant.
{4031}{4114}Actually, I didn't know|the magazine was paying.
{4123}{4236}Wouldn't have mattered. I do this|for the fans, not the free
food.
{4241}{4301}- Can I get you anything?|- Coffee.
{4306}{4378}And I'll have all the muffins.
{4443}{4504}- Hey.|- We're not talking.
{4509}{4564}Oh, finally.
{4605}{4712}According to your bio,|you've done quite a bit of work.
{4717}{4798}Anything that you're|particularly proud of?
{4849}{4928}{y:i}All you want is a dingle
{4933}{5004}{y:i}What you envy's a shwang
{5010}{5088}{y:i}A thing through which you can tinkle
{5093}{5165}"Or play with", "or simply let hang"
{5517}{5598}{y:i}This ever happen?|{y:i}You want a glass of milk...
{5603}{5680}{y:i}... but these darn cartons|{y:i}are so hard to open!
{5685}{5730}"Boy", "you said it", "Mike."
{5791}{5880}{y:i}- There's gotta be a better way!|"- There is", "Kevin!"
{5885}{5989}{y:i}This is the first time|{y:i}he's ever used this. It's
easy.
{6008}{6084}{y:i}- This works in any milk carton.|{y:i}- It is easy.
{6089}{6173}{y:i}Now I can have milk every day.
{6194}{6247}So this is it, Victor?
{6263}{6371}Yeah, I guess it is. And so...
{6408}{6492}...I'm gonna get on this spaceship...
{6644}{6763}...and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7|in search of alternative
fuels.
{6770}{6926}But when I return 200 years from now,|you'll be long gone.
{6931}{6993}But I won't have aged at all.
{7067}{7189}So you tell your great-great-|granddaughter to look me up.
{7239}{7289}Because, Adrian...
{7295}{7338}...baby...
{7370}{7435}...I'm gonna want to meet her.
{7627}{7709}Here I come.|I'm coming to fix the copier.
{7714}{7823}I can't get to the copier.|I'm thinking, "What do I do?"
{7847}{7977}So I just watch them have sex.|And then I say... Wait, here's
my line:
{7982}{8061}"You know", "that's bad"|{y:i}for the paper tray.
{8102}{8184}- Nice work, my friend.|- Wait, you see me again.
{8189}{8263}Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.
{8268}{8343}There I am. There I am. There I am.
{8368}{8462}There are so many things,|it's hard to pick just one.
{8478}{8542}I'm getting coffee. Want anything?
{8547}{8648}- A blueberry muffin and chamomile tea.|- Double latte.
{8653}{8738}- A bagel with only...|- I was just being polite.
{8770}{8890}How about when you're not working?|What do you do in your
spare time?
{8931}{9050}Look at this clown. He thinks|he can take up the whole river.
{9055}{9138}Get out of the way, jackass!
{9155}{9243}Who names their boat|"Coast Guard", anyway?
{9277}{9322}That is the Coast Guard.
{9327}{9438}What are they doing out here?|The coast is way over there!
{9454}{9501}This is unbelievable.
{9506}{9623}Joey has been holding his breath|for almost four minutes.
{9717}{9787}Dude, are you trying to kill me?
{9928}{10011}Well, I see you've had|a very productive day.
{10016}{10115}- Isn't the cowboy hat a little much?|- Come on, it's fun!
{10188}{10234}All right.
{10390}{10443}Isn't this a woman's hat?
{10448}{10533}Dude, stop talking crazy|and make us some tea.
{10557}{10623}We have to turn off the porn.
{10642}{10703}I think you're right.
{10735}{10777}- All right, ready?|- One.
{10782}{10848}- Two, three.|- Three.
{10942}{10990}That's kind of nice.
{10995}{11051}- It's kind of a relief.|- Yeah.
{11211}{11286}- You wanna see if we still have it?|- Yeah.
{11304}{11368}Free porn! We have free porn here!
{11378}{11453}In my spare time, I read to the blind.
{11458}{11538}And I'm also a mento for kids.
{11558}{11639}- A mento?|- You know, a mento. A role model.
{11710}{11758}- A mento?|- Right.
{11763}{11848}- Like the candy?|- As a matter of fact, I do.
{11904}{12043}Our readers always want to know how|soap stars stay in such
great shape.
{12048}{12106}Do you have a fitness regime?
{12111}{12226}We stars usually just try to eat right|and get lots of
exercise.
{12240}{12345}You know we've thrown this|without dropping it for an hour?
{12350}{12380}Are you serious?
{12385}{12509}I realized it a half-hour ago,|but I didn't want to jinx it.
{12514}{12600}- Wow, we are pretty good at this.|- Yeah.
{12605}{12673}Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.
{12678}{12762}That's the first time|I've ever missed a meal.
{12767}{12838}My pants are a little loose.
{12863}{12910}What's wrong with you?
{12915}{13035}I got this blinding pain in my stomach|when I was lifting
weights.
{13040}{13105}And then I passed out.
{13110}{13234}I haven't been able to stand up since.|But I don't think
it's serious.
{13239}{13309}Sounds like a hernia.|Go to the doctor.
{13314}{13344}No way!
{13349}{13484}If I go to the doctor, it's for this|thing sticking out of
my stomach!
{13536}{13613}Why'd I have to start|working out again?
{13618}{13681}Damn you, fifteens!
{13686}{13757}- What is it?|- A trifle. It has layers.
{13762}{13843}A layer of ladyfingers,|then a layer of jam.
{13848}{13926}Then custard,|which I made from scratch.
{13931}{14046}Raspberries, more ladyfingers,|beef sauteed with peas and
onions.
{14051}{14121}Then a little bit more custard.
{14136}{14196}It tastes like feet.
{14242}{14299}I like it.
{14365}{14462}- Are you kidding?|- What's not to like? Custard, good.
{14467}{14539}Jam, good. Meat, good!
{14599}{14669}Well, you don't look good, Joe.
{14697}{14791}Well, the fridge broke,|so I had to eat everything.
{14796}{14859}Cold cuts, ice cream, limes.
{14864}{14929}Hey, what was in that brown jar?
{14934}{15004}- That's still in there?|- Not anymore.
{15009}{15076}This piece doesn't have floor on it.
{15081}{15168}- Stick to your side.|- Hey, come on, now.
{15424}{15484}All right, what are we having?
{15591}{15719}I don't believe in these crazy diets.|Just everything in
moderation.
{15724}{15767}Your muffins.
{15804}{15866}I'll take those to go.
{15871}{15903}For the kids.
{15951}{16004}I know what I wanted to ask.
{16009}{16105}They killed you off years ago.|What happened there?
{16110}{16214}I said some stuff in an interview|I shouldn't have said.
{16219}{16320}- But that is not gonna happen today.|- Understood.
{16325}{16419}- So, what'd you say back then?|- I said that l...
{16424}{16495}- Hey, Joey!|- How you doing?
{16598}{16715}This is Shelly. She's interviewing me.|Shelly, these are my
friends.
{16720}{16840}Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green.|If you want the dirt, come to
me.
{16845}{16938}This might be Joey's baby, who knows?
{16949}{17052}I'm just kidding.|Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.
{17057}{17158}Who just lost the respect|of her unborn child.
{17163}{17229}I'm gonna go get this warmed up.
{17234}{17316}- You're doing great.|- So far, nothing stupid.
{17321}{17370}- Mento?|- No, thanks.
{17422}{17542}As Joey's friends, is there anything|our readers should
know?
{17547}{17619}No, just that he is a great guy.
{17624}{17695}That'll get you|into "Soap Opera Digest."
{17700}{17734}Well, l...
{17739}{17791}I'd like to say that Joey...
{17796}{17909}...truly has enriched|the days of our lives.
{17922}{18030}I think that you don't expect|someone so hot to be so sweet.
{18035}{18145}- I like that. What's your name?|- Phoebe Buffay.
{18150}{18276}- How do you spell that?|- It's P as in Phoebe. H as in
Heebie.
{18281}{18335}O as in Obie. E as in Ebie.
{18340}{18460}B as in Beebee.|And E as in, "'ello there, mate!"
{18468}{18534}Great. It was nice meeting you.
{18539}{18606}- Yeah, you too.|- Thanks.
{18623}{18733}It seems you have a lot of friends.|Who is your best friend?
{18826}{18883}How come you have two?
{18904}{18959}Well, this one's for you.
{18964}{19032}- Get out!|- No, I can't.
{19067}{19188}I know how much this means to you.|This isn't just about
jewelry.
{19193}{19318}It's about you and me|and the fact that we're best buds.
{19350}{19439}Is this friendship? I think so!
{19444}{19514}Check it out! We're bracelet buddies!
{19519}{19580}That's what they'll call us!
{19634}{19726}- I'm sorry.|- It's all right. Don't worry about it.
{19731}{19791}That's gonna leave a stain.
{19796}{19892}Rach, hey, it's fine.|You're at Joey's.
{19905}{19968}- Really?|- Yeah, look.
{20099}{20180}- I've never lived like this before.|- I know!
{20266}{20363}Well, don't waste it.|I mean, it's still food. Jeez!
{20377}{20452}I feel guilty.|I wanna be a good friend...
{20457}{20573}...and damn it, I am a good friend.|So shut up and close
your eyes.
{20696}{20746}You are a good friend.
{20751}{20843}The audition was this morning,|and I didn't get it.
{20861}{20986}But that was a hell of a kiss.|Rachel is a very lucky girl.
{21040}{21143}Let's get the contestants|out of their isolation booths.
{21148}{21193}And they're off!
{21206}{21277}Get your foot off my contestant!|Judge!
{21282}{21346}Judge rules: No violation.
{21359}{21489}- The duck gets the Nutter Butter!|- No! That's just an old
won ton.
{21495}{21581}Judge rules: Nutter Butter!
{21588}{21640}Tough call.
{21649}{21788}- I saw it on the Discovery Channel.|- Wait a minute. I saw
that!
{21793}{21864}Yeah, about jellyfish,|and how if you...
{21976}{22031}You peed on yourself?
{22065}{22146}You can't say that! You don't know!
{22151}{22225}I thought I'd pass out from the pain.
{22230}{22338}Anyway, I tried,|but I couldn't bend that way.
{22400}{22443}So...
{22576}{22654}That's right, I stepped up!
{22704}{22779}She's my friend and she needed help!
{22784}{22871}If I had to,|I'd pee on any one of you!
{22960}{23023}Nope. No best friend.
{23028}{23098}Just a lot of close friends.
{23108}{23183}So now back to the show.
{23188}{23289}How does it feel|to have a huge gay fan base?
{23294}{23346}Really? Me?
{23352}{23452}Wow, I don't even know|any huge gay people.
{23457}{23544}It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
{23554}{23658}Now, off the record, you're not...
{23671}{23762}What? Are you referring|to my man's bag?
{23779}{23863}At first, it just looked good,|but it's practical.
{23868}{23967}It's got compartments for stuff:|Your wallet, your keys.
{23972}{24025}Your makeup.
{24045}{24140}Should I climb down your front|so we're face to face...
{24145}{24278}...or should I climb down your back|so we're butt to face?
{24288}{24348}- I think face is best.|- Yeah, face.
{24371}{24453}- Okay, here I come.|- All right.
{24515}{24604}Oh, my...|How much do you weigh, Ross?
{24610}{24737}I prefer not to answer that. I'm still|carrying a little
holiday weight.
{24910}{25052}When we said "face to face," we didn't|think it all the way
through!
{25057}{25106}- Hey, Pheebs.|- Hey!
{25164}{25213}Check it out.
{25330}{25398}How much of a man am I?
{25404}{25513}Nice. Manly and also kind of a slut.
{25521}{25575}You're turning into a woman.
{25585}{25708}No, I'm not! Why would you say that?|That's just mean!
{25738}{25803}Now I've upset you? What did I say?
{25808}{25899}Not what you said,|it's just the way you said it.
{25904}{25978}Oh, my God! I'm a woman!
{26192}{26276}- Great nap.|- It really was.
{26599}{26654}Me? Gay? No. No. No.
{26660}{26743}But I have a number|of close friends who are.
{26805}{26853}So let's talk about women.
{26858}{26952}I'm sure our female readers are|interested in your romantic
life.
{26957}{27047}What I do is, I look a woman|up and down and I say:
{27052}{27142}"Hey. How you doing?"
{27192}{27231}Oh, please.
{27237}{27308}Hey. How you doing?
{27415}{27481}Hey. How you doing?
{27486}{27555}He has an amazing Porsche under there.
{27561}{27670}I'd love to show you, but I just|tucked her in. She's
sleeping.
{27675}{27758}Would you two girls|like to go for a drink?
{27895}{27980}- Is Rachel here? I'm her sister.|- Oh, my God! Jill!
{27985}{28035}- Oh, my God! Rachel!|- Oh, hi!
{28040}{28142}- Oh, my God! Introduce us!|- Well, this is Chandler.
{28147}{28240}You know Monica and Ross.|That's Phoebe. That's Joey.
{28245}{28323}- Hey, how you doing?|- Don't!
{28383}{28505}You're a really nice guy. I'm happy|to be your roommate and
friend.
{28510}{28634}I'm just... You know, I just|don't feel that way about you.
{28689}{28751}I see what happened.
{28756}{28843}It's because I was trying|to repel you. Right?
{28848}{28978}Believe me, you'd feel|a lot different if I turned it on.
{28983}{29053}- I don't think so.|- Oh, I do.
{29105}{29156}How you doing?
{29202}{29247}I'm okay.
{29255}{29328}What? Oh, dear God!
{29424}{29508}Not much to tell there.|I'm really shy.
{29569}{29637}So that's it.|I guess that's all I need.
{29642}{29742}Thank you so much.|I think they'll run this next month.
{29747}{29820}Oh, great. Great. Thank you.
{29825}{29883}- Bye.|- Bye-bye.
{29903}{29967}- I did it.|- Amazing.
{29972}{30072}Wait, I almost forgot.|We have to ask everybody this:
{30077}{30162}Other than "Days",|what's your favorite soap opera?
{30167}{30306}Oh, I don't watch soap operas.|Excuse me? I have a life, you
know?
{30339}{30458}The readers at "Soap Opera Digest"|will be happy to learn
that.
{30463}{30503}Good enough.
{30592}{30632}So close.
{30750}{30851}They didn't put in the part|about you not watching soaps.
{30856}{30968}I called the lady and said I|was joking. She was nice about
it.
{30973}{31051}- You slept with her, didn't you?|- A little bit.
{31093}{31151}This picture of you is steamy.
{31156}{31262}That's just a little something|for my huge gay fan base.
{31267}{31373}- Did you just wink at me?|- You're the one who loves the
picture.
{31497}{31522}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 20
{155}{189}- Hi!|- Hey!
{193}{277}So, what's the final head count|on my baby shower?
{282}{348}Twenty. Some work people|had things to do.
{353}{400}Your sisters can't make it.
{405}{469}They're not coming|to a social event...
{473}{575}...where there's no men and no booze?|That's shocking.
{581}{627}As long as my mom's here.
{637}{727}- Oh, my God. Your mother.|- My mom's not gonna be here?
{731}{843}Given we forgot to invite her, it'd|be a big coincidence if she
was.
{853}{901}My God!
{906}{972}Phoebe was in charge|of the invitations.
{976}{1042}I don't have a mother.|Often I forget...
{1047}{1103}Oh, give it a rest.
{1110}{1185}So my mother is not coming|to my baby shower?
{1189}{1222}No.
{1233}{1301}Neither is mine.
{1306}{1413}We'll take care of it. We'll call her.|You go home and get
ready.
{1417}{1502}Make sure she comes.|It's important. It's my mom.
{1507}{1581}- I know. What's her number?|- I don't know.
{1586}{1658}Go. I have it in my book. Go.
{1792}{1887}If you're in charge of invitations,|why am I calling her?
{1891}{1965}Hello, Mrs. Green!|Hi, it's Monica Geller.
{1970}{2009}- Oh, hello, Monica.|{y:i}- Hi.
{2014}{2107}It's last-minute, but we've decided|to throw an impromptu...
{2112}{2206}...baby shower for Rachel today.|- My daughters told me...
{2210}{2322}...when they received their impromptu|invitations a month ago.
{2326}{2412}- Okay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.|"- For what", "dear?"
{2417}{2490}For not inviting me,|or for lying about it?
{2494}{2592}Oh, my God! My ass is sweating.
{2609}{2709}Please, please, can you come?|It starts at 4:00.
{2715}{2820}- Well, all right. I'll see you at 4:00.|- Thank you.
{2826}{2945}- Isn't it at 3:00?|- Son of a bitch!
{2950}{3002}The One With the Baby Shower
{3870}{3914}Hey! Wanna shoot some hoops?
{3920}{4017}I'm practicing for an audition|to be host of a game show.
{4022}{4047}- Cool!|- Great!
{4052}{4128}If I get it, by day,|I'll be Dr. Drake Ramoray.
{4132}{4229}But by night, I'll be Joey Tribbiani!
{4244}{4331}You'd be perfect! That's your name!
{4342}{4423}The audition's soon,|and I don't understand the game.
{4430}{4461}Do you want help?
{4466}{4577}Oh, really? That'd be great.|Hey, you guys can be the
contestants!
{4582}{4664}We can lose to junior-high girls|some other time.
{4678}{4768}- All right. Let's play Bamboozled!|- Bamboozled?
{4773}{4823}- Isn't that a cool name?|- Yeah!
{4827}{4939}All right. Okay.|Our first contestant is Ross Geller.
{4943}{4996}Tell us about yourself, Ross.
{5000}{5113}Well, I'm a paleontologist.|I live in New York.
{5117}{5235}I have a son, Ben. Hi, Ben! And...
{5242}{5322}I said, "a little bit."|How about you, Chandler?
{5326}{5423}I'm a headhunter. I hook up|out-of-work Soviet scientists...
{5427}{5506}...with rogue Third World nations.|Hi, Rasputin.
{5511}{5599}Excellent! Let's play!|Chandler, you'll go first.
{5603}{5671}- What is the capital of Colombia?|- Bogota.
{5676}{5749}It's Bogota, but close enough.
{5774}{5883}You can either pass your turn to Ross|or pick a Wicked Wango
Card.
{5888}{5985}- What does a Wicked Wango Card do?|- I should know that.
{6013}{6069}Let's see. One moment, please...
{6073}{6224}Here we are. A Wicked Wango Card|determines if you go higher
or lower.
{6228}{6284}Higher or lower than what?
{6303}{6416}- This is embarrassing!|- Can you believe how lame this is?
{6420}{6549}I'm sorry. I don't believe contestants|are allowed to talk to
each other.
{6637}{6733}I told the stripper to be here at 5.|That's good, right?
{6763}{6842}You ordered a stripper?|That is inappropriate.
{6847}{6914}Why? He's gonna be dressed as a baby.
{6942}{7029}Oh, hi, Mrs. Green.|I'm so glad you could make it.
{7034}{7148}Thank you so much. We're so sorry.|We could not feel worse
about it.
{7152}{7190}Try.
{7219}{7261}There's my little girl!
{7278}{7329}- She's still mad.|- Yeah, I know.
{7333}{7422}Isn't it great? One less|person to make small talk with.
{7428}{7513}Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too.|It doesn't bother you?
{7518}{7607}We've apologized twice.|I can't do any more than that.
{7611}{7677}You hate it when people|are mad at you...
{7681}{7756}...but you just have|to be okay with it.
{7760}{7840}Okay. I can do that.
{7844}{7923}- I gotta go powder my ass.|- Oh.
{7929}{8002}That face! Like when|you were in high school.
{8006}{8112}If I didn't know better, I'd say|you're a cheerleader in
trouble.
{8116}{8157}Come, let's get some tea.
{8161}{8237}Oh, my! Look at that.|Only three weeks to go.
{8241}{8355}Did you pick a nanny? If you use your|maid, it will split her
focus.
{8359}{8470}Actually, I'm not gonna use a nanny.|And I don't have a maid.
{8475}{8547}It's like you're a cave person.
{8557}{8663}You must get a nanny. You don't|know how overwhelming it will
be.
{8667}{8746}When you were a baby, I had Mrs. K.
{8751}{8848}Mrs. K! Oh, yeah, she was sweet.|She taught me Spanish.
{8852}{8918}I actually think|I remember some of it:
{8922}{9013}{y:i}Tu madre esta loca.
{9036}{9102}Such a sweet woman.
{9107}{9178}As great as she was,|I can't afford that.
{9183}{9227}- Oh, Rachel!|- What?
{9231}{9326}I just had a great idea!|I'm gonna come live with you!
{9336}{9384}What? What?
{9389}{9501}Oh, I'm so happy I'm gonna|do this for my little girl.
{9505}{9588}Look at you.|You have tears in your eyes.
{9626}{9692}Yes, yes, I do.
{9733}{9767}Ross is in the lead.
{9772}{9851}Another question,|or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
{9856}{9946}The Wheel has not been|my friend tonight, Joey.
{9950}{9994}I'll take another question.
{9999}{10051}This is tough. Hold your breath.
{10055}{10098}It's okay. I'm ready.
{10102}{10173}You gotta hold your breath|until you answer.
{10178}{10250}This is ridiculous! He's not gonna...
{10282}{10432}Okay. What do you have a fear of if|you suffer from this
phobia? Triska...
{10436}{10535}Holy cow. That's a big word. Tris...
{10539}{10598}Look at this. How do you say that?
{10602}{10676}- Let me see that.|- This one right here.
{10701}{10769}- Triskaidekaphobia.|- Fear of Triscuits!
{10773}{10879}- No! No. Fear of the number 13.|- Fear of Triscuits?
{10884}{10966}It's possible.|They have really sharp edges.
{10999}{11034}Chandler, you're up.
{11039}{11125}I'm entitled to use my Angel Pass|for a free turn.
{11130}{11233}- This game makes no sense!|- You're upset because you're
losing.
{11238}{11332}Oh, come on, Ross.|I think we're all losers here.
{11348}{11439}You can either spin the Wheel|or pick a Google Card.
{11443}{11529}Let me think, let me think.|Oh, I don't care.
{11576}{11616}You must choose.
{11620}{11725}- Either. It makes no difference.|- Choose, you jackass.
{11749}{11829}- I'll take a card.|- You picked the Gimme Card!
{11833}{11915}- You get all of Ross' points!|- What?
{11933}{11997}This game is kind of fun!
{12001}{12076}You don't think it's crazy|you get my points...?
{12081}{12176}The contestants aren't supposed|to speak to each other.
{12229}{12312}- Why did you invite my mother?|- What?
{12316}{12395}She wants to move in|and help care for the baby.
{12401}{12457}- For how long?|- Eight weeks.
{12461}{12571}I love my mother, but, my God,|a long lunch with her is
taxing.
{12575}{12647}I'd be honored if she wanted|to live with me.
{12652}{12713}She can't hear you.
{12741}{12781}What am I gonna do?
{12786}{12878}If you don't want her to move|in with you, just tell her.
{12882}{12953}You're right.|I'm about to have a baby.
{12957}{13034}I can say I don't want|her sleeping on my couch.
{13038}{13117}She'll wanna sleep in my bed.|This can't happen.
{13122}{13147}That is right.
{13151}{13223}Tell her you don't want her|to live with you.
{13227}{13283}Do not take no for an answer.
{13306}{13418}This is great! Now she's|gonna be mad at Rachel!
{13422}{13545}And I'm just gonna swoop in there and|be like the daughter
she never had.
{13559}{13665}I have new respect for Chandler.
{13671}{13774}All right, everybody!|It's time to open the presents!
{13778}{13849}Yes! The first gift|that Rachel opens...
{13854}{13912}...should be from the grandmother.
{13916}{14059}Because you're the most important|person in this room! And
in the world!
{14070}{14144}I don't have one|because I was invited late.
{14148}{14269}But thank you so much, dear, for|bringing that to
everybody's attention.
{14317}{14427}How about you less important people?|Let's open your
presents!
{14450}{14543}- It's okay that you didn't get a gift.|- I kind of did.
{14547}{14604}Me! Eight weeks of me.
{14608}{14700}Okay. See, Mom?|The truth is, I can do this on my own.
{14704}{14771}I know you're gonna be a terrific mom.
{14775}{14845}But you need help at the beginning.
{14850}{14914}I know what I'm doing.|I can handle it.
{14918}{14962}Really? Remember Twinkles?
{14967}{15062}He was a hamster.|I'm not gonna vacuum up my baby!
{15066}{15146}Okay, come on, Rach.|It's present time!
{15150}{15222}You're the glue holding|this party together.
{15226}{15305}It's kind of falling apart here.
{15309}{15362}- Oh, look!|- Wow!
{15366}{15411}This is from work friends.
{15415}{15548}Oh, my gosh! Oh, wow!|Oh, I know what this is.
{15552}{15596}Wait a minute.
{15600}{15671}That can't be right.
{15686}{15763}Is that a beer bong for a baby?
{15786}{15842}Darling, that's a breast pump.
{15873}{16008}Did I say I was done guessing?|Okay, thank you for that.
{16014}{16075}Oh, wow! What's this?
{16080}{16162}- It's a Diaper Genie.|- It dispenses clean diapers!
{16167}{16216}It's where you put dirty ones.
{16225}{16317}Why don't you take it outside|and throw it in a dumpster?
{16321}{16442}- You're gonna do that 10 times a day?|- What, it goes 10
times a day?
{16446}{16507}Are we feeding this baby Indian food?
{16521}{16587}No, dear. That's what babies do.
{16593}{16697}Rachel, listen to your mother.|She is very smart.
{16723}{16839}What will you do with the baby|while you trot out to the
garbage?
{16853}{16939}I don't know,|I'd leave it on the changing table?
{16944}{17064}- What? What did I do? What did I do?|- You can't leave a
baby alone.
{17068}{17110}Of course, I know that!
{17114}{17183}Of course you never leave|a baby alone.
{17187}{17245}It would...|She wouldn't be safe.
{17255}{17350}Not as safe as she would be|with me, the baby dummy.
{17354}{17446}Opening the presents is a little|overwhelming right now.
{17450}{17532}I'm gonna maybe open|them all a little bit later.
{17536}{17597}Thank you for coming,|for the gifts...
{17601}{17732}...and this basket is beautiful.|- It's actually a bassinet.
{17738}{17814}Okay, Mommy, don't ever leave me.
{17894}{17995}In what film is the line:|"We don't need no stinking
badges!"
{17999}{18070}"- Treasure of the Sierra Madre"!|- Backwards Bonus.
{18075}{18156}"- Madre Sierra the of Treasure"!|- Yes!
{18167}{18232}I'd like to go up the Ladder of Chance!
{18237}{18295}- Wise! How many rungs?|- Six!
{18324}{18430}- That noise can only mean one thing.|- Hungry Monkey!
{18440}{18531}- I'd like a Wicked Wango Card.|- It's an audio question.
{18535}{18625}Name this television theme song:
{18662}{18732}Oh, my God. I know this.|Give me a second.
{18737}{18786}- Tell the Time Turtle!|- Shut up!
{18790}{18841}- "I Dream of Jeannie"!|- Yes!
{18845}{18900}I'd like to spin the Wheel.
{19029}{19082}Oh, come on!
{19086}{19127}Super Speedy Speed Round.
{19131}{19198}- Is there a Hopping Bonus?|- Of course.
{19281}{19335}- Who invented bifocals?|- Franklin!
{19339}{19407}Which monarch ruled|Great Britain the longest?
{19412}{19442}Queen Victoria!
{19447}{19548}You forgot to switch legs between|questions. No Hopping
Bonus!
{19552}{19605}Every time!
{19609}{19705}- Yeah. Now over to Chandler.|- I'd like a Google Card.
{19709}{19822}- Are you sure?|- Yes! No! Google!
{19859}{19950}Oh, my God! Congratulations, Ross!|Because, Chandler...
{19954}{20006}...you've been Bamboozled!|- No!
{20011}{20140}- Yes!|- This is the best game ever!
{20158}{20217}You'll stay as long as I need you?
{20221}{20285}- Of course.|- I swear I'm not an idiot.
{20289}{20361}I read books on pregnancy|and giving birth.
{20367}{20469}I didn't think to read about what|to do when the baby comes.
{20473}{20514}And the baby's coming...
{20518}{20640}...and I don't know what to do.|Oh, can I throw up in my
Diaper Genie?
{20644}{20718}Sweetie, you're gonna be fine.
{20727}{20800}- Where you going?|- I'm going to the bathroom.
{20805}{20920}Now, don't worry.|Everything's gonna be okay.
{20940}{20993}It is gonna be okay!
{21092}{21144}Worth a shot.
{21187}{21258}Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
{21264}{21323}I just Bamboozled Chandler!
{21397}{21453}Which is not a sexual thing.
{21501}{21600}- Well, that was a quick shower.|- Not if you were here.
{21611}{21648}We got good stuff.
{21652}{21728}We did. My mom got|us the greatest gift of all.
{21733}{21780}A Play-Doh Barbershop?
{21808}{21907}No. She's going to live|with us for eight weeks.
{21913}{21946}What?
{21951}{22042}Yes! She's gonna help us|take care of the baby!
{22064}{22115}You're not serious!
{22119}{22220}She's a very nice woman,|but we can't take eight weeks of
her.
{22224}{22277}- She'll drive us crazy...|- Hi, Ross!
{22281}{22334}Hey, roomie!
{22477}{22553}Hey, I'm Ray.|I'm the producer of the show.
{22558}{22633}It's a pleasure to meet you, Ray.
{22637}{22739}This is Duncan and Erin.|They're gonna help with the
audition.
{22744}{22840}- Right, Ray.|- Whenever you're ready.
{22845}{22954}Hello. I'm Joey Tribbiani.|Let's play Bamboozled!
{22959}{23070}Erin, first question. In hockey,|who is known as "The Great
One"?
{23075}{23104}- Gretzky.|- Correct!
{23109}{23202}Want to pick a Wicked Wango Card|or spin the Wheel?
{23207}{23284}Didn't your agents give|you the revised rules?
{23288}{23362}We've eliminated all that.|No wheel. No cards.
{23366}{23414}Why?
{23418}{23518}It was too complicated.|People didn't follow it.
{23522}{23618}Complicated?! Spin the Wheel|to go up the Ladder of
Chance...
{23622}{23702}...through the Rainbow Ring|to the Golden Monkey.
{23706}{23782}You yank his tail,|and you're in Paradise Pond!
{23797}{23851}Yeah. All that's gone.
{23855}{23929}It's a simple question-|and-answer game now.
{23934}{23987}Well, what's fun about that?
{23991}{24099}You expect me to host a boring game|of people answering
questions?
{24104}{24170}Women in bikinis hold up the scores.
{24175}{24245}Let's play Bamboozled!
{24249}{24332}Oh, and all those dinosaur|knickknacks you have...
{24337}{24390}They might be better in the garage.
{24397}{24526}- Well, we don't have a garage.|- Did I say garage? I meant
garbage.
{24554}{24674}You know what? Maybe it's not|absolutely vital that you live
with us.
{24678}{24811}- Well, Rachel needs help with the baby.|- I really do. I
don't know anything.
{24820}{24860}I'm sure that's untrue.
{24865}{24933}Oh, no?|Do I know anything about babies?
{24937}{25011}- No. Not a thing.|- It's frightening.
{25016}{25090}Even if she doesn't|know anything, I do.
{25095}{25180}I have a son. His mother|and I didn't live together.
{25184}{25293}When he was with me, I took|care of him all the time, by
myself.
{25297}{25373}- That's true. You do have another child.|- Yeah.
{25377}{25420}With another woman.
{25425}{25505}Have you no control, Ross?
{25553}{25613}That's a different issue.
{25625}{25742}The point is, when the baby comes,|I will be there to feed
her...
{25746}{25803}...and bathe her and change her.
{25807}{25887}I want to do all those things.
{25891}{26001}- You don't need me to live with you.|- Yes!
{26019}{26101}Yes. You're gonna be so missed.
{26112}{26209}- You'll be a great father.|- You'll be a wonderful grandma.
{26218}{26314}Hello? I still don't know|what the hell I'm doing!
{26319}{26398}Every first-time mother|feels that way.
{26402}{26546}You're gonna pick it up. Hey, you will.|Look, when you first
came to the city...
{26550}{26678}...you were a spoiled, helpless little|girl who used Daddy's
credit cards!
{26688}{26755}I hope you're going|somewhere with this.
{26759}{26827}Look at you.|You're this big executive.
{26832}{26897}You are very capable.
{26902}{27001}I have no doubt you're gonna|be an incredible mother.
{27007}{27082}- Really?|- I'm telling you.
{27104}{27149}Thank you.
{27206}{27264}All right. I'm gonna get going.
{27277}{27325}No, sweetheart, stay put.
{27330}{27452}I'll let myself out. It's like I'm|not here. Which I almost
wasn't.
{27477}{27603}You're just so funny. You're so funny.|What do I do?
{27611}{27704}Nothing. You have apologized|to her like a million times.
{27708}{27783}And she's been nothing|but terrible to you.
{27788}{27914}You just threw her daughter a lovely,|albeit slightly
boring, shower.
{27918}{28040}- And she hasn't even thanked you for it.|- You know what?
You're right.
{28046}{28121}If you wanna say anything,|I'd tell her off.
{28125}{28160}Really?
{28195}{28250}Okay, I will.
{28255}{28311}Mrs. Green?
{28317}{28352}Mrs. Green?
{28356}{28426}It is rude not to say|goodbye to the host.
{28431}{28547}When someone apologizes to you,|the decent thing to do is to
accept it.
{28551}{28605}What I did wasn't on purpose.
{28609}{28697}But what you're doing to me now|is plain spiteful.
{28702}{28734}- Spiteful?|- Right.
{28739}{28833}It's time you took a good|look in the mirror, young lady!
{28837}{28879}Old lady!
{28883}{28927}Lady!
{28931}{29000}Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.
{29021}{29180}So whenever you're ready to apologize|to me, I will forgive
you. Good day.
{29243}{29295}I can't feel my legs!
{29313}{29383}You were fantastic!|I'm so proud of you.
{29398}{29484}- Yeah? I'm proud of me too.|- You should be.
{29490}{29596}- Could you get me something to drink?|- You got it!
{29600}{29717}Mrs. Green? Okay, I'm really sorry!|I apologize. If you...
{29751}{29829}Okay! I bit my tongue!
{29833}{29913}But I'm still really sorry!
{30056}{30106}- Okay, I'm ready.|- You sure?
{30111}{30181}I've done my studying,|and I know my stuff.
{30187}{30238}All right, then.
{30272}{30341}Rachel Green,|let's play Bamboozled!
{30356}{30422}How do you test|bathwater temperature?
{30427}{30477}- Put your elbow in it.|- Good!
{30482}{30586}- How do you let a baby nap?|- Full, dry, on its back, no
loose covers.
{30590}{30616}Correct!
{30621}{30756}This is an audio question. What do|you do when a baby makes
this sound:
{30837}{30899}Check if it's wet or hungry, burp it.
{30904}{31023}Excellent! Now do you want another|question or a Wicked
Wango Card?
{31028}{31110}- A card! A card! I pick a card!|- Oh, I'm sorry.
{31114}{31239}You've been Bamboozled!|You're gonna be a terrible mother!
{31286}{31384}I've lost sight of why|we're doing this!
{31480}{31505}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 21
Season 8 Episode 22
{125}{170}What are you looking at?
{174}{272}A poster for that WWI movie I'm in.|Check it out.
{277}{340}Wow! It looks really violent!
{344}{419}I know. I'm coming soon|to a theater near you.
{423}{503}I'm in THX.|I'm unsuitable for children!
{511}{604}- I cannot wait to see this.|- It's generating Oscar buzz.
{609}{689}- I started that!|- I thought I did!
{694}{744}I just talked to my agent...
{750}{844}...and the premiere is next week|and you're all invited!
{849}{897}- Will we take a limo?|- Sure!
{906}{996}I love taking limos|when nobody died.
{1001}{1053}Well, I won't be able to come.
{1058}{1188}For those who haven't checked|their calendars, today's my due
date.
{1192}{1295}I want to thank you guys|for how great you've been during
this.
{1299}{1402}I couldn't have done it without you.|I loved these last 9
months.
{1406}{1461}I'm looking forward|to the next part...
{1471}{1573}...but I am really gonna miss|being pregnant.
{1662}{1744}That's right. Still no baby.
{1748}{1803}Come on, people, make some room.
{1807}{1899}Sweetie, maybe you'd be|more comfortable here.
{1931}{1970}You.
{2035}{2105}Like you haven't done enough.
{2133}{2236}I know you're miserable.|I wish there was something I could
do.
{2240}{2322}I wish I were a sea horse.
{2380}{2515}Because with sea horses, it's the male.|They carry the babies.
{2546}{2667}And then also,|I'd be far away in the sea.
{2938}{2976}God.
{2991}{3118}I have never been so uncomfortable|in my entire life.
{3123}{3180}I know. I remember toward the end...
{3185}{3306}That's a great story. Tell it while|you're getting me some
iced tea.
{3373}{3473}Oh, God, get out!|Get out, get out, get out!
{3521}{3573}Let's.
{3612}{3663}The One Where Rachel is Late
{4594}{4665}Hey, did you have the baby yet?
{4719}{4804}Do you want me to sit on you?|Because I'll do it.
{4819}{4906}- What are you doing here?|- They sent me home from work.
{4911}{4995}They said, "Start your maternity|leave now. Just rest."
{4999}{5047}You know what? Screw them!
{5051}{5144}If they don't want me there,|I'll hang out with you guys.
{5168}{5249}Or you could do volunteer work.
{5285}{5350}- Hello?|- Joey, it's Estelle.
{5356}{5477}I was able to get you and one guest|tickets to your premiere.
{5482}{5597}- You told me I could have six tickets.|- I sold four on eBay.
{5649}{5716}You'll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
{5756}{5834}So that's it? I only get|to bring one guest?
{5839}{5939}Yeah. What time do you|want to pick me up?
{5949}{5989}Hello?
{6009}{6091}You hear that?|I only get one extra ticket.
{6096}{6199}So somehow I have to pick|between you three and Ross.
{6239}{6325}- What about me?|- You said you didn't want to go.
{6331}{6400}I would still like|to be acknowledged.
{6406}{6524}- Because I'm pregnant, I'm invisible?|- Definitely not
invisible.
{6576}{6665}Ross didn't care enough|to be here, so he's out.
{6671}{6762}- You snooze, you lose.|- He's not snoozing. He's teaching.
{6767}{6822}Well, then somebody's snoozing.
{6826}{6954}And, Joey, not that this should affect|you at all, but if you
pick me...
{6959}{7096}...I was planning on wearing|a sequin dress cut down to here.
{7121}{7219}- I haven't seen this dress.|- Star in a movie.
{7230}{7347}Pick whoever you want. Listen|to your heart. What does it tell
you?
{7351}{7424}Phoebe. Phoebe. Phoebe.
{7460}{7502}Well...
{7565}{7624}I think I want to take Chandler.
{7629}{7714}Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe.
{7758}{7854}- You want to take me?|- Yeah, I wish I could take everybody.
{7859}{7931}But Chandler's always|supported my career.
{7935}{8019}He's paid for acting classes,|headshots and stuff.
{8024}{8090}This will be my way|of paying you back.
{8094}{8194}So you're never actually|going to pay me back?
{8229}{8332}Just because he paid for your|headshots, you're gonna take
him?
{8336}{8459}I don't think you're comprehending|just how slutty this dress
is.
{8479}{8590}It's not just the stuff he paid for.|It's everything, you
know?
{8596}{8693}He read lines with me.|He went with me on auditions.
{8700}{8777}Then he consoled me|after I didn't get parts.
{8782}{8868}You always believed in me, man,|even when I didn't.
{8873}{8973}I always knew you were gonna make it.|I'm so proud of you.
{8977}{9069}Thanks, that means a lot to me.
{9131}{9229}Mon, maybe one of these guys|wants to wear your dress.
{9239}{9363}- I'm gonna go shave.|- Yeah, well, I'm gonna go spit.
{9481}{9519}I have to pee.
{9523}{9651}If I don't come out, it's because I've|choked to death on the
potpourri stink.
{9689}{9839}You hold her nose, I'll blow in her|mouth and the kid'll
just... out of her.
{9878}{9955}She's a week late.|She's got to have it today.
{9959}{10065}I don't know. I think|it's still gonna be a while.
{10071}{10130}Care to make it interesting?
{10135}{10217}- I bet you she'll have it tomorrow.|- You're on.
{10222}{10308}- Okay, how much?|- One hundred thousand dollars.
{10340}{10461}- How about 50 bucks?|- I'll call Zurich and move some
money.
{10465}{10550}All right, whose turn is it|to help me get up?
{10581}{10624}No one's here.
{10685}{10740}Oh, damn it!
{11053}{11177}This is exciting. So glamorous! People|taking our picture.
How do I look?
{11188}{11253}- A little tall.|- What?
{11258}{11359}Would you crouch down a bit|so that I look taller?
{11388}{11444}There you go.
{11483}{11549}It's just so glamorous.
{11629}{11699}Oh, hey, Mon? Rach is here.
{11704}{11774}And you're still pregnant.
{11779}{11852}I'm sorry. I know|how uncomfortable you are.
{11857}{11977}You know what? You look great.|Yeah, like 50 bucks.
{12016}{12157}I have to go pee. Apparently this baby|thinks my bladder is
a squeeze toy.
{12201}{12287}Damn it. Here's your 50 bucks.
{12296}{12417}That's interesting that you lost.|Now, I forget, do you like
to lose?
{12421}{12474}All right, stop it.
{12480}{12556}- Double or nothing she has it tomorrow.|- Fine.
{12561}{12699}Until then, General Grant, why don't|you set up camp...
right there?
{12726}{12814}- Rachel here? We have an appointment.|- In the bathroom.
{12819}{12897}- Rach, we gotta go.|- In a minute!
{12948}{13077}People ask why we're not together.|I just don't know what to
tell them.
{13082}{13176}- All right, let's go.|- Do you want to go change first?
{13182}{13276}The doctor's staying open late for us,|but if you hurry...
{13308}{13394}- No, I'm fine.|- You don't think that's inappropriate?
{13408}{13518}- What?|- Good God, man. Don't anger it.
{13574}{13715}Ross, it is 100 degrees outside.|For the first time in
weeks, I am...
{13719}{13807}Fine. Whatever you want.|You're the mommy.
{13811}{13859}No! Don't call me "Mommy."
{13865}{13956}It's bad enough you call|your own mother that.
{13972}{14046}I'm actually with her on this one.
{14205}{14269}{y:i}I thought I knew who the enemy was...
{14274}{14382}Okay, this is it. This is|my big fight scene coming up.
{14393}{14484}{y:i}I'm fighting for every man|{y:i}in the 82nd Ground
Division.
{14687}{14773}Ross?|Can I ask you something?
{14778}{14874}When Carol was pregnant with Ben...
{14886}{14951}...were you this irritating?
{15036}{15089}- Excuse me?|- Nothing. You're just...
{15093}{15219}You've been a little short with me|lately. I'm not trying to
irritate you.
{15223}{15319}Well, then, you must have|a natural talent for it.
{15325}{15468}The doctor will be in soon.|Why don't we not speak until
then?
{15575}{15655}Seriously. Breathe louder, Ross.|That's great.
{15734}{15809}We should ask the doctor|if she even knows...
{15813}{15944}...how to deliver a baby|that's half human, half pure evil!
{16003}{16077}- Hi, Dr. Long. How are you?|- You're nice to her.
{16082}{16153}She has the drugs.
{16176}{16232}We'll do a quick check.
{16237}{16328}Eight days late, huh?|You must be getting uncomfortable.
{16332}{16394}Yeah, just a tad.
{16416}{16536}You're 80%"%" effaced. You're on your way.|It still could
last a while.
{16541}{16664}- There are ways to help things along.|- Do them!
{16686}{16778}Actually, they're things|you can do. Home remedies.
{16783}{16874}In my experience, I've found|some are very effective.
{16879}{17014}- Well, we are ready to try anything.|- There's an herbal
tea you can drink.
{17019}{17107}You can take some castor oil.|There's spicy foods.
{17112}{17155}We will do all of those.
{17161}{17217}- Taking a long walk.|- Good. Done.
{17222}{17344}And there's the one that's|proved most effective: Sex.
{17454}{17538}You've got to be kidding me!
{17872}{17947}Good job, Joe! Well done! Top-notch!
{17963}{18041}- You liked it? You really liked it?|- Oh, yeah!
{18046}{18154}- Well, which part exactly?|- The whole thing! Here we go!
{18159}{18216}No, no, no. Give me some specifics.
{18221}{18318}I loved the specifics.|The specifics were the best part.
{18323}{18463}Hey, what about the scene with|the kangaroo? Did you like
that part?
{18469}{18604}I was surprised to see a kangaroo|in a World War I epic.
{18629}{18683}You fell asleep!
{18688}{18812}There was no kangaroo! They didn't|take any of my
suggestions!
{18865}{18984}- Thanks for coming. See you later.|- Don't go. I'm so
sorry.
{18988}{19089}Look, this guy fell asleep!|He fell asleep too! Be mad at
him!
{19118}{19198}Or call an ambulance!
{19280}{19374}What did the doctor say?|Any news on when the baby will
come?
{19378}{19461}No. She gave us ideas|on how to induce labor.
{19465}{19499}We tried them all.
{19503}{19642}We went for a walk, we tried tea,|castor oil, spicy food.
Nothing worked.
{19648}{19704}There is one thing we didn't try.
{19708}{19807}But someone thinks that|that will open up a can of worms.
{19812}{19905}If it's gonna help|bring the baby here, today...
{19909}{19971}...I think you should do it.
{20004}{20088}- It's sex.|- Do it!
{20096}{20184}- Monica.|- It's been a really long time for you.
{20189}{20318}I mean, women have needs.|Do it. Get yours.
{20336}{20393}Oh, I don't know about that.
{20425}{20577}I think if the two of you had sex, the|repercussions would
be catastrophic.
{20600}{20654}All right, let's be practical.
{20659}{20805}If Ross isn't willing, he's not|the only guy you can have
sex with.
{20810}{20890}You could borrow Chandler.|Chandler is good.
{20918}{20988}Monica, what is the matter with you?
{20994}{21078}- I just want the baby to be born today.|- Why today?
{21103}{21148}Okay, fine.
{21159}{21274}I bet Phoebe that you're gonna have|the baby, and I don't
want to lose.
{21285}{21414}What? While she's been going through|this hell, you've been
making money?
{21419}{21528}You're betting on your friend|staying in this misery?
{21582}{21667}- I'll take that bet.|- What?
{21671}{21769}I'm miserable. I may as well|make some money out of it.
{21773}{21829}Can I get some of that action?
{21835}{21891}I'm betting against all of you?
{21896}{21967}I really feel like|tomorrow it's gonna happen.
{21972}{22014}Okay.
{22165}{22242}Hey, Sleeping Beauty.
{22246}{22347}Where have you been?|I want to talk to you. I still feel
bad.
{22352}{22438}Oh, no. Were you upset?|Did you lose sleep?
{22457}{22490}I'm so sorry.
{22495}{22587}The reason I came over is|to settle things between us.
{22591}{22691}I wanted to pay you back|with the premiere, but you missed
it.
{22697}{22751}- So how much do I owe you?|- What?
{22757}{22843}- I don't want to owe you anything.|- You don't owe me.
{22849}{22910}- I don't want your...|- We're doing this!
{22915}{22983}You got me my first headshots.|How much?
{22992}{23095}- I don't know, $500.|- Okay, $500. What else?
{23100}{23215}Then there was the second set.|The infamous "booger"
headshots.
{23241}{23343}Okay, so that's another $500.|That's 500 and 500. That's...
{23447}{23520}- You want a calculator?|- Please.
{23550}{23591}Here.
{23699}{23733}All right, what else?
{23738}{23856}Well, there's acting classes,|stage-combat classes, tap
classes...
{23861}{23931}Which we're still keeping|under our hats.
{23936}{24043}That dialect coach who helped you|with a Southern accent.
{24047}{24155}Which, after 20 hours of lessons,|still came out Jamaican.
{24176}{24310}What the hell are you talking about?|The South will rise
again, man.
{24374}{24439}Yes, money well-spent.
{24444}{24496}Okay, what else? Rent.
{24501}{24613}Two, three years of rent,|utilities, food...
{24619}{24727}Okay, so I'm writing you|a check for...
{24751}{24896}So you fell asleep during my movie.|Big deal, right?
{24902}{24975}How do you clear this thing?
{25077}{25126}Finish your enchilada.
{25130}{25226}Ross, we've tried all the spicy food.|It's not working.
{25230}{25310}Okay, here, have one of these peppers.
{25378}{25488}Oh, God. So hot. Oh, my God.
{25502}{25630}By the way, you don't want to touch|the pepper and then
touch your eye.
{25671}{25757}I am feeling nothing.
{25829}{25904}Speaking of hot,|watching you do that...
{25908}{25997}...really makes me want|to have sex with you.
{26007}{26092}- Stop it.|- Come on! Why are we wasting time?
{26096}{26205}We know it's gonna work.|It's doctor-recommended.
{26209}{26350}I'm sorry. But we have to have|some boundaries. My God, I'm
dying.
{26354}{26426}We've done it before.|We'll do it again.
{26430}{26506}It'll be a nice way|to bookend the pregnancy.
{26512}{26596}I'm not gonna make love to you|so you'll go into labor.
{26601}{26685}Make love? What are you, a girl?
{26727}{26806}Always a great way to get|into a man's pants.
{26811}{26921}You'll be performing a service.|Think of me as a ketchup
bottle.
{26925}{27038}Sometimes, you have to bang on|the end of it to get it to
come out.
{27086}{27170}I love when you talk dirty to me.
{27197}{27267}I know it. You're right.|That's not sexy.
{27350}{27434}Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork.
{27439}{27498}Let me just bend over and get it.
{27677}{27714}Oh, God!
{27786}{27870}Okay, enough.|This is not going to happen.
{27876}{27938}Come on, Ross. I'm miserable here.
{27943}{28035}Come on, you started this,|now you finish it!
{28049}{28119}Come on, wuss. Make love to me.
{28159}{28235}- You know what?|- What?
{28242}{28290}Forget it.
{28312}{28391}What now, Ross,|you're not gonna talk?
{28395}{28485}How on earth will you ever annoy me?
{28491}{28565}Oh, wait a minute, I know.
{28642}{28743}You'd think the jalapeno would|clear up your sinuses, but
no!
{28749}{28811}That's not enough...|What are you doing?
{28815}{28896}I'm getting that baby out of you!
{29047}{29091}- Oh, God!|- I know.
{29097}{29148}Oh, no, no, no.
{29166}{29235}I think my water just broke.
{29249}{29315}I am good!
{29347}{29446}Okay, I got the pillow.|I got the bag.
{29450}{29527}- You got the keys?|- I got the keys.
{29640}{29682}We're having a baby.
{30003}{30122}I didn't have time to read this part|of the books, but do we
have time...?
{30127}{30196}- Not so much.|- Okay, let's go.
{30307}{30337}- 200.|- Thank you.
{30341}{30470}That's it. I don't care when|the baby comes. No more
betting.
{30514}{30555}Hello?
{30734}{30816}I guess we could bet|one more time.
{30820}{30928}- Is Rachel having the baby?|- How did you know that?
{30934}{31011}- Joey! Chandler!|- They're at the coffee house.
{31016}{31075}You know everything!
{31081}{31162}Wait. I bet you the baby|is over 7 pounds.
{31191}{31281}I bet you it has hair!|I bet you it's a girl.
{31285}{31375}- We know it's a girl.|- I'll give you really good odds.
{31494}{31519}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 23
{75}{105}All right!
{111}{199}Yes! From home to the hospital|in seven minutes!
{203}{283}Yes. The hard part is truly over.
{295}{366}We're off to a great start, aren't we?
{370}{459}I knew I'd get here fast,|but this has to be a record!
{466}{540}- Oh, you made it!|- Hi.
{551}{664}- How the hell did you beat us here?|- We took a cab. Did you
walk?
{668}{758}No, we took a cab too.|But I did test runs...
{770}{801}Hey, you made it!
{826}{923}Okay, is there some kind of magic|tunnel to this hospital?
{933}{1027}Ross, you stay here and talk.|I'm gonna go have a baby.
{1031}{1152}Okay. Hi, this is Rachel Greene. I'm|Ross Geller. We called
from the car.
{1156}{1230}We have a semi-private|labor room waiting...
{1234}{1365}Oh, whoa! I'm sorry. Semi-private?|We asked for a private
room.
{1370}{1472}Yes, I see that here.|We can't guarantee a private room.
{1476}{1611}- Currently, they're all unavailable.|- Man, if only you'd
gotten here sooner.
{1616}{1703}I'm sorry. Semi-private rooms|are all we have.
{1707}{1796}Okay. Just give us a second. Ross?
{1860}{1963}- Give her some money.|- I really think they're out of rooms.
{1967}{2083}They're saving them for important|people! What if I was the
president?
{2088}{2207}We'd be in a lot of trouble.|You don't know where any
countries are.
{2221}{2258}Okay.
{2273}{2360}Say, would you mind checking again?
{2365}{2469}See if any private rooms|may have opened up?
{2494}{2542}This is a hospital.
{2547}{2629}You know what?|I don't really care for your tone.
{2633}{2775}This is not the only hospital in the|city. We have no
problem... Oh, gosh!
{2779}{2823}- What, what?|- Contraction!
{2827}{2862}Oh!
{2915}{3042}- Like to see a semi-private room?|- Yeah, it couldn't hurt to
look.
{3046}{3098}The One Where Rachel Has A Baby - Part I
{3940}{4028}You're 2 centimeters dilated.|We need to get to 10.
{4035}{4085}- It will be a while.|- Oh, okay.
{4089}{4188}- I'll be back in an hour to check on you.|- Thank you.
{4206}{4308}- I guess we have some time to kill.|- Yeah, guess so.
{4312}{4381}Oh, check these out.
{4565}{4631}Never done this before.
{4638}{4727}Yeah, well, it looks great.
{4731}{4830}Thank you very much.|I think we're ready to...
{4986}{5104}Hi, I'm Ross. I'm here to ruin|this magical day for you.
{5109}{5189}Not at all. Marc Horger.|This is my wife, Julie.
{5193}{5269}- Hi, Julie. This is Rachel.|- Oh, hi, Rachel.
{5273}{5326}- Is this your first?|- It is.
{5330}{5396}Well, little Jamie here is our third.
{5401}{5483}So if you have any questions,|just holler.
{5488}{5559}- That's so sweet.|- Yeah.
{5598}{5723}- Let me give you guys some privacy.|- Nonsense. We're all in
this together.
{5728}{5809}We are gonna share every|moment of this with you.
{5813}{5905}- I think we're gonna have some fun.|- Yeah.
{5913}{5965}- Oh, okay, I guess.|- Hey, smile!
{5969}{6018}- No.|- I really don't want any...
{6023}{6050}Oh, thank you.
{6081}{6158}Oh, Ross!|Here comes another contraction.
{6162}{6214}Okay, just breathe...
{6219}{6304}- Oh, honey, I think I'm having one too!|- Oh, my God!
{6387}{6500}- Hey, look at this. Here you go!|- Oh, no!
{6636}{6701}Oh, wow. Three hours and still no baby.
{6706}{6815}The miracle of birth|sure is a snooze-fest.
{6861}{6955}- Hey, you wanna see something?|- Sure. What?
{6960}{7036}This will be fun.|Watch me freak out Chandler.
{7040}{7091}- Honey?|- Yeah?
{7095}{7170}Listen, I've been doing|some thinking...
{7175}{7272}...and I don't know whether|it's because we're here...
{7276}{7342}...or Rachel's giving birth...
{7346}{7441}...but I think we should|try to have a baby.
{7528}{7574}Okay.
{7620}{7661}What's that now?
{7669}{7767}Okay. I've been thinking about it too.|I think we're ready.
{7823}{7911}Are you kidding? You think|we're ready to have a baby?
{7916}{7950}Oh, this is fun.
{8000}{8094}You're ready to have a baby?|My boy's all grown up!
{8098}{8138}You said you were ready.
{8142}{8244}I was screwing with you to get|your voice high and weird...
{8248}{8281}...like mine is now!
{8292}{8362}Yes, but haven't you|wanted a kid forever?
{8367}{8430}Okay, just back off, mister!
{8481}{8552}Because I am ready to have a baby.
{8556}{8618}I just want Joey to be the father.
{8637}{8751}- What? Are you crazy?|- Right there! That's all I wanted!
{8782}{8891}I'm sorry. The doctor insisted|on closing the curtain for the
exam.
{8895}{8974}Oh, that's very...|Really, very, very okay.
{8979}{9115}Julie's cervix is dilated seven|centimeters. That's about four
fingers!
{9133}{9213}- Doctor let me feel it.|- Have you felt Rachel's?
{9218}{9296}- No, I don't...|- We won't be doing that.
{9300}{9407}Well, you could feel Rachel's,|then feel mine to compare.
{9412}{9526}- Am I interrupting?|- Yes! Thank you! Later.
{9531}{9594}- You can't leave me with them.|- Sorry.
{9598}{9718}No, Ross, Ross? Ross?|My child has no father!
{9722}{9857}I'm so glad you're here, but it's gonna|be a while. I wish
you'd called first.
{9862}{9924}I'm coming back later with your father.
{9928}{10028}- I need to talk to you before the birth.|- Okay. What's up?
{10032}{10103}I brought something|that I want to give you.
{10107}{10186}Assuming, of course, that you want it.
{10202}{10278}Ma, you're asking me to marry you?
{10305}{10410}Your grandma's engagement ring,|I want you to give it to
Rachel.
{10415}{10499}- Mom, no. Come on. Thank you...|- Just hear me out...
{10503}{10613}No! Okay? We're not getting|married because she's pregnant.
{10617}{10777}Honestly, this isn't just some girl|you picked up in a bar
and humped.
{10838}{10885}A child should have a family.
{10890}{10954}I can't deal with this now. I'm sorry.
{10958}{11054}Think about it. If you don't,|I'll talk more about humping.
{11059}{11103}Give me that.
{11116}{11199}- Hi, dear.|- Hi. Thank you so much for coming.
{11204}{11273}Ross, get in here!
{11363}{11487}She dragged me out of the labor room|to ask me why I'm not
with Rachel.
{11518}{11616}- Why aren't you with Rachel?|- Are you kidding?
{11620}{11715}We're not gonna be together|because we're having a baby!
{11720}{11774}It seems you belong together.
{11778}{11874}I can't deal with this right now.|I have to go have a baby.
{11879}{11941}Right. And with who again?
{11967}{12050}He's crazy. Why doesn't|he wanna be with Rachel?
{12055}{12080}I know.
{12084}{12190}She's like the perfect woman.|I know she turned me down...
{12194}{12322}...but if she wanted to be with me,|I would take her in my
arms and...
{12407}{12495}I haven't bummed you guys out|like this in a while.
{12587}{12619}- Hey.|- Hey.
{12623}{12686}- Who's that?|- New people.
{12730}{12797}What happened to the Disgustingtons?
{12801}{12930}They're having their baby.|It's not fair, Ross. I got here
first!
{12934}{12998}After you left, they wheeled her off.
{13002}{13150}Not before she gave me a nice, juicy|shot of little Jamie,
crowning away.
{13155}{13193}Wow. Sorry.
{13197}{13261}So how are the new people?
{13266}{13355}Well, they have some unusual|pet names for each other.
{13359}{13511}Including "Evil Bitch"|and "Sick Bastard."
{13520}{13632}- Oh, gosh, a contraction.|- Yeah? Okay, okay. Just breathe.
{13637}{13685}- Are you looking at her?|- No!
{13690}{13815}- Don't look at her, you sick bastard!|- I swear I wasn't
looking at her!
{13820}{13946}She's in labor. You like that,|you sick son of a bitch?
{14013}{14042}I'm just gonna...
{14046}{14138}See? It's because you were looking,|you fat pervert.
{14142}{14276}No, no. I'm sure no one was looking.|Just want some privacy.
{14334}{14392}You miss your girlfriend?
{14410}{14478}Just ignore them.
{14483}{14542}- You okay?|- Yeah.
{14653}{14681}- Ross!|- What?
{14685}{14772}- He's looking at me.|- Hey!
{14777}{14823}Wanna live to see your baby?
{14828}{14931}Don't you talk to my husband like that,|you stupid bastard!
{15025}{15131}Oh, good God! If you want|a baby so bad, just go steal it!
{15184}{15263}Since when are you|so crazy about babies?
{15268}{15372}I'm not crazy about babies.|I'm crazy about us.
{15414}{15439}What?
{15459}{15535}We talk about having|babies someday, not now...
{15539}{15664}...but I'm starting to think that we|can handle it. We're
good.
{15668}{15733}We're really good.
{15753}{15792}We are pretty good.
{15797}{15872}But nothing has to happen|until you're ready.
{15915}{15962}Well, maybe I'm ready now.
{15967}{16063}I mean, it's a little scary,|but maybe it's right.
{16068}{16140}It's not right!|We're not ready for a kid!
{16149}{16246}- What?|- I'm kidding. This is gonna be fun.
{16289}{16381}So we're gonna try?|I mean, we're trying?
{16386}{16451}We're trying to get pregnant.
{16550}{16638}I'm not comfortable doing|this in front of the babies.
{16643}{16772}- So when do you want to start trying?|- All right, hold on
a sec.
{16780}{16845}- Period math?|- Yeah.
{16885}{16963}Well, we could start trying now.
{16973}{17079}- Right here?|- No, not here.
{17083}{17140}Maybe here.
{17144}{17245}We got time to kill. We're in|a building that's full of
beds!
{17250}{17303}And it's so clean!
{17451}{17524}Come on, you stupid machine! Come on!
{17528}{17621}- It ate your money?|- No.
{17698}{17791}- I'll see you downstairs then.|- All right.
{17805}{17874}Hey, I got one! I got one!
{17943}{17968}- Hi.|- Hi.
{17972}{18059}- Oh, up or down?|- Oh. Down, please.
{18131}{18215}I hate to be a ball-buster,|but can I just do it?
{18279}{18341}- Could you press up too?|- Sure.
{18378}{18481}- I feel bad. I broke my leg once too.|- How did yours
happen?
{18486}{18544}It's a long, embarrassing story.
{18548}{18673}Let's just say, there was a|typographical error with a sex
manual.
{18678}{18738}- How about you?|- Car accident.
{18743}{18858}- Idiot on a cell not paying attention?|- Yeah. Me.
{18907}{18980}Oh, hey, that's me.
{18997}{19073}Hey, I take it you're|just visiting someone.
{19077}{19183}Well, if you have some time,|and you wanna visit someone
else...
{19189}{19230}Yeah. I would like that.
{19234}{19373}- Great. I'm in room...|- Wait! What? No! Elevator! No!
{19378}{19466}You gotta press the button.
{19537}{19604}They're bringing in another woman.
{19608}{19661}Oh. Is she pregnant yet?
{19666}{19776}She doesn't need to be.|She'll still have the baby before I
do.
{19780}{19891}- Oh, Ross! Another contraction.|- Oh, okay. Here, here.
{19922}{19961}That's it.
{19965}{20073}- Oh, that sounded like a bad one.|- Yeah, it was.
{20078}{20192}Mine haven't been so bad.|Oh, here comes one now.
{20307}{20366}Oh, that was a big one.
{20503}{20609}Could you help me? The patient|I'm looking for has a broken
leg.
{20613}{20718}He's in a wheelchair. He's early|to mid-30s, very
attractive.
{20723}{20833}- I know who you're talking about.|- Great! What room is he
in?
{20838}{20905}Sorry. That information is restricted.
{20909}{21045}- She's with me. Dr. Drake Ramoray.|- Dr. Drake who?
{21050}{21185}Ramoray. It's Portuguese.|We need that information. I'm a
doctor.
{21191}{21288}- At this hospital?|- Damn it! We're losing precious time.
{21292}{21393}You want this man's blood|on your head... Hands!
{21397}{21515}It is essential that you tell me|what room he is staying in.
{21519}{21572}He's a patient of mine.
{21577}{21638}- He's in room 816.|- 816. Thank you.
{21642}{21709}- And what is his name?|- No.
{21950}{22032}- I think we found a place.|- Okay.
{22098}{22177}- Wait. Wanna set the mood a little?|- Okay.
{22181}{22242}- We'll dim the lights.|- Okay.
{22246}{22318}Or turn them out altogether.
{22340}{22443}No scented candles.|Okay, here. There we go.
{22447}{22537}Okay, okay.|Making me sterile, but okay.
{22639}{22753}Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, wait.|Do we have a condom?
{22766}{22811}Oh, right!
{22999}{23098}Yes, 98.6. You're gonna be fine.
{23158}{23189}This is it!
{23216}{23279}- That's him!|- Great. Go get him!
{23297}{23391}Wait a second.|Or maybe you could go in first.
{23395}{23456}He's not really my type.
{23460}{23563}Not you. Dr. Ramoray. Ask him|questions and see what he's
like.
{23567}{23654}- People tell doctors everything.|- You said he's great.
{23659}{23765}Guys I meet seem nice at first,|then turn out to be big
jerks.
{23770}{23848}- You do attract some stinkers.|- I know.
{23871}{23956}Dr. Long, I've been at this|for 17 hours.
{23960}{24022}Three women have had their babies.
{24027}{24140}Give me good news. How many|centimeters am I dilated? Eight?
Nine?
{24144}{24196}- Three.|- Just 3?
{24201}{24258}I'm dilated 3!
{24307}{24413}We are moving along slowly.|Don't worry, you're doing great.
{24417}{24499}- I'll be back soon.|- Thank you.
{24540}{24618}I'm not waiting.|I'm gonna push this baby out.
{24622}{24740}I'm doing it. Three centimeters.|That's gotta be like this,
right?
{24753}{24890}- Actually, it's more like this.|- Oh, stupid metric system.
{24916}{24970}Oh! Oh! Oh!
{24978}{25051}We'll take you straight|to the delivery room.
{25055}{25145}Oh, for the love of God!
{25172}{25310}I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray. I have a few|routine questions I need
to ask you.
{25314}{25369}I've been dealing with Dr. Wells.
{25374}{25448}I know. I'm a neurologist.|To be safe...
{25452}{25574}...Dr. Wells wanted a more|comprehensive overview. So he
sent me.
{25583}{25642}Dr. Wells is a woman!
{25672}{25743}That was a test. Good response.
{25781}{25859}- All right. Full name?|- Clifford Burnett.
{25864}{25943}- Date of birth?|- November 16, 1968.
{25948}{25978}Age?
{26015}{26146}- Can't you figure that out?|- I'm a doctor, not a
mathematician.
{26170}{26239}- I'm 33.|- Okay.
{26262}{26319}- And are you married?|- No.
{26324}{26484}Oh, really? So 33 and single? Would|you say you have
commitment issues?
{26515}{26588}Are all the questions this personal?
{26592}{26629}Yes.
{26658}{26735}Well, if you must know, I'm a widower.
{26740}{26837}- Oh, that's terrible. I'm really sorry.|- Yeah.
{26848}{26943}Do you sleep with women|and never call them again?
{26976}{27021}- No.|- Excellent. Excellent.
{27025}{27161}And finally, are you into any weird|stuff, you know,
sexually?
{27182}{27271}- No!|- Wrong answer.
{27322}{27393}- What else? What else?|- He's 33.
{27397}{27438}- A widower.|- Oh!
{27443}{27575}He seemed like a standup guy. And|he's not into anything
weird sexually.
{27603}{27663}Enter Pheebs!
{27724}{27808}- This room's available.|- Okay! Wait, listen to me!
{27812}{27871}Since I've been waiting,|four women...
{27876}{27963}...one higher than the centimeters|I'm dilated...
{27967}{28095}...have come and gone with their babies.|I'm next. My turn.
It's only fair.
{28099}{28226}If you bring in one more woman who has|her baby before me, I
will sue you.
{28231}{28334}Not this hospital. I'm gonna sue you.|My husband is a
lawyer.
{28338}{28430}- Rach?|- You get back on that case, honey!
{28435}{28508}I don't think the next|patient is far along.
{28513}{28599}Okay. Well, then bring her in.
{28795}{28925}Oh, my God!
{29252}{29348}I can't believe this!
{29385}{29494}And yet, somehow, it's true.
{29512}{29618}I mean, this is so great.|We're gonna be baby buddies!
{29673}{29755}Squeeze your legs together,|cover the baby's ears.
{29764}{29842}- Hi, sweetie!|- Hi, sweetheart.
{29846}{29938}This is my husband, Sid.|I don't think you've met him.
{29944}{30079}I nabbed him at the dermatologist's.|Thank God for adult
acne!
{30083}{30178}I can't believe it.|I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
{30182}{30226}Really?
{30250}{30276}What did he say?
{30281}{30373}You have to speak loudly,|he's almost completely deaf.
{30378}{30460}- Oh, there you go.|- Of course he is.
{30464}{30560}Congratulations!|I didn't even know you got married.
{30566}{30642}- Oh, no. We didn't.|- What?
{30647}{30778}We're just having this baby together,|but that's all. You
know?
{30782}{30825}Why?
{30872}{31029}We're just not in that place, you know?|But we're very
excited about this.
{31034}{31102}Oh. Well, then shut me up.
{31128}{31183}Just tell me how.
{31199}{31273}Oh, I feel another one coming.
{31476}{31501}[ENGLISH]
{31630}{31665}"Previously on" Friends:
{31669}{31720}I've been at this for 17 hours.
{31726}{31777}- How many centimeters am I dilated?|- Three.
{31783}{31865}Just three? I'm dilated three!
{31891}{31971}- We talk about having babies someday.|- We're gonna try?
{32060}{32113}Maybe here.
{32118}{32206}Your grandma's engagement ring,|I want you to give it to
Rachel.
{32210}{32263}- Mom, no.|- This isn't some girl...
{32268}{32369}...you picked up in a bar|and humped.
{32396}{32455}I take it you're just visiting someone?
{32460}{32513}- Wanna visit someone else?|- I would like that.
{32546}{32589}- That's him.|- Great. Go get him!
{32595}{32636}Maybe you could go in first.
{32642}{32732}I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray.|I have a few routine questions.
{32827}{32956}Oh, my God!
{33185}{33292}Should we tell Rachel there's an empty|room right next to
hers?
{33301}{33396}We could. Or we could have sex in it.
{33411}{33522}Well, let me think about that.|While I remove my pants!
{33545}{33652}Okay, mister! Fertilize me!
{33897}{33963}Does that sound like Janice?
{33967}{34037}If it's not, then there's two of them.
{34043}{34131}And that would mean|it's the end of the world!
{34136}{34198}The One Where Rachel has a Baby - Part II
{35094}{35118}Hey.
{35123}{35147}- Hey.|- Hi.
{35152}{35228}I can't believe this is taking so long.|How are you?
{35233}{35379}Not bad. You know that feeling, trying|to blow a Saint
Bernard out your ass?
{35428}{35504}Weirdest thing. Did I hear...?
{35509}{35568}Mother of God, it's true!
{35580}{35676}Chandler Bing!
{35680}{35704}Janice.
{35710}{35846}Not just Janice. Janice in labor.|Contracting and
everything.
{35854}{35936}Oh, this should be easy.|I have a very wide pelvis.
{35941}{36000}You remember, Chandler.
{36057}{36110}I didn't know you were pregnant.
{36114}{36229}Who's the unwitting human|whose essence you've stolen?
{36266}{36313}It's you.
{36321}{36372}This is yours.
{36377}{36416}What?
{36421}{36542}Look how nervous he gets!|We haven't slept together in
years!
{36587}{36688}That's funny. Does it hurt?|Does the labor hurt?
{36731}{36821}Okay, I have one.|If you had to, which would you eat?
{36826}{36931}A Seeing Eye dog or a talking gorilla?
{36991}{37069}I'd have to say the talking gorilla.
{37073}{37188}'Cause at least I could explain to him|that you're making me
eat him.
{37201}{37287}- Oh. Somebody went to college.|- Yeah.
{37291}{37344}Wow. What is it? I'm sorry.
{37349}{37421}I'm sorry. My foot itches like crazy.
{37425}{37491}Oh. I'll get it.
{37518}{37637}I usually get to know a girl better|before I let her spoon
me.
{37642}{37720}Relax. It's not like we're forking.
{37873}{38009}Oh, that's five, Ross.|Five women have had five babies...
{38013}{38072}...and I have had no babies.
{38076}{38144}Why doesn't she want to come out?
{38148}{38220}I think you made such a nice|home for her...
{38224}{38327}...the last nine months,|that she just doesn't want to
leave.
{38332}{38474}Oh, look at you making up crap for me.
{38500}{38578}- Oh, God.|- Okay. Okay.
{38583}{38644}Twenty-one hours. You're a hero.
{38650}{38705}Do something! Get me drugs...
{38709}{38806}...or you light a fire up in there|and just smoke it out!
{38842}{38924}I think you're ready to go|to the delivery room.
{38929}{38953}What?
{38958}{39063}Ten centimeters.|You're about to become a mom.
{39067}{39151}Oh, my God. Okay.
{39156}{39261}Beat you, sucker! Oh, baby.
{39405}{39526}Oh, my God! That's the doctor|who was in my room before.
{39548}{39655}Oh. Okay, Mr. Percocet.
{39678}{39770}I'm telling you, the guy|from that show was here...
{39775}{39847}...asking me all these weird questions.
{39852}{39951}Do you really believe that a character|from a TV show was
here?
{39956}{40015}Rachel's having her baby!
{40066}{40123}That's him! You know him?
{40138}{40226}Okay. Okay. L... Okay.
{40230}{40327}I sent my friend, Joey,|in here to find out stuff about you.
{40331}{40425}If it, you know, if it helps,|you came off great.
{40430}{40518}A lot better than I'm coming off|right now.
{40523}{40622}I don't believe this. You had him|pretend he was a fake
doctor?
{40627}{40713}Fake? Excuse me? Hello?
{40736}{40880}- You tried making me think I was crazy?|- That was wrong.
I'm so sorry.
{40884}{40987}It's just that I liked you so much.|Can we just start over?
{40991}{41019}I don't think so.
{41027}{41144}If I may? You told me a lot|of personal stuff about you,
right?
{41148}{41269}Now, maybe it would help if you knew|some personal stuff
about her.
{41273}{41355}She was married to a gay ice dancer.
{41360}{41465}She gave birth to her|brother's triplets.
{41511}{41638}Her twin sister used to do porn.
{41642}{41741}- We're trying to dial down the crazy.|- Right.
{41799}{41902}We don't know each other,|so it'd be easy to forget this...
{41909}{42006}...but there's something between us.|I don't know about
you...
{42011}{42074}...but that doesn't happen to me a lot.
{42105}{42216}- It doesn't happen to me, either.|- Me, neither!
{42265}{42376}Push. Push. We're gonna push|for five more seconds.
{42381}{42422}Five, four...
{42427}{42482}Three, two, one! Oh!
{42503}{42579}The next contraction will be|in 20 seconds.
{42583}{42653}- I can't push anymore!|- You're doing great.
{42658}{42734}Oh, God! Twenty seconds, my ass!
{42742}{42795}Here we go. Okay, keep pushing.
{42800}{42843}- Come on.|- Push. Wait.
{42849}{42935}- I see something.|- What, you do? You do? Oh, my God!
{42941}{43015}- Don't say "Oh, my God!" What?!|- What is that?
{43020}{43080}The baby's buttocks. She's breech.
{43085}{43186}- I thought she had two heads.|- Oh, God!
{43190}{43219}Will she be okay?
{43224}{43259}- She'll be fine.|- Yeah.
{43264}{43340}She's in a difficult position,|so push hard.
{43345}{43400}- Okay.|- Go. Come on. Go! Go!
{43406}{43451}You'll have to push harder.
{43456}{43565}- I'm sorry, I can't! I can't!|- Yes, you can. I know you
can do this.
{43569}{43674}I can't do it.|Please, you do it for me!
{43679}{43835}Let's go. One more time.|One final push. Ready? One, two,
three.
{43849}{43894}Good.
{43899}{43962}Keep pushing!
{43973}{44051}Are you okay?
{44073}{44165}You have no idea how much this hurts.
{44211}{44293}Keep going! Keep going!
{44297}{44330}Here we go!
{44334}{44406}She's upside down, but she's coming!
{44417}{44474}- Oh, God!|- Oh! Oh, my God!
{44479}{44549}Oh, my God, she's here.
{44618}{44671}Oh, she's perfect.
{44677}{44796}Oh, wow! Oh, she's so tiny.
{44896}{44995}- Where'd she go?|- They're just wrapping her up.
{45001}{45102}Okay. Well, be careful with her,|she's really tiny.
{45143}{45219}Here she is.
{45450}{45540}Oh, thanks for coming out of me.
{45584}{45662}I know. Oh.
{45763}{45897}She's looking at me. Hi. I know you.
{45914}{45986}- Do we have a name yet?|- No, not yet.
{45991}{46077}Fine. For now we'll just|call her Baby Girl Greene.
{46082}{46168}Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller-Greene.
{46563}{46647}Hello, Baby Girl.
{46783}{46838}- Can we come in?|- Oh, come on in.
{46842}{46932}- Oh, there she is.|- Oh, she's so beautiful.
{46936}{46973}Here.
{46987}{47100}Oh, my God. She's amazing.
{47104}{47223}Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk|and had sex.
{47248}{47338}It's incredible. I mean,|one minute she's inside you...
{47342}{47418}...and then 47 hours later,|here she is.
{47543}{47619}She looks so real.
{47640}{47675}You know what I mean.
{47680}{47762}- Okay, my turn. My turn.|- Aunt Phoebe.
{47767}{47864}Oh, baby. Oh, you're so cute!
{47868}{47965}Oh, I could squeeze your little head.
{47996}{48053}I won't.
{48057}{48176}- Honey, what's the matter?|- Nothing. I just can't stop
crying.
{48181}{48273}The doctor said it's normal,|plus you're sleep-deprived.
{48278}{48329}You guys are all sleep-deprived.
{48335}{48456}I don't see you weeping because you|put your slippers on the
wrong feet.
{48465}{48506}Oh, God.
{48511}{48620}- What's the matter now?|- I was reliving it.
{48644}{48716}Do you know what you're gonna|call her yet?
{48721}{48848}Wait, it's not gonna be Baby Girl?|I thought that was so
original.
{48869}{48935}Actually, we've narrowed it|down to two.
{48941}{49083}And you know what? I love them both.|So just pick one, and
that'll be it.
{49087}{49225}Wow, okay. Everyone?
{49229}{49326}This is Isabella.
{49331}{49424}- Hi, Isabella!|- Hi.
{49491}{49515}What?
{49521}{49587}That's not her name.
{49592}{49676}I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel|like an Isabella.
{49681}{49738}- What was the other one?|- Delilah.
{49744}{49859}Oh, great! At least she|sounds like a biblical whore.
{49920}{50017}So, I guess we're back to Baby Girl.
{50058}{50086}What will we do?
{50091}{50157}- You'll find a name.|- Easy for you to say.
{50161}{50229}You know what your|kids' names will be.
{50233}{50338}- You do?|- I had them picked out since I was 14.
{50344}{50463}Oh, no, it's gonna be named after|some snack or baked good,
isn't it?
{50535}{50663}- Well, tell us, what are they?|- Okay. If it's a boy, it's
Daniel.
{50668}{50748}- And if it's a girl?|- I don't want to say.
{50754}{50851}Oh, stop. Tell us.|We're not gonna want it.
{50855}{50914}Okay. It's Emma.
{50920}{50992}Emma.
{51085}{51155}See, I don't want it.
{51259}{51333}- Take it.|- What?
{51346}{51387}She's clearly an Emma.
{51392}{51472}Oh, honey, but you love that name.
{51476}{51562}Yeah. But I love you more.
{51603}{51714}Besides, nothing goes with Bing.|So I'm screwed.
{51846}{51986}Aaron Lipman-Guralnick would like|to say hello to his future
bride.
{51991}{52042}Oh.
{52190}{52274}Wow, he kind of takes your breath away,|doesn't he?
{52278}{52344}He's a keeper.
{52358}{52467}- How are you feeling?|- Oh, I'm fine.
{52492}{52636}I really admire what you're doing.|Just raising her all
alone.
{52640}{52702}I'm not doing it alone. I have Ross.
{52708}{52838}Sure. Now. But what happens when he|meets somebody else and
gets married?
{52858}{52946}Well, then he gets a divorce.|It's Ross.
{53004}{53068}I'm telling you. Listen to Janice.
{53073}{53221}They all say they're gonna be there,|until they start their
real family.
{53240}{53332}- That's never gonna happen with Ross.|- That's what I
thought.
{53336}{53437}I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend|a weekend with her
father...
{53442}{53499}...and little Miss New Boobs.
{53517}{53570}Really?
{53581}{53636}I hate to be the one to say it...
{53641}{53762}...but, honey, you two are on your own.
{53788}{53858}Well, that's, you know, that's...
{53863}{53966}We've been alone for the last|20 minutes and we're doing
okay.
{53994}{54035}Maybe we won't be alone.
{54040}{54159}Because lately things have been|happening between me and
Ross.
{54163}{54276}And right before I went into labor,|we had this kiss. You
know?
{54281}{54423}So it might be the beginning|of something.
{54441}{54502}- Hey, Janice.|- Oh, hi.
{54514}{54613}Who's this little guy?
{54619}{54724}- Aaron, your future son-in-law.|- Oh, no, no.
{54739}{54838}- I'm gonna leave you three alone.|- Okay.
{54852}{54928}Man, you see the kid on that nose?
{55010}{55076}You know what I was thinking about?
{55137}{55275}That kiss before we left the apartment.|That was something,
huh?
{55306}{55374}Yeah. Yeah, it really was.
{55378}{55444}But we, we gotta be careful.
{55448}{55553}We... You know, we can't let|that happen again, you know?
{55594}{55639}Right.
{55644}{55800}- We don't want to go down that road.|- No. That's why I
brought it up.
{55886}{55976}- They didn't have any sodas?|- Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
{55981}{56078}I was talking to this nurse.|Completely forgot.
{56115}{56189}And so it begins.
{56346}{56374}She in there?
{56383}{56463}Yeah. She's putting her down now.|That's her.
{56467}{56582}- Look at Emma.|- I can't decide who she looks like.
{56586}{56691}Oh, what, are you kidding?|She's gorgeous! It's all Rachel.
{56791}{56912}I'm sorry. For the last time,|why aren't you two together
again?
{56936}{57012}No, I know.|Because you're not in that place.
{57016}{57092}Which would be fine,|except you totally are.
{57097}{57185}It's complicated, okay?
{57202}{57309}You love her, you always have,|you have a child together.
{57314}{57371}There's no right answer.
{57410}{57527}Look, we've been together.|Then apart. Then together, then
apart.
{57531}{57603}And now we have a baby.
{57658}{57773}It's just, if we got together again|and it didn't work out?
{57786}{57864}I could never do that to Emma.
{57895}{58043}I mean, she came into this world|thinking everything... Now
me.
{58048}{58138}What, do they put something|in the water here?
{58151}{58237}It's just, Rachel and I,|we're doing really well now.
{58241}{58333}I know. If you try to make it more,|you might wreck it.
{58337}{58407}- Yeah, exactly.|- Right.
{58446}{58547}Or you might get everything|you've wanted since you were 15.
{58756}{58803}Hey.
{58807}{58893}I saw a woman breastfeeding|twins at the same time.
{58897}{58963}It is like a freak show up here.
{58978}{59025}- What's the matter?|- Nothing.
{59029}{59068}What is it? Hey?
{59073}{59176}- Really, it's nothing. I'm...|- Rach, come on. What?
{59194}{59317}I've just been thinking about how|my baby and I are gonna be
all alone.
{59327}{59395}What are you talking about?|What about Ross?
{59400}{59548}Please. He'll be with his real family.|The twins and little
Miss New Boobs.
{59553}{59629}Okay, how long|was I watching that woman?
{59644}{59706}I'm just saying that, you know...
{59712}{59786}...someday Ross is gonna|meet somebody...
{59791}{59859}...and he's gonna have his own life.
{59864}{59896}Right?
{59917}{59968}Yeah, I guess so.
{60027}{60144}I just never thought I'd be raising|this baby all by myself.
{60149}{60190}That's pretty dumb, huh?
{60196}{60270}Hey, you listen to me. Listen to me.
{60275}{60374}You are never, ever gonna be alone.
{60379}{60492}Okay? I promise I|won't let that happen.
{60520}{60658}Joey. Oh, sweetie,|what would I do without you?
{60662}{60748}You don't have to worry about that,|okay?
{60835}{60909}Could you grab me my other box|of tissues?
{60913}{60999}- They're under Ross' coat.|- Sure.
{61204}{61274}Oh, my God!
{61286}{61335}Joey?
{61385}{61446}Oh, my God.
{61571}{61622}Okay.
{62457}{62527}- That was amazing.|- I know.
{62570}{62714}Hey, do you realize that we may have|just changed our lives
forever?
{62718}{62821}We may have started our family.|In nine months we could be
here...
{62826}{62879}...having our own baby.
{62884}{62968}And if not, we got to do it|on a bucket.
{63085}{63109}[ENGLISH]
Season 8 Episode 24
{65}{100}"Previously on" Friends:
{104}{155}I've been at this for 17 hours.
{161}{212}- How many centimeters am I dilated?|- Three.
{218}{300}Just three? I'm dilated three!
{326}{406}- We talk about having babies someday.|- We're gonna try?
{495}{548}Maybe here.
{553}{641}Your grandma's engagement ring,|I want you to give it to Rachel.
{645}{698}- Mom, no.|- This isn't some girl...
{703}{804}...you picked up in a bar|and humped.
{831}{890}I take it you're just visiting someone?
{895}{948}- Wanna visit someone else?|- I would like that.
{981}{1024}- That's him.|- Great. Go get him!
{1030}{1071}Maybe you could go in first.
{1077}{1167}I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray.|I have a few routine questions.
{1262}{1391}Oh, my God!
{1620}{1727}Should we tell Rachel there's an empty|room right next to
hers?
{1736}{1831}We could. Or we could have sex in it.
{1846}{1957}Well, let me think about that.|While I remove my pants!
{1980}{2087}Okay, mister! Fertilize me!
{2332}{2398}Does that sound like Janice?
{2402}{2472}If it's not, then there's two of them.
{2478}{2566}And that would mean|it's the end of the world!
{2571}{2633}The One Where Rachel has a Baby - Part II
{3529}{3553}Hey.
{3558}{3582}- Hey.|- Hi.
{3587}{3663}I can't believe this is taking so long.|How are you?
{3668}{3814}Not bad. You know that feeling, trying|to blow a Saint Bernard
out your ass?
{3863}{3939}Weirdest thing. Did I hear...?
{3944}{4003}Mother of God, it's true!
{4015}{4111}Chandler Bing!
{4115}{4139}Janice.
{4145}{4281}Not just Janice. Janice in labor.|Contracting and everything.
{4289}{4371}Oh, this should be easy.|I have a very wide pelvis.
{4376}{4435}You remember, Chandler.
{4492}{4545}I didn't know you were pregnant.
{4549}{4664}Who's the unwitting human|whose essence you've stolen?
{4701}{4748}It's you.
{4756}{4807}This is yours.
{4812}{4851}What?
{4856}{4977}Look how nervous he gets!|We haven't slept together in years!
{5022}{5123}That's funny. Does it hurt?|Does the labor hurt?
{5166}{5256}Okay, I have one.|If you had to, which would you eat?
{5261}{5366}A Seeing Eye dog or a talking gorilla?
{5426}{5504}I'd have to say the talking gorilla.
{5508}{5623}'Cause at least I could explain to him|that you're making me
eat him.
{5636}{5722}- Oh. Somebody went to college.|- Yeah.
{5726}{5779}Wow. What is it? I'm sorry.
{5784}{5856}I'm sorry. My foot itches like crazy.
{5860}{5926}Oh. I'll get it.
{5953}{6072}I usually get to know a girl better|before I let her spoon me.
{6077}{6155}Relax. It's not like we're forking.
{6308}{6444}Oh, that's five, Ross.|Five women have had five babies...
{6448}{6507}...and I have had no babies.
{6511}{6579}Why doesn't she want to come out?
{6583}{6655}I think you made such a nice|home for her...
{6659}{6762}...the last nine months,|that she just doesn't want to leave.
{6767}{6909}Oh, look at you making up crap for me.
{6935}{7013}- Oh, God.|- Okay. Okay.
{7018}{7079}Twenty-one hours. You're a hero.
{7085}{7140}Do something! Get me drugs...
{7144}{7241}...or you light a fire up in there|and just smoke it out!
{7277}{7359}I think you're ready to go|to the delivery room.
{7364}{7388}What?
{7393}{7498}Ten centimeters.|You're about to become a mom.
{7502}{7586}Oh, my God. Okay.
{7591}{7696}Beat you, sucker! Oh, baby.
{7840}{7961}Oh, my God! That's the doctor|who was in my room before.
{7983}{8090}Oh. Okay, Mr. Percocet.
{8113}{8205}I'm telling you, the guy|from that show was here...
{8210}{8282}...asking me all these weird questions.
{8287}{8386}Do you really believe that a character|from a TV show was
here?
{8391}{8450}Rachel's having her baby!
{8501}{8558}That's him! You know him?
{8573}{8661}Okay. Okay. L... Okay.
{8665}{8762}I sent my friend, Joey,|in here to find out stuff about you.
{8766}{8860}If it, you know, if it helps,|you came off great.
{8865}{8953}A lot better than I'm coming off|right now.
{8958}{9057}I don't believe this. You had him|pretend he was a fake
doctor?
{9062}{9148}Fake? Excuse me? Hello?
{9171}{9315}- You tried making me think I was crazy?|- That was wrong. I'm
so sorry.
{9319}{9422}It's just that I liked you so much.|Can we just start over?
{9426}{9454}I don't think so.
{9462}{9579}If I may? You told me a lot|of personal stuff about you,
right?
{9583}{9704}Now, maybe it would help if you knew|some personal stuff about
her.
{9708}{9790}She was married to a gay ice dancer.
{9795}{9900}She gave birth to her|brother's triplets.
{9946}{10073}Her twin sister used to do porn.
{10077}{10176}- We're trying to dial down the crazy.|- Right.
{10234}{10337}We don't know each other,|so it'd be easy to forget this...
{10344}{10441}...but there's something between us.|I don't know about
you...
{10446}{10509}...but that doesn't happen to me a lot.
{10540}{10651}- It doesn't happen to me, either.|- Me, neither!
{10700}{10811}Push. Push. We're gonna push|for five more seconds.
{10816}{10857}Five, four...
{10862}{10917}Three, two, one! Oh!
{10938}{11014}The next contraction will be|in 20 seconds.
{11018}{11088}- I can't push anymore!|- You're doing great.
{11093}{11169}Oh, God! Twenty seconds, my ass!
{11177}{11230}Here we go. Okay, keep pushing.
{11235}{11278}- Come on.|- Push. Wait.
{11284}{11370}- I see something.|- What, you do? You do? Oh, my God!
{11376}{11450}- Don't say "Oh, my God!" What?!|- What is that?
{11455}{11515}The baby's buttocks. She's breech.
{11520}{11621}- I thought she had two heads.|- Oh, God!
{11625}{11654}Will she be okay?
{11659}{11694}- She'll be fine.|- Yeah.
{11699}{11775}She's in a difficult position,|so push hard.
{11780}{11835}- Okay.|- Go. Come on. Go! Go!
{11841}{11886}You'll have to push harder.
{11891}{12000}- I'm sorry, I can't! I can't!|- Yes, you can. I know you
can do this.
{12004}{12109}I can't do it.|Please, you do it for me!
{12114}{12270}Let's go. One more time.|One final push. Ready? One, two,
three.
{12284}{12329}Good.
{12334}{12397}Keep pushing!
{12408}{12486}Are you okay?
{12508}{12600}You have no idea how much this hurts.
{12646}{12728}Keep going! Keep going!
{12732}{12765}Here we go!
{12769}{12841}She's upside down, but she's coming!
{12852}{12909}- Oh, God!|- Oh! Oh, my God!
{12914}{12984}Oh, my God, she's here.
{13053}{13106}Oh, she's perfect.
{13112}{13231}Oh, wow! Oh, she's so tiny.
{13331}{13430}- Where'd she go?|- They're just wrapping her up.
{13436}{13537}Okay. Well, be careful with her,|she's really tiny.
{13578}{13654}Here she is.
{13885}{13975}Oh, thanks for coming out of me.
{14019}{14097}I know. Oh.
{14198}{14332}She's looking at me. Hi. I know you.
{14349}{14421}- Do we have a name yet?|- No, not yet.
{14426}{14512}Fine. For now we'll just|call her Baby Girl Greene.
{14517}{14603}Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller-Greene.
{14998}{15082}Hello, Baby Girl.
{15218}{15273}- Can we come in?|- Oh, come on in.
{15277}{15367}- Oh, there she is.|- Oh, she's so beautiful.
{15371}{15408}Here.
{15422}{15535}Oh, my God. She's amazing.
{15539}{15658}Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk|and had sex.
{15683}{15773}It's incredible. I mean,|one minute she's inside you...
{15777}{15853}...and then 47 hours later,|here she is.
{15978}{16054}She looks so real.
{16075}{16110}You know what I mean.
{16115}{16197}- Okay, my turn. My turn.|- Aunt Phoebe.
{16202}{16299}Oh, baby. Oh, you're so cute!
{16303}{16400}Oh, I could squeeze your little head.
{16431}{16488}I won't.
{16492}{16611}- Honey, what's the matter?|- Nothing. I just can't stop
crying.
{16616}{16708}The doctor said it's normal,|plus you're sleep-deprived.
{16713}{16764}You guys are all sleep-deprived.
{16770}{16891}I don't see you weeping because you|put your slippers on the
wrong feet.
{16900}{16941}Oh, God.
{16946}{17055}- What's the matter now?|- I was reliving it.
{17079}{17151}Do you know what you're gonna|call her yet?
{17156}{17283}Wait, it's not gonna be Baby Girl?|I thought that was so
original.
{17304}{17370}Actually, we've narrowed it|down to two.
{17376}{17518}And you know what? I love them both.|So just pick one, and
that'll be it.
{17522}{17660}Wow, okay. Everyone?
{17664}{17761}This is Isabella.
{17766}{17859}- Hi, Isabella!|- Hi.
{17926}{17950}What?
{17956}{18022}That's not her name.
{18027}{18111}I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel|like an Isabella.
{18116}{18173}- What was the other one?|- Delilah.
{18179}{18294}Oh, great! At least she|sounds like a biblical whore.
{18355}{18452}So, I guess we're back to Baby Girl.
{18493}{18521}What will we do?
{18526}{18592}- You'll find a name.|- Easy for you to say.
{18596}{18664}You know what your|kids' names will be.
{18668}{18773}- You do?|- I had them picked out since I was 14.
{18779}{18898}Oh, no, it's gonna be named after|some snack or baked good,
isn't it?
{18970}{19098}- Well, tell us, what are they?|- Okay. If it's a boy, it's
Daniel.
{19103}{19183}- And if it's a girl?|- I don't want to say.
{19189}{19286}Oh, stop. Tell us.|We're not gonna want it.
{19290}{19349}Okay. It's Emma.
{19355}{19427}Emma.
{19520}{19590}See, I don't want it.
{19694}{19768}- Take it.|- What?
{19781}{19822}She's clearly an Emma.
{19827}{19907}Oh, honey, but you love that name.
{19911}{19997}Yeah. But I love you more.
{20038}{20149}Besides, nothing goes with Bing.|So I'm screwed.
{20281}{20421}Aaron Lipman-Guralnick would like|to say hello to his future
bride.
{20426}{20477}Oh.
{20625}{20709}Wow, he kind of takes your breath away,|doesn't he?
{20713}{20779}He's a keeper.
{20793}{20902}- How are you feeling?|- Oh, I'm fine.
{20927}{21071}I really admire what you're doing.|Just raising her all
alone.
{21075}{21137}I'm not doing it alone. I have Ross.
{21143}{21273}Sure. Now. But what happens when he|meets somebody else and
gets married?
{21293}{21381}Well, then he gets a divorce.|It's Ross.
{21439}{21503}I'm telling you. Listen to Janice.
{21508}{21656}They all say they're gonna be there,|until they start their
real family.
{21675}{21767}- That's never gonna happen with Ross.|- That's what I
thought.
{21771}{21872}I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend|a weekend with her
father...
{21877}{21934}...and little Miss New Boobs.
{21952}{22005}Really?
{22016}{22071}I hate to be the one to say it...
{22076}{22197}...but, honey, you two are on your own.
{22223}{22293}Well, that's, you know, that's...
{22298}{22401}We've been alone for the last|20 minutes and we're doing
okay.
{22429}{22470}Maybe we won't be alone.
{22475}{22594}Because lately things have been|happening between me and
Ross.
{22598}{22711}And right before I went into labor,|we had this kiss. You
know?
{22716}{22858}So it might be the beginning|of something.
{22876}{22937}- Hey, Janice.|- Oh, hi.
{22949}{23048}Who's this little guy?
{23054}{23159}- Aaron, your future son-in-law.|- Oh, no, no.
{23174}{23273}- I'm gonna leave you three alone.|- Okay.
{23287}{23363}Man, you see the kid on that nose?
{23445}{23511}You know what I was thinking about?
{23572}{23710}That kiss before we left the apartment.|That was something,
huh?
{23741}{23809}Yeah. Yeah, it really was.
{23813}{23879}But we, we gotta be careful.
{23883}{23988}We... You know, we can't let|that happen again, you know?
{24029}{24074}Right.
{24079}{24235}- We don't want to go down that road.|- No. That's why I
brought it up.
{24321}{24411}- They didn't have any sodas?|- Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
{24416}{24513}I was talking to this nurse.|Completely forgot.
{24550}{24624}And so it begins.
{24781}{24809}She in there?
{24818}{24898}Yeah. She's putting her down now.|That's her.
{24902}{25017}- Look at Emma.|- I can't decide who she looks like.
{25021}{25126}Oh, what, are you kidding?|She's gorgeous! It's all Rachel.
{25226}{25347}I'm sorry. For the last time,|why aren't you two together
again?
{25371}{25447}No, I know.|Because you're not in that place.
{25451}{25527}Which would be fine,|except you totally are.
{25532}{25620}It's complicated, okay?
{25637}{25744}You love her, you always have,|you have a child together.
{25749}{25806}There's no right answer.
{25845}{25962}Look, we've been together.|Then apart. Then together, then
apart.
{25966}{26038}And now we have a baby.
{26093}{26208}It's just, if we got together again|and it didn't work out?
{26221}{26299}I could never do that to Emma.
{26330}{26478}I mean, she came into this world|thinking everything... Now
me.
{26483}{26573}What, do they put something|in the water here?
{26586}{26672}It's just, Rachel and I,|we're doing really well now.
{26676}{26768}I know. If you try to make it more,|you might wreck it.
{26772}{26842}- Yeah, exactly.|- Right.
{26881}{26982}Or you might get everything|you've wanted since you were 15.
{27191}{27238}Hey.
{27242}{27328}I saw a woman breastfeeding|twins at the same time.
{27332}{27398}It is like a freak show up here.
{27413}{27460}- What's the matter?|- Nothing.
{27464}{27503}What is it? Hey?
{27508}{27611}- Really, it's nothing. I'm...|- Rach, come on. What?
{27629}{27752}I've just been thinking about how|my baby and I are gonna be
all alone.
{27762}{27830}What are you talking about?|What about Ross?
{27835}{27983}Please. He'll be with his real family.|The twins and little
Miss New Boobs.
{27988}{28064}Okay, how long|was I watching that woman?
{28079}{28141}I'm just saying that, you know...
{28147}{28221}...someday Ross is gonna|meet somebody...
{28226}{28294}...and he's gonna have his own life.
{28299}{28331}Right?
{28352}{28403}Yeah, I guess so.
{28462}{28579}I just never thought I'd be raising|this baby all by myself.
{28584}{28625}That's pretty dumb, huh?
{28631}{28705}Hey, you listen to me. Listen to me.
{28710}{28809}You are never, ever gonna be alone.
{28814}{28927}Okay? I promise I|won't let that happen.
{28955}{29093}Joey. Oh, sweetie,|what would I do without you?
{29097}{29183}You don't have to worry about that,|okay?
{29270}{29344}Could you grab me my other box|of tissues?
{29348}{29434}- They're under Ross' coat.|- Sure.
{29639}{29709}Oh, my God!
{29721}{29770}Joey?
{29820}{29881}Oh, my God.
{30006}{30057}Okay.
{30892}{30962}- That was amazing.|- I know.
{31005}{31149}Hey, do you realize that we may have|just changed our lives
forever?
{31153}{31256}We may have started our family.|In nine months we could be
here...
{31261}{31314}...having our own baby.
{31319}{31403}And if not, we got to do it|on a bucket.
{31520}{31544}[ENGLISH]

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