APR / / 15 / / ISSUE 26
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO
Rest in Pieces
SKRILLEX
VC1 has claimed 3 more lives this
week, when Gerritt, JarHas, and
Mali all hopped in without
thinking. Unfortunately, they were
immediately corrupted and now are
forever cursed by the ancients.
True admins (the big 3) are the
only ones who can remove the
ghost attached to their shadow.
Everyone is encouraged to carry
some poisonous potatoes to ward
off Evil, and to walk backwards
through doorways. Gemini be
especially careful. Don't splash in
that puddle today, it's deeper than
you think...
The Corrupted in VC1
Staff Members and Their Empires Ignore
Cyan Wool Shortage
GHOST THE CAT
The well documented Cyan Wool Shortage of 2021 is still ongoing this
week as multiple staff members flaunt their cyan wool usage in the
midst of this global shortage. Yvette informed our reporters that Istrana
continues to use cyan wool in their urban planning despite the shortage
of this revered wool. Istrana isn't the only one flaunting their wool usage
during this crisis as Octo was seen trying to sneakily sell his copious
amounts of cyan wool to private buyers. How could he hoard cyan wool
when the citizens are in an outrage? Clearly the VC government needs
to step in as the riots are amping up and the end of the wool scare is not
in sight. We implore these cyan wool hoarders to think of the little guys
and perhaps help out with the shortage. Until this crisis is solved Village
Weekly is dedicated to bringing you news on these developments.
The Cyan Wool Users
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 APR / / 15 / / ISSUE 26
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

WAR??
Image of the Week
Istrana Citizens Push to Hold Valace WE LOVE PICS!

Accountable
Civil Unrest Continues Since we have moved to biweekly
polls we will be putting an image of
WALDO the week here, feel free to submit it
to any of our reporters to be featured
In typical Istrana fashion, there are citizens standing up for what is right in Village Weekly! This imagine is
in light of the NomaiGiven getting trapped in a Valace Canal. The The BrutalFive killing it on the poll
people have spoken, and they want Istrana, as the superpower it is, to in a Strip Club! Work that money
hold Valace accountable in this worldwide halt in trade. With their maker Brutal!
impressive Military we think peace loving Valace would have little
hope if this goes to conflict. Best case scenario is cyan wool trade
returns and conflict is avoided, but this reporter shudders at the outcome
that will be presented if wool trade does not continue. With riots already
raging in Qualia and protests becoming prominent in Istrana it is only a
matter of time before something shifts. We just hope it shifts in favor of
the citizens and not the tyrants. If anyone is to step in and keep Valace
accountable it will have to be Istrana, but at what cost. We hope peace
is achieved before these large empires come to blows.
Gamer or Tacooo?
We love either way
THE EDITOR

Gamer who goes by Tacooo has been a

delightful addition to VillageCraft. With
a strong curiosity and pleasant manner
she is a delight to have around. She is
also extremely helpful to new players,
even if they do her wrong. Keep up the
good work! Village Weekly Loves you!

Protest Begins in Istrana

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 APR / / 15 / / ISSUE 26
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CURRENT EVENTS:

Events:
DOES IT EVEN MATTER AT THIS POINT

Thanks to everyone who came to yesterday’s community showcase, it was lots of fun! For those who
didn’t attend, Gerrit gave a lovely tour of his village, followed by an intense game of capture the flag in
the senate building!

Mali Now in
Charge??

Guys Mali owns the server now. If

you ever say anything even
remotely negative about Mali you
will be smitten so hard you will
also be banned from video games
forever. Ako is missing, maybe
gone forever, so until Ako Backo,
Mali Principali.

Ako himself declaring it so

Dad Joke Of The Week:

How do you get a country girl’s
attention? A tractor.

Alcohol Disabled?

In a scoop given by Dallas, it has come out that Big Villagecraft has disabled alcohol brewing,
effectively putting prohibition in place. How long until Nascar 2 electric Boogaloo is uncertain but it
is on the horizon! Why Staff did nothing during the drug epidemic is unknown, but it's clear the drugs
benefited their purpose since removing alcohol distracts players from the cyan wool. Eyes open
sheeple! supporter owns VillageCraft. Do you part! Donate to Valace’s Free the Ship Fund to help end
the Cyan Wool Shortage of 2021!
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 APR / / 15 / / ISSUE 26
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
ROBOT!

TopicBot4000
TOPICBOT 4000

Greetings, after a recent information gathering excursion to the server, I have learned about
Mooshrooms. Mooshrooms are animals that appear to be regular cows, but have mushrooms on their
backs. Mooshrooms can appear as red, or brown variants. Mooshrooms spawn in mushroom field
biomes, and anywhere else server SM’s decide to spawn them. When a mooshroom becomes unalive,
they will drop leather, beef, and experience orbs. Mooshrooms can be turned into a regular cow via the
use of shears, which will drop 5 of the corresponding color mushroom and change the cow.
Mooshrooms can be milked with a bucket, to yield milk, they can also be ‘milked’ with a bowl, to yield
mushroom stew. Mooshrooms have the ability to give a human minecraft player many resources, so
they should be captured quickly to allow for an optimized Minecraft experience.

A Gravel block
Village Showcase
Steals Map from Looking for a Good book? Swing on by to
Alli’s Book Store for some quality
literature today! Located in downtown
Hypixel Tilgangur, Alli’s Book Store has some of
the best books VC can offer!

Potential Scientist Shadow has made some bold Written a Good book? Swing on by to
accusations, but the most recent thrust at Gerritt’s Alli’s Book Store for some quality money
Village Showcase must be the most violent. today! Located in downtown Tilgangur,
‘Doesn’t Hypixel have that exact same map for Alli’s Book Store has some of the best
like one of those arrows/ colored block war game money VC can offer!
thing?’. While the source for this information is
not cited, the way a true scientist would cite their
sources, it is clearly an attack on Gerritt’s build.
What could Shadow possibly mean by this? Is he Riots Increase in Qualia as Week
planning an attack on the village? We will have to Comes to a Close
wait until the event and see, but in the meantime,
be very careful around that Shadow guy.

The image behind the

controversy -Taken by Gerritt "I was unsettled to see Akomine in the midst of the riot
seemingly agitating the crowd"

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APR / / 15 / / ISSUE 26
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

Sir Robot Almost Goes Sicko Mode

-Oran Mo’Bamba
With the opening of Commisar_Of_Gun’s new gun store in Slime Kingdom, many people were excited for the
chance to buy both basic and more sophisticated weaponry to defend their families and property. Some people
took this power a little too far. Known enemy of the triangle kangaroos Sir_Robot came to buy a gun for a great
low price, but in his excitement to use it, he tried to rob the gun store, and then go on a rampage around the
peaceful city of Slime Kingdom. Luckily, local hero Braden showed up to save the day once again. After
seconds of conversation, Braden was able to get Mr. Robot to unload his weapon and leave peacefully. Slime
Kingdom is very grateful to Braden for his swift action, and invites both him, and anyone else who wants a gun
to /warp Slime_Kingdom to check out Nurtul’s Gun Gallery.
Braden Speaking Calmly with Mr. Robot

New Company Promises to

Solve Cyan Wool Crisis

With qualia market now deep in the thralls of protests over rising
cyan wool prices, and the NomaiGiven looking more stuck than
ever, a new company on VC has stepped out, promising to use
novel technologies to solve the crisis and bring back reasonably
priced blue cyan wool to all the peoples of VC!
The new company, SpaceY, is a subsidiary of Glassridge
Industries, a megacorporation best known for its potion brewing
service, Green Fox Chemical. SpaceY has announced a two stage
plan to deliver cyan wool to Qualia market at reasonable prices.
The first phase has them constructing and moving a new barge
into qualia harbor. This barge sports state of the art GPS systems
allowing the second phase of the plan to be set into motion. The
second phase consists of using a newly constructed launch facility
to rapidly deliver cyan wool over thousands of kilometres to
qualia market, using custom rockets that will land upright on the
barge.
The Rockets, the launch of one pictured below, are purported to
use a technology SpaceY calls “Super Hull Uncompressible Lofty
Kerbal Entity Receptacles'' or SHULKER for short. Leading
experts say that while the technology demonstrated here isn’t
exactly new, no one has attempted to strap SHULKER containers
to a rocket before and used them for long distance shipping.
Top VillageCrafters have expressed mixed views on the new
system. Cyan wool advocate Akomine has been quoted saying
“finally! Sane prices can return!” when asked about the deliveries
directly to qualia’s doorstep. Other players have expressed
concerns with SpaceY’s uniquely 3D approach, stating “space
travel? We need to worry about things here on the ground” The
general trends, however, are positive; while prolific Qualia
economists state that these deliveries should help restore cyan
prices to more affordable levels within the year.

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APR / / 15 / / ISSUE 26
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
Art Submission:
Artist Name
Anony Mous

Despite all my friends, I am alone. Together we go to eat and hang out, but I am alone. Together we talk,
laugh and have fun, but I am alone. Together we gossip and rant with each other, but I am alone. I am
alone, together, And that might not make sense. My friends try to help, and they are there for me, but I
still feel alone. The problem is, I’m not actually alone. I’m loved and appreciated by many, I just can’t
feel it. I try not to feel alone, but in the end, it consumes me. Despite all my efforts, I am alone. Together
with my loving, caring friends. I am alone, together.

Response 1: this is really well written, dark and sad but also beautiful and poetic! Definitely a relatable piece,
and a poignant one at that.
Response 2: Thanks for the submission Anony, I think the poem has a great structure and really flows well.
While the contents appear dark, and I am very sorry to hear that you feel this way, I hope that writing these
feeling down can help you get through them and come out feeling better. <3
Response 3: Poetry is art as it gives a glimpse to the raw human soul. Thank you for giving us a glimpse of
yours, you expressed something I too have felt and it made me feel unified and less alone. I hope writing the
poetry was therapeutic for you as well.

Crystal Hollow Still a Hub of Animal Endangerment

Investy Gator
Alert, I can't believe none of you sent me a heads up on this one, but during my second animal welfare check of
Crystal Hollow, I saw sights that would make any dog dad’s eyes water. The first check I made was a follow-up
on the turtles. Surprisingly, there were NO changes made to the enclosure, and as a result, the situation has
gotten worse, there were no visible eggs, and even more turtles stuck in the torture hole. After I had fully
reported this, I moved on to check the other animal enclosures, and saw the MONSTROUS violation known as
the panda sanctuary. Whoever runs this animal village has so little respect for pandas, the poor creatures are just
crammed together with far too little food, and most of them don't even have NAMES. This is by far the worst
animal conditions I have ever seen, and I urge you to write letters to your senators to get this horrid place
cleaned up.

The Pandas that are suffering in

Crystal Hollow

The still abused Turtles in

Crystal Hollow

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