Don't Listen to Those Who Say

"No Sex on the First Date" | Girls

Chase
By Hector Castillo

She’s not that kind of girl? Well, here’s a pro tip: all girls are that kind
of girl. Those who say first date sex shouldn’t happen usually have
ulterior motives.

I’m always surprised when men believe sex on the first date is
unlikely, unnecessary, impossible, or even wrong.

I’m never surprised when women have this belief.

You see, when you spend many years with an enlightened view of
women (like I and the contributors on Girls Chase have), it becomes
your norm. Old and misguided beliefs you lost years ago or never
had seem strange and foreign.
Sometimes men say they “want to take it slow” with a girl because
they want something serious, or they might mention that she’s
being a slut because she has sex on the first date. They might even
say she’s a whore despite not sleeping with him on the first date.
When I see this, I know that they are entangled in the Madonna-
Whore complex, which is where this false belief originates. It’s the
root of wrong views about quick sex.

Men lose so much from this ignorance.

However, when a woman says it, she has everything to gain and little
to lose.

To understand why women pretend to believe that “sex can’t

happen on the first date” and why men fall for the lie, we will go
through what motivations a man or woman might have for
holding this wrong view.

In the sense of good and bad, it has very little to do with morality
and instead is about the morality of status-gaining and control, and
mate-screening.

Women rightly want what is best for them. They want the best man
they can get. If we start with this simple premise, everything about
the idea of “not having sex on the first date” becomes translucent.
We see an innocent idea as something much more.

When you see this idea for what it is, you will wake up to a new view
of women.

It is a liberating view.

You will walk around the world as a hunter, knowing that you can
screw any girl, and I mean any girl on the first date.
I don’t care if she’s a Queen or just thinks she is one on Instagram,
you can slay her on the first date.

Now, why might a man believe this romantically pernicious idea?

The White Knight Rages Against Sex on the

First Date
How many jokes have you heard about the white knight in the past
few years?

They seem to be this mythical creature these days. Maybe it’s

because I’m in Eastern Europe, and white-knighting is less common
here, so I don’t see many of these guys in person. Perhaps it’s
because I’m very strict about who I become friends with.

Either way, a white knight doesn’t need to be the guy defending

some thot. White knights don’t always have to be extreme.

You, my good sir, might even have some white knight mentality
still in your mind.

It can be as small as thinking about any girl screwing a guy quickly,

as in “Haha, but you barely even know her! Didn’t you just meet her
an hour ago?” with a slightly judgmental tone. That’s a sign of
white knight mentality being shocked by quick sex.

You see, deep down, a white knight believes that quick sex is
disrespectful.

He believes that focusing first on a woman’s sexual value

communicates that you don’t see anything else amazing about her.
You’re shallow to want sex so quickly, in his mind. You should get to
know her better!
He not only is insulted by the man’s actions but also by hers, if she
accepts his quick advances. Often, though, he will defend her
“stupidity” by assuming “She just doesn’t see how he only cares
about her body,” or “She deserves better.”

This mentality is ironically disrespectful. In fact, it's toxic.

It’s disrespectful to sexuality’s beauty and the intelligence and

righteous selfishness of both the man and the woman. Believing
that sex on the first date is disrespectful assumes that the man is
wrong for only wanting her body. There is nothing wrong with only
wanting to bang her and having little interest in her otherwise.

As long as your selfishness doesn’t hurt her or anyone else, it’s

morally neutral or even positive. And if I recall correctly, women
REALLY love dick. It’s the only part of their day where they willingly
and excitedly scream. Also, why assume the man only wants sex?
He might. He might not. You don’t know him (or are you him and you
are judging yourself?).

This is the most common interpretation of sex on the first date by all
those against it — that the guy only wants sex. You know, you can
want sex AND romance. They’re not mutually exclusive. Hell, I don’t
even really know a girl until I’ve slept with her a few times.
And what if the woman DOES want to be an object of lust? She'll be
disappointed if you don't try.

Women clearly enjoy being desired by the men they love, and men
they barely know. Women want to feel sexy. To deny this means you
don’t know much about women, are judgmental (and usually
jealous) of men, and are the shallow sucker in the group.

In short: “No, you.”

You can’t ride in on a shining horse if you don’t have a horse. If your
moral foundation is empty, then you need to save yourself first
before saving her.

The Traditionalist Fears Sex on the First Date

This one even gets some seasoned players. There are a lot of
fuckboys out there who enjoy their “single life,” but because of
finding “the one” or getting too old or going through a cold phase,
they decide to hang up the spurs.
Deep down, they’re a traditionalist at heart. They believe in family,
love, children, commitment, etc. And that’s fine. Those are good,
wholesome things. I dig ‘em. Many of you are this guy. But this
shouldn’t affect your views on quick sex.

Deep down, you have a problem with first date sex, because you still
believe that only whores have quick sex and that a potential
wife/mother-of-your-children takes it slow.

Ideally, you would understand that there is no real distinction here

between the two archetypes.

It’s not so much how quickly a woman has sex, but how many
partners she's had and whether she has cheated before. Also, did
her sex turn into a relationship or does she have a history of casual
screws?

Sure, if your girlfriend had six boyfriends in the past three years and
banged them all on the first date, there’s a problem. And it IS a good
sign if her OTHER boyfriends took a long time to get her.

But this has absolutely nothing to do with how quickly YOU

should sleep with her.

You should ALWAYS want to sleep with her ASAP. Her making you
wait might be a smokescreen. Maybe she makes you wait, but she
didn’t make JOHNNY wait back in college or HANK from Tinder last
month. You gain nothing and lose everything by waiting.

Obviously, you can’t and won’t sleep with EVERY girl on the first
date, but it’s ideal if you do. It makes you sexy, dominant, and cool
for having achieved it, ESPECIALLY if she’s normally prudish and has
made other boyfriends and lovers wait.
You are the exception, not the rule (even if you are the rule!). And
being the exception makes your relationship much more passionate
and healthy. She will date or marry and sire the children of a strong,
dominant man.

So start thinking like a frickin’ champion.

Man Submits to the Idea of No Sex on the First

Date
It’s as simple as this: a man submits to a particular woman, a level of
quality, or women as a whole. He truly believes them to be
unscrewable on the first date.

I’ve seen some guys gripe that “This quality of girl can be banged
on the first date,” but a girl like “THAT GIRL,” nah, that’s too hard.
They don’t even have to say it. They think it.

Gorgeous, high class, doesn't dress like a hooker? She'll have sex on
the first date, too. With the right guy, that is.

And so they take it slower with her. Maybe they even screw her
eventually. But they knew instinctually they were not up to the task
and defeated themselves before they even started.

Perhaps they have a good relationship, and everything is fine, but

you lose some dominance points having unnecessarily forfeited.
And you stand a VERY good chance of losing a girl after the first
date. Some guys are great at holding interest, but that’s because
they’re good boyfriend candidates. So they run into the
aforementioned problem. Or they’re like most guys and lose it after
the first date.

In my experience, if you don’t bang her on the first date, you did
something wrong. I hear some guys tell me, “You know, man, I think
she just needs one or two more dates.” This is not wrong.
Sometimes you don’t perform as well as you could have. You had a
rough start and need to fix your seduction a bit. You were too
arrogant. Too nice. Whatever.

You’re not going to bang every girl on the first date, but always
remember, it was probably your inability to pull it off.

Didn’t have enough time? Should have scheduled the date better.

Didn’t notice the time pass? Your bad.

Weren’t confident she was 100% down? Never know, you didn’t try.

I have a lot of friends who insist it’s not so important to screw a girl
quickly and instead have more patience. I tell them they’re not
respecting the art. And usually, when they’re SO confident they’re
going to bang a girl they went on one date with before, I smile. What
makes me smile more is when they tell me about some hint she
gave, but they blew it off as not a big deal.
“Oh, I’m 100% going to screw her, no doubt.”

I ask a few weeks later, “Hey, man, you ever bang the ‘ol girl?”

“Uhh, no….”

And then proceed to give me X and Y reasons.

Uh-huh.

They will hopefully see one day that there are patterns with lust and
love.

No girl is impossible to sleep with on the first date, because they’re

just girls.

Man Competes with No Sex on the First Date

Some men might plant a seed of doubt in your mind so that you
don’t snatch a girl up.

"Oh, you wanna ask her out? She's a good girl. You need to go
reeeeeal slow with her."

Men love to do this especially when they know they don’t have a
chance; they don’t want you to have a chance, either. If they
can’t have her, they’ll stop as many other men from having her as
they can.

White knights do this, and likely a lot of men reading this article.

“She’s not that kind of girl.”

Any guy who says this, I will tell you what to do. Turn to him, look
him in the eyes, smile, and say, “Every girl is that kind of girl.”

Woman Hides with No Sex on the First Date

As I said, the motivation of men for proclaiming “No sex on the first
date!” comes from a strange place. It has to do with feeble
competitive tools, exasperations of defeat, and wrong views.

But women, ah, their case is different. Their strategy is defensive.

So long as they are young and beautiful, men will crave them. Sure,
they can heighten their appeal with status, fashion, and other tools,
but their main strategy in the mating market is defense.

Women want to be spotless. Even the women who claim to be

rebels and outcasts are just appealing to the niche of men they
like. They don’t want any smears on their names.

And the worst smear that a woman can have in the sexual market is
that of a thot. A whore. A slut.

A woman sleeping with a man on the first date doesn’t make her a
whore. But to some men, it does. Every man has a different line
between a slut and a good girl, and girls have a simple response to
this.

Women make themselves appear as hard to bang as they can, even

if it’s complete lip-service and she is a slut.

I’ve known some prolific peddlers of pussy — girls who have slept
with over a hundred men. And even they would scoff at being
thought of as a slut. Sure, there are moments of truth. Women are
very honest after they get some good dick.

Drunk women in YouTube interviews will confess to screwing a guy

on the first date, or they’ll give some vague requirement, like “Well,
if we REALLY vibe, and if he’s really hot, then yeah, I’ll sleep with him
on the first date,” but that is just another defense.

No matter how much of a slut a girl is or isn’t, they all say the
same thing: “I’m not that kind of girl.” And that’s okay. She’s
just playing her role in the sexual game. I’d do the same if I were
a woman.

Women use blanket moralities like “No sex on the first date” or “I’m
going to make him wait” as screening tools. They say it and see
whether he’ll believe her or see the truth.

“I’m not that kind of girl,” she says.

“No, of course you’re not,” he responds, smiling.

Woman Screens/Rejects with No Sex on the

First Date
When she says “No sex on the first date,” she’s either:

1. Not interested in you

 2. Teasing you and screening

She’ll either indirectly or directly say she doesn’t have sex on the
first date. Girls don’t randomly say “I. Do. Not. Screw. On. The. First.
Date.” They communicate the idea and morality in many different
ways.

If she seems uneasy with the topics of romance, love, relationships,

etc., or she seems uncomfortable talking about sex, then she’s not
interested you.

It might change in time, but for now, it’s a wall between you and her
pussy.

If she’s using it to tease you, it goes like this:

You’re kissing a girl, but as you try to steal another base, she stops
your hand and tells you, “Woah, a little quick.” But if she keeps
kissing you and then says, “I think you’re sexy, and I want to screw
you, I just don’t do this a lot. And not on the first date.” Well, there’s
room for negotiation there.

If her body language is open and she’s still inviting you with her
vibe, expressions, and continues to enjoy your presence, then it’s
probably just a small bump. You just need to persist.
If there's a vibe, push forward. Even if she ultimately says no, she'll
respect you for trying. If you don't try, she might think you don't
desire her, and auto-reject you. You have nothing to lose and
everything to gain by going for sex on the first date.

If she’s cold, aloof, or disinterested, then you’ve got a lot of work to

do, and usually, you won’t recover.

In the end, it’s still just a useful morality that can be broken at
any time if the “right guy” comes along. Even if she firmly
believes she’ll never have sex on the first date, it can happen.

Woman Competes with No Sex on the First

Date
Women pump their prestige by pretending to have prudent
parameters for men she lets in her pussy.

She may even be telling the truth. But if in conversation about sex,
society, or any gossip about sex, she claims she is chaste, slow,
romantic, etc., it could also be a value pump, in addition to it being a
test or rejection.

She’s using “I don’t have sex on the first date” or “No sex until we’re
in love” or “No sex until he’s my boyfriend” to make her look harder
to get in general. It’s especially true if she’s around many people.
This makes her more exclusive and thus more valuable on the
sexual market.

She’s not like other girls. And now you know the truth behind that.
Don't call her out in public, though!

Many Motivations, One Ignorance

Whether it’s a man or a woman, they’ve all got it wrong.

Women always use the morality of “No sex on the first date” as a
defensive tool to protect their status, boost their status, or screen
out the men from the boys.

Men mistakenly believe this ignorance and either romanticize the

logical consequences (and believe there are “good girls” and there
are “whores”) or become a slave to the idea and try to pull others
into their sad ignorance.

Either way, it’s a wrong view.

All women have within them both a whore and a virgin mother.
Some women express the former more than the latter, but do not be
deceived. They all love sex. Rough sex. Dirty sexy. With hot men.

And they don’t mind having it on the first date if you’re the right guy.

Easy fix: be the right guy.

One big step to take in that direction is to stop believing that a
beautiful, classy, sophisticated, and conservative woman won’t suck
some big ‘ol dick a few hours after meeting you.

Love,

Hector

Read Next: Your Best Chance Is on the First Date

About the Author: Hector Castillo

Hector Castillo is the web’s top expert on

getting laid in college. In his small town
university, he went from World of Warcraft
nerd to president of his fraternity in 4
years... And on the way, he bedded close to
50 women. To follow his life up close, follow
his Instagram here. His book King of College is due out soon. Listen
to the 40-minute interview with Hector on his story and some of
his prized tech... and sign up for a 12-week coaching course with
him, here:
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