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Halal Investing
for Beginners
Halal Investing
for Beginners
How to Start, Grow and Scale
Your Halal Investment
Portfolio

Ibrahim Khan
Mohsin Patel
This edition first published 2023

Copyright © 2023 by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
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The right of Ibrahim Khan and Mohsin Patel to be identified as the authors of this work has been
asserted in accordance with law.

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Author photos: Courtesy of Ibrahim Khan and Mohsin Patel
 To our patient, superhuman wives, without whom nothing would
ever happen half as well in our lives, and to our wise parents, who
pushed us at the right times and hugged us at the right times – may
Allah reward you all immensely.
 Contents

Forewordix
Acknowledgementsxi
About the Authors xiii
Introductionxv

PART I The Basics of Investing and

Personal Finance 1
Chapter 1 Personal Finance Essentials 3

Chapter 2 Breaking Even 5

Chapter 3 Islamic Wills 13

Chapter 4 Pensions 17

Chapter 5 Your Rainy Day Fund 21

Chapter 6 Going Halal for the First Time and the

Purification of Wealth 27

vii
viii Contents

PART II How to Develop Your Investment Strategy 35

Chapter 7 Your Investment Mindset 37

Chapter 8 Building the Blocks 51

Chapter 9 How to Do Basic Due Diligence into an

Investment Company 71

Chapter 10 Tax-Saving Strategies 77

Chapter 11 Weighing up Risk and Reward 81

PART III Investment and Sharia Considerations

for Popular Investment Categories 87
Chapter 12 Stocks 89

Chapter 13 Fixed Income 121

Chapter 14 Alternative Assets 153

PART IV How to Construct a Robust Portfolio 211

Chapter 15 Portfolio Theory 213

Chapter 16 Case Study: Conservative 221

Chapter 17 Case Study: Moderate 225

Chapter 18 Case Study: Aggressive 229

Parting Thoughts 231

Notes 233
Continuing Your Education 243
Helpful Resources 245
Index247
 Foreword

While Islamic finance has grown at an institutional level around the world,
it has often been underserved at a grassroots level. The average person still
has questions about what Islamic finance is, how it differs from traditional
finance, and why they should invest in sharia-­compliant products.There are
several impediments to the growth of Islamic finance in the UK, including
regulatory, political, and access to sharia-­compliant capital, as well as a lack
of human resources. One significant barrier that is frequently overlooked is
a lack of Islamic financial literacy. This is an area in which Islamic Finance
Guru (IFG) has excelled.
What began as a blog has grown into a global platform with millions of
beneficiaries worldwide; IFG has become a household name in Muslim
personal finance. Throughout this journey, I consider myself fortunate to
have kept in touch with and collaborated on various projects and initiatives
with my two dear brothers, Ibrahim Khan and Mohsin Patel. Their work is
truly legacy-­building, and I pray that they see the fruits of their efforts and
hard work in the Eternal Life.
It was only a matter of time before they were approached by a major
publisher to write about Islamic finance, so this book comes as no surprise.
I read through the book and was very pleased with the hands-­on approach
it provides. It greatly simplifies investing and provides people with a road
map for navigating the halal investing world. This book is more than just a
theoretical write-­up; it is the culmination of years of deep learning, insights,
and personal experiences. This book is both a “hack” and an “accelerator”;
it is thousands of hours of learning condensed into a few hundred pages.

ix
x Foreword

It will truly save people years of learning time and fast forward their journey
into the world of halal investing. Ibrahim and Mohsin have curated a
­powerful tool to educate this generation of Muslims about halal investing.
May God accept my dear brothers’ efforts and take them from strength
to strength in facilitating halal globally.

Mufti Faraz Adam

Amanah Advisors
 Acknowledgements

We would like to thank the IFG team – particularly Sarah Brooking – for
their support throughout the writing period, countless evenings of reviews
and edits, and for working so tirelessly on our mission to level up Muslims
financially.
A sincere note of thanks to Mufti Faraz Adam who has been a quiet,
thoughtful and dynamic font of wisdom to us for many years, and for taking
the time to comment thoroughly on this book as well.
And, finally, a thank you to the entire Wiley team for seeing the potential
and then making this all happen in such a professional, seamless way.

xi
 About the Authors

Ibrahim Khan is the CEO and co-­founder of Islamic Finance Guru and
its sister company, Cur8 Capital, one of the most prominent Islamic invest-
ing platforms globally. He read Philosophy, Politics, and Economics at the
University of Oxford, then went on to specialise in Islamic finance through
a Master’s and a traditional Alimiyyah degree. He worked for a number of
years in corporate law, first for Ashurst and then for Debevoise & Plimpton.
He holds a Diploma in Investment Advice & Financial Planning and a Cer-
tificate in Investment Management. He is based in London.

Mohsin Patel is the COO and co-­founder of Islamic Finance Guru and
Cur8 Capital. He read French and Russian at the University of Oxford. He
subsequently specialised in Islamic finance through an Islamic Finance
Diploma. He worked in corporate law at Squire Patton Boggs, before going
full-­time at Islamic Finance Guru in 2019. He holds a Diploma in Invest-
ment Advice & Financial Planning and a Certificate in Investment Manage-
ment. He splits his time between the UK and the UAE.

xiii
 Introduction

I first realised there was a problem when a financial advisor approached me

about managing my money.1
I was working as a trainee in corporate law at the time and invited him
into our plush London offices. This didn’t disconcert him in the slightest –
he was very familiar with these sorts of settings.
He walked me through his beautiful models. I should be accumulating
in my youth and decumulating in my retirement. Pensions were good, as
was insurance. Financing should be used strategically as a tool throughout
my life to smooth out purchases and get onto the property ladder quicker,
and tax-­efficient investments should be used to build my nest egg.
This was all brilliant and made perfect sense to me. I was ready to go
full-­on Wolf of Wall Street – but there was one big catch.
Literally nothing he had offered to me was sharia-­compliant.
I rang my best friend and long-­ time business partner Mohsin
that evening.
“We need to figure this one out, Mohsin. We’re going to have savings
soon and we need to manage them properly. And it’s completely barmy
that in a twenty-­first-­century world a quarter of the world’s population still
doesn’t have financial products that they can actually use.”
Mohsin agreed and, in an evening of discussion, debate, and idea crea-
tion, Islamic Finance Guru (or IFG) was born: a blog to share our research
into halal investing and personal finance.2
Thus started an eight-­year journey (to date) of research, discovery, and
building financial products that helped scratch our own itch. In that time,

xv
xvi Introduction

we gained Islamic qualifications, sat our financial advisor exams, qualified as

corporate lawyers, got married, and had kids.
Today, only through the grace of God, IFG is one of the most promin­
ent Islamic investing websites globally, with its own suite of financial tools
and investment products.
Over this journey, we’ve had the privilege of interacting with thousands
of Muslims also on the same path as us. We’ve interacted with students just
starting out on their journey, single mums looking to stabilise their finances
after a divorce, a scam victim who is fearfully looking to invest again for the
first time, billionaires who made their money in crypto, and – because we
deal mostly with Muslims – lots and lots of doctors. Despite the variety of
these backgrounds, these individuals actually had a lot in common when it
came to the challenges they were facing in their investment journeys.
These challenges were:

1. Wondering what is halal or haram in the investment world – from

the most basic products to the most complex.
2. Being keen to learn about personal finance and investment strategies
that were sharia-­compliant.
3. Looking for advice, coaching, and guidance on their investments.
4. Wanting to understand what halal investment options there actually
were for them to take up.

Much of our content on IFG and in this book has been inspired by the
questions we’ve received over the years from our audience members. We
have written hundreds of thousands of words, shot over 150 videos, and
given talks up and down the UK and abroad on these topics.
But what we had never done till now was condense it all down into one
neat package. This book is our attempt at doing just that. It is a distillation
of all those conversations, articles, videos, and lectures – suffused with a
healthy dose of practicality to get you moving from “learning” to “doing”.
We hope you enjoy it and learn something new.

The Why
But before we dive into the action, it is important to remind ourselves what
is at stake here.
 Introduction xvii

The religious texts are very clear – hoarding and passively sitting on
cash are frowned upon. The Qur’an says, “But as for him who is stingy and
self-­satisfied, and denies the good, We will pave his way to difficulty.”3
More broadly, zakat is a 2.5% compulsory charitable donation on every
Muslim’s stagnant wealth every year. Interestingly though, zakat does not
generally apply to investments. In other words, zakat is effectively a wealth
tax, encouraging the circulation and investment of money, rather than it sit-
ting in cash. We can see therefore that the sharī‘a – the Islamic legal code –
has always been pro-­investment.
But today this message has taken on a particular urgency. According to
an annual report on global wealth by Credit Suisse,4 the global average net
worth at the end of 2021 was $87,489, a staggering 12.7% increase from
2020 and the fastest annual rate of growth ever recorded.
Some quick back-­of-­the-­napkin analysis of their numbers, accounting
for Muslim populations, indicates that global Muslim net worth is approxi-
mately $16,702. In other words, the Muslim community is approximately
five times poorer than the rest of the world.
This can be seen in Figure 0.1.

Wealth levels (USD)

Below USD 5,000
USD 5,000 to 25,000
USD 25,000 to 100,000
Over USD 100,000

Figure 0.1 Global wealth.

Source: Davies et al., 2022 / Credit Suisse Group/ Public Domain.
xviii Introduction

With the exception of some of the smaller Gulf States, much of the
Muslim-­majority country belt stretching across North Africa and across the
Middle East and subcontinent has wealth in the lowest two bands.This puts
the task ahead of the Muslim community in a rather different light: we must
look after our wealth not just for ourselves, but the greater good. This is
particularly so for the most affluent Muslims.
As can be seen in Figure 0.2, the top 13% of the population owns
85.9% of global wealth. That means that if you’re reading this book and are
lucky enough to be in that bracket, there is an additional onus on you to
ensure your wealth is (1) invested and growing; and (2) allocated to invest-
ments that do more than just give profit.
We actually ran the numbers on what it would take for the Muslim
community as a whole to get back to a level financial playing field, and
what we found was that if every Muslim earned around 12% per annum on

62.5 m
(1.2%)

> USD 1 million USD 221.7 trn (47.8%)

USD 100,000 to 627 m USD 176.5 trn (38.1%)

USD 1 million (11.8%)

USD 10,000 to 1,791 m USD 60.4 trn (13.0%)

USD 100,000 (33.8%)

USD 5.0 trn

<USD 10,000 (1.1%)
2,818 m
(53.2%)
Wealth Total Wealth
range (percent of
world)

Number of adults (% of world adults)

Figure 0.2 Global wealth range.

Source: Davies et al., 2022 / Credit Suisse Group/ Public Domain.
 Introduction xix

their savings – roughly 4–5% above the global average returns – it would
take just 35 years to close that gap.
The goal is actually achievable and could even be attained in our life-
time. We’ve made it our mission at IFG to do precisely this – and this book
is a key part of that journey. The more Muslims who are educated about
investing well, the more they are likely to invest profitably.
Right, enough preaching, let’s get down to business.

How to Use This Book

This book is divided into four Parts:

Part I - The basics of investing and personal finance

Part II - How to develop your investment strategy
Part III - Investment and sharia considerations for popular investment
categories
Part IV - How to construct a robust portfolio

The first time you read this book, we would suggest reading from start
to finish. Then, when you revisit the book,5 you should just dip in and out
of the Parts that are most pertinent to your personal situation. We would
expect Part III in particular to become a reference section for your ongoing
investment activities.
We also want to make sure that this book isn’t just a theoretical primer
full of nice platitudes that is read once and then sits on a shelf getting dusty.
At the end of this book, we want you to have the toolkit to be able to take
control of your finances and have the confidence to use those tools too.
Specifically you should be able to do the following:

1. Construct a personal finance foundation for your own life.

2. Measure your own risk appetite in order to decide what your overall
portfolio will look like.
3. Explain what popular investment categories are to a beginner.
4. Discredit myths about investing the next time you hear them.
5. Have a firm grounding in the mainstream Islamic positions on pop-
ular investments.
xx Introduction

We have also provided an investment checklist document that you

should fill out for yourself as you progress through the book.You can get a
downloadable PDF version.6

Structure of Each Part

First, we’re going to cover some very practical personal finance foundations
that will help you to think about how you allocate your money in life. This
is all the essential, not-­so-­exciting stuff that forms the backbone to healthy
finances. We’ll be covering:

1. Breaking even.
2. Islamic wills.
3. Pensions.
4. Rainy day funds.
5. Going halal for the first time.

In Part II, we start drilling into investments but we’re more interested
in helping you understand the why and how of investing here, rather than the
what. We cover:

1. Your investment mindset and dealing with different circumstances

that you’ll be facing.
2. The basic building blocks of investments: buying a house, achieving
investment goals, and retirement.
3. How to do basic due diligence into an investment company.
4. Key tax-­saving strategies.
5. How to weigh up risk and reward.

In Part III, we’ll actually get down to the nitty-­gritty. We cover various
different investment options under the three big umbrella terms:

1. The stock market.

2. Fixed income.
3. Alternative assets.
 Introduction xxi

For each investment we cover, we answer the following questions:

1. What is it?
2. What are the returns on offer?
3. Is your money safe?
4. Can you get your money back easily?
5. What are the sharia considerations (including zakat)?
6. How can you get access to it?

In Part IV, we pull everything together and move you to action. We

cover portfolio construction – how you actually craft an investment pot for
yourself – and present three realistic case studies of individuals at different
life stages with very different incomes, goals, and ambitions.

Global Readers
Just a quick note for those readers among you who do not live in the
United Kingdom. This book will regularly express money and examples in
pounds sterling and certain aspects of our coverage will be somewhat UK-­
oriented. However, in most cases, what we cover in this book has global
application as the lessons apply to investments generally, regardless of the
particulars of each country.
Even for the very specifically UK-­oriented discussions (of which there
aren’t too many), take this as a nudge to go on the internet and find out if
your country has something similar. For example, if we are talking about tax
incentives to invest in startups – and you are based in Bulgaria – check if
Bulgaria has something similar.7 Most governments the world over will be
looking to incentivise the same behaviours, so chances are actually quite
high that there is considerable overlap in the areas that they incentivise.
Halal Investing
for Beginners
PART

I The Basics of
Investing and
Personal Finance

1
1
Personal Finance
Essentials

Most complex skills have only a few true experts. There are only a handful of
world-­class tennis players, surgeons, or lawyers in the world, and yet the tennis
academies, medical schools, and law schools are full of prospective future experts.
What happens to these hopefuls that winnows the field so dramatically?
Complex skills are based upon the learning and repetition of many
smaller factoids, activities, and actions. Over time, these thought patterns,
skill sets, and movements become so ingrained that a skilled surgeon can
mentally walk their way through a complex surgery entirely in their head.
But the problem with these simple factoids, repetitions, and skill sets is
that they are often not the glamorous end result usually associated with prac-
tising that craft. Hitting 100 balls alone on a tennis court is just not as exciting
as playing on Centre Court at Wimbledon. And yet understanding and hon-
ing the basics incredibly well are what the later successes are based upon.
The same is the case when it comes to investments and personal
finances. The glamorous side of investing is taking meetings with the next
Mark Zuckerberg, looking into his eyes and deciding to invest all your
money in his company because you can see where this rocket ship is headed.
It’s having films like The Big Short made about your decisions. It’s picking
the next stock, cryptocoin, or asset class before it becomes huge and making
enough to retire off the back of it.

3
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
 IMANDRA (juoksee ovelle, mutta prinssi asettuu oven eteen)

Pois, minä en tahdo nähdä sinua! Minä en näe sinua enään

koskaan.
Jää hyvästi! (Hyppää ulos ikkunasta.)

INKERI (juoksee ikkunan ääreen)

Prinsessa!

PRINSSI

Oliko tämä nyt täyttä totta!

INKERI

Hän juoksee metsään.

PRINSSI

Mitä! Hän kääntyy järvelle! Hoi, Imandra, tule takaisin! Imandra!

INKERI

Hän ei tule takaisin, juoksee, juoksee!

PRINSSI

Ei tule. Imandra, minä tulen! (Hyppää ikkunasta.)

INKERI

Se oli sen sadun loppu!

NÄYTÖS IV

—Tornihuone. Oikealla ompelupöytä, rukki. Vasemmalla ovi. Perällä

linnansaliin johtava, iso kaariovi, sen oikealla puolella tornikomero
lyijykehyksisine, pieniruutuisine ikkunoineen.—

PRINSSI (ja Otro tulevat vasemmalta)

Täällä ei ole vielä ketään.

OTRO

Armollinen prinssi, minä ymmärrän, ketä te odotatte.

PRINSSI

Sitä, jota silmäni ja sydämeni halajaa. Tämä on siis odotettu

hääpäiväni.

OTRO

Ihmisen iloisin päivä.

PRINSSI (leikillisesti)
 Käskittehän metsänvartijan vaimon tulla linnaan?

OTRO

Käskin. Prinssi, te olette mainiosti esittänyt osanne.

PRINSSI

Minun on täytynyt olla kova vasten tahtoani. Pelkäsin jo

prinsessan karkaavan, mutta minä sain takaisin levottoman lintuni.
Siinä kilpajuoksussa olin taittaa jalkani.

OTRO

Pianhan tämän suloisen selkkauksen langat selviävät.

PRINSSI

Menin ehkä liian pitkälle pilassani. Ensin prinsessa rimpuili ja

raivoili, mutta kun kannoin hänet kotiin, tyyntyi hän kuin lapsi.
Mökissä hän sitten nukahti.

OTRO

Prinssi, teillä on ihmeellinen taikavoima taltuttaa tätä pientä

kuninkaanlintua. Hän on jo häkissänne.

PRINSSI

Tahtoisin, että hän vapaana visertelisi ja söisi kädestäni.

OTRO (nauraen)
 Hunajakakkua! Eikö hän jo totu mökkiläisen mustaan leipään?

PRINSSI

Ja mökkiläiseen! Niin, niin, tuntuu toisinaan kuin olisin

mustasukkainen eräälle miehelle…

OTRO

Itsellenne? Tarkoitatte, Metsä-Matille.

PRINSSI

Niin. Mutta kohta riisun minä naamarini.

OTRO

Niinkuin kypärinsilmikkonsa riisuu ritari, joka on voittanut

keihäskisoissa.

PRINSSI

Joka on voittanut itsensä! Mutta vielä tahdon minä

tuntemattomana nauttia salaisesta onnestani. Menkäämme! Kuulen
askeleita.

OTRO (ilakoiden)

Menkäämme siis katsomaan olematonta, mykkää prinsessaa

tornikomerossa!

PRINSSI
 Mykkää salaisuuttamme. Pian sen linnansoittajat toitottavat koko
valtakunnalle.

OTRO

Soittajat ja morsiusneidot ovat jo saapuneet.

PRINSSI

Ja hää-ilotulituksena voitte polttaa metsämökin.

OTRO

Ymmärrän, teidän korkeutenne. (Menevät nauraen perä-ovesta.)

INKERI (tulee juosten, jälessään hoviherra likinäköisesti häntä

etsien)

Mutta hoviherra! Tehän olette hiprakassa! (Inkeri piiloutuu

tornikomeroon ompelupöydän alle.) Hahhaa! Mitäs tästä hovirouva
ajattelee!

HOVIHERRA

Minun piti tavata hovirouvaa suihkukaivon luona.

INKERI

Mutta eksyitte viinikellariin.

HOVIHERRA

Hehee, hää-ilon esimakua.

INKERI

Hui, hai, hoviherra!

HOVIHERRA

Missä minun pieni kyyhkyni on, leikkikäämme kyyhkyä ja haukkaa!

(Liikkaa pöydän alitse.) Ah! (Alkavat juosta pöydän ympäri.)

INKERI

Te olette jo siipirikko!

HOVIHERRA

Ki-kirottu kihti! Inkeri, jollet sinä seiso, niin minä ryömin pöydän yli.
(Alkaa ryömiä pöydälle, mutta ei pääse lattialle.) Inkeri kulta, auta
minua alas!

INKERI

Mutta te ette saa koskea.

HOVIHERRA

Kautta hovikunniani!

INKERI

Ettekä nipistä?

HOVIHERRA
 En nipistä, katselen vain! Uh, puh!

INKERI

Hoviherra! Pahinta on syntinen syyhelmä vanhoissa raajoissa.

HOVIHERRA

Vanhassakin on kutkaa. Vanhankin veri uudistuu niinkuin tämä

muoti tässä. Täntapaista hametta käytettiin jo hovirouvan isoäidin
nuoruuden aikana.

INKERI

Käyttivätkö miehetkin vanhaan aikaan hameita?

HOVIHERRA

Nuorena hovipoikana ollessani, valepukuina, joo, joo. Hyst! Me

hiivimme nuorten hovineitien naamiaisiin.

INKERI

Ai, ai! Taisitte olla aika aituri. Mutta ajat muuttuvat, muodit
muuttuvat.

HOVIHERRA

Muodit muuttuvat turhamaisuudesta. Tietäkääs! Kuningas Pontus

Paksupään aikana käytti muuan prinsessa pystykauluksia
peittääkseen syylää kaulassaan.
INKERI

Siksipä hovirouva käyttää korkeita kauluksia.

HOVIHERRA

Eräällä kuningattarella oli hyvin rumat hampaat, sentähden peitti

hän niitä pitämällä pitsinenäliinaa suunsa edessä!

INKERI

Hovirouvan pitäisi käyttää isoa pyhinliinaa kasvojensa edessä.

HOVIHERRA

So, so, veitikka! Kuningas Stultus suurella oli iso mukula päässä ja
hän määräsi hovin käyttämään tekotukkaa.

INKERI

Siksikö tekin, hoviherra…?

HOVIHERRA

Ei, ei! Nuorena hovimiehenä ollessani oli tapana nyhtää jok'ainoa

hiuskarva pois päästä — siisteyden vuoksi. Ettekö te tahtoisi…

INKERI

Nyhtää hiuksianne? Miksei! (Tempaa tekotukan hoviherran

päästä.)
Teillähän on vain pari niskakarvaa!
 (Hovirouva seisoo ovella.)

HOVIHERRA

Ai, ai, ei saa tukistaa, tehän olette äksy kuin prinsessa Imandra.
Mutta minä kostan. (Nipistää Inkeriä korvasta.)

HOVIROUVA

Vai niin! Hoviherra, joko te taas…?

HOVIHERRA

Joko taas? Minä vain rankaisin kamarineitiä!

HOVIROUVA

Ja nyt minä rankaisen teitä. (Taluttaa hoviherraa korvasta ovelle.)

Te olette uskoton, ulkokultainen, vanha vaivainen ukuli!

HOVIHERRA

Ukuli, ui! Oi, anteeksi, armollinen, en koskaan enään…

HOVIROUVA

Vai vielä tässä nipistämään! Hyi, kuinka teidän henkenne hajuaa!

(Pirskoittaa hajuvettä.) Mars suihkukaivolle! Siellä saattekin nyt
kylmän kylvyn. (Hovirouva ja hoviherra menevät perälle.)

IMANDRA (tulee vasemmalta hiljaa ja arasti)

Inkeri! Uskallanko minä tulla?

INKERI

Prinsessa!

IMANDRA

Älä mainitse nimeäni!

INKERI

Tulkaa ompelemaan, nyt on kiire!

IMANDRA

Prinssi viettää häitä, niin. — Oh, kuinka minun on nälkä. Kotona

hovissa oli minulla ruokaa, mutta ei ollut nälkä.

INKERI

Ja nyt teillä on nälkä, mutta ei ole ruokaa.

IMANDRA

Mitähän nyt prinssi ajattelee minusta? — Ja Metsä-Matti on nyt

sairaana kotona.

INKERI

Kuinka te säikäytitte, koko linnan alustalaiset hakivat teitä, mutta

Metsä-Matti löysi teidät viimein.

IMANDRA
 Hän taittoi metsässä jalkansa, enkä minä voi häntä nyt hoitaa, sillä
prinssi käski minun tulla hoviin. Voi, Matti parka! Kuinka lienee
tulenkin laita? Ettei vain tapahtuisi mitään onnettomuutta.

INKERI

Ei saa leikkiä tulen eikä tunteiden kanssa.

IMANDRA

Minä aavistan.

INKERI

Mitä te aavistatte?

IMANDRA

Aavistan, että tästä päivästä riippuu koko kohtaloni. Oh, kun minä
ummistan silmäni, niin näen hämärän metsän, sen syvyydestä
syöksyy mies, nostaa, kantaa minua, minä en ajattele mitään, en
tiedä mitään, mies kantaa minua ja minä tunnen ikäänkuin kasvaisin
kiinni häneen ja vereni läikähtää lämpöisesti. Inkeri, tiedätkö, mitä
tämä merkitsee?

INKERI

Haaveiletteko taas satujanne? Prinsessa, antakaa viisauden

langeta sydämeenne!

IMANDRA
 Ja tiedätkö, Inkeri. En vihannut häntä vaikka hän poltti satuni,
tuntuu ikäänkuin hän olisi polttanut poroksi jotain pahaa povessani.

INKERI

Rikas, riemullinen elämä on suurempi kuin mailman kaikki pienet

satukirjat.

IMANDRA

Kummallista, en vieläkään ymmärrä elämää. Kaksi kuvaa

sekoittuu sielussani toisiinsa. Toinen valkoinen ja toinen tumma
kuva. Toisinaan sulavat kahden katseet yhdeksi, toisinaan en eroita
prinssiä Matista enkä Mattia prinssistä muusta kuin tukasta ja
puvusta. Eroittaisikohan prinssi minut, jos minä pukeutuisin näihin
häähuntuihin?

INKERI

Prinsessa, pukekaa valkoiset kengät jalkaanne ja koettakaa tätä

hääharsoviittaa!

IMANDRA

Tohdinko? Ettei vain prinssi tulisi, oi, kuinka minä häpeisin.

INKERI (veitikkamaisesti)

Prinssi oli hyvin ankaran näköinen.

IMANDRA
 Nyt hän ajaa meidät mökistä, jos hän saa tietää, mitä Matti on
uhannut tehdä. Minun täytyy pelastaa hänet… Missä on prinssi?

INKERI

Prinssi on sen mykän prinsessan luona.

IMANDRA (pukeutuu)

Voi, prinsessa parka, kun häntä ajattelen, niin melkein mykistyn, ja

kun minä ajattelen prinssiä, niin…

INKERI (hymyillen)

Niin te ajattelette Metsä-Mattia.

IMANDRA

Niin. Olisiko tässä jotain noituutta?

INKERI

Ehkä se taikapeili on sekoittanut kuvat. Prinsessa, kuinka kaunis

te olisitte morsiamena! — Sitokaa nyt morsiusseppeltä!

IMANDRA

Prinssin morsiamena? Kunhan näkisin itseni!

INKERI

Hovi on huumannut vanhat vaistonne.

IMANDRA

Minullahan on peilinsiru! Sillä minä hämmennän koko hovin,

hoviherran, hovirouvan ja prinssin…

INKERI

Prinssin? Heittäkää jo vanhat vallattomuudet! Hämmennätte vain

itsenne.

IMANDRA

Peilistähän näkee itsensä sellaisena kuin todella on. Inkeri! Minä

neulon tämän sirun seppeleeseen.

INKERI

Mutta prinsessa, se on vaarallista!

(Linnanpihalta kuuluu huutoja.)

IMANDRA

Inkeri, kuulitko, mitä ne huutavat?

INKERI (nousee, menee ikkunan luo)

Linnanpihalla on kansaa, se tahtoo nähdä prinsessan.

IMANDRA

Minutko? (Aikoo ikkunan luo, mutta Inkeri estää.)

INKERI

Ei, ei! Prinssin morsiamen!

KANSA (huutaa)

Morsian ulos!

IMANDRA

Minä unohdin, enhän minä ole prinssin morsian! (Heittää

seppeleen pöydälle.)

INKERI (huutaa ikkunasta)

Tyyntykää, hänen kuninkaallinen korkeutensa on vielä tornissa!

(Kuuluu mutinaa.)

IMANDRA

Minä olen vain metsänvartijan vaimo enkä vielä edes sitäkään,

(Istuutuu ompelemaan, hyräilee: soi viimeisen kerran mun lempeni
laulu.)

INKERI

Laulakaa, laulu lohduttaa! Minä menen hakemaan lisää lankoja.

(Menee.)

(Vasemmalta tulee kaksi morsiuspiikaista.)

MORSIUSPIIKAINEN
 Katsos, hän on pukeutunut morsiuspukuun.

TOINEN MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Kujeilkaamme hiukan hänen kustannuksellaan.

MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Oi, terve maan mainio morsian!

IMANDRA

Morsian, minä, mitä te teette?

TOINEN MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Tulimme koristamaan häätupaa huikaisevilla hursteillä, päilyvillä

peileillä ja häähimmeleillä.

IMANDRA

Erehdytte, tytöt, en ole morsian. Minä koettelin vain prinsessan

pukua.

MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Nyt tunnen, sinähän olet se uusi kummallinen kutoja, josta niin

paljon puhutaan.

IMANDRA

Olen minä nähnyt parempiakin päiviä!

TOINEN MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Parempia päiviä? Ja tahtoo koreilla kuninkaallisilla häävaatteilla!

IMANDRA (kiivastuen)

Miksen koreilisi! Minulla olisi siihen oikeuskin.

MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Mikä oikeus, sinulla halvalla paimentytöllä?

IMANDRA

Te härnäätte minua!

TOINEN MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Katsos, katsos, kuinka kiukuttelee! Metsäkissa!

IMANDRA

Varokaa, etten kynsi!

MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Kyllä on sisua!

TOINEN MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

On vielä ylpeäkin.

IMANDRA
 Ylväs ylpeitä vastaan, nöyrä nöyrien kanssa!

MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Luulee olevansa mikäkin prinsessa!

IMANDRA

Prinsessa, niin minä olenkin!

MORSIUSPIIKAISET

Prinsessa, hahhahaa!

TOINEN MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Kerjäläisprinsessa!

MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Minkä maan prinsessa?

IMANDRA

Suvikunnan maan! Tässä seisoo Suvikunnan valtijatar. Ettekö

häpeä!

TOINEN MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Häpeä itse! Suvikunnan valtijatar, vielä mun mitä! Ethän osaa

hyppiä harakkaa niinkuin Suvikunnan prinsessa.

IMANDRA
 Ettekö usko, kyllä minä osaan!

MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Emme usko, jollet hypi harakkaa!

TOINEN MORSIUSPIIKAINEN Harakkaprinsessa! Emme usko,

emme usko!

IMANDRA

Ettekö usko! Kyllä minä näytän… Katsokaa! (Alkaa hyppiä

harakkaa.)

MORSIUSPIIKAISET

Hahhahaa!

IMANDRA

Uskotteko nyt? Huitukat!

MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Hyppii kuin sammakko!

TOINEN MORSIUSPIIKAINEN

Hän on hullu, hän on hullu!

(Morsiuspiikaiset juoksevat nauraen vasemmasta ovesta.

Imandra ei sitä huomaa vaan jatkaa hyppimistään.)
 PRINSSI (tulee perältä, seisoo kynnyksellä)

Jatka, jatka!

IMANDRA (peittää käsillä kasvonsa ja hypähtää pystyyn)

Oi, prinssi!

PRINSSI

Mikä sinua vaivaa! Miksi et hypi, sehän oli niin kaunista katsella!

IMANDRA (koettaa riisua hääviittaa)

Se oli niin rumaa, en tiedä, mikä minuun tuli.

PRINSSI

Ei, ei, anna olla, hääpuku koristaa sinua.

IMANDRA

Oi, antakaa anteeksi, ei se sovi minulle eikä minun sovi… minä

vain koettelin…

PRINSSI

Sinä olisit suloinen morsian!

IMANDRA (laskee harsoviitan pöydälle)

Mitä prinssi nyt!

PRINSSI