Maraming relasyon ang natatapos nang natatapos sa palitan ng mga mabibigat at masasakit na

salita. Hindi madali ang mga ganitong pag-uusap at dahil sa teknolohiya, may dinadaan
nalang ito sa text o tawag. Ito ay dahil nais nilang iwasan na mag-harap o kaya naman ay para
mapili nang maayos ang mga sasabihin. Ngunit, may ilan din na bigla nalang hindi
nagpaparamdam na tila multong biglang nawawala. Talakayin natin kung ano ang ghosting.
Ang ghosting ay bagong paraan ng pakikipaghiwalay na nagiging laganap na istratehiya na
ngayon. Ginagamit nito ang teknolohiya, na dati ay para sa pagbuo at pagaalaga ng
pagsasama, bilang pag-iwas sa dating karelasyon. Bago man o matagal nang relasyon,
biglang napuputol ang mga pagsasama dahil dito. Walang usap-usap, walang paghingi ng
tawad, pawang katahimikan lamang.

Epekto ng ghosting
Para sa mga ginagamit ang ghosting para makipaghiwalay, ang kanilang mundo ay lumiliit
para lamang maka-iwas sa dating kinakasama. Ganunpaman, ang pinaka naaapektuhan
nito ay ang taong hiniwalayan, Maaari itong magdulot ng ilang problema tulad ng:
• Hindi agad masigurado ang kalagayan ng relasyon. Dahil walang pag-uusap na nangyari,
hindi alam ng iniwan kung Sila ba ay hiwalay na o kaya baka may ibang rason kaya
hindi nagpaparamdam ang karelasyon.
• Sa pagtanggap na tapos na ang relasyon, hindi parin masabi ang kadahilanan ng
paghihiwalay.
• Walang natatanggap na closure.
• Para sa mga relasyon na highly emotionally o physically intimate, maaaring
maramdaman na niloko.
• Sa kawalan ng dahilan ng paghihiwalay, maaaring sisihin ang sarili at isipin na
nagkaroon ng pagkukulang.
• Hindi magawang maiparating ang mga iniisip tungkol sa relasyon at naging
paghihiwalay sa dating kinakasama.
Ayon sa pananaliksik
Sa isang pagsasaliksik noong 201 8, ang 25% mula sa 550 na mga lumahok ay nagsabing
nakaranas na sila ng ghosting. Sa kabila nito, nasa 20% naman ang nagsabi na sila ay
nakipaghiwalay na sa pamamagitan ng paraan na ito. Ayon sa mga mananaliksik, ang
mga statistics na ito ay patuloy na tataas dahil sa mga dating apps na ginagamit sa
pagsisimula ng relasyon, at mga social media para panatilihin ang nabuong pagsasama.
Ano naman ang tingin ng mga tao sa paraan ng pagtapos sa relasyon na ito? Ayon sa
pananaliksik, may ilan na walang nakikitang problema dito. Habang ang mga tao ay mas
naniniwala sa tadhana, mas tinatanggap nila ang ghosting bilang paraan ng pagtapos ng

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relasyon. May ilan din naman ang hindi sumasang-ayon dito. Para sa mga naniniwala na
kayang pagdaanan ng mga relasyon ang mga pagsubok, hindi nila tinatanggap ang
ghosting bilang maayos na pakikipaghiwalay.
Dahil sa natutunan na ito, maaaring malaman kung ang iyong kinakasama ay gagamitin
sa iyo ang ghosting. Kung ang karelasyon ay matindi ang paniniwala sa tadahana,
mayroon silang hindi mababagong mindset sa pag-ibig: perpekto o hindi ito. Para sa
kanila, ang problema sa relasyon ay maaaring senyales na hindi sila para sa isa't isa. Ang
mga sobra ang paniniwala sa tadhana ay maaaring walang makitang rason para
ipagpatuloy ang relasyon. Maaari rin na makita nila bilang pag-aaksaya sa oras ang
pagpapaliwanag kaya maisipan nila gamitin ang ghosting.

(https://ph.theasianparent.com/ano-ang-ghosting)

References
Author, T. A. (2018). Biglaang pagtapos sa relasyon: Ano ang ghosting? Parenting, 1.

How have your relationships ended? For many of us, relationships end with difficult
conversations, hurtful or sorrowful words, or painful exchanges that acknowledge a
relationship isn't working out. These aren't easy discussions. Maybe that's why some
people send the dreaded breakup text — to avoid face-to-face conversations. Still yet,
maybe that's why people ghost.

Ghosting is not a new phenomenon, but it's becoming a more prevalent breakup strategy
now that we're relying heavily on technology to form and maintain relationships
(LeFebvre, 2017). Love affairs of brief or long duration are coming to an abrupt halt
when people virtually disappear. They're just gone. There's no end-of-relationship
conversation, no "Sorry, it's not working out," and no "It's not you, it's me." Just silence.
Ambiguous, confusing silence.

Ghosting creates a number of problems for the ghosted person, including:

You don't know immediately if the relationship is really over, or if there is a different
reason for the person's absence.
Once you start to think it's really over, you don't know the person's motive for ending the
relationship.
You are left to navigate an unsettling lack of closure.

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You may feel like your trust has been violated, especially in highly emotionally intimate
or physically intimate relationships.
You may blame yourself, even with no grounding to do so.
You cannot communicate your thoughts about the relationship or breakup with the other
person.
So why do people ghost?
In one of the few research studies examining the experience of ghosting, 25 percent of
approximately 550 men and women reported having been ghosted, and about 20 percent
said they've ghosted someone with whom they were romantically involved (Freedman,
Powell, Le, & Williams, 2018).

Do those numbers surprise you? It's very possible they'll only increase, as technology
becomes even more entrenched in how people first connect (e.g., Tinder, Match.com),
build a relationship, and then maintain it (e.g., social media, texting).

And some people are totally fine with ghosting. The more that individuals subscribe to
what are called destiny beliefs, which means they think people are either meant for each
other or they're not, the more they tend to think that ghosting is an acceptable way to end
a relationship (Freedman et al., 2018). There are other people, however, who aren't so
keen on ghosting. Indeed, the more that people subscribe to growth beliefs, which means
they think people can work through challenges in their relationships, the more they tend
to reject the idea that ghosting is an acceptable way to end a long-term relationship.

So, if they want out, will your newfound flame ghost you?
It's hard to say; however, one predictor of whether or not a person intends to ghost
someone in the future is the extent to which they adopt destiny beliefs about relationships
(Freedman et al., 2018). If someone has strong destiny beliefs underlying how they think
about relationships, they have a fixed mindset about love: It's either perfect or forget it.
Perhaps they experience a bump in the relationship, and this bump means — for them —
that the relationship wasn't "meant to be." People high in destiny beliefs may see no point
in working on the relationship or even spending the time to communicate that it's over.
Maybe that's why they cut off all contact.

(https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201809/the-truth-
about-ghosting-end-relationship)

References
Ph.D., T. E. (2018). The Truth About Ghosting to End a Relationship. Psychology Today, 1.

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