DEC / / 3 / / 7

VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

Mali the Innocent or Beloved CM Has An

Mali the Hacker
THE US CIA
Attitude Problem?
THE NAZI PARTY
“You haven’t seen
One peaceful evening on VillageCraft attitude boi” she
It’s come to our attention that beloved became not so peaceful when Player threatened and we here
player Mali is not quite the saint she seems AbysmalSimp joined the game. Simp at Village Weekly
to be. An anonymous source revealed to us is well known for his flirtatious style quiver in fear at a step
that Mali has been hacking A.I. Ten and is frequently seen receiving up in her aggression.
regularly. No one is quite sure what massages from players and staff alike. That was the end of the
nefarious business she had inside the Upon joining he was immediately discussion until a few
server’s A.I. but we suspect it has accosted by Naomi’s friendly mins later Simp told
something to do with the “Not-A” tag that greetings, and he responded by telling Naomi “Your body is a
has mysteriously appeared before her name. her “Leave me alone”. She told him wonderland and I’m
It is unsure if it’s a shoddy disguise or some No, so he asked player Dj what he tryna be Alice” Naomi
other unknown and cryptic meaning but one thought of the server’s CM. Dj told made a face and he then
thing we do know, is that we will be getting him that he thought she was awesome, said “If loving me is
to the bottom of this. adding “if she don’t like ya you’re wrong you don’t wanna
screwed.” This comment may seem be right”. Is this that
comical, but it might give some same contradictory
credibility to Simp’s argument since courting seen in high
it’s proof of Naomi’s dark side. Simp school or have the
countered Dj with “I’ve begun to antagonistic pair begun
deduce that her kindness is out of spite seeing each other in a
and hate.” Naomi responded that she different light? A
hated nobody (except for nobody source claims Naomi
because “he’s a dick”). She asked said she would never
what made him think that and he said get married but this
she was hyper aggressive. “I’m an could be the end of an
Aries duh” was her defense. “I’m era for our single (in
muslim but it doesn’t justify shitty minecraft!) and ready
behavior” he claimed (is saying hi to to mingle CM.
everyone shitty behavior?) and she
shot back that excessive eagerness is
not shitty.

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 DEC / / 3 / / 2
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CHECK THIS OUT!

Issue 3 Poll Recap
Shadow Completes Achievement of the NUMBER CRUNCHER

Century
TT THE REPORTER
While Issue 6 had the most
contentious poll seen in a while, it
Last week longtime player Shadow completed his long-term project, a huge maze had less responses than we are used
that has yet to truly be run through fully front to back. TT the Reporter was able to to seeing, so be sure to keep voting
catch up with Shadow this week to pick the brain of the genius behind this project. every week at
https://villageweekly.weebly.com.
TT: When did you start work on the Labyrinth project?
The question asked was “Why
Shadow: Ummm I’m not sure maybe 2015. It’s too for back for /lb tb. Maybe the Didn’t you attend the Thanksgiving
region info says. CM event?” and the most
responded answer was ‘Other’ with
TT: Certainly a lengthy endeavor, What does the Labyrinth consist of?
the response ‘I was there’. While
S: Stone and cobblestone and netherrack and glass and glowstone and ladders and the small poll responses allow this
chests and dirt and water and prismarine and wood and nether bricks and anvils to be responsible, there are clearly
and terra cotta and coral and zombies and cats and villagers and skeletons and many people dodging the question
horses and skeleton horses and even more skeleton horses and red stone and because they are ashamed of
pistons and levers and buttons and some other things.
themselves for missing such an
TT: How big is it truly? incredible CM event. This week's
poll asks “What are your thoughts
S: 3 maps worth. 4 layers.
on Shadows Labyrinth ?” Be sure
TT: Do you think it is feasible for the average joe to complete the labyrinth in one to answer it at
piece? https://villageweekly.weebly.com
S: Sure, I don’t think brains are much of an advantage other than recognizing 5Henrik aka Helpful
where you have been. The maze was designed to confuse the most intelligent of Lad
players. The limiting factor here is time. Eventually you will bumble out the exit.
Suitable for any average joe or even the average Aimee.
THE EDITOR
TT: How did you feel when you finally completed your Minecraft immeasurable
accomplishment? 5Henrik is a player on often, and is
always working hard at something.
S: Underwhelmed. I’ve had a lot of time to prepare for the occasion and I’ve He is a skilled builder, and fantastic
“finished” many iterations of the maze many times. It feels ever growing.
worker. He is helpful on many
TT: Much like a real labyrinth, what are some future Minecraft goals and projects occasions if anyone ever needs help.
you have in the works? 5Henrik often has great things to say
and just simply enjoys the game. If
S: Oh I’m not sure. I wanted to start a subscription fish service for aquarium you see 5Henrik around make sure
fanatics but it seems that the server limits the amount fish spawned for latency and give him some Cheer! Village
reasons. Currently I am sacrificing whatever my god demands to grow its power. Weekly Loves you!
TT: Fascinating, I feel like that could be a whole article on it's own, Is there
anything you’d like to say to our readers about your incredible build?

S: The last block to be placed in the maze was a diamond block to commemorate
the occasion. Before the maze was built plans were made for a victor’s village on
site. If person or team of persons completes the maze while officiated they will get
the rights to build on a plot. If all the plots are distributed, rights will be revoked
and given to those with the fastest times.
Also the god of the Labyrinth, Minotaur, is worth worshipping.

Shadow has put a lot of time and heart into his maze and if you want to check it
out for yourself, and even try your hand at the labyrinth you can /warp maze to get
there. The huge maze run Event will be held in January, but you can practice
before then. Keep creating these epic builds Shadow!
Shadow’s Maze

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DEC / / 3 / / 2
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CURRENT EVENTS:

Christmas Build Comp

HOLIDAY CHEER

VillageCraft is kicking off December with a *If you want to run an Ad

BUILD COMP! The theme for this Build Comp is Contact our Reporters for info!
Winter Holiday! So, get some Christmas Cheer,
brush off that Menorah, and get inspired by what #AD
that random Christmas song claims is the most TheodoreGreen is looking to rekindle
wonderful time of year!
village politics on the server. We are
In this build comp you will create something
recruiting independent villages to the
Holiday oriented, use your creativity with the
season! You can start building on your plot on Confederation of Syndicated Villages.
December 6 @ 12am EST and can sign up until it Looking for community leaders, builders,
ends if you decide late you want to join. and people who want to RP nation
You will have one week until December 13 @ politics like how it was before on the
12am EST to complete your Winter Holiday server.
themed plot. Judging will begin December 13 and
both judged vote and Popular Vote will end If you are interested PM
December 19! TheoGreen#2997
The prizes will be $150K for the popular vote and
$200k for the judged vote. The judged vote winner
will also receive a special build comp winner Tag!
Sign up by talking to Naomi!

UHC 8 Victory!

An up and coming new member reigned supreme in this UHC, AbysmalSimp took home the crown! With
more face offs then the UHC earlier in November, this UHC boiled down to Sky, Gerritt, and Simp in the
final showdown at the Spawn. Simp had the advancement having great luck finding diamonds and was fully
“iced” out for the showdown. In a lengthy fight with the 3 competitors giving their all it was a close fight
when Sky was taken out. Gerritt and Simp having the same amount of hearts evened the playing field that
Simp eventually triumphed in when he dropped lava on Gerritt, ensuring his win. All the competitors said
they had a glorious time, and we can’t wait for the next UHC. This event was action packed in the end and
showed the skill of all the competitors involved. So, when you see Simp offer him your congratulations! And
then challenge him to duel to see his skills once and for all.

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DEC / / 3 / / 2
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
MARRIAGE
Leila’s Obituary
CD and Octo Admitting their Love
WEDDING WATCHER SADNESS

Notorious Partners in Farms CDPIV and OctoGamer decided to get

hitched on Sunday Evening, "for the benefits." In attendance only
Gerrit70 and Naomi who married them since they decided against a huge Village Weekly is devastated
event with all their close friends. The wedding was held at OctoGamers to report the tragic death of
extravagant base, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, and Naomi's Minecraft dog Leila.
was truly a show of the wealth that these two possess. They stood on Leila was horrifically
diamond blocks during the ceremony which is very on brand for these 2 massacred by a zombie on
who rank 3 and 7 on baltop 1. Their wealth didn’t go unnoticed amongst Thanksgiving. Leila was more
the two with CD saying, “hey since octo and I are married, does that mean than a dog, she was comedic
i'm also super rich? :D” and Octo remarking, “yup we got 80m networth.” relief, a fierce protector, and
This marriage takes 2 of the richest eligible bachelors on VC off the overall a dear companion.
market, so marrying rich is getting to be harder and harder for the average Leila loved chasing down
gold digger. A union described by Octo himself as " just 2 straight dudes Skeletons and climbing all over
getting married, nothing gay about it" there was great excitement amongst whatever Naomi was building.
our grooms to officially tie each other down. CD described his new She may have never gotten to
marriage partner as this "I'm glad I don't have to pvp him" which is a see Naomi's Lakeside Manor
slightly unsettling sentiment to whom he's committed his life to. Will this complete, but she was front
be a union to withstand the test of time? Or will they face hardship after and center for most of its
their honeymoon stage that ends not only their marriage, but their construction. For that reason, it
friendship. We here at Village Weekly say Congratulations to the is dedicated in her honor. Leila
Newlyweds! joins her chicken brother
Connor in heaven and is
survived by her mother Naomi
and cat sibling Loma. Leila
will be missed considerably,
and her gravesite can be
viewed on the hillside behind
Naomi's Lakeside Manor in
Tilgangur. Rest in Peace Leila,
you will be missed.

TheoGreen Confused
DEAR ABBY’S HOTTER SIS

This week it was discovered that player TheodoreGreen has little knowledge in terms of how
storks bring babies. “How do you get villagers to breed?” He asked the server as if he too
wasn’t a villager. Imagine walking up to a person and asking them how to get humans to
breed. Luckily for TheoGreen we here at Village Weekly will be happy to enlighten both you
and any other dear reader that needs some guidance. Now you see, when a man loves a villager
very much, he will begin courting her by building lots of beds so the female may choose her
nest. Then begins the bringing of food, to ensure the pair’s survival and to help bring the
female into heat. At this point the acts get a little R rated so if you're a child I suggest you stop
reading. Seriously go get your parents’ permission. Anyways so they hold hands and then a
baby spawns and they all go on about their business. We hope that cleared things up for you
and Village Weekly is happy to answer any future questions you have.

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DEC / / 3 / / 2
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

Gerritt Shows His True Light

PETER

Regular fireworks launcher Gerritt was recently quoted expressing his hatred for the fabulous water-topped
lighthouse on the coastline of Tilgangur. How could such a peaceful boy suddenly be filled with such strong
hatred? It's possible Gerritt was hurt by a mean bully lighthouse in his days as a sailor, and now he holds a
secret hatred for tall lights near coastlines. After saying this, Gerritt went back to his usual friendly self, so it is
still unknown what the cause of this anger is. We only hope he can continue to be peaceful and avoid retaliation
from the proud owners of Tilgangur.

Art Appreciation
ART CHASERS

Village Weekly is well known to love all players, but that also includes the incredible art they create! So, for the
month of December, three writers will be giving their opinion on the art created by you the readers! Just submit
your piece in a new section on the website, or pm it to one of our reporters!

Our First piece was completed by Mali in 2019 and was drawn using a Wacom tablet on her laptop using
FireAlpaca. It showcases some of the staff at the time of its completion. The inspiration behind it was showing
appreciation for all the hard work Staff does on VC. The eventual goal is for Mali to complete portraits in this
style of all the staff members.

Review 1: So adorable, I love that each one has a unique movement to it 15/10
Review 2: This is not just a great piece of art; it was done with care to the subjects. Each person not only has
their skin highlighted to perfection, but it pulls their personalities to front. It truly feels like you’re looking at
the people the art is inspired by, and that is what makes it incredible.
Review 3: Seeing this art in discord the other day totally made my day. The characters are so well done. Mali
really does an amazing job taking these players unique skins and melding them with Mails style.

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