AUGUST / / 5 / / ISSUE 42

VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

Nurtul Reportedly
Thirsty
KB Hair Color Caper
JUSTIN DANEWS
SHANIA TWANG
It seems that Alli's absence on the
server is beginning to get to It was August 2nd, 2021 and well known player KB announced that
Nurtul, this week he was seen she had dyed her hair again! Multiple players asked what color in deep
heavily chugging water bottles on interest and yet the young Burrito just went about her best life (or
top of a campfire roof. Maybe he maybe slept, those Europeans do that). Hours went by; at one point we
should not stand on flames then he dispatched Namoi on the grounds to see what had happened to no
wouldn't be having to down so avail. Finally, KB announced the gorgeous color she chose. "im a
much water! He also seems to be brunette" KB answered and attached a lovely photo for proof. At long
psychic as he screamed NO before last the many questions were answered and the server could rest easy.
Naomi @reportered. If he can see
the future, why didn't he warn Air
that Ako was going to kidnap
him?? Why didn't he warn his wife
Alli that she was going to be voted
out as CM?? This reporter sees
some flaws in this system, and we
just hope Nurtul hugs his wife and
stops being so dang thirsty.

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 AUGUST / / 5 / / ISSUE 42
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

ASK!
Poll Recap
Ask Alli POLE OROID
A trip to the wild side, by VC’s wildest player!
Hello I am here with more poll. This
ALLI poll asked “Do you Prefer Large or
Small Dogs?” and the results are in
This week the query was: "Are shrimp hearts actually located in their currently at this time. I'm not even
heads?" And the answer is No! First, we have to take a look at shrimp going to try to build this result up
anatomy to determine where the head truly ends. If you feast your eyes only 1 person voted for small dog.
on the diagram I have provided, you can see that the heart is located on The website page isn't even going to
the dorsal side on a shrimp, but it's behind the stomach, which is behind have a graph this week because that
the eyes of the shrimp. Shrimp have what is referred to as a would be a waste of the hundreds of
"Cephalothorax" or a head-body, and all of the organs are housed there. dollars we spend to hire professional
So, from a general standpoint you could say that the heart is on the graph makers. One person filled in
head, but truly from an anatomy standpoint it is a technical no! Also that they like medium dogs, and that
,shrimp contain cancer fighting minerals so make sure to eat lots of is a fair and reasonable answer.
shrimp, and remember to Ask Alli! Until next week friends! Another person wants a dog so big
that they become the pet, and I think
that is strange and should be
discouraged. The new poll asks “”
vote now at
https://villageweekly.weebly.com

A Tale of Namoi
NAMOI

This week I have been pet sitting in a

secluded cabin on the side of a
mountain with no internet. As
someone who uses the internet a lot
this was a bit of a shock and slight
panic as I realized what I had gotten
myself into. This unplug week has
actually been very relaxing and yet
kind of isolating at the same time.
Watching the sunset on the porch
with a glass of wine really put me in
an introspective mood. I could do
anything I put my mind to.
Meanwhile once it became pitch
black and I could only hear my
thoughts I was quite inventive on
how terrible I truly am! Mental
Health amiright? While this wasn’t a
true unplug since I have my phone
and a slight hotspot, it has been nice.

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AUGUST / / 5 / / ISSUE 42
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CURRENT EVENTS:

Big Building Buisness Pt 2

ROBERTO MCLEAON

The Build Comp continues, with only a few more days to go! IDK about y’all, but we here at VW are
really enjoying the team build! It’s a nice change of pace and collaboration always sparks something
exciting! Its not too late to join in (although you’d better hurry up!) on all the fun! /warp cm-
buildcomp-ta to come check out all the cool builds!

New Senate
Announced
This week j./
the new senate members
were announced to be KoalaBurrito,
Luis, Daypath, Naomi, and Ako!
Congrats to the new and not so new
Senators, we’re sure your gonna rock!
Akomine was elected Speaker of the
Senate and we’ll see if he runs the
senate as great as he runs the server!
With both creators, Ako and Luis,
being elected there were many calls to
Cheating but there was no evidence to
support this. We hope to see many
laws passed in the 3rd Senate of
VillageCraft!

Rumor Mill Special Edition!

O.M.G yall they let me out of my dark dank prison to write a semi-important article!
How exciting! This week more civil unrest refused to rest in the #parliament channel,
and I'm here to tell you about it. Staff as usual are squares (fuck the police(staff)) and
some people took to the keyboard to debate on staff reform. Many intriguing views
and useful points were made but no one wants growth, just dirt so here it is! Alli
(keeper of me, holder of the key that keeps me locked and shackled in the dirty
basement) created a Google forms to get an idea of staff approval ratings! If you
haven't answered it yet, you can find it here:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfRdT-
u_eN_QisQtIDVebIOSkgctWlZi8m0BIi7Ptx0DNQ8hw/viewform?usp=sf_link
Results will be published next Thursday, so please use your voice and click a box on
a computer! Keep in mind this isn't for popularity, it's for how you feel about
someone as a staff member. Try to consider what they bring to the staff team and not
whether you like them or not. Now I must get back to my hovel before Alli decides
to eat my fingers like carrots so remember to submit any rumors you make up or
hear, and I'll see yall next week!
Xoxo Gossip Person
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 AUGUST / / 5 / / ISSUE 42
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
BENCH!

Benches Of Tilgangur
GRAINY PLANKER

We back. The bench team took a short break to meditate and figure out what really matters to us, and
for the 3rd time we have decided to commit our lives to telling readers like you about the wondrous
benches around the city of Tilgangur. Quintavious the Bench is the first bench to be built near a pawn
shop. He enjoys sniffing cigarette smoke and watching people buy meth. Quintavious has a wonderful
view of an up-and-coming street currently filled with empty lots and late night drag racers. Be sure to
go sit on Quintavious next time you want to put drugs in your body.

Naomi Jaded?

Naomi tried to play minecraft on an interactive community server. She

was soon dismayed by no interactivity. She left the server and hasn’t
been seen since. Did the deafening silence scare Naomi away forever?
If we ever see Naomi again, you need to make sure to say hello and
celebrate her presence on our server sometimes filled with other people. Air Appreciation
Do you know Air? The player of greatness not the
literally air we breathe. Well he was seen "voting" for
the VillageCraft server and wow what a great thing he
did! On top of being a constant joy whenever he is seen,
he made time to "help" the server. What a guy! He is the
absolute best and you should send him air mail of
appreciation for all his hard work!
(We received notice that those tips are Random and not
Air actually voting, but dang appreciate him regardless!)

A Tweet By Nurtul:

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AUGUST / / 5 / / ISSUE 42
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CATS

Demetrius

Ghost

Marko

Gizmo
Dracula PAGE 5