Communication Styles

Communication Styles:
Passive, Assertive,
Aggressive
Communications Styles
Goals for Today

 Understand different communication styles
and how they affect others
 Practice recognizing and crafting messages

in different styles
 Learn about assertiveness skills

Have you ever dealt

with a difficult person?
It’s all about respect
Passive Assertive Aggressive
No Respect Respect for No Respect

for Self Self & Others for Others
How about…?
Can’t speak up
Communication Styles

Can’t speak up
How about…?
Loud

Can’t speak up Loud
How about…?
Firm

Loud
Can’t speak up Firm
How about…?
Don’t know my rights


Can’t speak up Firm Loud
How about…?
Direct

Direct
How about…?
Bossy

Don’t know my rights Direct
Bossy
How about…?
Honest

Don’t know my rights Direct Bossy
Honest
How about…?
Pushy

Honest
Pushy
How about…?
Respect rights of others


Honest Pushy
Respect rights of
others
How about…?
Get stepped on

Get stepped on Honest Pushy

Respect rights of
others
How about…?
Meek

Meek Respect rights of

others
How about…?
Dominating

Meek Respect rights of Dominating
others
How about…?
Intimidating

others
Intimidating
How about…?
Too accommodating

others Intimidating
Too
accommodating
How about…?
Violate others’ rights using

power, position &
language

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Violate others’
rights using
power, position &
language
How about…?
Talks softly

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Talks softly Violate others’ rights
using power, position
& language
How about…?
Recognize the importance

of having my needs &
rights respected

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Talks softly Recognize the Violate others’ rights
importance of using power, position
having my needs & language
& rights respected
How about…?
Must get my way


others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Recognize the Violate others’ rights
Talks softly importance of having
my needs & rights using power, position
respected & language
Must get my way
How about…?
Gives “cold fish” handshakes


others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Gives “cold fish” respected & language
handshakes Must get my way
How about…?
Don’t stand up for my rights


others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Gives “cold fish” & language
handshakes respected
Must get my way
Don’t stand up
for my rights
How about…?
React instantly

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Must get my way
Don’t stand up for my
rights React instantly
How about…?
Avoid conflicts

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Must get my way
Avoid conflicts
How about…?
Confident

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Must get my way
Don’t stand up for my Confident
Avoid conflicts
How about…?
Don’t care where or when I

“blast” someone

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Confident Must get my way
Avoid conflicts Don’t care where
or when I “blast”
someone
How about…?
Realize I have choices


others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Realize I have
Avoid conflicts choices Don’t care where or
when I “blast”
someone
How about…?
Effective communicator

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
rights Realize I have choices React instantly
Avoid conflicts Don’t care where or
Effective when I “blast”
communicator someone
How about…?
People take advantage of me


others Intimidating
Too accommodating
Avoid conflicts Effective communicator Don’t care where or
when I “blast”
People take someone
advantage of me
How about…?
Can express my needs


others Intimidating
Too accommodating
when I “blast”
People take someone
advantage of me Can express my
needs
How about…?
Can be abusive

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
when I “blast”
People take Can express my needs someone
advantage of me
Can be abusive
How about…?
Vise-like handshake

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
when I “blast”
advantage of me
Can be abusive
Vise-like
handshake
How about…?
Make good eye contact


others Intimidating
Too accommodating
when I “blast”
advantage of me
Make good eye Can be abusive
contact Vise-like handshakes
How about…?
I like to get even


others Intimidating
Too accommodating
when I “blast”
advantage of me
Make good eye contact Can be abusive
Vise-like handshake
I like to get even
How about…?
Speak with firm voice


others Intimidating
Too accommodating
when I “blast”
advantage of me
Speak with firm Vise-like handshake

voice I like to get even
How about…?
Trouble saying “no,” then I’m

angry and resentful

others Intimidating
Too accommodating
when I “blast”
advantage of me
Trouble saying “no,”
then I’m angry and Speak with firm voice Vise-like handshake
resentful I like to get even
Passive Style: Summary

 Too intimidated to express thoughts and
feelings
 Forfeits his/her rights or freedoms
 Gives in to demands so he/she will be
accepted
 Avoid confrontation at any cost
 Often feels used and taken advantage of
 Driven by anxiety
Assertive Style: Summary

 Recognizes and stands up for own
rights while respecting the dignity of
others
 Focuses on specific issues and

problems, without belittling self or
others
 Expresses opinion without violating

others’ rights
 Minimizes opportunities to be
taken advantage of by others
Assertive Style: Summary

 Open, tolerant, and considerate of
other’s feelings
 Can overcome fear to confront issues

that require resolutions
 Can communicate feelings of anger

diplomatically, without putting others
on the defensive
Aggressive Style: Summary

 Intimidates others to gain control of
their thoughts and actions
 Manipulates, accuses, fights
 Little or no regard for other’s feelings
 Driven by anger
Passive-aggressiveness
 Hostility expressed through inaction;
inertia used as a weapon
 Silenttreatment
 Dragging your feet
 Always being late
 Never saying what they want to do, then
sulking about it
 Lame excuses
 Plausible deniability is key

ROLE PLAY
 Scenario 1: Need two volunteers
 Scenario 2: Need three volunteers

Assertiveness Skills
 Know your rights
 Say no and not feel guilty
 Change your mind about anything
 Take your time to form a response to a comment
or question
 Ask for assistance with instructions or directions
 Ask for what you want
 Experience and express your feelings
 Feel positive about yourself under any conditions
 Make mistakes without feeling embarrassed or
guilty
 Own your opinions and convictions
 Protest unfair treatment or criticism
 Be recognized for your significant achievements
and contributions
From Davis, Eshelmann, and McKay (1988)
 Learn to say no
 Learn to use “I” statements
 Use eye contact
 Use assertive body language
 Avoid manipulation
 Be aware of these strategies
 Intimidation
 Content substitution
 Personal attacks (character assassination)
 Avoidance
 Learn to say no
 Learn to use “I” statements
 Use eye contact
 Use assertive body language
 Avoid manipulation
 Respond rather than react
 Exercise
Your difficult person

 What communication style do they use?
 How does it make you feel?
 How will you change your reaction to

them?
Communication is two-way
What questions do you have??

Evaluation Questions
Use:
A.
B.
Strongly agree
Agree
#13
C. Disagree Tuesday, Sept. 28
D. Strongly disagree
E. Don’t know
1. I found the presentation of material easy to
understand.
2. This Advantage session increased my knowledge
on the subject presented.
3. I will be able to use some of the information
from this Advantage session in the future.
4. The presenter was well prepared for this
Advantage session.
5. This presentation should be repeated in future
semesters.

Communication Styles

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Communication Styles:

Goals for Today

 Practice recognizing and crafting messages

 Learn about assertiveness skills

Have you ever dealt

It’s all about respect

Passive Assertive Aggressive

No Respect Respect for No Respect

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Don’t know my rights

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Respect rights of others

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Get stepped on Honest Pushy

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Meek Respect rights of

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Violate others’ rights using

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Recognize the importance

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Must get my way

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Gives “cold fish” handshakes

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Don’t stand up for my rights

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Don’t care where or when I

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Realize I have choices

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

People take advantage of me

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Can express my needs

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Make good eye contact

Passive Assertive Aggressive

I like to get even

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Speak with firm voice

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Speak with firm Vise-like handshake

Trouble saying “no,” then I’m

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Passive Style: Summary

Assertive Style: Summary

 Focuses on specific issues and

 Expresses opinion without violating