Міністерство освіти і науки Уі^раїни

Харківський національний університет

імені В. Н. Каразіна

MEN AND WOMEN

"т
Харків 2009
УДК 811.111 (076,5)
ББК81.2 А н г л - 9 2 3
4 75

Рекомендовано до друку Науково-методичною радою Харківського

національного університету імені В. Н. Каразіна
(протокол№6 від 21.05.2009р.)

Рецензенти:
кандидат психологічних наук, доцент кафедри іноземних мов № 1
Національної юридичної академії України імені Ярослава Мудрого
Сеиьонкіна І. А.;
кандидат філологічних наук, доцент кафедри англійської філології
Харківського національного університету імені В. Н. Каразіна
Чорновол-Ткаченко О. О.

Чоловіки та жінки: Навчально-методичний посібник з усної

4 75 практики. Денисов О. І., Довгополова Я. В. - X.: ХНУ імені
В. Н. Каразіна. - 2009. - 84 с.

Навчально-методичний посібник розрахований для занять з усної практики на

другому і четвертому курсах факультету іноземних мов. Відповідаючи
основним цілям навчання англійській мові на даномл' етапі, цей навчально-
методичний посібник направлений на розширення словника студентів і
розвиток навичок усного мовлення.

УДК 811.11 1 (076.5)

ББК81.2 А н г л - 9 2 3

© Харківський національний університет

імені В. Н. Каразіна
Є Денисов О. І., Довгополова Я, В., 2009
© Макет обкладинки Тепляков І. В., 2009
 INTRODUCTION

Give a short summary of this text in English.

Г ЧОЛОВІКИ
I Тисячі років жінок мучить питання: «Що чоловікам
треба?» Але там, де жінки безсилі, всесильна Людина, що
Блефує. Вона знає: чоловікам потрібна Перемога.
Боротьбі за Перемогу присвячене все їхнє життя. Якої
б гімнастики розуму це від них ні вимагало і наскільки
вагомими б не були докази протилежного, чоловіки за striking evidence
всяку ціну пристрасно затверджуватимуть свою перевагу superiority
в усьому. Вони - приголомшливі коханці, неперевершені
дотепники та непереможні спортсмени; вони ніколи не
п'яніють, фантастично розбираються в техніці та мають to get tipsy
безмежний світогляд; вони, поза всяким сумнівом,
блискуче впораються з будь-якою проблемою, яку може
підкинути їм жиггя. А тому жінкам, що зазнають
труднощі у всіх цих областях, без чоловіків ніяк не
обійтися.
Подібний блеф був би неможливий, якби чоловіки не
переоцінювали своїх здібностей. У глибині душі вони to overestimate
усвідомлюють, що їх розумовий розвиток завершився mental
в п'ятнадцятирічному віці. Надалі змінювалася лише development
форма і розмір збитків, які були нанесені їхньою extent
руйнівною діяльністю. Вони змінили дитячі іграшки на
.мобільні телефони й автомобільні стереосистеми,
справжні пістолети, Інтернет, біржу та жінок.
Проте в глибині душі вони хочуть, щоб жінки вірили
в їхню перевагу, яка дозволяє їм із поблажливістю condescendinaly
нас.міхатися над численнішою частиною людства.

ЖІНКИ
Жінки з незапам'ятних часів викликали захоплення, from time
провокували самогубства й війни і занапастили чимало immemorial
добрих імен, але завжди вдавали, що вони тут ні до чого.
Жінки не розуміють інших жінок, та й самих себе теж,
; тоді як чоловіки, стверджуючи, що їм ясно все на світі,
: ось вже мільйони років із радістю заявляють, що жінок не
і розуміють і вони. Ще Теккерей зізнавався: «Коли
; я говорю, що розумію жінок, я маю на увазі, що не
! розумію їх. Всі жінки, яких я зустрічав, були для мене
І загадкою, якою вони, не сумніваюся, є і для самих себе».
Жінкам подобається відчувати себе всезнаючими, omniscient
незбагненними - це викликає в них inscrutable
3
 незвичайно гостре відчуття. Чоловіки вважають за краще
ухилятися від вирішення цієї загадки, абсолютно не to avoid
страждаючи через це докорами з приводу комплексу inferiority
неповноцінності. Адже якщо жоден чоловік не здатний complex
зрозуміти жінку, то хіба можна звинувачувати в цьому
когось з них?
От чому, обговорюючи жінок, завжди майте на увазі,
що пі в кого з тих, що сперечаються, немає ані
найменшого уявлення про предмет бесіди, і отримати
перемогу в суперечці може лише той, хто вправніше за
інших прикинеться знавцем. expert

ВІДМІННОСТІ
Вважається, що чоловіки і жінки рівні - і, проте,
відмінності між ними залишаються. Це вимушені визнати
і ті нетямущі чоловіки, які мають нахабство розглядати thick-headed
жінок як власний різновид, але з вадою, і ті жінки to have the cheek
в робочих комбінезонах, які вважають, що чоловіки - це variety
щось зайве. flaw
Якщо чоловіки вважають себе звичайними, overalls
пересічними представниками роду людського (втім, не superfluous
такими вже і пересічними, розуміється), то жінки знають,
що представляють собою щось особливе, існуюче окремо,
у них свій власний погляд на світ, який належить тільки
їм і нікому іншому.

ФіЗЮЛОІ P f f l l ОСОБЛИВОСТІ
якої точки зору ні подивитися, ніхто не заперечить to dispute
того факту, що чоловіки та жінки скроєні за абсолютно to fit quite
І різними стандартами: different
а) Жінки кругліші, м'якіше на дотик і пахнуть standards
незрівнянно краще. to the touch
б) Усі найголовніші жіночі принади ретельно device
заховані в надрах організму.
в) У жіночому тілі більше жиру - 25 % від маси тіла body mass
в порівнянні з 12,5 % жиру в чоловіків. Це безперечна
перевага, оскільки жир оберігає від холоду і підвищує
жи ггєвий тонус. vitality
г) Немовлята чоловічої статі більші за немовлят
і жіночої статі.
І д) Чоловіки сильніші за жінок. Частка м'язової muscular tis.sue
І тканини в чoлoвiчo.vly тілі майже удвічі більше, ніж в
; жіночому (в середньому вона складає 57 фунтів і 33
ф у н т н , відповідно).
е) Чоловіки на 10 % важче і на 7 % вище, ніж жінки.
 є) Основні внутрішні органи чоловіків (серце, легені, mtemal organs
нирки та інші частини системи виділення) більші; кістки
масивніші.
ж) Чоловіки ідвидше бігають. їм не заважають об'ємні
пристосування на зразок повітряних подушок, що
роздуваються перед шофером у разі аварії.

Мозок
Мозок у жінок побудований також інакше. Чоловічий
мозок у середньому важче приблизно на 5 унцій - це вага
невеликого гамбургера, без булочки.
Дослідження показують, що в корі головного мозку cerebral cortex
жінок міститься більша кількість кліток, що cell
відповідають за слух і здібність до мов; між лівою
і правою півкулями мозку прокладені ширші магістралі, hemisphere
якими пересувається в обох напрямках більша кількість
сигналів. Це означає, що жінки:
— починають говорити в більш ранньому віці
(є свідчення про те, що вони ворушать губами,
знаходячись ще в лоні матері); womb
— виявляють велику спритність рук (жіночі пальці sleight of hand
краще пристосовані для різних тонких робіт - таких, як delicate work
збірка комп'ютера, накладення швів, полірування та stitching
фарбування нігтів);
— більш винахідливі в усному мовленні («Любий,
твій обід у собаці»);
— менш схильні до таких недуг, як нездатність до
читання і заїкання; stammering
— більш уважні до деталей. Якщо попросити групу
хлопчиків і дівчаток намалювати будинок, то хлопчики
майже напевно перш за все обкреслять каркас будівлі, а framework '
потім додадуть трубу, тоді як дівчатка зосередять свою
увагу на дверях і вікнах (із завісочками).
Протягом багатьох століть ці риси жіночого
характеру удосконалювалися та впліталися в складне
павутиння генетичних, культурних, соціальних і
еволюційних чинників, продуктами яких і є сьогоднішні
пані. У минулому, коли озброєні чоловіки натовпами
бл^пкали у пошуках бізонів або вільної жінки, їм було не bison, buffalo
до розмов. Цілком можна було обійтися односкладовими
вигуками та жестами. Жінки ж сиділи в печерах з interjection
дітьми, а за таких умов виникає потреба в моральній moral admonition
настанові, співчутті і щиросердній бесіді: heart-to-heart talk
«Скажи цій старій шкапі, що вона вирядилася, як old bag
молоденька, так вона ще більше пір'я понавтикае». to be dolled up
 «Особисто я до нього і кінчиком списа не торкнулася spear
б».
«Останній раз говорю тобі: не малюй на стінах».
«Якщо додати цих ягід, то м'ясо мамонта розвариться mammoth
краще».
Результати досліджень головного мозку чоловіків і
жінок, підтверджуючи концепцію еволюції двох статей
у'різних напрямах, свідчать, що чоловіки:
— краще орієнтуються в просторі. Цей навик колись
був необхідний для переслідування бізонів у преріях; praine
сьогодні він виявляється в підвищеній здібності до
читання карт і визначення свого місцезнаходження. location
Лабораторні експерименти доводять, що чоловіки краще
за жінок розбираються в обставинах і швидше to understand the
вибираються з лабіринтів, - втім, з таким же успіхом це situation
роблять і щури;
— володіють чіткішою координацією рухів і більшою
влучністю, колись життєво необхідною для того, щоб accuracy
потрапити списом або дротиком в мамонта із відстані dart
в сто кроків, а нині виявляється в здатності дивовижно
точно припаркувати машину у вузькому місці, миттєво
вбити кровожерного розбійника на комп'ютерному полі to kill
бою або уразити всі мішені в тирі. Ледве не кожна гра,
що існує в світі, або вид спорту були винайдені для того,
щоб підкреслити чоловічу перевагу, - за виключенням,
мабуть, тільки художньої гімнастики; callisthenics
— при хорошому освітленні здатні розрізняти на
відстані дрібні об'єкти, особливо рухомі. Це дуже
корисно, коли треба уникнути зустрічі з локатором
автоінспектора.
Слабкий зв'язок між півкулями мозку у чоловіків
може обернутися перевагою. Посередні здібності до
спілкування допомагають їм зосередитися на поставленій
задачі, відкинувши все стороннє, отже, дозволяють діяти
швидко і рішуче в бойових умовах і у всіх інших
випадках, де зайва заклопотаність наслідками стала б preoccupation
явним недоліком.

ЕСТРОГЕН-ТЕСТОСТЕРОН
Жінку робить жінкою перш за все статевий гормон
естроген.
Оскільки естроген бере участь у процесі формування
всього організму, включаючи мозок, гормони роблять
вирішальний вплив на поведінку жінок. Отже, жінка має
право винити саме есгроген у тому, що вона:
 — пускається в нестримні фантазії, спостерігаючи за to let oneself in
роботою мийника вікон; for
— купує одну за іншою банки з мастикою для floor polish
підлоги хоча весь будинок висланий килимами;
— виговорює чоловіку за те, що він «не туди» поклав
її ключі;
— закочує своєму другові скандал у зв'язку з тим, to make a scene
що він розважився на стороні, тоді як той всього-на- elsewhere
всього знаходився під впливом тестостерону.
Тестостерон виробляється чоловічими статевими
залозами і є відповідальним за розвиток чоловічих
статевих органів як в материнському лоні, так і згодом,
коли чоловік виривається на свободу. У ньому-то
і коріниться зло.
Тестостерон робить з хлопчика чоловіка, наділяючи
його:
— низьким голосом;
— волосатістю; hairiness
— статевою потенцією;
— агресивністю.
Тестостерон сприяє розвитку особливих якостей
чоловічого розуму. Від нього залежить, як тіло реагує на
стресові ситуації і справляється з надміром адреналіну. аЬшісіапі
Переповнені тестостероном чоловіки шукають adrenalin
хвилюючих пригод і страхітливих випробувань - таких,
як укласти операцію на мільярд доларів, підкорити
Еверест, перетнути Атлантику в дірявому тазу або
пофліртувати з дружиною кращого друга. На жаль, ця to flirt
схильність до екстриму часто доводить чоловіків до біди.
Вони набагато частіше, ніж жінки, стають жертвами
нещасних випадків, і гине їх при цьому вчетверо більше.
І тестостерон, і естроген містяться як у чоловіків, так
і в жінок, але в різних кількостях. Як виявило медичне
обстеження американських жінок, посаджених у в'язницю
за акти насильства, рівень тестостерона в їхній крові
вищий за норму. Це ще раз підтверджує, що цей гормон
недаремно користується лихою славою. to be notorious

СТВОРЕННЯ ЧОЛОВІКА І ЖШКИ

У кожної людини є набір з 23 пар хромосом chromosome
(генетичних кодувальників, що передають по спадку такі
ознаки, як блакитні очі, криві ноги або смакові переваги. bow legs
До сьомого тижня після запліднення ембріон не має статі,
але потім, якщо судиться йому піти по чоловічій лінії,
звідки ні візьмися, з'являється самотній Y і, підхопивши
jqTOMOcoMy X, утворює з нею пгфу XY, яка і визначає
приналежність до чоловічої статі. Починається виведення
ще одного пана і повелителя. Якщо дитині судиться sovereign
стати жінкою, то хромосомна пара XX бере на себе
турботу про те, щоб ембріон без перепон продовжував without hindrance
свііі розвиток по жіночій лінії.
Хто-небудь з чоловіків обов'язково спробує висунути
аргумент, що це, мовбито, У вирішує всю справу
найрозумнішим і кращим чином. Жінки, проте, можуть
на це заперечити, що Y - вторинний продукт secondary
у порівнянні з X, й до того ж складає всього лише 1/46 від
всіх спадкових ознак. Як мовиться: «Macho — це ще не hereditary sign
mucho» (macho — самець, чоловік; mucho — багато (іеп.))

TEXT A

The male machine is a special kind of being, different from women, children,
and men who don't measm-e up. He is fimctional, designed mainly for work. He is
programmed to tackle jobs, override obstacles, attack problems, overcome
difficulties, and always seize the offensive. He will take on any task that can be
presented to him in a competitive framework. His most positive reinforcement is
victory.
He has armor plating that is virtually impregnable. His circuits are never
scrambled or overrun by irrelevant personal signals. He dominates and outperforms
his fellows. His relationship with other male machines is one of respect but not
intimacy; it is difficult for him to connect his internal circuits to those of otherg. In
fact, his internal circuitry is something of a mystery to him and is maintained
primarily by humans of the opposite sex.
The foregoing is, of course, a stereotype, an ideal that fits no one exactly. Yet
stereotypes exist and exert influence because they are believed a lot of the time by
large numbers of people, and the image of the male machine remains the standard
against which half the population judge themselves.
Boys leam the masculine ideal very early. After the age of six months, boys are
picked up and hugged less than girls. The gap widens as children grow older, with
boys discouraged from asking for human attention and pressured toward autonomy.
By five or six, boys know they aren't supposed to cry, ever be afraid, or (and
this is the essence of the stereotype) be anything like girls. That is why calling
another boy "a girl" is the worst thing one boy can say to another, and why little
boys hate little girls. The strain of trying to pretend that we have no "feminine"
feelings of doubt, disappointment, need for love and tenderness creates fear of those
emotions in ourselves and hostility toward women, who symbolize these qualities.
The attempt to live up to the male stereotype affects almost every area of men's
lives. Friendships between men are often made shallow and unrewarding by the
constant undertone of competition and the need to always put up a tough, impersonal
front. The effort to be invulnerable and avoid emotion leads to mechanical sex and.
when pushed to extremes, to impotence. The notion that we must be perfect
directing the sexual scene with cool dominaricte locks us (and the women with whom
we make-love) into playing the same roles every time, discouraging spontaneity and
variety.
The masculine stereotype makes sports into a compulsion rather than a
corS^ivial pleasure. Because violence is viewed as a male restorative, a way of
getting in touch with the deepest roots of our maleness, the masculine stereotype
makes men resort to it faster in personal relationships and in public policy. The male
ideal tells us that to be real men we must be different from and superior to women,
and thereby makes discrimination against women at work, in social clubs, and at
home an essential prop for masculine self-esteem.
The tragedy is that men are fighting their nature as human beings in trying to
conform to the male ideal. "Male" and "female" characteristics are present in both
men and women, although our culture has done its best to obscure this fact. Through
feminism, women have already begun to recognize this basic truth and to reclaim the
side of life they have been shut out of. Perhaps in the future, men, too, will stop
paying the high price of a restrictive and artificially^polarized sex-role. Perhaps our
lives will be shaped by a view of personality that will not assign fixed'ways of
behaving on the basis of sex. Acceptance of androgyny would allow us instead to
acknowledge that each person has the potential to be - depending on the
circumstances - both assertive and yielding, independent and dependent, job- and
people-oriented, strong and gentle; that the most effective and happy individuals are
likely to be those who have accepted and developed both the "masculine"- and
"feminine" sides of themselves, and that to deny either is to IЙutilate and deform.

Exercise I. Give English equivalents:

досягати рівня, відповідати (вимогам); енергійно братися за роботу;

долати труднощі; посилення, підкріплення; невразливий, неприступний;
перевершувати; близькість; вищезазначений; чоловічий ідеал; стискати в
обіймах; самоврядування, незалежність, самостійність; напруга; потреба в
любові і ніжності; поверхневий; доведений до крайності; святковий, веселий;
перевершувати жінок; відчуття власної гідності, самоповага; робити неясним,
затушовувати; калічити, спотворювати.

Exercise 2. Give Ukrainian equivalents:

designed for work; to override obstacles; to seize the offensive; armor plating;
internal circuits; to exert influence; the gap widens; hostility towards smb; to
symbolize qualities; undertone of competition; invulnerable; to direct with cool
domin^ce; compulsion; maleness; essential prop; to confonn to smth; to reclaim;
restrictive role; to acknowledge; to deform.

Exercise 3. Explain in English:

 to take on any task in a competitive framework; the standard against which half
the population judge themselves; the essence of the stereotype; to live up to the male
stereotype; to put up a tough impersonal front; to discourage spontaneity and variety;
male restorative; discrimination against women; to shape lives by; to assign fixed
ways of behaving.

Exercise 4. Translate the Ukrainian parts of the sentences.

1. Піе stereotype that a male is a special kind of being programmed to attack

any problem у точності не відповідає жодному з моїх знайомих чоловіків but
unfortunately remains the standard against which they оцінюють себе.
2. Boys leam the masculine ideal very early, оскільки їх не заохочують
привертати до себе увагу і підштовхують до самостійності з ранньої віку.
3. As а rule women are thought of to symbolize such qualities as ніжність,
потреба в любові, сумніви.
4. Завдяки фемінізму, lots of women are begiiming to recognize the fact that
чоловічі і жіночі якості властиві bofli men and women. Many of them reclaim the
side of life do якої Ы був закритий доступ.
5. Perhaps in future men will also stop playing штучно полярні ролі. Each man
has the potential to be both поступливіш і напористим, сильним і м'яким,
незалежним і тим, що покладається на допомогу інших людей.
6. The effort to уникати емоційності і відрізнятися від жінок, а також
чоловіків, які не відповідають ідеалу, locks them into playing the same roles every
time.
7. Macho's relationship with other male machines is one of повага, але не
близькість. In fact, його внутрішня „схема " є загадкою в деякій мірі навітьідля
нього самого.
8. The tragedy of most men is that they борються зі своєю природою,
намагаючись відповідати ідеалу мужності
9. The masculine stereotype примушує чо.ювіків часто вдаватися до
насильства в особистих відносинах and leads to mechanical sex.
10. Визнання „чоловічих" і „жіночих" сторін особистості веде до її
розвитку, whereas to deny either is to mutilate and deform.

Exercise 5. Fill in the blanks with these words and phrasies and translate the
sentences.

obscure sexual armor plating characteristics affects

unrewarding compulsions superior to dominance self-esteem
programmed essential prop attempt irrelevant discrimination
dominates . virtually spontaneity restorative reinforcement

1. Macho has (1) which is considered (2) impregnable. His most

positive (3) is victory.

10
 2. The male тасЫпе (4) and ouQwrfonns Ms fellows. He is (5)
women and this regular (6) " against the opposite sex is an (7) for his
masculine (8)
3. Men who are (9) to override obstacles and overcome difficulties refuse
to admit that the (10) to live up to the male stereotype (11) almost
eveiy area of their lives.
4. Life in which convivial pleasures are made into (12) and violence is
viewed as a male (13) is shallow and (14) It lacks variety and
(15) .
5. They say (16) personal signals never bother the male machine who
directs every life and (17) scene with cool (18) . He does his best to
(19) the fact that "female" (20) are also present in him.

Exercise 6. Are these statements true, false or not stated? Correct the false ones.
If the statement is true, enrich it with details. If it is not stated, say
you share the same view.

1. The male machine is designed to tackle problems and take on any job in a
competitive framework.
2. He dominates and overpowers his fellows to attain victory at any cost.
3. Boys hate to be called "a girl" and must not cry.
4. The male machine does not always understand his inner motive and is afraid
of disappointment.
5. Women seldom experience hostility to macho.
6. Friendships between men are characterized by constant competition and
toughness.
7. Women are discouraged by lack of spontaneity and variety.
8. According to the author, androgyny will permit people to become more
effective individuals.
9. Violence is not a women's quality.
10. Happy people can't mutilate or deform other individuals.

Exercise 7. Answer the questions.

1. What is the male machine like?

2. What are the positive and negative aspects of his armor plating?
3. Why does the male ideal in spite of fitting no one exactly remain the standard
for half the population?
4. Why does the gap widen as the children grow up?
5. What do boys hate most and why?
6. How does the attempt to be up to the standard affect men's lives?
7. What is mechanical sex caused by?
8. Why do men resort to violence faster?
9. Why do "real" men favor discrimination against women?
10. What is men's tragedy according to the author?
11
 11. What has feminism taught women?
12. What kind of behavior does the author expect of men in future?
13. How do you understand the author's idea of androgyny? Do you agree with
it?

Exercise 8.

A."Prepare a talk beginning with the sentence:

Пе female machine is a special kind of being...

B. Listen to your group-mates' talks, take notes of the new (not mentioned by
you) points, discuss the controversial ones and unite your efforts in creating
a final description of "the female machine".

Exercise 9.

A. Read and translate the text

The fact that many girls tend to lose interest in math at the age they reach
puberty suggests that puberty might in some sense cause girls to fall behind in math.
Several explanations come to mind: the influence of hormones, more intensified sex-
role socialization, or some extracurricular learning experience exclusive to boys of
that age.
One group of seventh-graders in a private school in Boston gave a clue as to
what children themselves think about all of this. When asked why giris do as well as
boys in math until the sixth grade, while sixth-grade boys do better from that point
on, the girls responded: "Oh, that's easy! After the sixth grade, we have to do real
math." The answer to why "real math" should be considered to be 'Tor boys" and not
"for girls" can be found not in the realm of biology but only in the realm of ideology
of sex differen^iies. -
Parents, peers, and teachers forgive a girl when she does badly in math at
school, encouraging her to do well in other subjects instead. "'There, there,' my
mother used to say when I failed at math," one woman says. "But I got a talking-to
when I did badly in French." Carol Eagles, who directs a program for
mathematically gifted junior high boys and girls on the campus of Stephen Winters
University, has trouble recruiting girls and keeping them in her program. Some
parents prevent their daughters from participating altogether for fear that excellence
in math will make them too different. The girls themselves are often reluctant in
continue with mathematics, Eagles reports, because they fear social ostracism.
Where do these associations come from? u-
The association of masculinity with mathematics sometimes extends from the
discipline to those who practice it. The students, asked on a questionnaire what
characteristics they associate with a mathematician (as contrasted with a "writer"),
selected terms such as rational, cautious, wise, and responsible. The writer, on the
12
other hand, in addition to being seen as individualistic and independent, was also
described as wann, interested in people, and tdtogether more compatible with a
feminine ideal.

B. Make up 2-3 questions to each paragraph and ask your group-mates to

answer them.

С Do you share the view that some people (mainly girls and women) lack a
"mathematical mind"?

D. What sex roles did adults teach boys and girls in your school?

Exercise 10. Points for discussion.

1. Should men and women follow traditional sex stereotypes or would a more
androgynous (andro, male, gyne, female) mixture of traits solve many of our
contemporary hand-ups? Make up a list of "pros" and "cons" and discuss them with
your group-mates.
2. Boys Vvho are strongly feminine tend to have lower overall intelligence,
lower special ability, and lower creativity.
3. An adult has to be assertive, independent, and self-reliant, but traditional
femininity makes many women unable to behave in these ways.
4. An adult must be able to relate to other people, to be sensitive to tiveir needs
and concerned about their welfare, as well as depend on them for emotional support.
But traditional masculinity keeps men from responding in such supposedly feminine
ways.
5. In the modem complex society we need a new standard of psychological
health, one that removes the burden of the previous stereotypes and allows people to
express their best traits. But whether androgyny will allow an individual to greatly
expand the range of behavior and at the same time guarantee a more human and
successful standard of psychological health is an open question; as there are so many
obstacles on the way. •

Exercise 11. Make up dialogues between:

a) two ladies about discrimination against women (one thinks it is man's need to
bolster his self-esteem, the other ascribes it to physical difference);
b) two psychologists about the male, machine (one thinks that it is a workable
stereotype men tend to use as the ideal, the other considers it to be insufficiently
human and psychologically unhealthy); •
c) two teachers about the masculine ideal (one believes that it is instinctive and
the most practical way of dealing with the real world for boys, while the other thinks
that boys are trained to it from infancy);
d) two students about the change supported by the author in Text A (one is
afraid that acceptance of androgyny is likely to increase human sexual problems and

13
result in more violence as women will be more assertive, the other considers that it
will make everyone more intelligent and allow an individual more choices of
acceptable behavior patterns);
e) two parents about the correlation between intelligence and masculinity or
feminity (one says that high intelligence tends to cause an increase in masculinity in
girls, while the other is sure that being very masculine tends to cause lower
intelligence in boys).

Exercise 12. Translate into English.

1. Чоловіки та жінки завжди відрізнялися один від одного, а будь-які

стереотипи, що придумані психологами, є віддзеркаленням перш за все
фізичних особливостей представників двох статей.
2. Я не вірю, що людина може повністю відповідати будь-якому ідеалу.
Немає чоловіків, які б ніколи не відчували потреби в любові або міцній
дружбі, як і немає жінок, які б завжди були лише ніжними, поступливими
і несамостійними.
3. Дійсно, жінки рідше вдаються до насильства і в більшості своїй менш
напористі, ніж чоловіки. Але в даний час є величезна кількість представниць
прекрасної статі, які не визнають чоловічу перевагу.
4. Вищесказане не означає, що традиційних стереотипів вже не існує чи
вони не мають жодного впливу. Просто розрив між чоловіками і жінками не
розширяється, а звужується. Останні перестають виконувати обмежену,
штучно поляризовану роль і навчилися самостійності. Вони легко долають
різні життєві перешкоди, труднощі і мають потенціал для конкуренції з
чоловіками.
5. Дівчаток і хлопчиків у шкільні роки звичайно заохочують віддавати
перевагу різним предметам. Так, навряд чи матері відчитують дочок за погані
результати з математики або фізики. Навіть обдаровані школярки рідко
записуються в математичні кружки, оскільки бояться «суспільного бойкоту».
6. Із досягненням віку статевої зрілості багато школярів втрачають інтерес
до деяких занять, які захоплювали їх раніше. Психологи вважають, що дана
поведінка пояснюється не стільки біологічними чинниками, скільки ідеологією
статевих відмінностей, тобто стереотипами і навіть забобонами так званих
чоловічого і жіночого ідеалів.
7. Анкетування показує, що в даний період підлітки замислюються над
своєю соціальною роллю і усвідомлюють, що характеристики їхньої поведінки
і риси характеру повинні відповідати ідеалам відповідної статі.
8. На жаль, вони не розуміють, що будь-яка людина має потенціал, який
дозволяє їй стати ефективнішою і щасливішою особистістю, якщо він або вона
не боротиметься зі своєю природою і не дозволятиме старим стереотипам
встановлювати жорсткі рамки поведінки.
9. Будь-які спроби стати невразливим або неприступним, бажання уникати
емоцій перетворюють чоловіка на машину, запрограмовану на досягнення
перемоги у сфері його робочої діяльності.
14
 10. Залежно від обставин, сучасні жінки можуть бути жорсткими
і ніжними, незалежними і тими, що сумніваються. Вони не бажають жити
згідно із стереотипами своїх бабусь і прабабусь.

TEXT В

FAMILY

Family is one of the oldest and most common human institutions. The term
family commonly means a group of related persons who share a home. The word
family also refers to a person's ancestors and other relatives. Most families are based
on kinship - that is, the members belong to the family throi:^ birth, marriage, or
adoption of the spouse's children.
There are many types of family structures.
6ne-parent families. In the USA about 14 per cent of all families with
dependent children have only one parent. A one-parent family may be headed by a
divorced father or mother, by a widow or a widower, by a married woman separated
from her husband. Or it may be headed by an unmarried woman.
Nuclear family. When a couple has children, the parents and their children
make up^jiuclear family.
Extended family. If married children and their oftspring live with the parents,
the family is called an extended family. An extended family household might also
include aunts, uncles, and cousins. Such relatives, along with grandparents,
grandchildren, and others, form part of an extended family group even if they live in
separate homes.
Clan. Some cultures recognize a large kinship unit called the clan. A clan
consists of all people who are descended from a common ancestor through their
mother's or father's side of the family.
Other family patterns. "Not all people choose to marry and live in a nuclear
family. For example some married couples decide not to have children. Also, some
couples cdbabit (live together without marrying). They want the companionship of
апоЛег person but prefer not to marry. Some people object to cohabitation because
it conflicts with fheir moral standard^
There can be different family relationships. For example, people may be related
to one another by blood (through birth), by affinity (through marriage), or through
adoption. Most nuclear families consist of a mother, a father, and their biological
children (the children bom to them). Many other nuclear families have members
who are included through adoption or remarriage. When a couple adopts somebody
else's child, the child becomes their foster son or daughter. If the foster parents have
a kid of their own, the latter acquires a foster brother or sister. When a divorced or
widowed parent remarries, the parent's new spouse (husband or wife) becomes the
children's stepfather or stepmother. The children become the new parent's
stepchildren. Children from the couple's previous marriages become stepbrothers

15
and stepsisters to one another. Half brothers and half sisters share either the same
biological mother or the same biological father
; The parents of a person's mother or father are that person's grandparents. Great-
grandparents are the parents of a person's grandparents. An aunt is the sister of a
person's mother or father. An uncle is a parent's brother. An uncle's wife is also
called an aunt, and an aunt's husband is also called an uncle, but they are not a
person's blood relatives. A first cousin is- the child of a person's aunt or uncle.
Cfiildren of first cousins are second cousins to each other, and children of second
cousins are third cousins.
When people marry, they gain a new set of relatives, called in-laws. The mother
of a person's spouse is called a mother-in-law; the brother is called a brother-in-law,
and so on throughout the rest of the family.
Some families 6oristd'er certain fnends as family members because they feel
special'Sftectton for them. Such friends are fictive idn, and family members might
call them by their first names, while children might call their parents' best fiiends
"aunt" and "uncle".

Family problems and their treatment

Almost every family has problems as a normal part of living together. Many
problems can be worked out in the home. But some'problems are difficult to solve.
Unsolved problems may result in unhappmess and lead to a breakdovra of the
family.
The question of divorce can be one of the most serious problems a family may
face. The husband and wife must make a new life for themselves, and the children
may grow up in a fatherless or motherless home.
Couples get divorced for numerous reasons. One of the main reasons is that
they expect a great deal from family life. Many Americans expect the family to be a
constant source of love and persona! satisfaction. However, family members spend
much of their time at work, in school, and at other places outside the home. Thus,
they have limited time together to give one another emotional support.
Other problems may result from remarriages by divorced or widowed people.
Such remarriages create the blended family of wife, husband and each of their own
children. Quarrels between the new couple over their children are sources of conflict
and new divorces. Children by former marriage naturally have mixed feelings about
their new family. They become painfully certain that their biological parents will not
be reunited. Children who were very close to the single parent may feel displaced
and jealous because the stepparent has a special and private relationship with their
biological parent. >
Many families may receive help with some of their problems by consulting a
trained family counselor, a member of the c l e r ^, a social worker, or a psychologist.
Many such specialists use a technique called family therapy. They meet with the
entire family as a group to help them work out their problems together. Various
public welfare agencies offer guidance and economic aid. Other organizations
counsel family members who have specific problems, for instance, help teenagers

16
who have an alcoholic paraiL Other groups aid runaway children or battered
children and wives.
Some people tend to view the femily as separate fiom society. They think all
family ргоЬІеїш can be solved by dealing only with the family. They fail to realize
that the family is part of society and that society ulfluences family life. Such social
problems as drugs, poor housing, and unemployment directly affect family life.
Increasingly, sociologists are fmding that alcoholisin, child abuse, runaway
children, unhappy marriages and certain other family problems are related to
problems in society. They believe that siich family problems can be reduced by
dealing with the social conditions that help promote tfiem. For example, programs
that create new jobs, improve housing, or restrict drug traffic help support family
life. With such programs, the family is no longer solely responsible for overcoming
all the social [Hoblems that affect it

History of the family

Scientists believe that family life began amohg {M^storic people more than
300,000 years ago. It may have developed because of the infant's rteёd of care and
the mother's ability to nurse the child.
The earliest prehistoric people probably lived in groups made up of several
families. They moved йч)т place to place, hunting animals and gathering wild plants
for food. Everyone worked for the survival of the group by searching for food. Some
researchers thmk that the hunting of large game eventually led to a division of labor
between men and women. Such hunting required the hunters to be away from the
camp for hours or days. The women probably found such hunting difficult during
pregnancy and, after giving birth, stayed near home to nurse their young. ТЪеу.
probably gathered plants and hunted near the camp.
The division of labor between men and women may have helped the men gain
power within the family. In many cultures, the women raised crt)ps, and the men
turned from hunting to the herding of goats, sheep, and other animds. A family's
wealth depended on its herd because the animals provided a steady source of food
and could also be traded for other goods. The father controlled the family's herd and ,
thus its wealth. This control gave the father economic power within his family, and
he came to be considered the head of the family. A family in which the father has the
most power is called a patriarchal family.
The family in Western culture developed from the traditions of the pkriarchal
societies. The father remained the most powerful figure in the family. The nuclear
family was common throughout history. But some households included other distant
relatives, servants, or an apprentice, who lived with the family and learned the
father's trade.!
Until the Industrial Revolution began in the I700's, most of the people of
Europe lived in rural villages or small towns. Families produced their own food and
made most of their clothing, furniture, and tools. Most manufactured goods were
produced under the domestic system, also called cottage industry. Under this system,
an enfire family worked together in the home to make clothing, textiles, or other
products for market.
17
 As Western nations became increasingly industrialized, many rural people
moved to the cities to seek factory work. Family life in the city differed from diat in
rural areas because people had to leave home each day to woric. Commonly,: the
mother and children also held a job to help support the family. Family members had
little time together, and Jhe home became less central to family life. Hospitals,
schools, and other social institutions took over many family functions.

Eiercise 13. Give English equivalents:

предок; спорідненість; усиновлення; удівець; удова; нащадок; чоловік/

дружина; зведений брат/сестра; біологічні батьки; двоюрідний брат/сестра;
троюрідний брат/сестра; теща/свекруха; зять/піурин; жорстоке поводження з
дітьми; розлучитися; діти від попереднього шлюбу; вагітність; названі батьки;
впливати на сімейне життя; розподіл праці.

Exercise 14. Give Ukrainian equivalents:

to share home; related persons; unmarried woman; to be descended; to cohabit;

affinity; to remarry; stepfather; stepmother; to consult a family counselor;
psychologist;'battered children and wives;^runaway children;';breakdown of the
family; alcoholic parent; to nurse a child; to give birth; to deal with the social
conditions; steady source of food; to support the family.

Exercise 15. Explain in English:

one-parent family; nuclear family; extended family; clan; Active kin; blended
family; family therapy; fatherless ^r motherless home; to gain power within the
family; patriarchal family; public welfare agencies; poor housing; to control the
family's wealth; cottage industry; to take over the family functions.

Exercise 16. Translate the Ukrainian parts of the sentences.

1) Your relatives on your wife's side are: your wife's sister is your своячка, and
your brother is her дівер, your parents are your wife's свекор і свекруха. Your
wife's parents will speak of you as their зять.
2) Your brother's and sister's sons and daughters are your племінники і
племінниці.
3) Your mother's and father's brothers and sisters are your Дядьки і тітки. The
children of your uncles and aunts are your двоюрідні брати і сестри.
4) Most families are based on кровна спорідненість, шлюб або усиновлення.
The child gets a вітчим/мачуха in case his/her biological parent повторно
одружується.
5) The подружжя who adopt children from other families are called названі
батьки. The пришшк may have молочних братів або сестер if the couple have
their own kids.
18
 6) The remarriage sometimes results in a larger family with єдиноутробні
брати і сестри, якщо згодом у нового подружжя нс^юджуються дітг^
7) Many families in the USA receive help from психологів, представників
духовенства, працівників сфери соцітьних проблем або консультантів з
питань сім'ї. Various public and благодійні організації bffer guidance and
матеріальну допомогу.
8) The family is part of society and such social problems as безробіття,
погані житлові умови та наркотики безпосередньо впливають на сімейне
життя. Unhappy marriages, жорстоке поводження з дітьми, діти-утікачі and
certain other family problems л<ають відношення to problem in society.
9) Деякі дослідники вважають that the hunting of велика здобич eventually
led to a розподіл праці між чоловіками і жінками who lived in groups що
складаються з декількох сімей. The prehistoric women evidently fpund such
hunting difficult during еаг//яи«с/яь. Після пологів вони залишалися вдома
і доглядали дітей.
10) The нуклеарна сім'я developed fix)m the traditions of патріархдльне
суспільство. But some households, especially in the Middle Ages, included далекі
родичі слуги і підмайстри. Under that domestic system, called надомне
виробництво, most manufactured goods were produced by the family. As western
nations became increasingly industrialized the home became less central to family
life and лікарні, школи та інші суспільні установи узяли на себе багато
сімейних функцій.

Exercise 17. Fill in the blanks with these words and phases and translate the
sentences.

by former marriage stepmother grandchild blended

divorced or widowed cohabitation ancestor cohabit
set of relatives brother-in-law household kinship
companionship grandparents - stepchildren cousins
fictive kin descended spouse biological

1. Your mother's and father's parents are your (1) and will refer to you
as their (2) . Someone's second wife will speak of her husband's children as
her (3) whereas the latter will speak of her as their (4) .
2. An extended family (5) includes aunts, uncles and (6) The
clan is a large (7) unit that consists of all people (8) from a common

3. Some people who want the (10) of another person prefer to

(11) though (12) is often disapproved of.
4. After marriage people gain a new (13) . The father of a person's
(14) is called a father-in-law, the husband's brother is called a (15) .
Certain friends for whom you feel special affection may be considered members of
the family, actually being (16) .

19
 5. Remarriages by (17) _ _ _ _ people create (18) families in which
children (19V may become pain&Uy certain that their (20) ^ parents
will not be reunited.

Exercise 18. Are these statements true, false or not statefl? Correct the false
ones. If the statement is-true, enrich it with details. If it is not
stated, say whether you share the same view.

1. Family is a group of related persons who share a home. The term excludes
ancestors. +
2. The nuclear family is a childless family.
3. The clan includes all the distant relatives and even fictive kin.
4. If married children and their offspring live witii the parents, the family is
called extended. ,
I 5. Some married couples decide not to have children because they are afraid to
lose their work.;
6. S(Ome couples cohabit because they don4 love each other.
7. All family problems may be woriced out in the home,
" 8. The lack of emotional support in the families may result in divorce.
9. Trained family counselors and psychologists aid runaway children or battered
children and wives.
10. Family and society are interconnected.
" 11. Family may have developed because of people's need of associating with
each other.
12. Hunting of large game led to a division of labor between men and women.
13. A fhmily in which the mother has the most power is called a patriarchal
family. •
14. Until the Industrial Revolution, most of the people of Europe lived in rural
villages or small towns.

Exercise 19. Answer the questions.

1. What does the word family imply?

2. How do the one-parent and nuclear families differ from each other?
3. Do the extended family and clan mean the same?
4. What other types of family are there?
5. How can people be related to one another in the family?
6. What is cohabitation?
7. What do unsolved problems lead to?
8. Why can't many modem families be a constant source of love and personal
satisfaction?
9. What problems result from remarriages?
10. What sort of help can many families receive with some of their problems?
11. How do social conditions affect family life?
12. What was the family life of prehistoric people like?
20
 13. How did the patriarchal family come into being arid what does the term
stand for?
14. What is cottage industry?

15. How has family life changed since the Industrial Revolution?

Exercise 20.

A. Read and translate the text.

At the beginning of the 17th century a typical London bakery consisted of 13
people: the baker and his wife, four paid employees w4io were called journeymen,
two nmid-servants, two £фprentices, and the baker's three children.
A London bakery was undoubtedly what we should call a commercial or an
industrial undertaking, turning out loaves by the t h o u ^ d . Yet it was carried on in
the house of the baker himself, an ordinary house with a few extra sheds. All these
people took their meals in the house. They even slept there at night: indeed they
were obliged to do so, except for the journeymen. In short, universal custom and the
law of the land obliged these thirteen people to live together as a family.
The only word ever used at that time to describe such a group of people was the
word "family". The man at the head of the group, the man we should call the
employer or mane^er, was then known as the master, or head of the family. He was
father in fact to some of its members, jaj>lace of father to the rest. There was no
distinction between his domestic and economic fimcdons. His wife was both his
partner and his subordinate, a partner because she ran the femily, took charge of the
food and managed the women servants, a subordinate because she was woman and
wife, mother and iri place of mother to the rest.
The paid servants had their specified position in the family, as much part of it as
the children, but not quite in the position of children. The apprentices were even
more obviously extra sons, clothed and educated as well as fed, obliged to obedience
and forbidden to marry, unpaid and absolutely dependent until the age of twenty-
one. And if apprentices were workers who were also children, the children
themselves the sons and daughters of the master and mistisss, were workers too.

B. Make up 1-3 questions to each paragraph and ask your group-mates to

answer them.

C. Do you think that in the traditional patriarchal society of the Middle Ages
when everyone lived his whole life in a family people were happier? Why
(not)?

D. What were the basic values in the patriarchal family of those times?

Exercise 21.

A. Read the text and answer the questions below.

21
 In the past, grandparents, parents, and children used to live together; in other
words, they had an extended family. Sometimes two or more brothers , with their
wives and children were part of this large family group. But family structure is
changing throughout the world. The nuclear family consists of only one father, one
mother, and children; it is becoming the main family structure eveiywhere.
The nuclear family offers married women some advantages: they have freedom
from their relatives, and the husband does not have all the power of the family.
Family structure in most parts of the world is still patriarchal; that is, the father is the
head of the family and makes most of the important decisions. Studies show,
however, that in nuclear families, men and women usually make an equal number of
decisions about family life. Also, well-educated husbands and wives often prefer
sharing the power.
But wives usually have to "pay" for the benefits of freedom and power. When
women lived in extended families, sisters, grandmothers, and aunts helped one
another with housework and childcare. In addition, older women in a large family
group had important positions. Wives in nuclear families do not often enjoy this
benefit, and they have another disadvantage, too: women generally live longer than
their husbands, so older women from nuclear families often have to live alone. /
Studies show that women are generally less satisfied with marriage than men
are. In the past, men worked outside the home and women worked inside.
Housework and childcare were a fiill-time job, and there was no time for anything
else. Of course, this situation is changing. Women now work outside the home and
have more freedom than they did in the past. Why, then, are some women still
discontent?
In most parts of the world today, women work because the family needs more
money. However, their outside jobs often give them less freedom, not more, because
they still have to do most of the housework. The women actually have two ftill-time
jobs - one outside the home and another inside - and not much free time.
The nuclear family will probably continue to be the main family form of the
future. Change, however, usually brings disadvantages along with benefits, and the
family forms of the past had many advantages.

1. Who used to live together in extended families?

2. What advantages does the nuclear family offer women?
3. Why do wives have to pay for the benefits of the nuclear family?
4. Why are some women dissatisfied with marriage?
5. What does change usually bring?

B. Compare and contrast:

1) nuclear and extended families;

2) one-parent and childless families;
3) cohabitation and marriage;
4) the families of your two close friends;
77
 5) the adoption of somebody else's and the new spouse's children.

Exercise 22.

A. Prepare a talk beginning with the sentence:

Most рёорк prefer the family because it provides its members with protection,
companionship, security, socialization and...

B. Listen to yoOr gro^p-mates' talks, take notes of the new (not mentioned by
you) points, discuss the controversial ones and unite your efforts in creating
a final list of at least a dozen well-grounded reasons for family life.

Exercise 23. Have you ever thought what makes a good big family? Translate
the following text and discuss it (argue if necessary the
controversial characteristics or even delete them). Are there any
characteristics that should be added? Explain them.

Wishing to be married is quick woilc, but is a slowly

ripening fhiit. An ancient proverb had it that you cannot
know a man until you and he together have eaten a^gek of
salt. We must steer each other tlirough enough seasons and вести, спрямовувати
weathers so that sooner or later it crosses our minds that
one of us must one day mourn the other. оплакувати
1. Good families have a chief, or a heroine, or a
founder- someone, around whom others cluster, whose оточувати
achievements and whose example spurs them on. підштовхувати
вперед
2. Good families have a switchboard operator- оператор пульта
someone, who plays Houston Mission Control to everyone управління
else's Apollo. This role is assumed rather than assigned.
3. Good families are much to all their members, but
everything to none. Good families are fortresses with many
windows and doors to the outer world.
4. Good families are hospitable. Knowing that hosts гостинний
need guests as much as guests need hosts, they are
generous with honoraiy memberships for friends, whom щедрий
they urge to come early and often and to stay late. Such
clans have surrounding rings of relatives, neighbors,
teachers, students, and godparents, any of whom at any
time might break or slide into the inner circle.
5. Good families deal squarely with direness. Pity the страшна подія
tribe that supposes it can avoid for long the woes to which горе, нещастя
all flesh is heir. Lunacy, bankruptcy, suicide, and other
unthinkable fates sooner or later affljct the noblest of clans.

23
Family life is a set of givens and it lafces courage to see непорушний факт
certaijti givens as blessings rather than as curses.
Contradictions and inconsistencies are givens, too.
6. Good families prize iheir rituals. Nothing welds a об'єднувати
family more t|ian tiiese. Rituals are vital because they
evoke a past, imply a future, and hint at continuity. •
7. Good families are affectionate. This of course is a
matter of style. I know clans whose members always greet
each other with handshakes or, in whafpass for kisses, with
brushes of jawbones.
^ 8. Good families have a sense of place, which these days
is not achieved easily. Most people have no home that is a
symbol of their clvildhood, not even a definite memory of
one place to serve that purpose... all the old symbols are
gone.
9. Good families fmd some way to connect with
posterity. Parenthood, however, is a state which some miss потомство
by chance and others by design, and a vocation to which навмисне
not all are called. -
10. Good families also honor their elders. The wider the
age range, the stronger the tribe.

Exercise 24. Topics for discussion.

1. Do all people need families?

2. Can w6 choose our own families? Why or why not?
3. The Japanese for years have had an honored and quite rigid custom of
adopting nonreiatives to fill gaps in their families. Should we imitate them?
4. If you are voluntary childless, it gets harder and harder with the passage of
time. It's stressful. Is the statement true for both men and women?
5. Our age has lost all the substantial categories of family. Should we devise
new connections to supplement the old ones pr should we revive the latter?
6. Argue that your best friend's family is or is not good femily, following the
definition of what a good family is given in Exercise 23.

Exercise 25.

A. Translate the text and express your attitude toward the following assessment
of homemaking.

As my wife was out of town last weekend, I had to cook

and make sure that the little ones were warmly clothed, that
, they spent some time playmg ciutside, that they got baths,
• picked up after themselves, and so on. In short, I took over прибирати
a series of chores, таїПу of which I would have performed
24
even if my wife had been home.
But I didn4 have to plan anything, schedule anything or
fit anything into an overall draign. I didn't have to see to
my children's overall nutrition; I only had to see that they,
weren't too bored and didn't t e ^ the house down. What I
did was episodic, a combination of housework and
babysitting. What my wife does is part of an ongoing безперервний
enterprise: homemaking. Here is an executive rolej though
neither she nor I had ever thought to describe it as such.
Most "traditional" husbands - whatever jobs they work
at - are likelier to be ignorant (perhaps deliberately so) of
homemaking skills. Homemaking may involve as much a
sense of mystique for these husbands as outside work holds
for their wives. Men of all classes are increasmgly likely
these days to help out with the chores, or even take over for
a spell, as I did last weekend. And if we aren't careful, we на деяким час
come to believe that we can do easily everything our wives
do - if we can only survive the boredom of it.
The men who work at professions spend an enormous
amount of time doing the mirror image of what their non-
career wives may be chided or even openly criticized for докоряти
doing. They talk on the phone a lot (perhaps about
business, but they often aren't doing business). They hold
staff meetings or unit meetings that are hardly different
from coffee klatches. A business lunch with a client for
whom you have no specific proposal at the moment is not
vastly different from a gathering of homemakers in
somebody's kitchenette.
The main difference is that a man gets to call all these
things "work." One reason for the difference is that the
details of homemaking are far more visible (to the spouse)
than the details of work done outside. As a result, husbands
often not only devalue their wives' work but also feel занижувгй'й цінність
perfectly free to question the wisdom of what they do as ставити під сумнів
part of that work. Wives generally know too little about
their husbands' work to question any aspect of it.
None of this should be taken as a proposal that women
be kept out of the labor market. There are women whose
talents are so removed from home and hearth that it would далеке ВІД
be criminal to encourage them to become homemakers. домашнього
There are women who need to earn income, for reasons , вогнища
ranging from fiscal to psychic. Women, who choose careers
outside the home, or who have no choice but to pursue
careers, ought to be free to do so without any
discrimination of any sort.
25
 But there are also women who seek outside work
primarily because tfaey know their homemaking role is
undervalued, by their husbands and by thenBelves. There is
nothing intrinsi&about producing income, on the one hand, притаманнии
or nurturing children and managing a household, on the виховувати
other, that would lead to a natural conclusion that income-
production is of greater value. ТЪе opposite conclusion
would appear likelier, as in the distinction between worker
and queen bees, for instance. But woricer bees don't claim
sole ownership and discretion over what they produce: одноосібне право
they work for the hive. It would go a long way toward власності
changing the onerous working conditions of homemakers повноваження
if we could learn to think of family income as b e l o n ^ g to обтяжливий
the family, not primarily to the person who happens to
bring it home.

В. Answer the questions: "

1. What are the responsibilities and skills of today's homemakers?

2. What do they contribute to happy family life?
3. What is your own attitude toward homemaking?
4. Do you thiiik society's current attitude toward homemaking is likely to change
in the near future?

Exercise 26. Make up dialogues between:

a) a lady who thinks that homemaking is an art and her husband who considers
it a series of more or less unpleasant chores;
b) two men who believe respectively that a decent family life is impossible
without: 1) a good homemaker, 2) a competent breadwinner;
c) a sociologist advocating the opinion that the marriage partner who doesn't
produce income should be the fiscal dependent of the one who does and his
colleague who argues against it;
. ^ a mother who thinks that a non-career wife can never be happy and her
daugnter who is engaged to a rich man and is going to become a homemaker;
c) two feminists who consider any mentioning of homemaking as a woman's
occupation a survival of the male-dominated world.

Exercise 27. Translate into English.

1. Родинні відносини між Людьми бувають кровними або придбаними (за

допомогою вступу в шлюб або через усиновлення). Останнім часом багато
^ездітних пар усиновляють дітей від інших біологічних батьків^ Наприклад, у
ома Круза і Ніколь Кідман двоє таких дітей.

26
 2. На Заході фахівці, що використовують техніку сімейної терапії, не
менш популярні, ніж психотерапевти. У більшості випадків їм вдається
допомогти сім'ї розв'язати її проблеми. Різні благодійні організації пропонують
бідним сім'ям фінансову допомогу та консультації, допомагають дітям-
утікачам, а також дітям і дружинам, що страждають від насильства.
3. Зрозуміло, сім'ю не можна розглядати як щось існуюче окремо від
суспільства. Як стверджують психологи і соціологи, багато сімейних проблем
мають суспільні корені. До їх числа належать наркотики, погані житлові
умови, безробіття.
4. Виникнення сім'ї звичайно пов'язують не тільки з потребами племені
утримати жінок в печері чи селищі з метоїр виховання дітей, але із їх
фізичними особливостями, що не дозволяли їм брати участь в полюванні та
добуванні їжі нарівні з чоловіками, що згодом призвело до розподілу праці.
5. Тепер рідко зустрінеш справжню патріархальну родину. Багато жінок
працюють, щоб підтримати сім'ю економічно або реалізувати свої природні
здібності, тим більше, що десятки громадських установ (дитячі сади, школи
тощо) беруть на себе найобтяжливіші жіночі сімейні функції.
6. Пекарні й кузні в 16-17 століттях були не тільки комерційними
підприємствами, але й великими сім'ями, що включали, крім господаря,
господині і їхніх дітей, учнів майстра, слуг і підмайстрів. Батько сімі" не робив
відмінностей між своїми домашніми і економічними функціями. Його дружина
була його партнером, оскільки займалася сімейними справами. Учні часто
вважалися додатковими синами, яких годували і навчали в сім'ї, вони повинні
були повністю підкорятися господарям і не одержували дарування до 21 року.
7. У сучасних освічених сім'ях чоловік і щ^і'жина вважають за краще
ділити не лише обов'язки, але й владу. Проте багато дружин не задоволено
подружігім життям, оскільки крім кар'єри їм доводиться займатися хатньою
роботою і ростити дітей. У нуклеарних сім'ях працюючі матері вважають, що
вони не придбали, а втратили свободу, позбувшись статусу домогосподарки.
8. Немає сімей без недоліків. У патріархальному суспільстві жінка-
дружина й жінка-мати займали підлегле положення. Зараз, коли жінки
домоглися рівноправності та свободи, діставши можливість працювати поза
домом, вони страждають тому, що їм все одно доводиться виконувати
неприємні домашні обов'язки.
9. Щоб сім'я була дружною, міцною і хорошою, необхідна безліч
передумов. Наприклад, має бути один, а не два лідери, або вожді, тнавколо
якого б групувалася решта членів сім'ї, і приклад якого примушував би їх
рухатися вперед.' Сім'я повинна мати свої традиції і ритуали, серед яких добрі,
привітні відносини між усіма, пошана до старших. Важливо, щоб члени сім'ї
вміли підтримувати у біді і нещасті один одного.
10. Створення домашнього, сімейного затишку - це безперервне заняття,
яке не сприймається чоловіками як серйозна робота і часто критикується. Вони
зазвичай не проти докорити своїм дружинам, якщо дізнаються, що ті (щоб
відпочити) влаштували на кухні посиденьки. „Традиційний" чоловік має
звичку не тільки недооцінювати або навіть свідомо занижувати цінність
27
виконаного за день Дружиною-домогоспод^кою, але й ставити під сумнів
розумність виконаних робіт.

ТЕХТС

MARRIAGE

Marriage is а social institution in special fonns of mutual dependencfe, often for

the purpose offounding and ttoiriitaining families.
Marriage is the relationship between a man and a woman who have made a
-fegal agireement to live together. When a man and a woman marry, they become
htisband and wife. Marriage is also an important religious ceremony in many of the
world's teutons.
Most соїфіез decide to marry because they love each other and want to spend
the rest of their lives together. Each also expects the other to help with many
problems and'I^Sbare certain fespoiisibilities. Ihese responsibilities iriclude Naming
a living, budgeting money, paying bills, preparing meals, and taking care of a home.
Most couples who matry plan to have children and to raise them together. However,
many people choose never to many. Some people who remain single may not find a
mate with Whom they want to share their life. Others may not want responsibilities
required of a successflil marriage. Still others prefer to stay unmarried because they
enjoy theu- mdependence,!
Before people marry, they date (or go out with) members o^ the opposite sex. A
man and a woman who ^ t e each other spend a lot of time together learning to know
the other person. After they have dated over a period of tune, they may fall in love
with each other and decide to b ^ m e engaged, in many cases, the man proposes to
the woman and gives an engagement ring as a token of their agreement to marry.
Betrothal, engagement or formal agreemenf to marry, may take the form of a verbal
promise or a written contract between two individuals. The betrothal is an ancient'
custom dating from biblical times when marriages were arranged by one's parents or
guardians. The use of a ring as an engagement token comes from the ancient custom
of using a ring to seal an important agreement. Some couples may decide to live in a
civil marriage for a certain period of time before they get married.
A man and a woman itiust follow certain laws when they many. The United
States and Canada have basically the same marriage laws. In all except'foiii: states,
both the man and woman mmt be at least 18 years old to many without parental
cbnslht. Most states allow people to marry as young as 16 with parental consent. In
some states, a person under age 16 needs a judge's permission to marry.
According to law, both the man and the woman must freely'consent to marry. If
a person is forced'or tticke^ trito marrying against his or her will, a judge will annul
the wedding. State laws prohibit fncest, which is the marriage or sexual relations
between certain close relatives. Laws also forbid a person to marry if he or she is
married to someone else. A person who marries a second time while a first marriage
is still in effect "commife tlie crime of bigamy.

28
 Some states permit a couple to many even if the bride or grooiii cannot be
present at the wedding ceremony. However, another person must ^ r v e as а 4)гоху,
(substitute) for the absent bride or groom. This type of ipamage is called marriage
by proxy.
In nearly all states, a couple must have a marriage license to marry. Some states
require both the man and the woman to have a blood test before they can obtain a
manriage license. ТЫз test shows whether or not a person has a sexually transmitted
disease.
Most states require a waiting period between the day a couple apply for a
license and the day Шеу marry. This period which averages from three to five days,
gives both people time to make sure they want to marry. The waiting period
developed from a Roman Catholic custom liiat required a couple to announce their
engagement publicly on each of the three Simdays before the wedding day. During
the time before the first announcement and the wedding, anyone who believed that
the couple should not marry was expected to say so. Today, some couples announce
Й1ЄІГ engagement at church services or through church bulletins. Such
announcements are called banns.
Most wedding ceremonies involve two requirements. First, the man and woman
must say'that they want to become husband and wife. Second, the ceremony must
have witnesses (bridesmaid and best-man) and the official who marries the couple. If
the couple has a religious ceremony, it is conducted by a member of the clergy. If a
couple is married in a civil ceremony, a judge or some other authorized official
performs i t When the ceremony is over the newly-weds get their marriage
certificate.
Many couples prefer a traditional religious ceremony, which begins with the
bridesmaid and ushers walking slowly down the aisle to the altar. The groom enters
and waits for the bride at the altar. The bride then walks down the aisle with her
father. At the altar, the bride and groom exchange marriage vows and accept each
other as husband and wife/
Many wedding customs have been popular since -ancient times. For example,
Roman brides probably wore veils more than 2,000 years ago. Bridal veils became
popular in Great Britain and the New World during the late 1700's. The custom of
giving a wedding ring probably dates back to the ancient Egyptians. The roundness
of the ring probably represents eternity^ and the presentation of wedding rings
symbolizes that the man and woman are united forever. Wearing the wedding ring
on the ring finger of the left hand is another old custom. People once thought that a
vein or nerve ran directly from this fmger to the heart.'
After many weddings, the guests throw rice at the bride and groom as a wish for
children and good fortune. Rice was once a symbol оІ fertility, happiness, and long
life. The bride may-toss her bouquet to the unmarried female guests. The woman
who catches the flowers will supposedly be the next to marry. After the wedding the
newly-weds go for a honeymoon. _ /
In most countries, one man marries one woman, and they stay married unless
one of them dies or they are divorced. This system of marriage is called monogamy.
Some"^societies permit polygamy, in which a man has more than one wife, or a
29
woman has more than one husband. The marriage of one man to more than one
woman is called polygyiiy and is practiced by many African and Middle Eastern
peoples. Some societies practice polyandry, the maniage of a woman to more than
one man. -
In certain cultures, marriage involves a gift from the family of the bride or
groom to the other's family. In many societies, for example, the bride's family gives
money pr^roperty to the groom or his family in order to jnarry off their daughter.
Such a gift is called a'^dowry. In other cultures, the groom and his family present
gifts to the family of the bride. This offering is called a bride price.

Exercise 28. Give English equivalents:

розлучитися; придане; вінчання; свідок; закохатися в кого-небудь; зробити

пропозицію кому-небудь; відправитися у весільну подорож; видати заміж;
весілля; ^ і м е н н и й палець; вуаль; чоловік, дружина; зустрічатися з кимг
небудь; батьківська згода; жених; наречена; виховувати дітей; неодружений
(незаміжня); заробляти на життя; обручка нареченої.

Exercise 29. Give Ukrainian equivalents:

to toss the bouquet; altar; marriage vow; to announce somebody's engagement

publicly; bridesmaid; best-man; church service; to annul the wedding; religious
ceremony; to share responsibilities; to take care of a home; to budget money;
marriage license; newly-weds; aisle; civil marriage; to get married; to be forced into
marrying against somebody's will; engagement token; to involve two requirements.

Exercise 30. Explain in English:

bigamy; marriage by proxy; waiting period; incest; monogamy; polygamy;

polygyny; polyandry; banns; church bulletins; civil ceremony; marriage certificate.

Exercise 31. Translate the Ukrainian parts o f the sentences.

1) During the Middle Ages договірні заручини використовувалися для

злігг/нення royal dynasties, estabUsh diplomatic alliances, and increase estates and
fortunes. Until recent times, it remained common for parents to arrange mmiages m
of the worid, especially the Eastern and Muslim countries. In some societies,
цей звичай існує до теперішнього часу.
2) Although today чоловіки' та жінки зазвичай обирають шлюбних
партнерів самі, certain betrothal customs persist. The most popular is дарування
.обручки нареченій ж символ обіцянки одружитися. ,
3) Хоча иілюбні звичаї значно різняться from one culture to another, the
importance of the institution Is universally acknowledged.

30
 4) Моногамія, союз одного чоловіка і однієї жінки, є протогпипом шпюбу в
західних tqxBHOx ааі its most widely асщАнА. form, predominating also in societies
in which other forms of marri^e are accepted.
,5) АД other forms of marriage are, generally classed imder полігамія, що
включає полігінію (чоловік має декілька дружин) і поліандрію (жінка має
декілька чоловіків).
6) Згідно із законами ісламу один чоловік може мати до чотирьох
дружин, all of whom are entitled to equal treatment Polygyny was practiced briefly
in the United States during the 19th century by the Mormons in Utah. ТЪе mcidence
of polyandry is limited to Central Asia, Southern India, and Sri Lankai
7) У країнах, де все ще переважають договірні штоби, families must
negotiate придане, future living arrangements, and other important matters before
marriage can be arranged.
8) Страх кровозміщення is a universal restriction to the freedom of marriage.
In most cases, the prohibition extends to mother and son, father and daughter, and all
offspring of the same parents. In many societies, taboos are broadened to include
marr^aj^^^between дядьками і племінницями, тітками і племінниками,
двоюрідними, а іноді і троюрідними братами і сестрами.
9) The required age for marriage без згоди батьків varies from 16 to 21 for
women and from 18 to 21 for men. "Аналіз крові is now required by most states, and
many states require a випробувальний термін of one to five days between the
issuing of офіційного дозволу на брак і церемонією вінчання (одруження).
10) Двошлюбність і багапгощлюбі^ість заборонені in all states. In most
states it is required that the marriage be formalized before представник
духовенства, or before a qualified public official in a ceremony usually referred to
as a цивільний шлюб, and in all states a свідогрпво про иииоб must be registered
with the civil authorities.

Exercise 32. Fill in the blanks with these words and phrases:

civil marriage take care of home marriage wife

veil single raise children get married
husband wedding rings become engaged , • civil ceremony
share
responsibilities marriage certificate naarriage vows bride and groom
date religious ceremony to earn a living arranged marriages

Almost every society has certain traditional ideas about (1) For
example, most societies expect men and women to marry. Most cultures also have^
traditions about the role duties of a (2) _ _ _ _ _ and a (3) _ . Traditionally, the
husband is expected (4) , and the wife is expected to (5) and
(6) .
Many Americans disregard traditional marriage patterns. For example, a large
number of married couples (7) that have been traditionally handled by either
the husband or the wife.
31
 On the average, men and women, stay (8) ^ longer than they once did.
They (9) • for a long period of time to know each other better. And only at Л е
age of 25 they (10) and (11) . Some couples prefer the traditional
(12) others the (13) • But still a lot of wedding customs are
preserved, such as wearing a (14) • ' . exchanging (15) and giving
(16). ..
An increasing number of people choose not to marry. If a man aiid woman wish
to'avoid marriage, they may decide to live in a (17) ;; , which cannot be
confirmed by a (18)
Most people have never witnessed (19) when a (20) j often met
for the first time on their wedding day.

Exercise 33. Are these statements true, false or not stated? Correct the false
ones. If the statement is true, enrich it with details. If it is not
stated, say whether you share the same view.

1. An engagement ring is used as a token of the agreement to marry.

2. Some couples decide to live m a civil marriage because they cannot get
marriage licenses.
3. Any person irrespective of his age can get mairied without parental consent.
4. A divorced person who marries a second time commits the crime of bigamy.
5. In nearly all states it is impossible to get married without a marriage license.
6. The waiting period gives a couple an opportunity to break their engagement.
7. A religious ceremony can be conducted by a judge or some other authorized
official.
8. The fashion of wearing veils is rather new.
9. At the wedding rice symbolizes fertility, happiness and long life.
10. The bride tosses her bouquet to the unmarried male guests.
11. A marriage is considered to be illegal if a couple cannot produce marriage
certificate.
12. Some people prefer to stay single because they are afi'aid to take the
responsibility.
13. A judge can do nothing if a person is forced into marrying.
14. It is possible to conduct a wedding ceremony if the bride or groom cannot
be present.
15. There must be two witnesses: a bridesmaid and a best-man at the wedding
ceremony.

Exercise 34. Answer the questions.

1. What is marriage?
2. Why do most couples decide to get married?
3. What responsibilities are they supposed to share?
4. Why do some people choose to remain single?
5. What do people normally do before they get married?
32
 6. What is betrothal (engagement)?
7. What are the age requirements for marriage in the USA and Canada?
8. What do state laws prohibit?
9. What do the would-be husband and wife have to do before the wedding takes
place?
10.. What are the requirements of most wedding ceremonies?
11. How do religious and civil wedding ceremonies differ?
12. What wedding customs have been popular since ancient times?
13. What is monogamy?
14. What is dowry?
15. What is a bride price?

Exercise 35.

A. Read and translate the text.

Husband and Wife in law is a relationship between a man and woman

established by the marriage contract and resulting in the creation of certain rights
and obligations between the spouses. A valid marriage is a special type of contract
that can be terminated only in a court of law through divorce or aimulment.
In the USA today the legal status of husband and wife is regulated by state laws
and varies among the states. Although marriage requirements such as age and
permissible degree of relationship differ, each state generally will recognize a
marriage validly contracted in anotiier state. A wife traditionally takes the husband's
surname, but law does not require this.
In the early 19th century the legal existence of the wife was suspended during
m^riage; that is, the husband and wife were deemed to be one person - the husband.
Enactment of the Married Women's Property Acts in the mid-19th century, as well
as later reforms, provided a wife with legal rights from which she was previously
barred, including the right to own property, dispose of her property in a will, sue or
be sued, and sign a contract in her own name.
A 1979 Supreme Court decision determined that both spouses have an equal
obligation to support the other. Nevertheless, the old law, under which the husband
had a duty to support his wife, sometimes dictates the results of disputes on this
question because often he is still the primary breadwinner. Such support generally
extends to "necessaries", a term that will differ depending on prior family^
circumstances and standards of living. This obligation to support may be enforced
under civil and criminal law. In case of death, most states require that a spouse
receive a specified share in the deceased's estate.
In legal proceedings spouses are permitted to testify against each other, except
in criminal cases or when testimony will disclose a confidential communication
arising from the marital relationship. Many states now allow suits between spouses.
Generally spouses are not liable for each other's torts.

33
в. Make up 2-3 questions to each paragraph and ask your group-mates to
answer fliem.

C. Don't you think that before the Married Women's Property Acte were
enacted most American families had enjoyed stability?

D. What may the reasons 1}е for fictitious marriage in the USA and Canada?

Can sham marriages be annulled?

Exercise 36.

A. Read the text and answer the questions below.

I received a wedding invitation from a friend the other day. After the initial
touch of anger at having been invited as a single (no guest, please) I began
experiencing some old unsettled feelings about being a divorced male in a married
world. It's a game invented by Mr. & Mrs. America to perpetuate, symbolize and
elevate a chosen lifestyle. What has continued to trouble me since that first invitation
as a single is the way the game treats unmanieds as outcasts.
The bias against singles begins at the earliest stage of planning a wedding. First,
the betrothed and prospective in-laws parry over who gets to invite how many guests
and who will pay for what - the ballroom, ceremony, music, flowers, menu, picture
albums and videos. Quickly they realize that a consensus must be reached on how to
reduce costs. Obviously the guest list will need to be trimmed. The first casualties
are second cousins, teenagers and anyone who omitted the hosts from a guest list,
gave less than a generous gift in the past or made a mildly disparaging remark about
the bride's mother 25 years ago. Next come the singles. If lucky (or unlucky) enough
to survive the cut, they'll be invito as single only - escorts not welcomeJ
Let's examine why this is unfair:
First, a married person is always invited as part of a couple. It's automatic, a
cardinal rule of the wedding game, accepted by all and inflexible, "Mr. and Mrs." the
envelope reads, although the hosts may not know one of the spouses. That spouse
may be detested by all civilized beings, a blooming idiot, bigot, child molester or
thief. Never mind. The spouse is invited.
Another rule is that a single person may be accorded the special privilege of
bringing an escort if, and only if, that person is currently involved in an "ongoing
and serious relationship."
In the eyes of the married to qualify under the "ongoing and serious" doctrine,
the relationship must: (a) be monogamous, (b) hold out the prospect for marriage
and (c) appear to be moving swiftly in that direction. If the couple in question is
simply lovers, platonic friends or, God forbid, gay or lesbian, well that's too bad.
That's not a real relationship in the eyes of the about-to-be-married - sorry, no
escort!
The last rule may be the most insidious of all. It's cleverly concocted by
Married America to reduce the ranks of the unwed, the millions of us who by fate or
34
design are widowed, separated, divorced or never-married. So what do liosts do?
They become matchmakers, of course, telling their single invites how they'll have
this lovely table by the dance floor all to themselves, and that there's this extra-
special person of the opposite sex who is also coming solo and "is just dying to meet
you."
So there are the singles, conspicuous by their presence, seated at their own
table, at an aflfeir which by nature and intent exalts and pays tribute to the world of
couples in general and marriage in particular. And at the end of the evening - the
ritual herding of all the single females on to the dance floor to see which of them
will be lucky enough to fmd a husband by catching the bride's bouquet.
So this time I will reluctantly tell my friend that I'll miss seeing her in bridal
splendor.
I'm staying home on the wedding day. Pride, foolishness perhaps, prevents me
from asking permission to bring a guest. Having to ask is demeaning.

1. What feelings did the narrator experience when he received the wedding
invitation?
2. What do you think he means by the statement "It's a game invented by Mr. &
Mrs. America to perpetuate, symbolize and elevate a chosen lifestyle"?
3. Do you agree that wedding invitations represent a bias against single people?
Explain your point.
4. is the last rule of the game cleverly concocted by Married America?
5. Do you think the unmarried have their own table because married folk treat
them as outcasts?

B. Compare and contrast:

1) the married and the widowed;

2) the separated and the never married;
3) the newly-weds and the betrothed;
4) lovers and platonic friends;
5) the prospective and actual in-laws.

Exercise 37.

A. Prepare a talk beginning with the sentence:

Single women (confirmed bachelors) are a sect.

B. Listen to your group-mates' talks, take notes of the new (not mentioned by
you) points, discuss the controversial ones and unite your efforts in creating
a final analysis of the lifestyle of different kinds of single women (confirmed
bachelors).

35
Exercise 38, Have you thought of choosing a mate yet? Translate the following
text and discuss it (argue if necessary some or all of the mentioned
methods of meeting the perfect mate or even delete them). Are
there any suggestions of your own? Explain them.

Last month at a seminar we discussed friendship, marriage, and other

relationships. My assignment was to examine the ways that people meet potential
husbands and wives.
First I talked with my roonmiate in the dormitory, a student from Japan.
"What's one way to meet a possible mate?"
"Well," she said, "one method in my country is to have a matched marriage."
"A what?" I asked. "I know you can match a tie to a shirt - or two socks after
you do the laundry. But people?"
"Sure," she replied. "There aren't many arranged marriages these days, but there
were a lot not too long ago. My parents, for example, met each other for the first
time on their wedding day. My grandparents chose their children's mates and
arranged the wedding."
"Do you mean that they weren't in love? That sounds awful! Weren't they
upset?"
"Maybe a little bit," she said, "but they accepted each other. Then, fortunately,
they grew to love each other. They've had a good, successful marriage for the past
thirty years. This happens in a lot of arranged marriages."
The next person I interviewed was Dick, a guy in my social structure class.
"I meet a lot of women in discotheques - at least more than I do on campus," he
said. "The enviroiment of loud music in a disco is exciting, and there are a lot of
people to dance with."
"That seems great," I said.
"I thought so, too, at first," he said a little sadly. "But on the other hand, very
often the women there are unfriendly. A lot of men in discos are too aggressive, and
the women as a result are very cold."
"Discos? Never!" said Sylvia, a student who works part-time in the campus
library. "People aren't natural in places like that. I prefer to make new friends at
places where people have interests in common. I met my boyfriend at the health
club, for example, and it seems that the healthy atmosphere of the gym is continuing
into the relationship that I have with him. But to be honest, there's one problem with
this arrangement."
"What?" I asked.
"The truth is that I really hate to exercise, so I don't want to go to the gym
і anymore. What's my boyfriend going to think when he finds this out?"
"Computer dating services are the answer!" said my friend Agatha. "The
advantage is that you have a lot in common with the people you meet through a
computer. The computer can match you up with someone of your same intelligence,
astrological sign, age, lifestyle, and personality. For instance, you can meet someone
who is creative, competitive, and honest, and you can ask for a scientist, an actor, a
vegetarian, or..."
 "Have you had many successful dates sofer?"I asked.
"I think I made a big mistake when I filled out the £фplication form. I didn4
want to miss a wonderful guy because of an answer that was too specific, so I was
carefiil to write very genend answers."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, there was a question about height I said 'anyone between 3'5" and 7'5".'
Then there was a qiiestion about recreation. I answered "yes' to forty-seven interests,
firam gourmet cooking to camping in the wildemess. I wrote that I liked swimming,
hiking, the arts, comedy movies, quiz shows, mystery stories, business, ethnic foods,
and so on, but I think that the computer got confiised. It hasn't found a date for me
since I sent in the application."
Last, I interviewed a guy in the bookstore.
"Supermarkets," he told me. "I meet a lot of potential dates over the frozen
pizzas in the convenience-food section. Also, it's easy to make small talk over the
tomatoes and lettuce in the produce section. We discuss chemicals and nutrition and
food prices. Sometimes this leads to a veiy romantic date."
1 slowly shook my head: strange... very strange.
That evening I talked with my roommate agam.
"I think maybe your parents and grandparents had a pretty good idea. A
matched marriage is beginning to seem more and more practical to me."

' Exercise 39. Points for discussion.

1. Husbands and wives may leam to love each other after the marriage if they...
2. One сапЧ have a successfol marriage without love... '
3. Romantic marriages never last long...
4. My ideal of a boyfriend (girlfriend)...
5.1 never judge boys (girls) by the impression they make on our furst date...
6. Men and women can't be friends...

' Exercise 40.

A. Read the text and explain carefully whether you still share the common
myths about the modern male.

Are they romantic?

A professor at a Califomian college and his colleagues
began studying 200 college-age couples who were dating
each other exclusively. Fifteen years later he determined
that half had broken up within two years of the initial
study - most often because the woman ended the romance.
The professor concluded, "When it comes to romantic
beliefs, men are more likely to believe that true love lasts
forever and overcomes all obstacles."
If either gender can be labeled romance jUnkie, it's men. прихильник
37
They often fail in love more easily and more quickly then
women, who are apt to consider practical issues in бути схильним
choosing a mate.
Many women complain that tiieir mates are romantic
washouts because they expect men to ftilfd the female невдаха
definition of romance, which has a lot to do with the verbal
expression of feelings. But men tend to clam up after the замовкати
firet heartfelt "I love you". They don't have to reinforce the
intimacy with talk because they feel connected to their
partner merely by being in her presence.

Do they want to avoid marriage?

For many single women, the typical bachelor is a
Houdini, a practiced escape artist who will vanish into thin
air at the slightest suggestion that a relationship become
long term.
According to experts, however, these types are atypical.
Men, in fact, seek marriage in greater numbers than women
do, and very few remain lifelong bachelors: over 90 percent
of American males wed in some point at their lives. Even
after marriage, men are pleased with their decision. In one
poll, 80 percent of married men said they would many their
wives over again, while only 60 percent of women would
choose the same groom.
Moreover, once a man tries marriage, he's hooked. зловити на гачок
Divorced and widowed men remarry at higher rates and in
greater haste than do their female counterparts. ПОСПІХ
When a psychologist asked married men whether they'd
marry again if something happened to their spouse, almost
every husband responded yes without hesitation. Nearly
half the wives, however, said they wouldn't opt for a вибирати, вважати за
second stroll down the aisle. краще

Do they value fidelity?

A landmark study revealed that only 15 percent of серйозний
husbands married two years or less have strayed; among збитися з вірного
men wed a decade or more, not even one in three has шляху
cheated on his wife. зраджувати
More than three quarters of the 1000 men surveyed in an
opinion poll agreed that fidelity is more important to a good
marriage than is a satisfying sexual relationship, financial
security or having children.

Do they agonize over their looks?

Ninety percent of men would like to change some aspect
38
of their physical appearaSce. For an overwhelming majority
of men, being muscular - with wide shoulders, well-
developed arms and chest, and a narrow waist - is as
tyraimcal a. standard for men as being slender is for
women. One survey found that a man's self-esteem is
directly tied to having a muscular upper body. Those who
feel their biceps aren't beefy enough often feel inadequate міцний, м'язистий
and depressed.
Men are dissatisfied with themselves in other ways too.
40 percent of the men surveyed wanted to lose weight, and
another 45 percent wanted to gain weight. One in three
would like to be taller.

Are they insensitive?

Frustration is typical of what many women experience розчарування
when they talk to the men in their lives about feelings and
worries. Seeking comfort and understanding, they receive
only more evidence of what women misperceive as the
male lack of sensitivity.
The real problem is that the sexes have fimdamentally
different conversational styles. For women, conversation is
about rapport - a means of establishing connections, взаєморозуміння
underscoring similarities. Not so for men. Since many men
see themselves as problem solvers, a complaint is a
challenge to their ability to think of a solution. So women
who seek imderstanding from their partner feel frustrated
when they receive advice.

В. Answer the questions.

1. What did the Califomian study show?

2. How do most men actually treat marriage?
3. Aie men as unfaithful as the myth goes?
4. What's the men's typical attitude toward their physicEd appearance?
5. Why do women consider men lacking of sensitivity?

Exercise 41. Make up dialogues between:

a) a separate mother who finds males work-crazed and unromantic and her
daughter just falling in love with a beefy tall policeman;
b) two recently wed husbands about the female idea of romance;
c) an impressionable girl and her fiance who feels finstrated when his genuine
attempts to be caring are met with tears and anger;

39
 d) a wife who accuses her husband of being uncommunicative while the latter
refuses to recognize the spouse as a sensitivity expert and complains of her many
tactless and offending remarks;
-e) spouses married less than 3 years about marital fidelity in general and their
mutual suspicions to each other.

Exercise 42. Translate into English.

1. Шлюб - це соціальний контракт між чоловіком і жінкою, який

у більшості країн супроводжується церковною або релігійною церемонією.
Подружжя зобов'язується ділити певні обов'язки, наприклад, планувати
грошові витрати, сплачувати рахунки і піклуватися про домівку.
2. Весіллю, як правило, передує період, коли майбутні чоловік і дружина
зустрічаються, закохуються і обручаються. У більшості випадків чоловік
робить пропозицію і, коли ії прийнято, дарує кільце на знак обопільної згоди
одружитися. Весілля може бути анульоване, якщо з'ясується, що наре-іену або
жениха вимушують або примушують вступити у подружні відносини.
3. Кругла форма кільця, очевидно, символізує вічність, а звичай
обмінюватися кільцями означає, що чоловік і жінка поєднані назавжди. Кільце
носять на безіменному пальці тому, що люди колись вважали, що від цього
пальця прямо до серця йде вена або нерв. Після весільної церемонії гості
закидають жениха і наречену (або, точніше, вже молодожонів) зернами рису,
бажаючи їм при цьому великої кількості дітей і доброї долі. Це ще один
стародавній звичай, оскільки рис за старих часів вгілюв^ здібність до
відтворення потомства і довге жщтя.
4. За традицією, дружина зазвичай бере прізвище чоловіка, хоча це і не
потрібно згідно із законом. У другій половині минулого століття Верховний
Суд США ухвалив рішення, згідно з яким чоловік та дружина мають однакові
зобов'язання забезпечувати один одного. Проте старий закон все ще не
забутий, і більшість людей розглядає чоловіка як основного здобувана коштів
для існування родини.
5. Подружжя не має права давати свідчення один проти одного лише
в кримінальному суді. У багатьох північноамериканських штатах дозволені
судові позови між чоловіком і дружиною. Як і в більшості інших країн
з розвиненою демократією чоловік або дружина не несе відповідальності за
правопорушення своєї „половини".
6. Американці з упередженням ставляться до незамужніх або
неодружених співгромадян. На весшля їх запрошують в останню чергу, а іноді
і взагалі залишають без запрошення. Зате всі знайомі подружжя можуть
розраховувати на запрошення автоматично, навіть якщо дружину ненавидить
все цивілізоване людство, а чоловік повний ідіот або злодій.
7. Визначитися зі способом вибору потенційного чоловіка - це ціла наука.
Існує безліч комп'ютерних служб знайомств, клубів „самотніх сердець",
шлюбних агентств, астрологів і просто „хороших" людей, які готові за гроші
або навіть безкоштовно допомогти вам у цьому благородному починанні.
40
 8. Деякі жінки а своїх: пошуках поіенщйного ч:ояовіка звичайно
відвідують місця, де можна зустріти багато .представників протилежної статі:
спсфтивні зали, нічні клуби, турпоходи. Вони привертають їх не тому, що ці
установи або заходи здаються жінкам романтичними. Чоловіки також не
відстають. Мій немолодий сусід, наприклад, раз на тиждень ходить на
дискотеїдг.
9. Чоловіки, як це не дивно, є більш романтичними створіннями, ніж
жінки. Вони швидше закохуються і вірять, що справжня любов триває вічно
і може подолати всі труднощі. Рідко хто з них проживає все своє життя
неодруженим. Подружню вірність вони ставлять вище за фінансове
благополуччя,
10. Як жінки, так і чоловіки в масі своїй стурбовані своїми фізичними
даними. У головах у них панують рідні, але однаково тиранічні стандарти.
Жіноче відчуття гідності вимагає довгих струнких ніг і осиної талії, чоловіче -
широких плечей, міщшх біцепсів і великого зросту. Якщо ці параметри
відсутні, бідолахи відчувають себе невпевненими і впадають у депресію.

TEXTD

CHILDREN

Law
The legal relationships of parent and child established шігіег conaytnon law have
been modified by statute in Britain and the USA: In general, such statutes provide
that a married woman is a joint guardian of her children with her husband, with
equal powers, rights, and duties. Either parent has the right to custody of the children
of the marriage, or in a divorce or separation the court can award custody to the
parent best qualified and able to care for the children. Parents must provide for their
children such necessities of life as food, clothing, shelter, education, and medical
care; if they cannot or will not, state laws authorize intervention by designated
authorities to ensure that children's needs are met. Children who are physically or
enfotionally abused by their parents may be the subject of legal action in order to
protect the children. Parents' rights to custody of their children may be limited or, in
extreme cases, terminated because of failure to provide adequate care. Laws r^uire
a father to support his minor children if he is able to do so, whether or not he has
ever been married to their mother. Failure to provide support may result in civil or
criminal proceedings a^inst him. If paternity has been admitted or established, laws
permit children to inherit fixjm their father's estate unldss specifically excluded in his
will.

Parents' mistakes
We had nothing to start with except our talent for self-sacrifice, our compulsion
to set up housekeeping and li ve for the future of our children. So the children rushed
in to fill the vacuum, and with our full cooperation'and blessing they began to dictate

41
the terms of our existence. It became impossible for an adult to make a move
without taking the children into account, without considering them first. If he took
out the car, they had to go along. If he wanted to read a book or make love, they
stomped and stampeded t h r o u ^ the house and demanded their rights to his
undivided attention. They arranged the schedule of meals and determined the hours
when they would go to bed at night and their parents would get up in the morning.
Educated and intelligent women gave up their lives for them, playing with them,
cleaning up after them, worrying over whether they were getting the right food, the
right vitamins, enough love and attention - and all because there was nothing else.
We had created a huge coфorate enterprise of promiscuous baby-making, and other
functions of life had to be set aside to keep it going. Also, it was an expensive
enterprise, in both money and emotional energy. It seemed that everybody one knew
was struggling, scarcely getting by, on their salaries, fretting over new shoes for the
three-year-old and the pediatrician's bills. There was no money and no time for
adventure, excitement, or diversion. The children vrere our diversion, and what they
diverted us from was the cold fact of our failure to conceive of Ufe on any other
terms or to ask for ourselves any larger rewards or richer experiences than those
provided by parenthood.
It is not surprising that the offspring of this way of life, the beneficiaries of all
this love and attention and self-sacrifice, should have grown up contemptuous of us
or convinced that really we were dead all along and only they are alive. How could
people be anything but dead or stupid or insane who had so little regard for their
own needs, who asked so little for themselves? If we gave up our lives for them, it
was only reasonable for them to suppose either that we did not value our lives or that
they themselves must be terribly important to have provoked us to such fantastic
generosity.
So we taught them by our example and by our obsequious treatment of them to
have no consideration or respect for adults and a grotesquely inflated respect for
themselves.

Crime and punishment

Mark Twain said: "It is a shameful tiling to insult a little child. It has its
feelings, it has its small dignity; and since it cannot defend them, it is surely an
ignorable act to injure them."
It would be convenient if there were an effective and suitable punishment to fit
every childish crime. In theory, the punishment should fit the individual child, his
age and his misdemeanor. In practice, even if it were possible to recommend this
neat solution, actual punishments would continue to be influenced by variable and
unpredictable factors. For example a tired mother smacks her child at the end of a
long day for all the irritating things he has done that day, not just for the trivial
offense that finally provoked the slap. An outsider who saw only the isolated
incident might think her harsh or unreasonable, but the child himself probably
understands that the penalty covers a multitude of sins, and that his mother always
gets bad-tempered around this time of a busy day.

42
 According to the recent research nine out of ten parents smack their cliildren.
But only half ot"ihem feel guilty about using it. The statistics is terrifying. Smacking
leads to the children's mental disorder and shock. Tbat is why parents should make
more effort to understand their children because smacking isn't always the best
solution if children are naughty. If only parents tried harder to understand, how their
children feel and why they react in certain ways! For example, they might be jealous
of a new baby brother or they might feel insecure - any number of things might
make the child react badly. Talking to them, trying to explain why you're upset, what
it is they have done wrong is better than hittmg them, because if you hit them they
leam to hit other things, other people, you, and is not a solution to anything.

Exercise 43. Give English equivalents:

опікун; роздільне проживання подружжя; забезпечувати дітей;

задовольняти потреби; неповнолітнііі; талант до самопожертвування; умови
існування; встановлювати графік; укладатися в зарплату; дитячий лікар;
спонукати кого-небудь до; проявляти увагу або пошану до дорослих;
ображати; відповідати злочину; шльопати; дрібна провина; ставати
дратівливим; докладати зусилля; ревнувати до кого-небудь; відчувати
невпевненість, не відчувати себе в безпеці.

Exercise 44. Give Ukrainian equivalents:

by statute; custody; to abuse physically or emotionally; paternity; to inherit

from one's father's estate; to set up housekeeping; promiscuous; to set aside other
functions of life; to fret over; diversion; to conceive; contemptuous of smb;
obsequious treatment; dignity; misdemeanor; unpredictable factors; outsider;
penalty; mental disorder; to react in certain ways.

Exercise 45. Explain in English:

best qualified; to authorize intervention; to be the subject of legal action; to

provide adequate care; to take smb into account; to give up one's life for smb;
corporate enterprise; beneficiaries; to have little regards for one's own needs; to
teach by one's example; grotesquely inflated respect for smb; ignorable act.

Exercise 46. Translate the Ukrainian parts of the sentences.

1. In societies where people tend to live together in extended family groups

Щрбота про дітей і людей похшого віку є природною функцією. У Європі,
проте, люди віддають перевагу нуклеарним сім'ям і if the relationship between
busband and wife breaks down, the children are immediately at risk, and державне
втручання стає необхідним для того, щоб потреби дітей були задоволені.
2. In common law in the United Kingdom and United States, parents - законні
'Опікуни своєї дитини. Вони мають право давати дитині ім'я і зобов'язані
43
забезпе^вати її існування. As custodians, they could reasonably chastise the
child, but for надмірне покарання the parents are criminally liable for assault, or for
homicide in case of death.
3. Батьки забезпечують харчування, житло, освіту і медичне
оба^говування своїх дітей. But а pafent's rights may be terminated in case of
failure to provide adequate care.
4. Laws require щоб батько забезпечував своїх неповнолітніх дітей, навіть
якщо він не був офіційно одружений на їхній матері.
5. If батьківство/материнство has been established, laws permit children
успадковувати майно батька unless specifically excluded in die will.
6. In many families діти диктують умови проживання, і дорослі не
можуть і кроку зробити, не враховуючи інтереси дитини.
7. Raising kids demands both money and emotional energy. Батьки часто
насилу укладаються в зарплату, оплачуючи рахунки педіатрів і магазинів
дитячого одягу. Many educated and intelligrait women відмовилися від
особистого життя зсради своїх нащадків.
8. У таких сім'ях діти зростають зарозумілими і переконаними that their
parents do not value their lives and that they themselves must be terribly important
оскільки спонукали батьків до самопожертви.
9. Теоретично покс^уання повинне відповідати щ}овині дитини, її віку. In
practice actual punishments continue to be influenced by не передбачувані
чинники. For example, роздратована мати може відшльопати сина не за
конкретний дрібний „злочин " but for all the irritating things he has done that day.
10. Якби всі батьки розуміли, чому їхні діти реагують певним чином в
різних побутових ситуаціях, йап children wouldn't suffer from mental disorder
and shock i, напевно, частіше 6 відчували себе в безпеці.

Exercise 47. Fill the blanks with these words and phrases and translate the
sentences.

contemptuous and naughty rights and obligations smack outsider

talent for self-sacrifice undivided attention adults regard for
consideration or respect for by their own example parenthood diversion
set up housekeeping taking into accoimt offspring stomp
subject of legal action obsequious treatment ignorable abuse

1. Common law has a branch that determines the legal (1) of fathers or
mothers to their (2) .
2. Parents who (3) their children physically or emotionally may be the

3. Her wish to live for the future of the children and compulsion to (5)
resulted in no rewards other than those provided by (6) . If she wanted to
read a book, the two pretty daughters would (7) and demand her (8) .
4. My sister has a (9) and her four-year-old is her only (10) ,
excitement and adventure. The little lady, naturally, has no (11) her parents
44
who have so little (12) their own needs. I am aftaid that (13) my
sister and brother-in-law have taught her to neglect (14) . The girl is so
(15) which is actually scarcely surpising (16) the parents'
(17)^ of the baby-sovereign.
5. An (18) , seeing an angry father (19) a sk-year-old son might
find the parent unreasonable and the incident (20) . He is unlikely to
understand that the penalty may cover a multitude of sms.

Exercise 48. Are these statements true or false or not stated? Correct the false
ones. If the statement is true, enrich it with details. If it is not
stated, say whether yon share the same view.

1. The court awards custody to the parent best qualified to care for the children
in case of separation.
2. As a rule, the mother becomes the legal guardian of the children.
3. State intervention becomes necessary if the parents don't take their
responsibilities seriously.
4. The children have taken over everything m this country as there has never
been an aduh society here.
5. Beating the child for misdemeanor has no alternatives.
6. Promiscuous baby-makmg is directly connected with the adult's talent for
selfrsacrifice.
7. Children have more emotional energy and dominate in nuclear families.
8. Some parents have so little respect for their children's needs that they seem
stupid or insane.
9. Parents teach children by their own example and ask little for themselves.
10. Penalty should cover a number of sins and should not fit each trivial
offense.
11. To insult a child is to hurt hisAier small dignity.
12. Kids' contemptuous treatment of adults is Йіе fault of educated women who
gave up their lives for them.
13. Children's mental disorder is influenced by variable and unpredictable
factors.
14. The best solution to kids' grotesquely inflated respect for themselves is
effective and suitable punishment.

Exercise 49. Answer the questions.

1. Do the wife and husband have equal rights to their children?

2. What are parents emitted to provide for children?
3. How does the law of domestic relations protect children?
4. Are all children legally permitted to inherit from their parent's estate?
5. How did children come to dictate the terms of existence?
6. What children's rules of the "game" do adults have to take into consideration?

45
 7. What is the life of adults like after creating a софогаїе етефгізе of
promiscuous, baby-making?
8. Why do the beneficiaries of this way of life grow up contemptuous of adults?
9. What did Mark Twain consider a shameful thing to do and why?
10. What is the theory of effective and suitable punishment?
11. And what happens in practice?"

12. Why should parents make more effort to understand their children?

Exercise SO.

A. Read and translate the text.

Young children are in the process of learning about who
they are as individuals and as members of a broader
society, about how they are alike and different from other
people, and about how people of diverse backgrounds and різний, неоднаковий
experience treat each other.
It is during the early years that children first leam the
label "boy" or "girl" and begin to ask, "What can I and
should I do because I am a boy or a girl?". The more
broadly children answer this question, the more they are
likely to develop to their full potential. Because young
children tend to divide concepts into dichotomous той, що роздшении
categories, they easily form stereotypes about gender, на два
things are for one gender or the other but not the both. In
order to develop a broad definition of their ovm gender and
of what they are capable of doing, children need to be
shown that boys and girls can do a wide range of things,
many of which are common to both sexes.
Young children are developing ideas about morality,
justice, and how people should treat each other. They watch
to see what is considered by others as good and bad as they
try to figure out right and wrong for themselves. Children's
tendency to divide things up into categories - either all
good or all bad, all right or . all wrong - makes them
particularly susceptible to material presented in simple сприйнятливий
black-and-white-terms. Along with all of this, they are also
trying to leam to control their aggressive impulses as they
gradually leam "to use words" and other socially acceptable
ways to express negative feelings.
Developing a sense of trust - a deep belief that the
world is a safe place and that "I can count on being cared
for and kept safe" - is central to healthy development in the
early years. Adults need to create environments in which
children feel that people ^ ^ be trusted to respond in
46
predictable and consistent ways. When children feel safe, послідовний;
they can leam, tiy out new actions and ideas, and explore сумісний
their world. Young children who develop a sense of trust
are more likely to approach new experiences with curiosity,
and openness. Those who leam to see the world as
dangerous and unpredictable are more likely to approach
new events and people with caution, putting more e n e i ^ обережно
into self-protection than into exploring and discovering.
Play is basic to the healthy development and learning of
children. It is a central vehicle through which chilAen
construct ideas and come to understand their experience.
Through the process of play, children can master
experiences that may have been scary or difficult for them; жахливий
they can leam to think creatively, take risks, and solve
problems. But in order for all this to occur, the right
conditions for play must exist. Children need to be in
charge of their own play - they need time, space, and props реквізит
that encourage them to transform their past experiences
creatively through the play process.
During the early years children attempt to do an
increasing range of tasks for themselves as their own
independence and autonomy develop. At the same time
they also leam to participate more and more in relationships
with others. A sense of belonging can help children feel
secure enough to try new things, to experiment, to explore
and experience their autonomy.
To become contributing members of society, children
need to develop a sense of efficacy - a belief that they have сила, ефективність
the ability to affect their world. It is through experiencing
efficacy that children develop feelings of inner strength and
a belief in themselves as competent and capable people
who do not need to fight and use violence to get their needs
met. To develop a sense of efficacy, children have to leam
exactly what actions, skills, and words will have what kinds
of effects in different situations.

B. Make up 2-3 questions to each paragraph and ask your group-mates to

answer them.

C. The sense of empowerment and efficacy; sense of trust and safety; sense of
morality and social responsibility; sense of gender identity - which is the
most important one, in your opinion? Which is the most difficult (easiest)
one to develop? Why?

47
D. Do yon tkink that meaningful play can be a suitable way of developing the
qualities mentioned in С plus that of autonomy? What other ways could
you suggest?

Exercise 51. Read the text and answer the questions below.

Think of all the changes that take place m the hinnan body during adolescence.
TRere is perhaps no other time in our lives when we experience so many dramatic
and, often, conflicting fluctuations. A comforting fact is that everyone goes through
this process in order to get to adulthood.
Your parents went through the same changes and they shared some of the same
concerns. True, the environment they grew up in was quite a bit different from the
one in which you are now living, but many of the feelings and problems are similar.
"Act your age" or "That's so immature." How are adolescents supposed to act?
What does being mature mean?
Physical and sexual maturity takes place during adolescence. Mental,
emotional, and social growth and maturity are also an important part of adolescence.
Yoxmg people want to be treated more adultlike. TTiey want to start taking on
new responsibilities or duties. However, most adults do not automatically give teens
more respotisibility, i.e., using the car, staying out later, traveling alone. Gradually,
as young people demonstrate that they can handle certain tasks and can be trusted;
adults allow them more opportunities to take on additional responsibilities.
ТЪе phenomenon of adolescence has been carefully stodied by psychologists
and sociologists for over 100 years. ІЬеу have identified certain developmental
tasks that can be considered basic to adolescence. A developmental task is something
that needs to occur during a particular age period for a person to continue his or
her growth toward becoming a healthy, mature adult.
A well-known sociologist suggests that there are nine such tasks worked on
throughout the teen years and often into one's twenties. They are:
1) forming more mature relationships with peers of both sexes;
2) achieving a masculine or feminine social role;
3) accepting one's physique and using one's body effectively;
4) achieving emotional independence firom parents and other adults;
5) preparing for marriage and family life;
6) preparing for a career;
7) acquiring a set of personal standards as a guide to behavior;
8) developing social intelligence;
9) developing conceptual and problem-solving skills.
During adolescence important cognitive (intellectual) development takes place.
That is, you begin to learn higher level thinking skills. As a child, you were what is
called a concrete thinker. What you saw was what existed.
During adolescence you develop abstract thinking ability, that is, you are able
to consider alternatives and examine consequences. You can better understand caus^
and effect relationships.

48
 During adolescence, your ability to think logically - reason things out -
increases. You can begin to be able to solve more complicated problems. Your
thinking becomes more flexible.
Puberty is the period ofgrowth from physical childhood to physical adulthood -
a time when an individual becomes capable of reproduction. It is characterized by
rapid, uneven physical growth. Although everyone goes through all the changes,
each person's timeline is different. There is no other time in our lives when there is
such a great variation in sizes and shapes of people who are the same age.
Each individual grows at a certain pace, and each one develops secondary sex
characteristics at certain tunes during adolescence. Prior to the appearance of these
characteristics there is little physical difference between boys and girls other than the
genital organs. With the onset of puberty similarities disappear. Height, weight, hair,
breast development, body hair growth and genital growth all occur.

1. Did parents have problems different from their children's fluctuations during
adolescence?
2. What are the aspects of adolescent maturity?
3. When do adults give teens more responsibilities?
4. What cognitive development takes place during adolescence?
5. What changes occur with the onset of puberty?

B. Compare and contrast:

1) masculine and feminine social roles;

2) concrete and abstract thinking;
3) social intelligence and personal identity;
4) puberty and maturity;
5) teenagers and adults.

Exercise 52.

A. Prepare a talk beginning with the sentence:

Becoming a mature, healthy adult involves...

B. Listen to your group-mates' talks, take notes of the new (not mentioned by
you) points, discuss the controversial ones and unite your efforts a creating a
final list of at least a dozen well-groundcsd arguments in favor of considering
oneself a healthy and mature male or female.

Exercise 53. Have you ever thought that adolescence is probably the most
difficult time for making vital decisions? Translate the following
text and discuss it (argue, if yon don't see eye to eye with the
author's stand and the suggested course of action, counter or even

49
 delete Аеш). What.other vital problems do teenagers occasionaHy
have to tackle? Explain them.

Carol was sixteen, and she thought she was in love. Her boyfriend, a smooth
talker, used every line imaginable to get what he wanted from Carol. He promised to
love and, care for her forever, and so one night in the back seat of his car, Carol
became pregnant. Soon the guy who promised to love and care for her went away,
arid Carol's life was forever altered.
Should Carol have known better? Of course. Was she to blame? Certainly.
However, it's not a new story. In fact, teen pregnancy is more of a problem than
ever, despite all that sex education in schools. The problem and its solutions are well
publicized, so everyone knows the pregnant teen's options; abortion or motherhood
at a ridiculously early age. What most people have not considered, however, is who
should make the decision: the teenage girl or her parents. By law, the teen is entitled
to make the decision, and that is just how it should be.
The most obvious reason that the teenage mother should decide is that she is the
biological parent and hence the responsible party. In the purest physiological sense,
the decision is hers to make. Many parents argue, however, that while the girl may
make the decision, it is the parents who will bear the responsibility because tiiey will
have to house the girl and her child, as well as provide financial support. Parents
looking forward to the end of the bulk of their own parenting responsibilities may
feel particularly burdened by continued support of their daughter and grandchild.
TTiat is certainly mifortunate, but two things must be remembered. Parenthood has
no ending date, so the daughter ~ pregnant or not - remains the parents'
responsibility. They are thus obligated to care for the girl and her child. Also, the
financial burden and crowded house will be temporary. Once the girl graduates from
school and gets a job, she can move out and be more self-supporting. True, she may
still need some help, but her need should gradually lessen.
In addition to the financial aspect, the emotional aspect must be considered. If
parents force their daughter to give up or abort her child when she does not want to,
the decision will haunt her the rest of her life, filling her with pain and regret from
which she may never recover. Imagine the poor girl spending her life wondering
about the child she never knew and hating herself and her parents. What kind of life
would that be?
Many parents would argue that the teenager lacks sufficient maturity to make
such a decision. No one will argue that a teenager is mature enough to fully
appreciate the ramifications of her decisions. However, parents, her doctor, and
counselors can provide her with information, and she will have to make the best
decision she can with that information. Then she will have to live with that decision.
Even adults are forced to make important decisions before they are ready, and they
do the same thing: they get information, make the best decision they can at the time,
and Uve with it. That part of life never changes, regardless of age.
Finally, the most important reason the teenage girl should be allowed to make
the decision is that she probably knows in her heart what is best for her and the

50
 *

child. Her parents may think they know, but the gnl is the better judge. Furthermore,
the parents may decide according to what is best for them rather Шап their daughter.
Teenage p r ^ a n c y is a serious, ongoing problem for both the girl and her
parents. The best way to deal with the decision about the baby is to provide the girl
with all the information possible about her options and their consequences.
Counseling by social workers, religious leaders, and psychologists can help. During
this process, the parents should provide love, support, and acceptance. ТЪеп they
must stand back and let their dau^ter make the decision.

Exercise 54. Points for discussion.

1. No argumentation can convince me that teenagers should be given the right

to make final decisions until they are fmancially independent.
2. What impact does becoming an unwed teenage mother have on her healthy
gft)wth and development?
3. Sexual feelings and love are two different notions.
4. Why do most teen fathers prefer to avoid parenthood?
5. What considerations should you think about before becoming a parent?
6. How would your 10 favorite activities be affected if you were a parent?
7. Teenage love should be controlled by parents.

Exercise 55.

A. Translate the following letters to a teen magazine and express your attitude
toward the two opposing views of the conflict most university students face.

Studying hard
I have always been that person who takes grades too^
seriously. In high school I got a В in gym, ruining an
otherwise formidable row of A's. I cried for two days. Г т a
Virgo.
College was no different: I was there to make grades. Of
ccmrse, that required some discipline. My weekend study
regimen went something like this: On Friday, at around режим
7:00 PM, I headed off to the reading room in the campus
center. At around midnight, I would drive to the Super Stop
& Shop, and buy some food. Saturdays, I liked to study in
my dorm's laundry room. Sunday nights, I read at a coffee
shop.
Not only did I do all the reading, but I handed papers in
early. As I became increasingly single-minded about
studying, I lost all patience for those who were partying.
Their rowdy offenses got in my way. I narked all the time. доносити
One Saturday night, I saw three people sloshing beer at обливати, проливати
, 0 ^ another, inches away from the pool table. Now, the
51
basement lounge was designated as a "common area," and
alcoholic beverages weren't allowed. I marched directly to
the resident assistant and asked her if I could write them написати скаргу
up - like a citizen's arrest.
Another time, the guy who lived next door decided to
blast Phil Collins at 1:30 in the morning. I don't like Phil „вмикати
Collins anytime, let alone after a night of memorizing art
histoiy slides. I knocked on his door and asked him very
politely to obey our hall's "courtesy hours": quiet stereos
after 11:00 PM. He ignored me. After five more minutes, I
called him up and, impersonating Kathy, the third-floor
resident assistant, warned him that if he didn't turn his
stereo down, I'd write him up. The music went off abruptly.
I didn't get through four years of college without
attending a few parties, but the ones that I forced myself to
go to were always a fright. Frankly, they were a waste of
time: noisy, crowded, disorienting. When I did go to
parties, I always left within an hour, back to my dorm, to
the order of my books.
When you go to college, everyone always expects you
to rage. Sometimes it seems like people think there's шаленіти; бушувати
something wrong with you if you don't drink'yourself sick
every weekend. But honestly, I needed my A's to reaffirm
myself 1 once got an exam book on which th^teaching
assistant had drawn red-ink wings and a halo over the A. вшчик, ореол
Yes, I realize it's sort of over the top.

Having a good time

Your parents may tell you that college is ail about
education, your guidance counselor may say it's your
opportunity for career training, and your spinster aunt may
loudly insist that it's for meeting your spouse. But they
probably all agree on one thing: You should lay off the
partying. They'll tell you to get plenty of sleep, do your
homework, and stay out of trouble.
But what none of them are probably willing to admit or
understand is that college is actually your very first chance
to run your own life. True, being in college isn't like being
completely on your own - often, your parents are footing at сплатити рахунок
least part of the bill, which may make them feel like they
have the right to tell you what to do. But even if your
parents are paying for school, they're not there. Want to go
dancing on Monday night? Go ahead. Want to wake up at
noon for a 12:15 lecture? Feel free. You're in charge.
I was slow to explore, or even understand, the liberties
52
of college. I was so well-trained (did someone say
brainwashed?) by my parents to obey the rules of study,
neatness, and silence that I think if left to myself I would
have spent every night hunched over my desk. згорблений
Luckily, I had a freshman-year roommate who knew
much better.
Clint was easily the most hyperactive person I had ever
met. He did everything - homework, phone conversations,
meals - at the same frantic pace. He had no patience for
worrying, second-guessing, or over-preparing. When an
assignment was done, it was done. And he was out the
door.
Fortunately, he forced me to join him. He dragged me
out to show me what 4:00 AM looks like, what a live band
sounds like, and what two hundred dancing classmates
smell like. I couldn't believe how much went on between
ten at night and five in the morning.
"I promise you," Clint would say whenever I resisted
another nocturnal adventure, "you're going to leam more нічний
hanging out with me tonight than you will from any of тинятися
those books."
Sure, our nights out meant I had to do my classwork a
little smarter, a little faster, in order to keep up. And I saw
the sunrise after all-night study sessions as often as I did
after raucous parties. But isn't that the college theme: галасливий
Woik hard, play hard?
It wasn't so tough. I learned pretty quickly that there's
time for both grades and recreation, books and parties.
More importantly, there's a motivation, because once
you've explored the liberties of college, it would be
extremely unfortunate to risk losing them by blowing off a провалити
critical exam or research paper.

B, Answer the questions.

1. What priorities did the first author have in high school and during the four
years of college? How was the goal achieved?
2. How did the author overcome obstacles, presented by those who were
partying?
3. What do adults think college is all about?
4. What is the college theme for the second author? Who influenced him and
how did they enjoy the liberties of college life?

Exercise 56. Make up dialogues between:

53
' а) а career-miftded female student and her rowdy boyfriend^
b) a university instructor and one of his; talented but falling behind students;
c) two students with two mutually exclusive attiti^des toward university life who
share a room in the dorm;
d) two university graduates w^o now consider that they were fools to think
there were only two choices available;
e) a mother and a father fearing to let their daughter run her own life in another
town's university" dormitory.

Exercise 57. Translate into English.

1. Багато батьків вважають, що дитину краще шльопнути, ніж витрачати

час на умовляння та пояснення. Проте це може призвести до серйозних
психічних розладів у дитини. Тому дуже важливо з'ясувати суть п ^ л е м и
дитини, і зрозуміти чому вона поступає так, а не інакше. Наприклад, вона
може ревнувати своїх батьків до молодшого братика чи сестрички або її може
щось непокоїти.
2. Велика кількість батьків відмовляються від багатьох речей заради дітей.
Жінки кидають роботу, щоб піклуватися про них, грати з ними, стежити, щоб
вони одержували потрібні вітаміни і не страждали від браку уваги з боку
дорослих. Але багато дітей сприймають це як належне, і більш того -
зневажають дорослих, які, як їм здається, не цінують своє власне життя.
3. Батькам у таких сім'ях не слід захоплюватися самопожертвою. Що вони
чекають від своїх нащадків в майбутньому, якщо зараз воки вештаються
безцільно по будинку, самі встановлюють час обіду, вечері, вирішують коли їм
йти спати і коли дорослим вставати вранці? Батькам потрібно розуміти
батьківство якось інакше і брати від життя більше, прагнути багатших
вражень, ніж ті, які вони одержують від дітей, що не мають ніякої пошани до
їх потреб.
4. Коли діти навчаться відчувати себе індивідуальностями і одночасно
членами ширшого суспільства, ніж те, до якого вони звикли, одержать
уявлення про мораль і справедливість, придбають відчуття довіри та безпеки,
вони почнуть досліджувати навколишній світ більш передбаченим
і послідовним чином.
5. Ігри є основою для здорового розвитку і навчання дитини. Ігри
допомагають дітям уже в дуже ранньому віці отримати досвід, вчитися думати
творчо, ризикувати і вирішувати проблеми. Проте для цього дорослі повинні
створити відповідні умови, які дозволять згодом розвинути у малюків відчуття
незалежності і самостійності.
6. Юнацькі роки, час фізичного, розумового і статевого дозрівання, це
пора нових вражень і великих помилок. Прагаучи бути схожими на дорослих,
підлітки намагаються розв'язувати нові задачі, брати на себе нову
відповідальність і скоювати серйозні вчинки, які можуть призвести до появи
таких проблем, які й батьки не в силах здрлати. Тому в цей період життя дуже

54
іажлиевми стають турбота і підтримка з боку старших членів сім'ї, поради
йсихологів і соціологів.
7. Підлітки лише починають набувати навички абстрактного мислення,
тому навряд чи здатні завжди правильно оцінювати варіанти розвитку тієї або
нппої ситуації, а також можливі наслідки. Вони лише приступають до
вивчення причинно-наслідкових відносин, і, хоча їх мислення гнучкіше, ніж у
;іцтей, юнаки і дівчата переоцінюють свої здібності думати логічно. Тому цей
період і вважають часом найдоаматичніших коливань у житті людини.
8. Фінансовий тягар, який обтяжує багато батьків, звичайно закінчується,
коли діти отримують роботу і починають управляти своїм життям самостійно.
Але чи готові молоді люди до цього? Чи вистачить знань, од^їжаних у школі,
університеті і сімТ? У багатьох випадках - ні. Позначаються пропуски в
статевій освіті - молоді люди не розуміють батьківських обов'язків. Та і сім'я
звичайно не вчить, як дітям забезпечувати самих себе, і вони посгійно
звертаються до батьків за грошовою допомогою.

TOPICAL VOCABULARY

Family Relationship

1. adopted son/daughter/child - 35. great granddaughter/grandson -

усиновлений(а) син/дочка/дитаяа правнучка/правнук
2. ancestor - предок 36. guardian - опікун
3. aunt-тітка 37. half brother-единоугробний
І. bachelor-холостяк (однокровний) брат
5. best man (bridesman) - дружко 38. half sister - єдиноутробна (однокровна)
(вареченого) сестра
6. bride - наречена 39. heir/heiress - спадкоємець/спадкоємиця
7. bride-groom - н о ч е в и й 40. husband - чоловік
8. brides-maid - дружка (нареченої) 41. kinship - кровна спорідненість
9, brother - брат 42. mother-мати
le. brother-in-law - зять; шурин; свояк; 43. mother-in-law - теща; свекруха
дівер 44. nephew - племінник
11. couple - подружжя 45. niece—племінниця
12. cousin - двоюрідний брат/сестра 46. orphan - сирота
13. daughter - дочка 47. parent - один із батьків
14. danghter-m-Iaw - невістка 48. parent-in-law - свекор, свекруха; тесть.
15. descendant - нащадок теща І
16. ex-husband - колишній чоловік 49. relation - родич, родичка
17. ex-wife - колишня дружина 50. relative - родич, родичка
18. father - батько 51. second cousin - троюрідний(а) брат, \
19. father-in-law - свекор; тесть сестра І
20. f i a n c e - жених 52. siblings - діти одних батьків
21. Иапсёе - наречена 53. sister-сестра
22. first born - первісток 54. sister-in-law - невістка; зовиця: своячка
23. firat cousin - двоюрідний(а) брат/сестра 55. .чоп-син
24. forefather - предок 56. son-in-law - зять
foster brother/sister - мояочний{а) 57. spinster - стара діва; незаміжня жінка і

55
 брат/сестра • 58. spouse(s) - чоловік/жіяка; подружзй*
26. foster mother/father - назваиа(ий) 59. stepbrother/stepsistei^-SBeflemifi
мати/батько брат/сестра
27. godfather/godmother-хрещений(а) 60. stepchild - пасинок/падчерка
батько/мати 61. stepdaughter/stepson - падчерка/пасинок
28. goddaughter/godson- 62. stepfather-вітчим
хрещениця/хрещеник 63. stepmother-мачуха
29. grandchild - онук, онука 64. twins - близнята
ЗО: granddaughter-онука 65. widow - вдова
31. grandfather - дідусь 66. widower-вдівець
32. grandmother-б^уся 67. wife-дружина
33. grandson-онук
34. great grandfather/grandmother -
прадід/прабабуся

Types of Family

1. clan - клан
2. extended family - сім'я, яка складається з батьків, дітей та близьких родичів
3. immediate family - найближчі родичі
4. nuclear family - нуклеарна сім'я; сім'я, яка складається з батьків та дітей
5. single-parent/one-parent family - сім'я, в якій є лише один з батьків

Events and Processes

1. alimony - аліменти 25. honeymoon - медовий місяць

2. attend/be present at a wedding -
відвіцати/бути присутнім на весіллі
3. betrothal - заручини, сватання
4. bigamy - двошлюбність; двоєженство;
двоємужжя
5. birth - народження
6. birth certificate - свідоцтво про
народження
7. birthday - день народження
8. celebrate one's wedding - святкувати
весілля
9. child care - догляд за дітьми
10. christen - хрестити
11. christening - хрещення, хрестини
12. confirmation - конфірмація
13. date - ходити на побачення
14. divorce - розлучатися
15. dowry - придане
16. engaged - заручений
17. engagement - заручини
18. engagement ring - обручка нареченої
19. funeral - похорон
20. get divorced from - розлучитися з
21. get engaged to - заручитися з
26. incest - кровозмішення
27. marriage - шлюб
28. marriage by proxy - шлюб за дорученням
29. married - одружений; заміжня
30. marry someone - вийти заміж за;
одружитися на
31. matriarchy - матріархат
32. monogamy - моногамія, одношлюбність
33. newly-weds - молодожони
34. official ceremony - офіційна церемонія
35. parental consent - батьківська згода
36. patriarchy - патріархат
37. polygamy - полігамія, багатошлюбність
38. polygyny - полігінія, багатоженство
39. pregnancy - вагітність
40. propose - освідчуватися у коханні,
запропонувати руку й серце
41. religious ceremony - релігійна церемонія
42. separate - розходитися, розлучатися
43. single - неодружений; незаміжня
44. start/end relationship with someone -
розпочати/закінчити відносини з кимсь
45. toss а bouquet - кидати букет
46. wedding - весілля

56
22. get married to - одружнтися з 47. wedding-day - деть весідля
23. get OD wdl with someone - добре лаяиаіи 48. weddingring- весільна обручка
з кимсь
24. golden wedding - золоте весілля _

VOCABULARY AND CONSOLroATION EXERCISES

Exercise 58. Match the words in columns A and B.

A В
1 widower a єдиноутробний брат
2 spinster b хрестити
3 adopted son с освідчуватися у коханні
4 foster brother d вдівеї^
5 bachelor e предок
6 christen f стара діва
7 get engaged g нащадок
8 ancestor h усиновлений син
9 propose і молочкйй брат
10 descendant j холостяк
11 halfbrother к заручитися

Exercise 59. Give Ukrainian equivalents:

forefather, bridesman; get on weli with someone; toss a bouquet; parent-in-

law; godson; separate fiancee; alimony; siblings; guardian; stepdaughter, betrothal;
confirmation; parental consent.

Exercise 60. Match the words in column A with their definitions in column B.

А В
1 bride a a written declaration of one's birth
2 brother-in-law b a husband or a wife ,
3 ex-wife с a family including mother, father and children
4 extended family d two children bom of the same mother at the same time
5 foster parent e a woman newly married or about to be married
6 spouse f a procession of persons on the occasion of a burial
7 twins g the brother of one's husband or wife
8 birth certificate h a family including aunts, uncles and other relatives
9 golden wedding і a former wife
10 funeral j a person who looks after a child not his or her own
nuclear family к the 50th wedding anniversary

57
Exercise 61. Fill in the blanks with these words and phrases.

in-laws first cousins

feuds step-mother
uncles rivalry
by blood half-brothers
mece siblings

Your closest relatives are your parents: your mother and father; and your
(1) (brothers or sisters). If your mother or father is not an only child, you
also have aunts and/or (2) .
If your aunts or uncles have children, they are your (3) Your female
cousin is your mother's (or father's) (4) , while a male cousin is the nephew
of your mother and father.
When you marry, your husband's (or wife's) family become your (5) .
The term in-law is also used to describe your relationship with the spouses of your
siblings.
If your mother or father remarries, you can acquire a new family and set of
relatives. For example, if your father marries a second wife, she becomes your
(6 ) . Any children she already has become your step-sisters or step-brothers.
If your mother or father remarries and has children, they become your
(7 ) or half-sisters.
You might also hear people talking about their biological brother/sister etc, to
mean a brother who is related (8) , rather than by marriage.
Children often quarrel with each other, and these arguments are often quickly
resolved. In fact; sibling (9) (the competition between brothers and sisters) is
quite common.
More seriously, if arguments continue into adulthood, family (10) can
develop where both sides can end up hating each other and even trying to hurt or
destroy each other.

Exercise 62. Translate into English.

Один із найважливіших напрямків сучасної демографічної політики -

планування сім'ї.
Пошуки оптимальних засобів вирішення цієї проблеми ведуться ще з часів
Платона. Але й сьогодні вона належним чином не вирішена хоча б теоретично.
Насамперед з'ясуємо, що таке сім'я. „Сім'я - це форма спілкування", -
писав Арістотель. Є досить багато й інших визначень. Але необхідно звернути
увагу передусім на те, що виникнення і розвиток сім'ї зумовлені
особливостями природи людини.
Сім'я — це одна з найважливіших форм організації життя людей, яка має
фундаментальне значення як для індивіда, особистості, так і для суспільства.
Сім'я - це така спільнота людей, яка спирається на шлюбний союз, на родинні
58
зв'юки, на різноманітні вігшосини між чоловіком і дружиною, 6атька»га
і між саішши дітьми, між іншими членами сімТ, діа живуть разом
і спільно ведуть господарство. Широко відоме визначення Ф. Енгельсом сімі
де „економічної клітини чи осередку суспільства'/. Спільність господарства,
економічна об'єднаність, справді, є важливою складовою сімТ. Але економічні
інтереси і відносини не вичерпують усього багатства сімейних зв'язків
і, наважимось стверджувати, у сучасних умовах у розвинутих країнах, коли
чоловік і жінка досягають високого рівна економічної незалежності,
економічні зв'язки перестають бути провідаою стороною життя сім'ї, інакше не
було б так багато розлучень. Добре відомі випадки, коли до шл]юбу вступають
люди, здатні самостійно забезпечити економічну сторону свого життя. Не
тільки економічні зв'язки об'єднують людей у сім'ю, принаймні, не в першу
черіу вони.
Життя сім'ї - це поєднання дуже складних і різноманітних процесів або
сторін життя людей (біологічних, економічних, моральних, правових,
психологічних, естетичних, релігійних тощо). На цій рідставі сім'я здатна
виконувати такі свої функції.
1. Сім'я дає змогу створити найоптимальніші умови для відтворення
людини: народження дитини, догляд за нею, виховання, навчання. Сім'я
здійснює своєрідне накопичення, перерозподіл і передачу наступним
поколінням досвіду, знань, навичок найнеобхідніших форм трудової діяльності
і взаємодії з навколишнім середовищем, спілкування і співпраці з іншими
людьми. Це найдосконаліша форма ведення власного господарства, побуту,
відпочинку з досить чітким розподілом функцій, прав і обов'язків. Сильні
і здорові члени сім'ї працюють, малих і немічних доглядають, допомагають їм,
підтримують їх матеріально і духовно.
, 2. Сім'я дає змогу задовольнити значну частину фізичних і духовних
потреб людини. Це найбільш надійний духовний притулок особи. Англійці
кажуть: "Мій дім - моя фортеця". Сім'я, дім - це те місце, те коло особистісно
значимих людей, де кожного з нас чекають, люблять, готові зрозуміти та
допомогти, де є однодумці, друзі, де панують взаємоповага, взаємна моральна
і правова відповідальність. Це певна сукупність людей, які живуть одне для
одного, які віддають своє життя одне одному і життя яких не просто спільне,
а значною мірою єдине. Чоловік і дружина живуть одним життям. Діти - це
істотна частина життя матері і батька. Життя матері і батька — це істотна
частка життя дітей, причому і матеріального, і економічного, і духовного.
3. Сім'я - це не тільки досконала форма організації спільного життя
людей, це також один із найвагоміших вимірів життя особи, у якому вона
реалізує дуже важливі особистісні якості. Так, особистість може реалізувати
свої потенції і задатки в сфері матеріального виробництва, в науці, мистецтві,
підприємливості тощо. Але бути добрим чоловіком чи жінкою, дбайливим
батьком чи мамою, дідом чи бабусею, бути хорошим сином, онуком, братом
тощо — це теж особистісні якості і важливі складові життя людини. І людина,
природно, прагне до цього. Нормальна людина не може жити, не
усвідЬмлюючи себе у таких якостях. А тому сім'я - це не тільки суспільна, а й
59
особистісна цінність. Без сімТ, сімейного, родинного життя особа не може
повною мірою реатуватй свою природу, особистісні якості і не може бути
повною мірою щасливою.

Exercise 63. Work in groups of three or four. Decide which of the following
statements you agree with and which statements you disagree
with. Discuss these with your group-mates. Try to modify any
statements you disagree with so that they represent the opinions
of your group. Be ready to report your discussion to the rest of the
group and be ready to respond to questions.

1. Children should leave home after they get married.

2. Old people should be encouraged to stay in old people's houses rather than
staying with their families.
3. People shouldn't have more than two children.
4. Children should always obey their parents.
5. Children should ask their parents for parental consent.
6. Children should pay their rents back when they get a job.
7. You should always be ready to help to any member of your family.
8. If it is a big family, children should live with their parents after they get
married.
9. Family is more important that your own life. E.g. If you have a good job in
other city or country, you shouldn't leave your family.
10. You should keep family secrets and shouldn't even tell your close fnend.
11. Children shouldn't have Love affairs until they are 18-20.
12. Children should keep secret from their parents, if they love somebody.
13. They shouldn't have any independent activities without any permission of
parents until tljey finish their high school.
14. Children should accept and do whatever is ordered by their parents. If it is
right or wrong, they should do it.

SUPPLEMENTARY SECTION

Exercise 1. Read the statements and choose the correct answer (A, B, С or D).

1. is the father of wisdom.

A Diligence
В Experience
С Intelligence
D Necessity
2. "It is a wise child that knows its own father" means
A A man who is not the father is potentially dangerous to a child.
В It is harder for a baby to recognize its father than its mother.
С It is good for children to get to know their fathers.
60
 J) One can never have certain proof that a man is one's fether.
3. "The child is father of the man" means .
A A person's personality forms during childhood and d o » not really change.
В In legends, a hero is reborn many times.
С A man became a fether at a young age.
D The son acts more maturely t h ^ his father does.
4. "Old enough to be someone's father" means '
A A person is well matched emotionally with another person.
В A person ought to act more maturely.
С A person is as old as someone's pSirents (too old for a relationship).
D A person is old enough to have children.
5. Perceive affection makes a of a man too much the father (Ben Jonson,
Every Man in his Humor, 1598).
> A fool
В friend
С fatality
D foible
An angry father is most cruel toward (Publillus Syrus, Moral Sayings, 1 st
Centuiy B.C.).
A others
В his children
С himself
D women
7. Father is a provided by nature (French Proverb).
A cushion
В banker
С pillar
Ї) technician
8. A father is very miserable who has no other hold on his children's affection than
the need they have of his if that can be called affection (Montaigne, "Of the
affections of fathers to their children", 1580-1588).
A assurance
В aspirations
С anguish
D assistance
Ibis is what a father should be about: helping his son to form the habit of doing
right on his own , rather than because he is afraid of some serious
<^sequence (Terence, The Brothers, 160 B.C.).
A initiative
В instigation
С effort
D ability
10. Any father whose son raises his hand him is guilty: of having produced a
son who raised his hand him (Charles Paguy, Les Cahiers de la quinsaine,
Dec.2 1906).

61
 А to, to
В against, against
С towards, towards
D over, over
11. He that would the win, must with the mother first begin.
A battle
В argument
' C lottery
D daughter
12. "Tied to one's mother's apron strings" means .
A A person likes cooking,
В A person has a fetish for his or her moUier's clothing.
С A person is dependent on his or her mother.
D A person has very strict ideas about what is proper behavior.
13. "Every mother's son (of someone)" means .
A Absolutely everyone with no exception
В Anyone who is imderage
С All who are immature
D Anyone who is living at home
14. "Old enough to be someone's mother" means .
A A person is as old as someone's parents (too old for a relationship).
В A person is old enough to have children:
С A person is well matched emotionally with another person.
D A person ought to act more mature.
15. Every beetle is a gazelle in the of its mother. (Moorish Proverb)
A mind
В view
С eyes
D heart
16. A son is the heaviness of its mother. (Bible, Proverbs)
A foolish
В friendly
С frank
D fiendish
17. The idea! mother, like the ideal is fiction.(Milton B. Sapirstein,
' Paradoxes of Everyday Life, 1955)
A house
В job
С marriage
D vacation
118. A mother is glad to get the loveliest child . (Emerson)
I A dressed
; В ready
' С home
D asleep
62
19. No woman can call herself unless she can choose consciously whether
^ w l l or will not be a mother. (Margaret Sanger, Parade, Dec.I, 1963)
A happy
В open
С free
D modem
20. Who takes the child by the takes the mother by the heart. (Danish
Ih-overb)
A storm
В hand
С shirttails
D arm

2.

Read and translate the texts.

Emily, Taiwan
- Family is really very important for me. I have a good relationship between my
femily and me. We have five members, including parents, my sister, me and a cute
cat Whenever I get problems or feel frustrated, I think that my family is forever the
best place for me to take a rest. I know whatever I have done, they would support
me.
My parents are not only "my parents", but also "my friends." I exchange my
secrets and share my happy experiences with them. Unlike other teenagers, I like to
chat with them. I love them to death.
My younger sister is a cute and funny girl. Whatever she says make me laugh.
I love every minute to be with her. I love my family more than anything in the
world. 1 will treasure every moment that I get together with them!

Quyen Trinh, Vietnam

Family, marriage. These two words make me feel so secure because I don't
believe in divorce. As a family, 1 think the members should stick and help each
other. For the children, I think the parents should never let their children leave their
home at the year eighteen of age. Because at this age, I don't think they have enough
knowledge to make good decision for their lives.
In America the divorce rates are very high. It is very pitiful for the children
that had divorced parent. These children have grown up without either the father or
the mother environment. This situation would make them feel lonely because the
other children have both parents.
Finally, there are negative and positive aspects about marriage life. But in my
opinion, as a family, we should always love and help each other in many ways as we
can.

Maggie, Venezuela
63
 Family is the cell of the society. They are always with us, especially when we
really need them. I think the people who get a divorce are like little bad cells that
could cause a big cancer. They are dangerous for the rest of the good cells.
I do not agree with divorce; we should try to be together forever because when
we get married, we say "be together forever", so we must do what we say. Divorce is
the beginning of society's destruction.

Esraa Dawood, Middle East

It seems to me that American families are not strong families. In my culture,
we understand the exact meaning of family and home, and we know how to respect
our parents, relatives and our friends. You сапЧ always see clearly what the
relationship is between parents and their children. In American families, children
leave their families when they become 18 years old and it seems that some of them
don4 even try to see their families again and usually say this is the meaning of
freedom. Having freedom in my society means respecting yourself and others. Our
parents need us to be around them, not go too far away from them.

Nur Faizah, Malaysia

Almost everyday at my office, I would go to the websites on parenting/family.
I just want to be a good mother which I think I haven't been able to achieve yet.
I am a mother of two daughters, have a husband and am staying with my
parents-in-law (my parents have passed away). So, that is the type of family which I
am living in right now. To me, when talking about family and solutions to family
problems, there is no specific answer and specific tips which are going to suit every
family. As mentioned earlier, I have tried all sorts of parenting techniques but none
of them could produce good results.
You see, it takes all the members in the family's cooperation in order to build
a happy family. When everyone put their effort to make it happen, all the tips and
techniques will come naturally. To me, as I have seen it, it works that way. There is
no point doing it on your own. You will end up in frustration and your fhistration
will lead to anger and it will just ruin everything.
So now, the big Question of how to eveiybody's cooperation. This is very
tough. For example, if you look at my family, which has other extra people in it -
parents-in-law. You must think that the best solution is to find another place where
only my husband and children are there without other intervention. Well, that is not
the answer because there are a lot of family matters to be considered. As mentioned
earlier, the solution is not the same for everyone. What I have done is to give and
take with (more of giving it seems) eveiyone so that when I suggested something (on
the tips), the suggestion can be accepted easily. Another thing that I have done is to
believe in my instinct and be honest to myself that the thing is good for everyone.

Lulu, China
If you have a family and have kids, you should keep the commitment for h.
Maybe you will become bored when you feel every day life is prosaic, but no pay no
gain. If you have the sense of responsibility for the family, someday, when your
64
I^mily is much better because of your hard work coiiq>ared with that family without
див,, your life is regretless. Or if you feel you really don4 have the
j^^jOTsibility for this, then don4 give the birth to baby.

Zainita Binti Zainaddin, Malaysia

Family is our basic social unit. It has undergone significant changes over the
last century. More than ever, modem family has a lot to cope with compared to
femily during the golden days. Today, family faces more pressures such as money
worries and drug abuse. Also, relationship by taking away quality family time which
sh<^d be forging warm and loving relationship. Furthermore, in today's challenging
tinM, family no longer has a clear job fimction for its members. A reversed role
where the man brings up the children and the woman is the breadwinner is becoming
quite common.
As a human being I cannot imagine living in this world without family. This is
because family is die most valuable aspect of my life. I believe, without family I am
4ot 8 complete person. Who is going to teach me all the basic values in life such as
p i p i n g people, abiding to rules and being good to others? In fact, without fanwly I
Would be a lonely individual. I will not have a shoulder to cry on and not able to talk
lAraut fear and dream. Also, family is the most important in my life not solely for the
&ct that family provides love and relationship but also never to forget money and
other necessities in life.

]B. Make up 15 questions on the texts and ask the group-mates to answer them.

Compare different opinions on the family of the citizens of different

rauntries. Which of them do you agree\disagree with?

Exercise 3.

A. Read and translate the texts.

Wedding Customs from Around the World

.'Wedding traditions and customs vary from one country to another, but each
ОПЧ is фесіаі and celebrates the marriage bond of the newly weds.

Belgium
Wearing White, Giving Flowers, and Throwing Rice.
In my country, the bride always, or almost always, wears a white dress. The
«h^n comes to the house of the bride and gives her bouquet of flowers (also in white
or other light colors). They go to the church and the man is inside when the father of
the bride brings her to her future husband. And at the end, when they come out, the
fonily throws rice on them.

Brazil
65
 Important Details of the Wedding Ceremony.
A wedding ceremony in Brazil has many important details. For example, the
' bridegroom can't see the bride wearing her wedding dress before the ceremony. The
bride has to use something old, something new, and something that is borrowed. One
more detail is that the rings should be engraved: the name of the bridegroom on the
bride's ring and vice-versa.

China
Exchanging Handkerchiefs and Wishing Each Other Good Luck in China.
Every new couple needs to go to a park to have a video made before the
evening party starts. If a new couple meets in a park, the bride and bridegroom
should exchange a new handkerchief and wish each other good luck. It has to be red
and have a picture of mandarin ducks. Because ducks always stay together, it means
they will stay together. We have this custom so they share happiness and
congratulate each other. Traditionally, the more happiness you share, the more good
luck you get. So, don't forget to prepare these handkerchiefs by hand when you are
going to get married.

Hong Kong
One of the Interesting Things in a Chinese Wedding Ceremony.
In traditional Chinese wedding ceremony, a couple always has jokes played
on them by their friends or guests. For example, during the ceremony an apple is
hung with a thread before the couple. Then people who attend their wedding ask the
bride and groom to bite the apple at the same time in order to show they love each
other. However, at the moment their lips touch it, one of their friends suddenly pulls
it away and the couple's lips meet and they have a big kiss instead of biting the apple
before them. Interestingly, this action or behavior always causes a loud laugh.

Colombia
The Candle Ceremony.
There is a traditional custom in Colombian Christian weddings. After the ring
ceremony, the groom and the bride each has to light a candle. This custom has a
special meaning. Each lighted candle represents the life of each one. After that, they
light another candle together and put out the first candle of each one, leaving only
the one that they lit as a couple. This bright candle means that now they are the same
body and they are going to share every moment of their lives.
In a Christian ceremony in Colombia there is the "candle ceremony" after the
ring ceremony where the groom has to light the candle on his left and the bride lights
the candle on her right. When they both have their candles lit, they put them together
and light the candle in the middle. Then they have to put out their own candles and
this means they become just one body for the rest of their lives.

El Salvador
Escorting the Bride to the Church.

66
 All the wedding ceremonies around the world try to express different things
^UDUgh different ceremonies. For some reason, in some places in El Salvador, when
a wedding is celebrated, the wedding ceremony service starts without the bride. The
groom and all the people who have been invited to the ceremony are waiting for her
dfliring the service. When the wedding ceremony service starts, a group of seven men
goes to the bride's home. The bride and her family are waiting for seven white cars
which escort the bride's car until they arrive at the church. Finally, the bride enters
the church and then the nuptial song starts playing.

Germany
Polterabend - the Evening with Lots of Broken Porcelain.
Some days before the wedding, friends and relatives bring old porcelain and
kitchenware to throw on the ground in front of bride and groom. This is supposed to
grant them a happy, lucky life; that's why this evening event is called Polterabend -
evening with lots of broken porcelain. The German proverb - Scherben bringen
,j,j31flck - which can be translated as "Broken crockery brings you luck" is derived
, from this custom. The Polterabend often develops into an informal and casual party.

India
A Marriage of Two Families, Not Just Two People.
In the Sikh faith (East Indian) some weddings are arranged and others are love
marriages. When a couple is to be wed it is considered a marriage of two families
not just two people. The bride traditionally wears red (white signifies death in our
; culture) and the groom wears a traditional cream colored long coat called an etchkin
J with a red turban. The father of the bride joins the bride to the groom by handing her
one end of a cloth that is held by the groom. The groom leads the bride 4 times
around our holy book with the help of the bride's brothers and cousins. After the
fourth round the couple is considered married. Priests give blessings and advise the
couple on how to live and love in their new lives together. The couple is two bodies
with one soul...

Indonesia
Receiving a Holy Shower.
In Java, the bride and the groom mustn't meet each other on this day because
that would bring them bad luck. I was receiving a holy shower with water and
flowers from my mother.

% Compare the wedding customs from around the world. What is the main
difference between these customs and the customs of your country?

Exercise 4.

A. Read and translate the text.

A Short Hindu Wedding Ceremony

67
 Traditional Hindu wedding ceremonies can last for days and involve much
ritual in Sanskrit which may be understood only by tiie priest conducting the service.
This ceremony is consider^ly shorter and is intended to be understandable even to a
non-Indian audience, making it suitable for intercultural or mixed Hindu/non-Hindu
marriages. The couple for whom it was originally writt№ based it on the Gujarati
Brahmin traditions of the bride's family with a few touches from Unitarian and
secular wedding services familiar to the groom's family. It includes three spots to
insert optional readings and musical performmices of your choice. The priest in this
ceremony need not be formally trained as a Hindu priest. He or she should be
familiar with Hindu weddings and comfortable acting as a master of ceremonies,
guiding the participants through their parts and explaining the meaning of the service
to the audience. It's okay if the priest keeps the script in hand during the ceremony.

B. Role-playing

Roles
• Bride
• Groom
• Priest (who in this ceremony also serves as the MC)
• Bride's parents
• Groom's parents
• Bride's maternal uncle
• Bride's brother (or cousin or male friend)
• Best man
• Chorus: a few women who know how to sing traditional Indian slokas
• Flower giris (optional)

Set
• Hindu weddings are supposed to take place outside, on the earth, under a
canopy known as a mandap. If that's not possible, you can build a liiandap
inside and pretend you're outdoors. Seating under the mandap can be on the
ground (сафеїз or mats would be a good idea) or on chairs.
• Front and center under the mandap is the sacred fire. The fire can be small and
confined to a brazier or dish for safety.
• The groom's party is supposed to arrive at the wedding spot in a procession, so
it's good to have a convenient assembly location nearby.

Props
• Coconut.
• Garlands to be exchanged by bride and groom.
• Rings to be exchanged by bride and groom.
• Wedding necklace (mangalsutra).
• Gift from groom to bride's brother.
• Gift from bride's mother to groom.
68
 • Sacred fire.
• Sacred rope (varamala), tied in a loop large enough to go easily around bride
and groom.
• Pots of water for washing hands and feet.
• Kumkum or red paste applied to forehead.
• Rice.
• Flowers.

Wardrobe
Traditionally, the bride wears a red or red and white sari. The sari should be
draped modestly over her hair. The groom wears a kafiii (long shirt extending to the
knees) with pijamo (leggings) or dhoti (sort of an overgrown loincloth). The groom
might also wear a turban.
One feature of the bride's wardrobe which has become popular abroad is the
vise of henna or mehndi to decorate her hands and feet. It's said that you can tell how
well a new bride is being treated by her in-laws from how long it takes for the
mehndi to wear off. Mehndi treatments are increasingly available in salons or you
can get mehndi mix at any Indian grocery store for a do-it-yourself job. (But be sure
to practice on paper first! Mehndi doesn't wash off.)

Script
Groom's party assembles a few minutes before scheduled ceremony time at a
convenient spot near ceremony location. (E.g., a neighbor's house or a parking lot
iround the comer.) Older members of the party may go on to the ceremony location
bt) be seated. Groom is holding a coconut and bride's garland.
1. Groom's party walks in a procession to ceremony location. (For extra credit,
§?"оощ rides on a horse or better yet an elephant!) Groom is received by bride's
mother who applies kumkum to his forehead.
2. Groom ^ows to bride's mother and gives her coconut.
3. Bride's parents escort groom and best man to the mandap. Groom's party is
seated nearby.
A. After groom is in position in the mandap, bride comes out carrying groom's
garland, escorted by maternal uncle, optionally preceded by flower girls.
5. Priest says:
We have come together to wed (bride'S NAME), daughter of (bride's parents'
NAME), to (groom), son of (groom's parents). Today they build together the
Wl^ation of their marriage upon the earth, in the presence of the sacred fire and the
sun, among their family and friends.
6. Bride and groom are seated facing one another under the mandap. Chorus
sings the slokas:
о Invocation to Lord Ganesha: Vignesh varaia varadaia sukhapriyaya...
о Invocation to Saraswati: Yakundendutusharahara dhawala...
о Prayer for harmony: Om sahana vavatu...
Bride garlands groom. Groom garlands bride.

і 69
 8. Reading #1.
9. Bride's parents wash bride's and groom's hands and feet, apply kumkum and
give flowers. (Bride's mother does this to bride, bride's father to groom.)
10. Bride's parents address audience:
I, (name), son/daughter of (grandparents' names), approve the wedding of my
daughter, (bride's name), to (groom's name).
11. Groom says:
• I, (groom's name), take you, (bride's name), into my heart as my wife.
Bride says:
I, (bride's name), take you, (groom's name), into my heart as my husband.
12. Priest says:
A circle is the sjraibol of the sun and the eartii and the universe. It is a symbol
of holiness and of perfection and of peace. In these rings it is the symbol of unity, in
which your lives are now joined in one unbroken circle, in which, wherever you go,
you will always return to one another and to your togetherness. Bride and groom
exchange rings.
13. Priest puts varamala (sacred rope) around bride's and groom's necks.
They're now married!
14. The couple, who had been sitting facing one another, now sits down side by
side. Bride's fatiier puts bride's hand in groom's.
15. Song or musical performance. (Traditionally this is the time to sing a
mangalashtak, a poem composed specially for the occasion.)
Bride cups her hands and places them in groom's cupped hands. Bride's brother
puts rice in bride's hands.
1. Together bride and groom pour the mixture into the fire.
2. Bride and groom walk around the fire four times, alternating in who leads.
Priest says:
Om Svaha! With the first turn, we pray for happiness in the union of the couple.
Om Svaha! With the second turn, we pray for the long life of the couple.
Om Svaha! With the third turn, we pray for the healthy life of the couple.
Om Svaha? With the fourth turn, we pray for the happiness and health of the
couple.
3. The bride and groom sit down. (Here's a fiin part: whoever sits down first
will be the boss in the marriage!) Groom presents a gift to the bride's brother.
Priest says:
Now is the time to confirm the marriage with the seven final steps.
Bride and groom rise and prepare to take seven steps. Priest continues:
I ask you, (bride) and (groom), to concentrate upon these seven vows as you
take the seven steps:
о May the couple be blessed with an abundance of food,
о May the couple be strong and complement one another,
о May the couple be blessed with prosperity,
о May the couple be eternally happy,
о May the couple be blessed with children.

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 ' Idea: one "blended family" we know of changed this to "May the couple be
•blessed with obedient children."
о May the couple live in perfect harmony,
о May (bride) and (groom) always be the best of friends.
1. Optional step to shock the traditional Hindus: bride and groom steal a kiss!
2. Bride and groom feed each other sweets four times. Bride's mother gives
groom a gift. Groom's mother comes to the mandap and puts the mangalsutra
necklace around the bride's neck.
3. Reading #2.
4. Chorus sings the sloka:
о Blessing for Everlasting Love: Advaitam as bride and groom bow to
all theh" seniors in both parties in rough order according to age (eldest
first).

I; Adjourn to refreshments and photo ops.

Exercise 5.
A. Read and translate the text.

Choosing your Bridesmaids

A bridesmaid is first and foremost someone who the bride wants to be a part
of her wedding. Perhaps she is a sister, or a very close friend; her friendship and
support of the marriage is meaningfol.
More than that, a bridesmaid and/or maid-of-honor serves a practical рифозе.
During the hectic time of planning a wedding, she is a confident, advice giver, doer
of menial tasks, errand rurmer and more. A bride should have at least one bridesmaid
(preferably the maid-of-honor) who is reliable, cheerfully helpful, organized, and
who lives close to the bride.
A bridesmaid's duties might include:
• helping the bride shop for her dress and bridesmaids' dresses;
• when asked, giving advice on decorations, favors, music, and more;
• helping the maid of honor to plan a bridal shower, and, if appropriate,
chipping in for the costs of food, decorations, or venue;
• helping to plan a bachelorette party (this the bridesmaids may pay for or split
the cost with the other attendees);
• helping the bride dress (and stay calm) before the ceremony;
• providing moral support at all times;
• telling others where the couple is registered and other details, such as when
they will return from their honeymoon, where to send gifts, and any name
changes;
• being useful at the wedding reception. The couple may ask you to help direct
guests to the guestbook, assist with a special moment, make sure that vendors
have arrived, or do crisis management. You might also want to stick around

7!
 after the reception and make sure things are cleaned up and wedding presents
secured;
• being social. Be sure to talk to as many guests as you can, making them feel
warmly welcomed. If there's a dance floor, help get the party going;
• consider throwing (or helping to pitch in for) a day-after brunch.
These events are great to help the couple catch up with out-of-town guests,
and have a more relaxed environment to socialize in.
A good bridesmaid also makes sure she is helpful rather than a hindrance.
This means being where she needs to be, on time, ordering her bridesmaid dress at
the right time, and not badmouthing the bride behmd her back.
A Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor has additional duties. She is the person
whom the tede most wants to honor and celebrate her friendship. At the wedding
ceremony, she has the honor of being the last to walk dovwi the aisle before the
bride, and stands next to her during the ceremony. In addition to a bridesmaid's
duties, listed above, a maid of honor should: help with wedding planning, such as
researching locations, florists, caterers and other vendors:
• volunteer to help address wedding invitations and/or announcements;
• make sure her fellow bridesmaids have ordered their dresses and;
• accessories on time;
• helping with the rehearsal dinner;
• holding the bouquet during the ceremony;
• giving a meaningfiil toast during the reception.

The Expenses of a Bridesmaid

There is a considerable expense involved in being a bridesmaid, including cost
of apparel, travel and hotel room for the ceremony, hosting a party, as well as a
shower gift and a wedding gift. A bridesmaid can save money by asking others to
pitch in for the showers, wearing a dress she already owns (if that's okay with the
bride), making her own dress, and staying with friends. She can give her friend the
gift of time - i.e., the gift of addressing and stuffing the invitations. Also, a bride
may pay for some of the expenses if her budget allows it.

The Bacheiorette Party

Planning a bacheiorette party should be a fun experience for a bridesmaid to
toast the bride and have a blast with both new and old friends. The party planner
should be sure to keep the bride in mind always. Just because the wild maid-of-
honor might want a stripper doesn't mean the bride will. Consider if the bride is
more a gambling-in-Vegas type of gal, or a sitting-by-the-pool-with-a-white-wdne-
spritzer girl. Read to get some ideas and hints. Most of all, a bacheiorette party
should be a unique amazing experience that's both a total blast and an enormous
bonding time.

Why Have a Bridal Shower?

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 А bridal shower is a fun way for a woman's firiends and family to celebrate
jjer, prior to the wedding. As they "shower" her with gifts, they prepare her to start
jier own household. Historically, bridal showers started when women wanted to
piarry "unsuitable husbands" and thus their families refiised to provide a dowry.
Friends of the couple gathered to pitch in and make up for the lack of a dowry by
helping them set up house. Today, they are a time to share stories, eat great food,
and pay special attention to the bride.

Who Throws the Bridal Shower?

Typically, the maid of honor hosts the bridal shower, unless she is a member
of the bride's immediate family. (Many etiquette guides fix>wn on a family member
hosting, because it looks like she's tiying to get gifts for the bride. Often the mother
of the bride and/or the bride's sister will still be involved, just not technically be the
host Others realize that in this modem world, a relative is sometimes the only
appropriate host.)
For an informal or casual shower, the maid of honor or host picks up all the
costs. For a more elaborate shower, she may talk to the other bridesmaids and get
them to agree on chipping in or splitting costs at the beginning of the planning
process. And of course she can, and should, ask the other bridesmaids to help with
set up, planning, decorating, etc.

Where to Have the Bridal Shower?

Anywhere from a bridesmaid's home to a favorite restaurant, a park, a beach,
or the zoo. You can also choose to have theme showers at paint-your-own-pottery
studios, beauty salons, galleries or other favorite party spots. It's okay not to pick up
all costs, as long as you tell guests beforehand. For example, an invitation to a
restaurant shower might say "We'll celebrate with a Dutch lunch (entrees cost about
$10) followed by cake and champagne in the garden" or a spa invitation might say
"We've got the room reserved at XYZ spa. Call the spa directly to book your
appointment. Instead of a present, bring S25 to pay for the bride's treatments and
send her on her way with a deluxe spa gift certificate."

Do You Need to have a Bridal Shower?

It's up to you, and your bridal party! While it's often a very fun afternoon,
some brides feel uncomfortable with the attention. Others may not want to ask their
friends for more gifts. Make sure the bride wants a shower before starting to plan
one.

Who Should You Invite?

Start off by asking the bride for a guest list! (If it's a зифгізе, talk to her
mother or her fiance). You'll want to make sure that you're not inviting anyone who
won't be invited to the wedding, and the only way to know that is to ask directly.
Remember to invite close female relatives of the bride and groom, as well as all the
Women in the wedding party and the bride's close friends. While bridal showers are

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traditionally all women, today, many are co-ed affairs celebrating b c ^ the bride and
groom.

What Happens During a Shower?

You'll find that most of the party will be spent eating, laughing, telling stories
and opening presents. Food can be as simple as picnic staples and crudit6s to an
elaborate spread with a theme related to the couple. As the bride open presents, have
some nice music playing in the background. Make thank-you note writing easier by
picking someone to write down the gifts and their giver. If you're having the party at
home, you may want to have some bridal shower games to keep the party moving.

Choosing your groomsmen and ushers

A groomsman is first someone who is important to the groom, and whom the
groom wants to be a visible part of his wedding. He may be a close fiiend, brother,
cousin or father. These days, he may even be a she; more men are asking female
friends to be part of their attendants (although they are usually called honor
attendants, rather than groomsmen, and can wear a dress rather than a tux).
But a groomsman does more than stand around and looks pretty. He also
serves as advisor to the groom beforehand, helps the groom be organized, aids with
any wedding planning details he can, and helps seat guests at the wedding.
While a groom will want to have his best buddies and the men in his life that
means the most to him, he should also make sure that he has a group that is
responsible enough to handle their duties, or at least one person willing to pick up
the slack for the others.
A groomsman;
• supports the groom, advises him, listens to any pre-wedding nervousness;
• assists the'groom in picking out what the groomsmen are going to wear;
• either gets measured at the formalwear shop or promptly sends his
measurements to them, and offers to pick up and return the suits;
• goes to all pre-wedding events, including engagement parties, any coed
showers, bachelor party, and rehearsal dinner;
• helps to plan and pay for the bachelor party;
• with the bridesmaids, helps decorate the getaway car;
• gives a wedding present, and often an engagement present;
• helps the groom relax and get dressed on the day of the wedding;
• unless the groom has separate ushers and groomsmen, shows guests to their
seats at the ceremony;
• the best man frequently holds the ring during the ceremony;
• dances with bridesmaids and single female guests at the wedding;
, • helps carry away gifts and personal items after the wedding.
There is a considerable expense involved in being a groomsman, including
cost of apparel, travel, and hotel room for the ceremony, hosting a bachelor party, as
well as the gifts. A groomsman should have these expenses in mind when he accepts
the honor and be up front with the groom about what he is and isn't able to afford.

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Once he has agreed to be a groomsman, however, he shouldn't complain about the
cost Possible ways a groomsman can Mve money include:
• asking to wear a suit he already owns;
• renting his tux;
• staying with friends rather than in a hotel room;
• throwmg a casual bachelor party (perhaps a barbeque at a local park?);
• and asking other groomsmen to band together to give a joint present.
A groom may choose to have separate groomsmen and ushers. This generally
is only when a groom feels he has too many friends for them to all stand at the front
of the church, or if the bride only has a few attendants. In this case, the ushers' duties
are largely the same as the groomsmen. They may not attend as many of the events,
and may not be dressed as formally.

Bachelor party
A stag Party in Munich
A bachelor party (the United States, South Africa), also known as a stag party
or stag night (the UK, Ireland, Canada and New Zealand), bull's party (South Africa)
or buck's party, or buck's night (Australia) is a party held for a bachelor shortly
before he enters marriage, to make the most of his final opportunity to engage in
activities a new wife might not approve of, or merely to spend time bonding with his
male friends (often in his wedding party afterwards).
The history of bachelor party is thought to have originated, with a bachelor
dinner that was traditional in ancient Sparta (Sth century ВС) where soldiers would
toast each other on the eve of a friend's wedding.
A bachelor party may involve activities beyond the usual party and social
gathering ingredients (often drinking alcohol and gambling), such as going to a strip
club, hiring a female stripper or escort, and in some traditions more hazing-like tests
and pranks at the future groom's expense, which shows the whole thing is also a rite
of passage from bachelorhood (associated with an adolescent lifestyle, often in the
common past of most participants, e.g. in their student years) to "more responsible"
marital life.
The task of organizing a bachelor party is often traditionally assigned to a
male sibling of the bachelor or to the best man. Otherwise, any (close and/or
reputedly party-minded) male friend will organize it. The planned activities of a
bachelor party are traditionally kept secret from the groom.
Bachelor parties have also been the subject of many movies, especially
comedies.

Bachelorette
Bachelorette (American English) is an informal term for an unmarried woman.
It is derived from the word bachelor, and is often used by journalists, editors of
popular magazines, and some individuals. "Bachelorette" was famously the tewn
used to refer to female contestants on the old Dating Garrie TV show.

75
 In Canada, the term bachelorette also refers to a small bachelor apartment. The
term bachelor apartment, used in Canada and South Africa, refers to an apartment
with only one large room serving as a bedroom and living room plus a separate
bathroom.

B. Answer the questions.

' 1. '^Ъо can be chosen as a bridesmaid?

2. What do bridesmaid's duties include?
3. What are the expenses of a bridesmaid?
4. How can the bachelorette party be planned?
5. Why is it necessary to have a bridal shower?
6. Who throws the bridal shower?
7. Who should be invited to the bridal shower?
8. Who can be chosen as groomsmen and ushers?
9. What does a groomsman do?
10. What can a bachelor party include?

Exercise 6.

A. Answer the pre-reading questions.

1. Have you ever had trouble finding a date?

2. What makes dating so difficult?
3. Would you appreciate some help in meeting women?
4. Well men, here is some advice for you from a dating expert.

B. Read and translate the text.

Three Keys to Meeting Single Women

Most men think there's a magic word they can say to get a woman to talk to
them. While there is no such "magic word," there are three keys to communicating
with a woman that work every single time.
This is not earth-shattering stuff. What I'm about to suggest to you is a simple
approach that has worked every single time I or one of my students have used it.
Here are the three simple steps to communicating with a woman:
Step 1: Observe What She Is Doing. Take the example of a woman standing
behind you in line at the supermarket unloading her groceries. What is she putting
on the conveyor belt? If she's behind you in line at Starbucks, what is she ordering?
What is she eating?
Notice everything she's doing. Let the environment give you. Most guys think
of something to say that's so random it makes absolutely no sense in a woman's
mind. Women actually make fun of these guys and say, "You won't believe what he
actually came over and said to me."
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 Step 2: Act on the Observation. In order to properly act upon the
observation, you need to open her up and evoke a feeling. For instoce, if a woman
is ordering a double espresso, tiie thing to talk about is usually the first thing that
comes to your mind.
A typical gity might say, "Do you like coffee?" which leads to a yes or no
answer. A man who is 100 percent present will look at her and say, "Rough night
last night?" or "Busy day ahead?" ^ ^ a t you're trying to do is stay inside her head
and remain in her current thought process.
It's much easier to have a conversation based upon things she's already
experiencing. A woman will share something that's already going on in her head.
Another example: you're standing at a bar and see a woman ferociously
texting someone while standing there by herself. You can walk over and make an
assumption like "Is your friend late?" This will in turn open up a conversation based
upon feelings and emotions.
Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you emotionally.
They don't want to bond vwth you randomly. This leads us to Step 3.
Step 3: Listen to What She Has to Say. In order to have good conversation
and bond with a woman, you need to listen to what she says. If you listen to her, you
will know what to say next. It's called a conversation for a reason.
A lot of men always think about what to say next, or they have a script in their
head about what to say next. That's not a conversation - that's a bad screenplay.
For example, I was standing with a couple of clients on a-comer in
Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There was a woman standing there by herself with a
suitcase, obviously waiting for someone to pick her up for a weekend getaway. So
what did these two guys do? They observed and they asked her:
Guys: "So where are you going?"
Girl: "New Jersey."
Immediately one of them says, "New Jersey? I'm from Tampa."
That's not a conversation. That is a guy changing the subject to talk about
himself He doesn't care about her right off the bat. The correct thing to say in this
situation is this:
Guy: "Where in Jersey are you going?"
Girl: "The shore for the weekend."
Now, in turn, the two guys can keep her present in her head about the
weekend and ask her about her trip.
Guys: "Which beach?" or "Wow, how long are you staying there?"
If they listen and stop thinking about how to amuse her by telling her they're
from Tampa, they'll actually connect with her and have a conversation about the
shore, vacations - and who knows where the conversation might go.
Men complicate thmgs for no reason. There are no magie lines that you can
say, but in reality if men just talked to women like they talk to their closest friends,
they would have amazing conversations. Men just need to relax and listen to what
women are saying.
Do this and you're going to have great conversations. It's that simple! Get out
of the house, observe, react and listen!
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с . Summarize.
1. What are the "three steps" which are mentioned in the text?
2. Do you agree with them?
3. Do you think they will make you successful in meeting women to date?
4. Have you tried any of these three steps before? Did they work for you?
5. Would you consider trying these approaches in the future?
6. If you are a woman, would you like men to use these tactics when courting
you?

7. What other methods have worked for you in the past?

D. Conversation Task.

1. Talk with your group-mate about the dating customs in your country.
2. How do young people usually meet potential dates or mairiage partners?
3. Do you think there are better ways of meeting people?
4. How would you like to meet your future husband or wife?
Exercise 7.

A. Before reading the article, try to guess what these words mean:

ardor; blissful; cite; condominium; confront; evaluate; issue; parlance; poll;

premarital; proportion; region; relationship; release; reluctance; survey (noun);
survey (verb); therapy; unflattering; wed.

B. Read and translate the text.

Marriage Anyway

SINGAPOREAN couples may not be happy with their partners but they will
still marry them anyway, a global survey on relationships shows.
The poll of 716 couples who planned to wed showed that 39 percent were
unhappy in their relationships, the highest proportion of nine societies surveyed by a
US-based man'iage and family therapy organization.
The poll is the latest unflattering survey of ardour in a wealthy population that
chases what is known in local parlance as the Five C's: career, condominium, club,
credit cards and cars.
Birth rates hit a record low in 2004 and an annual survey by condom-maker
Durex has ranked Singapore for three straight years near the bottom of its list of
sexually active nations.
In the latest survey, only 14 percent of Singaporeans described themselves as
"very happy" with their partners, the lowest of the regions surveyed and compared
with 48 percent in the United States.

78
 The polls were conducted as part of a US-based programme known as
PREPARE (Premarital Personal and Relationship Evaluation) led by David Olson, a
retired University of Minnesota professor and author of several books on family
therapy.
Other regions surveyed were Japan, Hong Kong, Australia, Britain, Canada,
Germany and New Zealand. But Singapore's results stood out sharply, said Olson.
"I'm surprised so many premarital Singaporean couples are not as happy with
their relationships but are still planning to get married," Olson told Reuters after
releasing the findings at a conference in Singapore.
Among those in the survey who consider themselves unhappy, most cited
disagreements with their partners on a number of issues, or said they disliked their
partners' personality or that there were problems communicating effectively.
In contrast, US couples ready to tie the knot painted a far more blissful picture
with nearly half of 1000 sui-veyed indicating they were very happy in their
relationships.
Olson said couples in Singapore - an island of 4.2 million people - may be
suffering because of reluctance to speak their minds about problems to avoid
confrontation.
"They are afraid to say what they think and are afraid to disagree," he said.

C. Check out alphabetical list of words and meanings arid make up your own
sentences with these words:

ardor with great intensity

blissful extremely happy
cite give reference to
condominium individual home within a building of similar homes
confront raise an issue directly and argumentatively
evaluate give feedback
issue things that need to be discussed
parlance language, usually used by a particular group
poll survey f'om the general population
premarital before marriage
proportion segment or section, percentage of the whole
region area, location
relationship social connection between people
release set free, allow to go out
reluctance hesitation, unwillingness to do something
survey (noun) a questionnaire, or a report showing results of a poll 1
survey {verb) ask questions to find out people's opinions ;
therapy professional psychological counseling
unflattering not in a complimentary way ,
wed get maiTied І

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D. With your conversation partners, or group-mates, discuss the following:

1. What are some reasons people get married? (Romantic love, arrangement by
parents, financial security, nothing else to do, other reasons)
2. What do you think is/are the best reason(s) for couples to "tie the knot?"
3. Would you recommend fflarrying for reasons other than "love?" Why or why
not?
4. If a couple is not happy before marriage, do you think they will be happy
together after marriage?
5. If you were a therapist, what would you suggest for people who aren't happy
with their partners but want to get married anyway?

Exercise 8.

A. Read and translate the text.

9 Attractive Qualities Women Look for in a Guy

My fiiends and I have spent many a long night brainstorming that magic
formula of characteristics that Л-ives the ladies wild. It is impossible to know just
what the mixture is supposed to be, but is there one characteristic that can work
alone to make a guy really attractive? Here are the nine characteristics we've come
up with:
Sense of Humor
Everyone says how important sense of humor is, and I have learned to look
for it in women. I am lucky enough to be able to make women laugh, but I'm still
super single.
Trustworthy
Trust is the holy grail of a relationship. It takes years to build it, and it is so
delicate. There are few things that take so long to attain that can be destroyed so
quickly. So a lot of us may finally settle on a very trustworthy person when we
finally find that.
Kindness
This seems like a no-brainer, but I've seen plenty of girls stay with guys who
don't treat them well. So, I'm thinking that most women look for a nice guy, but the
fact of the matter is that mean guys seem to get girlfriends too - and at a better rate
than nice guys.
Money
I admit it: I sometimes envision myself marrying rich and sitting there doing
nothing. I could lie out on my wife's yacht and host lavish parties and hear about
how crazy the Roaring 20's were, when my wife's firiends were my age. Money is
definitely high on a lot of people's list: remember when Anna Nicole Smith married
that really old rich guy? I doubt it was because she thought he was hot, funny, or
great in the sack.
Super Hot

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 As much as we hate to admit it, the first thing we notice about someone else is
how good or bad they look. But one of the first lessons we leam in the dating world
is as beautiful as someone is on the outside, they could be ugly on the inside.
Confident
Confidence is based on a lot of these characteristics. You are confident if you
are talented, super hot, intelligent, or wealthy most likely. But confidence also
enables you to treat people better, so you are kind and trustworthy as well. Because
confidence includes so many of these other characteristic, it may just be the one
major thing women look for in a man.
Talented & Passionate
When someone possesses a special skill, such as visual art or guitar virtuosity,
they get tons of girls. People like Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, and Tom Brady can
go out with anyone they want because they are skilled. Heck, I'd go out with them.
Usually skill occurs in tandem with passion, another attractive quality. When
someone is really good at something, but not "hot," it makes sense that they can still
attract a lot of women. It's less annoying to see someone like this in a relationship
than it is to see a rich mean guy in a relationship.
Intelligent
I am intimidated by women who are more intelligent than I am (which
explains why I'm intimidated by about 97% of the female population). For a lot of
people, intelligence is sexy. V^'Tien someone is stupid, it's frustrating and boring,
which is enough to drive someone away.
Convenient
One can argue that convenience is a huge driver for a relationship. Does he
live near you, is he "ready" to be in a relationship, does he want to have kids or not?
Everything matches up correctly. Sure, he may not be the best-looking guy or have a
lot of money, but if s just what you need and it's been a long, difficult search.

B. If we put these characteristics on a pie chart, what would get the biggest
piece of the pie with you?

C. How often do women care about superficial things like money?

D. How do all of these characteristics shake out for you when choosing a
boyfriend, and are there any you'd add to the list? Does confidence just take all
of these characteristics into consideration?

Exercise 9.

A. Read and translate the text.

Top 10 Relationship Tips

Beginning a relationship is generally the easy part; it's maintaining the

connection that gets a little tricky. That's why a growing number of twosomes
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(whether or not they've tied the knot) are going into couples therapy as a preemptive
strike against the tough times that will inevitably hit... and to learn how to keep the
good times flowing. To give you a leg up in your lovi^ life, we asked the country's
top relationship experts to share the most crucial things they've uncovered over Ae
years - from big-picture philosophies to little gestures that go a long way. These
practices will help keep your union in a happy, healthy place.
1. Act Out of Character. Couples develop a particular dynamic: the way they
refate to each other that repeats itself over and over. If you break that pattern and act
against type - in a positive way - you inject new life into the relationship. For
example, if you always get angry at your guy when he doesn't follow through on
some chore, try addressing him in a nicer, more friendly tone, then thank him when
he does a good job. It works every time. - Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and
relationship coach in McLean, Virginia.
2. Get in Touch a Lot. No doubt you hug and .kiss each other. But simple acts
like stioking his arm wliile you're watching TV and taking his hand when you're
walking down the street arc also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout
the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and
makes you fee) closer on an instinctive level. - Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith,
PhD, author of "Emotional F itness for Couples". .
3. Take Turns Talking. To make sure you both get a chance to state what's
on your mind during a disagrcemerit - and get your points across - alternate playing
reflective therapist, where one listens vvhile the other talks. - Psychologist Diana
Kirschner, PhD, author of "Opening Love's Door".
4. Find the Intersection, When making decisions together, try to fmd
common ground. You each, should \\Tite down exactly what you want. Let's say
you're angling for a vacation in San Francisco to see the sights'and hit up the cool
shops and restaurants, while he wants a tropical getaway where he can lay by the
pool and sip drinks with umbrellas in the glass. Now that your desires are clearly
laid out on paper, you can pick a place that wil! satisfy both your needs. A cool city,
a little sun... how about Miami? Paul Dobransky, MD, author of "The Secret
Psychology of How We Fall in Love".
5. Be More Positive Than Negative. There's a more effective way to air
grievances than to file an angrj' complaint. Sandwich your negative comment
between two positives, if you want to complain about how he's always late, for
example, try something like "You know, I love that you're so laid-back and
easygoing, but it really bothers me when you show up so late. I'm sure you can still
be the fun gu}- [ adore and also be on time." - Los Angeles psychologist Yvonne
Thomas, PhD.'
6. Echo Each Other. When you and your man are having a serious
relationship talk, it's easy to get so caught up in how you want to respond that you're
not really listening to what'.s being said. That's why it's important for both of you to
repeat each other: so you know \ou've been heard and you feel understood. -
Yvonne Thomas.
7. Take a Time-Out. Neither of you is perfect, and tlie quirks you both have
are here to sta}". So rather tiian let those annoying traits ork your last nerve, try to

82
get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws, even if it's not immediately
recognizable. Instead of getting annoyed when he starts screaming at the TV, for
example, remind yourself how much you love his passion. Or if his shyness with
new people bugs you, think about how refieshing it is to be with a chill, genuine guy
rather than a blowhard who needs to chat with everyone in the room. - Denver
psychologist Jennifer Oikle, PhD, dating coach for Coupling Connection.
8. Have His Back. You might not agree with your guy when he's had a riff
with a ftiend or he thinks his boss is being unfair, but you should always be on his
side... and vice versa. Otherwise, you'll both feel like you can't count on each other.
That doesn't mean you have to take the "you're so right" route all the time. Just hear
him out, and let him know that you'll support him no matter what. - New York City
psychotherapist Jo Ann Magdoff, PhD.
9. Spend a Little Money on Each Other. You don't have to wait for a special
occasion to give small presents to show your love. In fact, gifts are more fun - and
meaningful - when they're not expected. Try to get into the habit of exchanging
Sweet tokens of appreciation for no particular reason. Don't go and blow your
paycheck though, it's not about being extravagant; it's just a way of showing that you
really get - and think about - each other. Maybe you buy him a tee of his favorite
band that you saw on sale or he gets you a pair of pajamas in your favorite color. -
Barton Goldsmith.
10. Be a Good Date. Face it, no one can stay fascinating forever. After being
together for a while, the initial excitement fades, and your guy can start to get kind
of boring sometimes. Hey, don't think you're off the hook - if you're feeling a little
ho-hum about him, the feeling is likely mutual! To combat the blahs, take turns
coming up with an interesting date idea every month. Keep the time and details to
yourself, and try to think outside the box - dinner and a movie is not exactly
innovative. An awesome concert or a snowboarding lesson, for example, is a much
less predictable treat. - Jennifer Oikle.

B. Make up 2-3 questions to each paragraph and ask your group-mates to

answer them.

C. Which of these relationship tips do you agreeVdisagree with? What other

relationship tips can you add?
 Contents

INTRODUCTION- ....3
TEXT A - 8
T^;XTB 15
TEXTC..... 28
TEXTD... ......41
TOPICAL VOCABULARY 55
VOCABULARY AND CONSOLIDATION EXERCISES 57
SUPPLEMENTARY SECTION .60

84
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ЧОЛОВІКИ ТА ж ш к и
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Коректор Н. П. Володченко
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