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Gargoule -CHRISTMAS CANCELLED- WE MOURN THE LOSS OF ONDIEK, WHO SURRENDERED TO THE VOID AFTER NOT SLEEPING FOR EIGHT DAYS 1993-2016 MAY HE PASS HIS EXAMS é sixty.tv0, november 28, 2016 Sy Masthead & managing ori chicf enone content ctor in-eicl ‘apnea erie sculture ontakosor ry eninions martin omy ites evant garg & resurer ‘tts Asa none yo cl Sep ie he ve cemtrepgel apron ac shane Tresonin pon sad tht rinse mich production manager‘ comics {eebafon and muh antral case Se tamopenigofcouve ofa rao, Con Sate ctxenet onthe het cnntie at Ssticon epg thn ptanpin “inet Caister hse geht aon oer ise hare Soarbed testa yout soup got cd heey Ztstsonetine Sve fon nr earn ee and ialvays wile. Go ahead and tn that page. Penelope Beans sophia park Bator n-Chiet anya zporodichenko ‘ed chang Jront cover & back cover penelope evans contributors About us “The Gargoye is Unversy College's greases student newspaper and pubis every to weeks ‘We area paper that believes sometimes you should be ang. and sometimes you shouldbe loud, and ifyoa have net hod a voice before, you deserve vice. We don ive print space to bigots and ‘ve dont feign neatly on ses of sacl Justice. Pes Keep your ar nd less sie ove “ustom-bse hughox atl tines. “The Gargoyle dungeon ofc loeate in Faces bythe F doo inthe UC aad 4260460081 sbmissonsancgarzovleca ceases ISSN: 0918-0107 So You Want to be An Academic? these habits will take you places shania perera 1m order to bevome a worldclass scholar you ‘mont wnkeaparund com an rote to spend Broductive pst midnight Yar sn Jour whole day Toeked up it your bedroom Sawate asjoud lie Head beck rhe Matching Nets standup apes Only eve to {mate anoihereupof coe. 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Reade all voakes oy ber tote Oe pore ‘Si a tens sta, Seta fou gig atl yo ‘Sold ei nyse rl Sie i yen eh ree py Oo " Aobure fate Srbucka Now you met consume peed amit nding he yr lait Aber tie utes, or rou mer cae ‘Tee amin anits abt bes etn his beer boeing te bw mh Year octets godt Yo Ber Tepe nome Paragraph Did tha ts ee fra mi brek fin open al of your soca media pp a May open Spotty fr some study music “Once youve nished two fete fae Tengtheptodes of the" Glimore Girt eval, ‘lanestthe ck overbead and dasover that time for dinner Sine i elo fo mm season vou should definitely treat youre to hey Belping of nk fod, Walk to Burger Ring and sty your craving, then walk back bome: Fina, you eam start studying forthe miter Yo shoald have ben preping forall day Up pening your” textbook, you wil suddenly ‘emember th ou watt ot ahead sat on oe research fper this weekend, Open yout Iapop and babitaly check Facebook Maye yur ers profile forthe hn tin hs the sree, Retro Facoa. Check our ex profile sanin, Take ager tt Piste; ont ade ede Ete sre Return to Facebook. Clear your search story What were you suposed fo be doing aac? igh, roa paper ou Ink the ‘Me’ tout chcare paranormal our instead, I lte now. Nuveen upon te Det. Maybe you should sh Cheeks fie gn Net ache Sp op youu, cwentivonce tom the Poona ate Keaton, mE Pele gay and you can't cell me otherwise rory and paris are emily 8 Heads up thereare piles for Gore Gir: 0 Hea ef onth pge, because 1 010 thefack in Ready? er we 90 ‘ate inal “The bd news? Rory and Pris are, 80 what the fk was wth thi “i's 9046 and Bory” and Paris arin falling relationship with boeing {etme from their pasts and are not mari {ater an oo pit er Bmp ee stn tose, i's ore than just a big banch of Teter oe toa thoug fale, forced 2 eer fae, freed relationship 1 reg and misnformative and dishonest can tell you honesty that hereto Be canta where ory and Par’ rat as sero mie coment ofa pty where Pars take nae caper fr male attention st was Joking egy tat tok me pears 1 UMP and reverse. had never ang even een i is wh it sw thal sone 1 had ila ow to conceptualize gis Eng or inane Satie ls as something that Teondeven da Ad ater sexton of as ng down Lrelas ‘Mian Roy pining ate al the most paintally heer and py asters inberie eacpt rf one ight i ont fer Krom recon 1 had to ake ofthe quer Shing prc ok teroemnlty ek ao oat ot ado ANecaPot th bors thr feted wth ‘Spline y te waning of atenton rom nen reas profoundly damaging trope for Day wy Rote te hae watched and T dont wen ot ‘aun tig year fou Lod 206. Al howe Tang about the suthenty of my ery Wetheep feting did nt even get the =o aati Paris na Rory Dace the power eee Stars Hollow deserves in the revival |e bonour of that big steaming ile of horsesht, Trecreatel sit that Any Sherman Pl {lense fom. mae Pane “Takes facing sip Any + QLS Na af.e ; 4h SED So ae RORY Logan! Wake up! awe : pase AYEARINTHEL BORA east amin of 7 sete ess a ny dogs suerte ta Tyke wre sj spe prety CHUETON. There Fe come ec ona a a ‘RORY: Shut up. You've dumped. 'm gay reciting Shakespeat® Sunt {LoGaN ns sono apd es insta oxo the ariage 6A RORY baci out of bl and calls an Uber} ais: Let Pemen mw AS mn tcurro Te macs sind i aneaions ST n SEAT OF THE UBER, eh ater et ema, ai RORY SON THE HONE WITH LOLA] ‘Nore ma oe wa LOREAL You're ga? ceetaaen HES ih Me Sronr th at Youput nem ececd gay Sakon = into es RORY growing up! What kind of mother doesn't know pas pases en BP aNBED Eciinaer’s guy? mean, you Tead Gertrde goa SUMS AAKED ae halon onder ot of rear Toa nae what de ymnn ya a? carro uss) RORY: Tm gy, mo RORY: Tin ay oie thn Christ ORELAT: Where are ou now? Come home th Orange ste New Black (2013), Und order in chinese ORY oh wow um mane: ca RORY tonsa Macs RORY, RORY et Lose pan oom FADETO, RORY: Wel have AS PASSED. KORY: Wel have something take care of 5 ont rr hi Se Pa RoMca yu to bear me ott Ob wom Just en thi ea, rd ee RORY: Whoa, ely? RORY: Wey, feease ve bee noe wth PARIS, ‘Sonreee gana dts 0°? Merry Disco Christmas twetty Bhite Horible Henry: Ie teen racking my brn to find ot bow ch Tae does one ret deck, theta Wty lite: Ussally having at fast Bote at hand is recommended. But generally speaking | tablespoon f enough for most hall although Feapplicaton may be ruled If oo mh ube Inlspensea ust beep pumpin ping, Disco Stan: Does the age of consent go back 70% sandanls at my disco Chrctnas pay Wet tite: Fuck fo Sta, Ricky Risky: rm a deatht-ico type of gy thats ntoa Donna Summers type of i, wht Sho do aout mya? ‘Went hie sty fk off with hat DTD shi. Secondly get your a in Une, everyone wants fubeultre ne do i 1 reomnend wearing Teopan ine eather and adling «healthy ae tf iter on your ene body Always remem toawethe Last Dance for that spec someone thecub Lonely Larry: How dot get gi to come ome with me om the rll nk? ‘ety Bite: Tsay you should make sre to et het know directly that you want to hve rae rinktelted sexual encounter wih ut you find ‘one who down to prove ike: you, Alternatively you aeshy, bin to wea onl the Shinyest and 'he tightest othing you can procure asd boone down on your own ont Someone falls hopelessly in ne with you at the Tas allerskate pace i existence fa Oakville motional Emmi: Fe decided that 1 need to Sart decorate my ex rom, Twat & 70 fe wih Chistmne undertones alo eed to. be Tncredily sede, Can you bel? ‘Wietty Bhi: I doit know when I became an interior designer ut have some sins got ‘Reommendations, for son. I wok gin with replacing any’ andl ring in that space nth 5 Inch dep shagearpeting Ale dark ted wil jst fine For that festive touch Sou can ad Srl sively coloured shag rears Tua {H. Bvery ether svaable mora should be : mrtored wih the exception, of coarse the bed thholidys any recommendations ad any chair both of hh ahoul be ye oe FO rnd eee eeeeanenann ares theragethisseasn, hash chemiealsallover your fal ewels realy says Tm wing to po hat ‘roe Prank: relly enjoy sing bat it dampens ‘extra ler you ong ty de, hove can I combat this ‘Wety ite: Untrtanately yom wil have to stop sing to ealy combat his fe,Dsco Kil. <@ Slacktivism and YOU Lucky Tay: Tim wondering what Kind of music vl Set the right mod this hla season, ho Dohare ono two gpm mind? ‘Watty ite: always saggst healthy mixture OTABBA athe BEEGEI to get the moment forthe adroom sated. Gime Gimme Gimme alway a crowd plese, ad staying alive aly helps when youre running low on sna and need get that st a ah ah ah this year for YOU! reac sh smh ht Peboat atthe toi tae so Sona tt yor sprog ae ak toyota yo snd ae ap aa cau How? ou tebe fae Se, oe Fatok Then ou ea othe ps oo oF so ithout that late? Willson tlk to your fay ueebook Soom you've ound ourself wing ot and frends about the sue? I'you are wing, your very own opinion on this thing oe to participate i area world way then pou are ‘i t ‘What un you do to enaet rel ehange? Sabmerse sours ia Go to events, fck-organze more rents, rage money. and use that money to Suppor the people a theft lines of the sue. easy to vrwlly ike a pot, tf ies) to Incorporate he ste into your el Me? Cano Facebook: What nex? Are you helping how? Portipating in seta. Sure you are helping youll fel ke youte eee Dutispating nthe movement. However sou ar itu continuing to nore that sl go do in the face of ths thing you fel sy strongly sh swrintoaropionsant tng oo Facebook, = ‘owever this ist the worst thing in the worl ones ita’ what ot ca ee Jost don chim to "he an achat “own jour slacks, be ike, this all goto give Then svete fuck oot oF Merry Christmas. let’s drop the term “alt-right” ‘penelope evans So, this ome shoulda tke that much explaining In think sport that een we nasa Soeil med we recognize that other people read fd espond io and interna thse thts we ‘make public Andi that intrest het strc ‘so-ntiswhat they ae: Naa you ave gy tn Facebook who loves arulng whater oe not Jews are people, whether of not black people Should vote, and whether or not abortion Should Beleza, no matter boe mck “des asst tnd purpenetly bce linguage he coches thse eae i Ft of alls why Bavent you Sire unended that nasty fiche? And Secondly ou sould deny’ hin is en sel Sppointed abel Don't thew unpleasant ‘han red misogynist an whe supremacists {sign themes their wn tie, Altvight?Atemative sight wing? Um, consider Sitermatie eats to be hiking the tx pstem Should be diferent wot arguing rans people Alon exis. Not thinking that sok 10 star puting sweats on ings sain Not dong the itera Nai alte ata Trump's honor Why are we so ready to engage these people? Why Ao ie owe spooling out arguments over Facebook, wing up long eng ed hang ates about them in which we conser their tpt aan dcp Tweeter ‘Should not happen! Un, shoul lesbians be pat through conversion therapy? Do nok adress ne bout iT wl not debate ith ou! Tr dome ‘with hearing fom the devils asst when the ‘dv himself ia the foking door have news {oe you, white boy in psychology who thinks bes peat debater and sn upholierof truth and ‘ettality: the devi has adhoate plenty. Yo. tre being, more accurate the desi Fellow white people: delet your nasty fend on Facebook. That ficker fom your home oem eho wants to bea rapper probly beomte he Supe ell get the chance to sy the wont {nd also thinks abortion tcl nd wore wo “KI abe” shoal go to al: ll hi you age ‘never speaking to naga Tall my do rant to be associat wth hs dgting ews about women abd his aside rasan. Ad al, litera ll your ends to do thi Quit fering thse fol wn they pos the oud ell them where the oxmdarie ae and tell tem tha! boundaries ate mt nega And your uncle dat makes act jokes, tl him to st the fac up Tell in i cont nothing to ‘ot ea redid shitlordevey day Tel i tre isempy, and you know hy Colonial V Post-Colonial Studies {study Aboriginal Studies and English, So doing» double major, but Te thocght abot Ssyetlzng in Abia Studs When aan my journey uiverty learned abot he ncept af “decolontaton, To attempt to arttpate in deolonizing my own ie sate Feaing Tread ae uch de/ant-coloal Tertare as Toul and red wo appl tin ‘ie, Talking omy pent, my end sein ant-impertast mage, breaking dow walls that were erected. by" 'an edeation te on Indoctsinating into serene which te sven to-me ad all of us in Canada fom this Scan was taught ile about heres of the Candin landseape pole, socal erthing. twas jing ounderstan how ot inpertal socket operates rom finding out there are more enslaved poop row then there have ever beet tn recorded ‘Westen history. The conception of “ist rok ereat a hiro” that places other hunt ins continously infer, poston ‘here an “inherent normalization of ‘atria and fervent celebration of excesses Veh caring neatve elements ato our Felstoaships, romani latonie si olherwie Ginyu be bough have had to create a space that allows me to iuderstand the. damaging agpecte of Western clulzation are not the ony aspects i Understanding that other people ae ent to simple acceptance of our morally degrading fate of what we've bee taught the tah hs me centr mel when {el Hk pn oft ‘hehandes at paesors and stents Anexampleof this wasn Cana Literate fourne over the summer. On Nato Aerial Day. Texpeted we might fous stu Aboriginal ‘eters ad thelr contbition to the Cana anon. Who did we sy that ay? Duncan {Cpl Soot You may nt kw who he al ‘you wil have to dot google "Dunean. Set Rack soundly ne to ows sr “There is no disconnect between is racks an the native impart of is ronson ADO peoples. This tl of megative import shoal Fe nocd or downplayed. Allowing the sx’ thisman becauo of is surface eoamection (> ‘Aboriginal penne on thi day i appro ‘Thin exposes lacing iniht nto he a ‘ducaton the general Canadian popes Shoat record histor. Ad owe that hi fs ondesteod. Ha profesor ean think thi sppropcate there ant be something ro There iss ithe sympathy et for people wl remain ignorant. In any of my poston dass take deep reflection serousiy ‘Shwns sto aadetetind the act of estoy on tera word aad the people Involved in the srugle of de-oloiztion ot ‘eademia, tn my clonal lasses we retain the Stns quo nd perpeante owtdsted Mead ‘ertandings of str. Forgotten Lake Blueberry Ale ‘mean rating 6/10 some notes from Rig Larry: eter h Kea oe tastes Mes my ae rack ae Boxer Melon mean rating yp Reet om Spagetti the Jy row eget ‘not mad! Howyt oH daughter tastes kes he: fod efor ay and you a some notes from Sawdust Velociraptor It Feminds me of that eene in To Svea Life where Thepout group makes thse two gy sich {eke an son them inte coea ea & forking ‘rink ik thats oto tastes likes bly, | ecdenaly mised it with [hatter Melon Whe my son was eying in the Sard poredaboter He needs to earn that taped ees are ao the wot gt the world gl Ss the all on transom to Neo Nand cover tht body pel a then ‘smells ke: asin the sun tastes Mes tht anus wo days tr notes from Velvet Tastes GREAT with Max Te Jast oon Row, jt ike me! tastes lke: beer onthe may up, [acer Old English ating 49.98/10 notes from Shirtless Clyde: Lead tastes likes shit bread Hurricane mean rating wow/10 ne) WOW eur Cau uP?" lege Was THis WHEN yh eet Awing 1A) Lp Ae PC Cerveza ‘mean rating 10/10 - ‘some notes from The Littlest Geoff: this i, eee {ase ite Canadian pride, Keli Lath ee (Cinatian pride Progesiv conservative, PC rita i going to be rough for 3, Deeuse hid ta IO 7 fe r Could chase 1 > \ veanna 2 Le, oa Mystery e ‘mean ratings 2/10 ‘some notes from Haley Nips Pll the e ‘age Pile, tastes Ike: parent who tea well bt aio {ole for Tum. sok cose they ee our The Reviews Are In Favorites by rating) Seka a Spee hone Mon [2 thumbsup Shits cal The Ice Man nike Morrison The ice man does not understand social cue Any tearm and soni socal atmosphere is ‘quickly coted by his timed and malopropas emars, “The joe man hat a ie dick, ute doesnt hve ae ik. Revnly comes ring the winter, Fu he cannot cum here He has recoding alitine Which is pride and joy though bethinks ts fn, Rely lok ken, oy. (nacht) ie rfc and ager demeanour ‘But add to them low and childish humour Kn yon may tart od them ater repulsive. Romance forthe oe man etn ‘natrstve its rearions wos ‘Aran eile na struck {By thee tnan's on segutur greeting: ‘ce shit wanna 0” He pays League all dy ‘And ha carpal nh ight hand ‘Theioe man's da of play Ististening oa asc 3: pop band Tenota nice man But wevesll embodied his rst and eno at ne point or another ‘Kintsunerstod joke a wei "oh brother” ‘oo bunt delarations ack of ‘Making strangers uncomfortable wih ardent ey ra too wide gn es nmany of, the ce man fund deep thin, Siting a bis desk elching ld memes: {Ghuelling an seeing under his breath Setrekescrub queen!” The sidewalk won't stop telling me I can’t ee biti, af look you in the eyes Sinem sn SE a mane x Mercurita marganyta golovchenko ‘shed, not sure how to explain iain back home, "C103 foretum tothebasea to dram in golds hue, knowing their wishes” tesa cand-wrapped and oroting Stout udleus of enystalled cost ee eS WANTED: INTERN FOR THE GARG OFFICE DUTIES Wit INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING: ering corree GGETIING 5 HOUR ENGERYS CONSUMING THE 5 HOUR ENERGYS WHILE WE OBSERVE AND LAUGH INTERACTING WITH THE DEADLY MOLD BEAST THAT LIVES In THE BACK (GETTING COFFEE FOR THE DEADLY MOLD BEAST THAT UVES INTHE BACK EXPLAINING THE RULES OF BLLAROS {CARE AND KEEPING OFTHE ANTLER DISENTANGLING THE THOUSAND ELECTRICAL CORDS DEALING WITH "THE STICKINESS” HOUSE CENTIPEDE INVENTORY HOUSE CENTIPEDE NEST CONSTRUCTION REQUIRED EXPERIENCE: PoTosHor INDESIGN IuLusTRATOR MICROSOFT WORD (2003) EXCEL (ANY YEAR) FeNcING HAND 0 HANO comBar (CHARISMA AT LEAST APLUS 2) PLEASE SEND FULL RESUME + AVAL OF YOUR OWN BLO0D AND A TOOTH OR OTHER BONE FROM ‘YOUR GREATEST FOE IN A SELFADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOPE TO THE GARG OFFICE DO NOM CALL TOENQUIRE ABOUT APPLICATION STATUS.

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