MAR / / 22 / / 6 MONTH!
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO
The Article that
Started it All
FAKE FRENCH
Before Village Weekly was
something that everyone looked
forward to, the writers were just
friends that had inside jokes. One of
which became the first article of
Village Weekly, Fiveton Fake. This
“exposes” BrutalFive as the fake brit
he is, and stands as the longest
running joke of Village Weekly
history. There were hilarious
responses to our first issue, one
notable being a confused Luis who
was sure that Brutal was really
British. The missing person in all this
speculation was Brutal himself. Since
he was at uni he missed the
introduction of VillageCraft’s
premier newspaper! We decided to
check in with Brutal to see how he
felt about being known as the fake
brit of VillageCraft, we started with
asking him how he felt learning that
he was declared a fake brit by Village
Weekly. He responded with “I felt
like a slut” which is classic Brutal.
We then asked if he felt he missed out
on the start of Village Weekly and he
replied with “Is the Pope Catholic?...
no seriously! Is he?!” which leads us
to believe that Brutal is out there
living his best life at uni! We are so
glad that he has always been a good
sport and wish him the best!
Happy 6th month Anniversary!
A REPORTER
Hello Village Weekly Readers! It’s been officially 6 months since we
released that fated 3 page issue! As a thank you we the writers decided
to release a special 6 month anniversary issue for you all! This special
issue will take a look back on some of our most notorious stories
throughout our history and reflect back. Thank you all for supporting us
and laughing through it all with us! Village Weekly loves you all!
Spread throughout in the blue text boxes are some words from some of
our readers!
SarahGolem - Village Weekly always makes
my week!
KoalaBurrito - When
I joined VC I was
surprised by how tight Legend - Village Weekly is a great source of
and friendly this entertainment for all VC players. Not only does
community was, it it keep everyone up to date on important server
events, Village Weekly has interesting
was the thing I didn't
periodicals and encourages reader participation.
know I needed. When
I learned about Village Truly a gift.
Weekly I felt like that
community was even
Gerritt - One time my bitch ex-wife- Sydney-
tighter than I thought,
everyone was making was slandering me on Facebook about how I
sure that people were took "her '' spatula when I was packing up my
smiling and having a stuff in our old house even though I bought it at
good time. Village a yard sale 5 years ago. Well I ripped her a new
Weekly always makes one on our town facebook page, and Village
me smile and look Weekly came to interview me to clear up what
forward to the next had happened. The reporter was very nice, they
week! got my side of the story and not that bitch's and
they didn't even question my tannerite dog!
Thanks to Village Weekly maybe the notorious
B.I.T.C.H will let me see my kids again. Thanks
Village Weekly!
PAGE 1
 MAR / / 22 / / 6 MONTH!
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

THANK YOU FOR 6 MONTHS!

The Firsts of Village Weekly The First Issue!

NO POLL, ONLY LOVE
Many more to come!
FIRST TIMER

There have been a lot of firsts throughout Village Weekly’s 6 month

history, this is a short list of the Village Weekly Firsts and how we feel
about them!

Issue 7 First Art Appreciation! - Art Appreciation has always been

one of our personal favorites of Village Weekly. We have some talented
people out there who play VillageCraft and we love sharing their art
with you all!

Issue 8 Ranking type Articles start! - Seeing as this is a ranking type

article we clearly love them! This format quickly trended well with our
readers and all three of us love to write in this style!

Issue 9 First Advertisement! - Around Issue 9 we realized that players

We Love Loving our
could submit information in the forms of ADS for Village Weekly. This Players!
is a great way to help our readers and it supports local player shops
generally! THE EDITOR

Issue 11 First Joanna Porter Article! - Everyone’s favorite Southern What started as love for Chef evolved
Builder Joanna Porter revolutionized the series writing. Her weekly into loving a player each week!
articles are jam packed with useful building tips while serving up Player of the week was created to
perfect southern charm. We love Joanna Porter and we hope you all do uplift one of the numerous players
too! that make VillageCraft a better place!
It’s hard to choose just one each
Issue 12 First Dad joke of the Week! - After a conversation with week and we love getting a chance to
everyone’s favorite server dad Relevart we came up with the idea to hype up how great people are!
publish a dad joke every week! They’re usually terrible, but that’s part Village Weekly loves you all!
of the charm!

Issue 16 AFK Leaderboard Introduced! - One of Village Weekly’s

more outlandish ventures turned out to be our AFK Leaderboard that
only boasts MysteriousKing’s very easily beatable record atm.
Seriously you could beat him, check out the rules on the website and
bump him to 2nd!
Issue 17 First Confidental Corner submitted! - This was an idea we
had when we first created Village Weekly, that people could submit tips
on the website and we would follow up on it. Issue 17 was when
someone submitted something for the first time and it was a pleasure to
write! So if you want more of them submit tips anonymously on the
website!
Those are our Village Weekly firsts folks! Thanks for all the beginnings
throughout our 6 months, we hope to see more!
Mali - Village Weekly is a great source of
info on what's been happening around the
server. It's good comedy, good news, good
fun, and I think schools should start
implementing it as part of their current events
curriculum. Miss something crazy on the
server? BOOM. Village Weekly's got your
back. Feeling murderous and lazy? BOOM.
Check out the advertisements page, and
maybe you'll find a hitman! Village Weekly
ensures that the hilarious happenings on VC
don't come to a stop, since it is a weekly
source of encouragement for those seeking to
do some silly activities.

PAGE 2
MAR / / 22 / / 6 MONTH!
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

THANK YOU FOR 6 MON

Naomi Removed as CM, What was her impact?

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS

Naomi got removed as the CM, this was generally regarded as a ‘Bad Call’. The law though states that
we must follow it, so for the sake of the greater good we do. Though her time as the CM was cut short,
she made an immense impact on the CM position, one that will probably keep it relevant for a long
time. She revolutionized the idea of a schedule for CM events, by not only stating when events were,
but making it pretty and easy to read. She also planned and executed more regular events than ever
before, instead of an event every school district break, there was a great new thing to do every month,
but that wasn’t enough. Naomi decided to also showcase a village every month, with a full buffet and
minigame every time. Some of her events weren’t crazy new ideas, but just hosting them made a huge
impact in bringing the community together. Naomi is still bringing the CM mentality to staff as a
moderator, and we really like the impact she made :)

Octo as a bucket was one of our most well received photos! Thank you Octo for posing for it!

Allison, a new CM

Allison is the CM now. since her election there could have been 55.2% more murders per day and 356
unreported griefs. EVERYONE IS super happy. no one owns property anymore because she has annexed
most of It for Nurtopia and blown uP the rest. there Are hundreds of teletubbIes ruNning around with large
guns. People are super Lazy EverydAy. SomE of us HatE the oLd Parliament, but the new senate USes our
skills more effectively and allison is doing a great job putting on events. WE hAve had some notable fiRsts
such as thE critic event , where many people Died. most recentlY was the tIriNuvik showcase, conveniently
hosted on st. patricks day. there was Green beer and a fun scavenger hunt for all. we cant wait to see what
events allison and the cm team put on next!

PAGE 3
 MAR / / 22 / / 6 MONTH!
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
THANK YOU FOR 6 MONTHS!

Which of the VC Top Eligible Bachelors are still Available?

MARRIAGE OBSESSED

Sadly in reflecting on the top eligible bachelors of VC most of them are still single! Are they avoiding
marriage or lacking in prospects? We will take a look at all of them again and maybe more will be off
the market by the 1 year issue!

Frogster18 was listed first and he has been noticeably absent, perhaps he is avoiding marriage?

Naomi is still avoiding marriage with claims that there are only like 3 people she would marry, talk
about stingy amiright?

Akomine has avoided one suitor already which makes us think he fears monogamy, will you be the one
to sweep him off his feet?

Tenretni is also avoiding marriage like the plague, so will you be the lucky one that gives this tinman a
heart?

BrutalFive is a stingy fake brit. He has gotten one proposal that he has yet to follow through with so
me thinks he has gotten cold feet.

5Henrik is still a gem, why has nobody swept him off the market? He hasn’t been as active with
school, but when you see him just propose marriage already, he is worth it.

Thankfully ShadowGirlEmzy has gotten hitched! We have someone that saw the value in our list and
got the best wifey possible! Congratulations Emily and MysteriousKing!

Hobbes is still single and hasn’t made any effort to get married. If you love animals then Hobbes is the
man for you!

Airbongus has also delightfully avoided marriage, though he seems to be loudly in love with Braden so
maybe he’ll be a homewrecker. Stay tuned in the next few months for that.

Lastly we have Gerritt, who has not only been married once but twice! Both for “business reasons” but
regardless that’s an eligible bachelor off the market!

Stay tuned for the next top 10 eligible bachelors that are announced, since this batch seems to be firmly
anti marriage!
Sir_Robot - Village weekly is another fun
and enjoyable way for players to interact with
the server
Luis - Village Weekly is an amazing part of
the community! It keeps everyone up to date
with what's what, and never fails to brighten
up my Thursdays :D
Akomine - Village Weekly gives us all hope
and faith that there is finally some
irrefutable fact-based reporting of the very
most important issues and events VC has.
Village Weekly tied me up, threw me in the
trunk of a '93 Accord, and dumped me in
Qualia landfill. 11/10 Would read again
Dipjack - Village Weekly is cool

Bravo - y'all started during my last semester

before graduating while I was doing long FroggyBee - VillageCraft is my getaway
distance with losh and most of my friends had world, and Village Weekly really does
graduated. So y'all gave me something to look represent how inclusive and friendly everyone
forward to every week ya know. is :)

PAGE 4
MAR / / 22 / / 6 MONTH!
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
THANK YOU FOR 6 MONTHS!

What happened with Braden Vs Qualia??

RIOTOR SUPREME

Soon after the writing of this story, Braden realized that the most likely culprit to the changes Qualia
had made to his castle had been okayed by the Omniscient Luis. He then asked that all charges be
dropped, and further investigation against the monstrous City of Qualia be stopped immediately. The
Castle still stands, with the metro station sign still naming the area as ‘Castle Ruins’. Braden has been
unavailable for comment on this or any other story since, causing a great sense of worry among
community members. There are even skeleton horses roaming the grounds, most likely to give visitors
the illusion of ruins in a castle still heavily used by Braden. Maybe someday he will finally be able to
speak up against the government of Qualia and take back the titles and lands that were once his.

Is the VC Drug Epidemic Solved?

DRUGS ARE BAD

The first mention of the VC Drug Epidemic was in week two of our Corruption Corner series. Since
then Village Weekly has tackled the reporting on the complete lack of attention the staffers have given
to the Drug Epidemic. The question on everyone’s minds all these months later is “What is happening
with the VC Drug Epidemic?” With the implementation of overdosing to the drugs on VC a lot of long
term drug users have been able to quit in order to save their lives. Unfortunately not everyone has taken
this approach. VillageCrafters are still dying to the drugs that are sold so willingly in the streets of
notable towns. The creation of a Rehab Facility may help those suffering from addiction, but I have a
feeling that there will always be a drug problem amongst players. Staff still stands back and refuses to
act on these violent drug using incidents. Village Weekly hopes for a solution to this long term
problem, though we will keep reporting on it until it ends.

A look at the War on the Gods

DIPJACK’S FOE

Village Weekly was given plenty of content when the Australians hit the scene in December. Dipjack
our resident Mad lad was proud of the chaos he created so it made reporting it all very fun and carefree.
One of the running news stories that stemmed from the Australian activity was the War on the Gods.
Dipjack declared that all staff members were Gods, and in order to keep VillageCraft safe all the gods
have to be murdered. A lot of the staff members chuckled at this and Cyphur was the most inventive in
creating ways to thwart the Australians attempts at murder. Nurtul was unfortunately the first god to
fall when Dipjack murdered him. As school has started up, players are busy focusing on their studies
and the War on the Gods has settled. As we reflect on Village Weekly as a whole, the Australian
influence has been great, with the War on the Gods being covered throughout. With it quelled at the
moment there is no doubt in this reporter's mind that we will hear more reports about attempted staff
killings and perhaps even some successes. Or maybe it is truly over and Staff and players can live and
play in peace.

PAGE 5
 MAR / / 22 / / 6 MONTH!
THANK YOU FOR 6 MONTHS!
Looking back at 6 months of Village Weekly:
FROM US TO YOU!
Nurtul: I still remember when we
came up with the idea for Village
Weekly. It was just another night
chatting about whatever in the
Discord, and we decided the server
needed a tabloid. Somehow we
had an issue in the next day or 2, a
whole 3 pages! I really never
thought we would evolve to
reporting actual events happening
on the server, and really never
thought I would be writing about it
6 months later. I am tremendously
happy with everything Village
Weekly has accomplished so far,
and I hope we can continue to
grow and improve with support
from viewers like you, Thank
You!
*Disclaimer
Village Weekly is a news source
dedicated to exploring the intricate
stories of VillageCraft. If you or a
loved one wishes to be excluded from
this narrative please inform our
reporters as such. Village Weekly staff
uses all the information available to
them at the time of publishing to form
the best stories possible.
Our First and Always
Disclaimer!
One of our reviews!
Naomi: I have always been what
teachers said a “Bad” writer so
editing Village Weekly seemed
like the obvious choice in the
beginning. Since then I have
grown to writing multiple articles a
week and love every minute of it! I
never saw myself as a writer, but
every week I enjoy my Wednesday
morning story writing. I also began
to see a change in my overall
mood in regards to writing, instead
of dreading it I began to see
different angles and ways to
present a story. I have always
loved talking and Village Weekly
has become my voice in the midst
of all the chaos of life. Whenever
players talk about how much they
loved certain segments it makes
me so proud to be a part of
something that brightens
everyone’s week. I never thought
that late night laughing about
headlines would become a weekly
laugh session as we put together
the issue for the week. I value
Village Weekly as a creative
outlet, but I value how it’s
connected the VillageCraft
community overall even more.
Thank you all so much for reading
each week and being such strong
supporters of our writing! <3
Corrupted Page Teasing the End of Life!
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
Alli: I don't know what made me
so inspired and excited about V.W.
but I had so much fun writing the
first one that it felt natural to
continue it! I was shocked when
Namoi told me it was the 6 month
anniversary, Oh how time flies! I
really enjoy coming up with the off
the wall stories, and stretching my
creative writing skills. Seeing
everyone’s reactions to the
different stories make me so happy,
it’s exciting to be a part of
something that pulls the
community together. I look
forward to Thursdays with delight,
and it seems I'm not the only
one. I'm excited to see the
directions we take in the future,
thank you all for your support and
for taking part in it all! After all,
there wouldn't be a Village Weekly
without you guys ❤.
PAGE 6