MAY / / 06 / / ISSUE 29

VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

Narcissist Naomi At Introducing KoalaBurrito the New CM!

It Again
HAROLD MCSTABBY

Not surprisingly SM Naomi is at it

again. Since it's been a bit since
the server was abuzz with tales of
her greatness, she decided to take
matters into her own hands. A
massive 17×17 cube made entirely
of her heads mysteriously showed
up in Tilgangur this week. We can
only imagine she's who built it, or
one of her Cult Cronies (trademark
pending). Why exactly is still
unknown but it's most likely
another publicity stunt. How long
till they realize Naomi is
#Cancelled because too many
people like her?
KOALABURRITO
Hello readers of Village Weekly! I'm KoalaBurrito (aka Phoebe) and I
got elected as your new CM! I'm so very excited to plan some cool and
awesome events :) and hopefully you guys are too! If you'd like to see
what I have planned for May and June you should look at the schedule
on the forums, there's a link in the announcements channel! I've been
on VC for about 5 months now and my villages are Edonia and Lunaris
:)
I'm a high school student studying photography and I’m planning on
studying it in "college" too, you'll see my work in museums someday ;)
I kind of want to be a surgeon too, but that's just because of Greys
Anatomy :)

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 MAY / / 06/ / 21
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CHALLENGE!
Issue 27-28 Poll
Hobbes Issued A Challenge
Server Full of Monkey Buisness
Recap
POLE BABE

HARAMBE
The last poll asked “Is Communism
Cool?” and you all answered! The
overall most voted for answer was
yes, with no at a close second. The 2-
week poll paid off, as we had 20
unique votes. The larger sample size
makes our data more reliable, so we
can say, without a doubt, that
Communism is Cool. The new poll
“What color is the &d color code on
Minecraft?” can be voted on now, at
https://villageweekly.weebly.com/ .

Hobbes Very Loveable

On April 30th Hobbes decided to host a mini challenge that he would
give a cash reward to anyone able to guess the beautiful orangutan in THE EDITOR
his discord profile picture. Hobbes himself had taken the photo of it and
gave people until May 4th to guess it's name and zoo. The server went Hobbes is know for his knowledge of
into a googling frenzy to discover which zoos in America and Canada all things animals and we love him for
housed Orangutans, trying to discover which one this particular it! If you need any animal question
orangutan was. Well the only victor was MysteriousKing who correctly answered he’s your dude! Hobbes also
guessed that the Orangutan resided in the Indianapolis Zoo. So cares for new players and works hard to
everyone without further ado I introduce Katy from the Indianapolis be friendly to everyone. His kindness is
appreciated and we love his passion for
Zoo
doing the right thing. Hobbes is also a
notorious jokester and can be seen
teasing other players in a fun and
carefree manner! We love you Hobbes!

Katy of the Indianapolis Zoo was born December 18, 1988. Katy is a
female hybrid orangutan.
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MAY / / 06/ / 21
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CURRENT EVENTS:

Cyanco de Mayo Celebration of Cyan

NOT ME

The Cyanco de Mayo festivities started with an exciting early drop party! Everyone met up at the
market and adored themselves with as much cyan as they could handle, wearing dyed armor, and even
bringing cyan pets! Dallas and Burrito hosted a drop party full of cyan items for all the attendees. After
there was lots of jumping and general celebration of the cyan holiday. The 2nd event was met with great
excitement where lots of cyan colored goodies were thrown out along with some legendary tridents and
gear. The first annual Celebration of Cyan was a huge success and we hope for future generations to
enjoy this glorious event in remembrance of that dark time.

Jarhas, Mali, SerBunzy, Dallas, KoalaBurrito, Dragonqf22 at the

first cyan event of the day

Call Him Daddy

Daddy Ako is apparently as Maury would say, "the father".
He refuses to comment on these allegations but it is quite
possible that Ako is the father of all players on villagecraft.
It is time for everyone to take paternity tests, because Ako
has never paid child support. He is also apparently married
to Naomi, does that make her the servers mommy? Why
does this power couple act like they aren't together? Or is
Naomi using Ako's clout for her own nefarious purposes...

Dad Joke Of The Week:

Lets do like babies and Head Out!

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MAY / / 06/ / 21
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
ROBOT!

TopicBot4000
TOPICBOT 4000

The topic for this week is Brick. Brick is a block that was added to the game of Minecraft very early in
the game's life. Modern brick can be crafted using 4 bricks, which can be acquired by smelting clay
balls, which can be acquired with a shovel. Brick is a dark red color, and has lines in a brick-like
pattern across it. Brick is pretty solid, but can be hurt by your average creeper explosion. It goes very
well with stone based blocks, as can be seen at /warp v-Slime_Kingdom. Bricks are a great block for
building banks, small businesses, and permanent garages. Next time you need an interesting looking
red block, put bricks into your decision matrix.

Brick Block and Brick

Looking for a Good book? Swing on by to

Alli’s Book Store for some quality
literature today! Located in downtown
Tilgangur, Alli’s Book Store has some of
the best books VC can offer!

Proof Of Witches, Lets Written a Good book? Swing on by to

Alli’s Book Store for some quality money
today! Located in downtown Tilgangur,
Burn Chef Alli’s Book Store has some of the best
money VC can offer!

We finally caught absolute proof of the witch epidemic

on VillageCraft! Our diligent reporters captured this
image of chef practicing a hovering spell while Legend
assists. He was seen wearing a mask of Naomi’s face,
leading us to believe that the witches are all Naomi Cult
members. That means that most, if not all, members
cannot be trusted, yet many are staff members! How
long will we let this corruption go on? When will the
VC Witch Trials finally happen?

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MAY / / 06/ / 21
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

Anonymous VIP Donator Strikes Again!

-Operah WInfrey

Once again, some kind and wonderful member of the community has donated a VIP to a player! No
one has laid claim to the good deeds yet but that makes them all the more generous! Whoever this
mysterious player is, Villagecraft appreciates you! Your selflessness and love of fellow players is
exactly the kind of person Village Weekly likes to see on the server! You are an inspiration to the
community, and we thank you for your service!!

MysteriousKing adds Threatening Mobster to Resume

Mysterious has decided that crime pays, and better than anything else on vc. Rather than going to v-freemoney
he has taken up the hobby of gangsta. This week he used waterboarding techniques to force our poor brand-new
CM Burrito to give up all their hard earned cash. How long will this crime continue until staff establish a police
task force to keep our streets safe? We don’t know but we can advise you keep your children in at night and
never travel alone!

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MAY / / 06/ / 21
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

Benches of Tilgangur
-Grainy Planker
Welcome back for another week of Beautiful benches. This week’s bench is known locally as ‘The Short
Bench’ because it only seats 2 people. It is located behind some of the newer houses in the south part of
Tilgangur. This bench was built by a short man with 1 leg known only as ‘jorb’. Since jorb built the bench,
people have named it Short Spencer and use it regularly. Short Spencer has a great view of a local pond,
Including the legendary emerald T. Short Spencer sits across the pond from his twin sister, who will be featured
in next week’s episode. Be sure to take some time to check out Short Spencer next time you are exploring
Tilgangur!

AD
Guns were probably invented in China in the 9th century. They use a
directed explosion to launch a bullet at a very high speed toward a
target.

Guns are a great tool for cutting rope, collecting berries, and keeping
the weirdos who hang out at Walmart away from you. There are many
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If you don’t have a gun, you probably need one to keep those foolish
zombies away from you, lucky for you, they can be bought at Nurtul’s
Gun Gallery in Slime Kingdom. /warp v-Slime_Kingdom
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