Dr B White

Neurosurgeon Commented [MOU1]: Be careful of spelling mistakes.

City Hospital
Newtown Commented [MOU2]: Per day here is redundant. You can
use it once and refer to both.
21/06/14 Commented [MOU3]: Put this in a parantheses. Like this
(probably iodine) or (Iodine maybe?)
Dear Dr White,
Commented [MOU4]: This paragraph is better to be after
Re: Mr George Poulos, aged 45 years the paragraph where you discuss the presentation. It is
important to give the most important info in the beginning.
Thank you for seeing Mr Poulos, a stockbroker, whose features are suggestive of discogenic back pain Commented [MOU5]: After.
with radiculopathy. Your further assessment and management would be highly appreciated.
Commented [MOU6]: Capitalize.
Mr Poulos is married with 3 children. He smokes 25 cigarettes per day and drinks 10 -15 std per day. He
is allergic to pethidine, penicillin, and an unknown radiographic contrast medium probably iodine. Commented [MOU7]: Spelling.

Initially, on 21/05/2014, Mr poulus presented with a two-day-history of severe localized back pain. The Commented [MOU8]: Slightly improving. Or just
pain started while lifting a heavy object at home. He reported that he had been locked in semi-flexed improving.
position and had had difficulty walking. As a result, he took panadien fort. His conditiond was partially
improving over the next two days. On examination, there was lost lumber lordosis, limited extension of Commented [MOU9]: Decreased lumbar lordosis.
lumber spine due to pain, and exaggeration of the pain by lumber flexion. He was advised to rest from
work along with taking either paracetamol,500, or Panadeine Fort. On review a week after, his condition Commented [MOU10]: Of the lumbar spine. Don’t forget
was deteriorating with a new complaint of extension of the pain to the back of the right thigh, lateral the article there.
calf, and dorsum of the foot.
Commented [MOU11]: Exaggeration of the pain upon
On today’s review, the pain was still aggravating to the degree of immobility. Examination revealed lumbar flexion.
further limitations in movements. Moreover, there was loss of light touch in the lateral distal calf and
plantar aspect of the foot along with loss of right ankle reflex. Commented [MOU12]: Better to say, and prescribed… to
be more concise.

In view of the above, I am referring Mr Poulus for your further care including an MRI and surgery if
Commented [MOU13]: On reviewing him a week after, I
deemed necessary. noticed his condition deteriorating further. He also
complained of a new pain in the back of the right thing,
For any queries, please contact me. lateral calf, and dorsum of the foot.

Yours sincerely Commented [MOU14]: Sentence incorrect. The pain was

increasing upon movement for example is a better way of
Doctor saying it.

Commented [MOU15]: Into your care for a possible MRI

and surgery if you deem necessary.
Commented [MOU16]: Better to say: Please feel free to
contact me should you have any other queries.
Commented [MOU17]: Don’t forget a comma here.

Commented [MOU18]: Overall well done. You need more

practice in order to improve your sentence structures. Your
grammar and spelling overall is good. Just make sure not to
make silly mistakes that cost you points. Also remember...to
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Overall well done. You need more practice in order to improve your sentence structures. Your grammar and
spelling overall is good. Just make sure not to make silly mistakes that cost you points. Also remember to put the
most important info in the beginning of the letter after your introductory paragraph stating your purpose.