I

FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t1

School
swer ecl
osingf
ortheDecember
hol
idaysandIwaswalkingfr
om schoolwithmy
twi
nsister,wehadgott
enourreportcardsand
wehadbot hpassedwit
hfly
ingcolours

Me:
"I
'm soexci
tedt
obegoi
ngt
ogr
ade11"
Her
:"
metooandbot hourr
eportcar
dsare
l
ooki
nggood.Ihopefat
herwil
lbehappy"
Me:
"ofcour
sehewi
l
l"
Her:"
youareonlysayi
ngthatbecausey
ouare
hi
sf avour
it
e,nothi
ngyoueverdoisbadinhi
s
eyes"
Me:
"t
hat
'snott
rue"Idef
endedf
ather
"
hel
ovesusbot
hequal
l
yandy
ouknowi
t"
Her
:"
what
ever
"

Shewal
kedaheadofmeangri
lyasshealway
s
doeswhenev
erwehavet
hisconver
sati
on

Ihatetoadmi titbutmyf atherdidfavourmea

bit(wellmaybeal i
ttl
etoomuchIguess)buti t
's
al
l becausemyt wi
nisv eryrebel
li
ous,shetal
ks
backandwear sclot
hest hatrevealherbody
andmyf at
herisabi shopatLi vi
ngspiri
t
Kingdom church( LSKC)

Mymom ont heotherhandisv eryprot

ect
iveof
myt wi
nandusual l
ytalksmyf atheroutof
gi
vingheragoodhi dingbutabov eallmyt
wi ni
s
mybestf r
iend,
ahumandi ar
yandt hebest
si
sterIcouldeverwishfor
Irantocatchupwi t
hherassheopenedt he
gate.Wegotinandwentst rai
ghttot hekit
chen
wherewef oundmot herpeeli
ngpot atoesand
ourfatherr
eadingthenewspaper, sitt
ingathi
s
favouri
techai
rinthecorneroftheroom

Us:
"af
ter
noonmom anddad"
Mom:
"mybabi
es.Howwasy
ourdayatschool
"
Us:
"f
ine"
Dad:
"t
her
epor
ts"
Wehandedhim ourr
epor
tcar
dsandsatont
he
ki
tchenchai
rs
Mom:
"I
'l
lmakey
ouguy
ssandwi
ches"
Us:
"t
hanky
ou"

Wehaddev
elopedt
hehabi
tofspeaki
ngt
he
samethingasifwewerei
neachot
her
'smi
nds.
Fat
herlookedatmyrepor
tandsmi
l
ed

Dad:"
Tsaki,
y oudi
dverywel
lmychil
dandyou
wil
lberewardedhandsomel
yfory
ourhar
d
work"
Me:
"mekhensi
l
epapa"

Helookedatt
heot
herr
epor
tandf
rowned,
twi
n
r
oll
edhereyes

Dad:
"Khensane!
"
Her
:"
yes"
Dad:"
whyar
eyourmar
ksonmat
hemat
icsand
physi
csl
ow"
Her:
"becauseIt
oldy
ouf r
om theonsett
hatI
di
dn'twanttost
udythosesubject
sbutyou
f
orcedme"
Me:
"youcan'
tspeakt
odadl
i
ket
hat
"
Her
:"
it
'st
ruet
hathef
orcedmet
o"
Dad:"
youseeGlor
ia,
thi
schil
dofyour
sisv
ery
di
srespect
ful
andIwon'thav
ethati
nmyhouse"
Her:
"yourbel
oveddaught
erfai
l
edgeography
andEnglishbuty
ouarenotsayi
nganyt
hing"
Dad:
"shewi
l
ltr
yhar
dernexty
ear
"
Her
:"
it
'scr
yst
alcl
eart
hatt
hisi
sapar
thei
d"

Withoutwar
ningmyfatherhi
therwi
tht
heback
ofhishandandshefl
ewof ft
hechai
randmet
wit
ht heshi
nyfl
oor
.Mymom andIgasped

Dad:"
Iwon'tbedi
srespectedundermyr
oof
especi
all
ybya13y earold"
Her
:"
Iam 15"
Shesaidgettingupandtouchingherbleeding
l
ip.Iassumeshebi ther
self.Fatherchar
gedat
heragainreachingf
orhisbeltbutourmot her
stoppedhim

Mom:
"Ri
char
dpl
easedon'
tdoi
t"
Dad:
"outofmywayGl
ori
a"
Mom:
"Mal
ulekashe'
sonl
yachi
l
d"

IhelpedKhensanet
oourbedr
oom andshe
cursed
Her
:"
seewhatt
hatev
ilmandi
dtome?
hehat
es
me"
Me:
"nohedoesn'
ti
t'
sjustt
oughl
ove"
Her
:"
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
oust
il
ldef
endi
nghi
m"
Me:
"andmot
herst
il
ldef
endedy
ouev
ent
hough
y
ouwer
ewr
ong"
Her
:"
what
ever
"

Shegoti
nthecover
sAndgotbusywi
thher
phonewhi
leIwentt
ogethersomei
ceforher
l
ip

WhenIgotback,If
oundherstandi
ngbyt
he
war
drobeandpicki
ngoutcl
othes

Me:
"what
'st
heoccasi
on?
"
Her
:"
there'
sgoi
ngtobeapar
ty,
Nicol
asMbat
ha
i
shavingapart
y"
Me:
"andy
ouknowt
hisbecause?
"
Her
:"
becauseI
'
m meduuh"
Me:
"whyam Ionl
yhear
ingabouti
tnow?
"
Her
:"
becauseIj
ustr
ecei
vedat
extf
rom t
he
cl
assgr
oupchat
"
Me:
"oh"
Her
:"
I'
m cr
ashi
ngont
hisNi
coguysoIhav
eto
i
mpress"

Iwatchedhermaki ngamessoutofour
wardrobe,thenf
inall
yshechooseati
ghtf
it
bl
ackdr essandmat chedi
twithbl
ackbl
ock
heel
s.Sheputonsomemakeup

Her
:"don'
tj
ustst
andt
her
e.Getdr
essedand
l
et'
sgo"
Me:
"I
'm notgoi
ngwi
thy
ou"
Her
:"
ofcour
sey
ouar
esi
l
ly"
Me:
"whati
f..
."
Her
:"
shhhhnotanot
herwor
d"
Shethrewmeherbl acktornjeansandacrop
topwhichIpr ot
est
edthatIwouldn'
twear,she
tookoutagr eymuscl
ev estandweputonour
denimjacketson.Wesnuckoutandt hat
'
s
whenev er
ythingst
art
ed

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Ihadachangeofheartandwrot
ethi
sinst
ead.
It
'sabi
tdi
ffer
entbutIhopeyouenj
oy
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t1

School
swer ecl
osingf
ortheDecember
hol
idaysandIwaswalkingfr
om schoolwithmy
twi
nsister,wehadgott
enourreportcardsand
wehadbot hpassedwit
hfly
ingcolours
Me:
"I
'm soexci
tedt
obegoi
ngt
ogr
ade11"
Her
:"
metooandbot hourr
eportcar
dsare
l
ooki
nggood.Ihopefat
herwil
lbehappy"
Me:
"ofcour
sehewi
l
l"
Her:"
youareonlysayi
ngthatbecausey
ouare
hi
sf avour
it
e,nothi
ngyoueverdoisbadinhi
s
eyes"
Me:
"t
hat
'snott
rue"Idef
endedf
ather
"
hel
ovesusbot
hequal
l
yandy
ouknowi
t"
Her
:"
what
ever
"

Shewal
kedaheadofmeangri
lyasshealway
s
doeswhenev
erwehavet
hisconver
sati
on

Ihatet
oadmiti
tbutmyfat
herdi
dfavourmea
bit(
wellmay
beali
ttl
etoomuchIguess)buti
t'
s
al
l becausemyt wi
nisv eryr
ebel
li
ous,shetal
ks
backandwear sclot
hest hatr
evealherbody
andmyf at
herisabishopatLivi
ngspiri
t
Kingdom church(LSKC)

Mymom ont heotherhandisv eryprot

ect
iveof
myt wi
nandusual l
ytalksmyf atheroutof
gi
vingheragoodhi dingbutabov eallmyt
wi ni
s
mybestf r
iend,
ahumandi ar
yandt hebest
si
sterIcouldeverwishfor

Irantocatchupwi t
hherassheopenedt he
gate.Wegotinandwentst rai
ghttot hekit
chen
wherewef oundmot herpeeli
ngpot atoesand
ourfatherr
eadingthenewspaper, sitt
ingathi
s
favouri
techai
rinthecorneroftheroom

Us:
"af
ter
noonmom anddad"
Mom:
"mybabi
es.Howwasy
ourdayatschool
"
Us:
"f
ine"
Dad:
"t
her
epor
ts"
Wehandedhim ourr
epor
tcar
dsandsatont
he
ki
tchenchai
rs
Mom:
"I
'l
lmakey
ouguy
ssandwi
ches"
Us:
"t
hanky
ou"

Wehaddev el
opedthehabitofspeakingthe
samethingasifwewereineachot her'
sminds.
Fat
herlookedatmyrepor
tandsmi led

Dad:"
Tsaki,
y oudi
dverywel
lmychil
dandyou
wil
lberewardedhandsomel
yfory
ourhar
d
work"
Me:
"mekhensi
l
epapa"
Helookedatt
heot
herr
epor
tandf
rowned,
twi
n
r
oll
edhereyes

Dad:
"Khensane!
"
Her
:"
yes"
Dad:"
whyar
eyourmar
ksonmat
hemat
icsand
physi
csl
ow"
Her :
"becauseIt
oldy
ouf r
om theonsett
hatI
didn'twanttost
udythosesubject
sbutyou
forcedme"
Me:
"youcan'
tspeakt
odadl
i
ket
hat
"
Her
:"
it
'st
ruet
hathef
orcedmet
o"
Dad:"
youseeGlor
ia,
thi
schil
dofyour
sisv
ery
di
srespect
ful
andIwon'thav
ethati
nmyhouse"
Her:
"yourbel
oveddaught
erfai
l
edgeography
andEnglishbuty
ouarenotsayi
nganyt
hing"
Dad:
"shewi
l
ltr
yhar
dernexty
ear
"
Her
:"
it
'scr
yst
alcl
eart
hatt
hisi
sapar
thei
d"

Withoutwar
ningmyfatherhi
therwi
tht
heback
ofhishandandshefl
ewof ft
hechai
randmet
wit
ht heshi
nyfl
oor
.Mymom andIgasped

Dad:"
Iwon'tbedi
srespectedundermyr
oof
especi
all
ybya13y earold"
Her
:"
Iam 15"

Shesaidgettingupandtouchingherbleeding
l
ip.Iassumeshebi ther
self.Fatherchar
gedat
heragainreachingf
orhisbeltbutourmot her
stoppedhim

Mom:
"Ri
char
dpl
easedon'
tdoi
t"
Dad:
"outofmywayGl
ori
a"
Mom:
"Mal
ulekashe'
sonl
yachi
l
d"

IhelpedKhensanet
oourbedr
oom andshe
cursed
Her
:"
seewhatt
hatev
ilmandi
dtome?
hehat
es
me"
Me:
"nohedoesn'
ti
t'
sjustt
oughl
ove"
Her
:"
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
oust
il
ldef
endi
nghi
m"
Me:"
andmotherst
il
ldef
endedy
ouev
ent
hough
youwerewr
ong"
Her
:"
what
ever
"

Shegoti
nthecover
sAndgotbusywi
thher
phonewhi
leIwentt
ogethersomei
ceforher
l
ip

WhenIgotback,
Ifoundherst
andi
ngbyt
he
war
drobeandpi
cki
ngoutcl
othes

Me:
"what
'st
heoccasi
on?
"
Her
:"
there'
sgoi
ngtobeapar
ty,
Nicol
asMbat
ha
i
shavingapart
y"
Me:
"andy
ouknowt
hisbecause?
"
Her
:"
becauseI
'
m meduuh"
Me:
"whyam Ionl
yhear
ingabouti
tnow?
"
Her:
"becauseIjustr
ecei
vedat
extf
rom t
he
cl
assgr oupchat"
Me:
"oh"
Her
:"
I'
m cr
ashi
ngont
hisNi
coguysoIhav
eto
i
mpress"

Iwatchedhermaki ngamessoutofour
wardrobe,thenf
inall
yshechooseati
ghtf
it
bl
ackdr essandmat chedi
twithbl
ackbl
ock
heel
s.Sheputonsomemakeup

Her
:"don'
tj
ustst
andt
her
e.Getdr
essedand
l
et'
sgo"
Me:
"I
'm notgoi
ngwi
thy
ou"
Her
:"
ofcour
sey
ouar
esi
l
ly"
Me:
"whati
f..
."
Her
:"
shhhhnotanot
herwor
d"

Shethrewmeherbl acktornjeansandacrop
topwhichIpr ot
est
edthatIwouldn'
twear,she
tookoutagr eymuscl
ev estandweputonour
denimjacketson.Wesnuckoutandt hat
'
s
whenev er
ythingst
art
ed

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Ihadachangeofheartandwrot
ethi
sinst
ead.
It
'sabi
tdi
ffer
entbutIhopeyouenj
oy
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

Thepart
ywasso, so,sopar
tyli
ke.Loudmusi
c,
boozeeverywhereandIwasv er
y
uncomfort
able.Iref
usedtodri
nkalcohol
soI
wasdri
nkingsomesoda.

Khensanedi
sappear
edonmeandIbadl
y
wantedtogohome
Iwentinsi
dethehousel
ooki
ngformytwinso
wecouldgohomebutshewasnowher etobe
seen.Igaveupandslumpedonthecouch

AgoodlookingguybythenameofNicolas
Mbathaj
oinedme.Hewast hehostofthispar
ty
andwewer eathishome.Hewasverypopular
i
nschool
forhi
sgoodlooksandbri
ll
iantbr
ain.
Hewasgoodatal
lthespor
tsinschool
andhehadj
ustf
ini
shedwr
it
inghi
smat
ri
c
exams

Heisal
somyt
win'
scr
ushandshemel
tsatt
he
si
ghtofhi
m

Hi
m:"
youl
ookl
ostwhyar
en'
tyoumi
ngl
i
ng?
"
Me:"
Iam l
ooki
ngformytwinsi
sterandi
t
seemsl
ikeshedi
sappear
ed"
Him:
"dr
ink?
"hewav
edaHei
nekenbot
tl
einf
ront
ofme
Me:
"not
hanksbutI
'
m sur
pri
sedt
haty
oudr
ink"
Hi
m:"
because?
"
Me:"
wel
lyouar
eint
hepr
aisewor
shi
pteam and
..
."
Hi
m:"
youar
eal
soatapar
ty"
Me:
"t
hat
'sdi
ff
erent
"
Hi
m:"
howso?
"

Hel eanedcloserforakissandIfoundmysel
f
closingmyey esbefor ehi
m.HekissedmeandI
soakedupt otheaffecti
on(
mindyouthi
swas
myf irstki
ssev er,
ImeanI '
mf r
ontastr
ick
fami l
yandal l
).

Hewentonabi tlongerpushinghistonguein
mymout hslowl
y.Hesuckedonmyl i
ps
i
nter
changingboththebot t
om andthet opl
ips.
Hi
slipsweresosmoot h.Hehadasl i
ghtbit
ter
t
astefrom t
healcoholbutthesweetnessofhi s
mouthworkovert
ookt hebitt
ertast
e

Hel
i
ftedmewi
thoutbr
eaki
ngt
heki
ssand
carr
iedmetohisr
oom,Ial
mostdidn'
tnot
ice
whatwashappeni
ngar
oundme.Heputmeon
hisbedandki
ssedmehungri
l
ythenhestopped

Hi
m:"
shal
lIl
ockt
hedoor
?"
Me:
"uhm y
eah"

Icl
ear edmythroatwhi
lehelockedt
hedoor,my
heartwasbeatingoutofcontr
olasIwonder
ed
whatwoul dhappennext.I
fonlymytwi
nwas
here,she'
dknowwhatt odo.

Hesmi ledsheepishlyatmeandt ookoffhi

s
shir
t.Igaspedathi sbody,
itwasli
keoneof
thesesont hemov ies,
sixpack,
portabl
e
muscles,ev er
ythinginshapeandlotsof
tatt
oos
Me:
"wow"
Hi
m:"
youl
i
ke?
"
Me:
"i
t'
sver
yni
ce"

Hestoodbyt hebedandhel pedmet akeofmy

cl
otheswhilehecont inuedwi t
hhismind
bl
owingkiss.Ifelthisbreathonmyneckashe
ni
bbledonit,thenhewentont omyhard
ni
pplesmakingmemoani nvol
untar
il
y.He
l
ookedatmest raightinmyey esandenter
ed.

Iwassor eadyforhi
m agreei
ngt omi nutesof
thegreat
estpainofmylif
e.Real isi
ngt hatit
wasmyf irstt
imehehandledmesl owlyand
gentl
ywhileIoccasi
onal
lypushedhi m of fashe
wentdeeperfil
li
nganyspact hatImighthav e
haddowni nme.Mymi ndbur stintoexcitement
asIreachedcli
maxforthef i
rstti
me.
Ical
l
edouthisnameunwi l
l
ingl
yandheletouta
howlandrel
axedontopofme.Hemashedour
bodi
estoget
herandpull
edoutrest
inghi
shead
onmychest

Hi
m:"
wow"
Me:
"youusedpr
otect
ionr
ight
?"
Hi
m:"
nobutI
'
m cl
eandon'
twor
ry"
Me:
"Ihav
etogo"
Him:
"noways,
restabi
tIknowy
ouhur
ti
ng
downther
e"
Hesai
dthatr
ubbi
ngmycl
i
twi
thhi
sthumb
Me:
"t
hiswasami
stake"

Isuddenl
yfel
tgui
lt
yasIremember
edt
hatmy
twinbadl
ywantedthi
sguy
Hi
m:"
rel
axy
ouwor
ryt
oomuch"
Wit
hthathef el
li
ntoadeepslumberandIl
ay
awakeprocessi
ngwhatjusthappened

Imovedcar ef
ull
ynottowakehi m andputon
myclothes.Iunl
ockedt hedoorandwentoutto
meetmydr unkardsisterdanci
ngwithanolder
guywhowasal r
eadytouchingher
i
nappropri
atel
y.Idraggedheroutofther
eand
wewalkedhome

Acarpul
lednextt
ome,t
hedri
v err
oll
eddown
t
hewindowandmyheartnear
lystoppedasI
r
eal
isedthati
twasNi
co

Hi
m:"
it'
snotsafetowal
katt
hist
imeespeci
all
y
i
nthi
sneighbour
hood"
Me:
"we'
l
lmanage"
Him:
"st
opbeingstubbor
nandgeti
n.Yoursi
ster
canbar
elywalk"

Hehel pedputmysi steratt

hebackandIgoton
thefrontseatanddirectedhi
mt oourhome.He
helpedussneakbacki nandItuggedmysist
er
i
n.Ihear dhim dr
iveoffandtookadeepbreath

Iwasdy ingtotakeabat hbutIcoul dn'

tbecause
mypar entswouldhearmeandst artaski
ng
questi
ons. .
.Perksoflivi
nginaf iveroom house
wit
ht wobedr ooms, ki
tchen,bathroom and
di
ningroom.I twasnotsmal lnorbig,j
ust
enough.Fatherwor kedatthebut cheryand
motherwasahousewi febutdidpeopl ethei
r
hai
r,shealsosol dsweet sandsnackssowe
werenev erhungry

Thenextdaywewokeupt
oourchor
eswi
th
t
winhavi
ngahangover
.Shewasbusywi th
l
aundr
ywhil
eIwassweepingsthey ar
d.Dad
wasbyhi
sfavour
it
echairobser
vingus

Him:
"l
ookathowherhandslazi
l
ymov
ewhen
shewaswashest
hoseclot
hes"
Me:
"she'
snotf
eel
i
ngwel
lpapa"
Hi
m:"
gaahnonsense"
Mom:
"br
eakf
asti
sreadyev
ery
one"
Wegather
edupt
heki
tchent
abl
eandat
ein
si
l
ence.

Aftert
hatwecont
inuedwi t
hourchor eswhil
e
dadwenttothebutcherandmot heratt
endeda
customerwhowantedast r
aightup.
Iwentandr
anabat
h.Twi
nbor
eherhugeey
es
i
nme
Me:
"what
?"
Her
:"
yourneck"
Me:
"whatabouti
t?"
Her:
"l
ovebi
tes,
yougothi
cki
esev
enony
our
br
east"
Me:
"huh?
"

Ilookedatmysel
fint
hemi r
rorandsur
eenough,
theredmarkswerevi
sibl
e

Her
:"
tel
ltel
ltel
l
"
Me:"
welli
thappenedt
hatIdi
dsl
eepwi
th
someone"
Her:
"youlie"shegaspedandsatont
het
oil
et
seatstar
ingatmet hewholeti
me
Me:
"i
tjusthappenedandIdi
dn'
tpl
ani
t"
Her:
"wesaidweweregoingt
obreakour
vi
rgi
nit
ytoget
heronour16thbi
rt
hday"
Me:
"Iknowbuti
tjusthappened"
Her
:"
thedet
ail
ssi
ster
"

Shemadeher selfcomf or
tableasIswal l
owed
dif
fi
cultybutIdidn'tl
ie.Itol
dherev erydetail
andshesati nsilence.Icouldn'tr
eadherf aci
al
expressionsf
ort hefirstt
imei nmyl i
fe.Iwas
donewi thmybat handwewentt oourbedr oom

Me:
"anycomment
s?"
Her
:"
no"
Me:
"Iknowy
oul
i
kehi
m but.
..
"
Her
:"i
t'
sokaysi
s,Iam gl
ady
ouar
epastt
hat
pai
nfulst
age"
Me:
"butIdon'
thav
eanyf
eel
i
ngsf
orhi
m or
any
thi
ng"
Her
:"pl
easedomeaf avourandstopfeel
ing
gui
lt
y.Iwasn'tevenwit
htheguysoi t
'snotl
ike
hecheated.Ij
ustli
kedhimthat'
sall
"
Me:
"r
ightsol
et'
sgot
othepar
k"
Her
:"
Ijustwantt
orest
.Youcanl
eav
e

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Goodmor
ning
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t3

Thenextfewweekswer
ereal
lyawkward
betweenus,t
winwasal
waysoffandkept
avoidi
ngmebutsai
dshewasn'tangr
yatme.
Shewasalwaysonherphoneandkeptt
he
conv
ersat
ionsshor
t

Ididn'
tseeNicothatmuchei
ther.Wesaweach
otheratchur
chonlyandhewasbei nghisusual
self,
hedidn'
tbri
ngupwhathappenedt hatday
hejustaskedifwewereokaythenthatwasit

Iwasal sonotmyusual sel

f,Ifeltl
i
kemybody
wasn'tmine.Aftersometime,Idecidedt
obuya
pregnancytestandalmostfaintedwhenit
cameoutposi ti
ve.ItwasonChr ist
masdayand
Iremembercr yi
ngal l
morning
Twi
ntr
iedcomf
ort
ingme

Her
:"pul
lyoursel
ftoget
her,
peopl
eatchur
chwi
l
l
not
icethatyouarenotokay"
Me:
"Inev
erexpect
edt
his"
Her:
"youshoul
dhav ebeenexpecti
ngthi
s
especial
l
ywheny oudidn'
tpr
otectyour
sel
fwi
th
aguyy ouhar
dlyknow"
Me:
"don'
tj
udgeme"
Her
:"
what
ever
"

Ifi
nall
ygat her
edthecouraget
otell
mydad
aft
erlunchev enthoughtwi
nwarnedme
againstit
.Imademywayt ohi
m andtwi
npul
l
ed
mebyt hearm andwhisper
ed

Her
:"
youcanhav
easaf
eabor
ti
on"
Me:
"noIam t
ell
i
ngdad"
Her:
"don'
tbestupiddoy
ouwanthi
mtobeat
youblackandblue?"
Me:
"hewon'
t"
Her
:"
got
hen"
Isatdownnexttomyf atherandt
oldhi
m and
hisresponsewasunexpected.
Icoul
dn'tmissthedisappoi
ntedl
ookonhis
facebecauseIwasanangel inhi
seyes,he
alwaysthoughtKhensanewouldgetpr
egnant
fi
rst

Fatherwassoconcernwithwhatpeoplewoul
d
sayifhi
sdaughterwaspregnantoutofwedl
ock
.Heputt hatweddi
ngtogethersofastt
hatI
didn'
thaveti
met obl
ink.

Nicoalsodidn'
thav easayei t
her
,hi
sfatherwas
adeaconatmyf ather'
schurchandhewasn't
goingtolethi
ssonembar rasshi
m by
i
mpr egnati
ngagi r
l out
sideofmarri
age.Soby
the31stofDecemberwehadal r
eadysigned
andmar ri
ed.
Hisfat
herpai
dlobol
aandIwastodr
opoutof
schoolandgoli
vewit
hhi
sgrandmot
heri
nthe
rur
als

Onnewy ear
sdayIpackedal
lmyclot
hesand
pr
eparedtoleave.Twi
ncametot
heroom wi
th
aglassofj
uice

Her
:"
Ican'
tbel
i
evet
his"
Me:
"menei
ther
.Ev
ery
thi
ngi
shappeni
ngso
f
ast
"
Her
:"
dri
nk"
Me:
"t
hanks"
It
ooktheglassandgul
peddownal
loft
hej
uice
whil
estandi
ngup
Her
:"
wowy
ouwer
eindeedt
hir
sty
"
Me:
"Iam j
ustt
oosad"
Her
:"
met
oo"
Me:
"I
'l
lmi
ssy
ou"
Her:
"t
hisist
hef
ir
stt
imewe'
l
lev
erbe
separ
ated"
Me:
i
t'
sser
iousl
ynotcool
"
Her
:"
buteyit
'shappeni
ng.Youar
emar
ri
edt
o
t
heeNichol
asMbat ha"
Me:"wear
enoteveninlov
eandhe'
snotcoming
withmetother
ural
s,Iam goi
ngt
her
eforafull
year"
Her
:"
it
'snotf
air
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Her
:"
I'
m sur
eifIwast
heonepr
egnantf
ather
woul
dhave. .
."

If
eltashar
ppai
ncr
ossmywai
st.Iscr
eamed,
I
star
tedfeel
i
ngcr
ampsandtwinrushedoutto
call
mymom andIwasrushedtothenearest
hospit
al.

Ir
ememberwaki ngt
othesoundofbeepi
ng
machines.WhenIfl
i
ckedmyey esopenanur
se
wasintheroom

Me:
"Wher
e'smybaby
?"Iaskedt
ouchi
ngmy
t
ummy
Nur
se:
"I
'
m sosor
ryy
oul
ostt
hef
oet
us"
Me:
"noo"
Nur
se:"
I'
m sosor
ry,
yourf
ami l
yhav
ebeen
wai
ti
ngforyousi
nceyest
erday"
Me:
"i
tcan'
tbe"
Nur
se:
"i
t'
sverypossi
bleespecial
l
ybecausey
ou
wer
eonlyafewweekspr egnant"
Me:
"3weeks"
Nurse:"
sobecausei
twasstil
lbei
ngdev
eloped
,anythi
ngwaspossi
ble.Di
dyouknowyouwer e
pregnant?
"
Me:
"Ionl
yfoundoutl
astweek"
Nur
se:
"di
dyoudr
inksomet
hingmay
be?
"
Me:
"Ionl
yhadagl
assofj
uice"
Nurse:
"Imeanwereyout
ryi
ngt
ogetr
idoft
he
dev
elopingfoet
us?
"
Me:
"noIwasn'
tdoi
ngt
hat
"
Nur
se:
"Isee"

Shescr i
bbledonmyf il
eandwal kedout.Ihad
l
ostmydev elopingfoetusjustlikethat.I
remembercr yi
ngunt i
lIpassedout. .
.y esit
wasunpl annedbutl oosingachi ldisvery
painf
ul.Thewhol efamil
ywast herebuti tdi
dn'
t
changeany thing(ot
herthant hef actt
hatIwas
goi
ngbackt
oschool
)

Ihadn'
theal
edandIwasn'
treadyf
ormat
ri
c

Thest oryst
art
stomor
rowproperl
ywithal
lthe
charactersi
ncl
uded thi
sisstil
lthe
i
ntroduction

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t4

°
°
°
°
10y
ear
slat
er

Iam adoctornow,st
il
lmarri
edtoNicosince
thatdayandwedon'thaveanyki
dsafterthe
oneIlost
.Nicowasanengineerst
udentbut
nowownsanengi neer
ingcompany.

Wel i
v einatri
plestor
eyandwer elabeledas
oneofMzanzi '
sri
chestcoupleamongstt hefew.
Weownapr iv
ateschool,anor phanageanda
recordingcompanywher ebymyt winsisteris
thestarofthecompany .Shemakesmusi cand
i
sacel ebr
it
ywhor oll
swiththebigdogs.Shei s
alsoamodel (myfathersti
ll
disapprovesofher
careerchoice)

Myhusbandcamedownst
air
sandf
oundmeon
thephonewi
thmyfat
her,Ihadjustgotinfrom
myshift
.Heper
kedmeont hecheekandgot
himsel
fabot
tl
eofwaterfrom t
hef r
idge.Iput
downmyphoneandlookedathim

Me:
"Shandu"
Hi
m:"
yeboDrMbat
ha"
Me:
"Iseey
ougoi
ngf
ory
ourj
og"
Hi
m:"
yesbutaf
terthatI
'm comi
ngback.Iwant
t
ospendti
mewi t
hy ou"
Me:
"Il
i
ket
hesoundoft
hat
"

Isaidsmili
ng,hewashar dl
ytheromanti
ctype.
Wel ear
nedt oli
vewitheachotheraf
terI
fi
nishedmymat r
ic,
wenev ert
alkedaboutt
he
chil
dwel ost.
I
nf act
,wearenotr
eal
lycl
oseassomepeopl
e
t
hink.Ever
yonei
swrappedupint
hei
rownli
ves
Hefi
nisheddr
inki
ngwat
erandt
ookoutanot
her
bot
tl
e

Hi
m:"
seey
ou"
Me:
"bef
orey
ougouhm remembert
hatmyt
win
wi
ll
beheretomor
row"
Hi
m:"
cool
"
Me:
"okayby
e"

Hewentoutjustl
ikethat.Ourmarr
iagewasjust
anagreementtoaccommodat eeachother
that
'sal
l.Nol
ovenonot hing

Iwenttocheckwitht
hehel
pers,
tol
dthem to
prepar
earoom formytwi
nthenwenttotakea
ni
cebat
handrest
ed.Thatwaspr
ett
ymuchmy
l
if
e,wor
kworkwork

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Iwasenj
oyi
ngmyj
oggi
ngwhenmyphoner
ang.
ItwasNt
ombi

Me:
"Nt
ombi
"
Her
:"
comeandgetmeI
'
m st
randed"
Shesoundeddr
unkandIsi
ghed
Me:
"wher
ear
eyou?
"
Her:
"Idon'
tknow.It
hinkIam somewher
e
somewhere"
Me:
"okayst
aywher
eyouar
eI'
m comi
ngnow"

Irushedhomeandt ookoneofmycar s,Nt

ombi
i
sonehel lofasister.She'salwaysaskingfor
moneyanddr i
nksitaway .Ithinkshe'
snowi nt
o
drugstor
e,Itr
iedther ehabthingbutshe
escaped.Itr
iedtoughl ovebutIcan'tseem to
helpher

Iusedthe'fi
ndmyphone' t
racki
ngappand
foundhersit
tingonthepavementi
nsome
place.Igotoutofthecarandembracedher

Me:
"ar
eyoual
ri
ght
?"
Her
:"
Iam t
hanks"
Me:
"geti
nlet
'sgo"

Wegotinandshet ol
dmewhathappenedwhi l
e
Iwasdri
vi
ngt omyplace.Ili
stenedat
tentiv
ely
unti
ll
wear r
ivedthenorderedforhert
ot akea
bathandr
est .Iaskedoneofthehelpersto
bri
ngherfood

Iwentt
othebedr
oom andf
oundTsakanebusy
onherl
aptop

Me:
"t
houghty
ouwer
erest
ing"
Her
:"
whathappenedt
oyourj
og?
"
Me:"
ohemergencycal
l
.Hadt
otakecar
eof
somethi
ng"

Isatont
hecouchandswi
tchedont
heTV.Her
ey
eswer
ebor
edi
ntome

Her:
"youknowwe'vebeenmarri
edf
ort
enyear
s
butyousti
llf
indi
thar
dt oopenupt
ome"
Me:
"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Her
:"wedon'tdodeepconv er
sati
onslike
nor
mal couplesdo.I
t'
sjustcasualsexand
not
hingmor e"
Me:
"whatdoy
ouwantTsaki
"
Her
:"
IwantmoreNico,
exampl
e,what
emergencyy
ouhadtoatt
end?
"
Me:
"i
twasNt
ombi
"
Her
:"
uh-
huh"
Me:
"she'
spr
egnantbutdoesn'
twantt
hebaby
"

Shekeptqui
etf
oraf
ewseconds
Her
:"
let
'sadoptt
hebaby
"
Me:
"excuseme?
"
Her
:"
yeahImean,
Ntombii
syoursi
sterandit
woul
dbenicet
ohaveachi
ldrunni
ngaround"
Me:
"no"
Her
:"
par
don?
"
Me:
"Isai
dno"
Her
:"
but...
"
Me:
"t
het
opi
cisexhaust
edsol
et'
sleav
eit"

Ient
eredi
ntot
hebat
hroom f
oracol
dshower

°
°
°
°
Khensane

Li
ghts!Camer
a!Act
ion!
wasthel
i
feIl
i
ved.I
enj
oyedever
ymomentofit

Ifi
nishedwiththephotoshoot.Iwas
adverti
singswim wearandIwasonmywayt o
l
unchwi thmyBFFsBonangLel akaandJayaJay
.Idr ov
et otherest
aurantandfoundthem
al
readywai t
ingforme

Me:
"hel
l
ohi
"
Jay
:"gi
rl
fr
iend"
B:
"best
iemi
ne"
Jay
:"weal
readyor
der
edf
ory
ousweet
ie"
Me:
"t
hanksJay
"
Isatdownaftergi
vi
ngt hem bot
hhugsanddug
i
n,wet al
kedaboutrandom stuf
fli
keweal
ways
do

Jisflamboyantandbubly,
hemakesmel augh
everyti
meandhei sverygoodwithhai
rand
makeup.Hei safashi
ondesigner,
heownsa
salonandisSomiziMhlongointhemaking
mor eespeci
all
ybecauseheisJasonMhl ongo
himself

Bisast rai
ghtt
alker,she'
sreal
lyupf
rontabout
everyt
hingunli
kethesensit
iveJ.Sheisalway s
moodybutIl i
keherjustthewayshei s.Sheis
anarti
standownsherowngal l
erystudio.
..Tal
k
aboutli
fegoals,Ihavetheemostwonder ful
fr
iendsinthewor l
d
J:
"sowhathav
eyoupl
annedt
hisweekend
missy
?doyouguy
swantagir
l'
sni
ghtin?"
B:
"we'
vealr
eadyhadbot
hgir
l'
sni
ghti
nand
gi
rl
'
snightouti
nonemonthJ"
Me:
"I
'm goi
ngtovi
sitmysist
erinJohannesbur
g.
I
'ml
eavingtomor
rowsorryguys"
J:
"soI
'
llbeal
onet
hisweekendbet
huna"
Me:
"wej
ustaphonecal
lawayJdon'
tsul
k"
J:
"si
ngl
eli
fei
snotcool
aft
eral
l
"
Bonangwasey i
ngmeinapecul
i
arwayandI
knewshehadsomet hi
ngt
osaybecauseshe
keptpout
ingherli
ps
Me:
"t
alkB"
B:
"Iwantt
oaskf
ri
end"
Me:
"okay
"
B:
"howar
eyougoi
ngt
ofacey
ourt
win?
"
Me:
"meani
ng?
"
B:
"Imeanshe'
smarr
iedt
oyourcr
ushandy
ou'
l
l
bearoundt
hem f
ort
heweekend"
Me:"f
irstof..
.Nicoisnol
ongermycr ushand
secondly,I
t'
snotli
keIhaven'
tseenthese
peoplefortenyear
s.Ial
way sseet
hem"
J:"
butyouonl
yseethem foraf
ewminut
es
whil
eyouguysarevi
sit
inghome,nowi
twil
lbe
thewholeweekendwit
hthem"
Me:"
I'
vespentsomanyweekendswi
thmyt
win
bet
huna"
B:"
yeahyeahbuty
ou'v
enev
erbeenar
oundt
he
twoofthem and.
..
"
Me:
"Ican'
tbel
i
evey
ouguy
s"
Igotupandgr
abbedmybag
B:"
I'
mjustsay
ingt
hati
fyouneedus,
youcan
cal
lanyt
ime"
J:
"andyoucanjustspendt
hedayandnott
he
wholeweekend"
Me:
"yeahr
ightt
hanksy
ouguy
s"

Istormedoff,Idon'tknowhowt hesetwothi
nk
thatI'
m st
il
lhungov ersomethi
ngthat
happenedteny earsago.Imeant heygot
mar r
iedbecausetheywer eforcedtonot
becausetheylovedeachot herandanywayNico
wasn'tmyboy fr
iendsowhatcoul dbethebig
deal

TruethatIhav
en'tbeenaroundbothofthem f
or
alongtimebutitdoesn'
tmat t
eratall
.Iwentt
o
myapar t
mentandst ar
tedpackingthenhadan
earl
ynight

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t5

Ni
co

Icamebackfrom myj
ogandfoundNtombi
eati
ngi
cecream fr
om i
tst
ub.Shehadherbody
i
nsidet
hefri
dge

Me:
"youknowy
oucoul
duseabowl
"
Her
:"
ohheyI
'
m sor
ry"

Shecl
osedt
hef
ri
dgeandsatdownwhi
l
eI
dr
anksomewat
er

Me:"
Nt ombiy
ouar ejust17butIhavet aken
yououtofthewor stpossi
blescenari
osy et
her
ey ouarethanki
ngmewi thpregnancy"
Her
:"
Itol
dyout
hatIdon'
twantt
hischi
l
d"
Me:
"t
henwhydi
dn'
tyouusepr
otect
ion?
"
Her
:"
Idon'
tknow"

Isi
ghedandlookedathereat
ingli
keamad
per
son.Tsakanecameandsmi ledatus

Her
:"
mor
ning"
Me:
"goodmor
ning"
Nt
ombi
:
"sho"
Her
:"
Ihav
en'
tseeny
oui
nal
ongt
imeNt
ombi
"
Ntombi
:
"yeahy
eah.
..I
'
llbei
nmyr
oom f
ort
he
day"
Me:
"okay
"
Her:
"Shanduwi
l
lyoubehomet
owel
comemy
si
ster?"
Me:
"nowhy
"
Her
:"
Ihav
etogot
owor
k"
Me:"
thehel
per
sar
eher
eandNt
ombi
isal
so
her
e"
Her
:"
okay.
..wher
edi
dyousl
eepl
astni
ght
?"
Me:
"oneoft
hespar
erooms"
Her
:"
ohokay
,Ihav
etogot
hen"
Me:
"by
e"

Shelookedatmewithsomesortofexpectat
ion.
Iper
kedhercheekandshel
eft
.Iwentt otakea
showerandprepar
edtogotowork.Ntombi
emer
gedatmyr
oom

Me:
"pr
ivacyNt
ombi
thi
sisabedr
oom"
Her
:"
I'
m sosor
rybutI
'
m goi
ng"
Me:
"don'
tmakemeask"
Her
:"
tomyboy
fri
end'
s"
Me:
"j
ustl
i
ket
hat
"
Her
:"
Iwasn'
taski
ng"
Me:"
don'ty
oudar
econt
actmewheny
ouar
e
st
randed"
Her
:"
what
ever
"

Ireall
ycareaboutherbutIlackdisci
pli
ning
skil
ls.IwishIcoul
dtoughenuponherbutI
couldn't
.Itookadeepbr eathandwentt owor
k
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Ispentt
hedayworkingti
rel
essly,bei
nga
doctori
shardwork.Iwasmoni tori
ngababy.
Myheartbrokei
ntoami l
l
ionpiecesasIt hought
aboutmychildwhowouldnowbet en.Ididn'
t
evengetachancetofeelhi
m orherkicking

Whatmakest hewholethingworseisthatmy
husbandandIhardl
ytalkandIdowi shIhad
someonetosharewith.Iaskedthemot herof
thechi
ldtoholdt
hebabyandshel etme.Ihel
d
himforafewsecondst henret
urnedhim
°
°
°
°

Khensane

Myt winlivedinwonderl
and.Ikeptadmir
ingly
thehousef orhour
swhil
ewaiti
ngforherarri
ve.
Ihadf i
nishedunpacki
ngandwasnowsur fi
ng
ont heTVchannel sweari
ngacomf ort
abl
e
dress

Voi
ce:
"t
akey
ourf
eetof
fthecouch"

Ial
mostj
umpedi
nfr
ightbecauseIt
houghtno
onewasi nthehouse.Il
ookeduptoseea
musculartal
lmanwhoIr ecogni
sedf
rom t
he
news.Nico
Me:
"youar
ever
yrude"
Hi
m:"
it
'smyhousei
sn'
ti
t?"
Me:
"Iam aguestduuh"
Hi
m:"exact
lywhyy
oushoul
dremov
eyourf
eet
f
rom mycouch"
Herudel
yremov
edmyf
eetof
fthecouchandI
gotup
Me:
"whati
swr
ongwi
thy
ou?
"
Him:"
youar
eacel
ebr
it
yinDur
bannoti
nmy
house"
Me:
"wow,
richandar
rogant
"

Thedooropenedmytwinent
ered.Shel
ooked
soser
iousandgrownup.Ir
ushedtoherand
j
umpedatherunexpect
edl
y

Her
:"
whoawhoal
etmet
aket
heseof
f"
Me:
"DrMbat
hagi
rl
"

Sheturnedar
oundandIcl
apedhandsforheras
shedidsomedramati
cmov ement
s.We
l
aughedandhuggedthenwenttosi
tdown

Her
:"
I'
m sogl
ady
ouar
eher
etwi
n"
Me:
"I
'm sohappyt
oseey
ou"
Her
:"
canIgetanaut
ogr
aph"
Me:"
ohbuty ouar
eal
sol
i
vingt
hatl
i
fel
ookat
t
hisplace"
Her
:"
har
dwor
kpay
sof
fri
ght
.How'
sDur
ban?"
Me:
"youknowDur
bani
sDur
ban.
"
Her
:"
Iseey
ouandShandugetal
ongwel
l
"
Me:
"Iwoul
dn'
tsaygetal
ongwel
lbuty
eahwe'
ve
met
"
Her
:"
good"

Nott obeobservantbutIcoul
dsensesome
tension.Looksl
iketr
oubleinpar
adi
seandIfel
t
sorryfortwin.Marr
iagemustbediff
icul
tI
couldsee
Nichol
asl ooksl
ikeanar r
ogantselfi
shbustar
d
andIdidn'tli
kehim onebit.Ican'
tbel
iev
ethatI
hadacr ushonhi m backthenbutIwasy oung

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Wespentthewholeni
ghttalki
ngandcat ching
up.Ir
eal
i
sedthatwegrewdi ff
erentbutshewas
sti
l
lmybestfr
iendandIlovedherdearly.She
tol
dmeaboutherboyfr
iend

Me:
"soy
ouar
edat
ingy
ourmusi
cpr
oducer
"
Her
:"
youshoul
dmeetMxol
i
si"
Me:
"I
'l
ldef
ini
tel
ymaket
imef
ort
hat
"
Her
:"
whenwast
hel
astt
imey
ouwenthome?
"
Me:
"Iwast
her
elastweekend"
Her
:"
oh"
Me:
"mamar
eal
l
ymi
ssesy
ou"
Her:
"wel
lwetal
kever
yti
meont
hephonebut
youknowIcan'
tgoseeher
"
Me:
"Icant
alkt
ofat
hery
ouknow"
Her:
"uhuh,f
athershoul
dapol
ogi
setomef
or
di
sowninngmeandki cki
ngmeout"
Me:
"butI
'
m sur
eyou'
l
lfi
ndcommongr
ound"
Her
:"
Let
'snott
alkaboutf
atherpl
ease"
Me:
"okay
"
Her
:"
how'
smar
ri
aget
reat
ingy
ou"
Me:
"erit
'sj
ustokaytwi
n.Youknowwegot
mar
riedataveryyoungagebutwear
emaki
ng
i
tworkasbestaswecan"
Her:
"yourhusbandl
ooksl
i
keabul
l
y.Doeshehi
t
you?
"
Me:"
uhm no.
..speaki
ngofmyhusband,
I'
m
sur
ehe'
swantingmebyhisbedsi
de"
Her
:"
ohohk"

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Shegoti
nbedandsmi
l
edatme

Me:
"youl
ookhappy
"
Her
:"
I'
mjustgl
adt
hatmyt
wini
sher
e"
Me:
"Icansee.Sheseemsl
i
keani
ceper
son"
Her
:"
shei
syou'
l
lseet
hat
"
Me:
"okay.
..comeher
e"

Ipul
ledhercl
oserbutherbodywastense.I
ki
ssedherandshetooklongtorespondthen
pul
l
edaway

Her
:"
ahem"
Me:
"what
'swr
ong?
"
Her:"
it
'sj
ustt
hati
t'
sbeenmonthssincey
ou
touchedmesoI'm sur
pri
sedt
haty
ouwantto
now"

Ididn'
tsayanythi
ng.Iundidhersil
kgown.She
wasn'tweari
ngany t
hingunderneathandthat
turnedmeon.Igotont opofherandstart
ed
planti
ngwetkissesalloverherbodystart
ing
withherfor
eheaddownt oherfi
tthighs

Iboughtmyheadslightl
yupandmuf fedher
unti
lshecum onmyf ace.Iposi
ti
onedmy sel
f
andenter
edher.Shegaspedanddughernai l
s
onmyback.Ithrustfastandhardl
ikenever
bef
ore

Iputheri
ndif
fer
entposi
ti
onsuntilshecouldn'
t
handl
eitany
more.Icum insi
dersherri
ghtafter
shedidandImassedourbodiesli
keIdidthe
fi
rstt
imeIsl
eptwit
hher

Itwasthef i
rstt
imeinteny earswe'vedone
somethingliket
his.Usual
lyIwoul dj
ustgiv
eher
oneroundt hatl
eftherunsatisf
iedbutshenev
er
complained.ThenIstoppedt ouchi
ngher

Me:"IknowIhav en'
tbeenthebesthusbandin
allt
heteny ear
sandI '
veseenyoutryevery
thi
ng
i
ny ourpowertobet hebestwif
e.Forgiv
eme
formyactions"
Her
:"
I'
m gl
ady
ouseet
hingsf
rom myv
iew"
Me:
"i
t'
sal
readydawnsol
etmegot
omyst
udy
t
odosomewor
k"
Her
:"
okay
"

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Icouldn'
tsl
eep,Iguessthecoupl
ewashav i
ng
makeupsex.Thewayt heymoanedand
groanedtur
nedmeonespeci all
ybecauseIwas
ri
ghtnexttothem

Itr
iedcal
li
ngMxoli
sit
wicebuthedidn'
tpickup
.Irol
ledmyeyesandautomat
ical
l
ymyf inger
s
wentint
omyalr
eadywetcooki
e.Ibi
tmyl
i
pasI
workedoutmy
self

If
eltashadowandopenedmyey
es.Ni
cowas
st
andingther
ewatchi
ngme

Me:
"whatt
hef
uckdude"
Hi
m:"
keepi
tdown"
Me:
"youguy
sar
etheoneswhost
art
edi
t"
Hi
m:"
itdef
ini
tel
ywasn'
tacompet
it
ion"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryIcoul
dn'
thel
pit
"
Hi
m:"
soar
eyougoi
ngt
ocont
inue?"

Ifl
att
eredwi
thembar
rassmentatt
het
hought
ofwhathesawmedoing
Me:
"yeahnowi
fyoudon'
tmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Heclosedthedoorbehi
ndandIcover
edmy sel
f
wit
htheblanketandfor
cedsl
eep.Whatan
awkwardfi
rstday

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t6

Khensane

Iwokeandf oundmi ssedcall

sf r
om BandJ,I
smil
edatthet houghtthatt
heymi ssedme
al
ready
.Ivideocalledthem knowingthatt
hey
mustbetogether.Theyanswer edandthey
l
ookedamess.

Me:
"Fr
iends!
!"
J:
"gi
rl
fr
iend"
B:
"hel
l
o"
Me:
"howar
eyouguy
s"
J:
"youhav
en'
tupdat
edus"
Me:
"af
terwhaty
ouguy
sdi
d?"
B:
"wej
ustout
li
nedf
act
s"
J:
"butwear
etr
ulysor
ry"
Me:
"Isee"
:'
'
Me:
"t
hehousebet
huna"
B:
"IknowIknowI
'
veseeni
tonTopBi
l
li
ng"
Me:
"i
t'
sbr
eat
htaki
ng"
J:
"t
heguy
?I'
vebeenonhi
sInst
agr
am andhe'
s
smoki
nghot
"
Me:
"myt
wini
sli
vi
ngl
argey
ooh"
B:
"howdi
dhet
reaty
ou?
"
Me:
"t
heyar
ejustokay
"
J:
"andt
hatf
lushedf
ace?
"
Me:
"t
heguycaughtmemust
erbat
ingbet
huna"
B:
"youl
i
e"
Me:
"i
t'
str
ue"
B:
"anddi
dyousl
eepwi
thhi
m"
Me:
"he'
smybr
otheri
nlawbet
huna"
B:
"t
hesamebr
otheryouwer
esupposedt
o
sl
eepwi
tht
enyearsago"
J:
"oopsoops"
Me:
"pl
easestopbr
ingi
ngt
hatupguy
s.Act
ual
l
y
wearedone"
J:
"nobabydon'
t..
."
Ihungupandwentt odomyhy gi
eneprocess,
l
otionedandworebluesummershotsanda
whiteKappashi
rtwithwhit
efl
i
pflops.Iappl
ied
vaseli
neonmylipsandtiedmyweav eneatl
y

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwokeupi nacheer fulmoodbutNi cowasn'tby

mybedside.Icalledinoneofthehel per
sand
tol
dhertopr epareani cebi
gbreakfastforus,
aft
erthatIreali
sedthatNicowast akinga
shower.Idecidedt ojoinhi
m
Iputmyhandsar
oundhi
shi
psandhet
urned.I
gotin

Me:
"canIj
oiny
ou?
"
Him:"
I'
m doneher
ebutIcanspar
eaf
ew
seconds"
Me:
"canwedot
hisev
erydaypl
ease"
Hi
m:"
wel
lwecan"

Het urnedt
hewateronfull
blast.Hespunme
aroundandmademef acetheotherwayand
enteredwit
houtwarni
ngandmov edsl
owly

Me:
"ohwow"
Hi
m:"
youl
i
ke?
"
Me:
"uhhuh"
Hepumpedharderl
if
ti
ngmylegupandgoi
ng
f
ast
er.If
eltmy
selfspl
ashi
ngi
nasecond

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Thebr
eakf
asttablewasso'fi
ve-star'
.Isat
downandi
mmedi atel
yheardtwogi ggingl
ove
bi
rdsmaki
ngtheirwaytothetable.Theysat
downandki
ssed

Me:
"getar
oom guy
s"
Tsaki
:
"goodmor
ningt
oyout
oot
win"
Me:
"ar
ghI
'
m ser
iousbet
huna"
Ni
co:
"mor
ningKhensi
"
Me:
"hi
"

If
lushedagai
nwithembarr
assment
,whatwas
hedoingi
nmyr oom any
way?

Hi
m:"
didy
ousl
eepwel
l
?"
Me:
"Idi
dthanks"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Tsaki
:
"babywi
l
lyoubehomef
ort
heday
?"
Hi
m:"Iwantt
ogi
veyouandt
winspace,
ther
e's
l
otsofcat
chi
ngupt
odo"
Me:
"excusesexcuses"
Twi
n'
sphoner
angandsheexcusedher
sel
f
Hi
m:"
noI
'
vegotbi
l
li
onst
omake"
Me:
"l
ookwho'
sgl
oat
ing"
Hi
m:"
youal
sorubshoul
der
swi
thabowho'
s
whoonTVgir
l"
Me:
"butIdon'
thav
ebi
l
li
ons"
Hi
m:"
yet
"
Tsaki
:
"guy
sIhav
etogo"
Me:
"why
?"
Her:
"emergencyatthehospi
tal
,doct
orShezi
needsassist
ance"
Me:
"got
hen"
Her
:"
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ryt
win"
Me:"
justcomebackaf
tersor
ti
ngev
ery
thi
ng
out
"
Her
:"
babyy
ouokay
?"
Him:
"I
'mjustgl
adIgettospendthedaywi
th
youwhi
leyouareatthehospi
tal
"
Hesai dbeckoningtomeandweal ll
aughed.
Twingat her
edhert hingsandleftmewithhis
tal
kativehusband, t
ot hi
nkthatIact
uall
y
thoughthewasr udeandar r
ogant..
.thi
swasa
dif
ferentperson.

Wespenthour
stel
li
ngeachotherabout
our
sel
ves,weact
ual
lyhadalotincommon

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
Iworkedhar
dassi
sti
ngDoctorShezi
,a
handsomeguywhoeverynursei
scrushi
ngon.
Hecalledmetohi
soffi
ce
Hi
m:"
yousur
ewor
kedy
ourassof
ftoday
"
Me:
"am Isupposedt
obef
lat
ter
eddoc?
"
Iaskedsi
tt
ingonhi
sdeskwhi
lehegoti
n
betweenmylegswi
thhi
schai
r
Him:"
may be,
youseemedi
nagoodmoodt
oday
,
bett
erthanev
eryday"
Me:"Il
ovedwhatIsawt
hismorni
ng,
my
husbandwasgetti
ngal
ongwit
hmyt wi
nver
y
well
"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"yeahsoIam happy
"
Hi
m:"y
ouknowwhatusuall
yhappenswhenyou
l
eaveyourhusbandwi
thy
oursi
sterr
ight
?"
Me:
"nonomyt
winwoul
dnev
er"
Hi
m:"
yout
hinkso?
"
Me:
"Iknowso"
Hi
m:"
okay
,Ir
estmycase"

Het
ouchedmyt
highandIgotup

Me:
"youdon'
tgi
veupdoy
ou?
"
Hi
m:"
giv
eadudeabr
eakhey
"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lnev
ersl
eepwi
thy
ouMusaShezi
"
Hi
m:"
ok"

HegavemeapuppyfacewhichIignor
ed.Musa
i
smybestfri
endandalwaystr
ieshi
sluckon
mebutIwon'tgi
vehi
m achance.Iwenthome
andwaswelcomedbytwinbeengiv
enaf oot
massage
Me:
"okayokayI
'
mjeal
ous"
Her
:"
yourmangi
vest
hebestf
ootmassagesi
s"
Me:
"Icanseebyy
ourf
aci
alexpr
essi
on"
Her
:"Ienv
yyousis,y
ougoteveryt
hingy
ouwant
,
per
fectman,st
ablejobandi
tli
fe"
Me:
"I
'm sot
ir
ed"

It
hrewmy
sel
font
hecouchandki
ssedhubby

Hi
m:"
howwasy
ourday
?"
Me:
"busy
"
Him:"
ohyeah,
yourtwinher
ewast
ell
i
ngme
yourchi
l
dhoodstor
ies"
Me:
"I
'm hopi
ngt
hatshedi
dn'
tfr
yme"
Her:
"nonoIj
ustpaint
edyouwit
hthebr
ush
f
atherwoul
dn'
tpaintyouwi
th"
Thathur
tme, t
herel
ati
onshi
pbetweenmyt wi
n
andmyfatherseemstobehitt
ingherhar
dandI
neededt
omakeapl an.Shegotup

Her
:"
I'
m goi
ngt
otakeanapbet
huna.Seey
oui
n
anhour
"
Me:"
immediat
elyal
sogoingtorestthenwe'
l
l
t
alkwhil
ecounti
ngthehoursbeforeyoul
eave
f
orDurban"
Her
:"
yeahsur
e"

Shewentupst
air
sandIsi
ghed
Me:
"yout
wogetal
ongsowel
l
"
Hi
m:"
yourt
wini
ssoawesome"
Me:
"Iknowr
ight
"
Hi
m:"
sheshoul
dvi
sitmor
eof
ten"
Me:"
ohwellshewil
l
,I'
m gl
adyouli
keher
.Iwas
convi
ncedt
hatyest
erdayyouguy
sweren'
t
okay
"
Hi
m:"
wegotof
font
hewr
ongf
ootbutnowwe
ar
eokay
"
Me:
"good,
nowl
etmegoupst
air
sforawhi
l
e"
Hi
m:"
sur
ethi
ng"

Igotupandhespankedmyass,Igi
ggl
ed,
I
l
ikedthesuddenchangei
nhi
m

.
.
.

Tobeconti
nued..
..y
esterdayIhadahect
icday
bet
hunaandIapol
ogisefornotpost
ing
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t7

Khensane

"
Wekissedt
hest
arsandembr
acedt
hemoon.
"
No!

"Yourloveishurti
ngli
keabr okendr eam .
It
feelssoscarythatIcoul deverlooseyou.Let
themount ai
nsfall.Lettheoceansdr y.Letthe
starsabovestarttoshinenomor e.Youwill
alwaysber i
ghthereinmyhear twhereyou
belong"No!
"
Iwannaf eely
ourlov
ewannafeelyourl
ove
wannafeelyourohhohhohh.
.."ar
ghit'
snot
worki
ng!

Iwastry
ingsomenewl yr
icsformynewsong
butsomethingdi
dn'
tseem ri
ght.Aroundof
appl
ausemademel ookupf rom t
hebed.Nico
wasstandingint
hedoorway

Me:
"cl
ear
lyyoudon'tgi
vepeopl
epr
ivacyi
nyour
mi
ll
i
ondollarhouse"
Him:"
I'
m sorr
ybutIcouldn'
thel
pbutf
eel
obl
igedtoli
stentothewonderf
ulmel
ody
comingfrom thi
sroom"
Me:"wel
lsiryouarewasti
ngyourt
imebecauseI
can'
tgetthelyr
icsri
ght
.Iwanttogobackand
star
tworkingonasingl
e"
Him:
"speaki
ngofsi
ngl
e,ar
eyousi
ngl
e?Idi
dn'
t
asky
esterday"

Heaskedt
hatsi
tt
ingont
hebednextt
ome

Me:
"act
ual
l
ynoI
'
vegotaboy
fri
end"
Hi
m:"
isi
tser
ious?
"
Me:
"It
hinksowhy
?"
Hi
m:"
howl
onghav
eyoubeent
oget
her
?"
Me:
"amonthandwhyt
hesuddeni
nter
esti
nmy
l
ovel
if
e?"
Hi
m:"
I'
mjustaski
ng"
Me:
"okayt
hat
'ssowei
rd"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:"
whatwer
eyoudoi
ngi
nmyr
oom t
hatot
her
ni
ght?"
Hi
m:"
li
keIsai
dIheardsomenoi
set
hendeci
ded
t
ocheckoutt
hedetai
ls"
Me:"Isee...l
i
sten,
thatmademev er
y
uncomf or
tabl
eandIreall
yhopet
hatnot
hing
l
ikethathappensagain"
Hi
m:"
sur
ethi
ng"
Me:"
youshouldgetgoi
ngbecauseIwantt
o
packandfi
nisht
hisonever
se"
Hi
m:"
yeahy
eahofcour
se"

Hegotup,
tur
nedonhisheel
sandwalkedaway
sl
owl
y.Okayt
hisguyi
sreal
lyact
ingv
eryweir
d.

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Iwastaki
ngapeacef ul
napwhenIgotacal
l
fr
om myfather.Iansweredwi
thasmil
e

Me:
"papa!
"
Hi
m:"
daught
er"
Me:
"howar
eyou?
"
Hi
m:"
wear
ewel
lthanksandy
our
sel
f?"
Me:"
I'
m goodt
hanks,
towhatIowet
his
pl
easure?
"
Him:"
isitwrongf
oraf
athert
omi
sshi
s
daughter?
"
Me:"
nonot
hingi
t'
sjustt
hati
t'
smewhousual
l
y
cal
l
s"
Hi
m:"
yourmot
herandIar
eonourwayt
her
e"
Me:
"ony
ourwayt
omyhouse?
"
Hi
m:"wher
eelse?
wearet
aki
ngt
hef
ir
stbus
t
heretomorr
owmorni
ng"

Ithoughtoft
win,f
atherdidn'tknowshewas
hereandIam afr
aidtheymi ghthaveanot
her
fall
outbecauset
heyf ai
ltotolerat
eeachother

Me:
"okayfat
her
,that
'sgoodnews.Ican'
twai
t
t
oseey ou"
Hi
m:"
met
ooseey
out
henby
e"
Me:
"by
e"

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Icall
edNtombi.Wet alkedf orafewseconds
andIwasgladt hatshe'sokay .Afewminutes
l
aterIwassit
ti
ngi nthel oungewi t
hmybest
fr
iendVi
ncentVanWy khav ingaf ewdr
inks

Him:"
I'
m sor
rytoinvi
tey
ouatsuchshortnot
ice,
mywi f
ewantedittobeasurpri
separt
ybut
endeduptel
li
ngmet ogathermyfri
ends"
Me:
"don'
twor
ry,
I'
ll
come"
Hi
m:"
arey
ougoi
ngt
otakey
ourbusydoct
or?
"
Me:
"yesbuti
fnotI
'
llaskhersi
ster
"
Hi
m:"
ist
hesi
steri
ntown?
"
Me:
"she'
sri
ghtundert
hisr
oof
"
Hi
m:"
canIseeher
?"
Me:
"st
ayf
orsuppert
heny
ouwi
l
lseeher
"
Hi
m:"
andpl
easehookmeup"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkNadi
awi
l
lbehappy
"
Hi
m:"
itwi
l
ljustbeaonceof
fthi
ng"
Me:
"unf
ort
unat
elynotwi
tht
hisbabyher
e"
Him:
"Idon'tunder
standwhyyouar
eso
over
protecti
vedudeunlessy
ouwantheral
lto
your
self
"
Me:
"ofcour
seI.
..
"
Hi
m:"
ahaseer
ightt
her
e"
Me:
"Iwasgoi
ngt
osayofcour
senotdummy
"
Him:"
rememberbackinhighschool
howy
ou
usedtowantapieceofher?"
Me:
"howcanIf
orgetdude"
Him:
"Ist
il
lwonderhowyoumar r
iedtheot
her
onet
hough.Younevert
alkaboutit
"
Me:
"It
hinkt
hat
'sy
ourcueVi
nny
,yout
alkt
oo
muchwheny
ouar
edr
unk.Tel
lNadi
athatI
'
llbe
t
here"
Him:"
areyouki
cki
ngmeout?":
"I
'v
ealr
eady
cal
ledyouacab.Wil
lbr
ingy
ourcarwit
hme
tomorr
ow"

Helefti
nasourmood,peoplel
ikedpoki
ngt
hei
r
noseswher
etheydon'
tbelong.
Ihat
ehavi
ngtoexpl
aint
omyf or
merclass
mateswhyIchoset
omarryt
he'wrongtwi
n'
Hemaybemybestfr
iendbutheneedn'
tknow
ev
ery
thi
ngt
hatgoesonmyl i
fe

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Thedi
nnertabl
ewasawfull
yqui
teaseachone
waswrappedthei
rownhead

Me:
"whatt
imewi
l
lyoul
eav
etomor
rowt
win?
"
Her:
"Iwast
hinki
ngofl
eav
ingr
oundabout12
middaywhy?"
Ni
co:
"uhm Tsaki
how'
syourschedul
efor
t
omorrow?"
Me:"
Ihav
etoatt
endaconf
erenceaf
terchur
ch,
i
t'
saSundayr
emember"
Him:"
soVi
nceinv
itedmet
oapar
tywhi
ch
needsapl
usone"
Me:
"Ican'
tgoaboutpar
tyi
ngwhi l
eyouknow
t
hatther
emightbeanemer gencyatwor
k,I
shoul
dbeatchur
chatl
east
"
Hi
m:"
butVi
ncei
smybuddyand.
..
"
Me:
"t
aket
win"

Isaidwithouthesi
tat
ion,
theyl
ookedateach
otheruncomf or
tabl
y

Her
:"
hel
l
oIhav
etobei
nDur
banbyMonday
"
Me:"
youhav en'
tworkedoutasongyetandy
ou
can'
tjustj
umpev er
yt i
meyourboyf
ri
endwants
youto"
Hi
m:"
boy
fri
end?
"
Me:
"yeahhermusi
cpr
oduceri
sherboy
fri
end"
Her
:"
thankssi
sthanks"
Me:
"I
'mj
ustbei
nghonest
"
Her:
"buty
ouar
eri
ghty
ouknow,
hehasn'
tev
en
cal
l
ed"
Me:"
see.
..doi
tasaf
avourt
henI
'
llowey
ou
one"
Her:
"i
fyouputitthatway.
..butIdi
dn'
tbr
ing
anyfancycl
othes"
Me:
"youcanhav
ethecar
dfi
rstt
hingi
nthe
mor
ning"
Her
:"
youl
i
e"

Shejumpedupanddownonherchai
rwi
thgl
ee,
Ihadfor
gott
enhowchi
ldi
shshewas

Hi
m:"
makesur
eyouar
eher
ebyt
wel
ve"
Her
:"
Ipr
omi
se"

Sher
anupst
air
sandwewentt
obed

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Goodmor
ning
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t8

Mxol
i
si

Iwasupal l
nightbusydraft
ingideasf
or
Khensane'
snewal bum .Ipassedoutonthe
couchattheapartmentandwaswokenby
someonehammer i
ngatthedoor

Me:
"don'
tbr
eakmydoorpl
ease"

Iopenedandshet
hrewt
heenv
elopeatme
Me:
"what
'st
his?
"
Her
:"
takeal
ook"

Iopenedt
heenv
elopeandi
nsi
dewer
esonar
scans

Me:
"ennou?
"
Her
:"
I'
m pr
egnantcan'
tyousee"
Me:"
don'tcomeher
ewi
tht
hatbul
l
shi
t,Igav
e
youthepil
l"
Her:
"cl
ear
lyi
tdi
dn'
tworkbecauseIam
pr
egnant,
see18weeks"
Me:"
gogetr
idoft
hatt
hingandgetoutofmy
si
ght"
Her
:"
thatt
hingi
sourbab.
..
"
Me:
"Hey
!Iam notr
eadyt
obeaf
ather
"
Her
:"
youshoul
dhavet
houghtaboutthatbef
ore
r
idi
ngmelikeahor
seandplant
ingyourseedin
me"
Me:"ar
eyougoingt
oleav
eorrat
hery
ouhav
e
securi
tyt
hrowi
ngyouout?"

Shepausedherl
i
psandlookedatmeupand
downforacoolt
enseconds

Her:
"Iwonderwhatwoul
dKhensanesaywhen
shehearsofthi
s"
Me:
"asi
fshe'
dspar
eyou"
Her
:"
tr
ymesweet
ie"
Me:"
Go!bef
oreIdosomethi
ngI
'l
lregr
et.
..oh
andcloset
hedoorbehi
ndyou"

Shecl
i
ckedhert
onguebef
orebangi
ngmydoor
l
oudlythatIfel
tit
'shi
ngesdangl
i
ngaf
ew
secondsaftershehadlef
t

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Shoppingforthepartywithoutusi
ngmymoney
hastobet hehappiestmomentofmyl ife
especial
l
yifit
'sali
mi t
lesscard.Ishoppedti
ll
I
droppedandbyt hetimeIwentbackNi cowas
al
readyreadyandimpat ientl
ywaiti
ng

Me:
"gi
vemet
woseconds"
Hi
m:"
twosecst
ops"

Ir
ushedupst
air
stodomythings,
Itri
edcall
ing
Mxol
isit
otel
lhi
m nott
oexpectmetonight

Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:
"I
'm notcomi
ng"
Hi
m:"
par
don?
"
Me:
"somet
hingcameup"
Hi
m:"
andIcar
ebecause?
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyoucal
lme?
"
Him:"
Idi
dn'
thaveti
menowI
'
m expect
ingy
ou
befor
etheni
ghtfal
l
son"
Me:
"but.
..
"

Hehungup
°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Ihadbeenwait
ingf
orev
erwhenIhear
dthe
soundofheel
scomingdownst
air
sandtur
ned
myheadtosee.

Ialmostdroopedmyjawatthisdropdead
goddessIsawcomi ngdownt hestai
rs.She
wasv erysi
mpleyetel
egant,
wear i
ngaj umpsui
t
thathuggedherbodyperf
ectl
yandni ceheel
s.
Hermakeupwasonpoi
ntandshewasbr
eat
h
t
aking.
..

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Aft
erchurch,
Iwelcomedmypar ent
sint
omy
home.Aftert
heysett
ledinandhadthei
rfood,
fat
heraskedmetositfacinghi
m wi
thmot her
byhissi
de

Hi
m:"
Iseel
i
fei
str
eat
ingy
ouwel
l
"
Me:
"al
lbyGod'
sgr
acef
ather
"
Her
:"
butsomet
hingi
smi
ssi
ng"
Me:
"andt
hatwoul
dbe?
"
Hi
m:"gr
andchi
ldr
en,
weknowwhathappened
l
astt
imebutwewerehopi
ngyouwouldhave
t
ri
edagainthi
sti
me"
Me:
"I
'mj
ust25andt
her
e'sst
il
lti
me"

Ishi
ft
eduncomfor
tabl
yonmyseat
,ifonl
ythey
knewhowbadlyIwant
edki
ds

Her
:"
wear
enotget
ti
nganyy
oungerTsaki
"
Me:"
canwenothav ethi
sconv er
sati
on.
Khensanedoesn'thav
echi l
dreneit
hery
ety
ou
guysareroast
ingmeal one"
Him:
"Khensaneisnotmarri
edandwil
lneverbe.
She'
snotamot herfi
gur
ebutyouare.I
ntel
li
gent
,
marr
ied,dr
ivenandyoufearGod"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Iwassav
edbyacal
lfr
om wor
k

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Tobecont
inued.
..
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t9

Ni
co

[ATTHEPARTY]

Me:
"youl
ookgor
geous"
Her
:"
thanky
oumi
ster
"
Me:
"l
etmei
ntr
oducey
out
oev
ery
one"
Her
:"
I'
m soexci
ted"

Iint
roducedhertoeveryhi
ghrol
lerandbigfi
sh,
manyknewherf rom thebi
ll
boar
ds.She
i
nstantl
ygotalongwel l
wit
hNadia,t
heladyof
thehouse

Vee:
"Iseewhyy
oudi
dn'
twantmenearher
"
Hesaidstandi
ngnextt
omehandingmeadri
nk,
welookedatNadi
aandKhensanechat
ti
ng
acr
osstheroom

Me:
"Ist
il
lwantherdude"
Hi
m:"
hav
eher
"
Me:
"she'
sev
ery
thi
ngIdr
eam aboutandmor
e"
Hi
m:"
Icanseei
tcl
ear
ly,
sheat
enoutoft
en"
Me:
"exact
ly"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwatchedherget
ti
ngintot
hecarthatIhad
parkedint
heghett
ostreet
sofAlexander
,she
greetedmeandborehereyesonme

Ihadt
oldmyparentst
hatIwasgoi
ngtocol
l
ect
somet
hingatworkbutr
antoNtombii
nst
ead
Me:
"t
hanksf
oragr
eei
ngt
omeetme"
Her
:"
didNi
cosendy
ou?
"
Me:
"nobuthedi
dtel
lmesomet
hingi
nter
est
ing
t
heotherday
"
Her
:"
spi
titout
"
Me:"
hetol
dmet haty
ouarepr
egnantandt
hat
youdon'
twantt
ohav et
hechi
l
d"
Her
:"
somuchf
orbei
ngadi
scr
eetbr
other
"
Me:"
noI'
m hi
swi
fer
emembersoweshar
eour
bur
dens"
Her
:"
didhesayt
hatI
'
m abur
dent
ohi
m?"
Me:
"nonotatal
l
"
Her
:"
tal
k"
Me:
"i
t'
sjustthatIdon'
twanty
out
oter
minat
e
t
hepregnancy"
Her
:"
oh?
"
Me:
"Iwanty
out
ogi
vemet
hatchi
l
d"
Her
:"
giv
e?"
Me:
"yesbutNi
codoesn'
thav
etoknow"
Her
:"
bat
hongTsakane!
"
Me:
"pl
easeI
'
m despar
ate"
Her:
"Ican'
tdosomet
hingl
i
ket
hatt
omybr
other
I
'm sorr
y"

Shegotoffthecarandl
eftmeshaki ngatthe
thoughtt
hatshemightt
ellherbrot
her.Iwent
homeandt r
iedacti
ngcool.Ihadtofakea
headachesoIcouldbeal
lowedt ogotobed

°
°
°
°
Khensane

LATER

Ni
coandIhadsuchati
meathi
sfri
end'
shouse.
Nadi
aissuchawonder
ful
woman.Wewerein
t
hecardri
vi
nghome

Me:
"t
hanksf
ort
aki
ngmet
othepar
ty"
Him:"
thankyourt
winbutIshoul
dal
sot
hankher
forl
ett
ingusgotoget
her,youar
egr
eat
company "
Me:
"justdon'
tgett
ooat
tachedsbar
i,Iam bad
i
nfl
uence"
Hi
m:"
Imi
ghtj
ustenj
oyt
heat
tachment
"
Me:
"ohwow,
badhusband"
Hi
m:"
sowhydidn'
tyout
ell
mey
ouhadacr
ush
onmeyear
sago"
Me:
"i
twassuchanev
ilt
hingt
ocr
ushony
ou"
Hi
m:"
comeonI
'
m nott
hatbad"
Me:"
fi
rstofy
ouaremar
ri
edt
omyt
winandy
ou
ar
etryi
ngtofl
ir
twit
hme"
Hi
m:"
probabl
ynotabadi
deat
otr
y"
Me:
"si
esIcan'
tbel
i
evey
ou"
Hi
m:"
giv
emeachance"

Hestoppedonthesi
deoft
heroad,gotoutand
cametoopenthedooronmyside.Hehelped
meout

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"
Hi
m:"
Iam t
ryi
ngt
oseducey
ou"
Heaimedforaki ssandIt urnedmyhead.I
mustsaythatIwast emptedbyhispinkl
ipsand
hiscol
ognethatfill
edmynosemaki ngme
weakonmyknees, butIknewmypl aceandI
wouldn'
tdoanythingt ohurtmytwinespeci
all
y
seei
nghowshet r ustsmear oundherman

Me:
"noNi
co,
wecan'
tdot
his"
Hi
m:"
why
?"
Me:
"I
'v
egotmor
als"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
okayI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"t
hisbet
terbet
hel
astapol
ogyf
rom y
ou"

Heshif
tedsl
owlymakingsur
ethatIfel
tev
ery
par
tofhisbody.Mycooki
ewasmaki ng
but
ter
flymovementsbutImadesurehedi
dn'
t
not
ice
Mybodywasscr eamingbutIkeptcool
andwe
conti
nuedwi
t hthedrive.AssoonasIenter
ed
bythedoor,Ifr
oze,Isawmypar ent
ssi
tti
ng
comfort
abl
yatt hedinnertabl
e

Wegr eet
edeachotherandsatdownt
oeat
.
Fat
herkeptlooki
ngatmeupanddownbutI
i
gnoredhim

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iexcusedmy
sel
ffr
om t
het
abl
eandanswer
ed
t
hephonet
hatwasr
ingi
ngsi
l
ent
ly

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her
:"
I'
vethoughtaboutwhaty
ousai
d,gi
veme
t
hedetai
l
s"
Me:"Isobadl
ywanttohaveachi l
dwit
hNi coso
It
houghtthati
fIpret
endthatIam pr
egnant, I
mighthaveashotatglui
ngmyf amil
ytogether
"
Her
:"
Ithi
nkIunder
stand.I
'
min"
Me:"
li
sten,
youwi ll
befarawayunti
lyougi
ve
bi
rt
hthenI'l
ltakethebabyasmine.I
twil
lbe
wort
hitIswear "
Her:
"soyou'
ll
pret
endt
obepregnantt
henwi
l
l
f
alselygi
vebir
tht
hedayIdo?
"
Me:
"yes"
Her
:"
okayI
'
minbuti
t'
sgoi
ngt
ocosty
ou"
Me:
"anypr
ice"
Her
:"
tenmi
l
li
on"
Me:
"ar
eyoucr
azy
?"
Her
:"
it'
smebei
ngpr
egnantf
orni
newhol
e
months"
Me:
"okayt
hen"
Her
:"
deal
"

Ihunguprel
iv
edt
hensighedatt
het
houghtof
ther
iskymov
eIam aboutt
otake

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I'
m di
sappoi
ntedatthepeopl ewhohardl
y
commentbutarequi ckt
or untomyinboxand
complai
naboutthe"croptops"Iwri
te.I'
m
human,Itr
yandI'm notperfect
Y'
al
lremembert
hat
!
 I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t10

Khensane

Iwokeupv eryearl
yandt ookmybagsbefor
e
anyonecouldseeme.Iwasn' tgoi
ngtobe
humili
atedbymyf atherbecausei
fhedi
d,one
ofuswoul dbesleepingatacellt
oni
ght

°
°
°

Ni
co
Iwaitedunti
lshefi
nishedpr
ayingthenfaced
her.Usuall
yIdon'
tl
istentoherwhenshepr ays
butthisti
meIheardheraskingforfor
giveness
manyt imes

Me:
"what
'swr
ong?
"
Her
:"
huh?
"
Me:"
youkeptt
ossi
ngandt
urni
ngt
hewhol
e
ni
ght"
Her
:"
Ithi
nki
twasabaddr
eam"
Me:
"yourf
athert
alkedt
omel
astni
ght
"
Hi
m:"
about
?"
Me:
"wel
lheaskedwhywehav
en'
tst
art
eda
f
amil
y"
Her
:"
speaki
ngoff
ami
l
y..
.Iam pr
egnant
"
Me:
"what
?"
Her
:"
18weekspr
egnant
"

Ist
aredatheri
ndisbel
i
efandopenedmy
mouthtospeakbutnothi
ngcameout

Her
:"
saysomet
hing"
Me:
"I
'm get
ti
ngl
atef
orwor
k"
Her
:"
oh?
"
Me:
"yeah"

Igotoutofbedandshower
ed

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Iwi l
lnev
erf or
getthelookathisfacewhenI
toldhim aboutthe(
fake)pr
egnancy.Heeven
l
ef tanhourearli
erforworkjustt
ogetaway
from me

Myfat
heraskedtotal
ktomei
nmyof fi
ce.Igot
i
nandfoundhim seat
edonmychai
r.Isaton
t
hedeskandlookedatmywat
ch

Me:"l
et'
smakei
tsnappyIhav
etobeatt
he
hospi
tali
n2hour
s"
Him:"
youranawayf
rom t
heconv
ersat
ion
yest
erday
"
Me:
"youputmeont
hespot
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
rynunu"
Me:
"buti
nfact
,Iam pr
egnant
"
Him:
"youdon'
tl
ookpr
egnantandwhysayt
his
now"
Me:"l
ookfather
,I'
m alwaysunderalotofstr
ess
andIam verybusy.Ididn'
ttel
lyouyest
erday
becauseItookthetestthi
smor ni
ng"
Hi
m:"
Isee"
Me:"
soIcoul
dn'
trui
nitandt
ell
youwhi
l
stI
wasn'
tsur
e"
Hi
m:"
Iunder
stand"
Me:
"sol
etmegobef
oreIgetl
ate"
Him:"
comest
rai
ghthomesowecant
alkabout
yourt
win"
Me:"pl
easedon'
tbehar
donherunt
ilIcome
back"
Hi
m:"
wheny
oucomeback"
Ismi
l
edandwentt
owor
k

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iunl
ockedmyapar
tmentandal
mostscr
eamed
becauset
her
ewerepeopl
einsi
de

Me:
"youguy
sgav
emeaf
ri
ght
"
J:
"well
youhav
en'
tbeent
aki
ngmycal
l
ssoI
wait
edfory
ou"
Me:
"nowi
snotagoodt
ime"

Hel
ookedatmefr
om acr
osstheroom.Hewas
wat
chi
ngTVwit
hmyy oungersi
sterKemi
set
so

Her
:"
hav
eyoubeencr
ying?
"
Me:
"No!
"
J:
"youdon'
tl
ookokaychoma"
Me:
"Isai
dI'
mfi
ne"

Isnappedandt
heywer
ebot
htakenaback

J:"
I'
mtry
ingtohel
pandIgetmyheadbi
tt
en,
I
restmycase"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Imumbl edwalki
ngovert
ot hef
ri
dgeandtaki
ng
outsomey oghur
tthensi
tt
ingonthecouchnext
tothem

Her
:"
what
'
swr
ongsi
s?"
Me:"
nothi
ngi
t'
sjustt
hatI'
m wor
kingona
di
ff
icul
tpi
eceatthegal
l
ery"
J:
"I
'l
lpr
etendasi
fIbel
i
evey
ou"
Me:
"r
eal
l
yJ"
Her
:"
didy
ougot
othedoct
ory
est
erday
?"
Me:
"whatdoct
or?
"
Her:
"yousai
dyouwer
egoingtot
hedoctor
becauseoft
hewayyou'
vebeenl
atel
y"
Me:
"ohandIdi
d.Hegav
emesomemedsandI
f
eelfi
ne"
J:
"youdon'
tl
ookf
ine"
Me:
"I
'm notgoi
ngt
oar
guewi
thy
ou"
J:
"l
et'
scal
lCancer
"
Me:"no!
act
ual
l
yJy oushoul
dgohomebecause
I
'm headi
ngst
rai
ghttobed"

Theywer elooki
ngatmelikeIam amaniacbut
Ididn'
tcare.Ineededt
hespace.Igotupand
openedthedoorf orhi
m,hegotupslowlyand
thenblewaki sstoKemmyt henl
eft

Me:
"donotdi
stur
b"

Iaddr
essedt
oKemmy

°
°
°
°
Khensane

Iunlockedthedoorsl
owlyandfoundhim att
he
ki
tchen,sippi
ngattheHei
nekenbottl
ehewas
holding

Me:
"sur
pri
se!
"
Hi
m:"
ennou?
"
Me:
"I
'm homeMxo"

Hechuckl
edandsatont hecouch.Het
urnedon
t
heTVandwat chedsoccer
Idr
aggedmybagsi
n

Hi
m:"
thoughty
oul
eftwi
thonebag"
Me:
"Idi
dbutIgott
hepr
ivi
l
egeofshoppi
ngwi
th
abl
ackcar
d"

Iconti
nueddraggingt
hebagsinsi
de.Nextthi
ng
Ifel
tsomet hi
ngcoldl
andatt
hebackofmy
headwhi chcausedmetodoubleupandland
onthefloor

Him:
"whycan'
tyoul
i
stent
osi
mpl
einst
ruct
ions
huh?
"
Me:
"whatdi
dyouIdo?
"

Hegrabbedmebymyweav
eandmademe
st
and.Hetwi
stedmyar
m

Him:
"Imakey
ouastar,Igi
veyouf
ameandy
ou
paymebackbyr
efusi
ngt ol
ist
ent
ome"
Me:
"Mx
oli
siy
ouar
ehur
ti
ngme"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
en'
tev
enbegan"

Hepushedandki
ckedmet
il
lIbl
ackedout

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t11

Khensane

Iopenedmyey estoashar
ppainonmychest.I
wasstil
lonthefl
ooranddropsofbloodmade
tr
ail
sfrom whenIwasbangedaroundther
oom.
Ist
ruggledt
ogetup,Mxowasn'tanywher
enear
soIgrabbedtheoppor
tuni
tytopackaminybag
andli
mpedmywayt othedoor

If
rozeuponopeni
ngt
hedoorbecause
ther
ehewasl
eani
ngagai
nstt
hedoorhav
inga
smoke

Hi
m:"
goi
ngsomewher
eCancer
?"
Me:
"uhm"
Him:
"yousti
ll
havet
heaudaci
tyt
orun?
heeh
you'
reachancer
"
Me:
"sor
ry"

It
urnedbackbuthecaughtmeandhe
st
rangl
edmemaki ngmest andonmyt
oes
Hi
m:"
sorr
ywon'
tcuti
tbutIhav
ejustt
het
hing
i
nmind"

Heputhishandinmyski
rtandgr
abbedmy
bum whi
leli
cki
ngmyear.Iwaswear
ingaJean
ski
rtwi
thashir
twhichhetor
eat

I
ttookafewsecondsformymi
ndt
oregi
ster
whathewasabouttodo

Me:
"nopl
easest
op"
Hi
m:"
makeme"
Me:
"Iam beggi
ngy
oudon'
tdot
his"

Hedidn'
tl
ist
en,i
nst
eadhecar
ri
edmet
othe
bedr
oom aft
erl
ocki
ngt
hedoor
°
°
°
°

Bonang

It
ri
edcal
l
inghi
m butt
onoav
ail
.
Hehadbl
ockedmeonallt
hesocialmedi
a
pl
atf
ormsandputmycal
l
sonrejectli
st.

Iwantedtowrit
e'menaretr
ash!
they
'l
lusey
ou
thendisposey
ou'butIdi
dn'
t.

Iputonmygownandmademybedt henI
pi
ckedupthet i
ssuesthatIhadusedthewhol
e
ni
ghtforcr
yingIdecidedtochangethewet
pi
l
lowcases.

It
ookadeepbr
eat
h..
.
'
ComeonBonnieyouarestr
ong, y
ouareQueen
Bremember?Youdon'
tgetbrokeneasi
l
y.You
gott
his'
sai
dthesamevoiceinme

Kemi
set
soopenedmybedroom doorandsat
onmybedwhil
eIwasst
il
lclear
ingup

Me:"
youdon'
tjustbur
geint
osomeoneel
se'
s
bedr
oom wit
houtknocki
ng!
whati
fIwasget
ti
ng
l
aid"
Her
:"
thenI
'
djoi
nin"
Me:
"got
ohel
l
"
Her
:"
Jisher
e"
Me:
"t
hisear
ly.Why
?"
Her
:"
Idon'
tknowbuthel
ookst
roubl
ed"
Me:
"ar
ght
ell
himI
'
llbewi
thhi
min5"
Her
:"
okay
"

Shemadeasi
ftogooutbutst
oppedand
tur
ned

Me:
"i
sJesuscomi
ngback?
"
Her
:"
huh?
"
Me:
"Imeany
oumustbewai
ti
ngf
orhi
mri
ght
t
her
e"
Her
:"
noIj
ustwant
edt
oask"
Me:
"okay
"
Her
:"
arey
ouOK?
"
Me:
"whyshoul
dn'
tIbe?
"
Her
:"
uhm y
est
erdayIhear
dyou.
..sobbi
ng"
Me:
"I
'mf
ine"

Ismil
edforr
eassurancebutshedi
dn'tbuyi
t.
Sheshookherheadandclosedthedoorbehi
nd
her

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

'
Hiit
'syourgi
rlCancer
.Ican'
ttakeyourcal
l
r
ightnowsoleaveamessage.Ki sses'
Me:"Khensanemt ase,I
'mr eall
yworr
iedabout
you.Ilef
tadozenmessagesbutst il
lyouare
notreply
ing.Ijustwanttoknowi fy
ouar esaf
e
becausey ouleftwit
houttell
ingme.Callme
back"

Isi
ghedandputmyphoneinmyhandbag.I
fi
nishedt
hepaper
workIwasdoi
ngandwas
abouttoleav
ewhenasecur
it
yguar
dknocked
atmyof f
ice

Me:
"ahbab'
Ndl
ovu"
Him:"
morni
ngDoctorMbat
ha,DoctorShezi
saysyoumustmeetatt
hestor
eroom"
Me:
"okaybabangi
yabonga(
thanky
ou"

If
ini
shedever
ythi
ngandmyphoner
ang.I
twas
myfather
Me:
"papa"
Hi
m:"
youdi
dn'
tcomehomey
est
erdaywhy
?"
Me:"
ther
ewasal
ottodosoitwasdoubl
eshi
ft
butI
'
m onmywayjustnow"
Hi
m:"howcanyoul
eav
eyourhusbandsl
eepi
ng
al
oneall
night
?"
Me:
"wet
alkedont
hephoneal
ldayf
ather
"

Il
i
ed,hej
ustcal
l
edt
ell
i
ngmet
hatkhensane
wasgone

Hi
m:"
thi
siswr
ong.Comehomenow"
Me:
"okayf
atherI
'
m onmyway
"

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Igav
ehi
m wat
ermi
xedwi
thsugart
hensatnext
tohi
m

Me:
"dr
inkup!
stopcr
ying!
andt
ell
mewhat
'
s
wr
ong"
Hi
m:"
webr
okeup"
Me:
"wi
thTy
son?
"
Hi
m:"
yeschomahewascheat
ing"
Me:
"youdeser
vebet
tert
hanTy
sonmgani
"
Hi
m:"
butIl
ovehi
m"
Me:"okayokay,
fir
stof
,thatguywasn'
teven
yourtypeandyouknewhewasapl ay
erbutst
il
l
all
owedy our
selft
olovehim.Iwar
nedy ouJay
!"

Theregoesmystrai
ghttal
kingsel
f.Iwastir
ed
ofJalwayscr
yingoverguysIwarnedhim about
.Inoti
cedKemmyl ooki
ngatmef rom the
ki
tchen

Me:
"what
?"
Kemmy:"
Iwouldnevercomer
unni
ngtoyou
whenIhavepr
oblems.Youar
etooharsh"
Me:"
Itel
lthetrut
honl
y.I
fIsugarquot
ethenI
'
m
notagoodf r
iend"
J:
"i
t'
sokaychomay
ouwar
nedmebef
ore"

Kemmyf i
nishedmakingbreakf
astwhil
ewesat
andt
alkedaboutTyson,i
naf ewsecondsJwas
hi
susualsel
fcracki
ngj
okesmaki
ngmef
orgetI
hadbi
ggerprobl
ems

Me:"
guysIhavetogot
othest
udi
otof
ini
sha
pi
eceI'
m worki
ngon"
J:
"canIst
ayi
n,myappoi
ntmentst
art
sat2"
Me:
"Kemmy
?"
Her
:"
Idon'
thav
ecl
asst
odaysoi
t'
sOK"
Me:
"al
ri
ghtt
henbet
huna,
I'
m goi
ngt
obat
h"
Kemmy
:"andt
hedi
shes"
Me:
"ai
sukawena"
Her
:"
it
'sni
cet
oseey
ou'
notsi
ck'
"
J:
"don'
tgetst
art
ed"

Thatmoment
,Ihel
dmymout
handr
ant
othe
bathr
oom
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Ient
eredthest
orer
oom andhepul
ledmecl
oser
.
Hekissedmewhilel
ocki
ngthedoor

Hi
m:"
yout
ooky
ourt
ime"
Me:
"Iwasst
il
lgat
her
ingmyt
hings"

Wet
alkedbet
weenki
sses
Hi
m:"
comeher
e"

Heledtoapil
eofbandagesandst
uffandlay
medown.Ourstor
eroom wasver
yuntidyy
et
cl
ean.Heundi
dthebuttonsofmydressandI
di
dn'tst
ophi
m.

Ifoundmy sel
funbucklinghisbeltandopening
forhim af
terhetossedmypant iestotheside.
Hewasaboutt oenterwhenIsuddenl yf
elt
somehow, usuall
yIgett hi
sfeel
ingwhenever
myt winisindanger.Ipushedhim off

Me:
"I
'm sor
ryMusaIcan'
t"
Hi
m:"
ahem!Iunder
standI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"myt
wini
sindanger
"
Hi
m:"
howso?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowbutIhav
etocheckher
"

Ireachedformyphoneagai
nandt
ri
edcal
l
ing
herbutitwasst
il
loff
"
DearLor
dpl
easei
nter
vene"

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwasv er
ydi
zzybutIcoul
dfeelthet
ear
s
burni
ngmycheeks.Iwasrapedandabusedby
myownboy f
riend.Hedi
dn'
tli
stenwhenIsai
d
stop.
Hel
i
ter
all
yfor
cedhi
msel
fonme
Il
ayont hebedpowerl
ess,hopel
essly
,
defeat
edanddir
ty.Fewminutesl
aterhewas
doneandgotoffme

Hi
m:"
gobat
h,y
oust
ink"

Hesaidthi
swhil
eusingacredi
tcar
dforhis
'
stuf
f't
henherol
ledajoi
nt.Iwasi
ngreatpai
n,
emoti
onalso

Me:
"whydi
dyoudot
his?
"
Hi
m:"becauseI'
mt hemansweet i
e,t
heman
whogavey oufame, Imadeyouandthi
swasa
r
eminderthatIcouldbreaky
ouany t
ime"
Me:
"youwon'
tgetaway
"
Him:
"honeyI'
my ourboyfr
iendandIcaneatyou
wheneverIwantbutifyouwanttorepor
tthen
goandseeiftheycare"Hegotup"anddon't
youdarethi
nkofrunningbecauseIwil
lki
lly
ou"

Itr
embledwithfear
.IknewMxoli
siuseddr
ugs
butInevert
houghtthey'
dgoi
ntohisheadone
day.Iwassoscared

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

#AM INEXT

Guy sI
'm sur
ey ou'
veallseenandhear dabout
thebrutal
it
yoft hi
scountry.Womenar ebeing
rapedandkill
ed Iwast ouchedandhur tby
thestoryofNene l et'
stakecareofour selv
es
bethunathecountryisrotten pleasebe
saf
e
I
FTHECROWN FI
TS

I
nser
t12

Khensane

Iwr
oteal
ett
erandputi
tinmypocket
.If
elt
empty
,mor
eliket
hewalki
ngdead

Mxoli
sicameandthr
ewi nsult
satme,he
namedmet heBwordbutIi gnor
edhim.He
fol
l
owedmet othebathroom andcont
inued
i
nsult
ingmewhichIbathed

Hethenfol
l
owedmetothekitchenwherewe
f
oughttoot
handnai
lunt
ilIst
abbedhim wi
tha
pot
atopeel
er

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwasr eall
yworr
iedaboutmytwin.,
Icoul
dfeel
thatsomet hi
ngi
swr ongandshe'
snot
answer i
ngherphone.MusadrovemetoDurban

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Iwasr eal
lyworr
iedaboutKhensane,tr
ied
call
ingheradozentimesbutherphonei soff
.
Tsakanecalledtoi
nfor
m met hatshewason
herwayt oDurbanbecauseherinst
incttol
dher
thathertwinisi
ndanger

Icouldn'tgotoDur bannowasIneededt otake

careofwor kbutifsheisn'tfoundt
henI'
llhave
togot here.Ireal
lygrewf ondofKhensaneandI
couldn'timagineanythi
nghappeni ngtothelove
ofmyl ife.Tsakanewasgr eatandal
lbutboth
notcompat i
bleandsheknows

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwasbusycooki
ngandJayhasbeenont he
phonef
orawhi l
eandhel
ookedfreakedout.
Aft
erhehunguphesatontheki
tchenstooland
si
ghed

Me:
"andt
hatl
ook?
"
Him:
"uhm Cancer.
..nohert
wincal
l
edaski
ngi
f
she'
sindanger"
Me:
"whywoul
dshesayt
hat
?"
Hi
m:"Idon'
tknowbutshe'
ssoundedver
y
wor
ri
ed.Igaveherdi
rect
ionst
owhereshe
l
i
ves"
Me:"
soonet
windi
dn'
tknowwher
etheot
her
l
iv
ed?"
Him:"
andfunnyenoughi
twasthef
ir
stti
me
Canceract
uall
yvi
sit
edhert
win'
shousej
ust
now"
Me:
"somethingi
sdefi
nit
elygoi
ngonandMs
Per
fectdoesn'
ttel
l
"
Hi
m:"
let
'snotgossi
paboutourf
ri
endchoma"
Me:"
thethi
ngi
s,shet
hinksshe'
sbet
tert
hanus
and..
."
Hi
m:"
hol
donasecondI
'
vegotamessage"

Hel
ookedathi
sphoneanddr
oppedhi
sjaw

Me:
"youcan'
twai
tformet
oask"
Hi
m:"
theyf
oundbl
oodatt
heapar
tmentandst
il
l
don'
tknowwher
esheorMxol
i
sii
s"
Me:
"what
!"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

I
twasal ongdr
ivefr
om Jozit
oDurbanbutwe
madei t
.Al
ongthewayIgotholdofoneofher
fr
iendsandhegavemedirect
ionst
oMxo's
pl
ace

Thedoorwasopenandi
twasamess,t
her
e
werebl
oodtr
ail
sbutnoonewast
her
e.I
pani
ckedandMusahel
dmeasIsobbedathi
s
embrace

Hi
m:"
it
'sokayI
'
vegoty
ou"
Me:
"i
t'
snotMusai
t'
snot
"
Hi
m:"
we'
l
lfi
ndhercal
m down"
Me:
"Noy
oudon'
tunder
stand"

It
ri
edf
ighti
ngandhi
tt
inghi
schestbuthehel
d
mever
ytight
ly

Hi
m:"
let
'scal
lherf
ri
endsagai
n"
Me:
"okay
"

Bef
oreIcoul
ddial
,myphoner
ang'
hubby
'was
di
spl
ayedont hescr
een
Me:
"Shandu"
Hi
m:"
howi
sitgoi
ng?
"
Me:
"r
eal
l
ybadIhav
en'
tfoundher
"
Hi
m:"
Ital
kedtoyourpar
ent
sandt
heyar
e
pr
ayi
ngforher
"
Me:
"I
'm sohur
t"
Hi
m:"
I'
veor
der
edmymant
obeont
hel
ookout
"
Me:
"I
'm evengoingtothepol
icebecausewe
f
oundbloodintheirapar
tment"
Him:
"pl
easedothat
.I'
l
lfl
yther
eassoonasI
'
m
doneher
e.Youcan'
tbealone"
Me:
"Musai
swi
thme"
Hi
m:"
Shezi
?"
Me:
"uhuh"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
HehungupbutnowIdidn'
thaveti
mef orthei
r
beef,
myhusbandandMusadon'tgetalongand
seeShanduhaswar
nedmet ostayawayf r
om
him
Mypr
ior
it
ywasf
indi
ngmyt
win

°
°
°
°
Khensane

Iputthenoteinsi
demypocketafterreadi
ngit
onelastti
me.Ihadconfessedtomyt winabout
thebabyshelost.Ihadaskedmyfatherfor
for
givenessandIjustwrot
ealovelymessage
f
ormymot
herandf
ri
ends

Icouldn'ttakei
tanymor e,Iwasemot ionall
y
hurt.Theguyl i
ter
all
ybrokemyspi r
itandr i
pped
meof fmypr i
de.YesIwasn' tavir
ginbutI
wasn'tsupposedt obest r
ippedoffmydi gni
t y.I
stoodatt hetopandwat chedt hecarspassi ng.
Myl if
eendsher e.Icannotli
v ewit
hmy self

Itookonel
astlookthenjumped,If
eltt
hat
adrenal
i
nerush.If
eltevery
thi
ng

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWN FI
TS

I
nser
t13
Bonang

Icheckedt
hetime...2:
17,goshwhocoul
d
possibl
ybeknocki
ngthi
stime!Iputonmy
gownandangril
ywenttothedoor

Me:
"Mx
oli
si!
"
Hi
m:"
shh"
Me:
"whatar
e..
."
Hi
m:"
youar
etheonl
yper
sonwhocanhel
pme"

Heslidpastmeweakl yandlandedont
he
couch.Iclosedt
hedoorandscannedhim,he
washoldinghisstomach.Ir
aisedmyeyebr
ows
athim

Hi
m:"
thebi
tchst
abbedmewi
thapot
atopeel
er"
Me:
"why
?"
Him:
"Idon'
tknowshejustwentr
ougeandcr
azy
.
KeepmeherepleaseBonni
e"

Ididn'
twantt
obuthel ookedatmewi
tht
hose
eyesandIcouldn'
tsayno

Istart
edbycleani
ngupthewoundwhi chwas
reall
ybadbecauseitwasn'
tatt
endedto
i
mmedi at
elyt
hengavehim pai
nki
ll
ers.

Hewasv er
yweakandl
ookedl
i
kehecoul
ddi
e
anysecond

Me:
"Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
eveshedi
dthi
s"
Hi
m:"
shewasst
art
ingt
oloosehermar
bles"
Me:
"youshoul
dhav
egonet
othehospi
tal
"
Hi
m:"
not
hey
'dar
resther
"
Me:
"yesbecauset
hat
'swhatoughtt
ohappen"
Hi
m:"
noIcan'
tl
oosesomeonel
i
keCancer
"
Me:
"youj
ustsai
d..
."
Hi
m:"
andshe'
salsomygi
rl
fr
iendbesi
dest
he
f
actt
hatshe'
sastar
"
Me:
"buty
ouj
ustsai
d..
."
Hi
m:"
ify
oudon'
thav
eany
thi
ngt
osayzi
pit
"

Hecl
i
ckedhi
stongue

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Ihadgonehomet ofet
chmypasswor dsoI
couldr
ushtoDurbanwhenIfoundmyi nl
aws
gluedt
otheTV.MrMal ul
ekabeckonedme
withhi
sheadtocomeandsee

Hi
m:"
lookson"

'
25y earol
dFamoussi ngerandmodel ,
KhensaneMal ul
ekaalsoknownasCancerhas
j
umpedof fa4st oreybuildi
nginDurbanas
suici
deattemptbutmi racul
ouslyshedi
dn'tdi
e.
Shewast akentothehospi tal
andwest i
l
ldon't
knowhercondi t
ionasy et.Nooneknowswhy
thebeauti
fulTsongaladywant edtocommi t
suici
de..
.'
Iswit
chedofftheTVasmyheartsank.Il
ooked
atthetwoparent
shel
plessl
yinf
rontofme

Me:
"uhm .
.Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay
"
Mom:"
let
'
spr
ayRi
char
d,l
et'
sgetonourknees
andpr
ay"
Hi
m:"
Iknewt
hatt
hatchi
l
dispossessed!
"
Me:
"t
hisi
sdef
ini
tel
ynott
het
imef
ort
hat
"
Mom:
"exact
lyson"
Me:
"l
etmeorgani
semypri
vat
ejett
henbecause
wecan'
tbookapl
anenowandgetther
ein
t
ime"

Imadeafewcall
sbutIstil
lcan'
tbel
i
evehow
Ri
char
dwant st
olabelKhensaneasthebadguy
eveni
fshe'
scri
ti
cal.
Thi
sfat
herhassomethi
ngtot
ell
butI
'
llat
tend
toi
tassoonasKhensanei
sfi
ne

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwaspacingupanddown.Shehasbeenin
ther
eforhour
sandnooneissayingany
thi
ng.
Musacouldn'
tst
aysoIwasalone

Idon'
tknowwhymysi st
ert
r i
edtocommonand
wasworriedbecauseshedidn'
tsayany
thing
whenshel ef
t.Icoul
dhavedonesomething.I
shoul
dhaveprot
ect
edherbutIwast
oo
wrappedupi
nmywor k

Thedoct
orcameandIr
ushedt
oher

Me:
"dochow'
sshe?
"
Her:
"Iwon'tl
ieshe'
sv erybad.Luckil
yherskull
di
dn'tcrashbutshe'sverycri
ti
cal.Shehur
ther
spi
net houghandI'
m af r
aidthati
t'smorebad
newsf orher
.Sheisv er
yluckytohav esur
vived
becausenormallytheskullwouldbeopen."
Me:
"doy
out
hinkshe'
l
lsur
viv
e?"
Her
:"
Idon'
twantt
orai
sehopebarmi
ss"
Me:
"soshecoul
ddi
e?"
Her
:"
let
'sgot
omyof
fi
ce"

Shel
ookedsoser
iousandIf
oll
owedheri
nto
herof
fi
ceandwesatdown

Her
:"
fi
rstofal
l
,I'
m doct
orDubazana"
Me:
"I
'm doct
orMbat
ha"
Her
:"
thoughtyoul
ookedf
ami
l
iar
.Any
wayni
ce
t
omeety ou"
Me:
"l
ikewi
se"
Her
:"whatr
elat
ionshi
pdoy
ouhav
ewi
tht
he
pat
ient
?"
Me:
"she'
smyt
winsi
ster
"
Her
:"
soIcant
ell
you.
..uhm t
hepat
ientwas
r
aped"
Me:
"what
?"
Her
:"
therewer
esignsoff
orcedpenetr
ati
onso
wedidarapeki
tonherandthepoli
cehaveto
bei
nformed"
Me:
"I
'm notsur
eIunder
stand"
Her:
"Iknowi
t'
sv er
ydi
ffi
cul
tbutsurelyyou
underst
andbecausey
ouwor kwit
ht hese
thi
ngs."
Me:
"r
ape?
"

Igotupandcri
ed.Whocoul
dhaver aped
her?
wherewasherboyf
ri
end?who'sblooddi
d
weseeintheapart
ment
?whatactuall
y
tr
anspi
red?
Mydoctorsel
fdisappearedasIbr
okedown.My
hear
twaslit
eral
l
ybl eedi
ng

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Wear r
ivedatthehospitaltoseeadozen
j
ournali
stscrowded,lookingforanswers.They
sawusandt r
iedbombar dinguswithquestions
butIkeptastraightf
aceandpul ledthe"no
comment "l
ine

Thepoli
cewer
ealsoi
nsi
det
alki
ngtoTsakane.
Assoonasshesawussher
anstrai
ghti
ntoher
fat
her
'sebr
ace

Her
:"
papa"
Me:
"how'
sshe?
"
Her
:"
cri
ti
cal
butst
abl
e.Theywon'
tl
etmehel
p"
Me:
"l
eav
eitt
othem she'
l
lbef
ine"
Mom:
"canIseeher
?"
Her
:"
noshe'
snoti
naposi
ti
ont
ohav
evi
sit
ors
mama"

Theywentt
osi
tdownandIst
ayedbehi
ndwi
th
Tsakane

Me:"
Tsakane,
youl
ookexhaust
ed.I
'
vebookeda
sui
tesoyoucangother
eandhavesomerest
"
Her
:"
noI
'
mfi
ne"
Me:
"wher
e'sy
ourboy
fri
end?
"
Her:
"r
eal
lyNicol
as?mysist
erisi
nther
efi
ghti
ng
f
orherli
feandally
oucant hi
nkofi
syourbeef
wit
hMusaar ghyouannoymesomet i
mes"

Shewal
kedt
oherpar
ent
s

Me:
"I
'm sor
rybutI
'
m al
sowor
ri
ed"
Her
:"
what
ever
"

It
ookoutmyphoneandheanswer
ed

Me:
"spi
derwhatdoy
ouhav
eforme?
"
Hi
m:"wef
oundhi
m andwear
etaki
nghi
mtot
he
t
unnel
"
Me:
"OKbutdon'
thur
thi
m"

Isentatextt
oVi
ncentandthankedhi
mforhi
s
guys.Hecall
edi
mmediatel
y

Me:
"Ij
ustwanthi
mt ogetamessageonl
ydon'
t
l
ety
ourguyshurthi
m"
Hi
m:"
that
'snotpossi
bleNi
ks"
Me:"
I'
m notabadguyVi
nny,Ij
ustwant
edto
knowifhe'
sbehi
ndherat
temptedsui
cidet
hat
'
s
al
l
"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
tel
lthem notgetr
oughonhi
mthen"
Me:"y
ouknowI
'
m nott
het
ypewhohur
ts
people"
Him:"
year
syeahy
ouar
ever
ysai
ntandi
nnocent
Iknow"

Hehungup.Iam conv
incedt
hatthisboyf
ri
end
didsomet
hingt
hatpushedKhensanetothe
edgeandI'
ll
makesurehedoesn'twalkar
ound
scoutf
ree

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWN FI
TS

I
nser
t14
Bonang

HewasgonewhenIwokeup,hedi
dn'tev
ensay
goodby
e.Mxol
i
sii
saveryweir
dpersonandi
t
washardt
okeepupwi
thhim

Iwenttotheki
tchenandfoundKemiset
so
fr
yingeggsandsingi
ngLevelupbyCiar
a
twerki
ngli
kecrazy

Her
:"
heysi
s"
Me:
"hi
,youar
erat
hercheer
ful
thi
smor
ning"
Her
:"
I'
m nott
ell
i
ng"
Shekeptsway
ingandhummi
ng
Me:
"hav
eyouseent
henewspaper
?"
Her
:"
Ihav
en'
tpi
ckedi
tupy
et"
Me:
"l
etmegeti
t"
Iwentout si
det
ogetthenewspaperwhi
chi
s
deli
veredonourdoor
step.If
rozei
nshockt
hen
raninside

Kemmy
:"y
oul
ookl
i
key
ou'
veseenaghost
"
Me:
"youwon'
tbel
i
evei
t"
Her
:"
don'
tkeepmei
nsuspense"
Me:
"appar
ent
lyKhensanet
ri
ptocommi
tsui
cide
byj
umpingof
fabuildi
ng"
Her
:"
noway
"
Me:
"butwhy
?"
Her
:"
it
'snotpossi
ble"

Justt
hen,Jaycameinhol
dingt
hepaper,
his
facel
ookedwhitewi
thshock
Him:"
someonet
oldmei
twasont
henews
yest
erday
"
Me:"
Ican'
tbel
i
evet
hatourf
ri
enddi
dsomet
hing
l
iket
hat"
Kemmy
:"i
t'
snotpossi
ble,
Cancerwoul
dnev
er"
J:
"youthi
nksomet
hingwentdownather
si
ster
'shouse?
"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowbutMxol
isiwasher
esay i
ng
Cancerst
abbedherwi
thapotat
opeeler
"
Kemmy
:"t
hat
'sst
range"

Isuddenl
yfel
tnauseousandr
ant
othe
bathr
oom tot
hrowup

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Igotacal
lfr
om Musa

Hi
m:"
hey
,Ical
l
edf
oranupdat
e"
Me:
"t
heyhav
en'
tsai
dany
thi
ngy
et"
Hi
m:"
howy
ouhol
dingup?
"
Me:
"I
'm hangi
ngi
nther
eMusa"
Him:"
I'
m sorr
yI'
m nott
her
eforyoubutItal
ked
tomyf at
hertogi
veyouafewdaysoffandhe
sai
dy oucoul
dtakeasmanydaysasyoul i
ke"
Me:
"t
hanksboo"
Hi
m:"
you'
l
lbef
inej
ustpr
ay"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lthanks"
Hi
m:"l
etmecal
lyoul
atersoy
oucanbr
iefme
onhowshe'
sdoi
ng"
Me:
"OKnopr
obl
em"
Hi
m:"
bye"
Me:
"by
e"
Hi
m:"
hangup"
Me:
"noy
ouhangupf
ir
st"
Hi
m:"
youdoi
t"
Me:
"OKl
emme"

Igi
ggl
edabitt
henhungup.Musacancheerup
any
oneany
time

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Khensanewassti
l
lcri
ti
calbutImanagedtoget
herparent
stowai
tatthesuit
e.Tsakanewas
theonewaiti
ngwi
thme

Shewasn'tspeaki
ngtomeev ennowandwas
onthephonewi t
hMusa.Shedidn'
tev
entr
yto
hi
deit.It
urnedtoherassoonasshewasdone

Shesatafewinchesfrom meandputont
hat
'
seri
ousdoct
or'sface'

Me:
"woul
dyoul
i
kesomet
hingt
oeatordr
ink?
"
Her
:"
no"
Hi
m:"
what
'shercondi
ti
on"
Her:
"shemi
ghtbepar
aly
sed,
suf
ferf
rom br
ain
damageand..
."
Me:
"and?
"
Her
:"
thi
sisv
erysensi
ti
ve"
Me:
"pl
easet
ell
me"

Shetookadeepbr
eat
handHel
dmyhands.Her
eyeswereshi
nni
ng

Her
:"
shewasr
aped"
Me:
"r
aped?
bywho?
"
Her
:"
Idon'
tknow"
Me:"wherewasherboy
fri
endwhent
his
happened?"
Her:
"Ir
eal
l
ydon'tknowShandu,
may be
someonebrokei
nandrapedherIdon'
tknow!
"
Me:
"whatdi
dthepol
i
cesay
?"
:
"t
heysaidt
hey'
dinvesti
gat
ewhatr
eal
l
y
t
ranspi
redi
nthatapart
ment"

Ibecameliv
id,whodarest
orapemywoman?
!
Thiscan'
tbehappeni
ng

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Aft
erthrowingupinthemorning,Ideci
dednot
tofacethosetwo.Ikeptmyselfbusywit
hwork
butIcouldn'
tconcent
rate
Idi
dmyhy gi
enepr ocess,
loti
onedandwor ered
Kappatr
acksuits.Icaughtthem t
alki
ngabout
meandt heystoppedt heminutetheynot
iced
mypresence

Iwentt
ost
andi
nfr
ontoft
hem andf
oldedmy
ar
ms

Me:
"cont
inue"
Kemmy
:"nosi
swewer
ejust.
..
"
Me:
"j
ustwhat
?Poki
ngy
ournosewher
eithas
nobusi
nesst
obe?"
J:
"j
ustconcer
nedabouty
ou"
Kemmy
:"si
t"

Shepatt
hespacebet
weent
het
woandIsat
andJst r
okedmycheekwhileKemmy
squeezedmyhandreassur
ingl
y

Her
:"
arey
oupr
egnant
?"
Me:
"yesIam"
J:
"whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
us?
"
Me:
"Iwasembar
rassedIguess"
Kemmy
:"why
?"
Me:
"i
t'
stoocompl
i
cat
ed"
:"
"
Kemmy
:"i
sity
ourexe'
s"
Me:
"no"
J:
"who'
s?"
Me:
"Mx
oli
si"
J:
"who'
sthat
?"
Me:
"Mx
oli
siVi
l
akazi
"
Ther
ewassomeawkwar
dsi
l
ence

Me:
"Iknewy
ou'
djudgemear
gh"

Igotup

J:
"i
t'
snott
hatI
'
mjudgi
ng.I
'
mtooshocked"
Kemmy:
"especi
all
ybecauseweknowy
ouknow
Mxol
i
siandCanceraretoget
her
"
Me:
"Iknowguy
sit
'sj
ustt
hat.
..
"
Kemmy :"
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
ouev
enwantt
ojust
if
y
thatshi
t"
Me:
"Ican'
tbel
i
eveyousi
tt
ingt
her
ejudgi
ngme
asi
fyouareholi
ert
hant
hou"

Sheal
sost
oodupandf
acedme
Her:"
Imaynotbehol i
erthanthoubutatl
eastI
knowbet tert
hantocl
awmyhandsonmy
fr
iend'
sman, evenworsesleepwit
hhim and
givehim achil
d"

Isl
appedherandJst
oodup

J:
"Bonang!Kemi
set
so!
"
Me:
"youdon'
ttal
ktomel
i
ket
hatmi
ssy
"
Her:
"andyoudon'tbackst
abfri
ends..
.lucky
youarepregnantel
seI'dhav
ekickedy
ourhoe
assblackandbluebit
ch"

Shecli
ckedhert
ongueandItr
iedhi
tt
ingher
agai
nbutJstoppedmewhileShewentoutand
sl
ammedt hedoorhar
d
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Weev entual
lyl
eftthehospi
talbecauset
herude
headofthehospitaltol
dusthatwecan'thang
aroundthereasifwearehomel ess

Atthesuit
emymom anddadwer eonthei
r
kneesprayi
nghar
d.ShanduandIj
oinedt
hem

Aft
erprayer
,weor der
edroom ser
vicebutno
onecouldeat.Shandukeptbusywithhi
sphone
whi
chIsatwi
thmypar
ent
s

Me:
"Godhashear
dourpr
ayer
sandKhensane
wi
ll
wakeup"
Mom:
"amenmychi
l
d"
Father
:"weneverr
eall
ygotal
ongbutherbei
ng
atdeath'sdoormademereal
iset
hatIloveher
somuch"
Me:
"l
olpapaInev
ert
houghtI
'
dheary
ousay
t
hosewords"
Hi
m:"
butIdol
oveher
"
Mom:"I
'
m gladt
oheart
hatandIt
hinkthatas
soonasshewakesup,
youshoul
dtell
her"
Me:
"Iagr
eeonehundr
edper
cent
"

Iwashappyt
hatmyfatheract
uall
yadmit
tedt
o
l
ovi
ngKhensane,
Ican'
twaittotel
lher
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Hav
eabl
essedSunday
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t15

9weeksl
ater

Tsakane

AssoonasshegotoutofI CUaft
erbeing
unconsci
ousforsi
xweeks, mytwinwas
tr
ansfer
redt
ot hehospi
tal
IworkatsoIcoul
d
keepaneyeonherbutIcouldn'
ttr
eather
MxolisiVilakaziwasbehindbarsforrapeand
assault.Idon'tknowhowNi comanagedt oget
hi
mt oconf essbuthedidthreedaysaf t
ershe
hospitali
sed.Ican'tbel
ievethatherown
boyfr
iendwoul drapeandassaulther.Theguy
i
st r
ashanddeser vestobelockedforgood

Ial
soforcedtogobacktoworkandactuall
y
enj
oyedtheattenti
onIr
ecei
vedfrom Musa,he
wassuchagent lemanandwoul
dof t
ensend
chocol
atesandf l
owert
omyof f
ice.

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Tsakanewaswor ki
ng'
ext
rashif
ts'againandI
wokeupt oanemptybedyetagain.Idon'
tknow
whyshe'schangedsomuchbutit'snotli
keI
careoranyt
hing

Iwentformynor malj
ogthendeci
dedtowork
fr
om home. .
.thel
ovel
ythi
ngofbeingt
heboss.
Iworkedfrom myhomeof f
icet
hendeci
dedto
vi
sitKhensane.

Ihadaquickshowerthenst
oppedbyt
hemal
l
grabbi
ngafewthings

Ihadtobr
ibetheguardtogeti
nherwar
d
becausei
twasn'tv
isi
ti
nghouryet
Herheadwasrest
edont hepill
owandshe
l
ookedsopret
tywhil
esleeping.Ther
ewas
somethi
ngi
nherIcouldn'tgetoffme

Ibr
ushedoffherunt
idyhai
roffherfaceandr
an
myfinger
sonhercheektoherlips.She
mummer edinhersl
eepandturned

Ishookhergent lyandshefl
ungthosebig
beauti
fulbrowney esopenandsmiledrev
eli
ng
herdimples..
.see, t
heymaybet wi
nsbutthey
areverydif
ferent.Tsakanei
svol
uptuousmore
l
ikeBontleModi sell
eandKhensanewasskinny
l
ikeBonang.

Theyhadthesamebeaut i
fulf
acial
featur
esbut
Khensanewasmor ebeauti
ful
,shelookedli
ke
the12yearoldver
sionofthetwi
nswhi l
e
Tsakanetooktheseri
ousandmat ured
mot
her
lyl
ook

Her
:"
ear
tht
oyouMrMbat
ha"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tnot
icet
haty
ouwer
eawake"
Her
:"
Iam"

Shebli
nkedweakl
yandl
ookedl
i
keshest
ruggl
e
tospeak

Me:
"Icomebear
inggi
ft
s"
Her:
"t
hanksbuti
twasn'
tnecessar
yandy
ou
knowit"
Me:"
Igotyoupudding,
it'
ssof
tsoopenupwi
de
andletmefeedyou"

Shesmil
edshyl
ymakingmewannaj
umpon
thebedandki
ssher
.It
ookt
hepuddi
ngand
spoonandfedher
.Af
ter
war
dsIgav
ehera
bott
leofwater

Her
:"
arey
oual
way
sthi
sromant
ict
omysi
ster
"
Me:"wel
lshe'
sal
way
sbusysoInev
ergeta
chance"
Her
:"
youshouldtal
ktoher,
communi
cat
ioni
s
t
hekeytoafruit
ful
rel
ati
onshi
p"
Me:
"hal
alasi
sDol
l
y"
Her
:"
lol
I'
m ser
ious"
Me:
"youar
ever
ybeaut
if
ul"
Her
:"
wit
hscar
s,cr
ippl
edandal
l
?"
Me:
"yes"
Her
:"
youknowi
t'
sinappr
opr
iat
efory
out
osay
t
hattome"
Me:
"Iknowhowy
ouf
eel
aboutme"
Her
:"
I'
m gl
ady
ouknow.Iwi
l
lnev
ercr
osst
hat
l
i
ne"
Me:
"yesIknowbutIl
i
key
ouv
erymuch"
Her
:"
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dleav
e"
Me:"
Iwil
lgobutknowt
haty
ou'
vegott
hisv
ibeI
can'
tgetenoughof
"
Her
:"
OKt
hat
'senoughl
eav
e"
Me:
"OKI
'
llgo"

Istoodupandki
ssedherbutshedi
dn'
tret
urn
thekiss,
i
nst
eadshel
ookedaway

°
°
°
°
Bonang

Thefatherofmychi ldi
sbehindbarsandher eI
am 7mont hspr egnant
.Ican'
tevengov i
sit
Canceratthehospi t
albecauseIam ashamed
andembar rassedforwhatIdid

Mysist
ermov edwit
hJandourrel
ationshi
pis
i
nICU.It
'sl
ikeI'
vegotnoonetot
urntobut
l
ucki
lyIdon'
tworkheavi
lyatt
hegal
lery

Isatonthecoucheati
ngpapandmaot wana
whenmyphoner ang. .
.shi
t,i
twasonthe
ki
tchencountert
omydi smay.Idr
aggedmy
swoll
enfeetandnoti
ceditwasav er
yweir
d
number

Ipi
ckedupbutdi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng
Hi
m:"
Bonni
eit
'sme"
Me:
"Mx
oli
si?
"
Hi
m:"
yeahbabesoIneedaf
avour
"
Me:
"noMxoIcan'
t..
."
Hi
m:"
bri
ngmesomet
oil
etr
iesanda.
..
"
Me:
"Ican'
tdoi
t"
Hi
m:"
whynot
?"
Me:
"Ij
ustcan'
thel
pa.
..
"

It
ookasharpbr
eathandroll
edmyeyes.
Thi
nki
ngabouti
tjustmakesmewannathrow
up

Hi
m:"sayit
,rapi
st?Idi
dn'
trapet
hatbi
tchshe'
s
j
ustt
ryingtogetatt
enti
on"
Me:
"pl
easest
opcont
act
ingme"
Hi
m:"
you'
l
lruet
hedaywenanxn!
"

HehunguponmebutIcoul
dn'
tassoci
ate
mysel
fwit
hhi
ski
ndbuthist
hreatdi
dhithome

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwasthi
nki
ngaboutwhatNi
codi
dbutcoul
dn'
t
deci
dewhethert
otel
lmytwi
nornot
.
Thedoctorswer eamazedathowf astIheal
ed,
I
didn'
tevensufferf
rom br
aindamagebutIget
massiveheadaches.Ididhurtmyspinethough
andIheardthem sayi
ngthatImightnotbeable
towalkagain.Icoul
dn'
tfeelmylegs

IknowMxolisi
isl
ockedupbuthesti
ll
toremy
soulapar
tandIdon'
tknowhowI'
llr
ecoverf
rom
that
.

Whenmyf at
hercametovi
si
t,Iwasshocked
especi
all
ybecausehenev
ercamet ovisi
tsi
nce
Iwokeup

Hesmiledandki
ssedmyfor
eheadt
hen
cr
unchedlowforahugwhi
chcrammedme

Me:
"don'
tfor
gett
hedr
ippapa"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sohappyt
oseey
ou.Cany
out
alk?
"
Me:
"yesIcanf
orcet
alki
ng"

Iwon'
tli
e,Iwasi
ndeeppainandmyri
bswere
worsebutyeahmi
racul
ousl
yIcoul
dspeak

Him:"
mydaught er,Iwantyoutoknowt hatI
l
oveyousomuch.Ipr obablygaveyoutough
l
ovebutit
'sbecauseofl ove,I'
veneverbeen
happyofyourli
fechoicesandmay beIwant ed
youtobemor elikeTsakanebecauseshef ear
s
God"
Me:
"wow"
Him: "
butcomet othi
nkofit,I
'
m actual
lyhappy
thatyouarediff
erent.Yesyourebel
li
ousand
stuffbutIcan'
taffor
dt ol
oosey ou"
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
oloosey
out
oopapa"
Hi
m:"
promi
semet
haty
ou'
l
lcomehomeas
soonasy
ouar
eoutofher
e"
Me:
"Ipr
omi
sepapa"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyoudaught
er"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oopapa"

Hi
sey esglowedandhewi pedsomethingwith
t
hebackofhi ssl
eeve,yesthegreatal
mi ghty
Mal
leabil
i
tyshedatearortwoandt hatreall
y
t
ouchedme

Webothapologisedandpr omisedtomendour
fat
her-daught
errelat
ionship.Hereadmeafew
scr
ipt
uresandleftatpeace

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwenttoherwar
dduringv i
sit
inghour.Ihadher
l
etteri
nmypocket.Ilookedatherf oralong
ti
mebef or
eshenoti
cedmypr esence

Ismi
l
edassoonasshel
ookedmydi
rect
ion

Me:
"heyhey
"
Her
:"
hi"

Igr
abbedachai
r

Me:
"i
nst
eadofcal
l
ingy
ouCancert
heyshoul
d
act
ual
l
ycal
lyoui
nkunzi
"
Her
:"
I'
m notasst
rongasanox"
Me:
"yesy
ouar
enot
,youar
eabul
l
"
Her
:"
bul
l
fight
er?
"
Me:"nosi
l
lybutlookathowyoupul
l
edt
hrough
al
lthoseweeks.Youaresoont
ogohome"
Her
:"ahomeinwhi
chIdon'
thav
e,Idon'
tev
en
hav
eacar eer
"
Me:"myhousei sy
ourhomet wi
nandy ou
shouldknowthatbynow.We'll
discussthe
careerpat
hafteryourheal
i
ngprocess"
Her
:"
Ican'
twal
kwhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Me:"
youcan'twal
kyetbuty
ou'
l
lsoonst
artwi
th
phy
siot
herapy"
Her
:"
myl
i
fei
sov
ersi
sO-
V-E-
R!"
Me:"
wedon'
ttal
kli
ket
hat
.Wher
eisy
ourf
ait
hin
God?"
Her
:"
God?
"
Me:
"yesGod"
Her:
"t
here'
snoGod,andift
her
ewast
henhe
pr
obablyhasf
avour
ites"
Me:"
Hedoesexi
standal
lyouhav
etodoi
s
bel
i
evei
nhim"
Her:
"nope,
Ican'
tbel
i
evei
nhi
m whenhet
ook
awaymyev er
ythi
ngj
ustl
i
ket
hat"
Me:"
youjumpedof
fthebui
l
ding,
didy
ouexpect
hi
mt ocatchy
ou?"
Her:
"hemi
ghthav
ejustdi
dthat
.Theysayhe
pl
ansourl
iv
esbut..
."
Me:
"shhh,
yourBPi
sgoi
ngup"
Her
:"
arghwhat
ever
"

Shestar
edi
ntodi
stanceandItookherhandi
n
mineandki
ssedherfor
ehead
Her
:"
hey
,I'
vegoty
ouokay
"
Her
:"
Iknowt
hat
"
Me:
"uhm t
hel
ett
ery
ouwr
ote"
Her
:"
didy
our
eadi
t"
Me:
"noIdi
dn'
t
.It
hinky
oushoul
dhav
eit
"
Her
:"
itwasmeconf
essi
ng"
Me:"
what every
oudi
d,If
orgi
vey
ou
mtasekhaya"
Her
:"
wowt
henIguessIshoul
dtakei
tthen"
Me:"
youcantel
lmewhaty
ouwr
otewhenwe
bot
hinheaven"
Her
:"
wow"
Me:"
ofcour
sewe'
l
ldi
etoget
herbecausewear
e
t
winsri
ght"
Her
:"
lol
yeahwewi
l
l.Il
ovey
out
winsi
s"
Me:"andIl
ovey
oumor ebutIthi
nki
t'
sti
mef or
yourmedsandIshoul
dgo.I'
ll
comev i
sitat7"
Her
:"
okayby
e"

Il
eftherwit
hasmi le.Iwasver
ykindatheart
andduetothat,peopleal
waystookadvant
age
ofmykindness.Theyprobabl
ytaki
ngitfor
weaknesses

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

BonusI
nser
t16

Khensane

Icoul
dn'
trel
axatal
l
,somet
hingt
ell
smet
hat
Tsakanedi
dreadt helet
terIwr
otebutwhat
bother
edmei sthatshe'
sbeingal
lni
ceasif
nothi
nghappened

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Musahadbookedaspadat
eformeassoonas
Igotagap.Hecametomyoff
iceandgav
eme
thevoucher
Aft
erl
ocki
ngt
hedoor,
hesatdownand
beamed
Me:"
aahMusa,
your
eal
l
yar
eki
ndasy
ourname
say
s"
Him:"
any
t hi
ngforalovel
ylady,plusyoudo
deser
veitaft
ertheevent
st hathappenedt
he
pastf
ewweeks.Youneedt orelaxabit
"
Me:
"mayIaskwhyarey
ouspoi
l
ingmet
his
muchDoct
orShezi
?"
Him:"
wellforstar
ter
syouareav er
ybeaut
if
ul
womant houghunappreci
atedandoft
en
under
mined, Iseeyouassomeonewhoneeds
tobelov
edt hewayy oudeserv
e."
Me:
"wowOK"
Hi
m:"
I'
m ser
iousTsaki
,youar
eamazi
ng"

Hewal
kedov
ert
omychai
randhel
dmyhands

Me:
"I
'm speechl
ess"
Hi
m:"
youdon'
thav
etosayany
thi
ng"

Hesatonmyl
apandki
ssedmewi
l
dlyso

°
°
°
°

KemmyandIwer eatthehot
elinJohannesbur
g
,wewant edt
oseehowourgi r
lisdoing
becausei
twouldbeunfai
rnottovi
sitheratt
he
hospit
al
Shecamef r
om theshowerweari
ngatoweland
satonthebed.Wehadbookedoneroom
becauseweliv
etogetherandwer
eusedto
shari
ng

Her
:"
cany
oucomel
oti
onmyback"
Me:
"yeahsur
e"

Shethr
ewawaythetowelandl
aidf
latonher
chest,
exposi
ngherbackandr
oundfineasst
o
me.Iswall
owedhard

Me:
"Ican'
tdoi
t"
Her
:"
whynot
?"
Me:"Ican'
thaveyourunni
ngnakedev
eryt
ime
I
'm around.Iam amanKemmy "
Shesatupst
rai
ghtandl
ookedatmebemused

Her
:"
I'
m conf
used"
Me:"
Iwantyout
ost opfeel
i
ngthatcomfor
tabl
e
wheneverI
'
m ar
ound.Youwalkaroundnakedor
seminudeinmypresenceandi
t'
snotri
ght"
Her
:"
butIt
houghty
oudat
eguy
s"
Me:"t
obehonest,af
termylastbreakupand
youmov edinwi
thme, Iki
ndafoundyou
att
ract
ive"

Herey
eswer
er oundandshequi
ckl
ysnatched
t
hetowel
shethrewandwrappedher
sel
f

Her
:"
erI
'
m sor
ry,
Idi
dn'
tknow"
Me:"
yeahit
'swei
rdIknow...uhm l
et'
sgetgoing.
I
'l
lwaitf
oryoutofi
nishupbytherecept
ioni
st"
Her
:"
yeahy
eahsur
e"

I
twasanawkwar
dmomentf
orbot
hofus

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Tsakanei
sn'
tacti
ngli
keapregnantper
sonand
Iwasbother
ed.Iappr
oachedmyf at
heri
nlaw
befor
eheheadedhome

Hewasi
nthel
i
vingr
oom hav
inghi
steaandI
satdownt
ofacehi
m

Hi
m:"
aahson"
Me:"
yesf
atherbef
orey
ouleav
eIwantt
o
addr
esssomethi
ngwit
hyou"
Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:
"soisitnormalforapr
egnantper
sont
obe
wor
kingthishard?
"
Him:"
Iseey ouarerefer
ringtoTsakane,son,we
needt ojoi
nforcesandmakeherqui therjob.
Shemustt akecareofy ourchi
l
dandmustbei n
i
tfullheaded.Iseeit
'sevenaff
ecti
ngherwi fel
y
duti
esbecausey ouhav esomanymai ds"
Me:"
hel
per
sfather
,werefert
othem ashel
per
s
notmai
dsbutIhaveanissue"
Hi
m:"
issue?
"
Me:"
yeser..
.isi
tpossi
blef
ormet
omar
ry
Khensane?
"
Hi
m:"i
t'
sver
ypossi
blebutIdi
dn'
tknowy
ou
want
edbothtwi
ns"
Me:
"It
hinkKhensanedeserv
essomeonewho
wi
ll
loveandtakecareofher"
Him:
"youar
eri
ghtsonbutlet'
swai
tforhert
o
heal
fir
stt
henwe'
lldi
scussthi
s"
Me:"
ther
e'snot
hingt
odi
scuss.Iwannamar
ry
her
"
Hi
m:"
shewasr
apedandshe'
scr
ippl
ed"
Me:"
exact
ly!
nomancanacceptherwi
tht
hose
fl
awsandsurel
yyouwanthert
ogetmarr
ied
oneday"
Hi
m:"okayson,you'
ll
gettheot
hert
winbutonl
y
i
fTsakaneagrees.Imustgonow"
Me:
"Iwon'
tbeabl
etoseey
ouof
fbutwe'
l
lkeep
i
ntouch"

Il
eftf
orwor
k,Ihadt
oat
tendt
osomet
hingi
n
Pr
etor
ia

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Igotthesurpri
seofmylif
easJandKemisetso
camei nholdi
ngball
oonsandfl
oweral
ongwith
abigbasket.Theywereevendr
aggi
ngabig
whit
et eddybearwi
ththem

Wedi
dabi
tofcat
chi
ngupher
eandt
her
e
Me:
"aaht
hanksy
ouguy
sforcomi
ngt
ovi
sit
me"
J:
"Imeani
t'
sthel
eastwe'
l
lcoul
ddochoma"
Kemmy :
"Idon'
tthi
nkI
'
veseensomeonej
ump
offabui
ldi
ngandsurvi
veyazz"
Me:
"l
ookatme"
J:
"yeahwheni
t'
snoty
ourt
imei
t'
snothey
"
Me:
"Iguess.
..soBcoul
dn'
tmakei
tbecause?
"
Theybecameuncomf ort
abl
e,shift
ingand
dart
ingt
heireyesi
nev er
ydi
rect.Iclappedmy
handsweaklyasasignofwaiti
ngf orananswer
J:"
erchomather
e'ssomet
hingy
ouneedt
o
knowaboutB"
Me:
"I
'ml
i
steni
ng"
J:
"I
'm sosor
ryt
otel
lyout
hisbutBi
spr
egnant
wi
thMxo'sbaby"
Kemmy
:"I
'
m ev
enashamedt
ocal
lhermysi
ster
"
Idi
dn'
tknowhowtof eel
aboutitbutIknewit
wasn'
tmyworstcasescenari
obecauseI '
ve
deal
twit
hmajort
hingsinli
fe
Me:"
ithappensandwel
lthenit
'sdoneandI
can'
tdoany t
hingt
ochangeit
"
J:
"i
tmustber
eal
l
y..
."
Me:
"don'
tJpl
ease.I
'
m av
oidi
ngt
othi
nkabout
t
hattr
ashguy
"

Theyst
ayedabi
tlonger,cheer
ingmeupwi
th
j
okesandKemmygi vi
ngmeapept al
k

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Iknowit
'snotlongbuti
twast
hel
eastIcoul
d
do . .
.it
'snotedit
ed
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t17

Tsakane

IwokeupandsmiledbecauseIwasbeing
spoi
lt
,Iwasbei
ngservedbreakf
astinbedaft
er
awonderf
ulni
ghtandagoodmor ni
ngglor
y

Isatupst
rai
ghtashewal
kedi
nwi
tht
het
ray

Hi
m:"
mor
ningsunshi
ne"
Me:
"mor
ning"
Hi
m:"i
t'
sagoodt
hingwear
eonl
ygoi
ngl
atert
o
wor
k"
Me:"
yeahother
wiseIwoul
dn'
tbeablet
okeep
upaft
erlastni
ght
'sper
for
mance.Youdi
dn'
t
gi
vemeachancet
obr
eat
h"
Hi
m:"
Icoul
dn'
tgetenoughofy
ou"
Me:
"youdr
ivemecr
azy
"
Hi
m:"
isi
t?"

Hekissedmyfor
eheadandweendedupnot
eat
ingthebr
eakf
asthemade

°
°
°
°

Isl
eptont
hecouchbecauseIcoul
dseehow
uncomfort
ableKemiset
sowas.Iwokeupwi tha
sti
ffandpainf
ulbodyandfoundherlooki
ngat
me, l
ooksl
ikeshehadalreadyshowered

Me:
"hey
"
Her
:"
hi"
Me:
"yougood?
"
Her
:"
yeah"
Me:"
I'
m sor
ryforwhathappenedy
est
erday
bef
oreourvi
sitt
othehospital
"
Her
:"
it
'scool
"
Me:"IhopeitchangesnothingbecauseI
've
grownv eryfondofyou.Idon'twantt
oloose
thi
sf r
iendship"
Her
:"
not
hinghaschangedwegood"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Her
:"
I'
vecal
l
edi
nforr
oom ser
vice,
hopey
ou
hungr
y"
Me:
"Iam t
hanks.Lemmegoshower
"

Youcouldli
ter
all
ycutthetensi
onwit
haknife.I
tookaquickshowerandwhenIwasdone, t
he
foodhadarri
ved.Ikeptst
eali
nggl
ancesather

Her
:"
soy
ouar
enotgay
"
Me:
"Iam butIhappent
ofi
ndy
ouat
tract
ive"
Her
:"
tel
lmeabouti
t"
Me:"I
'
veneverfoundfemalesat
tract
ivebutwi
th
youit
sadiff
erentstor
y,Igenui
nelyf
eelli
keI
shoul
dholdyouorsomet hing"
Her:
"okayl
et'
ssee.Puty
ourhandsonmy
boobs"

Ihesi
tat
edbutshet
ookmyhandsandpl
aced
them onherr
oundboobs,If
eltmy sel
fget
ti
ng
erect
edandshenoti
ced.Sheplacedherhand
onmycockandst r
okedit

Nextthi
ngwewer eall
ov ereachother
,hungry
f
oreachot her.Iwentforherneckandallthe
waydownt oherhoneypotwhi chwasdrippi
ng
wet.Ineverhadsexwi thawomanbef orenor
muffedsomeone

Iwasn'tthety
pewhowor
edressesandweaves
butI
'vedatedmenall
myli
febutthi
sunl
eashed
somethinginme

Iinstant
lybecameamanandwor kedmy
tongueonherwhi l
eshebrushedmyhead.I
emer gesandposit
ionedmyselft
henwenti n
afterafewstruggl
esbecauseIwasn'tusedto
this
Imadeafewstrokest
henspl
ashed.Iwas
deepl
yembar
rassed

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Her
:"
it
'sokay
,thef
ir
str
oundi
sn'
tal
way
swow"
Me:
"Isee"
Her
:"
let
'st
ryagai
n"

Shekissedmeagai nandgotont opofme,I

wantedtoscream becausethiswasthe
sweetestt
hingI'
veevertast
ed.GoshI'v
ebeen
missi
ngoutonsomegoodst uff

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwasatt hegall
erywor
kingonabeauti
ful
pai
nt i
ng.Acouplehadaskedformetopainta
designforthei
rbabywhoisontheway.Imade
fi
nishtouchesandsmil
edatthebeauti
ful
art

Idon'
tknowwhyIdi
ditbutIf
oundmysel
f
taki
ngmyphoneandcal
li
ngKhensane

Iwasabouttohangupwhenshepi
ckedupwi
th
aver
ylowv oi
ce

Her
:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"hi
Canceri
t'
sBonang"
Her
:"
Iknowi
t'
syou.Whatdoy
ouwant
?"

Iwast
akenabackathercol
dness

Me:
"Ical
l
edt
ocheckupony
ou"
Her
:"
yeahr
ight
"
Me:
"wowy
ouar
esocol
dchoma"
Her
:"
choma?
youmustbef
ucki
ngki
ddi
ngme"
Me:
"yooh"
Her:"
Iseeyouplayi
ngdumb.Iknowaboutyour
pregnancyandall
theshi
tyou'
vebeendoi
ng
behindmyback"
Me:"
Idi
dn'
twantyout
ofi
ndoutthewrongway
.
Iwasscar
edathowyou'
dreact
.I..
."
Her
:"
arghsav
eit
"
ShehunguponmeandIcr i
ed.Kemi
set
so
obvi
ousl
ytol
dher.Isenthert
hemessage
cur
singherf
orherbigmouth

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwenthomeandmypar ent
shadalr
eadylef
t,
shootIhadfor
got
tenaboutt
hem.Iwentbythe
part
ioandcall
edNico

Hi
m:"
hey
"
Me:
"Shandu"
Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:
"youar
enothome"
Hi
m:"
yeahI
'
minPr
etor
ia"
Me:"
OKweneedt
otal
kassoonasy
ouget
her
e"
Hi
m:"
yesIal
sohav
esomenewsf
ory
ou"
Me:
"okayseey
ouwheny
ougetback"
Hi
m:"
bye"

Oneoft
hehel
per
scamet
omewhi
l
eIwasbusy
wit
hmyphone

Her
:"
mam y
ouhav
eaguest
"
Me:
"l
ethi
min"
Her
:"
it
'sashemam.She'
sint
hel
i
vingr
oom"
Me:
"okay
"
Iwalkedtothel
ivi
ngr
oom andf
oundNt
ombi
si
tt
ingtherewit
hherbi
gbell
y

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Her
:"
myaccounti
sver
ydr
y"
Me:
"oht
hat
.I'
vebeenv
erybusy
"
Her:
"soI
'm her
eremi
ndy
out
hatIhav
e
shoppi
ngtodo"
Me:
"youwantt
oseemebankr
upthuh?
"
Her:
"comeon,youguysswi
minmil
l
ions.A
coupleoft
housandswon'
thur
t"
Me:
"mamaRut
h!"
Rut
h:"
yesmam"
Me:
"makehersomet
hingt
oeat
"
Her
:"
yesmakemesomegoodf
ood"
Rut
hobeyedandmadehersomethi
ngtoeat
whi
leshemockedmefort
hefakebell
yIwor
e

Her
:"
stopt
hel
i
esi
t'
snotgood"
Me:"
I'
vealreadyi
nit
iat
edt
hepl
anev
ent
houghI
hav
er egr
ets"
Her
:"
youcanal
way
sdot
hingsr
ight
.It
'snev
er
t
oolate"

°
°
°
°

Khensane
I
'vebeensobusy,physi
otherapyisso
fr
ustr
ati
ngbecauseitdoesn'
twor konthefi
rst
daynorthesecond.Ist
il
lcan'twalkandIr
eall
y
l
osthope

Iwasr eal
l
yworri
edaboutt
heper
sonwhotri
ed
tokil
lme.IknowI'
vedonesomanywrong
thi
ngsbutIfear
edformyli
fe

Itr
ynottothi
nkabouttherapeandfocusmor
e
onheali
ngbutMxoli
sikeptcal
li
ngaskingf
or
for
giv
eness.

Ani
celooki
ngmancamet
omybedandr
ead
myfi
l
e

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ng?"
Hi
m:"
sor
ryf
orbei
ngr
ude,
I'
m doct
orShezi
"
Me:
"youdon'
tl
ookl
i
keadoct
or"
Him:"
I'
m offdut
ybuty
oursi
steri
nsi
stedIhave
youdischar
gedsoIwant
edtolookatyourf
il
e
f
irst
"
Me:
"t
hat
'snotev
enl
egal
"
Hi
m:"
Iknow.Youar
egoi
nghomet
oday
"
Me:
"soI
'
mreal
l
ygoi
ngt
ouseawheel
chai
r?"
Hi
m:"
itget
sbet
terwi
tht
imeandt
hisi
sthef
ir
st
st
ep"
Me:
"yeahy
eah"
Hi
m:"
youar
ever
ybeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"soI
'
vebeent
old"
Hi
m:"
onedayI
'
llt
akey
ououtf
ordi
nnerhey
"
Me:
"okay
"
Ismil
edashescr
ibbl
edsomethi
ng.Hewas
ver
yhandsomeandIli
kedhi
m.Ireal
lywant
ed
togohomesobad

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t18

Ni
co

Iwasonmywayhomeaf terdoi
ngsome
busi
nessinPretor
ia,
Ialsomadesurethatt
his
Mxoli
siwil
lbesentav er
ystrongmessage
whil
ehe'si
npr i
son

Ist
oppedbyt
hehospi
tal
topi
ckupKhensane
asTsakanehasaskedandfoundherlaughi
ng
wit
hMusa.Shewasonawheel chai
randthe
guykeptcr
acki
ngjokesforher

Me:
"hi
,uhm l
et'
sgoKhensaneI
'
llwheel
youout
"
Her
:"
heysbar
i,t
hisi
sMusa.
..
"
Hi
m:"
doct
orMusaShezi
youmean"
Her
:"
ohdoct
orShezi
"

Shegiggl
edandhet
urnedhi
snoseupi
n
arr
ogance

Me:
"Iknowwhohei
s!"

Irepli
edcol
dlyandwheel
edherout.He
foll
owedusandconti
nuedchatt
ingwit
h
Khensane
Hi
m:"
soIwal
ktot
hispl
aceandt
her
e's.
..
"
Me:
"yeahy
eahdocwe'
l
lbef
inet
hanky
ougeez"

Iwasl
oosi
ngmypat
ience

Hi
m:"
heywhat
'sy
ourpr
obl
em?
"
Her
:"
haosbar
i,noneedt
ober
ude"
Me:
"I
'v
egotbusinessestorunanddon'
thav
e
t
imetoli
stent
osill
yjokes"
Him:"
Itakenoof
fenceatt
hatbutanyway
Khensane,y
ougotmynumberright
?"
Her
:"
yeahwi
l
ldef
ini
tel
ycal
lyou"

Irol
l
edmyey es,Iknowthathewasj ustt
ryi
ng
topissmeoff.IputKhensaneint
hecar ,
fol
ded
herwheel
chairanddrovetothehouseIgother
Al
lal
ongshewasquietbutassoonasshesaw
meparki
ngatt
hathouseshespoke

Her
:"
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
"
Me:
"Iboughty
ouahouse"
Her
:"
whyonear
thwoul
dyoubuymeahouse?
"
Me:
"Iwant
edt
o,pl
usi
t'
swheel
chai
rfr
iendl
y"

Shet
ookashar
pbr
eat
h

Her
:"
NicoIdon'
tgetal
lyourbr
ibi
ngandst
uff
"
Me:"I
'
m notbr
ibi
nganyone.Ijustf
eelli
keyou
deserv
esomethi
ngbestsuitedforyou.Andi
f
youmustknow,twi
nagreed"
Her
:"
shedi
d?"
Me:
"ofcour
seshedi
d"

Ihel
pedheroutoft
hecarontoherwheel
chai
r.
Iwheel
edherinwherewefoundourt
woguests

Me:"
thi
sisNadi
aVanWy
k,y
oumetheratt
he
par
ty"
Her
:"
Idor
ememberhery
es"
Nadia:
"goodtoseey ououtofthehospi t
al,t
his
i
smydaught erJane, she'
saprofessionaland
quali
fi
edphysiot
herapist,she'
l
lbey ourstayi
n
nurse"
Her
:"
nicet
omeety
oual
l
"
Me:
"t
hanksNadi
a"
Nadi
a:"
pleasur
e.Thesear
ethehousekey
s.I
'
ll
l
eaveyoutoitthen"
Me:
"t
hanky
ousomuch,
bye"
Shehuggedherdaught
erthenleft.Thishouse
bel
ongedtoNadiaandshe'sagreedt oselli
tto
meandgotmet hebestphysiot
her api
sts,her
daught
er

Me:"
ladi
es,whil
eyoutwogett oknoweach
ot
her. .
.I'
l
lgetsomegrocer
ies"
Her
:"
okay
"

Shesqui
rmedherey
esatmeandIbl ewhera
ki
sswhichmademef eel
li
keshecouldj
ump
outoft
hewheel
chai
randchaseme

°
°
°
°

Mxol
i
si

Every
whereIwentt
herewerecatcal
li
ngand
whist
li
ng,
Ifear
edformyli
febecauseweall
knowwhattheydotopeopl
ewhoar einf
orrape

Imadesurenott
osti
ranytroubl
eorstepon
someone'
stoessi
ncethedayIarr
ived

Imademywayt othebathr oom aft

erlunchand
sawt woguy sfol
lowingme.Ipr ayedthatitwas
j
ustmyi magi nat
ion,
Iwal kedquicklyanddid
mybusi nessandwhenIl ookedup, t
herewas
thisbigfatguywithdreadlocksstandingin
frontofme
Hewassweatingandhesmel
l
edbad.He
l
ookedatmeupanddownandInoti
cedthe
kni
fei
nhishand

Therewerethr
eeot
hermuscul
arguy
sguar
ding
atentr
ance

Me:
"uhm Idon'
twantanyt
roubl
e"
Hi
m:"
sur
eyoudo"
Me:
"canIpl
easepass"
Him:"
doyouknowwhatt
heycal
lme":
"no"
:"
they
cal
lmebigMacandbigMacdoesn'
tl
ikepeopl
e
whorape"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
bigMacwant
srapi
stst
opay
"

Wi
tht
hathel
ookedatmedeadi
ntheey
eand
thr
ustt
hekni
fedeepi
nmystomachandI
str
uggl
edcat
chi
ngmybreat
h.

Iwentdownonmykneesandhebeckonedt
o
theguyst
odeal
wit
hme.Theybeatmet oa
pulp

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Thenur
sewasveryf
ri
endl
yandki
nd.Shet
old
meabouther
sel
f
Me:
"sot
hisusedt
obey
ourhome?
"
Her
:"
yes"
Me:
"andy
oucanwal
know?
"
Her:
"yesIwaspushedoutofamov i
ngcarand
hadtouseawheelchairf
orayearbutI
'
ve
heal
edandIcanwal kagai
n"
Me:
"sot
her
e'shopef
orme?
"
Her
:"
def
ini
tel
ybutonl
yify
ouwantt
o"
Me:
"I
'm get
ti
ngexci
ted.Tel
lmewhatt
odo"
Her
:"i
t'
snot
awal
kint
hepar
kbuty
ou'
l
lget
t
here"
Me:
"l
et'
sst
art
"

Westar
tedwit
hthebasicsbutIwasgett
ing
i
mpati
entsoIdozedoffduetofr
ustr
ati
onwhil
e
shewentt
ohelpNicounpackthegr
oceri
es

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwastir
edofthi
sfakebel
l
ybutIcouldn'
tj
ust
takei
toffi
ncasesomeoneclasheswi
thme.I
onlyt
akeitof
fwhenI'
m wit
hMusa

Ihadmetwit
hmyl awyerear
li
erandhet
ookme
throught
hewhol
eprocesssoIknewwhereI
stood

It
ookadr iv
eandstrol
ledtomyschoolandhad
alookatthebooksbecauseIhar
dlycheckher
e.
Every
thi
ngwasupt odate
Iwenthomet orestandNicowasst
il
lnoti
n.I
wantedtocal
l hi
m butar
ghitwasnouse.My
phonerang,
itwasmyf ather

Me:
"papa"
Hi
m:"
Tsakane"
Me:
"di
dyouguy
sar
ri
vesaf
ely
?"
Him:
"wedidt
hanksforaski
ng"
:"
I'
m gl
ad.Sor
ryI
coul
dn'
tseeyouof
f"
Hi
m:"
it
'soneoft
her
easonsIcal
l
ed"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"It
akei
tNi
cohasal
readyt
oldy
out
hathe'
s
t
aki
ngasecondwi
fe"
Me:
"excuseme?
"
Hi
m:"
soy
ouhav
en'
tseeny
ourhusband?
"
Me:
"I
'v
ebeenbusywor
king"
Hi
m:"
Isee.
..wor
kwor
kwor
k"
Me:"t
hat'
swhatyou'
vewant
edpapa.Met
obea
successf
ulwoman"
Hi
m:"unt
ily
ougotpr
egnantandhadt
oget
marr
ied"
Me:
"I
'm noti
nthemoodf
orar
gument
s"
Hi
m:"
you'
vechangedal
otIsee"
Me:
"i
tmustbet
hehor
mones"
Him:"
tohel
lwiththef
akehor monesTsakane,
Nicoist
aki
ngasecondwi f
ebecauseyoucan'
t
bearchi
l
dren.Endofdiscussi
on"

HehungupandIwassohur t,soeveryone
thi
nksIcan'thav
echildr
en?It'
snott hatIcan'
t,
i
t'sjustt
hatIam abusywomanandIcan' tj
ust
bringchi
ldr
enint
othisworld.Iwantt ohavea
babysobadbutI '
m busy,
Ican'tfi
tababyi nmy
busyschedule
°
°
°
°

Iwasbackatmysal oonandtomydi smay,my

expensi
veequipmenthasbeenstolenandIwas
runni
ngaroundli
keamadchi cken

°
°
°
°
Khensane

Me:
"uhm canIask"
Her
:"
yes"

Twinwasbymyhouse, shehadboughtwine
andwaspouringi
tint
othebigwinegl
asses
Nicobought

Me:
"howdidyoufeel
whenyoulostyourbaby.I
meantheoneyoumiscar
ri
edt
eny earsago?"

Sheborehereyesonmeandpausedherl
i
ps
thenshesmil
edandpassedmeaglass

Her
:"
wel
lIaccept
edi
tbutt
obehonesti
twas
thegreatestpai
nI'
veeverf
eltmywholeli
fe.I
wasbr oken,emoti
onal
l
yandment al
l
ybutIhad
tobest r
ongbecausepapawantedmet ofini
sh
school"

Icri
ngedasIsippedonthewine,Iwasv er
y
uncomf or
tabl
eandIcoul
dseet hatshe'
sstil
l
hurt
ing.Shesatdownanddidn'
tdrinkhers

Me:
"I
'v
ebeenmeani
ngt
otel
lyousi
s..
.Itwas
me"
Her
:"
you?
"
Me:"
yessi
s,I
'
mtheonewhoki
l
ledy
ourunbor
n
baby
"

Shesmi
l
ed
Her:"
Iknow,
that
'swhyIputpoi
soni
nyour
wine"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t19

Khensane

Lastni
ghtIhadadr eam t
hatkeptmeupal l
ni
ght.WhatifTsakanedidreadthatl
ett
er?Why
hasn'
tsheconfront
edmey et
?Thesuspense
waskil
li
ngme

Ontheotherhand,Ist
il
lcoul
dn'
tgetusedt
othe
wheel
chairl
if
e,Ifel
ttr
appedinmyownbody.I
wassuddenl
ysupposedtoadj
ustt
othi
snew
l
if
eandIdon'tt
hinkIcan

Iwantedtogot othebathr
oom butJanewas
sti
ll
asleepIguessandIdidn'twantt
owakeher.
IcheckedmyTwi tterandt
herewasnot hi
ng
i
nterest
ing,
atleastthedusthassett
ledonmy
case

Acallcamet hr
oughwi
thanumberIcouldn'
t
recogni
se.IknowIwasal
readyawakebutfor
heavenssakewhocall
sat5bloodyam?

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
Khensi
,i
t'
sMusa"
Me:
"doct
orShezi
?"
Him:
"yesMusa.
..Ical
l
edt
oseehowy
ou
hol
dingup"
Me:
"Iwon'
tl
iei
t'
spr
ett
ybad"
Hi
m:"
you'
ll
gett
her
estdon'
twor
ry,
pat
iencei
s
t
hekey"
Me:
"I
'v
enev
erbeenapat
ientper
sony
ouknow"
Hi
m:"f
ir
stt
imeforever
ythi
ng.LookI'
vegotto
gonowbutIwi
l
l makeadatejusttoseeyou"
Me:
"oh?
"
Hi
m:"
ther
e'ssomet
hingIwantust
odi
scuss"
Me:
"ver
ywel
lthen,
whenev
ery
ouf
eel
li
kei
t"
Hi
m:"
bye"

Iwantedt
oscream andshout,ImeanI'
m
crushi
ngonthedoctorsobadandI '
l
lhav
eto
getsometi
psfrom twinbecauseshe'
sabit
cl
osertohi
m

°
°
°
°

Mxol
i
si

Iwokeupatt hrprisoncl
i
nicwithaver
ysor
e
face.Beinginprisonisnotfunatal
l
.Thenur
se
wasl ookingatme

Her:
"bestadv
icei
sfory
out
ost
ayawayf
rom
f
ight
ing"
Me:
"Iwasat
tackednotf
ight
ing"
Her
:"
yeahr
ight
"
Me:
"I
'm honest
"
Her
:"
OKsi
tupsoIcangi
vey
ouy
ourmeds"
It
ri
edsi
tti
ngupbuti
twassor
ewher
eIwas
st
abbed

Me:
"t
hanks"
Her
:"
don'tgett
oocomf
ort
abl
e,i
t'
sapr
isonnot
ahotel
"

Idon'
tknowwhyshesai
dthosewor
dsbutI
wasscaredt
ogobacktomycell

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Nicodidn'
tcomehomeagainbutitdi
dn'tbother
menow, maybehewaswit
hhissecondwi f
e.I
checkedmyscheduleandr
eal
isedthatIhad
enoughtimetovisi
ttwi
n

Idrov
etoherplaceandfoundherbusywi
thher
tr
aini
ng,
shedidn'tl
ookhappyt
oseeme

Her
:"
Janel
et'
stakeabr
eak"
Jane:
"nopr
obl
em,
I'
ll
beout
sidei
fyouneedme"
Her
:"
youdon'
tl
ookokayi
sany
thi
ngt
he
matt
er?
"

Isatont
hecouchandsobbed
Me:
"i
t'
sNi
co"
Her
:"
whatabouthi
m?"
Me:
"papacall
edyest
erdayandt
oldmeabout
Ni
co'
sintent
ions"
Her
:"
tel
lmeabouti
t"
Me:
"Ni
coi
staki
ngasecondwi
fet
win"

Iwai
l
edl
oudl
y

Her
:"
noway
swhy
?"
Me:
"papasay
sbecauseIcan'
tbearchi
l
dren"
Her:
"buty
oucan,youarepreggi
es
remember?.
..hey
, whathappenedt
oyour
bumb"
Me:
"Il
i
ed.Iwasnev
erpr
egnant
"
Shel
ookedsoshockedbutdi
dn'
tcr
uci
fyme

Her
:"
why
?"
Me:
"i
twasamat
terofdesper
ati
on"
Her
:"
I'
m notj
udgi
ng"
Me:
"sohewant
sasecondwi
fei
magi
ne"
Her
:"
may
bei
t'
sfort
hebesti
fdi
vor
cedhi
m"
Me:"
I'
vet
houghtabouti
tbuti
twasbef
oreI
hear
daboutt
hesecondwifethi
ng"
Her
:"
why
?"
Me:"wel
lther
e'sthi
sguywhot
reat
smel
i
kea
queenwhileNicodoesn'
t"
Her
:"
youar
echeat
ing?Lol
that
'
ssowei
rd"
Me:
"wel
lwhenahusbandcan'
tsat
isf
y"

Shebur
stoutl
aughi
ngandIj
oinedher
.She
off
eredasist
erl
yshoulderandknewj
ustt
he
ri
ghtwordstocomfortme

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Al
lIcouldthi
nkofwhenyoumyt
winwasher
e
wasthathorr
ibl
edream.May
bei
t'
sasi
gn

ButIhonest
lyt
hinkNi
coisapi
gespeci
all
yfor
wanti
ngtotakeasecondwi
fe
HecamebyafterJanehel
pedmewi t
hmy
hygi
enepr
ocess,i
twasn'
treal
lygreatt
ohave
someonehel
pingyoudothi
ngsy oushoul
ddo
byyour
sel
fbutIhadnochoice

Hewal
kedi
nhol
dingf
lower
sandpi
zza

Me:
"yousounbel
i
evabl
e"
Hi
m:"
real
l
y?"

Hekissedmyf or
eheadandpul
l
edthe
wheelchai
rcl
osertohi
m ashesatdownl
eav
ing
mebet weenhi
slegs

Me:
"howdar
eyout
akeanot
herwi
fe?
"
Hi
m:"
Iseey
ou'
vespokent
oyourdad"
Me:
"dadknowsaboutt
his?
"
Hi
m:"
hegav
emet
hegr
eenl
i
ght
"
Me:
"youar
epat
het
ic"

Ispi
tonhisfaceandhewipedi
twi
tht
heback
ofhi
ssleeve.Hegotupandlef
t

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Ical
l
edKemi
set
sowhi
l
eIwasatt
hegal
l
ery

Her
:"
whatdoy
ouwant
?"
Me:
"cany
oucomet
othegal
l
ery
?"
Her
:"
why
?"
Me:
"Iwantust
omendf
ences"
Her
:"
I'
vegotnot
hingt
osayt
oyou"
Me:
"pl
ease"
Her
:"
I'
vegott
ogodude"

ShehunguponmeandIcri
ed.Ipackedmy
thi
ngsanddrov
ehome,t
her
ewast hispai
nI
keptav
oidi
ngbutnowi
twasbecomingint
ense

Istoppedont hesi
deandt ookafewdeep
breaths.Icoul
dn'
tstanditasthepai
ndeepened.
Aguysawmeandof f
eredtodri
vemetothe
nearestcli
nic

°
°
°
°

Ifoundadozenmi ssedcal
l
sfrom Kemmy
,may beshewantstoknowwhereIslept
yesterdaysoIcal
l
edherback

Me:
"Kemmyhi
"
Her
:"
I'
m somadaty
ou"
Me:
"why
?"
Her
:"
whydi
dn'
tyoucal
lorcheckuponmeJ?"
Me:"
equi
pmentwasst
olenf
rom mysal
oon
Kemmy "
Her
:"
ohIt
houghty
oudi
dn'
tl
ovemeany
mor
e"
Me:
"huh?
"
Her
:"
youwer
econf
essi
ngy
ourl
ovef
orme"
Me:
"Idi
d?"
Her:
"yes.I
'
m comingov
ert
othesal
oont
o
checkuponyou"
Me:
"I
'l
lbef
ine"
Her
:"
noI
'
m comi
ngr
ightnow"

Yoohwomenandt
hei
rtant
rums.I
magi
neher
wit
hmethewhol
eday

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Ihavebeenwai
ti
ngforTsakaneandshewal
ked
i
nt al
ki
ngonherphone,gi
ggli
ng
Her:
"IswearIam f
ine...I
'
dlovethaty
es.
..okay
seeyoulatert
hen...Il
oveyou..
.bye"
Ichokedonmydr
inkandsheputawayher
phone

Her
:"
what
'
schoki
ngy
ou?
"
Me:
"soy
ouwer
eont
hephonewi
thanot
her
man"
Her
:"
yesi
twasMusa"
Me:
"oht
hat
"
Her:
"I
'm notgoi
ngtohideitbutIl
ovehi
m so
youcangoj umpinthelake"
Me:
"wher
eishe"
Her
:"
he'
sadoct
orduuhobv
iousl
yhesi
tat
eat
t
hehospi
tal
"

Igotupanddrovetothehospi
tal
andfoundhi
m
atthecarpar
kingl
ot.Igr
abbedhim byhi
scoat

Me:
"Dudest
opt
arget
ingmyt
err
it
ory
"
Hi
m:"
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Me:
"soy
ouar
edat
ingmywi
fe"
Hi
m:"
def
ini
tel
ynot
"
Me:
"butIhear
dyouguy
sont
hephone"
Hi
m:"
wesl
eptt
oget
herso?
"

Ipunchedhi
m
Him:"
thi
sisn'
tabouty
ourwi
ne,
Iknowi
t'
sabout
Khensane"
Me:
"st
ayt
hef
uckof
fmyt
err
it
ory
"

Icli
ckedmyt ongueandl
efthi
m wi
pingbl
ood
offhisnose

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t20

Bonang

IthankGodf orthekindmanwhodr ovemet o

thecli
nic,I
'
v ebeentossingandt
urni
ngatthe
painwhiletheyorganisedandambulancef
or
me

Labourpai
nstheysai
d,Iwasaboutt
ogi
vebi
rt
h
toaprematur
ebaby

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Ij
ustgotoutofthebatht
ubwhenIfel
tmy
phonevibr
ate.I
twasamessagefrom Musa
'
putaleashony ourdog'
Ii
mmedi at
elydial
edhisnumberbutsur
pri
singl
y
hisphonewasof f
.Itwaswei
rdbecausehejust
sentmeat ext

AnhourlaterNicowalkedinandt hr
ewhimsel
f
onthebedwi thoutt
akingoffhi
sshoesor
j
acket.Ir
olledmyey esandswitchedof
fmy
si
delamp

°
°
°
°

Bonang

[
ATTHEHOSPI
TAL]
Iwasindeeppai
nandIcoul
dn'tbear
.Ikept
goi
ngupanddownthelabourwardcursi
ngand
pul
li
ngmyhair

Thekindmanwhodr ovemet othecli

nichas
cal
ledKemi setsoformeandof fer
edt obri
ng
mycar .Idi
dn'ttr
usthim butIdi
dn'thavea
choice

Thenurseaskedmetogetont
hebedandIdid.
Sheinser
therfi
ngeri
nmyvagi
nachecki
ngt
he
di
lat
ion

Her:
"youar
eful
l
ydi
l
ated,
assi
stanceonbed
number5!"

Isawt
hest
udentr
ushi
ngt
omybed,
Icoul
dn'
t
concent
rat
eont
hem ast
hepai
n

Student
:"
okayt
hent
akeadeepbr
eat
hand
push"

It
ri
ed.Ir
eal
l
ytri
edbuti
twassohard.Ipushed
acoupl
eofti
mesandalmostgav
eupbutI
di
dn'
t

Student:
"youar
eal
mostt
her
egi
vei
tonel
ast
push"

Igavei
tmyall
andheardt
hatti
nycr
y.Igotso
over
whelmedwit
hmixedf
eel
ings

Nur
se:
"goodj
obi
t'
sagi
rl
"
Me:
"canIhol
dher
?"
St
udent
:"
ofcour
se"

Idon'tevenknowther
ightwor
dstodescr
ibe
thefeeli
ngIfel
twhenIheldmygi
rl

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

IhadpassedoutbutwhenIwokeupIshook
Tsakaneroughl
y
Her
:"
what
"
Me:
"weneedt
otal
k"
Her
:"
ther
e'snot
hingtotal
kabout
.I'
l
lhandov
er
t
hedivor
cepaperstoyoutomorr
ow"

Shedidn'
tev
enturntof
aceme.Shejust
mummer edever
ythi
ngi
nhersl
eep.Ifor
cedher
tosi
tup

Me:"
yourboyfr
ienddoesn'
tevenknowy
ouguy
s
ar
edating.Hedoesn'
tloveyou"
Her:
"ohandy
oudo?
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
ouar
eev
en
sel
fi
sh"
Me:
"I
'm notsel
fi
sh,
hesai
dsohi
msel
f"
Her
:"
lol
"
Me:"
youknowwhatt
hisisawast
e.I
'
mtryi
ngto
prot
ecty
ouandyouarepushi
ngmeawayi
t'
s
ok"
Her
:"
wowpr
otect
ion"
Shelaughedoutsol
oudandcov
eredher
sel
f
wit
hblanket

Me:"
okayt
henwe'l
lsi
gnthepaper
stomor
row
andI'
l
lbeoutofy
ourhai
r"
Her
:"
good"

°
°
°
°

Khensane

It
alkedt
oMusat
hewhol
eni
ght
,thatguy
knowshowt
omakeawomandr
oll
.
Janeknockedonmyr
oom

Me:"
Ican'tunderst
andwhyyouknockcozit'
s
notl
ikeyoumi ghtfi
ndmenakedoranythi
ng"

Her
:"
haiyou'l
lnev
erknowr
ememberMt
hunz
i
f
rom Scandal
?"
Me:
"Idon'
twat
chsoapi
es"
Her
:"
it
'st
imef
ort
rai
ning"
Me:"okaybef
orethatt
houghIwantt
owrit
ea
song.Ineedtogettostudi
oandmaybeahit
si
nglewoulddo"
Her
:"
conf
idenceIl
i
ket
hat
"
Me:
"yeah"
Wedidthemorni
ngrout
ineandguesswho
par
kedhiscar
?Ni
co
Me:"
Janepl
easet
ell
thi
spi
gthatIdon'
twantt
o
seehi
m"
Hi
m:"
TsakaneandIar
edi
vor
ced"
Me:
"asi
nsepar
ated?
"
Hi
m:"
yes"

Iwant
edt
ochasehi
m outbuthel
ookedhur
t

Me:
"comeonf
oll
owme"

Iwheeledt
othegar
denandhesatf
latont
he
grass

Him:"
yeahshe'sal
readywithsomeonebutwhat
hurt
sisknowingthattheguydoesn'
tfeel
the
same"
Me:"
you'
l
lbefi
ne.Younev err
eal
lyl
ovedherbut
howdoyouknowt hatdudedoesn'
tl
oveher"
Hi
m:"
Iconf
ront
edhi
m"
Me:
"Iseeandshedoesn'
tbel
i
evey
ou"
Hi
m:"
yes"

Wet
alkedf
orawhi
l
eandhest
ayedf
orl
unch

Me:"
forsomeonewhoownsthekindof
pr
operti
esyouown,y
ouarer
elaxed"
Him:"
Ihav
et ofocusonmyweddi
ngsoI
handedoverev
er y
thi
ng"
Me:
"wheni
sthat
?"
Hi
m:"
youhav
etodeci
de"
Me:
"I
'm notaweddi
ngpl
anner
"
Hi
m:"
buti
t'
syourweddi
ngso"
Me:
"l
olhowcani
tpossi
blybemyweddi
ng?
"
Hi
m:"
youar
etheoneI
'
m get
ti
ngmar
ri
edt
o"

Hel
ookedser
iousandIbl
i
nkedi
nconf
usi
on

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwashappythatwesi gnedthepapers.We
werej
ustgoingtosplitevery
thi
nginhalfwi
th
nocompli
cations.If
inall
ycamecleanaboutthe
babysagaandhedi dn'tseem t
ocare
Iwastaki
ngstr
ainatworkthoughbecauseit
washecti
cbutIwenttoShezi'
soff
iceforl
unch.
Iwenti
nholdi
ngdoggybagsanddr inks

Hi
m:"
lear
nhowt
oknock!
"
Me:
"geezi
t'
sme"
Hi
m:"
I'
m busy
"
Me:
"whathappenedt
oyournose?
"

Hehadanel
astoplastonhi
snose.Iwal
ked
ov
ertohi
m andplacedthefoodonhist
abl
e

Hi
m:"
NicoMbat
haofcour
se"
Me:"
I'
m sosor
rybutgoodnewsi
sthatwear
e
di
vorced"
Hi
m:"
why
?"
Me:
"Iwantust
obegi
nonacl
eansl
ate"
Hi
m:"
us?St
art
?"
Me:
"ourr
elat
ionshi
p"
Hi
m:"
whatr
elat
ionshi
pTsakane?"
Me:
"It
hought.
..
"
Hi
m:"
yout
houghtwr
ongnowgetout
"

Igotoutwi
thatai
lbetweenmyl egs.Iwonder
whatNicodi
dtopisshim of
fli
kethat

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t21
Tsakane

Iwalkedi
ntothecanteen,skimmedthrough
andsawsisterNomzingel
iandgavehert he
doggybagsbecauseIhadl ostmyappeti
te.
Shehappil
yaccepted

Her
:"
theLor
dwi
l
lbl
essy
ouDoct
orMbat
ha"
Me:
"t
hanksNomzi
gs"
Her
:"
it
'sl
i
key
ousawmysi
tuat
ionngi
yabonga"
Me:
"youknowhowGoddoest
heset
hings
Amen"

Ilef
twhileshewassti
l
lthanki
ngme.If
eltgood
forhel
pingoutsomeoneinneed

Iwor
kedwi
thaheav
yhear
taf
ter
war
dsbecause
Icoul
dn'
tdi
gestwhatMusasai
d

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Me:"
wedon'
tj
okeaboutst
uffl
i
ket
hatandy
ou
knowit
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m notj
oki
ng"

Het
ookouthi
sphoneanddi
aled

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"
Hi
m:"
cal
l
ingy
ourdad"

Heputitonl
oudspeakerandIhear
dmy
f
ather
'svoi
ce

Dad:
"son"
Him:"
papaI'
vebeent
ryi
ngtotel
lKhensanet
hat
she'
sgoingt
obemywi feandshe'
snottaki
ngi
t
well
"
Dad:
"whybecausesheshoul
dbehappy
"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowbutshet
hinksI
'
mjoki
ng"
Dad:
"i
tmeansyout
oldheri
namannert hat
conv
incedhery
ouwerej
oki
ng.I
'
llcal
lher"
Hi
m:"
okaykeepwel
l
"
Dad:
"by
e"

Icoul
dn'
tbel
i
evei
t,Iwassoshockedt
hat
nothi
ngcameoutofmymout h.Howcoul
dour
fat
herdothi
stousespeci
all
yTsakane

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Kemiset
sor
ushedt
omybedf
oll
owedbyJand
theki
ndman

Kemmy
:"ohsi
sI'
m sosor
ry"
Me:
"whatf
or?
"
Her
:"
fornotbei
ngt
her
ewheny
ouneededme
t
hemost
"
Me:
"i
t'
sokayy
ouar
eher
enow"
J:
"soi
t'
sapr
emat
ure?
"
Me:
"yesshe'
ssot
iny
"
Me:
"hi
"

Iaddr
essedt
othequi
etguyst
andi
nguphol
ding
fl
owers

Hi
m:"
hel
loIj
ustWant
edt
ocheckonhowy
ou
ar
edoi
ng"
Me:
"Iam wel
lthanks,
Igav
ebi
rt
htoababygi
rl
"
Him:
"congr
atul
ati
onsbutunf
ort
unatel
yIcan'
t
st
aysohere'
smycar dandohyourcarkeys.
Keepwell
"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lthanks"
Isai
dtaki
ngt
hecardandgiv
inghi
m awar
m
smil
e.Hesmi
ledbackandkeft

Kemmy
:"who'
sthathandsomebaeb?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowy
ouar
etheoneswhocame
wi
thhim"
J:
"comeon"

Il
aughedandexpl
ainedev
ery
thi
ngt
othem

Kemmy
:"wer
eyougi
venst
it
ches?
"
Me:
"no"
J:
"canweseeher
?"
Me:
"noJy
oucan'
t"
Kemmy
:"what
'shername?
"
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tnamedhery
et"
Kemmy
:"Remor
ati
l
e"
Me:
"why
?"
J:
"wedoduuh"
Kemmy:"namesoft
oday,ei
thert
heyar
eRemo
somet
hing,Reasomethi
ngorOasomet hi
ng"
Me:
"shuuRemor
ati
l
eisper
fect
"

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

WhenIcamebackf
rom mymor ni
ngj
ogshe
al
socameinbackf
rom wor
klooki
ngamess.
Wecol
l
udedatt
hedoorandIl
etheri
nfi
rst

Shewalkedst
rai
ghtupst
air
swhi
l
eIdr
anksome
waterandcal
l
edKhensane

Her
:"j
ustbecauseyouandmyfatherare
par
asit
esdoesn'tmeanyoucancallanyti
me"
Me:
"mor
ningt
oyout
ooKhensi
"
Her
:"
arghwhatdoy
ouwant
?"
Me:"
Iwantusfi
nishourconv
ersat
ion,
yest
erday
youdidn'
tgi
vemeachance"
Her
:"
ther
e'snot
hingt
odi
scuss.Iwon'
tdot
hat
t
omyownt wi
n"
Me:
"buty
oushoul
dthi
nkabouti
tcar
eful
l
y"
Her
:"
ther
e'snot
hingt
othi
nkaboutby
e"

Ir
anupst
air
stoshowerbutov
erheadTsakane
ont
hephone

Her :
"ofcourseIhaveforgi
venyou.Iknewyou
wer esayingthatoutofanger..
.yeswear e
divorced. .
.Iknowitwasahast ydeci
sionbut
thesoonerwegotdonewi thitt
hebetter..
.I'
m
glady ouapologised..
.seeyoulater
"

Igotinanddi
dn'tsayanythingtoher,j
ustwent
i
nt heshower
.Iknowt hatthisguyispl
aying
tr
icksonthet
winsandIdon' tknowwhy

°
°
°
°
J

Iwasly
ingonthet
hickr
ugt
hinki
ngver
yhar
d
andKemiset
sowasbythet
ablest
udyi
ng

Md:
"Kemmycanwet
alk?
"
Her
:"
sur
ewhat
'sup?
"

Sheputawayherbooksandl
aydownnextt
o
me

Me:"It
hinkyoushoul
dmov ebackwi
th
Bonang":"
why":
"shej
ustgav
ebirt
handneeds
yoursupport
"
Her
:"
suppor
twhi
chIcangi
veev
eni
fI'
m her
e"
Me:"l
ookthi
swhol
ethi
ngi
sov
erwhel
ming,
it'
s
happeni
ngsofast
"
Her
:"
whatwhol
ethi
ng?
"
Me:
"t
his.
..thi
srel
ati
onshi
pthi
ngy,i
t'
stoomuch
f
ormeIthinkIneedti
metodigestever
ythi
ng"
Her:
"nowhaty
ouneedi
sast
opki
ckony
our
chest"

Shesai
dgett
inguplooki
ngl
i
keshej
ustwoul
d
ki
ckme.Igotuptoo

Me:"don'
ttakethi
sthewrongway,
yesI
'
m
at
tractedt
oy oubutI'
m st
il
lgay
"
Her
:"
heeheet
hisguybet
huna!
"

Shewentbackt
othet
abl
eandcont
inued
st
udyi
ngleavi
ngmehangi
ng

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwasonmywayt oseeMusawhenmydad
cal
l
ed.Iputhi
m onBluet
oot
hhandsf
ree

Me:
"papaI
'
m dr
ivi
ngcanIcal
lyouback"
Hi
m: "
noit
surgent
.Ther
e'safami
l
ymeet
ingt
his
weekendandIwantyoutocome"
Me:
"Ican'
tI'
m wor
king"
Hi
m:"
Iknowt
hat
"
Me:"
sopapamay
bey
oushoul
dtel
lmeabout
t
hismeeti
ng"
Hi
m:"
I'
mtel
l
ingev
ery
oneatonce"

Ist
oppedt
hecaront
hesi
de

Me:
"youunder
standt
hatmywor
kisi
mpor
tant
"
Hi
m:"Idon'
tbutIdoknowt
hatI
'
m seei
ngy
ou
t
hisweekend"
Me:
"but.
..
"
Him:
"si
ncewhendoy ouref
uset
oli
sten?
youar
e
comi
ngendofdiscussi
on"
Me:
"okay
"

Iswal
lowedhar
dandt ur
nedbackhome.My
fat
herissomet
hingel
se,theweekendwas
tomorr
owandhowi sheexpect
ingmetojust
showupathome
Idrov
et otwi
nandshewasalreadyi
nbed.She
wastalki
ngonthephoneanddidn'
tlookhappy.
Igoti
nwi t
hherandwait
edforhertofini
sh

Me:
"babe"
Her
:"
hey
"
Me:
"youdon'
tl
ookgood"
Her
:"
it
'sy
ourf
ather"
Me:
"ar
ghI
'
m soangr
yathi
m"
Her
:"
imagi
nemegoi
nghomei
nthi
sst
ate"
Me:"
Iwonderwhatthemeet
ingi
sabout
"She
l
ookeduncomfor
table"
youknowsomet
hing?
"
Her:
"i
t'
sabouty
ourmar
ri
ageandNi
cot
aki
nga
secondwif
e"
Me:
"okay
"
Her
:"
Nicowant
stot
akemeast
hesecondwi
fe"
Iwentdeaff
orasecond

Me:
"par
don?
"
Her
:"
butIr
efused"
Me:
"Iseeuhm I
'
m sl
eepi
ng"
Her
:"
goodni
ght
"

Idi
dn'
tsl
eepwel
l

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

BonusI
nser
t22

Khensane
Thedr i
vehomewasv er
ylongandexhausti
ng.
Themoodwassosourespeci al
lybecauseI
couldn'
ttel
lwhatTsakanewasfeeli
ng.Her,
JaneandIwer einthesamecardrivi
ngbehind
Nico.

IcheckedmyFacebookandsawt hatBonagang
hadpostedastat
us'BaebiiRemo '.Ir
eall
y
don'
tknowhowt ofeelbutIwasn'
tangr
yher
anymore,i
twasnouse

°
°
°
°

Bonang
Ihadtostayforawhil
eatthehospi
tal
because
Remoi saprematur
ebabybutKemisetso
boughtthethi
ngsIaskedf
or

Her
:"
Ican'
tst
ay.Ij
ustboughtt
het
hingsy
ou
r
equest
ed"
Me:
"t
hankswhat
'st
her
ushandwher
e'sJ?
"
Her
:"
he'
sver
ybusyf
ixi
ngt
hesal
oon"
Me:
"what
'supwi
thy
ouguy
s?"
Her
:"
what
'
swi
thwhat
?"
Me:
"yout
woseemedt
oocl
ose"
Her
:"
Ihav
etogo"
Me:
"okay
"

ShedashedoffandIl
aughedather
,mysi
ster
al
waysthoughtJwastoohandsometobegay
Il
oggedinonFacebookandnot
icedt
hat
Cancerr
eact
edonmyst atuswi
thahear
t.I
deci
dedtocal
lher

Her
:"
hi"
Me:
"howar
eyou?
"
Her
:"
can'
tcompl
ain,
you?
"
Me:"I
'
m wellt
hanks.Look,
Iknowalothas
happenedbetweenusbutImissy
oumt ase"
Her
:"
Imi
ssy
oual
so.
.uhm mamaRemo"
Me:"ohyesIgav
ebirt
htoapr
emat
urebaby
about30hoursago"
Her
:"
premat
ure?
"
Me:
"yeah"
Her
:"
unf
ort
unat
elyIcan'
tcomeseey ou.I
'
m on
mywayhomeandbesides,Ican'
tdothethi
ngs
Iusedt
o"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryaboutwhathappenedt
oyou"
Her
:"
it
'sokay
.I'
m gl
ady
oucal
l
ed"
Me:
"Ihopeweseeeachot
hersoon"
Her
:"
orwecanv
ideocal
ll
ikeweusedt
o"
Me:
"I
'l
lcal
ll
atert
hen"
Her
:"
cheer
s"
Me:
"by
ebabe"

Iwassorel
i
ev edaf
tert
alki
ngtomybestf
ri
end.
Ican'
tst
opblamingmyselff
oral
l
owingMxol
isi
tocomebetweenus

°
°
°
°

Mxol
i
si

Iswearthisisn'
tanyfun,
theper
sonwho
stabbedmehasnowmademehi swifeandi
t'
s
notpleasantatall
buttheit
'
swhatIcandoto
survi
ve

Bi
gMacj oi
nedmeinbedandhel
dme.Iwas
di
sgust
edbecauseBi
gMacwasr eal
l
yfatand
hesweatalot

Hi
m:"
xoxodarli
ng,
tomorr
owtheyaresear
chi
ng
t
heplaceandIwantyout
oholdsomestufff
or
me"
Me:
"t
hat
'sdanger
ous"
Hi
m:"
soy
ouar
eref
usi
ng?
"
Me:
"noIj
ust.
..
"
Hi
m:"
ofcour
sey
ouwoul
dn'
tref
usenowpass
t
hevasel
i
ne"
Me:
"I
'mt
ir
edt
odaypl
ease"
Hi
m:"
pleasewhatwena?Dunusa"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Wewereal
li
nthesit
ti
ngroom,Ni
co,twi
nmy
par
ent
sandI.Iwassoreadyt
ohearwhat
t
hesebackst
abbi
ngpeopl
ehadt
osay

Me:
"wear
eher
e"
Mama:
"l
etmebr
ingt
her
efr
eshment
s"

Shegotupseei
ngt
het
ensi
oncoul
dbecutwi
th
akni
fe

Papa:"
Tsakane,wheny
ouf el
lpr
egnant
,Iwas
hurtanddi
sappoint
edbecauseIonl
ywanted
thebestf
ory ou"
Me:
"youmadei
tver
ycl
ear
"
Hi
m: "
MbathaandIorganisedthatfastl
owkey
weddingbecausewewer ebothprotect
ingour
r
eputati
onandwet houghtyou'
dbot hgrowto
l
oveeachot herasar
rangedmar r
iagesalways
work"
Ni
co:
"butt
hisonedi
dn'
t"
Hi
m:"youwer
ebothinal
ovel
essmar
ri
agebui
l
t
onl
iesanddecei
ve"
Me:
"It
ri
edt
olov
eNi
co"
Ni
co:
"Iknowy
out
ri
edandIappr
eci
atet
hat
"
Hi
m:"Isee.Ist
il
lthi
nky
oucanbot
hmakei
t
wor
k"
Me:
"howi
sthat
?thanksmama"

Isai
dtaki
ngt
hej
uiceandbi
scui
tsmama
off
ered

Nico:
"i
t'
snousecozwear eal
readydi
vor
ced
plusTsakaneherehasgothimselfamanto
enter
tai
nherbutshewast oobusyformeplus
shefakedbeingpregnant
"
Me:
"youwantmyt
winsi
sterasy
oursecond
wif
ehowsel f
ish.Ohaboutt
hepr
egnancy
,Iwas
underpr
essureokay"
Dad:"
bicker
ingwon'tsol
veanythi
ngsincey ou
guysdecidedtosi
gndi v
orcepaperswithout
checki
ngwi tht
helawyersfi
rst
.Whodoest hat
?"
Me:
"Iknowi
t'
sst
upi
dbuti
t'
sfort
hebest
"
Ni
co:
"canwesol
vet
hisl
i
kesensi
blepeopl
e"
Dad:"
Shanduher
egavemesomer easonable
fact
saboutmarr
yingKhensaneandIthinkhe
shouldhav
eyouboth,y
ouar enotst
rangersand
...
"
Khensane:
"whatpossi
bler
easonspapa?
"

Papaexpl
ainedev
ery
thi
ngandwet
ookal
unch
break

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Ireal
l
ythinkthi
smeeti
ngisr
eall
ynotgoi
ng
anywhere.Howcansomeonewanttomarryme
becauseI'
m cri
ppl
edandwasraped?
besi
des,
Nicoalr
eadymademov esonmebeforeI
becamel i
kethi
s

Mom wental
loutwithlunchbecause
every
thi
ngwasdeli
cious.Janehadonher
headset
sandkeptnodding, pr
obabl
yli
steni
ng
tothedemoIhome-r ecorded
Iwheeledtoherandshet
ookoffherheadset
s
andlookedatmewi t
hamouthfulofakgni
.
Mom special
isedi
ncooki
ngIndi
anfood

Her
:"
yourmom i
sagr
eatcooky
ouknow"
Me:
"Iknowr
ight
"
Her
:"
how'
sthemeet
inggoi
ng?
"
Me:"
Ican'
tevenimaginewhatconcl
usi
onwe'
l
l
cometoafterdeser
t"
Her
:"
ever
ythi
ngwi
l
lbef
ine"
Me:
"Iguess"

Janewassoamazing,shedi
dn'
tknowwhatwe
weredi
scussi
ngbutshespokeposi
ti
vel
y.Il
i
ked
her

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Aft
erdeser
t,i
twastimetoconcl
udeonthe
matter
.Wealltal
kedabouthowwefel
tabout
thi
s

Me:"Icanonl
yblamemy sel
fformaki
ng
Tsakanetobeli
evethatIdidn'
tlov
eherwhich
l
edhert ocheat
ing.I
'm sorr
yforever
ythi
ng
Tsakane"
Her:
"I'
m alsosor
ryforever
ythi
ng,
Idi
dn't
real
isedthatIwasn'
tgiv
ingthi
smarr
iagea
chance.Ithi
nkweshouldgiveourmarri
age
anotherchance"
Khensane:
"hal
l
eluj
ah!
"
Her:
"andIthi
nkitwit
hworkifyouagreedt
obe
hi
ssecondwi f
etwin.It
'sr
easonabl
eandyou'
ve
gotnothi
ngtolose"
Khensane:
"uhm Idon'
tknow"
Her
:"
it
'sokayi
twi
l
lwor
k"
Her:"
okaybutnopr essureoranythi
ng,don't
expectmet osleepwithhim oranythi
ng.
Nothingchangesbutifitmakesy ouallhappy
thenheregoesnot hi
ng. .
.meget ti
ngmar r
ied
tomyt win'
shusband"

Shedidn'tl
ookhappybutev
eryonewas.Funny
howl i
fecouldj
ustworki
nyourfavourj
ustl
ike
that
,buteasycomeeasygoIknow

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
'
m notpost
ingt
omor
rowI
'
m sor
ry
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t23

Khensane

Whathappenedbackathomewasdef i
nit
ely
surreal
.Howcaneveryoneagr
eetosomethi
ng
thatdoesn'
tmakesenseli
kethat
?Nohhmani t
happenedsofastandweallknowwhat
happenswhensomet hi
ngcomessoeasy

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Hi
m:"
sowhathappensaboutMusa?
"
Me:"
wellwedoworkt
ogethermeani
ngwesee
eachot
heroft
enbutI
'
lldr
awboundari
es"
Hi
m:"
that
'swhatI
'
dli
ket
ohear
"
Me:"Ican'
tbel
i
evewewentasf
arassi
gni
ngt
he
papers"
Hi
m:"
don'tev
enment
ioni
t,t
hel
evel
of
st
upi
dit
y"
Me:"
butIspoket
oourl
awy
ersandev
ery
thi
ngi
s
get
ti
ngfixed"
Hi
m:"
hhhm doct
orf
ix"

Wel
aughedwhil
ehavi
ngthi
sconver
sat
ionin
t
hebat
htub,
itwasj
usttoogoodt
obetrue.We
scrubbedeachot
her'
sbacksandt
easedone
anotherher
eandther
e

Me:"
It hi
nkweshouldr
enewourv
owsand
t
hrowal i
ttl
epar
ty,
weneverdi
dhaveawhi
te
wedding"
Hi
m:"y
ouwantabigweddi
ngTsakane,af
tert
en
whol
eyear
s?.
..t
enyear
s,yoohit
'sbeentoo
l
ong"
Me:
"r
ightandwehavebothmatur
edi
ntot
his
mar
ri
age.Let'
smakeitwork"
Hi
m:"
let
'sdef
ini
tel
ymakei
twor
k"

Wit
hthatbei
ngsai
dhecar
ri
edmet
othebed
andspr
eadmylegs

Me:
"ohmygod"
Hi
m:"
toni
ghtIwanty
out
ofeel
speci
al"
Me:
"ohhhh"

Iwassoexcitedasheki ssedmyt hi
ghsslowl
y
thenupmyst omacht hengoingbackdownt o
myhoneypot .Hi
st onguemademyt oescurl
andmyl egsshake.IbrushedhisheadthenI
fel
titcoming

Ispl
ashedonhisfaceandli
ckedsomeand
l
ookedatmewi t
hst r
angeeyes.Hesnaked
himsel
fontopofmeandposi ti
onedhi
mself

Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyouokay
"
Me:
"yesdaddy
"

Imov
edf
orwar
dsohecoul
dent
ermebecause
Icouldn'twaitanylonger
.Wefuckedl
ikemad
people,itwaslikewe'veal
waysenvi
edone
another.Itwasl i
kewewer edr
unk

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Ifel
thishorr
ibl
ebreath,hewasbr
eathi
ng
heavi
lyonmyneckenj oy
inghi
mself
.Itri
ed
pushinghi
m offbuthewastoopowerf
ul

Ithenf
eltsomeoneshaki
ngmeandwhenI
openedmyt ear
yeyes,i
twasJane.Ir
ubbedmy
eyesandsatup.Shest
aredatmeasi
fshe'
d
seenaghost

Me:
"hey
"
Her
:"
youy
ousatonYourown"
Me:
"Idi
d?"
Her
:"
tr
ymov
ingabi
t"

Idi
dandmyl egsmoved.Iwasabl
etomov
emy
l
egs.Iscr
eamedinj
oyandwehugged

Her:
"t
hishappenedsofastmeani
ngwear
eonl
y
l
eftwit
hgetti
ngy out
owalk"
Me:
"yesI
'
m soexci
ted"
Her
:"
whatwer
eyoudr
eami
ngabout
?"
Me:
"i
t'
snot
hing"
Her
:"
it
'sbet
tert
oopenupy
ouknow"

It
oldheraboutmyni
ght
mar
es

Me:
".
..
yeahsoIusual
l
ydr
eam abouti
t"
Her
:"
nowit'
snott
heti
metothi
nkaboutt
hat,
nowlet
'st
rai
next
rahar
dtogetyouwal
ki
ng"

West
art
edwi
tht
het
rai
ning

°
°
°

Ni
co
 wewokeupi ntheki
tchenandsaid"howthe
hel
ldi
dthi
sshithappen?"ohhbaby
.Drunkin
l
ovewebeallnight

Andinthekitcheni
swherewewokeupt othis
song.Iwashi t
ti
ngi
tfr
om thebackwhichshe
hel
dont othesinkandIguesswepassedout
aft
erIcol
lapsedonherbackaft
eracrazynight

Me:"
webett
ergoupst
air
sbefor
ethewor ker
s
wakeupandfi
ndusnakedontheki
tchen"
Her:
"yesandIhav
etopr
epar
eforwor
kandgo
seetwin"
Me:
"aboutt
hat
,It
hinkweshoul
dleav
eherout
oft
his"
Her
:"
meani
ng?
"

Wer
ushedt
oourbedr
oom andIsatont
hebed
whi
l
eshewal
l
edi
nthewar
drobe

Me:
"t
hewholepol
ygamyi
deawasj
ustoutof
t
hequest
ion"
Her:
"youthi
nky
oushoul
dnol
ongert
akeheras
yoursecondwi
fe?
"
Me:"y
esbutit'
sembar
rassingbecauseIhad
al
readyspokentoy
ourfather"
Her
:"
Don'
twor
ryaboutf
atherI
'
llt
alkt
ohi
m"
Me:
"yeahpl
usy
ousawhowKhensanedi
dn'
t
l
ookhappy"
Her
:"
yeah"

Shegotint
heshowerwhil
eIwor
emy
tr
acksui
tsf
ormydail
yjog

Me:
"I
'm headi
ngout
"
Her
:"
wher
eto?
"
Me:
"j
oggi
ng"
Her
:"
Ithoughty
ouwer
ejoi
ningme"
Me:
"bet
terl
ucknextt
ime"

Iwentintoki
ssherthenwentout.Ithought
aboutthi
swholesi
tuati
onandmar ry
ing
Khensanewasn'
treal
lyagoodidea.Iranfast
er
,r
unningawayfrom myfeel
i
ngsforher

Ireali
sedthatIloveTsakanewit
hall
ofmeev en
i
fIt houghtIdi
dn'tsoIwasgoingtofocuson
heronlyfrom now

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Her
e'ssomet
hingImanagedt
ocomewi
th
 I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t24

Khensane

Iwassoexcit
edtofeel
myl egsandbeableto
movethem.JaneandIworkedextrahardwit
h
thephy
sio.Aft
ermymor ni
ngtrai
ningIcal
led
Bonang

Her
:"
babe"
Me:
"mamaRemo,
how'
sshe?
"
Her
:"
she'
scomingoutoft
heincubat
orandI
'
ll
beabl
etohol
dandfeedher"
Me:
"musthav
ebeenhar
d"
Her
:"
yeahi
tis"
Me:
"ar
eyouokay
?"
Her
:"
yeahI
'
m goodhowabouty
ou?
"
Me:
"I
'm bl
essedbecausei
tlooksl
i
kenexty
earI
mi
ghtactual
lybewalki
ng"
Her
:"
that'
sgr
eatbabe.We'
l
lbeabl
eto
r
econci
le"
Me:
"guesswhat
"
Her
:"
what
?"
Me:
"I
'm get
ti
ngmar
ri
ed"
Her
:"
youl
i
e!t
owhom?
"
Me:"
theeNi
chol
asMbat
hamgani
.Mul
ti
bi
l
li
onair
e"

Ihear
dherscr
eami
ngont
heot
herend

Her
:"
when?
how?
why
?"
Me:
"I
'l
ltel
lyout
hedet
ail
sonedayby
e"
Her:
"wai
tbef
orey
ouhangup.doy
oul
ove
hi
m? "
Me:
"nope"
Her
:"
okay
"

Ial
socalledJandhewasalsoshocked.Imay
notbeinlovewit
hNicobuthe'l
ldef
ini
tel
ygive
met heweddingI
'veal
waysdreamtof
especi
all
ybecauseIwoul
dbewal ki
ngbyt hen

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
Isavedapat
ienttodayandIwaswor ki
ngona
verygoodmoodsi ngingt
oLOVEDON' T
CHANGE.Idecidedt ocal
lKhensane

Me:
"hi
twi
n"
Her:
"heyhey
":"
howar
eyou?Yousoundso
cheerf
ul"
Her:
"Iam wokeupi
nagoodmood,
howar
e
you?
"
Me:"
goodgoodsoShanduandIar
ecomi
ng
ov
erfordi
nner
"
Her
:"
oh?
"
Me:"
yeahsoworryl
essaboutt
hef
oodwe'
l
l
br
ingitandl
otsofwi
ne"
Her
:"
okeydokey
"
Inot
icedMusast
andi
ngatt
hedoor
Me:
"okaygot
tago"
Her
:"
sho"

Iputawaymyphoneandhewal
kedi
n

Me:"y
oushouldknowbet
tert
hant
oli
stent
o
pr
ivatephonecal
l
s"
Hi
m:"
coul
dn'
thel
p.Ibr
oughtt
heNgemaf
il
e"
Me:
"okayt
hanks"
Him:"
y ouknowwecouldbefri
endswith
benefi
tsbutstopt
ell
i
ngpeopleI'
my our
boyfr
iend,I
'v
egotanimagetoprotect
"
Me:"youareast
il
lstuckther
ewel
lI'
vemoved
passedthatasinyester
daynowi
fyou'
ll
excuse
me"
Her:
"don'
tcomecryi
ngtomewheny
ourShandu
sl
eepswithyourt
win"
Me:
"what
ever
"

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Bei
ngabl
etoholdmydaughterandgohome
wit
hherwasthebestf
eel
ingever.Ti
nyhands
andti
nyf
eetwassoadorabl
eandIf el
tmyheart
l
eapwejoy

Kemiset
sohadpr epar
edmyapar t
mentmaki
ng
i
tbabyfri
endl
y.HerandJhadbr ought
ever
ythi
ngnecessaryfort
hebaby
Iwatchedhersleepi
ngandhel dhertinyhand.
Myphoner angloudlybutshedidn'twakeup.I
qui
cklyansweredwi t
houtcheckingandmov ed
awayfrom thebedroom

Hi
m:"
didn'
tthi
nky
ou'
dpi
ckup"
Me:
"Mx
oli
si?
"
Hi
m:"
pleaseopenf
orme"
Me:
"youar
einpr
ison"
Hi
m:"
opent
hedoor
"

Iwentt
othedoorandf
oundhim st
andi
ngt
her
e
andgri
nni
ng.Ist
oodbythedoor
Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Hi
m:"
I'
m out
"
Me:
"Icanseet
hat
"
Hi
m:"
letmei
n"
Me:
"not
hebabyi
sst
il
lyoung"
Hi
m:"
baby
?"
Me:
"dweeh"
Kemmy
:"who'
satt
hedoor
?Mxol
i
si?
"
Hi
m:"
indaf
lesh"
Kemmy
:"l
eav
e"
Hi
m:"
thi
sisnoty
ourapar
tment
"
Kemmy:
"IknowbutI
'
llki
cky
ourbut
tify
oudon'
t
gonow"
Me:
"goawayMxol
i
si"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Kemisetsoclosedt
hedoorandwelookedat
eachother.Somepeopl
ejusthav
eaner v
eyazz
°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Iwasswampedwi thwor kt
odaybecauseI
haven'
tbeenf
ocusedlately
.Iwasfi
ghti
ngmy
feel
ingf
orKhensanebecauseI'
veseenhow
Tsakanewasreal
lytr
ying.

IhavelovedKhensanesinceshewasi nprimary
school,sheusedtobethisv i
brantbeaut
if
ul
personIwantedbuttheniffatesentTsakane
thenwhoam Itochanget hat?
Lat
erIpi
ckedupmybeaut
if
ulwi
fef
rom wor
k
andwedrovet
ohert
win'
s

Me:
"howwasy
ourdayl
ove?
"
Her
:"
hect
ic,
your
s?"
Me:"
busy.Hav
eyoumanagedt
ost
artwi
tht
he
pl
anning?
"
Her
:"
fort
heweddi
ng?
"
Me:
"ofcour
se"
Her:
"Idi
dn'
tgetachancebutIwi
l
ldosoonasI
can"
Me:
"okay
"

Wear r
ivedandgotinandt
hereshewasleani
ng
oncrutchestr
yingt
owalkwit
hthem.Tsakane
putthetakeawaysatt
heki
tchenandIsaton
thecouch
Jane:
"t
hat
'si
tfort
heday
.I'
l
lbeupst
air
s"
Her
:"
thanksJane"

Janehelpedhersi
tontherugandIbalanced
herwit
hacomf ort
abl
epill
owplacedagainstt
he
couchfacingme.

Tsakanecameandhandedt
hef
oodandweat
e

Me:
"soy
ouar
eal
readyt
hisf
ar?
"
Her
:"y
eaht
hisismyaf
ter
noont
rai
ningandi
t'
s
goi
ngsowell
"
Tsakane:
"wear
esopr
oudofy
ou"
Her
:"
thanks.SoonI
'
llbewal
ki
ngl
i
keIusedt
o"
Tsaki:
"youaresost
rongmtaseImeanyou
surv
ivedaf al
landy
ouarealr
eadywal
ki
ng"
Her
:"
whatcanIsayt
win"
Me:
"youar
eamazi
ng"
Her
:"
sowhyar
eyouguy
sher
e?"
Me:
"we'
vecometotel
lyouthatIam nol
onger
t
aki
ngyouasasecondwife"
Her
:"
why
?"
Tsakane:
"wel
lShanduandIdeci
dedtor
enew
ourvowsandwe' l
lfi
nal
l
yhaveawhit
eweddi
ng,
theonewenev erhadsi
ncewegotmarr
iedi
na
j
iff
y"
Me:"
sowearel
ett
ingyouof
fthehookand
sav
ingourmar
ri
age"
Tsakane:
"weal
sowanty
out
odothepl
anni
ng
andI'
m aski
ngyout
obemymai
dofhonour
"
Her:
"whoa!
stopwit
hthenonsense!
soy ou
dr
aggedmeal lt
hewayhome, conv
incedmeto
marryyouandnowthesuddenchangeofhear
t"
Me:
"sor
ryKhensanebut.
..
"
Her
:"
Jane!
takemeupst
air
snow"
Tsakane:
"I
'l
lhel
pyou"
Her
:"
leav
emeal
one.Go!
getout
"

Janetookherupst
air
sandwewenthome
conf
usedbyherbehaviour
.Weknowshedi
dn'
t
wantthi
ssoitwasallconf
usi
ng

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t25

Ni
co

Wegoti
nthebat
htubaf
tercomi
ngbackt
osee
Khensane

Me:
"youl
ookt
ense"
Her
:"
I'
mjustwor
ri
edaboutt
win"
Me:
"don'
twor
ryshe'
l
lbefi
ne.I
'
llcal
lher
t
omorrowwhenshe'
scool
eddown"
Her
:"
thanksbabe"
Me:"
howaboutweski
pthewholehy
giene
pr
ocessandyoul
etmehaveyou"
Her
:"
Ili
ket
hesoundoft
hat
"

Iki
ssedherandt
her
esti
shi
stor
y

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Ijustcan'tunderstandwhyTsakaneandNi co
thinktheycanj usttoywithmyfeel
ingsjustl
i
ke
thatbutitreall
ydoesn' tmat
ter
.Icall
edmy
mom.I tr
angf oral ongti
meshepr obabl
ywas
l
ooki ngforit

Her
:"
myl
ovel
ydaught
er"
Me:
"howar
eyou?
"
Her
:"
I'
m bl
essedandy
our
sel
f?"
Me:"I
'
m alsookayy
ouknow Ifeel
thatIhav
e
abandonedyouorsomet
hing"
Her
:"
IthoughtIwast
heonl
yone"
Me:
"Imi
ssy
oumamaandIl
ovey
ou"
Her:
"IknowandIl
oveyoumorebutI
'
m not
happyaboutMbathaget
ti
ngbot
hofyou"
Me:"don'
tworryaboutthatTsakaneandher
husbandactuall
yfixedthi
ngsandarever
y
happy.I'
m nolongerapart"
Her
:"
I'
m gl
adbecauseItal
kedtoyourfat
herand
t
ri
edtoreasonwi
thhim buthewouldn'
tl
ist
en"
Me:
"Iknowhowhar
dheadedhecanbe"
Her:
"Iwashopi
ngy
oucoul
dcomehomet
oheal
pr
operly
"
Me:"wellassoonasIt
akeaf
ewst
epsI
'
m
def
init
elycominghome"
Her
:"
takecar
emyl
ove"
Me:"
youal
sot
akecar
eoft
hatbeaut
if
ulsel
fof
your
sbye"

Ifel
tgoodaf
tertalki
ngtomymom.Wealso
tal
kedatl
eastthreeti
mesaweekandshe
al
way
scheer
edmeup.

JustasIwasabouttoputdownmyphoneI
noti
cedanothercal
lcomi
ngfrom Ni
co.Ir
oll
ed
myey esandpickedup

Me:
"whatdoy
ouwant
?"
Him:
"I'
mjusttr
yingtounderst
andwhyyouar
e
angr
ybecausey oudidn'
twanttomar
rymein
thef
ir
stplace"
Me:"
Idi
dn'
tbutwhybri
ngitup?
youknowwhat.
..
i
t'
sOKbecauseIdon'
tli
veyou"
Hi
m:"Iknowsouhm y
ou'l
lcont
actTsakane
whenyouneedsomethi
ng"
Me:
"okayt
hanks"
Hi
m:"
yousur
eyou'
l
lbef
ine?
"
Me:
"ofcour
senowi
fyoudon'
tmi
nd,
Ihav
eto
bebusy
"
Hi
m:"
under
standabl
eokayt
akecar
e"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwokeupf eel
i
ngsomehow, Iwasabi
tdrowsy
butIbrushedi
tof
fbecauseIneededt
ogett o
work.Nicohadal
readyl
eftf
orhismor
ningjog

Idi
dmywholehygi
eneprocess,l
oti
oned,
wore
oneofmydr
esses,hadbreakf
astandwentt
o
work
Ismil
edwhi l
esi
tt
ingi
nmyof fi
ce,
Ican'tbeli
eve
howblessedIam.Atextcamethrough,from
Nico'
thi
nkingofyoumylove'

Idecidedtodosomeshoppi ngduri
ngmylunch
break.Iboughtstuffthatwouldmaketoni
ght
unforget
tabl
e..
.scentedcandlesandbodyoil
etc.

WhenIwentbacktowor
kther
ewasn'
tmucht
o
dosoIquickl
ywr
appedupsomet
hingand
dr
ovetotwin

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwheel
edt
othel
i
vingr
oom andf
oundTsakane

Me:
"hey
"
Her
:"
hi"
Me:
"whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e?"
Her:
"Iwantedt
ocheckony
ousi
ncey
est
erday
youkickedusout"
Me:
"sor
ryaboutt
hat
"
Her:
"t
hat
'sunder
standabl
eImeani
t'
sli
kewe
ar
emessingwithyourhead"
Me:
"i
tsokay
"
Her
:"
guesswhatIboughtt
odayf
ormyman"
Me:
"what
?"

Sheshowedmet
hest
uffandi
twascl
eart
hat
theywer
egoi
ngt
ohav
ef un
Janecamehol
dingmyphone

Jane:
"Doct
orMbat
ha"
Her
:"
hiJane"
Jane:"
youlef
tyourphoneandi
thasbeen
ri
ngingforal
ongtime
Me:
"t
hanksJane"

Icheckedmyphoneandsawmi
ssedcal
l
sfr
om
Bonang, Mxol
i
siandMusa
Ismi
l
edatt
het
houghtofMusa
Her
:"
spi
titout
"
Me:"
wellther
e'st
hisguyI
'vebeenchat
ti
ngwi
th
ev
ersince.It
hinkIli
kehi
m"
Her
:"
gimmet
hedet
ail
s"
Mr
:"
noty
et.Idon'
twantt
ojeopar
diset
hings"
Her
:"
butI
'
llbef
ir
stt
oknowr
ight
?"
Me:
"def
ini
tel
y"

Shestayedf
orsomehoursunti
lherhusband
cal
ledthi
nki
ngshewaslostorsomething.She
wenthomeandIgotbacktoBonangt hen
savedMusaforl
ast

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Theweekswer emovingfastandWor kwas

pi
ll
edf ormeandmybeaut i
fulwifebutwe
fi
nal
lymadet i
meforeachot herandthe
pl
anningforourweddingwascomi ngtoget
her

Wewer
esi
tt
ingi
nthebedr
oom and
Imassagedherf
eetaf
tershehadal
ongdayat
wor
k

Her
:"
thanksf
orev
ery
thi
ngy
oudof
orme"
Me:
"t
hat
'swhathusbandsar
efor
"
Her
:"
Ican'
tbel
i
evehowt
hingshav
echanged"
Me:
"menei
therbuti
tiswhati
tis"
Her
:"
sowhatar
eyourpl
anspr
iort
othi
s
mar
ri
age"
Me:
"el
abor
ate"
Her:
"Imeanhowmanykidsdoyouwant?what
areourpl
ansashusbandandwi
fe?
stuf
fli
ke
that
"
Me:"
Ireal
lydon'
tthi
nkI'
mreadyt
ohav
echi
l
dren
buti
fitdoeshappenI'
l
lhappi
l
ycommit
"
Her:
"okaysoy
ouknowthatIhaveoncefaked
pr
egnancytotr
yandgetyourat
tent
ion?
"
Me:
"ofcour
seIdowhy
"
Her
:"
wel
lbecauseIr
eal
i
sedsomet
hing.
..
"

Myphonedi
stur
bed

Me:
"excusemeIhav
etot
aket
hisi
tsVanWy
k"
Her
:"
okay
"
Igotupandwal
kedt
othebal
cony

Me:
"VanWy
k"
Hi
m:"
how'
stheot
hert
wingoi
ng?
"
Me:
"why
?"
Him:"
justi
ntr
est
edIknowshe'sget
ti
ngbackto
herol
dselfsoIthoughtmay
beIcouldgetat
l
easthernumber"
Me:
"nowshe'
snotl
ooki
ngf
orar
elat
ionshi
p"
Hi
m:"
Iknow"
Me:
"pl
easel
eav
eheral
oneshe'
sbeent
hrougha
l
ot"
Hi
m:"y
ougonnapr
etendl
i
keInev
erdi
dany
f
avour
sfory
ou?"
Me:
"noi
tsj
ustt
hat.
..
"
Hi
m:"
sav
eit
"
HehungupandIt ri
edcall
i
nghim backbuthe
j
ustdidn'tpickup.Ilef
tadozenmessagesbut
hedidn'treply
.IknowKhensanei snotminebut
Iwon'tthrowheri nt
otheli
on'sden.VanWykis
aplayerandhashur tmanyladi
esandIcan'tl
et
thathappent oKhensaneespecial
lyaft
erwhat
she'sbeent hrough

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t26

Tsakane

Shanduwasoutjoggi
ngandIt ookthe
opport
uni
tytodothepregnancytest
.Isaton
thetoi
l
etseatwai
ti
ngforatleast5minutes
thenIl
ooked.Itwasposi
ti
veandf
oramoment
Ifel
tmyheartstop

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Icouldwalkoncr utchesbymy selfwit

houtany
hel
pf rom Jane.We'vebeenwor kingsohardto
getthi
sf ar
.Nor mall
ypeoplewoul dtakemonths
oryearstofullyhealbuthereIam slowly
gett
ingbetter.Iwaspr oudofmy sel
f

Thi
ngsbet
weenMusaandIar
est
art
ingt
oheat
upasweconst ant
lyspeak.Weevencal
leach
otherpetnamesbutheusesBaeorcupcake
fr
equently

Icheckedmyphonei mpati
ent
lybecauseI
knowhe' l
lcal
lanyti
mesoon,i
trangandI
smiled.Janechuckl
edandgavemesome
pri
vacy

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
hipr
ett
yface"
Me:
"howar
eyou?
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m goodt
hanksandy
our
sel
fcupcake?
"
Me:
"I
'mf
eel
i
nggoodnowt
haty
ouphoned"
Hi
m:"
Ihearphy
sioi
sgoi
ngwel
l
"
Me:
"i
tis"
:
Hi
m"someani
ngI
'
llbeabl
etot
akey
ouout
somet
ime?
"
Mr
:"
Iguess"
Him:
"I
'vegotmanysur
pri
sesf
oryou.Yousur
e
youdon'
twantmetocomeover"
Me:"
defi
nit
elynotnow,Iwantyout
oseeme
af
terIst
artwalki
ngproper
ly"
Hi
m: "
okayIwil
lnothol
dagrudgebutIdef
ini
tel
y
wi
llbecount
ingthedays"
Me:
"l
olgett
owor
kwe'
l
ltal
klat
er"
Hi
m:"
hav
eani
cedaycupcake"
Me:
"samet
oyouDoct
orBae"

Iheardhimlaughingbef
orehangi
ngupgoosh
hislaught
ermakesmef eelsoali
ve.It
hinki
t'
s
safetosaythatI'
mi nl
ove

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Havi
ngababyisn'
tchi
l
d'spl
ayespeci
all
ywhen
youar
easingl
eparent

Fi
nancial
ly,aki
dneedsthi
sandt hatever
ynow
andthen.Yesmoneycannotbuyloveand
happi
nessbutwel i
vei
ntherealworldwherea
chi
ldneedsfoodandclot
hes,medicati
onsand
al
lsothere'
snotimetospoi
lmy sel
f

Emot i
onal
ly,
thosesl
eepl
essni
ght
s,theFOMO,
thatst
resswhenyourchi
l
dissi
ckandhel
pless
youpraythatGodgiv
ey out
hosepai
nsi
nst
ead
nott
of or
getpostnatal
depr
essi
on

Physical
ly,I'
veseenacompletebody
change. .
.str
etchmarks,
saggi
ngboobs
,bulgi
ngtummy ,wei
ghtgai
nit'
sreal
l
ytoughbut
l
uckilyIworkfornoonesothere'
snowork
pressure

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Twi
nwasf
orev
eratmypl
acewi
thmehel
ping
herwi
ththepl answherev
erIcoul
d.Iwatched
herwal
kinginwhi l
eIwasatthekit
chenmaking
asmoothie,shewalkedinandsatononeofthe
hi
ghchairs

Me:
"wantsome?
"

Ir
efer
redt
othesmoot
hie
Her
:"
not
hanks"
Me:
"what
'sup?Youl
ookgl
oomy
"

Isatdownont hechai
rnextt
oherandgul
ped
mysmoot hi
e,shefrownedatme

Her
:"
I'
m pr
egnant
"
Me:
"noway
s"
Her
:"
yupIam"
Me:"
that
'sagoodt hing.wowammabe
someone'sauntyippee.Hav
eyout
houghtof
namesyet?thel
ikesofJadeorNal
awould...
."
Her
:"
stop!
stopi
t"
Me:
"STOPI
TILI
KEI
T!"

Ishoutedj oki
ngl
yimi t
ati
ngtheKFCadv ertbut
shedidn'tlaugh,i
nsteadshekeptagroomed
expressionsthatcaughtmyattent
ion.Iheldher
handsr eassuri
ngly

Her
:"
I'
m notsur
ewhot
hef
atheri
s"
Shestar
tedcr
yingandIl
i
mpedof
fmychai
rsoI
coul
dholdher
.

Me:
"Tsakanedon'
tpani
c"
Her
:"
howcanInotpani
cwhenI
'
m pr
egnant
wi
thoutknowi
ngwhot
hef
atheri
s?"
Mr
:"
ther
ear
eDNAt
est
sthatcanbedone"
Her:
"Iknowt
hehi
ghr
iskofdoi
ngt
hatwhi
l
e
pr
egnant"
Me:
"howmanyweeksar
eyou?
"
Her
:"
12-
14weeks,
Ihav
en'
tgonet
othegy
nae"
Me:
"andwhendi
dyousl
eepwi
tht
heot
herguy
"
Her
:"
immediatel
yaf
tersl
eepi
ngwi
thNi
cot
hat
'
s
soi
rrel
evant
"
Me:
"i
tsnot
"
Her:
"i
tisbecausei
thappenedatthesamet
ime
andIwasst upi
dnott
ousepr ot
ecti
on"
Me:
"youar
emanyt
hingsbutst
upi
disn'
toneof
t
hem"
Her
:"
I'
m sost
ressed"
Me:"
don'
tbe.Yougotmeandi t
'smyturnt
odo
somethi
ngforyoubecausey
ou'vedoneso
muchf
orme.Ababyi
sabl
essi
ng"
Her:
"t
hanksf
ormaki
ngmef
eel
li
keI
'
m notso
st
upid"
Me:
"youar
enot
"
Her
:"
okayseey
out
omor
row"
Me:
"av
oidst
ressi
ng"

ShegotupandwehuggedthenIaccompanied
hertot
hecar.
ShehadtogotoworkandI
stay
edhomedr awi
ngsomestr
ategi
esforher

°
°
°
°
Bonang

Iwasawokenbyvoi
cesout
sidemy
door
step,
seemsl
i
keit'
sJandKemiset
so.

Theysoundedli
kethey'r
ehavinganar
gument
wit
hsomeone.BabyRemohadmeupal l
night
andhasbeencryingthewholedaysoImust
havefal
l
enasleepwhi l
erocki
ngher

Igent
lywenttoputheri
nhercri
bandwentt
o
checkthecommotionout
side.IsawKemmy
andJswear i
ngatahobo-l
ooki
ngMxoli
si

Me:
"guy
sit
'sokayI
'
vegott
his"
J:
"nohewasj
ustonhi
swayout
"
Me:
"i
t'
sokayy
oucangoi
n"
Kemmy
:"we'
l
lber
ightbehi
ndt
hedoorsi
s"
J:
"yeahi
fhet
ri
esany
thi
ngwe'
l
l..
."
Me:
"Isai
dIgott
his"

Theywenti
nsi
deandIf
oldedmyar
msf
orhi
m
tospeak

Him:"
lookIcametoseeifIcoul
dhel
pwi
th
anyt
hingregar
dingt
hisbaby"
Me:
"t
her
e'snot
hingy
oucanof
fer
"
Hi
m: "
pleasedon'
tdepr
ivemeachancet
obea
f
ather"
Me:
"l
astti
meIcheckedyouwant
ednot
hingt
o
dowi
ththepr
egnancy"
Hi
m: "Idi
dn'
tbutnowbecauset
hebabyis
al
readyhereIaskedmysel
f,whynotst
artbei
ng
afather?
"
Me:
"you'
reaj
ail
bir
d,youwereconv
ictedf
or
r
ape.Howam Isupposedtotr
ustyou"
Hi
m:"
I'
vechanged"
Me:"
yeahsotheysay,It
hinkit
'sbestyouleav
e
andnevercomeback.Idon'tf
eelsafearound
you"

Heputonthatl
ookheal
way
sgotmewi
thbut
nott
hist
ime

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t27

Ni
co
VanWy kisreall
ygivi
ngmeahar dti
meby
wantingKhensaneandIr efusetoswal
lowthe
bit
terpil
l
.IarrangedaPItodi gsomedirtt
hatI
canuseagai nsthim.Ir
efusetobebull
i
edby
VanWy k

Iwenthomeandwor kedinmyoffi
ce,af
ter
wrappingupsomewor kIwentt
othebedroom
torestabitbef
oremynextmeeti
ng

°
°
°
°

Khensane
Iwassi tt
ingont heedgeofthebedaf t
er
tr
ainingwi t
hJanewhohadgonet otheki t
chen
tomakeusashake.MyphonebeepedandI
quicklysnatcheditfrom t
hedrawer
,itwas
Musa' can'teatorsleepthi
nki
ngaboutmy
beautiful
cupcake' hehadaheartemojithat
mademyhear tdance

Thephonei
nmyhandr
angandIj
ustanswer
ed
wit
houtl
ooki
ng

Me:
"cupcakeI
'
m al
sot
hinki
ngofy
ou"
Her
:"
excuseme?
"
Me:
"uhm hi
"
Her
:"
canIspeakt
oKhensaneMal
uleka"
Me:
"youar
espeaki
ngt
oher
"
Her:
"t
hisisAyandaShezi
ofDi
amondFM andI
'
d
l
iketoint
ervi
ewy ou"
Me:
"ani
nter
view?About
"
Her
:"
yourcar
eerandy
ourl
i
fe"
Me:
"uhm okay
"
Her:
"sorr
ytot el
li
nsuchnot i
cebutweneedyou
asourFridayedit
ion.Ourcel
ebr
it
yguesthas
cancel
ledlastminute"
Me:
"butFr
idayi
stomor
row"
Her:
"yur
p,cany
oumakei
ttoourst
udi
osby
2pm?"
Me:
"It
hinkIcan"
Her
:"
Iwanty
out
obesur
e"
Me:
"yesI
'
llbet
her
e"
Her
:"t
hankyousomuch.Looki
ngf
orwar
dto
hav
ingyou"
Me:
"mypl
easur
e"

Ihungupandscr
eamedi
nexci
tement
.May
be
mycareerwasn'tov
eratal
l
.Janer
ushedi
n
hol
dingtheshakes

Her
:"
youscr
amed"
Me:
"Idi
d"
Her
:"
why
?"
Me:"becausethispersonyouarel
ooki
ngati
s
havi
ngar adiointer
viewtomorr
owwith
DiamondFM"
Her
:"
tomor
row?ar
eyousur
eaboutt
hat
?"
Me:
"yeboy
essohel
pmechooseanout
fi
t"
Her
:"
okay
"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwasweepingatt hebat
htub,If
eltmiser
abl
e.
Imaginenotknowingthefat
herofyourunbor
n
baby.Ispl
ashedthewateronmybodyand
cri
edsomemor e

Hi
m:"
what
'swr
ongl
ovel
i
fe?
"

Irai
sedmyheadt oseeNi cost
anding,hol
ding
hi
shipsdramati
call
y.Ididn'
tevenherehim
comein.Ispl
ashedwat eronmyf acetogetri
d
ofthetear
yeyes

Me:
"myoneandonl
yhusband"
Hi
m:"
youwer
ecr
ying"
Me:
"noIwasn'
t"
Hi
m:"
IknowwhatIsaw"
Me:"
itmustbet
ear
sofj
oybecauseI
'
mthi
nki
ng
ofus"
Hi
m:"
real
l
y?"
Me:"
yesandIcheckedwit
htwinandthe
cer
emonyiscomingtoget
hernicel
y"

Hesatonthetoi
l
etseat
,itwascl
earthathe
di
dn'
tbel
ievemebuthechosetoignore

Hi
m:"
Ithoughty
ouwer
eatwor
k"
Me:
"noIdeci
dedt
onotgobecauseIhav
etof
it
mydress"
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
tknow"
Me:
"Ij
ustdeci
dedanhourback"
Him:
"okayl
ove.I
'
vegotaf
ewmi
nut
est
ospar
e
socanwe...
"
Me:
"nonotnowI
'
m sor
ry"
Him:
"Isee...uhm soI
'
llbel
atet
oni
ght
'
sso
don'
twaitup"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lwai
t"
Him:"
y oudon'thavet
o.I'
m sur
eaf
tert
he
meetingwe'll
hav eafewdri
nkspl
usVanWy
k
askedt oseeme"
Me:
"okaymay
beI
'
llpassoutwai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"
Hi
m: "
letmet
aket
heshowersi
ncey
ouar
e
r
efusi
ngagoodti
me"

Ismil
edsheepishl
yandhekissedmyfor
ehead.
Hegoti nt
heshowerandIgotoutoft
hetub,
rel
easedthepropandwenti
nsidemywalkin
wardrobetof
indsomethi
ngcomf y
°
°
°
°

Bonang

BabyRemoi sajobandhalf.Shejustkeepson
cry
ingnonstopwhenevershe'swithme.NowI
wast r
yingt
obreast
feedherwhileshe
screamedontopofherlungs

Me:
"ohshutupRemo!
"

Inearl
ythr
ewheragainstt
hewall.Kemi
set
so
rushedtosnat
chherawayfrom me
Her
:"
howcoul
dyoushoutatababy
?"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryIj
ustl
osti
t"
Her
:"
I'
vebeenwat
chi
ngy
ouev
eryday
.Youar
e
i
mpati
entwit
hRemo"
Me:
"Ij
ustcan'
tst
andi
twhenshescr
eams"
Her:
"she'
sababyBonang,ababyyoubrought
i
ntothiswor
ld.I
nnocentsoul
thati
sjustas
conf
used"
Me:
"yeahIguess"

Shesangalull
abyandRemowasf astasl
eep.
Aft
erput
tingheri
nhercri
bshesatnexttome
wit
hherlaptop

Her
:"
let
'sl
ookatRai
singbabi
esupt
heI
nter
net
"
Me:
"t
her
e'snost
udygui
def
orpar
ent
ing"
Her
:"
yesbutt
her
ear
egui
del
i
nesf
rom
exper
iencedmoms"
Me:
"okaymommy
"
Her
:"
I'
ll
slapy
ou"

Wel ookedupsomepar ent

ingguidesandi
twas
reall
yint
erest
ing.If
oundmy sel
fgluedt
othe
screenwhileshemadeussomef ood

Idon'tknowwhenKemi set
sobecamesuchan
expertbutIreal
l
yfounduseful
inf
ormat
ionI
couldapply

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Sorr
yit
'sshor
tandlat
ebutIcouldn'
tfind
enoughti
metowrit
eaf r
uit
ful
insertandedi
t
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t28

Khensane

Iwassoexcit
edabouttoday'
sint
erv
iewandI
st
oodlooki
ngatmyselfinthemir
ror

Me:"ohyesthankyou.Il
oveyoufans.I'
l
lbe
workingonanalbum butImightr
eleaseahit
si
ngle.Il
oveyouIloveyou.Yes"

Ideci
dedt
ocal
ltwi
n

Me:
"babe"
Her
:"
hi"
Me:
"pl
easet
rytosoundcheer
ful
,I
'v
eor
gani
sed
f
oryoutodothet
esttomorr
ow"
Her
:"
saywhat
?"
Me:"
yeahsoIdi dsomeresearchandtal
kedto
myboy f
riend,al
lyouhav
et odoiscomewith
hi
stoothbrushorsomethingtomyhousethen
we'
lldoitpriv
atel
y"
Her
:"
thanky
oumt
asey
out
hebest
"
Me:
"yesbecauseIknowyouwoul
dn'
twantt
o
doi
tatyourworkpl
ace"
Her:
"ofcoursey
ouknowhownoseyt
hese
peopleare"
Me:
"socheerupandt
unei
ntoDi
amondFM"
Her
:"
pleasesendmeabi
gshoutout
"
Me:
"wi
l
ldosobestoneby
efornow

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Motherhoodisbeauti
ful
butt
ir
ing,t
oday
Kemisetsowasatcampuswr i
ti
ngandIwas
al
onewi thbabyRemo.Shewasi nhercr
ib
movingherlegsthi
swayandthatwaywhi l
eI
wascooki ng

Ihear
dasoftknockandwipedmyhandsto
openthedoor
.Mxoli
siwasstandi
ngt
hereandI
wonderwhyhe'sev
enout

Me:
"whatdoy
ouwant
?"
Hi
m:"Icomei
npeace.Ij
ustwant
edt
ogi
vey
ou
t
hese"

Il
ookedatthepl
ast
icbagst
hatwer
e
sur
roundi
nghim

Me:
"Idon'
twanty
ourdonat
ions"
Hi
m:"
Ijustneedf
ivemi
nut
est
oseet
hebaby
t
henI
'l
lleave"

Ithoughtforawhil
ethenl
ethi
minprayi
ngI
don'tr
egretit
.HesatdownandIf
etchedRemo
andsatpar al
l
elt
ohim

Me:
"hernamei
sRemo"
Hi
m:"
ohcanIhol
dher
?"
Me:
"sur
e"
Iwashesi
tantbutl
ethim.Myhear
tmeltedat
thewayheheldher,i
twasli
kehewastail
or
madeforit
.Heplayedwit
hherandshegiggl
ed
thewaysheneverdidwhenwit
hme

Fewminut
esl
atershewasf
astasl
eepi
nhi
s
arms

Me:
"l
etmeputherdown"
Hi
m:"
she'
ssoador
abl
e"

Iwenttoputdownthesl
eepi
ngbeautyand
cameback.HestoodupandIwalkedhimto
thedoor

Me:
"she'
sgoty
ourl
i
ps"
Hi
m:"
andy
ourey
es"
Me:
"she'
sal
sogotanamazi
ngsmi
l
e"
Him:"
Inot
iced.Uhm l
etmeknowwhat
evershe
needs"
Me:
"okayIwi
l
lthi
nkabouti
t"
Hi
m:"
thanksf
orl
ett
ingmehav
ethatmoment
"
Me:
"don'
tgett
oocomf
ort
abl
eby
e"

Hewav
edt
hendi
sappear
ed.

°
°
°
°

Khensane
Janedidn'
tl
iket
heideaofmegoi
ngtothi
s
i
nter
view.Shedrov
emet her
einasourmood

Me:"y
oucanatl
eastpr
etendt
obehappyf
orme
Jane"
Her
:"
Ijustdon'
tfeel
rightaboutt
his"
Me:"yesyou'
vetol
dmeathousandt
imesbut
I
'm excit
edaboutthi
s"
Her
:"whatift
hisAy
andaShezi
isr
elat
edt
oyour
boy
friend?
"
Me:"MusaShezi
?lol
nogir
lcomeonhowmany
peopleshar
esurnames?
"
Her
:"
okaywe'
vear
ri
ved"
Me:
"t
hanksf
ort
aki
ngmeher
e"
Her
:"
pleasur
e"
Igotoutandtookmycr
utchesbutshe
r
emainedstat
ioner
y

Me:
"ar
en'
tyoucomi
ngwi
th?
"
Jane:
"noI
'
lll
i
stenf
rom t
hecar"

Janewasbei
ngdr
amat
icnow

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwassor
eli
evedaf
tert
alki
ngt
otwi
nandIknow
shewon'
tgetmeafl
ybynightdoct
or.Musa
cameint
omyoffi
ce,
putdownsomef il
esonmy
tabl
e

Hi
m:"
Ineedt
hem i
nanhour
"
Me:
"gr
eet
ingwi
l
lnev
erki
l
lyou"
Hi
m:"
andIcar
ebecause?
"
Me:"
I'
m sorrybutIwon'tbeabl
et ofi
nish
wi
thoutanhour .Ri
ghtnowI'm goi
ngtodomy
wardrout
ines"
Hi
m:"
it
'sani
nst
ruct
ion"
Me:
"j
ustbecauseyourf
atherownst
hishospi
tal
i
tdoesn'
tmeany oucanordermearound"
Hi
m:"
Iam y
ourseni
or"
Me:
"shoul
dhav
ethoughtoft
hatbef
orej
umpi
ng
onmybed"
Hi
m:"
wecoul
dgor
oundi
nci
rcl
esi
fyoul
i
kebut
factremainsthatI
'm col
l
ecti
ngt hosefi
l
esi
nan
hour.Ifnott
hey'l
lbeseri
oustrouble"
Me:
"goandhavesomef
undul
lJack,
li
stent
o
Ay
andaint
erv
iewi
ngmytwi
n"
Hi
m:"
whi
chAy
anda"
Me:
"l
oly
ourAy
anda"
Hi
m:"
what
ever
"

Hestormedoffmyoff
iceandItur
nedonmy
radi
o.Shezi
thi
nkshecanwalkoverj
ustabout
anyoneandgetawaywit
hmur der

°
°
°
°
Khensane

Igoti
ntost
udioafewminut
esbefor
eair
ingand
Ayandawel
comedmewar mly.Wegotsome
dri
nksandIputonmyheadset

Her:
"I
'm sor
ryfornotdoi
ngapr
eint
erv
iewwi
th
youit
sjustthatt
imewasnotonmysite"
Me:
"i
t'
sokayI
'
m soexci
ted"
Her:
"okaysowear ebackfrom t
headbreakand
l
ikeIpromi sedwehav eourcel
ebri
tyguesther
e
i
nstudi o.Shegoesbyt henameofKhensane
Malulekabuty oual
lknowheras
CANCER! !
Khensanewelcome"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou.Hel
l
oli
stener
s"
Her
:"nowbafet
huourl
ovel
yCancerislooki
ng
asbeauti
ful
asever
,what'
syoursecr
et?"
Me:
"Ij
ustdr
inkal
otofwat
ert
hat
'
sal
l
"
Her:
"soIhavet
enquesti
onsfory
ouregar
ding
yourmusiccar
eer
,per
sonalchoi
cesandwhat
t
hef ut
urehol
ds"
Me:
"okayt
henshoot
"
Her:
"dearl
ist
enery
ouarewelcometocal
luson
012*****f
ornowhere'
sCancerwi
thDreams"

Sheplay
edoneofmysongsandaf
tert
hatwe
wentbackonai
r

Her:
"sowhenar
eyour
eleasi
nganot
herhi
t
si
ngleoral
bum?"
Me:"
unfort
unat
elyIwon'
tber
eleasi
ngany
thi
ng
t
hisyear"
Her
:"
okaydar
eIaskwhy
?"
Me:
"pl
easedon'
t"
Her
:"
WhataboutXoxopr
oduct
ion,
theone
ownedbyMxoli
siwhohappenedt
obey
our
musicpr
oducer
?"
Me:
"whatabouti
t?"
Her
:"
Whywoul
dyoudat
eyourboss?
"
Me:
"per
sonal
choi
ce"
Her
:"
Appar
ent
lyhe'
syourBFF'
sbabydaddy
"
Me:
"yeahso?
"
Her
:"
areyouromant
ical
l
yinv
olv
edwi
thy
our
t
win'
shusband?"
Me:
"nowhywoul
dyout
hinkt
hat
?"
Her
:"
theev
entt
hatt
ookpl
aceatt
heVanWy
k's"
Me:
"Iwasj
usthi
sdat
e"
Her
:"
Whydi
dyout
ryt
ocommi
tsui
cide?
"
Me:
"i
t'
sal
ongst
ory
"
Her
:"
areyousureMxol
i
sir
apedy ouorwer
ey ou
j
ustbi
tt
erbecausehei
mpregnat
edyourfr
iend?
"
Me:"
youknowwhatIwon'
thav
ethi
s
humil
iat
ion"

It
ookof
fmyheadsetf
uri
ousl
yandgotup

Her:
"youarefr
eetocall
andaskmorequestions
becauseKhensanewil
lsti
ll
bei
nstudi
of ort
he
nexttwent
ymi nut
es.Here'
sMi
tchel
lJackson
wit
hWhyenj oy"

Themi nuteshewenttoanadbr
eakIwentt
o
herandslappedher,
herweavef
ell
off
.The
guardsrushedtousandheldme

Me:"
nextti
mey ouhumi
l
iat
emel
i
ket
hatIswear
I
'l
lmurderyou"
Shelookedfri
ghtened,
Itookmycrut
chesand
wentout.Janewaswai ti
ngformeatthecar
l
ookingconcerned

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

29

Tsakane

Iheardwhathappenedont her
adio.This
Ay andahadanervetoasksuchquestions.I
fi
nisheddoingmyroundsandattendedtot he
fi
lesbroughtbySheziear
li
er

Heent
eredi
ntomyof
fi
ceagai
n
Me:
"r
espectot
herpeopl
e'
sof
fi
cespl
ease"
Hi
m:"
fi
les"
Me:
"I
'v
ejustst
art
ed"
Him:"
soyoudi
dn'
twor
kont
hosef
il
esj
ustt
o
spi
teatme?"
Me:
"noI
'
m notev
ill
i
key
ou.Ij
ustdi
dn'
thav
e
t
ime"
Hi
m: "
I'
m goi
ngtohav
etohav
eawor
dwi
thmy
f
atheraboutt
his"
Me:
"goaheadandr
unt
odaddy
"

Helookedatmefuriousl
yandcli
ckedhis
t
ongueslammingthedoorbehindhim .I
l
aughedathisst
upidit
y

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iswi
tchedofft
heradi
o,t
hispr
esenterisr
ude
andi
tlookedli
keshewasonami ssionto
humi
liat
eKhensane

Iquickl
ydi al
edhernumberbutherphonerang
unanswer ed.Mypoorfri
endmustbegoi ng
thr
ought hemostandIsentherav oi
ce
messaget el
l
ingherhowmuchIcare

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Me:"
goahead.Shoutatmeandsayy
out
oldme
so"

Igotint
othecarandwaitedforhert
ostar
t
screamingatme.Shedidn'
t,
shejustst
art
ed
theigni
ti
onanddrove.

Her
:"
Iwi
l
ldonosucht
hing"
Me:
"youhav
etobecausey
ouwar
nedme"
Her
:"
Ijustdi
dn'
thav
eagoodf
eel
i
ngaboutt
his
t
hat'
sall
"
Me:
"whydi
dshehav
etoopensuchwounds?
"
Her:
"she'
sevil
.Pr
obabl
yahat
erdet
ermi
nedt
o
br
ingy oudown"
Mr
:"
butwhy
?"
Her:
"wedon'
tknowhunbutkar
mawi
l
ldef
ini
tel
y
dealwi
thher
"
Me:
"If
eel
somi
ser
abl
e"
Her
:"
it
'sokaydon'
twor
ryy
ou'
l
lbef
ine"

Shewentt
oKFC'
sdr i
vethr
uandgotmesome
hotwi
ngsandmi
lkshake

Me:
"ncoht
hanksJane,
youar
esuchadar
li
ng"
Her
:"
myj
obi
stot
akecar
eofy
ou"

IgaveherahugandsheplayedCi
ara'
slev
elup.
Itur
nedupthevol
umeandsangoutl oudwhi
le
shewasdroveattopspeed
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Icamebackfrom worksupert
ir
ed.Shandu
wasn'
thomesoIt ookanicebathandtri
ed
cal
li
ngt wi
nbuttonoavail
.Idugoutsome
over
sizedshi
rtandsi
mplepants

IknowtwinhashadabaddaybutI 'm def

ini
tel
y
goingt
oherplace.Ipackedanoverni
ghtbag
andShandu'
stoothbrush.Idon'
tknowwhyI
wassof r
eakedoutaboutthiswhol
ething
°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwasbusyday
dreami
ngaboutt
heevent
sthat
tookpl
aceawhil
eagowhenKemiset
sogoti
n

Her:
"ear
tht
omamaRemo,
can'
tyouheart
hat
she'
sawake"
Me:
"ohsor
ry"

Igotupf
rom wher
eIwassi
tt
ingbutshequi
ckl
y
passedme

Her
:"
don'
twor
ryIgott
his"

Shewentt
otheroom t
of et
chRemo.Ishout
ed
fr
om t
heki
tchenwhi
ledishi
ngup

Me:
"howwasy
ourt
est
?"
Her
:"
yoohdon'
task.I
t'
sli
keIhav
en'
tst
udi
ed"
Me:"
don'
tst
ressy
our
sel
fyouknowy
ouwor
k
har
d"
Her
:"
yeahIguess.YoohRemohasmessedup.
Wherear
ethewipes?"
Me:
"I
'l
lgett
hem f
ory
ou"

Iwalkedi
ntheroom andsawt
hatshehad
not
icedthepl
asti
cbags
Her
:"
andt
hese?
thoughtwewer
esav
ing"
Me:
"wear
ethosewer
ebr
oughtbyMxol
i
si"

Thelookshegavemewasf ier
ce.Shewas
abouttospeakwhenherphonerangbacki
nthe
ki
tchensoshehadtodash

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Idr
ovet
oseeKhensaneaf
terhear
inghowher
i
nter
est
edwentsout
h.Ifoundherinbedcr
ying.
Shesawmeandfell
int
omyembr ace

Me:
"I
'm sosor
ryy
ouhadt
ogot
hrought
hat
"
Her
:"
it
'sal
lmyf
aul
t"
Me:
"youdi
dn'
tknowshewasgoi
ngt
odot
hat
"
Her:
"Janedi
dn'
tthi
nki
twasagoodi
deabutst
il
l
Iwentahead"
Me:
"st
opbl
ami
ngy
our
sel
f"
Her
:"
can'
thel
pit
"

Myhear
tbr
okehear
inghercr
yliket
hat
.Jane
wal
kedi
nandgaveusaweirdlook

Me:
"canIhel
pyou?
"
Jane:
"uhm t
hepol
i
cear
eher
e"
Her
:"
pol
i
ce?
"
Me:
"whatdot
heywant
?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowt
heywantt
oseeKhensane"

Khensaneputonhergownandsl
eeper
sandwe
wenttothetwooff
icer
s

Me:
"hi
off
icer
showcanwehel
p?"
Of
fi
cer
:"
wear
eher
eforCancer
"
Her
:"
that
'sme"
offi
cer:"
KhensaneMal ul
ekay ouareunderar
rest
forassaulti
ngMissAy andaShezi .Youhavethe
ri
ghtt oremainsi
lent
,any thingyousayshall
and
willbeusedagainstyoui nthehouseoft hel
aw.
Youhav ear i
ghttoanat torneyandifyoucan't
affordonethestatewillprov i
deyouwithone"
Theyhandcuf
fedherandl
edhert
owar
dst
he
vehi
cl
e

Me:"
bat
hong!
thi
sismadnessKhensanewoul
d
nev
erhurtaf
ly"
Her
:"
it
'sokayNi
co"
Me:
"I
'mri
ghtbehi
ndy
ou.I
'
m cal
l
ingy
oua
l
awyer
"

Iwentbackinsi
dethehousetotakemyphone
andkeysthenfoll
owedthem t
othestat
ion.I
cal
ledalawyerthencal
l
edTsakane

Her:
"heyIwasabouttocallyou..
.uhm I
'm
sl
eepingbytwi
n'
spl acebecauseIthi
nkshe
needsmysupport.Herint
erviewwentbad"
Me:"
twi
nhasj
ustbeenar
rest
edI
'
m dr
ivi
ngt
her
e
now"
Her
:"
what
?no"
Me:"
can'
tgi
vey
out
hedet
ail
snowbutI
'
llkeep
youpost
ed"
Her
:"
wher
e..
."

Ihungup.Iknowshe'
llwor
rybutIdon'
twant
hercomingtothepol
i
cestati
onandstressi
ng.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t30

Khensane

Ihav
ebeeni
nhol
dingcel
l
sfort
hewhol
e
weekend.IknowNi
cohasbeent
ryi
nghi
sbest
t
ogetmeout

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Isatdownwor kingonmyl apt

opbutIcouldn'
t
concentr
ate.AlothashappenedandIcouldn'
t
dothetestasy etbecausemytwinhasbeen
l
ockedupf orslappingsomerudepresent
er.I
hadforgott
enhowKhensanei sthe'no
nonsense'tol
arater.Shewasthatonewho
wouldgoar oundhitti
ngpeopl
e
Icall
edNicobecauseIcoul
dn'tt
hinkof
anythi
ngbett
ertodo.Itwasthe50thti
meI
cal
led

Hi
m:"
wif
ey"
Me:
"how'
sshe?
"
Hi
m:"
Igotheroutbuti
t'
snotl
ooki
nggood"
Me:
"t
ell
hert
hatIcan'
tcomeseeher
"
Hi
m:"
Iwi
l
l"
Me:
"pl
easekeephercompany
"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
trybutshe'
sgotJane"

Ihear
dabeepi nf
ormi
ngmeofupdat
esan
oncomingcal
l
Me:
"I
'l
lthi
nkt
her
e'sacal
lcomi
ngt
hrough"
Hi
m:"
seey
ouathomet
hen"

Ianswer
edt
heot
hercal
l

Me:
"f
ather
"
Hi
m:"
daught
er"
Me:
"howcanIbeofassi
stance?
"
Hi
m:"
sti
l
langr
yatme?
"
Me:"
youwantedmyhusbandt
omar
ry
Khensane"
Hi
m:"
yousl
ackedony
ourwi
fel
ydut
ies"
Me:"
ohandshewoul
dmakewoul
dmakea
goodwi
fe?"
Hi
m:"
probabl
ybet
ter
"
Me:
"Ican'
tbel
i
evemyownear
s"
Hi
m:"
butI
'
m sor
ryf
ordoubt
ingy
ou"
Me:"
yeahyoushoul
dbebecausef
rom nowI
'
m
br
ingi
ngnothi
ngbutthebest
"
Me:
"Iseenowi
fyoudon'
tmi
nd"
Hi
m:"we'
l
ltal
ksomeothert
imecozi
t'
scl
ear
t
hatnowisnotagoodti
me"
Me:
"yesby
e"

Ihungupi
rr
it
ated,
I'
vehadi
twi
thf
ather

°
°
°
°

Bonang
Iwaswor r
iedaboutaboutKhensane,
shei
sn'
t
taki
ngmycal l
sorrespondi
ngtomymessages
plusshe'
sbeenoffl
inefort
heweekendwhichi
s
highl
yunl
ikel
y

Ifi
nishedbathingRemoandputonhernew
cl
othesthenplay edwi
thheronthebed.Whil
e
wewer ebusy ,
Kemmycamei nandsatonthe
edgeoft hebed.Shedidn'
tsayanyt
hing

Me:
"howwasschool
?"
Her
:"
fi
ne"
Me:
"whyar
eyouangr
y?"
Her:
"howcomeMxol
i
sibuy
sst
uffandy
ou
acceptt
hem?"
Me:
"uhm becauseweneedt
hosest
uff
"
Her
:"
soyouarel
ett
inghi
m backi
ntoy
ourl
i
fe
j
ustl
iket
hat
?"
Me:
"meani
ng?
"
Her:
"needIremi
ndy
ouhowhe'
snotf
itt
obe
ar
oundus? "
Me:
"ohpl
easeKemmyI
'
m noti
nthemood"
Her:"
hewasjai
ledf
orr
apeandassaul
t,he'
s
suddenl
yout
.Youstol
ehi
mf r
om yourbest
fr
iendand..
."
Me:"ohshutupKemi
set
so!
I'
mti
redofy
our
di
srespect
"
Her
:"
tr
uthhur
ts"

Idi
smissedherfrom myr oom bef
oreIdo
somet
hingI'
ll
regret.Remosensedt hetensi
on
andst
artedcry
ing.Ipickedherupandhushed
her
Me: hushli
tt
lebaby
,hushl
it
tl
eonecoz
mommy '
sgonnabuyyouateddybear

Isangunti
lshelookedatthemewi t
hsmi zi
ng
eyes.Iknowallthethi
ngsMxoli
sididbutI'
ve
alsoseenhowhe' swastowar
dsRemo, at i
ny
chancewon'thurt.

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

JaneandIwatchedhelplessl
yathergul
ping
downthebrandysheforcedmet obuy.
Me:
"goeasy
"
Her
:"
leav
emeal
one"
Me:
*si
gh*
"Janet
alkt
oher
"
Jane:
"okayIt
hinky
ou'
vehadenoughal
ready
"
Her
:"
justone'
smor
e"
Me:
"no"
Her
:"
Ispentt
heweekendatt
hathor
ri
blecel
l
"
Me:
"yesandImakesur
eyouar
eoutr
ight
"

Shest
art
edcr
ying

Her
:"
Mxoli
sirapedme.Hefor
cedhi
msel
fonme,
t
hat'
ssomethingI
'l
lnev
erf
orget
"
Jane:
"okayI
'
m gi
vi
nghersl
eepi
ngpi
l
ls"
Me:
"pl
ease"
Shewentt ogetthepil
l
sandIfel
tmybloodboi
l.
Shehasnev err
eall
ybeenopenaboutt
herape
andIcouldn'
timaginewhatshe'
dmustbe
goi
ngthrough

Janecamebackandgaveherthepi
l
lswhil
e
shetol
duswhathappened.I
twasapai
nful
stor
y

°
°
°
°

Khensane
Iwokeupont hecoucht
oat er
ri
bleheadache,
al
lIrememberiscryi
ngandtel
li
ngNicoand
Janemyst or
y.Someonehadcoveredmewi tha
minkblanket

Isawmycr ut
chesjustafewcent
imet
resaway
from mesoIdeci
dedt ot
akeachancetowal
k
towardst
hem

Imov edmyl egsandtheymov ed.Sl

owlybut
surel
yImadei tt
othecrutches.Iscreamed
l
oudlyf orJanebutshedidn'tr
espond.Imadea
secondat temptandwalkedhal f
waytowards
theki
t chenbefor
estumblingandf al
li
ng

Igotupandatt
emptedagai
nunt
ilIr
eachedmy
phonethenqui
ckl
ydial
edmymother'
snumber
Her
:"
Khensanear
eyouokay
"
Me:
"mom Icanwal
k"
Her
:"
what
?"
Me:
"Icanwal
kmommy
!Iam wal
ki
ng!
"
Her:
"oht
hankGodmybabyI
'
vebeenpr
ayi
ng
dayandni
ghtf
oryou"
Me:
"I
'm soexci
ted"

Ist
art
edcr
yingoutofj
oyandJanewal
kedi
n

Her
:"
what
'
swr
ong?
"
Me:"mom I
'l
lcal
lyoulat
er.Janecan'
tyousee
I
'm notl
eani
ngoncr ut
ches?"
Jane:
"OMG"
ME:
"yi
ppee"
Jane:
"I
'v
etr
ainedsomanypeopl
ebuty
ou,
you
surpr
isemeev
erydaywi
tht
hatspeedy
recov
ery"
Me:
"maybet
hat
'sGod'
ssi
gnshowi
ngmet
hat
He'
sher
e"
Jane:
"It
otal
l
yagr
ee"
Me:
"weshoul
dcel
ebr
ate"

Ical
ledmytwi
nandmyf r
iendsi
nfor
mingt
hem
aboutamir
acl
ethatj
ustt
oolspl
ace

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Ranoutofdatabefor
eIcoul
dpostyourbonus
butwi
lldef
ini
tel
ymakeitupt
oy ou

Al
l
owmet
ospi
cet
hingsup
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
 LUNCHBONUS

I
nser
t31

Tsakane

Ihadjustgothomefrom wor
kt i
redashell
,I
tookref
ugeeonthecouchandt ookoffmy
shoes.Nicocameinsi
defrom hi
smor ni
ngjog

Hi
m:"
ohheywi
fey
"
Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
youl
ookt
ir
ed"
Me:
"Iam t
ir
edandhungr
y"
Hi
m:"
Iwoul
dwor
kmymagi
cony
ourbodybut
thenunfor
tunat
elyIhav
etobeatwor
kin2
hours"
Me:
"meet
ing?
"
Hi
m: "
yeahy
ouknowpl
usy
ourt
winhasbeen
cr
ying"
Me:"
we'
l
lvi
sitheraf
terworki
fy oudon'
tmind
I
'v
egotsomepaperworktofi
nishthenI
'm of
f"
Hi
m:"
youar
egoi
ngbackt
her
e?"
Me:
"yeahIonl
ycamet
oshower
"
Hi
m:"
let
'sgoupst
air
stoget
hert
hen.Imi
ssy
ou"

Helickedhisl
i
psandspankedmeasIgotup.
Workhasmadei tal
mostimpossibleforust
o
makel ovesoi
twasagoodi dea.Myphone
di
sturbedusashecarri
edmeupst air
s.I
answeredwhil
eheplantedki
ssesonmyneck
Me:
"Doct
orMbat
hahel
l
o"
Her:
"bat
hongwherehav
eyoubeenIl
efty
oua
dozenmissedcal
l
s"
Me:
"ohI
'
m sor
ryt
winwhat
'
sup?
"
Her
:"
Icanwal
k"
Me:"
yeahyou'l
lbewalki
ngi
naf
ewmont
hs
babedon'
tloosehope"

Istr
uggl
edt ospeakasmybr
eat
hingchanged.
Nicowouldn'
tstop

Her
:"
Icanwal
k"
Me:
"how?
"
Her
:"
Idon'tknow.Iwokeupwal
ki
ngt
winIam
wal
king!
"

Icoul
dn'
tbel
i
evei
t.Shej
usthungupandsenta
t
extsayi
ngImustbr
ingchampagneandcake
l
aterf
orcel
ebr
ati
on

ItoldNi cothegoodnewsandhewasj ustas

surprised.Wehadaqui ckoneintheshower
andIsawhi mlookingf
orhistoot
hbrush.He
didn'taskthoughandlucki
lywekeptspar e
ones

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Not
hingwar
mst
hehear
tli
keseei
ngy
ourbaby
growi
ngbiggerandbetterever
yday.Icannow
draworpaintpeacef
ull
ywithoutherwai
l
ingal
l
day.

Remoisfocusedonthethingsshecanhear
andherr
attl
ingt
oyshelp.Shedoesn'
tsl
eepfor
l
onghoursli
kebefor
ebutshebet aki
ngshort
napsmostoftheday

Mxol
i
sihasbecomearegul
arandhehel
psme
al
oteveni
fKemmydisappr
oves

°
°
°
°
Khensane

Ihavebeenwalki
ngaroundalldaygett
ingthe
hangofit
.Iwouldst
umbl eandfall
butIdidn'
t
giv
eup.Janedidn'
tal
soletmer estsobynoonI
wasexhaust
ed

Iwenttotakeabathandloti
onedt
henopened
mywar drobeandlookedf
orsomethingsimple
whil
ewait i
ngfort
winandherman.Myphone
rangandMusascr eamedonthescreen.Irol
l
ed
myey es

Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
canIcomev
isi
t?"
Me:
"nott
onightbutcometomyt
oget
herwi
th
t
heDNAt estki
tIaskedf
or"
Hi
m:"
okaysexywi
l
lseey
out
omor
rowt
henand
don'
tdi
sapoi
ntme"
Me:
"di
sapoi
nt?
"
Hi
m:"
Imeandon'
tcancel
onme"
Me:"
Iwon'tcancel
becauseIhav
etoasky
ou
somethi
ng"
Hi
m:"
ask"
Me:
"doy
ouknowAy
andaShezi
,theonef
rom
Di
amondFM?"
Hi
m:"
oht
heoney
oubeatupy
eah"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tbeatherupj
ustsl
appedher
"
Hi
m:"
yeahIknowher
"
Me:
"ar
eyour
elat
ed?
"
Hi
m:"
yesshe'
smyuhm mydaught
er"
Me:
"daught
er?
"
Hi
m:"
yesuhm seey
out
omor
rowt
henby
e"
Hehungupinaj i
ff
yandt hatgotmethinki
nga
l
ot.Iheardacarparki
ngout si
deandIcall
ed
outtoJanetogetthedoor.Shepeepedint
omy
room
Her
:"
bet
tergetdr
essedcozI
'
m goi
ngoutwi
th
myboyf
ri
end"
Me:
"you'
veal
readyt
oldmedweeh"

Iqui
cklypul
ledasi
mpl
edressandr
ushedt
o
thel
i
vingroom t
ofi
ndNicoal
one

°
°
°
°

Ni
co
Cel
ebrat
ingKhensane'
sjour
neytoheal
i
ng.We
werehappythatshewasablet
owalk.I
twas
j
ustthetwoofusbecauseJanehadtogo
somewhere

Shelookedsolov
elyi
nadeni
m dressand
wedges,har
dly24hour
sofwal
kingbutshe'
s
al
readyinhi
ghshoes
Iopenedonebot
tl
esol
ongwewai
tedf
or
Tsakaneandwehadat
oast

Her
:"
toheal
i
ngandbei
ngbet
ter
"
Me:
"t
oheal
i
ngandbei
ngbet
ter
"

Wedr ankandtalkedaboutalotofthi
ngsplus
wev i
besoeasily.Mybeauti
fulwif
ecalledandI
excusedmy sel
f
Me:
"st
handwa"
Her:
"Shanduli
stenyoucancarr
yonwi
tht
winby
your
selvesI
'l
lj
oinyouabitl
ater"
Me:
"wor
k?"
Her
:"
yeahy
ouknow"
Me:"
okaythenwe'
l
lleav
eyousomecakeand
whatnot
"
Her
:"
thanksShanduby
e"
Her
:"
Ilov
eyouny
ana"
Her
:"
lol
I'
m sor
ry.
..Il
ovey
oudearhusband"

Iwasabithear
tbr
okenbutIdi
dn'
treadmuch
i
ntoi
t.Il
ookedatt
winwho
hashadmorethanenoughchampagneand
wasontohert
hir
dbottl
e
Me:
"It
hinky
ou'
vehadmor
ethanenough"
Her
:"
don'
tbesuchapar
typooper
"
Me:
"yourt
winsay
sshe'
l
lmakei
tmuchl
ater
"
Her
:"
webot
hknowshewon'
tcome"
Me:
"yeahr
ight
"

Shespi
l
lthedr
inkonher
sel
f

Her
:"
wuuI
'
m sodr
unk"
Me:
"I
'm sor
rybutIhav
etoputt
hisaway
"

Iputawaythechampagneandshegotupand
al
mosttri
pledover

Her:
"goaway,
let
'shav
eapr
opercel
ebr
ati
on
whentwini
shere"
Me:
"goodi
dea"

Shewal
kedmet
owar
dsmycar
Her:
"t
hanksforcomingandtellt
wint
hatI
'
m so
ver
yangryatherfornotcoming"
Me:"
I'
m al
sohur
twehadt
ocel
ebr
ateonour
own"
Her
:"
thanksforev
eryt
hingy
oudi
dforme.I
r
eal
lyappreci
atei
t"
Me:
"gl
adIcoul
dhel
p"

IhuggedherandIshiftedmyheadtotheside.
Ourlipslockedforav
er yl
ongti
methenshe
roughlypushedmeandwenti nsi
decl
osingthe
doorbehi ndher

Idebat
edwi
thmy
sel
fwet
hert
ofol
l
owheror
not
.Ist
oodf
oral
ongt
imel
eani
ngagai
nstmy
car

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

solongasyoukeepthel
i
kescomingandt
he
pagegrowi
ng,t
here'
l
lbemorebonuses
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t32

Ni
co

Il
ookedatherfastasl
eepandt r
iedshakingher
awakebutshedidn'
tmov e.Poorthi
ng,she
l
ookedsocuteinhersleep.It
ookmyt hings
andqui
cklydr
ov ehomebef or
eTsakanecomes
back

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iknockedoffi
nthemorningandwenthomeas
exhaustedascanbe.Iparkedi
nthegaragebut
didn'
tgetout
Timewasnotwaiti
ngformeandIhav
en'
tdone
thet
esty
et.Ical
l
edt wi
n

Her
:"
what
?"
Me:
"t
imei
smov
ingandIhav
en'
tdonet
het
est
"
Her:
"ohheytwinohhI'
vegotat
err
ibl
eheadache
ouchIcan'
tevenli
ftupmyhead"
Me:
"f
ocusKhensane,
theDNAt
est
"
Her:
"ohyeahMusawi
l
ldoi
tthi
saf
ter
noonso
youcancome"
Me:
"Musa?
"
Her
:"
yeahmydoct
orboy
fri
end"
Me:
"ohokaywhatt
ine?
"
Her
:"
he'
l
lbeher
ear
ound2pm"
Me:
"okaywe'
l
lbequi
ckbecauseIhav
etobeat
wor
kby3pm"
Her
:"
youshoul
drestgeez
.Wor
kthi
swor
kthat
"

Ihungupandmadesur eever
y t
hingwasi
nthe
handbag,thenwenti
nsi
de.Nicowasgoing
upstai
rsandIcal
ledout
Me:
"noj
oggi
ngt
hismor
ning?
"

Ir
eferr
edt othecl
ot heshewaswearing.
Anyonewouldt hi
nkhej ustgoti
n.Hetur
ned
sl
owlyclearl
ystart
led

Hi
m:"
huh?
"
Me:
"r
acey
out
othebat
hroom"
Hi
m:"
ohIwouldl
iket
obathal
onebutIcant
ake
t
heshoweri
fyouwant"
Me:
"we'
l
lbot
htaket
heshower
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m noti
nthemoodTsakane"
Iwatchedhi
mt i
rel
ycl
imbthebedanddoze
whichwaspret
tyunusual
butIdidn'
tworry
becausemyfocuswasgetti
ngthetestdone
°
°
°
°

Khensane

TwinwokemeupandIwasi r
ri
tat
ed,ther
e's
nothingIhatemor et
hanbeingwokenup.I
rubbedmyey esandyawnedthendroppedmy
j
aw, Ireal
isedthatNi
cohaslefthi
sbeltand
j
acket .Nononohowcoul dIbesost upid

°
°
°
°
Bonang

Mxoli
sicameov eragai
nandthi
st i
meIlethim
doeveryt
hingbyhimself
,Il
ethi
mf eed,change
andbathRemowi thoutl
if
ti
ngafinger

Kemisetsosentmeat extsay
ingshe'
llbe
sl
eepingatJay'saf
tercl
assesbutdeepdownI
knewshewasangr ythatMxolisi
wouldbe
spendingthedayhere

Remohadtakenhernapasusual andIwentt
o
di
shupforus.Ihadcookedonlyri
ceandmince
mixedwi
thpotatoes,
didn'
tgooverboar
d

Hesatont
het
abl
eaf
terwashi
nghi
shands
Hi
m:"
soourpr
incessdedi
cat
esmostofher
t
imei
ndreaml
and"
Me:"y
oucansayt
hatagai
n,she'
salways
nappi
ngbutcomeni
ghtti
mey ou'
dfindherwi
de
awake"
Hi
m:"
thatI
'
dlov
etoseeoneday
"

Icamewit
hthepl
atesandhandedhi
m hi
sthen
fet
chedt
hejui
ceandsatdowntoeat

Me:
"t
hanksf
orhel
pingoutwi
thRemo"
Hi
m:"
it
'smyresponsi
bil
i
ty.I
'
m gl
ady
ougav
eme
t
heoppor
tuni
ty"
Me:"
yeahitwouldbeunf
airt
odepr
iveRemot
he
oppor
tuni
ty.Idi
ditf
orher
"
Hi
m:"
nonet
hel
esst
hanky
ou"
Awkwardsi
l
encewi
thusst
eal
i
nggl
ancesat
eachot
her

Me:"
havey
ouseenCancersi
nceyougot
out
?shest
art
edwal
ki
ngy est
erday
'sy
ouknow"
Hi
m:"
Ihaven'
thadt
hebr
aver
ytof
aceherand
al
l
.If
eelashamed"
Me:
"t
heny
oushoul
dapol
ogi
se"
Him:
"I
'l
lgi
veherti
metohealemoti
onal
lyand
l
ikey
ousaid,shej
ustst
art
edwalki
ng"
Me:
"doy
out
hinkshe'
l
ltakey
ouback?
"
Hi
m:"nobutIwoul
dn'
tdar
egot
her
eev
eni
fI
wantto"
Me:
"uhm .
..di
dyouev
erl
ovemeorwasi
t..
."

Hi
sti
nyphonebeepedser
ver
alt
imesandhe
gotup

Hi
m:"
excuseme"

Ir
egr
etaskinghimthatquest
ion,
Imeant
hings
ar
egoingtolooksuperawkward

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwasst
ressedaboutNi
cospendi
ngtheni
ght
her
ebutIdidn'
tdar
ecal
lhi
m.Iheardacarpar
k
out
sideandpeeped,
itWasagoldBMW.I
wasn'ti
ntocar
sbutthi
slooksl
i
kethel
atest

Iwassurpr
isedwhenuDoct or
Baegotout.I
fr
eakedoutbecausehewasabi tear
ly.Lucki
l
yI
hadalr
eadybathedandfi
nishedti
dyi
ngup
becomeJanehasn'tcomeback

Istoodbehi
ndthedoorwait
ingforhi
mt oknock.
Iadjust
edmyshortsandshi
rtthenIhear
da
knockandtookadeepbreathbefor
eopening

Me:
"heyy
ou'
reear
ly"
Hi
m:"
hi"

Hepushedmebackandgoti nclosi
ngthedoor
behindhim.Hekissedmehungr
il
yand
passionat
elyt
hatIbecameweakattheknees.
Heplacedmeont hecount
erandtookoffmy
shor
tswhil
eunbottoni
nghisshi
rt.
Idi
dn'
tknow
whattodobutIknewthatIwantedhi
m.

Ever
ythi
nghappenedsofastandinasecond
wewer ebot
hnakedandhewasr oll
ingonthe
condom.Atthatpoi
ntmymi nddart
edbackto
Mxoli
si

It
riedt
of i
ghtbackthet
houghtbecauseI
wantedtobefreefr
om ther
ape.Ididn'
twantt
o
beav i
cti
m soIletMusadohisj
obandopened
wide

Ever
ystr
okewasl i
keaswordbeingthr
ustat
myheartbutinmymindIonlywantedonethi
ng,
togetoveranddonewi
ththerape.Hav
ingsex
wasgoi
ngt
ohel
pmef
orgetmay
be

Iheardhim groanandgrantmeaninghewaste
done.Ili
mpedt omyr oom andranabathwhil
e
heclearedupatt heki
tchen.Ihear
dmysister
's
carparkingandthesoundofherheels

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t33

Ni
co

Iwasathomei nmyst
udy,Ikeptthi
nking
aboutKhensanet
hewhol
eday,Icoul
dn't
concent
rat
eonwhatIwasworkingon.Icl
osed
mylapt
opanddi
aledher
e'snumber.
Shepi
cked
uponthet
hir
dri
ng

Her
:"
I'
m busy
"
Me:
"cl
ear
lynott
oobusyt
otakenmycal
l
"
Her
:"
wel
lIwantt
oknowwhy
"
Me:
"whywhat
?"
Her
:"
youknowwhaty
oudi
d"
Me:
"Idi
dnot
hing"
Her
:"
howcoul
dyout
akeadv
ant
ageofme?
"
Me:
"uhm adv
ant
age?
"
Her
:"
yousl
eptbymypl
acet
hatni
ght
"
Me:
"yeahbutwedi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng"
Her
:"
huh?
"
Me:
"Imeanwedi
dn'
thav
esexsost
op
wor
ryi
ng"
Ihear
dhersi
ghwi
thr
eli
ef

Her:
"okaybutdon'
tyouev
ersl
eepnextt
ome
agai
n.You'v
egotawi f
e"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry.
..y
ougood?
"
Her
:"
busycan'
ttal
k"

Shehunguponme,Idon'
tknowwhyshewould
thi
nkI'
dtakeadv
ant
ageofherdr
unksel
fbutI
don'
tblameher

°
°
°
°
Khensane

WhenIwentt othel
ivi
ngroom therewasno
one.Il
ookedoutsi
deandtheircarswereal
so
gonegeezIdidn'
tevenheart
hem leavi
ngor
anyt
hing.Ibl
i
nkedandlookedaroundconfused

Janewalkedinwhi
leIwassi
tt
ingont
hechai
r
l
ookingatthebl
ankTV
Iwasthi
nki
ngofwhathappenedbetweenMusa
andIandIhadr
egr
etsbecauseIdidn'
tfeel
any
di
ffer
ent

Her
:"
hopey
oul
eftmesomecake"

Sheopenedt
hef
ri
dgeandhel
pedher
sel
fto
somel
eft
over
s.

Her
:"
Ihopeyoudi
dn'tnegl
ectt
rai
ningbecause
ofmyabsence..
.eart
htoKhensane"
Me:
"l
eav
emeal
one"
Her
:"
what
'
swr
ong?
"
Me:"
twopeopl
eweresupposedt
odo
somethi
ngbutt
heyar
enothereIdon'
tknow
why"
Her
:"
whatwer
etheysupposedt
odo?
"
Me:
"somet
hingi
mpor
tant
"
Her
:"
whoar
ethey
?"
Me:
"can'
ttel
l
"
Her
:"
okayt
hencan'
thel
p"

Shegotupandl
eftmest
il
lwonder
ing
°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwaspainti
ngsomethi
ngforRemo, Imissed
goi
ngtot hegal
ler
yanddoingwhatIlovebutI
l
oveRemomor e.Shewasinhercr
ibholding
hertoy
sandmaki ngbabysoundsthatwere
cute

Il
ookedatmyphonet hendeci
dedtoposta
phot
oofMxolisihol
dingRemowi t
hthecapt
ion
'
DaddyDayCar
e'asmyst at
usonWhatsApp.I
repli
edtoaf
ewmessagest
hencont
inued
painti
ng

Myphoner
angloudl
ymakingmej
umpabi
t.I
pi
ckedi
tup,i
twasKhensane

Her
:"
Iseedaddydaycar
ehasbeenoutt
opl
ay"
Me:
"yeahhei
s"
Her:
"soyouar
ereal
l
ygonnal
etMxol
i
sir
aise
yourchi
l
d"
Me:"he'
ssohel
pfulther
e'snot
hingIcandot
o
changethef
actthathe'
sRemo' sdad"
Her
:"
oh"
Me:"yeahlookCancerIknowshi thashappened
betweenusbecauseofhi m buthei sdoi
nga
greatjobatthi
sfat
herhoodthingy"
Her
:"
okayt
hen"
Me:
"hopet
hischangesnot
hing"
Her
:"
ofcour
seIgott
ogoby
e"

Isensesomejeal
ousyt her
e.Cancerhadher
chancewithMxol
isianditdidn'
tworkoutso
she'
stryi
ngtorui
nthingsforRemo

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Webot hpar
kedont hesi
deoftheroadina
deser
tedstr
eetsomewher ei
nthetownshi
p.We
gotoutandfacedeachother
,bot
hleani
ngon
ourcar
s

Hi
m:"
sot
hatDNAki
twasf
ory
ou?
"
Me:
"pl
easedon'
tputmeont
hespot
"
Hi
m:"
meani
ngIcoul
dbet
hef
ather
"
Me:
"i
sn'
ti
tobv
ious?
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sur
eiti
smi
ne"
Me:
"whatmakesy
ousocer
tai
n?"
Hi
m:"
wel
lyourmanal
way
sdepr
ivedy
ou"
Me:
"andy
ouhi
tandr
an"
Him:
"sur
elyy
oudi
dn'
texpectmet
ost
aydi
d
you?
"

Ireal
l
ywantedt
ost
rangl
ethi
sbast
ardbutI
keptmycool
Me:"
mytwinsai
dherdoctorboy
fri
endwas
goi
ngtoperf
ormthet
est.Howcomey ouwoul
d
dat
emytwin?"
Hi
m:"
it
'saf
reecount
ry"
Me:"
ify
oudi
ditt
ospi
temet
heny
ouar
ean
i
diot
"
Him:
"maybeIam.Thei
diotwhoimpregnat
ed
theMalul
ekatwi
nswhothoughtt
heywerehigh
andmighty"
Me:
"youar
econf
usi
ngme"
Hi
m:"
onedi
dyou'
l
lknowwhyIdi
dwhatIdi
d"

Hewal kedawayandgotinhiscar.Ihadalotof
questi
onsbutIcoul
dn'task.Whatwast he
agenda?Whoi st
hisguyreall
y?whyt ar
getthe
twi
ns?MusaShez i
andAy andaShezi.What's
goingon?
°
°
°
°

Khensane

Ihadfini
shedtal
ki
ngwi t
hmymom ont he
phoneandJanewasdi shingupsupper, t
win
hasn'
trepli
edt
oanyofmymessagesandIwas
worri
ed.Icoul
dn'
ttextNicoincaseIgotheri
n
tr
ouble

Janehandedmemypl at
eandsatdownwith
hers.It
ookaspoonf
uloftheoxt
ail
Janehad
cooked
Me:
"ohGodt
hisi
ssogood"
Her
:"
you'
l
lsur
elymi
ssmycooki
ngandspoi
l
ing"
Me:
"def
ini
tel
ywi
l
l"
Her
:"
I'
ll
bel
eav
ingf
orPEbyt
heweekend"
Me:
"why
?"
Her
:"
wel
lyoucanwal
ksomywor
kher
eisdone"
Me:
"butJane.
..
"

Iputonasadf
acet
ornbyt
henews

Her
:"
unf
ort
unat
elybabes"
Me:
"can'
tyounotgo"
Her
:"I
'
llcomeandcheckyouasafri
endbutI
hav
et oworkwit
hotherpat
ient
s"
Me:
"buty
oucanal
way
sst
ay"
Her
:"
I'
m ast
ayi
nnur
seandphy
siol
ogi
st
meani
ngIhav
etost
aywi
thmynextpat
ient
Mi
ssMorri
s"

Iwantedt
ocry.Ireal
l
ydi
dbutdi
dn't
.Ihad
grownsofondofJaneandhert
err
ibl
ejokes.
Shealway
sspoiledmeandnowshe'sleav
ing

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Iwassitt
inginthedarkhavi
ngwhiskeywhil
e
wait
ingforTsakane,Iknewshewasn'tatwork
becauseIpassedthere.
Shecameint heanddidn'
tswit
chont hel
ight
,
i
nsteadshetookoffhershoesandtr
ied
ti
ptoei
ngupstai
rs.Igr
abbedherarm andshe
gasped

Me:
"wher
ewer
eyou?
"
Her
:"
wor
k"
Me:
"st
opl
yi
ng"
Her
:"
Iwasatwor
kNi
col
asl
etgoofmyar
m"
Me:"
Iwenttothehospi
tal
ordoy
ouwor
kat
anot
herhospi
tal
?"
Her
:"
arey
oust
alki
ngme?
"
Me:
"whatwer
eyoudoi
ngwi
tht
hatman?
"
Her
:"
who?
"
Me:
"Shezi
!t
houghtweagr
eedt
haty
ouwi
l
lnev
er
bewit
hhim agai
n"
Iwasl
ivi
d,mybl
oodpr
essur
eboi
l
ingandshe
wasshaki
ng

Her
:"Iwasn'
twi
thhi
mfort
hatr
easonShandu
bel
i
ev eme"
Mel:"
howhuh? y
oucheatedwit
hhim andnow
youarerunni
ngbehindeachot
herandI'
m
supposedtobel
iev
ey ou?"
Her
:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"f
orwhathuh!
"

Iwasrai
singmyvoi
ceandhercr
ocodi
l
etear
s
workedt
hemselv
esup

Her
:"
youar
escar
ingme"
Me:
"getoutofmyf
acebef
oreIdosomet
hingI
'
ll
r
egr
et"

Shemadeherwayupstai
rsandIt
ookmycar
key
sandwentout.Ican'
tbel
i
eveshe'
dgoback
tot
hatman

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t34

Khensane

I
twaspastmi
dni
ghtandNi
cowasbl
owi
ngmy
phone
Me:
"whatcoul
dyoupossi
blywantatt
hist
ime?
"
Hi
m:"
opent
hedoorI
'
m out
side"
Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Him:
"pl
easeKhensaneopenf
orme.I
'
m col
d
ndi
yagodol
a"

HesoundedabitdrunksoIcoul
dn'
tresi
st.I
wrappedagownonmynakedbodyandwentt o
t
heglassdoor
.Isli
ghtl
yopenedandstood
t
here

Me:
"di
dyouseet
het
ime?
"
Hi
m:"
Ihadnowher
eel
set
ogo"
Me:
"yourhousehas20r
ooms"
Him:"
Ihadt
ogetoutsoar
eyoul
ett
ingmei
nor
not?
"
Me:
"okaycomei
n"
Ishif
tedandhesli
dpastmemakinghi
sway
clumsil
ytothecouch.Hef
ell
oni
tandIlocked
thedoor.Iwal
kedtohim

Hi
m:"canIpleasest
ayfort
heni
ghtpr
omi
seI
won'
tsleepnexttoyou"
Me:"onecondi
ti
ont
haty
out
ell
mewhat
happened"
Hi
m:"
wehadaf
ight
":
"youandTsakane?
"
Hi
m:"
yur
pshe'
sst
il
lcheat
ing"
Me:
"shewouldhavet
oldme"
:"
ofcour
seshedi
d
mysourcesayst
heymether
e"
Me:
"huh?
"
Him:"
yup,yougav
ethem apl
acet
omeet
yest
erday
"
Me:
"ofcour
sey
oudi
d.Ihav
epi
ctur
es"
Heshowedmepict
uresofMusaandTsakane
l
eavi
ngmyplacei
nthei
rcar
s

Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Hi
m:"
thi
sist
heguyshe'
sbeencheat
ingwi
th"
Me:
"not
hisi
smyboy
fri
end"
Hi
m:"
Shezi
ispl
ayi
ngy
ou.He'
swi
thTsakane"
Me:
"t
hat
'snotpossi
ble"
Him:"
beli
evewhatyouwantbutIknowthat
she'
sbeencheati
ngwit
hhim.Sheev en
admit
ted.That
'swhywedivor
cedforafew
days"

Myheadwasspinni
ng,TsakaneandMusa
toget
her
!Il
ookedatt
hosepictur
esagai
nand
becameangry
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Idon'
tknowwher eNicospentthenightandI
wasworriedsi
ck.Idi
dn'tsleepawink.By6am I
tr
iedhi
sphonef ort
he50t htimebutitwasof
f

Iwalkedtot heki
tchenandtr
iedfor
cingsome
cerealdownloadmyt hr
oatbutIcoul
dn't.Iwent
tothegy m downstai
rsandtr
iedworkingoutbut
sti
l
l
Idi
aledmyt
winandi
ttookmest
rai
ghtt
ovoi
ce
mail

Me:"t
winIknowy oumustbewonderi
ngwhat
happenedyesterdaybutIpr
omi
set otell
you
ever
ythi
ngy ouneedtoknow.Pleaset
r ycal
l
ing
Shanduformebecausewehada
misunder
standingandhehasn'
tcomehome"

Iputmyphonedownindismayandtr
ied
worki
ngonmylaptophopingoneoft
hem
wouldcal
l

°
°
°
°
Khensane
Ihadcov er
edhim wi
thawarm bl
anketaf
terhe
pouredhisoutaboutmycheat
ingtwi
n.
Ever
y t
hingmadesenseandMusaev enagreed
whenIaskedhim onWhatsApp

Janecameandf
oundmest
ari
ngathi
m

Her
:"
what
'
shedoi
ngher
e?"
Me:
"hewast
oodr
unkt
odr
ive"
Her
:"
andhi
swi
fe?
"
Me:
"l
etmegochangesowecanst
artwi
th
t
rai
ning"

Iwenttochangeandshedidhermagic.I
'
m sti
l
l
sadthatshe'
sleav
ing.Af
teroursessi
onshe
t
ookoutay
oghur
tatt
hef
ri
dgeanddugi
n

Her
:"
I'
m goi
ngout
"
Me:
"l
ikey
oual
way
sdosi
nceIst
art
edwal
ki
ng"
Her
:"
jeal
ousy
!"
Me:
"what
ever
"
Her:
"I
'l
lbeinv
erylat
eandhopef
ull
yyou'
l
ldo
f
inewithther
estoftr
aini
ng"
Me:
"gowher
every
ouneedt
ogoJaney
ooh"

Shekissedmeont hef
oreheadand
di
sappearedint
othebathr
oom whi
leIf
ini
shed
offheryoghur
t

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Iwokeuptothesmelloftoast
,geezIl
ovetoast.
Imademywayt othekit
chenwher eKhensane
wasmakingbrunchdanci
ngwi t
hherheadsets
on

Ihuggedherf
rom behi
ndandsheal
mostki
l
led
mewi t
haknif
e

Me:
"ki
l
lme"
Her:
"I
'm sor
rybuty
oushoul
dn'
tsneakupon
peopl
e"

Shet
ookof
ftheheadsetandputawayt
hekni
fe
Me:
"Inowknowey
"
Her:
"si
mpl
ebreakf
ast
,toastwi
thcheeseand
or
angejui
ce"
Me:
"Ican'
twai
t"
Her
:"
Iwasal
socut
ti
ngsomet
omat
ose"
Me:
"sal
adont
hesi
de?
"
Her
:"
yeaht
omat
oesandaf
ewgr
eenl
eav
es"
Me:
"not
hanks"
Her
:"
lol
gowashy
ourf
ace"

Ihurr
iedt
othebathr
oom andhadmymor ni
ng
peethenwashedmyf aceandgugl
edwi
ththe
mouthwash,whenIwentbackshewasal
ready
eati
ng

Ij
oinedherwhi
l
ewet
alkedaboutt
hingsunder
gener
al

Her
:"
wor
k?"
Me:
"I
'l
lj
ustmakeafewcal
l
sthenI'
m sor
ted.
Wor
kedhardthepastf
ewweeks"
Her
:"
luckyy
ou"
Me:
"whatar
eyourpl
ans?
"
Her:
"nothi
ng.Ij
ustwantt
orel
axsomewher
ein
dubaispendi
ngablesser
smoney"
Me:
"l
etmebl
essy
ouwi
thaf
ewt
housands"
Her
:"
forashoppi
ngspr
ee?
"
Me:
"coul
dbeandmay
besomegr
ocer
ies"
Her
:"
pleaset
u"

Il
ikedthegl
owi nhereyeswhenwet al
ked
aboutmoney.Isenther25Kandwat chedher
j
awdr opwhenshesawt henot
if
icat
ion
Shegotupandhuggedme

Her
:"
thanksbl
esser
"
Me:
"gl
ady
ouar
ehappy
"
Her:
"I
'mveryhappybutIthi
nky
oushouldcal
l
Tsakaneandletherknowwher
eyouare"
Me:
"okayi
fthatmakesy
ouhappy
"
Her
:"
yesbhut
'bl
esser
"

Shestar
tedmakingdancemovesandshewas
good,
Ireal
lywantedtohol
dherti
nywai
st

°
°
°
°

Bonang

IsatKemiset
sodownear l
ybeforeRemowoke
up.Shewasi nabri
ghtpinkshortj
umpsui
tthat
reveal
edherbackmakingherlookhot

Me:
"whatt
imear
eyougoi
ngt
ocl
ass"
Her
:"
I'
m notgoi
ngt
oday
"
Me:
"buti
tlooksl
i
key
ou'
regoi
ngsomewher
e"
Her
:"
picni
cwi
thJ"
Me:
"yout
wohav
ebecomesur
pri
singl
ycl
ose"
Her:
"thesethi
ngshappenandbesi
des,
heard
youtalki
ngov ert
hephonewit
hbabydaddysoI
neededt ogetout"
Me:
"oh"
Her
:"
yeahsol
emmer
un"
Me:
"wai
tuhm soy
ouandJ"
Her
:"
uhhuh"
Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon"
Her
:"
wear
einar
elat
ionshi
p"

Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng,ImeanJhadaboy fr
iendI
knewofandheisgay,shel
ookedser
ious

Me:
"I
'm sor
rywer
eyouser
ious?
"
Her
:"
arghy
ouannoyme"
Shest
ormedof
fleav
ingmeper
plexed

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

IhadpassedoutonmydeskandIwokewi tha
headache.Icheckedi
nmydr
awer sforsome
painki
ll
erst
henremember
edthatShandu
wasn'thome

Icheckedmyphonehopi ngtofi
ndsomethi
ng
butIonlysawamessagef rom t
heheadofthe
hospit
alrequest
ingtoseemeASAP.Musaand
hisfat
herarereall
yget
tingonmyner ves

Ir
anabat handdidsomebodyscr ubbingthen
l
otionedandworeagoldsil
kymaxi dresswith
brownsandals,
Ilef
tanotewiththewor ker
sfor
Shandu.Ievensenthi
m atexti
nforminghim
wher
eIwasgoi
ng

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwasatt hemallwit
hNi coandwell
boxedhis
money .Wedidn'
tuset heonehesentmeno.I
keptr
est i
ngasIcouldn'twal
kforalongper
iod
buthewaspat i
entwithmet ry
ingontheshoes
andclothesandtesti
ngmakeupandsuch

Aft
eralongdayhefi
nal
lydr
ovemehome.Iwas
sur
pri
sedtoseehimthr
owinghi
msel
fonthe
couch

Me:
"t
houghty
ouwer
egoi
nghome"
Hi
m:"
nopeI
'
m st
il
lnur
singmyf
eel
i
ngs"
Me:"l
olIhopeyoucall
edyourwi
fei
nfor
mingher
aboutyourwhereabout
s"
Hi
m:"
Idi
d"
Me:
"I
'mt
ir
ed.I
'
m goi
ngt
obat
handr
est
"
Hi
m:"
okayI
'
llbewat
chi
ngsoccer
"

Iwenttothebat
hroom anddidmybusi
ness
thenaf
tersometimeIfoundhimi
nacleanshi
rt
andpants.Hesmell
edfresh

Me:
"i
sthi
swhatweboughtt
oday
?"
Hi
m:"
yup"
Me:
"howl
ongdoesy
oubei
nmyspace?
"
Hi
m:"
asl
ongasIcant
hinkof
"

Ilaughedandjoi
nedhim onthecouch.Hewas
wat chi
ngsui
cidesquar
eandIwassur pri
sedmy
twinhasn'
tcomet ofet
chhim

WehadeatenatthemallsoIwassti
llful
land
hedi
dn'
twantfoodeit
her.Af
tersui
cidesquad
wewatchedfi
ft
hyshadesofgreyandthat'
s
wher
etheawkwar dmomentscame

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t35
Tsakane

Ifoundhi m si
tti
ngpati
entl
yatt
hefancy
restaurant
,helookedli
kehehasbeenwait
ing
forlong.Iquickl
ygrabbedaseatandhewaved
atthewai tr
on

Me:
"si
r"
Hi
m:"
Doct
orShandu"
Me:
"whyam Iher
e?"
Hi
m:"
I'
vebeenmoni
tor
ingy
ourwor
kandy
ou
ar
esl
acki
ng"
Me:
"I
'm sor
rysi
rI'
vej
ustbeendeal
i
ngwi
thal
ot"
Hi
m:"
Isee"

Wepl
acedouror
der
s
Me:
"Iam ahar
dwor
kingdoct
orsi
ryouknow"
Hi
m:"IdobutnowIthi
nkyoushouldt
akea
br
eaktodealwit
hwhateveryouar
efaci
ng.I
wanttogi
veyouli
ghtshi
fts"
Me:"
nothankssirbutIneedtokeepwor
king.I
pr
omiseIwon'tslackagain"
Hi
m:"
ify
oui
nsi
st"

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Wehavebeenki
ssi
ngf
orqui
tesomet
imeandI
pul
l
edback
Me:
"ahem!
"
Hi
m:"
what
'swr
ong?
"
Me:
"webot
hknowt
hisi
swr
ong"
Hi
m:"
buti
tfeel
sri
ght
"
Me:
"Iknow .
..Imeani
t'
snot
"
Him:"
youknowthatt
here'
ssomethi
ngt hatyou
feel
formeandIknowy ouknowthatIfeel
somethi
ngtoosolet
'snotf
ightt
hesefeeli
ngs"
Me:
"Ir
eal
l
ywantt
oexpl
oret
hisbutTsak.
..
"

Hesmashedhisli
psontomineagainand
sucked.Mybodywasfai
li
ngme.Ifoundmysel
f
touchi
nghi
m, myhandsal
loverhi
sbody

Hecar
ri
edmet omybedr
oom andplacedme
ont
hebedthenki
ssedmybody.It
rembledas
shi
ver
sweresentt
hroughmybody
.The
adr
enal
iner
ushfl
owingthr
oughme

Me:
"I
'm scar
ed"
Hi
m:"
don'
tbeIgoty
oubabe"

Withthatbeingsaidhewentdownandmuf f
ed
me, Igrabbedthesheet
scal
li
ngouthisname.
Heemer gedandmademet astemysel
fwhil
e
positi
oning.HepushedandIgaspedathowbig
hewas

Me:
"youar
etoobi
g"
Hi
m:"
am Ihur
ti
ngy
ou?
"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"doyouwantust
ost
opandcuddl
e
i
nst
ead?"
Me:
"noputi
tinI
'
llhandl
eit
"

Hepushedhar derandIshutmyeyesandbi tmy

l
ipswhi l
ehemov edslowlyt
henheincreased
hispacethrust
inghar
danddeepmaki ngsur e
hefil
ledthespacewithi
nme

Heshothi sl
oadmur muring'
shi
t'underhi
s
breat
h'Ithoughtwewer edonebuthetoldme
tocomeont op.Ibal
ancedmyhandsonhi s
chestandmov edupanddownwi thhi
shands
onmyhi psguidingme.

Iwentfasterandfel
tmywal l
scontract,
Itr
ied
getti
ngoffbuthepoundedev enfast
er.I
screamedloudlyasIreachedafi
rstreal
orgasm,myey esrol
ledandIdiedforafew
seconds
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

NowIwasont hev er
geofloosi
ngmymind.I
foundthatShanduhasn'
tcomehomeev ennow
soItookabot t
leofwineanddrovetomytwin'
s
.Iwassur pr
isedtoseehiscaronthedr
ivewil
l
andIsighedinrel
ief

Igotoutandknockedbutt hedoorwas
unl
ockedsoIletmy sel
fin.Itwasdar
kandquiet
soImademywayt oherbedr oom,myshoes
makingnoi
seonthewoodenf l
oor
.Bef
oreI
coul
dreachherdoorf
lungopen

Her
:"
Tsakane!
"
Me:
"youl
ooksur
pri
sed.Thedoorwasn'
tl
ocked
so.
..
"
Her
:"
soy
oudeci
dedt
oinv
ademypr
ivacy
?"

Shewassomehowsourandhereyeswere
dar
ti
ngever
ywher
e.Sheadj
ustedhergown

Me:"
I'
m sor
ryaboutt
heot
herdaybutMusahas
beenusi
ng..
."
Her
:"
blahbl
ahbl
ah"
Me:"
I'
m sor
rybutIl
efty
ouamessage
expl
aini
ng.
..
"
Her
:"
I'
m ov
eri
tsi
s,i
t'
syourbabyy
ouri
ssue"
IwasshockedbyhersharptoneandIdidn'
t
wanttofi
ghtwi
thher.Iwenttotheki
tchenand
shefol
lowedme

Me:
"youdoknowt
hati
t'
smyhouser
ight
?"
Her
:"
yeahr
ubi
tin"
Me:
"wher
e'sShanduIsawhi
scar
?"
Her
:"
uhm mustbei
ntheot
herr
oom"
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
mehe'
sher
e?"
Her
:"
hersai
dhecal
l
edy
ou"

Ipur
sedmyl
i
psandShanduemer
ged.Ir
ant
o
hi
m

Me:
"Shandu,
Iam sosor
ryI.
..
"
Hestoppedmeandcl
earedhi
sthroatand
l
ookedattwi
n.Hehadthi
sweir
dlook

Her
:"
ify
ou'
l
lexcuseme"

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Wehadbot hfal
l
enasl
eepaft
erafewrounds
andluckil
yKhensanewasabl
etohearher
sist
er'
sfootst
epswhenshewantedtocomein
thebedroom .Wewouldhavebeencaught
RightnowIwassitt
ingonthehighchairand
shewassi t
ti
ngontheothersi
defacingme.Her
expressi
onbrokeme

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Her:
"wi
thal
ldueandr
espectIcamet
otakey
ou
homebaba"
Me:
"I
'm notgoi
ngwi
thy
ou"
Her:
"pl
easeShandu,Idon'
tl
ikei
twhenwel
eav
e
t
hingsunresol
ved"
Me:
"okayt
hen"
Her
:"
I'
m sor
rybuti
t'
snotwhaty
out
hink"
Me:
"wer
eyouwi
thMusaShezi
int
het
ownshi
p?"
Her
:"
yeswewer
ebut.
..
"
Me:
"t
hat
'sal
lIneededtoknoworar
eyougoi
ng
t
otel
lmethereason?"
Shebli
nkedawayt
het
ear
s,t
hist
icketIwasn'
t
shout
ing

Her
:"
pleasef
orgivemeShanduIr
eal
l
ywantt
o
makethismarr
iagewor
k"
Me:
"r
esi
gn"
Her
:"
youknowIcan'
tdot
hat
"
Me:"i
t'
snotli
keweneedthemoneyandy ou
know,youcanfocusontheproperti
esweown,
hel
patt hecompanyandthemosti mportant
thi
ngisthatyoucanmakemef eel
li
key our
husband.Youshoul
ddost uf
fthatwivesdo"

Shel
ookedl
i
keshewasaboutt
obur
st

Her
:"
okayShanduIwi
l
lresi
gnf
ir
stt
hing
t
omor
rowmor
ning"
Me:"
goodnowl
etmegogetmyt
hingsandwe'
l
l
go"

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Idon'tknowhowt ofeel
atthi
smoment
whetherIshouldbef eel
ingguil
tyforsl
eeping
wit
hmyt win'shusbandorhappyt hatt
he
husbandf uckedmegoodorf eelbadthathe
actuall
yfuckedmeandl eftwithhiswife
SinceIwokeupveryearly(
notl
ikeIsl
ept
,I
start
edwitht
rai
ning.Idon'
tknowwhereJanei
s
andherphoneisoff.MyphonebeepedandI
checkedthemessage

'
thanksf orev
eryt
hingyou'
vedonef ormetwin.
Nicosay syoutal
kedtohim aboutsavi
ngour
mar r
iage.Wil
lcomelaterontogiveyouthe
detai
ls'

Irol
ledmyey esandearsfoundmy sel
fcry
ing.I
hateNicoforcomingintomylif
eandturni
ng
thi
ngsupsidedown,I'
llnev
errecov
erfor
betr
ayingmyt wi
ntwice

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Havi
ngtor esi
gnfrom workwasthehar
dest
t
hingI'
vehadt odo.Il
ivedmyjobandnowIhad
t
osacrif
iceitformymar r
iage

Idrovetotheschoolandhadev er
ythi
ng
checkedthenvisi
tedShanduatwor kduri
ng
l
unchtime.Heseemedshockedt oseeme
enter
inghisoff
icewithalunchboxthathad
homecookedf ood

Hi
m:"
whatal
ovel
ysur
pri
se"

Hegotupandhuggedme
Me:
"Idi
dit
"
Hi
m:"don'
tsayi
twi
thsuchdi
sappoi
ntment
wi
fey
"
Me:
"Il
ovemyj
ob"
Hi
m:"
andIl
ovey
oumf
azi
wam"
Me:"
Ilov
eyoutooandI
'
m happyt
hatIdi
ditf
or
agoodcause"
Hi
m:"ofcour
seyoudidnowal
lwehavet
odois
f
ocusoneachotherandmaki
ngthi
smarr
iage
t
hebestthatwecan"
Me:"wowShandu,younev
ersaythi
ngsl
i
ket
hat
butIreal
l
ylov
ey oumyhusband"
Hi
m:"
nowl
et'
seatI
'
m st
arv
ing"
Me:
"whynot
"

Themi
nut
eIopenedt
heTuppawar
eli
dandt
he
smel
lofr
iceandmassal
areachedmynose,
I
di
dn'
twastet
imebutvomit
ed

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Kemisetsodidn'
tcomebackbutI '
m gl
adshe
di
dn'totherwi
seshewoul dhav
enotbeenhappy
l
earningthatMxoli
sispentt
henight

I
twast hemostwonder f
ulnightofmylif
e,we
madelovethenspentthenighttalki
ngabout
ourf
uture.Wedecidedtogivethingsatryand
r
aiseRemoasacoupl
e

Iknowhe'sdonesomebadthingsbutwho
hasn'
t?SoIam gi
vinghi
m achanceli
keever
y
humanbeingshouldbegi
ven.Il
ovehim,al
ways
haveevenwhenhewaswi t
hCancer.

Sl
eepingwi t
hhimt hatni
ghtwasamist
akebut
atl
eastithasbroughtusabeauti
ful
babythat
bri
ngsust oget
her.Alif
eti
mebond

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I
'm notf
avour
ingKhensanehl
e canYal
lbe
pat
ient
 I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t36

Tsakane

Iwasembar r
assedaft
erv omit
inginShandu'
s
off
ice.Ididn'
thesi
tat
ebutdr ovestr
aighttot
win.
Ihadgot t
enusedtonotknocki ngsoIjust
bargedinandwentst r
aighttothebathroom t
o
washmyf ace

Ihear
dherfootstepsf
oll
owi
ngmeandItur
ned
tofi
ndherpassionherl
ipsi
ndi
smay
,hernose
washighi
ntheai r

Me:
"I
'm sor
ryt
ojustbar
gei
n"
Her
:"
Ihopet
hisisthelastt
imeTsakane,
I
woul
dn'
tdothati
ny ourhouse"
Me:
"Ni
coi
sgoi
ngt
ost
artaski
ngquest
ions"
Her
:"
about
?"

Wemadeourwaytoherbedandl
aydown
f
aci
ngeachot
her

Me:
"It
hrewupi
nhi
sof
fi
ce"
Her
:"
ewe"
Me:
"butIwantust
otal
kaboutMusa"
Her
:"
fat
herGod"

Me:
"Soy
ousl
eptwi
thhi
m?"
Her
:"
Ofcour
seIdi
dI'
m ol
denough"
Me:
"Ihopey
ouusedpr
otect
ion"
Her
:"
Yout
hinkI
'
m dumb"
Me:
"I
'mj
ustsay
ing.Lookatmeconf
used"
Her
:"
IfIwer
etogetpr
egnantatl
eastI
'
dknow
whothefat
heri
s"
Me:
"WowKhensane"

Iwashur tbutignor
edit
,Itol
dherwhat
happenedbet weenMusaandIandwet r
ied
putt
ingourheadst oget
hertounder
stand
ever
y t
hing

°
°
°
°

Bonang
Iwaslayi
ngonhi
schestwhi
l
eRemowason
hercr
ib

Hi
m:"I
'm sohappytohav
ey oui
nmylif
e, Idi
dn'
t
r
eal
isethatyouandIwouldendupl
i
ket his"
Me:
"wor
stpar
tasRemo'
spar
ent
s"
Him:"IwantRemot
oexper
ienceev
ery
thi
ngI
neverdid"
Me:"
yeahconsi
der
ingourf
ather
'swer
enev
er
f
atherfi
gur
es"
Him:"
mor er
easonIdon'
twantRemot
o
exper
iencewhatIwentt
hrough"
Me:
"youcant
alkt
ome"
Hi
m:"
ther
e'sr
eal
l
ynotmucht
osayot hert
han
myol
dmanusedt odoi
shor
ri
blet
hings"
Me:
"hor
ri
blest
uffl
i
ke?
"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
twantt
otal
kabouti
t"

Inowunderst
oodwhyMxolisi
treat
edCancer
thewayhedid.It
ri
edt
alki
nghimt ogethel
p
andheagreed

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Igothomeandputdownmyt hi
ngsthen
headedupstai
rs,
Iopenthedoorsl
owlyand
caughtTsakanehol
dingherbel
l
y
Me:
"Let
'
sdi
scusst
hispr
egnancy
"

Shet
urnedshar
plyobv
iousl
ynotexpect
ingme

Her
:"
huh?
"
Me:
"Soy
our
eal
l
yar
epr
egnant
?"
Her
:"
Itr
iedt
ell
i
ngy
oubut.
.."
Me:
"noI
t'
snotmi
ne"
Her
:"
letmeex
plai
npl
ease"
Me:"
itcan'
tpossi
blybemi newhi
leyouwer
e
busycheat
ingwit
ht hatShezi
doctor
"
Her
:"
Iknowbutt
hatwasami
stakeIl
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Ishoul
dn'
thav
etr
ust
edy
ouTsakane"
Her
:"
ify
oucoul
dletmet
ryt
oexpl
ain"
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
ocont
inuewi
tht
hisanymor
e"
Her
:"
Shandu"
Me:"
cancel
thear
rangement
s.Theweddi
ngi
s
of
f"
Her
:"
let
'sber
easonabl
e"

Idi
dn'twanttohearanyofit,
Ican'trai
se
anotherman'
schildespeci
all
yifthatmanis
Shezi.Myphoner anganditwasNt ombitel
li
ng
met hatshewasinlabour,
Irushedoutleavi
ng
Tsakane

°
°
°

Khensane

Ihel
pedJanepackhert
hingsev
ent
houghIwas
v
erysadaboutherl
eav
ing

Me:
"Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
ouJane"
Her
:"
sowi
l
lIbutpr
omi
semesomet
hing"
Me:
"any
thi
ng"
Her
:"
stayawayf
rom Ni
co"
:
Me"
huh?
"
Her:
"Iknowy ousleptwi
thhim,don'
tdo
anyt
hingthatwil
ljeopar
diseyourr
elat
ionshi
p
wit
hy oursi
ster"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay
"
Her:
"youdon'thav
etosayanyt
hingal
lyouhave
t
odoi sleavetheguyal
one,
hewon'tl
eavehis
wif
efory ou"
Me:
"okay
"

Iwassohur
tbecauset
het
rut
hal
way
shur
ts.I
don'tknowwhatIwasthinki
ng.Ihel
pedher
si
lentl
ythenshehandedmemyphone, i
twas
TsakaneandIfel
tguil
ty

Her
:"
twi
n":
"canIcomeov
ermt
ase?
"
Me:
"yousoundl
i
key
ouar
ecr
ying"
Her
:"
Nicohascancel
l
edt
heweddi
ng"
Me:
"okaycome"
Her
:"
I'
m onmyway
"
Me:
"pl
easebecar
eful
"

Janewasey
eingmei
nawayIdi
dn'
tl
ike

Me:
"t
heweddi
ngi
sof
fJane"
Her
:"
Ihopey
ouknowt
hati
t'
syourf
aul
t"
Me:
"pl
easeJanedon'
t"
Her
:"f
ixt
hatcal
lNicoandtal
ktohi
mint
o
get
ti
ngbackwithTsakane"

Ial
mostcr
iedbutIdeci
dedt
ocal
lhi
m

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Ismiledatmyselfwhi
lelooki
ngatthemi rr
or.
Myt ummywasget ti
ngbacki nt
oshapeandmy
babywasgr owingbi
ggerandbet t
er.Mxoli
si
wast aki
ngcareofusfinanci
al.
Kemi set
so
peepedin
Her
:"
youar
egl
owi
nggi
rl
"
Mr
:"
ohheyt
her
elongt
ime"
Her
:"
soy
ouar
ebackwi
thMxol
i
si?
"
Me:
"yup"
Her
:"
andy
ou'
vebeensl
eepi
ngwi
thhi
m?"
Me:
"asknoquest
ionsandhearnol
i
es"

Shewal
kedov
ert
omeandf
acedme

Her:
"act
uall
yit
'sdi
sgusti
ng,
Remoist
ooyoung
yety
oual r
eadylet
ti
ngthatr
api
stj
umponyour
bed"

Isl
appedherandshecoul
dhav
ehi
tbackbut
shedi
dn't
Me:"nowyoul
istenher
emi ssy.Iwon'
tl
etyou
di
srespectmethatway.I
fy oufeel
li
keyouar
ea
womangetout "
Her:"
fi
nebuti t
'sst
il
ldoesn'tchangethefact
thatyouletyouinarapistanddon'tcrywhenhe
doest hesamet hi
ngtoRemo"
Me:
"hewon'
t"
Her
:"
whataboutCancer
?"
Me:
"whatabouther
?"
Her
:"
not
hingI
'
llmov
eoutbutt
oni
ght
"

Idon'
tknowwhyshe'
sagainstt
hisbutIwi
l
lnot
changehowIf
eelbecauseofCancer

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t37

Ni
co

Iwaswait
ingatt
hehospi
talwi
thnoonetell
i
ng
meanythi
ng.Whenmyphonerangwi t
hKhensi
onthescr
eenItr
iedt
oignor
eitbutIcoul
dn'
t

Me:
"I
'm busycan'
ttal
k"
Her
:"
Tsakaneneedsy
ou"
Me:
"I
'mf
aci
ngaser
iouspr
obl
em r
ightnow"
Her:
"pr
omisemeyou'
l
lcomet
omypl
aceaf
ter
deal
ingwi
thwhat
ever
"
Me:
"I
'l
lcomedon'
twor
ry"
Her
:"
okaygoodl
uck"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Thedoct
orapproachedmewi thagl
oomylook.
Hetol
dmet hatNtombi l
ostt
hebaby.Ir
ushed
tot
hewardtocomf orther

If
oundherbr
uisedandbat
ter
ed

Me:
"di
dyourboy
fri
enddot
his?
"
Her
:"
itdoesn'
tmat
ter
"
Me:
"hebeaty
ouupwhi
l
eyouwer
epr
egnant
?"
Her
:"
noIf
ell
"
Me:"
andtoreyourf
aceli
ket
hathuhhe'sgotme
t
odealwith?Wipeyourt
ear
syoudidthist
o
your
sel
f"

Shedi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ngsoImadesome
cont
act
stohav
ehi
m sor
ted

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Hewal kedinanddidn'tevenl
ookatme,my
eyeswer epuff
yfrom allt
hecryi
ng.Ihav
ebeen
speakingtotwinonthephoneandshesai dhe
promisedtohearherout

Ifol
l
owedhi
mtot
hebedr
oom andhegoti
n,I
gotint
oo
Me:
"l
et'
stal
k"
Hi
m:"
noIhav
eaheadache"
Me:"t
heweddingi
sst
il
lon.Iwon'
tcancel
it
becauseofonesi
l
lyf
aul
t"
Hi
m:"
youdi
dn'
tj
ustcheatbuty
oul
ethi
m hi
tit
r
aw"
Me:
"Iapol
ogi
sedandi
twon'
thappenagai
n"
Hi
m:"washethatgood?i
shebiggerthan
me?doeshemakey oucum honey?
"
Me:
"youar
ehur
ti
ngmeShandu"
Hi
m:"
don'
t"
Me:
"I
'l
ldoapat
erni
tyt
est
"
Hi
m:"
wil
lchangenot
hing"
Me:"l
i
stenhereShandukandaba,
Mthiy
a
ngenkomo.Abany
ebethi
yangamahlahl
a"
Hi
m:"
don'
tdot
hati
t'
sdi
srespect
ful
"
Me:
"t
heweddi
ngcont
inueswhet
hery
oul
i
kei
t
ornot
"
Hi
m:"
can'
tfi
ndpeacei
nmyownhousear
gh"

Hegotupandtookabagandpackedaf ew
thi
ngsthenhel
eft
.Icr
iedandcri
edbutIwas
seri
ousaboutt
hewedding.He'
smyhusband
andtil
ldeat
hdousapart

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Kemisetsodi
dn'
thesi
tat
etotakeal
lher
bel
ongingstogol
ivewit
hJ,Igavehi
m str
ict
i
nst
ruct
ionsnott
ohur
thert
hough.

Ist
il
lcar
eaboutmyl i
tt
lesist
erandIdon'
tli
ke
herr
elat
ionshi
pwithJplushim andIhav
ebeen
ver
ydist
antlat
ely

Idi
dmyhy gienepr
ocess,lot
ionedandputon
si
mplejeansandkickswithacapt henprepar
ed
Remo.IwokeMxoli
si who'
ssnor i
ngwas
muffl
ed,hegotinverylat
ewi t
habadl ycut
handandrefusedt
ot al
kaboutit

Hi
m:"
what
?"
Me:
"wear
eleav
ingf
ort
hecheckup"
Hi
m:"
alr
eady
?"
Me:
"wear
eal
mostl
ate"
Hi
m:"
got
othej
acketIwor
eyest
erdayandt
ake
t
hemoneyt
hat
'si
nthepocket
"
Me:
"okay
"

Iwenttot
hejacketandt
her
ewer
elot
soft
wo
hundr
edrandnotes

Hi
m:"
cal
lmei
fyouneedany
thi
ng"
Me:
"somuchmoney
"
Hi
m:"
goi
t'
stenpast
"
Me:
"weneedt
otal
kwhenIr
etur
n"
Hi
m:"
alr
ight
"

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

IwenttoKhensit
ohearher eout.If
oundheri
n
ablackdr
essandsleepers.Sheopenedthe
doorandIfol
lowedhertotheli
vingroom

Her
:"
sit
"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Her
:"
I'
ll
cutst
rai
ghtt
othechase"
Me:
"okay
"
Her:
"Idon'
tknowwhathappenedbetweenyou
andmyt winbutwhat
everi
tisyouguysneedto
fi
xit
"
Me:
"nope,
shecheat
ed"

Shegav
emeadeat
hst
are
Her:
"yousl
eptwi
thmey etyouar
eangr
yather
sl
eepingwi
thanot
herperson"
Me:
"i
t'
sdi
ff
erent
"
Her
:"
howso?
"
Me:
"shewant
edt
oleav
emef
ort
hatman"
Her
:"
okayit
ssimple,becausey
ousl
eptwi
thme
,Iwanty
out of
orgiv
eher "
Me:
"she'
spr
egnant
"
Her:
"doesn'tmatt
er.Putyour
selfi
nhershoes,
if
Iwastheonepr egnantwithyourchi
l
dshe
wouldn'
tleaveyousoy oushouldnotleav
eher
"

Somehowshespokesomesensei nt
omyhead
andIthi
nkIshoul
dgi
veTsakaneachancet
odo
thet
estbecausei
tmi
ghtbemi ne
Iwaslooki
ngatherli
pswhileshespoketome
makinggestur
eswithherhands.Igr
abbedher
waistandpull
edhercl
oserthensmashedmy
l
ipsonhers

Shedidn'
tst
opmeandi nst
eadshehel
pedme
takeoffmycl
othesandwhisper
ed

Her
:"
onl
yify
oudon'
tl
eav
emyt
win"
Me:
"Iwon'
t"
Her
:"
fuckmedaddy
"

Shespreadherlegswi dewhil
eIpumpedf ast
andhardgoi ngi
nasdeepasIcoul dget.I
helpedrel
i
v emystresswithheronthecouch
thenIcarr
iedherupstair
sandhadcount l
ess
rounds
°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwassleepi
ngpeacef
ull
yonhi
schestunt
ilhe
di
stur
bedmebypl aci
ngmyheadgentl
yont he
pi
ll
ow.Iwokeupandf r
ownedashegotup

Hi
m:"
sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeant
owakey
ou"
Me:
"wher
eto?
"
Hi
m:"
bat
hroom wannahol
ditf
orme"
Me:"hel
lnoI
'
veseenandhav
ehadenoughofi
t
al
ready"
Hi
m:"
lol
il
lber
ightback"

Icheckedmyphonewhi chwasonsi lentandI

real
isedt
hattherewer ethreemissedcall
sfrom
anumberIdidn'trecognise.Idi
all
edthenumber
andamananswer ed

Hi
m:"
Khensanehi
"
Me:
"Mx
oli
si?
"
Hi
m:"
yeahi
t'
sme"
Me:
"whatdoy
ouwant
?"
Hi
m:"
tosayI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"sav
eit
"
Him:
"noI'
m bei
ngtr
uthful
,fr
om t
hedept
hofmy
hear
t,It
rul
yam sor
ry"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
andImi
ssy
ou"
Me:"
missmehow?
isn'
tBonanggi
vi
ngy
ou
goodenough?
"
Hi
m:"
let
'snotgot
her
e"
Me:"
okayt
hent
her
e'snot
hingf
ormet
osayt
o
you"

Ihungupandmyhear tsank,
Mxoli
siwast
he
l
oveofmyl i
febuthedidwhathedidandI
'
ll
neverf
orgi
vehim

Nicocamebackfrom t
hebat
hroom andwe
conti
nuedwit
hsomesmoochingand
somethingal
it
tl
edeeper

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Me:
"wast
hatCancer
?"

Heturnedunexpect
edobviousl
ynotexpect
ing
me.IwasleaningbythedoorwithRemoinmy
hands

Hi
m: "
uhm howl
onghav
eyoubeenst
andi
ng
t
here?"
Me:
"i
sthatal
lyoucar
eabout
?"
Hi
m:"
yesi
twasher
"
Me:
"gobackt
oher
"
Hi
m:"
Iwasj
ustchecki
ngher
"
Me:"i
sthatev
ennecessar
y?got
oherpl
aceand
checkher"
Hi
m:"
it
'snotwhaty
out
hink"
Me:
"whati
sitt
hen?
"
Hi
m:"
youknow,your
eal
l
yshoul
dn'
tkeent
abs
onmeit
'si
rr
it
ati
ng"
Me:
"r
eal
l
y?"
Hi
m:"
yeahBonangI
'
m noty
ourchi
l
d"

Idi
dn'
thesi
tat
et okickhim out
.Ipushedand
scr
eamedandt hreatenedt
onev erl
ethi
m see
Remo

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t38
Tsakane

HecamehomeMondaymor ninginhisjoggi
ng
cl
othesandf
oundmeonthepar t
io,heorder
ed
oneofthewor
ker
stobr
ingbreakfastthenhe
satfaci
ngme

Hi
m:"
youl
ookl
i
key
ouhav
en'
tsl
eptf
rom day
s"
Me:
"asi
fyoucar
e"
Him:
"LookTsakaneyouar
er i
ght
,Idon'
tknow
howyouputupwi t
hmychildi
shself
"
Me:
"sayy
ourpi
ece"

Theybr
oughtt
hebr
eakf
astandhehel
ped
hi
mself
Hi
m:"pl
easeeat
,you'
veal
readyl
ostal
otof
wei
ght"
Me:
"suddenl
ymywei
ghtmat
ter
s"
Hi
m:"
noi
t'
snotgoodf
ort
hebaby
"
Me:
"asi
fyoucar
e"
Hi
m:"
stopsay
ingt
hat
"
Me:
"asi
f..
."

Heputhisforkdown,tookmypl at
eandfi
l
ledit
i
nfrui
t.Hepulledmetohim andfedme
f
orceful
l
y.Whenhewasdonehewi pedmeli
ke
ali
tt
lebabythenpour
edmeagl assofwat
er

Hi
m:"
nowsomeonei
sont
hewayt
odot
het
est
"
Me:
"i
tdoesn'
tmat
terany
mor
e"
Hi
m:"
gogetr
eady
"
Me:
"I
'mf
ine"
Hi
m:"
Tsakane!
"

Igotupandwenttowashmyf
aceandputi
n
somethi
ngpresent
abl
e

°
°
°
°

Khensane

It
'ssolonelywit
houtJaneandIwasbored.My
phonebeepedandi twasNi co,
hehadsenta
coupleofthousandssayi
ngIshoul
dgopamper
my sel
fatasparinzimbali
Igotexci
tedandcall
edhim andhedi
dn'
t
answerbutIdi
dn'tst
ress,
Icall
edacaband
wenttoenjoyfr
eerel
axati
on

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Afterthetestwasdoneandthedoct
orlef
t,I
tookashowerandputonsomeshor tsanda
shirt
.Tsakanehasbeenstar
ingatmethewhole
ti
me

Me:
"Nt
ombi
lostherbabysoI
'
m goi
ngt
oget
herfrom t
hehospit
al.Tel
lthewor
ker
sto
preparearoom f
orher"
Her
:"
Ihadnoi
dea.I
'
m comi
ngwi
th"
Me:
"noy
oust
ayher
eI'
l
lber
ightback"
Her:
"t
heleastIcandoi
scomewi
thy
ou
Shandu"
Me:"r
emembert
hatwel
ostababyt
eny
ear
s
back?"
Her
:"
Icannev
erf
orgett
hatpai
n"
Me:
"soIdon'
twantt
oopenol
dwounds"
Her
:"
Iunder
standt
hanks"
Me:
"I
'm comi
ngr
ightnow"

Imadeasift
oleavebutshewaslooki
ngl
i
kea
chi
ckent
hatwantedtolayeggs

Me:
"what
?"
Her
:"
uhm whencanweexpectt
her
esul
ts?
"
Me:
"t
omor
row"

Ihadpai dal
otofmoneyt
ospeedupt he
process.Iwant
edtomakesur
ethatIdo
everyt
hingri
ght

Thelov eIhav
ef orTsakanesurpr
isesmedail
y,
especiall
ywhenIt hi
nkIdon'
tlovehertof
ind
outthatIreal
lydo

°
°
°
°

Bonang
Mxol i
sidi
dn'
thesit
atetowalkoutonmeand
thebabyallbecauseofKhensane!Ishouldhav
e
knownt hatt
hiswouldhappen.Tomor rowI'
m
goingtomakesur ethatnot
hinginherlif
e
wor ksout

Ist
ruggl
edtofal
lasl
eepespeci
all
ybecause
Mxoli
sidi
dn'
tevenbothert
ocal
l.Itookmy
phoneanddial
ed

Her
:"
doy
ouknowwhatt
imei
tis?
"
Me:
"ofcour
seIdobutI
'
vegotascoop"
Her
:"
okayI
'
mli
steni
ng"
Me:
"I
'm goingt
osendusanemai
laboutt
he
Mal
uleka-
Mbathadr
ama"
Her
:"
thatIcan'
twai
ttor
ecei
ve"
Me:
"r
emembert
okeepmeanony
mous"
Her
:"
I'
m et
hical
"
Me:
"good"

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Af
teragreatday
, Ideci
dedtostopbythe
mansi
on.Nicodidn'tl
ookhappytoseemebutI
di
dn'
tcar
eandTsakanewashappywi thmy
ar
ri
val
Her
:"
whatapl
easantsur
pri
se"
Me:
"want
edt
oseehowy
ouhol
dingup"
Her
:"
I'
m okaywear
eaboutt
odi
shup"
Me:
"goodcausesI
'
m st
arv
ing"

Shandul
eftt
het
abl
ejustbef
orewest
art
ed
eat
ing

Hi
m:"
I'
ll
bewi
thNt
ombi
"
Her
:"
butShanduwehav
eaguest
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m hopi
ngt
heguestdoesn'
tmi
nd"
Me:
"notatal
l
"
Hi
m:"
thanks"

Idon'tknowwhyhewasn'
thi
susual
sel
fbuti
t
di
dn'tmat t
er
Me:
"sot
winhowar
eyou?
"
Her
:"
ner
vous"
Me:
"why
?"
Her
:"
I'
m awai
ti
ngt
her
esul
tsf
ort
heDNA"
Me:
"whenar
etheycomi
ng?
"
Her
:"
tomor
row"
Me:
"shuusi
s"
Her
:"
won'
tbeabl
etosl
eep"
Me:
"I
'l
lsl
eepwi
thy
oudon'
twor
ry"
Her
:"
please"

Wet al
kedaboutthepossi
bleout
comesof
tomorrowandall.Twi
nisalovel
ypersonand
sleepi
ngwithNicowasgivi
ngmet hecreeps
especial
lywhenshetal
kedofhowmuchshe
l
ov eshim
Wewerenowinaspar
eroom undert
hecov
ers
wi
thhert
ell
i
ngmeaboutNico

Her
:"
Iknowt heweddi
ngwaspl
annedbutIdo
l
ovehim andhelov
esmetoo"
Me:
"whatmakesy
ousosur
e?"
Her
:"
Icant
ell
from t
hewayhel
ooksatme"
Me:
"ohokay
"

I
twasal
ongni
ghti
ndeed

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

t
obecont
inued.
..
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t39

Khensane

Ihadfor
cedsl
eeponlyt
obewokenby
someonegett
ingi
nsi
dethecov
ers.It
ri
ed
screami
ngbuthehadhi
shandonmymout h.

Iwaswear i
ngashirtonl
ysoheeasil
yputi
tin
andmov edslowl
y.Imoanedsof
tl
ywhenIhear d
adif
ferentt
ouch,
mor eli
kear
oughpat.Ifl
i
cked
myey esopentofi
ndTsakanest
aringatme

Her
:"
wetdr
eamsKhensaner
eal
l
y?"
Me:
"I
'm sor
rybutI.
..
"
Her
:"
don'
twor
ryi
t'
sokaybutIhopei
tsel
fnot
aboutMusa"
Me:
"def
ini
tel
ynot
"
Her
:"
Ican'
tsl
eep"
Me:
"don'
tpani
cyoumi
ghtber
eli
eved"
Her
:"
whati
fI'
m not
?"
Me:"ei
therwayyouandNicoar
enev
ergoi
ngt
o
separatesodon'
tst
ress"
Her
:"
howdoy
ouknowt
his?
"
Me:
"mynamei
sKhensaneCANCER"
Her
:"
lol
okay
"
Me:
"nowt
ryget
ti
ngsomeshutey
e"

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Iwentf ormyusual jogbutthisti

meIr an,Ir
ana
l
ongdi stancetry
ingnott othinkaboutthe
resul
ts.Idon'tt
hinkI'l
lhandlerai
singShezi'
s
chil
dbutI '
llbedoingitforKhensane

WhenIgotbackIfoundbothtwi
nsawakeby
t
heTVr oom l
ooki
ngv er
ycuri
ous.Isatdownon
t
hesingl
ecouch

Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Tsaki
:
"wear
ewai
ti
ngf
ort
henews"
Kheensi
:
"appar
ent
lywear
ethel
atestj
uice"
Me:
"t
urnupt
hev
olumepl
ease"
Tsakanet
urnedt
hev
olumeupandt
henews

Reporter:
"i
not hernewst heMaluleka-
Mbatha
dramacont inues,ourrel
iablesourcetol
dus
thatNicholasMbat hawassupposedt omarry
theothertwinknownt ousasCancerashi s
secondwi fe,apparent
lyhehasbeenhav i
ngan
affai
rwithbot hofthem.TsakaneMbat hai
s
alsorumour edtohav eforcedhertwinto
commi tsuicideafter..
."

KhensanegotupandTsakanecov
eredherear
s

Khensi
:
"swi
tchi
tof
f"
Me:
"I
'l
lhandl
ethi
s"

It
ookt
heremoteandswi
tchedtheTVthen
madet
hreecal
l
s.Someonewil
lpayfort
his
°
°
°
°

Bonang

Whatwassai donthenewswasn'treall
ywhatI
wanted.Thatcouldn'
tpossi
blyhurtKhensane
butiti
ncludeshertwinaswellbutthenserves
them ri
ght.Theythi
nktheycanhav ealuxur
ious
l
ifest
ylewhilesomeofuswor kedhar dtobe
successful

Atthi
smomentIwasver
ybr okebecauseI
Haddenham t
opayf
orastupidthi
ng.Ayanda
call
edandIignoredi
tshethensentatext
sayingNi
coissuingtheTVchannelf
ortheli
es
theysai
d.Ical
ledher

Her
:"
Ithoughty
ousaidal
lthoset
hingsar
etr
ue
sowhyishesuing?
"
Me:
"t
heyar
etr
ueI
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou"
Her:
"peopl
earegoingt
othinkthatIhavea
pr
oblem wit
hCancerespecial
l
yaf t
erthe
i
nter
v i
ewIdid.NowI'
mindeept roubl
e"
Me:
"Ni
cowon'
ttaket
hecasef
art
rustme"
Her
:"
ifIgodownsodoy
ouBonang"

Whothehel
ldoesshet
hinksheismaking
thr
eat
sli
ket
hattome?Ishouldn'
thav
et r
ust
ed
her
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Someonei sdef
init
elyontousandwedon't
knowwhybutIt rustNicot
omakesurethat
theyal
lpayfori
t.Deepdown,Iknewithad
somethingtodowi t
hMusabutIdidn'
tsay
anythi
ng

Khensanewasn'
thandli
ngt henewssowell
and
wasgoingupanddownt hehouseplayi
ngwith
herfi
nger
s.Igotupandwentt ocheckon
Ntombibutshewouldn'
tletmei n
Somuchdr amawasgoingoni nsi
dethi
shouse
anditwasallt
oomuch.Ical
ledSofia,
oneof
mywor ker
swho'sbeenher
eev ersi
nce.Iasked
hertobri
ngmesomet abl
etsformyheadache
andwhenshedi d,
sheal
sohandedmeawhi te
envel
ope

Her
:"
thi
swasdel
i
ver
edt
enmi
nut
esago"
Me:
"hasany
oneseeni
t?"
Her
:"nomam,
itwasdel
i
ver
edaf
terMrMbat
ha
l
eft
"
Me:
"andmyt
win?
didsheseei
5?"
Her
:"
nomam"
Me:
"okaypl
easedon'
ttel
lany
oneabouti
t"
Her
:"
asy
ouwi
shmam"
Myhear t
beatchangedandIst r
uggledto
breat
heforasecond, t
hesewer etheresul
tsof
thepater
nit
ytest.Iwentupstai
rsholdi
ngthe
envel
opemaki ngsurethatKhensanedidn'
t
fol
lowme.

Igotinandlockedthedoor
,satonthebedand
tookadeepbr eat
handopenedi t
.Ist
aredatt
he
result
slongandhardnotknowinghowt oown
feelaboutwhatIsaw

Ithi
nkmymi ndf
rozeforaf
ewmi nut
esthenI
fel
tthetear
sbur
ningmycheeks,
Ihadtothi
nk
caref
ull
y

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Mylawy eradvisedmenott otakethisfurt

her
becauseitcoulddr agonforyearsandI'l
lbedry
bytheendoft hecasesoIhadapeacef ul
meetingwi t
hthepeopl eofthenewschannel
andtheymadesur ethatthenewsr eport
erwas
fi
redandt heygav emear easonabl
eof f
erbutI
wasgoingt ogett othebott
om ofthisevenif
i
t'
snott helegalroute

ItwaslatewhenIgothomeandst rangely
, i
t
wasawf ull
yquiet
.Iputdownmykey sand
star
tedwithNt omb,Iknockedsof
tlybutthere
wasnor eply.
Isawthecookandaskedheri
fther
ehasbeen
aparcel
deli
ver
edandshesaidnojustl
i
kethe
guysatthegat
e

Iwentt
otheguestr oom t
hatKhensaneusual
ly
st
aysinandthereshewasdoingsomeYoga
st
ret
chesdispl
ayingherfi
neass.Shedidn'
tsee
medrooli
ngoverher

It
henwentt omybedr oom andcouldn'tfi
nd
Tsakane,Iwentt
oshowert henopent he
wardrobetogetsomethingsimplef
ordi nner,
it
wasthenwhenIr eal
i
sedt hathercl
otheswer e
missi
ng

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Afterput
ti
ngRemot osl
eepIcall
edKemi set
so
becauseIdon'
tl
ikehowwe'vefoughtespeci
all
y
overaguy

Her
:"
what
?"
Me:
"pl
easecomebackhome"
Her
:"
noBonang,Iwi
l
lnotsur
roundmy
sel
fwi
th
anegat
ivev
ibe"
Me:
"Mx
oli
sii
shar
mless,
Iswear
"
Her
:"
I'
m goodher
ewi
thJ"
Me:
"youcan'
tpr
omot
ecohabi
tat
ion"
Her
:"
say
swho?
"
Me:
"atl
eastcomecheckonRemot
hen"
Her:
"t
hatIcant
rybutonl
yify
ourboy
fri
endi
sn'
t
home"
Me:
"deal
"

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Icall
edev
ery
onedownstair
s,ev
eryonecame
exceptNt
ombiandTsakaneofcourse

Me:
"Khensaneandt
hewor
ker
s,wher
eis
Tsakane"
Khensi
:
"she'
sinherr
oom"
Me:
"she'
snot
!"
Khensi
:
"shedidn'
ttel
lmei
fshewasgoi
ng
somewhere"
Wor ker
:"
wesawherleav
inginhercarsome
hoursagojustaf
tery
oursi
sterl
eftmaybeshe
fol
lowedher"
Me:
"okaygoodni
ght
"

Theyallwentt
othei
rcot
tagesout
sideand
Khensaneputdownherphonewhi
leItri
ed
cal
li
ngNt ombi

Her
:"
herphonei
sof
f"
Me:"
soisNtombi'
sbutl
et'
snotpani
c.Her
:"
Let
'
s
eatI
'
m sur
et hey
'l
lcomeback"
Me:
"Tsakanet
ookhercl
othes"
Her
:"
why
?"
Me:"
howwouldIknowbecausey
ouwer
ethe
oneint
hehouse!
"

Irepl
i
edannoy
ed.Shedef
ini
tel
yknows
somethi
ng

Her
:"
don'
tshoutatmeI
'
m noty
ourwi
fe"
Me:
"youshoul
dconsi
dergoi
ngt
oyourpl
ace"
Her
:"
I'
m notgoi
ngt
her
ebymy
sel
f"
Me:"I
'
llt
akey
ou.Youar
esuf
focat
ingmei
nmy
house"
Her
:"
fucky
ou"
Me:
"whatdi
dyousay
?"
Her
:"
Isai
dFUCKYOU!
"
Ist
eppedcl
osert
oherandshedidn'
tmove.I
admir
edherbr
averyandki
ssedher
.She
sl
appedme

Her
:"
whati
fTsakanewal
ksi
n?"
Me:
"whati
fshedoesn'
t"
Her
:"
noy
ouwer
eri
ght
,Ihav
etogot
omypl
ace"

Shetri
edgoingupt hest
air
sbutIgrabbedher
andpinnedhertotheground.Shetr
iedfi
ghti
ng
mebutIwentf orherneckunti
lIfel
therbody
sur
render

Icarr
iedhertoaguestroom t
hati
srar
elyused
andtoreoffherdr
essthensuckedonher
nippl
es
Her
:"
youmakemakel
oosecont
rol
"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Her
:"
it
'snott
rueandy
ouknowt
hat
"
Me:
"i
t'
st r
ue.Ir
eal
l
ylov
eyouKhensane
Mal
uleka"

Ispunherar
oundandhititf
rom theback.She'
s
afreak,
shemovesherbodylikeshe'
sfrom
Brazi
landIf
oundmyselfcal
li
ngmymot her'
s
nameasIcum onherback.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Wantedt
ogiveyout
hisasabonusbutmy
phonewasact
ingup
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t40

Bonang

IwassohappywhenKemmycamet ovi
sitand
spendti
mewithRemo,theywer
egluedt
oeach
otherl
i
kemotheranddaught
erandIwasabi t
j
ealous

°
°
°
°

Khensane
Mycooki ewasonf i
rewhenIwokeupbecause
Nicodidn'
tev enletmebreat
hlastnightbutI
havetosayt hatitwasthebestni
ghtev er
.We
tr
iednewst uffandaddedsomespi ce

IknowI'm goingtomaket hathear

tl
esschoi
ce
butIcan'tcontr
olmy sel
fwhenitcomestoNico
andIprayt wi
nnev erfi
ndsoutbecauseshewil
l
defi
nit
elydropdead.Idon'twanttobehissi
de
chiqbutIdefini
tel
ycan'tl
ettheDgo

Hewasn'tbymybedsi
desopr obabl
yTsakane
hadcomebackorsomethingsoItookal ong
bat
handwentdownstair
sforbreakf
ast.Iwas
al
onebutIdidn'
tmi
nd.Iateandateli
keamad
per
sonwhichwasafir
stbecauseIam v ery
car
eful
abouttheamountoffoodIeat
Aftereati
ngtheeggsandsausages,
Iwentfor
thefri
dgeandhelpedmyselft
osomei cecr
eam
andy oghurt

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Igottosayt hatI'
mthel uckiestmanaliv
e, Iget
tohaveTsakaneasawi feandhertwinasmy
bae.Theymaybet winsbutt heyaredif
ferent
downt here.Tsakaneiswet ,verywet
,theki nd
ofwetev erymanwant stocomehomet o.Her s
hasthatwar mthandj uicethatmarksherasa
wif
e
Ontheot herwehav eKhensanewhoi svery
ti
ghtanddeep, herbul
letholedri
vesmecr azy
andthet hi
ngsshedoesar eflames.Bothof
them aresweetandIdef i
nit
elyam keepi
ng.I
knowi tsoundsgreedybutI'
m aman.Av er
y
l
uckyman

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Ispentthedayi
nthepool
whi l
eNicokept
glanci
ngatmefrom t
hebalcony,
hewas
worki
ngonhi
slapt
opbutwekeptsext
ingand
f
li
rt
ing

Itookof fmyswimmingbraandsenthima
pictureofmyboobs,herepl
iedwit
hapictur
e
ofhi ser
ectedD.Igi
ggl
edthi
nkingofal
lthe
thingsthati
tdoestome

Ifel
tmycookiemakingbut
ter
fl
iesandItol
d
himthatIwant
edhim.Hedidn'
trespondbuta
fewminutesl
aterhewasbythepoolsi
de

Hi
m:"
youar
eav
erybadgi
rl
"
Me:
"ohy
eah?
"
Him:
"nowyoumadedaddyl
eav
ehi
swor
kand
comethi
ssidet
ohaveyou"
Me:
"ohmakesmewannascr
eam ohl
ala.Come
i
nsi
de"
Hi
m:"
Imustcum i
nsi
de?
"
Me:
"l
olhowev
ery
ouwant
.I'
m al
lyour
s"

Mybr averyisonanotherl
evel.Mytwincould
walkinonusanymi nutebutIdidn'
tcar
e.I'
m
surethey'
v eneverhadsexintheswimmi ng
poolbuttons,IKhensaneMalulekahadthe
pri
vil
eget odoso

Weweredist
urbedbyoneoft
hewor
ker
swho
l
ookedatusli
keweweremad

Her
:"
tel
ephonef
ormi
ssCancer
"
Me:
"f
rom who?
"
Her
:"
Idon'
tknowmam"
Md:
"okayI
'
m comi
ng"
Ni
co:
"Sof
iaI
'
m sur
eyouknowt
haty
ouar
ein
thi
shouset
ocl
eanandnott
alki
ngr
ubbi
sht
o
other
s?"
Her
:"
cer
tai
nlysi
r"

Shehadherheadbowedal
lthet
imeandI
rushedt
othephone

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her
:"
mtasei
t'
sme"
Me:
"wher
ear
eyou?
"
Her
:"
whatdoesShandusayaboutt
her
esul
ts?
"
Me:
"t
hey
'vear
ri
ved?
"
Her:
"yest
heyareatthebedr oom.Givehi
ma
cl
ueandtextmehisr eacti
on.Gott
agoby eand
pl
easedon'tment
iont hi
scalltoShandu"

Idon'
tknowwhat
'
shappeni
ngsoIcal
l
ed
Shanduandtol
dhimthatt
her
esul
tswer
eint
he
bedroom.Hewenti
nandcamebackwit
ha
str
angeface

Me:
"t
alkt
ome"
Hi
m:"
thebabyi
smi
ne"
Me:
"yooh"

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Someonewasbangi
ngt
hedoorv
eryl
oudl
yand
i
fIdon'tgetupitwi
llbr
eak.Imademyway
thereandopenedwithanatti
tuder
eadyto
attackbuti
nst
eadtherewereabouttenpol
ice
menst andi
ngoutsi
de

Me:
"uhm ev
eni
ng"
Of
fi
cer:
"ev
eni
ngmam wear
elooki
ngf
ort
his
man"

Theyshowedmeapictur
eofMxoli
siand
Kemmysawi tt
oobecauseshehadfol
lowed
metothedoor

Her
:"
inconnect
ionof
?"
Offi
cer:
"i
t'
sconf
ident
ial
dependi
ngony
our
r
elati
on"
Me:
"eer
hIhav
en'
tseenhi
minday
s"
Of
ficer
:"
wehav
eawar
rantt
osear
cht
hewhol
e
pl
ace"
Me:
"he'
snother
e"
Of
fi
cer
:"
mam pl
easecor
respond"
Me:
"okaygoahead"
Off
icer
:"
sear
chthewhol
epl
aceguy
sandl
eav
e
nostoneunt
urned"

Headdressedtohiscrewandtheywentinand
tur
nedt
hepl aceupsidedownwakingRemoup.
Theydi
dn'tbothert
idi
nguptheyjustl
eft

Me:
"It
oldy
ouhei
sn'
ther
e"

Af
tert
heyl
eft
,Ihadt
oanswert omysist
ers
whowasal
readyhav
ingherhandbagwit
hher
Me:
"youcan'
tl
eastnowKemmydon'
tbest
upi
d"
Her
:"
Iwar
nedy
ouaboutt
hatguyhe'
sadanger
"
Me:
"butst
il
lyoucan'
tl
eav
e"
Her
:"
wat
chme"

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Ilef
tbecauseIf el
tthatNicocouldhav
eatleast
notjudgedme.Iwon' tforgethowhedidn'
t
hesit
atetocallofft
heweddi ngtheminutehe
thoughtthebabywasn' this
Ireal
lyl
ovehim butIfeel
li
keIshoul
dgivehi
m
spacetogatherhist
houghts.Heshoul
d
apologi
seforthethi
ngshesaidandhowhe
tr
eatedme

Sofi
acamebackl ookingti
red,shetookmein
herhomeanddidn'ttell
anyonebecauseshe
seemedtounderstand.Mindyoushe'sbeen
stay
ingwi
thusfort enyears

Me:
"mamaIcookedpapandchi
cken"
Her
:"
youdi
dn'
thav
etongwanaka"
Me:
"Iwasbor
edanddi
dn'
tknowwhatt
odo"
Her
:"
all
wil
lbewel
lmychi
ld.Justgobackto
maki
ngGodyourf
ir
stl
oveandy ourbestf
ri
end"
Me:
"youar
eri
ght
.How'
smyt
win?
"
Shechockedal
i
ttl
ethensmi
l
edatme

Her
:"
let
'spr
ay"

Wepr ay
edlongandhar dandIcoul
dn'
thear
whatshewassay ingbutsheWashbour
neina
ver
ydeeppray er
.Sheevenhadtear
safter
wards.
IguessIhavetogivehermoremoneymay be
shehasproblems

IthankGodforherlet
ti
ngmest
aywi
thherunt
il
Idecideonmynex tst
ep

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Thi
ngsar
eaboutt
otur
n
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t41

Ni
co

Wehav ebeensearchi
ngforTsakanet hewhole
nighttonoav ai
l.Iwaswor r
iedbecausesheleft
becauseofhowIt r
eat
edher ,Ir
egret
mi st
reati
ngher.Herabsencemar ksthatIr
eal
ly
can'tdowi t
houther

Iparkedthecarandt
urnedt
oKhensaneont
he
passengerseat

Me:
"whatar
ewegoi
ngt
odo?
"
Her
:"
thatmai
dknowssomet
hing"
Me:
"whoSof
ia?Naah"
Her
:"
let
'sst
opbyherpl
ace"
Me:"
I'
m onl
ygoi
ngbecauseIhav
erunoutof
opt
ions"

Istartedtheignit
ionanddrovetothecot
tage
si
de, Iknockedononeandt heydi
rect
edmet o
hers.Wewentt hereonfootandKhensane
knockedwhi leIremainedintheshadows

Voi
ce:
"whoi
sit
?"
Her
:"
mamapl
easeopen"

*soundsofsomeonecomi
ngt
othedoorand
unlocki
ng*

Sof
ia:
"howcanIhel
p"
Her
:"
Iam l
ooki
ngf
orTsakane"
Sof
ia:
"whywoul
dyoul
ookf
orherher
e?"
Her:
"Iknowyouhav
eher
.Ij
ustwantt
otel
lher
somethingt
hat'
sal
l
"
Sof
ia:
"Idon'
tthi
nki
t'
sagoodi
dea"

Ist
eppedi
n

Me:
"Sof
ial
etmeseemywi
fe"
Her
:"
she'
snother
e"
Me:
"pl
ease"
Tsaki
:
"what
'sgoi
ngonher
e?"

Shecamet othedoorandwel ookedateach

otherforal
ongt i
me.Idon'
tknowhowshe' s
feel
ingandIdidn'
tknowwhatt odo
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Wewerenowsi
tt
inginthecart
alki
ngi
npriv
ate
whi
lrmyt
winwasinsi
dewithSofi
aandri
ght
nowmyhear
twasbleeding

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryf
orev
ery
thi
ngI
'
vesai
danddi
d"
Me:
"okay
"
Him:"
cheati
ngiswrongbuti
tdi
dn'
tgi
vemet
he
r
ighttoconcl
udethi
ngsmyownway "
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
pleasesaysomet
hing"
Me:
"whatcanIpossi
blesay
?"
Him:
"t
hatyouar
ecominghomewithmeri
ght
nowandthatwewi
ll
getcoupl
e'
sther
apy
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowShandu.I
'
m notsur
e"
Hi
m:"
pleasel
et'
sgohome"
Me:"oncondi
ti
ont
haty
ouwi
l
lnev
erbr
ing
cheati
ngup"
Hi
m:"
it
'sapr
omi
se"
Me:"
andthatt
hist
imewedoworkonour
marr
iagenotj
ustwor
dsbutwebot
happl
y
ef
fort
s"
Hi
m:"
Newt
on'
sthi
rdl
aw"
Me:
"okayl
et'
sgo"

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Sit
tingi
nthatcot
tagewit
hthatwomanwas
veryawkwardanduncomfort
able.Shedi
dn'
t
sayawor doranyt
hingj
ustopenedherbi
ble
andsatonherownbed

Afteraf
ewminut
eswehear dtheengine
roari
ngandt
hecarleaving.Ij
ustwentnumb.
Theylef
tmeanddidn'tevenwarnmeatl east

ThewomanputherBibl
edown,gotupandput
ontheket
tl
ethent
urnedtome
Her
:"
youcanwal
kwi
thmet
othemansi
on"
Me:
"uhm t
hanks"
Her
:"
youknewthathewasn'
tgoi
ngt
oleav
eher
f
oryouri
ght?
"
Me:"
ofcour
seIwasn'
texpect
inghi
mtol
eav
e
her
"
Her:
"I
'mjustsayi
ng.Lookatt
hesituat
ionnow.
Theylef
tashusbandandwi f
eandhedi dn'
t
evenhesit
atetol
eaveyoubehind"
Me:
"ory
oucangi
vemet
hedi
rect
ionI
'
llwal
k
t
her
emy sel
f"
Her
:"
howdoy
ousl
eepatni
ght
?"
Me:
"okayt
hat
'senough"

Istumbl
edtot
hedoorsandstr
uggl
edt
oopen.I
satdownagai
ninf
rust
rat
ion
Me:"
I'
vebeenthr
oughalotandt
hisi
smyway
ofdeal
ingwi
thever
ythi
ng?"
Her:
"ev
ery
onegoesthroughalotatsomepoint
butwedon'tr
unt
oruinotherpeopl
e'sl
iv
es"
Me:
"youwon'
tunder
stand"
Her:
"I
'v
eseenf art
ooworsesodon'
ttel
lme
aboutnotunderst
andi
ng"

Shewentwithherhygi
enepr
ocessandt
oldme
howshelostherchi
l
dren

Her:"
Iwast hesecondwi deandgavebi r
thto
twogirl
s,theywereonlyt woyearapar
t.The
fi
rstwifehadgivenbi
r t
ht oaboy.Ourhusband
abusedusandwehadt osendourchildren
awayt ogolivewit
hfami lymemberswhent he
youngestwasabout7y earsol
d, t
henwebot h
ranforourliv
es.Ineversawmychi ldr
enagain
andnei
therdi
dthefi
rstwi
fe.Shepassedon
wit
houtmeeti
ngherboy"

Shewi
pedhert
ear
sandl
ookedatt
hecl
oak

Me:
"I
'm sosor
rybutmay
bey
ou'
l
lfi
ndt
hem"
Her
:"
it
'sl
atel
et'
srun"
Me:
"I
'l
ll
eav
eNi
coal
one"
Her
:"
good"

°
°
°
°

Bonang
Ishoul
dhaveknownt hatMxoli
siwoul
dbe
nothi
ngbuttr
ouble.Igotupear
li
erbecauseI
havetogetafewt hi
ngsbythemall
.JustasI
wasabouttoleav
eMxol isi
camein

Me:"
whatar
ey oudoi
ngher
e?t
hepol
i
cewer
e
l
ooki
ngforyou"
Hi
m:"
oht
haty
eahi
tssor
ted"
Me:
"huh?
"
Hi
m:"
Iwaswi
tht
hem j
ustnow"
Me:
"whatdi
dtheywantf
rom y
ou?
"
Hi
m:"
Iwant
edaj
obt
her
eatt
hest
ati
on"
Me:
"huh?
"
Hi
m:"
youwon'
tunder
stand"
Me:
"makeme"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
twantt
obei
nter
rogat
ed,
Ijustwant
t
osl
eep"
Me:"y
oucan'
tbesur
pri
sedatmequest
ioni
ng
yourcomi
ngsandgoi
ngsify
ouli
veher
e"
Him:
"okayI
'
llt
ell
youwheny
ougetback.Her
e's
somemoney "

Hegavemeal otoft
wohundr
edrandnotes
agai
n.Iwant
edtosayal
otofthi
ngsbutIdi
dn'
t

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
Iknowt hissoundsst upidbutIwasr eadyto
forgiveShandu, wespentsomehour sinour
bedr oom t al
ki
ngaboutawayf orwardandour
mar riage.Wewer esav i
ngt hemar ri
age
becausewebel ievedt hatittakestwot otango.
Believ ememar riageissohar despeciall
y
becausey oucan'tjustpacky ourbagsand
l
eav e.Webot hagr eedthatf r
om nowwe' ll
broadent hecommuni cati
onl ine

Heleftt
ogosortthi
ngsattheoff
iceandImade
afewchangestoourceremonyfort his
weekend.Wedeci
dedtochanget hingsintoa
ver
yinti
matet
hingbecausethepubl i
cwi l
lhav
e
somethi
ngtosaysotheguestwer ef ewandall

Itookabat
ht henwenttofet
chmydr ess,
l
uckil
ywedidn'tst
optheprepar
ati
onswhile
thi
ngswererocky.Ipr
ayandhopethatnothi
ng
goeswr
ongt
hist
ime

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwascleaningupmypl acesi
nceIdon'thave
serv
ants,lucki
lyi
t'
snotabighouseotherwise
I'
ddie.Iscrubbedi
nanger,didn'
tknowwhyI
wasangr ybutIknowthatIhatedtobealone

Myphonehasn'tbeepedorany t
hingmeani
ng
noonemissesme.Igr abbedabot t
leofwi
ne
andwentt
of i
l
labubbl ebath.Igoti
nandcall
ed
Jf
orsomecat
chupbecausei
thasbeenl
ong

Iwasshockedt olearnthathe'
sinv
olvedwith
Kemisetsobecausehei sgaybutIdidn'
tj
udges.
Thenhet oldmeaboutMxol isi
andBonang
cohabi
ting.Isur
ewi l
lpaythosetwoav i
sit
sometime

WhenIf i
nishedtal
kingonthephone,Ihear
da
knock.Iquickl
ywrappedmy sel
fwit
hat owel
andrushedt othedooronl
ytofindNico

Me:
"ar
ghy
ou"
Hi
m:"
yesme"
Me:
"I
'mI'
m notnomoodfory
ousopl
easel
eav
e.
Goandpl
ayhousewit
hyourwif
e"
Imadetocloset
hedoorbuthebl
ockedmeand
ent
ered.Il
eanedagai
nstt
hecount
er

Hi
m:"Ij
ustcamebytotal
ktoy
ousi
ncey
oul
eft
wi
thoutsayi
nggoodby
e"
Me:"
whatdidy
ouexpectaf
terl
eav
ingmebyt
he
cot
tages?
"
Hi
m:"
Iwasf
ixi
ngt
hingswi
thTsakane"
Me:"
wowandt
hat
'
ssupposedt
omakemef
eel
bet
ter
?"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow"
Me:
"youbet
terl
eav
e"
Him:
"Iwantyoutoknowt
hatourf
li
ngi
sov
er.I
don'
twanttoloosemywi
fe"
Md:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
andIhope.
..
"
Me:
"you'
vesai
dyourpi
ecenowgetout
.OUT!
"
Hi
m:"
nohar
dfeel
i
ngs"

Ididn'
tanswer.Iwat
chedhi
m di
sappearthen
rantothekit
chenandtookoutaminikni
fe.I
cutmywr ist
sandarms

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

BonusI
nser
t42

[Twomont
hsl
ater]

Tsakane

Af
terr
enewi
ngourv
owsShanduact
ual
l
y
becamet hehusbandI'
vebeendr
eamingof.He
didever
y t
hingt
hatneededtobedoneevenin
thebedroom

Iwasenjoyi
ngbeingahousewifeandmyson
wasgivi
ngnocompl i
cat
ionsbutIwasgett
ing
fat
,ver
yfatbecauseoft
hejoyofexpect
ing

Twinisabitdi
stantsinceafterwerenewedour
vows.Shewenthomewi thourparentswhi
le
NicoandIwereinMaur it
iusandshehasn't
vi
sit
edeveryt
hingsincewe'veallcomeback.
Here'
sphoneisalway soffandshe'soft
ennot
byherhouse

Igotuptoandwentbyt hepoolsi
def
orsome
fr
eshair
.Thelandscapershav
edoneagoodj ob
wit
hmygar denandChr i
stmaswasgoingtobe
soniceouther
e.Iwantedtothrowapart
yfor
al
ltheworker
sbef
oret
heywenthomef
or
Chri
stmas

Sof
iawal
kedt
othemehol
dingatraywi
th
l
emonadewhi
chwasmyfavour
it
e

Her
:"
somet
hingt
ocool
downwi
th"
Me:"
thanky
oust
handwa,
sitwi
thmeandhav
e
some"
Her
:"
othersar
egoi
ngt
ost
artsay
ingI
'
myour
f
avouri
te"
Me:
"youar
e,butt
hat
'sbet
weenmeandy
ou"

Wesati
ntheshadeenj
oyi
ngt
hel
emonade

Her
:"
howar
ethi
ngsbet
weeny
ouandy
our
man?"
Me:"
marvel
lous,t
heyaresogreatmama
ev
erythi
ngsinceIst
art
edpray
ingagai
n"
Her
:"
andy
ourt
win?
"
Me:"
haven'
tseenheri
nawhi
l
e,It
hinkshe'
s
av
oidi
ngme"
Her
:"
why
?"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowshe'
salwaysbeenl
i
ket
hat
.
She'
l
ltal
kwhenshe'
sready"
Her
:"
Isee.Ishoul
dgetbackt
owor
k"
Me:
"okaymamat
hanksf
ort
hel
emonade"
Her
:"
pleasur
emybaby
"

Shecol
l
ect
edt
het
rayandwentt
owor
kwhi
l
e

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Goi ngbackhomewasr efr

eshi ng,Icameback
feelingpeaceful
andrestored.Ihadt hebest
t
imeofmyl i
fewithmyparent s.Myf at
her
t
r eatedmegoodandIev enf orgotaboutNico

Mypr ev i
ousphysi
osessionwasgoodandI
neededt ocomebackaf t
ersixmonthsbecause
Ihadf ull
yrecov
ered.Mycareerwassti
l
lona
thr
eadbutIhadaf ewpromisingr
ecor
ding
l
abelst hatwantedtosi
gnmeup

RightnowIwokeupwitharunningstomach.I
don'tknowwhybutev
enyesterdayIhada
runnytummy,IguessIhav
etocheckbythe
doctoreveni
fIdidn'
tmakeanappoi
ntment

Igotint
hebathtubandscr ubbedmy selfcl
ean
thenworeayell
owmi niski
rtwit
habl ackcrop
topandhighheels,IhadaPer uv
ianweav eand
Nail
sdowny est
er daysoIknowIl ookedhot.I
appli
edsomemake, t
ookmyhandbagand
wentout

Ideci
dedt ogotot hemalli
nst
eadbecausemy
stomachf el
tbett
eranddosomeChr ist
mas
shopping.Ipi
ckedaf ewit
emsbeforebumping
i
ntoBonangandherf am.Mxoli
siwaseven
holdi
ngt hebaby

Me:
"aweawesuperf
am"
Bonang:
"ar
eyoumaki
ngf
unofus?
"
Me:
"howso?
"
Mxo:
"hi
Cancer
"
Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
longt
ime"
Me:"
comeoni
t'
snotl
i
keImi
ssedanyofy
ou
bet
huna"
Her
:"
andnei
therofusmi
ssedy
out
oocel
eb"
Me:
"andIdon'
tcarewhetheryoudidordi
dn'
t
mi
ssmecozIdi dn'
teventhinkaboutYal
l
"
Him:
"ladiesl
adi
escal
m down.I
twasni
ce
seei
ngy ouCancer
.Babyl
et'
sgo"
Me:
"baby
?"

Ilaughedsohar dthatpeopl
estart
edstari
ng.I
can'tunderst
andwhyBonangwoul dendanger
herselfbybeinginvol
vedwithsomeonewho
ratedmebutany wayIcont i
nuedwithmy
shoppi
ng

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Istoppedbyt hemalltogetwifeydear
estsome
goodies.Iknowwehav eenoughathomebutI
wanthert ofeelspoi
l
ed, Iwanthertoknowthat
I'
l
lalwaysbeagoodhusband

AsIwaswal ki
ng,Isawafamil
iarf
igur
e
approachi
ng.Thepersonwasbusyonher
phoneanddidn'tl
ooktoseemeheading
str
aightatt
hem
It
ri
edmov i
ngbutshebumpedstr
aightt
o
me,herphonefel
landIpi
ckedi
tup

Her
:"
I'
m sor
rysi
r,Iwasn'
tl
ooki
ng.
..
"

Shereal
i
sedthati
twasmeandst
ood
st
ati
oneryf
orasec

Me:
"Khensane"
Her
:"
Mbat
ha"
Me:
"di
dn'
tthi
nkI
'
dseey
ou"
Her
:"
It
'samal
lduuhapubl
i
cpl
ace"
Me:
"ohy
eahi
tis"

Sher
oll
edherey
esandmadeasi
ftogobutI
hel
dherarm andmyt
hroatwentdr
y.I
swal
lowedhard

Me:
"howhav
eyoubeen?
"
Her:
"t
hat'ssounnecessar
y.Sor
ryIbumpedi
nto
yousirnowletgoofmyar m"
Me:
"pl
easedon'
tgi
vemeacol
dshoul
der
"
Her
:"
gaah"

Sheshookher
sel
ffr
eeandwal
kedaway
.She
di
dn'
teventur
nback

Idi
dn'twantthi
ngstobel i
kethisbet
weenus.I
wantedhertounderstandthatIhadtosavemy
marri
agebutinsteadsheisbitt
erandhurt
.She
l
ooksv er
yhotandsexi ert
hanbefore
Idr
ov est
rai
ghthomef
orget
ti
ngt
het
hingsI
wantedtogobuy

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Hi
m:"
whyar
eyousosour
?"
Me:
"doIl
ookl
i
keI
'
m sour
?"
Him:"
ofcour
se,
Remzal
ookatmommyangr
y
atdaddy
"

Iwaschoppi
ngt
heoni
onsr
oughl
yir
ri
tat
edby
t
heev
entatt
hemal
lwi
thCancer

Me:
"I
'm notangr
yandIwon'
tar
gue"
Hi
m:"ncooRemzay
ourmot
heri
ssomet
hing
el
se"
Me:
"whatwast
hatsi
tuat
ionwi
thKhensane?
"
Hi
m:"
whatsi
tuat
ion?
"
Me:
"youbei
ngal
lbuddybuddyandni
cet
oher
"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
enor
easonnott
obeni
ce"
Me:
"ohokay
"
Him:"
youneedtost
opbei
ngsoi
nsecur
e
Bonang,I
'
m wit
hyou"
Me:
"f
inel
etmef
eedRemo"

HehandedherovertomeandIfedher
.Idon'
t
wantt
of eel
thr
eatenedi
narel
ati
onshi
p,we'
ve
j
ustworkedonitandnowwearebackto
squar
eonebecauseofCancer

Ial
soknowt hatMxolisi
goesouttohust
leand
comesbackwi t
hal otofmoney,I
'v
edecided
nottoquest
ionhim abouti
t.I
'
m worki
ngf r
om
homeandhav eturnedthel
ivi
ngroom i
ntomy
gal
leryst
udi
o

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Shanducamehomeearl
i
erthanusualand
foundmewatchDi
spi
cableMelaughi
ngmyass
of
f.Hesatnextt
omeandhelpedhi
msel
ftomy
si
mbachipswhil
eIputmyf
eetonhim

Me:
"youar
eear
ly?
"
Hi
m:"
neededt
ospendt
imewi
thmywi
feand
MJ"
Me:
"MJ?
"
Hi
m:"
Mbat
haJuni
or"

Hesai
dthatki
ssi
ngmyt
ummy

Me:
"l
olt
hat
'scut
e"
Hi
m:"
Iknow,
Irangi
ntoy
ourt
winatt
hemal
l
"
Me:
"r
eal
l
y?"
Hi
m:"
yeahshegav
emeacol
dshoul
der
"
Me:
"met
oo.She'
sbeeni
gnor
ingmef
orheav
en
knowswhy
"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkshe'
sjeal
ous"
Me:"
nowayKenti
sn'
tthet
ypetobej
eal
ousof
hert
win.May
beit
'
ssomething"
Hi
m:"
ify
ousayso"
Me:
"Ido"
Him:
"whydon'
twegodoagy
necheckupst
air
s
andseehow'
sMJ"

Igi
ggl
edbecauseIknewwhathementand
fol
l
owedhim upst
air
s

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Youguysdeser
veabonus t
hanksf
ort
he
suppor
t
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t43

Khensane

Iwaseat i
ngsomebroccol
iandmushroom
sal
adbecauseIenjoyeati
ngwei
rdthi
ngsthese
days.Idon'
teatt
oomuchbutwheneverIgeta
chance,Imakesuret
okill

Iwascomi ngbackf
rom t
het
oil
etandthi
sti
me
IswearI'
m goi
ngtoseeadoct
or,can'
tl
iv
ewith
thi
srunni
ngstomach

Seei
ngNicodef
init
elytr
igger
edsomet hi
ngs
buri
edint
hehatchetandIdidn'
tl
ikehowIwas
feel
i
ngbutIwastedproudthatImanagedto
walkaway
Myphonerangdi
splayi
nganumberofIdidn'
t
knowandIwassurpri
sedcozIhadchangedmy
number
s

Me:
"Khensanehel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
pleasecomeout
side"

Ii
mmedi
atel
yrecogni
sedt
hatv
oice

Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
I'
m beggi
ngy
ou"
Me:
"whi
chpar
tofnodi
dn'
tyouget
?TheNor
t
heO?"
Hi
m:"
weneett
otal
k"
Me:
"t
her
e'snot
hingt
otal
kabout
"
Him:"
justgi
vemeachance.Youdon'
thav
eto
sayanythi
ng,I
'
lldot
het
alki
ng"
Me:"
Isai
dno!andnev
ercomebackhereagai
n
el
seI'
m goi
ngtodoaprotect
ionor
der
"
Hi
m:"
fi
neI
'
lll
eav
e"

Icl
ickedmyt ongueafterhangi
ngup.Thisguy
i
sv erygreedyandselfcentr
edandIwon'tlet
him backintomyli
fe.I'
m bett
erof
fwithouthi
m
orTsakane.Heev enhasmynewnumber

°
°
°
°

Ni
co
Idon'tknowwhyIdeci
dedtogotoKhensane's
pl
acebutIneedt omakesur
ethattherear
eno
grudges.Iwentt
oworkandtri
edcall
ingherbut
herphonewasof f

Ifeltl
i
keafool forgoi
ngtoherplaceandher
refusi
ngtoletmei n.Sheevenchangedthe
l
ocks.Icall
edi nmyPAanday oungpret
tyl
ady
camei nwearingablackdresswithbl
ack
pumps

Me:
"andwhoar
eyou?
"

Sheputonapuzzl
edl
ookandpausedherl
i
ps

Her
:"
thePA"
Me:"
youar edefi
nit
elytooyoungtobemy
assi
stantandwhydon' tIknowthatt
her
ewould
besomeoneel seinsteadofmyoldassi
stant
?"
Het:"
youhir
edmelastweekasanint
ernsi
r,and
Istar
tedworki
ngher
eonMonday ,
todaymarks
thethi
rdday"

Isuddenl
yremembered.I
'
vebeenthi
nki
ng
aboutKhensanet
hatIfor
gotmynewassist
ant

Me:"ohofcour
se,
mymi
ndi
sal
lov
er.Sor
ry
aboutthat
"
Her
:"
it
'sokaysi
r"
Me:
"what
'sy
ourname?
"
Her
:"
Kemiset
sobutIpr
eferbei
ngcal
l
ed
Kemmy"
Me:
"okayKemmycanyoucancel
today
's
meeti
ngs,
Ihav
eaheadacheandneedtogo
home"
Her
:"
asy
ouwi
shsi
r"

Shewalkedoutswayi
ngherhi
ps,
shewasv
ery
youngandfr
esh,newblood

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwassur
pri
sedtor
ecei
veacal
lfr
om Kemmy
si
nceweweren'
tonspeaki
ngt
erms
Me:
"Kemmy
"
Her
:"
I'
m out
sidecany
oul
etmei
n?"
Me:
"ofcour
sey
oushoul
dn'
tbeaski
ng"

Imademywaytothedoorandopenedf
orher
.I
gav
eherat
ighthug

Her
:"
hi"
Me:
"I
'm sohappyt
oseey
ou"
Her
:"
wher
e'sy
ourman?
"
Me:"
heandRemowentoutf
orawal
konher
pr
am"
Her
:"
ohIsee"
Me:
"si
t"
Her:
"act
uall
yIwasheretoseeRemobut
becausesheisn'
ther
eI'
l
ljust.
..
"
Me:"don'
tbesi
l
ly.I
'
m sur
etheyar
eont
hei
rway
back"
Her
:"
okay
"

Shesatandl
ookedar
ounduneasy

Me:
"what
'swi
tht
hef
ancycl
othes?
"
Her
:"
wor
k"
Me:
"youwor
k?"
Her
:"
yeahIwor
kforNi
chol
asMbat
haashi
sPA"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tknow"
Her
:"
Idi
dn'
ttel
lyousoduuh"

Iwashur
tthatshedi
dn'
ttel
lme

Me:
"i
sheni
ce?
"
Her
:"
he'
smyboss"
Me:
"whyar
en'
tyouatwor
know"
Her
:"
hewenthomeear
ly.Sai
dsomet
hingabout
aheadache"
Me:
"okay
"
Her
:"
Ishoul
dgo.I
'
llseeRemonextt
imeby
e"
Me:
"wai
t"

Irushedtothebedr
oom andfetchedaphot
oof
ourmot hert
ogivet
oher.Shelookedati
twit
h
tearsbutaccept
edi
t

SheleftandIt
hought,
ifourmotherhadn't
abandonedus,wherewouldwebe? whereisshe?
Ibetshewouldbesopr oudofKemisetso

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Icamebackfrom t
hedoct
or'
swithaspinni
ng
head.Ihadmademywaythereatshortnot
ice
butIwasnothappywi
thwhatIfoundout

Ilookedatmyper fectmodelbodyatthemir
ror,
therewasnowayI '
m goingt
or ui
nsucha
perfectbody,Ihadtosignadeal wi
thacert
ain
recordcompanyandmanyot herssoIcoul
dn'
t
ri
skal if
echangingprocess

Icheckedmybankbal
anceandIwasshocked
thatIhadblewallmycashwithendl
ess
shoppingandtrav
eli
ng.Ihadnochoicebutto
callNi
co,hedidn'
tanswersoIsenthim at
ext
message

Iwait
edforhi
sresponsebuthedidn'
t.Ir
egret
sendi
ngthemessagebecauseIfeltl
i
keaf ool,
he'
sprobabl
yignor
ingthemessageonpur pose
j
usttohurtme

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
 I
'm sohappythaty
ouareinmyli
feandbaby
nowthatyouareapartofmeshowmet haty
ou
meaninggoodloveandIknowhel
ovesme. .
.

Iwassingingthi
sBey oncesongwhi lepacki
ng
mywar dr
obeneat .Iwast aki
ngoutsome
cl
othedreadytodonat ethem tothechurchthi
s
Sunday,yesIhadgonebackt obeingachurch
l
overandIenjoyitmor ebecauseShanduhas
beencomi ngtowithmet hepastf ewweeks

Ifeltar
mscircl
i
ngar
oundmywai
standki
sses
beingplant
edonmyneck

Me:
"Shandu"
Hi
m:"
Mbat
ha"
Me:
"youar
ehomeear
ly.
..agai
n"
Hi
m:"
Imi
ssedy
ou"
Me:
"Ihopewor
kisnotf
all
i
ngbehi
nd"
Hi
m:"
notatall
butMaMbat
haandMJcome
f
ir
sti
nmylife"
Me:
"wowOkay
"

Hespunmear oundtofacehi
mt henkissedme.
Hecarr
iedmet oourbedandgentl
yplacedat
t
heedgespreadingmylegs

Ihadonadr esswit
hnounder wearsohe
rubbedhismemberonmeandent eredwithout
taki
ngmydr essoff
.Hethrustsohardthatit
hurt,
thenhestar
tedrol
l
inghiseyes

Hi
m:"
aahKhensane!
"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
 I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t44

Tsakane

Hecall
edoutmyt win'
snameandf el
lont he
bed.Hedidn'tevenreal
isewhathe'djustdone.I
gotupandr ushedtothebathroom tovomi t
,I
wasdisgusted.Isatont het
oil
etseattryi
ngto
makeoutwhatj usthappened

Itsl
owlycli
cked,KhensaneandNicohavebeen
havinganaffai
rbehindmyback.Ithought
aboutallt
het i
mesthey'v
ebeenalonetoget
her
,
thoughtaboutwhatmam' Sof
iahadtoldme
beforewerenewedourv ows
Her:
"Ithi
nkyoushouldn'
tletyoursist
er
becomesocl osewit
hy ourhusband.Becar
eful
,
weliveinacruelwor
ld"

Ihaddef
endedherbecauseInev
ert
hought
she'
ddoanythingl
i
kethatt
ome.Therewereno
redsi
gnsnorredfl
agsormaybeIwastoobli
nd

All
thedot
sconnect edandIcouldn'
tbeli
ev e
howstupi
dI'vebeennottonoti
ce.Iwast heone
whoencouragedthem,Igavethem aplatform

Iwenttothebedsi
deandfoundhim snor
ingl
ike
abear,
Iunlockedhi
sphoneusinghi
sf i
nger
andsearched.

Ihav
eneverwentthr
oughhisphonebutt
his
ti
me,Idi
d.Ev
eryt
hingwasthere,
Isawher
nakedpictur
es,Isawhisnakedpi
ctur
es,they
havebeensexti
ngbutseemsl i
ketheystopped
contact
ingeachotherunt
ilt
odayorIcouldbe
wrongbecauseShanduev enhadhernew
numbers

Arecentmessagethatwasn'
topenshockedme
andIswearifIdon'
tdi
efrom t
his,
I'
m never
gonnadieofanythi
ng

°
°
°
°

Khensane
 Remembert
hef
ir
stdaywhenIsawy
ourf
ace?
Remembert hef
ir
stdaywheny ousmi
l
edatme?
Yousteppedtomeandt heny
ousaidtome,
I
wasthewomany oudreamtabout
Remembert
hef
ir
stdaywheny
oucal
l
edmy
house
Rememberthefi
rstwhenyoutookmeout
?We
hadbut
ter
fl
iesal
thoughwetri
edtohi
deandwe
bot
hhadabeautiful
night
Thewayweheldeachot
her
shands,t
hewaywe
l
aughed.
Itf
eltsogoodt
ofi
ndt
ruelove.
..

Isangalongtothissong,itr
emi ndedmeof
NicoandIfel
ttearsburningmycheeks.What
wasIexpecti
ngr eal
ly?Iwasjustf ool
edbyhi
s
wordseventhoughdeepdownIknewi twas
j
ustlust
,Ideser
v eeverybadthingcomi ngmy
way
Icoul
dfeel
thatsomethi
ngbadwasaboutt o
happentome.Itookabott
leofwineanddrank
thenIt
ookoutthekni
febutdeci
dedagainsti
t

°
°
°
°

Bonang

I
twasabeauti
fulmorni
ngandIwokeupfeel
i
ng
good.It
ookashowerandwokeMxoli
si

Me:
"wakeupel
sewe'
l
lbel
ate"
Hi
m:"
leav
emeal
one"
Me:
"Mx
oxo"
Hi
m:"
yei
yIsai
dleav
eme"
Me:
"t
odayi
szooday
,Iwantust
otakeRemo
t
her
e"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
twantt
o.Takehert
her
eyour
sel
f"
Me:
"butIwant.
..
"

Hef
lungof
fthebl
anketandgotupder
anged

Hi
m:"I'
vehadaroughnightsodon'
tfuckwi t
h
me":
"someoneclear
lyhasgotdaddyissues"

Ij
okedandtur
nedandnextt
hingIwassent
fl
yi
ngacrosst
heroom.
°
°
°
°

Ni
co

WhenIgotup, Tsakanewasn'tbymyside.I
wentforajogthencamenotf eel
ingwell
,thi
s
wasbecomi ngahabitbecauseIwouldfeel
nauseouseverymorning

WhenIgotintothehouseIfoundTsakane
t
alki
ngwithSofi
a,itl
ookedurgentandthey
i
mmediatelywentquietwheretheysawme

Me:
"Tsakane.
..l
ooksl
i
key
ou'
vebeencr
ying"
Sof
ia:
"pr
egnantwomanar
eemot
ional
"
Me:
"makeheral
emonade"
Sof
ia:
"okaysi
r,excuseme"
Me:
"what
'swr
ong?
"
Her
:"
not
hing"

Shewal kedawayandIl
etherbe,
Iknowt hat
pregnantwomenhavemoods.Igul peddown
onthewat erbot
tl
eandmyphoner ang

Me:
"Mbat
hahel
l
o"
Voi
ce:"
siri
t'
sKemmy
,cany
ouy
oupl
easecome
ear
li
er"
Me:
"I
'm notcomi
ngt
odaywhatdoy
ouneed?
"
Her
:"
yoursi
gnat
ure.Somedocument
sneed.
..
"
Me:"
comeov
ert
omyhouse,
I'
m wor
kingf
rom
home"
Her
:"
Idon'
twher
eyoul
i
vesi
r"
Me:
"t
hedr
iverwi
l
lputy
oust
rai
ghtatmydoor
"
Her
:"
okayt
hanks"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Tobehonest
, Ir
eal
l
ywantedtostr
angl
ethe
l
ivi
ngdayl
i
ghtsoutofShanduandrunKhensane
overwi
thmycarbutthenSofi
acal
medme
downandli
stenedt
ome
Shet ol
dmet othinkaboutthel
if
eIwas
carry
inginsi
deofme, shetoldmethati
t'
snot
workingitandthatImustnotdosomething
thatmightsendmet ojai
l

Beencr yingthewholenightandwhenIsawhi m
thi
smor ning,Iwant
edtochopof fhisheadbutI
decidedt oavoidhim.I
'
lldealwit
ht hem i
nan
unthinkablemanner

°
°
°
°

Bonang
MylipwascutandIwasbl eedi
ngt
hroughmy
nose.HewasholdingRemoandIwasont he
fl
oorcrunchi
ngagainstt
hewall

Heputherdownandgav eherherbot
tl
ethen
cametomeslowly
,myhear twasbeati
ngoutof
cont
rol
.Hebentabitandtouchedmyface

Him:"youknowt hatIdidn'
tmeantohurty ou
ri
ght?"Inodded" Iwantyoutostopprovoking
me"Inoddedagai n"
thi
swillnev
erhappenagai n
okay"Iconti
nuednoddi ng,Iwasshaki
ng"" okay
l
et'
sgety oucleanedandI '
llt
uckyouinear l
y.I'
l
l
bri
ngy ousupper"

Idi
dn'
tspeak,
Ijustal
l
owedhimtocl
eanthe
bl
oodandputmet obed.Iwasv
eryscar
ed
°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Igoti
nsi
dethemansionandafr
iendlyl
ooki
ng
womanescort
edmet oMrMbatha'sstudy
,I
wasinaweofthehouse,i
twassplendi
d

Thewomanknockedandwewenti
naf
terbei
ng
tol
dtoent
er

Her
:"
yourguestsi
r"
Hi
m:"
thankyouZodwa,
cal
li
nSof
iaandt
ell
her
t
obri
ngthesnacks"
Her
:"
asy
ouwi
shsi
r"

Me:"
sorr
yI'
mlate"
:"
verylat
ebuti
t'
sokaysi
t"
:"
I
needyoutosi
gnthesetheseandt
hose"
:"
okay"

Isatdownonthecouchandwatchedhim
readi
ngthef
il
es.Ist
udiedhi
m andcoul
dsee
thathei
saveryhandsomemanespeciall
yup
close

Helookedabi
tstr
essedbutyoucan'
tmissthe
char
m hecarr
iedwi
thhim.Helooksalotl
i
ke
Mzifr
om TVonlyanolderv
ersi
on

Anot
herwomancamewi
thatray
,shegr
eat
ed
sowarml
yandIst
udi
edhert
ooandalmost
dr
oppedmyjaw
Her:
"Ibr
oughtsomepancakesandhoney
,
enj
oy"
Hi
m: "
thanky
ouSofi
a..
.uhm af
tert
heguest
l
eavescanwehaveaword?"
Her
:"
cer
tai
nlysi
r"
Me:
"youl
ookf
ami
l
iar
"
Her
:"
Idoubti
tmydaught
er"
Me:
"doy
ouknowt
hiswoman?
"

Itookoutt
hephotot
hatsisBgav
emeand
passedontoher
.Shelookedatt
hephot
of ora
l
ongt i
meandIgavemybossanapologi
sing
l
ook

Her
:"
wher
edi
dyouf
indt
his?
"
Me:"
from mysi
ster
,it
'st
heonl
ythi
ngwehave
ofourmother
.Canyoutell
meifyouknowher
.
Youmi
ghtbeamember
"
Him:"
okayI
'l
ll
eavey
out
oitt
henseei
ngi
t'
sa
sensi
blematt
er"

Hewentoutandt
hewomansatdown

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Igothomeandt ookanicebathaft
ereati
ng
somepast a.Isurf
edthenetthenIwenttobed
earl
yaft
ermymeet ingwit
htherecordl
abel,
it
wentwellandt heywereal
readyprepar
inga
songi
nwhichIcoul
dcol
l
abor
atewi
thsome
hugecel
ebsl
ikeSi
mmy

Isatonthebedthi
nki
ngofmyfutureandwhatI
needtodotogetmylif
einor
der.Ifel
lasl
eep
butwokeupinthemiddl
eofthenightduetoa
night
mare

I
tist hesecondtimeI '
m havi
ngthi
sdr eam.I
dreamtofmyt winpoisoni
ngmeetandme
dying.Shetoldmesheknewt hatIcaused
here'sfi
rstmiscarr
iagehencethepoison

Iwentt
owashmyf
aceandl
ookedatmy
sel
fin
themir
ror

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
 BonusI
nser
t45

Ni
co

Mywi f
ehasbeenav oi
dingmeandIdon'
tknow
why.Ifi
nishedmyworkanddecidedt
ocheck
myphone.That'swhenIsawthemessage.I
qui
cklytookmykeysanddrovetoherpl
ace

°
°
°
°

Khensane
Iwassur pr
isedtohearacarhoot
ingout
side
thegate.Iputonmygownandcl earedt
he
ti
ssuesfast.Iwenttoopenthegateandlett
he
maroonG- wagonin

Myt wingotoutandIl
ookedstr
aightatherbel
l
y.
Shelookedgoodinadenim dr
ess, sandal
sand
sunglasses

Me:
"mt
ase"
Her
:"
twi
n"
Me:
"youl
ookst
unni
ng"
Her
:"
thanksnotbady
our
sel
f"
Me:
"comei
n"
Her
:"
thanks"
Wewal kedi
nsi
deandsatdownont
heki
tchen
chai
rs

Me:
"t
ellmewhatbr
ingsy
out
hissi
det
his
mor
ning?"
Hi
m:"
Iwant
edust
ohav
ebr
eakf
astt
oget
her
"
Me:"
Idon'
treal
l
yhav
emuchi
nthehousey
ou
know"
Her
:"
youcoul
dhav
easkedNi
cof
ormoney
"
Me:
"wowitst
hefir
stti
meIheary
oucal
lhi
m
Ni
coinst
eadofShandu"

Ideci
dedt
ododget
hesar
casm i
nhert
one

Her
:"
itcomeswi
thr
espect
"
Me:
"di
dsomet
hinghappen?
arey
ouguy
sokay
?"
Her
:"
wear
efi
ne,
inf
actv
eryf
ine"
Me:
"ohIsee"

Wesatinsi
lence,
Ireal
l
ywant
edhert
ogo.Her
pr
esencesuff
ocatedme

Her:
"r
ememberwhenyouaskedmehowIf
elt
whenIlostmybaby
?"
Me:
"yeah"
Her
:"
wenahowwoul
dyouf
eel
?"
Me:"
Idon'
tknow.DependsonhowIl
ostt
he
baby
"
Her
:"
okay
"

Herphonerangandt
hecall
sav
edmebecause
shehadtobesomewhere

Her
:"
cat
chupsomeot
hert
ime"
Me:
"ofcour
seby
e"

°
°
°
°

Bonang

SomeonewasbangingatthedoorandIhope
i
t'
snotthepol
icel
ooki
ngforMxolisi
.Idi
dn'tget
upandthebangi
ngconti
nuedunti
l Mxol
i
si
wokeupandwenttogetthedoorhimself

Iheardv
oicesexchangi
ngt
henhecameand
stoodonmebedsi de
Hi
m:"
itwasy
oursi
sterbutIsentheraway
"
Me:
"why
?"
Him:
"becausey
ouarenotfeel
i
ngwellandI
'
m
goi
ngtomakey oubr
eakf
astinbed"
Me:
"I
'mf
inedon'
tbot
her
"
Hi
m:"
butIwantt
omakey
oubr
eakf
ast
"
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
y"
Him:"
yousaidsol
astni
ghtandIl
ety
oube.I
fI
havetofor
ceyouIwil
l"
Me:"
please.Myl
i
piscutsoIwon'
tbeabl
eto
eat
"
Him:
"okay
, I
'
llmakesomethi
ngf
orRemot
hen.
Youcansitther
esul
king"

Iwantedtofi
ndtherel
evantwor
dstotel
lhi
m
thatIwant
edhim outofmyspace,
Ican'
tli
ve
l
ikethi
sno,Iref
use
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwat
chedheracti
ngasi
fsheneversl
eptwit
h
myman.Ireal
lywant
edtoski
nherali
vebutI
di
dn'
t.

Iwasconvi
ncedthatthey'
rehavinganaffai
r.I
wasparkedafewhousesf rom herhouse
gat
heri
ngmyt houghtsbecauseIcouldn'
tdriv
e
wit
hsuchaheav yheart
IsawhisMercedesparki
ngoutsi
dehergat
e
andshewenttoit.Theyseemedtobeargui
ng
aboutsomet
hingthenhepull
edhercl
oseto
himforanembrace

Thismeanst hathegothermessagesandat
thi
sstage,Icoulddri
vest
rai
ghtint
othem butI
hadabet t
eridea.Itwashear
tbreaki
ngtosee
them l
ikethat

°
°
°
°

Ni
co
Il
ookedathergoingupanddownthehouse,
shel
ookednothingcl
osetopr
egnancyt
hough
shewasbeauti
fulasever

Me:"
youcoul
dhav
etol
dmet
haty
ouwer
e
pr
egnant
"
Her
:"
andwhatdi
ff
erencewoul
dthatmake?
"
Me:
"ahugedi
ff
erence"
Her
:"
howso?
"
Me:
"j
ustbecauseIwentt
oTsakanedoesn'
t
meanIl
ovey oul
ess"
Her:
"ohplease,
Ijustwantmoneyt
odot
he
abor
tion"
Me:
"nonev
er.Youwi
l
lnotki
l
lmybaby
"
Her:
"i
twasn'tadebate.Thi
nkofTsakanef
or
once,she'
syourwif
e"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
hav
eyouar
rest
ed"
Her
:"
abor
ti
oni
slegal
youdummy
"
Me:"
Idon'
tcar
e.Youcansi
gnupt
hebabyt
ome
af
terbi
rt
h"
Her:
"what?
ninemont
hsofnausea,
miser
yand
whatnots,hel
lno
Me":
"I
'l
lmakesur
eyouhav
ethebestpr
egnancy
ev
er"
Her
:"
mycar
eer
"
Me:"yourcandoaphotoshoot i
ngwhil
e
pregnant.Youareani
nfluencersoy
oucan
adverti
semat er
nit
ycl
othes.Youcandoso
manyt hings"
Me:
"I
'l
lthi
nkabouti
t"

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Itwasabitlat
eandIwascooki ngpapandwors
whil
eMxolisiwaswat chi
ngsoccerwithRemo,
I
sti
ll
haven'
thadt hegutstot
ellhi
mt hatI
wantedthi
sov eranddonewith

Someoneknockedont hedoorandIwenttoget
i
t,i
twasKemisetsowithsomewomanandI
wasembarr
assedbecauseoft hebl
ackeye.I
qui
ckl
yhidmyf acebutIwassuretheysawit
.

Ii
nvi
tedt
hem i
nandt
heygr
eat
edMxoandsat
down
Thewomankeptey
ingMxoandIdidn'tl
ikei
t.
Heexcusedhi
msel
fbecauseoft
hediscomfort

Me:
"wel
comeKemmyand.
..
?"
Her
:"
mom.Thi
sisourmot
her
,Sof
ia"
Me:
"sor
ry?
"
Her:
"Ihav
efoundourmot
her
,shet
oldme
ever
ythi
ng"
Me:"
ohev
ery
thi
ngabouthowsheabandoned
us?
"
Her
:"
ofcour
senotpl
easel
i
stent
oher
"

Il
i
stenedtothest
oryanditsoundedli
kebul
lto
me.I'
m sur
eshejustmadeitupbecauseshe
di
dn'
twanttofacethatshe'
ddidabandonus

Sof
ia:
"uhm t
hatguywhowassi
tt
ingher
e..
."
Me:
"whatabouthi
m?"
Kemmy
:"Bonang"
Sofi
a:"
sinceyouarerudeli
keyourfather,I
'
llcut
st
rai
ghtt othechase.He'
syourbrother"
Me:
"l
olt
hiswoman,
howdoy
ouknow?
"
Sof
ia:
"askhi
m abouthi
spast
"
Me:
"sur
ely,
Iwouldhaver
ecogni
sedhi
mifwe
wer
eolderthan5year
s"
Kemmy
:"l
et'
sgoma"
Me:
"t
hat
'sr
ightl
eav
e"

Howcreati
vecoul
dthatwomanbecooki
ngup
suchastor
y.Iwentt
othebedr
oom however
aft
ert
heyleftt
oaskMxo

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Thi
sistomorrow'
sdosage,
IdoubtI
'
llhav
eti
me
topost.Enj
oy
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t46

Bonang

No,itcan'
tbepossiblethatIhaveachi
ldwit
h
myv eryownbrother.IaskedMxot ot
ellmeall
abouthischi
ldhoodandi tmatchedwit
hmine.

I
t'
ssoweirdhowwenev err
ecogni
sedeach
ot
herorsomethi
ng.Thi
swastaboo
Wespentt
henighttry
ingt
odi
gestr
eal
i
tyand
wecoul
dn'
tev
ensl eep
°
°
°
°

Khensane

Ishookhi
m gent
ly

Me:
"Ni
co"
Hi
m:"
5mor
emi
nut
es"
Me:
"yousai
dso30mi
nut
esago"
Hi
m:"
arghy
ouar
esuchabor
e"
Me:
"what
ever
"

Hegotupandwentt
othebat
hroom.Hespent
theni
ghtbutwedi dn'tdoanyt
hing.Ij
ustsl
ept
i
nhisarmsenjoyingthemoment .MaybeI'
m
evi
lli
kemyfatheralway ssai
dwhenIgr ewup,
maybeI'
m ashear t
lessastheysay

Hefini
shedshoweringandsatonthebed
wrappedinatowel.Hiswetbody
workmaking
t
hinktwiceabouthim goi
nghome

Hi
m:"wel
lyouknowthatsomemont
hsagoy
ou
br
oughtmesomeclothes"
Me:
"Idest
roy
edt
hem"
Hi
m:"
oh"
Me:
"buty
oucanputy
ourcl
othesoni
nthe
machi
ne"
Hi
m:"
andwhi
l
etheydr
y?"
Me:
"wel
l
...
"
Iwrappedmylegsaroundhisbodyandkissed
him.Itur
nedandgotontopofhimt r
ail
i
nghi m
withki
ssesal
lover
.Iunwrappedthetoweland
tookhiminmymout h

Hegrabbedmyheadandpushedmef
ordeep
t
hroatsucki
ng.Hi
sfi
ngerr
ubbi
ngmybean.
..

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Ir
eal
l
ybel
i
evet
hatSof
iai
sourmot
her
,Ibel
i
eve
herst
oryandIwanttogi
veusachancet
o
makeupf orl
ostti
mebecauset
her
ewasso
muchtodiscuss
Ontheotherhand,
itwastheshocki
ngnewsof
Mxoli
sibei
ngourhalfbr
other
,Mxoli
sit
herapi
st.

Itwaswor sebecausetheyhaveachil
dtoget
her
,
couldn'
tbemor edisgusted.Idi
spi
sedhi
m
evenmor ebythemi nute

Imademywayt owor
kandwasabouttoput
myphonesi
lencemodewhenIsawhercal
l
comi
ngthr
ough.Iswi
pedwit
hexci
tement

Me:
"Sof
iahi
"
Her:
"Kemmy
,Ij
ustwant
edt
ofi
ndouthowar
e
you"
Me:
"Iam wel
lthanks,
you?
"
Her
:"
Ifeel
goodnowt
hatI
'
vehear
dyourv
oice"
Me:
"Iwoul
dlov
etochatbutI
'm atwor
ksol
et
usmecall
youdur
ingmylunchhour"
Her
:"
okayIwoul
dappr
eci
atet
hat
"
Me:
"enj
oyy
ourdayby
e"
Her
:"
samet
oyounana"

Ifel
tgoosebumpsbecauseIwaskeentospend
ti
mewi thher.Igoti
ntheoffi
ceandmadesur
e
thatev
erythi
ngisinorderf
orMrMbatha

°
°
°
°
°
Khensane

Nicowenttowor kver
yver
ylatebutIneededall
theexerci
seandit'
sbeenagessinceI
'vebeen
handledinthatway

Ireall
ymissedNicoevent houghIconvi
nced
my sel
fthatIdi
dn'twanthim anymore.I
'
ve
madeupmymi nd,Iwi
llhaveNicowhethermy
twinli
kesitornot

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Atl
eastnowIknowwher ehespenttheni
ght.I
di
dn'
tworrymyself
.Ihear
dhim showerand
l
eaveandIdi
dn'tsayanyt
hingt
ohim

Ri
ghtnowSofiawasinacrisisandIneededto
at
tendtoher
.Iaskedthehelperst
obringteaat
mystudywhil
eItal
kedtoher

Me:"
Sosheshouldyourdaught
er?I
'
m sogl
ad
youfoundy
ourchil
dren"
Her:
"I
'm notsohappyaboutBonang,
shewas
badl
ybruised"
Me:
"Youl
i
e"
Her
:"
I'
mreal
l
ywor
ri
ed"
Me:
"Bonangi
sKhensane'
sbestf
ri
end.Wel
l
usedt
obeBFF"
Her
:"
hewasbeat
enbyMxol
i
si"
Me:
"SoMxol
i
sii
sthei
r'
shal
fbr
other
?"
Her
:"
bloodbr
other
,theyar
efr
om t
hesame
man"
Me:
"MyGodmustbehar
d.It
hinky
oushoul
d
t
akeafewday
soff"
Her
:"
not
hanky
ou"
Me:"
pleaseatl
eastunt
ily
ouwr
apy
ourhead
ar
oundt hi
smess"
Her
:"
Ican'
t.Ineedt
hemoney
"
Me:"Iwon'
tdeductanyt
hingmaIpr
omi
se.
You'vehel
pedmeal otsoall
owmetousemy
tur
nt ohel
pyou"
Her
:"
Godbl
essy
ou"
Me:
"mayHebl
essy
oumor
e"
°
°
°
°

Bonang

Mymindwasn'
tworki
ng,Iwasnumbwi t
hthe
pai
ninmyhear
t.Mxoli
siwasatt
endingt
oRemo
whi
leIl
aydownlooki
ngatthecei
li
ng

Mxot
ookmyhandandmademesi
tup

Hi
m:"
weneedt
otal
kaboutt
his"
Me:
"yeaht
hesoonert
hebet
ter
"
Hi
m:"
wecan'
tchanget
hef
actt
hatwehav
e
Remo,
wedi
dn'
tknow .
..
"
Me:
"andy
ouar
eleav
ingme.
..
"
Him:"
noonei
sleav
ingher
e.Wecont
inueasa
coupl
e"
Me:
"t
her
e'snowayt
hati
spossi
ble"
Hi
m:"
Iwasn'
taski
ng"
Me:
"i
t'
staboo"
Him:
"t
owho? peopl
edon'tknow.Sol
etmeget
goi
ng.Ihav
eaj obl
inedup"

Justli
kethatheuppedandlef
t,Ican'
tbel
i
ev e
howhet hi
swecanj ustcar
ryonwi t
hourl
ives
l
ikethat

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Idreadedgoi
nghomet omoodyTsakane,we
wereokayunti
lrecent
ly.SheJunest
opped
tal
kingtomeandkeepsav oi
ding

Igotinandfoundherwearingabl uenightgown,
shewasr eadi
ngabooksi t
tingont hebedroom
couch.Isatdonexttoherandputdownher
book.Shelookedir
ri
tat
edbutdi dn'tsay
anyt
hing

Me:
"hey
"
Her
:"
hi"
Me:
"howar
eyou?
"
Her
:"
I'
m okay
"
Me:
"goodweneedt
otal
k"
Her
:"
okayt
alk"

Iswall
owedhardtry
ingtogetoutoft
her
ight
words,Idon'
twanttohur
t
Me:
"soIr
ecent
lyf
oundoutt
hatKhensane.
..
"
Her
:"
aaar
ghIt
hinkI
'
mloosi
ngt
hebabyNi
co"

SheheldhertummyandIpani
cked,
Idon'
twant
anyt
hingtohappent
omyson

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

BonusI
nser
t47
Tsakane

Il
iedabouthavingcrampsbecauseifhehad
announcedthatKhensanewaspregnantwit
h
hi
schild,Iwouldhavechewedoffhisbal
ls.

Helookedgenui
nelyscaredthoughaskedif
whathe'sdoi
ngisn'
tcausingmest ress.He
carr
iedmeetdownstai
rswhileIfakedthe
cramps

Him:
"hol
donTsakaneI
'
mtaki
ngy
out
othe
doct
or"
Me:
"noI
'
mfi
ne,
Ijustwantt
orest
"
Hi
m:"
noy
ouar
enotf
ine,
cany
ouwal
k?"
Me:
"yesbuti
fI'
m goi
ngt
othedoct
or,
rat
her
Sof
iaandadr
ivert
akemet
her
e"
Hi
m:"
Iwantt
ocomewi
th"
Me:
"youar
ethecauseoft
hesecr
amps"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry,
Idon'
twantany
thi
ngt
ohappen
t
othebaby"
Me:
"t
hengetoutofmyf
ace"
Hi
m:"
okayi
fthat
'swhaty
ouwant
"
Me:
"Iam goi
ng.I
'
llcal
lyoui
fyouar
eneeded"
Hi
m:"
please"

Heorderedformetobedriv
entothedoctor
's
butIgavethedri
vermoneyandt
imeoff.Idr
ove
tothetownshi
p

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Icouldn'
tsl
eepandTsakane'sphonewasof f.I
real
lywantedtoknowwhatishappeningwith
her,
Iwouldn'tf
orgi
vemyselfi
fshelostthe
baby

Ididn'
tevengof
oraj
og.Iwentupanddown
thehouseli
keamadper
sonunti
lIsawSof
iai
n
thekit
chen

Me:
"pl
easet
ell
meshesl
eptaty
ourpl
ace"
Her
:"
she'
sint
heguest
room"
Me:
"her
eint
hishouse?
"
Her:
"yest
heoneont
hesecondf
loornextt
o
herst
udy"
Me:
"t
hankGod,
okayt
hanks"

Sheshookherheadwhi l
eIdashedt
other
oom.
I
twaslocked,Iknockedgent
ly

Me:
"Tsakane!
"
Her
:"
goaway
,thedoct
orsay
sI'
mfi
ne"
Me:
"doy
ouneedany
thi
ng?
"
Her
:"
Iwantyout
ogi
vemesomespace
Ni
cholas"
Me:
"okayokayasy
ouwi
sh"
Her
:"
good"

Shedidn'
tbotheropeni
ngthedoor,
wejust
shout
edthrougheachside.Ical
l
edKemmyto
cancel
all
mymeet
ingsandt
aket
hedayof
f

Ir
eal
l
yneededadi
str
act
ion,
boxi
ngwi
l
ldo

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Myeyeswerebaggyduetospendi
ngdays
wit
houtsl
eepi
ngnorrest
ing,
Ican'
tunder
stand
whyMxoli
siwoul
dthi
nkthatwecancontinue
dat
ing
Hecameinholdi
ngabigcasel
ookingt
ir
ed,he
wentst
rai
ghtt
okissRemothenhel
dmef rom
behi
ndwhil
eIwasmakingthebed

Hi
m:"
guesswhat
"
Me:
"what
?"
Hi
m:"
Imadef
ivemi
l
li
onl
astni
ght
"

Hepoi
ntedt
othebi
gcaset
hathehadputnext
t
othebed

Me:
"how?
"
Hi
m:"
carhei
st"
Me:"
Mxol
i
si,It
oldy
out
hatIdon'
twant
t
roubl
e..
."
Hi
m:"
wit
hthepol
i
cebl
ahbl
ahbl
ah"
Iwasspeechlessbecausehewassost
ubbor
n.
Hetr
iedkissi
ngmebutIt urnedmyf
ace

Hi
m:"
giv
eyourbr
otheraki
ss"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
Iwasn'
taski
ng"
Me:
"I
'm busyandRemoi
sn'
tfeel
i
ngwel
l
"
Hi
m:"
ohwel
lnextt
ime"

Hethrewhi
msel
font
hebedandst
art
ed
snor
ing
°
°
°
°
Khensane

Iopenedupformyt wi
n,seemsli
keshe'sgoing
backtobeingaregul
aratmyplace.Theway
sheisalwaysher
e,Iassumethatther
e'st
roubl
e
i
npar adi
se

Ichuckl
edtomysel
fwhil
eIwentt
othefr
idget
o
takeoutl
emonadeherf
avour
it
e.Wesatonthe
highchai
rs

°
°
°
°

Bonang
Ifi
nishedpackingandwentov ert
ohi mto
checkifhewasst il
lsl
eepi
ng.Hedi dn'
tseem t
o
hearat hi
ng.Icarr
iedt
hecaset othecabthen
quickl
ywentf orRemoandt hebagIhadpacked

Il
ookedathimf
orthel
astt
imeandhedidn'
t
move.Icl
osedt
hedoorcar
eful
l
ythenwentof
f
wi
ththecab

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
Wewerei
nthemi
ddl
eofl
unchandmyhands
wer
eit
chi
ngtowi
pet
hesmugoffherugl
yface

Me:"
yourcompl
exi
oni
smuchl
i
ght
er.Ar
eyou
baki
ng"
Her
:"
baki
ng?
"
Me:
"i
sther
eabuni
ntheov
er?
"
Her
:"
act
ual
l
yther
eis"

Inear
lyst
rangl
edher.Icont
inuedsi
ppi
ngonmy
l
emonadeandat eey
ingher

Me:
"wowI
'
m sohappyf
ory
oumt
aseoutwi
thi
t"
Her
:"
wel
lhe'
sri
ch,
handsomeandgoesal
lni
ght
l
ong"
Me:
"Iseeandwhoi
she?
"
Her
:"
can'
ttel
lri
ghtnowi
ncasehe'
syourman"
Me:
"ohIseewhaty
ouj
ustdi
dther
elol
"

Ifor
cedlaught
er,
shehel
dhermout
handr
ant
o
thebat
hroom

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Spendingthedaywit
hmymot herwasf
un
actual
ly.Wewenttoanearbypar
kandhada
picni
cwhi l
eshewastol
dmeabouther
chil
dhood,marri
ageandherl
if
enow
Wetalkedaboutsomanyt
hings.Ihadl
otsof
qual
i
tyandsodi dshe.

Labant
wanabaWr
ongo
Labant
wanaAmaUber
Labant
wanaAmaDumane
Ehbaethat
habaefakamakhalenebaet
hat
ha
baefakamakhal
enebaeuser
.Yebbbo!

Idancedabittomyri
ngtonebutstopped
i
mmedi at
elyaft
erIr
eal
isedthati
twasMr
Mbathacall
ing

Me:
"MrMbat
ha"
Hi
m:"
Ineedy
oubyt
heof
fi
ceat8"
Me:
"pm?
"
Hi
m:"
unf
ort
unat
elyy
esbutI
'
lldr
opy
ouof
f"
Me:
"okaysi
rnopr
obl
em "

°
°
°
°

Khensane

It
hrewup,somet hi
ngthatIhav
en'tdoneever
si
nceIgotpregnant,Ir
insedmymout hand
washedmyf acethenchangedint
oapur ewhit
e
dr
essincasehermanshowsup

Iwentbacktomyt win.Onecouldnev
ermiss
thejeal
ousyonherfacewhenshefoundout
thatI'
m pr
egnant
.Soonshe'l
lknowwhothe
f
atheri
s

Me:
"I
'm backheyy
ouknowhowpr
egnancy
wor
ks"
Her:
"Idef
ini
tel
ydo.Her
edr
ink,
I'
ver
efi
l
ledy
our
gl
ass"
Me:
"t
hanks.Howki
nd"

Igul
peddownthelemonadeinonegot henput
myf oodi
nthemicr
owave,shehadfi
nishedher
foodandevenof
feredt
owasht hedi
shes

Isatonthecouchandt
urnedont heTV.I
decidedt
hati
twastimetoletherknow.Nowor
never

Me:
"whatwoul
dyoudoi
fyouf
indoutt
hatNi
co
hasanot
herbaby
?"
Her
:"
it
'seasy
"
Me:
"t
ell
"
Her
:"
Iwoul
dgof
ort
heki
l
l"
Me:
"l
olokay
"

Idoubtshecoul
dev
enhur
taf
ly.Shest
aredat
me

Me:
"what
?"
Her
:"
ist
hatbl
oodcomi
ngbet
weeny
ourt
highs?
"
Me:
"huh?
"

Icheckedandyesindeed,
Iwasbl
eedi
ng.I
panickedandscr
eamed,shewalkedovert
o
me
Her:
"FYIIdi
dreadt
helet
terwhil
ey ouwer
eat
thehospi
tal
andfor
gav
ey ouforthepai
nyou
causedme"
Me:
"whatdi
dyoudot
ome?
"
Her:
"bl
ackappl
epoison,
theoneyouusedten
year
sagoandmydear, Ist
ruggl
edtogeti
tin
t
hetownshipsphwee"
Me:
"Tsakane!
no"
Her
:"
ti
tfort
at"
Me:
"nopl
ease"

Ist
art
edcry
ingast
hepainskickedi
n.Iwenton
mykneesandshecr
unchedlownexttome

Her:
"Idi
dthi
sbecausey
oucoul
dn'
tkeeppaws
of
fmyman.Ci ao"
Sheturnedonherheel
sandIreall
ywait
edfor
thepartwhereIwakeupf
rom theter
ri
ble
night
mar e,
butIdi
dn'
t

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Bet
hunaIcoul
dn'
twai
tti
l
ltomor
row.Unedi
ted
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t48

Ni
co

Iwasatsomestri
pcl
ubintown,verydrunk.
Thegi
rlwhowasdancingf
ormewhi speredi
n
myearthatweshoul
dgoupstai
rs.Icametomy
senseanddeci
dedt
odr
ive.Ial
mostcr
ashed
butIar
ri
ved

Ifoundthegatesl i
ghtlyopenandIpanicked,
whatifshe'
sbeingr obbed.Igotinandtri
edthe
doorwhichwasn' tlockedtoo.Icall
edouther
nameandshedi dn'trespond.Ipushedthedoor
thenIimmediatelywentsoberwi thwhatIsaw
andfound

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
Iwasshakinganddr i
vinghomewast he
hardestthi
ngbecauset hecarkeptswaying.I
don'tknowhowImanagedt ogettomyr oom
butIfoundmy sel
finthebathroom cr
y i
ng

Itri
edtobetheheart
less,
cruelbi
tchmyt winis
butIcan't
.Isawherloosi
ngthebaby,Isawt he
fearinhereyesandworseparti
sthatIlef
ther

Icoul
dn'
tstopmy sel
ffrom shaki
ng,Ii
gnored
myphonet hatkeptringingi
rri
tat
ingme.The
shaki
ngdidn'tstopandIwentt opourmy sel
f
someofNi co'sbrandy

Onegl assaf
teranot
herunt
ilt
hebot
tl
ewas
fi
nished

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwasatpeacefulpl
ace,i
twassocalm andthe
breezesogentl
y.Therewerebeaut
if
ulf
lowers
andmyf eetf
eltsoli
ghtl
ikeIwasfl
oati
ng

Ther
ewerethreedoor
s,Iopenmyf ir
stwhit
e
door
.Ever
ythi
ngseemedsocal m andpeaceful
j
ustl
ikewhereIwasstandi
ng,butitseemed
l
ikei
twastheothersi
deofli
fe

Iopenedthenextblackdoorandi
twashotand
bl
azing,
Iheardscreamsandsawbl ood.I
tthen
cl
i
cked,
IwasdeadandIhadt
ochoosemyf
ate

Itri
edthelastgreydoorandfel
ttheadr
enal
i
ne
rush.Iwasfall
ing,downdownanddownIwent
withoutr
eachingmydest i
ny

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwasatahotelsomewherewherenoone
wouldfi
ndmeasy et,
Iwasplanni
ngtofl
ee.I
wantedtogotoMozambiquewithafake
passpor
tandstuff
.Ir
eal
lywanttost
artanew
l
i
feawayf
rom t
husdr
ama

Icheckedmyphoneonel astt
imebefore
destr
oyingitandther
eweredozenthr
eatsf
rom
Mxolisi
,Iswearifhefi
ndsmehe'l
lki
llme
i
nstantl
y

°
°
°
°

Kemmy

Ther
ewasnooneatt heoff
iceandIwasscar ed.
Iwait
edfor15minut
esthendecidedtocal
lthe
bosstoseeifhe'
sst
il
lcoming.Hisphot
oswas
of
ftomydi
smay

Iwait
edf oronemorehourthendeci
dedleav
e,i
t
wasv er
ydar kandIwasreadi
ngcreeped
becauseIwaswear i
ngaskirt
,Icoul
donly
aff
ordacabt hatwoul
ddr opmeoffatmy
si
ster'
splace

Idi
dn'twanttogother
ebutIhadnochoice.I
gotoffthecabandknocked,
thedoorwas
openedbyav er
ydrunkMx ol
i
siwhoseemed
l
ivi
d

Hi
m:"
wel
lwel
lwhatdowehav
eher
e?"
Me:
"i
smysi
sterhome?
"
Hi
m:"
comei
n"
Me:
"not
hanks"
Hi
m:"
Iwasn'
taski
ng"
Me:
"andincasey
ouhav
en'
tnot
iced,
Idon'
t
t
akeorders"

Hegr abbedmeandr eeledmein.Myhear trat

e
i
ncreasedandf eargott
ome.Het hr
ewmeon
thecouchandIf oughtwit
hhim.Iam strong,
verystrongsoIhithi
m withal
lI'
vegot.He
nearl
yov erpower
edmebutIbi thi
m and
managedt ogetaway

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
Myheadwasv er
yheavyli
keI'
vebeenbangi
ngi
t
onar ock.Myphonewasstil
lri
ngi
ngandItr
ust
pi
ckingupbutitswi
tchedoffduetoalow
bat
tery

Iputitonthechar
gerandclearedupt hebrandy
bottl
es,Iwassoembar r
assedt olear
nt hatI
dranksomuch.Itookoffmycl othesandpaced
upanddownt hebathr
oom, Icouldsti
llseeher
face

Istart
edcr y
ingthenhadanidea,whynotcal
lan
ambul anceanonymouslysoshecouldgethel
p?
Iquicklywenttomyphoneandswi tchedi
ton,I
sawt hecall
sImi ssedf
rom Nico

Ideci
dedt
oli
stent
ohi
svoi
cemai
lmessage
Him:"Tsakane,Khensaneisatt
hehospital
fi
ghtingforherli
fe,It
hinkshet
ri
edcommi tti
ng
suici
deagainbecauseshewascov eredin
blood.Callmeassoonasy ougett
his"

Ili
stenedtothemessageagainthendial
edhi
s
number .Hisphonewasofft
omy
disappoint
ment,Iworesomet
hingquickl
yand
rushedtothehospit
al

°
°
°
°

Ni
co
Iwasacompl etemessandpeoplewer est
aring
atmeathospital,
IhadboughtKhensaneafterI
foundherunconsciousi
napoolofblood,I
waitedal
lni
ghtandev ennowI'
m sti
llwai
ti
ng

Toaddmor etomystress,manycompanies
werepul
li
ngoutbutIcouldn'
tworryabouti
t
ri
ghtnow,Iwaswait
ingforthedoctor

HecameandIgotupandwenttohimsel
f
hopef
ull
y.ItwasShezi
andhi
sfacewasnot
promi
sing

Me:"
doc,what'
sgoi
ngon?
wher
eisKhensane
andthebaby?
"
Hi
m:"
fol
l
owmet
omyof
fi
ce"
Ir
eall
ydidn'
tl
ikethesoundofthat.Itr
ied
walki
ngbutmyf eetwouldn'
tmove.Ihadt obe
st
rongsoIforcedmy sel
ftotheof
f i
ce

Him:"
Idi
dn'
twanttosayanyt
hingout
sidebut
I
'm af
rai
dit
'snotgoodnews"
Me:
"t
ell
me.Ican'
twai
tanyl
onger
"
Hi
m:"
wedi
dal
lwecoul
d..
."
Me:
"j
ustsayi
t!
"

Iwasloosi
ngmypat
ienceandhi
svoicet
rai
l
ed
away,
Isawhisey
esstart
edshi
ning

Hi
m:"welosther
.Shelostsomuchbl
oodandi
t
washar
dt orevi
veher
"
Me:
"whatar
eyousay
ing?
lostherhow?
"
Hi
m:"
wef
oundapoi
soncal
l
edbl
ackappl
ein
hersy
stem,
she'
sgone"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Uni
ted
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t49

Tsakane

WhenIgott hehospit
al,IfoundNicoinastat
e.
Hewasr eall
ybroken.Hel ookedasifhehas
beencry
ing.Iwentov ert ohim,hewaswi t
h
Shezi
andt heyweretalkingseri
ousl
y
Me:
"hi
"
Shezi
:
"hey
"
Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Mbat
ha:
"t
hener
ve!
"
Me:
"excuseme?
"
Hi
m:"
don'
tpr
etendl
i
key
oudon'
tknowany
thi
ng"
Shezi
:
"don'
tcauseasceneMbat
ha"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tmeant
ohur
tany
one"
Hi
m:"
she'
sgoneandnev
ercomi
ngback"
Me:
"huh?
"
Hi
m:"
yeahandy
oucomeher
esmel
l
ingl
i
keshi
t"
Shezi
:
"Mbat
ha!
"
Hi
m:"
argh"

Hewalkedawayandittookaminut
eortwofor
t
hesentencet
oregi
sterandsi
nkin."
She'
sgone
andnevercomingback!"MyGod,Iki
l
ledmy
ver
yownt win.IaskedShezi
tol
etmeseeher
butheblunt
lyrefused

Seei
ngmyhusbandt hatdevastat
ed,onewould
real
i
sethathel
pdidloveher,ohmypar ent
s!My
mom isgoingt
odieofahear tatt
ackbecause
Khensanewasherfavouri
te

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Ir
ani
ntomymot
her
'sembr
aceandcr
iedonher
shoulder.Shel
ookedworr
iedbutdidn'
tput
pressureonmybyaskingmanythings

Her
:"
it
'sokaynanaI
'
m her
e"
Me:
"t
hanksmama"

Icr
iedbutIdi
dn'
ttel
lherwhatMxol
i
sidi
d.She
mademecamomi leteaandwhenIhadcal
med
downIcall
edJ

Me:
"baeb"
Hi
m:"
heyl
ove"
Me:
"I
'm sl
eepi
ngatmymom'
spl
ace"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..howzi
tgoi
ngbet
weeny
out
wo?
"
Me:
"i
t'
sgreatact
ual
l
y.Atl
eastwear
emaki
ng
upf
orlostt
ime"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sogl
adl
ove"
Me:"
yeahmetoo..
.uhm l
emmegetsome
sl
eep,I
'l
lseey
out
hisweekend"
Hi
m:"
sweetdr
eams.Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
ooby
e"

Sof
iawasey
ingmeser
iousl
yandIl
aughedat
her

Me:
"ohI
'
m sor
ryy
ouhadt
oheart
hat
"
Her
:"
it'
sokayI
'
mjustt
ryi
ngtogetusedt
othe
f
actthaty
ouarei
narel
ati
onshi
p"
Me:
"l
olwedef
ini
tel
ywi
l
ladj
ustt
othi
sli
fe"
Her:
"I
'mjustsadthatIdi
dn'
tgetachancet
o
r
aiseyouandy oursi
ster
"
Me:
"we'
vegotawholeli
feaheadofusdon'
t
wor
ryaboutBonang"
Her
:"
thi
sthi
ngofherandMxol
i
si.
..
"
Me:
"l
et'
snotev
engot
her
e"
Her
:"
getsomer
estanddon'
tfor
gett
opr
ay"
Me:
"t
ugmei
n"
Her
:"
lol
Idon'
t"

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

I
'v
eneverbeent hi
ssadmywhol eli
fe,t
he
womanIlovei sdeadandther
e'snothi
ngmore
t
oliv
efor.Idrovereckl
essl
yhomehopi ngt
oget
i
ntoanaccidentbutIdidn'
t
Iwenthomeandst ormedint
othegar
age
l
ookingforarope.It
iedi
tinawayI'
dbeabl
eto
hangmy sel
f

JustwhenIwasabouttocarryon,
someone
grabbedmeandputmedown.Myhel per
swere
standi
ngther
elooki
ngshocked

Me:
"whydi
dyoust
opmeAr
gh!
"

Iscr
eamedandwenttomyminibar,
there
wasn'tasi
ngl
ebot
tl
eofal
cohol
.Ifel
tli
keIwas
l
oosingmymind

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwasstil
latt
hehotelbor
ed,Iwaspati
entl
y
wai
tingformythi
ngstobereadythenIshoul
d
bereadyandoutherebytomorr
ow

Ihadbroughtanewphoneandaf ewthingsI
thoughtIneeded.Idi
aledKemiset
so,she
pickedupafteri
trangforalongti
me

Her
:"
Kemi
set
sohel
l
o..
.hel
l
o"
Me:
"hi
"
Her
:"
Bonang?
"
Me:
"yeshowar
eyou?
"
Her
:"
ter
ri
fi
ed"
Me:
"erwhy
?"
Her:
"yourboy
fri
endt
ri
edt
orapeme.It
oldy
ou
he'
sbadnews"

Iinhal
eddeepert
hinki
ngoft
hemessIl
eftback
there

Me:
"what
?ar
eyouokay
?"
Her
:"
ofcour
senot
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryKemmy
,he'
spr
obabl
yangr
ythatI
r
anaway "
Her
:"
wher
ear
eyou?
"
Me:"
far
,I
'
lll
ety
ouont
hedet
ail
sonceI
'
m
set
tl
ed"
Her
:"
I'
m gl
ady
ougotaway
.Wher
e'sRemo?
"
Me:
"she'
swi
thme"
Her
:"
okay
.I'
m wi
thourmot
her
"
Me:
"pl
easet
ell
hert
hatI
'
llmendf
ences"
Her
:"
she'
l
lbev
eryhappy
"
Me:
"okayby
e"

WhatifI
'm put
ti
ngmyl
ovedone'
sli
vesi
n
danger
?

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Thegui
l
tthatwaseat
ingmewasunbear
abl
e,
whatam Igoi
ngtosayt
omypar ents?
howam I
goingtol
ivewi
thmysel
f?howam Igoi
ngt
o
tackl
ethi
s?

Iwentt oherplacetoclearupanyfor
m of
evidencethatthepoli
cemi ghtl
i
nktomeonce
theystarti
nvesti
gati
ngwher eshegotthe
poison

Ir
emov
edev
ery
thi
ngandev
ent
idi
edup

Hi
m:"
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

It
urnedslowl
ytofindNicost
andi
ngbyt
hedoor
l
ookingl
ikealosthobbo

Me:
"Ican'
tbel
i
eveshe'
sgone"
Hi
m:"
met
oo"
Me:
"shewasn'
tsupposedt
odi
e"
Hi
m:"
ofcour
seshewasn'
t"
Me:"
butmaybeshewasdepr
essedandwe
di
dn'
tnoti
ce"
Hi
m:"i
fitwassui
cide,
whydi
dn'
tsheatl
east
l
eaveanote?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
comeher
e"

Hetookmei nhi
sarmsandgav emeat i
ght
squeeze.Wecri
edtoget
her,i
fhefoundoutt
hat
I'
m behi
ndherdeat
h,he'
llmur
derme

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Hebroughtmetohisplaceandputmeont he
vent
il
atort
ohel
pmyl ungstogetoxygen.Hei
s
t
heonewhol i
edformeandr iskedl
oosi
nghis
j
obbyf aki
ngmydeath

Me:
"t
hanksShezi
,Iowey
ouone"
Hi
m:"
whatf
or?
"
Me:
"hel
pingmeout
"
Hi
m:"I
'mjustgl
adIcoul
dhel
pnowt
ell
me
what
'sgoingon"
Me:"
Ican'
ttel
lyour
ightnowbutI
'
llgi
vey
oua
f
ull
storysomedaywhenIgetbett
er"
Hi
m:"
okaynopr
essur
e"
Me:
"I
'm sl
eepyagai
n"
Hi
m:"i
t'
sokay
,themedi
cinewi
l
ltaket
imet
o
wearof
f"
Me:
"okayI
'
m sl
eepi
ngnow"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

For
giv
etheer
ror
s
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t50

3day
slat
er

Tsakane
Herdeat hhadbroughtachangei nme,Iwent
mut eforthepastfewdaysdeal i
ngwit
hthe
guil
tofkill
ingmytwin.ShanduandIwouldsit
watchingherphotosandv ideosbutt
hethought
thatIam theoneresponsibleeatsmedail
y

Luckil
ythefor
ensicsfoundnot
hinglinki
ngme
toherdeathandtheyconfir
medt hatitwas
sui
cide,Shezi
hasbeenact i
ngstrangeabout
thi
sandev encrematedherbodywi t
houttel
li
ng
us

Thecararri
vedandmypar entsgotoutt ogether
wit
hmyuncl eandaunts,myf atherwentt otalk
toNicowhil
emymot herstruggl
edt oholdback
hertear
s.Tell
i
ngthem hasthehar destpartbut
Idi
d

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Izi
ppedt
hebagandsatont
heedgeoft
hebed,
Musacamewit
haglassofwat
er

Hi
m:"
ti
mef
ory
ourpi
l
lsmi
ssy
"
Me:
"your
eal
l
yar
etaki
ngcar
eofmeMusa"
Hi
m:"
Iam"
Me:
"oohst
opi
torImi
ghtgetusedt
oit
"
Hi
m:"
lol
youwi
sh"

It
ookt
hepi
l
lsandhest
aredatme,
tot
hinkt
hat
hecouldbemykni ghtandshi
ningar
mourwas
real
lyawkward.Iblushedabi
tremember
ing
thatIoncedat
edhim

Me:"
onceagai
n,t
hanky
ouMusa,
unomusa
ngempel
a"
Him:"
youputmeinahel
l
uvaposi
ti
onespeci
all
y
thepartwher
eIhadt
oconv
incet
hem t
oletme
cremateyou"
Me:"
Ineededt
ogetawayel
seTsakanewoul
d
hav
ekill
edme"
Hi
m:"
youst
il
lhav
en'
tfi
l
ledmei
n"
Me:
"pl
easenotnow,
onemor
ethi
ng"
Hi
m:"
nokhensane"
Me:
"cany
ouhel
pmewi
tht
hisbag?
"
Hi
m:"
that
'st
hel
astf
avourf
rom me"
Me:
"Ist
il
lowey
ouone"
Hi
m:"
indeedy
oudo"

Hehelpedcar
rymybagint
othecar,
thesewere
afewunnoti
ceabl
ethi
ngst
hatIt
ookfrom my
house

°
°
°
°

Bonang

WhenKemi set
socall
edmet otel
lmet hat
Khensanewasnomor e,myheartbroke.We
werecloseandeveni
fjeal
ousygotthebestof
memaki ngmesleepwithherboyf
ri
endwho
tur
nedupt obemybloodbr other(
worst
punishmentev
er)
.Ireall
ylovedherandher
deathgavemesleeplessnights

Ihadsett
ledwel
linMozambi queandsentthem
hal
fofthemoneysot heycouldi
nvestandsav e
andhopeful
lyMxoli
sidoesn'
tfi
ndmeorwor se,
doanythi
ngtomyl ovedones

Thethoughtofnotbeingabl
etogotomy
fr
iend'
sfuneral
reall
ygottohi
m butIhadt
oli
e
l
owespeci al
l
yaftertaki
ng5mill
i
on

°
°
°
°
Kemi
set
so

I
twassadwal ki
ngintheMbat hahousehold
becauseitwasf i
ll
edwithgloom,Jaywalked
wit
hmeandwentt osi
twi t
hTsakaneofferi
ng
hi
scondol ences.Ist
il
lcan'tbel
i
evehowhar d
hecriedwhenIt ol
dhimt hebadnews

MrMbat hahadaskedmet owor kwi

thhim
from home, businesswassobadbecausehe
hadtakenhisey esoffthebal
lforawhi
leand
nowwewer eforcedt oworki
nthemiddl
eof
thefuneral

Ibroughthi
m hisdr
inkathi
sst
udy,hewas
stari
ngoutofthewindowcl
ear
lyshat
ter
ed
Me:
"yourdr
inksi
r"
Hi
m:"
thanksKemmyshal
lwewor
k?"
Me:
"cer
tai
nlysi
r"
Hi
m:"
cal
lmeNi
copl
ease"

Therewassomet hingaboutthewayhesai dmy

nameandt hewayhel ookedatme.We
checkedthepapers,fi
l
esandr ecordsand
businesswasreal
lyfall
ingapartbutNicodi
d
hi
smagi candplacedhisducksi narow

I
twasamazinghowhecouldnai
lthosestuf
f
whi
lehewasn'
tokay
.Icoul
dlear
nal otf
rom
hi
m

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Myfatherwasn'
thappywiththecremat
ionbut
i
twasdone,wewer ehav
ingani nt
imat
epr i
vat
e
f
uneralandhewascompl ai
ningthewholeti
me

Him:
"howcoul
dy oucremat
eherwi
thoutus
seei
ngherf
orthelastti
me?
"

Hesai
dthisasIbr
oughthi
m andmyuncl
e
sometea

Me:"
itwasahast
ydeci
sionandt
hedoct
or
di
dn'
tgivememuchofachoice"
Hi
m:"
whatwi
l
lwesayt
othef
ami
l
y?"
Me:
"t
het
rut
hfat
her
,theset
hingshappen"
Hi
m:"St
eveli
stentothischil
d,theycr
emated
mydaught
erwi t
houtmyper missionandshe'
s
t
ell
i
ngmet hatthesethingshappen"
Me:"
father
,wil
lal
ldueandr
espectcanwel
et
Khensaneresti
npeace"
Hi
m:"
whatpeace?
!"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryf
atherbutIt
hinki
t'
sfort
hebest
"
Hi
m:"
gaaah"

Iwentt
othebedr
oom wher emymom wasat,
shewastal
ki
ngquietl
yandurgent
lyonher
phonet
hatshedi
dn'tnot
icemypresence

Her
:"
..
.Ican'
tbel
iev
eitmybabygir
lbutyesI
won'
ttell
anyone..
.okaybesaf
e,I
'
llgethome
assoonasIcan.
..
Ilov
eyout
oo.
.okayby
e..
."
Me:
"whowast
hat
"

Shenear
lydr
oppedherphonewhenIasked,
shel
ookedli
keshewashidi
ngsomethi
ng

Her
:"
Tsakanewhyar
eyoueav
esdr
oppi
ng?
"
Me:
"Iwasn'
t"
Her
:"
okay
"
Me:
"sowhowast
hat
?"
Her
:"
noone"
Me:
"soy
ouwer
eli
ter
all
ytal
ki
ngt
oyour
sel
f"
Her
:"
Iwast
alki
ng?
"
Me:
"whenIgother
eyouwer
eony
ourphone"
Her
:"
ohy
eah"
Me:
"outwi
thi
t"
Isatdownf
aci
ngherandshel
ookedaway

Her
:"
someonef
rom thechur
chy ouknowhow
t
hesepeopl
ear
e,sendingt
heircondol
ences"
Me:
"youmeansecr
etcondol
ences"
Her
:"
huh?
"
Me:"
consi
der
ingt
haty
ouar
enotgoi
ngt
otel
l
any
one"
Her
:"don'
tyoudar
eint
err
ogat
eme.I
'
myour
mother"
Me:"
sur
ethi
ng,
let
'snotf
ightandmour
nmy
t
win"
Her
:"
exact
ly"

Mymot heri
sdefi
nitel
yhidi
ngsomet
hing
becauseshekeptshif
ti
ngli
keshewasbeing
bit
tenbybedbugsandherey
esweredar
ti
ng
every
where.I
'
m goi
ngtogettot
hebot
tom of
thi
s

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Imissedeveryt
hingabouther,herscentwhi
ch
wasstil
lonmynost ri
l
s,herlaughterandher
fr
eespiri
tedsel
f.

Thewor stpar
tisnotknowi
ngwhatr
eal
ly
happened.Iwasamessandeasyevery
one
coul
dseehowf
uckedupIwas

Idi
smissedKemmybecausesher emindedme
somuchofKhensane,herskinnysel
fandher
beaut
ywereall
aboutKhensane

Me:
"youmaygonow"
Her
:"
thankswoul
dthatbeal
l
?"
Me:
"f
ort
heday
,yes"
Her
:"
Ihopey
ouheal
from t
his"

Iwasabouttol
ashatherbutIsawt
hatshe
meantwell

Me:
"t
hanksKemmy
,Iwi
l
l"
Her
:"
itget
sbet
terwi
tht
ime"
Me:
"yesi
tdoes"
Her:
"don'
tdr
ownyour
sel
finboozeandswamp
your
selfwi
thwor
k,t
akei
teasy"
Me:
"don'
twor
ryIwi
l
l.Thanksf
orcar
ing"
Her
:"
it
'scool
bye"

Sheclosesthedoorbehi
ndherandIgav
ea
weaksmi l
e,it
'sact
ual
lyni
cewhensomeone
actual
l
ycares.Iwenttost
areoutoft
hewindow
taki
ngoutmyphone

Me:"
Khensane!OhhowIl
ongt
oheary
our
voi
ce"

Idi
aledhernumberusingpri
vat
enumber
thi
nkingt
hatI'
l
lhearhervoi
cethroughthevoi
ce
mailbutt
hephonerangt omygreatestshock
Her
:"
hel
l
o..
.mama?.
..
"

Thenshekeptqui
etasi
fshehadfor
gott
enthat
shewassupposedtost
ayhi
dden.Theperson
qui
ckl
yhungupandwhenIredial
ed,
thephone
wasoff

Ist
art
edcry i
ngandwai li
ngbecauseIwas
i
maginingthi
ngs, Khensaneisnomoreandhere
Iam t
hinki
ngt hatIheardheranswerherphone

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t51
Khensane

Iforgottochangemynumber (
infact
,Ididn'
t
forget.Iwantedmymot hertoreachmeeasi ly
becauseshedoesn' thav emynewnumber )now
Idon'tknowwhocal ledandhopef ull
ytheydon't
getsuspi ci
ous.Iwaswai ti
ngformymot her's
callthat'
swhyIdidast upidthi
ngofanswer ing
myphone

Dist
ancedmy selff
rom ukunya,ukuny
elwaand
namanyala.Inolongerwantrevengebecause
webothlostinnocentsoulst
hroughsomet hi
ng
notworthit

Ihadpureint
ent
ionstenyear
sagobutitl
ooks
l
ikeIcr
eatedawar ,
gett
ingawayf
rom Tsakane
wast
hebestt
hingIcoul
dthi
nkof

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Whyhast
hesunr
efusedt
oshi
ne?
Whydot
hebi
rdssi
ngnomor
e?
Tomor
rowusher
eandy
etIcr
y
Qui
etl
ysowi
thaheav
y
Whydowel
i
vei
fwel
i
vet
odi
e?
Whydoesi
thur
tcozi
thur
tssobad?
Icoul
df eel
thetear
srunni
ngdownmycheeks
asIsi
ppedont hewhisky,
herdeat
hmademe
weak,veryweak.Thesongwasonrepeat

Itwast hesongthatCancernevergott
ofini
sh
becauseshedi ed,shedi
dn'tgetachanceto
mot hermychi l
dandenjoyli
fe.Iwoul
dhav e
spoiledthefourpeopler
ott
enbutnoi tal
lended
beforeitcouldbegin

IsentKemmyanemai laboutsomeproj
ects.I
openedmyWhat sAppandshewasonl i
ne.I'
ve
neverspokent
oheront heappbef
ore

[
Conv
ersat
ion]

*
Me:
"hi
"
Her
:"
heybosshowar
eyouhol
dingup?
"
Me:
"I
'm goodt
hanksf
oraski
ng"
Her
:"
I'
m gl
adt
oheart
hat
"
Me:
"di
dyougett
heemai
lIj
ustsent
?"
Her
:"
nopebutI
'
llcheckj
ustnow"
Me:
"pl
easedosobecauset
hedeadl
i
nei
s
t
omorrow"
Hi
m:"
okaysi
r"
Me:
"cool
"*

Iwantedtoprolongtheconver
sation,may be
askherhow'sshe'sdoingbutIdi
dn't.Inst
ead,I
l
ookedatherpr ofi
l
epicandshei sbeaut i
ful
to
behonest.Iendedupcheckingherst atus
messagesandshehadagr eatsenseof
humourforsomeoneherage

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Icouldn'
tshakeofft
hefeel
ingt
hatsomet
hing
fi
shywasgoi ngonwithmymom.Shekept
checkingherphoneasifex
pect
ingasecr
etcal
l
orsomet hi
ng

Iwentt
ohertogiveherandmyt woauntssome
teawi
thsconesandshequickl
yhidherphone

Mama:
"t
hanksbaby
"
Aunt
y1:
"youshoul
drestbabygi
rl
"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lrest
"
Mama:
"r
unni
ngar
oundi
snotgoodf
ort
hebaby
"
Me:
"okaymama"

Isatdownwi t
hthem andhadsomet eamy sel
f.
Ihadf or
gottenaboutthepregnancyandI
real
isedthatI'
vebeenneglecti
ngmybaby

Aunt
y2:"
fi
nal
l
yyouarepr
egnant
.Wewer
e
st
art
ingt
ogetwor
ri
ed"
Me:
"whywoul
dyoubewor
ri
ed?
"
Aunt
y2:"
it
'sj
ustsomyster
ioushowf
astand
qui
ckl
yyougotmarr
ied"
Mama:
"t
hat
'senoughPhi
na"
Aunty1:"
whywoul
dyour
ushi
ntomar
ri
age
Tsakane?"
Me:
"Idi
dn'tknowt
hatther
ewasanage
r
est
rict
ionformar
ri
age"
Mama:
"mydaught
erwasluckyenought
oget
mar
ri
edatayoungage"
Aunt
y1:"atsomepoi
ntt
houghtshewas
i
nfer
ti
le"
Me:
"Ibet
tergetsomef
reshai
r"

Myaunt
swerestar
tingt
oannoymeandIwent
t
omybedroom t
ofindNicol
ooki
nathi
sphone

Me:
"Cancer
?"
Hi
m:"
yeahcan'
tbel
i
eveshe'
sgone"
Me:
"t
hepai
nandgui
l
tI'
l
lli
vewi
th"
Hi
m:"
whatgui
l
t?"
Me:
"uhm .
..t
hegui
l
tofnotchecki
nguponher
"
Hi
m:"
ohohkmet
ooIguess"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
comeher
e"

Heopenedhi
sar
msandhel
dmet
ight
ly

Hi
m:"
we'
l
lpul
lthr
ough"
Me:
"Ihopewedosof
ast
"
Hi
m:"
yeah"

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwentt
otheshopsf
oraf
ewmi
nut
es
andwhenIcameback, t
hebabywasgone.I
hadlef
tRemoi nmyroom becauseIdi
dn'
twant
todi
sturbhersl
eepbutnowshewasnowhere
tobefound

Noonebr okeinanditl
ooksl
i
ket
heyhadakey
becauseIunlockedt
hedoor
Iputmyhandsonmyheadandt
hennextIsaw
wasblurt
henli
ght
sout

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
Isawmyparentsoff
,myfatherwasstil
ltal
ki
ng
withNi
coandIwaswi t
hmymot heri
nthecar.
Myuncleandauntsl
eftonanothercar

Me:
"I
'l
lcomehomef
oraf
ewday
sjustt
ocl
ear
myhead"
Her:
"noy
oustaywit
hyourhusbandmybaby
.
Youneedeachot
her"
Me:
"butIneedt
ocl
earmyhead"
Her
:"
nodon'
tcome"

Hert
oneshockedme,
it'
sli
keshe'
shi
ding
somethi
ngathome

Mw:
"ex
cuseme?
"
Her:
"Imeantyoucan'
tj
ustbehaveasi
fyouar
e
notmarr
ied,y
ourhusbandneedsyou"
Me:
"coul
dhav
efool
edme"

Justthen,
myfat
hercameandwensai dour
goodbyesbutmymother
'sbehav
iourwas
gett
ingtomeandIhadaplan

Me:
"by
eguy
str
avel
wel
l
"
Them:
"by
est
aywel
l
"

TheyleftandShanduandIwerelef
ttodealwith
the'
after'
part
.Idebat
edwhetherornotIshoul
d
tel
lhi
m aboutmymot her'
sst
rangebehaviour
butIdidn'
t

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Ihadtakenref
ugeeathomet houghmyf ather
doesn'
tknowany t
hing.I
'
m planningtolaylow
herebecauseatl
eastIwill
bef arfrom Tsakane,
i
fIhadmoney ,Iwouldfl
eetoanot hercountry

Ihear
dthem geti
nthehouse

Fat
her:"
youknow,If
eel
guil
tyfornotgiv
ing
Khensanethel
oveshedeser
vedwhi l
egrowing
up"
Mot
her
:"
atl
easty
ouwer
enowi
ngoodt
erms"
Him:"
butst
il
l,
thet
oughlovemadehert
o
bel
ievet
hatIl
ovedherl
ess"
Her
:"
let
'snott
alkaboutt
hat
"
Hi
m:"Idi
dn'tgetachancet
oletherknowhow
muchIlovedher"

Thatt
ouchedmedeepl
yandIshedat
ear

Her
:"
youdi
dthet
imeshewasatt
hehospi
tal
"
Him:"
thatwasneverenough..
.I'
m goingtot
hei
r
room t
ogetherfavour
itedol
l
.Itwil
lremindme
ofher"

Iheardfoot
stepscomi
ngtowardstheroom.My
heartal
mostgav ei
nandIqui
cklywenttohi
de
behindt
hebed

Her
:"
noy
oucan'
tgot
her
e"
Hi
m:"
whynot
?"
Her:
"becauseitwi
llonlyhurty
ou.BesidesI'
ve
al
readyclear
edthet oy
s.Remembert hatit
's
beenagessincetheylefthome"

Thefoot
stepsst
oppedandIhear
dhi
m dr
awi
n
asharpbreat
h

Hi
m:"
okay
"

Myhear
tnear
lycameoutofmymout h.May
be
comi
ngherewasabadideaaf
teral
l

°
°
°
°
Bonang

WhenIcamet o,
Iwasti
edtoabedinmyr oom
andMxoli
siwasfeedi
ngthebaby.Myheadhur t
alotandIcoul
dn'
tseecl
earl
y.Mxoli
sif
inall
y
tur
ned

Hi
m:"
lookRemo,
thet
hiefhaswoken"
Me:
"unt
ieme"
Hi
m:"
hel
lnah"
Me:
"pl
easeMxol
i
si"
Hi
m:"
nope"
Me:
"butI
'
m beggi
ngy
ou"
Hi
m:"Idon'
twanty
out
obeg,
Iwanty
out
o
l
ear
n"

Iswal
l
owedhar
dandheputRemodown.I
noti
cedthathernappybagwaspacked.He
tookouthisgun

Me:
"ar
eyougoi
ngt
oki
l
lme?
"
Hi
m:"onsecondt
hought
sno,
youar
egoi
ngt
o
ki
l
lyoursel
f"
Me:
"what
?"
Hi
m:"
it
'l
lbef
unt
owat
ch"
Me:
"youar
esi
ck"
Hi
m:"
may
be"
Me:
"t
hat
'swhyIr
anaway
"
Him:"
youcoul
dhav
elef
tmyhar
dear
nedmoney
outofthi
s"
Me:
"Iwasdesper
ate"

Hel
aughedatmesohar
dthati
thur
tme
Hi
m: "
I'
mlett
ingy
oul i
vebecausey
ouar
ethe
motherofmygir
l,getupl
et'
sgo"
Me:
"I
'mt
iedup"
Hi
m:"
Iknow"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Tobecont
inued.
..
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t52

Tsakane

Iwasf
eel
i
nggui
l
tyaboutt
hedeat
hofmyt
win
buttwot hi
ngsreal
lywor
ri
edme, onewast
hat
Nicoseemedmor ebr
okenthanmeandhe
wasn'tcoping.

Ican'
thelpbutwonderi
fhewouldr
eactt
he
sameifitwasmewhohaddi ed

Iwonderifit
'sbecauseheknewt
hatshewas
pregnantorwhat.Myheadwasspinni
ngasI
tookmyv it
aminsandhecameoutofthe
shower

Me:
"ohShandu"
Hi
m:"
mor
ningMbat
ha"
Me:
"t
houghty
ouwentj
oggi
ng"
Him:
"Iwentabi
tear
li
erbecauseIneedt
osor
t
somethi
ngoutwi
thKemisetso"
Me:
"Kemi
set
so?
"
Hi
m:"
ohmynewPA"

Idi
dn'tknowhehadanewPAbuti tdi
dn't
matter.Iwatchedhim put
ti
ngonhi
ssuitandI
gotupt ofi
xhistie

Me:
"I
'm goi
nghomet
oni
ght
"
Hi
m:"
why
?"
Me:"
ther
e'ssomethi
ngIneedv
eryqui
ckl
ybutI
'
ll
bebackbythenextday
"
Hi
m:"
whydi
dn'
tyoul
eav
ewi
tht
hem t
hen?
"
Me:"
thi
ssuddenl
ycamei
ntomymi
ndy
est
er
ni
ght"
Him:
"hopeful
l
yyou'
l
ltel
lmeev
ery
thi
ngwhen
yougetback"
Me:
"Isur
ewi
l
l,t
her
e'sl
otst
odi
scuss"
Hi
m:"
about
?"
Me:
"Khensane"

Hegotuneasybutpret
endedtobeokay
.Helef
t
andIpackedaminibag,i
t'
sti
memymot her
tol
dmewhat '
sgoingon

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Mymom camei
nwi
thapl
ateoft
hef
oodandI
gotup
Her
:"
mor
ningnana"
Me:
"wher
e'sdad?
"
Her
:"
wentoutt
orunsomeer
rands"
Me:
"ohkbutmamaI
'
m notsaf
eher
e"
Her
:"
thatInot
iced"
Me:"Idon'
thav
ewhatI
'm goingt
odonow
becauseIcan'
thi
dei
nthi
sr oom f
orev
er"
Her
:"
itwasy
ouri
dea"
Me:
"Iknowmay
bei
twasn'
tfort
hebest
"
Her
:"
okaynanaIheary
ou"

Shehel
dbot
hmyhandsandt
ookadeepbr
eat
h

Me:
"what
?"
Her
:"
whati
sgoi
ngon?
"
Me:
"how?
"
Her:
"whywouldyouf
akey ourdeat
h,hur
tother
peoplet
hatwayandstuf
f?whatareyouafr
aid
of?"

Idreadedt
hismoment,IknewthatIhadt
otell
heronewayoranotherbutri
ghtnowIwasn'
t
ready.Myt
hroatgotdr
yandt hel
umpslowly
formed

Me:
"mamaIdi
dsomet
hingt
err
ibl
e.Ver
y
t
err
ibl
e"
Hee:
"whatdi
dyoudonana?
"
Me:
"Iki
l
ledani
nnocentsoul
"
Her
:"
youdi
danabor
ti
on?
"
Me:
"nowor
se"
Her
:"
whatdi
dyoudo?
"
Icr
iedandt
oldherev
ery
thi
ngf
rom scr
atch

°
°
°
°

Kemmy

Iwokeupveryear
lyandpackedmyt hi
ngs.I
wasgoinghomewithJafterspendi
ngti
mewi t
h
mymotherwhowasgoi ngbacktoworktoday

Mymom andIwentt otheMbat hahousehol

d
t
ogetherandIgoti
nthecarwi t
hMrMbat ha.He
l
ookedv er
yni
ceinthatneatnavybl
uesuitand
bl
ockti
e.Event
houghhisfaceshowedt
hathe
i
sn'
thappyhesti
ll
lookedgood

Hi
m:"
mor
ningKemmy
"
Me:
"mor
ningsi
r"
Hi
m:"
Nico"
Me:
"mor
ningNi
co"
Hi
m:"
howar
eyou?
"
Me:
"gr
eatt
hanksy
our
sel
f?"
Hi
m:"
I'
m get
ti
ngt
her
e"
Me:
"onest
epatat
ime"

Wekeptqui
etunti
lwer
eachedtheoffi
ce.Iwent
t
omakehim coff
eeandbroughthi
m hi
sf i
l
es

Me:
"yourcof
eeandy
ourf
il
essi
r"
Hi
m:"
thanks"
Me:
"doy
ouneedany
thi
ngel
se?
"
Hi
m:"
Iwoul
dli
kef
ory
out
okeepmecompany
"
Me:
"uhm .
.."
Him:"
itmeansleav
eyourdeskandcomewor
k
herei
nmyof fi
ce"
Me:
"ohal
ri
ght
"
Hi
m:"
good"

Itookmyt hi
ngsandwewor kedt
oget
herwhi
l
e
tal
kingaboutrandom t
hings

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Itreal
l
ywasabadi deat odr
ivemy sel
fhome
becauseitwasaverylongjourneyandIwas
tir
ed.Ist
oppedbyagar agetobuysomet hi
ngt
o
eatthenfel
tmybabyki ckasIi ndul
gedi
nthe
pie

Me: "
dearGod, IknowwhatIDi dcotwaswr ong
andbel i
evethatmewhenIsayI '
m notthatkind
ofpersonal.Pleaseforgi
vemeandl et
Khensaner estinpeaceandf orgiv
eherf orwhat
shedi dtomeohGod"Ist artcryi
ngasIt hought
ofwhatIdi d"allIwantisforeveryt
hingtobe
normal ,
Ican'tli
vewiththi
sguiltyconscious
please.Amen"
Idr
ankthewat
erIboughtt
hencont
inuedwi
th
myjour
ney

°
°
°
°

Bonang

IswearIam goingt
odieintot
hehandsof
Mxoli
si,l
astni
ghthetor
turedmef orr
unning
awayfrom wit
hhismoneyandt hatal
readyhal
f
ofi
twasgone

Il
ayther
einpainwatchi
nghi
m bat
handfeed
Remo,wheneverhewaswit
hher,t
hemonster
i
nhi
m woul
ddi
sappear

Heusedat aseronmybodyandi twasv er

y
pai
nf ul
.Hethr
ewmesomepai nkil
l
ersand
spl
ashedmewi t
hwaterandIclosedmyey es
hopingtowakefrom what
everI'
m going
thr
ough

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Kemiset
soi
sav eryhar
dworki
ngyounglady
andshe'
sdedi
cated.Wemanagedtoevendo
t
omor
row'
swor kaf
terhav
ingl
unchtogether
.
Nowi
twaslat
eandwewer egather
ingourstuf
f

Her
:"
it
'sl
ateandIbet
tergetgoi
ng"
Me:
"nonsenseI
'
lldr
opy
ouof
f"
Her:
"not
hankssi
rI'
m notgoi
ngt
omymot
her
's
pl
ace"
Me:
"wher
every
ouneedt
ogoi
t'
sokay
"
Her
:"i
t'
sabi
tawkwardbecauseact
ual
l
yI'
m
goi
ngtomyboyfr
iend'
s"
Me:
"ohohk"
Her
:"
yeah"
Me: "
butsti
ll
I'
m dr
oppi
ngy
ouoffi
tsnotsaf
e
especial
lyaft
ert
heti
meIl
efty
oustr
andedthat
night"
Her
:"
lol
you'
renotgoi
ngt
ogi
veupar
eyou?
"
Me:
"yougotmet
her
e..
.Ladi
esf
ir
st"
Wewereabouttowalkouttheirdoorwhent
he
fi
l
essli
ppedoffherhandsandpill
edonthe
fl
oor
.Wewentdownatt hesamet i
meandwe
bumpedourheads

Her
:"
ouchouch"
Me:
"shi
tI'
m sor
ry"
Her
:"
lol
itsj
ustl
i
kei
nthemov
ies"
Me:
"yeahIt
houghtt
heset
hingsonl
yhappen
t
her
e"
Her
:"
seemsl
i
kei
t'
sourl
uck"

Ihel
pedherupaf terwepickedupt
hefi
lesand
shealmostdoubledoversoIhadtogr
abherby
thewaistt
obalanceher
Me:
"Ohgot
cha"
Her
:"
thanks"

Shesmi l
edandIblushedbecausehersmilel
it
upmymood.Icuppedherf aceandbroughti
t
cl
osetomi ne.Shelookeratmewithsomuch
desi
re.Iranmyf i
ngerdownherli
psandshe
cl
osedherey es

Me:
"youar
ever
ybeaut
if
ul"
Her
:"
thanky
ou"
Me:
"Iwantt
osaymanyt
hingsbut
."

Sheki
ssedmeandIret
urnedtheki
ss,
herl
ips
werev
erysof
tandsweet.Ipul
l
edawayaft
er
someti
me
Me:
"l
et'
snotpl
ease"shelookedaway ,
Icoul
dn'
t
mi
ssthepai
ninHerey es"I
'm sor
ry"
Her
:"
okay
"

Wedroveinsi
l
enceandshesaidgoodby
ethen
wal
kedtothefl
at.Icoul
dn'
tdot
hist
oherno.I
dowanttohur
therinanyway

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I
tget
scompl
i
cat
ed
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t53

Kemi
set
so
Igoti
nandt ookal
ongshowert hi
nkingabout
whathappenedint
heoff
ice.Ishouldn'
thave
donewhatIdid

Jaycameintothebat hr
oom ,
hedraggedme
downst
airsandInoticedrosepet
als.Theywer
e
onthefl
oorfrom t
hest ai
rsgoi
ngalltheway
downtotheli
v i
ngroom

Me:
(hol
dingmyt
owel
)"
ohwow"

Hel ookedatmeandsmi l
edandt ookmyhand
tothelounge.Hehadspr eadablanketonthe
carpetandencircl
edcushionsaround.Candles
andf oodindecoratedbowls..
.si
mpl e
takeaways,pizza,chi
ckenstri
ps,Frenchf
ri
es,
salad,rol
l
sandt herewaswi ne
Hi
m:"
fory
oumyl
ove"

Het ookmyhandsandgui dedmetositont

he
blanketthenhesatoppositeofme.Theset
ti
ng
wasv eryromanti
c,scentedcandl
es,t
heonl
y
thingsli
ghtingupthelounge

Me:
"wowbabe"
Hi
m:"
it
'sbeaut
if
ulIknow"
Me:
"youwental
lout
"
Him:"j
ustwantedasimpl
edinnerandf
orget
aboutthewholeCancert
hingy,
Iknowyouare
crazyaboutghett
ofood"
Me:
"youknowmesowel
lcozt
hisi
sheav
en"
Him:
"don'
teverdoubtmyl
ovef
ory
ou
Kemi
setso"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lnev
er"

Weatewhilecat
chinguponrandom thi
ngs,
nextt
hinghepul
ledmecloserandkissedme.I
gotafl
ashbackofwhathappenedintheoff
ice
andpull
edawaythenrantoourroom

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Ireal
lydi
dn'
tsl
eepwellbecauseIkeptt
hinki
ng
aboutKemiset
so,
Iwasn'tgoingtouseheras
reboundorsomet
hing.Ij
ustwanthertodo
whatshedoesbest

Maybeki
ssesherwaswr ongofmeandal lbutI
coul
dn'
thel
pmy sel
fbecauseIfel
tat
tract
edt o
heri
nawayt hatshockedme

Itr
iedcall
i
ngbuther e'
sphonewasoff
.Ipoured
my sel
fsomewhi skeyanddrownedmysorr
ows
thi
st i
methinki
ngaboutKhensanemybeloved

°
°
°
°

Khensane
Mymot hercameintot
heroom hol
dingmy
di
nner.Sheneverj
udgedmeforwhatItol
dher
butshedidn'
tl
ikei
tonebi
t.

Me:
"Iwassowor
ri
edt
hatIwoul
dn'
teatt
oni
ght
"
Her:
"Iknowi
t'
sveryl
atebutIhadt
owai
tfor
yourdadtol
eave"
Me:
"wher
edi
dhego?
"
Her:
"hewascal
l
edur
gent
lybysomepeopl
e
bl
ahblah"
Me:
"wheni
shecomi
ngback?
"
Her
:"
thedayaf
tert
omor
row"
Me:
"phweeatl
eastIcanbr
eat
he"
Her
:"
yesy
oucancomesl
eepwi
thme"
Me:
"ofcour
seI
'
dlov
eto"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Igotther
ewhi l
eitwassti
ll
earlyandrushedi
n
becauseIwasv eryt
ir
ed.AllIwantedwasto
thr
owmy sel
fonmymot her'
sbedandr estabit
butatthesamet i
meIwant edtocomeshouting
'
surpri
se!
'

Iopenedthedoorandf r
oze,Khensanewasi
n
theki
ttenfr
yingeggs.Iscr
eamed, shej
umped
andscreamedt oo.Mymot herr
antous

Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?
"Si
l
ence"
whatt
hehel
li
s
happeni
ng?
"
Twi
n:"
I..
."
Me:
"speakupIcan'
theary
ou"

Isteppedclosertoher,sheisaliveandI'
vebeen
thinki
ngthatIkil
l
edher.Igotcl osetoherand
slappedher,
mymom t r
iedt ostopmebutIwas
toostrong.Khensanedidn'tfi
ghtback(andif
shedidI'dbeblackandbl ue)shejustst
ood
thereperpl
exed.Ihitheront hechestwhile
screaming

Me:"
howcouldyoudot hi
stome
Khensane?
howevercouldyoumama?
"
Mama:
"Tsakane!
"
Twi
n:"
hitmet
winIdeser
vei
tal
l
"
Me:
"ofcour
sey
oudoy
oul
i
ttl
esnake"
Mama:
"yout
woshoul
dsi
tdownandt
alk"
Me:"someonet
ell
mesomet
hing.What
'st
he
ghostdoi
nghere?
"

Theywereshocked,obviouslynotexpect
ingme
butcl
earl
yIwasn'texpecti
ngKhensanet obe
al
iveandwelll
i
ket hi
s.That'swhymymot her
wasacti
ngup.Iwonderi fmyf atherknew

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Ther
ewasaboar
droom meet
ingIhadt
oat
tend
t
othi
smorni
ngandIdon'
tknowhowIam going
t
ofaceKemmyaft
erwhathappenedl
astni
ght

Idr
ovetothecompanyandwhenIwenti
n,she
wasal
readyinmyoffi
ce

Me:
"Kemi
set
soI.
..
"
Her:
"you'
vegotaboardr
oom meeti
ngi
nfi
ve
minut
esandy ou'
l
lneedthi
s,t
hisandt
hat
"

Shedidn'
tgi
vemeachancet
ospeak,
shej
ust
handedmemyf i
l
es

Me:
"canwet
alk?
"
Her:
"yourmeet
ingisi
nt hr
eeminutesyoubett
er
gett
ot heboar
droom now.I'
l
lbr
ingyourcoff
ee"
Sheturnedandhercol
dnessdidst
ingbutI
wenttotheboardr
oom andshegavememy
coff
ee.Themeet i
ngstar
tedandIwasn't
concentr
ati
ng

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Idon'tknowhowmymot herconvi
ncedusto
tal
kthingsthroughbutshelockedusinour
room andswor enottoopeni fwehaven'
t
solv
edouri ssues
I
twasawkwardbutIdeci
dedtobr
eakt
heice.
Shewaslooki
ngatmewithazer
oexpr
essi
on
reader

Me:"
noamountofpai
ncancompar
etowhatI
f
eltwhenIl
ostmybaby"
Her
:"
Iknowt
hatf
eel
i
ngv
erywel
l
"
Me:"I
'm sor
ryf
oreveryt
hingIputyouthr
ough.
I'
m sorr
yaboutyourhusband.I
'm sor
ryabout
every
thing"

Shesatdownsothatwewer
epar
all
elt
oeach
otherwhi
l
eImeantever
yword

Her
:"
met
oo"
Me:
"huh?
"
Her
:"
yeahmet
oo.
..Ishoul
dhav
eknownbet
ter
t
hant
ofi
ghtf
ir
ewi
thf
ir
e"
Me:
"i
t'
snoty
ourf
aul
t,I
'
mtheev
ilone"
Her
:"
nonono"
Me:
"i
t'
str
ue"
Her:
"noit
snot.I'
veal
waysbeent
hejealoust
win
becauseyoualwaysgott
hespot
li
ght"
Me:
"noway
s"
Her:
"yesev
eryguywant
edy ouandyouwerea
l
it
tl
ecelebr
itysi
ncewegrewup.Ifel
tli
keI
wasn'
tgoodenough"
Me:"youaregood,ver
ygood.Youhandl
ethi
ngs
excepti
onall
ywell
"
Her:
"Iwasev
enj
eal
oust
hatNi
cocr
ushedon
youback"
Me:
"t
hat
'swhyy
ousl
eptwi
thhi
m?"
Her:
"not
hatjusthappenedandyouknow,
I
nev
erthoughtofapologi
singt
oyou"
Me:
"t
her
e'snot
hingt
obesor
ryabout
"
Her
:"
youwer
ehur
ttwi
n"
Me:
"Iwas"

Iagr
eedt
hinki
ngabouthowt
hatcutmedeepl
y

Her:
"soIhopeyoucanf
orgivemet hewayI
'
m
al
sowi l
l
ingtof
orgi
veever
ything"
Me:
"i
t'
snoteasy
"
Her
:"
Iknowbutwecanatl
eastt
ry"

Nextthi
ngwel aughedi
toffandhoggedeach
ot
her.Webot hknewthati
twouldchangeour
l
iv
esf or
everbutthehur
ti
nghastostop

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Iwaswalki
ngoutoft
hebui
ldi
ngwhenacar
near
lyhi
tme.I
twasNicoandherol
l
eddown
hi
swindow.Ir
oll
edmyeyesathi
m

Hi
m:"
you'
vebeenav
oidi
ngme"
Me:
"whywoul
dIdot
hat
?"
Hi
m:"
somet
hingt
odowi
thl
astni
ghtmay
be"
Me:
"si
rify
oudon'
tmi
ss.Ineedt
ogethome"
Hi
m:"
geti
n"
Me:
"I
'mf
inet
hanks"
Hi
m:"don'
tmakemecomedyt
her
eanddr
agy
ou
i
nthecar?"

Ihesi
tat
edabi
tbutgoti
nandwedr
oveof
f..
.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Unedi
ted
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t54

Kemmy

Wedrovequi
etl
ybutthatchangedaswe
appr
oachedhi
shouse.Ilookedathi
mfrom t
he
cor
nerofmyey
e

Me:
"whyar
eweher
e?"
Hi
m:"
tot
alkwi
thoutdi
stur
bance"
Me:
"t
hisi
smadness"
Hi
m:"
let
'sgoi
n"
Me:
"nomymot
herwor
ksher
e"
Hi
m:"
okayl
et'
sgot
omysui
tet
hen"
Me:
"hai
nol
et'
stal
kint
hecar
"
Hi
m:"
noLet
'sgot
omysui
te"
Me:
"ohGody
oul
i
kebei
ngabul
l
y"

Hegav
emeadev
il
ishsmi
l
e

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Mama:"i
ttakesbraverytosortoutsomethi
ng
l
iket
hiswithoutvi
olat
ion,Khensane,Iwantyou
t
opromisemet oleav
eTsakaneal one"
Me:"
consi
deri
tdone.Icanev
enf
eel
thebur
den
of
fmyshoulder
s"
Her
:"
yespl
easest
artonacl
eansl
ate"
Me:
"yesmama"

Weweretal
ki
ngaboutt
hiswhileTsakanewas
st
il
lsl
eepi
nginourr
oom.Itwasearlyi
nthe
morni
ngandI'
m gl
adwetalkedthi
ngsthrough.
Nottosaywe'l
lbeal
lhunkydor
ryasofy
etbut
knowingmytwin,
she'
ll
makesurewemov e
pastt
hispoi
nt

Iwaspressuredtocomebackt oearth,ali
ve
andwellandluckil
ythemedianewnot hing
aboutmy'death'soIjusthav
etofacethe
embarr
assmentofshowi ngmysel
ftothepubli
c

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

If
eltmyl
egbei
ngl
i
ftedandhi
sthumbr
ubbed
myclit.Iwasfacingtheot herwayhavi
nghim
atmyback. Myhandwentt ohi
shardcockand
Imassagedit.Nextthingitwasinsi
demov i
ng
sl
owlythenincreasi
ngt hepaceuntil
Icoul
dn't
breat
h

Hefil
ledeveryspacehef oundinmeandI
gaspedforbreathasthebitter
sweetmoment
came.Mywal l
scontr
actedandIreleasedwhi
l
e
hewasst i
l
l goi
ngfast.

Me:
"Ihav
etopee"
Hi
m:"
that
'snotpeey
ouar
efeel
i
ng"
Me:
"ohGod"

Hedidn'tstop,
inst
ead,
hemademegetont op
andguidedme.Iwasabi tshybutheseemed
tounderstand.Thi
sisthefir
stt
imeIreached
r
ealcl
i
maxbutI
'vebeensleepingwi
thJayf
ora
l
ongti
mewit
houtexper
iencingsuch

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

AsIlayinbed, It
houghtofmyself
.Iwantpeace
andtranquil
l
ity
.Ialwaysfor
giv
eeasil
yandthis
ti
mei twasabi thar
dtodealwithwhat
KhensanedidbutbecauseIwantpeaceI'l
lact
l
ikenothingeverhappened

Iwantoutofmymar
ri
aget
houghbecauseI
knowthatShandudoesn'
tl
ov eme,ev
enifhe
doesali
ttl
e,Khensanewi
llal
waysbeathear
t
andther
e'snothi
ngIcandoabouti
t

Ical
ledmylawy erI
tumel
engandaskedhi mt
o
draf
tthedi
vorcepapersthenIcal
ledNico
becauseIwantedustotalkaboutitt
oget
her

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Ipour
edmysel
fsomet
hingstrongaf
terwor
k
andwait
edf
ormydearwife.KemmyandIhad
athi
ngyduringl
unchatmyof f
icebutIfeel
li
keI
shoul
dn'tbedoi
ngt hi
stoher.Icheckedher
messagesandr espondedunti
lIheard
Tsakane'
svoice

Iquickl
yputawaymyphonebutwhenTsakane
walkedinwithKhensane,
Inear
lyr
anout
becauseIthoughtIsawaghost

Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Khensi
:
"Icanexpl
ain"
Me:
"youar
enotdead"
Tsaki
:
"she'
snotl
et'
ssi
tdown"
Khensi
:
"I'
l
lexplai
nev
ery
thi
ngaf
terTsakanehas
hadherchance"
Me:
"okay
"
I
tfel
tli
keadream asweall
satdownandt
he
hel
persbr
oughtsomethi
ngtosnack

Tsaki
:
"pl
easedon'
ti
nter
ruptme"
Me"
okay
"
Khensi
:
"I'
m cur
ious"
Me:
"goon"
Tsaki:"
I'
venoti
cedShandu'
sundyingl
ovefor
KhensaneandIdecidedtoacceptthi
ngsthe
wayt heyareandaskforadivor
ce"myjaw
droppedbutshestoppedmebef oreIcoul
d
speak" IknowwhatI
'mtalki
ngaboutandIthi
nk
i
t'
st i
meIsety oufr
ee"

Me:"l
ookTsakaneIdol ov
eyou.Youaret
he
bestthingthat
'severhappentomeandwe
promisednottor unfordi
vorceev
ery
time
somet hingi
snotr i
ght"
Tsaki
:"
thatwasbeforey
ourepeatedl
ysl
eptwit
h
mysisterwi
thoutusi
ngprot
ecti
onorworse,
makingherpregnant
"

Tear
sst
art
edwel
l
inguphercheeks

Khensi
:
"It
houghtwewer
eov
ert
his"
Tsaki
:
"wear
e.I
'
mjustcl
ear
ingaf
ewt
hings"
Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Tsaki
:
"Iwantadi
vor
ce"
Me"
:nothappeni
ng"
Her
:"
beeninthi
slovel
essmar
ri
agef
orf
art
oo
l
ongpleasej
ustaccepti
t"
Me:
"but.
..
"
Her
:"
ifyoudol
ovemeasmuchasy
oucl
aimt
o
t
henletmego"
Ifel
tli
keashar
pswordhasbeenthr
usti
ntomy
heart.
Thi
swassooverwhel
ming,
allofi
t

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Afterwet
oldNicoahalfcookedstoryhewent
outanddidn'
tcomebackfordinner.Tsakane
andIsatatthetabl
enei
therofustouchingour
food

Me:
"whydi
dyoupr
otectme?
"
Her
:"
bynott
ell
i
ngNi
cot
hatwebot
hki
l
ledhi
s
babi
es?
"
Me:
"uhm y
eah"
Her
:"
areyououtofyourmi
nd?doyout
hinkhe'
d
l
etusli
veifheknewwhatwe'
vedone?
"
Me:
"nobut.
..
"
Her:
"Iwasn'
tprot
ect
ingyouoranythi
ngandjust
sowear ecl
ear,mediv
orci
nghim doesn'
tmean
he'
saf r
eelancer
"
Me:"ev
enifhewasIwoul
dn'
tdr
eam ofgoi
ng
nearhim"
Her
:"
good"
Me:
"yeah"

Thisti
meImeanti t
,Idon'
twantany
thi
ngtodo
withNico.Iwenttobedandcrymysel
ftosl
eep.
Icoul
dhearTsakanedoingthesamethi
ngin
thenextroom,al
lbecauseofme
°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Igotserv edwiththepapersinthemor ni
ngand
Isignedf orthesecondti
me, j
ustthatthi
sti
me
i
tf el
treal.TheysayKhensanef akedherown
deathbecauseTsakanef oundoutthat
Khensanewaspr egnantwithmychi l
dbutIfeel
thatthere'smoretothisthantheyarelet
ti
ngon

Whathur
tsist
hatKhensanel
ostt
hebaby.Ri
ght
nowIwalkedi
ntot
heoffi
cewit
haheavyheart
.
ShootKemmy,sheappr
oachedmewi
thasmi
l
e
hol
dingmydi
ary

Her
:"
mor
ningmor
ning"
Me:
"hey
"
Her
:"y
oudon'thav
eanyear
lymeet
ingsbuty
ou
hav
eal unchmeeti
ngwi
tht
hesuppli
erand.
..
"

Thewaymyheadwashur ti
ng,Icoul
dn'
tev
en
hearher.Shest
oppedt
alki
ng

Me:
"t
hanks"
Her
:"
youdon'
tl
ookgood"
Me:
"I
'm notokayatal
l
"
Her
:"
youcant
alkt
omeI
'
m her
e"
Ibalancedmyselfbyleani
ngonmydeskand
shewasdeadcl osetome, herper
fumefil
li
ng
mynost ri
l
sbutIcouldn'tmakeami st
akeof
giv
ingherthewrongimpr essi
on

Me: "
Kemmyy ouareagreatper
sonandl
ast
nightwasamazingbutIthi
nkweshoul
dsti
ck
tobeingpr
ofessi
onal
s"

Shebli
nkedafewtimesi
ndisbel
iefthen
l
aughedwhil
eclappi
ngherhandsdramatical
l
y
so

Her
:"
noway
s"
Me:
"yeahIt
hinki
t'
sbest
"
Her:
"bestf
orwho?
yout
ookmeasal
ousyone
ni
ghtstand"
Me:
"nonono,
I..
."
BeforeIcoul
dfinishthesentence,If
ell
herf
oot
i
nbet weenmyl egs.Iyelpedi
npainasshe
cl
ickedhertongueandl eftmether
e

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t55

Kemi
set
so

Iwasprepar
ingarepor
tforMrMbathaandI
don'
tknowhowIam goingt osubmi
titaf
terI
ki
ckedhisball
sthi
smorning.

Idon'
tknowwhyIam av
iol
entper
sonbecause
Iwasn'
tl
ooki
ngf
orar
elat
ionshi
pwi
thhi
min
thef
ir
stpl
ace
Ifi
nishedt
her
epor
tandknockedonhi
sof
fi
ce
door

Hi
m:"
ent
er"

Ipushedt
hedoorandpeepedi
n.Her
aisedhi
s
eyesandIwentbackabi
t

Hi
m:"
it
'sokayy
oucancomei
n"
Me:
"ohuhm her
e'sy
ourr
epor
t"
Hi
m:"
thanks..
sit
"
Me:
"Iam r
eal
l
ysor
ryaboutwhatIdi
d"
Hi
m:"
Isai
dsi
t"
Iqui
ckl
ysatdownandpl
ayedwi
thmyf
inger
s

Me:
"er.
..
."
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tbl
amey
ouf
orwhaty
oudi
d"
Me:
"Ipr
omi
se.
..
."
Him:
"shhhh,
howev
eri
twasmyfaul
t.It
ri
ed
heal
i
ngmywoundedhear
twi
thy
ou"
Me:
"whathappened?
"
Hi
m:"
TsakaneandIaredi
vor
cedandKhensane
l
ostt
hebabywhichtur
nedoutt
obemybaby "
Me:
"Khensane?
"
Hi
m:"i
t'
sav
eryl
ongst
ory.
..
goonandj
udge
me"
Me:"
noofcour
seIcan'
tj
udgey
oumysi
sterhas
donewor
seandsodidI"
Hi
m:"
yeahsot
hat
'swhatwast
roubl
i
ngme"
Me:
"Isee"
Him:"l
ookKemmy ,
Idoli
keyou,alotbutIwant
ourrel
ati
onshi
ptobestr
ict
lyprof
essional
becauseIdon'
twanty
out ogethurt
"
Me:
"Iunder
standsi
r"

Hesmi ledsheepishl
yandt hedemoninme
foughttobereleased.Igotupandmadehi
m
standthengavehi m ati
ghtsqueeze

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

It
hinkIspoket
oosoonaboutf
orgi
veness
becauseIf
eelr
esentmenttowardsmytwi
n.I
don'
tevenwanttobeinthesamespaceasher
.
Shecametotheliv
ingroom wher
eIwasand
satdownafewspacesf r
om me

Her
:"
canwet
alk?
"
Me:
"sur
e"
Her:
"uhm ..
.soy
ouar
ereal
l
yleav
ingy
our
husband?
"
Me:"
thever
ysamehusbandwho'
shear
tiswi
th
youyeswe'
veal
readysi
gnedt
hepaper
s"
Her
:"
coul
dn'
tyoufi
ndthef
aul
tandmay
be
t
rai
ningt
ofi
xthi
ngs?"
Me:
"If
ixedt
hingsandsethi
mfr
eehawu"
Her
:"howcomethepaperscameso
qui
ckly?
wher
etheyonstandby?
"
Me:"
wel
litwasforcasesl
i
ket
hisbecauseI
l
ackedt
ot r
usthi
m"
Shemov edabitcl
oserandIf
eltmybl
ood
boi
li
ng.Ishi
ft
edabi t

Her
:"
I'
ll
leav
e"
Me:"goodbuti
tdoesn'
tchangethefactt
hat
ShanduandIaredone,i
t'
sforthebest"
Her
:"
it
'snoty
ouar
ehur
ti
ng"
Me:
"I
'l
lheal
event
ual
l
y"
Her:
"ever
ythi
ngisamessallbecauseofme.I
wishthatsui
cideatt
empthadbeensuccessf
ul
orevenyourpoison"

Idi
dn'tsayany
thi
ng,Idi
dn'
twanthert
osuff
er
butIwasenough.Di
stancewi
lldousgood.
CapeTownwi l
lworkforme
°
°
°
°

Ni
co

IdroppedKemmyof faft
erwet al
ked.Sheisa
verynicegi
rlandIcan'thelpbutwannabein
thesamespaceasheri t'
sjustt
hatIam goi
ng
thr
ought hemostrightnow

Iarr
ivedhome(somethi
ngIdr
eadeddoi
ng)and
foundthedi
nnertabl
esetandthet
winsi
tt
ing
sil
entl
y

Me:
"heyguy
s"
Tsaki
:
"Shandu"
Khensi
:
"hi
"
Me:
"Tsakanecanwet
alk?
"
Her
:"
tal
k"
Me:
"i
npr
ivat
e"

Shegotupcl
ear
lyi
rr
it
atedandwewentt
othe
l
ounge

Her
:"
Idon'
tappr
eci
atebei
ngor
der
edar
ound"
Me:
"whataboutt
hebaby
?"
Her
:"
co-
par
ent
ingwi
l
lwor
k"
Me:
"butIwantust
orai
sehi
m wel
l
"
Her
:"
wewi
l
landbestsosepar
ated"
Me:
"but.
..
"
Her
:"
it
'sbestf
ort
hechi
l
dtr
ustmeI
'
vet
hought
t
hist
hrough"
Me:
"i
fthi
swi
l
lmakey
ouhappy.
..
"
Her
:"
damnri
ghti
twil
lnowpl
easemov
eoutof
mywaySakhi
lei
shungry
"
Me:
"Sakhi
l
e?"
Her
:"
wowi
tsnotgoodenough?
"
Me:
"I
'l
lthoughtwe'
dnamehi
mtoget
her
"

Shewalkedawayandthetabl
ewasawkwar
d
andKhensaneexcusedher
sel
f

°
°
°
°
Khensane

Isati
nther
oom t
ryi
ngtodosomet hi
nki
ng
whenmyphonerang.I
twasShezi

Me:
"heyy
ou"
Hi
m:"
str
anger
"
Me:
"ssup?
"
Hi
m: "
hav
en'
thear
dfr
om t
hedi
ehar
dghosti
na
whi
le"
Me:
"i
t'
snotf
unnyokay
"
Hi
m:"
howar
eyou?
"
Me:
"wel
lTsakaneknowst
hatI
'
m notdead"
Hi
m:"
what
?when?
how?
"
Me:
"wel
lshecamehomeandf
oundme"
Hi
m:"
youst
il
lhav
en'
ttol
dmeev
ery
thi
ng"
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tfor
got
ten"
Hi
m:"
let
'sgooutf
oramov
ieni
ght
"
Me:
"I
'l
ltakear
aincheckbecause"
Hi
m:"
picky
ouupi
n15"
Me:
"l
oly
oudon'
tev
enknowwher
eI'
m at
"
Hi
m:"
lol
Ido"

Hehungupleav
ingmenochoi cebuttoputon
myJeansandkicks.Il
eftwi
thoutt
ell
i
nganyone

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so
Jaycoul
dsenset
hatIwasn'
tmyoldsel
f,Iwas
busypoki
ngmyfoodwhil
estar
ingi
ntospace

Hi
m:"
ear
tht
oKemmyKemmy
"
Me:
"ohheyJay
"
Hi
m:"
what
'supbabe?
"
Me:
"not
hingerIl
ostmyappet
it
e"
Hi
m:"
youhar
dlyt
ouchedy
ourmeal
"
Me:
"don'
twor
ryI
'
m good"

Iwentt
obedandafewminut
eslat
erhe
j
umpedinandmovedhi
shandsonmythigh

Hi
m:"
I'
vemi
ssedy
ou"
Me:
"I
'v
egotaheadache"
Hi
m:"
Icanbey
ourr
emedy
"

Hesai
dni
bbl
i
ngonmyneck.Ipushedhi
m away

Me:
"ar
ghnomanI
'
m noti
nthemood"
Him:"
I'
m sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeant
ofor
cey
ouor
anyt
hing"
Me:
"i
t'
snoty
ourf
aul
t,Ij
usthadar
oughday
"
Hi
m:"
mhhhm"

°
°
°
°

Ni
co
SoTsakaneandIaretakingsepar at
erooms
andshetomov etoourpent houseinCape
Towntomorrow.Ican'tbeli
evethatmy
marri
ageisoverj
ustli
ket hat.I
'
vedonesomany
wrongthi
ngstoher,noneshedeser ves

She'
sright,t
hismar
ri
ageisbett
eroffover.I
stal
kedKemmyonWhat sAppnotingthatshe
wasonline.Igav
eheravi
deocallandcoul d
seethatshewasint
hebathroom

Me:
"hey
"
Her
:"
videocal
l
sar
ebookedmi
ster
"
Me:
"l
olIwant
edt
ocat
chy
ouaty
ourugl
i
est
moment"
Her
:"
wel
lyouf
ail
ed"
Shet
ookouthert
ongueandpl
ayedwi
thi
t
maki
ngsi
ll
yfaces

Me:
"howchi
l
dish"
Her:
"ohpl
easei
t'
snotwhatyousayt
het
ime
youwerei
nbetweenmylegs"
Me:
"I
'm say
ingi
tnow"
Her
:"
what
ever
"
Me:
"wher
e'sboy
fri
end"
Her
:"
sleepi
ngwhy
?"
Me:
"want
edt
ost
eal
youf
orabi
t"
Her
:"
why
?"
Me:
"coul
duseraf
ri
end"
Her
:"
okayf
ri
endy
ouar
ewel
comet
ocome"
Me:
"I
'm ser
ious"
Her
:"
ohpl
easey
ouwoul
dn'
tbr
ingy
ourcowar
dly
assher
ewoul
dyou?
"

Tobecont
inued

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t56

Kemmy

Wechill
edinhiscarandheletmeonhis
marit
alprobl
emsandt hel
ot.Mostt
hingswer
e
shocki
ng

Me:
"SoNi
co,
youwer
ehav
ingbot
htwi
ns?
"
Hi
m:"
that
'snotani
cewayt
oputi
n"
Me:
"ar
en'
tyouashamed?
"
Him:"
Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy
ousl
eepi
ngwi
tht
he
boss"
Me:
"ohi
tfel
tsogood"
Hi
m:"
lol
youl
acksomet
hingupst
air
s"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
thanksf
orl
i
steni
ngt
omeandmy
pr
obl
ems"
Me:"
it
'snobi
ggi
ebutIhav
etogeti
nbef
oreJay
hasafit
"
Hi
m:"
yeahgogety
ourmor
ninggl
ory
"
Me:
"i
sthatj
eal
ousyIsense?
"
Hi
m:"
ofcour
senot
"
Me:
"okayt
henseey
oudur
ingl
uncht
ime"
Hi
m:"
uhm .
..
?"
Me:
"yousponsorandor
phanagesoyouneedt
o
bet
hereat8,ther
e'sat
hingygoi
ngon"
Hi
m:"
yoohokay
"
Me:
"I
'v
eemai
l
edy
oual
lthedet
ail
s"
Him:
"you'
ret
hebestt
hanksbutIneedy
out
o
comewi t
hme"
Me:
"why
?"
Hi
m:"y
ouaremyassi
stant,
youhavet
otake
pi
csandr
ecor
devery
thingI'
ll
bedoi
ng"
Hi
m:"
consi
deri
tdone"

°
°
°
°
Khensane

Themov i
edatewi t
hMusawasact ual
ly
amazing,wewatchedthelat
esrFri
daythe13t
h
whichwasv er
ycreepyaf
terthatwewentfor
qui
ckmi l
kshakethenhedroppedmeoff

Hegotoutoft
hecarandl
eanedoni
t

Me:
"t
hanksMusa,
Ihadagr
eatni
ght
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gl
ady
oudi
d"
Me:
"whyt
hough?
"
Hi
m:"
whywhat
?"
Me:
"whyhel
pmet
hent
akemeout
?"
Hi
m:"westartedoffi
nthewr
ongf
ootsoi
t'
smy
wayofapologisi
ng"
Me:
"t
hanksal
ot"
Igavehi
m afr
iendl
yki
ssont
hecheekand
tur
nedtogo

Hi
m:"
uhm t
her
e'ssomet
hingI
'
dli
ket
otel
l
"
Me:
"whati
sit
?"
Hi
m:"
eer
hgoodni
ght
"
Me:
"oh?
okaysamet
oyou"

Ibl
ewhi
m aki
ssandgoti
n

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Waki nguptothereali
tyofever
ythi
ngwasj usta
di
sast er
.Myst omachwashur t
ingabitbutI
brusheditoff
.Aftert
akingashower,Ihad
packedmyt hingsthenightbef
oresoIwasj ust
fi
nishingup

Ihear
dasof
tknockonmydoor

Me:
"i
t'
sopen"
Hi
m:"
hey
"

It
urnedt
ofindShandust
andi
ngi
nthemi
ddl
e
oft
heroom

Me:
"ohShandu"
Hi
m:"
pleasedon'
tgo"
Me:
"Ihav
eto"
Hi
m:"
CapeTowni
ssof
ar"
Me:
"Iknowbutdi
stancewi
l
ldousgood"
Hi
m:"
andt
hebaby
?"
Me:
"you'
l
lseehi
m whenev
er"
Hi
m:"Iwanttobewithy
ouev er
ystepofthe
pr
egnancy.Iwannabether
eont heduedat
e
wear
inghospit
alscr
ubsandstuff"
Me:"
youshoul
dhavethoughtaboutt
hatbef
ore
sl
eepi
ngwithmytwin"
Hi
m:"
Iam sorr
yaboutt
hat
.Ican'
tev
encome
wi
thanexcuse..
."
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
oheari
t"
Hi
m:"atl
eastwaitf
ormethent
il
lIcomeback
f
rom work.I
'
llbeear
ly"
Het
ri
edhol
dingmyar
m butIshaf
tedaway

Me:
"myf
li
ghtl
eav
esat2"
Hi
m:"
Khensane...ImeanTsakanepl
ease.
..
"
Me:
"sssr
ightt
her
e's.Goy
ou'
l
lbel
atef
orwor
k"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry.
.."
Me:
"l
eav
e"

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Bapaki
l
eempanna
Banal
eregt
etseempanna
Banal
edataempannaheehempannaheeh
empanna

Bagr
aduat
'
aempanna
Kedi
inch'
iempanna
Facebeatempannaheehempannaheehempa
nna

IwasdancingtoLi
fey
aborawhilewaiti
ngfor
Nicotocomepickmeup,Ir
eall
yam ghettoand
Amapianoisli
fef
orme.Il
ovedoingcrazy
thi
ngsnotthi
soffi
cel
i
febutI
jobIjobsowhat
canIsay

Nicoisatr
oubledguyandIhopehecanseethe
fr
iendinme.Idon'
twantanyt
hingmore
becauseIknowthatwedon'
tmi xbusi
nesswi
th
pl
easur
e

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Iwashavingsomer
edwinei
nthel
oungewhen
Tsakanecamedownst
air
sdr
aggi
ngherbags

Me:
"goi
ngsomewher
e?"
Her:
"yesandsoshoul
dyou.Leav
emyhouse
Khensane"
Me:
"al
ri
ghtIwaspl
anni
ngonl
eav
ingt
odayi
f
y
oumustknow"
Her
:"
good"
Me:
"l
etmehel
p"

Igotupandwentt
oher
,sher
oughl
ypushedme

Her
:"
I'
mfi
ne"
Me:
"Iwasj
ust.
..
"
Her
:"
Idon'
twanty
ourhel
p"
Me:
"f
ineI
'
lll
eav
eatl
easty
ou'
l
lcal
m down"
Her
:"
pleaset
uu"

Ir
anupst ai
rsandt
ookt
hefewclothesthat
wereintheguestr
oom,
lucki
l
yIdidn'tcome
wi
thluggage
Myphoner
angandIanswer
ed,
itwasShezi
Me:"
you'
vemadei
tahabi
ttocal
lmet
hese
day
s"
Hi
m:"
wel
lthi
siseat
ingmeup"
Me:
"what
?"
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
ttel
lyousomet
hing"
Me:
"dot
ell
please"
Hi
m:"
can'
tdoi
tont
hephone"
Me:
"I
'm goi
ngov
ert
omypl
ace"
Hi
m:"
meety
out
her
einanhour
"

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Wehadagr eatti
meattheorphanage,
itwas
l
ovelytoseetheki
dssmili
ngbecauseofwhatI
hadbroughtwit
hme.Ilear
ntthatt
hetwinshad
donatedcl
othesandIcamewithfoodandgif
ts

Kemisetsowasal
sofondoftheki
dsandI
caughtherbei
ngemoti
onalher
eandthere.We
tookalotofpi
csandvi
deosthenIupl
oaded
them onmyWhatsAppstat
us

Wesatonthewoodenbeacheswil
lthet
wo
womenwhomakesur et
hisoper
ati
ona
success

Zodwa:
"wet
houghty
ouhadf
orgot
tenaboutus"
Me:
"t
obehonestmaIwasgoi
ngt
hrought
he
mostt
hanIabandonedt
hishome"
Li
l
ly:
"butyouareherenowandl
et'
shopey
ou
won'
tforgetaboutusagai
n"
Me:"ofcoursema,myassi
stantwi
l
lmakesur
e
I
'm hereeveryf
ort
night
"
Kemmy
:"y
esIwi
l
ljotev
ery
thi
ngi
nhi
sdi
ary
"
Li
ll
y:"
theyeari
smovi
ngf ast
,sowhatdoy
ou
haveplannedf
orChr
ist
mas? "
Kemmy
:"whi
chi
sint
woday
s"
Me:
"eer
h"
Kemmy :
"wecanbr
ingt
heki
ndspoolsand
j
umpingcastl
est
hencookf
orthem sev
en
col
ours"
Zodwa:
"t
hatshoul
dbeenough"
Me:
"yesi
tis"
Li
l
ly:
"t
hanky
ouMbat
ha"
Me:
"pl
easur
ema"
Weshookhandsandwentt osaybyetothe
kids.Iwasdyingtokil
lKemmybecauseIdon'
t
hav eabudgetforpool
sandsuch.Wegotin
thecar

Me:"
aft
erever
ythi
ngIboughtt
odayy
oust
il
l
wantpool
sandstuff
"
Her:
"i
t'
snotmyf
aul
tyouf
orgotaboutt
he
or
phanage"
Me:
"If
orgotthatt
here'
sChri
stmas,nowonder
t
her
eareaf ewhelpersatmyhouse"
Her
:"
youseet
hat
'sony
ou"
Me:
"youar
egoi
ngt
opayf
ort
haty
ouknow"
Her:
"hai
boIt
houghtt
hingswer
e'st
ri
ctl
y
pr
ofessi
onal
'
"
Il
aughedatt
hedramat
icgi
rl
.Atl
eastmymi
nd
gotof
fmyprobl
emsforabit

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Wesatdownandhepl
ayedwi
thhi
mfi
nger
s

Hi
m:"
Idi
dsomet
hingt
err
ibl
e"
Me:
"I
'm dy
ingofcur
iosi
ty"
Hi
m:"
pleasepr
omi
set
onotgetangr
y"
Me:
"f
orheav
en'
ssakeShez
ispeak"
Him:"
wellIwasn'
tact
ual
l
yhonestwi
thy
ou.
..
aboutthebaby"
Me:
"whataboutt
hebaby
?"
Him: "
thepoisondidn'
tkil
lthedevelopi
ng
foetus,youbledbecausemostpr egnantwomen
bleedint hei
rfir
stt
ri
mester, notbecauseyou
wer eloosingthebaby"

Itt
ookaf
ewsecondsf
ormet
oregi
sterwhathe
sai
dinmyhead

Me:
"huh"
Him:"
whatI'
m say
ingi
sthatt
hebleedi
ngwas
normal.Mostwomenbl
eedbutyoudidn'
tl
oose
thebaby"
Me:
"what
!"
Hi
m:"y
ouarest
il
lpr
egnant
,lookIknow
ev
ery
thingi
samessbutpl
easeletmeexpl
ain
t
hebl
eedi
ng"
Me:"
that
'snotnecessar
y.Pl
easel
eav
eand
cl
osethedoorbehindyou"
Hi
m:"
Iunder
stand"

Hegotupandl eftwhil
eittookawhi l
eformet o
under
standwhathej ustsaid.Mymot herused
tocal
lmedi ehardsi
nceIwasl i
tt
lebecauseI
havesurvi
vedthemostbutnowi t'
stoomuch

Afail
edsuici
deat t
emptcouldhav eatleastleft
mepar al
ysedbuthereIam wal ki
ngli
kenot hing
happened,myt wi
npoisonedmebutIam st il
l
al
iveandbetteryetsti
l
lpregnantwhil
eshel ost
hersbythesamepoi sonhaiit
'sawonder

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t57

Ni
co

Itr
iedjoggi
ngbutmybodyr efusestodo
anythi
ngbecauseIhavetofacer eal
i
tythatal
li
s
l
ost,TsakaneandIareover,
Khensanel ostmy
babyandhasn'tspokentomeev ersince,t
he
houseisemptyandI '
m atmywor st

Idi
aledKemmybecauseshe'
stheonl
yper
son
whoseemstocar
er i
ghtnow

Her
:"
Nicohi
"
Me:
"cany
oucomeov
er?
"
Her
:"
nopeIcan'
t,
Ihav
etoor
gani
set
omor
row'
s
t
hingyf
astandmakesur
eev
ery
thi
ngisinor
der
f
orwhenyoucomebacktot
heoff
ice"
Me:
"okl
ateron?
"
Her
:"
I'
ll
seewhatIcando"
Me:
"pl
easeI
'
mfeel
i
ngl
onel
y"
Her
:"
ohandIshoul
dent
ert
ainy
ou?
"
Me:
"yeah"
Her
:"
may
beI
'
llmaket
ime"
Me:
"shap"

Iwasgoingtogomadbecauseoft hi
s.Ihat
eit
whenli
fegoessouthsoIwenttotakeoutmy
fr
ust
rat
ionsatthegym downst
air
s

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Ili
veinfear,
everyt
hingIdoiswrongornever
enoughinfrontofMxoli
si.Idoknowhowhe
cantakecareofourbabywi thsomuchlov
ebut
tur
nintoamonst erwhenitcomestome

Heinsi
stst
hathelov
esmeandsaysI'
l
lleav
e
hi
mi nabodybag.It
hinkhei
scr
azy

Hi
m:"
whatar
ewedoi
ngt
hisChr
ist
mas?
"
Me:"Iwast
hinki
ngofv
isi
ti
ngmymot
herandl
et
herseeRemo"
Hi
m:"
ohr
eal
l
y?"
Me:
"yeahi
sther
eapr
obl
em?
"
Hi
m:"
notatal
lwhywoul
dyout
hinkt
hat
?"
Me:
"i
t'
snot
hing.Thanks"

Hesmiledoutoft
hecor
nerofhi
sey
eand
chuckl
ed

Him:
"i
twouldbef
ort
hebesti
fyoudon'
trun
awayagai
n"
Me:
"ofcour
seIwon'
t.Iknowbest
"
Hi
m:"Ilov
eyouBonangandify
out
hinkof
br
eakingupwit
hmet heny
oumusthavemad"
Me:
"andi
fmyl
ovef
ory
ouhasr
unout
?"
Hi
m:"t
henwe'
ll
usemi
neit'
senough.Nowdon'
t
makemechangemymind"

°
°
°
°

Khensane

I
'v
ebeeni gnori
ngcall
sf r
om MusabecauseI
wantedtothinkaboutwhathesaid.TruewhenI
l
earntthatIwaspregnantIwantedtogetri
dof
i
tbutbecauseInearlylosti
t,Ir
eal
isedhow
muchIwant edthebaby

Itookashowerandwenttothedoctor
'sfora
fi
rstt
imeANCcheckup.Idon'tknowwhyIam
soexcit
edbutIknowthatIwon'
ttel
lanyone

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

CapeTowni sverybeauti
fulandr efr
eshing,my
Chri
stmaswi l
lbev er
ypeaceful.Isatont he
hot
elbedasIwai tedforthecallthatthehouse
wasready.Theywer ebusycleaningitbecause
wehav en'
tcomeinal ongtime

Mybabyboyki
ckedandIsmil
ed.Thisisa
bl
i
ssfulmoment
.Isai
dalit
tl
eprayerbutwas
di
stur
bedbymyphoneri
nging

Me:
"I
tu"
I
tu:
"maMbat
ha"
Me:
"whatdoy
ouhav
eforme?
"
I
tu:
"yourcour
tdat
eisabi
tfarconsi
der
ing
Chr
istmasandall
"
Me:
"t
hat
'sgoodf
orme,
I'
m noti
nahur
ry"
I
tu:
"howar
eyouhol
dingup?
"
Me:"
ohdon'
twor
ryaboutme,
mybabyi
smy
pr
ior
it
y"
I
tu:
"okayI
'
llcal
lyouwhenIhav
esomet
hingf
or
y
ou"
Me:
"t
hanksI
tuby
e"
I
tu:
"by
e"

Idi
dn'twanttoworr
ytoomuchaboutt he
di
vorceandfocusonmybaby ,thi
sis
somethingposi
ti
vethatI
'
llhol
dont o
°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

I
'vebeenarrangingtomorrow'
sminipar
tyfor
thechi
ldrenattheorphanageandtobehonest
Nicowill
haveaf itbecausei
twil
lhur
this
pocket

Jaywalkedi
nall
moodylikehe'sbeent
hese
days.Hesatonthebednexttome

Hi
m:"
let
'st
alk"
Me:
"I
'm busy
"
Hi
m:"
what
'swi
thy
ou?
"
Mr
:"
not
hing"
Hi
m:"
Kemi
set
sol
ooki
ngatme"
Me:
"whatdoy
ouwant
?"
Hi
m:"
Kemi
set
sowhathav
eIdonet
oyou?
"
Me:
"not
hing"
Hi
m:"
doy
oust
il
ll
oveme?
"
Me:
"yoohnowIwon'
tbei
nter
rogat
ed"

It
ri
edget
ti
ngupbuthest
oppedme

Hi
m:"
ist
her
esomebodyel
se?
"
Me:
"whatdoy
out
akemef
orhuhasl
ut?
"
Hi
m:"
nonev
er"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
rememberIl
eftmyl
i
fej
ustt
obewi
th
y
ou?
"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
thenwhat
'swr
ong?
"
Me:"
not
hing.LookJI
'
llmakei
tupt
oyouwhenI
comeback"
Hi
m:"
promi
se?
"

Inoddedandgavehim aki
ss,
tobehonestI
'
m
notsureIl
oveJayanymore

°
°
°
°
Khensane
I
t'str
uet hatIam r
eall
ypregnant
.Thevisi
tto
thedoctorjustmademydayandnowIwas
readyforabiglunch.Ipassedbydebonai
rsto
getmy selfarewar
d

WhenIgothomeIf oundShezi tomydi smay.I

foldedmyar msanddidn'topenf orhi
m.He
didn'tseem t
ocar
eandj ustleanedonhi scar

Hi
m:"
whatar
ethechancesoft
hisbabybei
ng
mi
ne?"
Me:
"zer
o"
Hi
m:"
why
?"
Me:
"becauseweusedpr
otect
iondummy
"
Hi
m:"
wow"
Me:
"i
fyouar
ebor
edpl
easest
ayawayf
rom me"
Hi
m:"
let
'sdot
het
est
"
Me:
"noway
s"
Hi
m:"
whyar
eyousodef
ensi
ve?
"
Me:
"heywenaI
'
m notTsakane"
Hi
m:"
pleasej
ustconsi
deri
t"
Me:"
noI
'
m notconsi
der
ingany
thi
ngnowi
fyou
don'
tmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Hegoti nhi
scar,t
henerveofthi
nkingi
tcoul
d
behis.Idon'
tunder
standSheziandIdoubtI
everwil
l

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

ThewayIwassobor ed,Iwasevenreadi
ngup
i
nthel
ounge.Kemisetsowalkedin.Shest
ood
att
hemiddl
eoftheroom.Hol di
ngherhips

Me:
"Idi
dn'
theary
ouknock"
Her
:"
Idi
dn'
t"
Me:
"youar
eear
ly"
Her
:"
Iknow"
Me:
"okaywhat
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Her
:"
Iwanty
ouNi
co"
Me:
"huh?
"

Shej
umpedont
opofmel
i
keawi
l
dcatand
pl
ant
erki
ssesonmyf
ace

Me:
"whoaIt
hought.
..
"
Her
:"
Iwantt
his"
Me:
"noi
t'
s..
."
Her
:"
nost
ri
ngsat
tached"

Guessedwhat
?Icar
ri
edherupst
air
sbecauseI
am amanwhoneededadistr
acti
onandshe
of
feredher
sel
fsoIcoul
dn'tr
esi
st

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t58
Kemi
set
so

WhenIopenedmyey eshewasstar
ingatt
he
cei
l
ing.Iputmylegontopofhi
m andhepull
ed
mecloserwit
houtl
ooki
ngatme

Me:
"mer
ryChr
ist
mas"
Hi
m:"
isi
tal
readyy
et?
"
Me:
"yesandwebet
tergetr
eadyf
ort
hebi
gday
"
Hi
m:"
yeaht
hechi
l
drenwi
l
lbesohappy
"
Me:
"t
heywi
l
l"

Icheckedmyphoneandfoundadozenmi
ssed
cal
lsfrom J,
mymotherandBonang

Hi
m:"
I'
m goi
ngt
oshower
"
Me:
"okay
"

Hegotupt oshowerandIcal
l
edmymot her
whopickedupalmostimmediat
elyasi
fshe
wasexpecti
ngthiscal
l

Her
:"
kemi
set
soweneedt
otal
k"
Me:"
soundsser
iousespeci
all
ywi
thno
gr
eeti
ngs"
Her
:"
comet
othecot
tagei
mmedi
atel
y"
Me:"
Ican'
t,
wear
edoi
ngsomet
hingf
ort
he
or
phans...
"
Her:
"youandwho?
suddenl
yyousponsor
or
phanageswena?"

Thi
ssoundedseri
ousandIcoul
dsenset
hat
shewasveryangr
y
Me:
"uhm ...okayI
'
m onmyway
"

ShehungupandIbecameconf
usedast
owhy
shecoul
dbebehavi
ngthi
sway

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Me:"
ji
ngl
ebellsj
ingl
ebellsji
ngl
eal
ltheway
,
l
alal
alal
alal
alal
alal
alal
ala"
Iam insuchgoodspirit
sandIam pl anningto
eat,sl
eepandrepeat.Iwentt othefr
idgeand
madeaf rui
tsal
ad, mixi
nggr apes,pi
neapples,
str
awberri
esandy oghurt.Thenmademy stery
somepancakeswi thloadsofhoneyandmi lk

Iswi
tchedoffmyphoneandt
urnedupthe
vol
umet osomegoodRnB.Whatali
fe

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Thi
swasmyf
ir
stl
onel
yChr
ist
mas,
bef
oreI
'
d
spenditwi
thmyfamil
ythenasIgr
ewIlear
ntto
spenditwi
thmysoontobeexhusband,eveni
f
hewasn'tt
hatmuchofahusbandbutIwas
neverl
onel
y

Il
ookedatmyphonet
hendialedmyhome
numberwit
hsomehesi
tat
ion.Myfat
herpi
cked
up

Hi
m:"
Mal
ulekahel
l
o"
Me:
"papa"
Hi
m:"
Tsakanemydaught
er"
Me:
"mer
ryChr
ist
maspapa"
Hi
m:"Iwoul
dsayt
hesamebuty
ousoundal
i
ttl
e
bl
ue"
Me:
"I
'm okaypapa"
Hi
m:"
whydoy
oucal
lmepapa?
"
Me:
"eer
hbecausey
our
aisedme"
Hi
m:"andbecauseI'
my ourpar
entsot
ell
me
what
'sbother
ingyou"

Truehecouldf
eelwhenev
erIwasn'tokay
.I
couldn'
thol
dmysel
f,t
hetear
sjustcameout

Me:
"Imov
edoutpapa"
Him:"
yourmothert
oldmeaboutt
hedi
vor
ceand
yourf
ight
ingwit
hKhensane"
Me:
"f
ight
ing?
"
Hi
m: "
shesaidKhensanediscountsomet
hing
t
err
iblet
oy oumakingherfakeherowndeath
j
usttoescapeyourwrath"
Me:"ofcour
seyourwif
ewouldsayt
hatbecause
khensaneisherf
avour
ite"
Hi
m:"
noshedi
dn'
t..
."
Me:
"ar
ghj
ustsav
eit
"

Ihungupangr i
l
yandwentt othespatohavea
facial.Ever
ythi
ngisaboutkhensaneandIget
frustr
atedbecauseofthi
skhensanesaga.I
hateher

°
°
°
°

Bonang

If
oundSof
ia'
splacewi
thoutdi
ff
icul
tyandi t
br
okemyheartt
hatsheli
vesinacottage.She
di
dn'
tl
ookhappytoseeme
Shesatmedownandgav emeaser i
ouslect
ure
thatmademewannadosomet hi
ngself
i
ntrospect
ion.Shet
oldmemanythi
ngsandI
heardher

ThenIhel
pedherprepar
eaChrist
masl
unch
whil
ewewaitedforKemiset
so

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Ir
ecei
vedacal
lfr
om VanWy
ktel
l
ingmehow
miserablemylifei
s.Hemockedandl aughedat
mesay ingthatIhaven'
tseenanyt
hing.You'
d
swearthathehadsomet hi
ngtodowi t
hallof
thebadev ents

Heev enknewt hatmybusinesswassuff

eri
ng.I
decidedtocall
Tsakaneandshei gnor
edmy
cal
lsbutitwasexpected.IspentmyChri
stmas
attheorphanage

Wat chi
ngthosef acesastheyopenedt heir
presentsandplay i
nginthepool broughtmea
bitt
ersweetf
eelingbecauseIr eali
sedt hatI
reall
ywantedtohav emytwoki dsr unning
aroundmymansi onwi t
htheirmom' sbymy
sidebutnoneoft hatisgoingtohappen
becauseofmygr eedyself

Icannev
erf
orgi
vemy
sel
ffort
reat
ingTsakane
l
ikeIdidandf orl
ovi
ngandlusti
ngKhensane
everysecond.Thenther
e'sKemisetso,
Godt hat
chil
disgetti
ngonmyner vesbecauseIswearI '
l
l
endupf al
li
ngi nl
ovewit
hherwhi chisthel
ast
thi
ngIneed

JustasIwast
hinki
ngofhershehi
tmeon
WhatsApp

[
Conv
ersat
ion]

Her
:"
howzi
tgoi
ng?
"
Me:"we'
vej
ustbegunandt
heki
dsl
ookso
happy"
Her
:"
dosendmeav
id"
Me:
"Iwi
l
l..
.how'
syourmom?
"
Her
:"
I'
m appr
oachi
ngherpl
acej
ustnowI
'
m st
il
l
i
nthet
axi
"
Me:
"okaygoodl
uckwi
thev
ery
thi
ng"
Her
:"
samet
her
ethanks"

Iwantourrel
ati
onshi
ptobeprof
essional
butI
fi
ndmy sel
fcari
ngaboutherwel
l
being

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Ihadt
ogot othehouseandchange(
Jaywasn'
t
home)thengotothecot
tagesi
tetoseemy
mom.Ni
codidn'
tseem bother
edthatIwasn'
t
goi
ngwi
thhi
mt otheorphanage

WhenIgott
omymot her
's,
Bonangwast her
e
andsowasbabyRemowhol ookedbiggerand
cut
tert
hanever
.Ir
antoherandpickedherup

Me:
"OMGRemo"
Mama:
"yout
ookl
ongert
hanexpect
ed"
Me:
"Ihadt
ogohomeandchange"
Her
:"
hadt
ogohome?
from wher
e?"
Me:
"eer
h..
."
Her
:"
Bonangpl
easeexcuseus"

BonangtookRemoandwentoutsi
dewhil
e
motherunl
eashedt
hetoughpar
entinher
Her
:"
arey
ousl
eepi
ngwi
thShandu?
"

If
eltl
ikeawavehadrushedovermessageandI
st
ruggledt
ocatchmydrif
tbreat
h.Thequest
ion
br
oughtsucharushi
nmybody

Me:
"who'
sthat
?"
Her
:"
Nicol
asMbat
ha"
Me:
"whywoul
dyout
hinkt
hat
?"
Her
:"
onequest
ion,
oneanswer
"

Shecameclosetomeandsquir
medhereyes
l
ookingdi
rect
lyatmi
neandIswall
owedt
he
bi
tt
erpil
l

Me:
"no"
Her
:"
okaygood.St
ayawayf
rom t
hatman"
Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Shefl
ashedasmileandcal
ledBonangsowe
coul
deat,Ihadev
enlostmyappeti
tebuthadt
o
for
cethefooddownmyt hr
oat

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Whi l
eIwasenjoyi
ngmy selfatthespa,
a
womanwal kedin.Shelookedli
keav er
yhot
slayqueengrandma.Shegr eat
estever
yonei
n
theroom byshaki
ngtheirhands
Iwaslastandsheheldmyhand, suddenl
yher
eyesbecamewhi t
eallowsoverandherpupi
ls
di
sappeared.Inearl
yscreamedbutshe
becamenor malagai
n

Shesatdownnextt
omeandbyt hel
ookof
thi
ngs,
noonesawanyt
hingbutme

Her
:"
TsakaneMal
uleka-
Mbat
ha"
Me:
"howdoy
ouknow?
"
Her:
"If
elty
ourpai
nthr
ought
hepal
m ofy
our
hand"
Me:
"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Her
:"
thepai
ncausedbyy
ourt
win"
Me:
"okaynowy
ouar
ecr
eepi
ngmeout
"
Her
:"
kennaNeoandIhav
eagi
ft
"
Me:
"sor
ryIdon'
tbel
i
evei
nsuch"
Her:
"youdon'thav
etobutbel
iev
emewhenI
saythatonceherchi
l
disborn,you'
l
lnev
er
tast
ehappiness"
Me:
"whatchi
l
d?"
Her
:"t
heoneyourt
wini
scarr
ying.LookIdon'
t
hav
emucht i
mebutthi
sismycar d"
Me:
"but
.."

Shegotupandhandedmehercar
d

Her
:"
Icanendy
ourt
roubl
es"

Shewal
kedawaywi
thoutgi
vi
ngmeachancet
o
askf
urt
heri
nfor
mat
ion

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Pl
ayingwit
hKidsall
dayisfunbutexhausti
ng.
Bytheti
meIleftt
heplaceall
Iwantedtodo
wasdie.MybodyachedbutIhadthisurgeto
goseeKhensanesoIdrovetoherplace

Supr
isi
ngl
ysheletmei nwi
thoutbei
ngher
st
ubbornsel
f.Theki
tchenwasamessandi t
l
ooksli
keshespentthewholedayeati
ng

Shedidn'
tsayany
thi
ngtome,justl
ookedatme
asifsheknewsomethi
ngIdi
dn't
Her
:"
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dleav
e"
Me:
"why
?"
Her
:"
well
clear
lyy
ou'vegotnot
hingt
osayordo
doher
eandIreal
lydon'
thaveti
mefort
his"
Me:
"Icamet
ocheckupony
ou"
Her:
"why?
wearenolongerconnect
edourbaby
di
edbeforei
tcoul
ddevel
opso. .
."
Me:
"i
t'
snoti
t"
Her
:"
huh?
"
Me:
"t
hel
easty
oucandoi
stosayhe/
she"
Her
:"
whysoIcoul
dnur
sey
ourst
upi
dfeel
i
ngs?
"
Me:
"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Her
:"
askKemi
set
so,
she'
syournewbest
y"
Me:
"oohi
sthatj
eal
ousyr
ightt
her
e?"
Her
:"
ohpl
ease"
Il
aughedatherbecauseshewascl
earl
y
j
ealous.Hernosewaschangi
ngcol
ourandshe
wassweat i
ng

Me:"kemmyi
sjustmyassi
stantandf
art
oo
youngandi
mmat ur
etobewith"
Her
:"
gaah'
Kemmy
'"
Me:
"nowIr
eal
l
ydon'
tknow"
Her
:"
outofmyhouse"
Me:
"t
hisi
smyhousekhensane"
Her
:"
ohwow"
Me:
"sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeani
tli
ket
hat
"
Her:
"i
t'
sokayI'
l
lfi
ndmy sel
faplacebutIwant
youtoknowthatIwantnothi
ngtodowithyou"
Me:
"asy
ouwi
sh"
Khensanei
sstubbornandIwon'tfor
cehert o
tal
ktomeorsomet hing.Act
uall
ybei
ngwi thher
mademer eal
i
set hatIdon'
twanther.Idon'
t
knowwhyIfeell
ikeIshouldkeepmydi st
ance

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t59

Khensane

Someonewasatt hegatev er
year
lyi
nthe
morni
ng.Igotupanddr aggedmysel
fthere.I
t
wasavanandaf riendl
ylooki
ngguysmiledat
measIapproached
Hi
m:"
del
i
ver
yforMi
ssCancer
"
Me:
"f
rom who?
"
Hi
m:"
ther
e'sacar
dmam"
Me:
"okay
"

Iopenedt
hegateandlethi
min,
heof
fl
oaded
grocer
ybagsf
rom PnP

Me:
"gi
vemet
hecar
d"

It
ookthecar
dandofcour
set
heywer
efr
om
Ni
co.Thecar
dreadout

'
Khensi,Idon'
thavewhythere'
sabadv ibe
betweenthetwoofusbutIpr omisetostayin
myLanef rom now.Pl
easeacceptthese
grocer
iesasmywayofapol ogisi
ngforsaying
t
hatt
hat
'smyhouse.Donotmov
eout.
..Ni
co'

Theguyaskedmet
osi
gnandIdi
d

Me:
"t
hanks"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Whatchildcoul
dKhensanepossibl
ybecarry
ing
becauseIam sosurethatshehada
miscarr
iage.NoI'
m notgoingtoent
ert
ain
rubbi
shfr
om aconfusedgrandmalooki
ngsl
ay
queen.Probabl
ydi
ditforatt
enti
on

Itri
edignori
ngherwordsbuttheykeptr i
nging
i
nmyhead.Ther earetwoway stothi
s...one,
thatladyi
sachancerandpr obabl
yknowst hatI
haveat winandtwo,shecouldbet el
l
ingthe
trut
hbuthow? Khensaneissofullofl
iesand
she'sasnakebutIcan'tmakesenseofanyof
these

Iopenedt
hebi
bleandgott
hesewor
ds
"Godrewar
dst
hosewhoener
stl
yseekhim"Ido
beli
evei
nGodandIknowhewil
lrev
ealt
hetrut
h.
Ihavesomuchfai
th

Il
ookedhar
datt
hecardshegavemewhi ch
di
dn'
tevenl
ookl
egi
t.NeoNdlov
u,Iwonderwho
shei
s

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Jaywasn'tgiv
ingmet hesil
enttreat
mentandI
won'tl
ie,
shithurt
s.Ijoi
nedhim ashewatched
soccerbutheswitchedofft
heTVandgotup

Me: "
thi
sisr
idi
culous"
(si
l
ence)"wereal
l
yneedto
sitdownandtalk"(
moresil
ence)"
okayI'
l
ldot
he
talki
ng"
Hegav emeablankexpr
essionandst
ayed
stat
ionar
y.It
ookadeepbreathandst
oodupt
o
facehim

Me:"
okaythenI
'
llgetst
rai
ghtt
othepoi
nt,
Jay
i
t'
sover"
Hi
m:"
what
?"
Me:
"ohsoy
oucanspeak"
Hi
m:"
youar
ebr
eaki
ngupwi
thme?
"
Me:
"Iam andt
her
e'snoneedt
odi
scusst
his
f
urt
her"
Hi
m:"
okayt
hen"
Me:
"yeahsoI
'
llt
akemyt
hingsandl
eav
e"

Hedidn'
tfi
ghtorar
gueoranyt
hinghej
ustwent
outandl
eftmetopackmyt hi
ngs
°
°
°
°

Bonang

Mymot her'
swor dsplayedi nmyhead, Ihadt o
dotheri
ghtthingev enthoughi twil
laffect
Remobuti t
'sbestforher .Icouldn'
tconcentrat
e
ontheTVorhearwhatMxol i
siwassay ingas
hewasbusypl ayingwi t
hRemo.Iwon' tlieheis
agoodf at
herbuthe' l
lhav etoforgi
veme

Theknockont hedoormademet rembleashe

walkedslowlytowardst
hedoorandwor dswere
exchanged.ThewayIwassoscared,Icouldn'
t
hearwhattheywer esay
ing
Nextt
hingIhear
dRemocr
yingandMxol
i
si
shout
ing
Hi
m:"y
ouslut!
youar
egoingtopayfort
his.You
ar
egoingtobever
ysorr
y.Thi
nkthisi
sasmar t
move?wel
lI'
l
lcomebackforyou"

Iwi
pedawaymyt ears,gotupandwentt otake
Remofr
om thepoli
ce.Icouldn'
tmisstheanger
i
nhisf
aceandhisv ei
nswer epopping.Hespat
onmyfaceandtheytookhim away

Ifi
nal
l
yhadthecouragetohavehi
m arr
est
ed
eveni
fhehasconnecti
onsbutthi
sti
mehe'l
lgo
down

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Iwaspl
ayi
ngv
ideogamesathomeanddr
inki
ng
whenKemmycall
ed

Me:
"yesnana"
Her
:"
cany
oucomet
opi
ckmeup?
"

Shesoundedl
i
keshehasbeencr
ying

Me:
"wher
ear
eyou?
"
Her
:"
Jay
s"
Me:
"okayI
'
m comi
ng"
[
Anhourl
ater
]

Ihadhertuggedaft
ershet
ookabath.Iwentt
o
theguestroom wi
thabowlofi
cecr
eam

Me:
"her
e"
Her
:"
thanks"

Isatontheedgeandwat
chedheri
ndul
gingi
nto
thecream

Me:
"whathappened?
"
Her
:"
webr
okeup"
Me:
"why
?"
Her
:"
Ijustcoul
dn'
tpr
etendany
mor
e"
Me:
"I
'm abi
tlost
"
Her:
"I
'm well
awarethatJayisst
il
lgay
,hi
s
boyfr
iendssti
ll
cont
acthim andhe'
sbusy
promisingmeheavenonear t
h"
Me:
"wowI
'
mlostf
orwor
ds"
Her
:"
it
'sOKI
'
llsur
viv
e"
Me:
"youshoul
d.Any
waygoodni
ght
"

Igotupandki
ssedherf
orehead

Her
:"
thoughty
ou'
djoi
nme"
Me:
"nonono,
yougetsomer
estandI
'
llsl
eepi
n
mybedr
oom"
Her
:"
oh"
:"
yeahni
ght
y"

Sheputdownthebowlandcov
eredherhead.I
swi
tchedofft
heli
ght
°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Mydaywasbor i
ng,fi
ll
edwi t
hthi
nkingand
thi
nki
ngandfeeli
ngthekickswhichwere
becomingst
rongerbytheday

Ideci
dedtocal
lNeoImeanitwon'
thurtany
one.
Itr
angforawhi
lebutsheev
entual
l
ypickedup

Her
:"
NeoNdl
ovuhel
l
o"
Me:
"hi
Neot
hisi
sTsakane"
Her
:"
TsakaneMal
uleka-
Mbat
ha?
"
Me:
"uhm .
..y
es"
Her
:"
ohokayhowcanIhel
pyou?
"
Me:"
Iwantt
ounder
standt
het
hingsy
out
oldme
att
hespa"
Her
:"ohthat
,let
'smeetf
orbr
eakf
astt
omor
row
morning"
Me:
"t
hatwoul
dbeni
ce"
Her
:"
great
,I'
l
lsendyout
hel
ocat
ionf
ir
stt
hing
t
omorrowmor ni
ng"
Me:
"okayt
hanks"
Her
:"
no,
thanky
ou"

°
°
°
°

Neo

Iwasonav i
deocal
lwi
thmyhusbandandwe
weredi
scussi
ngourmi
ssi
on

Ndl
ovu:
"wasi
tnecessar
ytof
oll
owhert
oCape
Town?"
Me:
"ver
y"
Hi
m:"
anypr
ogr
ess?
"
Me:
"yeboGat
sheni
shemadecont
act
"
Hi
m:"
good"
Me:
"she'
l
lleadust
ohert
win"
Hi
m:"
andwewi
l
lhav
eaf
iel
dday
"
Me:
"youknowwhatImean"

Webot hl
aughedthenIputmyphonedownand
l
ookedatmy sel
finthemirr
or.Iam NeoMoeti
marri
edtoSphiweNdlovu,Iam av er
ybad
per
sonanduseot herpeopl
e'sbloodtosur
viv
e
andri
ghtnowmyt argeti
sKhensaneMal ul
eka

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Let
'sgi
veNeoandGat
sheni
awar
m wel
come

OurnewcharacterNeoMoet i-
Ndlovui
snot
someoneYallbepleasedwith.Hercharact
eri
s
i
nspir
edbysomeoneIwentt oschoolwithand
tobehonest
,Istil
lgetgoosebumpsev eryt
imeI
thi
nkandherandwhathappenedbackt hen.
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
I
nser
t60

Tsakane

Shecamest r
aightont i
meandweor dereda
si
mpl ebreakfast
.Thewai tersgaveusour
order
sandweat ebef oregetti
ngint
obusiness.
Shetalkedaboutr andom stuffandwait
eduntil
wewer edoneeat ingbeforeputti
ngonher
seri
ousf ace

Her
:"
wecanbegi
n"

Me:
"t
hanksf
oragr
eei
ngt
omeetmeNeo"
Her
:"
it
'st
hel
eastIcoul
ddo"
Me:
"soy
ouar
easangoma?
"
Her
:"
no"
Me:
"f
ort
unet
ell
er?
"
Her:
"l
olno,Ij
usthappenedtoreadpeopl
e
emoti
onall
ybyshakingthei
rhandsonor
huggi
ngthem"
Me:
"ohokay
"

Iunder
stoodnot
hing

Her
:"
soy
ourt
win.
..
"
Me:
"Khensane?
canwenott
alkabouther
?"
Her
:"
wehav
eto"
Me:
"okay
"

Shewentontotell
thatKhensanei
spregnant
andt
hatshewillmarr
yShandumakingmeand
mybabymiserabl
eintheend.Shesai
dal otof
t
hingst
hatdi
dn'
tmakesense.
..

Her
:"
..
.butIcanhel
pyouwi
thev
ery
thi
ng"
Me:
"how?
"
Her
:"
wecanhar
vestt
hepoweri
nher
"
Me:
"har
vest
?power
?"
Her
:"
yes.Al
lyouhav
etodoi
stogetr
idofher
"
Me:
"youmeanki
l
lher
?"
Her
:"
notnecessar
il
y"

Ist
art
edf
eel
i
nguneasy

Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkIl
i
ket
hesoundoft
hat
"
Her:
"i
fcourseyouwouldn'
tatfi
rstbutthi
nk
abouti
t.Shehasmadey ourli
femiserabl
e,y
ou
aresuf
feri
ngbecauseofher.She'
sthecauseof
y
ourpai
nandi
fyouar
enotcar
eful
,
you'
l
lloose
y
ourbaby"
Me:
"what
?how?
"

Shegotupandleftmei
nt herest
aurant
.Idon'
t
underst
andathi
ngshesaidbutI'
m pret
tysure
thatIwon'
tbeabl
etoki
llKhensane

°
°
°
°

Khensane

If
eltsonauseousarghi
twasirri
tat
ing,
Iwasa
bi
tbrokeandthankstoNicoIhaveenoughf
ood
tolastforaf ewdays.Theywoul
dlastanor
mal
peoplefortwomont hsbutIeatt
oomuchso
they'
llprobablyl
astforday
s

Idranklotsofwat ertogetr i
dofthatfeelingbut
i
tdidn'tgoaway .Afteraf ewminutesIt ooka
bathandl ookedatmy selfi
nthemirror.I
screamed, myf eetwer ef at
,Iwasget t
ingf at
onlytherewasnobumpy etandmyf acewas
round.Icriedthinkingofmybeaut i
fulmodel
bodyandi twasst il
learlydays

It
hrewmyselfonthebedandwailedoutl
oud.
Godhowam Igoingtohandl
ebeingasingl
e
br
okepar
ent.Ithi
nkIshoul
djustt
ellhi
m

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Me:
"mor
ningsunshi
ne"

Ienter
edt hebedr oom wit
hat rayandopened
thecurt
ains.Ihadt ooktheli
bertyofmaking
Kemmybr eakfastinbed.Justsimplebacon
andeggswi thFr enchtoastandapplejui
ce.She
rubbedherey esandsatupst r
aight

Her
:"
wowt
hanks"
Me:
"i
t'
sthel
eastIcandof
oral
way
sbei
ngat
mysi
de"
Her
:"
butIhav
en'
tdoneany
thi
ng"
Me:
"youhav
ebaeb"

Shesmil
edandIj oi
nedherbecausetherewas
enoughfoodforbot
hofus.Afterl
icki
ngourli
ps.
Shegotupandmadet hebedbecauset her
e
werenohelpers

Me:
"showerqui
ckl
ysowecango"
Her
:"
wher
eto?
"
Me:
"home"
Her
:"
home?
"
Me:
"yesI
'
mtaki
ngy
out
oyourmot
her
's"
Her
:"
Ithoughty
ou'
dletmest
ay"
Me:
"wel
lyout
houghtwr
ong"
Her
:"
wow"
Me:"
seeKemmyIhateitwhenpeopl
etake
adv
antageofmyki
ndnessandabusi
veit"
Her
:"
Isee"
Me:
"nowgetmov
ing"
Her
:"
okayokay
"

Idon'tknowwhyshet
hinksshecanj
ustdoas
shepleasesi
nmyhouse.Wemaybef ri
ends
butthiswastoomuch

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iendedmycal
lwi
thJaf
tert
alki
ngwi
thhi
mfor
al
mosttwohours,hewasveryemotional
and
myearhur
t.ImadeRemosomet hi
ngtoeatand
whil
eIwasbusy,someoneknocked

Iwenttothedoortofi
ndKemisetsowithbags
andNicobyherside.I
'
veneverseenhimthis
cl
osebeforeandboyhewasappet i
sing.I
drool
edoverhimforasecunti
lhespoke

Hi
m:"
hi"
Me:
"ohhey
"
Him:"
sorr
ytodistur
byousoear
lyinthe
morningbutIj
ustcametodr
opy oursi
sterof
f
andmakesur eshe'
ssaf
eandsound"
Me:
"t
hanksy
ouar
eagent
leman.
..comei
n"
Him:
"t
hanksbutnot
hanksIhav
etodashof
f
somewhere"
Me:
"okaynopr
obl
em"
Hi
m:"eerhsor
ryfornoti
ntr
oduci
ngmy
sel
f,Iam
Ni
cholasMbatha"
Me:
"Bonang,
nicet
omeety
ou"
Hi
m:"
li
kewi
se"

Ibl
i
nkedaf ewt i
mesandKemmypushedher
wayin.Shelookedl
i
keshewasabi
tblue

Nichol
asl
eftandIcl
osedt
hedoorandf
ound
Kemmyplayingwit
hRemo

Me:
"what
'sup?
"
Her
:"
not
hing"
Me:
"Icanseey
ouar
enotokay
"
Her
:"
wowf
ort
unet
ell
er"
:
Me"
I'
mtr
yingher
e"
Her
:"
wel
ldon'
t.Idon'
twantt
obebot
her
ed"

Sherantoherroom andIhear
dhersobbi
ng,
well
that'
safi
rst,ImeanKemnyhardl
ycri
es
unl
essit
'sver
yser i
ous.It
ri
edtal
ki
ngtoherbut
sheshutmeout

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Sit
ti
ngal
onethinki
ngaboutwhatNeosaid,I
wasutt
erl
ybemused,shementionedKhensane
havi
ngpowerthenshewalkedoutonmeand
l
eftmehangi
ngagai
n.Idon'
tknowwhatt
odo
orthi
nk

Khensaneisathreattomeandmybaby. ..
okay,ImaybeaChr ist
ianbutIdon'tthi
nkI'
llbe
abl
etowat chKhensaner uiningmyli
feagain
andagainandwal kscotfree.Icall
edNeoand
wemetagai nandhadaser iousconver
sat
ion
thi
sti
me

°
°
°
°

Kemmy
Il
ayinbedlosti
nt hought, Ican'
tunderstand
whyNicowon'tseet hatIjustwant edtohelp.
MaybehethinksI'm aft
erhi smoneyor
somethi
ngandj ustcan'tseet hatall
Iwant ed
wastobehisfri
end, someonehecant r
ust

Ireal
l
ydon'tknowwhyIf eel
theneedtobehis
fr
iendbutIwon'tpushhi
m anyfurt
her.Bonang
openedthedoortomyr oom andIpret
endedto
beasleep

Her
:"
Iknowy
ouar
enotsl
eepi
ngKemmy
"
Me:
"whatdoy
ouwant
?"

Iopenedmyey esabitandshest
oodnextt
o
thebedandlookedatmewi t
hsomuchconcer
n
.Shelaynexttome
Her:
"Idon'
tknowi
fitwasl
ateadol
escent
sor
whatbutyoumovedoutofher
emissy"
Me:
"so?
"
Her
:"
soIhav
etoknowwhathappened"
Me:
"Ibr
okeupwi
thJay
"
Her
:"
why
?"
Me:
"Icoul
dn'
tl
ovehi
mthewayhedeser
ves"
Her
:"
ohr
eal
l
y?"
Me:
"yeahlookhe'
sagr eatguybutnotf
orme.
Hedeserv
esbetterandthat'
snotme"
Her:
"yousur
ethi
shasnot
hingt
odowi
tha
cer
tai
nbossperhaps?
"
Me:
"ofcour
senot
"
Her
:"
Isee"

Shegavemethe'
Idon'
tbel
i
evey
ou'
lookandI
i
gnoredher
Me:
"ev
eni
fitwer
e,i
t'
snoneofy
ourbusi
ness"
Her:
"j
ustbecar
eful
.Thatmancanneverlov
e
yousisandIwoul
dhatetoseeyouhurt
"
Me:
"ohwowt
her
api
st"

Shegotupandr
aisedherhands

Her
:"
I'
mjustsay
ing"

Fuckwhatevershe'
ssayi
ng,Idon'
tcar
e.I
t'
snot
l
ikeIhav
ef eel
ingsf
ortheguyordoI?

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Iwon'tl
ie,
Ireal
lymissKhensaneandIdon't
knowwhyIhav ethi
surgetocallher.Ihesi
tat
ed
forasecondthencall
edher.Shepickedupon
thethi
rdri
ng

Her
:"
heyy
ou"
Me:
"hi
howar
eyou?
"
Her
:"
notokay
"
Me:
"what
'swr
ong?
"
Her
:"
ever
ythi
ng"
Me:
"t
alkt
ome"
Her
:"
can'
tdoi
tov
ert
hephone"
Me:
"shoul
dIcome?
"
Her
:"
onl
yify
oudon'
tmi
nd"
Me:
"Idon'
t..
.I'
m onmyway
"
Her
:"
okay
"

Itookaqui ckshowerthendrovet
oherplace.I
f
there'sonepersonwhocansay" j
ump"andI'l
l
say" howhigh?",it
'sdef
ini
tel
yKhensane

°
°
°
°

Neo
IwasexcitedthatIgotTsakanej
ustl
i
kethat,
she'
ssoeasy .Ididn'
tevensaymanythi
ngsin
thesecondmeet i
ng.Ijustl
i
edmywayt hrough
herheart

Itookoutmyphoneandmadeavideocal
l
againwit
hmyhusbandgi
vi
nghim some
feedback

Hi
m:"
whatdoy
ouhav
eforme?
"
Me:
"t
hef
isht
ookt
hebai
t"
Hi
m:"
youl
i
e!"
Me:"
tr
ustmelovethist
imeIbrai
nwashedher
wit
hallsor
tsofevi
landIam v
erycer
tai
nthat
shehat
eshertwin"
Him:"
good,y
ouwi
l
lgetabi
grewar
dwhaty
ou
getback"
Me:
"Ihadt
oli
eandsayt
hatKhensanei
sa
t
hreatt
oherandherbaby
"
Hi
m:"
youshoul
duset
hebabymor
eof
ten"
Me:
"yest
hat
'sherweakspot
"
Hi
m:"
youdidn'
ttel
lherthathert
winhast
he
ki
ndofpowerwe'dlov
et opossess"
Me:
"Idi
dment
iont
hatshehaspowerbut.
..
"
Hi
m:"
fool
!"
Me:"
li
sten,
Tsakanei
sver
ydumbandwi
l
lnev
er
cat
chon"
Hi
m:"
Ihopeso.Ex
pect
ingy
ouwi
thi
n3day
s"
Me:
"okayGat
sheni
Iheary
ou"
Hi
m:"
good"

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Myhormonesar etoy i
ngwithmeandIwant ed
Nicomorethanany thi
ng.Iam decei
vi
ngmy
ownboundariesbyletti
nghiminagain.He
text
edmesay ingthathe'satt
hegateandI
wenttoopenf orhi
m

I
mmedi atelywhenhegoti nsi
dethehouse,I
thr
ewmy selfathi
m.Ihadswi t
chedoffthe
l
ightsbecauseIdi dn'twanthi
mt oseethefati
n
me.Het ri
edst oppingmebutIwhi sper
edto
himthatIwant edhi m

It
ouchedal
lhi
ssensi
ti
vespotandi
nseconds
wewerenakedi
nthel
ounge,It
ookhiminmy
mout handhegr oaneddamn,Ihaven'
theard
him groaninages.Aft
ergiv
inghim adeep
thr
oat ,Isatont
opofhim androdeslowly
carefulnottohurtmysel
f

Outofthebl
ue,It
urnedwildandrodehimli
ke
mad.Iheardhim speaki
ngsomeI t
ali
anwords
andhegrabbedmyt winsandsqueezedsohar
d
andthenhethr
ewhi sheadback

Idi
dn'
tgetof
fhim, hekissedmyforeheadand
pl
acedmeonhi ssidewi t
houtt
aki
ngi tout
,t
hen
movedslowl
y.Icouldfeelhi
sheart
beat

Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
tthi
nkI
'
dfeel
yourwar
mthagai
n"
Me:
"nei
therdi
dI"
Hi
m:"
buther
eIam deepi
nsi
dey
ouagai
n"
Me:
"ohhol
ditr
ightt
her
e..
.yesss"
Hehi
taspott
her
eandmyt
oescur
led

Hi
m:"
Imi
ssedy
ou"
Me:
"Imi
ssedy
oumor
e"
Hi
m:"
real
l
y?"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
real
l
yli
keser
iousl
y?"
Me:
"yesdaddy
"

Hemov edfast
,fil
l
ingeveryspacei
nsideme
unti
lIf
eltt
earsrunningdownmycheeksand
mywallscontr
acting.Webothcum atthesame
ti
me

Me:
"j
ustl
i
keol
dti
mes"
Him:"
yeah,nooff
encebutt
odayyouwer eso
yummy ,Imeany
oualwaysarebuti
tjusthi
t
dif
fer
ent"

Hi
spresencestart
edtoannoyme.Whati
fhe
f
eel
sthatIam pregnant
?

Me:
"i
t'
sbeenawhi
l
ethat
'swhy
.Youshoul
dgo"
Hi
m:"
butI.
..
."
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tcal
lyout
obeal
ll
oveydov
eywi
th
mesopleasego"
Him:"
nextt
imemakey our
selfcl
earcozwho
knows?Imightj
ustsendyoutheDonly"
Me:
"what
ever
"

Hetookhiscl
othesandl
eft
.Idon'
tevenl
ikethe
dudebuthethi
nkswecanhaveapill
owtalkas
i
fit
'snor
mal

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Sorr
yabouty
est
erday
,wasj
ustt
ooemot
ional
l
y
drai
ned

I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t61

Khensane

Idon'
tknowwhyIdi
dwhatIdi
dlastni
ghtbutI
di
ditanyway
.Iwokeupt
oadozenmi ssedcal
l
s
from NicoandShezi,Idon'
tknowwhotol
d
them thatI
'mtheirf
ri
end.Myphonerangj
ustas
Iwasaboutt otakeashower

Me:
"what
everi
tis,
I'
m noti
nthemood"
Voi
ce:
"someonecl
ear
lywokeupatt
hewr
ong
si
deofthebed"

Icheckedt
hescr
eenand'
Jane'
waswr
it
ten

Me:
"ohheyJane"
Her:
"youpr
obabl
yangr
yatmefornotbei
ngi
n
cont
actwit
hyouforawhi
le"
Me:
"awhi
l
e?noi
twasf
orev
er"
Her:
"l
olI
'm sor
rybutI
'
m sur
ey ou'
dbehappyt
o
knowthatIam st
andi
ngatthegate"
Me:
"youl
i
e"
Irantowar
dsthewi ndowandsureexactl
ya
goldKiapi
cantowaspar kedatt
hegate.I
rushedtoopenforherthenhadaquickshower

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Ican'
tseem t
ounder standKhensane.Imean
oneminuteshe'sblazi
nghotandnextt hi
ng
she'
sstonecold.Iam tir
edofhergames

Iwasi
ntheshowerwhenmyl
awy
ercal
l
edt
o
gi
vemet hecourtdate.Ireal
l
ydi
dn'
tthi
nkt
hat
Tsakanewouldreal
lyleav
emebuthereweare
goi
ngt ocour
ttomorrow

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Iki
ckedof ftheblanket
sandgotupbut
i
mmedi at
elyfel
lback.Iwasn'
tfeel
ingwell
,If
elt
abitdizzyandtherewasaf unnyfeel
ingonmy
thr
oat.Igotinbedagai n

Icl
osedmyey
esf
oraf
ewmi
nut
est
hent
ri
edt
o
openthem,
myheadwastooheavyformy
l
iki
ngandmyeyeshur
t.Bonangknockedt
hen
goti
n

Her
:"
what
'
swr
ong?
"
Me:
"It
hinkI
'
m hav
ingaf
ever
"

Shef
eltmyf
oreheadandt
ookmyt
emper
atur
e

Her:
"yeahy
ouar
edef
ini
tel
ysi
ck.Letmegoget
yousomemedsatt
hepharmacy"
Me:
"t
hankssi
s"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Iwasonmywaybacktotheci
tywi
thNeo
dri
vi
ngmebecauseoft
hecour
tthi
ngy

Her
:"
youl
ookt
ense"
Me:
"I
'm notonagoodspace"
Her
:"
why
?"
Me:
"myhusbandandIar
esepar
ated"
Her
:"
awhowl
onghav
eyoubeenmar
ri
ed?
"
Me:
"wewer
egoi
ngt
oour11t
hyear
"

Isai
dthatr
ememberi
ngt
hatanot
hery
earwas
supposedt
obeadded
Her
:"
whathappened?
"
Me:
"Khensane"
Her
:"
shet
ookhi
mfr
om y
ou?
"
Me:
"yeahy
ouknowt
hat
"
Her:
"andt
hechi
l
disat
hreatt
oyouIknow"
Me:
"yeah"
Her:
"t
hist
hingi
seasy,
yougetri
dofherandI
pr
omi set
hatnoonewil
lknow"
Me:"
look,mytwi
nhurtmeandallandIwanther
topaybutIdon'
tunder
standwhyyouar
eso
det
erminedtohel
pme"
Her:
"Ihadav
isi
ont
hedaybef
oreIt
ouchedy
our
hand"
Me:
"vi
sion?
"
Her:
"yesIwashel
pingawomanmat
chi
ng
exact
lywit
hyou"
Me:
"Isee"
Her
:"
yeahsol
etmehel
pyou"
Me:
"what
'st
hepl
an?
"

Shedi
dn'
ttakehereyesofft
her
oadbutIsaw
howshechangedherface

Her:
"I
'v
echangedmymi ndandthi
nkweshoul
d
j
ustnothav
eapl anatal
l.Youj
ustl
eadmeto
her
"
Me:
"what
'si
nitf
ory
ou?
"
Her
:"
not
hingIswear
"

ThismaysoundstupidbutIwaswil
li
ngto
sacri
fi
ceKhensanejustt
ohavepeace.Sur
ely
theLordwi
llunder
stand
°
°
°
°
Khensane

JaneandIwer
ehav
ingl
unchatSpur
scat
chi
ng
up

Her
:"
slowdownont
hechi
psbabe"
Me:
"t
heyar
esogoodespeci
all
yther
ibs"

It
alkedwi
thmymout
hful
landshel
ookedat
mewi t
hdi
sgust

Her
:"
Iwantt
ogi
vey
ousomemommyt
ipscoz
cl
ear
lyy
ou'
l
lbeabadpar
ent
"
Me:
"ohpl
ease"
Her
:"
sotoni
ghtyouar
ecomi
ngwi
thme,
Ihav
e
asur
pri
seforyou"
Me:
"ohgoodi
e"

Icl
appedmyhandschil
dishl
ysoandshe
l
ookedir
ri
tat
ed,
Imissedher

Her
:"
youeatal
otnowondery
ouar
efat
"
Me:"
I'
m goi
ngt
oal
l
owmy
sel
fnott
otal
k
of
fence"
Her
:"
sur
eyouar
e"
Me:"
I'
m wor
ri
edaboutt
hedr
eam Ihadl
ast
ni
ght"
Her
:"
tel
l
"
Me:
"wel
l
,Iwasi
nsomesor
tofacav
eandt
her
e
wer
ethr
eepeopl
ether
e"
Her
:"
didy
ouseewhot
heywer
e?"
Me:"
nobutwhatbot her
smei sthatIdi
ed.The
manwasholdingmyhear tinhi
shandandt he
ot
herladywaslaughingl
ikeawitch"
Her
:"
soundsscar
y.Wher
ewast
hebaby
?"
Me:
"dead"
Her:
"yooh"
:"
andwhatworri
esmeisthat
,Ihada
ni
ghtmareofTsakanet
ryi
ngtoki
llmeandit
happenedalmostt
heexactsameway"
Her
:"
Tsakanet
ri
edt
oki
l
lyou?
"

Shecov
eredhermout
hwi
thherhands

Me:"l
ongst
orybuti
thappenedandwhati
fthi
s
happenst
oo?"
Her
:"
Ithi
nky
ouneedt
oseeasangoma"
Me:
"t
ell
mey
ouar
ejoki
ng"
Her
:"
I'
m not
"
Me:
"wher
ewoul
dIf
indone?
"
Her:
"youclear
lyhav
enoi
ntensi
onofsav
ing
yourl
ife"
Me:
"hai
may
bei
t'
snot
hing"

Shel
ookedatmewi t
hablankexpr
essi
on,
hel
lI
ai
n'
tvi
sit
ingnosangoma

°
°
°
°

Ni
co
Imetwi thmyl awyerandheprepar
edmef or
tomorrow.Iwaswi ll
ingtogi
veTsakane
every
thingshedeser ves.Wewil
lbespl
it
ti
ng
every
thinginhalfandbecausewedon'thave
kidsyetitshouldbeeasy

Iwenthomeanddr ankuntilIcouldn'
tgetup.
ThepainIfel
tri
ghtinmyhear tandIlostagood
womanov ersomethingstupid,l
ustoverher
twi
n.Itr
iedcal
li
ngbot hKemmyandKhensi but
bot
htheirphoneswer eof
f

Icanal
readyf
eel
thedepr
essionki
cki
ngi
n.
SoonI'
l
lbeadeadmanwalking

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Kemiset
sohasbeeni
nbedt hewhol
edayandI
don'
tknowwhattodobecauseIhav
eorder
s,
Remoandheragaint
otakecareof

Ipl
annedtocooksupperafterIf
ini
shwit
ha
pai
nti
nghopingthatshe'
ll
atleasteat
.Iwas
j
ustwrappi
ngupmywor kwhenIheardaknock

IgotupandtherewasJholdi
ngfl
owersanda
doggybag.Helookedgay
ishaseverandhad
evendoneamani cur
e
Me:
"f
ri
end"
:"
hichomi
"

WehuggedandImov
edasi
det
olethi
min.He
satdown

Me:
"whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e?"
Him:
"youmenti
onedt
hatKemiset
sowassi
ck
soIt
houghtI'
dbri
ngherbackali
tt
le
somethi
ng"
Me:
"t
hat
'ssoki
ndofy
ouev
enaf
ter.
..
"
Hi
m:"
aft
ershedumpedmesayi
t"
Me:
"yeaht
hat
"
Him:"
Ist
il
lcar
eaboutherandwoul
dli
ket
osee
her"
Me:"
Idon'
tthi
nki
t'
sagoodi
deaJbutt
hanks
any
way"
Hi
m:"
okayenj
oy"
Me:
"you.
..
"
Hi
m:"
noi
tsokaynoneedt
ofeel
sor
ryf
orme"

Hewalkedoutwit
hsomuchpaininhiseyes,
Kemmyi safool
toletsuchamango.Evenif
he'
snotmanmanbutst il
l

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t62

Kemi
set
so

Igotupandwenttothebathr
oom slowl
y,Iwas
ver
yweak.Isatonthetoi
l
etseatandtri
edto
peebutqui
ckl
ygotup.Iwasburningdown
t
here,
myey esgottearyandItr
iedfor
cingpee.
WhenIgotup,Icouldseebit
sofblood

Iwassoscar ed,
whati
fit
'sSTDorsomet hi
ng
becauseIhavebeenit
chingdownthere.I
quickl
yfl
ushedandmademywayt othebedto
resear
ch.Bonanggoti
nwi t
houtknocking

Her
:"
ewewhat
'st
hatsmel
l
?"
Me:
"di
dIsaycomei
n?"
Her
:"
nomanopent
hecur
tai
nsandwi
ndows"
Me:
"t
here'
snothi
ngwr
ongwi
tht
hewaymy
r
oom smell
s"
Her
:"
I'
m get
ti
ngwor
ri
ed"
Me:
"don'
tbe"
Her
:"
Kemi
set
so.
..
"
Me:
"getoutofmyr
oom"
Her
:"
yourmeds.
..
"
Me:
"out
!"

Ist
art
edcr
ying,
Ni coi
nfect
edmeori sitJay
?I'
m
si
ckandembarrassedtogetchecked

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Wearri
vedearl
yatt
win'
shousebutshewasn't
t
hereandIcoul
dn'
tcal
lhert
oaskwhereshe
was.It
urnedt
oNeowhowaswai ti
nginthecar
Me:
"It
hinkourj
our
neyendsher
e"
Her:
"wel
lthat
'sapi
tybecauseIwaswi
l
li
ngt
o
hel
p"
Me:
"noi
tsokay
.Thanksf
ordr
ivi
ngmeher
e"
Her
:"
youhav
emynumber
.Cal
lmeany
time"
Me:
"her
e'st
hemoney
"

Isai
dgi
vi
ngherat
housandf
ordr
ivi
ngmeher
e

Her
:"
nopr
obl
em sowher
ear
eyougoi
ngt
o
r
est
?"
Me:
"don'
twor
ryaboutme"
Her
:"
ohokay
"
Me:
"by
e"
ShedroveoffandIwat chedthecartil
li
t
di
sappeared.There'
ssomet hingwrongwit
hthi
s
NeoandIf eell
i
keI '
m gett
ingmy sel
fint
o
tr
oubl
ebyassoci ati
ngmy selfwit
hher

Isatont
hegr
assandcal
l
edNi
cot
ocomepi
ck
meup

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Janepar
kedt
hecari
nsomef
ancyl
ooki
ng
pl
ace
Her
:"
her
ewear
e"
Me:
"whati
sthi
spl
ace?
"
Her
:"
Phol
alodge"
Me:
"whyar
eweher
e?"
Her
:"
well
takei
tassomesor
tofsomet
hing
f
rom me"
Me:
"somet
hingl
i
ke?
"
Her:
"f
ri
endswoul
dusual
l
ydoababyshower
r
ight
?"
Me:
"uh-
huh"
Her:
"wel
l
,inst
eadofdoi
ngt
hatf
ory
ou,
I
br
oughtyouhere"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tpack"
Her:"
there'
sashopwhereyou'
l
lgetafew
dressesbutyou'
l
lbeweari
nga
gown/ t
owel/swi
m sui
tmostofthet
ime"
Me:
"why
?"

ShelookedatmeasifI'
m cr
azy
,butIhadev
ery
ri
ghttoknowever
ythi
ng

Her
:"
ther
eisaspaandapool
"
Me:
"ohhIal
readyl
i
ket
hesoundoft
hat
"
Me:
"okayl
et'
sgoi
n"

Wewalkedinsideandshetal
kedtosomeone
whol
ookedl i
kethemanagerthenIwastaken
i
ntot
heroomswher eIf
oundwomenofal lages,
most
lypregnant

Theper
sonwhowast
alki
ngt
oJanei
ntr
oduced
her
sel
f
Her
:"hel
lol
adies,mynamei sTi naandI'
m not
managerofthisplace.Iam notgoingtosay
any
thingaboutwhat '
sgoingonher ebutIcan
j
ustsaywelcomet oWomen' sconfer
ence"

Ever
yonest
artedl
aughi
ngexcepther
.We
noti
cedt
hatshewasseri
ous

Her
:"
Ihopey
ouenj
oyy
ourst
ayher
e"

SheleftandJanecamet osaygoodby
e.We
star
tedintr
oduci
ngourselv
estoeachotherand
Ihadaf eel
ingt
hatthi
swasgoingtobeal ovel
y
stay

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

[
31December
]

TsakaneandIwerebackfrom t
hedoct
or'
s
appoint
mentandIwon'tl
ie,wat
chi
ngyourbaby
growbiggerandbet
teri
sthegreat
estf
eel
ing
worl
dwide

Thepastt wodayswerespenti
ncourtbutit
wasn'treal
lyabat
tl
e.Bot
hourlawyer
sdida
grandjobandTsakaneandIwalkedoutthere
veryhappy
Wesatdownatt
hepar
ti
oenj
oyi
ngt
hebr
eeze

Me:
"I
'm sogl
adwehandl
edt
hedi
vor
cesowel
l
"
Her
:"
yeahy
oumadei
tver
yeasy
"
Me:"
Idon'
tthi
nky
oushoul
dgobackt
othe
Cape"
Her
:"
nahIhav
eto"
Me:
"butyourli
fei
shereandyoucan'
tdoal
lthi
s
t
rav
ell
ingwiththebabyduesoon"
Her
:"
Iguessy
ou'
rer
ight
"
Me:
"I
'm soexci
tedaboutusbei
ngpar
ent
s"
Her
:"
yeahmustbegr
eat
"

Shesuddenl
ylookeddownandbl
ue

Me:
"what
'swr
ong?
"
Her
:"
not
hingl
etmegoandr
est
"
Me:
"okay
"

I
t'
ssadthatwear ereal
lyoverbutIam j
ustgl
ad
t
hatTsakaneandIwi l
lnowbeco- par
enti
ngwell
wi
thoutgrudgesorbit
terness

°
°
°
°

Khensane

Janetookmet osomelodgecal
l
edPholal
odge
wit
houteventel
li
ngme.I'
vebeenher
eforday
s
andreal
lyenj
oyedmyself
Itwasami niwomenempower mentfuncti
on
wherebypeopl etaughtyoungmomshowt o
handlepar enti
ng.Wewoul dbegivendollsto
carefor.Wef eedthedolls,
baththem andplay
withthem.Thedol lscryespeci
all
yatnight
whichpr eparesusfortheworst

Intheeveningswearetaughtonbui
ldingup
sel
fconf i
denceandal
lbuil
dingupal
lthe
posit
ivi
tyaroundus
I
'
veneverbeensoinspi
redinmyl i
fe,
therewere
l
i
fecoaches,moti
vati
onalspeakerandthelot

Tonighti
sthelastni
ghtandwewer egat
hered
atthehal
landtherewasalotofcommotion
whenBonangMat hebewalkedi
nandgavea
worldcl
assspeech.Iev
engottotakeaself
ie
Thencamet hecount
downandweal l
screamed
asthef i
reworksl
ituptheskymaki
ngbeauti
ful
patter
ns.Itookoutmyphoneandcalledmy
parents,Janeandmyt win

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Ifi
nishedpraying,
stoodatt hebalconyand
watchedfir
ecrackersdoingt hei
rmagicinthe
sky,Ihopethisnewy earbringsallt
hepeace
andt r
anqui
lli
tyIyearnfor.Ihaveforgi
ven
every
onewhoisdonemewr
ongandIhopet
he
Lordfor
giv
esmetoo

Ialmostdidn'
thearmyphonebecauseofthe
noiseofthefi
recr
acker
s,i
twasKhensane.I
tookadeepbr eat
handanswered

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her:
"I
'm probabl
ythel
astpersonyouwantt
o
hearf
rom butIhopewecanf indawaytoput
ourdi
fferencesasi
deandstartaf
resh"
Me:
"wowst
rai
ghtt
othechase"
Her
:"
Ireal
l
ydon'
tl
iket
hewaywel
eftt
hings"
Me:
"howcanIsaynot
osuchwor
ds"
Her:
"I
'm seri
ousTsakane,Iknowourt
win
r
elat
ionshipwon'
tbet hesamebutIam t
ir
edof
t
hisbickeri
ng"
Me:"
soam Iandtobehonest
,Iappr
eci
atey
our
cal
lKhensane"
Her
:"
tr
uce?
"
Me:
"t
ruce"
Her
:"
thankssi
s"
Me:
"i
t'
snot
hing"

Ican'tent
eranewy earbear
ingangerand
resentment.Iam decidi
ngtoburr
ythepast

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t63

Kemi
set
so
Mydi schar
gehaschanged,i
twasabit
brownishandhadav er
ybadsmell
.Iignored
myphoneasi tr
angwhil
eIwasdancingonthe
toi
letseatbecauseoft
heburni
ngpee.I
fi
nishedupdateandspl
ashedmyfacewi t
hcold
water

B:
"Kemi
set
sowhat
'
swr
ong?
"
Me:
"whydoy
oual
way
sseekuponme?
"
Her:
"becauseIcareKemmyandIknowwhen
somethingiswrong"
Me:
"noy
oudon'
tcozt
her
e'snot
hingwr
ongwi
th
me"
Her
:"
ther
eis,
ther
esi
gnsar
ether
e"
Me:
"ohsi
gnnumberone?
"
Her
:"
deni
al"
Ilookedawayasav
erybi
glumpsum upi
nmy
throat

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

I
'v
ebeent ryi
ngtogetaholdofKemi set
sobut
i
t'
slikeshedoesn'
twanttot al
ktome.Shehas
t
ocomet oworkbytomorrowatleastbecause
we'v
er est
edenough.I'
m sickandti
redofher
t
antrums
°
°
°
°

Khensane

Ihadanotherdr
eam aboutmedyi
ngbutI
quickl
ybr
usheditof
fwhenJanecametopick
meup.Igotinthecarandsmil
ed

Her
:"
somebodyi
sinagoodmood"
Me:
"Iam t
hankst
oyou"
Her
:"
youneededt
hatIknow"
Me:
"Ican'
tthi
nkofmor
eway
stot
hanky
ou"
Her
:"
wel
lyoucannamet
hechi
l
dJaneev
eni
f
i
t'
saboy
"
Me:
"noway
syouar
ecr
azy
"

Welaughedaswedr
ovet
omypl
ace,
Itol
dher
aboutmydream

Her:
"di
dyouatl
eastconsi
dermyof
fert
ogo
seensomeone?
"
Me:
"t
hesangomat
hingy
?"
Her:
"yesorwecoul
dgot
oachur
chor
something"
Me:
"l
et'
sgot
her
enow"
Her
:"wecan'
tdoi
tnowbutf
ir
stt
hingi
nthe
morning"
Me:
"okaybuty
ougett
okeepi
ngmecompany
f
ort
onight"
Her
:"
deal
"
Me:
"good"

°
°
°
°

Neo

Iwalkedini
nsi
dethecav
eandtheKingwasn't
happytoseeme.Ithr
ewhimtheliv
echickenI
hadwi t
hmeandhechangedhisfacetobeast
mode

Hi
m:"what
'ssodi
ff
icul
taboutpul
l
ingasi
ngl
e
j
ob?"
Me:
"It
ri
ed.Ir
eal
l
ydi
d"
Hi
m:"
ist
hatso?
"
Me:
"yes,
thegi
rlwasn'
tther
ebutI
'
llgetherby
t
oni
ght"
Her
:"
youbet
ter
"
Me:
"yessi
r"

theKi
nglooksexact
lyl
ikethedevi
l,
I'
venever
seenhiswholebodybutIcouldt
ellt
hatheisa
combinati
onofagoat,scorpi
onandwhatever
else

Okay,
Iam partoftheil
lumi
natyandKhensane
i
smyt ri
umphcar dtobeinahigherl
evelwhi
ch
i
sbecomi ngqueen.Ihavet
okill
someonewho
hassomeki ndofpowerbecauseIhaveno
par
ents.Iwenttoherplace..
.

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwasreal
lyworr
iedaboutaboutkemiset
so,
she'
sbeensicki
nbedf ordaysandshedoesn'
t
wanttogotothedoctor'
sandRemoi salr
eady
ahandful

It
ookoutmyphoneandcal
l
edSof
ia

Her
:"
Bonang"
Me:
"Sof
iay
ouneedt
ocomeov
er"
Her
:"
Ican'
tj
ustbeor
der
edar
ound"
Me:
"i
t'
sKemi
set
so,
she'
sreal
l
ysi
ck"
Her
:"
what
'
swr
ongwi
thher
?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowshewon'
tsay
"
Her
:"
okayI
'
llmaket
imet
oni
ght
"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Her
:"
okayby
e"

IknowKemmyi sgoingtohat emef ort

hisbutI
havenootherchoi
ce.SofiaandImi ghtnot
haveagreatmother
-daughterrel
ati
onshipbut
surel
ywecanhelpKemmyt ogether

°
°
°
°
Khensane

Thewat ersplashedallovermyr el
axedbody,
againIhadgai nedsomewei ght.Isangal
ongto
myf avouri
tesong, TruebyBrandywhenIf el
t
someone'spr esence.Itur
nedtof i
ndawoman
standi
ngatt hedoorhol di
ngakni f
e

Me:
"whoar
eyou?
"
Her:
"ohsweetieyoushoul
dn'
tbeworr
ying
aboutthatbutanyway
,kennaNeo"
Me:
"whatdoy
ouwant
?"
Her
:"
you"
Me:
"whataboutme?
"
Her
:"
arghy
ouaskal
otofquest
ions"
ShemovedcloserandIfel
tmyhear
trat
e
get
ti
ngoutofcontrol
.Ipani
cked

Me:
"st
ayawayf
rom me"
Her
:"
Iwoul
difIcoul
d"

Shet hrustt
heknifedeepintomyheartandI
gaspedf orbreat
h.Thenshet ooki
toutand
stabbedmeagai nont hestomach,mylegs
fail
edmeandIwentdownonmyknees.She
wentf orathir
dthrustonthechestandIcl
osed
myey es

°
°
°
°
Tsakane

Ireal
lywasl ookingfor
wardtot hi
snewy ear
andwonder edwhati thadi
nst oreforme.
Everyt
hingwoul dbesimpleifKhensanewasn't
pregnant.Idon'tthi
nkIhav
et heenergyto
handlethis

Isippedmyjuiceandsuddenlygotaverybad
feeli
ngaboutKhensanebeingindanger
.I
quickl
ygotupbutsatbackj usti
mmediatel
yas
ashar ppai
ntookoverme

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Tobecont
inued.
..
.
 I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

BonusI
nser
t64

Tsakane

Me:
"f
ast
erShanduf
ast
er"
Hi
m:"
wear
eonf
ull
speedTsakane"
Me:
"whati
fwear
etool
ate"
Him:
"don'
tsaythat.YouknowKhensanei
sful
l
ofdr
amasoi t
'sprobablynot
hingt
ooseri
ous"

Wewer erushi
ngofftotwinafterJanecall
ed
andsaiditwasanemer gency.Aponarri
vi
ng,
ther
ewer eal
readypol
icecarsandan
ambulance
IwentinasfastasIcoul
dignori
ngthepainI
fel
tonmyabdomen.Thepol icer
efusedtolet
met hr
ough

Me:
"Mbat
hat
ell
them whowear
e"
Hi
m:"
off
icer
,it
'smeNi
chol
asMbat
ha"
Of
fi
cer
:"
sirI
'
m af
rai
dIcan'
tl
ety
out
hrough"
Me:
"pl
easeIj
ustwantt
oknowwhathappened"
Off
icer
:"
thedeceasedwasstubbedsever
al
t
imesandt hepeopler
ippedof
fherheart
"
Shandu:
"deceased?
"
Off
icer
:"
I'
m af
rai
dIcan'
tpr
ovi
deany
mor
e
i
nformati
on"

Itr
iedspeakingbutmytonguedi
dn'
tmov e.If
elt
handsbalancingmeasIsuddenlyf
eltdi
zzy.
Whathav eIdone,al
lIknowist
hatKhensaneis
notfaki
nganythi
ngt
hist
imebecauseIcoul
dn'
t
feel
apar tofme

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iopenedt
hedoort
omam Sof
iaandl
etheri
n
,Remowasalr
eadyasl
eep
Her
:"
whereisshe?
":"
lockedupi
nher
r
oom":"
takemethere"

Wewentt
other
oommat
eandknocked
Kemmy
:"It
oldy
out
oleav
emeal
oneB"
Sof
ia:
"nonanai
t'
sme"

Soundsoffootst
epsthent
hedoorf
lungopen.
Kemmyl ookedatSof
iaupanddown

Kemmy
:"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Sof
ia:
"hear
dyouwer
esi
ck"
Kemmy:
"ohsoyoucoul
dn'
twai
ttoannounce
mysi
cknesshuh?
"

Sher
efer
redt
omecl
ear
lyi
rr
it
ated

Me:
"I
'm onl
ydoi
ngwhat
'sbestf
or.
..
"
Kemmy
:"bestf
orwhohuh?
whydon'
tyoudo
what'
sbestf
orRemoandunsexy
our
br
other?
whydon'
t..
."
Sofi
a:"
enough!nowl
ist
enhereyounggir
l,Iwon'
t
haveyoutal
kingtouswit
hthatdisr
espectf
ul
toneokay"
Kemmy
:"but.
..
"
Sofi
a:"
andI'
m def
ini
tel
ysur
ethatt
hisi
sthel
ast
ti
meIwar nyou"
Me:
"yooh"
Sof
ia:
"nowcomesi
tont
hecouchandl
etus
hel
pyou"

°
°
°
°
Neo

I
twasexact l
ymidnightandtherewasafull
moon, Iwalkedproudlytothecent
rehol
dingthe
heart
.TodayIwasgoi ngtobemadeaqueen
becauseoft hepowerKhensanepossessed
pl
ust heinnocentsoul'
sblood

TheKi
ngwassohappytobefed.Ev
ery
onesang
anddancedformeasIwai
tedt
obecrowned.
TheKi
ngcall
edmetothesi
de

Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
tthey
ou'
dpul
lthi
sof
f"
Me:
"butIdi
d"
Him:"
yesandy
ouar
eonest
epcl
osert
obei
ng
queen"
Me:
"yousai
dsot
hel
astt
ime"
Hi
m:"
Iknowthatbutr
ightnowyouhavetokil
l
t
hepersony
oulove.Asoulmustbesacr
ifi
ced"
Me:
"butKhensane.
..
"
Hi
m:"
theoney
oul
ovedear
"
Me:
"okay
"
Him:
"andremembert
hatt
here'snogoi
ngback.
Ther
e'sonl
yonewayout.
..death"

Ibowedmyheadashedr ankt
hebloodandat
e
theheart
.Idon'
tthi
nkIwanttodothi
sanymore
becauseitmeansmekill
i
ngGatsheni,
he'
sthe
onlyper
sonIlove

°
°
°
°
Ni
co

Wesawhercov eredinfoi
lbei
ngcar r
iedout.
Theforensict
eam wer ebusyinsi
dethehouse.I
coul
dseebl oodandt hi
stimeIcouldf eel
that
noonei stoyi
ngwi t
hme.Janel ookedso
horr
if
iedandIf ai
l
edt oholdbackmyt ears

Tsakanehasbeenmut eeversinceourarr
ival
andIdidn'
thav ethecour
aget ogot oherand
tal
ktoher.Idon'tknowhowmanyt imesCancer
has'di
ed'butthisti
meIcouldf eelt
heholein
myhear t

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Tell
i
ngpeopl ethatyoumightbeinfectedhas
gottobet hemostembar rassi
ngthingever
especi
all
yi foneoft hepeopleisy
ourmom but
Sofi
ali
terallyforcedthetr
uthoutofme

Me:"
..
.soyeahIt
hinkImi
ghthav
eSTIor
somethi
ng"
Sof
ia:
"t
hisissi
mple,well
justhav
ey ouchecked
byt
omor r
owmor ningandit'
sprobabl
yVDS"
B:
"i
t'
snot
hingt
obeashamedof
"
Me:
"gaaheasyf
ory
out
osay
"
Sof
ia:
"whatdi
dIsayabouty
ourt
one?
"
Me:
"sor
ry"
Him:"
shehasahol
e,
ri
ghtwher
eherhear
twas
r
ippedout
"
Me:
"ohmygod"

Iputmyhandsonmyheadandagai
nfel
tthat
pai
n.Idi
dn'
ttel
lany
one

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Wecal l
edfami l
yandfr
iends,other
swere
shockedthatKhensanediedforthesecond
ti
me.Itwasr eal
lyembarrassi
ngandsadatthe
st
artt
ime.

Tsakanegotupandwentt
othet
oil
et.
Isawapict
ureofCanceronTVandi
ncr
eased
thevol
ume

Repor t
er:"
shocki ngnewsofst arCancerwas
foundmur deredatherpl acein
Blimvil
e,appar entl
yherheartwasrippedout.
Howev er
,twi t
terisgoingcrazysayi
ngthat
Canceri slikeacatwi thnineli
vesandwill
surelycomeback.Ot her
sar eangr
ythatthestar
i
sal way s'dies'.Let'
shearsomecomment s
from fans"

Ihopetheydon'
thavebadt
hingst
osay
becauseweallknowhowfanscanbesav
age
Fan1: "
Iwil
lmisshermusi
ceventhoughshe
di
dr el
easesomethi
ngthi
syear,
Khensanewas
alegend.RI
P"

Fan2:"
noman,Khensanei
sful
lofdr
ama,
we
knowshe'
sal
i
vesomewhere"

Fan3: "shewasabeauti
fulpersonbutshuuu,
couldn'tkeephercl
awsoffhertwin'
shusband.
Disgrace"

Fan4: "
hert
wi npr
obabl
ysentsomeonetori
p
offherhear
t,haiI
'
ddothesamexem ifshe
sl
eptwithmyhusband"

Fan5:"
she'sdonebadt hingsbecauseshe'
s
human.Noonedeser v
est odi
einthatmanner
nomatterwhatwrongst hey'
vedone,mayher
soul
resti
npeace"

Iswit
chedofft
heTV, howcouldpeopl
ebeso
cruel
andheart
less?Howdidtheyevenknow
abouttheaf
fai
r?Theyaresonoseyandsuing
themediawil
lj
ustbeawast e

Tsakane:
"yeah,
fans"
Me:"
I'
m sosor
ryy
ouhadt
oheart
hesesnat
ty
comments"
Her
:"
soev
ery
oneknows"
Me:
"l
ucki
l
ynooneknowsaboutt
hedi
vor
ce"
Her
:"
yet
"
Me:"we'
l
lgett
hroughthi
s.Iwi
shedIcoul
dsay
thatwedidt
hefir
stti
meandwewi l
lnowbutI
can't
"
Her
:"
mypar
ent
s?"
:"
ont
hei
rwayagai
nbutt
his
t
imet
heyar
enothappy
"

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Afterrecei
vinganinj
ecti
onandsomepi l
ls,
Ifel
t
betteralr
eadybutwhatwasr eall
yshockingis
thatKhensanehasdi edagai
n.Ilookedupon
socialmediaandpeoplewerer oasti
ngthetwin
andherf amily,
itwassad.Nooneof fer
ed
sympat hytheyevenmadeahasht ag
#Cancer TheCat,memesandst uff
Sofi
ahadgonebackthere'
stoseewhatshe
candoagai
n,i
treal
l
ywasconf usingbecause
noonereal
l
yknowswhi chiswhich

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t65

Tsakane

Wewer ebeingfl
oggedbyt hemedi abecause
apparent
lynoonebelievest hatKhensaneis
gone.Wehadt oissueast atementt oget
her
wit
hthef or
ensi
cconf ir
mingt hati
ndeedsheis
nomor e
Itwassohear t
breaki
ngtof eelthewrathofthe
media,thefamilyontheothersside,wasnot
happytoconeagai nandbur ryKhensaneforthe
secondt i
me.Theyalldemandedt oknowwhy
theyshouldbothercomingt hi
st i
me,itwasall
chaosbutShanduandIsuppor tedeachother

Thepainhi
tagainsharperthanever
yandt
his
ti
me,Icoul
dn'thi
deit.Shantungsawme
l
eani
ngont hewallandrushedt ome

Hi
m:"
Tsakanewhat
'swr
ong?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowmyst
omachi
ssor
e"
Hi
m:"
weneedt
ogety
out
othedoct
or'
sASAP"
Me:
"oohShandui
thut
s"
Hi
m:"
Igoty
ouTsakane"
Hecarri
edmet othecaranddroveattopspeed
whil
eIwascr yingatthebackseat
.Itr
eall
yhurt
andIkeptprayingthatIdon'
tl
oosethebaby.I
wasimmedi atelyat
tendedtowhenwegott her
e
andIwasv eryscared

°
°
°
°

Neo

Iwatchedhim eat,Gatsheniisal
lIhav eandit
brokemyhearttohav etodot hi
st ohi
m.At
l
eastIdidn'
thavet ospil
l bl
ood,Ijustneededto
takehissoult
ot heKing
Hi
m:"
youwental
loutf
ort
hismeal
hey
"
Me:
"yesIdi
dital
lfory
ou"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouhav
en'
ttouchedy
ourf
ood"
Me:
"I
'm notr
eal
l
yhungr
y"
Hi
m:"
Iseey
oumanagedtogetKhensane,
it'
sal
l
ov
ert
henews.Wel
ldone"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Ikeptst
eal
i
nggl
ancesathi
m ashei
nnocent
s
dugin

Him:
"soonwe'l
lbecr
ownedKingandQueen
andperhapswecantakeont
heKing"
Me:
"yeahIguess"
Hi
m:"
babywhat
'
swr
ong?
"
Me:
"wi
th?
"
Hi
m: "
youofcour
se,
youseem anxi
ous.I
t'
sli
ke
..
..
aah"

Hetouchedhi
sstomachandst
art
edshaki
ng
l
ikehewashavingasei
zur
e

Me:
"I
'm sor
ryGat
sheni
"
Hi
m:"
hel
p"

Ihadtowatchasthefoam cameoutofhi
s
mouthandhissoull
eavehisbody
.Itooki
tina
boxthatt
heKinghadgiventome

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwasont hephonewithJwhowasj ustas

shockedaboutKhensane'
sseconddeath

Me:"
Isti
ll
can'
tunder
standwhat
'
shappeni
ng
chomi"
Hi
m:"
sowemustgot
her
eandcr
yagai
n?"
Me:
"hai
imagi
ne"
Hi
m:"Idon'
tthi
nkweshoul
dgo.Ihear
dthat
t
hey'
l
l beli
vest
reami
ng"
Me:
"seemsl
i
ket
heyar
ejustf
ull
ofdr
amanj
e"
Him:"
seem chomi
?not
hesepeopl
ear
ejustf
ull
ofit
"
Me:
"Idon'
tev
enknowhowt
ofeel
abouti
t"
Hi
m:"
menei
thery
ooh"
Me:
"chomi
Remoi
sawakesowe'
l
lchatl
ater
"
Hi
m:"
okaybabes"
Me:
"shap"

Iputdownmyphoneandat tendedt
oRemo,it
wast i
metochangehernappy.Kemi
set
so
tappedmeontheshoulderwhil
eIwasbusy

Her
:"
soy
ourl
i
fei
sn'
tful
lofdr
ama?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
"
Her:
"youhavetochil
dwithyourownbr
other
andstil
lhavetheaudaci
tyt
osaytheMbatha
fami
lyhav edr
ama"
Me:"t
houghtSofi
atalkedt
oyouaboutyour
st
inki
ngatti
tudebecauseIam pi
ssedwit
hit
"
Her
:"
andI
'
m sur
eSof
iawoul
dn'
tl
iket
hei
deaof
y
ougossi
pingwi
thgaypeopl
e"
Me:"
thever
ysamegayper
sony
ouhappenedt
o
openyourl
egsf
or"

Shegavemeadeathst
areandwasabouttogo
smackdownonbutRemocr i
edagai
nandshe
st
ormedoffcl
i
cki
nghertongue

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Atthi
spoi
ntIam ver
yscaredbecauseTsakane
hasbeenscr
eamingli
keshealr
eadyinlabour.I
r
ecei
vedacal
lfr
om mybanker

Me:"
I'
m abi
tbusyr
ightnowcanIst
opbyt
he
banktomor
row"
Her
:"
butsi
rthi
sisur
gent
"
Me:"
can'
tbeurgentt
hanwhatIhav
eonmy
pl
ateri
ghtnowbye"

Icutthecall
andhel
dherhand,y
oucouldsee
thethefeari
nherey
es.Thedoctorwal
kedin
andIstoodup

Me:
"t
alkt
ousdoc"
Doc:"wel
lit
'snothi
ngver
yseri
ous,
shejust
str
ainedtheparaspi
nalmuscl
esonherlower
back"
Her
:"
how?
"
Doc:"Idon'
tknow,heavyl
i
fti
ng,
str
essper
haps
butthebabyisgrowingupsowell
.He'
sa
str
ongandheal t
hyboy"
Me:
"t
hanksdoc"
Doc:
"Iwoul
dstrongl
yadvisethough,
Mrand
MrsMbatha,t
akeiteasyelsether
ewill
beno
baby
"
Her
:"
weheary
oudoct
or"
Doc:
"nowt
hesear
ethemedsandv
itami
ns"
Me:
"okayt
hank"
Doc:
"j
ustdoi
ngt
hebestIcanci
ao"

Hel
eftuswi
thabi
tofr
eli
ef

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Theanti
bioti
csr eal
lyhelpedme.Foramoment ,
Iwasworriedaboutt hatImightbepregnant
butl
ucki
lyI'm not.Iattendedtomyphoneand
gotol
dmi ssedcal l
sfrom Nico,Ical
l
edhi m

Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:"
Ijustsawy
ourmi
ssedcal
l
s.Iwasv
ery
si
ck"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"uhm .
..whatwer
eyoucal
l
ingabout
?"
Hi
m:"wantedyout
ocomet
owor
kbutdon'
t
wor
ryit
'ssort
ed"
Me:
"whatdoy
oumeansor
ted?
"
Him:"
themanagerandhisassist
antwil
lbe
hol
dingthefor
tsolongasI'
ll
best i
l
ldeali
ng
wit
hpersonali
ssues"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
yesby
e"
Me:
"by
e"

Idon'
tknowwhyIfel
tli
kehewasbeingcol
der
towar
dsmebutitwasokayI'
l
lrest

°
°
°
°

Neo
Me:
"i
t'
sdonemyl
ord"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:"
aren'
tyougoi
ngt
osayany
thi
ngabout
cr
owning?"
Hi
m:"
whatcr
owni
ng?
"
Me:
"but.
..
"
Hi
m: "
nineyear
swi t
husandy ousti
ll
haven'
t
l
earnedyounggir
ls.Youknowtherenosuch
t
hingascrowningorrewardhere"

Iwast
akenabackbecauseherpr
omisedto
makemequeen.Il
ookedaroundthecav
e

Me:
"you.
..
"
Hi
m:"bei
nginpowerr
equiresalot.Youhav
eto
ki
l
lunti
lyouhavenoconscious"
Me:
"t
hat
'sr
idi
cul
ous"
Hi
m:"
aft
erev
ery
thi
ngI
'
vedonef
ory
ouNeo.
..
"
Me:
"whati
sthatexact
ly?
"
Hi
m:"youkil
landthepol
i
cedon'
tlookfory
ou
i
sn'
tthatenough?
bloodmakesy
oust r
onger
i
sn'
tthatenough?
"
Me:
"no,
Iqui
t"

HelaughedatmesohardIcouldn'thol
dback
mytears.Iwal
kedout,
ti
redofbeingusedand
ensl
aved.I'
l
lfi
ndachur
chandliveagoodlife

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

5mor
etogo
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS
 BonusI
nser
t66

Ni
co

Iwasgladt
hatTsakaneandNicoJuniorar
enot
i
ndangerbuthowever,
thedoctorcal
l
edmet o
hi
soff
ice

Doc:
"Shandu"
Me:
"doc"
Doc:
"I
'm sur
eyouareawar
ethaty
ourwi
fei
s
soongoingtol
abour
"
Me:
"exwi
fe.
..uhm no,
Idi
dn'
treal
i
set
hat
"
Doc:
"wel
lsheisandherbl
oodpr
essur
eissky
hi
ghwhichisnotgood"
Me:
"Isee"
Doc:
"Iadv
icey
out
omakesur
esheeat
sheal
thy
andstopsst
ressi
ng.Ibeli
eveit
'saboutthe
deat
hofhertwinandy oudiv
orcingher"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tdivor
ceherand.
.okaydoct
ori
s
t
her
eany t
hingel
se?
"
Doc:
"yourhav
etoset
tl
ethebi
l
lbef
oreshegi
ves
bi
rt
h"
Me:
"It
houghtt
hemedi
cal
aid.
..
"
Doc:
"r
anout
"
Me:
"oh"
Doc:"
thanksf
oryourti
me,ourf
inanci
al
depart
mentisthatsi
de"
Me:
"okay
"

Iwal
kedther
eandwassur pri
sedtolear
nthat
mycarddecli
ned,l
uckil
yIhav
emor ethanone
car
dfrom di
ff
erentbankssoIusedone
°
°
°
°

Neo

Iwal
kedinsi
dethecave,i
twasnotasscar yas
i
tnormall
yisduri
ngthenight
.TheKingwassick
onhi
sthronewaiti
ngforme.Ididn'
tbowl
ing
butl
ookedathim st
rai
ghtint
heey e

Hi
m:"
that
'squi
teaner
ver
ightt
her
e"
Me:
"whyhav
eIbeensummoned?
"
Hi
m:"what
'swit
hallt
heanger?here,
hav
esome
bl
ood.I
t'
sfrom ani
nnocent
,soul"
Me:
"not
hanks"
Hi
m:"
geez"
Me:
"Imadei
tcl
eart
hatIwant
edout
"
Hi
m:"
youdi
d"
Me:
"so?
"
Hi
m:"
Iwanty
out
ohav
ethi
s"
Me:
"what
?"

Heout
str
etchedhost
ingwor
myf
inger
sand
gav
emear ing

Hi
m:"
taket
his"
Me:
"why
?"
Him:"
putitonyouri
ndexfi
ngerandstop
quest
ioningmyauthor
it
y,y
ouwant edoutand
I
'm gi
vingyouout"
Me:
"f
ine"
Iworetheri
ngandwalkedoutwi
thoutl
ooki
ng
back.That
'sabi
tofl
uck

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Myabdomenwassor eandIwasf eel

i
ng
l
ight
headed.Jaywoul
dthi
nkthatIwantedt
o
getr
idofhimifIt
oldhi
m

Hehadcometocheckuponmeandi twas
ni
cetoknowt
hatwearest
il
lfr
iends.Bonang
hadt
akenRemot
efori
mmuni
sat
ionsoi
twas
j
ustt
hetwoofus

Hi
m:"
youdon'
tl
ookokay
"
Me:
"I
'm not
"
Hi
m:"
what
'swr
ong?
"
Me:"Idon'
tknowI
'
mjustf
eel
i
ngof
fand
nauseous"
Hi
m:"
areyoupr
egnant
?ist
hatwhyy
oubr
okeup
wi
thme?"
Me:
"ofcour
senot
"
Him:
"t
henI
'
m surey
ouwon'
tmi
ndmet
aki
ng
yout
oadoctor
"
Me:
"f
ine"

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

IstoppedbythebankasIpr omisedandhada
meet i
ngwithmybanker's,
Ididn'tl
ikewhatI
heardatall
.Ever
ythi
ngseemst obet akinga
tol
lonme, fir
stt
hesl owbusiness,Iget
div
orcedthenKhensanediesahor r
ibledeath
aft
erloosi
ngmybabyandt henthis...Iswear
thi
smustbef orallt
hehorri
blethingsI '
vedone

Idrovehomeandt hought..
.Tsakane'
st ear
s
andprayer
sarealsoaddingI'
m sure.Myhead
wasv er
yheavyandsowasmyhear t.IknowI
wouldn'
tdri
nkwhenIgethomeduet othe
noseyfamil
ymember swhowi l
lbejudgingme
Iheardthesoundofcarhor
nsandpeopl
e
screaming,
damn!Ialmosthi
tanoldwoman
crossi
ngwithhergr
andson.Iqui
ckl
yhi
tmy
brakesandtheguyrantomycar

Hi
m:"
whatt
hef
uckdude?
"
Me:
"sor
rymymi
ndi
sjustpr
eoccupi
ed"
Hi
m:"
wel l
everyonehaspr
oblemsbutwesee
t
hem concent
rati
ngwhentheydri
ve"
Me:
"Isai
dI'
m sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
fucky
ou"

Hekickedthetyr
eandIl
ethi
m be,
ifIwer
ei na
goodmi ndI'
dbeathi
mforki
cki
ngmyAudi RS5
Coupè
°
°
°
°

Neo

Knowi
nghowt ri
ckyTheKingi
s, Ir
anintothe
vel
dtothr
owawayt heri
ngbuti twouldn'
tcome
off
.It
ri
edsohar dt
otakeitoffbutitwas
somehowlockedtomyf i
ngerthenitexpl
oded
andIi
mmedi at
elywentbl
ind

Itri
edwalkingupthemainroadbutsomeone
grabbedmer oughl
yandpulledme.Itr
ied
fi
ghtingbutwasknockedoutwitht
hebackofa
gunandpassedonout
WhenIcamet o,If
eltmypri
vat
epartbur
ningas
i
fithadbeenabused.Thebackofmyheadhurt
ver
ybadandIsuspectthatIl
ostal
otofblood

Voi
ce1:
"guy
sshe'
sawake"
Voi
ce2:
"f
ini
shher
"
Me:
"pl
easedon'
tki
l
lme"
Voi
ce1:
"l
et'
sleav
ehershe'
l
ldi
eonherown"
Voi
ce2:
"can'
ttakeanychances"

Ihear
dfoot
stepsappr
oachi
ngmeand
somethi
ngcoldpl
acedonmyfor
ehead,
agun
cl
earl
y

Me:
"pl
ease,
I'
m bl
i
nd,
I'
ll
tel
lnoonepl
ease"
Voi
ce2:
"f
ini
shher
"
Baaam!

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so

Wear r
ivedandt
henursecheckedmewhi l
ewe
wait
edforadoctor
.Jaywentouttobuysome
foodbecauseIwashungr
y.They oungdoctor
camewi t
hanot
herl
ady

Doc:
"Kemiset
sot
hisi
sdoct
orJamesour
Oncol
ogist
"
Me:
"huh?
"
Doc:
"nur
se,
pleasepr
ept
hepat
ientf
orbi
opsy
"
Me:
"cany
ouatl
eastt
ell
mewhat
'
sgoi
ngon?
"
Oncologi
st:
"t
heyf
oundamassony
ourcer
vix
anditcoul
dbemalignant
"
Me:
"meani
ng?
"
Doc:
"ther
e'sapossi
bil
i
tythatyoumayhav e
cer
vixcancer.
..nur
segetthecasset
tes"
Me:
"ohGod"

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
YesterdayIwasv er
yscar edbutthedoctorwas
ri
ght,Ihadtostopst ressingbutit'
sdif
fi
cultnot
to.Thisissupposedt obet hehappiestmoment
ofmyl if
e,bondingwi ththenewl i
fegrowing
i
nsideofmebutI '
m suff
er i
nginst
ead.Can't
evenenjoytheki cks

Shanduf oundmesitt
ingatthekit
chen,
hehad
them gloomiestl
ookI'
veeverseen.Hestood
withhishandsinhispocket

Me:
"badday
?"
Hi
m:"
yes,
kur
ough"
Me:
"si
tandl
etmemakeussomecamomi
l
e
t
ea"
Hi
m:"
what
evert
hati
s"
Igotupandmadeustheteawhil
ehesatdown
andcover
edhi
sface.Ihandedhi
m hi
scup

Me:
"her
eitwi
l
lhel
pcal
m downt
hener
ves"
Hi
m:"t
hanksthoughI
'
m notsur
eI'
l
lbecal
m
af
ter
wards"
Me:
"t
alkt
ome"
Hi
m:"
Iwasatt
hebankandi
t'
sbad"
Me:
"uh-
huh"
Hi
m:"I
'
m goi
ngthr
oughbankr
upt
cy,I
'm notsur
e
i
fI'
l
lbeabl
etopaythewor
kerst
hisy
ear"

Ipr
etendedl
ikeIdi
dn'
tknow,
thebankinf
ormed
meday sbef
orethedi
vor
cewasfi
nali
sed

Me:
"howi
sitpossi
ble?
"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowbutal
lIknowi
sthatt
hose
mi
l
li
onsar
egone"
Me:
"t
hat
's.
..
.unexpect
ed"
Hi
m: "
yeahl
uckil
yforyou,yourshar
eisst
il
l
i
ntact
forl
egalpurposesonly
"
Me:
"huh?
"
Hi
m:"
sor
ryj
ustgotmywi
rescr
ossed"
Me:"
itwill
befi
ne,I
'v
ebeensavi
ngsoI
'l
ll
end
youatleast2mil
l
iontohel
pyoufi
ndy
ourfeet
"
Hi
m:"
2met
er!
"
Me:"befor
eyouaskwher eIgoti
tremember
thatIusedtobeadoct orwhowasmarri
edto
thi
ssuccessfulengi
neersoI'
m boundt
ohavea
coupleofmill
ions"
Hi
m:"
wow"
Me:
"yep"

If
ini
shedmyt
eaandwentt
orestl
eav
inghi
m
questi
oni
nghimsel
f.Thefamil
ywouldbe
arr
ivi
ngsoonandIhadt obeprepar
edbecause
I'
m suret
hey'
l
lbeveryrudeandshownomer cy

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

4mor
etogo f
orgi
vet
heer
ror
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t67

Kemi
set
so

Myphonerangwhi
l
eIwasst
il
li
nbed,
itwasa
pr
ivat
enumber
Me:
"hel
l
o"
Voice:
"Mi
ssKemiset
sowehaveyourr
esult
s.
You'r
eappoi
ntedtopi
ckt
hem upat1o'
clock"
Me:
"okayt
hanks"
Voi
ce:
"t
hanky
ouhav
eagr
eatday
"
Me:
"samet
oyouby
e"

(
Shar
pint
akeofbr
eat
h)

Me:
"okayt
hisi
sit
"

Ididn'
ttel
lJthedetail
syesterday,Ij
usttol
dhi
m
thatI'
l
ltel
lonceI'
mr eady.Idi
dn'teventell
BonangorSof i
a.Ijustwentthroughbiopsy
aloneandbeggedt hem nottotell
J

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Wewereal
lgat
her
edinourv erybi
gloungeand
f
rom t
hel
ooksonthei
rfaces,nooneishappy
t
obehere

Me:"
thankyoual
lforcoming,
asy ouknow,we
ar
egat her
edher
efortheburi
alofmyt wi
n
Khensane"
Gogo:
"t
heverysamekhensanewebur
iedf
ew
weeksago?
"
Aunt1:
"t
hesameonei
magi
ne"
Me:
"KhensaneandIhadourdi
ff
erencesatt
hat
t
imesoshehadt
opr
etendl
i
keshedi
ed"
Gogo:
"gaah!
"
Uncl
e:"
that
'st
aboo"
Me:
"Iknowbut.
..
"
Aunt2:"weentombazane,weusemoneyt oget
hereandwedi dn'tgett
hatmoneyfreet
he
trees"
:"
I'
ll
coverthetrav
ell
i
ngcostsand
reimburseyouthemoneyy ouwasted"
Uncle:
"t
alksoftherich,
theydowhatev
erthey
wantbecauset heyhavemoney.Theyevenget
bur
iedandr eburi
ed"

Il
ookedatmyparent
swhosaidnot
hing.
Embarr
assmentcl
earl
yswal
l
owedfather
.Thi
s
i
sgoodtobealongday

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Iwasreadi
ngthenewspaperandgott
heshock
ofmylif
ewhenIlearnedt
hatanot
herwoman
wasfounddeadinthevel
d

Isatont
hecouchandswi
tchedont
heTV

'
#am Inextseemstocont i
nueasy etanother
deadwomanf ound.Ourreport
sshownt hatthi
s
womani si
denti
fi
edasNeoNdl ov
uwaski ll
ed
andthenburntwi
thacid.Furt
heri
nv est
igati
ons
are..
.'
Iswitcheditof
fagainandthoughtt
hati
fI
hadn'thadMxolisi
arrest
ed,I
'dbeonthenews
too.IwatchedRemopl ayi
ngpeacef
uland
wonder edwhatthefutur
eholds

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Ifi
nal
lygothol
dofabi tofJamsonswhil
ethe
famil
yweresti
l
linthemeet i
ng.Sof
iamanaged
tosneakinabott
leformeatt hegy
m
Ihitt
hepunchi ngbagaf ewtimeswhi l
e
drowningmysor r
ows, nothi
ngi sgoi
ngrighti
n
myl i
fe,nothingatall.Iheardfootst
eps
approachingmydi rectionandquickl
yhidthe
bottl
e.IturnedtofindNt ombiatthedoorway.I
rantoherandgav eal ongti
ghtsqueeze

Her
:"
Tsakanesai
dI'
dfi
ndy
ouher
e"
Me:
"hawuNt
ombi
"
Her
:"
youneedn'
thi
det
hatbot
tl
ebi
gbr
otheri
t'
s
me"

Wesatdownontheyogamats.Shelooked
di
ff
erent
,sl
i
ght
lyt
hinandmalnutr
it
ioned.I
of
fer
edheradr
inkbutsher
efused

Me:
"t
hanksf
orunder
standi
ng"
Her
:"
I'
mthel
astper
sont
ojudge"
Me:
"howhav
eyoubeen?
wher
e'st
hebaby
?"
Her
:"
thebabyi
swi
thsoci
alwor
ker
s"
Me:
"why
?"
Her
:"I
'
m goi
ngt
orehabt
odaysoIt
houghtwhy
not
"
Me:
"r
ehab?
"
Her:"
it'
sthefi
rstst
ep.I'
mt aki
ngcontr
ol ofmy
l
ife.LastweekIwasatawoman' sconference
andIgotalltheposit
ivefeedbackonhowt o
handlemyl i
fe"
Me:
"I
'm sopr
oudofy
ou"

Ithoughtofhowshehasbeenr unni
ngaway
from rehabswhenev erItookherandnowshei
s
takingher sel
fther
e.If el
talit
tl
eguil
tyf
or
abandoni ngher.Ididn'tevenknowshehad
givenbirth
Her
:"
I'
m sosor
ryabouty
ourl
oss"
Me:
"yeahi
tsahugl
ossonmysi
de"
Her
:"
Iknowy
oul
ovedher
"
Me:
"yeahsomysoul
isl
i
ter
all
ydamaged"
Her
:"
Ifeel
ya"

Wesati
nsi
l
encef
orawhi
l
e

Me:
"sol
et'
scat
chup"

°
°
°
°

Kemmy
Iwasveryanxi
ousi
nthedoct
orsr
oom,t
he
fr
iendl
ywomancameandsatopposi
teofme

Doc:
"I
'm af
rai
dI'
vegotbadnews"
Me:
"j
ustspi
titoutdoc"
Doc:
"f
ir
styoumustgot
hroughcounsel
l
ing,
it'
s
st
andardpr
ocedur
e"
Me:"
noneeddoc,
Ial
readyknowt
hati
t'
sbad
newssotel
l
"
Doc:"
wehadtorunacoupl
eoft
est
stogetcl
ear
resul
tsand.
..
"
Me:
"and?
"
Doc:"
wef oundt
haty
ouhav
est
age2ofcer
vical
cancer"

It
ri
edhol
dingbackt
het
ear
sbutIcoul
dn'
t,
I'
ll
hav
etot
ell
ever
yone

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Ever
yonegotset t
ledaftermyfathersaidafew
words.Hekeptaser iousfaceandwe
conti
nuedwit
ht hearrangements.Mot herwas
notokayandlookedlikeshewasgoi ngt ohav
e
aheartat
tack

Iwentov
ert
oherwi
thagl
assofwat
er
Me:
"her
emama"
Her
:"
thanks"
Me:
"Iam l
ostf
orwor
ds"
Her:"
Iwi
shitcouldbel
ikethatt
imewhereshe
cal
ledandtoldmethatshewassti
ll
ali
vebut
neededtohide"
Me:
"Iwi
shsot
oo"
Her:
"howzitgoi
ngwit
hthebaby
?becauseIcan
seethatyouarecl
osetol
abour
"
Me:"
I'
mtry
ingnottoov
ert
hinkt
hingsbuti
t'
s
al
mostimpossi
ble"
Her
:"
Iunder
stand.
..andShandu?
"
Me:
"wear
egoodv
erygood"
Her:
"okaybutIt
hinky
oushoul
dcomehome
wit
hus"
Me:
"t
houghtabouti
t"
Her
:"
and?
"
Me:"
I'
ll
comejustf
oraf
ewmont
hsunt
ilt
he
babyi
sstr
ong"
Her
:"
yesi
t'
sagoodi
dea"
Me:
"mybodyisalr
eadyti
red"
:"
tel
lthatt
ogogo
MaShandushe'
l
lgivey
ouamassage"
Me:"y
oohev
enShandudoesn'
twanther
.She'
s
l
ikemamabear
"
Her
:"
I'
ll
tel
lher
"

Welaughedabitbutt
hepai
nwasst
art
edt her
e.
Reali
tyist
hatIl
ostmytwi
nandmot
herlosta
daughter

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Br
acey
our
sel
ffort
hef
uner
al
 I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

BonusI
nser
t68

Kemi
set
so

Sof
ia:
"whyhav
eyoucal
l
edusher
enana"
Me:
"t
her
e'ssomet
hingy
all
needt
oknow"

Shel
ookedatherwat
chi
mpat
ient
ly

Me:"
it'
sokay
,youcangotothefuner
al.I
t'
s
not
hingimport
ant
.Iknowyouwanttobet her
e
byt
het i
metimethebodyar
riv
es"
Bonang:
"i
tisi
fyousummonedusher
e"
Sof
ia:
"cal
m downBonangandl
etherspeak"
If
eltmymout
hgetdr
yandt
ear
sst
ari
ngt
obur
n
myeyes

Me:"
ther
e'snoeasywaytoputt
hisbutI
di
scover
edthatIhavest
age2cervi
calcancer
andneedtostar
tchemother
apyi
mmedi atel
y"
B:
"what
?"
Sof
ia:
"ohmybaby
"

Shecr
ammedmei
namot
her
lyembr
ace

Me:
"yesIj
ustwant
edt
olety
ouknow"
B:"I
'
m sosor
rymt
asekhay
anoonedeser
ves
that"
Me:
"i
t'
sokay
"
Sof
ia:
"we'
l
lsuppor
tyoui
nev
erypossi
bleway
"
B:
"yesdef
ini
tel
y"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Thisisanewl i
feIhav
etoacceptandmoveon.
It
'snotl
ikeit
'sgoi
ngtobeeasybutthedoct
or
saysposit
ivi
tywil
ldomegood

°
°
°
°

[
Funer
alday
]

Tsakane
Iwastakent
ot hecemeterybytheel
dersbef
ore
dawnandgotinsixfeetunder
groundwhere
Khensanewi
llbeburi
ed.They'
vesayit
'sto
avoi
dmef ol
l
owi nghertodeath

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

ThedayI'
vebeendreadingisfinal
lyhereand
I'
m sur
eitwil
lbewor sethanyesterdaywhen
theybr
oughtherbodyin.Everyonewasi na
stat
eandcouldn'
tstoptheirt
ears
Wewereaboutt
ogotot
hehal
landIwat
ched
aswewerebei
ngfi
l
med

Reporter:
"Wearel
ive,recordingthesadand
shockingfuner
ealofmusi clegendKhensane
MalulekaakaCancer,celebrit
ies,music
producesandjournal
i
st sfrom allar
oundare
heretowi t
nessasthef amilysaytheirf
inal
goodby es"

Iwenttoherandaskedhernottof
il
m anyt
hing
thatmi
ghtembarassthefamil
ydur
ingthi
s
toughmoment

Thechoi
rst
art
edsi
ngi
ng

nt
atehakesasepel
a,hol
elel
agaelaheso,
o
nt
huseketsebegor
eholoki
l
ehol
okil
e
seonkadi
mil
engsona,
gaorekesebuset
se,
l
etengket
lal
ekagore..
.hol
oki
lehol
oki
le

Thesonghi thar
dbecauseIunderstoodever
y
wordbutIdon'tthi
nkI'
ll
beabletosay'hol
okil
e'
.
It
'ssohardtoacceptthedeat
hoft heone
personItr
ulylov
ed.Tsakanewasinast at
eand
sowast hei
rmot herasweall
wentt othe
servi
cevenue

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
Itwas8am andwewer ealr
eadyatt
heservi
ce
venuewhi
chwast hecemeterypr
emises,t
he
hall
wasful
lypackedandthehugephotoofher
smili
ngwashardtomiss.

Thepall
bear
ersrol
l
edinthebeaut
if
uland
expensi
vegl
asscasket,
andwenttoplacei
t
befor
ethestand

Theserv
icest
arted,speechesweremade,
endl
ess,f
rom support
ivefansandthatsnake
Bonangandofcourse
Isai
dafewgoodwordscar
eful
nott
oment
ion
thef
all
outanddr
amawehad

Sofi
a:" forthegoodt i
mesandt hebadti
mes,
we'l
lal
way sloveyousist
er(si
ster
)far
ewel
l,
far
ewell
,farewell
,far
ewell
,hambakahle "
Wegottothegravesi
deandwatchedascasket
wasbei
ngr ol
l
eddown.Thisisi
tIthoughtt
o
mysel
f.I'
m notagreatsi
ngerl
i
keKhensane
wasbutIhadtosi
ngt hi
sonesong

Me:
" laydownmyt
winsi
ster,
laydownand
t
akeyourr
est
Iwannal
ayy
ourheadupont
hesav
iour
'sgr
ace
Il
ovey
oubutJesusl
ovesy
oumor
e
Ibi
dyougoodni
ght "

Iwasv er
yemot i
onal
butt
hechoirhelpedme
si
ngitandthegravewasbei
ngfil
led.My
mothercoll
apsedandIal
mosttoobutwas
qui
cklyatt
endedto
°
°
°
°

Bonang

Afterthefuneral
Iwasbusywi t
hself
examination,checki
ngforanylumpsonmy
breast.I
t'
sadi ff
icul
tti
meforKemi set
soandI
don'tevenknowhowt osupporther

Shewasasl eepnexttoRemoandhercancer
scareremindedmet hatt
hisi
sbreastcancer
awarenessmonthandIdi dal
ltheresear
chI
needed
Cancerisav er
yscaryil
lnessbecauseweknow
thati
tisdangerous.Earl
ydetect
ionsavesli
ves
anditcanbebeat en.I
'mjustworri
edthat
Kemmywi llnotbeabletohav echi
ldr
en

Ipeepedi
nthebedr
oom andshewasplayi
ng
wit
hRemo.Iwentinwit
htheeggsandwichI
hadmadeforherwit
happlej
uice

Me:
"hey
,youawake"
Her
:"
yesRemowokeme"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Her:
"noi
tsnotaprobl
em.YouknowhowIl
i
ke
pl
ayi
ngwithher"
Me:
"Ido.Imadey
ouasandwi
ch"
Her:
"t
hanksyouthebestbi
gsi
ster
":
"youdon'
t
al
waysthinkt
hatway"
Her
:"
Ido,
Ijustdon'
tsay
"
Me:
"t
hat
'ssi
l
ly,
shameony
ouy
ou"

Ipl
ayf
ull
yhi
therwi
thapi
l
low

Her:
"t
her
e'snoneedt
ofeel
sor
ryf
orme,
I'
vegot
t
his"
Me:"
Iknow,
youar
est
rongandy
ouar
ea
sur
viv
or"
Her
:"
I'
mthenextdi
ehar
d"
Me:"
don'
tj
okeaboutthingsl
iket
hat.
..I
'
m
goi
ngtoprepsupper
":
"okay"
Me:
"cheer
s"

Iki
ssedRemoandgotup
Her
:"
Bonang,
I'
m sor
ryaboutev
ery
thi
ng"
Me:
"wat
erundert
hebr
idge"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Twomor
e.

.
..
Remembertotakecar
eofyour
selv
esand
l
ovedones.Li
fei
stooshor
ttohol
dgrudges
andst
uff
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t69

Tsakane
Threemoreweekshadpassedandi twasn't
pl
easantatall
.Ididn'
tgohomewithmypar ent
s
becausethedoctorsai
dImusttakeiteasyand
advisedmenottodoanyt r
avel
l
ing

Iaskedoneoft
hedr
iver
stot
akemet
othe
gravey
ard

Me:
"I
'l
lcal
lyout
ocomepi
ckmeup"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkIshoul
dwai
t"
Me:
"nodon'
tI'
l
lbei
nforal
ongt
ime"
Hi
m:"
asy
ouwi
shmam"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Hedidn'
tlookhappytol
eavemealonet
herebut
hedid.
Iwenttohertombst
oneandsatdownon
theedge
Me:"
heyt wi
n,sorr
yIdidn'
tbr
ingfl
ower
sor
any
thing"Il
ookedaroundandtear
srol
l
eddown
mycheeks
Me:"
rat
hernott el
lwhatputy
ouhere,maybeI
'm
j
ustasselfi
shasy ouwere..
.all
Iwanttosayi
s
t
hatI'
m sorry
.I'
m notabadpersonandI
t
hought...arghwhatam Ievensay
ing"
Voice:
"beenst
ruggl
i
ngt
ogett
her
ightwor
ds
too"

Ialmostgotaheartatt
ackwhenIhear
dav
oice.
Iturnedsl
owly,
tofindShezi
standi
nga
dist
ancefrom me

Me:
"youscar
edme"
Hi
m:"
didn'
tmeant
o"
Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Hi
m:"
visi
tthegr
aveofcour
se"
Me:
"i
t'
ssur
real
"
Hi
m:"
Iknow.
..she'
sreal
l
ygone"

Wesati
nsi
l
encenotknowi
ngwhatt
odoorsay

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Liket
heyalway
ssay,i
t'
sonlyaft
ert
hebur
ial
wheny ouf
eelt
hereal
painandknowwho'sgot
yourbackandwhodoesn'
t.Wit
hevery
one
cont
inui
ngwi
tht
hei
rnor
mall
iv
esyetyouf
eel
l
onel
yandempty
.Deat
hisv
eryhar
dtoaccept

Ntombi didgot orehabandTsakaneandIget

al
ongwel l.IusedthemoneyTsaki gav
emet o
balanceandsecur emybusinessanditsnoty
et
promisingthatI'
ll
loseever
ythi
ngornot

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Wewalkedinthedarkt
ogether
.Iwaseagerto
gett
othecar.Iwonder
edifIwil
lbeabl
etolet
goofhi
shand
orthel
astt
ime.Wantedtogetitoverwi
th.
.I
tookafewstepsandsuddenl
yfeltsomeli
qui
d
fl
owingbet
ween
myt
highs.
..
Ist
opped.Hel
ookedatme

Hi
m:"
What
?"
Me:
"Idon’
tknow,
Ijustf
eltsomel
i
qui
dfl
owi
ng"

Isearchedmypocket s,l
ookingf
ormyphone
forbetterl
i
ght..
.Ihadlef
titi
nthecar
.Ashar
p
painwentt hr
ough
mybel
lyandIletoutascr
eam, l
osi
ngbal
ance
sl
i
ghtl
y.Hesupportedme,l
ight
inghi
sphone

Him:"
Yourwaterj
ustbr
oke".
..
(l
ooki
ngathis
phone)"
Fuck.
.Andthenet
workisbadhere"
Me:(pani
cki
ng)"What
??I
t’
sst
il
lear
ly.
..
Ihave4
weekstogo.
..or3andsomefewdaysrather
..
.I
t
can’
tbe"
Hi
m:"Thishappensokay
..
.I
t’
scall
edPPROM...
Pr
eterm Pr
e-l
abourRupt
ureOftheMembranes"
Me:
"Shi
t,i
thur
tsnow!
!"
Him:"
Iknow.
..
Iknow,
wegot
tagety
out
oa
hospi
tal
,Now!
!come"
Me:
(wi
nci
ngi
npai
n)"
Icanwal
k"
Him:(picki
ngmeup)
"Don’
tbecrazy
..
.Justdo
yourbreathi
ngt
hewayyouknowhowt o"

Anothershar
ppainpassedthroughandI
qui
cklyheldt
hecar,near
lyknockingof
fthe
mir
ror,hehurr
iedt
omeandcaughtme

Me:"
Ihav
eneverexperi
encedsuchshar
p
pai
n…Whati
shappening?"(
pani
cki
ng)"
Am I
l
osi
ngt
hebaby
?Ican’
t
l
osethebaby
…Thenallt
hepai
nwasinvai
n?
Whatwewentthr
ough?Thi
scan’
tbehappeni
ng,
i
tcan’
t"

(
struggli
ngtobreat
heasIhel
dmybabybump)
I
t’
st oosoon,andwearenotatahospi
tal
(
lookingdownatmy
bel
ly)"
Okaysweethear
t?…j
ust
,pl
ease,
don’
tdo
thi
s…Ican’
tlosey
ounow"

Hi
m:"
Heyi
t'
sokay
"
Me:
"i
thur
ts.I
'
mloosi
ngt
hebaby
"

Hewaspanicki
ngt
oobutcont
aini
ngi
t,hehel
d
mycheeksandmademefaceuptohi
m
Hi
m:"
Nooneisl
osinganybabyal
ri
ght
?
Ev
ery
thi
ngi
sokay…Ipromi
se"

Istart
edcry
ing,
mai nl
ybecauseIdidn’
tbeli
eve
him,Ifel
thi
shandst r
embli
ng,butthesecond
reasonwasthatithur
tli
kehell
…Ifeltl
i
keIwas
beingsawninhalfacr
ossmybel l
y

Him:"
Idon’thaveanyt
hinginthecar,
my
carr
ycaseisathome,youneedast eril
e
envi
ronment.Hesupportedme,openinghis
backdoor.Hepressedfortheseatstosli
de
backandhelpedtoplacemei nsi
de

Hi
m:"
Okay ,
li
sten…Ineedy
out
okeep
br
eat
hing…okay?"

Ir
eachedoutmyhandsandt
ri
edt
otakeof
fmy
pant
ies

Me:
"If
eel
pressur
e…Ineedt
opushShezi
…Ineed
t
oPush…"
Hi
m:"
No, wait
…Justwaital
ri
ght
…Okay
(
pani
cking)Okay…Shi
i
t,It
sbeensuchal
ong
t
imesinceIdid
t
his…Li
eback"

Il
aidonmyback.Hereachedoutandswit
ched
ontheli
ghtandhel
pedtotakemypanti
esoff
.
Helif
tedmy
dr
essandhadal
ook

Me:
"Whatdoy
ousee?Doy
ouseeany
thi
ng?
Whati
sit
?Tal
ktome"
Hi
m:"
Shh…Justr
elaxokay(
pushi
ngmet
oli
e
fl
at…)
…Tsaki
,Ineedy
out
oli
sten,
alr
ight
?…Don’
t
push"

Hedashedout
…

Me:"
Wherear
eyougoi
ng?(
holdi
ngmybel
l
y)
AAAH!OhmyGod…Thi
shurt
s"
Him:(
scr
eami
ngf
rom t
hecarboot
)"Don’
tpush
yet
"

Her
anbackwi
thhi
sgy
m bag

Me:
"I
thur
tssobad"
Him:
"Iknow,Iknowsweet
hear
tbutever
ything
i
sokayhmm?( l
ooki
ngatme)Justbeastrong
goodgir
land
hangi
nther
e.Iknowi
thur
ts,
butdon’
tpushy
et.
(Rampagingt
hroughhi
sgy
m bagi
npani
c)You
arenotyet
donewit
hyourcont
ract
ions….
Ify
oupushnow
youcansuf
focat
ethebaby…anditwi
l
lst
rai
n
youyoucanend
uprapt
ur i
ngyour
sel
fandbleedi
ng
out
….(l
ookingatme,sweat
ing)Ican’
thav
eyou
l
osi
ngbl oodandpassi
ng
out.Pl
easeokay
?( scr
eaming)Whythefuckdi
d
Iremovemymedi calbagf
rom thi
scar
!!
!"

°
°
°
°

Kemi
set
so
I'
vestart
edwi t
hchemoandIam f i
ghti
ngthi
s
cancerbattl
ewithall
Ican.I
t'
snoteasyto
acceptthatIhavetochangecer
tai
nthingsi
n
mylife

I
'vegotmymom, si
sterandJayforsupportand
I
'vealsoj
oinedt
hesuppor tgr
oup.I'
mt ry
ingnot
toseethi
sasadownf al
landcounsel
li
ngis
helpi
ngalot

°
°
°
°

Tsakane
Imergedmylipstogethertr
yingt
osuppressthe
pai
n,Imadeashr i
ek,holdi
ngmy sel
finposi
ti
on.
Idi
dn’twantt
omov esot hatIref
rai
nedfrom
pushi
ng…Hel ai
dtwoofhi sT.Shirt
sunderme
andtookouthisGyml ocker
keyswhichhadasmal lf
lashli
ght.Heplaced
hist
owel overhi
slef
tshoulder
,thenputhis
handsaniti
zeronhis
handsandr
ubbedt
hem

Me:
(thr
oughmyteet
h,hi
ssi
ngt
hrought
hem)
Thi
spaini
stoomuch

Hekneltonthebaseofthecar
,hol
dinghi
s
fl
ashl
i
ghtthroughhi
steethanddwell
edhi
s
headunderneat
hmy
dr
ess…If
elthi
mrubar
oundmywal
l
sand
checki
nghowf
aral
ongIwas

Hi
m:"
Thi
sbabyi
scomi
ng"
(unt
yinghi
sshoe)
Me:"Whatam Igoingtodo?Itcan’
tcomeri
ght
now( cr
ying)WhatifIl
osethi
sbaby?Ift
hebaby
arr
ives,
there
i
sn’tanyt
hingtotakecareofhi
m/her
.It’
s
prematur
e, pr
obablygoi
ngtoneedanincubat
or
ri
ghtaway…What
i
f"
Him:"
Hey…Hey
…It
sjusttwomi
nut
esandy
ou’
l
l
bereadyt
opushokay?"
Me:(cryi
ng, bi
ti
ngmyli
ps)No…(shaki
ngmy
head)IthinkIcanhol
don,whi
leyourunand
maket hatcall
…
al
one.
Weneedanambul
ance
Hi
m:Runni
ngbackther
eisgoi
ngtotakemor
e
t
han10minut
es,y
oudon’thav
ethatki
ndof
t
ime,
I
can’
t…(t
aki
ngadeepbreathandlooki
ngatme)
Angela,
Ican’
tlosey
ou,Youhavetodeli
vert
his
baby
saf
ely
…
Me:
"Justr
un,
Shezi
,yousai
dyoursel
f,i
t’
sbeen
al
ongtimesi
nceyou’
vedonethi
s"
Him:"
Lookatme…Hey( hol
dingmyhands,
I
l
ookedathi m,pant
ingandtryi
ngt
ostickt
othe
exer
cises)Iam
her
e…okay
?"
Me:"Idon’
texpecty
outodothi
s..Youdon’
towe
meany thi
ng,I’
veputy
outhr
oughenough…
Justgoget
hel
…AAHHHHHFuck!
!Thi
shur
ts"
Hi
m:I
’
m notgoi
ngany wher
e(t
ighteni
nghisgri
p
onmyhandsaf
terchecki
nghi
st i
me)Alr
ight?
"
Il
ookedathim andnodded.Hefel
tthe
cont
ract
ionagainandlookedatme

Hi
m:"
Youaregoi
ngtohavetopush…Andthi
s
t
imeyouwon’
thaveachancet
oholditi
n"

Inodded

Him:"
Takeadeepbreath(
Iobey
ed,hetookhi
s
deepbreat
htoobefor
eburyi
nghishead
under
neathmydress)
Okay
..
push"

Ipushed…t
ryi
ngt
ogetr
idoft
hepr
essur
e

Hi
m:"
Okayr
est
"
Hecount
edto5andi nst
ruct
edmet opush
whi
lehecount
edto10now. .
.Ir
epeat
edthe
pr
ocessagai
n,hol
ding
ontomyknees…Iwasal
readysweat
ingand
cryi
ng,
itwasal
lsuchamess.Iwassoscared
formybabyandif
hewoul
dmakei
t

Him:"
Okay,herei
sthehead…Gi
vemeonegiant
pushtogettheseshoul
der
soutokaymyl
ove?"

Ihungmyheadback,
soexhaust
ed.Ifel
tli
keI
coul
dn’
tpushany
more…Ihadnoenergy

Him:"Okay
(Il
ookedathi
m)Wor
kwi
thme
here…Onebigpushokay
?"
Inoddedandpushedashar dasIcoul
d.
Holdi
nginmybreath.Ipushedandpushedand
aft
eraminuteIf
elt
r
eli
eved…Il
aidmyheadont
heseat

Me:
"(
pant
ing)I
sthebabyokay
?"

Hewasquiet.Il
i
ftedmyheadandhewas
wr
appingthebabywit
hthetowel
,hest
art
ed
wi
pingthebaby’
s
f
ace

Me:"Nocri
es,Idon’
thearanycr
ies…whycan’
tI
hearanycri
es?"

Hepl
acedthebabyontheseatanddashedt
o
t
hefr
ontdoorwit
houtsayi
nganythi
ngtome,he
gr
abbedt
he
strawoutofacanofr
edbullont
hecanhol
der
thencameback.Iwastr
yingt
oholdt
hebaby
butIfel
tno
ener
gy

Heplacedthestrawinsi
dethebaby’
snostr
il
s
andsucked.Icouldn’
tseecl
ear
lybutIsawa
browni
shliqui
d
bei
ngsuckedthr
ought hestr
awashesucked,
herepeat
edtheprocedureonthel
eftnost
ri
l.I
heardagurgl
i
ng
soundandt
hebabytooki
nashar
pbr
eat
hthen
star
tedt
ocool
ight
ly

Hi
m:"(
looki
ngatme)It’
saboy
..
.Socol
dthough,
t
hist
owel i
sn’
tenough…Ar
eyouokay?
"
Me:
"(
exhal
i
ng)Oh…ThankGod…Justmakesur
e
hei
sokay
.Iwi
l
lbef
ine"
Him:"
(pl
aci
ngt
hebabyont
heseat
)Igot
tat
ie
yourcor
dandcuti
t"

Hequicklyt
ookouthi
sshoel
aceandtied
aroundthecor
dthenundi
dhi
dothershoeand
ti
edasecondsecti
on
ont
hecor
dthencuti
t

Hi
m:"(
looki
ngatme)It’
saboy
..
.Socol
dthough,
t
hist
owel i
sn’
tenough…Ar
eyouokay?
"
Me:
"(
exhal
ing)Oh…ThankGod…Justmakesur
e
hei
sokay.Iwil
lbefi
ne"
Him:"
(pl
aci
ngt
hebabyont
heseat
)Igot
tat
ie
yourcor
dandcuti
t"

Hequi
ckl
ytookouthi
sshoel
aceandt
ied
aroundt
hecor
dt henundi
dhi
dot
hershoeand
ti
edasecondsecti
on
onthecordt
hencutiti
nbet
weenhislaces…I
fel
tli
keIwassuf
focati
ngal
lofasudden

Him:"
Shi
t…Ineedt
ogethel
p,y
ouar
ebl
eedi
ng
out"
Me:
"If
eel
dizz
y"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
en’
tdel
i
ver
edt
hepl
acent
ayet
…Ther
e
i
ssomuchbl
ood"

Hedwel
l
edunder
neat
hmydr
essagai
n

Hi
m:"
Shi
t…Shi
t…shi
t"
Me:
"(
noener
gy)What
?"
Hi
m:"
Youarel
osi
ngblood…Ihav
etogetyou
t
wooutofher
e…I
’m goi
ngtogethel
pokay?
"
Il
aidmyheadback,inthenextsecondhewas
gone…Icoul
dverydi
sti
nctl
yhearthebaby
cry
ingali
ttl
ebit
,hewasweak, Icoul
dhearf
rom
hi
scries,
butIcoul
dn’
tgetuproom theseat
now…Ifel
tnumb…thenpassedout

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I
'
m sobadatendi
ngt
hings
I
FTHECROWNFI
TS

I
nser
t70

Tsakane

Iwokeupt
othesoundofbeepi
ngmachi
nes.I
fel
tabitdr
owsybutImanagedt oopenmyeyes.
Anursewasbusyattendi
ngtome.Shesmil
ed
assoonasshereal
isesthatIwasawake

Nur
se:
"Oh,
youar
eawake"
Me:
"Mybaby
…MyBaby
"
Nurse:
"Hei
sokay…Hewastested,everyt
hingi
s
fi
ne,hewon’
tneedani
ncubator.Ever
ythi
ngis
good,hei
s
dev
eloped"
Me:
"Howl
onghav
eIbeenout
?"
Nurse:
"Si
ncel
astnight,
itsnowpast7pm…Your
pl
acentawasdel
ivered,youar
eallgood,
except
i
tsgoingto
hur
t,y
ouhav
est
it
ches"
Me:
"(
clear
ingmyt
hroat
)Myhospi
tal
bag"
Nur
se:
"Doct
orShezi
broughti
t,Hei
sther
ewi
th
hi
mtoget
herwi
thy
ourhusband"
Me:
"Okay
"
Nur
se:
"howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"
Me:
"Muchbet
tert
hanks"
Nurse:
"Okay
,yourv
ital
sar
egood…I
’
llgot
ell
the
docyouareawake"
Me:
"(
noddi
ng)Thanks"
Nur
se:
"Hehassomethi
ngtosi
gnoffinfi
rst
,so
t
hatwecanbri
ngthecuti
etot
hisf
loor"

Inodded,
shesmi l
edandlef
t.
Assoonasshe
did,t
hedooropenedagai
nandsomeone
walked

°
°
°
°

Ni
co

Seeki
ngmyboyforthefi
rstti
mer eall
ywar med
myheart
.Il
ookedattheti
nyhandsandf eet
wit
hsomuchjoyinmyhear tthenIturnedto
Shezi

Me:"
Idon'tknowwhatwoul
dhav
ehappenedi
f
youweren'tt
herebr
uuh"
Hi
m:"
let
'snott
hinksoft
hewor
st"
Me:
"yesofcour
se.
..uhm .
..t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
itwasapl
easur
etodel
i
ver
"
Me:
I'
m soj
eal
ous"
Hi
m:"
lol
why
?"
Me:
"becauseIt
houghtIwoul
dbet
her
eont
he
dayTsakanedel
i
ver
swear
inghospi
tal
scr
ubs
andall
"
Him:
"hol
dingherhandsandl
ett
ingherswearat
you?
"
Me:
"exact
ly"
:"
bet
terl
ucknextt
ime"

Afewminutesl
ater
,Iwasabl
etoseeher
.Her
headwasrest
edgentl
yonthepi
ll
owandIhad
somemixedberr
ieswit
hme

Me:
"youl
ookexhaust
ed"
Her
:"
Iam"
Me:
"sohav
eyout
houghtofanot
hernamey
et"
Her
:"
noy
ounamehi
m,i
twassi
l
lyofme"
Me:
"wel
lI'
vebeent
hinki
ngofNy
ikoAden"
Her:
"t
hatshoul
ddo.Fat
herwoul
dbehappyt
o
heart
hat"
Me:"
I'
m gl
adwegetal
ongTsakane,
toobadwe
hadtodiv
orceand.
..
"

WhenIlookedathershewasfastasleep.I
ki
ssedherfor
eheadtheil
lnev
erforgetthatI
l
ostagoodwomani nher

°
°
°
°

Tsakane

Isti
l
lremembert hefir
stti
meIheldmybabyf or
thefi
rstti
me,itwasapr i
celessmomentIcan'
t
compar etoanyt
hing.Idi
dn'tknowt
hatyou
coul
dlovesomeone'swhol
ehear
tedl
ywi
thi
na
fewsecondsofknowingt
hem

ButnowIreall
ywantedabr eakfrom himI
swear,
Ny i
koistr
ouble,tr
oubleIsay,he'sjust4
andalr
eadyhashadhi slegandar m broken.He
al
mostgotburntandhi sdaycareprincipalhas
l
aidalotofcomplai
ntsabouthim. ..
nott
osaythatI
'
m negl
ecti
nghim ornott
aking
goodcar
ebuthe'sar
ascalandal
way sfi
ndshis
waytotr
oubl
e

Hei squitebri
l
li
antandintel
l
igentthough.I
fi
nishedpackinghisbagandwentl ookingf
or
him al
l overt
hehouse,hepeepedf rom i
nsi
de
thefri
dge.Iyankedhim outandplacedhim on
thekitchencounter
Me:
"whatdidIsayabouthi
dingi
nsi
ghtt
he
r
efr
iger
ator
?"
Hi
m:"
yousai
dI'
ddi
e"
Me:
"doy
ouwantt
odi
e?"
Hi
m:"
no"
Me:
"sowhatwer
eyoudoi
ngi
nsi
de?
"
Hi
m:"
Iwashi
ding"

Il
ookedathi
shel
plessl
y,Ni
cocamei
n

Ni
co:
"knockknock"
Ny
iko:
"daddy
"
Ni
co:
"mybadboy
"
Me:
"cany
out
wogoal
ready
,Iwantt
orest
"

Ni
cocamet
oki
ssmycheekandwesatdown
ont
hest
ool
s

Ni
co:
"t
hatbad?
"
Me:
"wor
se"
Ny
iko:
"I
'l
lgr
abmybag"

Hejumpedandranupst
air
swhi
l
eIl
ookedat
Ni
cowhosmi l
edatme

Me:
"somet
hingt
odr
ink?
"
Hi
m:"
not
hanks,
I'
m good"
Me:
"yourson"
Hi
m:"
yourson"
Me:
"I'
m ser
iousShanduy
ouspoi
lhi
mtoo
much"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
t"
Me:
"Iwi
shIwast
heonev
isi
ti
nghi
mfr
om t
ime
t
oti
me"
Hi
m:"
don'
twor
ryhe'
l
lgr
ow"
Me:
"mx
m..
.sayhi
toKemmy
"
Hi
m:"
lol
Iwi
l
l"

Nyikocamedownandl ef
twithhi
sfatherandI
couldfeelthef r
eshai
rIneeded.Ir
ushed
upstai
rs,hadabubbl ebathandwaitedforShezi
i
nmynewl ingeri
e

°
°
°
°

Ni
co
IwenttofetchKemmy ,myfi
anceandweall
wenttothemal l.Thosetwoal
mostboughtt
he
wholemall,
t heygotalongsowell
you'
dswear
theywerecutf r
om thesameclot
h

Yes,Kemi
set
soandIstarteddat
ingt
woy ear
s
agowitht
heblessi
ngofTsakaneofcourse,I
don'
tcompar
ehert ot
hetwinsoranyt
hingand
she'
swonder
fulwit
hNy i
ko

Inolongerhaveawonder i
ngeyeandIam l
oy al
asasoldier
,Kemmymakesmehappyandshe
andTsakaneal sogetal
ong.Iam backt
obeing
abil
l
ionerafterKemmyandIpul l
edallt
hehard
work

°
°
°
°

Bonang

Myr elati
onshi
pwi t
hmymot heri
scomi ng
together,ussupport
ingKemisetsomadeus
evencl oser
.Wehav esomanygi r l
'
snighti
njust
thefourofus(whenev erKemisetsoisn'
twi
th
herfiance)

Kemmyhasbeenblessed,
aft
erhercancer
bat
tle,
shei
sst
il
lst
andingstr
ongandI'm pr
oud
ofher

Myl
i
fei
ssuccessf
ulcar
eewi
sebutI
'
m st
il
l
si
ngl
eascanbe.Bet
terl
ucknextt
ime

°
°
°
°

Khensane

I
'm st
il
lal
i
veandkicki
ng,
I'
m di
ehardremember?
Noonecandownloadnothi
ngabouti
t..
..nono
I
'mjustmessi
ngwithYal
l she'
sdead

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
THEEND.

Iknowi t
'snotwhatYal lexpectedbutI'
mv er
y
si
ckxem . ..butgoodnewsi sthatev
enifI'
ma
bitoutoftheweat her
,there'
llbeanewst ory
Monday .Beingawayf r
om y ouguy swil
ldri
ve
mecr azy
Agai
n,thanky
ouf
oral
lthel
oveandsuppor
t
you'
veshownme Mow