TAMIU FYWP Essay 1 Genre Analysis 1301

Unit 1 Peer Review Workshop

Directions: Mark your responses directly onto the paper you are editing. Or, you can write your
answers here. If you are unsure, simply state that something seems off but you are unsure of
what.

1. Is the essay in MLA format? If not, what suggestions can you make to the author to get
it to MLA format? Here is the link to OWL Purdue MLA so you can check: https://
owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/
mla_general_format.html
Yes this essay is in MLA Format by the Purdue Owl University.
2. What is the thesis statement? Mark it in the essay.

“This essay demonstrates the importance of displaying a schedule and including features
of a poster or flyer while presenting such a public written announcement to the student
community, highlighting how these two elements synergize to optimize communication
outcomes. The poster’s design, its content, and the purpose of using aspects of a schedule and
flyer or poster genres are all included in the analysis.”

This is my peers thesis statement.

3. Is the author’s thesis statement clear and direct? Does it mention the discourse
community and the genre it uses? Does it contain the three subpoints that each body
paragraph will discuss? If not, give the author suggestions for revision.

He does not mention the discourse community, but it does present the genre it is using.
Yes the author does provide the subpoints it will talk about in the body paragrapghs. I would
also suggest for show me not tell me your writing an essay, maybe rewrite the first sentence into
like the “tamiu aires community demonstrates this flyer too… etc.”

4. Does the author primarily focus on discussing the meaning of the text and how it
contributes to accomplishing the goals/expressing the values of the community? If not,
what are they focusing on? How can they switch their focus?

yes the author does give clarity in discussing the meaning of the text, by providing clear
quoted evidence, and he analyzes it very well, by providing information on how a college student
will see this poster.

5. Does each paragraph contain relevant topic sentences that let the reader know what the
paragraph is about and aren’t too vague or too specific? How can the author improve
their topic sentences if you believe they need revision?
TAMIU FYWP Essay 1 Genre Analysis 1301

I feel like the authors topic sentences were good, he makes it pretty clear transitioning
what he’s gonna talk about in each paragraph.

6. Where could the author use more detail to further illustrate his/her explanation of the
discourse community and/or analysis of the text in the genre? Does the author use
examples to demonstrate his/her point in each of the body paragraphs? Mark these in the
text.

the authors body paragrapghs have enough detail and they explain the context of the text
pretty clearly and even where they missed to put something, like the location.

7. Does the author maintain objectivity during his/her essay? Does the author show
confidence by avoiding words like “probably,” “likely,” “maybe,” etc? Mark in the
text where the author is sharing their own personal opinion, using I, me, you, etc, or
where they sound unsure of what they’re talking about.

this author does maintain objectivity by not using words like probably, likely, or maybe
He also does not include himself like I, me , or you only at the last sentence in the conclusion he
does state “in my opinion.”

8. What are three things that this author does very well?

1. Providing good quoted evidence and his analyzation is good in his body paragraphs.

2. The author makes it very clear to state where the community is from (Tamiu AIRES)

3. Author uses the MLA Format very well

9. What are three revision suggestions you have for the writer?

1. In the 1st body paragraph in the second sentence you mention audience twice maybe
find another word for the second audience.

“Its primary purpose is to give the audience a clear framework for their audience,

enabling them to understand the flow of information and use their time wisely.”

2. Try to omit the “in my opinion” at the conclusion.

3.

3 questions
TAMIU FYWP Essay 1 Genre Analysis 1301

10. Why is the flyer important to tamiu community.

11. How did the mention of the study in body paragrapgh 3 affect my reading through the essay?

Personally I think that adding actual evidence in an essay is good, because it gives me factual
evidence, about how many students in a college campus will just walk by the poster.

12.