Gargoule
-CHRISTMAS CANCELLED-
WE MOURN THE LOSS OF ONDIEK,
WHO SURRENDERED TO THE VOID AFTER NOT
SLEEPING FOR EIGHT DAYS
1993-2016
MAY HE PASS HIS EXAMSé sixty.tv0,
november 28, 2016 Sy
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and ialvays wile. Go ahead and tn that page.
Penelope Beans
sophia park Bator n-Chiet
anya zporodichenko
‘ed chang
Jront cover & back cover
penelope evans
contributors
About us
“The Gargoye is Unversy College's greases student newspaper and pubis every to weeks
‘We area paper that believes sometimes you should be ang. and sometimes you shouldbe loud,
and ifyoa have net hod a voice before, you deserve vice. We don ive print space to bigots and
‘ve dont feign neatly on ses of sacl Justice. Pes Keep your ar nd less sie ove
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ISSN: 0918-0107So You Want to be An Academic?
these habits will take you places
shania perera
1m order to bevome a worldclass scholar you
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Jour whole day Toeked up it your bedroom Sawate asjoud lie Head beck rhe
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his beer boeing te bw mh Year octets godt Yo Ber
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Paragraph Did tha ts ee fra mi brek
fin open al of your soca media pp a
May open Spotty fr some study music
“Once youve nished two fete fae
Tengtheptodes of the" Glimore Girt eval,
‘lanestthe ck overbead and dasover that
time for dinner Sine i elo fo mm season
vou should definitely treat youre to hey
Belping of nk fod, Walk to Burger Ring and
sty your craving, then walk back bome:
Fina, you eam start studying forthe miter
Yo shoald have ben preping forall day Up
pening your” textbook, you wil suddenly
‘emember th ou watt ot ahead sat on
oe research fper this weekend, Open yout
Iapop and babitaly check Facebook Maye
yur ers profile forthe hn tin hs
the sree, Retro Facoa. Check
our ex profile sanin, Take ager tt
Piste; ont ade ede Ete sre
Return to Facebook. Clear your search story
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op youu, cwentivonce tom the Poona
ate Keaton, mE Pelegay and you can't cell me otherwise
rory and paris are
emily 8
Heads up thereare piles for Gore Gir: 0
Hea ef onth pge, because 1 010
thefack in Ready? er we 90
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“The bd news? Rory and Pris are, 80 what
the fk was wth thi “i's 9046 and Bory” and
Paris arin falling relationship with boeing
{etme from their pasts and are not mari
{ater an oo pit er Bmp ee
stn tose, i's ore than just a big banch of
Teter oe toa thoug fale, forced
2 eer fae, freed relationship 1
reg and misnformative and dishonest
can tell you honesty that hereto Be
canta where ory and Par’ rat as
sero mie coment ofa pty where Pars
take nae caper fr male attention st
was Joking egy tat tok me pears 1 UMP
and reverse. had never
ang even een i is wh
it sw thal sone 1 had ila ow to
conceptualize gis Eng or inane Satie
ls as something that Teondeven da
Ad ater sexton of as ng down Lrelas
‘Mian Roy pining ate al the most paintally
heer and py asters
inberie eacpt rf one ight i ont fer
Krom recon 1 had to ake ofthe quer
Shing prc ok
teroemnlty ek ao oat ot ado
ANecaPot th bors thr feted wth
‘Spline y te waning of atenton rom nen
reas profoundly damaging trope for Day wy
Rote te hae watched and T dont wen ot
‘aun tig year fou Lod 206. Al howe
Tang about the suthenty of my ery
Wetheep feting did nt even get the =o
aati Paris na Rory Dace the power
eee Stars Hollow deserves in the revival
|e bonour of that big steaming ile of horsesht,
Trecreatel
sit that Any Sherman Pl
{lense fom. mae Pane
“Takes facing sip Any
+ QLS Na af.e
; 4h SED So ae
RORY Logan! Wake up!
awe :
pase AYEARINTHEL BORA east amin of
7 sete ess a ny dogs
suerte ta Tyke wre sj spe
prety CHUETON. There Fe come
ec ona a a ‘RORY: Shut up. You've dumped. 'm gay
reciting Shakespeat®
Sunt {LoGaN ns sono apd es insta
oxo the ariage 6A RORY baci out of bl and calls an Uber}
ais: Let Pemen mw
AS mn tcurro Te macs
sind i aneaions ST n SEAT OF THE UBER,
eh ater et ema, ai RORY SON THE HONE WITH LOLA]
‘Nore ma oe wa LOREAL You're ga?
ceetaaen HES ih Me Sronr th at Youput nem ececd gay
Sakon =
into es RORY growing up! What kind of mother doesn't know
pas pases en BP aNBED Eciinaer’s guy? mean, you Tead Gertrde
goa SUMS AAKED ae halon onder ot of
rear Toa nae what de ymnn ya a?
carro uss)RORY: Tm gy, mo
RORY: Tin ay oie thn Christ
ORELAT: Where are ou now? Come home
th Orange ste New Black (2013),
Und order in chinese ORY oh wow um
mane: ca RORY tonsa Macs RORY, RORY et
Lose pan oom FADETO,
RORY: Wel have AS PASSED.
KORY: Wel have something take care of 5
ont rr hi Se Pa
RoMca yu to bear me ott Ob wom
Just en thi ea, rd ee
RORY: Whoa, ely?
RORY: Wey, feease ve bee noe wth
PARIS, ‘Sonreee gana dts 0°?Merry Disco Christmas
twetty Bhite
Horible Henry: Ie teen racking my brn to
find ot bow ch Tae does one ret deck,
theta
Wty lite: Ussally having at fast Bote at
hand is recommended. But generally speaking |
tablespoon f enough for most hall although
Feapplicaton may be ruled If oo mh ube
Inlspensea ust beep pumpin ping,
Disco Stan: Does the age of consent go back
70% sandanls at my disco Chrctnas pay
Wet tite: Fuck fo Sta,
Ricky Risky: rm a deatht-ico type of gy
thats ntoa Donna Summers type of i, wht
Sho do aout mya?
‘Went hie sty fk off with hat DTD shi.
Secondly get your a in Une, everyone wants
fubeultre ne do i 1 reomnend wearing
Teopan ine eather and adling «healthy ae
tf iter on your ene body Always remem
toawethe Last Dance for that spec someone
thecub
Lonely Larry: How dot get gi to come ome
with me om the rll nk?
‘ety Bite: Tsay you should make sre to et
het know directly that you want to hve rae
rinktelted sexual encounter wih ut you
find ‘one who down to prove ike: you,
Alternatively you aeshy, bin to wea onl the
Shinyest and 'he tightest othing you can
procure asd boone down on your own ont
Someone falls hopelessly in ne with you at the
Tas allerskate pace i existence fa Oakville
motional Emmi: Fe decided that 1 need to
Sart decorate my ex rom, Twat & 70 fe
wih Chistmne undertones alo eed to. be
Tncredily sede, Can you bel?
‘Wietty Bhi: I doit know when I became an
interior designer ut have some sins got
‘Reommendations, for son. I wok gin with
replacing any’ andl ring in that space nth 5
Inch dep shagearpeting Ale dark ted wil
jst fine For that festive touch Sou can ad
Srl sively coloured shag rears Tua
{H. Bvery ether svaable mora should be :
mrtored wih the exception, of coarse the bed thholidys any recommendations
ad any chair both of hh ahoul be ye oe FO rnd
eee eeeeanenann ares theragethisseasn, hash chemiealsallover your
fal ewels realy says Tm wing to po hat
‘roe Prank: relly enjoy sing bat it dampens ‘extra ler you ong
ty de, hove can I combat this
‘Wety ite: Untrtanately yom wil have to stop
sing to ealy combat his fe,Dsco Kil.
<@ Slacktivism and YOU
Lucky Tay: Tim wondering what Kind of music
vl Set the right mod this hla season, ho
Dohare ono two gpm mind?
‘Watty ite: always saggst healthy mixture
OTABBA athe BEEGEI to get the moment
forthe adroom sated. Gime Gimme Gimme
alway a crowd plese, ad staying alive aly
helps when youre running low on sna and
need get that st a ah ah ah
this year for
YOU! reac sh smh ht
Peboat atthe toi tae so
Sona tt yor sprog ae ak
toyota yo snd ae ap aa
cau How? ou tebe fae Se, oe
Fatok Then ou ea othe ps oo
oF so ithout that late? Willson tlk to your fay
ueebook Soom you've ound ourself wing ot and frends about the sue? I'you are wing,
your very own opinion on this thing oe to participate i area world way then pou are
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t
‘What un you do to enaet rel ehange? Sabmerse
sours ia Go to events, fck-organze more
rents, rage money. and use that money to
Suppor the people a theft lines of the sue.
easy to vrwlly ike a pot, tf ies) to
Incorporate he ste into your el Me? Cano
Facebook: What nex? Are you helping how? Portipating in seta.
Sure you are helping youll fel ke youte eee
Dutispating nthe movement. However sou ar
itu continuing to nore that sl go
do in the face of ths thing you fel sy strongly
sh swrintoaropionsant tng oo
Facebook, =
‘owever this ist the worst thing in the worl
ones ita’ what ot ca ee Jost
don chim to "he an achat “own jour
slacks, be ike, this all goto give Then
svete fuck oot oFMerry Christmas.
let’s drop the term “alt-right”
‘penelope evans
So, this ome shoulda tke that much explaining
In think sport that een we nasa
Soeil med we recognize that other people read
fd espond io and interna thse thts we
‘make public Andi that intrest het strc
‘so-ntiswhat they ae: Naa you ave gy
tn Facebook who loves arulng whater oe not
Jews are people, whether of not black people
Should vote, and whether or not abortion Should
Beleza, no matter boe mck “des asst
tnd purpenetly bce linguage he coches
thse eae i Ft of alls why Bavent you
Sire unended that nasty fiche? And
Secondly ou sould deny’ hin is en sel
Sppointed abel Don't thew unpleasant
‘han red misogynist an whe supremacists
{sign themes their wn tie,
Altvight?Atemative sight wing? Um, consider
Sitermatie eats to be hiking the tx pstem
Should be diferent wot arguing rans people
Alon exis. Not thinking that sok 10 star
puting sweats on ings sain Not dong
the itera Nai alte ata Trump's honor
Why are we so ready to engage these people? Why
Ao ie owe spooling out arguments over
Facebook, wing up long eng ed hang
ates about them in which we conser their
tpt aan dcp Tweeter
‘Should not happen! Un, shoul lesbians be pat
through conversion therapy? Do nok adress ne
bout iT wl not debate ith ou! Tr dome
‘with hearing fom the devils asst when the
‘dv himself ia the foking door have news
{oe you, white boy in psychology who thinks bes
peat debater and sn upholierof truth and
‘ettality: the devi has adhoate plenty. Yo.
tre being, more accurate the desi
Fellow white people: delet your nasty fend on
Facebook. That ficker fom your home oem eho
wants to bea rapper probly beomte he
Supe ell get the chance to sy the wont
{nd also thinks abortion tcl nd wore wo
“KI abe” shoal go to al: ll hi you age
‘never speaking to naga Tall my do
rant to be associat wth hs dgting ews
about women abd his aside rasan. Ad al,
litera ll your ends to do thi Quit fering
thse fol wn they pos the oud ell
them where the oxmdarie ae and tell tem
tha! boundaries ate mt nega
And your uncle dat makes act jokes, tl him
to st the fac up Tell in i cont nothing to
‘ot ea redid shitlordevey day Tel i
tre isempy, and you know hy
Colonial V Post-Colonial Studies
{study Aboriginal Studies and English, So
doing» double major, but Te thocght abot
Ssyetlzng in Abia Studs When aan
my journey uiverty learned abot he
ncept af “decolontaton, To attempt to
arttpate in deolonizing my own ie sate
Feaing Tread ae uch de/ant-coloal
Tertare as Toul and red wo appl tin
‘ie, Talking omy pent, my end sein
ant-impertast mage, breaking dow walls
that were erected. by" 'an edeation te on
Indoctsinating into serene which te
sven to-me ad all of us in Canada fom this
Scan was taught ile about heres of
the Candin landseape pole, socal
erthing. twas jing ounderstan how ot
inpertal socket operates
rom finding out there are more enslaved poop
row then there have ever beet tn recorded
‘Westen history. The conception of “ist
rok ereat a hiro” that places other
hunt ins continously infer, poston
‘here an “inherent normalization of
‘atria and fervent celebration of excesses
Veh caring neatve elements ato our
Felstoaships, romani latonie si olherwie
Ginyu be bough
have had to create a space that allows me to
iuderstand the. damaging agpecte of Western
clulzation are not the ony aspects i
Understanding that other people ae ent to
simple acceptance of our morally degrading
fate of what we've bee taught the tah
hs me centr mel when {el Hk pn oft
‘hehandes at paesors and stents
Anexampleof this wasn Cana Literate
fourne over the summer. On Nato Aerial
Day. Texpeted we might fous stu Aboriginal
‘eters ad thelr contbition to the Cana
anon. Who did we sy that ay? Duncan
{Cpl Soot You may nt kw who he al
‘you wil have to dot google "Dunean. Set
Rack soundly ne to ows sr
“There is no disconnect between is racks an
the native impart of is ronson ADO
peoples. This tl of megative import shoal
Fe nocd or downplayed. Allowing the sx’
thisman becauo of is surface eoamection (>
‘Aboriginal penne on thi day i appro
‘Thin exposes lacing iniht nto he a
‘ducaton the general Canadian popes
Shoat record histor. Ad owe that hi
fs ondesteod. Ha profesor ean think thi
sppropcate there ant be something ro
There iss ithe sympathy et for people wl
remain ignorant. In any of my poston
dass take deep reflection serousiy
‘Shwns sto aadetetind the act of
estoy on tera word aad the people
Involved in the srugle of de-oloiztion ot
‘eademia, tn my clonal lasses we retain the
Stns quo nd perpeante owtdsted Mead
‘ertandings of str.Forgotten Lake Blueberry Ale
‘mean rating 6/10
some notes from Rig Larry: eter h
Kea oe
tastes Mes my ae rack
ae
Boxer Melon
mean rating yp
Reet om Spagetti the Jy
row eget
‘not mad! Howyt oH daughter
tastes kes
he: fod efor ay
and you a
some notes from Sawdust Velociraptor It
Feminds me of that eene in To Svea Life where
Thepout group makes thse two gy sich
{eke an son them inte coea ea & forking
‘rink ik thats oto
tastes likes bly, | ecdenaly mised it with
[hatter Melon Whe my son was eying in the
Sard poredaboter He needs to earn that
taped ees are ao the wot gt the world gl Ssthe all on transom to
Neo Nand cover tht body pel a then
‘smells ke: asin the sun
tastes Mes tht anus wo days tr
notes from Velvet Tastes GREAT with
Max Te Jast oon Row, jt ike me!
tastes lke: beer onthe may up,
[acer
Old English
ating 49.98/10
notes from Shirtless Clyde: Lead
tastes likes shit breadHurricane
mean rating wow/10
ne) WOW
eur Cau uP?"
lege Was THis WHEN
yh eet Awing 1A)
Lp AePC Cerveza
‘mean rating 10/10 -
‘some notes from The Littlest Geoff: this i, eee
{ase ite Canadian pride, Keli Lath ee
(Cinatian pride Progesiv conservative, PC
rita i going to be rough for
3, Deeuse hid ta
IO 7 fe r
Could chase 1 >
\
veanna 2
Le,
oa
Mystery e
‘mean ratings 2/10
‘some notes from Haley Nips Pll the
e ‘age Pile,
tastes Ike: parent who tea well bt aio
{ole for Tum. sok cose they ee our
The Reviews Are In
Favorites by rating)
Seka a
Spee hone Mon [2 thumbsup
Shits calThe Ice Man
nike Morrison
The ice man does not understand social cue
Any tearm and soni socal atmosphere is
‘quickly coted by his timed and malopropas
emars,
“The joe man hat a ie dick,
ute doesnt hve ae ik.
Revnly comes ring the winter,
Fu he cannot cum here
He has recoding alitine
Which is pride and joy
though bethinks ts fn,
Rely lok ken, oy.
(nacht)
ie rfc and ager demeanour
‘But add to them low and childish humour
Kn yon may tart od them ater repulsive.
Romance forthe oe man etn
‘natrstve its rearions wos
‘Aran eile na struck
{By thee tnan's on segutur greeting:
‘ce shit wanna 0”
He pays League all dy
‘And ha carpal nh ight hand
‘Theioe man's da of play
Ististening oa asc 3: pop band
Tenota nice man
But wevesll embodied his rst and eno at ne
point or another
‘Kintsunerstod joke a wei "oh brother”
‘oo bunt delarations ack of
‘Making strangers uncomfortable wih ardent ey
ra too wide gn
es nmany of, the ce man fund deep
thin,
Siting a bis desk
elching ld memes:
{Ghuelling an seeing under his breath
Setrekescrub queen!”The sidewalk
won't stop
telling me I
can’t
ee biti, af look you in
the eyes
Sinem sn SE a mane x
Mercurita
marganyta golovchenko
‘shed, not sure how to explain
iain back home, "C103
foretum tothebasea
to dram in golds hue, knowing their wishes”
tesa cand-wrapped and oroting
Stout udleus of enystalled costee
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