APRIL / / 29 / / ISSUE 28

VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

Froggy Dies Despite Crisis End, Istrana Protests

Continue
DEATH HIMSELF

Froggybee is dead. F, If you knew
Froggybee, I am sorry. If you didn't, I
am sorry. Either way this is a
tremendous loss that we may never
recover from. Like, maybe Froggybee
will come back, but if they don't that
would suck. Hopefully we can all
recover from this, including
Froggybee’s close friend who is a
burrito.
A CONFUSED PERSON
After the end of the Cyan wool crisis, and the start of Cyanco de Mayo,
many thought the cyan protests would end. The protesters in Istrana
though, seem to not be finished. As late as Wednesday night, they were
seen calling for an end to government use of cyan wool. Is it possible
that the government in Istrana is so out of touch with the worldwide
economy that they have not heard about the new sources of wool? Or is
it the protesters that are uninformed? Either way, it seems that the
protests continue at mostly full strength, excluding the number of
protesters who appear to be headless. Have crimes been committed by
the government? Have the protesters forgotten to check their phones?
Who knows, but hopefully these protests can come to a swift end soon.

The Burrito after Froggy died

Dad Joke of the

Week
The Protesters Still in Istrana

The rotation of the earth really

makes my day.

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 APRIL / / 29 / / ISSUE 22
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

THE GIVING TREE

Nature Takes Over Tilgangur Tilgangur Nights

IMAGE OBSESSED
May All Your Wishes Come True
This Image was taken during a
FAIRY QUEEN fireworks show on Naomi’s rooftop.
It has the beautiful firework
Over the past few weeks, the famous bald-headed Tilgangur waterfall illuminated in the incredible night
has been taken over by mother nature! sky and you can see the always
impressive Dreki Protecting
Tilgangur.

We love Vanilla
THE EDITOR

Giving life to the waterfall, a huge oak tree (the Giving Tree) has been
Vanilla_Gal has graced the server
visited by many players around the server in recent times. Many visitors
with her presence once more and we
of the giving tree have been starting to leave their wishes at the Giving
couldn’t be happier! Whether is it
Tree for some unknown reasons; However, sources indicate that some
schooling silly American’s about
form of reward (Diamonds) were given to players who left their wishes
Canada’s superiority or just being a
at the tree. Regardless, the tree seems to be making the players on the
bright light, Vanilla is always
server happy! So come and climb up her trunk and use her swing and
someone that brings the party. We
get diamonds and chill out with your friends and be happy at the Giving
love her village the Land of Maple
Tree.
Syrup and can’t wait to see what she
comes up with! VW loves Vanilla!

TopicBot4000

Today you will read about water. Water is a liquid that is wet. You can swim in water,
and you can drink water. Water is a base ingredient in potions. Water is also used to turn
concrete powder into solid concrete. Water is what dolphins and fish live in. Water is
used to make dirt blocks wet so that crops can grow. If the blocks are not wet the crops
will not grow well and you will have to find another food source or risk perishing. Water
can be transported using a bucket, and placed on the ground also using a bucket. When
water is placed, it spreads out from the source blick, looking to flow downhill if it can.
This is knowledge about water.

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APRIL / / 29 / / ISSUE 22
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

NEW CM!

KoalaBurrito Named New CM!

NOT KB

Village Weekly is happy to Announce our newest CM KoalaBurrito! We are deeply saddened to see
Allison go so early but are excited to see what amazing things KB can bring to the role! Next week you
will get to have a welcoming message from the new CM herself! So, stay tuned for that! A European
Community Minister hasn’t been seen since our 2nd one Livid so it’ll be interesting to see how the event
dynamic will change. One thing is certain, our other time zones will have more consideration in an
effort to have a more inclusive VC and that can only be seen as a good thing. All in all take time to
congratulate KoalaBurrito and we look forward to what she comes up with as CM!

Nobody Helps Emily

KoalaBurrito during her

wedding to FroggyBee
*In the arms of an angel fly awaaaaayy* for just $3 a month YOU could
symbolically adopt an Emily. Help end Emily's lack of help and donate today to an
Emily in need. In return you will get a tax break or whatever. Remember, you could
be the only thing standing between an Emily and helplessness.

CM Candidate Reveals Secret Identity

This really speaks for itself, KoalaBurrito is
also STONECOLD so watch out for her
alter ego, might be DaNgErOus

Chef Gets Away with CRIME

Staff Abuse Amiright? Chef admits that she
loves the perks of dating a staff member
because of all the things she gets away with.
How dare she break our historic Spawn and
get away with it! This is a spit in the face for
our hard peacekeepers. #BanChef
#BanStaffAbuse

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APRIL / / 29 / / ISSUE 22
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
CYPHUR WATCH!

Cyphur Demonstrates Foxy Magic

MAD SCIENTIST

One of our reporters was taking a lovely evening stroll when they happened upon CyphurTheFox stuck
in a box of his heads! The only thing we can deduce that this is some of that “Foxy magic” that Cyphur
is always talking about. There are witches about on VillageCraft and it seems we’ve found 1. This
looks like a cloning mission gone wrong since we know Cyphur has cloned himself to get more spying
done. This proves that he is a witch, but can robots perform witchcraft?? This puts the Cybot theory up
in the air, so this reporter will be doing research on whether robots can be witches!

Naomi Breaks the ONE rule?

This week, while doing very important work on Tilgangur, Naomi took a short break that turned into a
tall crime. She was spotted placing buttons all over the legendary Tilgangur button-free zone. As
everyone already knows, this zone was created to keep the mischievous masses from Fiveton from
placing buttons that would disrupt the delicate balance of the loading bay. Naomi, fully aware of this,
decided to place the buttons anyway. As an owner of Tilgangur, she is allowed to do this, but as a
moral leader of the server, is this acceptable behavior? We need to make sure she can be put up for
judgement by a jury of her peers, to maybe pay the ultimate price for this unforgivable crime against
the law and order of Tilgangur, and the whole server.

Naomi placing buttons in

the Button-Free Zone

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APRIL / / 29 / / ISSUE 22
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
MISSING NO MORE!

DigitalFolf Alive and Well

REALLY CONCERNED FURRY

DigitalFolf and Naomi,

Friends Reunited at Last

Wolf and long-term friend of Naomi, DigitalFolf has been missing in recent months when he
disappeared from the 5th Haven Server and then wasn’t seen on VC either! He finally resurfaced last
night on VillageCraft with a vengeance against 1 fox. DigitalFolf per usual didn’t have a lot to say, but
actions speak louder than words. He murdered CyphurTheFox a lot with various epicly named
weapons. Perhaps something happened on 5th Haven to cause such a response. Or maybe Cyphur did
something to Folf during his disappearance. Regardless I’m sure these two furry lovers will work it out
and we’re happy he is no longer missing.

Naomi Sucks at Hiding

DOE LEROY

Naomi Hiding

So have you ever heard the term ‘buried the lead’? Well I didn't do that, I just did the opposite by
putting the entire story in the title. If you ever need to win a game of hide and seek, you should
probably challenge Naomi, because you will win. Some other people that might not be very good at
hiding are Vanilla_Gal, Sir_Robot, Mysterious King, and Koala Burrito. These are just some people to
keep in mind for your next game of Hide and Seek. Have a great day!

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APRIL / / 29 / / ISSUE 22
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
TILGANGUR TIMES

Benches of Tilgangur
GRAINY PLANKER

Welcome back for another bench! This week we are talking about the bench near the lighthouse. This
bench was built by religious leader Larry the Cucumber. For many years after its construction, it was
totally unused by the citizens of Tilgangur, as they thought it was cursed, due to the fact that Larry the
Cucumber has no arms. After some brave children sat on it without being cursed, people finally started
using it to enjoy its incredible view of the sea and the semi-terrifying Naomi for Staff in the sky. The
bench was then named after that brave child ‘Excavator Sr.’. Excavator has become a destination for
tourists from all over the flat earth and is a great place to see and feel the beauty of Tilgangur.

Mrs. Excavator Sr. Herself

Interested in Arrows from an old Plugin?

Contact Relevart to purchase! This is your
opportunity to buy specialty historic
items!

Guns were probably invented in China in

the 9th century. They use a directed
explosion to launch a bullet at a very high
speed toward a target.

Guns are a great tool for cutting rope,

collecting berries, and keeping the
weirdos who hang out at Walmart away
from you. There are many different types
of guns, but they all can be used by
pressing a lever to do an explosion which
will launch the projectile(s).
If you don’t have a gun, you probably
need one to keep those foolish zombies
away from you, lucky for you, they can
be bought at Nurtul’s Gun Gallery in
Slime Kingdom. /warp v-Slime_Kingdom
May's banner competition starts tonight
and ends Sunday at 7:00 p.m. EST so
submit your banners to any staff member
for a chance to win
1st place is $15,000, 2nd is $10,000, 3rd is
$5,000
The winners will be displayed in the
banner shop for sale all month!

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