A DEAD DREAM

BY~~ SGP 2009

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(inspired from a scene of 8th semester with few changes)

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 A Dead Dream

Kabhi-kabhi ek bura khwab ek buri haqiqat bankar samne aata hai, wo itna
bura hota hai ki humare zindagi ko sahara dene wale tamam pahaluo ko tod
kar bikher deta hai....us din maine socha tak nahi tha ki aaj mujhe itna bura
sapna aayega, jo subah hote hee sach ki chadar lapet lega....ye khwab jo raat
ko main dekhne wala tha ya jo bhi sapna maine us raat dekha wo mere liye
bahut khas hone ke sath-sath bahut darawana bhi tha...wo bura khwab khas
isliye tha kyunki subah hote hee wo sach ho gaya aur darawana isliye kyunki
main isme shamil tha.......
.
Us samay main 12th class me tha, aur ghar se door Bhopal me ek boys school
me apni padhayi kar raha tha, school hostel facility deti thi, isliye waha padhne
wale har adhikatar students hostel me hee rahte the,humara shedule kafi
thaka dene wala hota tha, roz raat ko lagbhag hum 9-10 baze free hote aur us
thakan bhare shedule ke baad jab hum hostel aate to sote waqt yahi sochate ki
aaj sapne me katrina kaif aa jaye, ya phhir Priyanka ya phhir Angelina ya phhir
koyi bhi maaldar haseena....jinke sath main raat bhar sapne me masti karu....us
raat bhi main yahi sochkar soya tha ki aaj koyi ladki sapne me aayegi...lekin
waisa kuch bhi nahi hua, kyunki waisa kuch hona hee nahi tha....maine sapne
me ek maut dekhi, wo maut main jis hostel me rahta tha,usi me hui thi marne
wala aur koyi nahi balki mera ek dost ,jiska room neeche wale floor par tha ,wo
hostel ki bathroom me chhat se lage hook se latka hua tha.....sapne me main
waha subah uthkar hath muh dhone gaya tha,lekin jaise hee bathroom ka
darwaza khola to mera wo dost upar chhat ki hook se latka hua tha....
.
main turant buri tarah cheekha aur meri aankh khul gayi, maine khud ko
paseene se pura bheega hua bistar par paya...main jaldi se utha aur time
dekha...sham ke 6 baj rahe the...
"what the ***...main kal raat se aaj sham tak sota raha....strange.."jab maine
time dekha to mera pahla reaction yahi tha....
ab jab sokar utha hee tha to bathroom to jana hee tha,main turant bathroom
ki taraf darte hue chal pada ,kyunki mujhe wo sapna abhi bhi yaad tha,isliye
maine pahle dheere se bathroom ka darwaza khola aur us taraf dekha jaha

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sapne me mera dost latka hua tha...lekin us waqt sab kuch thik tha...maine ek
lambi saans bhari aur fresh hokar room ki taraf wapas chala....
.
itni der me jo ek baat mere dimag me khatki thi wo ye ki is waqt us pure hostel
me ek bhi halchal nahi thi, jabki baki din kisi ladayi-jhagde ki, gali-galauch ki
aawaz sunayi deti thi...hostel ka har ek room bilkul aisa tha,jaise kayi salo se
yaha koyi nahi aaya hai....
"sab khana khane mess gaye honge..."apne room ki taraf badhte hue maine
khud se kaha aur taiyar hokar mess ki taraf paidal hee nikal pada.....lekin ek
baat ab bhi mere andar khatak rahi thi...wo ye ki main lagatar 20 ghante kaise
so gaya aur wo sapna...sala bahut hee bura sapna tha....aur ye saare launde aaj
ek hee waqt par kaha gayab ho gaye....
.
aise kayi khayalat bunte hue main mess me ghusa,waha kisi jaanwar ke jhund
ki tarah aawaz aa rahi thi, aisa lag raha tha jaise ki waha insaan nahi koyi
jaanwar khana kha rahe ho...khair maine bhi ek plate uthayi aur lababab plate
bharkar un jaanwaro me shamil ho gaya...jab main waha ek table par baith kar
khana shuru kiya tha ,tab waha bahut saare log the,kuch der tak kya hua mujhe
kuch pata nahi chala, na maine kisi se baat ki aur na hee kisi aur ne mujhse
baat ki...main bas apne thali ka khana khatm karne me jee jaan se tula hua
tha....usi beech maine ek nazar uthakar samne dekha aur hairan rah gaya, sab
ek-a-ek waha se gayab ho gaye the, ab waha na to koyi table par baith kar apna
pet bhar raha tha aur na hee waha mess me kaam karne wale the...sab
achanak se chhu-mantar ho gaye the....
"BC ye ho kya raha hai..."thali par nazar dalte hue maine kaha, meri plate me is
waqt na jaane pani kaha se bhar aaya tha, chawal daal ke kad pani me upar tair
rahe the....maine ek do baar waha kaam karne walo ko aawaz bhi di ,lekin jab
koyi nahi aaya to maine plate gusse se zameen par patak di,aur waha se bahar
aane ke liye badha......
.
main bahar ki taraf aa raha tha ki meri nazar zameen me baithe ek ladke par
padi, us ladki ki age mere jitni hee hogi,shuru-shuru me maine aisa andaza
lagaya, shuru me uska chehra kuch saaf dikhayi nahi diya,lekin jab main wahi
khada hokar use dekhta raha to dheere dheere uska face saaf hota gaya, us
waqt waha neeche baitha hua ladka aur koyi nahi balki mera wahi dost

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tha,jisne sapne me khud ki jaan di thi....wo is waqt zameen me idhar udhar
bikhare hue dano ko ikattha kar raha tha.....
"kyun be, mirgi maar gayi hai kya,jo aisi harkate kar raha hai...."
usne meri baat ka koyi jawab nahi diya, balki wo aur bhi tezi se waha gire hue
dano ko aise sametane laga ,jaise wo diamond ho,...jab usne mujhse baat nahi
ki to maine use galiya baki aur waha se aage badha....abhi main do char kadam
hee chal paya tha ki mere kadam zameen se chipak gaye, main laakh koshish
aur apni puri taqat lagane ke bawzood ek kadam bhi aage nahi badh raha tha
aur usi waqt mere sar me ek tez dard shuru ho gaya, wo dard aisa tha ki jaise
kisi ne rod lekar apni puri taqat se mere sar par de mari ho...main aankhe band
kar ke ,apne dono hatho se khud ke sar ko pakda aur dard ke maare cheekh
pada....lekin meri us cheekh ko sunne wala waha koyi nahi tha siway mere us
dost ke....maine chillate hue uska naam pukara....
"chillata kyun hai be,..aa baith idhar.."wo bola...
Meri nazar us par jaise hee padi to meri aankhe bahar nikal aayi,gala sookh
gaya ,kyunki is waqt mere us dost ke sar ke baal kisi ladkiyo ki tarah achanak
lambe ho gaye the, uske wo baal geele bhi the aur zameen se touch bhi ho
rahe the, is waqt uski aankhe surkh laal thi,...
"Atindra....."usko dekhkar haklate hue maine uska naam liya...
usne ek pal ke liye mujhe dekha lekin agle hee pal wo phhir se zameen me
khane ke dano ko sametane laga....aur main use aisa karte hue sirf dekhta
raha....
.
Meri samajh me is waqt kuch bhi nahi aa raha tha ki ho kya raha hai...jaha kuch
der pahle yaha itne log the,wo ek pal me achanak se chale kaha gaye, meri
plate me achanak se pani kaise bhar gaya aur sabse badi chaukane wali baat to
ye thi ki main is waqt yaha zameen par kyun pada hoon, aur Atindra aise
behave kyun kar raha hai....kya koyi mere sath bura mazak kar raha hai ? Ya
sach me aisa ho raha hai ?
.
Na....ye pakka kisi ka bahut hee bhadda mazak hai,warna Atindra ke baal itne
jaldi kaise badh jate aur uski aankhe laal nahi hoti....maine kuch bolna
chaha,Atindra ko aawaz deni chahi...lekin aawaz jaise gale se bahar hee nahi aa
rahi thi...mera muh khulta aur band ho jata.....main lagbhag aadhe ghante tak
waha zameen par pada kuch bolne ki koshish karta raha, aur Atindra waha aas-

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pass bikhre hue khane ke daano ko sametata raha aur jab usne waha bikhre
sabhi daano ko samet liya to apne ek hath se un dano ko uthakar mere pass
aaya, uske baal ab bhi ladkiyo ki tarah lambe the aur zameen se touch ho rahe
the....
"aaj ka khana bahut geela-geela hai, daal chawal ke dane pani me utar aaye
hai,isliye main zameen me pade dano ko samet kar kha raha hoon...tu bhi
khayega..?"
Maine turant na me gardan hila di, jisse wo gussa ho gaya aur mere pass aata
hua bola"main to mar chuka hoon,tune to khud sapne me mujhe fansi lagate
hue dekha hai....meri zuban bahar aa gayi thi aur aankhe safed hote hue tune
khud dekha hai...."
usne ek mutthi bhar un dano ko phhir se uthaya aur khate hue bola"bol...bol,
tune dekha hai na mujhe marte hue..."
.
Us waqt meri halat bahut kharab thi, main bezaan sa pada hua use dekh raha
tha, aur yahi dua maang raha tha ki main jald se jald waha se bahar nikal
jaun.....maine hath pair bhi chalaya...lekin koyi fayda nahi hua....mere hath pair
hil tak nahi rahe the....
.
aur meri aankh khul gayi, sapne me maine jor se ek laat deewar par de mari
thi,jiska dard ab bhi mere pair ke ghutno me tha...main uthkar baith gaya aur
sochane laga ki aakhir ye ho kya raha hai...aur jab main normal hua to mujhe
samajh aaya ki main sapne ke andar sapna dekh raha tha...main abhi relax
hone hee laga tha ki hostel me koyi buri tarah se cheekha....aawaz hostel ke
bathroom taraf se hee aayi thi,isliye mera dil phhir se khauf me bhar gaya,
maine ghadi me time dekha...subah ke 9 baj rahe the.....main sapne ki tarah
haqiqat me bhi darte hue bathroom ki taraf badha aur us pure raste main yahi
dua karta raha ki waisa kuch bhi na hua ho,jaisa sapne me maine dekha
tha...lekin hua wahi jo main nahi chahta tha, main to bathroom ke andar nahi
gaya,lekin kuch dosto ne bataya ki Atindra ne bathroom ki chhat me lage hook
se lataka kar apni jaan de di hai....meri dil ki dhadkane us waqt bahut tez ho
chali thi, aur kayi ghanto tak mera wahi haal raha...dosto ne socha ki Atindra ki
maut ke karan main aisa behave kar raha hoon....lekin aisa kuch bhi nahi tha,
Atindra mera koyi khas dost nahi tha aur haal hee ke dino me meri usse ladayi
bhi hui thi....uski body ko utar kar uske ghar bhej diya gaya aur sab aapas me

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baat karne lage ki Atindra ne aisa kyun kiya...uski suicide ke peechhe kya Raaz
tha,ye aaj tak kisi ko pata nahi chala, usne apni jaan kyun di ye aaj tak koyi nahi
jaan paya...na hee uske khas dost us vajah ko dhoondh paye, aur na hee uske
maa-baap ko is baat ki koyi khabar lagi ki unke eklaute bete ne aisa kyun
kiya....aur na hee police kabhi Atindra ke suicide ki vazah jaan payi.....
.
jaise jaise din dhal raha tha,ek ajeeb sa khauff mere andar apna dera zamane
laga tha, main us din bahut dar chuka tha aur chahta tha ki aaj raat hee na
ho....main waha se door bhag jana chahta tha..kahi bhi, duniya ke kisi bhi kone
me...lekin maine aisa kuch bhi nahi kiya...main wahi hostel me ruka...kisi ek ke
chale jaane se kisi ko koyi farak nahi padta, hostel me rahne wale ladko ko bhi
nahi pada...shaam hote tak sab usi rang me laut aaye,jis rang me wo apni
zindagi jeete the...jab shaam ko 7 baje tak kuch nahi hua to main phhir se
thoda relax ho gaya aur socha ki mere us sapne ka talluk bas yahi tak
tha...mere dil ki dhadkane shant hone lagi ,lekin tabhi mere dil ko dhadkano ko
dobara badhate hue mere ek dost ne,jo ki abhi -abhi mess se aaya tha...wo
bola...
"sala aaj ka khana bilkul geela-geela tha, daal chawal ke dane plate me upar
tair rahe the...aur ye mess wale bhikhariyo ko andar kyun aane dete hai..."
itna sunte hee mera muh khula ka khula rah gaya,lekin phhir mere kaleze ko
cheerte hue wo aage bola"ek ladka,jiske baal ladkiyo ki tarah lambe aur geele
the...wo sala zameen ke dano ko bator raha tha...ye mess wale bhikhariyo ko
andar kyun aane dete hai...."
.
uski baad main zinda tha ya mar gaya mujhe kuch nahi maloom, dil ki
dhadkano ki aawaz main saaf sun sakta tha aur maine us pal maine apne bure
khwab ko haqiqat ki kali chadar pahante hue dekha tha....uske do teen din
baad tak meri halat bad se badtar rahi....aksar raato ko meri neend khul jati
thi...aur mujhe lagta ki Atindea darwaze me khada mujhe pukar raha hai...
.
Jaise jaise samay beetata gaya ,sab kuch normal ho gaya ,ab main raat ko
befikar hokar kharrate marta hoon,ab mujhe Atindra ki koyi jhalak tak dikhayi
nahi deti...lekin phhir bhi ek sawal aaj tak is jehan me chubh raha hai ki...kya
Atindea haqiqat me mess me mauzood tha ?
Kya wo lambe lambe balo wala ladka jise mere dost bhikhari kah rahe the,wo

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Atindra tha ?
Kya wo waha mera intezaar kar raha tha ?

**********THE END **********

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