AUG / / 26 / / ISSUE 45
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO
Brutal Found
WOODY ALLEN
Woah! Classic Snake BrutalFive has
been located! Apparently, he's been
hiding in a snake pit in Las Vagas
this whole time! For those who don't
know this area is in the giant empire
that is Fiveton in it's capital state of
Quartzania. Brutal has been missing
for quite some time around the
server but you can now often find
him in Las Vagas improving the
city. If you see him give him a big
Howdy Partner.
Naomi New Zoo Attraction
JOE EXOTIC
Exciting update from the Tilgangur Zoo this week, when the zoo
announced its newest exhibit to the public. Rumors of new enclosures
being constructed circulated the server for weeks before it was
confirmed the zoo will be adding axolotls, Goats, and a Naomi! While it
is unsure where this Naomi was sourced from, and whether it is captive
bred or wild caught we do know that the community is excited to see
such an uncommon species up close. When this exhibit will open to the
public is yet unknown but it’s sure to draw lots of government funding to
the Zoo’s research programs! Make sure to buy an annual pass so you
can catch a glimpse of this rare beauty!
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VILLAGE
WEEKLY

ASK!
Namoi Thought
Ask Alli I had my last first day yesterday of
A trip to the wild side, by VC’s wildest school. Come December I will be
out in the world and no longer a
player! student. I am excited at that
prospect but fear my class load
ALLI will be too great and I’ll fail. But I
haven’t failed a class yet and my
Yall are bad at asking questions, some days it feels like i'm writing last semester isn’t the time to start.
into the void. It's a fascinating feeling, because I'm writing to an I will crush this and graduate.
audience that I feel may not exist. Anyways I dug up a time capsule
and found a question inside. The question for this week is: “How do THE RUMOR MILL
frogs survive the winter?” which is an interesting one for sure! So for yo yo yo its your favorite gossip
the sake of time I will focus on American species since it's what I’m column back at you with the
most familiar with, and I will be breaking it down into three sweetest deets! this week’s rumor
categories: terrestrial, aquatic, and oddballs! Terrestrial frogs and is certainly a strange one, but we
toads typically burrow underground past the permafrost layer in order are all grasping at straws
to not freeze to death. Aquatic frogs do a similar thing but by considering we only got one (1)
burrowing into the muddy bottom of lakes and rivers. Both types slow @reporter this week.
their metabolism and heartbeat so as not to starve. The oddballs are magnoliasweet aka theogreen aka
quite fascinating, and the frog we will focus on for this is the Wood green has confused the server with
Frog (Rana sylvatica)! Wood Frogs are one of the few amphibians that repeated and unexplained
can survive in Alaska and Canada and are strange little creatures. comments in the cheese channel.
Rather than burrow and hibernate, they freeze themselves! For those he has said nothing in the chat this
of you who are familiar with the problems related to freezing and week aside from periodic
reanimating know that the struggle is keeping the cells from bursting comments of “toxic” with zero
as water expands when frozen and cells contain water! How do wood explanation of what that means. is
frogs avoid turning into slushies come spring? Well they inject their he accusing a specific player of
cells with their own pee! The urine acts like antifreeze and allows being toxic? probably not since the
them to freeze 60% of their mass solid! Then come spring they just statement is not posted after the
pee it all out! Of course there's a little more science behind it than that same player speaking. is he calling
but the general idea is Pee Is Stored In The Frog! the server toxic? well he's not
wrong but it's so out of context
that it's more confusing than
anything else. is he just spamming
chat? at this point this seems to be
the case since he refuses to
elaborate further. if anyone has
any clues or thinks they know
what he is referring to please pm a
reporter today!

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AUG / / 26 / / ISSUE 45
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

BENCH!

Benches Of Tilgangur
GRAINY PLANKER

The long-awaited sequel to

Lousiapaula! Ajlieb the bench was
recently spotted chilling across the
plaza. Ajlieb was built in 1235 by
the original bench builder Olga. Olga
built Ajlieb one hot day before they
had months so that she could sit
down after a long day of working the
rice fields.

Naomi Strip Club Hijinks

Sick Dancer
Naomi on the LOOSE. Naomi was seen multiple times checking out the local VillageCraft strip club
scene after claiming to have 'no interest in that stuff, personally'. There was a relatively boring
conversation happening the night of August 1st before Naomi was heard yelling 'I just want to go to
the STRIP CLUB'. Later that night, a few of our daring reporters managed to clip a picture of her
dancing on stage during their monthly night off. Later that night, 48 of the 50 dancers were found
unaliven via thorns armor; luckily for her, Naomi made it out safely with all of her belongings. Some
might say this seems unlike Naomi, but her own bestest friend Nurtul had this to say about the
incident, "some people bring bills, Naomi brings kills." Be sure to keep your children safe from
Naomi's strip club antics as she wanders to villages near you.

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AUG / / 26 / / ISSUE 45
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

WOAH!

Reporter’s Passions
JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMMER SMITH DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA

Reporter’s Passions

In life you have things that you are passionate about, whether that be your beliefs, your family, or interests
they are very important to you. We have asked our reporters and a few other VillageCraft players to list the 5
things they’re most interested in at this moment. We hope you all enjoy reading this as much as it was to
think about.
Naomi
1. Lighthouses! They are beacons of light protecting others from the dangerous land around them.
Majestic and Beautiful, Lighthouses are probably my favorite thing and I have multiple I wish to visit.
They're inspiring and they inspire two of my great loves, travel and photography.
2. Trains! This is a new passion for me as I have been scared of them for years! That fear has been
overtaken and I've grown to love engines, especially steam locomotives. Check out the Norfolk Western
611 engine for a beauty.
3. Dogs! Ever since I was little, I have always loved dogs and learned a lot about different breeds and
behaviors. As an adult I now have around 6-8 different dog sitting clients and I love getting to watch
and take care of these precious puppies without having to pay for them.
4. Motorcycles! I absolutely love motorcycles and find them to be an incredible blend of automotive bliss.
Every time I hear the roar of a motorcycle my heart gets all jazzed. Riding them is a truly incredible
experience and as a good friend once described it to me "you feel free"
5. Travel! I am obsessed with traveling to new places and experiencing new things. Testing my
navigation skills is always fun and I love getting to explore the history of an area.
Nurtul
1. Soup
2. Guns
3. Building things
4. Bass Guitar

Alli
1. Animals- I love em, ask Alli
2. Art- I do it
3. Nature- it pretty
4. Dead stuff- animals are just as cool dead, bones and fur drive me wild
5. Friends- I have very few but they are incredibly precious to me

Robot
1. Animals
2. Player Builds (because I love what people can build)
3. Digital Art
4. Helping Friends
5. Fixing PCs and Phones

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AUG / / 26 / / ISSUE 45
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
Vanilla
1. True Crime Stories
2. Being Nice to People
3. My New Job!
4. Nature
5. Theories
Luis
1. Science. In the past few hundred years we've done so much, from things like vaccines and planes and
electricity, changing everything, but every day we're discovering new things. Compared to what we
know now, there's so much more we don't know. And possibly many times more things that we don't
know we don't know. There's so many branches of science, with so much to discover, how can anyone
not be interested in it?
2. Space. There's so much out there, expanding away from us every second. Billions, maybe even trillions,
of galaxies we can see now, are impossible for us to ever visit. But within our own neighbourhood
there's more than we could need. Earth won't last forever, one day an asteroid or a gamma ray burst or
something could hit us, and if they're big enough they could wipe us out. There's a lot that needs fixing
in our own lives on Earth, but a very long-term thinking might want to consider spreading out, setting
up self-sustaining life on other worlds. Even closer to home there's a lot space can do for us. I
personally am involved in a team looking at the biomedical effects space can have, and how they can be
exploited on Earth for our benefit, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
3. Travel. I've not been able to go anywhere given the past 2 years, but I do enjoy travelling when I can.
One of my life goals is to visit every country at least once, which has quite a high likelihood of not
happening. There is so much to see and do everywhere, so many people to experience their lives, so
many places with their own history. I was in Rome just as the pandemic was about to start, and to sit in
a cafe next to a 2000 year old building just blew my mind. So much happens outside our own
neighbourhood, the least I can do is try to experience as much as I can in the few decades we're here.

KB
1. Marvel
2. Photography/Art
3. Plants and Crystals
4. LPs and Vinyls (and music in general)
5. Writing (poems and journals)

Nurtul Tweets

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