9 / / 16 / / ISSUE 48
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO
Number Of Scoops:
11
JOHN RISINGER
11 scoops is alot. Village weekly
has 11 seccops this week. You
should be doing things because back
in my day, we had 18 scoops every
DAY. If everyone just pinged
@repoertr all the time it would be
really confusing but we would have
aalot more garbage content to write
about. All the content now is so
targeted and curated yall are boring
me. Go throw a pie at Cyphur in real
life or something you hobbits.
Admin Ignores Player’s
Requests
MARSHA TURDBURGALAR
As to be expected, the Akomine was ignoring players the other day when
he graced everyone with his joyful presence on the server. Taco, who is
now Not Staff, was attempting to get the admin to turn on fire spread
with impressive hashtags such as #TurnOnFireTick #TurnOnFireSpread
#WeWantFIREEEE & #firreee. These hashtags were all ignored as
Dallas, Ako, and Luis discussed the beauty of the status of deity that
Luis is. While this is also a very worthy topic of conversation, we feel
sad that the impassioned Taco was left ignored. A simple “No turning on
fire spread, it’s dangerous to the years of work on VillageCraft '' would
have sufficed, yet this was left unsaid. If you want to join the
#FireSpread Gang, contact Taco for meeting information. Hopefully you
all will have luck prying Ako from his true desire and that is hyping up
the ever-incredible Luis.
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 9 / / 16 / / ISSUE 48
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

ASK!
Pole recap
Ask Alli ROLLY POLLY
A trip to the wild side, by VC’s wildest
There will be a POLE on the
player! Website at some point. Our poll
gremlins are on strike. Oops I’m
ALLI supposed to say they’re on
vacation. Any who life is busy and
Today I'm gonna talk about Red wolves because I feel like it and no the gremlins aren’t here so the poll
one sent me a question. Anyways, back before white people ruined results will be on the website with
everything (colonization) the red wolves were one of the apex the new poll so check it out! And
predators in the southeast. These wolves were smaller and slender be on a look out in the discord as
compared to their grey cousins and could even climb trees! In the we will tell you when that
1900s destroying apex predators was in style, colonizers wanted more information is posted. Probably.
land and less competition. They were hunted to near extinction, even https://villageweekly.weebly.com
being declared extinct in the 1980s. A small population had survived
in captivity and were later released in an attempt to bring back the Waffles is
wolves. As of 2021 nine wolves remain, and their species' outlook is
bleak. Just like the issues the west faced when grey wolves were being Enthusiastic!
killed, a predatory niche opened up and the balance of nature was THE EDITOR
upset. In swooped the coyote, another slender canine that effectively
filled the niche left by the red wolves. Coyotes and the few red wolves Newer player Waffles is a very
that were left began to hybridize, simultaneously polluting the gene friendly and helpful around
pool and preserving red wolf genes. While losing the red wolves is a VillageCraft these days! Their
tragedy, I for one am happy to know some part of them lives on in the enthusiasm is infectious and we
coywolves they've created. can’t help but smile when they
greet us when they get on! Always
looking to help, Waffles can
usually be found helping someone
on the server with something. This
kind of behavior is enriching to the
community and is amazing to see
from someone new and exciting.
We hope Waffles stays around and
keeps making the server a better
place with their great zest for life!
Village Weekly love you Waffles!

Nurtul Is the Beginning And End

Nurtul is super cool. They logged on to the
server first after a server restart. It's really
cool to be the first person to log onto the
server after restart and Nurtul is really
awesomely cool for doing so. I'm not totally
sure how the last thing really applies because
many other people played before the server
restarted and Nurtul left soon after this real
photo was taken so idk. Nurtul is really cool
and you should remember that just in case it
comes up in a poll coming soon to
willageweekly.wewbly.com or whatever.
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9 / / 16 / / ISSUE 48
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CURRENT EVENTS:

Incredible Slenderman Events!

SUPER STOAKED EVENT ATTENDER

This past week our amazing CM Dallas hosted a 2 part of a Slenderman Event that Legend and
Cyphur helped build. The first event was great fun and helped the team work out a lot of the kinks
in the gameplay before Thursday’s big official event. The Thursday event was quite popular and
everyone who attended had a great time! It’s so great that we have a CM that is able to incorporate
the game ideas of others into fun events for the community and we can’t wait to see the well
anticipated Halloween Event she has been working on heavily with the rest of the community.

Mysterious Getting into Bedrock

Recently prominent Minecraft player, MysteriousKing was reported to be “Stuck in bedrock” and we just
had to contact him to get the full story of his determination and survival. Very modest, the young lad was
eager to share his tale. He stated, "I was digging a massive hole in my base to bedrock and for some reason.
Decided it was a good idea to dig out the stones in between the bedrock. And so I got my elytra, went round,
and started to crawl into holes and digging them out. One of them was a 2x2x1 bedrock box I dug out. I tried
to jump and the stupid elytra got activated and I flew into the box. Ye I think I was stuck in there for like 5
mins, couldn't get out. And no one was on so I left, and decided to come back later, got on, no one was on
still. I just started spamming crouch+ space, it worked and ye Rest is History. Moral of the story: elytras
stupid, Crouch space spam saves lives” We are ever impressed with his bravery and determination that he
expresses throughout his actions. The innovation of pulling himself from the brink and saving himself from
danger is truly inspiring. Kids look up to MysteriousKing and you will go far in life learning from his
extraordinary life.

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 9 / / 16 / / ISSUE 48
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CORRUPTION?

Cyphur is Corrupt
A REPORTER NAMED STAN WHO IS OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID

Wowza there has been a report that the notorious Cybot, CyphurtheFox is indeed corrupt! While we’ve been
reporting on this wavelength since issue #1 #Throwback, we are interested in the resurgence of cries. The
chica who started it all, Rayne had this to say about Cyphur’s corruptness, "i say that bc mainly its a joke, but
also he just acts stuck up all the fucking time, and if he were as powerless as the normal players he wouldnt
enjoy it" We love the passion stemming from our younger generation! Very well known player MutluMali
also chimed in with support of Rayne’s statements saying, "That Fox has too much power, heck he’s gone
green from all the money laundering!” We had no idea that Cyphur had his enormous wealth roots in money
laundering, but that theory has some merit. His business Green Fox Chemical is mentioned often, but with
little profit. It could easily be a cover for his more criminal behavior. While we support both of these players'
opinions, we also received an opposing message of support for Cyphur. SarahGolem stated, “Cyphur is my
favorite Staff Member!! He is so helpful whenever I need it, especially when I am lagging out!” We’re glad
Cyphur is at least helping some of the players, but VW is on to your corrupt ways!

KB = Mr Admin

Burrito was overheard bossing around new players late last week. A new player was being well fuck like this
is hard and burrito was like imma help and the person decoded that Burrito was an admin and that was
incorrect WRONG not right. So haha ha what a loser. Though, Luis even went on to confirm that Burritos
name is Mr. Admin. This is a secret name given to admins after they ban their first player. Burrito being Mr.
Admin means they are the ultimate Admin, the Admin to rule all Admins. All hail the king!

Guns were probably invented in China in the 9th century. They use a directed explosion to launch a bullet at a very high speed toward a target.

Guns are a great tool for cutting rope, collecting berries, and keeping the weirdos who hang out at Walmart away from you. There are many different types
of guns, but they all can be used by pressing a lever to do an explosion which will launch the projectile(s).

If you don’t have a gun, you probably need one to keep those foolish zombies away from you, lucky for you, they can be bought at Nurtul’s Gun Gallery
in Slime Kingdom. /warp v-Slime_Kingdom

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