Name: Sabrina Nurul Hikmah

Nim: E1D021125

Class: 4G

Assignment of Academic Writing

Step 4: Write Clear, Error-Free Sentences

Up to now this book has emphasized the first three steps in writing an effective
paragraph: making a point, supporting the point, and organizing and connecting the evidence.
This section will focus on the fourth step: writing clear, error-free sentences. You’ll learn
how to revise a paragraph so that your sentences flow smoothly and clearly. Then you’ll
review how to edit a paragraph for mistakes in grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

Revising Sentences The following strategies will help you to revise your sentences
effectively.

1. Use parallelism.
• Activity 9: Cross out the unbalanced part of each sentence. In the space
provided, revise the unbalanced part so that it matches the other item or items
in the sentence. The first one is done for you as an example

2) Making a big dinner is a lot more fun than to clean up after it

Answer: Making a big dinner is a lot more fun than cleaning up after it
3) The street-corner preacher stopped people walking by, asking them
questions, and handed them a pamphlet.
Answer: The street-corner preacher stopped people walking by, asked them
questions, and handed them a pamphlet.
4) My teenage daughter enjoys shopping for new clothes, to try different
cosmetics, and reading beauty magazines
Answer: My teenage daughter enjoys shopping for new clothes, trying
different cosmetics, and reading beauty magazines

• Activity 10: Cross out the unbalanced part of each sentence. In the space
provided, revise the unbalanced part so that it matches the other item or items
in the sentence.
 1. The preschool teacher asked the children to put away their art supplies and
that their hands needed to be washed for lunch.  
Answer: The preschool teacher asked the children to put away their art
supplies and that their hands needed to be wash for lunch
2. Boring lectures, labs that are long, and mindless homework make college
uninteresting.  
Answer: Boring lectures, long labs, and mindless homework make college
uninteresting.  
3. The vending machines on campus offer oily chips that shouldn’t be eaten,
sugary beverages I shouldn’t drink, and stale cookies I don’t like.
4. Answer: The vending machines on campus offer oily chips that shouldn’t
eat, sugary beverages shouldn’t drink, and stale cookies I don’t like.

2. Use a consistent point of view.

• Activity 11: Change verbs as needed in the following passage so that they are
consistently in the past tense. Cross out each incorrect verb and write the
correct form above it, as shown in the example. You will need to make nine
corrections.
Late one rainy night, Mei Ling woke to the sound of steady dripping.
splashed
When she got out of bed to investigate, a drop of cold water splashes onto her
arm. She looked up just in time to see another drop form on the ceiling, hang
suspended for a moment, and fell to the carpet. Stumbling to the kitchen, Mei
Ling reached deep into one of the cabinets and left out a large roasting pan.
As she did so, pot lids and baking tins clattered out and crashed onto the
counter. Mei Ling ignored them, stumbled back to the bedroom, and places the
pan on the floor under the drip. But a minute after sliding her icy feet under
the covers, Mei Ling realized she is in trouble. The sound of each drop hitting
the metal pan echoed like a gunshot in the quiet room. Mei Ling felt like
crying, but she finally thought of a solution. She got out of bed and returned a
minute later with a thick bath towel. She lined the pan with the towel
and crawled back into bed.
 • Activity 12: Cross out the inconsistent pronouns in the following sentences
and revise by writing the correct form of the pronoun above each crossed-out
word
1. My grades are so low that one may be placed on academic probation.
Answer: My grades are so low that I may be placed on academic
probation.
7. The Furtado twins are fraternal, but most people cannot tell her apart.
Answer: The Furtado twins are fraternal, but most people cannot tell them
apart.
8. As we listened to Mika give her speech, you could hear the nervousness in
her voice.
Answer: As we listened to Mika give her speech, we could hear the
nervousness in her voice.
3. Use specific words.
• Activity 13: This activity will give you practice in replacing vague, indefinite
words with sharp, specific words. Add three or more specific words to replace
the general word or words underlined in each sentence. Make changes in the
wording of a sentence as necessary.
1. At the shopping center, we visited several stores
Answer: At the shopping center, we visited restaurants, market and
sport store.
3. Lauren enjoys various activities in her spare time.
Answer: Lauren enjoys reading a book, watching a movie, and cooking
dessert in her spare time.

4. I spent most of my afternoon doing homework.

Answer: I spent most of my afternoon doing cooking, gardening, and

mopping

4. Use concise wording.

• Activity 15: Rewrite the following sentences, omitting needless words.
1. After a lot of careful thinking, I have arrived at the conclusion that
drunken drivers should receive jail terms.
 Answer: After much careful thought, I concluded that drunk drivers should
receive jail terms.
2. The movie that I went to last night, which was fairly interesting, I must
say, was enjoyed by me and my girlfriend
Answer: The movie that I watched last night was quite interesting. My
girlfriend and I enjoyed it
• Activity 16: Rewrite the following sentences, omitting needless words
1. There is this one worker at the warehouse who rarely if ever arrives on
time.
Answer: There is one worker at the warehouse who rarely arrives on time
2. Judging by the looks of things, it seems to me that no one studied for the
quiz.
Answer: Judging by their appearance, I don't think anyone is studying for
quizzes
5. Vary your sentences
• Activity 17: Combine the following pairs of simple sentences into compound
sentences. Use a comma and a logical joining word (and, but, for, so) to
connect each pair. If you are not sure what and, but, for, and so mean, turn to
Chapter 25.
1. • Lee thought she would never master her new computer.
•In two weeks she was using it comfortably.
Answer: Lee thought she would never master her new computer. But, in
two weeks she was using it comfortably
2. • Vandals smashed the car’s headlights.
• They slashed the tires as well
Answer: Vandals smashed the car’s headlights and they slashed the tires as
well

5. • The phone rings late at night.

• We answer it fearfully.

• It could bring tragic news

Answer: The phone rings late at night. So we answer it fearfully. But, it

could bring tragic news
• Activity 18: Use logical subordinating words to combine the following pairs
of simple sentences into sentences that contain a dependent thought. Place a
comma after a dependent statement when it starts the sentence
1. • I receive my degree in June.
• I will begin to apply for jobs.
Answer: After I receive my degree in June, I will begin to apply for jobs.
2. • Robyn doesn’t enjoy cooking.
• She often eats at fast-food restaurants
Answer: Because Robyn doesn’t enjoy cooking, so she often eats at fast-
food restaurants
• Activity 19: Using coordination, subordination, or both, combine each of the
following groups of simple sentences into two longer sentences. Omit repeated
words. Various combinations are possible, so for each group, try to find the
combination that flows most smoothly and clearly. Work in pairs to complete
this activity.
1. • Lynn pretended not to overhear her coworkers.
• She couldn’t stop listening.

• She felt deeply embarrassed.

• They were criticizing her work.

• She felt deeply embarrassed because they were criticizing her work.

Answer:Lynn pretended not to overhear her coworkers. Because she

couldn’t stop listening.

2. • Nigel got home from the shopping mall.

• He discovered that his rented tuxedo did not fit.
• The jacket sleeves covered his hands.
• The pants cuffs hung over his shoes
Answer: • When Nigel got home from the shopping mall,He discovered
that his rented tuxedo did not fit.
 • The jacket sleeves covered his hands. But, the pants cuffs hung over his
shoes

• Activity 20: Combine the simple sentences into one sentence by using the
opener shown in the margin and omitting repeated words. Use a comma to set
off the opener from the rest of the sentence
1. -ed word
• Raj studied for the anthropology exam.
• He was determined to do well.
Answer: Studied for the anthropology exam, Raj determined to do well
2. -ing word
• The soldier volunteered for another tour of duty.
• She knew the danger involved
Answer: Volunteering for another tour of duty, the soldier knew the danger
involved
• Activity 21: Combine the simple sentences into one sentence by using the
opener shown in the margin and omitting repeated words. Use a comma to set
off the opener from the rest of the sentence.
3. -ly word
• Nobody saw the thieves steal our bikes.
• This was unfortunate
Answer: Unfortunately, nobody saw the thieves steal our bikes.
4. to word group
• Marcel rented a limousine for the night.
• He wanted to make a good impression.
Answer: Marcel rented a limousine for the night. Because He wanted to
make a good impression.

5. Prepositional phrase
• Paige logs into Facebook to chat with her friends.
• She does this during her lunch breaks.
Answer: Paige logs into Facebook to chat with her friends during her lunch
breaks.
• Activity 22: Combine the simple sentences in each group into one sentence by
using adjectives or verbs in a series and by omitting repeated words. In most
cases, use a comma between the adjectives or verbs in a series
1. • I activated the burglar alarm.
• I slipped a kitchen knife under my mattress.
Answer:Before going to bed, I locked all the doors, activated the burglar
alarm, and slipped a kitchen knife under my mattress
2. • The contact lens was.
• The contact lens was.
• The floor was.
• The floor was.
Answer : The thin, and slippery contact lens fell onto the dirty, and tiled
floor.
• Activity 23: Combine the simple sentences in each group into one sentence by
using adjectives or verbs in a series and by omitting repeated words. In most
cases, use a comma between the adjectives or verbs in a series
1. Jackie carefully looked into her rear view mirror before leaving the
driveway. She locked her car door.
She strapped on her seat belt.
Answer:Jackie carefully looked into her rearview mirror before leaving the
driveway, locked her car door, and strapped on her seat belt.
2. The games were free.
The games.
The laptop is new.
The laptop is a Dell
Answer:I downloaded several free games, that require role playing to my
new Dell laptop.