Some people say free time activities for children should be organized

(by parents). Others say that children should be free to choose what

they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While some people believe that parents should make a decision on leisure
activities of their offspring, others say that children should be allowed to do
whatever they want with their spare time. Personally, I believe that youngsters
should plan their free time activities rather than relying on their parents
because of individual freedom and personal development. Very good
introduction
To begin with, some people are convinced that parents could arrange their
children’s leisure activities as they have a wide range of real-life experiences
and children’s sedentary lifestyle should be prevented by parentsof children.
First, unlike teenagers , who have a fairly broad range of theoretical
knowledge, parents have superior practical skills, so they could perceive
whether it is the right decision for their child to avoid harmful habits. As a
result, the majority of children, who are under the supervision of their parents,
usually have a healthy lifestyle such as doing workouts and reading books
during their break time good. Second, given the proliferation of digital
devices such as mobile phones or tablets, significantly younger generations
em dùng dấu phẩy cẩn thận, không dùng bừa bãi như trong tiếng Việt mô nhé,
are becoming overly addicted to these technologies good. For example,
without parents’ management, children are likely to play games in their free
time that leads to a sedentary lifestyle, or those games could harm how
youngsters act and think. Good
However, I believe that young people should schedule their spare time
activities to have individual freedom and personal development good topic
sentence. First, because free time activities are known as activities chosen for
pleasure, relaxation, typically after work and other responsibilities are done,
so children should apparently decide on their hobbies which is are suitable for
them to cope with their emotional satisfaction. In contrast, when youngsters
are always asking for parents’ permission, they are emotionally constrained
by their parents and are not allowed to do what they enjoy. As a result, when
children are in rebellious adolescence, they tend to rebel against their parents
and are easily affected by bad influences from others without having self-
control. Second, children need to be independent of organizing their free time
and not to be reliant on their parents in order to advance their personal
development which is pivotal to their road to maturity and develop a habit of
not pestering and relying on parents good. Additionally, they need to take
responsibility for their bad decision-making during their childhood because
the decisions that they make can have massive effects on their lives or even
the lives of people around them. Ví dụ bài này sẽ rất tốt nếu em thêm ví dụ
đoạn trẻ em nên được tự do, ví dụ con thích vẽ hay chơi đàn không nên bắt
con tập bơi chẳng hạn.
In conclusion, although parents could organize a direct plan for children’s
leisure activities with their first-hand knowledge and youngsters' sedentary
lifestyle, I believe that free time activities should be decided by children with
their own freedom and significant skills. Thêm câu gợi ý mở rộng cho được
điểm cao nhé. However, rather deciding for children, parents should act as a
guide and provide orientation for children to make the best out of their leisure
time, for the benefits of children’s relaxation and development.
Hãy cố gắng thêm ví dụ vào trong bài của mình nhé