\ \ HOC QUOC GIA HA NOI

HOC KHOA HOC XA HOI VA NHAN VAN

G T .0 0 0 0 0 2 3 8 6 6
.TS. T ra n Thi M inh DQc

t u in h

THAM VAN
TAM LY
PHONG T H A M VAN

221 NHA XUAT BAN DAI HOC QUOC GIA HA N0I

 g i A o tr in h

THAM VAN TAM LI

 DAI H O C Q U O C G IA HA NQI
TRUONG DAI HOC KIIOA HOC XA HQl VA NHAN VAN
GS.TS. TRAN THI MINH DlTC

Giao trinh

THAM VAN TAM LI

(Tai ban lan thur 2 co chinh sua bo sung)

NHA XU A T BAN DAI HOC QUOC G IA HA NOI

 LCJI mcj d a u

T j o n g k h o a n g mufti nam lai day, toe dQ phat trien kinh te - xa

hQi q u a n h a n h d V i?t N am da keo theo nhuTig th a y doi va xao
trpn ta m li cua nhi'eu ngtfefi, lam tang cao nhu cau v'e dich vu
th a m va n ta m li cua xa hQi. Dieu nay the hi?n a sir ra d&i va phat
trien da d an g cua nhi'eu trung tam th am van, p h o n g th a m va n tai
cac CQng dong, b£nh vi£n va cac trtfcfng hQC vc/i cac dich v y trQ
giu p ta m 11 k h a c nhau.
Hi£n nay, du N h a nUcfc chtfa cap m a so cho ngh'e trQ giup tam
li, n h im g vi th e cua cac nha th am vain, tri li£u tam li d an g ngay
cang dtfQc k h a n g dinh trong xa h Q i . V i v a y vai tro cua cac nha tam
li hQC tr o n g vi?c dao tao sinh vien ch uyen n g a n h Lam san g va
T h a m va n n g a y can g dtfQc cung co va nang cao.
G ia o trin h T ham van tam U nay nhin nhan th a m van nhir
mQt n g a n h k h o a hQC im g d ung trong thtfc h a n h ch am soc tam li
con ngufti, dtfQc trinh b a y trong 8 chirong. T ro n g do, 3 chirong
dau la m ro tinh chat kh oa hQC cua m on T h a m va n thtfc hanh. Cac
kh ai ni£m nhir: trQ g iu p tam li, tit van, th a m van v a tri li£u tam li,
cu n g nhir rniic tieu, nhi?m vu ditQc dua vao n g a y tro n g ch u o n g I.
C hirong II trin h b a y mQt cach khai quat qua trinh h in h th a n h va
p hat trien n g a n h T h a m van tren the gi6i va 0 Vi£t N a m , s u giao
th o a cua no vo’i mQt so nganh trQ giup lan can nhir T a m li hQC,
C o n g tac xa hQi, T a m than Ii q c . Phan gicri th i?u mQt so q uan diem
tiep can th a n chii trong thtfc hanh th am k h a m ta m li con ngtfdi
dtfQc th e hit?n tro n g c h u o n g III.
ViQC x a y dtfng m oi quan h£ th am van dtfa tren n'en ta n g cua
sir ton tr g n g va tin ttfOng lan nhau gitfa nha th a m v a n va th an chu
tro n g thtfc h a n h ngh'e dtfQc khai quat trong chtfOng IV. Nc?i d un g
chtfOng n a y se giu p ngtfdi h(?c co q u a n ni£m d u n g d^n v'e than
chu va nan de cua th a n chu; giup ngtfcri hQC htfcfng den each nhin
ch uyen n g h iep ve nha th a m van vcfi n h im g p h a m ch at v a n a n g lire
trong thtfc h a n h ngh'e.
De g iu p ngtfeft hQC nang cao kh a n a n g thtfc h a n h ngh'e, euon
Tham van tam U gicri thi£u nhtfng khia canh dao due v a p h a p li
tro n g thtfc h a n h ca (chtfOng V), htfcmg dan m o t so ki n a n g th a m
va n can b a n (chtfOng VI) va q u y trinh th a m v a n (chtfOng V II). V a
cuoi cung, de cu n g co nhtfng tri thirc tiep th u dtfQc q u a m oi
chtfOng, c h u n g toi x a y dtfng cac b ai tap tin h h u o n g tr o n g thtfc
h a n h th a m v a n ta m li. D ieu n a y th e hi£n tr o n g chtfOng V III.
G ia o trin h n a y dtfQc ch u a n bi tro n g nhi'eu n a m . C a c noi d u n g
ch inh d a dtfQc dtfa va o g ian g d ay cho sinh v ie n dtf6i d a n g bai
g ian g b a t d au tir k h o a h o c 19 9 7 - 1998 v a dtfQc ch in h stfa, n a n g
cap q u a m o i k h o a h oc. V i vay, h'au nhtf cac tri th u c can b a n tr o n g
tai lieu n a y deu it nhi'eu q u e n thu<?c v 6 i sinh v ien cac th e h£
n g a n h T a m li h oc, th u o c Trtfcmg Dai h o c K h o a h o c X a h o i v a
N h a n v a n Dai h o c Q u o c gia H a Noi.
C o th e giao trin h v a n con nhi'eu dieu phai b a n lu a n v a bo
sung. N htfng, xet tr o n g h o a n canh giang d ay ta m li h o c thtfc h a n h
d Vi<?t N a m h ien nay, vi£c ra ddi cua cac tai li£u lien q u a n den
th a m v a n v a tri li£u ta m li la h et sire can thiet. N o k h o n g chi cho
nhtfng ngtfdi thtfc h a n h th a m van, cac g ia n g v ien v a sin h vien
n g a n h T a m li hoc, m a con co ich cho nhtfng ngtfdi h o a t d o n g
tro n g cac n g a n h trQ g iu p khac, nhtf C on g tac xa hoi, G ia o d ue hoc,
T a m th a n hoc.
T a c gia xin ch an th a n h cam On nhtfng d o n g gop q u y b a u cua
cac q u y vi v a cac b a n de cu on sach dtfQc h o a n thi£n h o n sau nay.

fT' * • ’
Tac gia
 MUC
• LUC
•

Trang
Lori md d a u .............................................................................. 5

Chirofng 1
THAM VAN TAM LI LA MOT KHOA HQC LfNG DIJNG..... 9
I. Cac khai nipm...................................................................................... 10
II. Moi lien he ngh'e nghiep trong cac nganh trQ giup...................... 22
III. Doi tirqng, muc dich, nhi?m vu va hi?u qua cua tham v a n ....... 29
IV. Cac hinh thurc tham van..................................................................... 41
Chirang 2
SO LU Q C LICH SIT HiNH THANH V A PHAT TRIEN
n g A n h t h a m v A n t A m l i .......................................................... 59
I. Anh hudng cua mQt so nganh trgf giup den nganh tham van
chuyen nghiep..................................................................................... 60
II. Sir ra ddi cua nganh tham van tren the g id i ................................. 63
III. Diem qua vai net ve hoat dong tham van 0 Viet N a m ................ 74
Chircmg 3
CAC LI TH U Y E T TIEP CAN CA NHAN
TRONG THAJNI V A N TAM L I ................................................. 11?
I. Mot so li thuyet tam li hpc nen tang............................................... ng
II. Mot so phiro'ng phap tiep can than chu trong tham v a n ...........
ChiM ng 4
NH A THAJNI V A N VA THAN CHU
TRONG MOI QUAN HE THAM VAN TAM L I ...................... l8l
I. Nha tham van la con ngtfcri can bang............................................. l8 l
II. Nha tham van la ngudi hanh nghe chuyen nghiep..................... 1gy
III. Than chu va nan de cua than c h u .................................................. 204
IV. Moi quan h£ tham v a n ...................................................................... 226

Chtrcmg 5
DAO DLTC TRO N G THAM VAN TAM L I...................................... 237
I. Moi quan he giu'a luat phap va quy dieu dao du'c trong tham van.. 238
II. M$t so nguyen tac dao du'c co b a n ................................................. 243
III. Gio'i thi?u cac tieu chuan dao du'c trong nganh tham v a n ......... 251
IV. Chimg chi hanh nghe tham van....................................................... ,
Chirotag 6
K Y n A n g T H A M V A N t A m L I ....................................................... 271
I. KI nang lang nghe............................................................................ 274
II. KI nang dat cau h o i.......................................................................... 285
III. K3 nang thau h ieu ............................................................................ 300
IV. KI nang phan hoi............................................................................... 3°9
V. / KI nang diin giai............................................................................... 320
VI. KI nang xirli s y im la n g .................................................................. 324
VII. KI nang thong d at............................................................................. 332
VIII. KI nang cung cap thong tin............................................................. 340
IX. K3 nang b§c 1q ban than................................................................... 345
X. KI nang duong d au ............................................................................ 349
C hu'tfn g 7
Q U Y T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M L 1................................................... 355
I. Cac mo hinh tham v a n ...................................................................... 355
II. Lap ho so danh gia ban d au ............................................................. 375
III. Htfdng dan thuc hi£n ke hoach xir l i .............................................. 377
IV. Phan tich s\rbien doi tam li trong qua trinh tham van/tri li£u. 380
V. Cong tac giam sat trong tham v a n .................................................. 384
C h iftm g 8
L U Y E N T H V C H A N H T H A M V A N T A M L I ............................... 395
I. Hinh anh ban than vdi tu cach la mot ca nhan
va mot nha tham v a n .......................................................................... 395
II. Dao du'c nghe n gh iep .......................................................................... 411
III. KI nang tham v a n ................................................................................ 416
IV. Phan tich moi quan h? giira nhan thu"c - xuc cam - hanh v i ...... 439
V. Hoat dong tham van........................................................................... 445
 /

CHtTONG 1

THAM VAN TAM U

LA MOT KHOA HOC UNG DUNG

Cau hoi: Can bao nhieu nha tam li hoc de co the

chuyen dcfi mot cu hanh?
Trd Idi: Chi can mot ngitdi, nhung cu hanh phai thiXc
sit muon di chuyen.
Cau truyen vui tren phan anh triet li cua sit thay do'i
trong tham van tam li la: Bat cu: thay doi nao dien ra
trong cuoc ddi ban phai bat dau tit ban v&i nhitng co gang
cua chinh ban. Nha tam li hoc co the hit&ng dan ban vitcft
qua nhitng nan de cua ban, nhitng khong ai co the lam
thay ban.

(Raymond Lloyd Richmond)

T rong chirong mQt, hoat d<?ng tham van tam li dirgfc nhin nhan
nhir mQt nganh kh oa hQC img dyng. Chung toi se phan biet cac khai
ni?m gan gui vcri tham van, nhir trQ giup tam li, tham van tam li, tir
van va tri li£u tam li. Cung vc/i cac khai ni£m nay chung toi se trinh
b ay m oi quan h<? gifra cac n ganh trQ giup, nhiT: T a m li hQC, Th am
van, C ong tac xa h(?i va T am than hQC de ngirdi hQC th ay diTQc ranh
gidi giira cac kh oa hQC co chung mQt hoat dQng trQ giup ta m li con
ngircri. Do th a m van tam li la mQt khoa hQC va mQt nghe, nen viec
xac djnh m y c dich va nhi?m \ai cua no la het sure can thiet. Cuon
“ Tham van tam I f nay ditQc trinh bay dircri goc do th a m van ca
nhan, \i vay \iec gio’i thi?u so b<? ve tham van n hom va th am van gia
dinh, theo ch u n g toi, la can thiet trong chiTQng nay.
10 GI A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M II

i. cAc kh Ai n ie m

C uqc s o n g lu o n lu o n d at ra nhtfng k h o kh an, th ach thu"c bu<?c

con ngtfdi p hai dtfOng dau. V d i nhi'eu ngtfdi, ho co the de d a n g
h o a c v a t va ttf \arQt qua nhtfng k h o k h a n m a k h o n g can tcri sir trQ
giup cua ngtfdi khac. Nhtfng co k h o n g it ngtfdi da k h o n g t u lam
dtfQc dieu nay, hQ can mQt stf trQ giup m a n g tinh k h o a h o c va
ch uyen n gh iep de co the vUQt qua dUQc nhtfng k h o k h a n cua minh.
T ro n g trtfdng hQp k h o n g quan tam den stf g iu p d o b en ngoai, ca
nhan co the ttf h u y hoai b an than va ngu di k h a c de co dUQc mQt
cuqc son g h a n h p h u c hQn. T h a m van tam li ra ddi ch inh la de giup
d o cac ca nhan, n h o m ngtfdi theo cach nay h a y cach kh ac, co dUQc
mQt cuqc song h a n h p h u c hon . Trtfdc khi b an v'e th a m v a n vd i t u
cach la mQt k h o a hQC, co mQt so th u at ngtf th tfd n g d u n g g'an vdi
khai niem th a m va n can dUQc lam san g to.

l. TrQ giup tam li1

Mpt so ngirdi co nhirng tir
TrQ g iu p la mQt kh ai n ie m ch u n g
chat “bam sinh” de lam
n hat, dUQc d u n g tro n g cac m oi q uan tham van. Mot so khac
he giao tiep deft thucrng, theo cach khong the trd thanh nha
"giup n hau " - ai do giu p ai do. Dac
tham van tot dii da qua
biet, kh ai n ie m dUQc sir d u n g nhi'eu nhi'eu khoa dao tao. Hau het
tro n g cac linh vUc h oa t d on g thuc
chung ta dang a dau do giua
h a n h nhir ta m li hQC, co n g tac xa hQi,
nhimg ngudi nay. Chung ta
th a m v an , ta m th a n hQC. Khai niem
bat dau tham van vdi vo so !
"trQ giu p " to n tai tir khi xuat hien xa
thoi quen tot va xau. Vi \ a\- ^
hQi loai ngucfi v a h o a t dQng trQ giup chung ta phai duqc dao tao
n a y co trUcfc khi cac n g a n h k h o a hQC
va thudng xuyen nghien ciru
trQ giup ra deft. N htfng hien tUQng
cac nguyen tac chung ma
lien ke t giiJa con ngtfeft v6 i n hau nhir: mpt nha tham van can phai
"La la n h d u m la rach", "Ciru m ang",
lam va co le quan trQng hern
"H o trQ"... k h o n g d o n thu'an chi noi la nhimg gi khong nen lair,
den k h ia ca n h giu p d o vat chat, m a trong tham van.
d an g sau c h u n g con ch u a d im g y

1Jill Taylor va Sheelagh Stewart - Tai li£u tap huan, (Trich tir: Bao life tinh due va
bao lire gia dinh: Nhimg ho trgf, phuc hoi va hanh dong a Zimbabe).
 C H U O N G I: T h a m van t am If la mo t khoa hoc ufng dung 11

nghia "n an g d a tinh than". T ron g khi do, n h im g khai niem nhtf
"Cho ldi k h u yen ", "Chia se tam tinh", "Cam thong"... hoan toan
phan anh stf giu p d o tam li cho ngtfdi co nhu cau dtfQc trQ giup.
Phan nay tap tru n g noi v'e sit trQ giup tam li (H elp Pchychology),
vi vay co nhi'eu cho chung toi chi d un g th u at ngtf "TrQ giup"
nhung no dtfQc hieu theo khia canh la trgf giup tinh than, ma
khong de cap d en khia canh trQ giup vat chat.
TrQ giup tam li, co the hieu mQt cach don gian, la mQt hoat
dQng (mQt cong viec) giup dd cho ngtfdi dang co kho khan tam li
de hQ thtfc hien dtfQc dieu hQ mong muon trong cuqc song. Khai
niem trQ giup tam li bao ham nhtfng cong viec cua ngtfdi giup do
khong chuyen - tat ca mQi ngtfdi, va cong viec giup dd cua nhtfng
ngudi chuyen nghiep - cong viec cua cac nha tam li hQC, nha tham
van, nhan vien cong tac xa hQi, bac si tam than, nha giao due...
Nhtf vay, tir viec ngtfdi nhi'eu tuoi bao ngtfdi it tuoi, ngtfdi co kinh
nghiem bao ngtfdi chtfa co kinh nghiem, cha m e bao ban con cai, dac
biet, nhtfng gia lang, trtfdng ban, thay lang, thay thuoc, thay cung,
th'ay tu, th'ay giao den cac nha tam li hQC, cac chuyen vien ttf van hanh
ngh'e tai cac cO sd deu la nhtfng ngtfdi lam cong viec trQ giup ngtfdi
khac, bang cac cach khac nhau nhtf cho ldi khuyen, ran day, ttf vain,
tham van va tri lieu. Vdi cach hieu nhtf vay, trong xa hQi co rat nhi'eu
kieu ngtfdi dang lam cong tac trQ giup va mire dQ hieu qua giup dtfQc
ciia hQ la khong giong nhau. Trong xa hQi co ba loai trQ giup ttfOng
ting vdi ba kieu ngtfdi trQ giup:
-N g it& i tr'o' g iu p chuyen nghiep {p rofession al helper): Do la
nhtfng ngtfdi dtfQc dao tao sau va chuyen biet ve nhtfng kien thtic,
ki nang tam li, h a n h vi con ngtfdi, ki nang giao tiep va giai quyet
cac van de theo ch uyen nganh ciia hQ de co the dap ting vdi ddi
ttfQng m a hQ g iu p dd, nhtf ngtfdi lam ngh'e tam li hQC, th a m van,
cong tac xa hQi, tam than hQC... Cac nganh trQ giup ch uyen nghiep
nay p han anh nhtfng m oi quan he trQ giup khac nhau, nhtf moi
quan he gitfa th a y th u oc - b enh nhan, nha th a m van - than
chii/khach hang, can stf xa hQi - ddi ttfQng/than chu, nha tri lieu
tam li - than ch ii/b enh nhan. Hau het nhtfng ngtfdi trQ giup
ch uyen n gh iep deu co m oi quan he trQ giup chinh thtic. Dd la moi
12 G I A O T RI NH T H A M V A N T A M LI

quan he cong viec vdi h a p dong thoa th u an ro rang ve nhu cau va

hieu qua cua sir giu p dd, trong do xac dinh ro vai tro v a vi tri cua
ngtfdi trQ giup va cua than chu. Nhin ch ung ngtfdi trQ giu p chuyen
nghiep thtfdng co c h u t d anh cu the, nhir nha ta m li, nha th a m van
hay nhan vien cong tac xa hQi.
- N g if& i trgr giu p ban chuyen n ghiep (p a r a p r o fe ssio n a l
h elp er): Do la n h im g ngtfdi co cong viec lien q u a n den linh vtfc trQ
giup. Hq co the dtfQc dao tao, tap huan ngan han v'e cac linh vtfc
trQ giup, h oac co kinh nghiem tu" moi quan he trQ giup. V i du, quan
he gitfa can b<? hoa giai xa - ngtfdi dan; giao vien - hQC sinh, hieu
trtfdng - giao vien; giam doc - nhan vien, cha m e - con cai; ch a linh
m uc - con chien. D ay la nhtfng n h o m doi ttfQng giu p d d thtfdng
xuyen cua hQ.
- N g u ’cfi trey g iu p khon g chu yen n g h iep ( n o n -p r o fe s sio n a l
helper): Dd la nhtfng ngtfdi k h on g qua dao tao, h u a n lu y e n chinh
thtfc v'e cac ki n a n g trQ giup chuyen biet. Stf trQ g iu p cu a hQ co the
chi xay ra nhat thdi trong moi quan he ta m th d i vd i doi ttfQng cua
hQ. Vi du, nhan vien b an hang, tiep tan, tiep vien h a n g k h o n g vdi
kh ach hang, cac tinh ngu yen vien cQng d o n g g iu p d d cac ddi
ttfQng bi anh htfdng b d i H IV / AIDS, n ghien m a tuy; sinh v ien den
cac T ru n g tam b ao trQ xa hQi day va n h o a ch o tre e m co h oa n
canh dac biet kh o kh an hoac to chtfc cac h o a t d $ng v u i chQi giai
tri cho cac chau; h a y bat ctf ai co nhu cau giu p d d ngtfdi k h a c khi
gap kh o khan. N h in chung, ngtfdi trQ giu p k h o n g c h u y e n n g h iep
thtfdng co m oi q uan he trQ giup k h o n g chinh thtfc, ke t cau trQ
giup lon g leo, th di gian ngkn va hieu qua giup dd co gidi han.
R obert C a r k h u ff phat hien th ay trong xa hQi nhin chun°- cac
ca n h an nh an dtfQc stf giup d d cua nhtfng ngtfdi th a m van khong
ch uyen (ngtfdi giu p dd nghiep dtf) rat nhi'eu so vdi sir giup dd cua
ngtfdi ch u yen nghiep. V d i nhtfng ngtfdi n g h iep dir. sir giup dd cua
hQ th tfdng xuat phat tu1 tam lon g nhan ai, sir chan thanh. tinh
thien va kinh n g h iem song, hQ co nhu cau g iu p dd cho nhtfn^
ngtfdi co k h o kh a n , co ton thtfQng tam li son g q u a n h Iiq. X z a v ca
khi stf giu p d d co tinh vu lQi ca nhan, nhtf g iu p dd de dir<;c noi
tieng, dtfQc m a n g Qn, giup dd de con ch au m in h sau nay duQc
C H U O N G I: T h a m van t am If la mo t khoa hoc ting dung 13

p h u c Iqc, thi nhin chung, hieu qua giup dd cua nhtfng ngtfdi
k h o n g ch u y en tro n g xa hQi la rat ldn va co y nghla nhan van, dang
dtfQc kh ich 1<?.
C u n g vdi stf phat trien cua xa hQi va stf phan hoa ngh'e nghiep
d mu’c dQ cao, hinh thtfc giup dd ve tinh than dtfQc phat trien len
mQt btfdc mdi: xa hQi can co nhtfng chuyen gia th am van, tri lieu
ch uyen nghiep. K hoa hQC tam li ra ddi lam xuat hien cac loai hinh
th am va n k h a c nhau va lam hoan thien he th ong li thuyet giup dd
can ban. N g a y nay, khai niem trQ giup con dtfQc hieu la stf giup dd
mQt cach co he thong va co phtfOng phap. Ngtfdi giup dd chuyen
nghiep can co ki nang va pham cach lam cho ngtfdi co nhu cau
giup d d ttf giai quyet van de cua m inh b an g cach tim hieu, kham
p ha va h a n h d(mg. N htf vay, chuyen gia trQ giup co the la nha tam
li, nha th a m vain, n h an vien cong tac xa hQi, bac si tam than, cac
linh m uc... N gtfdi/nh om ngtfdi dtfQc trQ giup t h u ’vng dtfQc gQi la
than chu, k h a ch h a n g h oac benh nhan, hoac co the la bat cu" ddi
ttfQng nao tron g xa hQi tir tre nho den ngtfdi gia.

2. Tit van
O V ie t N a m : v iec cu ng cap th ong tin, cho ldi kh u yen , trQ giup
nhtfng k h o k h ^ ta m li, chi bao h a y htfdng dan... cho mQt ca
nhan, h o a c mQt to chirc, khi hQ co nhu cau thtfdng gQi la ttf van.
T h u a t ngtf Ttf v a n (C onsultation) h a y T h a m v a n (C ounseling)
tr o n g tir dien tie n g V ie t hien nay deu dtfQc dich la Ttf van. Dd la
stf “D o n g g o p y kien ve n h itn g van de d ito'c h o i den, n h itn g
k h o n g c6 q u y en q u y e t d in h ”1.
T h e o tai lieu ciia To chirc Lao dQng Q u o c te I.L.O, ttf van la
mQt dich vu cho ldi k h u y en theo hQp d ong va p h u c vu cho cac to
chirc b d i nhtfng ngtfdi co du trinh dQ ch uyen m o n va dtfQc dao tao
dac biet de giu p d d mQt cach k h ach quan va dQc lap vd i to chirc
k h a c h h a n g 2. H oac, b an se lam ttf va n khi nao b an d a n g co gang
th a y doi h o a c cai tien mQt tinh h u on g , n h im g k h o n g trtfc tiep dieu
k h ie n viec thtfc hien. Phan ldn nhtfng ngtfdi trong vai tro p hu ta d

1 Hoang Phe, Tit dien Tichg Viet, NXB Da Ring, 2000.

: Nguyen Trpng The, Tit van quan li/, NXBLD, HN, 1995, tr.13.
14 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

cac to chtfc da thtfc stf la nhtfng nha ttf van, du cho ho khong
chinh thtfc dtfQc gQi la nhtfng nha ttf vans.
T ren the gidi, kh ai n iem ttf va n k h o n g d o n thu'an chi hieu
theo n g h la cho ldi k h u y e n (nhtf cong viec cua mQt ch u y en gia, h a y
co van), la stf k h u y e n b ao tu* mQt to chirc h a y nhtfng ngtfdi co
trinh dQ ch u y en m o n v'e mQt linh vtfc c y the, nhtf mQt hinh thtfc
gop y kien. T ro n g do, ngtfdi xin ttf v a n th tfdng la ngtfdi ch u dQng,
tich ctfc, con ngtfdi dtfQc ttf van thi co the la ngtfdi th y dQng trong
viec giai q uyet va n de cua hQ.
Hiep hQi Tham van Hoa Ki
(1998) da dinh nghia ttf van la: moi Thao luan trirong hop
quan he gitfa mQt ngtfdi trQ giup Nha trtfdng de nghj ban
chuyen nghiep va ngtfdi, nhom ngtfdi giup dd cho mQt hoc sinh
hoac mQt chinh the xa hQi can dtfQc ldp 7, hoc sinh nay da may
giup dd, trong dd nha ttf van cung cap
Tan gay go danh ban, trong
stf giup dd cho than chu trong viec
ldp pha binh, cai hon vdi
xac dinh va giai quvet mQt van de lien
giao vien, den ldp khong
quan den cong viec h o§c ngtfdi khac.
chuain bj bai...
Vi du: MQt giao vien chu nhiem
Ban se gap ai va lam nhir
mdi niQt nha ttf van den de giai
the nao trong vai tro la:
quyet nhtfng van de mau thuan
1. Nha ttf vain
trong sinh hoat chung cua nhom
2. Nha tham van
sinh vien do co giao phu trach (chtf
khong phai van de tam li cua co giao phu trach). Hay, mQt ngtfdi
can dtfQc ttf van (la mQt ngtfdi lanh dao, hay quan li cua mQt to
chirc) mdi nha ttf van den moi trtfdng cua hQ vdi ki VQng rang nha
ttf van nay - mQt chuyen gia, se giai quyet van de dang ton tai
trong cQ quan cua ngtfdi quan li do. N h a ttf van dtfQc thue nhtf
mQt ngtfdi huan luven, ngtfdi co van “co tri thtfc va cac ki nang
chuven m on de giai quyet van de cho ngtfdi k h a c ”.

Co the giai nghia hoat dQng ttf van nhtf sau: N ha tir van dirQc
mQt ngtfdi de nghi cung cap dich vy giup dd trtfc tiep cho mQt
ngtfdi, nhom, to chirc hoac cQng dong vdi no ltfc trQ giu p cho ca

Dan theo Tai lieu v'e edng tac tham van, HN, Unicef Yi£t Nam, 2002.
CHl TONG I: T h a m van t am li la mo t khoa hoc ufng dung 15

nh an (n h o m h o a c he th o n g do) vtfQt q ua nhtfng k h o k h a n cua hQ.

Hay, co th e d jn h nghia d on gian hon: Toi (nha ttf va n - ngtfdi thu"
nhat) va b an (mQt ngtfdi, mQt n hom ngtfdi, h oac co the la nha
th a m van chtfa dtfQc hanh ngh'e dQC l£p - ngtfdi thtf hai) noi
ch u y en v'e a n h /ch j ay (hay he th ong to chtfc ay - ngtfdi h oac van
de thtf ba) vcri m u c dich tao nen mQt so stf th a y doi.
N htf vgy, ttf van lien quan den mQt m di qua n he tay ba trong
do trQng ta m la ngtfdi xin ttf van va ben thtf ba (co the la mQt
ngtfdi h o a c mQt to chtfc). Ttf van vdi mQt ngtfdi v'e ngtfdi kh ac
k h o n g chi lien quan den ba ca nhan ch inh (nha ttf van, ngtfdi
dtfQc ttf va n va “ngtfdi k h a c ”) m a con lien q u a n den m oi trtfdng
m a “ngtfdi k h a c ” d a n g ton tai trong do (E.D. N e u k ru g , 1999).
H oat dQng ttf va n co the dien ra tro n g cac cO quan, trtfdng
hQC, d o a n h n g h iep va bat cu* noi nao ton tai ngtfdi dtfQc ttf van,
ngtfdi m u o n cai th ien tinh hinh co va n de h o a c m u o n x e m xet
nhtfng cach thtfc m d i cho viec t^o nen stf th a y doi tich c u t trong
co n g v iec cua m inh.
T re n th e gidi, n h a ttf van thtfdng co goc dao tao tu1 mQt nha
th a m va n c h u y e n sau. Doi vdi mQt so nha th a m van, viec la m ttf
va n lai la vai tro ch inh cua hQ. Du la mQt nha th a m va n tro n g mQt
to c h u t cQng dong, h a y tai cac trtfdng dai hQC, cao d an g thi cong
v iec ttf v a n lu o n trd thanh mQt phan dtfQc m o n g dQi va can thiet
tro n g trach n h ie m ch u yen m on cua nha th a m van. N h a th a m van
co th e ttf v a n cho nhtfng nha th am van khac, h o a c ttf van cho
nhtfng ngtfdi q u a n ly, cac d o n vi tro n g cac trtfdng hqc; cac giam
d oc cu a cac cQ sd th a m kh a m va tat ca cac cQ q u a n b ao g o m bQ y
te, ch in h q u y en , hQi d on g m u c stf...
Co the noi, khai niem ttf van doi khi dong nghia vdi khai niem co
van, chuyen gia. T rong tieng Viet, co van dtfQc hieu la ngtfdi thtfdng
xuyen dtfQc hoi y kien de tham khao giai quyet cong viec. Stf khac
nhau gitfa th am van va co van dtfQc the hien rat ro trong bang so sanh
du’d i d ay1:

1 Tai lieu tap huan I.op dao tao giang vien ve cong tac tham van, Unicef, quven 1,
2002, trang 24.
16
Phan biet tham van va c6 v ln
Tham van
- La cuqc noi ch u yen m a n g tinh
ca nhan gitfa nha th a m van vdi
mpt h oac vai ngtfdi d ang can stf
ho trQ de doi m at vdi kh o khan
h oac th ach thufc tro n g cuqc song.
TrQng tam cua cuqc th am van
n ham vao ngtfdi dtfQc th a m van.
- N h a th a m van giup than chu
sang to van de, xem xet cac giai
p hap kh a thi va giu p than chu
dtfa ra ltfa chQn toi tfu nhat.
- M oi quan he th a m van quyet
dinh ket qua th am van. Vi va y
nha th a m va n phai x a y dtfng long
tin noi th an chu va co thai dQ
chap nhan, thau cam va k h on g
p han xet.
- T h a m van la mQt qua trinh gom
nhi'eu cuqc noi chuyen lien tiep de
than chu nhan biet va dtfOng dau
dtfQc van de cua minh.
- N h a th am van the hien stf tin
ttfdng vao kh a nang ttf giai quyet
van de cua than chu, vai tro cua
nha th a m van chi la “htfdng d a o ”
cho than chu.
- N h a th a m van co kien thtfc v'e
cach ctf xtf va phat trien cua con ! ve nhtfng linh vtfc nh at dinh
ngtfdi. Hq co cac ki nang nghe va
giao tiep, co k h a nang khai thac | nhtfng kien thitc do den nstfdi
G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI
Co' van
- La cuqc noi ch uyen gitfa |
mQt “ch uyen g ia ” v'e mQt linh
vtfc nao do vdi mQt hoac
nhi'eu ngtfdi d an g can ldi
khuyen h a y chi dan v'e linh
vtfc ay. TrQng tam thtfdng
tap trung vao nha co van.
- N h a co va n giu p th a n chu
ra q uyet d inh b a n g cach dtfa
ra nhtfng ldi k h u y e n v'e “ m at
ch u yen m o n ” cho th an chu.
- Moi quan he gitfa ngtfdi co
van va than chu khong quyet
djnh ket qua co van, m a kien
thtfc, stf hieu biet cua ngtfdi
co van v'e linh vtfc than chu
dang can co van mdi la yeu to
quyet djnh.
- Q ua trinh co van co the
chi dien ra tro n g mQt Tan
gap gd gitfa than chu va
ngtfdi co van.
- Ngtfdi co van noi vdi th a n
chu v'e nhtfng quyet djnh m a
hQ cho la p hu hQp n h a t ddi
vdi tin h huong cua than
chu.
- Ngtfdi co van co kien thtfc
va co kha nang truyen dat
C H U O N G I: T h a m van tam If la m o t khoa hoc ting dung 17

van de va cam xu c cua than chu. can ho trQ h a y hudng dan

trong linh vtfc do.

- N h a th a m va n giu p than chu - T$p tru n g va o the m^nh

n h an ra va sir dtfng nhting kha cua th an chu k h o n g phai la
n a n g va the m ^nh cua rieng hQ. xu h u d n g ch u n g cua n gu di
co van

- N h a tham van phai thau cam vdi - Ngudi co va n dua ra

nhting cam giac va cam xtic cua
than chii b an g thai dQ chap nh£n
tuyet doi.
nhtfng ldi k h u y e n tot nhat
cho than chu n h u n g kh on g
quan tam den v iec ch uyen
tai stf th a u cam , ch ap nh&n
tdi th an chu.

- T h a n chu la m chu cuqc noi - Sau kh i th a n chu trinh b a y

ch uyen ; n h a th a m van lSng nghe, van de cua m in h, n g u d i co
p h a n hoi, to n g ke t v a d§t cau hoi. va n la m chii cuqc noi
ch u yen va dua ra ldi
khuyen.

Khi nha tu" van sir dtfng kien thtic cua minh de dtfa ra nhtfng gQi y
va ldi khuyen, h ay chju trach nhiem tim ra mQt “cach dieu tri” hudng
den stf thay doi cua to chtic, nha tu van co the trQ thanh chuyen gia, co
van, ngirdi hitdng dan, ngtfdi huan luyen va/ hoac ngudi giao dtfc.
NgtfQc lai, khi nha ttf van trQ giup than chu sir dtfng nhtfng nguon ltfc
cua chinh hQ trong to chtic de thay doi, thi nha ttf van la ngtfdi dieu
dinh va/ ho$c ngtfdi tao dieu kien thu£n lQi, ngtfdi CQng tac. Trong
trtfdng hQp nay, nha ttf van hoat dQng nhtf mQt ngtfdi tao dieu kien
thu£n lgi cho qua trinh thay doi bang cach lam viec cung vdi cac ca
nhan lien quan, cung cap cac tai lieu va cac giai phap.
6 V ie t N a m , do h oat dQng th a m v a n con k h a m d i m e v a ttf
phat, v iec d u n g kh a i n iem chtfa dtfQc th o n g nhat tro n g xa hQi nen
th u g t ngtf T h a m v a n dtfQc ch u n g toi sir dtfng tro n g cu on tai lieu
n a y co n g h ia tie n g A n h la C o u n selin g v a thu£t ngtf Ttf v a n la
C o n s u lta tio n . Hai kh ai niem nay da dtfQc th o n g n hat cach gQi
tr o n g HQi th a o v e C o n g tac th a m van tre em, do U n ic e f ket hQp
vd i U y b a n D an s o -G ia dinh V iet N a m (ten cu) to chtic, th a n g
4 /2 0 0 2 .
DAI HOC TH AI N G U Y E N

JKG TAM KOC LIEU

18 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

3. Tham van tam li

T h a m van (Counseling Psychology) la

H oat dQng tham van
mot thuat ngtf k h o n g con xa la d Viet bao gom viec lang
N am trong kh o a n g 10 - 15 nam lai day. nghe doi twang trinh
T u y nhien, cho den n a y van con dang ton bay van de cua ho,
lam cho ho cam thay
tai nhi'eu cach hieu kh ac nhau lien quan
de chiu, giup ho nhan
tdi thuat ngtf nay. K hong rieng gi 0 Viet biet van de va tim ra
N am m a tai cac ntfdc phtfOng T a y va Bac cac gidi phap cho cac
My, thu^t ngtf tham van cung dtfQc hieu d van de do.
nhi'eu mu’c do k h ac nhau. Doi khi, no chi
nhim g hoat d ong cua ngtfdi giup d o thong thtfdng, h o a c cua tinh
nguyen vien, ho dtfQc xem nhtf la ngtfdi lam cong tac trQ giup. Hay
no noi den nhtfng ngtfdi lam tham van chuyen nghiep tai cac benh
vien, trung tam, dich vu - xa hQi, hoac cac trtfdng h oc vd i nen tang
kien thtic v'e tam li hoc, cong tac xa hoi hoac cac nganh khac.
T ro n g chtfOng nay, chting toi m u o n de c | p d en th a m v a n vdi
ttf cach la mQt h oa t d on g trQ giu p m a n g tinh ch u y e n n gh iep,
tro n g dd doi hoi n h a th a m van co kien thtic sau v'e ta m li v a h a n h
vi con ngtfdi n h a m giai q uyet nhtfng va n de cua cuqc s o n g xa hQi
dtfQc coi la n g u ye n n h an n a y sinh nhtfng roi loan ta m li ca n dtfQc
giu p dd d cac ca nhan. T h e o M ie lk e J. (19 9 9 ), y e u to ta m li la
dQng cO ro ret thtic d ay con ngtfdi tim den th a m van. D o do kh a i
niem th a m va n noi d en stf trQ gitip tam li, chti k h o n g d o n th u a n
la stf hoi dap v'e th o n g tin, kien thtic1. V i vay, kh ai n iem th a m v a n
tron g giao trin h n a y dtfQc hieu la th a m va n ta m li.

H iep hQi cac n h a th a m van H oa Ki (A CA , 1997) ch o rang:

T h a m v a n la stf ap dtfng n g u ye n tac tam li, stic kh oe tinh th a n h a y
n g u ye n ta c v'e stf p h a t trien con ngtfdi th o n g qua cac ch ie n ltfQc
can th iep mQt cach co he th o n g v'e n h an thtic, xtic cam , h a n h vi,
t§p tr u n g va o stf la n h m an h, stf phat trien ca nhan. p hat trien
n g h e n g h iep cu n g nhtf van de b en h lv.
Dinh nghia ciia Hiep hoi T h a m van Hoa Ki cung xac dinh rang
qua trinh th am van dtfQc hieu nhtf la mQt m oi quan he ttf nguvsjn

1 Dan theo Tai lieu ve cong tac tham van, HN, Unicef Yi£t Nam, 2002.
C H U O N G I: T h a m van tam If la m o t khoa hoc ting dung 19

gitfa nha th am van va khach hang. Trong moi quan he nay nha tham
van giup kh ach hang ttf xac djnh va ttf giai quyet van de cua minh.
P.K. O n n e r cho rang tham van la qua trinh, vi v£y no doi hoi
cac nha th a m va n phai danh thdi gian nhat d jnh v a sir dtfng cac ki
n ang mQt cach th u an thtfc de giup dd doi ttfQng/than chu tim hieu,
xac d;nh van de va trien khai cac giai phap trong dieu kien cho
phep. T h a m van la mQt kh oa hpc thtfc h a n h n h am giup con ngtfdi
vtfQt qua dtfdc nhtfng kh o khan cua m inh, giup ho co k h a nang
hoat d png doc l£p trong xa hoi bang chinh ki nang song va nang
ltfc cua m in h 1.
T h e o c h u n g toi, tr o n g dieu kien ho^t d o n g th a m v a n d V ie t
N a m co n ttf p h a t v a ai cu n g co th e ttf cho m in h la n h a th a m v a n
k h i h o m u o n la m co n g viec trQ g iu p ngtfdi kh ac, thi m o t d jnh
n g h ia v e th a m v a n d a y du h o n co th e p h a t b ie u la: T h a m v a n la
m o t q u a trin h ttfQng tac gitfa nha th a m v a n (ngtfdi co ch u y en
m o n v a ki n a n g th a m van, co cac p h a m ch at d$o du'c cu a nghe
th a m v a n v a dtfQc p h a p lu£t thiTa nh&n) v d i th a n ch u (con gQi la
k h a c h h a n g - ngtfdi d an g co va n de kh o k h a n v e ta m li m u o n
dtfQc g iu p d d). T h o n g q u a cac ki n a n g trao doi v a ch ia se ta m
tin h (dtfa tr e n ca c n g u y e n tac d$o du'c v a m o i q u a n he m a n g tinh
n g h e n g h ie p ), th a n chu h ieu v a ch ap nh£n thtfc te cu a m in h , ttf
tim la y tie m n a n g b an th a n de giai q u y e t v a n de cu a ch inh
m i n h 2. T h u g t ngtf th a m va n m o ta ch in h xa c b a n ch at cu a n ghe
trQ g iu p la g iu p ngtfdi k h a c d a n g co k h o k h a n ta m li m a k h o n g
h tfd n g hQ th e o y m inh.
Triet li cua sy giup d&
K hai n ie m th a m van m o ta
ch in h x a c ca c ki nang, kien th u t, - Giup than chu nhin van
thai do v a cac phtfQng p hap tiep de nhu: no von co.

c£n doi vd i cac doi ttfdng kh o kh an - Giup than chu tit gidi
quyet van de cua minh.
v e tam li co nh u cau dtfQc giu p dd.
B a n g cach t§p tr u n g va o n h im g trai - M ot nghe giup ngu"&i
khac giup d d chinh ho.

' P.K. Odhner, Gi&i thieu thirc hanh CTXH, giao trinh t§p huan, modun II, tr.45.
: Tran Thj Minh Dut, Ban ve thuat ngif Tu van, Tgp chi D^i hoc va Giao dye chuyen
nghiep, 2000.
20 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M Li

nghiem , cam xuc, su y nghl, h a n h vi cua th a n chu vd i n h im g d ap

ting mQt cach co chu dinh, nha th a m v a n t^o ra stf k h a m pha,
chap n h an ho$c th ach thirc d th an chu, g iu p hQ ttf d$t tcri mQt
mire dQ thich hQp v'e kh a nang h o a t dQng d<?c l£p tr o n g xa hoi.
N htf v$y, th a m van vd i ttf cach la mQt ngh'e, mQt d ich v y trQ g iu p
tinh than, doi hoi n h a th a m van phai trai q u a mQt q u a tr in h d ao
tao li th u yet v a thtfc h a n h co g ia m sat, vi th a m v a n k h o n g p hai la
giai dap, cho ldi k h u yen , h u d n g con n g u d i d en ca c chuain m tfc xa
hQi ch u n g ch u n g m a ai, lu c nay luc khac, cu n g co th e la m dtfQc.
R ichard N e lsso n (1997) cu ng cho rang m y c tieu cu a th a m va n
la htfdng tdi th a y doi cach thirc cam nh£n, s u y n g h i va h a n h dQng
cua con ngtfdi de g iu p hQ tao nen mQt cuqc s o n g tot d ep hQn. Do
v£y, th eo ong, th a m va n la mQt qua trinh can th ie p giai q u y e t va n
de v d i mQt m oi q u a n he, mQt qua trinh ttfQng ta c d ac b ie t gitfa
ngtfdi la m th a m v a n va than chu. O n g cho ra n g th a m v a n co the
dtfQc sir dtfng d n h im g cap dQ k h a c nhau. N o co th e la d a n g h o a t
dQng m a n g tinh ch u y en sau ciia cac nha ta m li hQC, can stf xa hQi,
nhtfng no cu n g co the la mQt phan co n g v ie c ciia g ia o vien , y ta,
h a y dieu dtfdng, cac n h a tinh n g u ye n vien.

Co the noi h oat dQng th a m van p han a n h nh u cau ciia n h im g

n g u d i tim k ie m stf giu p d d tam li. T h a m va n tr d th a n h mQt ngh'e
ch u y en n g h iep xu at phat tir nhu cau nay ciia xa hQi. N o ta p tr u n g
va o g iu p d d n g u d i k h a c giai quyet cac k h o k h a n ta m li ciia hQ. V d i
cach h ieu nay, kh a i n iem "T h am va n ta m li" th tfdng dtfQc gQi
ng a n gQn la "T h a m van".

Ban ch at cu a th a m v a n la h oat dQng h a y p h u o n g p h a p trQ

g iu p ngtfdi co v a n de ttf giai q u yet va n de ciia ch in h m in h chir
k h o n g phai la h o a t dQng dtfa ra ldi k h u y e n m a ch u n g ta th tfd n g
hieu. Stf trd g iu p d d a y dtfQc the hien q u a v iec giu p ngtfdi co v a n
de h ieu dtfQc ch in h hQ, h o a n canh ciia hQ, p hat h u y dtfQc ti'em
nang, n a n g ltfc v o n co ciia chinh m inh. V d i y nghia nay, th a m va n
con co tac d u n g giu p doi ttfQng n a n g cao kh a n a n g doi p h o vdi
v a n de tr o n g cuqc song.
C H U O N G I: T h a m van ta m If la m o t khoa hoc ting dung 21

T o a n b o q u a trin h th a m va n the hien of cac giai d o a n hQp tac

k h a c n h a u doi h oi v ie c sir d u n g cac k i n a n g k h a c n h a u cu a nha
th a m van . N h a th a m va n can co th di gian de h ieu v a n de cua
th a n chu v a con ngtfdi th a n chu. C u n g nhtf vay, th a n chu can co
th d i g ia n de k ie m n g h iem k h a ch q u a n v a n d'e cua m inh. Q u a
tr in h th a m v a n htfd ng tdi nhtfng kien thtic v a n h a n cach la m
ngtfdi, g a n v d i stf trtfdng th a n h cua th a n chu v a ca n h a th a m
van . D ieu n a y k h a c h a n v d i viec cho ldi k h u y e n , ra q u y e t dinh
th a y cho th a n chu.

Vi va y nha th a m van kh ong the dtfa ra nhtfng p han xet, nhtfng

giai dap, h a y ldi kh u yen chi sau 15 - 20 phut trd chuyen vdi than
chu. Q u a trinh chia se trong tham van doi hoi stf tich ctfc hQp tac
gitfa n h a th a m va n va than chu. T ron g dd, nha th am van b a y to stf
lSng nghe, th au hieu con than chu noi ra dtfQc tam stf cua minh.
N h a th a m va n gitip cho than chu thay dtfQc stf xao trQn nQi tam
cua hQ. T h a n chu k h o n g chi hieu ro stf kien, hoan canh gay ra van
de m a q u a n trQng h a n y thtic dtfQc con ngtfdi m inh trong tinh
h u o n g co va n de. Dieu dd gitip cho than chu vtfQt q ua dtfQc nhtfng
trd ngai ta m li de nhin van v'e cua m inh nhtf no d ang co. V iec nay
cu ng d on g h a n h vd i qua trinh tim ti'em nang cua than chu de dtfa
ra dtfQc cac phtfQng an giai quyet van d'e cua minh.

M iic dich cua q u a trinh tham

P h a n tich d o a n d oi th o ai
v a n la p h a i k h a i gQi dtfQc nhtfng
T h a n c h u : Em rat buon vi
tiem n ang, m a t m a n h cua than
con em khong nghe l&i em,
chu. D ieu n a y d o n g nghia vd i viec
hom nao no cung di hoc ve
n h a th a m v a n ch ap nhan than chu, muon, dieu nay lam em rat
dQng vien, k h ic h le, cu n g co nhtfng cau...
gia tri cu a th a n chu. Ro rang rang,
N h a th a m van: Chf can danh
kh i th a n chu ttf tim den nha tham nhieu th&i gian chia se v&i con
va n de dtfQc gitip dd, chia se, co hem. Chf khong nen cau v&i chau,
n g h ia la v e thtfc chat hQ co ti'em vi lam the chi khoet sau them sit
n a n g dtfQng d au vd i v a n d'e va ngan cach giita chf va chau.
m u o n giai q u y e t v a n d'e cua minh.
22 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M Li

Dieu q uan trQng la nha th a m van co kh a n a n g nhu1 the nao de

giu p than chu diTQng dau diTQc va n d'e cua hQ. V i th e n h a th a m
va n co the can chi ra nhtfng ti'em n a n g cua th a n ch u de g iu p h o tin
vao b an th an va kh a nang cua m inh. N h a th a m v a n co th e chi ra
nhi'eu h a n , cu th e hQn ti'em nang cua th an ch u kh i h ieu nhi'eu h a n
ve than chu cua m inh. V d i nhim g th an chu ty ti, it tr o n g c£y vao
b an than, nha th a m van co the noi:
- T oi b iet ch i la n g it& i co trach n hiem v&i ban tha n va gia
din h m in h (h o a c ch i la n git& i biet hy sin h ban th a n ...; ch i la
ngit& i d am ditcfng dau v&i kho khan ...; chf la n g it& i b ie t can
n h a c tn t& c k h i d i den m ot q u y et din h...; ch i la n g it& i p h u n it co
Idng bao d u n g ...; n g it& i co long tit trong ca o ...), vi vay ch u n g ta
se xem x e t ca c g id i p h a p , chj se can n h a c x e m ca ch g id i q u y e t
nao la to t n h a t cho van de cua chi.
N oi to m lai, qua trinh th am van n h a m g iu p cho th a n ch u t y
chju trach n h iem vdi cuqc ddi cua m inh, ty tim cach giai q uvet
cac v a n de cua m inh, v a nha th a m van chi la n gu d i soi s a n g va n
d'e, giu p v e m § t th o n g tin, giai toa cac xu c cam g a y anh h u d n g tieu
eye den cac q u u ye t djnh cua than chu, chu" k h o n g d u a ra ldi
k h u y e n h a y q u yet d inh hQ va n d'e cho th an chu. T h a m v a n la tien
trinh giu p d d chu" k h o n g la m hQ cho th an chu. Q u a trin h ty q u y et
se giu p th a n chu m a n h len, dam nghi v a d u o n g dau v d i v a n de
k h o k h a n cu a ch in h minh.

II. MOI LIEN HE NGHE NGHIEP TRONG CAC NGANH

TRQf GIUP
C ac h in h thirc dao tao n gu di trQ giup ch u yen n g h iep th tfd n g
dtfQc n h a c d en ttfQng utig vdi cong viec hQ la m trong xa hQi la tri
lieu ta m li, th a m van, trQ giup xa h Q i , ttf va n sure k h o e ta m th a n
v.v... T u y nhien , nhtfng cong viec nay dan xen nhau, co s y giao
th o a v a doi kh i k h o co the la m rach roi. V i du, n ganh T a m li h o c
(d£c b ie t la c h u y e n n g a n h T a m li hQC L am sang) d ao tao nhtfng
ngtfdi la m n g h e tri lieu tam li, ca ngtfdi lam tham v a n ta m li \ a
n g a n h T h a m v a n dao tao ngtfdi lam co n g v i e c th am van . va c u n g
dao tao ngtfdi la m tri lieu tam li. TtfQng ttf nhtf vay. tr o n g nganh
C H U O N G I: T h a m van tam li la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 23

C o n g tac xa hoi, n h im g chuyen gia cong tac xa hoi co b a n g th a c si

thtfc h a n h cu n g lam co n g tac th am van h a y tri lieu ta m li. C ac b ac
si tam th an cu n g co chtic nang tri lieu tam li h a y th a m van. Cac
nha ta m th an h o c la ngtfdi dtfQc dao t$o tot tro n g viec phat hien
va dieu trj ta m benh, va dtfQc dao tao toi thieu ve ki thu^t th am
va n ca nhan, n h o m , ki thuat trj lieu tam li, k i th u at dinh ltfQng
tam li, stf phat trien con ngtfdi va th am va n ngh'e nghiep.

l. Tam li hQC va tham van tam li T h a o lu a n

T h e o R a y m on d Lloyd R ich m o n d 1, hau Bang stf hieu biet ciia
het nhtfng ngtfdi dtfQc gQi la nha tam li minh, hay chi ra stf
h oc (dac biet d H oa Ky) deu co trinh do ttfcfng dong va khac
tien si, dtfQc dao tao chuyen sau ve thtfc biet trong cong viec
dtftfc goi la Tham
h anh tri lieu tam li. Hq co kha nang phat
van tam li va Tri lieu
hien va chtia tri cac loai van de ve cam
tam li.
xtic, co k h a n a n g nghien ctiu va ltfQng gia
trong th am va n ca n h an va nhom , cung nhtf co kien thtic v'e tam
b enh hoc. T ro n g thtfc hanh trQ gitip con ngtfdi, cac nha tam li hoc
co nhtfng chtic d anh dtfQc cap bang/chting chi ngh'e: nha tam li
lam sang, n h a tam li hQC tham van, nha tam li h o c dtfdng va nha
p han ta m hoc. T at ca nhtfng ngtfdi co m ot trong cac chtic d anh nay
deu co th e lam co n g viec tri lieu tam li.
Khi noi v e stf k h a c nhau gitfa nha th a m v a n v a nha tam li hoc
lam san g (ngtfdi la m tri lieu tam li), TS. San F rancisco dat cau
hoi: “ K hac n h a u gitia tam li lam san g va th a m v a n .ta m li la g i? ”.
T h e o ong, cau tra ldi k h o n g he d o n gian b d i vi n g a n h ta m li hoc
co the dtfQc ting dtfng theo nhi'eu cach k h a c nhau. V i vay, viec chi
ra stf k h a c n h a u gitia tam li lam sang va tam li th a m v a n la k h o n g
d o n gian. MQt so ngtfdi h o c tam li hoc n h im g la m viec nhtf mQt
nha th a m van , mQt so la m viec nhtf m ot nha tri lieu va sd k h a c la
n h a ta m li hoc. V a theo San Francisco, m£c du cac chtfOng trinh
d ao tao th a m v a n thtfdng d ay cac li th u yet tri lieu ta m li k h a c
nhau. N htfng d ao tao va giam sat ve thtfc h a n h tri lieu ta m li

1 Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Clinical and Counseling - and Licensure, Ph.D. San
Francisco, California USA Psychology, Copyright©i997 - 2009.
24 G I A O TR'INH T H A M V A N T A M LI

thtfdng k h o n g dtfdc b a o h a m tron g dao tgo th a m van. N o i ch u n g ,

tro n g khi trj lieu ta m li htfdng den nhtfng th a y doi p h u t ta p tro n g
tinh cach v a thtfdng la m viec vdi cac x u n g d<?t vo thirc, thi th am
va n htfdng den nhtfng tinh h u d n g t u t th d i va bi gidi han. Hien
nay cac chtfOng trinh dao tao tren the gidi c h u y e n ve th a m va n
thtfdng d ay cac li th u yet trj lieu ta m li k h a c nhau. Nhi'eu nha
th a m van p h u nh£n stf p h a n biet gitfa th a m v a n va tri lieu tam li
do mQt so chtfOng trinh dao t^o th a m van da rat chu trQng vao tri
lieu ta m li.
O M y, mQt ngtfdi co b an g tien si th a m v a n co th e dtfQc chtfng
nh£n la mQt N h a ta m li hQC. MQt ngtfdi vdi b a n g th a c si th a m van,
d mQt so b an g, co the trd th anh N h a th a m v a n ch u y e n ng h iep
dtfQc co n g n h a n (L icensed Professional C o u n selo r). T re n thtfc te,
de p h an b iet stf k h a c n hau r$ch roi gitfa nha th a m van, n h a trj
lieu (tot n g h iep n g a n h ta m li hQC la m sang) la rat p h u t tap. 1
T h a m v a n ta m li la mQt ngh'e ch u yen n gh iep . N o x u a t phat
k h o n g p h ai tir p h o n g k h a m benh, m a tir mdi trtfd n g xa hQi v d i cac
va n d'e xa hQi. T h a m va n t§p tru n g vao g iu p d d ngtfdi k h a c giai
q u yet cac k h o k h a n h a y cac van d'e lien q uan d en trtfdng h o c h o a c
gia dinh. T ro n g k h u n g canh nay, nha th a m va n la “ ngtfdi giai
q u yet va n d'e” th o n g qua nhtfng ldi k h u y e n trtfc tiep h a y nhtfng
htfdng d an gian tiep n h a m giu p th an chii co nhtfng q u y e t d in h
hQp ly. T h a m va n co n g u o n goc lien q uan d en linh vtfc giao due,
m£c du cac n h a th a m va n co b an g tam li hQc. Nhi'eu ch irong trinh
ta m li hQc th tfdng chi dao tao tien si T a m li hQc th a m van , mQt
n h a n h cu a ta m li hQc, t£p tru n g vao viec thtfc h a n h th a m van . Ben
c^nh do, n h ieu n h a ta m li hQc th a m va n dtfQc dao tao ve htfdng
nghiep , mQt k h ia canh cua ta m li hQc giu p ca n h a n k h a m p h a ra
xu htfd ng ngh'e n g h iep ciia cuqc ddi minh.
R a y m o n d L loyd R ich m o n d cho rang th a m va n th tfd n g lien
q u a n d en nhtfng v a n d'e “th o n g th tfd n g ” h o n la cac va n d'e roi lo a n
ta m than. N o gan vd i viec ra quyet dinh va nhtfng h a n h dQng cu
the nen lam . V a n de ciia th an chu t i p tru n g va o nhtfng stf kien
hien tai - nhtfng va n d'e nam trong binh dien y thirc, su y nghi li

1 http: ; \ m v , g u id e to p s y c h o lo g y .c o m c ln _ c n s .h tm -2 .
CH J O N G I: T h a m van tam If la m o t khoa hoc ting dung 25

tri, horn la vao nhtfng stf kien da xay ra trong qua kh ti vd i nhting
van d'e th u o c v'e vo thtic (m §c du khi xem xet cac stf kien g a y ra
ton thtfQng cho th a n chu, nha th am van van tr d lai n g u o n goc qua
khti cua va n d'e). Trj lieu tam li nham m u c dich th a y doi su y nghi,
cam x u c va h a n h vi cua than chu tti kern thich nghi sang thich
nghi h o n . Khai niem “N ha" tri heu tam li la thu£t ngti goi theo
thdi q u e n n M m chi co n g viec cua ngtfdi trQ giup. Trj lieu ta m li
chi la cach thtic, phtfQng phap tac dQng, m a mQt nha ta m li hoc,
n ha ta m th an h o c h a y mQt nhan vien cong ta c xa hoi dtfQc chting
n h §n deu co th e h a n h ngh'e tri lieu tam li. M a c du th u o c co the
dtfQc d u n g ket hQp trong tri heu tam li va la th anh ph an quan
trQng neu th an chu "bi b en h thtic the", nhtfng th u o c k h o n g the
dtfQc coi la th a n h p h a n cua tri lieu tam li, bdi tri lieu tam li thtfc
stf phtf th u o c va o viec th an chu sti dtfng nhting trai n g h iem tam li
cu a m in h de m a n g lai nhtfng th a y doi nhtf m o n g ddi, chti k h o n g
phai la thuoc.
T r o n g co n g tac dao tao nha th am va n hien nay tren the gidi,
th u at ngti th a m v a n va tri lieu tam li dtfQc trinh b a y mQt cach g'an
nhtf ttfQng d o n g tro n g da so cac sach giao k h o a d H oa Ky. Hau
h et nhting g ia o trin h nay deu sti d u n g cac trtfdng phai li th u yet
cu a ta m li h o c d an h cho nghien ctiu va thtfc h a n h th a m va n h o§c
tri lieu ta m li. T h e o E.D. N eukru g, ch u n g ta co the th a y nhting
q u y e n sach gia o k h o a v'e li th u yet th a m va n v a tri heu ta m li,
tro n g dd co n h tin g li th u yet giong nhau, k h o n g the p h a n biet
dtfQc. V i dtf, C .H . Patterson, ngtfdi viet giao trinh noi tien g "Ly
th u y e t th a m v a n v a tri lieu" da tu yen bo rang th a m va n v a tri lieu
c u n g dtfQc sti d iin g trong sach cua on g vi dtfdng nhtf k h o n g the co
b at cti stf p h a n b iet ro ret nao gitia ch u n g (P atterson , 1993).
TtfQng ttf, B a ru th va H u b er (1985) da noi ran g h o sti dtfng th u at
n gti th a m v a n v a trj lieu ta m li mQt each n g a n g b a n g x u ye n suot
cac sach cu a hQ. C o re y (1996), trong tac p h a m noi tieng: "Ly
th u y e t v a thtfc h a n h th a m van va tri lieu ta m li" da k h o n g noi v'e
v a n d'e n a y m a ch o n v iec sti dtfng cac th u at ngtf th a m v a n v a trj
lieu ta m li h o a n ddi cho nhau. C on C. R ogers tr o n g cac sach ve
th a m va n cua m in h cu n g cho rang stf k h a c biet gitia hai th u at ngti
n a y la k h o n g d a n g ke doi vdi nhting ngtfdi co chting chi h a n h
n g h e trQ giup. Ddi vdi linh vtfc th am van va tri lieu ta m li, hien
26 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M U

n a y tren th e gid i va n chtfa co stf p h a n biet ro rang. T h a m chi co

nhi'eu ch u y en gia trQ g iu p h a n g dau tren th e gidi cho ra n g th a m
va n va tri lieu ta m li dtfdc sir dtfng n h u n hau h o a c th ay th e cho
nhau tro n g 7 0 % tr u d n g h d p (R- R ich m o n ).

X et trong mQt chuoi hoat dQng trQ giup lien tiep tren, khai niem
h u d n g dan lien quan den stf ltfa chQn giai p hap thich hQp cho mQt
van d'e, n h u chQn ngh'e, chQn trudng, chQn m o n hQc v a thtfdng gan
vdi mdi trud ng hQc dudng, gan vdi giao dtfc, htfdng nghiep. Cong
tac h u d n g dan th u d n g cho ldi khuyen theo kieu ngtfdi ld n tuoi bao
ngudi nho tuoi, ngtfdi thieu kinh nghiem nghe ldi ngtfdi co kinh
nghiem, h a n la giup than chu tao ra mQt stf th a y doi b a n g chinh kha
nang cua hQ. 6 H oa Ky, cong tac htfdng dan thtfdng do cac nha tam
li hQc hQc dtfdng thtfc hien (hQ toi thieu phai co trinh do th a c si). Vdi
chirc nang danh gia va ttf van cho viec giao dtf c nhtfng hQc sinh dac
biet, nen hQ kh on g phai luc nao ho cung dtfQc cap phep de la m tham
van va tri lieu tam li (Todd & Borhart, 1994).
Khi th an ch u co nan d'e can trQ giup, N e u k r u g cho ran g ranh
gidi gitfa th a m va n va tri lieu thtfdng the hien mQt each ttfQng doi
nhtf sau:

Cong tac hipong d in , tham v ln va tri lieu tam li

trong m ot chuoi tro> giup lien tiep

H tfdng d an <— > T h a m van <-— > T ri lieu T a m li

(G u id a n ce) (C ounseling) (P s y ch o th e ra p y )
- Van d e n gan han <— > - Van de d a i han
- T hay d o i h a n h vi <— > - C au true lai nhan
- Van d e ben n g o a i <— > cach

- N g a y bay gicr, tai day <— > - Van d e ben trong

- M an g tinh ngan ngita <— > - B a y g ia va sau do

- C o y th tic <— > - M a n g tinh h oi p h u c

- Tap ti'ung va o s it g&i <— > - Vo th itc

y ciia n g itd i tro’ g iu p - Tap trying p h a t trien

kha nang thay d oi cua
than chii
C H U O N G I: T h a m van ta m If la m o t khoa hoc ting dung 27

T r o n g p h g m vi cua co n g ta c thtfc h a n h trj lieu ta m li, v iec

cap p h e p h a n h ngh'e d oc l£p la co gidi han. V e trin h do thtfc
h a n h , m o t n h a tri h ? u tam li phai co trinh do cao v'e ta m li h o c
la m san g, co n g ta c xa hoi, h o a c th a m va n tam li, vi co n g v iec cua
ho lien q u a n d en v iec d an h gia, chan d oan v a dieu ch in h nhtfng
h a n h vi sai lech, stf b at ltfc va noi lo lan g cu n g nhtf la m ta n g stf
th ic h n g h i cu a con ngtfdi va stf p hat trien n h an cach. T h e o
N e u k r u g , neu so sa n h v'e phtfOng dien x u at p h a t d ie m cua ngh'e
th a m va n , cac n h a th a m van tam li lam viec nhi'eu hOn v d i bo
ph£n d an ctf ttfOng doi m a n h khoe, con nhtfng n h a ta m li h oc
la m s a n g thi la m v iec vdi b o ph£n nho dan so co k h o k h a n v'e
ta m li. V i v£y co n g viec cua nha tri lieu ta m li th tfdng d b en h
vien , la m v ie c c u n g vd i cac y ta, b ac si ta m than. C on n h a th a m
v a n la m v ie c n g o a i tru t$i cac tru n g tam , dich vu trO g iu p con
ngtfdi tr o n g c o n g d on g , xa hoi. N g a y nay, stf k h a c b ie t gitfa nha
ta m li h o c th a m v a n va tam li lam san g la rat nho. O H oa Ky,
m o t n h a ta m li la m sa n g m u o n trd th a n h m ot n h a th a m v a n ta m
li thi p h ai d at dtfQc trin h do tien si tir m ot chtfOng trin h do H iep
h o i T a m li H o a Ki ch u a n h o a va h oa n th a n h nhtfng dieu k ie n bo
s u n g do m o t u y b a n cap p hep q u y dinh.

T r e n th e gid i, thu£t ngtf "nha tri lieu ta m li" k h o n g ket h o p

v d i b a t cu" lin h vtfc c y the nao cua co n g ta c dao tao thtfc h a n h sue
k h o e ta m th a n . D o dd, hau nhtf cac b a n g d H o a Ki k h o n g cap
g ia y p h e p ch o c h u t d a n h "nha tri lieu ta m l i ” v a ke t q u a la b a t cir
ca n h a n n a o c u n g co the ttf cho m in h la "n ha ta m li tri lieu". V e
trin h do thtfc h a n h , m o t ngtfdi la m tri lieu ta m li p h ai tot n gh iep
d trin h do cao v e n g a n h T a m li hoc, C o n g ta c xa hoi, T h a m va n
h o a c T a m th a n h o c v a la m v iec tr o n g lin h vtfc s u t k h o e ta m th a n
h o a c thtfc h a n h d cac cO sd ttf n h an v'e th a m v a n h o n n h a n v a gia
d in h v d i cac ca n h a n v a nhom .
T h e o ch u n g toi, d anh gia stf k h a c nhau tro n g co n g viec cua
nha th a m va n va nha tri lieu d V iet N a m phai nhin tu1 b oi canh
dao t£0 va co n g viec thtfc te m a ho d ang lam . V i dii nhtf d V iet
N a m hien nay, viec m ot ngtfdi d ang lam th a m va n h a y tri lieu tai
cac c o sd la k h o n g co tieu chi kiem soat. Ho co the tot nghiep tir
V a n , Bao chi, Lich sir, Xa hoi hoc... Khi tro n g xa hoi van con
28 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

nhieu ngtfdi d a n g la m th a m va n n h im g k h o n g tot n g h iep tir

n g a n h T a m li hQc, thi v iec mQt ngtfdi tot n gh iep n g a n h T a m li
hQc, b a t ke tir T rtfdng Dai hQc Sir p h a m h a y T rtfd n g Dai h o c K hoa
hQc X a hQi va N h a n v a n deu d a n g tran trQng, v a deu cho la co
trinh dQ d o n g d a n g tro n g co n g v iec trQ g iu p ta m li ngtfdi khac.
T u y nhien, neu p h a n tich cu the n h im g kien thirc, k i n a n g m a sinh
vien ta m li hQc da hQc, thi ro rang sinh vien K h o a T a m li, Trtfdng
Dai hQc S u p h a m se la m viec n h u mQt giao v ien d a y t a m li tot h o n
la la m nha th a m van. C u n g n h u vay, neu x e m xet cac m o n h o c ciia
sinh vien Bq m o n L am san g va Bq m on T h a m v a n thuQC Khoa
T a m li hQc, T rtfdn g Dai hQc K hoa hQc X a hQi va N h a n van, Dai
hQc Q u o c gia H a NQi, thi co the noi la co n g v ie c tri lieu h a y th am
va n ciia hQ gan nhtf la n gan g nhau. T ro n g trtfd ng hQp nay, 70%
co n g viec cua hQ la g io n g nhau, va sinh v ien hai b<? m o n n a y co
trinh dQ th a m v a n v a tri lieu gan nhtf nhau. Stf k h a c n h a u ch u t it
d d ay la sinh vien bQ m o n L am sang hQc n a n g h o n ve cac phtfQng
p hap tri lieu v a sinh vien chii yeu den ca c b e n h vien ta m th an
thtfc tap. C on sinh vien b£> m on th a m van, hQ hQc n a n g h o n v e cac
k i n a n g T h a m v a n v a hQ chu yeu den cac cQ sd th a m v a n tro n g
CQng d o n g thtfc tap, v a lam q uen vd i nhieu loai h in h th a m van
k h a c n hau (th a m va n trtfc tiep, th a m va n q u a thtf, d ie n th oai,
chat). T u y nhien, v a n cai b a n g cir n h an h a y th a c si ta m li h o c, tot
n gh iep tai T rtfdn g Dai hQc k h o a hQc X a hQi v a N h a n van, Dai hQc
Q u o c gia H a NQi, xet ve lau dai, sinh vien thuQC Bq m o n L am
sang h a y th a m va n k h o n g the la m viec d linh vtfc n g h ien ciru h a y
kin h d o a n h tot nhtf sinh vien Bq m o n X a hQi h a y Q u a n tri kin h
d oanh, v a dieu n a y cu n g phai nhin ngtfQc lai. M a c dii sir p h a n h o a
ch u y en n g a n h cua sinh vien m d i d d an g b an dau, k h a c n hau
k h o a n g 36 0 g id hQc (24 tin chi cho m oi b<? m o n ). Co the noi. n g a y
doi vd i sinh vien tro n g cim g mQt khoa, ngtfdi h o c ch u y en n g a n h
th a m v a n v a la m sa n g co the la m cim g mQt co n g viec "nhtf n h a u ” -
thtfc h a n h trQ g iu p nhtfng roi loan tam li. C o n sinh vien cac bQ
m o n k h a c tr o n g kh oa, xet th eo cac m o n hQc dtfQc day h ie n nay.
thi h ieu q u a co n g v iec co the k h o n g b an g, neu nhir cac sin h vien
n a y m u o n la m co n g v ie c ch am chtfa ta m li cho ngtfdi co roi loan.
C H U O N G I: T h a m van tam If la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 29

2. Tham van va cong tac xa h$i

M §c du cac nhan vien cong tac xa hpi (can stf xa hQi) truyen
thong lam viec n h u nhting ngtfdi benh vtfc cho ngtfdi ngheo va tung
quan, nhtfng ngay tu1nam 1900 cach thtic tiep can trao doi tam tinh
vdi ngtfdi ngheo da dtfQc M ary Richmon xem nhtf la hinh thtic trQ
giup co hieu qua va tong ket thanh phtfQng phap trQ gitip ca nhan.
P hu ong phap nay da dtfQc dtfa vao chtfOng trinh dao tao nhan vien
trQ giup lam viec vdi ca nhan. T u y nhien van ton tai stf phan biet ve li
thuyet chu yeu gitia thac si cong tac xa hQi va thac si tham van, nhtfng
theo E.Neukrug (1999), hai vi tri nay ttfQng dong nhau h o n la khac
biet nhau. Vdi nhting khoa dao tao them v'e cong tac giam sat thtfc
hanh, cac nhan vien cong tac xa hQi co the hoat dQng nhtf mQt nha
tham van ho§c trd thanh nhan vien cong tac xa hQi lam sang dtfQc
cap phep. T u y nhien, vi ket qua dat dtfQc cua cong tac xa hQi truyen
thong la m a n g lai stf trQ giup cho nhting ngtfdi bj thiet thdi va lam
viec vdi gia dinh va he thong xa hQi nen cac nhan vien cong tac xa hQi
thtfdng dtfQc thue bdi cac dich v y ctiu trQ tre em, cac co quan bao cap
ciia chinh phu, h a y trong cac to chtic CQng dong, cac dich vu danh cho
gia dinh, thtic hanh trong cac benh vien, cac trung tam stic khoe tam
than h a y cac nha tam cho nhtfng ngtfdi vo gia ctf; nhtfng ngtfdi khac
co the lam viec trong vai tro cua ngtfdi quan li cac to chtic dich v y xa
hQi. Nhi'eu nhan vien cong tac xa hQi lam cong viec tri lieu tam li ca
nhan va cac lieu phap gia dinh trong to chtic, m a it lam viec nhtf chtic
danh cua mQt nha tham van hay nha tri lieu dQC lap tren cac doi
ttfQng co ton thtfOng tam li. V a cho du cac nhan vien cong tac xa hQi
dtfQc dao tao khai quat ve cac ki thuat tham van nhtfng hQ thtfdng
kh ong di sau vao linh vtfc tham van ngh'e - linh vtfc ddi hoi sti dtfng
thong thao nhieu h o n ve cac trac nghiem tam li.

III. DOI TlTONG, M UC DICH, NHIEM VU VA HIEU QUA CUA

THAM VAN

1. D oi trfpng ciia tham van

V d i ttf cach la mQt k h o a hQc, doi ttfQng cu a th a m va n la

n g h ie n ctiu ca c b ie u hien “k h o n g b inh th tfd n g ” tro n g nh an thtic
30 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

ha n h vi va cac n g u ye n n h an g a y ra ch u n g d cac ca nhan va n h o m

n gu di co k h o k h a n ta m li n h a m trQ g iu p cho hQ son g tot h o n . Co
the noi, th an chu v a nan d'e cua th a n chu ch inh la doi ttfQng
n g h ien cutf va thtfc h a n h giup dd cua th a m van.

D oi v d i lin h vtfc thtfc h a n h th a m v a n , k h i ca n h a n ho£c mQt

n h o m ngtfdi ca m th a y co v a n d'e m a k h o n g ttf g ia i q u y e t dtfQc,
nhtfng hQ lai co n h u cau dUQc g iu p d d mQt c a c h c h u y e n n g h ie p ,
thi hQ ca n d en n h a th a m van.

T h o n g thtfdng mQt ngtfdi noi rang Cuoc tham van dwefe goi
hQ d a n g co van d'e, dieu nay co nghia la la thanh cong khi than
ngtfdi do d an g k h o n g biet phai cam chii cam thay co the
nhgn nhtf th e nao, phai lam gi trtfdc dito'ng dau v&i van de
ciia minh ma khong can
mQt stf kien x a y ra vd i hQ. Nhtfng kinh
den siX trcf giup tiep theo
n ghiem , hieu b iet trtfdc d ay cua hQ v'e
ciia nha tham van hay le
van d'e d a n g x a y ra co the k h o n g giup gi
thuoc vao ngw&i khac
dUQc cho hQ. V i v£y hQ can den stf giup trong gidi quyet van de.
d d (co the la n h a th a m vain ch uyen
n g h iep h o a c kh o n g ). Trtfdc mQt stf viec, ngtfdi n a y co th e ca m
nh£n ran g v a n d'e la q u a ldn, ngtfdi k h a c thi cho ran g c h a n g co
va n d'e gi ca, ran g dd la ch uyen v d van. V i v£y, kh i g iu p d d th an
chu, nha th a m va n can tach b ach stf cam nh^n “co v a n d e ” cua
th an chu v a stf cam n h an “k h o n g co va n d'e” cua n h a th a m v a n
(Vain d'e n a y se dUQc x e m ki trong ph'an nan de cua th a n ch u d
chtfOng 3).

2. M uc dich cua tham. van

- M u c d ich ch u n g ciia tham van

• Cai tien, cu n g co (v'e m at sure kh oe tinh than) giu p th a n chu

s on g tot h on .

• N g a n ngira, tran h k h o n g de van d'e x a y ra toi te h o n .

• G iu p giai q uyet van d'e ctf the.

C H U O N G I: T h a m van t am If la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 31

• G iu p th a y doi hanh vi, nhan cach (lam giam h o a c b ien m at

trieu ch u n g va phat trien cac ki nang im g pho, giai q u yet van
de n h a m tao kh a nang thich nghi tot nhat tro n g m oi trtfdng
th an chu d a n g song). Dieu nay lien q uan den tri lieu ta m li.

- C a c m u c d eu cu the

• G iu p th a n chu giam b dt cac cam xu c tieu ctfc tro n g hoan

canh k h o k h a n va cam th a y thoai m ai khi tro ch u y en v'e nan d'e
cua m inh.

• G iu p th an chu tang them hieu biet v'e b a n th a n va h oa n

canh cua h(?; G iu p than chu biet chap nh^n nan d'e cua m inh
n h u no d a n g co.

• G iu p th a n chu dua ra cac quyet d inh lanh m a n h v a co kh a

na n g x irli dtfQc nan d'e.

• H u d n g dan th an chu thi hanh cac q uyet d inh cua hp v a co

kh a n a n g dtf p h o n g cac tinh h u d n g tUOng ttf x a y ra tro n g
ttfOng lai.

• C ac ca nh an khi co nhu cau trp giup tu y vao cac m u c dich

h o dat ra m a nha th a m van tien hanh hoat d q n g va xac d inh
th d i gian co n g v iec giu p do. M y c tieu th a m va n lu o n lu on
d u p e x a c d inh tir than chu va nha th a m v a n can n a m ro nhu
cau th a m v a n cua th an chu. V d i mQt so th an chu, stf trQ giup
d o n th u a n chi la giai to a cam xuc (dat m y c dich I). V i vay, viec
la n g n g h e th a n chu giai toa va sir d y n g k! n a n g th a u cam de
th a n chii th a y dUQc ton trQng, dUQc chap n h an la du. N h im g
vd i mQt so th a n chii khac, m u c tieu th a m va n k h o n g d on
th u an chi la giai toa ca m xiic, nhan biet van de cu a m inh, h a y
biet cach dtfa ra cac b ien p hap doi pho, m a h o n th e ntfa hQ can
th a y ddi h a n h vi. Do dd, nha th a m van phai d an h n hieu th di
g ia n va ca n n h a c cac phtfOng phap tiep can de giu p th an chu
dat dtfQc ca b o n m y c tieu th a m va n cua hQ.
32 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

T h a o lu a n ca c tin h h u o n g

1. Ve van de ai la ngitoi xac dinh muc dich cua cuqc tham van,
toi cho rang:
a. Do chinh la trach nhiem cua khach hang.
b. Do chinh la trach nhiem cua nha tham van.
c. Do la stf htfp tac giua khach hang va nha tham van.
d. Ccf sd tham van phai quyet dinh muc dich tham van cho khach hang,
e
2. Tham van va tri lieu nen tap trung vao:
a. Nhim g dieu ma khach hang da trai nghiem trong qua khuf.
b. Nhung dieu khach hang dang trai nghiem.
c. Nhimg no lye, phan dau ciia khach hang de htfdng ve ttfcrng lai.
d. Bat cirvan de gi ma khach hang muon.
e ............................................................................................
3. Toi cho rang nha tham van nen:
a. Chu dQng va co dinh hudng.
b. Chi mang tinh dinh hudng tUOng doi, de giup khach hang dinh
hudng cho minh.
c. La ngudi ma khach hang muon hQ nhu vay.
d. Dinh hudng hay khong dinh hudng, la phu thuQC vao kha nang
ttf dinh dinh hudng cua khach hang.
c.............................................................................................
4. Toi dat muc tieu tham van cho cac khach hang cua toi trtfdc
khi tien hanh viec tham van cho ho:
+ Dung + Sai + Vira dung, vira sai
Ldi giai thich:...............................................................................
5. Nhitng tieu chuan ciia toi dtfOc dat ra ngoai qua trinh tri lieu
cho khach hang:
+ Dung + Sai + Vira dung, vira sai
Ldi giai thich:............................................................................
C H U O N G I: T h a m van t am li la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 33

3. Nhi$m vu ciia tham van

- N h ie m vu ch u n g n h a t cua tham van

• X a c d jn h v a n d'e va ngu yen nhan g a y ra
• C h a n d oan, d an h gia, p han lo^i va n d'e:
- N h ie m vu cu the
• L am th it gian cam xu c cua
than chu: Khi than chu bj cang Kho khan khi thtfc
thang bcri nan d'e, nha tham hanh tham van
van lam thu gian cam xuc cua - Khong biet cach ditng
than chu bang cach lang nghe cuoc tham van nhw the
tich eye, co s y ung hQ va chap nao d eh ieu qua.
nh£n thai dQ cua than chu, ho -C a m thay that bai va
trQ va giup do de lam yen long kho xit khi than chii im
than chu, de h(? dUQc giai toa lang.
cam xuc. Khi can thiet, nha
tham van thyc hi$n mQt h? thong giup d a qua vi$c htfcfng
dan than chu tim den cac dich vu ho trQ v'e luat phap, chinh
sach xa hQi, y te, giao dye hoac cung cap thong tin lien quan
den s y htfQng lQi cua than chu de hQ dUQc hudng cac d;ch vy
ho trQ trong pham vi giup dQ cua nha tham van.
• G iu p than chii nhan dien d itg c van de, ca i thien n h itn g
su y n g h i tieu c itc k hon g h a p li: Thong qua vi£c tro chuyen
vdi than chu va nhtfng ngtfcri co lien quan (neu can), nha
tham van thu thap thong tin, sang Iq c cac nguyen vQng,
nhu cau ciia than chu; cung cap thong tin de giam thieu
nhtfng quan ni£m l£ch lac, nhtfng suy nghi khong dung;
giup than chu xac dinh van d'e quan trQng, phan m ang va
hoach dinh van d'e; giup than chu chiu trach nhi£m trtf6 c
van d'e cua minh va nhan biet ti'em nang cung nhtf han che
cua minh.
• G iu p than chu d ita ra ca c q u y e t d jn h tfu tien: T rtfdc mQt
nan de, than chu co the kho xac dinh vi£c ltfa chQn cac giai
phap, vi v£v, nha tham van co the cung than chu phan tich
nhim g kho khan, tim ra cac giai phap hanh dQng va cac
34 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

giai p h a p th a y the; giu p sang Iq c h£u q u a cua m oi q u y et

d inh dtfQc d u a ra v a stf th a y the cac giai phap; cu oi cung,
tim ra dtfQc cac giai p h a p hi?u qua. N h a th a m v a n h u d n g
dan th a n ch u dua ra cac q uyet d inh h a n h d<?ng cu th e va
biet cach q u a n li va n d'e.
• G iu p than chii co k e h o a c h thay d o i h a n h vi: Khi cac giai
p h a p da dtfQc ltfa chQn, nha th a m v a n k h u y e n kh ich hQ
thtfc hi$n cac ke h o a ch hQ d'e ra. G iu p hQ d a n h gia dUQc
nhtfng th a y doi tro n g nhan th u t, h a n h vi v a tr a n g bi cho
th a n chu cac k i n a n g son g p h u hQp de co th e th ich nghi vdi
h a n h vi h a y dieu ki£n mdi.

4. Hi$u qua ciia tham van

LQi ich m a th a n chu co dUQc khi di la m th a m v a n hi£n nay

k h o n g con la chu d'e tra n h cai d cac n u d e co ngh'e th a m v a n phat
trien. C ac n g h ien cutf cua H oa Ki tro n g h o n 40 n a m q u a v'e vai tro
cua th a m va n cho th ay, hi<?u q u a cua th a m v a n dtfQc x e m xet tu"
vi£c x a c d in h so ltfQng cac than chu dtfQc cai thi£n sau th a m van.
T h e o S exton (1993), ket qua n ghien cutf tren th a n chu v a nha
th a m v a n da th u dtfQc nhtfng con so gan ttfQng d u o n g n h a u d cac
nghien cutf k h a c nhau. Hi£u qua th a m va n ch o th a y x a p xi 22%
th a n chu co dtfQc lQi ich d ang ke, 4 3 % co stf th a y doi v^tfa phai, va
27% dat dtfQc mQt so cai thi£n nhat dinh.
Doi v d i cac q u o c gia co dich vu th a m v a n p h a t trien. chi can
th an chu y thu"c r 5 nhu cau can dtfQc th a m va n va san sa n g m u o n
th a y doi, thi n h a th a m va n gidi co the d o n g h a n h c u n g th a n chu
tro n g vi£c tim k ie m n g u o n n a n g ltfc tu" ch inh b en tr o n g con ngtfdi
th an chu. T h a y vi dtfa ra ldi k h u y e n h a y giai q u y et v a n de cho
th an chu, n h a th a m v a n se htfdng dan th an ch u ttf tim ra cach giai
q uyet v a n d'e co h i?u q u a nhat tron g dieu ki£n va k h a n a n g cua
th a n chu, vi m u c tieu cua th a m va n la giu p cho th an ch u trd
th a n h ngtfdi ttf "dieu tri" cho chinh m inh.
Doi vdi C. Rogers, h a y A. Ellis, nha tham van k h o n g th a y doi
niem tin cua than chu bang cach "tav nao" hQ, m a giu p than chu
nhan thav cach su y nghi, cam nhan tieu eye cua than chu anh htfang
C H U O N G I: T h a m van t am li la mo t khoa hoc ling dung 35

nhu" the nao den hanh vi cua ho; nha tham van giup than chu nh§n
ra hoan canh cua minh va khuyen khich than chu dUOng dau mQt
cach chu dong vdi hoan canh de d$t den sy" mdi me trong suy nghi
va trong cuqc song. Cac nha tham van tin rang chi khi nao than chu
nhan ra dUQc vi£c minh la nan nhan trong hoan canh cua chinh
minh; khi than chu hoc dU Q c cach phe phan nhung niem tin, gia trj,
y nghi va ca s y thifa nhan cua minh, trd thanh ngudi co the kiem
soat dUQc cuoc song cua ban than, thi khi do se t^o nen s y thay doi
tich eye trong nh|n thuC va hanh vi cua chinh than chu.
Co the noi, thong qua tham van, nha tham van co the hudng
dan than chu h oac cach thay the suy nghi khong co ldi bang suy
nghi m a n g tinh xay dyng, tich eye hon. Neu than chu trudc day cam
thay kh o khan trong vi£c xac dinh va boc lo nhu ng cam xuc vui, gi£n
du, sd, toi loi..., thi vi£c tham van co the giup than chu hoc cach lam
the nao de b oc lo cam xuc tieu eye va t y chu hanh vi. Neu than chu
cam thay kho khan khi can de dat nhung n h u cau chinh dang cua
minh, thong qua tham van, than chu kham pha ra nhung cach hanh
xir m d i th ay the va t y tin trong vi£c bay to nhu cau cua minh... do
chinh la hi<?u qua cua tham van.

T u y nhien, n g u d i ta van canh bao rang neu cac n h a th a m van

k h o n g th u d n g x u ye n trau doi p h am chat va n a n g ly c ch u y en m on
thi ho co th e la m anh h u d n g tieu eye tdi than chu. M a t khac, co
k h o n g it va n de n h a y cam, tinh te m a n gay ca p hap lu at cu ng kh o
co the ch am tdi. Vi dy: khi nha th am van s u d y n g m ot p h u o n g
p h a p th a m van, h oac m ot trac n ghiem tam li nao do vd i th a n chu,
neu no k h o n g p hu hdp, g a y h^i cho than chu thi k h o n g phai lu c
nao n g u d i ta cu n g chi ra dUQc loi cua nha th a m van.

K h am p h a b an th an va th ay doi niem tin, thdi q uen h a n h

d o n g doi hoi s y kien nhan co ki luat. Tien trinh th a m v a n doi khi
chi can vai buoi, doi khi can nhieu thdi gian n h u vai th ang, vai
nam , vi v a y co m ot so thdi diem than chu se cam th a y va n d'e co
ve "sang sua" h o n , tot h on , n h im g co n h u n g luc co th e th an chu
con th a y toi t<? h o n tr u d c khi th am van va doi khi cu o c th a m van
k h o n g he co s y tien b o nao.
36 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M U

T h a m v a n b a n th a n no chi la m ot co n g cu m a n h a t h a m va n
sir d y n g n h S m g iu p ch o th a n chu co dUQc n h im g k i n a n g de
d u o n g d a u vcft n h u n g rac roi v a thu* th a ch , n h u n g trd n g a i m a ho
g a p p h a i tr o n g thtfc te. N e u q u a tr in h th a m v a n th a n h co n g,
th a n ch u se th u n h a n dtfQc nhi'eu h o n la vi£c giai q u y e t d o n
th u a n m o t n a n d'e c y the.
X et tir n a n g l y c cua nha th a m van, hi£u q u a th a m va n danh
cho th a n chu se k h o co dtfQc (neu k h o n g noi la th a t bai) kh i nha
th a m v a n n hin v a n d'e ciia th an chii xuat phat tir k in h n g h ie m ban
th a n de dtfa ra ldi kh u yen ; chat v a n th a n chu; th u y e t p h y c , ap dat
y kien len th a n ch u h a y nha th a m va n chi t i p tr u n g v a o nan d'e
cua th a n chu, m a k h o n g nhin van d'e ciia h o m ot cach b a o quat
h o n , do la con ngtfdi th an chu vdi nhtfng n iem tin, h a n h vi co hull
tro n g vi§c giai q u y et n h im g k h o kh&n cu a ho. N h u n g q u a n diem
trQ giu p sau d a y se anh h u d n g tieu ctfc d en hi£u q u a ciia qua
trin h th a m van.

- D ifa ra ld i k h u y en
Ldi k h u y e n la stf gdi y nen la m gi, Quy dieu dao dire nghe
la m n h u th e n a o de xac djnh phtfdng trcf giup cho rang than
h u d n g h a n h d o n g 1. Bat cu1 ai cu n g co chii la ngit&i ra quyet
the d u a ra ldi k h u y e n m a k h o n g can dinh va chiu trach
h oc h oi q u a trtfdng ldp. T ro n g khi dd, nhi$m ve ket qua hanh
th a m v a n la m ot ngh'e nghiep, no doi dong ciia ho. Vi vay nha
hoi m ot q u a trin h d ao tao can b an co tham van khong nen
ch on Iqc d ngtfdi h o c n h a m giu p giai bao than chii lam gi va
q uyet cac n g u y e n n h a n “g o c r e ” cua lam nhir the nao.
v a n d'e m a con n g u d i g a p phai.
T u y nhien, n h ieu n g u d i co nan d'e can trQ g iu p va n g a y ca
nhutig n g u d i b in h th u d n g tro n g xa hoi h o de co q u a n ni£m ran g
th a m v a n la cho ldi k h u yen , cho h u d n g giai quyet. V i va v, nha
th a m v a n th u d n g bj h ieu nh'am n h u m ot ngtfdi dtfa ra n h u n g ldi
k h u y e n h o a c cac gdi y cho th an chii de giai q u y e t cac v a n de ciia
ho (g ion g nhtf co van).

1 Hoang Phe, Tir dien Tieng Viet, NXB Da Nang, 2000.

C H U O N G I: T h a m van ta m If la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 37

Khi nha th a m van dtfa ra ldi kh u yen h a y b a o cho th an chu

each giai q u y et va n de, ho co the giup than chu giai th oa t dtfQc stf
doi m | t vefi nhting can g th an g tam thofi. T u y nhien, cach n a y se
k h ie n th a n chu lo th u o c vao nha th am van, th an chu se k h o n g
th a y dtfQc va n de cua m inh mQt cach thau dao. V e lau dai, than
chu k h o co kh a n a n g dtfOng dau vdi va n de cua m inh. V a quan
trQng h o n , th a n chu trd nen k h o n g chju trach n h i?m ve b an than
va h a n h dQng cua m inh.
Vi$c dtfa ra ldi k h u y en chuyen tai tdi th an chu m ot th ong
di£p rang: “T oi h ieu va n de cua anh/chj va biet cach phai x t i l i no
nhu1 the nao. A n h / c h i la m sao co the giai q u y et dtfQc van de dd ” .
Khi n h a th a m v a n noi than chu nen lam gi va lam nhtf the nao da
g a y cho th a n chu stf that vQng, chan nan, va the hi?n stf th ieu ton
trQng k h a n a n g ttf giai quyet van de cua th a n chu.
V i dtf ve mQt m a u doi thoai gitia n h a th a m v an va t h a n chu:
- T h a n chu: C ti va o btia an, nhin th a y no la toi k h o n g sao co
th e n u ot dtfQc. Toi chi m u on ve que...
- N h a th a m van: Du the nao thi b ac cu n g phai an, b o an la
k h o n g tot. Bac k h o n g nen chi vi gian con m a h u y hoai stic
k h o e cua m inh. 6 tuoi cua b a c bo an se bi su y sup stic
kh oe. Bac se bi om!
D o a n doi th oai tren cho th a y nha th a m va n k h o n g hieu than
chu, anh ta chi tap tru n g dtfa ra ldi kh u yen , khi n gh i rang than
chu k h o n g h ieu b o an anh htfdng the nao den stic k h o e con ngtfdi.
V e p h ia nha th a m van, cho th an chu ldi k h u y en noi len stf chu
q u a n va n o n g vQi tro n g vi£c gitip than chu giai q uyet van de. M at
khac, no cho th a y n h a th a m van k h o n g thtfc stf hieu th an chu va
k h o n g tin ttfdng va o kh a n a n g cua th an chu. Cac nha th a m van
k h o n g dtfQc dao tao thtfdng dtfa ra nhting ldi k h u y e n v d i mtfc
dich tran an th an chu. Thtfc chat do chinh stf ttf tran an cua nha
th a m van.
H o n ai het, th an chii la ngtfdi biet ro nhat v a n de cua m inh.
V i vay, nha th a m v a n k h o n g nen dtfa ldi kh u yen h a y d inh htfdng
v a n de ciia th a n chii. T u y nhien, trong qua trinh th a m van, vi£c
38 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

dtfa ra ldi k h u y e n doi khi cu ng can thiet, d | c bi?t khi th an chu

k h o n g co k h a n a n g x e m xet va n d'e cua m in h do co roi loan tam li,
h a y th an chu la tre em... T ro n g tinh h u o n g nay, nha th a m va n co
the sir d u n g ki th u a t cho ldi kh u yen . C an ltfu y rang, vi£c nha
th a m van cu n g cap th o n g tin m a n g tinh k h a ch q u a n k h a c vd i vi£c
cho ldi k h u y e n h a y b a o than chu lam gi. C o th e dtfa ra vi du ve
cach nha th a m van tir choi cho ldi k h u y en kh i th a n chii co bieu
hi£n 1<? th u o c va o n h a th a m van:
- N h a th a m van: T oi biet chi d a n g cam th a y k h o k h a n trong
vi£c dtfa ra m ot q uyet djnh d u n g dan va o lu c nay. T u y nhien,
k h o n g ai co the cho chi ldi kh u yen h a y q u y et d in h th a y chi dtfQc.
Chi co chi rndi la ngtfdi hieu ro m in h thtfc stf m o n g m u o n gi. Toi
se cu n g chi p h a n tich nhtfng m at m anh, m at yeu ciia tim g van d'e.
Con ltfa ch on giai p hap va thtfc hi<?n no nhtf the nao la q u y et dinh
cua chi. Toi se d o n g h a n h cim g chi tro n g suot q u a trin h th a o gd
k h o k h a n de v a n d'e ciia chi dtfQc giai q uyet tot nhat. T oi tin ttfdng
vao k h a n a n g cua chi.
- C h a t van than chu
Chat van la hoi can ke va yeu cau tra ldi day dii nhtfng dieu
can tim hieu. Trong tham van, mQt nguyen tac quan trQng la ton
trQng than chii vo dieu ki?n, ton trQng than chii nhtf mQt con
ngtfdi co gia tri. Thai do chap nhan than chii phai dtfQc the hi£n
qua cac ki nang tro chuyen, trong do ki nang hoi nham giup than
chu sang to van d'e cua minh, thong qua do than chii y thirc va
chap nhan thtfc trang minh dang co. Dieu nay khac vdi vi£c nha
tham van chat van de khai thac thong tin theo cach ma nha tham
van cho la can phai the de giup than chii. ki nang hoi khon g don
thuan chi la van d'e dat cau hoi sao cho thu thap dtfQc nhieu thong
tin, ma quan trong hon la khong gav them ton thtfQng va khong
lam xao tr<?n tam can ciia than chu. Dac bi?t la khong the khai
thac thong tin vdi giQng ciia mQt luat stf hay quan toa.
Khi n h a th a m va n chat va n than chii de co th o n g tin. co gang
la m cho va n d'e ciia than chii dtfQc sang to, thi co n g h ia la ve vo
thirc nha th a m va n da b oc 1q stf k h o n g chap nh an , k h o n g hai long
ve va n d'e v a con ngtfdi cua than chii. Stf chat van co the con gav
C H U O N G I: Th am van tam If la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 39

ra thai dQ de doa lam tang lo lang, sQ hai cho than chu. Dieu nay
lam cho th an chu cam th a y k h o n g dtfQc lang nghe, k h o n g dtfQc
cam th o n g va nhtf v a y se dan den stf p hon g v£, co m inh cua than
chu trtfdc nha th a m va n va co the tien trinh th a m van se k h ep lai!
- C h i tap tru n g vao nan de cua than chii
N an d'e (van d'e nan giai) luon xuat hien tro n g cuqc song. T u y
nhien, k h o n g phai ca nhan nao cung giai q uyet tot nan d'e cua
m inh. Vi vay, ho co nhu cau tim kiem stf trQ giu p nha tir tham
van. V d i nha th a m va n k h o n g dtfQc dao tao ch u yen n ghi?p hoac
k h o n g co kin h n g h iem , ho se chi tap trun g vao nan d'e cua than
chii m a k h o n g de y nhi'eu den con ngtfdi tao ra nan d'e do. Khi nha
th a m va n chi tap tru n g vao nan d'e, dieu n a y g io n g nhtf chi tap
tru n g vao mQt tri£u ch im g cu the. Bang mQt so tac dQng, tri?u
ch im g co th e ta m th di lang xu ong nhtfng m a m m o n g cua no van
con do va khi co dieu ki£n no lai tai phat. N htf v a y nha th a m van
se k h o n g g iu p cho th an chu co cQ hQi ttf kh a m p ha dtfQc b an than
m inh, th a n chu k h o n g y thirc dtfQc con ngtfdi m inh co lien quan
nhtf th e nao d en nan de. V a nhtf v | y , lan sau anh ta lai tiep t y c 1?
thuQC va o stf g iu p dd.

T h e o q u a n d ie m ciia A n th o n y Yeo (2005), th a m va n can tap

tru n g va o con ngtfdi th an chu chir k h o n g chi tap tru n g vao nan d'e
ciia th an chii. Vi£c tap trun g vao nan d'e de k h ien n h a th a m v a n co
k h u v n h htfdng xtf li van d'e cho than chii: “N eu nan d'e cua than
chii co n g u ye n nh an tir tai chinh, ch u n g ta de co xu htfdng giup
d d lien q u a n d en giai phap tim vi£c lam , h a y htfdng dan tim mQt
n g u o n tai chinh. Dieu nay co the giup ich cho anh ta mQt thdi
gian ngan, n h im g ch u n g ta da k h o n g quan ta m du de h ieu tai sao
anh ta lai roi v a o h o a n canh kh o k h a n v'e tai chinh. N htf v a y
c h im g ta se k h o n g co cQ hoi giu p anh ta tran h lap lai k h o k h a n
tro n g ttfQng la i”i.

- T h u y et p h u c , dp cftff y Jcien len than chu

T h u y e t p h u c la vi£c la m kh ien ngtfdi kh ac phai th a y doi theo

y ciia hQ. D u n g trtfdc mQt van d'e, ngtfdi th u yet p h u c n hin va n d'e

1Anthony Yeo, Ban tag giup dd, Sach da dan, trang 56.
40 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

cua doi tifgrng b a n g con m at cua ho, nghi b a n g y n gh i cu a ho

cho no la d u n g th eo q u a n d ie m cua m inh. T r o n g th a m va n , th u y e t
p h u c k h o n g d em lai hi£u qua vi nha th a m v a n d a k h o n g nhin va n
de cua th a n ch u nhu1 ch in h cach th a n chu nhin, k h o n g q u a n tam
xem th a n ch u ca m th a y gi. N h a th a m va n k h i co xu hirdng th u yet
phtfc th a n chu se tin ttfdng va o q u a n d ie m v a k in h n g h ie m cua
b a n than, n e n de p hu n h a n h a y b o q u a q u y e t d jn h cu a th a n chu.
T ro n g kh i n g u y e n ta c dao du'c n ghe th a m v a n y e u cau n h a th a m
va n k h o n g dtfQc dtfa ra ldi th u yet phtfc de th a n ch u la m th eo y
m u on, th eo q u a n d ie m chu q uan cua m inh.

V a n de n a n giai cu a th a n chu chi d u y n h a t t h u o c v e th a n

chu. Stf vi$c x a y ra d th a n chu n a y se k h o n g g io n g v d i nhting
dieu x a y ra d th a n ch u k h a c. Do dd, cach tie p c | n cu a n h a th a m
v a n ddi v d i m d i th a n chu c u n g p h ai la cach d u y n h a t. G ia i q u y e t
va n de cu a th a n ch u th e o q u a n d ie m cu a n h a t h a m v a n , thtfc
ch at la ca ch la m th o a m a n nh u cau cu a n h a t h a m va n . C a c h li
giai m o t v a n de rie n g th eo q u a n d ie m cu a n g u d i n g o a i cuqc
th tfd n g dtfa tren n htin g ch u a n mtfc xa hoi - do la m o t c h u a n mtfc
n h a m giai q u y e t v a n de cho nhi'eu ngtfdi. T r o n g k h i t h a m v a n ca
n h a n la m o t q u a trin h lin h h oat, m e m deo, ddi h o i n h a t h a m v a n
di c u n g v d i th a n ch u, tin h tien th eo ca m x u c cu a th a n ch u , chti
k h o n g p h ai la ap d at y chi, tu" ttfdng tti b e n n g o a i. C a c ca th a m
v a n th a n h co n g ch u a b a o g id dUQc thtfc h i?n tti stf th u y e t phiic,
ap dat q u a n d ie m tti b e n ngoai.

C ac nha th a m van tren the gidi cung dat ra nhi'eu cau hoi k h a c
nhau lien q uan den hi£u qua tham van. Vi dii nhu”. Li£u co phai
m oi va n d'e cua than chu deu dUQc giai quyet b a n g th a m v a n ? Li£u
dich vai th a m van co dUQc binh dang ddi vdi tat ca cac n h o m xa hoi
co ldi son g va va n h oa khac nhau? Cac p h a m chat d ao dtic va nang
ltfc ca nh an cua nha th a m van thtfc te anh hirdng nhir the nao den
qua trinh th a m van? Xet trong hoan canh th am va n d Vi?t N a m ,
khi hoat d o n g th am van chira dirge quan li chat che bdi p h a p luat
thi ai/ to chtic nao se dting ra bao v£ than chu (ngirdi m at tien. mat
thdi gian v a co th e con bi ton thirong tam li do la m th a m van ) \ a
bao v<? nha th a m van khi co tranh chap? Day la cau hoi d an g de cac
nganh trd giup cim g q uan tam.
CHlfCJNG I: T h a m van t am If la mo t khoa hoc ufng dung 41

IV. cAc H iNH th C T c t h a m van

Dtfa va o doi tirin g , khach the va tinh chat cua dich vtf th am
van, ngtfdi ta co the nhan di£n cac hinh thifc th am va n k h a c nhau.
Vi dtf, can cu" vao doi ttfQng cua stf trQ giup, ch u n g ta co the th ay
ngtfdi lam th a m va n dtfQc phan hoa v'e ch u yen m on k h a sau, nhtf
th a m va n h o c dtfdng (Cac van d'e cua h oc sinh lien quan den
trtfdng h o c va stf trtfdng thanh cua ca nhan); th a m va n v'e
H IV /A ID S ; th a m va n v'e stic khoe sinh san, sure kh oe tinh dtfc;
th a m va n b a o hanh; th am van cac van d'e v'e lam dtfng cac chat
g a y n gh ien (nhtf m a tuy, rtfQu); tham van v'e hon nhan gia dinh;
th a m va n tuoi gia; th a m van stic khoe tam than v.v... (M ot so chu
d'e tro n g n h o m nay se dtfQc trinh b ay sau tro n g chtfOng II - Phan
noi v'e hoat dQng th a m van d Vi?t Nam ).
C a c h in h thtic th a m van co th e dtfQc p h a n loai dtfa tr e n tinh
ch a t cu a h o a t d o n g th a m van. V d i cach n hin nay, co th e chia
th a m v a n th e o h in h thtic trtfc tiep - H in h thtic ttfQng ta c trtfc
tie p m£t d oi m$t gitia nha th a m va n v a th a n chu. D a y la h in h
thtic th a m v a n p h o b ie n khi th a n chu v a n h a th a m v a n ngoi
tr o n g c u n g mQt p h o n g . Do co th e dtfQc trtfc tie p n g h e v a n hin
n h a u (vd i d ie u k i? n th a n chu k h o n g bi k h u y e t tat v'e n h in h o a c
n g h e ) n e n hi£u q u a th a m va n thu dtfQc la k h a cao, k h o n g to n
th d i g ia n v a no ta o c o hQi cho nhting p h a n h oi ttic thi v a hai
b e n n h | n b ie t dtfQc nhtfng bieu hi£n phi n g o n n gti cua c 0 the.
T h a n ch u t r o n g th a m va n trtfc tiep co th e la mQt ca n h a n , mQt
n h o m ngtfdi, h a y mQt gia dinh. H inh thtic th a m v a n g ia n tiep -
th a m v a n t h o n g q u a cac phtfOng ti£n tr u n g gian, nhtf q u a di£n
th o a i, v ie t th tf h a y th a m van trtfc tu y e n (sti dtfng m a n g
in te r n e t). Dtfdi d a y c h u n g toi xin gid i thi£u mQt ca c h s o ltfQc
n h a t v a i h in h thtic th a m v a n th tfd n g dtfQc sti d u n g rQng rai d
ca c xa hQi co d ich vu th a m va n p h a t trien. V i du nhtf tr o n g cac
h in h thtic t h a m v a n g ia n tiep thi th a m v a n q u a m a n g in te r n e t
dtfQc sti d u n g k h a p h o b ie n d cac ntfdc co h ? th o n g d ich vu
in te r n e t p h a t trie n . C o n tr o n g cac d ich v y th a m v a n trtfc tiep,
ca b a h in h thtic nhtf th a m v a n ca n han, th a m v a n n h o m v a gia
d in h d e u p h a t tr ie n tren th e gidi.
42 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M II

l. Tham van qua mang

T h a m v a n q u a m a n g (O n lin e co u n s e lin g ) la m ot h in h thtic

th a m va n gian tiep. N o dtfdc d inh
n g h ia la vi£c thtfc h a n h ngh'e th a m
va n v a c u n g cap th o n g tin dtftfc dien
ra th o n g q u a m a n g in te rn et gitia
n ha th a m v a n v a th a n chu d hai noi
k h a c n h a u v a th a n chii ttf xac d inh
dia d iem v a th d i gian b o c 1q va n de
ciia ho. N g a y tti khi m d i xu at hi?n,
th a m v a n m a n g da g a y ra nhi'eu
tran h cai v'e tinh hi£u q u a cu n g nhu"
tinh dao dtic cu a loai h in h trgr giup Online Counselor
nay. T h a m v a n m a n g k h o n g phu w av v v .sq u id o o .co m
hgfp vd i nhting va n d'e v'e lam d u n g
tinh due, b a o h a n h , roi loan an u ong, roi loan ta m th a n , nhting
n g u d i co y tu d n g ttf sat, giet n g u d i h a y la m d u n g tre e m (P ing
field, 1999). Dii bi p h a n doi rat nhi'eu n h u n g th a m v a n m a n g van
to n tai va n g a y ca n g phat trien h o n c u n g v d i stf p h a t trie n ciia
c o n g n g h e th o n g tin.
T re n th e gidi, dich vu dtfQc biet d en s d m n h a t tr o n g v i?c
cu n g cap ldi k h u y e n v'e tam th a n true tu y e n la “H a y h o i B a c
E z r a ”, m ot dich vu m ien phi d an h cho cac sinh v ien d D ai h oc
C orn e ll d Ith aca, N e w York. “H a y h o i B a c E z r a ” (dat ten th eo
E zra C orn ell, n g u d i san g lap ra Dai h o c C o rn e ll) dtfQc th a n h lap
b d i J e r r y Feist, lu c do la G ia m d oc cac D ich vu T a m li, v a S te v e
W o ro n a , d ich vu n a y da dirge tiep tu c thtfc hi£n tti th a n g 9 n a m
1 9 8 6 1.
H o a t d o n g th a m v a n q u a in te rn e t vd i n h tin g h in h thtic ket
noi d a c trtfng b a o g o m thtf dien tti. noi c h u y e n trtfc tu y e n . d ie n
d an v a loai h in h k h a c. T ti nhtfng n a m 19 9 0 , v d i stf x u a t h ien

1 http://cuinfo.comell.edu Dialogs E Z R A . Dan theo Lull Thi Lich, Danh gia rue
khach hang ve hoat dong tit van ciia trang web Tam sir ban tre, luan van thac
Tam li hoc, 2008.
C H U O N G I: T h a m van tam li la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 43

p h o b ie n cu a in te rn e t, tri lieu da ch u y en tu" ra n h g id i m at doi

m a t h a y q u a d ien th o a i tdi m ot la n h dia m d i d au dtfdc d at ten
la “ tri lieu m a y t i n h ” b d i L ago (19 9 6 ), h a y sau do dtfdc b ie t den
nhi'eu h o n la th a m v a n e -m ail (th u d ien ttf), th a m v a n trtfc
tu y e n , th a m v a n tren w e b h a y th a m v a n in te rn et. C a ch thirc
g ia o tie p n a y c u n g co nhtfng tfu d ie m cua v ie t thtf, n g o a i ra no
co n d ie m m a n h d ie n h in h la toe do tru y e n tin, p h a n h oi n h a n h
(G o s s v a c o n g stf, 2 0 0 1). N htfng tfu d ie m k h a c la k h a n a n g gtfi
nhtfng ttf li?u m o t each n h a n h c h o n g h a y nhtfng v a n b a n ttf viet
h a y d ie n th e o m a u , d tfdng dan tdi nhtfng tr a n g w e b htfu ich,
k h a n a n g tie p ca n v d i nhtfng ch u y en gia s o n g d xa, d u y tri lien
lac v d i n h a tri lieu kh i di xa kh oi n h a h a y c 0 q u a n , th d i gian tu y
th u o c v a o n h a t h a m v a n va th an chu, v a co th e stf d u n g b ieu
ttfQng ca c k h u o n m a t ca m xu c de the h ie n ca m x u c cu a m in h . O
H o a Ki, n a m 2 0 0 0 da co tdi 250 tra n g w e b th a m v a n , tri lieu co
td i 4 0 0 n h a th a m v a n m ang.
Theo W allb an k (1997), tham van qua hinh thirc viet th u co
mQt so tfu diem sau:
- C o cQ hoi de b o c 1q nhtfng su y nghi, cam x u c v a giai toa
nhtfng v a n de tam li khi ch im g d an g len cao trao.
- Viet thtf co the dtfQc thtfc hien vao bat cir luc nao, nhtf vao
buoi dem khi bon tre da di ngu va vQ/chong khong d ben
canh.
- T h tf co th e v iet tiep ttf c sau khi da ngutfg nhi'eu ngay, tu'an
h a y th a n g .
- T h a n chii chii d o n g dtfQc th d i gian.
- G ia m nhtfng cam xu c bi kirn nen b a n g cach v iet ra tren
g ia y nhtfng s u y nghi, y ttfdng, cam xu c v a nhtfng m oi
q u a n tam .

- Biet ra n g n h a th a m va n se tra ldi co th e g iu p cho qua

trin h tien trien ciia th a n chii va dtfdc bi mat.

T h a m v a n trtfc tu v e n la h in h thirc th a m v a n m a d do nha

th a m v a n v a th a n chii thtfc hien q u a trin h th a m v a n q u a ca c hinh
thirc ket noi trtfc tu y e n cua m a n g internet. Co th e la p h o n g chat
44 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

(ch at ro o m ), noi c h u y e n q u a he th o n g tr u y e n tai a m th a n h

(voice ch at), h in h a n h (w e b ca m ), h o a c co th e k e t hQp ca b a hinh
thirc tren. C h a t la m o t su1 p h a t trien xa hOn cu a th a m va n m ang.
N o ch o p h e p tr u y e n ca v a n b an , ldi noi va h in h a n h gitfa nhufng
ngtfdi sir d u n g m a y tinh. De d u y tri m u’c do an to a n ttfQng doi
n h a m tr a n h ngtfdi k h a c va o ch at ro o m tr o n g su o t q u a trin h trj
lieu, chi n h u n g ngtfdi tr o n g m ot d a n h sach rie n g nhtfng th a n h
vie n dtfdc m d i b d i Y a h o o G ro u p m d i co th e th a m g ia n h u la nha
tri lieu h a y th a n ch u d u y nhat. D iem lQi cu a h e t h o n g n a y la nha
tri lieu va th a n ch u co the noi c h u y e n n h u kh i gQi dien. D ich vtf
n a y co phi h o a c m ien phi va cho p h e p k h a c h h a n g noi ch u y en
vd i n h a tri lieu tir b at cir n o i nao tren th e gid i. T htfc ch a t th a m
v a n q u a d ien th o a i h a y q u a in te rn et chi k h a c v d i th a m v a n trtfc
tiep v'e phUQng tien tru y e n tin va cach thirc tr u y e n tai t h o n g tin.
T h a n chii co th e ke t noi dUQc vd i nha th a m v a n m a n g k h i h o co
ke t noi in te rn e t v a co the tru y cap dtfQc va o he th o n g th a m van
m a n g (R oss, 2 0 0 0 ) 1.
U u d ie m cua h in h thirc th a m v a n trtfc tu y e n noi r ie n g va
th a m v a n q u a m a n g in te rn et noi ch u n g la tin h k h u y e t d a n h ciia
th a n chu. De th a m gia th a m va n trtfc tu y en , th a n chii chi can
d a n g n h a p mQt tai k h o a n vd i mQt bi d an h m a k h o n g ca n p hai
kh a i b a o d a n h tin h thtfc cu a m inh. V i vay, th a n chii co th e ttf b o c
b a c h dtfQc nhtfng dieu m in h m u o n chia se m a it co stf p h o n g ve
h o n . T in h vo d a n h g iu p k h a ch h a n g g ia m ca m g ia c xa u h o khi
phai b o c 1q b a n th an. M a t kh ac, stf tien lg i con th e h ien d cho
k h a c h h a n g co th e g a p nha th a m va n b a t cir lu c n a o h o d a n g
n h a p v a o tr a n g w e b m a k h o n g can h en trtfdc. N h tfn g t h o n g tin
trao doi trtfc tu y e n co the dtfQc ltfu gitf lai mQt ca ch de d an g.
Dieu n a y co th e g iu p ich cho qua trin h th eo doi ca ciia n h a th a m
va n va q u a trin h g ia m sat. T u y nhien, d ay c u n g la mQt m a t han

1 http://groups.yahoo.com, Stephen Palmer. A Rational Emotive Behavioral Approach

to Face-to-face, Telephone and Internet Therapy and Coaching: A Case Studv. Journal
ofThe Assocation for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Volume 11 Number 1 2004.
12-22 (LT bien dich, trong bai "Phan loai tham van theo cac phutTng titjn truyen thons
tin", Tuvantamly.com.\n).
C H U O N G I: T h a m van tam If la m o t khoa hoc ting dung 45

che. T h a n ch u co th e lull th o n g tin v'e ca th a m v a n v a bi 1q. Khi

do, tin h b a o m a t th o n g tin cu n g k h o n g dirge d am b a o v a nam
n g oa i ta m k ie m soat cua nha th a m van.
T u y nhien , th a m v a n trtfc tu yen cu n g co n h im g d ie m han
che. M a t h a n ch e d e th a y n hat cua th a m va n trtfc tu y en la k h o n g
nh in th a y dtfQc nhau . N h a th a m va n chi co th e dtfa v a o cac tir
dirge viet ra ciia k h a ch h a n g m a k h o n g th e d o c dirge n g o n ngir
c o the, k h o n g th e x e m k h a ch h a n g th e h ien ca m x u c nhtf the
nao. T u y n hien, v d i stf p hat trien cua co n g n g h e in te rn et thi
ngtfdi ta co th e sir dtfng w e b c a m (phtfOng tien tru y e n h in h anh
q u a in te rn e t) de ho tr g cho qua trinh trao doi th o n g tin gitfa nha
th a m v a n v a th a n chu. N go a i ra, viec viet th o n g tin co k h a n a n g
g a y ra stf ro ri, p h a t tan th o n g tin mQt each k h o n g chu dinh. C ac
n h a th a m vain m a n g co th e k h o n g co n h a y ca m v'e v a n h o a cua
k h a c h h a n g (F ra m e , 1997).
Hinh thirc tham van trtfc tuyen can rat nhi'eu thdi gian de co
the hieu dirge van d'e thtfc stf cua khach hang. Do nha tham van
k h on g the quan sat dirge nhimg cir chi phi ngon ngir cua than
chii, nen ldi noi cua nha tham van va than chii doi khi khap
khieng, hoi mQt dang tra ldi mot neo. Mat khac, nha tham van
khon g kiem soat dirge trang thai tam li cua ngtfdi dirge giup dd -
h g dang cam thay gi, dang con m uon viet tiep hay da dirng lai
roi. T h a m van m ang it co stf rang buQc, than chu de dang dirng
ho$c ngat qua trinh lam viec trong khi tien trinh giup dd co the
can nhieu thdi gian hon nira.
H in h thirc th a m va n trtfc tu y en k h o sir dtfng n h u n g k i th u at
tr o n g th a m va n , tri lieu. V i dtf nhtf cac b ai ta p t h u gian, b ai tap
ttfd n g tu g n g ... N e u sir diing vo ice chat h a y w e b c a m co th e ho tr g
n h a th a m v a n tr o n g q u a trin h htfdng dan th a n chu n h im g no van
co n h im g can tr d v'e m at giao tiep. T in h b a o m at cu a in te rn et
c u n g la n h tfg c d ie m can n h a c tdi. N o co the d u g c cai th ie n b a n g
ca ch sir dtfng m a t m a, n h im g n g u d i ta k h o n g the m d tai lieu neu
k h o n g d u g c c u n g ca p m at ma. T u y nhien, nhtfng ngtfdi sir dtfng
d ich v y th a m v a n q u a m a n g cu n g can dirge ca n h b a o v e n g u y c0
bi d a n h cap t h o n g tin b d i cac h a c k e r cho du da d u g c b a o m at.
46 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

Nam 20 0 3 , n h o m cac n h a n g h ie n ciru H e in le n , W e lfe l,

R ic h m o n d & R a k da tim h ieu v e m u’c do tu a n th u h ird n g dan
thirc h a n h n g h e n g h ie p rna H oi d o n g Bao d a m T r a c h n h ie m ve
T h a m v a n ( N B C C ) da dtfa ra 138 tr a n g w e b co c u n g ca p dich v y
th a m v a n try*c tu y e n v a q u a t h y d ien tir. K et q u a n g h ie n ciru cho
th a y mire do tu a n th u h u d n g d an n g h e n g h ie p la rat th a p va
k h o n g co tr a n g w e b nao tu a n th u mQt ca ch d a y dii to a n b o cac
hucfng d an da de ra. T a m th a n g sau, n g h ie n cu n n a y tiep t y c
dUQc tien h a n h , th i tr o n g do co 37 tr a n g w e b k h o n g co n to n t$i.

2. Tham van nhom

G ia o tr in h n a y dtfQc viet th eo q u a n d ie m c u a t h a m v a n ca
nhan. V i v | y c h u n g toi k h o n g gidi th ie u th a m v a n ca n h a n la gi,
cac k i n a n g v a q u y tr in h trie n kh a i th e n a o? H in h thirc th a m van
cho th a n ch u la cac ca nhan, n h u th a m v a n n h o m - th a n ch u la
mQt n h o m ngtfdi v a th a m v a n gia d in h - th a n chii la ca g ia dinh
se dtfQc c h u n g toi gidi th ieu vai net sQ q u a de sin h v ie n co cai
n h in to n g th e ve cac h in h thirc th a m v a n k h a c n h a u d a n g d u g c
im g d y n g tr o n g thtfc h a n h trQ g iu p ta m li h ien nay.
Tham van nhom la mQt hinh thirc tham van trtfc tiep, theo
do, cac van de ciia cac ca nhan se dtfQc the hien tro n g p h a m vi
mQt nhom g'dm nhi'eu ngtfdi co cimg van de giong nhau can d u g c
giup dd.
T h a m v a n n h o m h u d n g tdi mQt so m y c dich sau:
- G iu p cac th a n h v ien giai q u y et cac v a n d'e v a ca c m au
th u a n tr o n g cuqc so n g ciia hQ.

- G iu p cac th a n h vien p hat trien s y ttf n h a n thirc v a co

nhtfng th a y doi v'e nh an thirc, ca m xuc;

- P h a t trien m o i q u a n he hai h o a (trao, n h a n n h u n g v a n d'e

tot - xau ) g iu a cac th a n h vien tr o n g n h o m h o a c g iu a cac
th a n h v ie n v d i nha th a m va n n h a m m y c d ich ta n g cirdng
stf th a m g ia ciia ho tro n g nhom .

- G ia o d ue cac th a n h vien ciia n h o m de h o a n th ie n b an

th an.
C H U O N G I: T h a m van ta m If la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 47

Dr. Carl Rogers During Group Therapy, www.allposters.com

T h a m va n n h o m co m ot so tfu diem noi troi la: 1/ T ao dieu

ki£n de th a n chu co nhtfng tinh cam gan bo, stf ch ap nhan, co
nhtfng cO hoi de hieu ngtfdi khac; cO hoi de q uan sat, bat chtfdc
va dtfdc co vu ve m at xa hoi; co hoi cho vi£c trai n g h iem nhtfng
v a n de c h u n g cu a m oi ngtfdi. Nhtfng dieu n a y cho p h e p m oi than
ch u tro n g boi canh n h o m song lai nhtfng quan h£, nhtfng cam xuc
tieu ctfc, nh an d i?n lai no va dieu chinh. 2/ Boi dtfdng dtfQc y thtic
h d p tac tr o n g co n g dong, tap the d than chu. 3/ T ao ra nhting
th a y doi ve n h a n thtic, cach ctf xti va stf phat trien tinh cach cua
m oi th an chu va 4/ HO trQ than chu tro n g vi£c ra q u yet dinh va
giai q u y et va n d'e.
Cung nhtf cac phtfOng phap tham van khac, tham van nhom
cung co nhting nhtfQc diem rieng cua no, nhtf: khong thich hQp vdi
mQt so ngtfdi nhiit nhat, ttf ti; nhting ngtfdi khong co kha nang
dien d^t ngon ngti, sd hai khi giao tiep. Tham van nhom doi hoi
nha tham van phai co trinh c! q cao trong vi£c to chtic hoat dQng
nhom thi vi£c tham van mdi co hi£u qua. M |t khac, phtfOng htfdng
dat ra cho nhom va tac dQng cua tham van tuy thuQC nhi'eu vao
triet li cua nha tham van, vao nhan cach ciia nha tham van. Nhin
chung, tham van nhom thich hQp cho nhting than chu co van d'e
48 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M U

tam li do n g h ien ca c ch at kich thich, do beo phi, n him g th a n chii co

kh iing h o a n g lira tu oi va kh iin g h o a n g k h a c h o | c co stress va
nhting chan thuUng ta m than.
M o t tr o n g n h im g yeu cau cho s y th a n h co n g cua th a m van
n h o m la n h a th a m v a n phai biet cach dieu h a n h n h o m . C y the
n h im g th ao tac d ud i d ay can dtfQc t h y c h i? n doi vd i m ot nha
th a m v a n n ho m :
- N h a th a m va n phai n am vting cac giai d o a n p h a t trien ciia
n h o m de co th e dua ra n h u n g cach thirc ta c d o n g p h u hQp,
hi<?u q u a vd i tim g giai doan do.
- N h a th a m va n can len ke h o a ch trtfdc ch o m o i b u o i sinh
h o a t n h o m , n h u phai t y tra ldi d u g c cau hoi: Horn nay
n h o m se la m gi? Lam n h u the nao? V a hi$u q u a se dat
d u g c la gi?
- N h a th a m va n can ghi lai b'au k h o n g kh i th a m v a n de danh
gia mire do v a n de va ly a ch on cach thirc ta c d on g. V i dy:
k h o n g khi n h o m d an g vui n h u n g khi b a t d au noi v'e lam
d u n g thi m gi ngu di tro n g n h o m tram x u o n g k h o n g ai noi
gi ntfa. N e u k h o n g khi tram q u a thi co the ta m th a y doi chu
d'e v a cho ho ch o i trd choi.
- TrU dc khi vao th a m v an n h o m , n h a th a m van b a t buQC
p h ai th a o lu a n n h u n g quy d in h sin h h o a t d y a tr e n y kien
so d o n g de giup ho cam thay ho th u o c v'e n h o m .
- C an phai d u y tri ki luat, q u y tac chat che n g a y tir d au nhtf
d en d u n g gid, de do dac d un g noi q u y dinh... de tien h a n h
th a m va n n g h iem tuc va th u an lgi h on .

- T r o n g th a m van nhom , sinh hoat vui ch o i c u n g la m ot hinh

thirc tri li<?u. V u i choi trong sinh h oat n h o m n h a m giai toa
cam xu c tieu ctfc, tang cam xuc tich ctfc, tao m di q u a n h<?
gan bo, d oan ket gitfa cac th a n h vien tr o n g n h o m . N h o m
th a m va n th tfdng co ki hi<?u rieng khi bat d au sin h h oat
n h o m (th a m va n n hom ), n h u n g trd chcfi h a y n h im g ki hi£u
k h a c nhtf tie n g v o tav, gd ban, h a y m ot tie n g d o n g n a o dd
can d u g c kh d i d on g de cac th a n h vien tr o n g n h o m n g a m
hieu la b u o i th a m van bat dau.
C H U O N G I: T h a m van ta m If la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 49

T h a m va n n h o m dtfQc thtfc hi?n theo m ot tien trinh nhat

djnh, th tfdng trai q u a ba giai do^n: thanh l | p n hom , sinh hoat
n h o m (h a y con goi la th am van nho m ) va giai do$n cuoi cu ng la
ket th u c th a m v a n nhom . Q u a trinh th am va n n h o m doi hoi nha
th a m v a n th a n h th u c mQt so ki nang nhtf sau:

- K y n a n g q u a n s a t nhom : N h a th a m v a n .yeu cau n h o m

n goi q u a y lai th a n h v o n g tron de cac ca n h a n co cQ hQi giao tiep,
m$t doi m a t v a ch ju trach n h iem ve b an th a n v a v d i n h a u nhieu
h o n . N h a th a m v a n q u a n sat vj tri ngoi cua m o i th a n h v ien tro n g
n h o m , stf ttfQng hQp gitia cac ca nhan, cti chi phi n g o n ngti, stf
tich ctfc, tan su at th a m gia th ao lu | n v a ch ia se v a n d'e... N h a
t h a m v a n ghi lai b ie u do cho ngoi de co th e th a y dirge mQt q u y
l u | t n a o do: h a i ngtfdi nao h a y ngoi vd i n h a u , ngtfdi nao ngoi
ch o n a o thi th a y an toan, stf tu n g hting khi noi, d u a m a t va o ai
k h i noi...

- K i n a n g la n g nghe tich ctfc: N h a th a m va n la ngtfdi nh^y

ca m v d i n go n ngti, g io n g dieu va nhting dieu b o k h o n g the hien
th a n h ldi q u a n h nhting th ong diep cua cac th a n h vien trong
n h o m . N h a th a m van lan g nghe tich ctfc b a o g o m ca viec b a y to stf
p h a n h oi k h a c h q u a n v a tom ltfQc van de cua th an chu.

- K i n a n g k e t noi: N h a th a m v a n g iu p ca c th a n h v ie n n h | n
ra n h tin g n e t tiron g d o n g h a y each b ie t gitia ca c th a n h v ie n
t r o n g n h o m . V i d tf: “ Chi D da noi la... B a y g id c h u n g ta se n g h e y
k ie n cu a a n h X v e v a n de n a y ”. N h a th a m v a n can la m cho cac
th a n ch u ca m th a y hai lo n g vi da dtfQc ke t noi th o n g tin cu a cua
m in h v d i th a n h v ie n k h a c tr o n g n h o m . K hi m u o n mQt ngtfdi
d tin g noi, n h a t h a m v a n can n h a c l$i y cu a h o de h o dtfQc th o a
m a n c a m g ia c n gtfdi k h a c da h ie u y cu a m in h . T rtfd c k h i m u o n
mQt ngtfdi it n o i dtfa ra y k ie n cu a m in h , n h a th a m v a n p hai
c h u a n bi c h o hQ: “ S au kh i n g h e anh A noi, ch ting ta se n g h e chi
B ch ia s e ” .

- K i n a n g n g a n can: V d i ki n a n g nay, n h a th a m v a n k h o n g
c h o p h e p ca c th a n h v ie n k h o n g t | p tr u n g , p h a p h a c h h o a t dQng
c u a n h o m b a n g c a c h tie p ttfc h tfd n g v a o hQ h o § c n g a n c a n ho
d o c q u y e n t r o n g d a m tho^i.
 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI
50

- K i n a n g d a t cau h oi xo a y van: Khi d | t cau hoi, n h a th a m

va n can gift cho nhi'eu ngtfdi cu n g tra ldi mQt v a n d'e de d u y tri
v a n d'e d a n g x e m xet. Sau khi da co 2 den 3 ngtfdi c im g noi thi
n h a th a m v a n co th e to m lai cac y kien, ch o n ra 3 d en 4 n h o m va n
d'e roi th a o lu an, ltfa ch o n n g u ye n nhan, d | t ra cach giai quyet.

- Ki n a n g tran at va khich 1$: T ron g m ot n h o m co the co nhim g

ngudi rat ttf tin, noi rat nhi'eu, m u on chim g to cai toi ciia m inh, cung
co the co nhim g ngtfdi tir ti, chi g |t, lac dau, it noi. N h ie m v y cua
nha th a m va n la phai la m cho ngudi noi nhi'eu it noi l^i va ngudi noi
it noi nhi'eu len. Khi co m ot ngudi noi cong kich m a k h o n g ai de y,
nha th a m va n co the bo qua nhung neu m oi ngudi deu chii y thi
trong n h o m d ang co van de va can phai giai quyet va n d'e ay. Luc do,
nha th am van phai dirng m y c tieu dinh lam , sau do de m oi ngudi
noi va thao lu | n v e van d'e vira x ay ra cua nhom .

- KI n a n g to m ltfdc va to n g hdp: Ki n a n g to m ltfdc co th e dUQc

tien h a n h sau kh i ket th u c y kien ciia tim g th a n h v ien de giup
n h o m t | p tr u n g va o v a n de tron g ta m h o a c n h a th a m v a n sir d y n g
kh i cac ca n h a n ch u y e n chii de ciia cu o c th a o lu a n . Ki n a n g tom
lugfc v a to n g hQp giup n h o m nhan thirc v'e n h u n g gi x a y ra, n h | n
thirc v iec n h o m v a cac th a n h vien n h o m da th a y doi n h tf th e nao
tro n g q u a trin h th a m van khi ket th iic m di b u o i th a m v a n h oac
ket thiic q u a trin h th a m van n hom .

N htfng p h a m chat m a m ot nha th a m v a n n h o m can co la kha

n a n g th a u cam tot, cdi m d, n h a n h n h a y v a co k h a n a n g doi mat.
N htfng p h a m ch at n a y giu p ho trgf th a n h v ie n ciia n h o m ttf dtfOng
d au v a ch ia se va n de ciia m in h trtfdc cac th a n h v ie n k h a c v a giup
nha th a m v a n la m chii qua trinh th a m v a n n h o m . D e thtfc hien
th a m v a n n h o m hieu qua, nha th a m v a n can p hai d ap tfng nhtfng
yeu cau nhtf: Chii y tdi nhtfng b ieu h ien n g o n ngir v a phi ngon
ngir ciia cac th a n h vien n h o m va co p h a n hoi kip thdi. L a n g nghe
m ot cach tich ctfc v a stf d u n g cac ki n a n g giao tiep n h a m n i t ra
cac cam nh an , su y n gh i cua cac th a n h vien n h o m . C o k h a n a n g
can th iep kip th d i khi co va n d'e bat n g d p h a t sinh tr o n g sinh h oat
n h o m . N h a th a m van k h u y en kh ich s y th a m gia tich ctfc cu a cac
th a n h vien n h o m n h im g k h o n g "ctfdng ep" ho va b iet cach lira
ch on th a n h vien m ot cach phu hQp vao tro n g cac n h o m . M ot so
chi dan khi la m v iec tro n g nhom :
CHLTONG I: T h a m van t am If la m o t khoa hoc ting dung 51

- C a n th ie t l | p n<?i q u y sin h ho$t cu a n h o m .

- So ngtfdi k h o a n g tir 6 d en 12 v a can b o th a m van.
- T h d i gian kh o a n g tir 1,5 giof den 2 g id /m o t tuan, th a m van
n h o m k h o a n g tir 12 den 16 lan cho m ot van de.
- Co the chia n h o m theo gidi tinh.
- P h o n g th a m va n yen tinh, ripng de co the to chtic tro choi
h o § c di ch u y en de dang. Sti d y n g cac sinh h oa t tap the, tro choi,
h oat d o n g n ghe th u at de cac th anh vien cam th a y thtf gian va
th oai m ai kh i th a m gia vao th am van n hom . Khi th a m van, cac
th a n h vien ngoi v o n g tron de tang ctfdng giao tiep vd i nhau.
- Khi cac th a n h vien chia se van de cua m inh, co the t^o nen
k h o n g kh i ta m li n | n g ne trong nhom . Do do, nha th a m va n giup
cac th a n h vien giti b in h tinh va ton tro n g y kien, xu c cam cua
nhau. N h a th a m v a n ton trong y kien cua tting ngtfdi, tran h binh
lu | n , p h e b in h y kien cua ai do. N h a th am va n tang ctfdng bau
k h o n g khi b an b e va tao stf cdi m d gitfa cac th anh vien qua vi£c
ch ap n h a n v a k h o n g p h an xet thai do cua cac th a n h vien.
- C o n g n h | n cac xuc cam va kinh n g h iem m a cac th an chu
d a n g trai n g h iem .
- C an b o th a m v a n can co nhtfng "thu th uat" de doi p ho vdi
nhtfng tinh h u o n g g a y go, kh on g ton trong ngtfdi khac; doi, bo
h o p gitfa ch im g; la m vi$c rieng cua m ot so th a n h vien. K h o n g
dtfdc n g a t q u a n g kh i co ngtfdi dang noi ho£c chia se th o n g tin va
k h o n g ep buQC ai do p h ai noi khi ho chtfa sSn sang.
- C a n b o th a m v a n phai nhan thtic dtfdc cac giai do?in kh ac
n h a u cua stf p h a t trien n h o m trong qua trinh th a m v a n (giai doan
h in h th a n h , x u n g dot, h o a giai, va ket thuc).
- N h a c cac th a n h vien giti kin nhtfng th o n g tin dtfdc chia se
tr o n g n h o m cu a m inh.
- L o n g g h e p cac trd ch o i tro n g qua trinh th a m v a n nhom .
- C a n gh i ch ep ltfu giti ho s o cac cuqc th a m van: ghi cac hoat
d ong, sti th a m gia, ca m xu c cua tting tre.

T h a m va n theo quan diem nhan van - hi£n sinh thtfdng sti d yn g

boi canh n h o m de tao dieu ki?n cho than chu co kha nang n h | p vai,
cam n h | n dtfdc sti ting hp cua n hom de h<? th ay kh ong d o n dpc (vi
52 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

nhi'eu ngtfdi cung hoan canh nhtf ho). Vi£c moi ca nhan cam nhan
dtfQc stf nang dd cua nhom hinh nhtf lam ho de dang trinh bay
nhtfng tinh cam hoac nhtfng kho khan cua minh. Tham van nhom
co the tao nen giai doan dau tien de than chu tai hoa n h |p vao cuqc
song thtfc te, no cho phep than chu dtfOng dau vdi nhtfng ngtfdi
khac va doi hoi cac than chu phai co sy" hieu biet va kinh trong lan
nhau. Chinh vi vay, tham van nhom da ho trd dac ltfc cho tham van
ca nhan trong thtfc tien tham van tren the gidi.

3. Tham van gia dinh

M oi ca nhan deu ton tai trong m ot mdi trtfdng gia dinh va

van ho a gia dinh. H oat dong cua gia dinh anh htfdng sau skc tdi
tting ca nhan, vi the, nha tham van kho co th e th am van rieng
bi<?t cho tting ca nhan de giai quyet van de cua ca nhan, ma
k h on g co stf ket hqfp th am van vd i cac th anh vien tro n g gia dinh
va nhin n han va n de cua than chu tro n g m oi qu an h£ vd i nhtfng
ngtfdi khac, va n d'e k h ac trong gia dinh ho.

Tham van gia dinh la mot hoat dong nham gitip cac gia dinh
c 0 cau hai hoa nhting moi quan h? de cac thanh vien gia dinh
phat hu y vai trd mdi cua ho va tao nen stic m anh cua ca gia dinh.

family therapy, www.freewebs.com

C H U O N G I: T h a m van tam If la m o t khoa hoc ting dung 53

MQt ca nhan ty* nhan ra roi nhieu cua minh va di lam tham
van la mQt chi djnh cho tham van ca nhan. Nhim g, tham van gia
dinh la mQt phtfOng phap tiep c|n khac vdi tham van ca nhan.
T h am van gia dinh la quan trQng khi van de cua ca nhan khong
con la cua rieng ho. Ca nhan co roi loan tam li thtfdng lien quan
den cac thanh vien khac trong gia dinh, chu yeu lien quan den
cha me tre. Vi vay tham van tre era co the lien quan den tham
van gia dinh (tre em vi pham phap luat, tre em bi bao hanh gia
dinh...), hay tham van v'e mau thuan gia dinh.
M y c tieu cy th e cua th a m van gia d in h ta p tru n g vao mQt so
d iem sau:
- Giup co cau lai h£ thong ttfQng tac trong gia dinh nham tang
cudng kha nang thich utfg cua gia dinh trtfdc tac dong cua moi trtfdng.
- G iu p cac th a n h vien trong gia dinh th a y doi nhtfng cach utig
xtf co htfu cu a cac th a n h vien de cai thi£n b au k h o n g khi be tac
tr o n g gia dinh.
- G iu p ca c th a n h v ien tron g gia
Cac van de ciia gia dinh
d in h su1 d u n g nhtfng tiem nang m d i va
thtfdng co nguyen nhan
ta n g ctfd n g k h a n a n g doi m at vdi cang
tit chinh gia dinh. Ban
th a n g , x u n g dQt.
chat cua tham van gia
Khi th a m v a n g ia d inh, nha th am dinh la giup cho cac
v a n can b ie t v'e tin h tra n g b au k h o n g thanh vien trong gia
kh i ta m li cu a g ia d in h th a n chu th o n g dinh hieu va chap nhan
q u a mQt so chi b a o sau: Cac th a n h thtfc te dang xay ra
v ie n tr o n g g ia d in h co s y tin ty d n g trong gia dinh ho, giup
tuyQt doi v d i n h a u ? K h o n g len an h a y ho ttf gidi quyet cac van
ddi l | p n h a u d m u ’c do nao? C ac th a n h de cua chinh ho._______
v ie n tr o n g g ia d in h co la m b an ta m lan
n h a u vi nhtfng v a n d'e k h o n g ch inh d a n g k h o n g ? M u ’c do d u y tri
stf b e n vtfng n h im g m e m deo va co nhtfng ranh g id i n h a t d jnh
gitfa ca c th a n h v ie n tro n g gia d in h nhtf the n a o? T a t ca nhtfng
m di q u a n h ? tr e n co th e dtfQc p h a n tich qua s o do C a y gia d inh
(co n gQi la C a y p h a h<?).
Sau khi trd ch u y en vdi cac thanh vien trong gia dinh, nha tham
va n sQ do hoa cac m di quan h£ gia dinh qua C a y gia dinh de co the
54 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

njlin n h a n van d'e cua gia din h mQt cach bao q u a t h o n , nhir A i th a n
vdi ai? A i ghet ai? A i m at? Ai con? T in h trying h o n nhan?...

M y c dich cu a vi$c giai th ich C a y gia d in h la n h a n m a n h den

q u a n d ie m coi cac m o i q u a n h<? tr o n g gia d in h th tfd n g anh
hirdng tdi ca ch n h a n thtic v a h a n h vi ting xti cua m o i ca nhan.
T r o n g do n g u o n g o c gia d in h co anh h irdng ld n d en s y t r y d n g
th a n h cu a m o i co n ng u d i.

T ro n g th a m v a n gia dinh, nha th a m v a n h a n h d o n g n h u mot

"ngtfdi tr u n g gian" de tao ra bau k h o n g kh i m a tat ca cac th anh
vien tro n g gia dinh, d§c bi<?t la tre em, deu m u o n b a y to su y nghi
cua m in h v e h o a n canh hi£n tai cua gia d in h v a neu len m o n g
m u o n ca n h an m a k h o n g cam th ay bj de d oa b d i cac th a n h vien
k h a c tro n g gia dinh, h a y sd lam 1q bi m at ch u y en ctia gia dinh.

Phan tich C a y gia dinh

C S c k( hi£u

Q u a n tSm , y 6 u thi/crng,

B inh thu'6'ng

© M d u t h u l n x u n g <50t ^ W A /W V W W

D i> n g d u ' n g , khfiing q u a n t a m ■+— — _ _

Ch£t
Li h 6 n

<
S> Li t h a n
C H U O N G I: T h a m van t am li la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 55

N g oai nhtfng ki nang ch ung thtfdng stf d y n g trong th a m van,

nhtf q u a n sat, lan g nghe, thau cam, d | t cau hoi k h u y en khich,
th ach thirc doi dau, dieu phoi stf tham gia cua cac th anh vien va ki
n a n g giao n h iem vu cho cac thanh vien..., nha th am van co the sir
d y n g m ot so chien ltfQc cho stf tai cau true gia dinh:

- Ccf cau lai v a i trd ciia ca c thanh v ie n : N h a th a m va n giup

cac th a n h vien nhin nhan lai hanh vi theo vai tro cua cac ca nhan
tro n g gia d inh de giu p cac thanh vien thich im g vd i cac h a n h vi
mcfi. KI n a n g n a y xuat phat tu1quan diem la hieu biet cua gia dinh
ve h a n h vi ca n h a n can dtfQc th a y doi cho thich ufng vdi h oa n canh
cu a gia dinh. B a n g cach dat cau hoi x o a y va n ve vai trd cua tim g
th a n h vien, nha th a m van co the giup cac th a n h vien ttf do suy
n g h i va htfdng d en nhtfng hanh dong k h ac trtfdc. C ach hieu m di
n a y tao ra nhtfng k h a nang co the di den giai p hap thich hQp h o n
cho v a n de "cu" cua gia dinh.

- D jn h htf& n g ro rang va g iao nhiem vu: D inh htfdng vao

n h ie m v y la nhtfng yeu cau ttfdng m inh de gia dinh co nhtfng
h a n h vi c y the. MQt so dinh htfdng bao g om viec yeu cau cac
th a n h vien tr o n g gia d inh thao lu | n ve vtfdng m a c h o a c chi ra m at
tieu ctfc cu a stf th a y doi. N h iem v y co the la yeu cau cha m e k h o n g
ra b a t cu' q u y e t d in h v e van de nao cho con cai trtfdc khi v a n de
dtfQc dtfa ra th a o luan.

- K i th u a t lam m a t can bang: KI th u at n a y dtfQc sir d un g

n h a m tao ra stf m a t can b a n g trong gia d inh k h ien cho cac m o
h in h trieu c h im g bi dao Ion. Dieu n a y doi hoi nha th a m v a n co
nhtfng gia d in h kh i d£t m inh ve phia mQt th a n h vien h o a c dirng
ve p h ia mQt th e he de gia dinh di den cach hieu m d i ve v a n de cua
gia d in h th a n chii.
- S if d u n g th u a t ngu" "Tdi". Nha tham van yeu cau cac thanh
vien bat dau trd chuyen bang menh de "Tdi", thay vi noi "Chung
ta", hay "Ngtfdi ta". Cau noi vdi chii ngtf "Tdi" thanh cong nhat la
kh on g dtfa ra nhim g yeu sach cu the hay do ldi, no m d ra cac tinh
hudng thao luan khien ngu'di khac tiep tuc boc 1q, no giup cho
viec tach bi?t cai cam giac vdi cai th yc te de lam ro van de. Menh
56 G I A O TR'INH T H A M V A N T A M Li

d'e toi la m ot phtfOng p hap d ac biet co h ieu q u a de giao due cac

th a n h vien tro n g gia d inh trong suot q u a trinh th a m van . C hi sir
d u n g th eo m a u v a do v a y kh ien ngtfdi d u n g co th e lu n g tu n g khi
m d i sir dung.
Dtfdi day la nhtfng viec nha tham van can lam trong tham van
gia dinh. Dd la:
- L am s a n g to m y c tieu th a m v a n gia d in h v a vai trd ciia nha
th a m v a n gia d in h tr o n g b uo i dau tien; n a m dtfgfc nhu cau cua
m di ngtfdi tr o n g gia dinh.
- G£p g d v d i tim g th a n h vien tro n g gia d in h de la m sa n g to
va n d'e cu a ho. Khi g a p th a n h vien nao dd, can th o n g b a o cho cac
th a n h vien k h a c biet.
- K hong dtfa ra cac giai phap nen lam gi v a la m nhtf the nao va
kh on g p han xet v'e nhtfng trai nghiem cam xuc ciia cac th anh vien.
- Sir d y n g ki nang thau cam va cac ki nang giao tiep de nam
dtfdc su y nghi, cam xuc va hanh vi ciia cac thanh vien gia dinh.
- L a m vi^c nhtf m o t ngtfdi d on g m in h h o a giai v a ta p tru n g
vao dieu th a n chu noi, chir k h o n g la m viec th eo k ie u c h u y e n gia
chi tap tr u n g va o nhtfng hieu biet cua m inh.
- T ao dieu kien cho cac th a n h vien b a y to stf gian dtf v a tranh
chi trich, p h a n xet ho.
- La ngtfdi la n g nghe, kh d i xtfdng, ggfi y v a k h o n g ttf su y dien
v'e d o n g c o b e n tro n g cua m oi ngtfdi.
- Ldi k e o m o i ngtfdi cu ng trd ch uyen , m d i nhtfng ngtfdi it noi
p hat b ieu, h a n che ngtfdi noi nhi'eu, ngtfdi g a y ap ltfc. K h o n g dirng
ve p hia ai do tr o n g gia dinh.

T h a m van gia dinh co mot so tfu diem sau: Giup cho mdi thanh
vien trong gia dinh hieu biet h o n ve b an than, v'e cac thanh vien khac
va ve nhtfng hanh vi im g xir trong mdi ttfcfng quan vdi ngtfdi khac. tir
dd tao ra stf thay doi, cai thien de moi trtfdng trd nen lanh manh,
giam n g u y co duy tri va phat trien hanh vi roi nhieu. T h a m van gia
dinh dac biet htfu dung trong tri lieu cho tre em h a y vgr/chong ma
nguyen nhan phat sinh va duy tri roi n h iiu la tir gia dinh. Ngoai ra.
tham van g:a dinh hieu qua se tao dude mdi trtfdng thuan lrri hem cho
than chii co the nhanh chong binh on va "ldn len".
C H U O N G I: T h a m van tam li la m o t khoa hoc ufng dung 57

T u y n h ien , co m ot so nhtfgfc d iem cu a th a m v a n g ia d inh

th tfd n g n h a n t h a y nhtf: K h o n g de thtfc h ien do tr o n g thtfc te
k h o n g p h a i th a n h vien nao tr o n g gia d inh n a o c u n g n h a n thufc
d u n g d a n v'e y e u ca u cu a th a m v a n gia dinh. V i va y, m u o n th a m
v a n g ia d in h d at h ieu q ua cao, nha th a m v a n can p h a i n am
vtfng nhtfng d a c trtfng cho cac giai d o a n p h a t trie n cu a ddi so n g
g ia d in h , v a can co nh£n d jn h v'e gia d in h th a n ch u d a n g d
t r o n g giai d o a n nao, nhtf giai d o a n g ia d in h v d i nhtfng ngtfdi
d o c th a n tre tu o i (giai d o a n tien h o n n h a n ); giai d o a n cap vQ
c h o n g m d i ctfdi; giai d o a n sinh va nuoi d a y co n cai; giai d oan
gitfa h o n n h a n ; giai d o a n cac th a n h v ien rdi b o gia d in h (con
cai lan ltfgft dtfng vQ ga ch o n g ) va giai d o a n cu o i cu a gia d in h
(stf ra di cu a ch a m e). 6 mdi giai d oan nay, n h a th a m v a n can
n a m ro ca c s a c th a i c h u y e n ddi tinh ca m cu a cac th a n h v ien va
ca c m d i q u a n h e tr o n g gia dinh.
C a c b tfd c cu a m o t b u o i th a m va n g ia d in h dtfgfc thtfc h ien
n h tf s a u 1:
- H o a n n g h e n h tat ca m oi ngtfdi da den, da co m at d on g du d
n ha (ltfu y stf v a n g m at cua ai do, neu stf v a n g m at cu1 "ngau
n h ien " x a y ra thi phai co cuqc gap rieng de biet va n de co lien
q u a n vd i h o la gi).
- G iai th ich cho cac gia dinh m u c tieu cua th a m van, vai trd
cua m in h (vdi ttf cach la nha th am van gia dinh) v a gia dinh co
th e tro n g ddi gi d m inh. Hoi xem ho cam th a y the nao khi th am
gia vao b u o i gap g d nay. Dtfa ra nhtfng m o n g m u o n cua buoi
th a m va n va noi vd i ho ve tinh bi m at cua b u o i th a m van.
- B ay to stf q u a n tam den tutfg ngtfdi (hoi ho la m n g h e gi, tre
em h o c trtfdng n a o b a n g thai do binh di...), la m chu cac cir chi phi
n g o n ngtf ciia m inh.
- T o n tr o n g m oi ngtfdi b an g cach cho p h ep ho trinh b a y m a
k h o n g "sot ruQt", cho phep m oi ngtfdi b oc 1q xu c ca m gian dir,
th a n tr o n g tro n g dat cau hoi vdi tre em.

1Tai li?u tap huan Cong tac tham tre em, Unicef, 2002.
58 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

- S a n g tao kh i dat cau hoi trong cac tinh h u o n g im la n g b an

dau, khi cau ch u y en da troi chay, k h o n g nen dat cau hoi la m cat
m a ch th o n g tin cua ho.
- D anh n hieu thdi gian de ket th u c cuqc th a m va n d au tien
(hoi x e m h o co m u o n noi gi th em trtfdc khi ke t thuc).
- Sir d u n g ki n a n g to m ltfdc trtfdc kh i ket t h u c x a u c h u o i cac
v a n de. C o g a n g d ie n d at v a n de th e o h ird n g tic h ctfc, it bi q u a n ,
n h a n m a n h d en su" th a n h co n g cu a b u o i g a p m a t n a y d e m a n g
lai h y vQng r a n g se co n h im g th a y doi th e o h ird n g tich c u t tr o n g
gia d in h.
T ro n g th a m va n gia dinh, nha th a m v a n can la m ch o cac
th a n h vien n h an thirc ro rang bat ki ki th u at giao tiep n a o cu ng
phai m at m ot th di gian nhat dinh de co the th ich n ghi vd i n h im g
loi im g xir va trach n h iem m di ciia cac th a n h v ien tr o n g g ia dinh.

CAU HOI ON TAP CHlAJNG 1

1. H a y p h a n b ie t cac kh ai niem : trgf giup, th a m va n , t u van,

tri lieu.

2. T rin h b a y m o i q u a n he gitia cac n g a n h trgf giup: T a m li

hoc, T h a m va n , C o n g ta c xa hoi v a T a m th a n hoc.
3. N e u m u c d ich v a n h ie m vu cu a q u a trin h th a m van.
4. Phan bi?t stf kh ac nhau trong th am va n n hom va th am van
gia dinh.
 CHITOTNG 2
s o u rac uch sur h in h t h a n h v a p h a t
TRIEN NGANH THAM VAN TAM U

N gay tit th e k y XIX, mot loat cac hoat dong ma nhin be ngoai
co ve rat khac nhau nhit cac phong ti'do van dong cai cach xa
hoi vd'i nhitng thay doi trong phtf&ng thitc giup dd nhitng
ngtf&i ngheo, ngtfdi co hoan canh dac biet kho khan; cac phong
trao dau tranh trong linh vtfc y te de co dircfc nhtfng phtfcfng
phcip dieu tri nhan van han cho cac benh nhan tam than;
nhtfng itng dung ngay cang rong i'di cac trac nghiem tam li,
cac lieu phap tam li trong giao due - htf&ng nghiep va trong trey
ghip cac ddi titcrng co kho khan tam li trong cong dong..., tat ca
dd gop phan dan den stf hinh thanh nganh tham van, ma kh&i
dau ciia no la cong tac htf&ng dan nghe, ttf van nghe.

ChtfOng n a y se x e m xet sit phat trien cua n g a n h th am van

tren th e gidi q u a ba giai doan hinh thanh va phat trien cua nganh
th a m va n m a k h d i dau cua no la sir phat trien cua cac trtfdng phai
ta m li h o c v a cac trSc nghiem tam li tir cuoi the ki XIX, dirge dira
vao im g d u n g tro n g cac nganh tr g giup nhir T a m li hoc, C on g tac
xa hoi, T a m th a n hpc va T h a m van. V a n de cong tac th a m va n 0
V ie t N a m se dirge ch im g toi khai quat qua vai net ve thirc trang
h a n h n g h e th a m va n , gidi thieu ve cac chu de th a m van, cac loai
h in h th a m v a n d a n g ton tai hien nay v a thirc tran g dao tao cac
nha th a m v a n V ie t N a m dira tren cac so lieu thu dirge qua m ot vai
de tai n g h ien ciru ciia ch im g toi ve linh virc nay (chii yeu la nhtfng
n g h ien ciru d p hia Bac) va qua m ot so tai li£u cong bo tir cac bai
bao, cac hoi th ao ve th a m van trong gan mtfdi n am qua.
60 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M LI

i. A n h h i / O n g c u a m 0 t s o n g a n h ir q g iu p den

N G A N H T H A M V A N C H U Y E N N G H IE P

Theo Belkin (1988), nhu ng chuyen nganh trQ giup co ngu on

goc hi?n dai nhir nganh Cong tac xa hoi, T a m li hoc, T a m than hoc
va T h a m van trong suot the ki X IX va dau the ki X X du co lich sir
phat trien luc dau hoi khac nhau nhim g ch im g deu ch u y en d ong
m ot cach cham rai hirdng den nhi'eu ket luan g io n g nhau ve m at li
thuyet. N g a y nay, co the coi sir khac biQt giua cac nganh trQ giiip
nay la k h o n g dang ke trong moi quan he ngang h a n g vdi nhau.

N g a n h cong tac xa hoi dtfQc hinh th anh va o d au the ki X X (ke

tir khi trirdng cong tac xa hoi dau tien tren the gidi ra ddi d M y -
1901). Dd la k h o a h o c im g dung, la m ot dich vu xa hoi n h a m m uc
dich ho trQ, g iu p d d ca nhan, n hom , co n g d o n g vtfQt q u a hoan
canh kh o k h a n de th a y doi hi?n tran g cu o c so n g ciia ho, giu p cac
ca nhan va n h o m doi ttfQng cu the dat dtfQc m o t vi tri d m u’c do
phu hQp tro n g xa hoi.

T h a m va n va co n g tac xa hoi deu la n h u n g ngh'e g iu p d d than

chii cai th ien cu oc so n g va tinh tra n g cu a ho. P h a m vi cua cong
tac xa hoi ro n g h on . N o k h o n g chi n a n g d d cac th a n ch u ve khia
canh tinh th a n m a no con cu ng cap ca c dich vu h o trQ kin h te, xa
hoi, th u c d a y ca n h a n v a n h o m xa hoi dat d en vi tri, vai trd xa hoi
cua ch in h ho. Co th e noi, co n g ta c xa hoi dtfa ra stf can th ie p d cac
linh vtfc k h a c n h a u n h a m giu p d o cac ca n h a n , gia d in h va / h o a c
co n g d o n g dat den stf b in h d an g xa hoi. N h a n v ien xa hoi g iu p dd
doi ttfQng tr o n g he th o n g gia d inh v a xa hoi mQt cach k h o a h o c va
ben vtfng. V i du, cac n h a n vien xa hoi giiip th a n chii tiep can cac
n g u o n ltfc, im g ho cac q u y en ciia th an chu d cap ch inh q u y e n va
la m viec de cai th ien tinh hinh kinh te ciia tre em, gia d in h va
cong d o n g y e u the, de d u y tri va on dinh cu oc son g ciia ho.

Cac n h an vien xa hoi thtfdng lam viec cu the vdi cac doi t i r i n g
bi toil thtfOng nhtf tre em va cac van de toi t? lien q u a n dt-n tre.
ngtfdi tan tat, ngtfdi ngheo, ngtfdi cao tuoi. ngtfdi co lien q uan
den cac te nan xa hoi.... N gan h cong tac xa hoi xem xet van de cua
(H lfO N G 2: So li/oc lich sif hinh thanh va phat trien 61

th an chu tro n g h$ th on g gia dinh va xa hoi de co the thiet ke cac

chirong trinh trgr giu p cho ho m ot cach k h o a h o c va b en vtfng.
Q u a n d iem nhin nhan nay da giup cho cac nha th a m va n tang
c u d n g s u hieu biet va tim cac phUOng phap trgr g iu p n h im g than
chii ciia m inh tro n g kh u ng canh gia dinh va cac h£ th ong, chinh
sach xa hoi. C h in h vi vay, ngh'e cong tac xa hoi v a ngh'e th a m van
co nhi'eu d iem giao thoa, doi khi lam vi£c tren cim g m ot n h o m xa
hoi. T ren the gidi, nhi'eu nha tham van ch uyen n g h iep da b at dau
co n g vi£c n h u nhtfng nhan vien cong tac xa hoi (va ngtfQc lai) nen
ho da h o c hoi dtfQc nhi'eu kinh nghiem thtfc te ciia n g a n h cong tac
xa hoi tro n g dao tao thtfc hanh nghe th am va n v a tro n g ho trQ
true tiep vdi th an chii ciia ho.

Su> hoi nhap cua cac nganh trong finh vipc

s lfc khoe tam than

Q u a n d ie m ciia nganh cong tac xa hoi la giu p cho cac than

chii t u d irong dau dtfQc vdi n him g kh o k h a n cua m inh. ttf chiu
trach nhi£m ve cuqc ddi ciia m inh. Q u an d iem n a y da giup cho
n g a n h th a m v a n x a y dtfng va h oa n thi£n h£ th o n g thai do, cac ki
n a n g va cac phtfOng p hap tiep can da van h o a phu h d p vd i tim g
th an chii. N g a n h co n g tac xa hoi dtfQc phat trien tir co n g tac tir
62 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M li

thi^n, trQ giup vat chat va tinh than cho ngtfdi ngheo, nhung
ngtfdi khong ttf dung vtfng trong cuqc song, nen cac nhan vien xa
hQi hinh thanh dtfQc mQt thai do tan tuy, trach nhiem va ton
trQng doi vdi nhtfng ngtfdi thiet thdi trong xa hQi. Nhtfng gia trj
nay da anh htfdng sau ripng tdi cac nha tam li hQc, cac bac si, hay
cac nha tham van, thuc day hQ khong ngirng tim kiem, khai thac
nhtfng stf giup dd tot cho cac than chu cua hQ.

Doi vdi hoat dQng tham van, pham vi cua no cii the hon, tap
trung chu yeu vao cac van de tam li cua cac ca nhan, nhom va gia
dinh. Tham van la mQt phan cua cong tac xa hQi va la cong cu chu
yeu de cac nhan vien cong tac xa hQi giup dd mQi ngtfdi dtfOng
dau tot vdi nhtfng van de cua hQ. Cac nha tham van hQc dtfQc
cach hieu biet than chu cua minh qua cac he thong trQ giup cua
nganh cong tac xa hQi. Cac nha tham van co the hoat dQng nhtf
mQt ngtfdi ket noi, hoac ngtfdi giup dd than chu tim den cac
nguon ltfc co the mang lai lQi ich cho hQ trong CQng dong.

Nhtfng nghien cutf trong tam li hQc thtfc n g h iem de k ie m tra stf
khac biet ve the chat va tam li con ngtfdi da giu p cac nha ta m li hoc
dtfa ra cac trac ng h iem ve stf kh ac biet gitfa cac ca nhan. V d i nhu ng
thanh ttfu nay, tu" khi ra ddi, th am van da stf d u n g cac trac nghiem
kiem tra tri th o n g m in h (do chi so kh on IQ), tm c n g h iem do nang
ltfc, nhan cach, x u c cam, cac trac ng h iem p h o n g chieu v.v... cua
tam li h oc de thtfc h a n h trong th a m va n htfdng ng h iep va sau do
ch ung dtfQc th ich u n g bdi cac nha th a m va n d cac linh vtfc tham
van nghe, th a m va n gia dinh, th a m van hQc dtfdng, th a m van stfc
kh oe tam than. H au het tat ca cac trtfdng phai tiep can trong
nghien ctfu con ngtfdi, nhtf p han tam hQc, tam li hoc cau true, tam
li hQc h a n h vi, ta m li hQc nhan van, ... deu dtfQc cac nha th a m van
sir d u n g va phat trien cho phu hQp vdi linh vtfc th a m va n cua m inh.
Dd chinh la n g u o n goc cua cac lieu phap theo htfdng nhan thtfc -
hanh vi v a n h an van n g a y nay. N goai ra, cac ki nang th a m va n cQ
ban cu n g dUQc de x u d n g va phat trien bdi cac nha tam li hoc. Stf
ket hQp gitfa n g a n h T a m li hoc va T h a m van da tao nen chuyen
nganh T a m li h o c T h a m van.
CHUONG 2: Sa li/oc lich stf hinh thanh va phat trien 63

T a m th a n h(?c, v d i vi£c tap tru n g va o ch a n d o a n ta m b<?nh

h o c, da g iu p n h im g nha th a m va n h ieu dUQc cac loai b ? n h ta m
th a n k h a c n h a u doi vd i cac va n d'e sure k h o e ta m th a n , m a co n g
viQc th a m v a n cu a hQ co lien q uan. V d i vi£c h irdng d an ch an
d o a n v a p h a n loai cac roi lo a n ta m th a n , th e hi£n tr o n g D S M -
IV - B a n g p h a n loai cac b<?nh ta m th a n do H i?p hpi T a m th a n
My so a n th a o (T h e D ia g n o s tic a n d S ta tis tic a l M a n u a l o f
M e n ta l D is o r d e r s - D S M -I V ), h o a c IC D - 10- B a n g p h a n loai
b<?nh tat q u o c te lan t h u 10 (I n te r n a tio n a l C la s s ific a tio n o f
D is e a s e s -1 0 ), cac n h a ta m th an h pc da trQ g iu p cac n h a th a m
v a n va ca c c h u y e n gia k h a c tro n g vi£c ch an d o a n v a p h a t trien
ke h o a c h la m vi£c v d i cac th a n chu. N g o a i ra, sir n g h ie n ctiu da
d a n g ca c tri? u ch ting b£nh tro n g lin h vtfc ta m th a n da g iu p cac
n h a th a m v a n n h a n thtic dtfQc ran g mQt so v a n d'e stic k h o e ta m
th a n co th e co n g u y e n nh an thtfc th e can dirge c h a m chtia ket
hQp v d i vi£c d im g th u o c, h o a c nh an thtic dirQc ra n g tr o n g mQt
so trird n g hQp, can phai gtii cac th a n chu d en cac c h u y e n gia
tr o n g lin h vtfc ta m dirQc hQc va tam sin h h o c trirdc kh i q u y et
d in h trQ giiip.

II. SlJ R A D Q I C U A N G A N H T H A M V A N T R E N T H E G IO I

Dira tren cac m oc phat trien ciia cac li thuyet tiep can trong
th a m van va sir phat trien toan dien ciia hoat dong tham van, nhuf sir
ra ddi ciia cac Hiep hQi tham van, cong tac nghien ctiu, giam sat
tham van, hay van d'e chting chi hanh ngh'e... va dtfa vao nhting anh
hirdng ciia cac nganh khoa hoc lan can, nhting sir kien chinh tri xa
hQi ciia the gidi co lien quan den sir thiic day, phat trien nganh tham
van ch uyen nghiep, co the tam phan ba m oc chinh trong lich sti hinh
thanh nganh th am van chuyen nghiep nhir sau:

- Giai d o a n t t i c u o i the ki X IX sang ntia dau the ki XX : N g a n h

th a m va n tro n g giai d oan kh di dau vdi cac nha tien p h o n g trien
kh ai cac khai n iem cQ ban theo trirdng phai p h a n tam , cac li
th u y e t n g h ien ctiu v'e q u a trinh phat trien tam li con ngirdi va s y
ra ddi ciia co n g tac hirdng dan ngh'e, sau dd la th a m va n nghe.
64 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M U

- Giai doan gitia the ki XX: N ganh th am va n phat trien m a n g

tinh chat ch uyen nghiep vdi cac phtfOng thtic trj lieu da d an g
dtfQc trien khai.

- Giai doan tti cuoi the ki XX den nay: T h a m van tap trung vao
linh vtfc van hoa, con gQi la tham van xuyen van hoa (cross-culture
counseling), trong do cac phep tri lieu m ang tinh triet trung.

l. Giai doan kh&i dau cua cong tac htf&ng nghiep va tham
van nghe - tit cuoi theki XIX sang dau th ek i X X

T r o n g the ki X IX , co n g tac trQ giu p tap tr u n g va o v ie c cu n g

cap nhting p h u c lQi can b an cho ngtfdi n g h e o , h u d n g d en viec
cho ldi k h u y e n va cu n g cap th o n g tin m a n g tin h g ia o d u e de cho
mQi n g u d i noi ch u n g , gid i tre noi rien g tr d nen s o n g tot h o n va
co kh a n a n g th ich ting vdi lao dQng co n g n g h ie p tr o n g giai doan
d au ctia cach m a n g co n g nghiep . V a o cuoi th e ki X IX , s a n g ntia
dau th e ki X X la giai doan dau cua co n g ta c h u d n g d an ngh'e, va
sau do la th a m v a n ngh'e vd i stf p h a t trien cu a p h o n g tra o sti
d u n g cac th a n g do - t r i e n g h iem , cua cac li th u y e t n g h ie n ctiu v'e
tam li ca nh an va stf ting d u n g dau tien cua li th u y e t P h an tam
hQc va o q u a trin h tri lieu nhting roi lo a n ta m li ctia co n ngudi.
N hting n g u d i co d o n g g op cho stf ra ddi cua th a m v a n htfdng
ng h iep tr o n g giai d o a n n a y la F ra n cis G a lto n , W ilh e lm W u n d t,
J a m e s C atell, G .S ta n le y Hall, A lfr e d B in et, J e s s e D avis, F ran k
P arson s, R o b e rt Y e rk e rs.

T ro n g suot the ki X IX , ket qua n ghien ctiu cua k h o a hQc thtfc

nghiem ting d un g cho con ngtfdi la stf p hat trien cua cac tr ie
nghiem tam li va giao due. Dac biet vao cuoi the ki XIX, tam li hQc
da n gav cang chiu nhi'eu anh htfdng cua dtfQc hQc hien dai, y khoa
va th u yet tien h o a m di. W ilh elm W u n d t (1832 -1920) va Francis
Galton (1822 - 1 9 1 1 ) ngtfdi A nh, nhting nha tam li hQc thtfc n ghiem
dau tien da phat trien nhting p hon g thtfc nghiem de kiem tra stf
khac biet v'e the chat cua con ngtfdi nhtf stic m anh c o bap. kich cd
dau va th di gian p han ting. Vi du, Galton (1875) da bat ta y vao
nghien ctiu stf k h a c biet tam li gitfa cac ca nhan. Dinh htfdng kh oa
hQc nay tro n g linh vtfc tam li hQc nhanh chong phat trien d M y. ncri
CHUONG 2: So lucic lich stf hinh thanh va phat trien 65

ma G. Stanley Hall (1846 - 1924) va Jam es Cattell (i8 6 0 - 1940),

n h im g nha tam li 1iqc th y c nghiem M y lan dau tien da m d phong
thuc nghiem tai Harvard va Dai hQc Pennsylvania cuoi the ki X IX
(Capshevv, 1992) va phat trien trac nghiem do nhan cach, trac
n ghiem dirQc ap d ung vao tham van ngh'e. T ron g khi do d Phap,
A lfred Binet (1857 - 1911) da phat trien trac n ghiem kiem tra tri
th on g m inh dau tien cho B q Giao dye, CQng hoa Phap n h am phan
biet n h im g diYa tre “binh th u d n g ” vdi nhim g dira “k h on g binh
th u d n g ” (IIothershall,i9 84 ). Vao dau the ki XX, nhung tr&c
n ghiem ve nang lire, nhir: Trac nghiem danh gia thanh ty u d$t
d u 'Q 'c o' trirdng hQc va trac nghiem danh gia nhan cach dUQc phat
trien. C u n g va thdi gian nay, Emil Kraepelin (1900) da phat trien
b an g phan loai b en h tam than dau tien tren the gidi v.v...

Cong tac hirdng nghiep phat trien dya tren khoa hQc trac
nghiem kiem tra sir khac biet tam - sinh li ciia cac ca nhan da
danh dau giai doan img dung rQng rai ban dau ciia cac cong cy do
hrd'ng va nhanh chong dirQc sit dyng de trQ giup cac ca nhan
trong viec ra quyet dinh chQn nghe. N hung cong cy danh gia ca
nhan tren nhanh chong ditQc sir dyng trong tham van nghe va
danh dau giai doan dau ciia nganh tham van chuyen nghiep. Ngay
nay trac nghiem ditQc tim thay d khap noi va thudng la mQt phan
quan trQng cho viec hieu sau ho'n than chii ciia chimg ta.

N a m 1907, Jesse Davis (1817- 1955) da xay d y n g cQ sd dao tao

dau tien ve cong tac hudng dan nghe tai Michigan. T u y nhien, ngudi
co anh hirdng ldn nhat den cong tac hu'dng nghiep d M y la Frank
Parsons (1854 - 1908). Ong da xuat ban cuon sach “Cam nang
h u d n g n g h iep ” n h am trQ giiip cac ca nhan trong viec ly a chQn nghe
nghiep. F. Parsons hi vQng cong tac hudng nghiep dUQc dua vao
trirdng hoc - m ot hi vQng dirQc trd thanh hien thuc nam 1908, sau
khi ong mat. N a m 1909, cuon sach “ChQn n g h e ” dUQc coi la s y cong
hien to ldn m a ong da de lai cho cong tac h u d ng nghiep. Phong tu
van dau tien tren the gidi da dirQc F. Parsons thanh l£p d Boston
(My) vao nam 1908. Parsons cho rang cong tac h u d n g nghiep phai
du'Q'c the hien trong ba qua trinh sau:
 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M LI
66

• Su" th au hieu m ot each ro rang ve ban th an, ve kh a nang,

sd thich hoai bao, ngu on lu t cu ng nhir nhtfng h a n che
cua ca nhan ddi vdi nghe; d ong ly c th u c d ay ca nhan
chon nghe.

• S y hieu biet v'e nhutig yeu cau cua nghe nghiep, dieu kien
thanh cong, nhimg thuan lQi va kho khan, nhutig co hoi
va nhimg trien vong phat trien trong cac gidi han khac
nhau cua cong viec.

• Hieu biet v'e m oi lien he gitia dac d iem ca n h a n ciia ban

than va yeu cau ciia cong viec cy the.

Nhting y tudng ciia F. Parsons trong cong tac hu dn g nghiep

da thyc sU trd thanh nguyen t i c ciia ngh'e tham van sau nay.
Parsons da nhan manh tam quan trong ciia viec phai co mQt
ngudi hudng dan chuyen nghiep va gQi y rang mot ngudi hudng
dan tot khong the dua ra cac quyet djnh cho ngudi khac, vi ttf moi
ngudi mdi biet phai quyet dinh dieu gi tot nhat cho chinh ban
than minh. Ong cung cho rin g mQt nha tham van nen trung thyc
va tot bung vdi than chii va dieu do co y nghia quyet dinh doi vdi
nha tham van trong viec trgr giup than chii phat trien nhting ki
nang phan tich. Vdi nhting ttf ttfdng neu tren, Parsons khong
nhting xting dang vdi danh hieu la ngudi sang lap nganh tham
van ngh'e, ma con dtfQc coi la ngudi sang lap ra linh vtfc tham van.

Sang the ky XX, do stf phat trien ciia trao ltfu htfdng nghiep va
tham van ngh'e, nen co stf banh trtfdng ri)ng hon ciia cac trac
nghiem. “Phong trao trie nghiem ” dtfQc trien khai d nhi'eu ntfdc
thuQC chau A u va B ic My. O giai doan nay cac trac nghiem khong
chi trQ giup trong linh vtfc tham van nghe, ma con dtfQc sti dung
trong quan doi, trong cac trtfdng hQc, cac cQ sd kinh doanh va cong
nghiep de do nhan cach - do cac bieu hien ciia stf xuc dQng, boi roi;
do kha nang nhan thtic, hting thu, tri thong minh... T r ie nghiem di
vao tat ca cac loai hinh thtfc hanh tham van trong xa hQi.

X et tti goc dQ phat trien ctia cac li th u yet ta m li hQc. cac nha
tien p h o n g ciia trtfdng phai Phan tam la S ig m u n d F reu d , A n n a
CHlfONG 2: Sa li/oc lich sif hinh thanh va phai trien 67

Freud, M e la n ie Klein, D onald W innicott, Carl Jun g, M argaret

L a w e n fe rd , A lfre d A dler. Phan ldn phep tri lieu phan tam cua S.
F reu d deu xuat phat tu1nhutig k h a m pha ve cac qua trinh vo thtic
va cac c o che p h o n g ve, ch u n g xuat hien khi con ngtfdi co xao tr<?n
v'e ca m xtic, n h am de ttf ve trtfdc nhting kinh n g h iem dau b u o n
m a con ngtfdi k h o n g dti stic ting pho. H qc th u yet cua F reud da
m d ra mQt cach nhin m di ve sti phat trien cua con ngtfdi. C ac nha
th a m van da van d u n g nhting li thuyet cua F reu d de ting d y n g
tr o n g viec giu p dd th an chu thoat khoi nhting roi nhieu tam li.
N h tin g thu£t ngti nhtf: ban nang xu n g dQng (vo thtic), b an nga (y
thtic) va sieu n ga (sieu thtic); cac qua trinh vo thtic, cac cQ che
p h o n g ve, stf d'e k h a n g va lien ttfdng th ong suot, stf ch uyen vai...
n g a y n a y da trd nen q uen thuQC doi vdi cac k h o a hQC trQ giup ve
ta m li, d ac b iet la doi vd i cac nha tham van ch u y en nghiep.

T h e o E.D. N e u k ru g , ba nhan to chinh de cau th anh nghe

th a m va n x u at hien tro n g giai dogn nay la cac li th u yet trac
n g h iem ; co n g ta c htfdng nghiep va cac li th u yet tiep c$n trong trj
lieu ta m li. T ro n g do, cac li thuyet tam li trj lieu v a cac p hep do
lu d n g ta m li da can th iep sau vao cac loai h in h th a m va n kh ac
nhau , la m h o a n th ien he th ong li th u yet gitip dd can b an cua
n g a n h th a m va n ch u y en nghiep.

2. Giai doan tham van phat trien nhtf mQt nganh

chuyen nghiep - gitfa th e k iX X

N a m 1930, E.G. W illiam son dua ra mQt li thuyet hoan chinh ve

th a m van vdi ten gQi la “Tiep c$n d£c diem va nhan to'”. W illiam son
de xuat cac b u d c ctia mQt hoat dQng tham van n h u sau:

1. Phan tich d an h gia va n de va l£p ho sQ ve stf tiep xtic v a t r i e

n g h ie m doi vd i th a n chu.
2. T o n g hQp, to m tat va sap xep th on g tin de hieu va n de.

3. C h a n d oan, la m san g to van de.

4. T h a m van, trQ giu p ca nhan tim cach giai quyet.

5. T h e o doi sat sao stf tien trien cu ng than chu.

 Patterson (1973) cho r i n g stf kh ac nhau can b an ciia tiep c£n
theo dac d iem va nhan to so vdi tham van hirdng n g h iep giai do$n
dau the ki la viec xac dinh dtfQc mQt chuoi cac btfdc cua m ot hoat
dQng trQ giup. D a y chinh la tien than cua “Q u a trin h th a m v a n ”.
T ro n g C hien tranh the gidi thu" hai, nhi'eu nha triet hQC, tam than
hQc, tam li hQc da tir chau Au sang M y va n g a y lap tire nhtfng tir
ttfdng ciia hQ da anh htfdng den tam li trj lieu va g iao diic d day.
Vi vay, co mQt so phUQng phap tri lieu N h a n va n - H ien sinh da
dUQc trien khai tai My.

A u b re y (1977) nhan dinh v'e stf phat trien ciia cac hQC thuyet
tam li, dUQc van d ung trong thuc hanh th am van n h u sau: Neu
phai chQn ra mQt thap ki trong lich sir co anh htfdng sau rQng nhat
den cac nha tham van thi do la thap nien 50 ciia the ki XX. Vao
thdi gian nay, cac li thuyet nghien ciru v'e qua trinh phat trien tam
li con ngtfdi da cho phep cac nha th am van van d im g no de giup dd
cho cac than chii ciia minh. Cac hQC thuyet ta m li n a y la cQ sd khoa
hQC cho viec nhan biet, giai thich nguon goc ciia h a n h vi va cac bieu
hien roi loan tam li d con ngudi, nhu: T h u ye t phat trien tam li - xa
hQi; T h u ye t phat trien tu duy tre em; T h u y e t phat trien d ao du’c
con ngudi; T h u ye t phat trien nhu cau con ngudi; T h u y e t gan bo me
- con; T h u yet ton thtfQng tam li. v.v...

Hiep hQi T a m li hQc Hoa Ki (APA) dUQc sa n g lap n am 1892

n h u la mQt Hiep hQi chii yeu ciia cac nha ta m li hQC kinh nghiem.
N hung, bat dau vao thap nien 20 ciia the k y X X , cac n h a tam li hQC
lam sang da tao ra anh h u d n g ldn h o n tro n g linh vtfc ch am chtfa
tam li va th am gia vao Hiep hQi vdi so lUQng ld n hon . Gitfa thap
nien 40, vdi stf sira lai va hQp nhat ciia rat nhi'eu H iep hoi Lam
sang m di (Finkel, 1994; Kelly, 1994; Y o u n g , 1992), Hiep hQi T am li
hQC Hoa Ki da phat trien phan nhanh tam li hQc th am va n cua A P A
(phan n h an h 17). Phan nh an h nay chia se nhi'eu diem ch u n g ve lich
sirv a m u c dich vd i n g a n h th a m van. Dieu nay cho th a y mQt thuc te
rang phan d on g cac nha tam li hQC hien nay d an g coi m in h la
nhim g ngudi lam thtfc hanh tam li, chir k h o n g dtfn th u an la cac
vien si h a y cac nha k h o a hoc li luan (W hiteley, 1984).
CHUONG 2: So luac lich su hinh thanh va phat trien 69

C u n g vao n h u n g nam 50 cua the ki XX, phtfOng p hap than

chu trQng tam cua C .R ogers (1902 - 1987) la mQt b u d c ch uyen tu1
sir th a m van co dinh hirdng, do anh hirdng cua hirdng nghiep,
sa n g th a m va n tap tru n g vao than chu va van d'e ciia hQ vdi tap
sach T ham van va tri lieu lieu tam li (C ou n selin g and
P syc h o th era p y), cu on sach co anh hirdng ldn lao den ngh'e tham
va n ch u y en n gh iep sau nay.

Ben canh n h u n g hirdng tiep can chinh, nhir tiep can phan tam
cua S. Freud; tiep can than chu trQng tam cua C. Rogers, thap ky
60 ciia th e ki X X d anh dau sir ra ddi ciia vo so n h im g cach tiep
can m di, nhir tiep can xuc cam thuan li ciia A lb ert Ellis (1961);
tiep can h a n h vi cua B an d u ra (1969); phep tri lieu hien t h u t cua
W illia m G la sser (1961- 1965); tiep can G estalt cua Fritz Peris
(1969); tiep dim im g xirhQC ciia Bern (1964) va tiep can hien sinh
cu a A r b u c k le (1968) va n h im g n g yd i khac... Tat ca cac h y d n g tiep
can th a m va n n a y da giiip ich cho s y phat trien ry e rd ciia nganh
th a m va n tro n g suot the ki XX.

Cac kien thirc ciia T a m li Iiqc thyc sir da anh hirdng va trQ
giiip rat nhi'eu cho nganh tham van. Vi du, T a m li hoc nhan cach
giiip lam sang to cac quan diem, cach nhin ve cau true nhan cach
con ngirdi dong thdi ciing giup cho cac nha tham van ton trQng
nhan cach ciia ngirdi khac trong moi quan he tham van. T a m li
hQC chan doan cung cap nhimg phirong phap pho bien ve chan
doan tam li, giiip lam sang to cac nghi ngd v'e nhimg van d'e tam li
ciia than chu. Kien thirc ciia tam li Iiqc hanh vi lech chuan giiip
nha tham van nam dirQc cac cach tiep can khac nhau v'e hanh vi
chuan m yc, benh li va sai lech, phan loai dirQc cac hanh vi lech
chuan can cir vao cac tieu chi khac nhau. Cac kien thirc trong linh
virc tam li Iiqc lam sang, tam li tri lieu lam cho nha tham van n im
dtfQ'c cac cach tiep can thuc hanh khac nhau ciia timg trudng phai
doi vdi than chii va van de ciia than chii, tir dd co dUQc cach can
thiep hQp lv. Cac li thuyet trong T a m li Iiqc phat trien giup cho
cac nha tham v an hieu dUQc cac qua trinh phat trien tam li ciia
con ngirdi trong cac giai doan phat trien khac nhau trong cuqc
 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M U
70

ddi, ma d do “Moi giai doan cua ddi ngirdi vira hung thanh qua
cua giai doan tnrdc vira gieo hat cho giai doan sa u ”1.

Tat ca nhimg kien thirc nay giup cho cac nha tham van hieu
dtfQc mire dQ phat trien d timg lira tuoi va nhimg giai doan khimg
hoang ma con ngirdi co the gap phai trong cac do tuoi nhat djnh.
Tir do co nhimg each thirc khac nhau de cac than chii co the viTQt
qua diTQc nhimg kho khan tam li d giai doan dd.

Nhin chung, nganh tam li hQC tao nen mQt kien thirc nen tang
chac chan ma cac nha tham van co the sir dung trong cong viec
cua minh, lam thu§n lQi hon cho cong viec ciia hQ vdi than chii.
Tam li hQC thtfc stf la ngtfdi anh ca ciia nganh trQ giup, dac biet la
nganh tham va n 2.

Stf ra ddi tieu ch uan dao dire ngh'e vao th£p nien 60 d an h dau
s y h inh th a n h cac hiep hQi th am van ngh'e q u o c gia. Stf p h a t trien
cua cong ta c dao tao cac nha th am va n va ta m li hQc tr o n g linh
vtfc thtfc hanh. C o n g tac giam sat th a m van ra ddi cim g vd i viec
xac dinh cac tieu ch uan danh gia ve b an g cap tr o n g dao tao tham
van va viec cap gia y phep hoat dQng cho cac n h a th a m v a n da gop
phan h in h th a n h ngh'e th am van ch uyen nghiep.

Khi m d i ra ddi, hinh thirc th a m v a n th tfdng la m la cho ldi

kh u yen, dtfa n g a y cac giai dap cho k h a ch h a n g . D a y la h in h thirc
th am van trtfc tiep. Vi vay, nha th a m van trd th a n h cac c h u y e n gia
chi dan, cho ldi kh u yen. T u y nhien, phtfOng p h a p n a y m ai vao
dau nhtfng n a m 80 (the k y X X ), m d i dtfQc q u a n ta m va dtfQc
th a m d in h .3 C ac n g h ien ciru th a m d inh n a y chi ra r i n g hinh thtfc
tiep can gian tiep (th a m van) co hieu qua h o n so vd i hinh thirc
tiep can trtfc tiep (ttf van, co van). T u y nhien, tai cac tr u n g tam
dich vu con ngtfdi nhtf trtfdng hQC, cac tru n g ta m dieu tri tam
than, cac tru n g ta m ttf van, cac b an n g a n h ve p h u c lQi xa hQi. cac

1 Patricia H. Miler, Cac thuyet trong tam Khoc phat trien, Vu Thi Chin dich. 2003.
: E.Newkrug, The gicri nha tham van, 1999.
1 Dan theo, Duane Brown, Walter B. Pryzwansky, Ann C. Shulte, Tu van tam li. g i& i
thieu li luan va thuc tien, Truong DHTH Bac Carolina, Chapel Hill. iqq=;.
CHUONG 2: So li/ac lich sii hinh thanh va phat trien 71

chtfQng trinh giao due va cac tiep can khac, phUQng thirc truyen
th o n g van la cu n g cap dich vu true tiep thong q ua tir van, tri lieu
true tiep vdi kh ach h an g (M onroe, 1979; Gutkin & Curtis, 1982;
R eyn olds, G u tkin, Elliot & W itt, 1984).

3. Giai doan tit cuoi the ki X X den nay - Tham van theo
xu hudng da van hoa

Hien nay dang co nhung quan diem rat da dang ban ve viec nha
th am van nen dung phUQng phap tham van nao. Tren the gidi dang
ton tai rat nhi'eu cach tham van: MQt so ngirdi theo quan diem cua
Phan tam hQc tim nhung nguon goc vo thuc, nhung c o che phong ve
do lo hai, stf chuyen vai tich cut... So khac theo phep tri lieu hanh vi
cam xuc thuan li la cho ldi khuyen giai thich true tiep hanh vi cua
than chii do xuat phat tir niem tin phi li ciia than chii d i n den nhtfng
cam nghi tieu cut. Phep tri lieu Gestalt nhan m anh nhi'eu den kinh
n ghiem hien tai ciia xuc cam - tu ttfdng cung dUQc mQt so nha tham
van tren the gidi quan tam. Quan diem tri lieu nhan van h u d n g tdi
viec giiip than chii tim cach kham kha va ttf giai quyet van de ciia
m inh cung dirQc nhi'eu nha tham van nhac tdi...

Giai d oan hien nay, mQt trong n h u n g th ay doi ldn nhat cua
th a m va n la tap tru n g vao linh vtfc van h o a h a y con gQi la th am
v a n x u ye n v a n hoa. Cac nha th am van cho rang se rat kh o kh an
tro n g viec giiip d d k h ach h an g neu nha th a m va n k h o n g n i m
dirQc nen ta n g van hoa ciia kh ach hang. W hitfield, M cG ra th va
C o le m a n (1992, dan theo N eu k ru g ) chi ra cac yeu to xac dinh mQt
m o h in h v a n h o a cu the, do la:

1/ Dac d ie m b a n th an ca nhan

2/ D ien m a o va cach an m ac

3/ C o n iem tin va h a n h vi dac trtfng

4/ M oi lien he vdi gia dinh va vdi cac dac trung quan trong khac

5/ C a ch d an h va sir d u n g thdi gian nhan roi

6/ C ach tiep thu va sir d un g kien thirc

72 G I A O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M U

7/ Cach thirc giao tiep va ngon ngir

8/ N h im g gia tri va cac tap tuc

9/Sir d un g th di gian va kh ong gian song

10/ T h oi quen an u on g va che bien m on an th eo p h o n g tuc

tap quan

11/ C on g viec va cach thirc thirc hien cong viec.

So sanh cac gia trj van hoa trong moi quan he tham van

C a c tieu Ngircri M y Ngucri M y Nguoi My Ngirai

chi go'c A g o c Phi Latinh Anh dicng

N g o n ngir N g o n ngir T ien g T d y B a n T h o n g ir / so n g !

Ngon
c h a u A / so n g E b o n ic s N h a / so n g n g ir n g ir
ngur g o c
n g ir

Quyen X a hQ i/ C a i X a hQi co tac T h u y e t d in h C a i td i

hanh/ tdi du'Q'c q u y e t do n g tieu c itc m e n h van h o d ; y

trach d in h trw &c d en con n g ird i m u o n cua C h ita

nhiem va va n hod

S ir k ie m c h e C o i trong l&i D ieu lo ca m x u c S a n g ta o / trai

ca m x u c , sir noi. N g h i ng& p h ii h a p v& i v a i n g h ie m tn r c

Quan
tir ch u . T u a n ngw &i co uy trd g i& i tr u y e n q u a n . C o i trong
ni£m -
l$nh n gw & i co qu yen . Van de th o n g . K h o a n g sw ch ia se.
Ung xir
uy q u y e n .I m trong gia dinh c a c h g ia o tiep K h o n g ca n thiep
( t ac
la n g la le dwc/c g iau kin. giira h a i n gw & i va o ngw &i kh ac. ;
t f png
p h e p . T im D in h hw &ng g a n h a n so v&i H a p tac. k h on g
den
k ie m l&i ha n h dong. k h o a n g c a c h cu a ca n h tra n h. Ke
tham
khuyen. Coi K h o n g ta p nh w n g n gw & i ch u y en an du v'e
van/tri
tr o n g h in h tru n g va o kinh th u o c n h o m v a n cu o c son g.
li£u t a m
thirc. T o i ldi, n g h iem tu o i h o d I&n.
H)
sir a n h a n c h i tha.

p h o i h a n h vi.

T u a n le n h \ N ghi nga T u a n th u n g ira i I o n tro n g nn w a i

ngw & i co u y ngw & i c o uy 1 co q u y e n . G ia o gid. T h w a n o sw

Gia°
qu yen . Ton 1 quy'cn. \ tiep b i c h i p h o i d u n g p h e p c~
ti ep
tr o n g n g ir d i | b a i v a i trd g i& i

g ia . tru y en th o n g .
CHUONG 2: So Iliac lich su hinh thanh va phat trien | 73

1 Moi D u n g ngon K h o n g co d a c C a c van d e ve D e k h o i ben h

q u a n hy n g ir ccf th e tritn g ch u n g . tam li va the ca n p h a i co stf

tinh b ieu Id d ie u v'e c h a t co q u a n he h o a hctp v&i

than/ x u c ca m . g a n g ui. th ien n h ien .

the chat

T h e o th u y e t M u c s tf d tfa S it d u ng Thien D u n g tru y en

d in h m en h : ra l&i k h u y e n . Chiia g ia o d e g ia i th u y e t d a n g ia n

Ton c u o c so n g la thich cu o c son g . va s ie u n h ie n d e

giao d o so. D im g truyen g ia i th ich s it

th u y et da n g ia n ca n b a n g v&i ttf

d e a n lii. n h ien .

G ia d in h m & G ia d in h m & G ia d in h m & G ia d in h m &

ro n g . \ ’a i trd ro n g . N h a y ro n g . G ia r o n g / B o toe.
lap
g ia d in h ca m v& i van tr tf& n g / v a i trd C a u tru e gia
! trung
tr u y e n th o n g . d e cua con g i& i k h a t kh e. d in h th a y d o i
v a o gi a
G a n bo v& i n g it& i. K h o n g tu y th e o b o toe.
dinh
g ia d in h . k h a t k h e ve

v a i trd gi&i.

(E . D. N e u k ru g , The g i& i cua n lu tn g n h a th a m v a n , 20 0 0 , tr a n g 3 2 9 -3 3 5 ) .

N h im g va n d'e van hoa lien quan den gen di truyen, m au da,

d o n g giong, tru y en th on g h a y van d'e tien bac, quyen lye, \i tri xa
hoi, vai tro xa hoi deu co lien quan den s y nay sinh nan d'e; cach
nhin nan d'e va cach xir li nan d'e cua m oi than chu. Khi cac nha
th a m va n thieu hieu biet ve nen tang van hoa cua than chu thi hp
de d im g tren q u a n d ie m ciia ban than de danh gia than chii. M at
khac, nha th a m van se co n g u y ca d anh gia thap tac d ong ciia ap
lye xa hoi doi vd i k h a ch hang, giai thich nan d'e ciia th an chii theo
xu hiro'ng b en h h oc m a kh on g tinh den ngu yen nhan tir co sd van
hoa. Dieu nay co the dan den s y chan doan n h a m va co the gay ra
n h im g ton thiro'ng cho than chii.

T h a m van da va n hoa la hirdng tiep can th an chu m a nha

th a m van co can nhac cy the den nen tang kh ac biet v'e van hoa
tru y e n th on g , h ien tai va n h im g kinh ng h iem ciia cac n h o m kh ach
h a n g k h a c nhau. Sir hieu biet v'e nen tang van h oa ciia than chii
74 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

dtfQc the hien qua thai dQ, ki nang va phtfOng phap tiep can than
chu se giup cho nha tham van li giai dtfQc li do nao, dieu gi khien
hQ cam nhan, suy nghi va hanh dQng nhtf vay. Qua do se chap
nhan ho hon va nhtf vay se giup cho than chu hieu dtfQc dieu gi la
nguyen nhan gay ra tinh trang hien tai va tu" do hQ co the ttf vtfQt
qua kho khan cua ban than.

T o m lai, n g a n h th am van tren the gidi th at stf trd nen ch uyen

nghiep khi:

- C ac hQC th u yet nghien cutf tam li ngtfdi phat trien.

- Cac htfdng tiep can tri lieu vdi ca nhan, nhom da thay doi,
hoan chinh cho phu hQp vdi nganh tham van.

- C ac to chtic, H iep hQi th am van ra ddi da x a y d im g cac quy

tac, ch u a n mtfc d ao dtic va p hap li cho ngtfdi la m co n g tac trQ
giup ta m ly.

- C ac phong kham stic khoe tam than, cac trung tam tham
van CQng dong, hay trtfdng hQC gia tang nhu cau v'e ngtfdi trQ giup
tam li.

- Cac hiep hQi, trtfdng hQC dao tao ngh'e tham van phat trien
manh, da dang va cong tac giam sat tham van theo htfdng ngav
cang khoa hQC va kiem soat chat che.

- B ang cap hoa nhting ngtfdi hoat dQng trong linh vtfc tham
van va xay dimg dtfQc nhting mo hinh d ao tao nha tham van
chuyen nghiep theo cac htfdng chuyen sau.

III. D IE M Q U A V A I N E T V E H O A T D 0 N G T H A M V A N O
V IE T N A M

O Viet Nam, vao nhtfng nam chin mtfOi cua the ki XX, mQt loat
cac hoat dQng ma nhin be ngoai co ve rdi rac, khac nhau nhtf stf
hinh thanh cac trung tam cong tac xa hoi vdi cac hoat dong giup dd
ngtfdi ngheo, nhting ngtfdi co hoan canh dac biet kho khan do stf
thay ddi va anh htfdng ciia kinh te - xa hQi; stf xuat hien cac trung
tam ttf van, cac dtfdng day ttf van dien thoai va cac hinh thtic ttf
CHUONG 2: Sc Iliac lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 75

van qua m a n g m a b an cfau la m ien phi; viec m an h dan sir d y n g cac

sinh vien nganh tam li vao cac hoat dQng ch am chira tam than tai
cac b en h vien, p h o n g kham va su* im g d ung da dang cac trac
n g h iem tam li vao hoat dQng htfcmg nghiep tai cac trtfdng trung
hQc va CQng dong... tat ca da gop phan hinh thanh nghe th a m van of
Viet N a m , m a kh di dau cua no la cong tac tu* van cho ldi khuyen.

l. Giai doan kh&i dau cua hoat dQng tham van o' Viet Nan

T a m li hQc du"Qc "du nhap" vao Viet N a m da diTQc gan 50

nam , vd i t u each la mQt nghe - ngh'e d ay tam li (ngh'e su1p ham ) va
ng h ien ciru ta m li. M a c du hien nay nganh T a m li hQC va n chira
dirQc cap m a so cho "nghe trQ giup tam ly". N h im g , cac hoat dQng
trQ giu p ta m li n h a m dap im g nhu cau xa hQi va n p hat trien va
k M n g d inh "cho d im g" cua m inh trong xa hQi. N g a y nay, tai cac
do thi ldn, khi cac ca nhan h oac gia dinh co van de ta m li hQ deu
biet tim den cac "bac si tam li" de nh d giup dd.

Sy p h a t trien ctia nghe tam li vdi ty each la mQt dich v y xa hQi

m a c du con q u a sQ khai, nhim g trong k h u o n k h o cua giao trinh
nay, c h im g tdi cu n g kh o co the dua ra nhutig cir lieu d ay du the
hien k h ia e^nh "Lich sir cua nghe trQ giup ta m li" d V iet N am . Vi
v$y, b a n g each m o ta thtfc trang cac hoat dQng th a m va n d V iet
N a m , c h im g tdi hi vQng se giiip sinh vien co dirQc mQt cai nhin
m a n g tinh to n g quat ve nh u n g khia canh kh ac nhau ciia ngh'e trQ
g iu p ta m li m a sinh vien co the lam khi tot nghiep ra trud ng.

T h y c te, n h im g hoat dQng trQ giup tam li cho n h u n g n g u d i co

k h o k h a n da x u a t hien tir rat sd m tro n g xa hQi V iet N a m . N h in tir
lich sir n g a n h C o n g tac xa hQi, tru d c 1945 tai mQt so b en h vien d
p h ia B ac n h u B e n h vien Bach M ai, mQt so can stf xa hQi (nhan
vien co n g tac xa hpi) da sir d un g th a m van, n h u m ot ki n a n g quan
trQng ciia C o n g tac xa hQi, va o qua trinh trQ giu p b e n h n h an tai
cac b e n h vien. 6 phia N a m , tru d c nam 1975, cim g vd i h oat d<?ng
C o n g tac xa h g i th eo h u d n g ch u yen nghiep da co ton tai cac hoat
dQng th a m v a n cho ca nhan, gia dinh tai CQng dong. T r u d n g Dao
tao C an stf X a hQi C aritas, tai 43 Tii XUQng, T h a n h p ho Ho Chi
76 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

M in h da trien khai chirong trinh dao tao nhan vien co n g tac xa

hQi, tron g do co cu ng cap cac ki nang trQ giu p va ki n a n g th am
van cho cac hQC vien. Cac hoat d ong cong tac xa hQi, tro n g do co
th am van hQC d u d n g bi ch ung lai sau giai p h o n g 1.

C h u n g toi cho r i n g "ngh'e tham va n tam li", m a khcri d au la

cong tac t u van tam li, dUQc xuat hien vao n h im g n am cua th di ki
ch uyen doi t u nen kinh te bao cap san g kinh te thi tr u d n g -
kh o a n g cuoi thap nien 80 va dau thap nien 90 cua the ki XX. V ao
thdi ki nay, cac hoat d ong tu van tam li th u d n g di kern vdi cac
chtfOng trinh cai thien cuqc song va kinh te cho cac doi tUQng
thuQC dien chinh sach xa hQi. C on g tac t u va n la mQt p h an trong
cac h oat d on g cua co n g tac Tu" thien, C o n g tac xa hoi, n h S m giai
quyet n h u n g van d'e m a n g tinh thdi dai, n h u ddi ngheo, b e n h tat,
mai d am , n g u d i co HIV, tre m o coi, tre lan g th an g, n g u d i gia
kh on g noi nUQng tua..., vdi nh u n g ton thtfOng ta m li sau sac.

N eu nhin hoat dQng th am van tir goc dQ ngh'e trQ giu p tam li,
th eo d an h gia ciia T hS. N g u ye n Thi O anh, "P h o n g T u va n tam li"
dau tien dUQc th a n h lap d T h a n h pho Ho C hi M in h la va o nam
1988, do TS. T a m li T o T hi A n h phu trach. C ac doi tUQng tdi day
xin t u van thuQC m oi th a n h p han va cac nhu cau trQ g iu p cu n g da
dang. Do T ru n g ta m T u van T a m li n a y co dich vai tri lieu tam li
ch u yen sau nen cac kh ach h a n g co nan d'e bi tr a m trQng da
th u d n g den d a y xin trQ g iu p 2.

Cong udc Quoc te v'e Quyen Tre em (1991) da dUQc Nha nude
phe chuan va ban h a n h Luat Bao ve va Cham soc Giao due Tre em
da gop ph an nang cao trach nhiem cua gia dinh, cac co quan nha
nude va cac to chirc xa hoi trong viec ha n che van d'e vi p ham
quyen tre em va tre em lam trai phap luat. Bang nghiep vu
chuyen m on ciia minh, Uy ban Bao ve Cham soc Tre em V ie t Nam
(ten cu) da xay dimg nhi'eu mo hinh cham soc tre em. trong dd co

1Trieh tai lieu tap huan v'e cong tac xa hoi cua ThS. Nguyen Thi Oanh. 199“
; Nguyen Thi Oanh, Sai Gon - Thanh pho Ho Chi Minh 300 nam h i n h t h a n * l c
phat trien, 1698 - 1998. phan "Cac hoat dong xa hQi va Cong tac xa hoi chuyen
nghiep", trang 593.
CHUONG 2: Sa li/ac lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 77

m o hinh V a n p h o n g Tir van, n h i m bao ve tre em co hoan canh

dac biet kh o khan, nhir tre em lang thang kiem song 0 th anh pho,
tre em trp m cap, tre nghien hut, tre bj boc lQt lao dpng va tinh
due, tre em m o coi k h o n g noi niTOng tUa... V a o n am 1995 - 1996,
ca n u d e da co cac V an phong Tu1van, nhir V a n p h o n g Tu" van quan
H oa n Kiem (H a NQi), Van phong Tir van d Q u a n g Tri, d Hue; V an
p h o n g Tir van d th anh pho Da N ang, d Ba Ria - V u n g Tau. N h u n g
k h o a tap h u an gan nhir dau tien v'e tu" van tre em do U y b an Bao
ve va Cham soc T re em Viet N am to chirc tai Ha NQi da dat nen
ta n g cho h a n g loat cac hoat dQng tap huan nang cao nang lire
th a m van cho can bQ lam viec trong linh v u t b ao ve tre em sau
nay. C ac can b<? th a m van tham gia giang d ay tro n g cac chirong
trinh th a m van tre em vao thdi gian dd la TS. N g u y e n Thi Lan,
P G S .T S. T ra n Thi M in h Dire, TS. Bui X u a n M ai va mQt sd can bQ
lanh dao tro n g n ga n h Bao ve Cham soc Tre em d H a NQi1.

V a o n h im g n a m 19 9 7 - 200 0 , d T h a n h p h o H o C h i M in h 2
co h a n g ch iic P h o n g T h a m van H IV xu at hien . N h ie m vu ciia no
chii ve u la c u n g ca p th o n g tin, giai d ap th a c m a c v a ch o ldi
k fm v e n . N g o a i ra, sir x u a t hien ciia cac T r u n g ta m Tir van , nhir
T r u n g ta m Tir v a n "T inh yeu, H on nh an , G ia d in h " ( th u o c HQi
T a m li g ia o d u e h o c th a n h p ho), T r u n g ta m Tir v a n Hirdng
D iro n g (thuQC L ien d o a n Lao dQng th a n h p h o) eting da g op
p h a n la m ta n g hrQng k h a ch h a n g tdi tir v a n tru e tiep h o a c tir
v a n q u a d ie n th o a i 108 rat dong. Sir x u a t h ien ciia cac d ich vu
t h a m v a n / tr i lieu tru e tiep n h a m g iu p dd ch o cac doi tUQng la
tre e m bi la m d im g tin h due do T r u n g ta m C o n g ta c X a hQi,
thuQC HQi L ie n h ie p T h a n h nien V ie t N a m ke t hQp v d i T ie n si
T a m li T r a n T h i G io n g da d an la m th a y doi tin h ch at ciia h o a t
dQng t h a m v a n - Tir t u v a n cho ldi k h u y e n chii y e u b a n g dien
th o a i c h u y e n d a n s a n g tu v a n true tiep, tap tr u n g sau va o v a n

1 Tai lieu ciia Uy ban Baova Cham soc Tre em Viet Nam, Quy che hoat dong van
phdng tit van Bao ve cham soc va Gicio due tre em, Tai li£u bai giang cho lop tap
huan hutmg dan cong tac tir van cho tre em, Ha Noi 5/1997.
: Nguyen Thi Oanh. Sai Gon - Thanh pho Ho Chi Minh 300 nam hinh thanh va
phat trien 1698-199S. Sdd, tr.593.
78 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M LI

d'e ta m li cu a ngtfdi xin trQ giup. T r o n g th d i g ia n n a y T ie n si

Gi'ong c u n g to chtic nhi'eu ld p tap h u a n v'e th a m v a n ta m li cho
cac can bQ, g ia o v ien v a g ia o d ue vie n d u d n g p h o , n h S m m d
rp n g va n a n g cao ch a t ltfQng th a m v a n ch o ca c ddi ttfQng xa h<?i
la m v ie c v d i ngtfdi bi ton thtfOng ta m li. V a th a t la m a y m i n ,
v a o cu oi n a m 1998, c h u n g tdi - nhting ngtfdi la m v ie c tinh
n g u y e n tr o n g n h o m C o n g ta c xa hQi p h ia B i c , c u n g dtfQc TS.
Gi'ong ta p h u a n v'e th a m v a n tam li, dtfdi stf tai trQ k in h phi cua
to chtic ctiu trQ tre e m T h u y D ien - R a d d a B a rn e n .

Hien nay, dich vu tham van va tri lieu tam li xuat hien d kha
nhi'eu cong ty, cQ quan va trudng hQC. Co the ke ra mQt so cQ sd
tham van, tri lieu, nhu: CQ sd tham kh am tam li tre em N -T cua co
bac si N guyen Khac Vien, Cong ty T h a m van Share, T ru n g tam
T h a m van Ho trQ T a m li - Giao due CPEC; T ru n g tam TU van va Ho
trQ T a m li (Trudng Dai hQc Khoa hQC X a hQi va N h a n van, Dai hQc
Quoc gia Ha NQi); T ru n g tam U ng d ung T a m li hQC ctia V ien T a m li
hQc; T ru n g tam T u van va Dich vu Truyen th ong (U y b an Dan so,
Gia dinh va Tre em - cu); Trung tam Sao Mai; T ru n g tam T h a m van,
Stic khoe, T a m than, T a m li va Giao due cho v\ th anh nien, Trung
tam T h a m van T a m li Hoang Nhan, T ru n g tam Ttf va n T a m li VA LA;
Phong T h a m van T a m li Hoa Stia (Trtfdng T ru n g cap Kinh te - Du
lich Ttf thuc), C ong ty Ttf van A n Viet Son, P ho n g Ttf van Online
(Cong ty Ttf van Dau ttf Y te - CIHP); cac trtfdng pho th ong trung
hQC nhtf trtfdng Dinh Tien Hoang, N g u yen T at T han h, T ran Htfng
Dao; dtfdng d ay ttf van 1088 h oac 1900; cac cQ sd th am k h a m tam li
- y te nhtf Khoa T a m than (Vien Q uan y 103), K hoa T a m than nhi
(Benh vien Nhi T ru n g tfQng), Khoa T a m than, (Vien T a m than
T ru n g tfQng Bach Mai), Benh vien b an n gay M ai Htfang, Phong
kh am Tuna... D a y la nhting dia chi thu htit cac khach han g co nhu
cau tham van/tri lieu d phia Bac.

Dtfdi d a y chting tdi xin trinh b a y ki h o n v'e cac chu de th a m

van, cac h in h thtic th a m va n va cac cQ sd cu n g cap dich vu th a m
va n (dan h gia chu yeu d phia Bac). Tren cQ sd dd se dira ra d an h
gia sQ bQ v'e tinh h in h hoat d ong th am van hien nay d V ie t N a m .
CHUONG 2: So li/cic lich sQ hinh thanh va phat trien 79

1. Cac chu de tham van

V a o nhtfng nam 90 cua the ki XX, cong tac giu p dd tam li chu
yeu la hoi dap cac van d'e v'e phap luat, chinh sach, h o n n h an gia
d inh, nuoi d ay con cai, bao ve va cham soc tre em. T ro n g khi do,
cac va n d'e m at can b a n g tinh than do cuqc son g thtfc te g a y nen
nhtf: tinh tran g nghien ngap, cac hien ttfQng x a m hai, kh iing
h o a n g ta m li, nhtfng kh o kh an trong hQC dtfdng, tro n g ddi song
h o n n h a n gia dinh, va n d'e H IV/A ID S...

- T ha m van H IV /A ID S

MQt tro n g nhtfng loai hinh tham van dtfQc coi la q uan trQng d
V ie t N a m , do la th a m van H IV/A ID S. N g a y tu11993, cu on Tu: van
H IV /S ID A (khai n iem ttf van d ung trong tai lieu n a y dtfQc cac tac
gia chii giai tit kh ai niem C ousneling - th a m v a n ) 1 do G S .T S Le
H o n g D ien chu bien xu at ban. M y c dich cua giao trinh la giu p cac
cac ca nhan tro n g xa hQi, dac biet la doi tUQng co H I V / A ID S tang
ctfdng hieu biet ve H IV /A ID S , htfdng dan q u y trinh th a m va n cho
ngtfdi co H I V / A ID S va h u y dQng CQng d ong tro n g h o a t dQng th a m
v a n H IV /A ID S .

C o the noi, d V ie t N a m cong tac h u d n g dan, th a m van cho

n g u d i co H IV va tru y en th ong ve H IV dUQc k h d i xtfdng tir cac bac
sy, tir n g a n h y te. Nhtfng nam gan d ay cac tru n g ta m th a m van
H IV / A ID S , mQt so tru n g tam bao trQ xa hQi, cac b en h vien ldn
ciia cac th a n h p h o h o a c cac to chirc xa hQi k h a c deu th a m gia cong
tac th a m va n cho ngtfdi co H IV /A ID S. Phat trien m a n h m e cac
k h o a d ao tao v e th a m van H IV /A ID S cho cac tinh n g u ye n vien.
C ac dich vu trQ giiip cho ngtfdi co H IV /A ID S chii ye u tap tru n g d
T h a n h p ho Ho C hi M in h va Ha NQi.

H oa t dQng th a m van m an h m e nhat v'e linh vtfc ch am soc tinh

th a n ch o ngtfdi co H IV va ngtfdi bi anh htfdng va n la k h o i cac N h a
chiia (cac Stf th ay, Stf co), cac N h a th d T h ien C hiia v a cac T ru n g
ta m n u oi d tfdng ngtfdi co HIV. Hien nay, cac cQ sd th a m va n

1 Uy ban quoc gia phdng chong SIDA Met Nam, Tirvan HIV/SIDA Ha NQi 1993.
 G I A O T RI NH T H A M V A N T A M LI

H IV /A ID S hoat dpng h'au nhu" chira m a n g tinh doc lap nhu- mot
dich vu ngh'e, m a ch u n g thtfdng nSm dirdi su" b ao trgr cua Chinh
p hu va cac to chtic phi chinh phu, cac hoat dQng trQ g iu p nay co
tinh chat tir nguyen.

- Tham van bao hanh

T h a m van b ao hanh phu nti cu ng la chu d'e dirQc cac to chtic

Q u oc te d on g tai V iet N a m nhir Unicef, R ad da b arn en , Care, Ngan
h an g T h e gicfi, Hoi d ong Dan so, To chtic Plan q u a n tam . Da co
nhting dir an vdi sir giu p dQ cua cac ch uyen gia th am van v'e bao
hanh, ho da to chtic trien khai tirong doi rong rai nhi'eu kh oa tap
huan v'e th am van bao hanh. Nhi'eu trung tam tir van x u at hien
vdi sir giiip dQ ciia cac d y an, chirong trinh nh&m giiip cac can bg>
lam th a m van co nhting kien thtic va ki nang trQ giiip cho nhting
phu nti, tre em bi b ao hanh trong gia dinh. H inh thirc th a m van
nay chu yeu qua dien thoai va true tiep. 6 n o n g thon, cac dich \ti
n ay thtfdng diTQc giiip b oi to hoa giai h oac cac chi hQi phu nti
thon, hQi phii nti xa. O cac thanh pho ldn, nhi'eu tru n g ta m tir van
hinh th a n h vdi cac dich vu tham van tra tien da thu hut rat nhi'eu
ngirdi (chii yeu la phii nti) den tir van.

- Tham van tinh yeu, tinh due, hon nhan , gia d inh

T ro n g mirdi n am lai d ay cac chii d'e can th a m van co lien quan

den viec giai quyet cac q uan he b an be, tinh yeu, kien thtic ve tinh
due, nhir: tinh diic tuoi th a n h nien, trtfdc h o n nhan, tinh due vq
chong, lam d u n g tinh due, q u a y roi tinh due, bat lire v'e tinh due;
nhting va n d'e giao due con cai, hQc h a n h ctia con cai, x u n g d<?t
q uan he vq chong, q uan he d on g nghiep, cac tri thtic lien quan tdi
p hap lv... k h a phat trien d V iet N am . N hting chii d'e th a m va n nay
phat trien vd i nhi'eu loai hinh giup dd k h a c nhau, rat p h o n g phii
va da d an g nhu": tir van qua dien thoai, qua thir, tir van tren dai
bao, tir van qua b ao chi va tir va n trirc tiep tai cac tru n g tam tu"
van. Phat trien nhieu nhat van la tu" van qua dien thoai. Hien nay
cac dia chi co djch vu tir van theo n h o m chii d'e nay phai ke den la
dirdng d ay tir van 1088 , trong dd co tir van An V iet Son. tir van
CHUONG 2: So luoc lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 81

Linh T am ; tir van qua m a n g (dir an chat cua CIH P), T ru n g tam
U n g d y n g T a m li h<?c cua Vi$n T a m 11 hQC...

- T ham van tre em lam trai p h a p luat

D a y la mQt loai chu d'e va cung la doi tiTQng th a m van diTQc

N h a ntfdc q uan tam rat sdm. N g a y tu" nhim g n a m 1996 -2000,
tren p h a m vi cac thanh pho lcfn nhir Ha NQi va T h a n h pho Ho Chi
M in h da xuat hi?n cac du" an bao v$ tre em, tron g do co m a n g tu"
v a n tre em la m trai p hap luat. Cac p h o n g tu1van dtfQc hinh thanh
tai CQng d on g vdi cac tinh ngu yen vien lam co n g tac tir van mien
phi cho cac n h o m tre em, chu yeu la tre em lan g th an g kiem song
tren dtfdng pho.

D ac bi£t, hi£n n a y dtfdi su1 chi dao cua C y c V 2 6 , cac trtfdng

giao dtfdng d an h cho vi thanh nien vi p h a m p hap lu£t trong ca
ntfdc, nhtf T rtfd n g G iao dtfQng so 2 N inh Binh, trtfdng so 3 Da
N S ng, trtfdng so 4 D o n g Nai va trtfdng so 5 L ong A n vdi tong
CQng k h o a n g la k h o a n g 3 7 0 0 1 (tap tru n g nhieu d n h o m tir 16 den
dtfdi 18 tuoi) dtfQc htfdng cac dich vu th a m va n trong kh o a n g 2
nam . So tre em va o cac tr y d n g giao dtfdng chii yeu co h a n h vi
trQm cap, ctfdp ciia, lira dao, g a y roi trat ttf, d anh ngtfdi gay
thtfOng tich... X u a t phat tu" nhan dinh rang cac em nay d an g d giai
d oan ttf k h a n g d jnh b an sac ca nhan, neu thieu v a n g stf htfdng
dan, d a y dd v a tin h y e u thtfOng cua gia dinh; thieu v a n g stf kiem
soat xa hQi thi se g a y ra k h o n g it nhtfng trd ngai cho q u a trinh
trtfdng th a n h ciia cac em. Vi v | y , dtfdi stf dau ttf cQ sd v a t ch at cua
N h a ntfdc (nhtf x a y p h o n g ttf van, ho trQ cac th a m va n vien lam
th a m va n n g o a i gid...), dac bi£t stf ho trQ cua cac to chirc q u o c te
tai V ie t N a m , nhtf U nicef, Q u y Dan so T h e gidi, T o chirc Plan...
nhi'eu k h o a tap h u a n nang cao nang ltfc th a m van ve hieu biet tam
li tre em noi c h u n g v a tre em lam trai p hap lu£t noi rieng; ve sire
k h o e sinh san v a sire k h o e tinh dye; ve H IV /A ID S cho cac giao

1 So lieu hQc sinh cac trudng giao dtfdng trong ca ntfdc do cac trtfdng cung cap
thang 7 nam 200S. Con so nay luon co stf thay doi vi hang ngay van co cac em
vao trtfdng va hang thang ra trtfdng vdi cac so ltfdng tre khac nhau.
82 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M U

vien tham van cua cac trtfdng da dtfQc thtfc hi£n. Muc dich la giup
cho cac thay co ho trQ cac em thich nghi va dtfQng dau tot vdi
cuqc song trong trtfdng va khi cac em tai hoa nhap gia dinh va
CQng dong.

Hi£n nay hoat dQng tham van tai cac trtfdng la kha quy cu.
Cac hQc sinh muon dtfQc tham van chi can dien vao phieu xin
tham van thi se dtfQc xep lich tham van. Ngoai ra, cac trtfdng md
rQng vi$c nang cao nang ltfc tham van cho ca cac giao vien chu
nhigm da lam giam di ganh nang cho cac giao vien to tham van;
lam cho cac cuqc tham van bdt mang tinh hinh thi'rc va higu qua
hQn, do cac giao vien chii nhi£m la ngtfdi gan gui nhat vdi hQC
sinh ciia hQ, nen hQ nam bat tam li ciia cac em sat thtfc hQn.

2. Cac hinh thitc tham van

Trong nhtfng nam gan day, d Viet Nam xuat hi£n nhieu hinh
thirc tham van khac nhau, nham dap img nhu cau cQ ban ciia
ngtfdi dan. Hign nay tham van la mQt hoat dQng khong the thieu
dtfQc trong cuqc song sinh hoat hang ngay, dtfQc phat trien vdi
nhi'eu mire do khac nhau. Ttfu chung lai ta co the khai quat vao cac
loai hinh tham van tam li sau.

- Tham van qua th it/ b a o in

Trong cac hinh thirc tham van, tham van qua bao in la loai hinh
xuat hign sdm nhat d Viet Nam. Cac muc "tam sir" tren cac bao
thuQC vao hoat dQng nay. Day la hinh thirc tham van gian tiep chii
yeu cho cac than chu gap rac roi trong tinh yeu, hon nhan va hanh
phuc gia dinh. Hinh thirc tham van bieu hien dtfdi dang mQt btfc thir
vdi nhimg van d'e dtfQc than chii trinh bay ngan gQn co dQng. trong
do than chii mong muon toa soan bao giai dap, thac mac v'e nhung
van de khien hQ dang ban khoan suy nghi va dau kho. Loai hinh
tham van nay thtfdng xuat hien tren cac bao nhtf: Tien phong. Phu
ntf, Sinh vien, Hanh phuc gia dinh, The gidi Phu ntf The gidi Dan
ong, hay cac muc "Chuyen muc hon nhan gia dinh" bao Sai Gon Giai
phong, bao Tuoi tre, Phu ntfva Phap luat...
CHUONG 2: So li/ac lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien .. 83

D$c diem chung cua tham

van qua thu" - bao la ngtfdi tra ldi
thir phai co kien thirc ve tam li
hoc, giao d y e hoc, luat hoc, y te...
d ong th di biet v£n d ung li thuyet
Toi luon muon ro rang trong
mQi van de nen ban dau khi
thwc tap tham van qua viet thu'
cho than chu toi sti dung giong

kh oa h o c vao ddi song th y c tien van qua cting. Toi luon chu

cua co n g d ong trong qua trinh trong vao thong tin dwqfc dwa

th am van, nam d y o c cac ki nang ra d eh ieu van de cua than chu

c o b an cua th am van. T h a m van nhieu han. Vi vay tdi da dat ra

b a n g t h y co m ot so d§c diem nhting cau hoi mang ham y

rieng n h u sau: K hach tham van khang djnh, doc len co cam

k h o n g biet ai d trung tam se doc giac bj chat van, ma khong chu

va xtf li t h y cua m inh, do dd t h y trong vao cam xuc cua than

dUOc viet h oa n toan do ban than chii. Nen hai la thw dau toi viet

th an chu t y su y nghi, kh ong co cho than chii khong tot. Cac tu:

m ot anh h y d n g nao h a y m ot tac van vien cf ca sa da giiip toi

d on g nao tir phia ch uyen vien. nhan ra dwac dieu quan trong

T u y nhien do k h o n g dtfOc g§p gd trong btic thw la giiip cho than

de n h an biet diroc kh ach hang chii thong hieu van de ciia minh

qua vi£c q uan sat ve mat, di^u bo va chia se dwac cam xiic ciia

cir chi nen co nhieu th on g tin ve than chii.

kh ach h a n g bi thieu. Khi than chu (LLP, K 49, 2007)__________

co n h im g b u t xiic ta m li, chuyen
vien th a m va n k h o n g the tran an, chia se kip thdi vdi than chu. Vi
v&y th a m van qua t h y th u d n g kem tinh thdi sy. T rong tham van
thu, neu than chii co x a y ra dieu gi xau co lien quan den th am van,
ch u y en vien th a m van se chiu trach nhi<?m phap luat vdi nhung
ch im g cd ro rang.

T h o n g q u a v iec th u th ap ngau n hien cac b ai t u v a n tren b a o -

105 b ai (vd i cac b u t d an h n h u T h a n h T a m , T a m G iao, H a A n h ,
H a n h D u n g , C o n G ai, H a n h D u yen ), ch im g toi n h a n th a y co 82
b ai ( c h ie m 7 8 % ) la ciia chi em gui den. N h u v£y, ddi ttfdng "cd
v a n de" chii y e u la cac chi em. C u n g cd the n h ieu n g u d i d an ong
c u n g “ cd v a n d'e" n h im g k h o n g boc lo va k h o n g n h d th a m van
84 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M li

qua hinh thirc thu1 - bao. Dac diem de nh^n thay qua cac bai
tham van tren bao la cac chuyen gia tham van mcfi chi dim g lai d
vigc chia se va ban luan sir kign theo hirdng phe phan h a y ngQi
khen khach hang. Cac ca tham van m ang dam s i c thai giao due
theo cac chuan m y c xa hQi, khuyen giai cho khach h a n g m a chua
dat tdi trinh dQ chuyen nghiep (nha tham van chua b<?c 1q dUQc
kha nang chuyen m on the hign qua vigc hieu biet tam li doi
tyQng, chtfa cd ki nang tham van qua bao, nhi'eu bai bao mang
nhung giai phap triet chung khong ro m uc dich tham van cho
doi tUQng nao: cho ngudi dang cd van d'e h a y cho ngu di se gap
van de tu o n g ttf n h u vay, hay cho toan ban dQC?). V igc cac ca
tham van tren bao it di vao tam tinh ciia chi em, m a lai trUng ra
hinh anh cac chi em vdi cac stf kign dUQc mo ta that dang
thtfOng va that kern coi va ket hQp vdi cac ten d'e dtfQc cac nha
tham van dat cho nghe rat "thi trtfdng"... khien cho hi£u qua
tham van tren bao bi han ch e.1

- T h a m va n q u a d a i

H i?n n a y tr e n s o n g Dai T ie n g noi V ig t N a m tr o n g chtfOng

trin h p h a t th a n h th a n h nien tir lu c io h d en I0h30 v a o sa n g chii
n h a t h a n g tu a n cd m u c “T r u n g ta m ttf v a n cira sd tin h y e u ”. 0
d a y cac th a n ch u cd v a n d'e can th a m v a n gQi di£n th o a i trtfc tiep
d en p h o n g th u v a se cd cac c h u y e n gia th a m v a n la m vi£c vd i hQ.
Cuqc d ien th o a i n a y dtfQc p h a t trtfc tie p tren Dai T ie n g noi Vi£t
N a m v a p h a t s o n g di to a n q u o c. D a y la loai h in h th a m v a n nham
d ap im g n h u ca u n g h e dai cu a n h a n dan.

Q ua viec thu ba n g de phan tich cho sinh vien h gc cac ca

th am van thtfc hien tren dai (phan tich chii yeu cac ki nan g ciia
ngtfdi th am van), chung toi nhan thay hinh thirc tham van qua
dai chii yeu nhtf m ot cuqc trd chuygn theo xu hirdng g ia o due,
cho ldi k h u y en h o n la mQt cuqc tham van theo du ng n g h i a . D i e u
han che n ay chii yeu do stf gidi han cua thdi gian ttf van, sir gian

1Tran Thi Minh Du'c, Ban ve hieu qua cua txf van tren bao, Tap chi TLH so ~ 2002
CHLfONG 2: Sff Iliac lich sQ hinh thanh va phat trien 85

tiep cua tu1 van va tinh cong khai hoa cua cac moi quan h<? von
dUQc gQi la "bao m at".1

- T ha m van q u a dien thoai

Tir n h tin g nam 19 8 0 , Nam 1997, Trung tam tw van

th am van d i? n th oai
dirQc sti d u n g nhu" la mQt
t r o n g n h t in g phiTOng ti£n
c h in h g itia th an chii
n h a t h a m v a n ( h a y ngirdi
trQ g itip ). T r o n g thirc te,
M cL eod ( 1993 ) da cho
r a n g do la h i n h thtic t h a m
v a n h i?u q u a n h a t. T h a n
chii co t h e diTQc n h a n
t h a m v a n q u a di£n thoai,
diTQc gitip dQ, cu ng cap
t h o n g tin va n h tin g dich
vu k h a c (x em W allb a n k,
da Tam li Giao due Tinh yeu-Hon
nhan va Gia dinh tai thanh pho
ITS Chi Minh v&i 8 dw&ng day tu"
va van dau tien ra dcfi, dd thitc hien:
67437 cuoc tir van trd tien 1800
dong/phut; 8640 cuoc tw van
mien phi; 1230 cuoc tw van trite
tiep; 198 cuoc tit van qua thw;
Noi dung tw van dwg'c phan loai:
-10 % ve van de li hon
- 70% ve tinh yeu, tinh due, cac
van de gia dinh, bao hanh.
-15 % ve giao due tre em

1997). N h t in g dao tao - 5% ve noi dung khac

c h u y e n m o n d a dirQc th ie t (Trich bao cao ciia Giam doc
la p d e la m lo a i c o n g v i? c Trung tam tong ket nam dau thyc
nay (P a lm er va M iln e r , hi£n dir an1)
1997 )-
Nhting nam 1990 la thdi ki bung no ctia tham van di<?n thoai
“dirdng day n o n g ”, ban dau cung cap thong tin va sau do la tham
van (Palm er va CQng sir, 1998). Mot trong nhting diem m anh ctia
dich vu tham van di?n thoai la kha nang cung cap s y ho trQ, cung
cap thong tin, dira ldi khuyen mien phi va dang tin cay. D<?i ngti
nhan vien hd trQ th u dng dUQc dao tao va/hoac cd nhting hieu biet

1 Dan theo Le Thi PhtfOng Mai va Katharine Landfield, Bao cao giai doan 1: Ket qua
khao sat hoat dong tir van cua trung tam tam li ttf van tam li giao due tinh yeu- hon
nhan va gia dinh, 199S.
86 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M U

ca nh an v'e n h u n g kh o kh an dien hinh cua ngtfdi g Q i di?n d ang

noi ch u yen v d i h Q (xem W allban k , 19 9 7 )1.

O Ha N oi v a T h a n h p ho Ho
Trung tam tw van va dich vu
Chi M in h tr o n g k h o a n g hQn 10
truyen thong (Dw&ng day tw
n a m trQ lai day, dich v y tu1 van
van va ho trcf tre em
qua di£n th o a i dtfQc to n g dai
18001567), co ngay tiep nhan
1088 noi v d i cac tr u n g ta m tu" van
td i 500 cuqc goi cua khach
n g a y ca n g p h a t trien. C o n g dan
hang.
tr o n g to a n q u o c co th e g Q i th eo so
m a y do v a xin “ Ki n a n g c u q c Tong so phut tw van trung
s o n g ” h a y “T r u n g ta m tu" va n tam binh cua mot thang & Trung
li tinh c a m ” , h a y "T ru n g tam tu" tam site khoe hanh phuc gia
va n ta m li g iao d y e tinh yeu - hon dinh la 32.000 phut v&i 160 ca
n h an v a gia d in h"... giu p dQ. Tai trite.2____________________
d ay cac k h a c h h a n g se dtfQc cac ch u y en gia "giai dap ". Stf ra doi
cua cac tr u n g ta m ttf va n dap umg dtfQc nhu cau c u n g cap th ong
tin, xin ldi k h u y e n , ttf va n de giai q u y et cac v a n d'e tin h cam , van
de sure k h o e sin h san v a tinh due, cac m o i q u a n h ? tro n g gia
dinh; q u a n h ? b a n b e, tinh yeu.

C hi tin h rien g d Ha NQi, kh i n h a c m a y v a gQi den cac tong

dai nhtf 10 88 h o a c 19 0 0 de xin ttf v a n thi c h u n g ta se dtfQc
htfdng d a n de chQn 11 cQ sd cu n g cap dich vu k h a c nhau . Cac
d tfdng d a y ttf v a n dtfQc nhi'eu ngtfdi b ie t d en nhtf 1 8 0 0 1 5 6 7 (ttf
v a n m ie n phi ch o tre em to a n quoc)...

O T h a n h p h o H o C hi M in h , de dtfQc ttf v a n ta m li, ngtfdi ta

cd th e gQi d en 0 8 .8 6 8 0 4 5 6 , d ay la mQt dia chi ttf v a n m ien phi
ve stress, cai n g h ie n g a m e, tin h yeu h o n n h a n gia d inh, g ia o due

1 Stephen Palmer. A Rational Emotive Behavioral Approach to Face-to-face.

Telephone and Internet Therapy and Coaching: A Case Study. Journal of The
Assocation for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Volume 11 Number 1 2004. 12-
22 (dan theo LT trong bai "Phan loai tham van theo cac phutmg tien truyen thong
tin" tuvantamh-.com)
2 Bao cao cua To Tam li hoc Lrng dung. Truong Dai hoc Sir pham Ha Noi trong Hoi
thao “Mo hinh dao tao chuyen gia tham van - tri li£u tai Viet Nam thang 5/200".
CHUONG 2: Sa luge lich sif hinh thanh va phat trien 87

gidi tinh. T r u n g ta m tu" va n tam li giao due tinh yeu - h o n nhan

va g ia d inh tai T h a n h pho Ho Chi M in h th a n h lap n am 19 9 7 do
ba Le M in h N g a lam G iam doc. Dtfdng d ay tir va n n a y gan nhtf
dtfQc x e m la cO sd ttf van di£n thoai dau tien h o a t d o n g m a n g
tin h c h u y e n nghiep . V d i stf giu p dd cua Hoi d o n g Dan so V i?t
N a m , tr u n g ta m ttf va n nay da trien khai dtf an "D ao tao va xay
dtfng tai li£u ttf va n ve b ao hanh va sure k h o e sinh san sir d ung
tren di£n th oai". M u c dich cua dtf an la n h am d ao tao cho cac
can b o ttf v a n ciia tru n g tam cac ki nang ttf van v'e sire kh oe sinh
san va b ao h a n h , q u a do x a y dtfng tai li?u de can bo ttf van sir
d im g tr o n g co n g vi£c ciia minh.

Cd the noi, hinh thirc th am van qua di£n thoai dtfQc phat
trien k h a nhi'eu d Vi£t N am . Hinh thirc th a m va n nay rat thuan
ti£n cho k h a ch h a n g vi k h o n g phai di lai, ngoai ra vi£c kh ach h an g
va can bQ ttf va n k h o n g biet nhau cung lam cho kh ach han g cam
th a y thoai m ai h o n tro n g vi^c noi ra cac tam t t f don nen cua
m inh. T h a m chi ho th oa chi chiri trong m ay cho "bo gian". T u y
n h ien m ot tro n g nhtfng diem dd ciia th am van di?n thoai la kho
d an h gia dtfQc hieu q u a th am van. Do tinh chat ciia hinh thirc
th a m van q u a dien thoai la ngtfdi noi va ngtfdi nghe k h o n g biet
n h a u n en nhi'eu k h a ch h a n g sau khi th am va n da k h o n g lien h£ lai
vi v a y nh an vien th a m va n k h on g biet dtfQc ket qua th am va n cua
m in h nhtf the nao v a k h o dtfa ra ke hoach th a m van tiep theo.

Bao cao d a n h gia h oa t d ong ciia cac T ru n g tam ttf v a n 1 cho

th ay, tr o n g sd cac k h a ch h a n g ciia cac tru n g tam ttf van, phu ntf
cd nh u cau ch ia se n h ieu hQn nam gidi; da so co do tu oi k h o a n g
tir 35 - 45 tu oi - c h ie m k h o a n g 80 % d ca ntfdc. T h e o T r u n g ta m
Ttf v a n v a D ich vu T r u y e n th o n g (U y b an Dan so, G ia d in h va T re
em ), th a n g 7 / 2 0 0 6 , co hQn 4 .0 0 0 cuqc gQi ciia tre ve dtfdng d ay
no n g . C ac e m goi d ien den phan anh ket qua thi k h o n g tot; dtfQc
n g h i he n h im g v a n bi ch a m e ep Iiq c th em ... T h e o n h a n d in h ciia

1 Trich bao cao ket qua hoat dpng d ir an dao tao va xay dung tai tieu t i r van ve
bao hanh cho trung tam tir van o Thanh pho HCM, 1998 va phong van Chi Van
Anh, Giam doc Trung tam Tir van Tam li Tinh cam Linh Tam, 2004.
88 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

cac ch u y e n gia tu" van, su1 vi£c tren neu cu" k e o dai se d an den
tinh tr a n g cac em ca n g th ang, m et m oi, ch an nan , co d o n , giam
h u n g th u tr o n g h o c tap, n hieu khi d an d en tin h tr a n g roi loan
ta m th an. V i vay, cac ch u y en gia tu" va n da la n g n g h e , ch ia se,
dQng v ien de tre la y lai lo n g tin vao b an than.

V d i vi£c g ia m g ia cua tin nhan di?n th oai di dQng, k h ach

h a n g t h y d n g sir d y n g tin n h an de noi c h u y e n v d i n h a th a m van
cua m in h . N h in ch u n g , cac nha th a m v a n th a t s y m ien cUQng
tro n g vi$c d o n g y th a m va n h a y tri lieu q u a di£n th o a i ch o k h ach
h an g. T h y d n g thi h in h thirc th a m va n n a y k h o n g dirQc cac nha
th a m v a n d o n g tinh.

C im g v d i s y p h a t trien ciia d y d n g d ay t y v a n , d Vi£t N am ,

b y d c s a n g d au th e ki X X I, h in h thirc th a m v a n q u a m ang
in te rn e t d a p h a t trien rQng rai, th e hi£n q u a b a d a n g thirc tham
va n k h a c n h a u , dd la: th a m van q u a tr a n g w eb , th a m va n qua
e m a il v a th a m v a n q u a chat.

- T h a m va n q u a tra n g w eb

D oi v d i d a n g th a m v a n q u a tr a n g w e b , T h a c si T o T h i Hanh
cho ra n g , cQ s d di d au tr o n g th a m v a n q u a t h y di£n tir phai ke
d en tr a n g w e b ciia C o n g ty Linh T a m , ra d d i n a m 2001. Hien
n a y tr a n g w e b n a y k h o n g con c u n g cap d ich v u th a m v a n q u a th y
nura, n h u n g t r o n g th d i g ia n co n h o a t dQng, h a n g n g a y lu o n cd 20
- 30 t h y d yQ c giri td i m o n g m u o n dyQ c trQ g iu p ve ta m li. T h a n g
5 n a m 2 0 0 3 , tr a n g w e b th a m v a n v e sire k h o e g id i tinh va tinh
ca m w w w .t a m s u b a n t r e .o r g d au tien ra ddi d an h d au mQt b y d c
q u a n trQng ch o h o a t d o n g th a m v a n noi ch u n g va th a m van
m a n g noi rie n g d V ie t N a m . H oat dQng ch inh ciia w e b la th am
v a n t r y c tu y e n v a q u a t h y dien tir v'e cac chii d'e s y c k h o e sinh
san, sire k h o e tin h due, H I V / A ID S va tinh cam. T r a n g w e b th y c
h ien t h a m v a n t r y c tu y e n 7 b u o i/tu a n . V e t h y d ien tir, k h a ch
h a n g cd th e giri cau hoi, k h u c m ac tdi c h y o n g trin h bat cir luc
nao. T r a n g w e b la n o i thu hut rat nhieu th a n h th ie u nien V iet
N a m tren k h a p ca n y d c tim doc va chia se, tim k ie m s y h o trQ.
 CHUONG 2: Stf li/crc lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 89

C h o tdi nay hoat dQng cua trang web van rat tich c u t va ngay
cang phat trien.

Hi^n n a y d H a NQi co k h o a n g 4 trang web t y van, tham van

v e sire k h o e gid i tin h va tam li vd i
Qua nhitng buoi dwac
ca c h in h thirc t r u t tu y en va qua
hitting dan lam thu', tdi da
thir d ie n tir. N h u n g v d i thirc te
biet cach tien hanh trd l&i
n h u ca u sir d u n g in te rn e t d V iet
mot bite thit cho khach hang.
N a m h ie n nay, tren 14 trieu ngirdi
Tdi xac djnh van de va cam
t r o n g dd 7 2 % so ngirdi tr o n g dQ
xuc cua khach hang, xac dinh
tu o i 18 -3 0 th ird n g xuyen noi
van de nao can phai lam ro
chuyen (ch a t) v a 8 1% so ngirdi
bang viec dat cau hoi cho
tr o n g dQ tu o i 4 1 -5 0 th ird ng xu ye n
khach hang, xem xet cac
dQc tin tire v a v d i sir ra ddi nhi'eu
hw&ng gidi quyet cho khach
cQ s d th a m v a n thi s y p h a t trien
hang, vi vay viec trd l&i mot
rQng rai cu a th a m v a n m a n g se la
bite thit dd de dang han do'i
tiTQng lai k h o n g x a . H oat dQng
v&i tdi, cau va tit sang nghia
t h a m v a n cu a cac tr a n g w eb d
han va tdi cung tranh ditac
V ie t N a m h ien n a y chii yeu xu at
nhitng loi dd mac phai trong
p h a t tir cac dir an hd trQ v e sire
thit dau. Tuy nhien, v&i tdi
khoe s in h san, tin h due,
th&i gian hoan thanh mot la
H IV /A ID S nh im g nhim g khuc
thit con qua ddi.
m ac ve van d'e tam li chiem mQt ti
le k h o n g nho, k h o a n g 50 % cac (MKP, k47, 2007)
van d'e khiic m ac ciia khach hang
va cac tra n g w eb nay chii yeu la mien p h i.1

- T h a m v a n q u a e m a il

G i o n g nhir t h a m v a n q u a thir tay, k h a c h h a n g giri t h y tir

hQp th ir r ie n g ciia Iiq d e n h e th o n g n h a n - tra t h y ciia tr u n g
ta m t h a m v a n q u a m a n g (cd th e la d ia chi e m a il th a m v a n cu a
t r u n g t a m h o a c la h e t h o n g n h a n thir dyQ c th ie t k e r ie n g d
tr e n t r a n g w e b , t h a n chii chi ca n d a n g n h a p th a n h v ie n v a giri

1 Dan theo To Thi Hanh. Xay dirng nguyen tac dao dire cho hoat dong tham van
tren mang, luan van thac si Tam li hQ C, 2008.
90 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

nhan thu1 theo mau co san). Vdi cac mau giri thu" dirge thiet ke
san tren tran g web, thirdng than chii phai khai bao mQt so
th o n g tin de co the dang nhap vao hq th o n g da giup cho nha
tham van co diTQc mQt so thong tin cQ ban ve than chii. M^t
khac, viec than chii co the giri nhi'eu la thir va nhfrng la thir do
dirge liru lai thanh mQt h£ thong cung giiip than chii va nha
tham van theo doi tien trinh tham van. T u y nhien , hinh thirc
tham van nay con gap nhi'eu kho khan do h rgng th o n g tin
thirdng it va k h o n g the nhan dirge sir phan hoi n gay ciia than
chii va ciia nha tham van.

Q u y tr in h th a m va n qua em ail cd th e thirc hi£n th e o mQt so

birdc s a u 1

+ D qc th ong tin v'e than chii.

+ Dqc thir, xa c d inh va n d'e trQng tam , c a m x u c ch u d ao ciia

th a n chu, d in h hird n g giai quy et va n d'e ciia th a n chii.

+ V di nhung than chii da tham van nhi'eu lan, tham van vien
can dQc lai nhung thu1 da trao doi trirdc de tiep tuc mach thong
tin cua ca tham van de xac dinh hirdng hd trQ cho khach hang.

+ Viet thir tra ldi, cd the mQt tham van vien khac dQC lai
trirdc khi giri den than chii (theo kieu giam sat chuyen mon).

C a u tr u e cu a mQt la thu" q u a e m a il c u n g tiron g tu" nhir tham

v a n trirc tu y e n , no b a o g'om m o t sd th u tu c sau:

+ C h a o h o i, th ie t la p q u a n h£ (th ird n g v ie t th e o m a u nhat

d in h , nhir: C h a o ba n h a y B a n th a n m e n ...).

+ C h ia se c a m x u c chii d ao v a v a n d'e ciia th an ch u ( d im g ki

n a n g th a u c a m , p h a n hoi, to m tat va n d'e...). C an tra o doi lan
lirgt ca c v a n d'e th e o thir tu1 un tien m a nha th a m v a n sa p xep.
T im m o i lie n h£ giira cac v a n de. MQt th a m va n v ien " th a o vi£c"
se b ie t e ach tr a o ddi th e o lo g ic ciia va n de. D ieu n a y la m de

1 Theo kinh nghiem cua chuyen gia tham van ThS. Liru Thi Ljch, ThS. To Thi Hanh
lam viec tai du an Chat cua Cihp (2007).
 CHUONG 2: So luoc lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 91

d a n g ch o vi£c th a o g d nhtfng va n d'e sau do cua th a n chu. T ro n g

m o i v a n de dtfQc p h a n tich se g iu p cho th a n ch u sa n g to h o n
v a n d'e cu a m in h . C o th e d u n g cau hoi d o n g h o a c m d de xac
d in h ro th o n g tin h o a c gQi m d cho th a n chu.

+ C u n g ca p th o n g tin (neu can).

+ Giai quyet van d'e: GQi y cac giai phap, phan tich cac tinh
h u on g, gia thuyet v'e nhtfng kho khan, thuan lQi cua mdi giai
phap de than chu ttf ltfa chQn.

+ Cuoi thtf k h uyen khich, gQi md, mQt so ldi chuc. Khuyen
khich, gQi m d v'e vipc than chu tiep tuc cdi m d chia se thong
tin, tiep tuc qua trinh trao doi hay the hi£n stf nong nhi£t cua
nha tham van trong van d'e trQ giup khach h an g (Vi du nhtf:
C h u c ban th a n h co n g ; C h u c ban ha n h p h u c ; N e u can chia se,
c h u n g td i sa n sa n g la n g n g h e ba n...)

- T h a m van q u a C h a t

0 V i? t N a m , d ay la hinh thtic th a m va n dtfQc thtfc hi£n bdi

C o n g ty Ttf v a n D au ttf Y te (CIH P). T h e o b ao cao to n g ket 4 nam
h o a t dQng cu a tr a n g w e b T a m stf b an tre, dtf an “Ttf van trtfc
tu y e n v'e H IV / A I D S , tinh due va S K SS cho th a n h th ie u n ie n ” -
gQi t i t la C H A T , dtfQc C o n g ty thtfc hi£n vdi m u c dich n h a m tang
ctfd n g S K S S v a p h o n g ch o n g H IV / A ID S cho th a n h thieu. Ket
q u a 4 n a m h o a t dQng cu a ttf van C hat da giu p th a n h th ieu nien
cd dtfQc cac th o n g tin d u n g v'e H IV /A ID S , SK SS va tinh due; tao
mQt d ie n d an la n h m a n h tren m a n g de th a n h nien co the th a m
gia th a o lu a n v'e cac va n d'e lien q uan den H IV /A ID S , S K SS va
tin h d u e va ttf v a n ch o th a n h thieu nien v'e cac van d'e lien q uan
d en tin h due, H I V / A I D S v a SK SS. N g o a i ra, dtf an con ttf v a n v'e
k h ia ca n h ta m li - tin h ca m n h a m p h u c vu cho m u c tieu dtf an la
g iu p th a n h th ie u n ien co dtfQc mQt ddi song tam li can b an g,
la n h m a n h .
92 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

Theo so lieu tong ket ciia CIHP, solw ang thanh vien co nhu cau
tw van qua moi nam cho thay tir gan 13,000 thanh vien nam
2004 tang len 27,962 thanh vien vao nam 2005 (tang hern 2 Tan)
den 57,007 thanh vien vao nam 2006 (tang han 2 Fan) va hien
tai solw ang thanh vien dd dat mire 72,704 thanh vien (tinh den
cuoi thang 6/2007). Nhw vay sau 3 nam, so htang thanh vien
tang han 5 lan, v&i mire tang gan 60,000 thanh vien. Tinh tir
thang 6/2004 den 6/2007 co 12,180,734 Iwat trruy cap vao trang
web v&i mire trung binh khoang 20,000 Iwat truy cap moi ngay,
v&i mire tang trw&ng gap doi sau moi nam (vi du cuoi nam 2006
co 7,000,000 Iwat truy cap vao trang web thi den th&i diem hien
tai dd co 12,180,734 Iwat truy cap vao trang web). Trung binh
mdi nam, dw an thwc hien dwac tir 1,800 den 2,000 ca tw van
tryc tuyen va tir 7,000 - 9,000 ca tw van qua thw. Trong giai
doan 2004 - 2007, dw an dd thwc hien dwac khoang 7,500 ca tw
van trite tuyen va khoang 30,000 ca tw van qua thw, dap irng
dwac 30% nhu cau tw van trite tuyen va 100% nhu cau tw van
qua thw ciia khach hang.

3. Cac ca s& cung cap dich vu tham van

- T ru n g tam bao trgr x a hoi

T h e o T it d ien T ien g V iet (1992): Bao t r g la d o dau, b ao dam

sir an to a n v e che ch at lan tinh th an cho m g t ai do. V a y T ru n g
ta m B ao t r g X a h o i (T T B T X H ) la n o i giu p d o, ciru m a n g cham
soc n u oi diTOng nhirng ngirdi gap k h o k h a n hoan nan nhir: Tre
m o coi k h o n g n o i nirong tira, ngirdi tan tat, ngirdi gia... nham
g iu p h o cd dieu kien dirge sinh song nhu" b ao ngirdi b inh thirdng
kh ac, p h a t h u y dirge ti'em nang, nang lire von cd cua m in h de
viron len h o a n h a p dirge vd i xa hoi. Cac T T B T X H h ien n a y d Vi?t
N a m deu triTc th u o c Bo Lao d ong-X a hoi, hoat d o n g th eo bien
che n h a nirdc, m a n g u o n cu ng cap nhan lire cho cac tru n g tam
n a y th ird ng do T rirdng D H L D X H dam nhan. C ac sinh vien tot
n g h iep he tr u n g cap, cao dfing h a y dai hoc thirdng dirge ve d ay
la m v iec nhir mQt can sir xa hQi.
CHUONG 2: So li/oc lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 93

- N h a m d , nha tinh th itd n g

N hung dura tre chu yeu song trong CQng dong dtfQc don vao
nuoi d nha m d phan ldn deu mo coi cha me va cd hoan canh het
stic eo le, nhu" tre cd cha m? bi tu day, tre vo gia cir. Nha m d la noi
cham soc, giao due, hirdng nghiep, giup dd tre tranh nhting rui ro
tren dtfdng pho, ngan ngtia cac toi pham va te nan xa hQi den vdi
cac em: trQm cap, ma tuy va bi lam dung tinh due. Sau mQt thdi
gian nhat dinh tre cd the tai hoa nhap vdi gia dinh, CQng dong. Tai
day cac dich vu tham van mien phi dtfQc duy tri thtfdng xuyen.

- B en h vien, p h d n g kham

Xet tti goc do lich sti, stf md rQng pham vi anh htfdng cua nganh
tri lieu tam li cung vdi no ltfc dau tranh cho nhting hinh thtic chtia
tri nhan dao doi vdi benh nhan tam than khien cho nhu cau can
ngtfdi trQ giup tam li trong cac benh vien, phdng kham gia tang.
Tren the gidi, nhting nhan vien cong tac xa hQi, nhting nha tam li
dtfQc dao tao ve nhting Id nang tham van de cd the dap ting nhu cau
nay trong benh vien. Tuy nhien hien nay, hoat dQng trQ gitip tam li
tai benh vien (dac biet la benh vien tam than) hay cac phdng kham
chti yeu la cac nha tam li hoc lam sang va cac nha tham van.

H ien nay, n hieu b en h vien co dich vu trQ giup tam li nhtf

B en h vien T a m th an Ban n g a y M ai HtfOng, V ien Stic kh oe T a m
th a n - B enh vien B ach M ai, Vien Nhi T ru n g tfQng, V ien Stic khoe
T a m th an - B en h vien Q uan d<?i 103, Benh vien D on g Da, Khoa
T a m li b e n h v ien N h i d ong II, Phong k h a m Tuna... Tai cac benh
vien , p h d n g k h a m viec sti d un g nhting trac n ghiem tam li de chan
d o a n tr a m cam , lo au, danh gia hanh vi, nhan cach d ang n gay
ca n g dtfQc p h o bien. V i tri cua nha tam li cung dtfQc ghi nhan
tr o n g viec gitip d d cac b ac si tam than lam viec vdi b en h nhan cd
roi n h ieu ta m li. C ac nha tam li hoc hoat dQng trong b en h vien
nhtf mQt n h a th a m v a n tam li, hoac la mQt can bo sti d u n g trac
n g h ie m dtfdi sir chi d in h ciia cac bac si tam than.

- T ru n g tam tham van (trun g tam tit van, trung tam tit van
tam U. p h d n g tha m van )
94 | GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N TAM LI

Hinh th u c pho bien ciia dich vu cu ng cap th a m van. tri lieu

tam li la cac p h o n g k h a m rieng ciia cac nha ta m li lam sang, nha
th a m van tam li. T h e o th ong ke ciia Bo Lao d o n g H oa Ki, tam li la
mQt tro n g n h im g ngh'e m a ti le ngtfdi lam rien g k h a cao (4/10 nha
tam li lam rieng, trong khi ti 1? tru n g binh cho tat ca cac nganh
ngh'e la 1/10).

Cac trung tam nay co the do Do trung tam ttf van & ngay
mQt nha tam li dim g dau va lam trong trtfdng nen khi em co van
dQC lap hoac do nhi'eu nha tam li de can den cac co lam ttf van
lap nen va cimg lam viec trong giup dd em thay that kho vi
nhom, hoac do la mQt b<? phan chinh co giao chii nhiem noi v&i
ciia mQt cQ quan. 6 V iet Nam,
em rang, luc nao co cung thay
nhin chung cac phong tham van
em vao do, em khong thay ngai
thirdng nho, co mQt ban lam viec
va xau ho a, khong s<y ban be
vdi mQt ghe ngoi de tiep than
danh gia minh sao? Nen moi ran
chu. Dien tich mdi phdng toi
vao trung tam em phai len lut
thieu khoang 2,5 x 2,5 met, hoac
chit de moi ngtf&i thay cung
mQt phdng to cd vach ngan kin
ngai lam.
dao, yen tinh vdi cac trang tri tdi
(Y kien hoc sinh trirdng THPT
thieu nham tao thuan lQi cho
NTT, Ha Ngi)
than chii va tham van vien trao
doi, tam su1.

- T ha m van h o c d it& n g

N h a th a m v a n hQc dirdng ch u y en ng h iep la rnQt nha sir pham

dirge cap b a n g dao tao ve th a m vain hQc dirdng vdi n h im g ki nang
ch u yen b iet de ho trQ viec hoc, nhu cau p hat trien ca nh an , xa hQi
va ngh'e n g h iep ciia hQC sinh.

T h e o B q Lao dQng H oa Ki, nha th a m van h o c dirdng g iu p hQC

sinh d an h gia k h a n ang, h im g thu, tai n a n g va d ac d iem nhan
cach ciia m in h de p h a t trien kh a nang hoc tap t h y c sir v a m u c tieu
ngh'e n g h iep la ho trQ cho hoc sinh. Ben canh dd, nha th a m van
hQC dirdng con la m v iec vdi nh u n g ca nhan va to chirc k h a c de day
m a n h viec p h a t trien hQC tap, hirdng nghiep, van de ca n h an va xa
CHUONG 2: So lifac lich sti hinh thanh va phat trien 95

hQi cua tre em va thanh thieu nien. Nha tham van hQC dtfdng sir
dung cac buoi phong van, cac buoi tham van, cac trac nghiem
danh gia hirng thu va nang khieu, va nhimg cach thirc khac de
danh gia va tu" van cho hQc sinh. Ngoai ra cac nha tham van hoc
dirdng con to chirc cac buoi trao doi thong tin ngh'e nghiep va cac
chirong trinh giao due hirdng nghiep.

Tren the gidi, nha tham van hoc dirdng chuyen nghiep, von
trirdc day thirdng dirQc gQi la “Nha tham van hirdng dan”, la
nhting nha giao due chuyen nghiep co bang thac si hoac cao hon
ve tham van hoc dirdng (hoac linh vuc tirong dirong), dirQc chimg
nhan va cap bang bdi bang ma hQ lam viec. H q cd nhting pham
chat va ki nang can thiet de cd the lam viec vdi cac nhu cau hQC
tap, ca nhan, xa hoi va phat trien nghe nghiep ctia hQC sinh.

Tham van hoc dirdng thien ve tham van giao due, no bi chi
phoi nhieu bdi nhting quy dinh, chuan mtfc trong trirdng hQC, nha
tham van hoc dirdng doi khi con dirge xem la nha co van hQC
dirdng. Nhiem vu ctia nha tham van hQC dirdng la can thiep, tham
van ca nhan va nhom nho, hirdng dan nhom ldn, tir van phu
huynh, giao vien, nhting ngirdi khac va lam cong tac dieu phoi
:hirong trinh. Sau nay, mac du cong tac hirdng dan tham van
nghe trong trirdng hQC diTQc phat trien, song cac chuyen gia tham
ran ngh'e da tan thanh viec can cd mQt each tiep can rQng hon vdi
:ham van trong trirdng hQC. Dieu nav cd nghia la nhting chuyen
*ia tham van hirdng nghiep khong chi tap trung quan tam ve
igan h nghe, ma eon chu y den sir khac biet ldn trong nhting nhu
:'au tam li va giao due ciia hoe sinh. Noi cach khac, nhting chuyen
;ia tham van hirdng nghiep phai la nhting nha tham van hQc
lirdng. 6 Viet Nam. ddi khi ngirdi ta dong nhat linh y tT c tham van
iqc dirdng la tham van nghe, hay tham van hirdng nghiep.

6 Hoa Ky, mQt ngirdi muon trd thanh nha tham van hQe
hrdng phai trai qua cac chirong trinh hoe nhu*: lich sti, quy trinh
ham van hQe dirdng, lam viec nhom, nghien ctiu va danh gia
hirong trinh, mot so yeu cau cho nha tham van hQe dirdng... Cac
qc vien phai cd 6 o o gid thirc tap n<?i tru dirdi s y kiem soat cua
96 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

m ot nha th a m van h o c d u d n g u y tin va de d u g c t h y c ta p noi tru

ngirdi h g c phai co b a n g thac si. H o n nira, de dirge c h u n g nhan
nha th a m van ngoai viec phai co b an g th ac si, con phai co 3 nam
kinh nghi£m lam viec dirge giam sat tai cO sd.

O cac nirdc phat trien, tham van h oc dirdng, d ac biet la tham

van ngh'e la n h im g hoat dong k h o n g the thieu tro n g cac tn rd n g
hoc. 100% h o c sinh pho th on g diroc tiep can vdi nha th a m van
hoc dirdng cu n g nhir tat ca cac em tiep can bat b u o c vdi m on
T o a n h a y m o n Lich sir.

6 V iet N a m , hoat dong tham van hoc dirdng va n con dang

m di la va th'am lang d cac cap co sd. Hinh t h u t t r g giu p h o c sinh
dau tien xuat hien d Viet N a m phai ke den la tu* va n ngh'e. Nhimg
ch u yen gia tam li h o c dirge dao tao v'e tu1van d V iet N a m dau tien
la tu1van ngh'e vao n h u n g nam 1958-1965, h'au het la dirge d ao tao
d Lien X o va cac nirdc D o n g Au. N h u n g mai d en n a m 1975, tu" van
ngh'e m d i dirge V ie n K hoa hoc Giao d y e d'e cap den. K hd i dau
1975-1976, co n g viec chii yeu la tir van cho n h im g th u tm g binh
vira het chien tran h trd v'e. N a m 19 77-1980 , tir v a n ngh'e diroc tien
h a n h d T rirdng cap III T h a n h Oai, T rirdng cap II H o n g Dirong,
T h a n h Oai (deu cua H a Tay), Trirdng cap III Bac Li (N a m Ha),
Trirdng p h o th o n g tru n g h o c T ru n g Vucfng (H a N oi). N a m 1980-
1981, co n g tac hirdng nghiep da dirge dira va o trirdng p h o thong.
Tir 1981 d en 1986 tai lieu sinh hoat h u d n g n g h iep cho h o c sinh
cuoi cap p h o th o n g c o sd v a pho th o n g tru n g h o c d u g c b ien soan.

Tir 19 8 7 d en 1991, do n g u ye n n h an k h a ch q u a n nen cac

p h o n g trao h u d n g n gh iep d cac dia p h u o n g bi sa sut nghiem
trong, co n g ta c t u va n ta m th di bi d u n g lai. T h a n g 3 /19 9 1. dau
mdi to chirc chi d ao h o a t d ong lao d ong - h u d n g n g h ie p toan
n g a n h d u g c kh di p h u c lai va tru n g tam h u d n g n gh iep to a n nganh
true th u o c Bo G iao due D ao tao d u g c thanh lap. Sau dd la viec
bien soa n m ot tap tai lieu “T u v a n ngh'e cho h oc sinh p h o t h o n g ”.

Tir n a m 2000, V a n phdng T u v a n T a m li Tre em th u o c U y ban

Dan so - G ia d inh - T re em T P .H C M phoi h g p vdi cac U B D S G D T E
va p h o n g giao due - dao tao cac quan thanh lap cac p h d n g t u van
CH J O N G 2: So luoc lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 97

tam H hQe dirdng d mQt so trirdng trung hoc cO sd. H inh thirc tham
van h o c dirdng noi chung, va tir van nghe noi rieng hien nay chu
yeu xuat hien trong cac trirdng pho thong trung h o c ttf th yc, nhtf
Trtfdng p ho th on g trung hoc Dan l§p Dinh Tien Hoang, N guyen
Tat T hanh, T ra n Htfng D30.

Ket q u a th a m v a n t$i m ot so trtfdng p ho th o n g d H a N oi

(n h tf T rtfd n g p h o th o n g tru n g h o c N g u y e n T a t T h a n h , Trtfdng
p h o th o n g tr u n g h o c T ra n Htfng D90) cho th a y b e n cg n h nhting
ch u d'e v'e tin h b^n, tinh yeu thi va n de h oc t$p, htfdng n g h iep va
q u a n he tr o n g gia d in h gitia cha m e va con cai lien q u a n d en ap
ltfc h o c t§ p lu o n la nhting noi d u n g k h ien cac e m b an khoSn
n h ie u n h a t - ch ie m 5 7 ,5 % 1. Ttf va n n ghe d m ot so trtfdng hien
n a y la d u n g cac T e s t de k ie m tra cac p h a m ch at n h a n cach cua
h o c s in h n h a m tim ra k h a n a n g cua h o tr o n g ttfcfng q u a n vdi
n h tin g y e u cau ctia m ot trtfdng hoc, m ot n ghe n h a t dinh; chi dan
n h tin g th o n g tin to m tat ve tinh h in h thi tu y e n d^i h o c cu a cac
n a m trtfdc; dtfa ra nhting ldi k h u y e n ve h tfd n g nghiep... T u y
n h ie n c u n g cd trtfd n g ket h o p ca hinh thtic xem so tti vi de ttf
v a n h tfd n g n g h ie p ch o h o c sinh!

Tif van hirofng nghiep tai tr u in g TH PTD L Z.

"Day la mang do thay X phu trach. Toi thyc sy bat ng& khi
dwac tiep xuc v&i hinh thifc tw van hw&ng nghiep & day. Tai
trW&ng, tw van hy&ng nghiep bat dau v&i hoc sinh l&p 11, moi hQe
sinh se dw&c phat m Q t phieu “Tw van hw&ng nghiep” va dien day
du nhitng thong tin trong phieu do. Trong phieu co mot so thong
tin, bao gom: Phan dau la nhitng thong tin do hoc sinh cung cap:
Ho va ten; Ngay, thang, nam sinh; phut, gi& sinh (rat quan trong);
nang khieu, s& thich, tinh cach... Phan sau la m Q t so thong tin do
nha tw van dien vao sau khi da lam cong tac gQi la Hw&ng nghiep.

Sau khi nhan dwac phieu ‘Tw van hw&ng nghiep”, tw van vien se
\ Iq p mot la so tit vi tren ca s& ho ten, ngay, thang, nam sinh, gi& sinh

1 Nguyen Thi Nhan Ai, Tham van nhin tit goc <Jq giao d\ic gia dinh, T/c Tam li hoc so
12/2007.
98 G I A O T RI NH T H A M V A N T A M U

ciia hoc sinh. N gtfdi co kha nang “gidi ma" nhtfng thong tin trong la
so' nay chi cd thay X. Dtfa vao nhtfng thong tin hoc sinh cung cap,
“nha ttf van” biet dtf(Jc hoc sinh nay phit hap v&i nghdnh nghe nao,
nen thi vao trtfdng nao va tren ccf sd ddi chieu v&i hoc sinh (goi tifng
hoc sinh len va trao doi vdi thay xem nang life, tinh cach ciia em cd
dimg nhtf nhtfng gi thay giao noi khong), nhtfng thong tin phii hap
se dtfac ghi vao phieu. Theo nhtf danh gia ciia nhan vien phdng ttf
van thi mifc do chinh xac khoang 70 - 80%".

(Trich bao cao thifc tap tham van ciia MTP, K49, 2007)

Khi ca nhan co va n d'e va co nhu cau dirge g iu p d o h o se tim

den cac tru n g tir van giup de dirge tr g giup. T u y nh ien th a m van
h o c d u d n g doi khi lai k h o n g n h u vay. N h in c h u n g h oc sinh t u den
p h o n g th a m va n hQC d u d n g la rat it. Phan nhi'eu h g c sinh tdi
p h o n g th a m va n tr u d n g h g c la do giao vien giri den. D ieu nav tao
ra m g t ta m li g u g n g ep, thieu s i n san g h g p ta c cu a h o c sinh doi
vd i th a m v a n vien. M a t khac, vi?c giao vien b o m o n tr o n g trudng
cd cai nhin ve th a m va n h o c d u d n g k h a c vd i n h a th a m va n trong
cach giu p h g c sinh giai q uyet va n de cu n g g a y can trd cho hoc
sinh tiep can vd i th a m va n h oc d u d n g. V i du nhu, k h o n g it giao
vien tr o n g tr u d n g cd quan ni£m Phdng T h a m va n ta m li la noi chi
n h u n g n g u d i cd v a n d'e m d i phai den, dieu n a y la m cho h o c sinh
rat s g kh i p hai d en day. N g o a i ra, do cd k h o k h a n v'e dia diem
th a m van , nen cd n h u n g tr u d n g phai dat p h d n g th a m va n tam li d
tro n g p h d n g hoi d o n g n h a tr u d n g nen da rat anh h u d n g den qua
trin h th a m van. C h in h dieu n a y cu n g la m cho h o c sinh s g khi den
p h o n g th a m van!

- T ham van tai ca c tru n g tam

N h a th a m v a n doi m at vdi th an chu, tro n g cu o c t u va n (thuoc

loai) nay, n h a th a m v a n k h o n g chi hieu than chu th o n g q u a hanh
vi n g o n ngir, m a ca h a n h vi phi ngon ngir (cir chi, di<ju bo net
mat...).
 C H liO N G 2: Sa li/gc lich sir hinh th a n h va p h a t trien 99

D a y la lo$i h in h th a m va n ta m li dtfQc coi la h ieu q u a nhat,

d o n g thofi cu n g la loai h in h th a m va n k h o nhat. C o nhting va n de
cu a th a n chu chi th a m va n th a n h cong th o n g q u a h in h thtic
th a m v a n nay. V i loai hinh th a m van n a y cho p h e p k h a m p ha
chi'eu sau vo thtic cu a th an chu va xu c cam , tinh ca m cu a ho.

Da co nhi'eu b ai b ao p h an anh ve k h o n g gian la m vi<?c cua

p h o n g th a m v a n trtfc tiep, nhtf con qua ch at hep, k h o n g d am bao
v e tin h rien g ttf v a bi m at tro n g th a m van, trj lieu. V i d y nhtf y
k ie n cu a TS. T ra n T h i Gi'ong: “M o t so tru n g tam co n h ieu p h d n g
th a m van tam U c h i co vach ngan tam nen tu" van vien nghe
tien g n o i ch u y en cu a n hau ro m on m ot. R a t n h ieu ccf s& th ie t ke
p h d n g n g o i v& i n hieu ban k h a c nhau tron g m o t can p h d n g
k h o n g co v a ch n g a n , nen m oi n g ird i co the n hin n hau , va vo
tin h h a y td m d n g h e ch u y en cua nhau. T ham c h i m o t so ccf s&
co n d u n g p h d n g lam v iec d e t ie p than c h u ”1.

O Viet Nam, tham van chtfa dtfQc to chtic thanh mot dich vy xa
hoi hoan chinh; quy trinh
So v&i lan thwc tap tham van qua mang
hoat dong chtfa trien khai
trW&c, trong tan thwc tap tham van
thong nhat ve to chtic, chinh
trite tiep nay toi dwac luyen lai cac Id
sach, co che, lye ltftfng, dao
nang nhw lang nghe, thau cam, phan
tao, phap ly. Mat khac, tham
hoi va dat cau hoi. Dieu nay giup tdi
van la mQt khoa hoc mang
nhan ra la viec dwa ra mot cau hoi trite
tinh chuyen nganh, viec ton
tiep doi hoi ngw&i lam tham van phai
tai nhieu nguon li luan khac
nhanh han va can trong hon so v&i khi
nhau, nhieu cach tiep can
lam tham van qua mang. Trong tham
khac nhau - nhieu khi trai
van qua mang, neu danh sai tit nao,
ngUQc nhau, da lam cho "stf
cau nao ta cd thexoa di viet lai, nhitng
khcri dau nan" ctia chting ta
trong tham van trite tiep thi khong the
cang kho khan trong viec xac
lam lai dwac.
dinh phtfOng phap tiep can
thtfc hanh. (HTH, K49, 2007)

1 Bao cao cua TS. Tran Thi Giong, H q i thao- khoa Hqc ve tw van tam li tai thanh
pho Ho Chi Minh, 2006.
 - Tham van tai gia

Nhieu nha tam li h g c va ngay ca sinh vien tam li hoc chon cach
cung cap dich v y trO giup tai chinh gia dinh than chu, ho^c de nghj
than chu den nha m inh de tham van, tri lieu tam li. T ren the gidi, de
diroc hanh ngh'e doc lap ma khong can giam sat ch uyen m on, cac
chuyen gia phai dat dirge trinh do dao tao va co kinh ng h iem thirc
hanh trung binh 8, 9 nam va phai virgt qua cac ki thi de dat dirge
chim g nhan du tieu chuan lam doc lap. Con d V iet N am . cac nha
tham van tai gia doi khi chi can bang cir nhan tam li h oc cu ng "du t y
tin" de hanh ngh'e. T h o n g thirdng cong viec ciia ho la giu p d o tre em
co van d'e khuyet t§t, van d'e hoc dudng. C on g viec cua h o ddi kjii
thuan tu y n h u m ot "bao mau", ho§c kha vat v a khi phai "cham soc"
nhim g tre t y ki, h a y ch£m phat trien tam than. N g u g c lai, nhimg
nha tam li h g c cd b an g cap hoac trinh do kh a h o n th u d n g tham
kh am tam li m ot cach kh ong chuyen tai nha. C o n g viec ciia ho
th u dng n h a m m y c dich d u y tri th y c hanh ngh'e nghiep (vi d y nhu
cac giao vien d$y th a m van tai cac tru d n g dai h o c cd nhan than chii
tai gia) h o n la n h a m m y c dich sinh ton. V i v£y cac kh ach han g ciia
ho th u d n g chu yeu la "ngudi quen cua nhim g ngirdi quen".

4. Danh gia chung ve thitc trang tham van & Vi$t Nam

6 V ie t Nam , hoat dong

Tham van vien vita an hoac vira
th am van ch u yeu m di chi
can hat dira vita noi chuyen v&i
d im g la i d h in h thirc t y p h a t
than chu; cau gi& (co ca tu: van
cu a v ie c ra d d i ca c d ic h v u t u
qua dien thoai keo ddi deh sau
v a n v e tin h y e u , h o n n h a n , g ia
gi&/i.500 dong/phut)... Nguy
d in h , sire k h o e s in h sa n , p h a n
hiem hern, mot so tham van vien
ld n q u a d ie n th o a i. C a c h o a t
dem suy nghi chu quan va kinh
d o n g n a y x u a t p h a t tir n h u cau
nghiem song ciia minh ap dat len
t r g g iu p n h tfn g ca n h a n , gia
than chii hoac cho nhitng l&i
d in h khong cd kha nang
khuyen vo bo*.

1 Y kien cua cac chuyen gia tham van trong Hoi thao khoa hQe Quoc gia: Tir
van tam li - giao due, li luan, thirc tien va dinh hw&ng phat trxen, Thanh pho
Ho Chi Minh, 18/2/2006.
C HUONG 2: So luac lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 101

d tfo n g d a u v d i nhtfng k h o k h a n cua m in h . T r o n g v o n g 10 n a m

tr d lai d ay, ca c d ich v y th a m va n t r y c tiep x u a t h ie n v a d ap ufng
d irge n h u cau t r g g iu p tin h th a n cho ngirdi d an. T h a m va n , ttf
v a n d a n g tr e n da “tr a m h o a d u a n d ”. D a y la nhtfng tin h ieu
d a n g m irng ch o su1 p h a t trien cu a n gh e th a m va n , tri h e u trirdc
n h tin g ddi h o i cu a nh u cau ch a m chtfa ta m li cu a xa hoi. MQt
d ie u n g a c n h ie n m a it ai n g d d en la tim den cac d ich v y th a m
v a n / tri lieu ta m li q u a m a n g cu n g p hai d g i c h d b d i cd qua
n h ie u ngtfdi d a tim den. T h S . T o T h i H anh, ngtfdi da trtfc tiep
la m v ie c dirge 4 n a m tai co n g ty ttf v a n dau ttf y te, c o q u a n chu
q u a n cu a w e b s ite : w w w .t a m s u b a n t r e .o r g , ch o b iet: “N h u cau
th a m v a n trj lie u la r a t ld n , r a t n hieu d itd n g d a y tit v a n d ien
th o a i m o c len , n g o a i ra cdn co n hieu tru n g ta m la m tr ite tiep.
R ie n g tren m a n g in te r n e t thi co n g a y ch u n g toi tiep n h a n tit
10 , 2 0 th a m c h i la 3 0 k h a ch h a n g c h d tit v a n . P h a n ld n la
k h a c h h a n g m u o n ch ia se ve van d e tam li” .

D o i v d i lin h vtfc th a m van v a tri lieu ta m li ch o nhtfng

n gtfdi cd to n thtfOng ta m li, ch u n g ta lu o n n h d d en va i trd tien
p h o n g cu a cac b a c si ta m th a n tr o n g v ie c d ieu tri nhtfng ngtfdi
cd roi lo a n ta m li. D a c b ie t te n tu oi cua co b a c si N g u y e n K h a c
V ie n c u n g v d i ca c co n g stf cua on g d tr u n g ta m n g h ie n cutf ta m
li tre e m (N -T ) - n h tfn g ngtfdi da dtfa v ie c chtfa tri ca c roi n h ieu
ta m li tre e m s a n g h tfd n g k h o n g d u n g th u o c. D ieu n a y da la m
rd dtfdc v a i trd cu a cac n h a ta m li hoc, d ac b ie t la ca c n h a ta m li
h o c t h u o c Bo m o n T a m li h o c L a m s a n g v a Bo m o n T a m li h o c
T h a m v a n . H ie n n a y, du N h a ntfdc chtfa cap m a n g h e trQ giu p
Lam li ch o n g a n h T a m li h o c nhtfng ch6 d im g cu a cac n h a th a m
v a n / t r i lieu d a to n tai tr o n g xa hoi. Va vi the n a y n g a y can g
dtfdc k h a n g d in h .

T a i h o i th a o d au tien tai Ha Npi (2 0 0 2 ) b a n v e Thtfc tr a n g

c o n g ta c t h a m v a n tre em . nhtfng ngtfdi th a m g ia h o i th a o da
ta p t r u n g th a o lu a n v'e cach h ieu , cach sir d u n g th u a t ngtf T h a m
v a n v a ch i ra n h tfn g h a n che, ye u kern ve thtfc tr a n g co n g tac
t h a m v a n , n h tf ch o rang: Nhi'eu can bo th a m v a n chtfa thtfc stf
102 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M U

p h a n bi£t ro s y k h a c n h a u giifa T h a m va n , Tu" v a n va T rj li?u;

B an th a n n h ie u ca n bp d a n g la m co n g ta c th a m va n , n h u n g chu
y e u ch o ld i k h u y e n , g ia n g giai v a n d'e d y a v a o k in h n g h ie m ca
n h a n va d^o du'c xa h(ji; H i?u q u a th a m v a n kern ch u y e u la do
ngirdi th a m v a n k h o n g n a m ro h<? th o n g ca c tri thirc v e n g h e trgr
giup; ca c p h iro n g p h a p tiep c£n co n yeu kern; da sd chira dirge
d ao tao d a y du v e cac ki n a n g th a m va n , k h o n g cd ca c n g u y e n
ta c d$o du'c n g h e n g h ie p ch u a n de d jn h ltfQng h a n h vi ciia nha
th a m va n ; h o a t dQng th a m v a n k h o n g ch ju s y g ia m sat ciia bat
cir mQt to chirc p h a p li nao; cac tr u n g ta m t h a m v a n k h o n g cd
m di q u a n h e v d i n h a u v e to chirc, c h u y e n m o n , n g h ie p v y va
q u y ch e q u a n li v a co n k h a n h ieu n h a th a m v a n k h o n g dirQc dao
tgo tu" c h u y e n m o n T a m li hQe1.

Tu* n a m 2 0 0 3 d en n a y d H a NQi v a T h a n h p h o H o C hi M in h
da to chirc k h a n h ie u c u q c hQi th a o lien q u a n d e n t h a m v a n va
trj H q u 2. T u y n h ien , n h u n g d ieu diTQc de c£p t r o n g hQi th a o dau
tie n v e t h y c tr a n g th a m v a n d V i? t N a m d e n n a y v a n co n g ia trj.
T r o n g dd, s y th ie u d ao ta o c h u y e n n g h ie p la mQt t r o n g n h u n g
n g u y e n n h a n cQ b a n dira d en tin h tr a n g y e u kern tr o n g hoat
dQng t h a m v a n hi$n nay!

Cd n h ie u li do de giai th ic h cho n h a n d in h n ay, tr o n g dd co

s y th ie u c h u y e n n g h ie p tr o n g h a n h n g h e cu a ca c ca n bq> d ang
la m c o n g ta c t h a m v a n . T h y c te la da so ca n bQ th a m v a n k h o n g

1 Bao cao cua lanh dao UBDS & GDVN ve "Thyc trang cong tac tham van hien
nay" tai hQi thao ban ve cong tac tham van tre em, to chtfc thang 4/2002 tai
Ha NQi.

2 Co the ke ra vai h$i thao ma chung toi dtfdc biet, nhu-: H<?i thao Quoc te ve:
kinh nghiem trQ giup tam li do trtfdng Dai hQ C Khoa hQ C Xa hQ i va Nhan van
to ch ut 2 lan (2003, 2008), ve tham van va tri heu tam li do Khoa Tam li h.QC

(DHSPHN) to churc 2006, ve linh vtfc cham chtfa sut khoe tam than do Khoa
Stfph^m (DHQGHN) to chut 2 lan (2007, 2008) va H<?i thao khoa hoc Quoc
gia: Ttf van tam li - giao due, li lu|n, thtfc tien va djnh htfdng phat trien.
Thanh pho Ho Chi Minh, 2006.
CHlfONG 2: Sa luac lich sti hinh thanh va phat trien 103

dirge d a o ta o b ai b a n n en chira d^t yeu cau, h o a t dQng chu yeu

b a n g sy” n h iet tinh, b a n g kin h n g h ie m dan d en ap d at ch u q uan
q u a n d ie m cu a b an th an cho th a n chu. C o rat nhi'eu can bo
th a m va n , m a c du da dirge h o c va h ieu ro b a n ch a t cu a th a m
v a n n h im g h a n h d g n g cu a ho va n g io n g nhu" m ot co va n , m ot
n h a g ia o , m o t lu a t sir h o a c d o n g vai tro la m ch a m e, b e tren cua
th a n c h u 1.

2. V a n d e d a o ta o c a n b o th a m v a n th e o h u d n g c h u y e n
n g h ie p & V ie t N a m

- D a o tao sin h v ien tam li h o c lam tham v a n / tr i lieu

N e u k r u g ( 19 9 9 ) ch o ra n g co n g tac d ao ta o cac n h a th a m
v a n th ird n g m a n g tin h ro n g rai, m a c du k h o n g th ird n g x u y e n ki
lirdng nhu" d a o ta o n h u n g n h a ta m li h o e la m san g. Ho lam
t h a m v a n ca n h a n h o a c n h o m , cu n g cap v a giai th ic h n h u n g
d a n h g ia g ia o diic v a ta m li, cu n g cap ngh'e th a m v a n ch u y en
n g h ie p , tu" v a n tr e n d ien ro n g cac v a n d'e th u o c v'e g ia o d ue va
ta m li, dira ra n h im g hirdng dan h oa t d o n g th ic h h g p cd tinh
p h a t tr ie n ch o ta t ca cac lira tuoi. M a c du ca c n h a th a m van
n h in c h u n g k h o n g c h u y e n v e ta m b e n h h o c n h u n g h o lu o n cd
m o t so k ie n thirc v e sir d ieu ch in h n h im g sai b ie t v a b ie t ch u y en
cac ca n h a n d en d au kh i ho can cac phtfOng p h a p dieu tri sau
h o n . C a c n h a t h a m v a n tren th e gidi cd m ot so chtfc d a n h nhtf
sau: N h a th a m v a n h o c dtfdng; N h a th a m v a n stic k h o e ta m
t h a n / n h a t h a m v a n c o n g d ong; N h a th a m v a n tr o n g thtfc h a n h
h tfd n g n g h ie p ch o s in h v ien ; N h a th a m v a n p h u c hoi; N h a th a m
v a n tu o i gia; N h a th a m v a n h o n n h a n v a gia d inh. C a c chtic
d a n h n a y d e u di k e m v d i ca c dieu k h o a n q u y d in h ngh'e n g h iep
n h a t d jn h v a d tfg c p h a p lu a t b ao v e v a k ie m soat.

1 Tran Thi Minh Du’c (2003). Thtfc trang tham van & Viet Nam: Ttf li thuyet den
thtfc te. Tap chi Tam li hgc thang 2.
104 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M Li

N ganh T a m li hoc d Viet N am bat dau dao t$o cir nhan tir 1965.
H on bon mtfOi nam qua cac cir
Thtfc chat mon hQC Tham van v&i
nhan tam li hoc nhieu the he da 2 dcfn vi hQC trinh chi nham gi&i
dap img tot cong viec nghien thieu so" qua nhtfng kien thtfc can
ciru va giang d^y tam li, bdi ma
ban cho sinh vien chu: khong the di
ngh'e tam li hoc cho den nay
chuyen sau, vi chung ta khong the
van la nghien ciru va giang d$y
quen day la Khoa Tam li - giao due
tam li hoc.
chu: khong phai khoa Tham van,
M on T h a m van thdi gian khi ra trtf&ng sinh vien lam viec ve
qua t$i cac cO sd dao tao d^i linh vtfc tam li giao due & cac
hoc chi dirge d ay vdi tir cach la trtf&ng pho thong, cao dang va dai
m ot m on hoc trong mot hoc... Tuy nhien, neu sinh vien ra
chuyen n ganh ldn, vdi thdi trtf&ng lam tham van thi ho van co
lirgng con m ong, trung binh 2, the lam dwac vi ho dwac trang bj
3 tin chi cho m g t mon. Cac cO kien thtic chuyen nganh tam li co
sd dao t$o m on T h a m van lien quan. Nhtfng chat Itf&ng va
chira cd tai lieu thong nhat v'e hieu qua & day se khong dwac tot
noi d ung m on hoc. M at khac la dieu khong tranh khdi. (Phong
ldp hoc th u d n g qua dong, van TS Nguyen Thi Mui, 2006)
trung binh 70 sinh vien, tham
chi cd noi len tdi 100 - 1 5 0 sinh vien trong m ot ldp. V i v a y kha nang
sinh vien dtfQc luyen tap cac ki nang th am van la chtfa dtfQc dap
irng, trong khi dd hoc tham van sinh vien can phai dtfQc thtfc hanh
nhieu h o n ve m at ki nang.

Thtfc te cho th a y h au het cac cQ sd dao ta o ta m li h o c d Viet

N a m deu chtfa thtfc stf xu at p hat tir q uan d ie m dao tao cho ngtfdi
h o c cd mQt nghe, cd k h a n a n g h a n h nghe. Do dd h au h et sinh vien
ta m li h o c ra trtfdng cd b a n g cir n h a n T a m li hoc, T a m li giao due
"vdi mQt m d li th u y e t v a k h o n g biet d im g vao viec gi khi di l a m " 1.

6 V ie t N a m , m d i cd ba K hoa T a m li h o c tro n g ca ntfdc cd dao

tao c h u y e n n g a n h T h a m van th eo htfdng tam li h o c th a m van

1 Tien si Quan Tru’dTig Scfn. Bfjnh \ien tam than Trung utfng 103. Trich bao cao hQ\
than 1o ncim ki niem Khoa Tam li hoc, Dh KHXH&NV, thang 12/ 2007.
CHUONG 2: So lirac lich sif hinh thanh va phat trien 105

(th a m van nam tro n g Khoa T a m li h Q e ) . Do la K hoa T a m li h(?c tai

Dai h oc K hoa hoc X a hoi va N han van va Dai hoc Su" pham , thuoc
Ha N oi va k h o a T a m li hoc Trtfcmg Dai hoc V an Hien, T h a n h pho
H o C hi M inh.

K hoa T a m li hoc, Trtfcmg D H K H X H & N V da va dang co nhtfng

th a y doi trong dao tao theo htfdng thtfc hanh cham chtfa "benh
tam li". T ro n g chtfOng trinh ctf nhan tam li hoc da xuat hien cac
m o n h o c htfdng den d ay ki nang tam li, du btfdc dau m di d dang
"thtfc h a n h h oa li thuyet". Cac m on hoc nhtf: T h a m van tam li hoc
th a m van, ki nang th am van, Phan tich ca, Tri lieu tam li, T a m li
h o c la m sang, Chan doan tam li, T am benh hoc va hai ki thtfc tap
thtfc te ch uyen nganh va toan khoa t<ii cO sd da giup sinh vien tam
li h oc tan g ctfdng “cam giac nghe nghiep ” va htfdng sinh vien den
stf ttf giac "hoc ngh'e" tai cac cO sd trQ giup tam li.

Vi£c K hoa T a m li hoc thanh lap chuyen nganh T a m li h oc Lam

san g n a m 2001 va tdi nam 2008 thanh lap th em chuyen nganh
T a m li h o c T h a m van (mdi chuyen nganh cd 360 gid h oc rieng) cho
th a y nhtfng b ut p ha trong dao tao cua Khoa. T u y nhien, tu* goc do
dao tao ngh'e tam li theo htfdng chuyen nghiep chung tdi th ay van
con nhi'eu dieu can ban.
N htf giao stf J effrey Fagen, Dai hoc St. John (2006) trong m ot
hoi thao q u o c gia ve th a m van tai Ha Noi da canh b ao rang: "Dao
tao tro n g trtfdng dai hoc ve tam li hoc chi cung cap k h u n g chtfOng
trinh n h a m dat m u’c c0 ban de lam nghe va viec hoan thanh
chtfOng trinh hoc li thuyet tam li kh ong bao hanh cho stf hanh
nghe th a n h cong". V i v a y chung tdi cho rang viec thtfc tap cd giam
sat cua cac ch u y en gia c0 sd va giang vien dai hoc la rat can thiet
cho viec n a n g cao ta y n ghe cua sinh vien nganh T a m li hoc.

X et v'e noi d u n g dao tao, cac m on hoc thuoc linh vtfc tam li hoc
cd ltfQng kien thirc, ki nang co the im g dung vao cong viec tham
van va tri lieu la k h o n g nhi'eu (vi hai nam dai hoc dfau tien, sinh
vien chu y£u h oc cac m o n kh on g th uoc v'e nganh T a m li hoc), ngoai
ra va n con nhi'eu m on hoc nho le, m ang tinh dai ctfOng. Q uan
tro n g h on , th di gian dao tao cho ngtfdi lam tam li thtfc hanh la qua
106 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

ngan. Hien nay chi vd i tam b an g dai h(?c 4 nam , cac cir nhan tam li
hQC da co the dtfQc nhan vao lam viec tai cac trun g tam tir van,
b?nh vien, tn rdn g hoc, hoac hanh ngh'e tam li d<?c lap tai nha.
T ron g khi 0 cac nirdc co ngh'e trQ giup phat trien, de hanh ngh'e
th am van h a y tri lieu tam li, mot ngudi it nhat phai cd b an g thac si
vdi vai n am thirc h a n h noi tru co giam sat. C ach dao tao ngudi lam
nghe tam li hien nay d Viet N a m khien cho nhi'eu sinh vien ra
tru d n g lu ng tu n g khi phai dtfOng dau vdi than chu va nan de ciia
ho. Ket qua la cac cir nhan tam li hoc da k h o n g dap im g dtfQc yeu
cau cua cac cQ sd thtfc hanh.

- T h u c tap tham van cua sinh vien tam li hoc

T ron g boi canh phat trien nghe tam li hien nay d V iet Nam,
mQt so sinh vien k h o a T am li hoc da th am gia vao cac hoat dong
nghe nghiep n g a y tir khi con hoc nam 2, 3. C o n g viec m a sinh vien
thtfdng lam la trQ giup tre em cd kh o kh an ve tam li, ve hoc dtfdng.
Va, vd i b an g cir nhan tam li hoc, sinh vien cd the dtfQc nhan lam
viec d cac trun g tam ttf van, tn rdng hoc, p h d n g k h a m tam li - y te,
m ac dii cac ki nang ta m li chuyen nganh ciia sinh vien dtfQc trang
bi d dai h oc con rat m o n g va s o sai so vdi yeu cau ciia nghe nghiep.
Stf gop m at ciia sinh vien trong thtfc h a n h nghe trQ giup tam li
d ang dat lai va n de thtfc tap thtfc te ciia sinh vien doi vdi Khoa Tam
li hoc, Dai h o c K hoa h o c X a hgti v a N h a n van.

Vdi quan niem Tam li hoc la mQt ngh'e thi thtfc tap thtfc te cua
sinh vien can dtfQc nhin nhan nhtf mQt phtfOng phap dao tao
chuyen nghiep va lien tuc, mang tinh tich luy va nang dan stf phirc
tap cua viec thtfc hanh ki nang, phtfOng phap tiep can, cung nhtf stf
y thirc hoa v'e khia canh chuyen mon, dao du’c va phap li ciia nghe...
Dieu nay b at buoc cac chtfOng trinh thtfc tap phai gan vdi cac co sd
thtfc hanh va phai co
quy trinh giam sat tir giao vien va chuyen vien c0 sd.
T ro n g m ot so n am trd lai day, nhtfng cQ sd tham k h a m tam li
va ttf van tam li (nhtf da noi d tren) dang la nhtfng dia chi thu hut
stf thtfc h a n h ngh'e ciia sinh vien tam li hoc. T rong dieu kien k h on g
phai m oi cQ sd thtfc tap ve tam li hoc d \ iet N a m deu cd cac nha
CHUONG 2: So lifoc lich sif hinh thanh va phat trien 107

tam li hoc dirge dao tao 0 cap thac si h a y tien si chuyen nganh, thi
viec dira sinh vien den nhim g co sd th u t hanh nham cung cap cho
ho m ot s y dao tao m d rong theo loi kinh nghiem th y c te vdi s y
giam sat ket h o p cua giao vien dai hoc la rat kha quan. T u y nhien,
th y c te viec xay d im g q uy trinh th yc tap cho sinh vien d cac tnrdng
Dai h o c cd dao tao tam ly hoc, cung nhu" quan niem v'e giam sat
sinh vien th y c tap da chira dirge nhin nhan m ot cach nghiem tuc tir
phia giao vien va c o sd th y c tap.

H ien n a y nhieu chuyen gia tam li va cac giao vien day dai hoc
van con coi nhe viec d ay sinh vien th yc hanh va th y c tap th y c te d
c o sd. Vi v a y cong tac giam sat sinh vien th yc tap kh ong gay dirge
s y q uan ta m tir phia cac giao vien co chuyen m on sau. Dieu nay cd
nghia la ch u n g ta hieu kh on g dung ve vai trd ngirdi giam sat, ngirdi
hirdng dan sinh vien th y c tap. Vi du nhir d Khoa T a m li hoc,
D H K H X H & N V , tat ca cac giao vien tre nhat, giao vien m di ra
trirdng d cac b o m on, nhir Bo m on T am li hoc xa hoi, T a m li hoc
lam sang v a T a m li hoc quan li - kinh doanh deu chiu trach nhiem
x a y d im g chirong trinh va dam nhan viec giam sat th yc tap cua
sinh vien. Cd ve nhir cac giao vien tre dang cam th ay bi trut ganh
nang ch u yen m on len dau vi ho th y c s y chira cam th ay vting vang
ve kien thtic va ki n a n g chuyen nganh, trong khi cong tac giam sat
th y c tap doi hoi nhi'eu kinh nghiem chuyen m on va quan trong
hon, ngirdi g ia m sat phai cd
Thtfc tap & benh vien, giao vien
nang ly c hirdng d an sinh vien
khong biet ro sinh vien thtfc tap
th y c tap - cd ki n a n g g ia m sat!
the nao; ca sd thifc tap thi chdng
H ien n a y nhi'eu trirdng dai ai quan tam den sinh vien co den
hoc cd dao tao ta m li/th a m van hay khong va muon lam gi. Trong
n him g cd m di q uan he long leo khi sinh vien thay cd nhieu viec co
vdi cac cO sd thitc h a n h tham the giup dtfefe ho. Vi du nhu" hdi
van. V a ngirgc lai, cac cO sd chuyen de lam giam cang thdng
tham van cu ng chita th a y het ngtfefi nha cua benh nhan.
, a i trd. trach n h iem cua minh (gmh ^ m6n U m
trong viec nang cao tay nghe va 2Qo6)
khai thac kh a n a n g ctia sinh
n e n cho cong viec ctia m inh - nhting ngirdi ma ho se tiep nhan lam
108 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

viec. Vi v a y khi sinh vien xu on g ccf sd thtfc tgp hQ thtfdng k h o n g

dtfQc htfdng dan, h a y giam sat. T h a m chi cd nhi'eu n o i du da cd ki
ket nhtfng khi sinh vien xu ong thtfc tap, cu n g k h o n g cd ai htfdng
dan. Y kien cua PGS.TS. T ran Tuan L q , Trtfdng k h o a T a m li hQe,
Trtfdng Dai hpc Dan lap V an Hien, cho th ay viec dtfa sinh vien di
thtfc tap va kien tap d ang gap rat nhi'eu kh o khan. Sinh vien khong
cd ngtfdi htfdng dan vi nhi'eu ttf van vien k h o n g cd kien thtfc nen
tang v'e T a m li hoc. Nhi'eu co sd tu" choi k h o n g nhan sinh vien thtfc
tap vi k h o n g cd kien thuc va ki nang de htfdng dan. C on sinh vien
ra trtfdng thtfdng k h o xin dtfQc viec lam vi cac cQ sd deu nh^n
ngtfdi cd kin h n ghiem song!

Cd mQt thtfc te tr d treu la: Thtfc t£p n a n g cao ta y ngh'e t^i cQ

sd cu a sinh v ien th tfd n g dtfQc d an h gia b a n g mQt b a o cao thtfc
tap, m a nQi d u n g cu a no chu yeu t§p tr u n g v a o v a n d'e li thuyet,
h o a c sao ch e p ca c cir lieu xin dtfQc d b e n h vien , p h d n g k h a m hay
trtfd ng hQC. D ieu n a y cd v e nhtf c h u r g ta d a q u e n m y c tieu thtfc
tap thtfc te ciia sin h v ien tai cQ sd. N h a n xet cu a n h tfn g sin h vien
dtfQc p h d n g va n g iu p c h u n g ta h in h d u n g dtfQc thtfc tr a n g thtfc
tap cu a sin h v ien d cQ sd.

D o coi n h e q u a trin h h o c thtfc h a n h cu a s in h v ien nen dtfdng

nhtf g ia o v ie n dtfa sin h v ie n di thtfc ta p tr o n g tr a c h n h iem la
ngtfdi “b a o v e ” sin h vien , q u a n ta m d en c h u y e n an ngu ciia sinh
v ien , hQn la ngtfdi g iu p sin h v ie n cim g co nhtfng kien thtfc, ki
n a n g da hQe; g iu p s in h v ie n cd th e ap d u n g nhtfng dieu da hoc
v a o thtfc te d c o sd. Tai cac cQ sd th a m k h a m siic k h o e ta m than,
n o i s in h v ie n can d en thtfc ta p thtfc te, v ie c g a n nhtf “ p ho m a c”
tr a c h n h ie m g ia m sat thtfc ta p cho c h u y e n gia d c o sd, tro n g khi
stf lien h e cu a ca c trtfd ng dai hQe v d i cac c o s o n a y co n lo n g leo
v e c a m k e t, d a d a n tdi h ien ttfQng sin h vien “ttf b o i ”, ‘ ttf ngup
l a n ” de cd dtfQc ca m g ia c ngh'e! Nhtfng sinh vie n coi trQng viec
n a n g cao ta y ngh'e th tfd n g ca m th a y nhtf bi bo roi tr o n g cac dQt
thtfc ta p nhtf the!
X e m xet h ie u q u a la m viec cua cac ctf nh an ta m li h o c trong
lin h vtfc sufc k h o e ta m th an, T ien si Q u a n T rtfd n g S o n (B en h
v ie n T a m th a n T r u n g tfQng l) tron g bao cao n h a n d ip k v n ie m 10
CHUONG 2: So li/oc lich sCf hinh thanh va phat trien 109

n a m th a n h la p K hoa T a m li hoc, D H K H X H N V , th a n g 12/ 2007,

co n h a n xet nhir sau: "C a i n oi b a t ch tfa d tfd c ciia ca c nha tam li
h o c tre la ho co qua it ca c k i nang thi/c h an h, nhu" k i n an g h oi
c h u y e n la m sa n g , k i nang quan sat, lam test.v .v ... D tin g tr tfd c
m o t b en h n h a n tam than g o i khon g noi, h o i k h o n g th tf a, ca c cit
n h a n ta m li m d i ra trtfd n g lung tting k h o n g b ie t p h a i lam gi.
C a i c h tfa d tftfc th tf h a i la ca c nha tam li h o c tre d tfd c d a o tao
ta i ca c K h o a T am li h o c th tfd n g co kien th tic ch u n g ch u n g , ccf
b a n , k h o n g ch u y en sau , ca i g i cu n g biet va ru t cu c k h o n g biet
c a i gi. D ieu n ay co lien q u a n den v iec d ao tao d a i tra khon g
p h a n th eo ch u y en n g a n h h o a c th d i ItfOng d ao tao theo chu y en
n g a n h va th tfc tap th tic han h tai ccf s d cdn q u a it. C a i ch tia
d titfc th ti ba lien qua n den kha nang lam v iec d o c lap. H o
th tfd n g tu y e t do'i h o a kien th tic trong sach v d , it co kha nang
su y n g h i d o c la p ... N g u y e n n han la do p h ticfn g p h a p d a o tao d
k h o a cdn c h tfa chu y th u c d ay tinh tich ctfc sa n g tao cu a sin h
v ien . C a i c h tia d t id c th ti tti la kha n an g lam v ie c va h a p tac
th eo n h o m ciia ca c cd n bo tam li tre cdn ra t han ch e..."

V ie c sinh vien con it ditQc

lu y e n ki n a n g th a m van, it Nhtfng quang cao tren mang va tren
dtfQc thirc h a n h ca p h a n anh cac phtfOng tien khac ciia cac trung
tin h tr a n g hQC "chav", thieu tam ttf van, tham van ve tay nghe
h ieu b iet thirc te. N g o a i ra, de ciia doi ngii chuyen gia tra giiip va
dirge la m v ie c nhir mQt nha tinh da nang trong chtfa tri tam li a
th a m v a n / tri lieu thi sy” trau tat cd cac linh vtfc phai bay ro net
doi n h im g k in h n g h iem thtfc trang hanh nghe tham van, tri
th ird ng x u y e n doi h o i ngirdi lieu tam li, cung nhtf khia canh dao
trQ g iu p ta m li p h a i t y tra tien dtic ciia ngtfdi hanh nghe tra giiip
hQC th e m n g o a i lu o n g la rat hien nay a Viet Nam.
n h ieu v a rat dat. Nhu" d K hoa
T a i chtic, T rirdn g Dai h o c T o u lo u se II, thirdng m d nhting kh oa
hQC th e m n g o a i lu o n g de dirQc n a n g cao ki n a n g cho ngirdi m u o n
di sau v a o linh v y c t h y c hanh. V i d y, vd i trac n g h iem R o rsch a ch
(trac n g h ie m n a y dtfQc d ay trong chtfOng trinh chinh k h o a ciia he
cao hQe) ngtfdi h o c phai tra kh o a n g 480 euros cho mQt tu an hQe
110 G IAO TRINH THAW V A N TA M U

(ttfOng dtfOng vd i 10 trieu dong, gia tien n am 20 0 5). T a t ca n h im g

doi hoi ngat ngh eo doi vcri ngudi lam th a m va n /tri lieu tren the
gidi h au nhir k h o n g dirge "cap nhat" d an g ke va o cac ch irong trinh
dao tao nghe tam li 0 V iet N am . Dieu nay k h o n g th e k h o n g anh
hirdng den chat ltfgng ch am chira tam li cua cac n h a th a m va n doi
vdi cac k h a ch h a n g cua hQ.
Ngh'e th am van ddi hoi sir "trong sang v'e dao dure" ciia cac nha
th am van. Vi vay, khi lam viec vdi khach h a n g h o b u g c phai tuan
theo n h im g q uy tSc dao du'c hanh nghe m ot each tir ngu yen. Cac
nguyen tac dao du’c nghe nghiep giup lam ro trach n h iem ciia nha
th am van vdi xa hoi, m a n g lai stf yen tam cho kh ach h a n g va giup
cac nha th a m van d u y tri tinh chinh trtfc nghe nghiep.

O Viet N am , t u tu d n g "Day tam li hoc la d ay nghe tam li" chua

dUQc th u c s u quan triet d cac c 0 sd dao tao. ChtfOng trinh dao tao
cho sinh vien nganh T a m li hoc kh on g nhan m an h ve dao du'c ngh'e
nghiep trong gan het cac bo m on chuyen nganh noi ch ung va mon
T h a m van, tri lieu noi rieng. Vi vay, hien ttfOng thieu trung thtfc
trong quang cao cua m ot so ngtfdi lam ngh'e th a m van/tri lieu noi
len dang d u g c b ao dong.

Trd chuyen vdi cac chuyen gia tham van/tri lieu, nhi'eu ngtfdi
noi rang h o cam th ay rat lung tung neu co ai do n h d ho tim giup mot
chuyen gia ta m li cho nan de ciia ho h a y gia dinh ho. T u y nhien neu
chung ta thir d$o q ua m ot so trang m a n g quang cao ciia cac trung
tam th a m va n v a tri lieu se th ay bat n g d v'e tinh chat "rao h a n g ” ciia
cac tru n g ta m nay. V d i ttf cach la khach hang, lieu cd bao nhieu
ngtfdi tin rang tren the gidi cd nhtfng trung tam tham van da nang?
N htf cd the "tham v a n v'e h on nhan gia dinh, kh im g hoang, tam li lira
tuoi; van de tre vi thanh nien, ho tr g tre roi loan phat trien. djnh
htfdng nhan cach, gia tri song; tham van sire khoe sinh san. gidi
tinh, tinh due, H R 7; th a m van cai nghien, tinh cam d ong tinh: tham
van tre ch am phat trien tri tue, tham van tam li cho phu hu ynh tre
cham phat trien tri tue, nhom thiet thoi...". Cac trung tam th am van
theo kieu "gi gi gi ... cai gi cung ... lam tuot dang dirge q u a n g cao
ram ro tren cac trang mang.
 CHUONG 2: So li/oc lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 111

V ie c q u a n g cao p hon g dai cua cac dich vu trQ giu p tam li la

mQt bieu hien yeu kern trong cong tac dao tao ngh'e va g iam sat
ngh'e. H ien d V iet N a m dang ton tai cac q u y tac rieng le do cac
tr u n g ta m th a m van, ttf van tir ban hanh va chi ap d u n g vdi cac
th a n h vien ciia hQ. V ie c cac to chirc tham van h oa t dQng dQC lap,
k h o n g co s y lien ket th anh mQt m a n g Itfdi trQ giu p ch u yen nghiep
la m cho k h o n g kiem soat dirge chat lirgng dich vu ciia nhim g
ngirdi h a n h ngh'e k h o n g dirge dao tao. Q u an tro n g hQn, kh ong
b a o ve dirge lg i ich ciia khach hang va dac biet k h o n g nang cao
dirge u y tin va vi the ciia nghe tr g giup tam li tro n g xa hQi.

T h y c tra n g d ao tao th a m van trong cac trirdng d^i hQC hien

n a y k h ie n ch u n g tdi hinh d un g ve ngirdi hQe va cQ sd dao tao nhir
sau: Ngirdi h o c chira dirge dao tao bai ban tir goc do "ngh'e", chira
th e la m viec ch u y en nghiep, n him g hQ hoat dQng cd hieu qua
tro n g k h u o n kh o dtfQc dao tao. Cac cQ sd dao tao ttf tin, nhiet tinh
va n u o i d tfdng nhi'eu hi VQng ve ngh'e nghiep ttfQng lai.

- D a o ta o th a m v a n k h o n g c h u y e n

V d i stf giiip dd ciia mQt so to chirc Quoc te, dac biet U N IC E F da

ket hQp vdi U v b an D S & G D V N va vdi B q Lao dQng - ThtfOng binh va
Xa hQi to chirc nhieu khoa hQe tham van cQ ban cho cac can b<?
thuQC 2 nganh tren. Dac biet nam 2001 da dao tao dtfQc 30 can b<?
th am van thuQC cac tn rdng dai Ii q c . benh vien, doan the to chirc xa
hoi ciia T h a n h pho Ho Chi M inh va Ha NQi. Day la ltfc ltfQng nong
cot se th a m gia giang day trong cac khoa dao tao ve ki nang ttf van
tam li d cap t m n g tfQng va dia phtfOng trong pham vi ca ntfdc.

La nhtfng ngtfdi th a m gia tap h u an ve th am va n cho cac to

chirc, CQng d o n g cd dtf an h a y cQ sd cd dich vu th a m van, chung
tdi n h a n th a y ra n g nhu cau nang cao ch u yen m on ve thtfc hanh
th a m v a n tai cac cQ sd ciia cac th a m van vien la rat ldn. G an 100%
n h an v ien co sd m o n g m u o n dtfQc th am gia hoc cac k h o a v'e tham
van, tri heu; m u o n dtfQc co ngtfdi giam sat khi h a n h nghe va cac
h in h thirc n a n g cao ta y nghe khac.
112 | G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M LI

N h u n g cot sd thirdng it nhieu co quan tam d en vi£c n a n g cao

ki nang v a kien thtic cho nhan
Tdi dd titng tham gia khoa hoc
vien nhir Du" a.i tu" va n m ien phi
phai bo ra hem 1 trieu dortg cho
cua L lH P , T ru n g tam tir van A n
5 ngay do cac chuyen gia Uc
V i?t S on , p h o n g th a m van Vi£n
day. Mac du ket qua cung khong
T a m li hoc, p h o n g th a m van tam li
thu ditefe nhieu nhw minh mong
H oa Stia, co n g ty th a m van Share,
muon. Tuy nhien neu minh djnh
phong th a m va n Trirdng pho
lam nghe tham van - tri lieu thi
th o n g tru n g h oc dan lap Dinh
minh van nen tham gia.
T ien H oang. T h o n g thirdng cac
(Y kien cua mot cir nhan tam li
kh o a n a n g cao ta y ngh'e h a y giam
hanh nghe tham van ty do).
sat h oat d on g ch u y en m o n ctia co
sd thirdng diroc tap tru n g vao cac va n d'e nhu* ki n a n g th a m van;
th a m va n H IV /A ID S ; th a m van b ao hanh, th a m v a n la m d y n g
(tinh d ye), th a m va n tre em lam trai p hap luat, th a m va n cang
thang, th a m va n h o c dirdng, th a m va n ngh'e; th a m v a n stic khoe
sinh san, tri li£u q u a cac trd choi, k i n a n g song, sti d y n g trac
nghiem ...

T h o n g thirdng, cac k h o a tap h u a n d eu do cac to chtic phi

ch inh phti tai trg , h o a c doi khi do p hia cO q u a n chi tra tien.
N h u n g kh i diroc h o i v'e mtic do s i n san g th a m gia tap h u a n ma
phai t y tra k in h phi d ao tao thi cu n g k h a nhi'eu y kien cho r i n g h<?
san sa n g tra m o t k h o a n chi phi cho d o n vi dting ra tap huan.
N h tin g ngirdi h a n h ngh'e th a m va n deu m o n g m u o n cd the tham
gia va o cac k h o a h o c th y c s y co ch at lirgng, de co the dat dirge
nhting ki n a n g ngh'e nghiep.

H a n g n a m cac c o sd th a m v a n tru n g b inh to chtic cho nhan

vien ta n g cirdng k h o a n g 2,3 d g t tap huan. C ac ch u y en vien mdi
va o ngh'e th ird ng dirge h o c m ot k h o a bai ban. V d i cac k h o a hoc
n a n g cao ki n a n g th eo m ot chti de nhat dinh thi n g a y ca nhting
ngirdi da tting th a m gia, ho va n m u o n tiep ty c dirge h o c lai. Dieu
n a y the h i?n tr o n g cac k h o a hoc khi ch im g tdi n h an ra cac hoc
vien cu tr o n g cac k h o a tap hu an mdi. N hting h o c vien n a y q u a n
niem ra n g h o c ki n a n g th a m va n giong nhu* h o c ngoai ngti. cho
CHUONG 2: Sc li/oc lich sir hinh thanh va phat trien 113

nao d o n g den cu n g th a y can hoc, cang dirge h o c nhieu cang sang

to. V d i ho, th ich nhat la d u g c lam ca de ch u yen gia sira cho.

Ket q u a n g h ien ciru cap Dai h o c Q u oc gia v'e thtfc tran g va n de

thtfc h a n h th a m van va tri lieu, tien hanh tir 2 0 0 7 -2 0 0 9 cua
ch u n g toi chi ra r i n g 1: Da so nhtfng ngtfdi d an g h a n h n ghe th am
v a n deu co c h u n g m ot quan diem r i n g cong viec cua h o chtfa dgt
d trinh do ch u y en n gh iep va chtfa dap im g nhu cau cua kh ach
h a n g b d i rat nhi'eu li do, trong do m y c tieu d ao tao n g a n h h o c d
b a c dai h o c cd anh htfdng rat ldn den ket qua h a n h ngh'e cua ho.
H ien nay, m y c tieu d ao tao cua nganh T a m li h o c d cac trtfdng d$i
h o c cdn n a n g v'e li lu an va dan trai - Dao tao htfdng den cong viec
n g h ie n ciru, h o a c g ia n g d ay tam li, chir k h o n g phai la dao t^o ra
nhtfng ngtfdi thtfc h a n h , ngtfdi hanh nghe ch am chtfa ta m li. N htf
v a y trtfdng dai h o c chi la n o i cung cap cho ngtfdi h o c nhtfng kien
thirc c o b an va nen ta n g nhat ve tam li hoc, cdn m u o n cd the hanh
n g h e tot thi b an th an ngtfdi lam tham van, trj lieu va c o sd phai ttf
d ao tao th eo nhu cau ciia xa hoi. V i m y c tieu dao tao nghe d cac
cO s d cd dich vu th a m va n la dao tao nhan vien la m viec trtfc tiep
vd i k h a c h hang, nen ho can tap trung chu yeu vao viec b oi dtfdng
k i n a n g thtfc h a n h cho n h a n vien. Q ua phd ng va n cac ch u yen vien
th a m van , tri lieu d cO sd ch u n g toi nh^n th a y hien co n hieu hinh
thirc dao tao n a n g cao ch u yen m on cho n h an vien.

V i? c d ao tao ngtfdi la m tam li h o c d cac tn rd n g dai h o c chtfa

p h u h g p v d i co n g v ie c cu n g cap dich vu tr g giup ta m li cho xa hoi
nen da vo tinh la m ta n g gan h nang "dao tao l^i" th eo htfdng thtfc
h a n h d ca c cO sd c u n g cap dich v y th a m van. H ien n a y d cac tru n g
tam , p h d n g k h a m , p h d n g th a m van, p h d n g tri lieu d an g ho^t
d o n g tai H a N o i deu cd ch u n g m ot md h in h dao tao n a n g cao
ch u y e n m o n d a n h cho can bo th a m van, tri lieu, do la cac kh oa
ta p h u a n n g a n h a n , tr u n g b inh keo dai kh o a n g tuf 3 den 5 ngay.
P h a n ld n cac k h o a t£p h u a n n a y deu la m ien phi do cac to chirc

1 Tran Thj Minh Dire, Thirc hanh tham van va tri li$u tam li - Th\rc trang va gidi
phap , de tai cap Dgi hpc Quoc gia, Ha Npi, Ma so QX.2007.
11 4 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M Li

nhir U nicef, Plan, N gan h a n g T h e gidi, Q u y Fort va nhi'eu to chuc

k h ac tai trQ, h o a c do cac c0 sd la m dtf an vdi ntfdc ngoai cd ngan
sach d anh cho d ao tao can bo th a m van. C h u y e n gia tap huan
thtfdng la giao vien cac trtfdng dai hoc, vien n g h ien ciru tim g dirge
nhi'eu to chirc q u o c te va cac to chufc phi ch in h phu ntfdc ngoai d
V i?t N a m tai t r g cho cac kh oa dao tao n a n g cao ch u y en m on va
phtfOng p hap giao due chu dong. Ho dirge coi la nhtfng chuyen
gia d an h gia, tap hu an va giam sat d oc lap ch o cac chtfOng trinh
nay. C ac ch u y en gia cu n g cd the la ngtfdi ntfdc ngoai d u g c mdi
vao V iet N a m d ay th eo dtf an.

V i cac ch u y en gia thtfdng k h o n g th u g c ngtfdi ciia c o sd nen

cac k h o a tap h u a n n a n g cao ch uyen m on cho cac th a m van vien
thtfdng dtfQc x a c d jnh theo lich trinh ca n am dtfa va o nh u cau cua
nhan vien h o a c do la n h dao an d inh vdi stf d an h gia b a n dau ciia
ch u yen gia. M ot so cQ sd k h o n g chii trtfOng dao tao, ta p h u an cho
nh an vien m a b an th a n nhan vien phai ttf di tim nhtfng noi cd tap
hu a n de xin h o c h o a c co the tru n g tam giri n h a n vien ciia minh
den mQt cQ sd k h a c d an g m d tap h u a n h o a c di tap h u a n d ntfdc
ngoai do cac to chirc cua ntfdc ngoai tai trQ.

H ien n a y chtfa cd mQt d anh gia to n g the nao v'e hieu qua ciia
cac k h o a tap h u a n tren ca ntfdc. T u y n hien nhtfng ket qua ciia cac
k h o a tap h u a n n ho le cua mQt so tru n g ta m m a ch im g toi thu
dtfQc cho th a y n hin ch u n g cac n h an vien d eu hai lon g vdi viec
th in h th o a n g dtfQc n a n g cao ch u y en m on. Q u a tap h u a n hau het
cac h o c v ien d eu ca m th a y cd "ldn len".

Ben canh hinh thirc dao tao theo kh oa hoc, mQt so co sd lai duy
tri hinh thirc dao tao theo kieu “phi chinh thirc”. Cac buoi tham van
thtfdng xu yen cim g chuyen gia trong va ngoai ntfdc, va co the la cac
chuyen gia d chinh tai cO quan da giiip cac nhan vien hoc hoi trtfc
tiep thai do va ki nang de nang cao tay nghe. T h o n g thtfdng cac
nhan vien tham van, tri lieu rat hai long v'e cac buoi lam viec vdi stf
htfdng dan ciia chuyen gia ntfdc ngoai nhtf vay. Hinh thtfc nay
thtfdng dtfQc th a y d T ru n g tam N -T ciia co bac si N g u yen Khac Vien,
CHUONG 2: Sa Iliac lich sifhinh thanh va phat trien 115

C ong ty tham van Share, Trung tam tham van ho trQ tam li - giao
d y e CPEC, Phong tham van tam li Hoa Stfa.v.v...

Phan 16m cac to c h u t co hoat dQng tham van, trj lieu hien nay
chu yeu d u y tri hinh thirc dao tao b an g each ttf dao tao: ttf nang
cao ch u y en m o n vdi nhau. N h im g ngirdi co kinh ng h iem se htfdng
dan, tap h u a n cho nhtfng ngtfdi m di vao ngh'e. Dieu nay cho thay
ngtfdi la m ngh'e th a m van, tri lieu kh ong chi hQC hoi va nang cao
trin h d(j cua m in h b a n g stf giup dd ben ngoai, m a hQ cdn ttf nang
cao ta y ngh'e gitfa cac d ong nghiep vdi nhau. Dieu n a y p han anh
mQt thtfc te la cac th a m van vien dang dan ttf y thirc dtfQc vai tro
ngh'e n g h iep va cong viec ma hQ dang lam. Hinh thirc giup dd
th eo kieu "ngtfdi cd kinh nghiem nhieu hQn htfdng dan ngtfdi it
kin h n g h ie m hQn" thtfdng gap nhi'eu nhat d cac cQ sd cd tham van
trtfc tiep vdi kh ach hang.

Ttf n a n g cao ch u y en m o n ciia cac nhan vien th a m van co the

thtfc h ien b a n g cach hQ lien lac thtfdng xuyen vd i b an be de dtfQc
th a m gia va o cac k h o a tap huan khac nhau. MQt sd nhan vien
k h a c lai tim cach q u a y lai trtfdng hQC dtf gid thtfc h a n h th am van
vdi sinh vien, h o a c hQC ke vdi ldp cao hQC nhtfng kien thirc, ki
n a n g th a m va n m a d trinh dQ dai hQe hQ k h o n g dtfQc hQe. MQt so
k h a c ttf n a n g cao b a n g cach xin y kien h oac trd ch uyen lien ty c vdi
g ia o vien v e cac trtfdng hQp hQ th a y lu ng tung. MQt so nhan vien
th a m v a n cd the ttf n a n g cao kien thirc, ki n a n g b an g cach ttf kiem
cac ca q u e n b iet la m m ien phi h oac nhan ca ben ngoai lam them .
V e n g u y e n tac, ca hai trtfdng hQp nay deu vi p h a m dao dire hanh
nghe. T u y n h ien xet tro n g h oa n canh d V iet N am , b an luan ve van
d'e n a y se trd th a n h trd ctfdi khi m a dich v y th a m van hien chtfa
co mQt stf k ie m soat m a n g tinh phap li nao!
116 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M Li

CAU HOI ON TA P CHlfflNG 2

1. Hay neu anh hudng cua mQt so nganh trQ giup den hoat dQng
cua nganh tham van chuyen nghiep

2. Phan tich n h u n g dieu kien cho stf ra ddi cu a n g a n h th a m van

tren the gidi v a chi ra n h u n g yeu to kh S n g d jn h stf phat trien
cua n g a n h th a m van.

3. Phan tich tinh tran g hoat dQng th a m va n d V ie t N a m va chi

ra n h u n g dieu can lam ddi vdi cac nha ta m li hQe ch o s u phat
trien cua ngh'e th a m van hien nay.
 CHUONG3

CAC Li THUYET TIEP CAN

CA NHAN TRONG THAM VAN TAM LI

Tdi da tting di tham van nhieu. Nha tham van dau tien cua tdi
co the nghe dwac nhting phan sau kin nhat trong con ngtfdi tdi.
Ong ay dd giup tdi di qua mot so noi dau va stf ton thtfcfng co'
htiu. Ong dy cung dd giup tdi xem xet ban than va kham pha ra
nhting cam xuc cua ban than tdi. Ong dy la mot nha nhan van.
N ha tri lieu tiep theo dd thach thtic tdi. Ong dy da yeu cau tdi
nham mat lai; tiep xiic v&i nhting suy nghi, cam xiic va cam giac
ciia tdi va ban luan ve chiing. Ong dy da chi ra nhting mau
thuan, nhtf viec nhan biet rang tren thtfc te tdi se ctf&i khi tdi
gian dti. Ong ay dd yeu cau tdi di sau hon vao ban than tdi. Ong
ay la nha tri lieu Gestalt.
Nha tri lieu thtf ba md tdi gap thtf&ng ngoi tren g h e v a lang
nghe tdi noi, hiem khi phan ting lai; ong ay cung khong noi gi.
Tdi hiem khi, neu khong noi la chtfa bao gi&, nhan dtfOc y kien
phan hoi. Tdi nghi ong ay la mot nha phan tam, hoac it nhat la
ngtf&i cd dinh htf&ng phan tam.
Nha tri lieu tiep theo la mot ngtf&i lang nghe tot va chi ra
nhting Itfa chon md tdi cd trong cuoc d&i. Ong dy se co gang de
hieu dieu gi la quan trong v&i tdi va giup tdi danh gia lai ban
than qua nhtfng Itfa chon md tdi da thtfc hien. Ong dy la mot
nha tri lieu hien sinh rat noi tieng.
Tdi da gap mot nha hanh vi trong mot th&i gian ngan. Ong
dy dd giup tdi tiep tuc lam viec v&i mot so' van de trong diem.
Ong dy dd cd rat nhieu kinh nghiem, sau dd chimg tdi m&i cimg
nhau lam viec. Tdi cimg phan nao thich dieu dd.
Gan day, tdi dd gap mot nha tri lieu nhan thtic Ong dy dd
giiip tdi hieu viec tdi dd tao ra y nghia sai ve the gi&i nhtf the
118 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

nao. Ong ay lam dieu do bang viec tra giup toi xac djnh lai
nhting suy nghi ma tdi co va bang viec giiip dd toi nhin thay cac
phtfang cach phirc tap ma tdi nghi ve ban chat ciia minh. Dieu
nay that thu vj - nhtfng stf thay doi chac chan cd ve kho khan.
Toi dd di tham van nhieu. Tdi dd gap nhtfng nha tri lieu nam va
nhtfng nha tri lieu nit; nhtfng nha trj lieu thap tay va nhtfng nha
trj lieu cao tay; nhtfng nha trj lieu kem va nhtfng nha tri lieu tot.
Tdi nghi tham van dd lam tdi sau sac hcfn. Tdi biet no dd giiip tdi
trd thanh mot ngtf&i tot han, thanh mot nha tham van tot han.

(E.D. Neukrug, 1999)

C ac li th u yet tiep c£n trong tham van noi rien g va tron g cac
nganh trgf giup tinh than noi chung deu co nguon goc tir tri thirc tam
li h(?c nen d chirong n ay viec sir d yn g khai niem th am van h ay trj
li?u chi la cach gQi th on g d yn g, m a kh on g co y phan b iet v'e cach
thirc irng d yn g cua chung. ChiTOng 3 chu yeu gidi th ieu tom tat mQt
so li th u yet ve tam li hQC phat trien, chim g la nen tan g giu p soi sang
nhung van de tam li cua con ngirdi, n h u th u yet phat trien nhu cau
con ngudi, th u yet phat trien tam li xa hQi cua con ngirdi, th uyet g in
bo m e - con va th u yet ton th u on g tam li. T iep sau dd ch im g toi se
gidi th ieu mQt so y tu d n g co b an cua nam tru d n g phai tiep can ca
nhan th on g d y n g tron g tham van, trj lieu tam li. Dd la T iep can Tam
dQng hQC, T iep c£n N h an van, T iep can N h an thirc va T iep can Hanh
vi. T ron g lin h v y c trQ giup, cac nha th am van da u n g dung nhfeu hQC
thuyet kh ac nhau ve phat trien tam li va xa hQi cu a con ngudi. Dudi
day la 4 li th u yet phat trien tam li dUQc nhieu nha th am van tren the
gidi irng d y n g tro n g th u c han h ngh'e th am van.

I. M 0 T SO LI TH U YET TAM LI HQC NEN TANG

1. Thuyet p h a t trien nhu cau con ngtfdi

A b ra h a m M a slo w (19 0 8 -19 70 ), nha tam li hQC n g u d i M i da

x a y d u n g hQe th u y e t p h at trien ve nhu cau con n g u d i va o nh im g
n am 50 cu a th e k y X X .

He thong cap bac nhu cau ciia M aslow thirdng dirge the hien
dudi d^ng mQt hinh kim ty thap, cac nhu cau d b£c thap (nhu cau
C H U O N G 3: Cac If t huyet tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am li 119

ch o stf to n tai) thi xep phia dtfdi, tro n g khi n him g nhu cau cho s y
ph at trien , s y h o an th ien ca nhan dtfQc coi la quan trQng hQn, gia
trj hQn, ch u n g dUQc xep d cac th an g b ac tren cao cua kim t y thap.

T ro n g h e th o n g thir b ac nhu cau

Abraham Maslow
cu a A. M a slo w , o n g cho ran g m oi
( 1908- 1970)
nh u cau ciia con ngtfdi deu p h y
thuQC va o nhu cau trtfdc do. N eu mQt
n h u cau k h o n g dtfQc dap im g (dau
tien la n h u cau ton tai - n hu cau the
ch at), ca n h an se gap can trd trong
vi^c th eo d u o i nhtfng nhu cau cao
h o n (n h u cau giao tiep xa hgji, nhu
cau h o a n th ie n ca n h an ).
- N h u ca u the c h a t - nhu cau c a
ba n ch o s it ton ta i ciia ca nhan.
N h u cau n a y co n dtfQc gQi la nhu
cau cu a c o th e (b o d y n eed s) ho£c vvww.trans4mind.com
nhu cau sin h li (p h y sio lo g ica l
n e e d s), b a o g o m ca c nhu cau cQ b an cua con ngtfdi nhtf thirc an
d a y dii, k h o n g k h i de th d , ntfdc u on g, stfdi am , nQi tru ngu, tin h
d ue, b a i tie t, th d , n g h i n g o i, cac nhu cau lam cho con ngtfdi
th o a i m a i v e c o th e. D a y la nhtfng nhu cau co b an nh at v a m an h
n h a t cu a co n ngtfdi.
C a c n h u cau n a y kh i k h o n g dtfQc dap im g se keo th eo nhtfng
k h o k h a n ta m li: “ Co thtfc m di vtfc dtfQc d a o ” ! Con ngtfdi can p h ai
dtfQc d ap im g nhtfng n h u cau cQ b an nhtf an uong, sau do m d i co
th e d ap im g nhtfn g n h u cau cao hQn, nhtf nhu cau tin h than.
N h a th a m va n k h o co the g iu p th an chii giai q u yet nhtfng kh o
kh a n ta m li cu a hQ k h i cac nhu cau co b an cho stf ton tai cu a hQ
k h o n g dtfQc d ap im g. T u y n hien nha th am van cu ng can ltfu y
ran g, tro n g n htfn g th d i diem n h at dinh th an chu co th e hi sinh
vi£c d ap im g n h tfn g n h u cau cQ b an cho stf ton tai ciia m in h vi
d an h dtf h a y li ttfd ng. Thtfc te cac nhu cau con ngtfdi th tfd n g dan
xen lan n h au . M u c tieu giiip than chii giai quyet van de ciia hQ doi
h oi k in h n g h iem lam viec va quan diem tiep can ciia n h a th a m
v a n vd i v a n de do.
 GIAO TRINH T H A M V AN T A M U
120

He thdng thu> bac nhu c^u cua A braham M aslow

- N h u cau an toan - an nin h (sa fety n eed s). K hi con ngirdi da

dirge d ap im g cac n h u cau co b an n h u an, m a c th i cac nhu cau ve
an to a n , an n in h se d u g c h o a t hoa. A n n in h ta o ch o ca n h an mQt
m oi tru d n g k h o n g n g u y hiem . Ca n h an m o n g m u o n cd stf bao
cho sy 1 so n g cdn ciia m in h kh di cac n g u y h iem . N h u cau n a y cung
th u d n g dUQc k h a n g dinh th o n g qua cac m o n g m u o n ve stf on dinh
tro n g cuqc son g, d u g c yen tam v'e cac che dQ b ao h iem xa hoi. cac
ch e dQ k h i v e hUu, d u g c so n g tro n g cac k h u p h o an n in h , song
tro n g xa h$i cd p h a p lu at, co nha cira de d... T o m lai, ca n h an can
co cam g ia c y e n ta m kh i dUQc an to an th an th e, dtfQc d am bao
vi£c la m , dtfQc h tfd n g cac d ich v y y te v a xa hQi va tai san ca nhan
dtfQc b a o v£.
K hi ca n h a n cam th a y b at on hQ co the tim k iem sir an to a n v'e
m §t tin h th a n tir stf ch e ch d b d i cac niem tin ton giao. N htfn g
ngtfdi k h a c tim den n h a th a m van de dtfQc tr g giu p . Vi£c cu n g cap
th o n g tin ve cac d ich v y xa hg»i de dap im g nhu cau an to an cho
th an ch ii, n htfn g ngtfdi co ton thtfQng tam li do k h o n g d u g c dap
im g n h u cau an to an cu n g la trach n hi?m ciia nha th a m van .
C H U O N G 3: Cac If t huy et tiep can ca nhan trong t ham van t am If 12 1

- N h u cau d tfp c giao htu tinh cam va dtfcfc trtfc thuoc

{love/belonging needs): Ca
Phong van dien vien Quyen lin h
nhan kh o n g the ton t^i khi
thieu cac m oi quan h? tu" gia - Quyen Linh: ... Toi lam phim
dinh, b an be, CQng dong va vi danh dtf, uy tin va kinh te, phai
don g nghiep... V i v^y ca nhan co mot trong ba yeu to do toi mdi
m uon thuQC ve mQt nhom CQng nhan ldi tham gia. Neu phim md
don g nao do, m uon co gia dinh chieu khong ai xem, tien khong co
yen am , b an be than htfu tin thi tdi dong lam gi.
cay. C ac cam giac kh ong dtfQc - Phong vien: Neu hien tai cd
yeu thtfOng va kh on g dtfQc chap mot ldi m di dong phim nhtfng
nh£n co the la nguon goc cua cat-se khong ttf Ong xirng vdi thdi
cac h a n h vi l£ch lac xa hQi. Nhu gian, cong site anh phai bo ra thi
cau n a y the hi£n qua qua trinh anh cd nhan khong?
giao tiep nhtf vi£c tim kiem , ket
- Quyen Linh: Bii lai neu vai
ban, tim ngtfdi yeu, l£p gia dien dii hay thi tham chi chi
dinh, th am gia mQt CQng dong can. nuoi com, khong cd tien tdi
nao do, di lam vi£c, tham gia cung dong. Tir trtfdc deh nay
cac cau lac bQ, lam vi£c nhom ...
dong phim dau cd dtf tien, tdi biet
M aslow cho rang neu nhu cau dieu dd md. Nhtfng hay cho tdi
nay khong dtfQc thoa man, dap mot vai dien, mot CO hoi v a mot
ufng, no co the gay ra cac b<?nh stf ton trong.
tram trQng ve tinh than, than
(Hanh Phtftfng, VietNamnet,2007)
kinh. Nhieu nghien cutf cho
thay, nhtfng ngirdi song d<?c than thtfdng hay mac cac b£nh ve tieu
hoa, than kinh, ho hap hon nhtfng ngtfdi song vdi gia dinh.
- N hu cau du ’Q’c ton tivn g (esteem needs): Nhu cau nay cdn dtfQc
gQi la nhu cau tir trQng (self esteem needs) vi no the hi£n mong muon
dtfQc ngirdi khac quy men, ne trQng thong qua cac thanh qua cua ban
than, va stf cam nhan, quy trQng chinh ban than, danh tieng cua minh,
cd long ttf trQng, stf coi trQng kha nang cua ban than. Khi chung ta gia
nhap mQt to chtfc, mQt d<?i nhom, chung ta cam thay minh thuQC ve
noi do, nen luon muon dtfQc niQi ngtfdi trong nhom ne trQng, quy
men. Dong thdi chiing ta cung phan dau de cam thay minh cd “vi tri”
trong nhom dd. Tuy nhien stf tir danh gia ban than mdi ca nhan phy
thuQC vao mi'rc dQ danh gia ciia ngirdi khac. Neu ca nhan cd stf ttf danh
gia tich ctfc ve ban than thi ngtfdi do da dtfQc trang bi tot de cd the
dtfQng dau doi vdi nhtfng kho khan cua minh. Stf dap tfng va dat dtfQc
12 2 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M II

nhu cau nay co the khien cho tre h gc t£p tich ctfc hcfn, ngirdi tnrdng
thanh cam thay tu" do hon. Khi mQt ngirdi dirge khich le, tin tirdng hQ
sfin sang dirong dau vdi cong viec va lam vi$c hieu qua hon. M uc dich
cua tham van la giup than chu nhan ra nhtfng gia trj ttf tai cua m inh va
ttf tin de giai quyet van de cua chinh minh.
- N h u cau tu: hoan thien - c a hoi the hien ban than (self-
actualization needs): Bac cuoi cung va cao nhat tron g h e th o n g thti
b ac nhu cau ctia M aslo w cd tac dQng ldn nhat tdi stf hoan thien
nhan cach. M aslo w m d ta nhu cau n ay la stf m on g m u on dtfQc la
chinh m inh, dirge lam nhting cai m a m inh “sinh ra de la m ”- Sir hien
thtfc hoa cai m in h (cai b an than). Dd la nhu cau dirge ttf k h an g dinh
m inh, nhu cau cho stf trtfdng thanh ca nhan, cQ hQi ctia stf phat
trien va hQC hoi ca nhan de ttf hoan th ien m inh. N hu cau n a y the
hi?n d viec m u on dtfQc sang tao, dirge the h ien k h a nang, th e hien
b an than, dirge trin h dien m inh va dirge cong nh£n th an h dat.
T ron g th am van gQi la “btfdc hien thtfc h oa ti'em n an g ctia th an ch u ”.
M aslo w la ngtfdi dau tien md hinh h oa va dtfa ra li th uyet v'e
mQt h? th on g nhu cau ctia con ngtfdi. T u y n hien li th u yet nay cung
cdn nhieu h an che do stf tu yet doi h oa n h u cau ctia con ngtfdi trong
m oi th an g b a c ctia stf phat trien. 6 mQt kh ia can h nao do cd the thay
rang "Cd thtfc m d i vtfc dtfQc dao", N htfng, k h o n g phai cti phai thoa
m an nhu cau d nac th an g th eo m d h in h M a slo w thi con ngtfdi mdi
tiep tu c n a y sinh v a th oa m an cac nhu cau d n ac th an g tren. Cd
nhting gia tri xa hQi, h a y kh u on m au xa hQi dan dat hanh vi con
ngtfdi m a kh o n g bi dieu kh ien b d i cac nhu cau cd tinh ton tai. Trong
th o ctia T o H tiu noi v e cuqc "dau tran h " th am lan g ctia cac chien si
tron g tu gitia mQt b en la nhu cau vat chat v a b en kia la nhu cau tinh
than: "An di va i con ca, D am b a y cai chQt ntfa, Cd ai b iet ai ngd, The
van tron d an h dtf..." V a ket qua la hQ cd the hi sinh ban than (chet vi
doi), nhtfng n h at quyet kh o n g lam dieu gi anh htfdng tdi danh dtf
cua ngtfdi cach m ang. T u y nhien, hQn 60 nam qua, li th u yet cua
M a slo w va n dtfQc n h ac den va dtfQc sti dung rQng rai tro n g cac linh
vtfc, d ac b iet la tro n g lin h vtfc trQ gitip con ngtfdi.
V a o n h tin g n am sau nay, sir phan cap nhu cau n a y da dirge
M a slo w h i?u ch in h th an h 7 b ac (1970) va cuoi cu n g la 8 bac
(1990): l/ N h u cau cQ b an (basic needs), 2/N h u cau ve an toan
(safety n eed s), 3 /N h u cau v'e xa h<?i (social needs), 4 /N h u cau v'e
 C HL f ON G 3: Cac If t huy et tiep can ca nhan trong t ha m van t am li 123

dtfQc q u y trQng (esteem needs), 5/N hu cau ve nhan th u c (cognitive

need s), 6 /N h u cau ve thaim m y (aesth etic needs), 7/N hu cau dtfQc
the hi£n m inh (self-actualizin g needs), 8/Stf sieu nghiem
(tran scen d en ce). T u y nhien, trong thtfc te 5 b£c th an g nhu cau cua
on g van dtfQc sir d y n g pho bien tron g cac lin h vtfc hoat dQng co
lien q u an den nhu cau cua con ngtfdi.
H qc th uyet v'e thtf b£c nhu cau cua A. M aslow giup nha tham
van xac dinh dtfQc thu1b£c nhu cau hi<?n t$i cua than chu, tir do xay
dtfng ch ien ltfQc giup dQ than chii. M oi ca nhan trong qua trinh ton
tgi va phat trien ciia m inh deu trai qua cac mire dQ phat trien nhu
cau k h ac nhau, di tir thap tdi cao. Stf khong dap im g cua mQt thang
nhu cau n ao cung cd anh htfdng den stf m at can ban g trong qua
trinh ph at trien, hoan thi£n nhan each cua ca nhan. Dd cung la
ngu yen nhan g a y ra nhtfng kho khan tam li.

2. Thuyet phat trien tam li xa hgi

E rik Erikson (1902-1994), nha tam

Erik Erikson (1902- 1994)
li hQC M I goc Du'c, la mQt trong nhtfng tac
gia dau tien nhan m anh den cac khia
c^nh xa hQi anh htfdng den cac giai doan
phat trien lira tuoi, m a d do mdi giai do<m
co nhtfng m au th u an nhat dinh gitfa nhu
cau ca nhan va stf dap im g xa hQi. H q c
th uyet cua E. E rickson da phat trien tir
hQC th u yet Freud, nhtfng nhan m anh chu
yeu den cac van de thich nghi m a mdi
trtfdng xa hQi dat ra cho ca nhan qua 8
giai doan kh iin g h oan g ldn ciia c u q c ddi.
Dtfdi stf tac dQng ciia mdi trtfdng xa hQi,
nhtfng m au thuan dd neu dtfQc giai quyet w w w . phillw ebb.net
se lam cho nhan cach tre dtfQc phat trien.
Trong tnrdng hQp ngtfQc lai, ca nhan se cd nhtfng roi loan tam li,

u • v
m a n h a y k h o n g t h o a m a n c a c n h u ca u s in h li cQ b a n . N eu k h o n g
dtfQ'c d a p im g t h o a m a n , v i dy, tre k h o e v i d o i n h tfn g n g tfd i m ? la i
d a p im g l<?n xQ n: lu c t h i c h o a n lu c th i k h o n g c h o a n h o a c d a p im g
12 4 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

mQt nhu cau kh on g phai cua tre - be hoac tam rira, sir dap im g tuy
tien n ay se lam cho tre bi roi loan phan ung va kh on g thanh lap
d u g c phan xa co dieu kien va dQng hinh. \ ri v a y tre se nghi ngd. mat
long tin vao ban than va nhung ngirdi xung quanh. N girpc lai. neu
ngudi m e (xa hgi - ben ngoai) luon dap u ng nhu cau. tre se hanh
dQng theo phan xa cd dieu kien, theo kin h nghiem , "niem tin" cua
tre va vi the tre cd dUQc sir t y tin va long tin cav vao ngirdi khac.
- G ia i doan khiing hoang 2 - Giai doan 12 th an g - 3 tuoi: S u t u
chu x s u hoai nghi: G iai doan g in vdi stf tap luyen dau tien va chii
yeu la tap lu yen sach se, tiTQng ung vd i giai doan hau m on ciia
Freud. N eu tre dUQc giup dd de lam chii cQ the, tre se ttf chii. tir
kiem soat va hinh th an h y thirc dQC lap theo. G iai doan nay tre
th u d n g han h dQng theo kieu khang kh an g "ttf con" mQt cach budng
binh. NgUQc lai, stf kiem tra va lam hQ con mQt cach qua thai hoac
tac dQng kh on g nhat quan tir ben ngoai (chii yeu la cha m e, ngudi
than tron g nha) cd the dan den su ho th en va s u hoai nghi kh a nang
cua b an than, lien quan den sQ hai, le thuQC va m at tu" chii.
- G ia i d o a n khiin g hoan g 3 - G iai d oan 3 - 6 tuoi: Oc sang
k i e n x m a c cam t<?i ldi. D ay la th d i ki tre k h a n g dinh b an than, lien
quan den stf lin g ho, giu p dd n h u n g viec m a tre m u on ttf lam . Neu
n gu di ld n de tre em th u c hien se cho phep p h at trien su sang tao,
stf k h a n g d in h b an th an . NgiTQc lai, neu bi can trd, gap that b ai lien
tu c vd i h a n h d on g k h o n g cd trach nhiem , cd n g u y co dua tre den
cam chiu v a co m a c cam t<?i ldi.
Cac giai doan khung hoang cua dai nguai

-t 8

Slp p h a t tri§n
ta m li - xa hoi
cu a con ngupoi
th e o cac g iai do an
C H U O N G 3: Cac If t huy et tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am li 125

- G ia i doan khiing hoang 4 - Giai doan 6-12 tuoi: Co nang ltfc

>< stf ttf ti, kern coi. T re can dtfQc chuan bi tot cac n hiem vu co lien
q u an d en trtfdng hQe. V iec luyen cho tre tinh ham thich lam viec,
h am m u on hQe hoi kien thirc, hQC lam viec giup tre se co cam giac
th a n h cong. Di'eu nay giup tre hinh thanh stf ham thich lam viec
tot. NgtfQc lai, neu tre kh on g dtfQc hQC hoi, kh am pha, tre se cam
th a y m in h kern coi, n hut nhat khi stf d yn g cac con g cy, phtfOng
tien h o a c d im g trtfdc ban be. Ket qua n ay chu yeu do kh on g khi
h o c tap v a phtfOng p h ap giao d ye d nha trtfdng tao nen.
- G ia i doan khiing hoang 5 - G iai do?m 12-18 tuoi: Ban
s a c x l i n lQn vai trd. Cdn gQi la kh ung hoan g tuoi d ay thi. C u n g vdi
stf p h at trien hoan th ien ve sinh ly, kinh n gh iem son g va vai trd xa
hQi, tre n h |n thirc dtfQc ban sac, gia trj ciia b an than. Ban sac lien
q u an den stf th o n g hQp cac kinh nghiem trtfdc d ay vd i cac tiem
nang. N eu tre kh o n g the hoac kho cd the tim ra b an sac ciia ca
n h an , se dan den stf lan lQn vai tro m a tre phai dong tren bin h dien
cam xiic, xa hQi, n ghe n gh iep trong giai doan dd va suot cuqc ddi.
- G ia i doan khiin g hoan g 6 - Giai doan 18-40: Stf th an thiet >
< stf cd lap. D ay la giai doan ciia ngtfdi tre tuoi, ttfQng im g vd i viec
tim kiem stf m£t th iet cua tinh yeu ddi lira de cim g chia se ve viec
lam , giai tri, tin h d y e va sinh san con cai nham dam b ao stf phat
trien toan dien. NgtfQc lai, neu than h nien kh on g dtfQc'trai nghiem
h o a c tran h cac trai n gh iem nhtfng nhu cau n ay se dan den ttf cach
ly v a co m in h lai, xa lan h xa hQi va mQi ngtfdi xu n g quanh.
- G ia i doan khiin g hoang 7- Giai doan 40-60: Stf phat trien > <
stf tri tre- D ay la giai doan ciia tuoi trung nien. Dac diem ciia no la
tinh phat trien, the hien kha nang sang tao trong cac linh vtfc khac
nhau, stf q u an tam v a giao due the he tiep theo. Con ngtfdi cd thien
htfdng quan tam phat trien dao li h o n v£t chat, quan he tinh due
(fan m d nhat va dtfQc xa hQi hoa. 6 giai doan nay con ngtfdi can duy
tri d d i so n g xu c cam de tranh stf can kiet tinh cam do cac stf cd ciia
gia dinh h oac stf tach ddi ciia cac con. D ieu cot yeu ciia tuoi trung
nien la gitf cho dtfQc stf m em deo ve tam tri th ong qua viec di tim cac
giai phap m d i h o n la duy tri nhtfng thdi quen, kinh nghiem ctfng
nhac. D ieu n av lam cho con ngtfdi bj tri tre, ngtfng phat trien.
126 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M U

- G iai doan khiing hoang 8- G iai doan tir 60 trd len: Hoan
t h a n h x s u th at vpng. Tirong im g vcfi tu oi gia. G iai d oan ciia s y
tong ket toan bQ cac vi£c da lam tro n g q ua khir, ch ap n h an chung
n h u mQt s u toan v?n ca nhan. Khi con n gu di k h o n g ch ap nhan tuoi
gia vd i qua khir da trai qua, hQ se th at VQng vi kh o n g lam lai dirge
n h u n g cai da qua thuQC v'e tuoi tre. Con n gu di se ket th u c ddi minh
tron g sQ hai vi cai chet se den tron g noi th at VQng kh o n g the lam lai
cuqc ddi. 6 giai d oan nay, ca nhan cd the d va o hai cam giac khac
nhau: 1) C am giac da hoan th an h mQi cong vi£c, n gh ia v y ciia ho
doi vd i gia dinh, xa hQi va b an than; 2) C am gia c th at vQng khi hQ
cam th a y v'e tu oi gia cdn nhi'eu dieu chira lam dUQc ch o gia dinh, xa
hQi, cho ch in h b an th an m inh.
N h a th am van can phai hieu ro dac diem ciia cac co n khiing
h o an g tro n g m di giai d oan phat trien lira tu oi de g iu p th an chii xac
dinh th an chu d an g d tron g cOn kh iin g h o a n g n ao, de cd the ufng
pho hai h o a g iu a nhu cau ca nhan va s y dap im g xa hQi. G iup ho
vUQt qua cac cOn k h iin g h o an g tir lira tu oi tn rd c, tir dd vach ra
ch ien lUQc trQ giu p hQ chap nhan v a vUQt qua giai doan kh o khan
de d u o n g dau tot hQn vd i cuqc song.

3. Thuyet gan bo me - con

John Bowlby
J o h n B o w lb y (19 0 7-19 9 0 ) la nha
(1907-1990)
p h an ta m hQC n g u d i A n h , on g noi tien g
v d i n g h ien ciru v'e tap tin h hQC v a d ua ra
th u y e t g a n b o g iu a tre nho v a n gu di
ch am so c h a y cdn gQi la th u y e t v'e m oi
q u an h£ m ? - con sdm . N h u n g quan sat
cu a o n g v'e gan b o m e - con d n h u n g con
lin h tru d n g v a q u an sat v'e n h im g dira
tre bi ta ch k h o i m ? tro n g mQt th d i gian
dai d u a o n g den ket lu an r in g stf gan bo
xa hQi q u y et d in h doi vd i stf phat trien
b in h th u d n g ciia dira tr e .1 w w w .u n i \ iew .co .uk

1 Attachment, 1969,1982. Attachment Attachment and Loss. Vol.I (2nd.ed)

NewYork: Basic Book, 1999.
C H U O N G 3: Cac If t huyet tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am If 127

G an bo dtfQc xem la mQt m oi quan he tfu tien noi ket gitfa

ngtfdi nay va ngtfdi khac ma stf Itfa chQn nay dtfQc dtfa tren mQt
stf ham m uon hay mQt nhu cau. Gan bo dtfQc q u y djnh bdi cac
kinh n ghiem cd dtfQc qua cac giai doan n hay cam (Bourges,
1981, tr.2 1 9 ).2 N htfng tin hieu n h tfk e u khoe, bi bo, m im ctfdi d
tre so sinh du la do "mu day" luc so sinh hay nhtfng cu ctfdi xa
hQi dich thtfc deu truyen dat nhtfng nhu cau cua tre nho va thuc
g iy c ngtfdi ldn den vdi chung. Stf gan bo gitfa m e (ngtfdi cham
soc) vd i so sinh thtfdng the hien d stf phan kh an g khi ngtfdi me
rdi khdi con, va nu ctfdi bi bo khi me quay lai. Khi tre bi stress
tre cung tim kiem gtfOng mat g in bo. N htfng phan xa ttf nhien
nhtf bam viu, dm , cham vao ngtfdi quen khi sQ hai la nhtfng tin
h ieu cho th ay tre so sinh can dtfQc bao ve b an g stf che chd khdi
nhtfng cam giac sQ hai bi tru y hgi. Stf gian doan, xa cach trong
qu an he m e con thtfdng dan tdi stf chong doi cua em be, den stf
th at VQng, xa rdi va tro n g mQt sd trtfdng hQp dan den nhtfng roi
lo an cam xu c va im g xtf trong giao tiep.
H arry H arlow (1905 - 1981) chung minh stf thieu hut giao
tiep xa hQi d nhtfng con khi con gay ra nhtfng rdi loan tam li d
chung qua cac thtfc nghiem quan sat. BQn khi bi cach ly vdi me va
ban be trong 6 thang dau ddi hoac lau hon bQC 1q mQt cung cach ctf
xtf d§c biet bat thtfdng khi trd ve c u q c song binh thtfdng. Cac van
de ung xtf bat thtfdng cua chung dai dang den tan tuoi trtfdng
thanh. Vi dy: sau 3 thang thieu h yt quan he xa h<)i, khi dtfQc dtfa
lai cuqc song bay dan, chung da tron tranh mQi tiep xuc bay dan,
chung giau dau trong tay va co minh lai. Cac chu khi .bi cach ly 6
thang hay hon ntfa da phat trien ung xir xa hQi va gidi tinh bat binh
thtfdng d tuoi thanh thieu nien va trtfdng thanh.
H a rlo w cho r in g mQt con khi dtfc bi cach ly giao tiep th di
th o au k h o n g th e th am gia sinh san. M § c du no trd nen tich ctfc
kh i cd con khi cai nhim g no kh on g biet cach giao phoi. V d i khi
cai, stf giao tiep vd i ban cung tuoi khi be la quan trQng de lam
m e sau nay. M a c dii khi cai bj cach ly tir be van co the co con,
nhtfng no k h o n g g ia o tiep vdi con no khi de ra. No k h on g nhan

: Dan theo, Van Thi Kim Cue (chu bien), Nhitng ton thifefng tam li cua thieu nien
do hom e li hon, XX B Khoa hgc Xa h q i, Ha NQi 2003 (tr 83).
128 GI A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M U

biet con, dam len con nhir the do la mQt vat chur k h on g phai con
do no sinh ra, h oac doi xir rat tho lo vdi con.
N h irn g n g h ie n ciru cu a
S p itz v a W o lf (19 3 5 ) tai n h a tre
m o coi v a ta i tra i g ia m ch o
th a y cam g ia c an to a n ciia tre
n h o d oi b an ta y b a m e co lien
q u a n d en v ie c ta p di, ta p noi va
su" au y e m tin h ca m k h i ngirdi
m e gQi co n d a la m ch o con
ham n o i, h a m di. N e u th ie u
nhirn g y e u to n a y, n g a y v d i tre
2, 3 tu o i k h o n g tu" h in h th a n h
dirQc1. N h irn g n g h ie n ciru ve
tre em co hQi chim g “n&m .• , ,, ,
0 \ m v . tinnhanhbioe.com
v ie n ” h a y tre bi cach li qua lau
vd i cha m e do chien tran h cun g dira den nhirng roi lo an tam li,
bieu hien m an g tin h dien h in h d ch im g n h ieu tam , kern thich
nghi xa hQi. V d i tre em , xa h<?i hoa la qua trin h tre dirQc tiep
xu c vd i cha m e, ngirdi than, ban be ciing tra n g lira va van minh
nhan lo ai. C ac m di quan he nay d ay ch u n g nhirng dieu can thiet
de trd th a n h mQt n han cach xa hQi.

Su1k e m p h a t trie n th e ch at cu a tre em v a nhirng roi lo an tam

li ciia ch u n g d eu co n g u yen n h an tir sir th ie u h u t giao tiep d tuoi
d au d di, d ac b ie t la th ieu h u t giao tiep vd i m e. H au q u a ciia sir xa
cach d a d irge S p itz ch ia th a n h hai loai: mQt so tro n g ch u n g dan
dan ta ch ra kh d i nhirng lien he xu n g q u an h , tre k h o n g n h an thay
su* k h a c n h a u tro n g im g xir giira ngirdi th a n va ngirdi la. T rai lai,
n h im g dira k h a c da b ie u 1q nhu cau kh at k h a o v'e tiep xuc. C hu n g
vo va p vd i n h u n g ngirdi m a ch im g k h o n g q u en b iet. N h im g theo
doi sau n a y ch o th a y n h ieu dira tre bi dat va o su" xa ca ch ay da co
n h im g d au h ieu ro ran g ve su1k h o n g th ich n gh i xa hQi.

N g h ien cim ve lien he m e con d tre em do S a lly P ro v e n c e va

R ose L ip to n k h a o sat d cac tre sQ sinh k h o e m an h ve th e chat

1Nguyen Khac Viijn. Tam li gia dinh. NXB TG. Ha NQi, 1994.
C H U O N G 3: Cac If t huy et tiep can ca nhan trong t h a m van t am If | 129

d u g c n u o i of cac nha tre m o coi co m u c cham soc d u n g dan ve y te

va ve th e ch at n h u n g co m u’c k ich th ich xa h<?i th ap (thieu van g
n gu d i ch am soc tin h th an ) cho th a y tre lota len tro n g dieu kien
n ay k h o n g to dau h ieu b at th u d n g tro n g it nhat 3 th a n g dau ddi.
C h u n g k h o e de dirge chu y, m im cirdi va p h at h ien ra am th an h
kh i th a y co b ao m au, nep vao n gu di hQ kh i d u gc be. N h u n g tron g
6 th a n g tiep sau do, h an h vi cua ch u n g th a y doi. C h u n g tr d nen it
k h o e, it p h a t am , k h o n g nep vao n gu di co b ao m au kh i dirge be, to
ra th d o va k h o n g q u a n tam den giao tiep xa h gi. C h u n g gap kho
k h a n tro n g viec tao ra cac quan he ca n h an gan gu i v a co xu
h ird n g tach b ie t k h d i xa h Q i .

C ac ket q u a n g h ien cun ve quan he m e - con tren d g n g v a t b ac

ca o v a n g u d i rut ra ran g tre nho tu n g bi th ieu h y t giao tiep xa hgi
(ch u yeu vd i n g u d i m e) neu kh on g d u gc th am van , tri h eu thi se
bi t y t h au ve tri tu e, kh o hoa nhap xa hQi, th y d g n g , n gon ngu"
k e m p h a t trien v a h a y co n h u n g van de h a n h v i nhir h ieu dQng
q u a m u’c h o a c co tin h h ieu chien. Q ua trin h th a m van vd i cac th an
ch u co roi lo a n x u c cam va h an h vi ddi h oi n h a th a m va n phai cd
n h u n g h ieu b ie t v e p h a t trien tam li n g u d i q ua cac giai doan. D ac
b ie t, n am d u g c m u c dQ g i n bo cua th an ch u v d i ngirdi th an tir
th d i th o au de co p h iron g p h ap tiep can tri lieu cho p h u hQp vd i
n h u n g trieu ch u n g cu a th an chu h ien thdi.

Pierre Janet
4. Thuyet ton thitong tam li
(1859-1947)
T o n th iro n g tam li d cac ca nhan xuat
hien sau khi hQ trai qua h o a c ch u n g kien
mQt s y k ien gay tir vong, cd nguy cQ tu 1
vong h o a c gay ton th iron g nghiem trQng,
h o a c de d o a den tinh toan ven ve mat the
chat cu a ban th a n ca nhan h o a c n gu d i
k h a c va p h a n u n g ngay lap tu*c cu a ca
nhan la b ie u hien cua s y sQ hai du dQi, s y
vo VQng h o a c kinh h o a n g 1. www.hipnosisclinica.biz
C a c th u a t ngir n h u “sa n g ch an tam li”,

■Nguyen Vi£t, Tam than h<?c, Nxb Y hQe, Ha N 91,1984.

 G I A O TR'INH T H A M V A N T A M LI
130

“roi loan tam li sau sang chan”, “trang thai stress sau sang ch an ”,
“hQi chting stress sau sang chan”, “nhieu tam sau sang chan deu
la cac cach gQi khac nhau cua khai niem “Ton thtfOng tam li”.
Khai ni?m n M m chi mQt hoac mQt loat cac tac nhan ben ngoai
tac dQng den ca nhan va gay ra roi nhieu tam li sau do.

V a n d'e to n thtfOng tam li 0 con ngtfdi da dtfQc n g h ien ctiu tti

cuoi th e ki X IX vd i n hting phat hien cu a ca c n h a tam th an hQC
tren cac b en h n h an b i tai nan lao dQng, h o a c ch tin g k ien tai nan
dan den n h ieu ta m gan lien vd i sti k h iep sQ la m su y nhtfQc than
kin h . N h a ta m th an hQC ngtfdi Dtic H erm an O p p e n h e im (18 8 4 ) la
ngtfdi d au tien sti d u n g th u at n g ti n h ieu tam sau sa n g ch an de chi
n hting roi n h ieu ta m li d nhting b en h n h an n ay.

Cac nha tam than hQC

cuoi the k y X IX deu xem stf
ton thtfOng tam li nhtf la hau
qua ctia mQt cti soc tam li hoac
mQt stf kien gay sang chan tam
li do ca nhan da trai qua hoac
chting kien. V ao thdi ki nay hQ
da chi ra nhting bien hien ctia
ton thtfOng tam li nhtf: co cam
giac lo au thtfdng xuyen va
khiep sQ phai doi dien vdi
nhting kich thich gay ra, roi
loan giac ngti kem theo nhting
cOn ac mQng, de xtic dQng, sQ hai, thtfdng xuyen giat m inh, de cau
gat, qua canh giac va thu m inh, h ay khoe, h ay nhtic dau, gap kho
khan trong cac m oi quan he xa hQi, giam hting thu trong cuqc

song, giam kha nang lam viec, dau hieu tram cam , sQ khoang
trong, h oang ttfQng, luon co cam giac met mdi.
C ac b a c si ta m th a n th tfd n g co k h u yn h h tfd n g m o ta cac sang
ch an d ac h ieu , vi du n h tin g trai n gh iem tro n g ch ien tra n h , tron g
cac trai tap tru n g , cac v y ctfdng btic tin h due, cac th a m hQa dan
sy , xa m h^i tre em ... nhtf nhting van de tach b iet. C hi d en nhting
C H U O N G 3: Cac li t huy et tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am If 131

th ap n ien cu oi th e k y X X ngirdi ta m di n han ra n h ieu d ac diem

ch u n g cu a cac tin h tran g n a y 1.

T h u at ngir ton thtfOng T6n thipomg the chat

tam li Tan dau tien dirge
Pierre Jan et sir d yn g vao
n am 1919 trong tac pham
“Sir d y n g th u oc tam li”.
Theo tac gia, s y ton thirong
tam li giong nhtf stf khiep
sQ do ca nhan phai trai qua
mQt tai nan hoac mQt cuqc

tan cong cd hoac khong cd

www. t r auma . 0r 2
stf ton thtfOng cQ the. No
cung co the la hau qua cua mQt cu soc tam li do ca nhan bi lam dyng
tinh dye hoac bi ctfdng dam hoac loan luan, cung cd the la ket qua
cua vi£c ca nhan chung kien cai chet hoac canh bao ltfc tan nhan
dan den cai chet cua mQt ngtfdi. Ve mat tri?u chung lam sang, theo
P. Janet, stf ton thtfOng tam li d mQt ca nhan thtfdng co nhirng tri<?u
chung lam sang nhtf suy nhtfQc than kinh va tam than, run chan tay,
cang trtfOng ltfc co, mat cam giac, li£t hoac sQ hai, am sQ, roi nhieu
hanh vi. Dac bi<?t P. Janet nhan manh den stf lap di lap lai nhieu Ian
cua mQt so tri<?u chung, nhtf con ac mQng, y ttfdng cAm chot, khong
the quen dtfQc nhtfng stf ki<?n gay sang chan, nhtfng y nghia va hanh
dQng gan lien vdi stf kien gay sang chan tai hi£n nhieu Tan trong dau,
stf bien doi nhan cach theo chieu htfdng thu minh lai. Tac gia xem
day la nhtfng tri?u chung cho thay mQt stf ton thtfOng tam li r 5 nhat
d mQt ca nhan2.
N gtfd i co co n g p h a t trien kh ai ni<?m to n thtfOng ta m li th a n h
th u y e t to n thtfOng ta m li la S. Freud. T ro n g n gh ien cun cua m inh,
o n g q u a n ta m d en stf tai h i?n trd lai tro n g nao nhtfng y nghi, hinh
an h, y ttfd n g, n htfn g cam xu c lo hai nhtf kh iep sQ, lo au, xau ho

1 Nguyen Minh Tien. Roi loan stress sau sang chan, www.tamlytrilieu.com.
: Onno Van der Hart. Ph.D. & Barbara Friedman. M A , M.F.C.C.: .4 Reader’s
Guide To Pierre Janet: .4 Neglected Intellectual heritage, www.trauma-
pages.com.
132 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

k h o n g th e n ao ctfdn g lai kh i chu th e ch tin g k ien stf k ien g a y sang

ch an. F reu d (19 16 ) chi ra rang d n h u n g b en h n h an n h ieu tam , hQ
bj cam ch o t va o giai d oan x a y ra san g ch an ta m li. H q lu o n m o
th a y can h g a y ra sa n g ch an tam li. N h u n g co n h y ste rie d hQ
k h o n g gQi la i to a n bQ h o a n can h sa n g ch an , m a co n cu n g co l$i
n h u n g ch i tie t x a y ra tro n g tin h h u o n g do. S y cam ch o t va o thdi
d iem x a y ra sa n g ch an ta m li dirge S. F reu d g ia i th ich b d i s y sQ
hai du" d g i k h i ca n h a n doi m at vd i tin h h u o n g n g u y h iem , n h at la
tro n g tin h h u o n g ca n h an k h o n g dirge ch u an bj.
Ly thuyet ve s y ton thiTQng tam li dUQc nha phan tam hgc ngtfdi
A o Otto Fenichel trong cuon "Li thuyet phan tam h gc v'e nhieu tam"
(1945) da dtfa ra ba dau hieu cQ ban ve stf ton thirong tam li d ca
nhan. Thir nhat la stf phong toa hoac giam hoat dQng cua cai toi,
dieu nay lam nay sinh nhtfng hien ttfQng gay han, hanh vi phu thuQC
va thai dQ tuyet vQng; thu* hai la khting khoang cam xuc gan chat vdi
tinh huong gay ra stf lo hai hoac tu t gian; thir ba la trieu chung lap
di lap lai. Dieu nay dan den trang thai thtic dem , m at ngti do trong
nao tai tao lai mQt each logic stf kien gay sang chan. Cac bieu hien
nay la tiem an ctia trieu chting hysterie.
H<?i chting stress sau sang chan la thu at ngti chi sir ton
thtfOng tam li ctia ca nhan do phai trai qua h o ac chting kien mQt
stf kien anh htfdng den stf song ctia m inh h oac ngtfdi khac. No
thtfdng g in vd i stf sQ hai dti d<?i, stf vo vQng, kin h hoang do chien
tranh, dQng dat, lu lut, khung bo, li hon, H IV /A ID S , tai nan giao
thong, lam dung tre em, bao ltfc gia dinh.v.v... Hau qua cua viec
trai qua nhting stf kien nay la sQ hai, lo au, bu on chan, tram cam,
giat m inh, ac mQng, kho ngti, ngti k h on g yen, thai dQ phu thuQC,
bi am anh, h an h vi thoai trien (vi du nhtf dai Jam d nhting tre da
biet ttf di v? sinh), kho tap trung, giam kha nang hQe tap. lam
vi^c, tranh giao tiep va cac tac dQng tti ben ngoai, tan g ctfdng
hanh vi h u n g hang, stf buQC tQi ban than, hanh vi it m ang tinh
nhan van, qua canh giac, khong co kha nang yeu m en ngtfdi khac
hoac yeu m en ban than, mQt so ngtfdi cdn co hanh vi an cAp. lam
dung rtfQu va thieu stf co ket trong nhom nho. T ron g do bieu hien
ro nhat la cac cam xtic m anh, tieu circ, nhtf sg hai, lo lin g , buon,
ttic gian, ghen tuong, that vQng.
C HL f ON G 3: Cac If t huy et tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am li | 133

Ton thirang tam li do dong d§t

Trong khi nhitng vet thwang the xac do tran dQng dat ngay 12/5/2009 & Tit
Xuyen dang dan lien, thi cac ton thwang tam li dd khien cau be 13 tuoi ten
Litu gan nhit mac chitng tram cam. Li Phuc Hong, mQt giao sW tam li, ngW&i
tinh nguyen di xe han 300km t&i viing tham hoa, de trd chuyen v&i Litu. Ong
do danh cau be, deem kela i nhitng gi da xay ra khi em thoat khdi dong donat
tit ngoi trw&ng bi do sap tai thanh pho Mien True, ong co thuyet phuc em
nhac di nhac lai cum tit: “Nhitng gi toi te nhat dd qua, titcrng lai se tot dep
han, tdi cdn phai manh me”. Cau be dd gap may khi dwac giup da ve tam li.
Cac doi ngu giao sW, nha tam li hoc, tam than hgc va tw van tinh nguyen nhw
Li Phuc Hong dd den nhitng khu vitc chiu anh hw&ng nang ne nhat cua dQng
dat de giup da va chia se noi dau v&i ngW&i cdn song sau tham hoa. Khong it
chuyen gia canh bao, ton thwang tam than se cd the day rat nhieu ngW&i cdn
song lam vao canh song dd chet da.
Dem toi la ac mong v&i ngw&i linh gia Lac Thien Quy. Ong thw&ng xuyen rai vao
tinh trang mat kiem soat tren giw&ng benh, mat ma tritng tritng, mieng la het:
‘Toi la ngweri toi te”. Ong Lac, 57 tuoi, bj chon vui trong nha cua ong, ong van
song nhwng bi gay xitOng dui, xwang sW&n. Cai tran, ngW&i dam md hoi, ong
Lac nhin len tran nha lam bam: “Chay, chay nha”. MQt trong nhitng ngw&i than
cua ong ke, ong tWng trai qua tran hod hoan. Ben canh giw&ng, va va con gdi ong
conam tay cha, chiec tivi dwac treo dau giw&ng benh va khong m& de’ tranh cho
ong phai nghe va nhin nhwng tin tWc ve tran dong da't.

Ha Tuyet Anh, be gdi chin tuoi. da dwac cha me dwa ve nha de chitng kien
canh do nat. Ho hy vong se giup em ddi mat v&i nhwng chan thwang tam li
sau tran dong dat. (Theo VietNamNet, 28-05-2008, anhAP). __________
13 4 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

Khi noi ve hpi chufng ton thircfng tam li sau dong dat, M etin
Basoglu, phy trach nghien cun chan thirong tam li tai H qc vien
Tam than hQC London, ngirdi da co kinh nghiem tri lieu cho cac
benh nhan sau hai tran dQng dat lam 19.000 ngirdi thiet m ang tai
Tho N hi ki (1999) cho rin g 80% ngirdi cdn song se phai ddi mat
vdi cac h<?i chutig ton thirong tam li ngan hoac dai han. MQt nira
trong so nay se chju nhi'eu van d'e dai dang nhir am anh, ac mQng,
hoi tirdng, m at cam giac, khong hung thu cuqc song, cau kinh,
giam tri nhd, than trQng qua dQ... Trong do, sQ hai la van de
nghiem trQng va pho bien nhat, Basoglu cho r in g rat nhi'eu ngirdi
se luon song trong cam giac sQ hai trong mQi hoat dQng ciia hQ
sau khi xay ra dQng dat, ke ca luc ngii, luc tim h ay tham chi di
qua mQt toa nha. Ong noi, bien phap hun hieu nhat la dQng vien
nan nhan doi m at vdi sQ hai, va truyen tai cac thong diep gian
don qua sach bao, truyen hinh, radio. Ong k h in g dinh: MChi khi
hQ chien th in g noi sQ hai ciia chinh m inh, thi mQi hQi chung ton
thirong tam than m di bien m at” .

V iec c it dut hoac mat h in s y ho trQ xa hQi dirdng nhir la mQt

nguyen nhan quan trQng ciia viec mat kha n in g khac p h yc cac anh
hirdng ciia sang chan. Can thiep b in g tham van ngay nhirng giai
doan dau ciia ton thirong tam li da ngan chan, han che nhirng roi
nhieu tam li cho nhieu tre em. Dong thdi, s y can thiep theo tirong
tac van hoa co the giup benh nhan phat trien nghi lye va cac ki
nang doi pho vd i khiing hoang - da giup cho nhi'eu tre em tranh
dirge hQi chung sang chan tam li sau khiing hoang.

II. M 0 T SO PH l/O N G PHAP TIEP CAN THAN CHU

TRON G TH AM VAN

G abbarb (1995) cho rin g , ke tir khi Phan tam hQe phat trien
den nay da cd 450 loai lieu phap tam li ra ddi. T u y nhien cac nha
tam li hQC, cac nha tham van hay tri lieu tam li van cho rang chi
co 4 hoac 5 dinh hirdng tiep can chinh, ma tron g no bao chira hau
het tat ca cac lieu phap tam li khac. Do la tiep can Tam dQng hQC
diTQc dai dien bd i cac li thuyet ve Phan tam hQe; trirdng phai
N han van - Hien sinh m a dai dien ciia no la tham van than chii -
C H U O N G 3: Cac li t huyet tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am If 135

trQng tam ; trtfdng phai Nhan thtic vdi lieu phap thtfdng diTQc
n h ic den la nhan thtic, xtic cam - li tri (thuan ly), trtfdng phai
Hanh vi vdi cach tiep can hanh vi mdi, va cuoi cting la tiep can da
van hoa vdi phtfOng phap triet trung. Ddi vdi than chti, sti Itfa
chQn hinh thtic tham van tam li nao phy thuQC vao sd thich ca
nhan, thdi gian va tien b<ic. Cd nhting lieu phap m ang lai ket qua
tuyet vdi cho ngtfdi nay nhtfng lai that bai hoan toan vdi ngtfdi
khac. Vi vay kho co the noi lieu phap tam li nao la tot nhat.

Theo J. G odefroid (1987)1, cac

Thao luan tinh huong
phtfOng phap tiep can- than chu ke
tren co the phan thanh hai nhom ldn. Ban nghi gi ve khia canh
Dd la: phtfOng phap tiep can nQi tam dao du'c trong mot luan
va phtfOng phap tiep can ting xti. van tot nghiep ve chuyen

PhtfOng phap tiep can nQi tam dtfa nganh tham van ma chi
vao nguyen li cho rSng hanh vi ting xti su dung quan diem cua

khong binh thtfdng la do stf giai ma mot hoc thuyet tiep can

sai ctia con ngtfdi ve nhting tinh cam, dan le de phan tich mot

nhting nhu cau, nhting dQng c 0 ben ti'Udng hap roi loan tam

trong ctia niinh. Do do m uc dich cua ly nao do?

phtfOng phap tiep can nay la tac dQng

vao cac qua trinh nhtf tri giac, ttf duy, nhu cau, dQng cQ, xtic cam,
tinh cam ... cua than chti, de than chti cd the thay doi nhting hanh
vi ting xti nham thich nghi vdi hoan canh song cua hQ. Tiep can
nQi tam bao gom cac phtfOng phap nhtf: phan tam hQe cti va mdi,
than chu trQng tam , cau true va phtfOng phap tiep can nhan thtic
nhan thtic, xtic cam - li tri... Trong khi phtfOng phap tiep can ting
xti xuat phat tti nguyen li cho rang mQi hanh vi ting xti deu do tap
n h iim , hQC hoi tti dieu kien khach quan ben ngoai. M uc dich ctia
phtfOng phap nay la nha tham van sti dung nhting ki thuat dieu
kien hoa hoac gid i th ie u mau hanh vi nham thay the mQt hanh vi
khong thich im g bang mQt hanh vi khac, cho phep than chu hoat
dQng thich hQp hon. N h tf v£y, phtfOng phap tiep can ting xti chi

1 J. Godefroid, Les chemins de la psychologie (Nhung con dutfng tam li. tap 3), NXB
Piere Mardaga liege - Bruxelles. 19S- . Ban dich do B/S Tran Di Ai chu bien. Tu sach
NT. Ha Noi. 1998.
136 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M Li

duy nhat tim cach th ay doi ho§c lam m at di nhtfng ufng xtf, hanh
vi dtfQc xem la khong thich im g cua than chu, m a khong quan
tam nhieu den cac qua trinh tam li ben trong cua than chu.

l . Tiep ca n ta m dQng h.QC

Tiep can tam dQng hQe dtfQc khdi xtfdng bdi Phan tam hQe
cua Sigm und Freud (sau nay dtfQc gQi la phan tam hQC cu) va cac
trtfdng phai phan tam hQC m di do cac tac gia nhtf A lfred Adler,
Carl Jung, H arry Stack Sullivan, Otto Rank, W ikhem Reich,
M elanie Klein, H einz Kohut va M argaret M ahler d$i dien. Theo
G oldenson (1984), cac tiep c&n tam dQng hQC deu cd diem chung
la giai thich dQng cQ thuc day ben trong cua than chu, nhan m$nh
vai trd cua y thirc va vo thifc den hanh vi ca nhan va anh htfdng
cua qua khir trong viec hinh thanh va quyet dinh nhan cach cua
ca nhan.
Sigm und Freud (1856 - 1939) la
ngtfdi khdi xtfdng va dat nen m ong Sigmund Freud
cho phan tam hQe. M o hinh phan tam (1856 - 1 9 3 9 )

dtfQc S. Freud trien khai tir 1880 den

1930. PhtfOng phap tiep c£n tam dQng
hQe nay cho rang nhan cach cua moi ca
nhan dtfQc hinh thanh tir nang ltfc cua
moi ca nhan va nhung trai nghiem tir
thdi th o au, tir trong qua khir. Tiep can
Phan tam cua Sigm und Freud theo
khuynh htfdng sinh hQe, ban nang va
dQng cQ vo thirc (Tam li hQC vo thirc).
Trong khi phan tam hQe m di hien nay
(Eirk Eirkson va nhieu tac gia theo www.bu.edu
quan diem phan tam ) lai nhan manh
den yeu to van hoa, yeu to xa hQi va stf phat trien cua y thirc. ciia
viec ca nhan hoa cai toi (Tam li hQC y thirc).
T h e o F reu d , nhtfng h a n h vi cua mQt ca n h an la ket q u a ciia
n htfng m i u h a n h v i th o au va co n gu on goc vo thirc. T h o n g qua
cac m oi q u a n h e v d i nhtfng ngtfdi k h ac tro n g th d i th o au m a
C H U O N G 3: Cac If t huy et tiep can ca nhan trong t h a m van t am If 137

chung ta hoc dirge nhim g cach thtic de thoa man nhting nhu cau
ban nang. Neu moi ca nhan khong hQe du gc cach thoa man
nhting nhu cau ban nang tti thdi au th o thi ca nhan se co nhting
roi nhieu tam li d tuoi trudng thanh. N h u v£y, ban chat ctia tiep
c£n phan tam gitip con ngtfdi lui lai qua khti, tim lai nhting c<?i re
vo thtic ctia cac van de gay ra roi loan d hien tai, nham giai phdng
nhting cam xtic tieu c u t cd lien quan va/ hoac loai trti cac trieu
chting tam benh.
M y c dich cua tri heu phan tam la lam cho cai khong cd y thtic
trd thanh cai cd y thtic. Hay cd the dien giai nom na la: dtfa cai vo
thtic trong bong toi ra anh sang de y thtic ve no cho ro rang. Nha
tham van gitip than chti tap trung vao sti kien xay ra trong qua
khti de dong stf kien an nhap vdi van de dang xay ra d hien tai.
V£y la, nhting hanh vi hien tai bat thtfdng cd the la hau qua ton
dgng trong vo thtic tti qua khti bi don nen. Thong qua qua trinh
tri lieu, than chti kham pha song song gitia nhting s y kien qua
kh ti va nhting trai nghiem hien tai cua hg va qua dd gitip hp cd
cach hieu m di. Dd la nen tang ctia sti thay doi nhan cach. Tiep c£n
phan tam tap trung nhieu vao cau trtic lai nhan cach h o n la giai
quyet nhting van de trtfdc mat.

Cac khai niem chinh ctia tri lieu phan tam la: ban nang xung
dgng, ban nga va sieu nga; cac qua trinh vo thtic; cac ccf che
phdng ve cai tdi, sti chong doi, lien ttfdng ttf do va stf chuyen dich
la nhting khai niem trQng tam trong hoc thuyet phan tam va cd
vai trd quan trQng trong cong tac tham van. Nhting ki thuat quan
trQng gom: duy tri khung phan tich van de, tti do lien ttfdng, phan
tich cac giac m o, dien dich thong tin, phan tich stf chong doi va
phan tich stf chuyen dich. Dtfdi day la nhting giai thich ve cac
khai niem cQ ban ctia phan tam hQC (Theo J. Godefroid, 1987; G.
Corey, 1991; E. N eu krug 1999; K. G eldard & D. G eldard, 2000 ).

- C a u tru e cu a n han cach

F reu d ch o ran g ca n h an co b a h e th o n g n h an cach. Do la b an

n a n g x u n g dQng, b an n ga va sieu n ga va chting dtfQc p h a t trien
d a y du va o lu c n am tu oi.
138 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M U

Ban nang xung dong (Id) la bam sinh, khong bj kiem che va
thuoc ve vo thufc. Theo S. Freud, khi m di sinh ra, tam tri con
ngirdi chi la m ot binh chira dung cac xung nang va ban nang
nguyen thuy thuc day con ngirdi hoat dong nham thoa man
nhung ham m uon vo thufc, dtfpc goi la "Cai ay" hay "Cai nd”. Ban
nang hudng cO the tdi viec dap ung nhu cau ma khong de y den
nhung nguyen tac va chuan mtfc cua xa hoi- V i du n h u dua tre
(doi khi xuat hien ca d vi thanh nien) doi hoi cha m e dap ufng vo
bd ben nhung thu" ma hoan canh gia dinh hay dieu kien song
khong cho phep - M ot stf ddi hoi "khong biet dieu".

Ban nga (Ego) cdn goi la "Cai Tdi". Cai Tdi bieu hien thtfc te
ve the gidi m a dura tre phai dtftfng dau. Cai Tdi bi dieu khien bdi
nguyen tac hien thtfc. "Cai Tdi" xuat hien vdi vai trd la tim kiem
nhtfng cach suy nghi, ung xtf thich hop va an toan de tao nen sir
can bang gitfa cac nhu cau cua ban nang va ltfOng tam ciia sieu
nga, nham dap im g cac doi hoi cua xa hoi, tir dd hinh thanh stf ttf
chu d tre. N htf vay, "Cai Toi" luon vira co gang lien he vdi the gidi
m ot cach h o p li va cd li tri, lai vira no ltfc kiem che "Cai Nd".

Sieu nga (Super Ego), hay "Sieu Toi", bao gom y thirc va
nguyen tac dao dire cua ca nhan. Nd cung kiem che "Cai Nd" va co
gang th ay the hanh vi co li tri ciia "Cai tdi" ban g hanh vi mang
tinh dao dire. Cai "Sieu Tdi" dtfdc hinh thanh vao nhtfng nam cuoi
cua giai doan trtfdc tuoi di hoc. Tai thdi diem nay, tre da bien cac
quy tac va cac gia tri ciia cha me, ciia xa hoi thanh m ot phan
trong cai ban nga cua m inh. Tre hoc hoi de hoan thien nhan each
cua m inh theo cac vai trd xa hoi.

Theo Freud, cam xuc m anh va cac quan he thdi nien thieu co
anh htfdng quan trong doi vdi stf phat trien ciia con ngtfdi. N hung
xung dot trong qua khir cd the bi gat ra khdi y thtfc nhtfng van co
anh htfdng tdi ddi song ciia con ngtfdi. Nhtfng xung dot vo thirc
dac thu cd the gay ra nhtfng roi loan thtfc the ttfpng trtfng cho
nhtfng xung dot tam li bi don nen ben trong.
 C H U O N G 3: Cac If t huy et tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am If 139

Ddi nam n ir ngoi Sn t6i vdi nhau

trong mdt qudn tho m0ng bdn h6. Anh ta
la hi$n thdn cua "Cdi Tdi”, ngSm nhin cd
gdi vd khdng ngdt thi th£m khen cd dep
"Cdi Nd" vdi khSn choang dd dung trong
cdc tr$n dau bd tdt dang gdy dp ii/c len
"Cdi Tdi" bSng cdch thi thcim xui give anh
ta c&m tay cd gdi, dm hdn cd vd muon
nhieu hern nua "Cdi Sieu Tdi" vdi khSn
chodng trSng thanh thidn luon nhde nhd
ben tai anh ta rdng: "Hay Id mQt ngudi
lich si7, hay Id ngudi cd gido due". Cd gdi
nhin chdng trai than thd rdng ngudri ban
gdi cung phdng may hom nay ve que lam
cd thay trong trai trong Idng... Chang trai
dua cd gdi ve nhd vd ndn lai qua d§m vi
khdng nd de cd mdt minh.
Cdu chuyen cho thSy s i/ tuong tdc
phuc tap cua cdi Nd, cdi Tdi, cdi Sieu Tdi
vd co chd phdng ve trong mdi cd nhdn

Cau true cua nhan cach theo quan diem cua S. Freud dtfgfc
m inh hQa qua cau chuyen ve ban chat bi che giau cua dan ong va
p h y nti 0 tren (dtfgfc chim g toi phong tac dtfa theo y ttfcfng ciia E.
N eukrug) cho thay stf phtfc tap trong m oi quan he gitfa nhtfng
ban nang xung dgng, m ang tinh vo thtic ctia sti ham m uon vdi
nhting bieu hien hanh vi ben ngoai cd tinh y thtic ctia nhting hanh
vi theo chuan mtfc, duVc xa hgi chap nh^n. Dieu nay doi hoi nha
tham van phai nhan biet dtfgfc nhting dQng ltfc chinh la nguyen
nhan thtic day hanh vi ciia than chti. Qua do m di cd the gitip than
chii nhin nhan dim g van de ciia m inh, va nhtf vay m di de ra dtfgfc
phtfcrng an giai quyet phii hQp.
- C d c g ia i d o a n p h a t trien tam sin h due
T heo Freud, stf hinh thanh va phat trien ctia cai Nd, cai Tdi,
"The Ego and the Id (1923)", cai Sieu Tdi trai qua nam giai doan
khac nhau, trong dd anh htfdng nhieu nhat la trong nam nam dau
tien ctia cugc ddi con ngtfdi, vdi ba giai doan phat trien dau tien.
Dd la giai doan mdi m igng, giai doan hau mon va giai doan dtfong
v£t. Cac giai doan phat trien tiep sau nhtf giai doan tang an va giai
 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U
14 0

doan sinh due chi la su" phan anh tiep theo cua cac giai do?m trtfdc
va it co anh hirdng den su1phat trien nhan cach ca nhan.
• G ia i d o a n m di m ien g - tit o tu oi den 1,5 tuoi: Tron g giai
doan nay vung nhay cam tinh dye cua dtia tre la m oi mieng.
S u khoai cam cua tre dupe tiep nhgn thong qua bu va an.
V iec cai stia, bu binh va thtic an co the anh hirdng ldn den
. cam giac ctia dtia tre ve ban than, v'e sti tin tirdng va an toan
trong cac tiep xuc vdi the gidi ben ngoai sau nay ctia tre.
• G ia i d o a n hau m on - k h o a n g tit 1 den 3 tuoi: G iai doan ma
su1k h o a i ca m ctia tre the h ien d sti b ie t di va la m chu viec di
ve sinh . S y p h a t trien tam li ctia tre lien q u a n d en v ie c cha
m e d a y tre b ie t tir chti viec di ve sin h v a k h a n a n g kiem soat
d u p e ta c dQng ctia m di tru d n g x u n g q u a n h ctia ch u n g.
• G ia i d o a n ditefng v a t - k h o a n g tit 3 d en 5 tuoi: T ro n g giai
d oan n a y tre nhd cam nhan sir k h o a i cam q u a cQ q u an sinh
due, q u a stf ttf kich thich, dQng ch am v a cd stf d am m e vdi
cac h o a t dQng th e xac. T am li ctia tre cd th e bi ta c dQng bdi
n h tin g cam d oan m an g tin h dao dtic ctia ch a m e.
• G ia i d o a n an tang - k h o a n g g iita 5 tu o i d en k h i d ay thi:
D ay la giai doan chuan bi cho s y tru dn g th an h ctia tre nen it
xay ra stf phat trien vd i tre.
• G ia i d o a n sin h due: Trong suot giai doan cuoi cim g nay tre
dan phat trien vdi nhting bieu hien la ngudi ldn vdi nhting
hanh vi vd thtic va cd y thtic.
- B a n n a n g vd cd c qua trin h vd th itc
F reu d tin ra n g cd b an n an g so n g v a b a n n a n g ch et. Ban nang
so n g b ao g o m tat ca n h tin g xu n g n a n g ctia mQt n g u d i n h u doi,
k h a t v a h o a t dQng tin h due (L ib id o). B an n a n g so n g h u d n g hanh
vi v e n h tin g h o a t dQng ton tai, tich cue. T ro n g kh i dd b an nang
ch et th e h ien n h tin g h a n h vi h u d n g den sir p h a h iiy v a tieu diet
b an th an . V i du, kh i co n n g u d i k h o n g th e ch iu d im g d u g c nhting
stf sQ hai, noi dau, stf th a t bai... hQ de bi th u c d a y b d i mQt xung
n an g h u y h oai, h tfd n g td i stf p ha h u y b an th an . B an n a n g chet
gitip giai th ich h a n h vi tu" tti ciia ca n han. Ddi k h i b an n a n g chet
C H U O N G 3: Cac li t huy et tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am If 14 1

th e h ien d v ie c ca n h an ch u yen nhirng cam g ia c h u y dipt b an than

ra b en n goai, hirdng vao n gu di kh ac, gay ton thUOng den n gu di
k h a c de tru t b o n h u n g s g hai, can g thang.
Theo Freud, cac qua trinh vd thirc xay ra do ket qua xung dpt
giua ban nang xung dong va sieu nga. Vi dy trong thdi th o au, s y
xuat hien cua dira em khien dira tre cam thay bi “ra ria”. Ban nang
xu ng dong cd the "xui bay" dira tre cd m ong m uon lam hai em
(m uon dira em khdng cd tren ddi, hoac m ong cho nd chet...).
N hung sieu nga m ach bao la dieu cam ky, khdng d u gc nghi nhu
vay. N eu th y c te xay ra nhu m ong muon cua tre, dira be cd the trd
nen au lo, cd the xuat hien d dira tre “m §c cam giet em ”. Dira tre
cd the bj rdi nhieu tam li. Nd cung cd the thoat khdi tinh tr^ng
nay b an g m ot hanh vi gay han ho^c lan tranh vao m ot hoat dong
kh ac cd the d u gc ho§c khong dugc xa hoi chap nhan, ho§c xuat
hien d dira tre cac cO che t y ve.
- C d c ccf ch e p h d n g ve ca i toi
S y t y chii cu a con n gu d i lu on cd gid i han . K hi con n gudi
k h d n g cdn dii k h a n an g kiem soat hiru hieu m ot so tin h h u o n g
cu a cu o c son g, n h u n g cO che phdng ve se la n h u n g ch ien lu g e cho
p h e p b a n n ga b u trOr s u b at lu c ciia m inh m ot cach vd thirc, b an g
cach la m g ia m th ie u stress va s y lo au kem th eo. N hirng cO che
p h d n g ve n a y th y c te n h am tao cho con n g u d i n h u n g k h o a i cam ,
d oi k h i th u c te n h u n g th u d n g la tu d n g tu g n g , h o a c xa v d i th y c te
ho£c p h u n h an th y c te, cac y n g h i va cac x u n g lu c g a y lo au (dan
th e o J. G o d e fro id , 19 8 7).
M gt so cac cO che phong ve pho bien n h u sU phu nhan; su
phdng chieu; s y h gp li hoa; s y thoai bo; s y thang hoa; s y dong
nhat hoa; s y bu trir; s y hinh thanh phan img. Cac co che phdng ve
nay luon ngan can m ot cach vd thirc nhung kha nang im g pho,
giai quyet cac van de thu c te ciia ca nhan. N ha tham van phai biet
nhu ng nguyen nhan xuat hien ciia cac co che nay de giup cho
than chu cd kha nang duong dau vdi cac s y kien, de pha bo chung
(xem them phan cac cO che phdng ve ca nhan trong chuon g 3)

1 The defense neuro - psychoses, The collected Papers in IOV.N.Y. Collier Book,
1963, V2.
 G I A O T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M LI
142

- C d c k i th u a t can thiep
P han tam hQC tru y en th o n g la mQt q u a trin h tap tru n g lau
dai tro n g do n ha tri lieu co g an g dtfa vo thu’c len b in h dien y thuc,
n gh ia la trQ g iu p th an chu h ieu n hting stic m a n h nQi tam , kiem
soat va lam chti h a n h vi ctia b an th an . V ie c n a y dUQc tien hanh
qua v ie c sti d u n g mQt lo a t nhting ki thu£t dtfdi day:
S i t d o n g c a m : V ie c sti d y n g ki n an g d o n g cam va l i n g nghe
tich eye ch o p h ep n h a th a m va n th iet lap m oi q u an h e chuyen
dich, tro n g k h i va n g iti dUQc k h o a n g each n h a t d in h tro n g moi
q u an h e th a m van .
P h a n t i c h s i t c h u y e n d ic h : M oi q u an h e ch u yen d jch xay
ra khi th an chti co th e p h o n g ch ieu n htin g d$c d iem ca n h an ciia
m in h len n h a tri lieu . D o la s y ch u yen doi vo th tic n h tin g cam xuc
va s y ttfd n g tUQng ctia th an chti len n ha th a m van . T h e o phtfOng
ph ap p h an tam , tro n g qua trin h th a m van , d th a n chii lu o n luon
xu at h ien n h tin g p h an ting x u c cam doi v d i n h a th a m van . Nha
th am v a n th u d n g dUQc d on g nhat vd i n g u d i n ao do la tru n g tam
ctia n h tin g x u n g dQt x u c cam tro n g q u a k h ti (th u d n g la cha me
h o a c n g u d i tin h ). P h an ting xtic cam n a y la s y ch u y en dich.
R aym o n d L lo yd R ich m o n d d ua ra mQt vi d y sau: C am xtic ciia
th an chti p h a tripn gitia yeu v a gh et m a th a n chti da trai nghiem
tro n g th d i th o au vd i b o m e, va th an chti cd th e b a t d au doi xti vdi
n ha tri lieu th eo n h tin g cam xtic nay, k h d n g p h u hQp v d i nhting gi
th tic su1x a y ra tro n g tri lieu tam li. T ro n g n h tin g tr u d n g hQp nhtf
vay, th a n chti can p h a i n h an b ie t ran g n h a tri lieu ta m li chi dang
lam co n g viec ctia hQ la dua n htin g cam xtic n a y ra anh sang; do la
cam xtic ctia th a n chti, kh d n g p h ai con n gtfdi ctia n h a tri lieu.
TtfQng ttf, th a n chti cd th e trd nen tin ran g n h a tri lieu cd nhting
kh a n a n g ca n h an de b u dap lai cam g ia c vd gia tri ctia th an chu,
va vi v a y th a n chti cd th e rat th ich, h a y th a m chi bi hap dan tinh
due. N h tf v a y q u a trin h tri lieu tam li se p h ai d oi m at - k h o n g phai
la stf h ap d an - m a la stf tro n g rd n g b en tro n g ciia th a n chii.
C h u ye n d ich tich ctfc x a y ra kh i nhting tin h cam yeu thtfOng
va stf kin h p h u c ctia th an chti htfd n g den nha th a m van . C hu yen
d ich tieu ctfc x a y ra khi th an chu co n hting tin h cam nhtf that
vQng, g ia n dti, xau ho, h ieu nham , cam g ia c vd gia tri, cam g ia c bj
ru o n g b o, stf th u d ich h oac do ki don len n ha th a m van , n h tf the
C H U O N G 3: Cac li t huyet tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am If 143

nha th a m va n la n gu yen nhan h ay doi ttfQng g a y ra n h im g cam

xu c tieu e ye nay. C on g viec cua n ha th am van la phai dieu ch in h
nhirng cam x u c n a y ciia th an chii. Do la mQt con g viec kh o khan
va co th e n g u y h iem do tin h de bj ton thtfOng ve xu c cam cua than
chii. T u y n h ien d a y la con g viec giu p nha th am van “p hien d ich ”
lai nhirng tin h cam ch u yen dich hien co b an g cach tim h ieu ngu on
goc, xu a t xir ciia ch u n g d nhtfng trai n gh iem th o au. V i du, tron g
q u a trin h tro ch u yen vd i nha th am van , th an chu cam th a y b on g
d a n g ngtfdi vQ da tirng "cAm sim g" m inh tro n g con ngtfdi ciia nha
th a m van . V i v a y anh ta da triit mQi h£n thu len n ha th am van
n h tf th e n ha th a m van la v q cua anh ta. Khi th an chu co the hieu
q u a trin h ch u y en d jch nay, nha trj lieu co th e lam san g to nhtfng
h ieu n h a m cu a th a n chii, lien he ch u n g vd i nhtfng m oi quan he
tro n g q u a kh ir ciia th an chii va phat hien ra nhtfng yeu to quan
trQng tro n g cac m di q u an he cd y n ghia q u yet din h d oi vd i stf cau
th a n h n h an cach h ien tai cua than chu.
C h u y e n d jch ngtfQc hi htfu cu ng cd the x a y ra kh i nhtfng cam
x u c vd th ifc, nhtfng x u n g dQt kh on g dtfQc h o a giai cua n ha th am
v a n p h d n g ch ieu len k h a ch han g cua m inh. V a nhtf th e n h a th am
v a n cd th e tr d nen gi£n dtf, lira doi, han hQC, th d 0 , h a y th a m chi
la n h y c d ye. N eu ch u yen d ich ngtfQc qua m an h liet, n ha tam li cd
th e p h ai ket th u c th a m van va ch uyen giao th an chu cho ngtfdi
k h a c, de b a o ve ch in h th an chu. V i d y , n ha th a m va n cam th ay
th a n chu h a n h xir g io n g nhtf mQt ngtfdi h a n g xom "d an g gh et" cua
m in h . Ddi k h i stf ch u yen dich ngtfQc la nhtfng tin h cam yeu
thtfOng, stf k in h p h y c ai do cua n ha th am v a n don len th a n chu,
n h tf cam th a y "yeu q u y dira tre" - th an chu, vi do la b o n g d an g cua
difa con da m at ciia m in h. N htfng dieu n a y ch ac ch an an h htfdng
td i tin h k h a ch q u an tro n g qua trin h th am van.
- L i e n t it & n g t i t d o : D ay la ki th u at sir d u n g n h am kh am
p h a vd thirc v a giai p h d n g nhtfng dieu bi don nen tro n g th an chu.
T h a n ch ii dtfQc k h u y e n kh ich b ieu 1q, dtfQc ttf do dien dat b an g ldi
mQt cach ttf n h ien n htfng dieu x a y ra tro n g qua kh ir h a y b at cir
d ieu gi xu a t h ien tro n g tam tri m a kh d n g can san g Iq c , kh d n g sQ
bi k ie m d u y et h a y p h a n xet b d i nha th am van. N htfn g stf lien
ttfd n g n h tf th e g iiip th an chii b a y to mQt cach ttf do n htfng h am
m u o n vd thirc v a nhtfng ki ire dau kh o do bi kim nen tro n g long.
14 4 G I A O T RI NH T H A M V A N T A M Li

D ieu n a y cho p h ep n h a trj li<?u hieu d u p e n h im g m oi q u an he

tro n g q u a kh u 1 da d in h htfd n g s y p hat trien n h an cach ciia than
chii ra sao. K i th u a t n a y k h ich 1£ th an chii k h a m p h a vo thirc,
diTOng dau vd i nhirng cam xu c bi don nen va giai p h o n g ch im g de
th iet lap lai cam x u c lan h m anh. N h d do cd th e khdi b en h .
- P h a n t i c h g i a c m o : F reud tin r in g g ia c mO la “con dudng
h u y h o a n g dan den vd thu’c ”. Do do, cac n h a p h an tich se xem xet
ca nQi d u n g h ien hi£n (ro ran g) ciia g ia c m o cu n g nhir y nghia
tiem ta n g (an g ia u ) ciia giac m o tro n g su1 co g a n g tim h ieu nhirng
h am m u o n vd th u ’c v a n h im g ki ire dau kh o do bi kirn nen. S.
F reu d ch o r in g kh i con ngirdi ngii, sieu thu'c cd v e yeu di trong
vi?c k iem d u ygt n h im g x u n g dQt, n h u n g vd thu'c k h d n g th e chap
nhan dtfQc. V i vay, nhtfng xu n g dQt do h a n g n g a y k h d n g dtfQc
b ieu 1q ra th i tro n g g ia c m o nd lai cd cQ hQi dtfQc p h a t trien . Tir do
n ha th a m van cd th e p h an tich giac m o cu a th a n ch u de li giai van
de hi£n tai cu a th a n chii. N h tf vay, vi£c dien giai g ia c m o ttf nd da
trd th a n h mQt lieu p h ap tro n g phan tam hQC.
- L i g i d i h a n h v i c h o n g d o i: T h in h th o a n g tro n g q u a trinh
lien ttfd n g ttf do, th an chu se bQC 1q n h im g h a n h vi m a n g tin h chat
ch on g doi. Stf ch o n g doi n a y n gan can k h d n g ch o n htfn g xu n g dQt
b i de n en b en tro n g bQC 1q ra n goai, th tfd n g la cd lien q u an den
kh o ai cam tin h due, cam giac th u d ich, p h in u a t vd i b o m e hoac
nhtfng cam x u c k h d n g dtfQc xa hQi tan d o n g .... F reu d d in h nghia
stf ch o n g ddi la “b a t cu1 dieu gi la m n g im g q u a trin h p h an tich ”,
nh tf la d en m uQn, v i n g m at b u o i n ao do h o a c ne tran h va n de nao
do. T h e o mQt n g h ia d o n gian v a thtfc te n h at, ch o n g doi la hau
q u a cu a stf sQ hai, th tfd n g la sQ p h ai doi m at v a ch oi b o cQn gian
dir la n an n h a n ciia ai. N h tf vay, ch o n g d oi la mQt cQ ch e th e hien
stf m ien ctfd n g ciia th a n chu doi vd i vi£c n h a n th u ’c v e nhtfng stf
ki£n, hi<?n ttfQng dtfQc ldi len tir vd thu'c. D ieu n a y k h ie n th an chii
cam th a y b a t on kh i n oi v e nd.
F reu d tin r in g th a n chii se p h at trien cac cQ ch e p h d n g v? va
b i t d au ch o n g la i vi£c chira tri khi hQ den gan h o n vd i cac va n de
thtfc stf ciia m in h . D o do, stf ch on g doi la mQt tin hi£u ch o nha
th am v a n b ie t ra n g mQt va n de d an g gia tan g va th a n chii d an g co
g a n g de tro n tra n h nd. V d i stf dieu chinh th an trQng ve th d i gian.
stf ch o n g d oi n h tf th e cd th e dtfQc li giai cho th an chii v a van de bj
C H U O N G 3: Cac If t huyet tiep can ca nhan trong t h am van t am If 145

che g ia u se dirge kh am pha ti mi. N ha th am van can phai tin h te

nhan ra va n de n ay khi than chu k h o n g m uon noi den no, lan g
tran h no. N h a th am van can phai pha vd sir ch o n g doi do de giu p
th a n chu doi m at vd i nhirng su y nghi cua m inh. D ay la mQt qua
trin h rat kh o kh an va doi hoi thdi gian. T u y n hien , L acan canh
b a o ch im g ta rang: N eu nha tham van th y c hi£n nhirng dien giai
h a y can th ig p kh d n g p h u hQp, than chii se p h d n g v£, va dieu dd se
lam gia n doan co n g vi£c th am van. Dieu n ay cd n gh ia la than chii
chi th eo th a m van khi hQ cam th ay th oai m ai. V i vay, nha tham
v a n p h ai lu on lu o n y thirc ve sir tinh tien ciia th an chii de kh on g
“d a y ” th a n chii q u a n h im g gidi han tam th di nay. N h im g cd g in g
th ie u th an trQng cd th e d a y than chii den cho ket th iic cuqc tham
v a n mQt cach ch o n g van h .
N h im g ki th u at can thi£p quan trQng cua p h an tam cd the
g iiip th a n chii h ieu dirge n gu yen nhan ciia cac rdi nhieu tam li,
g iiip th a n chii se cau true lai nhan cach ciia m inh tren n h im g dieu
ki<?n m d i. T h a m va n th eo quan diem F reud la nhan m an h den
vigc k h u y e n kh ich th an chii noi thoai m ai, nha th am van lan g
n gh e, roi giai th ich ch o th an chii. M oi quan h? th am van ket thiic
(th a n h co n g) kh i th a n chii nhan thu'c n h u n g dQng cQ an giau, khi
th a n ch ii b iet each lam the nao de dQng cQ n ay b ieu hi£n qua
n h im g m au h a n h vi v a tri?u ch im g ciia hQ va kh i th an chii da tao
ra s y th a y ddi d y a tren sir th au hieu van de qua khir tro n g lien
q u a n den th y c te h ien nay.
L y th u y e t p h an tam n han m anh den n h im g diem q u an trQng
ciia vd thirc nhir la mQt yeu to q uyet din h h a n h vi, lam ro n him g
tac dQng sau sac ve sir p hat trien tien au th o . V i vay, nd cd the the
g iiip th a y doi rat n h ieu p h am chat n h an cach, th a m chi con co the
xa y d im g lai to an bQ n h an cach ciia th an chii. NhitQc diem ciia
tiep can F reu d ch in h th o n g la coi trQng sire m an h b an nan g vd
thirc, tro n g kh i va n de ciia th an chii cdn lien q u an den cac m oi
q u a n h ? lie n ca n h a n . h a y n h im g ap lire m an h m e ciia xa h(n. M d
h in h tri lieu n a y d y a tren nen tan g ngh ien ciru ve lo an th a n kin h
chirc n a n g n en k h d n g d u n g cho ngirdi b in h thirdng. ngirdi co van
d e k h iin g h o a n g . h an ch e d im g vd i ngirdi th ieu sd va tro n g linh
v y c co n g ta c xa h<?i. T ie p can th eo quan diem p h an tam doi hoi
146 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

n ha th a m va n p h ai co kh a n an g p h an tich ta m li ch u y en sau de
g iu p th an chu y th u’c v'e n h im g roi lo an ta m li v o th u ’c cu a m inh.
D ich vu tri li£u n a y k h o n g co gid i han v'e m at th d i gian , it nhat
cu n g vai n am (m oi tu an tir 3 den 5 b u o i), co ca tri li£u tien hanh
tro n g nhi'eu n am d oi h oi th an chu phai co nhi'eu th d i gian va tien
bac. D ac bi£t no doi h oi th an chu p h ai la ngirdi noi n a n g liru loat,
co d$ng cQ ro r£t n h am d u y tri qua trin h th a m va n v a san sang
chiu sir chi p h oi cu a n ha th am van.

- P han tam m d i cu a A lfre d A d ler

(1870 - 1937) da p h at trien li th u yet Alfred Adler va
rien g cu a m in h b a n g cach thu hep d an g
Adlerian Individual
ke tam q u an trQng cua n h y c d ye, ciia
vo th u ’c tro n g sU p h at trien nhan cach. (1870 - 1937)
A. A d le r ch o r in g : C on n gu di bj chi
phoi bcfi ca c yeu to xa hQi hQn la yeu to
sinh hQe va b an ch at con n g u d i la tich
cue. C on n g u d i b ie t cach giai q u yet van
d'e cu a m in h mQt cach h ieu qua, tu* tao
cho m in h mQt cuqc so n g thu’c te chu"
k h o n g th u a n tu y bi 1£ thuQC vao tu oi
th o , q u a kh ir v a kin h n gh iem . Q u an
d iem cu a on g diTQc gQi la tru d n g phai
tiep can A d leria n .
T ru d n g p h ai A d le ria n cho rang:
w w w .trans 4mind.com
M u c d ich so n g cu a con n g u d i bi th u c
d ay bcri lQi ich xa h(n h o a c ca n han, con n g u d i co nhu cau sd him,
m u o n co d ia vi xa hQi cao... N h u n g d ieu n a y co anh h u d n g den
h an h v i cu a hQ. C h in h cam gia c v'e s u th a p k e m v'e b an th an la cQi
n gu o n th u c d a y s u co gan g, san g tao v a vUQn len. N h u vay, trong
tUQng ta c xa hQi, "y m u o n co q uyen lu c", h a y m ong muon to ra
hQn n g u d i ch in h la n h u n g x u n g nan g nen ta n g va la dQng luc
ch in h tro n g th ai dQ cU xir ciia m oi n gudi. V i v a y m u c tieu tham
va n va tri li? u la x o a b o n h u n g niem tin sai l£ch v'e cuqc so n g de
g iu p th a n chu p h a t trien n h u n g m at m anh, co ich. C ac m u c tieu
cu th e do la: g iu p th a n chii vUQt qua cam gia c h u t h an g: gat bo
n h u n g dQng cQ sai lam ; xem xet lai n h u n g gia th ie t cuqc song lgch
la c v a tim lg.i cam g ia c b in h d an g vd i mQi n gu d i.
C H l f O N G 3: Cac li th uye t tiep can ca nhan tron g tham van am 147

Theo K a th ry n G e ld a rd va D avid G e ld a rd (2 0 0 2 ), q u an
d ie m cu a A d le r ch o p h ep giai th ic h n h u n g h a n h v i th ie u tich
e y e cu a th a n ch u tro n g qua trin h th am van n h u n h u n g v y den
m uOn co h e th o n g , s y can h b ao v e k h a n a n g t y tir, n h u n g ld i
p h a n n a n la p di la p lai v'e tin h tra n g sire k h o e h a y ve mQt va n
d'e n a o do ch in h la nhirng ch ien th u a t m a th a n ch u d u n g de co
th e t y la m y e n lo n g m in h th o n g qua cach lo i k e o s y ch u y cua
n g u d i k h a c v a o s y q u an trQng h o a cu a ca n h a n m in h . D a y ch in h
la s y m d rQng y tu d n g v'e "m ac cam t y ti" - M a c ca m da th u c
g iy c ca n h a n co g a n g co mQt va i h o a t dQng de n g u d i k h a c thira
n h a n , ch u y d en m in h , n h am tro n tra n h th y c te k h o n g dUQng
d au dUQc cu a th a n ch u.
T rj H<?u A d le r ia n (p h ep trj li£u cu a A d le r) sir d y n g ca c k i
th u a t n h u k i th u a t q u a n ta m , k h u yen k h ic h , dUQng d au , d ien
g ia i n h o m g ia d in h , h o i tu d n g ki ire, am th i v a h o a n th a n h b ai
ta p d n h a. V a d u g c u n g d y n g tro n g g ia o d y e ; d jn h h u d n g loi
s o n g ch o tre; th a m vain q u a n h<? ch a m g - co n cai; co n g ta c xa
hQi; d a c b ig t rat li tu d n g tro n g th a m va n n h o m ; tr o n g giai
q u y e t v a n de h o n n h a n , g ia dinh. La cQ sd ch o s y ra d d i cu a h au
h e t c a c tie p can h ig n n a y dUQc irng d y n g tr o n g th a m v a n , tro n g
tr j li£u g ia d in h .
J. G odefroid, (19 8 7 ) cho r i n g phep tri li? u cua A d le r co anh
h u d n g quan trQng doi vdi tham van vi no cho phep nha tham
van hieu dUQc nhirng van de “rac ro i’ cua than chu th o n g qua
vigc tim hieu dieu kign song va ldn len cua than chu. M at khac,
th o n g qua qua trinh tham van, than chu co the hieu loi song
cua m inh, thira nhan s y khong hoan hao, de tir do tao nen s y
th a y doi. V igc tap trung vao y thirc trong phep tri li?u cua A d le r
bao tru d c s y ra ddi cua cac phUQng thirc tiep can nhan thu’c -
h a n h vi, va da m d d u d n g cho mQt loat cac phUQng thirc tri li?u
gia dinh ra ddi. C o rey cho r i n g A dler co anh h u d n g m anh tdi
cac p h o n g trao quan tam den sire khoe tam than CQng dong. S y
nhan m a n h vao dac tinh lien nhan cach la tieu chi thich h g p
nhat doi vd i cong tac th am van trong mQt xa hQi co nhi'eu nen
van hoa da dan g cim g ton ta i1.

1 Corey.G, Theory and Practice of Counseling & Phsychotherapy, Books/Cole

Publishing Company, 1991.
148 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M U

2. Tiep can N h a n van - H ien sinh

Phirong phap T iep can N han van - H ien sinh phat trien tir giira
the ky X X cung luc d ca M y va chau A u, nham ch on g lai hai trirdng
phai noi bat la phan tam co dien va hanh vi co dien vd i quan diem cue
doan v'e ban chat con ngiTcfi. Tiep can N han van - H ien sinh quan
niem rin g : Nhi'eu ngirdi tim kiem su" trd giup vi h(? co cam giac bat
an, kh on g hai long, cau gian vo cd hoac luon that bai trong viec dat
dirdc nhim g dieu ho cam thay nen lam va cam thay cd the lam dirge.
N guyen nhan cua dieu nay la do ho thieu van g nhim g mdi quan he
tinh ngirdi co y nghia hoac thieu vang nhim g li tudng, m uc tieu quan
trong de phan dau. V i vay, tiep can nay dac biet phii h g p vdi viec tim
kiem kh am pha nhim g xung dot ban than, phu h g p vd i khach hang
dang trai nghiem kh u n g hoang. M uc dich ciia tiep can N han van -
H ien sinh la nhan m an h den su" lira chon, sir tu" do, tinh trach nhiem ,
va su* tu1 quyet, vd i quan diem "chinh chung ta la tac gia ciia ddi
m inh" (Corey, 1999). M oi quan he giira nha tri lieu vd i than chii dirge
coi la d gn g lire chinh yeu dan den sir bien doi tron g tri lieu. T iep theo
phai ke den Carl R ogers vd i phirong phap tiep can than chii - trong
tam , D ugal A rbuckle, V icktor Frankl vd i phtfOng phap tiep can hien
sinh, Fritz Peris vd i phirong phap tiep can Gestalt.

- Tiep can than chu - trong tam

Dai bieu co tam cd anh hirdng tdi quan Carl Rogers

diem N h an van - H ien sinh la Carl Rogers (1902- 1587)

(1902-1987). O ng la ngirdi sang lap ra p h u on g
phap th am van than chu trong tam . Luc dau
phirong phap n ay dirge goi la "Lieu phap than
chii trong tam " va sau do dirge goi la "Phirong
phap tham van tap trun g vao ca nhan".
R o gers gia th ie t ran g m oi ngirdi deu sd
him n h im g ti'em n a n g cho sir ld n len, tiem
n an g ch o n h im g h a n h vi co h ieu q u a va co
k h u yn h h ird n g tir hien thirc h o a n h im g ti'em
w w w d a n m i v c n h k i >r : corn
n an g cu a m in h. Bdi vi m oi ca n han deu co
nhu cau m a n h m e dirge ngirdi kh ac ch ap n h an , coi tro n g nen ca
nhan co th e h a n h d o n g m ot cach k h o n g tir n h ien , k h o n g thirc te
C H L fO N G 3: Cac li thuyet tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam li | 149

va phat trien nhirng cam giac sai l?ch ve ban than, v'e nhimg dieu
m inh m ong muon. Nhir vay, nhirng hanh vi kem thich nghi la do
s y tap nhiem nhung mau ung xir sai l?ch trong cuqc song.
Than chu dirge xem nhu la mQt chii the co hieu biet, hQ phai
dirge hieu, dirge chap nhan de nha tham van co the cung cap
nhim g loai hinh giup do tot hon. PhtfOng phap tham van tap
trung vao ca nhan ciia Carl Rogers khong phai la chira tri cho
than chu hoac tim kiem nhung nguyen nhan tir qua khir ma cai
chinh la khuyen khich than chii tit hi£n thu'c hoa nhung tiem
nang ciia ban than, de phat trien tam H lanh manh d than chii.

Theo C. Rogers moi tUOng Viec ting dung cach tiep can
giao him ich giira nha tham van khach hang trong tam trong
va than chii la: Moi tirong giao tham van nhan manh den su"
dirge xac dinh bang mQt sir trong thau hieu nhting van de tiem
suot ve phan toi, trong do cac an ben trong khach hang thong
qua nhting dieu ma. khach
giac quan ciia toi bieu hi?n that
hang bieu hien ra ben ngoai.
sir ro rang su" chap nhan ngirdi
De Icim du<Jc dieu nay, nha
khac nhir m gt con ngirdi rieng tham van phai co kha ncing
bi<?t, co gia tri rieng, va bang mQt phan biet du’Q'c nhting cam xuc
s y cam thong sau xa khien toi co ma khach hang dang trai
the nhin the gidi rieng tir ciia nghiem, phai nghe chinh xac,
ngirdi ay qua con mat ciia ngirdi ranh rot nhting thong tin ma
khach hang dang bay to va
ay. Khi cac dieu kien tren dirge
phcii phan cinh d u a c nhting y
th yc hi£n thi toi trd thanh mQt
nghia sau xa, cot loi ma khach
ngirdi ban ctong hanh cua than hang dang co gang truyen tdi.
chii, theo chan hQ trong sir tim M ot loi ma cdc nhd tham van
kiem chinh minh m a bay gid hQ thifd’ng pham phai do la chi
cam thay dirge t y do dam nhi<?m. phan. drih be ngoai van de ciia
khach hdiig bang viec chi nhde
N hi?m vu ciia nha tham van
lai nhting dieu md khach hang
theo phirong phap tiep can nay la
noi ra1.
tao ra mQt moi trirdng thuan lQi
de giiip than chii gid bo nhimg "rao can tam li" dang han che s y

1 Corev.G, Theory and Practice o f Counseling & Phsy cho therapy, Books/Cole
Publishing Company, 1991.
150 G IA O T R IN H T H A M * A ; » - V :

bay to khuynh hirdng tich cue von co va giup t h 'n chu lam sang
to, hieu ro ban than va chap nhan tinh cam rieng ju a n inh.
Phuong phap than chu trQng tam danh gia cao qua trinh tap
trung vao moi quan he tri lieu hQn la tap trung vao ki thuat trj
lieu. Vdi nha tri lieu thi thai dQ dong vai tro rat quan trQng trong
quan he tri lieu. Bdi tri lieu than chu trQng tam nhan manh den
moi quan he gitia than chu va nha tri lieu cho nen each tri lieu
nay chi xac dinh mQt so it ki nang chi dong vai tro thti yeu so vdi
thai dQ can co ctia nha trj lieu (dong vai trd chu yeu). Tham van
than chu trQng tam tdi thieu hoa ap dung cac ki nang tac dQng
trtfc tiep, cach dien djch, sti dat cau hoi, viec dieu tra, chain doan
va tim hieu lich sti than chti. Nhtfng lai ap d yn g toi da hoa kha
nang nghe tich ctfc (nghe cham chti tat ca cac dieu than chu noi,
du la nhting dieu vu vQ hay thoang qua), kha nang phan anh va
phan loai dtfQc nhting cam xtic ma than chti dang trai nghiem.
Viec tham gia day dti, trQn ven ctia nha trj lieu vdi ttf cach la mQt
ca nhan trong quan he tri lieu luon dtfQc nhan m anh hien nay.

Lang nghe tich c u t la mQt ki

Ban chat con ngudi la thien
nang nen tang trong tham van
v&i nhung khuynh hudng tien
theo phtfOng phap than ( hu trQng
den phat trien tiem nang va xa
tam. No ddi hoi nha tham van phai
hoi hoa. Nhwng co nhung
lang nghe bang tat ca cac giac
ngudi bi vudng mac cho nao
quan, nghe bang sir cam nhan ctia
do vd cdn d u ac tra giup de'tim
xtic cam, nghe bang "trai tim",
lai dong luc cdn ban ncfi minh.
lang nghe la dimg noi va dirng suy
Phuang phap Rogers dat
nghi. Lang nghe tich ctfc the hien d
trong tam ntfi than chu tin
viec nghe va nhan het dtfQc cam
tudng vao sUc bat day ncri con
xtic ctia doi tac, khong suy luan,
ngudi vd cung cap moi dieu
danh gia, khong lien he vdi cai nay
kien de giup than chii ddi dien
cai kia. Tron g khi do, phan hoi la
vdi chinh minh hong gidi toa
viec nha tham van noi lai bang
s u be tac ciia ban than.
ngon ngti ctia minh hay nhac lai ldi i
ctia than chti mQt cach co dQng de (C. Roaers)

lam rd h o n cam xtic, y nghi ctia

than chti va phai dat dtfQc sir tan thanh cua than chii.
C H U O N G 3: Cac li th uye t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam li 151

Q u an d iem tiep can cua C. R ogers cho rang con n gudi co ban
tinh tot, tich eye. C on ngudi co kh a nang ty* lo lieu, t y giai quyet
van d'e cu a h(? m a kh on g can s y d|nh h u d n g cua n ha th am van.
N han m an h den con n gudi hien tai - luc nay, d day, m a kh on g tim
ve qua khti. D at th an chu vao trun g tam cua sU giu p dd.
Muc dich cua tiep can than chu trong tam la giup than chu
trai nghiem vain d'e cua minh, biet chap nhan ban than, t y tin, cdi
md, s i n sang dUQng dau vdi nhung dieu co htiu, bao thu, song
thuc vdi cac pham chat ben trong cua minh, tu quyet dinh cach
thu’c giai quyet van d'e cua minh. Tiep can than chu trQng tam
khong coi trQng cac ki nang va hau nhu khong ap dung ki nang
tac dQng true tiep, s y dien dich, s y dat cau hoi, dieu tra, chan
doan va tim hieu lich sti than chu. Sti dung toi da ki nang lang
nghe tich cut, ki nang phan hoi va phan loai dUQc cac cam xtic ma
than chu dang trai nghiem.
Khai niem chu dao trong tiep can than chti trQng tam la: mQi
ngudi deu co the dinh hudng dUQc cuqc song cua chinh minh. Cac
than chti deu co kha nang giai quyet nhting van d'e phtic tap trong
cuoc song mQt cach hieu qua ma khong can den su* dien dich va
dinh hudng tti cac chuyen gia tri lieu. Cach tiep can nay tap trung
chti yeu vao nhting trai nghiem hien tai ctia than chti, tiep thu
dUQc cach chap nhan ban than va quyet dinh dugc cac cach thtic
de dat dUQc sti thav doi (giai quyet van de hieu qua).
Tri lieu than chu trQng tam coi stic khoe tam than nhu la s y
dong dang gitia dieu than chu muon trd nen manh vdi dieu than
chu chac chan thyc hien dugc. Khi moi trudng tham van tao ra
d u gc bau khong khi an toan va tin tudng, than chti co the tu1kham
pha ban than thong qua quan he tri lieu. Dieu nay lam cho than
chu dan dan co khinTih hudng cdi md, tin tudng vao su1 tu giai
quyet van d'e ciia ban than hQn va ngay cang san sang dUQng dau
vdi nhting cai co him. bao thti, dong thdi ngay cang song thyc vdi
nhim g pham chat ben trong ciia minh de ddi khang lai nhting bao
hieu ben ngoai v'e van d'e khach hang can thich ting (Corev, 1999).
C. Rogers cho rang thai dQ, nhan cach ctia nha tri lieu va chat
ly g n g ctia moi quan he gitia nha tham van va than chii la nhting
15 2 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N TA M II

dieu kien tien q u y et d an den ket qua kh a q u a n tro n g tri lieu . T heo
on g, n ha th a m va n phai co n hting p h am ch at sau, do la: s y trung
th y c , cam th o n g tron ven va ch in h xac, ch ap n h an vo dieu kien va
ton tro n g th an chu cu a m inh. T u th ai do n ay, ca c ki nan g, kinh
n gh iem m a th an chu th u dUQc q ua cac b u o i th a m van se g iu p ho
lam chu d u g c cac m oi q u an he cu a ho.
N h u n g dieu kien cot loi m a n ha th am van can co tro n g tri lieu
do la: s y tru n g th y c , h a y ton tro n g va ch ap n h an vo dieu kien,
cam th o n g tron ven , ch in h xac. Khi th an chu cam th a y co ngudi
h ieu m in h , th o n g cam tron ven vd i m inh thi s y b o c lo, giai bay
can g de d an g, th a n g than. Do v a y can tao ra m ot m oi tru d n g , mot
m di q u an h e ho trQ, k h ich le, kh o n g p he p h an , tro n g dd th an chu
cam th a y th o a i m ai, tir do co the b o c 1q n h tin g dieu rien g tu ciia
m in h ke ca n h tin g dieu th u d n g bi xa hoi len an. T ren cQ sd nay
m a n ha th a m van m di hieu d ud e tron ven th an chti v a tti do co
nhi'eu co h oi h o n de g iu p th an chii tru d n g th a n h h o n va tu giai
q u y et va n d'e ctia ch in h m inh.
T iep can th a n chu tro n g tam h'au n h u k h o n g ap d u n g cac ki
n an g tac d o n g tru e tiep , ngUQc lai, lai ap d u n g toi da h o a kha
n an g n gh e tich cUc (n gh e ch am chti tat ca ca c d ieu k h a ch hang
noi, dii la n h tin g dieu vu v o h a y th o a n g q u a), k h a n a n g p h an anh
va p h an lo a i d u g c n htin g cam xtic m a k h a ch h a n g d an g trai
n gh iem . V ie c th a m gia d ay dii, tron ven ciia n ha tri lieu vd i tu
cach la m ot ca n h an tro n g q u an h e tri lieu lu o n d u g c n h an m anh.
vi no lam ch u y en b ien qua trin h noi tam d th a n chii.
T h e o R o gers, ca n h an co k h u yn h h u d n g m o t m at lam cho
phan ld n tr u d n g h g p n h tin g trai n g h iem m a m in h se so n g trong
th e gid i b en n go ai phii h g p vd i kh ai n iem v'e cai m in h . cai m inh
thirc te. M at k h a c no n h am lam cho kh ai n iem v'e cai m in h sat vdi
n hting tin h cam sau xa tao nen ch o cai m in h li tu d n g , tu o n g ting
vd i n h tin g gi ti'em tan g. N h u vay, cai m in h h ien th u c co n gu y cO
k h o n g an k h d p h o a c khi con n gu d i d u d i ap lu c ciia h o a n can h bat
b u o c p h ai tti ch oi m ot so trai n gh iem h o a c con ngirdi tu th ay
m inh p h ai ap d at n h tin g tin h cam va n htin g gia tri h o a c nhting
th ai d(j k h ie n cho cai m in h hien thirc xa vd i cai m in h li tu d n g .
J. G o d e fro id (19 8 7 ) cho ran g, s u l o au v a n h tin g k h d n g thich
nghi ve tam li it n h ieu de lai h au qua ciia sir m at an k h d p gitia cai
C H U O N G 3: Cac li thuye t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam li 153

minh hien th yc va nhimg trai nghiem cuqc song mot ben va ben
kia giira cai minh hien thu’c va hinh anh li tudng ma ban than con
ngirdi do co.
M uc dich ciia phUQng phap tham van tap trung vao ca nhan
khong phai la chira tri cho than chii hoac tim kiem nhimg nguyen
nhan tir qua khir ma cai chinh la khuyen khich d than chii s y t y
hien th yc hoa nhim g ti'em nang ciia ban than, tao dieu kien de
dang cho s y phat trien tam li lanh manh d than chii. Than chii
dirge xem n h u la mQt chii the co hieu biet, ho phai dugc hieu,
d u g c chap nhan de nha tham van co the cung cap nhimg loai hinh
giiip dQ tot hon. Tiep can than chii trQng tam img dung trong cac
tinh huong giao tiep xa hoi, trong tri lieu va trong dao tao lay hQC
sinh la trung tam, trong quan he cha me -con cai, thich h g p trong
tham van khiing hoang, img dung vdi nhi'eu khach hang thuQC
nhi'eu nen van hoa khac nhau.
N hiem v y ciia nha tham van theo phUQng phap tiep can nav
la tao ra mQt moi trudng thuan lQi cho phep than chii hQe each
hanh dQng de dat den s y ty khuyen khich va ty hien thuc hoa.
N hiem vu chinh ciia nha tham van la giiip than chii gid bo nhung
"rao can tam li" dang han che sir bay to khuynh hudng tich cUc
von co va giiip than chii lam sang to, hieu ro ban than va chap
nhan tinh cam rieng ciia minh.
R o gers tin ran g th an chii co the tim ra giai phap ciia rieng
m in h tro n g mQt m oi tru'dng d do co mdi quan he th a m van nong
am va than cam . O n g xem chinh m oi quan he tham van nhir la m ot
vat xiic tac cho sU th a y doi va tin rang viec nha th am van tim cach
dua ra ldi giai th ich th a y cho than chii la kh dng th ich h g p . Do do,
khi tr g giiip th an chii R ogers hoan toan kh on g chi phoi quyet dinh
ciia th an chii m a sir d u n g ki thuat lin g nghe tich eye va tien hanh
ph an h oi soi san g lai cho than chii nhim g dieu than chii da noi (K.
G e ld a rd & D. G e ld a rd , 2000).
T ro n g khi p h a n ta m hQC nhan m an h ve sir phan tich va giai
th ich h a n h vi ciia n h a th a m van ddi vd i th an chii, thi C .R o g ers tin
ra n g th a n ch ii co th e tim ra giai p h ap ciia rien g m in h tro n g m oi
tr u d n g tu van co m di quan he n on g am , d on g cam . T h eo ong.
ch in h m oi q u a n h e giira nha th am van - th an chii da giiip than
15 4 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T A M U

chu tu" giai quyet van de cua minh. V i vay, viec nha tham van luon
d u a ra ldi g ia i thich, ldi khuyen la khdng hQp ly. V a chi khi nao
nha tham van cd d tfdc mQt stf ch a p nhan , ton tro n g vd d ieu kien
nhtfng gia tri ttf tai rieng b iet cua than chu; b a t ke d ja vj, h an h vi,
hoac thai dQ tich ctfc hay tieu ctfc cua hQ. C h i khi n ao n h a tham
va n cha n thu'c tro n g moi ttfQng giao vdi than chu (chan thtfc
trong cac cam giac, chan thtfc trong y thu’c, chan thtfc trong ldi
noi va h a n h vi), va chi khi nao n h a tham van thau hieu (thau
ca m ) than chu (nha tham van trai nghiem van d'e nhtf than chu
d an g trai nghiem, nhin van d'e n h tf chinh hQ nhin)... C hi khi do
than chu m di vtfng tin d b an than, than chu m di co the dUQng
dau vdi nhtfng van de cua minh mQt cach thich d an g.
Han che cua tiep can than chu trQng tam la cd stf yeu cau rat
cao ve nhan cach va ki nang cua nha tham van. V di nhtfng ngtfdi
kho co kha nang bQC 1q cam xuc hay khong co kha nang dien dat
bang ldi thi stf tien bQ trong tham van la kho khan. Ngoai ra
phtfOng phap tham van than chu trQng tam khon g coi trQng
nhtfng chi tiet ve qua khir cua khach hang.
Vi^c ufng dung cach tiep can than chu trQng tam trong tham
van nhan m anh den stf thau hieu nhtfng van d'e ti'em an d ben
trong than chu thong qua nhtfng dieu m a than chu bieu hien ra
ben ngoai. De lam dtfQc dieu nay, nha tham van phai cd kha nang
phan biet dtfQc nhtfng cam xuc m a than chu dang trai nghiem,
phai nghe chinh xac, ranh rQt nhtfng thong tin m a than chu dang
bay to va phai phan anh dtfQc nhtfng y nghia sau xa, cot loi ma
than chu dang cd gang truyen tai. MQt loi m a cac nha tham van co
the thtfdng pham phai do la chi phan anh be ngoai van d'e cua
than chu bang viec chi nhac k i nhtfng dieu m a than chu noi ra.
- T iep ca n H ien sin h
N htfng ngtfdi th eo th u yet H ien sin h gom co D ugal A rbuckle,
V ick to r F ran kl, R ollo M a y va Irvin Y alom . T iep can hien sinh
kh o n g xem xet den v ie c dinh htfd ng li th u yet, m a no tap tru n g vao
nhtfng va n d'e trQng ta m dtfa tren nhtfng gi m a con ngtfdi d an g ton
tai, nhtf: noi co d o n , stf co lap, cam xu c chan ghet, va sir vo nghia.
V d i q u an d iem ca n h an la ngtfdi chiu trach n h iem cua cuqc ddi
m inh, th a m van h ien sin h coi trQng sir ttf do, trach n h iem va sir ttf
 C H U O N G 3: Cac If th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam If 155

q u yet d y a tren n hu ng dac diem rieng bi£t cua tutig ca nhan. M y c

dich trj li?u c a ban ciia tiep can H i?n sinh la giu p ca nhan nhan ra
rang m in h la n h im g n gudi t y do va co kh a nang nhan b iet nan g ly c
ciia m in h va th ach thu’c than chu trong vi£c n h |n b iet n hu n g yeu to
can tro s y t y do ciia ho. T iep can hi<?n sinh phu h o p vd i cac than
chu d an g gap th at bai "hi?n sinh" va co y m uon tim kiem cach thifc
th a y doi, n h u that bai tron g hon nhan va trong con g vi£c, giai doan
ve h u u , n h u n g giai doan chuyen doi tuoi tac tron g ddi ngudi.
T ie p can hi£n sin h tap trung vao cac cau h oi m a th an chii can
trai n g h iem ve b an th an , nhu: T u do co y nghia gi vd i b an ? M ot so
q u y et d in h q u an tro n g m a ban da th y c hi£n la gi? C u oc so n g cua
ban tro n g th d i d iem hi£n n ay kh ac vd i cu oc so n g m a b an dinh
h u d n g tr u d c kia n h u th e nao? Cai gia nao b an p h a i tra kh i ban
tro n g d p i va o n g u d i k h a c de co cau tra ldi cho ch in h m in h ? Khi
m o t n g u d i n ao do da tim g hi£n him tron g cu oc d d i b an da dua ra
q u y et d in h th a y ch o b an , m a trong khi do b an th an b an co du kh a
n an g la m dieu do, v a y ho da noi nhung dieu gi vd i b an ? V a o th d i
d iem do, b an da p h a n h oi lai ho n h u the nao? Ban co th e tan g
cU dng n a n g ly c cu a m in h ve s y tu tin b an th an th o n g qua vi$c
ch ap n h a n riii ro de d u a ra sif lu a chon cho ch in h m inh?
M o t ki th u a t m a C o re y th u d n g im g d ung tiep can Hi£n sinh
tro n g tin h h u d n g th a m v a n nhom la yeu cau m oi n g u d i h a y tu d n g
tUQng v e cu o c so n g cu a m in h ve n hu n g dieu m in h m on g m u on . VI
d y n h u n h u n g cau h o i sau:
- B a n m u o n tu a n g lai cua m inh n h u the n a o ?
- B a n m u o n n o i g i ve ban than m inh k h i lien he v& i n h u n g
ngU & i co a n h h u & n g d en cu o c son g cua ba n ?
- D ieu m a ban m uon k h a c sau tren bia m o cu a m in h la g i?
- D ie u ban d a n g lam h o a c dieu ban co the lam tron g th&i
d iem h ien n a y d e b ie n n h u n g U&c m a cua m inh tha n h s it th u c la
g i?...
D y a tren n h u n g tra ld i n ay ciia th an chii, n ha th a m va n co the
ch ia se th o n g tin , cu n g cap th on g tin, giiip th an chii h o a giai
n h im g m a c cam , s y th a t bai ciia b an than; giu p th an chii nhin
n h an n h im g d ieu m a ho con th ieu tro n g con g vi?c, cu oc song.
156 1 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M Li

Dieu quan trQng la nha tham van giup than chu loai bo dUQc niem
tin tieu c u t va cung h(? ban phUQng hudn g giai quyet cho nan d'e
m ang tinh "hi£n sinh" cua ho-
Do thieu hu t mQt h ? th on g nhu ng n gu yen tac va thu'c hanh trj
li?u nen phUQng p h ap Hi<?n sinh kh on g d u g c xem la mQt cach tiep
can kh oa hoc. N o bj gidi han khi tham van cho cac th an chu co trinh
dQ van h oa thap, n h u n g than chu kh o n g co kh a n an g b g c 1q ban g ldi
hay nhu n g kh ach h an g co kh u n g h oan g eye dQ can s y djnh hudng.
- T iep can G esta lt

Khi mot than chu tam sit ve dieu kho tam cua minh trong qua
khif, than chu dwac yeu cau "bieu dien lai vd kich "nhw the no
dang xay ra ngay trong hien tai, bang cach tw&ng twang va
hoi twdng lai nhwng trai nghiem tam li cua minh. Tiep can
Gestalt la mot phwcfng phap bieu twang hod vd ddi thoai vdi
chinh minh.

T iep can G e sta lt d u g c k h d i x u d n g b d i ca c n h a ta m li hQC

n g u d i Du'c. T h e o q u an d iem cu a tru d n g p h a i G e sta lt, y e u to sinh
ly, tri tu ? v a cam x u c lu o n d u g c th o n g n h a t tro n g mQt ch in h the
(co cau true). T ro n g cuqc so n g ca n h an Frederick Fritz"
phai chiu trach n h i?m ve h a n h vi, sU trai Peris
n g h iem cu a ch in h m in h va hQ co k h a
n an g k h a m p ha, cam n han , n h an thirc va
dien giai nhirng v a n de ciia m in h . V i va y,
tro n g th a m va n , th a n chu dUQc k h u y e n
k h ich va chii dQng tich cUc n h in n h an va n
de ciia m in h . Q u a do, hQ co th e tim lai
d u g c n lw n g k h ia can h da bi ch oi b o ciia
b an th an . T ie p can G e sta lt n h am giiip
mQi n g u d i trai n g h iem nhirng vi£c x a y ra
vvww neft.dk
tai th d i d iem h ien tai v a n h an thirc d u g c
no la “cai g i” v a “n h u th e n a o ”.
F re d e rick (F ritz) P eris la n gu d i san g lap tri li£u G estalt.
T ru d n g p h ai G e sta lt d ua ra nhi'eu ki th u at tri li£u cd th e im g dung
tro n g cuqc so n g h a n g n g a y ddi vd i tim g ca n h an h a y n h o m nho,
C H U O N G 3: Cac If th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam If 157

nhir: k i th u a t “ ch iec ghe tr o n g ”, “G iai m a giac m o ”, Bai tap doi

th o a i, ki th u a t h o a n vi, Bai lu yen ve tap dien, Bai tap p h o n g dai...
F re d ric k (F ritz) P eris n h an m an h den su1 n han thu’c d an g ton tai
tro n g k h a ch h an g. C h o rang con n gu d i co th e th a y doi khi ho
n h a n th u ’c v'e m in h to t h on , vi v a y th am van can giu p cho kh ach
h a n g n h an b iet v'e b an th an tot h o n d y a tren sU th o n g n hat gitra
tri oc, th a n th e va cam xiic. Ca nhan phai chiu trach n h iem v'e
h a n h vi ciia m in h tai th d i diem hien tai va nhan thu’c d u p e v'e
nhirng v ie c h o d an g tu duy, d an g cam th a y va d an g lam tro n g s y
n oi ket v d i n h au . F ritz P eris k h o n g chii trUOng qua n han m anh ve
q u a kh ir ciia th a n chii tro n g qua trinh th am van . T h eo ong, than
chii can n h a n trach n h iem ve hien tai. T h an chii lien ket n h u n g
d ieu hQ d a n g tu duy, d an g cam th a y va d an g h a n h d on g lai vd i
n h au k h i h o tUOng ta c vd i nha trj lieu. T han chii can tap tru n g
cam n h a n v e cac cam giac, ru n g dong, tu d u y hien tai d an g trai
n g h iem , ch ir k h o n g nen p h ien trach, do loi ve qua khir. N eu
k h d n g , th a n ch u cd th e "tron tran h " viec giai q u yet th y c te, an
m in h tro n g "th a t b a i" ciia qua khir. Khi th an chii k h o n g doi dien,
d u o n g d au d u p e vd i h ien th y c thi ho kh o giai q u yet dUQc "van d'e
h ien n a y", "n g a y b a y gid ".
Frit P erlz khi lam viec vd i than chii rat lam chu trong qua trinh
tr y c tiep doi m at vd i th an chii va het sire tim cach lam cho than chii
th ay ddi b an g cach kh u yen khich than chu do tim n hu ng kinh
n gh iem d'e k h a n g ciia m inh, giiip than chu m d ta cac cam xu c cO the
va lien he cac cam xiic do vd i nhung tinh cam va y tu d n g (tu duy li
tri). Kni th a m van , Frit Perlz khich le than chii noi v'e "cai ta" va
n han lay trach n h iem ve hanh dong ciia m inh, giup than chii tu
d on g cac vai kh ac nhau va tao ra cac doi thoai giua cac vai nay. N h u
vay, phUOng p h ap th am van ciia Frit Perlz chii dong h u d n g dan than
chii trai n gh iem vd i cac cam xiic - tu tu d n g ciia m inh, ddi dau vdi
n h im g rac rdi h ien tai, m a kh ong im g ho cho viec di tim cac n gu yen
n h an tro n g qua khir de li giai va "dd loi" cho no va no phii h o p trong
lam viec vd i n h o m , ca nhan, trong xa hoi hoa ca nhan, t y chii ca
nhan, giai q u yet x u n g dot vd chong, gia dinh co van de, it tac dung
vd i k h a ch h a n g d an g d tran g thai lo hai.
158 6 I A 0 T RI N H T H A M V A N T A M U

Co nhi'eu ki th u a t dUdc th iet ke de ta n g cu d n g s y trai nghiem

tr y c tiep v a giai q u y et nhirng cam x u c x u n g dpt. T h a m van theo
p h u o n g p h ap G e sta lt s u d y n g n h u n g k i th u a t sau d ay (E.D.
N e u k ru g , 1999):
- N h tin g ba i tap n han thu 'c: N h a th a m va n yeu cau th an chu
n h am m at la i v a trai n gh iem tat ca cam xuc, su y n gh i va tinh cam
d an g h ien hUu.

- B a y to cd i toi: N h a th am van se k h u yen k h ich th an chu bay

to cai toi cu a m in h d u n g vd i b an th an m in h. T h a y vi keu len rin g
"the gid i n a y th a t toi t£" th an chu se noi "toi to i t?, toi k h o n g chju
trach nhi£m vi s y h a n h p h u c cua toi", n g h ia la th a n chu chap
nhan cai to i cu a m in h n h u nhirng gi m a no hi£n hUu.
- K i th u a t cti& n g d ieu hod: N h a th a m v a n ye u cau th an chu
p h o n g dai m pt tir, m ot cy m tir h o a c m ot h a n h vi k h o n g ldi ma
N h a th a m v a n tin ran g no co y n gh ia an chira. V i du m o t than chu
cam th a y m in h vo d y n g se co th e d u d e yeu cau tu d n g tu p n g minh
trd nen vo d u n g h o n va dat den n h u n g tir m a th a n chii thay
k h d n g th e vd d u n g h o n d u p e nUa.

- K i th u a t ch iec g h e trong: N h a th a m v a n y e u cau th an chii

tu d n g tUOng ra ai dd h o a c m ot p h an cu a b an th a n n goi tren chiec
g h e tro n g. N h a th a m van g iu p th an chu doi th o a i v d i "ngudi
kh ac" (vd i ch iec gh e) de gp i m d n h u n g van de b en tro n g th an chu.
T h a n ch u p h a i tu d n g tu p n g cd s y dap lai cu a “n g u d i k h a c ”, lin g
nghe h o tro n g s u tu d n g tU dng va tra ld i m a n h d an , t h in g than
n h u anh ta nghi. M a c du d ay la m ot b ai ta p d o n g vai tu d n g tupng
n h u n g m oi n g u d i thir n g h iem deu n g a c n h ien v d i n h u n g ldi da
th o t ra v a n g a c n h ien vd i n h u n g tin h cam m a m in h "thira n h an ”.
ki th u a t n a y g iu p th a n chii h ieu ro cai gi m in h d an g cam nhan va
chi p h o i cu p c so n g cu a b an th an . M at kh ac, no cdn g iu p th an chu
xa trir n h u n g b u t bpi b en tron g.

- D o n g v a i p h o n g chieu: Khi m pt ca n h an cd n h u n g cam xuc

m an h m e v e ai do h o a c dieu gi do, n ha th am va n cd th e yeu cau
hp b a y to cai tdi (cam xu c) ve n gu d i dd h oac d ieu dd.
C H U O N G 3: Cac li th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th a m van tam li 159

- C h u y en n h u n g cau h o i vao s it bay to ban than: N h a th am

va n y e u cau th a n chu ch u yen n him g cau h oi vao sU b a y to b an
th an . H ay tu d n g tu p n g mQt th an chii hoi: "Tai sao con n g u d i l^ii
k h d n g q u a n tam den s y thieu h y t tai ch in h ?" se ch u yen thanh:
"Tdi cam th a y tin h h in h tai ch in h kh dng an to a n ”.
- N h itn g k i th u a t khac: G ia dinh r in g cac ca nhan lu o n cd xu
h u d n g tro n tran h trach nhiem , phdng chieu len n gu di k h ac va tim
cach k h d n g lien he vd i n h im g cam xiic d u g c che giau. N ha tham
va n G e sta lt sir d u n g rQng rai cac ki th u at kh ac n hau de dua than
chii di den su1tu nhan thirc.
PhUQng phap tham van Gestalt d'e ra nhung yeu cau ro rang
cho cac nha tham van khi thu’c hien cong viec trQ giup cho than
chu, nhu: phai de than chii tiep xuc va md ta cac xuc cam va lien
he cac xuc cam nay vdi nhimg rung dQng tinh cam va tu tudng,
phai khuyen khich than chii noi v'e cai tdi, nhan lay trach nhiem
v'e cac hanh dQng ciia minh, phai tham dd cac doi cUc cua ban
nga, phai khuyen khich than chii dong vai chinh minh va vai mQt
ngudi quan trQng khac va tao nen s y doi thoai giua ho va ngirdi
kia, phai b a y to quan niem ve "ke thang, ngudi thua" va khuyen
khich than chu dien vai doi thoai giua cac phan nay cua ban nga,
phai giup than chu tim hieu cac giac m o ciia hQ...
PhUQng phap Gestalt la mQt cach tiep can than chii chu
dQng, true tiep. Theo E.D . Neukrug, Uu diem cua tham van
Gestalt la d cho than chii dUdc khuyen khich noi ve cam xuc, rung
dQng tinh cam giup cho hQ giai toa cam xuc va trai nghiem cam
xuc trong tinh hudng ciia minh; than chii dUdc dong cac vai khac
nhau tao nen cai nhin toan dien ve van d'e cua minh, di den kha
nang chap nhan th yc te. chap nhan hoan canh; than chii tu di den
kha nang kh am pha ban than, hieu minh hQn, chap nhan cai dang
hien cd ciia ban than. PhUQng phap Gestalt giong n h u phan tam
chii trQng vao s y giac ngQ va giai quyet nhung xung dQt nQi tam
nhim g giong phUQng phap tap trung vao ca nhan la tim cach dan
than chu den dUQng dau vdi cuqc song mQt cach cd y thu’c va hieu
qua. V e nhUQc diem: tham van theo phUQng phap nav kho thyc
160 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M II

hien vd i nhirng ngirdi it co k h a nan g dien dat b a n g n gon ngir; cac

k i th u a t d o n g vai co th e g iu p h ieu r 5 yeu to d u y tri roi n h ieu , hieu
r5 van d'e n hirng rat kh o thu’c hien d u g c v d i n g u d i ld n ; chua
k h u yen k h ich k h a n a n g d'e ra phUOng an g ia i q u v et van d'e ciia
th an chii.

3. Tiep can N han thu'c - Hanh vi

Cdc s y kien ty ban than no khdng mang lai cdc van de xuc cam vd
hanh vi nhitng s y danh gid vd niem tin mang tinh nhdn thu'c ve cdc
sit kien trong cuqc song dan cluing ta den cdc van de nay. Phwcfng
phap xiic cam hap li cho la cdn nguyen ciia nhitng rdi loan xiic cam,
hanh vi xuat phat tit nhitng niem tin vd suy nghi phi li tri.

T ie p can th an chu th eo Albert Ellis

phUOng p h a p N h a n thirc - H anh vi (19 13 - 2 0 0 7 )
q u an n iem ran g con n g u d i kh o n g
phai la sin h v a t th u dQng bi kiem
soat ch at ch e ciia m oi tru d n g . Cac
cach thirc con n g u d i h an h dQng
deu xu a t p h at tir sU h ieu b iet va
n h an thirc cu a hQ. N eu sU nhan
thirc d u a tren cac q u an d iem h a y
n iem tin p hi li no th u d n g g a y ra
cac h on lo a n cam x iic v a cac im g xir
k h o n g th ich im g. Co th e dien giai
w w w . so c. h a w a ii.e d u
q u an d iem ciia tiep can n h an thu’c -
h a n h vi n h u sau: S u y n gh i, cam xiic va h a n h vi lien q u an m at thiet
vd i nhau. S u y nghi, n h a n thirc q u yet d in h su1 bieu h ien cua cam
xiic v a h a n h vi. N h im g roi lo an cam x u c co the x u a t hien do
n h im g su y n g h i le ch lac, tieu circ. N eu th a y doi n h im g su y nghi
lech lac, tieu c u t se g iu p ca n han cai thi^n dirQc n h im g rdi loan
cam xiic ciia m in h .

Tir nhim g n am i9 6 0 , cac tac gia n h u A lb ert Ellis dat tien de cua
md h in h tri lieu xu c cam hQp li (R ational E m otive B eh a\iou r
C H U O N G 3: Cac li th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am w .,i iam If 161

T h era p y - R E B T ), A aron Beck phat trien lieu phap nhan thu’c

(C ogn itive therapy), M axie C. M aultsby phat trien lieu phap hanh vi
h g p li (R ational B ehaviour Therapy). N am 1990, ten gQi “Lieu phap
nhan thu’c han h v i” (B ehaviour Cognitive T herapy) bat dau d u g c sir
d yn g. T en gQi n ay de chi tat ca nhung lieu phap tam li co djnh
h u d n g den nhan thu’c (cognitively - oriented psychotherapy) n h u
lieu ph ap han h vi xu c cam h g p li cua Ellis, lieu phap nhan thifc cua
Beck, lieu phap hanh vi h g p li cua M aultsby. S y phat trien cua cac
m o h in h tiep can nhan thu'c - hanh vi da dua tham van, cung n h u trj
lieu n h an thu’c trd nen pho bien tren the gidi.

M y c dich cua phUQng phap tiep

- NgW&i dan ong that VQng
can nhan thu’c la nha tham van trQ
cung citc noi v&i mQt hQC
giup than chu trong viec phan tich
gid: "The la het! Tdi xong
tinh huong phai doi dau, vach ra
d&i roi! Tat cd tien dd het!
nhung dieu bat hgp li trong nhan thifc
Tdi mat tat ca!".
de di den thay doi chung, giup than
- Hoc gid hdi: "The anh van
chu thich nghi hcfn vdi hoan canh.
cdn nhin thay, nghe thay, di
PhUQng phap tiep can nhan thu’c co
lai... ditgrc chit?".
cac each tiep can nho sau day:
- NgW&i dan ong dap:
- Tiep can x u c cam h&p li
"Vang"!
D a y la m o h in h h u d n g dan, Hoc gid noi: "Vay thi tdi cho
giao d y e v a g ia o d y e lai. A lfred la cdi gi anh cung cdn, chi cd
A d le r la n g u d i d au tien de cap den tien la m at”.
tiep can n h a n thu'c. C ach tiep can
Sit viec van the, chi cach
n a y d y a tren g ia th u y e t cho rang
nhin cua chung ta thay doi,
v ie c th a y ddi ve n h a n thu'c cua ca
vd the'la cuoc d&i cung thay
n h a n se d an d en th a y ddi ve han h doi...
vi. A d le r k h o n g ch o ran g n gu on goc
Andrew Matthews
cam x u c cu a con n g u d i xu at p h at tif
n h u n g x u n g dQt tro n g vo thuc. T h eo ong, n han thu'c la yeu to
q u y et d jn h ch u y e u viec ch im g ta co cam x u c va h a n h dQng n h u
th e nao. M d h in h x u c cam th u an li cho ran g cac rdi lo an cam xu c
co n g u o n g o c tro n g q u a khir van co anh h u d n g den k h a ch h an g
q u a h e th o n g n iem tin p hi li tri va phi logic.
 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T AM ll

PhUOng p h a p h i n h vi ca m x u c h o p li (R a tio n a l E m o tiv e

B e h a v io u r T h e r a p y : R E B T ) do A lb e rt E llis (1 9 0 2 - 19 9 4 ) xay
d y n g n a m 19 6 2 , o n g co n d u p e ch o la o n g to cu a tri lie u h i n h vi
- n h | n thufc. Li lu £ n cu a o n g x u a t p h a t tir q u a n d ie m ch o rin g :
v a n d e cu a th a n ch u (n h u n g ro i n h ie u x u c c a m ) la d o nhufng
n ie m tin sa i le c h ho?ic n h im g m o n g m u o n th a i q u a , k h o n g phu
hgfp g a y ra. P hu cfn g p h a p R E B T yeu cau th a n ch ii d o i m at va
th a c h th u ’c v d i d ie u m a E llis go i la n iem tin p h i ly, th u y e t p h yc
th a n ch u th a y th e n h tfn g n iem tin k h ie n th a n ch ii n g h i kh ong
to t v'e b a n th a n h o£ c k h ie n n g u d i a y m a n g d a y n h u n g ca m nghi
tie u e y e h o $ c k h o ch iu . C a ch tie p c£n n a y dU dc d y a tren li
th u y e t n h a n ca ch . T ro n g do A (A c u tu a l): S y k ie n t h y c te; B
( B e lie f S y ste m ): H e th o n g n iem tin ; C (C o n s e q u e n c e ) : H e qua.
D a y l i m d h in h A B C : A: Stf k i e n - B: N ie m tin - C: H e qua.

T h u y S tA B C v§ s ir cang th in g cua Ellis

T h e o m o h in h A B C n ay, stf k ie n ciia th a n ch ii la th i d ai hoc.

T h a n ch ii cd n u n g n au n iem tin r i n g m in h h o c k e m . m inh
k h o n g co k h a n a n g , c h i c c h in m in h se trUQt. N ie m tin n a y lam
ch o th a n ch ii k h o n g co h a n h d o n g tich ctfc, th a n ch u c h a n hoc
v a k h d n g h o c (vi n g h i r i n g k h d n g th e dd dUQc). K et q u a la th an
C H U O N G 3: Cac li th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam li 163

ch u da th a t b a i, h o a c co h a n h vi ting xir k h o n g p h u h a p (n h u
ch i di ch u a cau m a y, h o a c t y sat). E llis ch o ra n g , ra t it k h i do
b a n th a n s y k i? n h a y tin h h u o n g (A) g a y ra h a u q u a stre ss (C) -
th a t b a i h o a c b i roi lo a n ting xti, m a chti yeu la do n iem tin (B)
v'e s y ki£n d o g a y ra.
V i d y , k h i co gai bj n gu di yeu bo (A), n iem tin ctia co rang
"M in h la do k e m coi, m inh la do bo di; ran g m in h se k h o n g bao
gift tim dUQc n g u d i nao k h a c n h u anh ta" (B), dan co den cam
gia c ch an n an m u o n t y sat (C). T ro n g khi vd i co gai kh ac, n iem
tin ra n g "A n h ta k h o n g xting d an g vd i m in h" dan co ta den cam
g ia c m a y m an th o a t dUQc anh ta, ran g "m inh co dieu kipn gap
d u p e n g u d i to t h o n ".
T ro n g p h a m vi ctia q u a trin h trj li<?u, Ellis k h u yen k h ich cac
ca n h an x e m x et n h tin g ld i n han dinh ve b an th an m a ho da noi
v a ca n n h a c x em li£u ch ting la hQp li h a y p hi li, q u a do d ua ra
n h tin g b ai tap n h a m th a y doi nhting su y n gh i l? ch lac. T h eo Ellis
(19 73 ). n h tin g y n g h i v a n iem tin l£ch lac, phi li do la:
- Q u a n ni£m ran g can phai dUQc m Q i n g u d i yeu m en, t o n
trQ n g k h i tiep x u c vcri m inh.

- Q u a n n iem ran g con n gu d i ltic nao cu n g phai gidi gian g, cd

k h a n Sn g la m to t n h tin g v i?c m inh lam .
- Q u a n ni£m ra n g sti b at h an h cua con n g u d i cd n gu yen nhan
b en n go a i v a con n g u d i cd it h o ac kh d n g cd kh a n an g k ie m soat s y
dau b u o n v a s y lo au ctia m inh.
- Q u a n n iem ch o r a n g q ua k h ti ctia m Q t n g u d i la h o a n to an
q u an trQ n g t r o n g vi£c q u yet dinh h an h vi hi£n tai v a nd anh
h u d n g sau s a c d en c u q c s o n g ctia n g u d i dd.
- Q u a n ni£m ch o ran g neu cd dieu gi do h oac g a y n g u y h iem
h o a c g a y sQ s?t th i ca n h an nen th y c s y q u an tam den nd v a n en
ch an d tin g k h a n a n g xu a t h i?n ctia nd.
- Q u a n ni£m ch o ran g c u q c son g se la tai h o a kh i s y vi£c
k h d n g di d u n g hucrng m a ta m on g m uon.
- Q u a n n i?m ra n g m Q t so n gu d i nhat djnh nao do cd tin h xau
xa, dQc ac, h a y tan b a o va nhting n gu d i lam dieu xau n h a t djnh
p h a i bj k h ie n tr a c h h o a c trtin g phat.
16 4 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M LI

- Q u a n d iem ch o ran g tron tran h th i de d a n g h o n la doi m$t

v6i n h u n g k h o k h a n v a t u ch iu trach n h iem tro n g c u q c song.
- Q u a n d iem cho ran g mQt ngufri nen d y a v a o nhirng ngutii
k h a c v a can mQt ai do m a n h hQn b an th a n de d y a v a o hQ.

- G iai p h a p h o a n h a o ltic n ao cu n g can co de ch o n g lai nhting

dieu to i te ctia c u q c son g.
Nhting niem tin phi li tren da gay nen nhting ting xti khong
thich hQp nhu: suy nghi tuyet doi hoa theo kieu hoac tat ca, hoac
la khong co gi; tram trQng hoa, quan trQng van d'e trucfc mot that
bai khong dang ke, dan den mat niem tin vao ban than, ngudi
khac va xa h<?i; tu" am thj la minh khong co kha nang chju dyng
that bai; khai quat hoa mQt cach vQi va, thai qua do chi dua vao
mQt, hai bieu hien cua sy kien, hoan canh xay ra v6i minh, va
cuoi cung la co cam giac su vo tich sy, vo gia trj ctia ban than do
tin rang minh la ke khong co kha nang gi.
M y c dich ctia tri lieu la gitip kh ach h a n g loai bo cach nhin
tieu eye v'e cuqc song va xay d y n g mQt triet li so n g tich eye va
co li tri hQn. De dat m uc dich nay, nha tham va n k h u y en khich
sU th am gia va CQng tac tich eye ctia k h a ch h a n g tro n g suot qua
trinh th am van. N h a tri lieu k h o n g do loi h a y ket tQi khach
hang, m a p hai huefng dan cho k h a ch h a n g la m cach nao de
tran h viec tir xi va va ket tQi ban than. Khi k h a ch h a n g bat dau
hieu dUQc vi sao ho luon gap phai n h tin g k h o k h a n tron g cuqc

song, khi do se h u 6 n g hQ th a y doi h a n h vi mQt cach tich cue de

xoa bo cam xtic h o a c/ v a han h vi tieu eye va ch u yen no thanh
han h vi m a n g tin h li tri.
Ellis d ua ra k i th u at th am van lien quan den n am buc/c cQ ban:

Thu: n ha t, nha tham van can thuyet p h y c than chu r in g hQ

dang co nhting y nghi kh ong hQp li.
T h it hai, nha tham van can chi ra cho than chti thay each hQ
dang duy tri nhting suy nghi phi logic va khong hQp li nay.
T h it ba, than chti can dUQc hoc cach thach thtic nhting niem
tin khong hQp li cua minh.
C H l f O N G 3: Cac li th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam li 165

T h it tit, than chu can d u gc biet lam cach nao cac niem tin phi
li lai dupe ban than tiep thu.
T h it n am , than chu can phai hanh dgng de phat trien mQt
cach song h a p li hQn tren the gidi.
KJ thuat REBT mang tinh hudng dan cao, co su1 thuyet phuc
va chap nhan d u a n g dau cua than chu nham thay doi nhan thu'c,
cam xuc, hanh vi. Ki thuat nay dUQc thiet ke de xac dinh va kiem
tra nhung nhan dinh sai lech cua than chu, tir do di den dieu
chinh nhung suy nghi va niem tin khong hQp li nay. Vi du thay vi
nghi “ T d i ch a n g la g i” , than chu co the luyen tap de noi vcri chinh
m inh rang “ T o i co m o t so' itu diem n ha t d jn h ” ; hay quan niem:
“ T o i k h d n g ba o gicf tim d ita c ngitcfi nao k h a c n h it ngitcfi d o ”
thanh “ T di se tim d u ’Q’c m o t ngitcfi k h a c” . PhUQng phap luyen tap
nay nham chong lai nhung y nghi tieu cu t ve ban than.
Theo J. Godefroid, nha tham van phai khuyen khich, thuyet
phuc, chieu chuQng thuc day than chii tham gia vao cac hoat dQng
da lam cho hQ chun bu dc hoac sQ hai; lam ro cac qua trinh tu duy
cua than chu, giup than chu y thirc dUQc dieu gi khong hQp li de
tri giac cac s y kien cho khach quan hQn, tim ra nhung giai phap
m di lam giam lo au, thay the cac irng xir khong thich nghi bang
nhung irng xir mdi phu hQp vdi doi hoi ciia cuqc song va moi
trudng luon thay doi.
De cd the trQ giiip dac luc than chii trong viec nhan dien dUQc
nhung suy nghi phi logic va nhung niem tin bat hQp li, Ellis da de
nghi than chu phai tiep tuc chong lai nhung niem tin phi li bang
cach luyen tap d nha, nhu:
- B a i tap & nha ve nhan thu’c. Lieu phap tham van cua Ellis
yeu cau than chii tiep tyc viec cau true lai nhan thirc mQt cach
linh hoat va chii dQng d ngoai phdng tham van de chong lai
nhim g niem tin phi ly, xac dinh nhung gi nen lam, phai lam de
loai bo nhung suy nghi tuyet doi hoa dan den nhimg niem tin phi
li trong cuqc song.
- L ieu p h a p d o c sa ch . Viec dQC sach xac nhan gia thuyet cQ
ban cua Ellis va/ hoac lam cu the hQn van de cua than chu. Than
166 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N T A M II

c h u co t h e t ie p t y c t h a y d o i m Q t c a c h c h u dQng n h im g s u y n g h i va
h a n h d Q n g v'e c h in h v a n d'e c u a hQ.

- D o n g vai. Than chu co the thir nghiem ve hanh vi moi ca ti

van phong lan ti nha bang viec dong vai. Q ua trinh linh hoat nay
giup thach thirc nhim g niem tin phi li dang ton tai va cung cap
m Q t he thong hanh vi bu dc dau cho s y thay doi tiep sau.

- B a i tap tan con g s it xa u ho. E llis ch o ran g cac ca n h an qua

thuofng x u ye n b i anh h u d n g b d i n h tin g gi ngirdi k h a c n gh i ve hQ.
D e la m g ia m s y anh h u d n g n a y on g gQi y ra n g cac ca nhan nen
lam trai v d i n h tin g di'eu m an g tin h xa h<?i th o n g th u d n g . Di'eu nay
ch o p h ep ca c ca n h an dep b o n h u n g di'eu nen lam v a phai lam de
h a n h d Q n g m Q t cach t y d o , th oai m ai hQn.
- B a i tap titcfng titcfng. E llis k h u yen k h ic h th a n chii tudng
tUQng b an th a n hQ m u o n hQ n h u th e nao. V ie c tu d n g tUQng, dac
b iet item th eo s y lu y e n tap h a n h vi, cd th e la m th a y d oi cach ton
tai cu a m Q t ca n h a n tre n th e gidi.
- N h itn g k i th u a t itn g xir. E llis k h u yen k h ic h v ie c sir d u n g bat
k i k i th u a t u n g xti nao cd th e de d an g d ua lai s y th a y doi ctia than
chti. N h u ren lu y e n s y q u yet doan, k iem soat b an th a n , tran ngap,
ch im n gap ctia tru d n g p h ai h a n h vi deu cd th e d u g c sti d u n g trong
lieu p h ap h a n h vi cam xtic h g p li (R a tio n a l E m o tiv e B ehaviour
T h e ra p y - R E B T ).
- N h itn g k i th u a t x u c cam . E llis ch o ra n g v ie c xem xet tinh
cam v a h ieu cam xtic ctia m in h cd th e n h a n ra d u g c n htin g suy
n g h i phi li. V i th e, E llis k h u yen k h ic h th a n chti di sau hQn vao
n h tin g cam xtic ctia hQ tro n g no ly c tao n en s y k ie m so a t nghiem
tu c b an th a n vd i h e th o n g n iem tin ctia hQ.

U11 d iem cu a tiep can R E B T tro n g th a m van la d cho de ap

d y n g tro n g th y c tien va de giai to a d u g c n h tin g cam xtic ttic thdi
cho th an chti, gitip hQ ting p ho to t hQn v d i va n d'e h ien tai ctia ban
th an . R E B T th ich hQp vd i n htin g th a n chii cd m oi lo au vira phai.
cd k h a n a n g su y lu a n tot v a ting d u n g tot tro n g tri lieu h o n nhan
gia d in h , tri lieu tin h due va tri lieu hQC d u d n g. T u y n h ien . diem
han ch e cu a R E B T la k h d n g coi trQng hieu q u a ciia m oi q u a n he
gitia n h a th a m va n v a th a n chii. V i v a y cach tiep can n a y it cd hieu
 C H U O N G 3: Cac If th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam If 167

q u a vd i nhirng th an chu co roi nhieu cam x u c dbn nen tif lau

tro n g v o th u’c. ki th u a t n ay kh o n g l&m cho th an chu d u g c chu
d g n g k h a m p h a b an th an de tim ra d u g c n h u n g tiem n an g cua
m in h , do v a y th an chu kh o n g co kh& nan g dtfcfng dau v&i n h u n g
k h o kh S n tro n g tUQng lai. C ic h thufc trgr giu p th an ch u cu a R E B T
chi la th u y e t p h u c h<? th a y doi su y n g h i va n iem tin phi li tren co
s d d u a ra n h u n g b an g ch u n g ve s y phi li nen co the? k h o n g dat
d u p e h igu q u a bcri tren th u c te niem tin cua con n g u d i noi ch un g
rat k h o th a y d oi va k h o n g phai luc n£o mQi su y n g h i va n iem tin
phi li cu a co n n g u d i cu n g la n gu yen nhan cu a nhuftig x u c cam au
lo, h a n h vi b at th u d n g d hQ.

- D ieu ch in h nhan th tic

Aaron Beck
PhUQng p h ap dieu chinh nhan
(Sinh 1921)
thu’c cua A a ro n B eck ve cQ ban giong
vd i cach tiep can cua Ellis, nhung
cach tiep can cua A a ro n Beck cd phan
m em m o n g vd i than chu h on khi ong
coi trQ n g gia tri cua m oi quan he
th am van v a anh hirdng cua nd den
qua trin h th a y doi cua than chu.
T h e o B eck, n h im g roi n hieu tam
li x a y ra k h i n g u d i ta n hin n han the
g id i n a y n h u la m Q t nQi rat n gu y
www.yalem edicine.vale.edu
h iem , d a y s y de doa. B eck ch o rang
cd sau lo i ch in h tro n g q u a trin h n han thu'c - xu" li th o n g tin , nhu:
su y lu a n tu y tien; k h d i qua. hoa. thd i qua; chu y vao ch i tiei; tu:
vgn v a o m in h va n d e khd n g he cd lien quan; su y n g h i tu y et doi
hod th eo m o t th d i cifc; qua n trong hod h o a c co i th u d n g . N h u n g
sai le ch ve n h an thu'c n a y cd n hieu diem tru n g vd i Ellis. M u c dich
cu a th a m va n th eo B e ck la dieu ch in h n han thu'c th eo h u d n g dieu
ch in h lai q u a trin h n h a n thu'c - xuTi th o n g tin.

E .D . N e u k ru g ( 1999 ) cho ran g d e g iu p th a n chu th a y doi

n h an thu'c ch o hQp ly, n ha th a m va n phai th iet lap m Q t m oi quan
h e n o n g am , k h o n g p h e ph£n th an chu; th u th a p b a n g ch u n g h o ac
d $ t m Q t lo a t cau h o i de p h at hien n h u n g su y lu a n vo li tro n g n h an
168 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N T AM U

thu'c cu a th a n chu; tien h a n h th y c n gh igm de k iem d jn h tin h logic

h g p li cu a n iem tin d an g to n tai cf th an chu; d an h gia lai sy kign,
p h a n tich lai tin h h u o n g de tim nhtfng y n g h i ty d o n g cua than
chu v a p h a t h ign n h u n g loi h o a c tin h vo li cu a ch u n g; th ach thu’c
n h u n g gia th u y e t ccf b an cu a th an chu b a n g vig c m o xe, phan tich
n h u n g tien de sai lgch b an dau de tim ra tin h b at hop H can phai
dieu ch in h ; p h a n tich lai tin h h u o n g h o a c sy kign tu* cac goc dp
k h a c n h au , g iu p ch o th a n chu dat m in h va o vi tri cu a n gu d i khac,
n h in n h a n sy v ig c ttf q u an d iem cu a ngtf&i k h a c de co cai nhin
h o p H hcfn v e b a n ch at cu a tin h h u o n g h a y sy k ign , ttf do tim ra
cac giai p h ap th a y the; thtfc tin h nhtfng y n g h i la c q u a n tich eye va
th y c te h o n d th a n ch u, dtfng nhtfng y n g h i v a n v o , tieu eye bang
cach th a y th e nhtfn g y n gh i tich ctfc, tot dgp h o n .

4. Tiep cQ.n hanh vi

MQt khia canh md tiep can hanh vi rat quan tam la phai dien
dat, nam bat dWtfc nhitng muc tieu cu the trong cong tac tham
van. Khach hang trong buoi dau den lam tham van thwang
hay dwa ra nhitng muc tieu cdn dat dwac mQt cach m d tdi,
chung chung vd tritu tWQ'ng. Vi vay, mQt viec dat ra cho nhd
tham van, tri lieu la giup khach hang djnh vi dwac muc tieu
cdn dat dwac m ot cach ro rdng, cu the. (Corey)

N h tfn g ngtfofi co co n g d on g gop ch o v ig c h in h th a n h tr| h?u

h a n h vi la A rn o ld L azaru s, A lb e rt B a n d u ra, J o se p h W o lp e , A lan
K a zd in v a W illia m G lasser. K h u yn h htfcfng h a n h vi d u o c phat
trie n tro n g nhtfng n am 50 va d au nhtfng n am 60 n h u la stf cap
tien th o a t k h o i tri li? u p h an ta m d an g th jn h h a n h trUcfc do.
N eu n h u phtfO ng p h a p tiep can noi ta m n h a m g iu p cho than
chu tim ra n g u y e n n h an cac va n de cu a m in h vefi gia d in h la khi
tin h h u o n g da d irge la m san g to, th a n chu co th e ttf th a y doi nhan
thtfc h a y ca m x u c, th i phtfOng p h ap tiep can u n g xtf lai x u a t phat
ttf n g u y e n li ch o ra n g roi n h ieu tam li chi la do stf h ign dign ciia
m o t h a n h vi k h o n g th ich tfng. B ang cach ta c d o n g trtfc tiep len
tfng xtf lgch la c cu a th a n chu, n ha th am van co th e g iu p th a n chii
h g c h oi, tiep th u nhtfng k h u o n m au h an h vi co h igu qua.
 C H LfO N G 3: Cac If th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam li | 169

Nhu* v§y, tiep can han h vi vd i m y c

William Glasser
d ich tap tru n g chu y tori vi?c th a y doi
(Sinh 1925)
h a n h vi hipn tai k h o n g th ich tfng tron g
th an ch u v a g iu p th a n chu h o c dupe
nhtfng k h u o n m au h a n h vi co hi?u qua
h o n . T rj li£u h a n h vi n ham vao vi§c
th a y d oi nhtfng h a n h vi co van d'e
th o n g q u a vipc tiep th u nhtfng kinh
n gh iem . V i v a y th a n chu va nha tham
van p h ai co n g ta c vd i n hau de vach ra
d u p e ca c m y c tieu trj li£u dtfOc ch ac
ch an v a k h a ch q u an (C orey, 1992 va
E.D . N e u k ru g , 1999). D e lam dtfpc nhtf
vay, n h a th a m va n dtfa ra nhtfng bai www.pegasus.cc.ucf.edu
hoc phu hpp, d tfpc th an chu the
n gh iem v d i stf k ie m tra, d an h gia ch at che tro n g su ot qua trin h va
sau do de co n htfn g h a n h d on g h p p 11 th a y th e. H ai phtfOng phap
tiep can th a n ch u d tfp c n h ac den n hieu tro n g th a m va n th eo quan
diem h a n h vi la phtfO ng p h ap da m iu h a n h vi cu a A rn o ld L azarus
va p h ep th a m v a n h i?n thtfc cua W illia m G lasser.
T h a m van th eo phtfOng phap tiep can tfng xtf n h an m anh
tam q u an trp n g cu a m oi quan h<? ch ac chan va q u an tam gitfa nha
th am v a n v a th a n ch u. T h an chu la ngtfdi chu d pn g th a m gia m pt
cach cd h ieu b ie t va o q u a trin h th am van. N h a th a m van va th an
chu cim g ch ia se n htfng kien thtfc v'e van d'e. T h a n chu th tfdn g
dtfpc h u a n lu y e n cac ki n an g de hp cd th e b ien q ua trin h di'eu
ch in h th a n h ttf d ieu ch in h . Di'eu n a y cho p h ep th an chu x a y dtfng
n iem tin tro n g m oi q u an h e th an th ien v a n h a th a m va n cd k h a
nang, cO hpi ld n h o n de xac dinh van d'e cu a th a n chu. N g o a i ra,
di'eu q u a n trp n g doi v d i n ha th am van la p h ai cp n g ta c trtfc tiep
vd i th an chii de cd th e xac din h van d'e cua th an chii m pt cach tot
nhat. N h a th a m va n trp giu p th an chii xac d in h tin h th tfd n g trtfc,
keo dai, m a n h m e ciia h a n h vi can dtfpc th a y doi. T tf do, th an chii
trai n g h iem d n h a th a m va n ve m pt con ngtfdi q u an tam , d ay
n h an ai, n gtfdi cd th e k n g n ghe tich ctfc, n h an d ien van de va
htfd n g d an ch o hp v e ki th u at de dat td i nhtfng m u c tieu cua th am
van . Stf trai n g h ie m n a y giiip th an chii nd ltfc h o n tro n g cai th ien
tin h h in h ciia m in h .
170 G I A O T R I N H T H A M V A N TAM U

C ac n h a ta m li hQC h a n h vi q u an n iem rang: “ Bat ki cai gi mQt

n gu d i la m la h a n h vi, co n cai gi m pt n g u d i cd la n et tin h ca ch ”.
C ac n h a th a m v a n h a n h vi th u d n g tap tru n g n g h ien cutf d an h gia
h a n h v i cu a th a n ch u. K hi th an chu den gap cac n h a th a m van , ho
th u d n g m o ta n h im g roi n h ieu tam li d u d i d a n g n h im g net tinh
cach. V i du: “T o i la n g u d i th ich lam viec, co n g v ie c lu o n lam toi
h u n g th u , n h u n g k h o n g h ieu vi sao dao n a y cir n g h i d en co n g viec
la tdi th a y n an lo n g k h d n g m u o n l&m gi c a ”. T ra ch n h iem ciia nha
th a m v a n h a n h v i la n h an d an g n h im g h a n h vi cy th e n ao b oc lo
ra b en n goai, n h a th a m vain cd th e q u an sat trtfc tie p d u p e (Vi du:
noi, cu d i, di lai, la m viec...) va n h u n g h a n h vi dien ra ben trong
cu a th a n ch u k h o n g th e q u an sat trtfc tiep dUQc (V i du: su y nghi
tu d n g tU dng, n gh i n h d , su y d oan , tin h ca m ,...), n h u n g cd the
n h a n b ie t t h o n g q u a su y lu an . C ac n h a t h a m van h a n h vi da sir
d y n g m d h in h A B C (A n te ce d e n t - ta c n h an k ich th ich , h a y tien
d'e; B e h a v io r s - h a n h vi va C o n se q u e sce s - H au qua, k e t qua) de
m d ta q u a trin h d ien ra lien tiep ciia n h im g stf kien , h ien ttfdng,
nhirng ta c d o n g cu th e dan d en h a n h vi xa h o i v a h ieu q u a sau khi
h a n h v i d tfdc b o c lo: T ie n de, ta c n h an k ich t h i c h b a n d au (A) la
nhtfng stf k ie n x a y ra h o a c cd m at trtfd c k h i h&nh vi (B) d ien ra,
ch u n g ta o ra n h tfn g di'eu k ien can v a du ch o h a n h v i x a y ra . Hau
q u a la nhtfn g stf k ie n x a y ra, la k e t q u a cu a m o t v ie c thtfc hien
h a n h vi (C ). H au q u a cd th e x a y ra cd a n h h tfd n g d en k h a nang
xu a t h ien lai n htfng h a n h vi n a y tro n g tu tfn g lai.

M u c tieu cu a th a m va n h a n h vi la can th ie p tich ctfc de lam

g iam h a y lo a i b o n htfng cam x u c tieu ctfc, n h tfn g uan uc, roi nhieu
b a n g ca ch th a y doi n h im g di'eu k ien d u y tri h a n h vi ttfOng im g, tire
la tim cach lo a i b o ta c n h an k ich th ich A v a di'eu ch in h h ieu qua
(de nd k h d n g d o n g v a i tro la cai cim g co ch o h a n h vi se xay ra
tro n g ttfOng lai) giiip th a n chii giai q u yet d tfdc n h im g van de rdi
n h ieu ta m li cu a ho.

C ac ta c g ia th eo q u an d iem th a m van va tri lieu h a n h vi cho

ran g stf th a y d oi h a n h vi d ien ra th eo 5 btfdc sau:

B ir& c 1, X a y d itn g m oi q ua n he: N h a th a m v a n p h a i xay

dtfng dtfdc m o t m oi q u a n h e la n h m an h vd i th a n ch ii v a b a t dau
xa c d in h m o t cach ro ran g nhtfng m y c tieu ciia th a m v a n th eo
phtfOng p h a p tie p can h a n h vi.
C H U O N G 3: Cac If th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tS m If 171

B if& c 2, NhqLn d ien van de va d$ t m\ic tieu: Sau khi xac djnh
ch in h x a c m o t so h a n h vi m a th an chu m u on th a y doi (n h u kh o n g
an q u a nhi'eu, k h o n g u o n g rUQu, kh o n g hu t th u o c...) nha tham
v a n v& th a n ch u cu n g xac d jn h n h u n g h&nh vi d 3 c trUng m a than
chu q u a n ta m v a d$t ra m pt vai m y c tieu thir n gh iem . C au hoi
th an chu can tra ldi: H&nh vi d 3c thu nao m inh th a t s u m on g
m u o n th a y d oi?

B it& c 3, L ita chon ca c ki thuat va th ifc hanh theo m au: D ya

vao th u yet di'eu kipn h oa kinh dien, dieu ki$n hoa thao tac, thuyet
tap n h iem xa hoi, n ha tham van co m ot so lUQng ldn cac ki thuat de
trO giup than chu tron g qua trinh tham van th ong qua tien trinh
th ay doi. V i d y, giu p th an chu t y trang bj m ot so ki nang n h u th u
gian tren kh u on m at de d'e phong nhirng trud n g h o p than chu phai
d u on g dau vd i nh im g tin h h u on g cang thang, phat trien nhim g bai
tap th on g th u d n g v'e the chat va tinh than v.v... O birdc nay, nha
th am va n phai ly a ch on va hu d n g dan nhirng ki thuat sat vd i m yc
tieu da dat ra d b u d c 2 de than chu th yc hi£n theo. Cau hoi than chii
can tra ldi: N h u n g ki th u at cy the nao se giup dat dUdc m yc tieu?
Q ua trinh tap lu yen co tuan theo m au? Phutm g thirc cim g co ( ty ban
thudng) n ao m in h co the sir dung n h u la m ot cach thu’c giup th yc
hi?n cac ke h oach h i?u qua? V a vi£c tap luy£n co giup cho ke hoach
hanh don g cua m in h v a n han h dude hi?u qua cao?
B ti& c 5, L u a n g g id s ti thanh cong: Q u a trin h th a m van dUQc
coi la th a n h co n g k h i co s y giam th ieu n h u n g h a n h v i b a t th u d n g ,
keo dai th u d n g x u y e n d th an chu. N eu k h o n g dat dUdc, n h a th a m
van va th a n ch ii p h a i xac d in h lai van d'e va cac k i th u at. C an xac
djnh n h u n g tieu ch i d an h gia ch u o n g trin h t y dieu ch in h b an th an
m ot cach r 5 ra n g , ch in h xac. C au h oi th an chu can tra ldi: N h im g
cach thu’c t y g ia m sat b an th an nao m a m in h co th e sir d u n g de
giu p d u y tri dUQc n h im g tien bo?
B ifcfc 6, K e t th u c tham van va theo ddi: N h a th a m va n p h ai
d u y tri lien la c v d i th a n chu tro n g m ot k h o a n g th d i gia n can th iet
de b a o d am th a n h co n g ciia qua trin h th a m van , ch u a n b i cho
th an ch u ta m th e v a k h a n an g ty di'eu ch in h sau k h i q u a trin h
th a m v a n k e t th iic. C au h oi th an chu can tra ldi: Ke h o a c h ty dieu
ch in h tie n trie n to t nhir th e nao?
172 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N TAM U

Phirong p h ap tiep can u n g xtf co the tien h a n h tron g th d i gian

ngan la co th e n h an th a y n gay ket qua dat dUQc. T u y n hien, tham
van h an h vi chi d em lai hieu qua khi nha th am van n am vtfng nhfeu
k i th u at th a m van va viec sir dung nhung ki th u at ddi hoi nha tham
van phai co k i n an g thtfc h anh cao, dat tdi trin h do th am van - trj
li$u ch uyen nghiep. D udi day la m ot so ki th u at p h o bien:

- H a n h vi m au: N h a th am va n xac d jn h nhtfng m au hanh vi

cd th e q u an sat dUQc va yeu cau th an chu lu ye n ta p co s u giam sat
cu a n ha th a m va n v a sau do t y lu yen tap d nha. V i du, nhtfng ki
n an g th o n g d u n g n h u tro ch u yen , la n g n gh e, th a u cam , cach an
u on g, k i n a n g h o c tap cu a th an ch u... se dUQc n h a th a m van giang
giai, thu’c h a n h tru e tiep th o n g q u a v ie c th a n ch u q u an sat va
lu ye n ta p d o n g vai tro n g su ot q u a trin h th a m van.

- S it d ung ki thu at dieu kien hod thao tac: Sau khi theo doi sy
hinh th a n h nhtfng k i nang th on g dung, nha th a m van giu p than chu
dap tat nhtfng h an h vi kh on g m ong m uon m ot cach ttf ttf qua cung
co tich c u t nhtfng han h vi m di. H anh vi lu yen tap m d i phai dUQc
cung co b an g cach lam tang cu d n g do h oac tan so xu at hien hanh vi
m d i va cim g co b an g kh en th u d n g (bang ldi h o a c cac hinh thu'c
khac) khi h an h vi m d i dUQc th iet lap.

- S it d u n g cd c bd i tap th u g ia n vd g ia m ca m g ia c tieu citc cd

he thong: k i th u a t n a y d u n g de h u d n g d an ch o n h tfn g th an chu
d an g trai n g h iem stf lo la n g v a so hai.
Joseph W olpe
Bai tap th u g ia n g iu p th a n chu tan g
n a n g ltfc k ie m soat cac tra n g th ai x u c (1915-1997)
cam , n h d do cd th e d u o n g d au cd h ieu
q u a v d i ca c roi n h ieu tam li.

Bai tap th u g ia n dUQc coi la m ot

b o p h a n cu a k i th u a t giai m an cam cd
he th o n g do J o se p h W o lp e (19 5 8 ) dua
ra. Ki th u a t n a y dUdc d u n g de h o a giai
nhtfng roi n h ieu ta m li k ieu am so, lo
h ai va dUdc thtfa n h an la m ot tron g
nhtfng phUOng p h ap h o a giai lo hai cd
h ieu q u a, de sir d u n g va de th an h
con g, g o m ca c b u d c sau: ww\v. mcckc.edu
CHlfCfN G 3: Cac If th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam If 173

1. N h a th a m van yeu cau th an chu nham m at lai v a tu d n g

tUQng ra m ot lo a i ca c k ich th ich g a y s o th eo m ot trat t y tir yeu den
m an h .

2. N h a th a m va n h u d n g dan than chu tien h a n h cac b ai tap

th u g ia n de d u a th a n ch u vao tran g thai th u gian toan than.

3. T ro n g tra n g th ai th u gian, n ha th am va n yeu cau th an chu

tu d n g tU dng m o t cach sin h d on g lan lUQt n h u n g k ich th ich g a y lo
au da li?t k e tir m u’c yeu n hat den mire cO th e q u en dan. N eu kich
th ich dUQc q u en dan k h o n g g a y n h u n g kh o chiu th i ch u yen len
m ot k ich th ich m a n h h o n . N eu th ay d th an chii x u a t hi£n cam
giac lo au - k h o ch iu th i d im g lai, tap tru n g th u gian de cd the tiep
tu c th ich u n g. Cir n h u v a y den nac th an g g a y s o cao nhat.

- P h itcfn g p h a p da m au han h vi
Arnold Lazarus
D ay la p h u o n g p h ap tiep can than
(sinh 1932)
chu p h o b ie n ciia th a m van h a n h vi do
A rn o ld L a za ru s x a y d y n g . P h u o n g phap
cua L a za ru s co g a n g de x a c din h m ot
cach ro ra n g v a n de, d at ra m u c tieu, xac
djnh k i th u a t v a do lu d n g ch inh xac
n h u n g th a n h co n g ciia q u a trin h th am
van va tri li£u. C a ch tiep can cua A rn o ld
L azarus d u a tren sU p h a n tich can th an 7
m au h a n h vi, d u o c b ie t den b d i cac ch u
cai BASICID. B a n g vi£c n h an d^ing nhu
cau cu a th a n chii tro n g th am van, www.impactpublishers.com
L arazu s y e u cau th a n chii m ieu ta m au
h a n h vi b a n g vi£c tra ld i n h im g cau h o i th u o c cac lin h vUc d ud i
d ay (d a n th eo E .D . N e u k ru g , 1999 ):

- H a n h v i (B e h a v io r): T h a n chu phai th o n g ke m ot d an h sach

n h im g h a n h vi cd th e q u an sat dUdc n h u h oat dong, thdi q uen . cir
chi, stf d ap im g v a p h an im g m a ho m u on th a y doi. T h a n chu phai
xac d in h x em h o m u o n b at dau h a y ket th u c lam vi?c gi.
174 G IA O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M li

- X uc cam (Affect): Than chu viet ra nhirng tinh cam, tam

tr^ng va nhung cam xuc manh ma h(? binh thtfdng khon g mong
muon, n h u lo lang, tQi loi, gian dtf, buon chan...
- C a m g ia c (S en sa tio n ): T h a n chu p h ai noi len b at cu1cam giac
tieu ctfc n ko lie n q u an den ca c gia c q u an x u c giac, vi giac, khtfu
giac, th i g ia c th in h g iac, n h u d in g th an g, ch o n g m at, d au ddn, do
m at, d a y h o i...

- Ttfdng tUQng (Imagery): Than chu viet ra bat ki nhimg di'eu

phien toai trong giac mo, nhtfng an tUQng sau sac, nhim g net tieu
ctfc, stf ttfdng tUQng v'e hinh anh chinh ban than minh, lap ra mQt
danh sach bat ctf hinh anh tinh than ho§c nhtfng hinh anh am
thanh nao gay rac roi cho than chu.
- S tf n h a n th tfc (C o n g n itio n ): T h a n ch u la p ra mQt d an h sach
b a t ki th a i dQ, g ia tri, u y tin v a y tu d n g d e m la i h a n h p h u c ciia
hQ. D a n h sa ch n a y cu n g b ao g o m ca n h tfn g y n g h i tie u ctfc ve
b a n th a n hQ.

- M o i q u a n h<? ca n h a n (In te rp e rs o n n a l R e la tio n s h ip s): Than

ch u dUQc y e u cau v ie t ra b a t ctf stf tUQng ta c n ao g a y k h o chiu
v d i n g u d i k h a c (n h tfn g m oi q u an h e, tin h b a n , n g u d i ye u , dong
n g h iep , n h tfn g n g u d i q u e n ) cu n g n h u b a t ki stf d o i xtf ciia ngtfdi
k h a c d oi v d i hQ.

- N htfng ch at g a y nghien/ T in h tran g cQ th e (D ru gs/B iology):

N h a th am va n yeu cau th an chu liet ke ta t ca nhtfng chat gay
nghi$n, h o a c cd an h h u d n g td i stfc kh o e m a hQ ttf d im g h o a c theo
stf chi dan cu a b a c si.

T ie p th e o q u a trin h p h a n tich B A S IC ID la ch ie n lUQc tro

ch uy£ n cd i m d v a o n h tfn g m u c tie u th a m va n dUQc p h a t trien
ch o m d i m au h a n h vi. H u d n g tie p can ciia L a za ru s la rat thtfc te
va cd th e dUQc ap d u n g b d i b a t ki n h a th a m va n cd s y h ieu biet
sau v'e stf ca n th ie p th a m v a n va v'e p h ia th a n ch ii, hQ co th e m ieu
ta 7 b u d c v'e m a u h a n h vi B A S IC ID .

K y th u a t tra n n g a p va ch im n g a p : V d i ki thuat tran ngap,

than chii tro n g trang thai th u gian hoan toan, t y tu d n g tUQng
C H U O N G 3: Cac If th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam If 175

mQt tinh h u on g gay sq hai nhat hoac nghe mQt cuon bang mo
ta chi tiet tinh h u ong do, nhung phai trong moi tru d n g an toan.
Y nghia cua p h u o n g phap nay la than chu khon g dUQc phep ne
tr&nh nhirng tinh hu on g kich thich gay sQ hai ma ngUQc lai
phai doi m at vdi nhung kich thich nay. T ro n g thdi diem nay
than chu kh a m pha ra rang nhtfng kich thich do kh on g dang sQ
n h u m inh nghi trtfdc day. V iec lap di lap lai cac kich thich gay
sQ do khien cho ch un g giam dan sire m anh tao ra lo au. V a khi
lo au xay ra thua dan hoac khon g xay ra ntfa thi cam giac cang
thang se m at di.
Ky thu^t chim ngap cung tUQng ttf n h u ki thuat tran ngap,
ngoai trtf than chu dong y tiep xuc trtfc tiep vdi hoan canh co
thtfc, ki thuat nay con doi hoi than chu trai nghiem tiep xuc vdi
nhtfng dieu kien co thtfc. Than chu dUQc kich thich tudng tUQng,
chang han xem mQt cuon phim hoac nghe mQt doan bang mo ta
chi tiet tinh hu on g gay sQ (dieu nay co the khong giong nhu sQ
hai ma hQ vtfa tu d n g tUQng). Ki thuat nay da dUQc xac nhan la co
hieu ltfc h o n ki thuat giai man cam co he thong va trong tham
van stress co lien quan den roi nhieu tam li n h u am sQ ma, am
sQ khoang trong... Hai ki thuat nay cung dUQc dung de hoa giai
nhtfng roi nhieu tam li n h u lo hai, am sQ. V iec stf d y n g nhtfng ki
thuat nay doi hoi nha tham van phai co trinh dQ cao, dat tdi
trinh dQ tham van - tri lieu chuyen nghiep.
Tom lai, tham van hanh vi phu thuQC vao kha nang kiem soat
dUQc stf thay doi cua cac moi trudng khac nhau. No co tac dung
trong mQt khoang thdi gian ngan nhung dem lai ket qua cao doi
vdi nhtfng roi loan am anh, cam giac tuyet vQng, roi loan tinh due,
roi nhieu tre em, stf sQ hai, stf thuc ep, tram cam, nghien m a tuy,
tan cong va nhtfng hanh vi tQi pham, dieu tri benh lien quan den
tim. Trong qua trinh trj lieu, khach hang luon dUQc thong bao ve
qua trinh tri lieu va cach thtfc tien hanh de tiep thu do mau hoa
hanh vi. PhUQng phap tiep can tfng xtf trong tham van hien nay
khong chi chu y vao cac stf kien, hanh dQng ben ngoai. ma con
quan tam den vai tro cua nhan thtfc, suy luan, danh gia cao ddi
176 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N TAM li

song nQi tam cua than chu. D ong thdi no ket hQp n hung quan
diem va phUQng phap tiep djin nhan van vao qua trinh tham van
cho than chu. Do do, tiep c |n nh£n thu’c - hanh vi dUQc cac nha
tham van Uu tien sir d yn g rQng rai tren the gidi. T u y nhien, khong
the khong noi den mQt so han che cua tiep c |n hanh vi, do la stf
tap trung ldn vao nhung thay doi hanh vi m ang tinh d£c thu.
N goai ra, vi§c ap dat nhung hanh vi dUQc coi la chuan, dUQc chap
nhan chung trong xa hoi cho nhieu doi tUQng la khong hoan toan
phu hQp vdi phUQng phap nay.
Tham van hanh vi thudng dien ra trong m oi tru dn g t y nhien
(m oi tru dn g song th y c cua than chu) nhung co kiem soat. li do la
nhung vu dn g m ac, kho khan hay roi nhieu cua than chu phai
dUQc di'eu chinh d nQi no xay ra, chu1 khong phai tai van phong
nha tham van. T hu c chat cua tham van hanh vi la qua trinh giao
due, trong do than chu hQC cac ki nang t y di'eu chinh, phat trien
cac cach thu’c ung xir m di. Phoi hQp nhung k i thu£t cy the de tang
tinh hi£u qua cua tham van.
M oi quan h£ cua tham van hanh vi giua nha tham van va than
chu la m oi quan h? m ang tinh hQp tac hieu biet. Than chu la
ngudi chu dQng tham gia mQt cach co hieu biet vao qua trinh
tham van. N ha tham van va than chu cim g chia se nhung kien
thu’c ve van d'e. N goai ra, than chii dUQc th on g tin ve th y c tr^ng
van d'e, nhung tien trien d y kien trong qua trinh tham van. Than
chu thudng dUQc huan luyen cac ki nang de hQ co the bien qua
trinh di'eu chinh thanh t y di'eu chinh, bat dau hay tiep ty c mQt
chuon g trinh tu di'eu chinh tai gia va biet danh gia ket qua ciia sy
t y di'eu chinh.

Cach tiep can m ang tinh t y hudng dan, t y kiem soat nay
khien cho than chu biet cach giai quyet van d'e se xay ra trong
tUQng lai m a khon g can s y co m at cua nha tham van. Than chii
dUQc trang bi “cong c y ” de thay doi va cam thay s y tin tud n g hdn
vao ban than m inh. Tham van theo phUQng phap ung xu nhan
m anh tam quan t r Q n g ciia mdi quan h? chac chan va quan tam
giua nha tham van va than chii. Di'eu nay cho phep xay d y n g niem
C H U O N G 3: Cac If th uye t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam li 177

tin trong m oi quan he than thien va nha tham van co du kha

nang, co ccf hgi ldn hon de xac djnh van d'e cua than chu.
N goai ra, di'eu quan trQng doi vdi nha tham van la CQng tac
trtfc tiep vdi than chu trong van de va cac ki thuat de co the xac
djnh van de cua than chu mQt cach tot nhat. N ha tham van cung
phai hoat dQng n h u mQt nha khoa hQC co m yc dich trQ giup than
chu xac dinh tinh thu dn g trtfc, keo dai, m anh m e cua hanh vi can
dUQc thay doi va giup than chu nhan dien qua trinh tir cai nhin co
m yc dich. Tir do, than chii nhan thay d nha tham van mQt con
ngudi quan tam , day nhan ai, ngudi co the lang nghe tich ctfc,
nhan dien van d'e va hudng dan cho hQ ve ki thuat de dat tdi
nhung m uc tieu ciia tham van.
H ien nay nhi'eu nha tham van, tri lieu cho rang rat kho co
the noi phUQng phap tiep can nao la tot nhat, hieu qua nhat vdi
than chii va nan d'e cua hQ. M oi phep tiep can deu phii hQp vdi
mQt vai loai nan d'e nhat dinh. Vi dy phUQng phap tri lieu phan
tam doi hoi stf h y sinh ve thdi gian, tien bac, nhtfng cam ket ca
nhan va diem noi bat cua tri lieu phan tam la mQt qua trinh trj
lieu lau dai. N h u vay khong phai than chii nao cung co di'eu kien
theo dUQc. Cach tiep can than chu trQng tam dUQc ap d yn g rQng
rai tron g tham van ve quan he gitfa cha me va con cai. Dac biet,
cach tiep can nay rat thich hQp cho giai doan dau trong stf can
thiep giai quyet van de khiing hoang. T rong khi do, li thuyet cua
tiep can A d lerian dUQc tfng d yn g rQng rai trong giao due, dinh
h u dn g loi song cho tre. N goai ra, tri lieu A dlerian rat li tudn g
trong tham van quan he gitfa cha m e va con cai va giai quyet cac
van d'e ciia hon nhan va gia dinh. Con nhtfng k i th u at trj lieu
G estalt tfng du n g rat co hieu qua trong xa h(n hoa ca nhan, ttf
chii ca nhan, gan ket ca nhan, co ich trong lam viec vd i vQ chong
co xu n g dQt va gia dinh co van d'e... N hung no lai rat it tac d yn g
doi vd i nhtfng ca m a khach hang dang d trong tran g thai lo hai
tram trQng.
V i?c im g d y n g ciia tiep can cam xuc hQp li va nhan thtfc -
hanh vi thich hQp vdi cac khach hang co m oi lo au vua phai, roi
178 GIAO TRINH T H A M V A N TAM U

loan tinh cach, co van d'e than kinh, roi loan an uong, cac ki
n£ng lien nhan cach kem , cac van de hon n h an , cdc ki nang ve
nuoi day con cai, s y ham m e va roi loan tinh dye. M o hinh nay
hi?u qua nhat vd i nhung khach han g co kh a n an g su y luan tot va
nhung n gu di k h on g bj roi loan nghiem t r Q n g . Lfng dung thong
d y n g nhat cua Beck ve trj lieu nhan thu’c la tro n g trj lieu tram
cam ; tro n g viec h u dn g dan con ngudi cach thu’c che n g y trang
thai cang thang.
Con trj lieu hanh vi dUQc ung d yn g rQng rai doi vd i nhung
khach h an g m ong m uon co dUQc nhung th ay doi hanh vi d$c
thu, do la roi lo an am sQ; cam giac tuyet VQng; roi lo an tinh dye;
roi nhieu tre em; di'eu trj nhung benh lien quan den tim , hoa giai
stress, di'eu chinh hanh vi.
S a <36 ti§p can trong tham v3n1

Tiep can Tiep cgn

Phan tam Nha tham van dien gidi Nhan thtic
A. Freud A. Ellis
van
van
khong huefng

hudng dan

C a c q u a n d ie m tie p
Nhd tham
dan
Nhd tham

c^ n t r o n g t h a m v a n

r r t • a/ a
Tiep cg.n Than chu dien gidi Tiep cgn
Nhan van vd tu kham pha Hanh vi
C. Rogers W. Glasser

T rong giai doan hien nay, vdi sU m d rQ ng ve cach nhin da van

hoa thi quan diem "chiet tru n g " tro n g thu’c hanh tham van co the
la co y nghia hQn ca. Co the dua ra mQt vi d y v'e tinh da nang

1 Kathryn Geldard va David Geldard, Cong tac tham van tre em , Dai hoc Md,
Thanh pho Ho Chi Minh, 2000. Phong theo so do trang 75 va da duyc Tran Thi
Minh Du’c va Le Lan Phirong bo sung them phan cac tiep cijn.
C H U O N G 3: Cac If th u y e t tiep can ca nhan trong th am van tam li 179

tro n g cach n h in v'e q u an d iem tiep djin tro n g th am van nhir sau:
Khi th a n ch u co van d'e, n ha th am van xac dinh cac h an h vi m an g
tin h tri^u chtfng, nhir: stf am anh lo au vi ch on g ngo^ii tinh, sd
n g u y h iem , sd d irong dau ve van de li hon; th ieu sin h ltfc, th ieu
d png c o tro n g h a n h d on g, stf su y ngam ve gia din h v a nhtfng lo
la n g k h a c, stf kem t£p tru n g tro n g con g viec ch u yen m on , nhtfng
m au th u a n d o n g ngh iep ; stf phu th u o c vao ngtfdi ch on g, phu
th u o c va o stf ch ap th u$n cu a m e.... Sau khi liet ke cac trieu chtfng,
nha th a m van sap xep nhtfng kh o kh an cua th an chu va o cac
n h om va n de v a d ien giai, xem xet cac q u an h e n h an qua. Q u a do
lien k e t cac n h o m trie u chtfng vd i stf th am k h a o ve li th u yet tiep
c$n. V i d y , lo n g ttf tro n g de b j ton thtfOng (tiep c$n n h an van);
h ay nhtfng x u n g d ot q u y en ttf trj (tam d on g h oc); ho£c co n g viec
be tre, m au th u a n gia d in h (tiep c£n G estalt) v.v... Stf dieu chinh
n ay h o a n to a n can ctf va o d jn h htfdng li th u yet cu a ca n h an nha
th am van . T o m lai, v ie c stf d y n g cach thtfc tiep c&n n ao p h y th u oc
rat n h ieu q u a n d iem n h in nh£n va n de cua n h a th a m van . V a, d
m ot chtfng m tfc n h at d jn h no p h y th u o c ch in h vao van de cua
than chu. V i cac v a n de k h a c nhau lu o n co cach cach tiep c£n hieu
qua k h a c n h au .
180 G I A O T R IN H T H A M V A N T A M U

C AU HOI O N T A P CHlftJNG 3

1. H a y trin h b a y th u y e t p h at trien n h u cau con n g u d i, thuyet

p h a t trie n ta m li xa h oi cu a con ngtfdi v a th u y e t gan bo me
- con. N eu nhtfng irng d u n g cu a ca c th u y e t n a y tro n g thi «j
h a n h th a m van .
2. T rin h b a y trtfd n g p h ai tiep c£n ca n h a n tr o n g th a m van:
tiep can T a m d Q n g hoc, tiep c£n N h a n va n , tiep can Nh£n
th u ’c v a tiep c^n H an h vi.
3. H a y chi ra n htfn g k h a c bi£t tro n g tfng d y n g thtfc te cac
trtfd n g p h ai nay.
 CHUUNG4
NHA THAM VAN VA THAN CHU
TRONG MOI QUAN HE THAM VAN TAM Li

Quan he tham van la quan he ma & do than chu thich ting dan
dwcfc v&i van de ciia minh, tti do than chu co kha nang tu" dinh
hw&ng va gidi quyet. Chia se van de cua than chu khdng phai de
nhd tham van tr& thanh mot ngw&i ban vd dwa ra quyet djnh cho
than chu, lam than chu luon phu thuoc vao nhd tham van, md
phai giup than chu hieu dwac nhting dong ccf vd thtic ciia ho. Vi
vay, nhd tham van phai giti khoang cach vd do trung lap, khdng
bao gi& nhin nhan van de ciia than chii tti quan diem cd nhan vd
trong moi quan he tham van luon luon giti moi l&i noi vd hanh
dong hw&ng vao qua trinh trW&ng thanh cua than chii.

(Raymond Lloyd Richmond)

Trong chirong nay chim g toi se lam sang to hinh anh nha
tham van vd i tu" cach la mQt con ngirdi can bang va la mQt nha
tham van chuyen nghiep vdi nhirng pham chat ciia ngh'e trQ giup
tam li. Vi£c phan tich quan ni£m v'e than chii va nan d'e cua hQ,
cung nhu cac cQ che phong v£ ca nhan khi co nan d'e se giup
chung ta cd cai nhin tich ctfc v'e m oi quan h? trQ giup. Cuoi cimg,
quan diem than chii trong tam trong qua trinh tham van dtfQc
chung toi vgn dung de phan tich moi quan h<? trong tham van.

I. nh A t h a m v a n l a c o n n g i / cxi c A n b A n g

l. Cdi tdi

T rtfd c kh i n oi v e “con ngtfdi can b an g tro n g con ngtfdi cua

nha th a m v a n ” , ch im g toi xin bat dau ttf kh ai ni£m “C ai to i” . Cai
toi la mQt p h a m trii m a n g dac d iem ca nhan, th e hi£n nhtfng danh
gia v e b a n th a n d tfdi an h htfd ng ciia boi can h xa hQi. K hai niem
182 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

c a i t o i b a o g o m m Q t t o hQp c o m Q t k h o n g h a i c a c d £ c t n m g the
c h a t v a t a m li c u a m Q t c a n h a n t r o n g d i e u ki<?n, h o a n c a n h x a hgi
x a c d j n h c y the.

Khai nipm cai toi bao ham mQt cach nhin hai chi'eu c^nh:
Chi'eu c<mh ca nhan m a m oi ngtfdi ttf bay to m inh la ai (hay con gQi
la cai toi ca nhan) va chieu canh xa hQi dtfQc xac djnh bdi cac quy
tac, chuan m yc m a ca nhan khi tham gia vao cac m oi quan he xa
hQi hQ phai th y c hi§n cac vai xa h(?i nhu* mQi ngudi m ong dai (hay
con gQi la cai toi xa h§i). Hai chieu c^nh nay thong nhat bi£n chtfng
vdi nhau trong qua trinh hinh thanh va phat trien nhan cach con
ngirdi. Khai ni<?m cai toi dUQc phat trien tir s y so sanh xa hQi, so
sanh vdi ngirdi khac. Chung ta t y so sanh m inh vdi "nhirng ngudi
quan trQng khac". Khi ca nhan soi m inh vao ngudi khac de nh£n
biet ban than va hanh xir theo s y chd dQi cua xa h<?i thi ta gQi la
“Cai toi lang k in h ”. N htf v£y, stf tim kiem hinh anh ban than trong
qua trinh tnrdng thanh cua ca nhan phy thuQC vao danh gia cua
nhtfng ngtfdi xung quanh, d$c bi?t la nhtfng ngtfdi m a ca nhan cam
thay co gia tri vdi m inh. Vi dy, phy ntf danh gia ban than minh
thong qua “Cai toi lang kinh ” cua nam gidi. Co khong it phy nir
cam thay khong hai long vdi ban than, hQ luon ttf trach m inh chi vi
trong con m at cua nam gidi hQ trd nen “beo qu a”, h ay “thieu ntf
tin h ”! N htf v£y, thong qua kinh nghi?m cua ban than, dac bi?t la
anh htfdng cua ngtfdi khac m a ca nhan nh£n ra minh: Toi la ai? Toi
se la ngtfdi nhtf the nao? H q m uon toi la ngtfdi nhtf the nao?...

H inh anh ban than la cach m oi ngtfdi h inh dung minh la

ngtfdi nhtf the nao. Stf hinh dung v'e hinh anh ban than thtfdng
lien quan den vi£c ca nhan xem xet y nghi va thai dQ, cac gia trj
cung nhtf vi£c cam nh^n ve di£n m$o ben ngoai cua minh- Di'eu
nay lien quan den stf ty y thtfc cua m oi ngtfdi. Theo cac nha tam li
hQC, hinh anh ban than la nhtfng gia trj, niem tin m a chung ta
nghi ve ban than va cach chung ta song vdi nhgn thtfc rang do la
yeu to quan trQng nhat quvet djnh chat ltfQng c u q c son g cua
m inh. V i d y, mQt ngtfdi trong qua trinh tnrdng than h da ttf gan
nhan cho m inh la "ngu dot", hay "xau xi", thi du hQe van co dtfQc
cai thi£n, ngo^i hinh da dtfQc "chinh stfa" nhtfng anh ta van kho
 C H U O N G 4: Nha th am van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li | 183

thay doi cAi nhin tieu eye ve ban than, vi anh ta da “lap trin h ” cho
tiem thu’c nhirng phan tfng nhtf xau ho khi giao tiep vdi ngtfdi
khac. N htf vay, anh ta da khong thay doi dtfdc nhan thtfc ve ban
than m inh.

H inh anh ban than bj quy djnh bdi ngtfdi khac - bdi chuan
mtfc xa hgi. Khi ca nhan hanh dQng theo stf chd dpi cua xa hQi, ca
nhan se dirge khen nggi, ung hg. Hanh dQng nay lap di lap lai trd
thanh mQt phan nhan cach cua con ngudi.

Hinh anh ban than con phu thugc ldn vao ki vQng cua moi
ngtfdi. N eu ca nhan doi hoi cao d ban than, hQ se dat dtfQc nhtf
m ong m uon. N eu ca nhan cho rang m inh kem cdi, hQ se khong co
kha nang, dQng ltfc de hanh dQng, vi vay hQ khong thanh dat.

M at khac, hinh anh ban than cd anh htfdng den tinh chat
quan he cua ca nhan. MQt thai dQ tieu ctfc ve ban than se khien ca
nhan li giai tieu ctfc vd i cac tac dQng ben ngoai den ban than.

N go a i ra, h in h anh b an th an con b i anh h u d n g b d i gid i tinh.

Khi ca n h a n n g h i m in h la nam gid i h a y ntf g id i thi hQ se ly giai stf
kien va h a n h dQng th eo k h u o n m au gid i m a xa h g i m on g dQi.

2 . Con ngwdi cdn bang

De hoat dQng tot trong linh \-tfc trQ giup tam li con ngtfdi, nha
tham van trtfdc tien phai y thtfc ro ve cai toi cua minh va co stf can
bang tam tri. Stf can bang tam tri giup cho nha tham van nhin van
de cua than chu m gt cach khach quan. Ngtfdi can bang la ngudi co
kha nang ttf giai quyet cac van de cua minh ma khong can den stf
giup dd cua ngtfdi khac. Stfc khoe tam li va stfc khoe cQ the la hai tru
CQt tao nen con ngtfdi can bang. Con ngtfdi can bang dtfQc xem xet
ttf nhieu binh dien khac nhau, khi mQt binh dien nao do true trac
cung co the lam con ngirdi mat can bang. Dtfdi day la cach nhin ve
mQt con ngtfdi can bang va binh thtfdng theo quan diem cua J.
Godefroid. Theo ong , ngtfdi can bang la ngtfdi1:

Nhirng con dir&ng tam li hoc tap 3, NXB Pierre Mardage Liege - Bruxelles,
1 J o .G o d e fro id ,
198". Trung tam nghien ciru Tam li tre em, tr.149, tu sach NT, 1998.
18 4 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- Tren binh dien the chat, ngirdi can bang co mQt cQ the khoe
m^nh, mQt the trang tot va chiu dyn g dUQc m et nhQC.

- Tren binh dien tinh dye, la

ngirdi cd the thiet lap mQt cach
hai long trong m oi quan he than
tinh vdi nhung ngtfdi khac, biet
quan tam khong thai qua den viec
thoa m an nhtfng nhu cau tinh dye
cua m inh trong stf nhay cam va
chu y tdi nhtfng nhu cau cua doi
tac cung minh.
- Tren binh dien tri tue, do
la ngtfdi co the suy nghi va hanh
dQng mQt cach htfu hieu. H q biet
nhtfng kha nang cua m inh va
biet ren luyen de dat dtfQc m yc
dich da dinh trong mQt thdi gian
hQp li. H q co oc ttfdng ttfQng va
thich sang tao.
HQn bao gi& het bay gid toi
hieu the nao la stf chan that v&i
ban than, stf can bang noi tam,
va stf dtfcfng dau. Khi ta khong
cam nhan dtf&c noi tam cua
minh thi cung se khdng the hieu
dtfQc ngtf&i khac. Toi khong
cdn ban long xem ngtf&i khac se
nghi gi ve toi ntfa. Toi tran
trong nhtfng thtf tot dep ma
minh co, san se va khdng
ngting boi dap cho no trd nen
giau co hQn. Do la cach tdi song
cdn bang. (BTTM, K49, bao cao
thtfc tap tham van)

- Tren binh dien cam xuc, hQ tUQng doi on dinh, kh on g qua ty

tin, khong qua lo lang, biet dtfQng dau vdi stf khon g m ay va khong
bieu 1q stf that vQng qua dang, biet gitf gin stf tuoi tinh khien ho
vo ttf. Hq yeu m en ban than va nhin m inh vd i m oi thien cam
trong khi van gitf dtfQc stf hom hinh de tran h ra i vao trang thai
qua nghiem nghi.

- Tren binh dien dao dtfc, ngtfdi can ban g luon co khuynh
htfdng tin vao stf li giai cua m inh, dtfa tren nhtfng ctf lieu khach
quan hQn la dtfa vao nhtfng danh gia ben ngoai. H anh vi ciia ho
luon tuan theo nhtfng chuan mtfc xa hQi mQt cach ttf nguyen vdi
mQt y chi vtfng m anh. H q luon s&n sang thtfa nhan nhtfng sai Tam
cua m inh.

- T ren b in h dien xa hQi, hQ lu o n cam th a y de ch iu kh i doi mat

vd i nhtfn g n gtfdi k h a c v a cam g ia c dtfQc stf thtfa n h an cua ngtfdi
k h a c doi v d i m in h . N h tfn g p h an tfng ciia hQ it kh i co stf tinh toan
v a stf ttf n h ien n a y g iu p hQ de d an g giao tiep v d i n h tfn g ngtfdi
xu n g q u an h .
C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam If 185

- T ren b in h di£n nhan cach, do la con ngirdi la c quan yeu

cuqc son g, hQ lu o n co tam tran g vu i ve, hon n hien. D o la mQt
nhan cach ch in ch an , ttf chu trtfdc cac cam xuc, la ngtfdi b iet chap
nh£n nhtfn g trach nhi£m , kh on g tu" choi trtfdc nhtfng n g u y nan.

La ngudi binh thtfdng, ngtfdi can bang ca nhan cho phep

minh song vdi nhtfng sai sot cua m inh, vdi nhtfng ung xtf khong
phai luc nao cung de thich nghi. Trong nhtfng tinh huong nhu vay
ca nhan biet stf d yn g nhtfng cQ che t t f v£ khac nhau hoac phat
trien m Q t so net tinh cach dUQc chap nhan. Do khong dat dtfQc stf
can bang day du, nhtfng ca nhan van gitf dtfQc thai dQ phe phan
trtfdc nhtfng phan tfng cua m inh va co kha nang che gieu chung
neu gap dip.

N h tf va y, "tieu ch u an " dau tien de trd th a n h n h a th a m van doi

hoi ca n h an p h ai la m Q t con n gu d i b in h th u d n g - ngtfdi can b an g
tron g cuqc son g. T u y n h ien k h o n g phai lu c n ao ca n h an t r d than h
ngtfdi trQ g iu p ta m li cu n g co m Q t tin h th an k h o e kho&n. D oi khi
stf "k h o n g b in h th tfd n g", k h o n g th an h th a i ve tam hon lai la
nguyen n h an k h ie n ai do th eo dudi n ghe trQ giu p tam li.

Khi ban ve van de dQng cQ chQn ngh'e tham van, W itm er va

Young (19 9 6 )1 neu ra nhtfng dQng cQ tieu ctfc va sai l£ch cua mQt
so ngudi da m ac phai khi m uon trd thanh mQt nha tham van:

- Cd van d'e try c trac v'e m at tinh cam. Khi hQ co nhtfng khuc m ac
tinh cam chtfa dtfQc giai quyet ttf thdi th a au hay trong qua khtf.

- H q co dan va song thieu lien ddi vdi xa hQi. H q khong co

ban be va thtfdng mtfQn qua trinh tham van nhtf mQt thay the cho
nhu cau co ban be.

- Tham VQng co quyen ltfc. Hq la ngtfdi khong thanh cong

trong cuqc song (khong nhat thiet phai co nhi'eu tien m di la co
thanh cong), vi vay hQ m ong dtfQc kiem soat ngtfdi khac.

- Co nhu cau tinh yeu. H q la nhtfng ngudi qua yeu ban than,
co thai dQ ttf hao thai qua, tin ttfdng mQi kho khan deu co the giai

1 Dan theo N gu yen Thcr Sinh, Tu van tam li ca ban, N XB Lao dong, 2 0 cr
186 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

quyet dirge bang tinh yeu va do chinh kha nang cua hQ. D ay la hoi
chtfng m uon m inh la anh hung, ctfu vdt dtfgfc ca the gidi.

- Hq co thai dQ vu n g vang, m uon chong doi cuqc dcfi mQt cach

gian tiep. Hq la ngtfdi co van d'e ve quan he ca nhan nao do, giai
quyet khong thoa dang, nay m uon dem ra de ap d£t len than chu
trong qua trinh ttf van.

- Tim den stf an nhan. H q nghi rang ngh'e Ttf van la nghe chi
ngoi van phong noi chuyen va dem tien.

- Tim danh VQng. H q tin rang, lam ngh'e tham van dtfQc xep
vao nghe nghiep sang trQng, cao quy va ljch stf.

Di'eu cQ ban d'au tien can co de trQ thanh nha tham van do la
m ong m uon giup dQ ngtfdi khac. Neu khong vi nhtfng li do tren,
ca nhan di vao ngh'e tham van hQ se hoan toan that bai. D on gian
vi khi trd thanh nha tham van hQ se khong dap tfng dtfQc nhtfng
khat khao tren. Trai lai, tac hai cua stf that VQng se trd thanh chat
dQc, pha huy cuqc song cua hQ va cua ngtfdi khac chi vi hQ co stf
chon Itfa sai lam .
! — I
Trong mot dip di cong tac & Phap (nam 2005) toi tinh ca gap
mot ntf sinh vien ten X, hoc nganh Tam li hoc. X von la mot sinh
vien hoc toan tin kha tot. Sau khi hoc het nam I co da quyet dinh
bo nganh Tin hoc de chuyen sang nganh Tam li hoc. Khi biet tdi
cung nghe, X da rat vui va chung toi trd thanh "dong nghiep".
M ac d ii hoc rat ban nhung X luon tim moi thdi gian ma chung toi
co dtfQc de chia se v'e ngh'e trey giup tam li. Trd chuyen nhieu hefn,
toi d u 'Q 'c biet dong ccf chuyen nganh cua X chi lien quan den viec
"Muon cd hieu biet ve tam li con ngtfdi de ttf kham pha ban i
than"va mong muon nay da xuat hien sau khi co gap mot stf kien
bat n g d gay sang chan tam li...

Bon thang sau fan gap nhau do, tinh cd toi nhan dir<lc mot
cu dien thoai cua X. Co noi dang ve phep dot ngot vi li do .’a o'
Phap dang co bao loan (Thtfc te vao thdi diem do bao chi Viet
Nam cimg dtfa tin d Phap dang co cdc cuoc bieu tinh. dot xc. j .
Trong cau chuyen co noi la cd y djnh trd ve Viet Nam h o c t \ p
C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he tham van tam li 187

nganh Tam li hQe, tai Khoa Tam li hQC, Ha Noi. M ac dii co la

ngitcfi a Thanh pho Ho Chi M inh! Sau dd X cung khong co dong
thdi gi cho viec xin hoc tam li & Ha N qi. Sau nay toi khong co dip
lien he v&i X nen khong ro X co cdn theo hoc Tam li hoc & Phap?

Trong cuoc song doi khi chimg ta bj mot sit kien qua l&n tac dong
bat ng& gay nen nhitng ton thwang tam li. V&i mot so ngW&i doi
khi day lai la li do de ho muon hoc tam li hoc, nhitng tw&ng kien
thirc tam li hoc se giup ho tw giiip ban than, tit kham pha the gi&i
noi tam ciia minh vd qua do ho cd the giiip dwac cho nhwng
ngw&i khac cimg canh. Tren thwc te, dang le cdc cd nhan nay cdn
den nhitng ca s& cd tra giiip tam li dedw ac tham van, trj lieu cho
van de ciia minh trW&c khi tr& thanh ngw&i giiip d& tam li cho
ngw&i khac.

N hu1v£y, de trd thanh nha tham van chuyen nghiep, yeu cau
dau tien la ngudi do phai co mQt s y can bang, khoe m anh ve tam
tri, d^o du’c va xa h(?i. That kho co the trQ giup cho ngudi khac
giai thoat nhim g roi loan tam li, trong khi chinh nha tham van
dang co nhim g ton th u on g tam li, hay co nhan cach ma ngudi
khac cho la "khong binh thudng". Dieu nay tra ldi cho cau hoi ve
dQng cQ chQn nganh cua mQt so ngudi khi lua chQn hQC ngh'e trQ
giup tam li. Kinh nghiem ngh'e tam li chi ra rang, chung ta that
kho co the trd thanh ngudi trQ giup tam li tot, khi trong qua khur
ta gap kho khan tam lv va tir choi cQ h<?i trd thanh than chu.

II. N H A T H A M V A N L A N G l/ O I H A N H N G H E C H U Y E N
N G H IE P

l. N hd tham van

Hieu theo nghia trQ giup thong thudng thi ngudi nao cung co
the trd thanh "nha tham van", vi hQ deu co kha nang giup dd
ngudi khac theo cach nay hay cach khac vdi nhung m uc dQ hieu
qua khac nhau. Theo A lexander (19 6 4), bat ki ai dang co gang
cam thong vdi mQt ngirdi khac dang dau kho hoac co tran an mQt
dira tre dang h oang sQ, thi cung co the xem ngudi ay dang th yc
hanh tham van hay trj lieu tam li. N gudi do dang co gang v£n
188 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

dung cac phtfOng thu’c ttfOng tac ve mat tam H de bao ton trang
thai thang bang ve m at cam xuc d mpt ngtfcfi khac. N htfng cach
thu’c thong thtfdng nay chu yeu dtfpc dtfa tren nhtfng stf hieu biet
co tinh trtfc giac hPn la stf hieu biet cd tinh khoa hpc. Khi ban noi
chuyen vd i ai do dang co tam trang phien m upn, ban cung co the
tu nhien hieu dupe tac dung tot cua viec giup cho ngtfdi ay giai
toa cam xuc. V d i m pt ngtfdi dang trong tran g thai hoang sp, quan
tri, ban cung co the (bang stf hieu biet co tinh trtfc giac) m ang den
cho ngtfdi ay stf ho trp v'e mat cam xuc ban g nhirng ldi khuyen va
mpt thai dp vtfng chai de ngtfdi ay co the tin ttfdng nUPng ttfa vao
ban. Ban cung cd the da biet rang khi mpt ngudi dang bi chim
ngap trong mpt tinh huong co tinh nguy hiem , dang sp thi ngtfdi
ay khong the sir dung dupe li tri ciia m inh m pt cach hieu qua, va
ban can giup anh ta on dinh bang cach n ang dd v'e m at tam li.
Trong luc noi chuyen vdi ngtfdi ay v'e hoan canh khach quan ma
anh ta dang dUPng dau, ban co the cho anh ta “m tfpn ” cong cu li
tri cua chinh ban de sir dung. Khi lam tat ca nhirng viec nay,
chung ta da thu’c hanh mpt stf phoi hpp giira hai cong viec co tinh
chat chtfa tri, do la nang dd va thau hieu.

Tham van vdi ttf cach la mpt nganh khoa hpc trp giup cac doi
tupng bi mat can bang tam li do mpt van d'e nao do gay ra, no doi
hoi ngtfdi giup dd phai qua ldp dao tao chuyen mon, nhat la qua cac
khoa hpc thu’c hanh tham van d cac cap dp khac nhau. N hin chung,
de giup dd cho cac doi ttfpng co kho khan tam li, nha tham van can
dtfpc trang bi mpt he thong kien thu’c cP ban v'e con ngtfdi, hanh vi
con ngtfdi va stf phat trien tam li qua cac giai doan lira tuoi khac
nhau; cac ki nang trp giup va cac phtfOng phap trp giup. Nhirng kien
thu’c v'e tam li hpc la khong the thieu dupe doi vdi mpt nha tham van
chuyen nghiep. N goai ra, tuy vao tim g linh vUc trp giup cu the ma
nha tham van phat trien cac kien thu’c m d rpng va chuyen sau, nhir
kien thirc v'e H IV /A ID S trong tham van cho ngtfdi co H IV /A ID S;
kien thu’c v'e bao hanh neu nha tham van di sau vao tham van bao
hanh; kien thirc v'e sire khoe sinh san hay v'e cac chat gay nghien,
neu nha tham van di sau vao cac linh vtfc do...
C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li 189

T ro n g tu" dien cua Chaplin

(1975) th u at ngtf “nha tham
v a n ” co n gh ia la “N gu di co tay
ngh'e thu’c h an h th am v a n ”. O
cac nu de co nen th am van
phat trien, cac ca nhan dupe
gpi la nha tham van khi co
trinh do toi thieu th ac si thu’c
hanh tron g ngh'e th am van.
N ha th am van la ngudi giup
dd than chii khi hr, gap van d'e
kho kh an b an g cach k h a i gdi
nhim g tiem n an g tron g ho, de than chu t y giai quyet van d'e cua
chinh m inh. D e giai quyet d u o c van d'e cua than chii, nha tham van
luon m em deo, u yen chuyen trong m oi quan he. N h a th am van phai
co du cac p h am ch at nhan cach nghe de kh on g gay ton th u an g cho
than chii va cu n g kh d n g dung dau, doi khan g h ay di ngUOc lai vd i ldi
ich cua th an chii. N h a th am van la ngudi chia se nhirng tam tu ciia
than chii, giu p than chu noi ra nhu'ng dieu vu d n g m ac trong long,
giup than chu co stf nhan thu’c tot v'e ban than de tir do co m ot cach
hanh d on g phu h o p vd i kh a nang ciia b an than trong di'eu kien hoan
canh ciia m inh.

N ha th a m va n kh on g d u o c dao tao khi gap nhung trai nghiem

dau ddn cu a kh ach h an g de dang tron tranh, phd t Id, kh u yen ho
"quen di", "dim g b u o n , roi m oi viec se qua di", "hay nhin ve phia
trudc...". T ro n g th u c te, nhung cam xuc tieu ctfc neu luon bi chon
viii, neu kh o n g dtfdc doi m at de giai quyet, thi luc n ay h a y luc khac
se dan den h anh vi tieu ctfc. H anh \i tieu ctfc luon xuat phat tir nhan
thu’c v a cam x u c tieu ctfc. N ha tham van chuyen nghiep luon y thu’c
rang nhtfng phirc tap tron g cuoc song ciia than chii kh on g the giai
quyet tro n g m ot th d i gian ngan va viec trd giup giai quyet van de
phai nam tron g sir ttf y thirc ciia chinh than chii vd i stf khcri lai
n hu ng cam xu c kh d n g \ui, nhim g ton th u a n g tam li bi chon vui
trong qua khir, h a y tro n g cac c a che phong ve cai toi ciia con ngtfdi.

De trd th an h m ot nha th am van chuyen nghiep, cac sinh vien

phai nAm d u o c cac kien thirc co lien quan tdi: lich sir va dao dire
 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

nganh tham van; moi quan he trQ giup; cong tac nhom; qua trinh
phat trien va trudng thanh cua con ngudi; ccf sd xa hoi va van hoa;
phat trien ngh'e nghiep va loi song; ltfQng gia, danh gia chtfcfng trinh
nghien cijfu. Va ho phai dtfQc hoc chuyen nganh tham van cy the
(vdi nhtfng kien thu’c v'e lich sir, vai tro va chtfc nang, cac ki nang dac
trtfng cua chuyen nganh do). Ngoai ra, hQ phai thtfc hanh cac ki
nang va kien thifc da dtfQc day (vi du thtfc hanh va thtfc tap noi tru).

Khi lam viec vcfi than chu,

Trong thdi gian thtfc tap d Phdng
doi kh i xu at hien n h im g van
Tham van Hoa Sira, tdi dtfQc
de tam li buQC cac n ha tham ngoi quan sat m Q t ca t h a m van.
van phai doi dien vcfi chung. Tdi cam thay van de cua than
Di'eu n ay chu yeu xuat phat tir chu rat la lam, tham chi co luc
stf thieu tin ttfcfng ciia nha thay no buon ctfdi vi khong nghi
th am van doi vcfi th an chu, trong thdi dai bay g id co chuyen
h oac van de cua th an chu n h u cha m ? dfnh trtfdc ngtfdi yeu cho
con cdi da trtfdng t h a n h . Chinh
"cuTa" vao noi dau tin h than
viec chtfa chap nhan than chu dd
ciia chinh nha th am van , noac
khien tdi hao hire nghe. M ac dii
xuat phat tir ch in h stf thieu
biet minh d vai trd quan sat md
b an linh, th ieu trai nghiem tdi van muon xen vao cau chuyen
cua nha th am van. C ac van de ciia than chii vd tdi dd dat cau
tam ly n a y sinh d n ha th am hoi cho than chii de thoa m a n to
van co the la: md cua ban than. Khi do tdi chQt
nhan thay than chii khdng cdn
• Cam giac khong an toan
thoai mdi trd chuyen nir a. Trong
ve than chu. V i dy v6i
vai trd ciia ngtfdi quan sat ca tdi
mQt than chu bi lam d yn g
cam thay viec chap nhan van de
tinh due bdi ngtfefi than ciia than chii vd trai nghiem nd
trong gia dinh, hoac
nhtfng than chu bi bao hanh gia dinh trien m ien, nha tham
van thtfdng co cam giac lo sQ than chu cua m inh song trong
m oi trtfcfng khong dtfQc bao ve. T u y nhien nha tham van kho
cd the "keo" than chu ra khoi m oi quan he gia dinh ciia hQ. Vi
va y nha tham van thtfdng rQi vao trang thai cang th&ng, "bat
on" ve van de cua than chu.

• C am x u c tifc gia n do th an chu kh d n g dtfQng d au . k h d n g chiu

trach n h iem v'e h a n h vi ciia b an th an , d o th a n ch ii la ngtfefi le
thuQ C, k h d n g cd d o n g th ai ch o viec th a y doi n an de ciia m in h .
C H U O N G 4: N ha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li 191

• N ha tham van co m ac cam tQi loi do cam giac bat ltfc vdi ban
than trtfdc van de ciia than chii.

• N ha th am van co m on g m uon bao ve than chu. Cam giac m uon

dtfQc b ao bQC, che ch o (dac biet vdi tre em la nan nhan cua stf
bao han h) doi khi lam cho cac tham van vien can thiep qua sau
vao c u q c son g rieng ttf cua than chu.

• N ha tham van khi lam viec vdi than chii cung co the rai vao
tr^ng thai phong ve do nhtfng van de cua than chu gQi lai van
de ca nhan cua nha tham van. Nhirng qua khur m a chinh nha
tham van, mQt cach vo thu’c khong m uon nhac den, nay no lai
dUQc lap lai or cac than chu ciia m inh. Day la mQt thach thu’c
m a ngtfefi vao nghe trQ giup can phai hoc cach dtfQng dau vdi
ban than thong qua bieu hien gian tiep d than chu.

T h y c te de tr d th a n h mQt nha th am va n ch u y en n g h iep la rat

kho. C o n g v ie c cu a n h a th a m van la lu on doi m at vd i nhtfng van
de p h u t tap v a ca n g th a n g . N htfng van d'e m a b an th an th an chu
cu n g k h o n g m u o n d o i m at, kh o n g m u on k h o et sau th em nhtfng
trai n g h iem d au b u o n ciia m inh va can g k h o n g de khi p h ai th ay
doi n h an th u’c, tin h cam , h an h vi cua m in h - nhtfng q u an niem ,
thoi q uen tao n en b a n tin h hQ.

2. Cac pham chat tam li cua nhd tham van

Cdc nghien citu lan kinh nghiem tham van khdng djnh rang
ngirdi ta dU<Jc giup dd tot nhat bdi nhirng ngirdi co d d c tinh
nhir quan tam, yeu thircrng, nhiet tinh vd thau hieu.

(Anthony Y eo )

Pham chat cua nha tham van khong chi la dao du’c con ngtfdi
de doi nhan xtf the d ddi, xir the vdi than chu cua m inh, m a quan
trQng h an , nd cdn la mQt cong cy, mQt phuon g tien quan trQng
nhat de hanh nghe tham van. Pham chat cua nha tham van dem
lai nhi'eu lQi ich cho ngh'e nghiep, cho khach hang va cho chinh
nha tham van. C y the do la:
T a n g u y tin ngh'e n gh iep .
DtfQc b in h d a n g tro n g quan he d on g n gh iep .
19 2 Giao trinh T h a m van tam h

K hSng d in h d u p e v\ tri ngh'e n gh iep cu a b an than .

B ao v? d u p e k h a ch hang.

C arl R o g ers (19 5 7) cho rang, nhtfng p h am ch at tam li ciia nha

th am van la can th ie t tro n g viec tao dtfng dtfpc m oi tU Png giao tin
ca y vcfi th an chii. K ha n an g n ay phai dupe x a y dtfng dtfa tren ba
ph am ch at cP b an ciia nha th am van. D o la: Stf tru n g thtfc, Ton
tro n g vo di'eu kien v a T h au h ieu trpn ven . Do cu n g la nhirng thai
dp, nhtfng gia tri ch in h yeu tro n g th am va n th eo q u an diem ciia
trtfcfng p h ai T a m li hpc n han van . Ba p h a m ch at n a y hau nhir
dupe n h a c d en doi vcfi tat ca cac n ha th a m va n ch u y en nghiep. Co
th e d ien giai b a p h a m ch at cP b an n a y n h u s a u 1:

- C h a p nhan than chu

C h ap n h an la stf nh iet tin h ton trp n g th a n ch ii n h u m pt con

ngtfefi co gia tri ttf tai vo dieu kien, b at ke h a n h vi, dia vi h oac thai
dp ciia ngtfefi ay. C o n gh ia la to n trp n g va y e u m en ngUcfi ay nhu
m pt con ngUcri rien g b iet, m u on cho n g u d i a y co n h im g cam quan
rien g th eo cu n g cach rien g ciia n gu d i ay.

T h a n chii d u p e to n trpn g n h u m pt con ngtfefi dpc lap . dieu do

la th a n h p h an h et sire quan trpn g tro n g m oi q u an h e th am van.
C arl R o gers gpi k h a n an g ch ap n h an th a n ch u la “k h o n g gan cac
di'eu kien ran g b u y c vd i th a n ch ii”.

T hai dp nong nhiet tich ctfc va chap nhan cua nha th am van doi
vd i nhtfng gi th u pc v'e con n gudi than chii se tao ra stf th ay doi d
than chii. Di'eu n ay co nghia la nha th am van chan th an h mong
m uon than chii son g b at cir m pt cam quan nao dan g dien ra trong
lon g th an chu lu c do: sp hai, boi roi lo sp, dau ddn thii ghet, yeu
thtfpng, h an hpc tire toi, can dam h a y kin h hoang... N h tf v a y la nha
tham van quan tam den than chii theo each kh on g “chiem doat”,
kh on g “ch iem h tfu ”. C hap nhan th an chii la m pt tinh cam tich ctfc,
kh on g de dat, kh o n g p h on g ve, kh ong phe phan, kh o n g gia tao va
kh on g deo m at na ciia nha tham van.

1C. Rogers, Tien trinh thanh nhan, Sach da dan.

C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li 193

- T ru n g thu'c (ch a n than h)

T h an chu chinh la ho khi nha Nhieu tnrdng hQp, khach

th am vah chinh la m inh (Carl Rogers). hang la ngtfdi d dQ tuoi trung
T h e o Carl Rogers, trung thtfc cua nien, hg muon ttf van vien
ngtfdi lam th am van la kinh nghiem cung phai la ngtfdi co cimg do
cua ho tron g p hut nay, xuat hien tuoi vdi hQ. Thtfdng thi cac ttf
trong y thu’c va tin h cam cua ho va van vien d day sau khi nghe
phai dtfQc dien ta ra ngoai b an g hanh yeu cau lien chuyen dien
vi. D ieu n a y th o n g nhat d ca ba binh thoai cho mot ttf van vien
dien: kin h nghiem ; y thu’c va dien ta - khac tro chuyen vdi khach

chung deu an kh d p vd i nhau. Luc do hang. Thtfc te ngtfdi nay cung

nha th a m va n la m ot con ngtfdi dong tre tuoi nhtf ngtfdi kia.
nhat, n gu yen ven, vi th e d on so, m oc (MTP, K49)
mgc, kh d n g p h on g ve.

T ru n g thtfc th eo d un g nghia m a
C. R ogers de cap den la stf hQp nhat Khi than chu khoe toi kha boi
trong b in h dien y th ifc (nhan thu’c), roi nhu 1the do la chuyen cua
hanh vi v a cam xuc. Khi nha tham minh, toi muon the hien sy
vain tru n g th y c vd i b an th an m inh thong cam, muon chan an
thi d on g th d i anh ta tru n g thtfc vdi than chu. Tuy nhien toi chi
chinh th an chu cu a m inh. Va, stf the hien no qua anh mat va
trung th y c cua th an chu chi co dtfQc cam tay H de co tiep tyc tam
khi n ha th a m va n tru n g th y c vdi s y cua minh, ma khong dam
chinh b an th an m inh. N h a th am van chen ngang bang nhung ldi
trung th y c vd i th an chu kh ong co cua toi. Co le toi nen the hien
nghia la phai noi toan bo nhtfng s y thau hieu bang ldi noi
dieu m in h n gh i ve th an chu. Can nhieu hon va binh tinh hon,
cho th an chu th a y ai do (tham chi la vi dong cam khong giup dtfQc
nha th am van ) nghi gi ve than chii la gi cho H.
khdng q u an trong. V an de la than
(HTH, K49, 2007).
chu n gh i th e nao v e van de ciia
m inh. M at kh ac, n ha th am van chi co the kh u yen kh ich than chii
noi ra stf th at khi ho k h o n g qua to thai do phan xet tru d c nhtfng gi
than chii tho 1q.
19 4 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

ml A/ j *a»
- T hau hieu

N h d k i th u at lan g nghe sau sac, nha th am van co th e thau hieu

van d'e cua th an chu b an g cam xuc. T hau hieu (con gQi la thau cam)
la trai n gh iem di'eu m a th an chu dang trai nghiem , hieu dtfQc nhimg
tinh cam v a y n gh i cua ben trong cua th an chu, hieu than chu bang
ca trai tim v a b an g tri oc. Hieu hQ nhir hQ hieu b an th an hQ. Thau
hieu giup n ha th am van danh gia dirQc cam xu c cua th an chu ma
kh on g qua gan cam xu c cua m inh vao than chu de n h im g nh£n xet
cua n ha th am van diTQc khach quan hQn.

Thau h ieu (E m p a th y) khong co n g h ia la dong cam

(S ym p a th y ). D o n g cam dtfQc h ieu la n g h i va ca m nh$n giong
ngirdi kh ac. D o n g cam k h o n g p h u hQp tro n g th a m va n . N h a tham
va n k h o n g n en co cam x u c g io n g th an ch u m a n en h ie u th an chu
mQt cach ta ch b ie t vd i cac cam x u c cu a m in h 1 (k h a i niem thau
h ieu d V ie t N a m co doi b an d ich la d on g cam ).

T h a u h ieu cu a n h a th a m van la co g id i h a n . D o n gian la sy

nam bat mQt cach ro ran g di'eu m a th an ch u d a n g tra i n gh iem , ma
k h o n g p h ai la n h a th a m van h ieu h o n th a n ch u v'e va n d'e ciia hQ.
V i th e, co th e noi, th au h ieu la mQt tien trin h ch ia se, la sir thong
d at ch o n h au v'e tiTtirdng, cam xu c d m ire dQ cao n h a t, h ieu nhim g
gi th a n chu d a n g su y nghi, d an g noi d en d eu co lie n q u an den
k in h n g h iem , d en cam x u c cu a th an ch u. N h a th a m va n p h ai dien
ta di'eu th a n ch ii trin h b a y b a n g n gon tir de la m sa n g to ch o ca hai
b en . K h o n g p h a i la h ie u h e t tat ca va n d'e v a co n ngirdi ciia than
chu, m a h ieu ca c tam tin h , th ai dQ x u a t p h a t tir su" k ien do, ngay
tro n g lu c th a n ch u doi dien v d i n h a th a m van .

T h au h ieu la n ha th am van nhin the gid i cua than chii nhir tir
ben tron g nhin ra; cam th ay the gidi rieng cua than chii nhir la the
gidi rieng cua m inh va di'eu n ay coi nhir la di'eu kien cot yeu cua
th am van. N h a th am van cam th ay su1gian dir, su" sQ hai va su" boi roi
ciia th an chii nhu" the la ciia chinh m inh (nha th am van ), n h im g nha

1 UNICEF Vitjt Nam , Tai lieu tap huan v'e cong tac tham van, Phan nghe thuijt
dong cam.
C H l f O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he tham van tam li | 195

tham van lai kh on g co va kh on g de stf gian dir, s y s y hai, s y h&n doi

cua m inh xen vao trong cau chuyen cua than chu (Carl Rogers).

N g o a i b a p h am ch at co b an cua nha th a m van da dtfQc

C. R o gers n h an m an h & tren, E.D. N eu k ru g (19 9 9 ) b o su n g them
nam p h a m ch at k h a c ntfa, do la:

- N a n g life ch u y en m on

X em xet ve n an g ly c ch u yen m on cua n ha th a m van , A n th o n y

Y eo (2 0 0 5 0 ) cho ra n g co n h im g ngtf&i k h a n g k h a n g cho ran g tat
ca nhirng gi ch u n g ta can de giu p ngtf&i co n an de chi la mQt tam
lon g n h an hau . H q li lu a n ran g n h u n g ngtf&i da q u a chtfOng trinh
dao t^o h o a c th a m chi con co ca b an g cap ve C o n g ta c xa hQi h ay
T am li hQC n htfng lai k h o n g phai la nhtfng ngtf&i g iu p d& co nang
lyc. D an g tiec, d a y la mQt q u an d iem k h a h an hep . C h u n g ta don g
y ran g v ie c d ao tao k h o n g n h at th iet kh ien mQt ngtf&i tr& th an h
ngtf&i g iu p d o to t, nhtfng th a t la n gay th o neu cho ran g kien thu'c
la k h o n g can th ie t h a y k h o n g quan trQng1.

N an g ly c ch u yen m on la mQt trong nhtfng p h am chat quan

trQng dan t&i s y th a n h con g tron g th am van . Nang ly c cua nha
tham van th e h ien & stf h am hieu biet, lon g m on g m uon dtfQc tiep
can v&i v a kiem ch u n g cac phtfOng thu’c th am van m&i, th am gia
vao cac to chirc ch u yen m on, va dQC sach bao ch u yen nghiep. Cac
nguyen tac dao du'c cua H iep hQi T h am van H oa Ki da chi ra n him g
khia canh p h an an h nang ltfc cua nha th am van , do la: H anh nghe
trong kh a n an g va tro n g Hnh v y c ch uyen m on cua m inh; Chi dtfQc
lam viec & vi tri ttfQng img v&i kh a nang; Biet cach kiem tra hieu
qua con g viec v a th a m kh ao y kien cua ngtf&i khac; T h am gia lien
tuc vao cac k h o a d ao tao nan g cao va b iet gi&i h an cac h oat dQng
cua m in h kh i sire k h o e the ch at va tam li m et m oi.

N h a th a m v a n dtfQc gQi la co p h am ch at n gh e toi th ieu phai

co ten tro n g d an h sach cac th an h vien cua mQt H iep hQi th a m van
ch u yen n g h iep ; co ch u n g nhan ve b an g cap ch u yen m o n va quan

1 Anthony Yeo (Lan Khue djch), Ban tay giup d& - Cach ddi pho v&i nan
de, NXB Tre, 2005.
196 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

tro n g h o n ca la diroc cap g ia y ch utig nh£n v'e tir cach h a n h nghe.

D ieu n a y x a c d in h p h am vi n h im g gi n ha th a m va n co the va
k h o n g th e lam tro n g lin h v u t ngh'e n gh iep .

V e n a n g lu c ciia n ha th am
T h a o lu an trrrorng h<^p
van , n g u ye n t i c 2 ciia H iep hoi
T a m li h o c H oa Ki (A P A , 1992) Khi nha tham van nhan thay
neu ra ran g: N h a ta m li can n han minh khong dii dieu kien de tiep
thu'c v e n a n g lu c va n h im g gid i tuc giiip dd than chii, nha tham
han ve su" tin h th o n g cua m inh. van dd de nghi than chii phirong
N h a ta m li ch i cu n g cap n h im g an cham dirt hcfp dong va
dich v y v a chi sir d y n g n h im g ki chuyen than chii cho mot nha
th u at ch o n h u n g co n g viec m a ho tham van khac. Nhirng than chii
co ch u y en m on , n h im g ch u yen lai tir choi ldi de nghi ciia nha
m on n a y co d u o c th o n g q u a cac tham van vi cho rdng nhd tham
q u a trin h lu ye n tap va tich lu y van lam viec co hieu qua.
kin h n g h iem (tr. 1599). C on
Vay n h d th a m v a n co b j b a t buQC
tro n g n g u yen ta c ciia H iep hoi
phai duy t r i d jc h vu th a m van
T h a m va n H oa Ki (A C A ) co doan
nay khong? Hay d ir a r a l i le v i
viet: “N h a th a m van phai co
sao cd hoac khong?
trin h do cao tro n g n h an thu'c ve
gia tri, ve k ien thu'c, v e ki nan g, ve n h im g g id i h a n , va v'e nhu cau
ciia m in h ” (p h a n L u a ch on E .i).

N h a th a m v a n co th e d u y tri p h a m ch at ch u y en m on ciia
m in h th o n g q u a cac h o a t d o n g ngh'e n g h iep n h u sau:

• T h a m gia v a h o a t d o n g tich cUc tro n g cac h iep h oi chuyen

n gh iep .

• D at d u o c cac ch im g chi va/ h o a c g ia y p h ep .

• T h a m d u cac cu o c h oi n g h i v a d u y tri cac h oi th a o giao due.

• T a n th a n h n h im g k h d i xu& ng v'e lu at phap.

• T rd th a n h n g u d i co va n d a y dan kin h n g h ie m ch o ngtfdi

kh ac.

• T o n tro n g stf can th iet phai giam sat lien tu c v a co trach

n h iem g ia m sat n h u n g n gu di khac.
C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam If 197

• T o n trQng cac n gu yen tac dao

du’c h o a c chu dQng tim kiem
sy" th a y doi kh i k h o n g d on g y
vd i cac p h an cua no.
• T h e h ien d ac d iem ca nhan
tru y e n th o n g den
n g u d i k h a c ran g b an la mQt
n g u d i ch u y en n ghiep .
- K h d n g d in h kien
D in h kien la thai dQ co san,
mQt chieu, dung de nhin nhan
n gu d i khac theo quan diem cua
m inh. D in h kien dUQc the hien ro
khi co nhung khac biet hoac bat
dong. N g u d i m ang dinh kien la
n gu d i m ay m oc, co niem tin vao
sy* that mQt cach tuyet doi, hQ
nhin va giai thich the g id i theo
mQt h u d n g va tin rang do la cach
duy nhat dung.
Bai tap tin h h u o n g
Hay phan tich thdi do cua
chuyen gia tw van muc "Tam
su" ban tre"
"Ban B.L. than men. NgWdi ta
n him g
muon yeu du dien den dau thi
cung nen trwtic het biet rang:
Tinh yeu chi den khi ngWdi ta
dd ldn khdi tuoi tre con.
Muon yeu nhwng khdng phai
nghi sao lam vay, thay thich
ngWdi ta thi viet thw hoi:
"Anh cd thich tdi khong?".
Ban dd pham mot loi dai kj
md xwa nay cdc cu tting day:
"Trau di tim coc, ddi nao coc
lai di tim trau..."
(Bao Tiep thi va Gia dinh. 2004)

T ro n g T ie u ch u a n D ao du’c cua H iep h<?i T h a m va n v a P hat

trien H oa Kv, p h a n A , to n g quan dieu 10 co ghi: "N ha th am van
kh on g dUQc p h ep m a n g n h u n g dieu rien g tu ca n h an vao tro n g
quan h e th a m van . D ac b ie t n h u n g van de co th e g a y hai h a y anh
h u d n g xau d en q u a n h e th am van . N ha th am va n phai lu o n canh
giac td i nhirng anh hirdn g tieu eye nhir p h an b iet doi xir tro n g
th am v a n do k h a ch h a n g la n gu d i thuQC ch im g tQC kh ac h a y gidi
tinh kh ac. T ra i lai, n h a th am van phai bao ve q u yen lQi v a nhan
pham ch o k h a ch h a n g tro n g quan he th am van ". N h a th a m va n
kh o n g co d in h k ien v d i th an chii dUQc the h ien d s y cd i m d, s y
n on g n h iet, k h a n a n g ch ap nhan th an chu m a k h o n g buQC th an
chii p h ai g io n g m in h . K h on g dinh kien nen n ha th a m va n k h o n g
cd g a n g th u y e t p h u c th a n chii lam th eo q u an diem , n iem tin ciia
m in h . K h o n g d in h k ien nen nha th am va n x a y d im g diTQc m di
198 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

quan h<? chan thanh va tin tu d n g vao kha nang giai quyet van de
cu a h<? m a khon g p h y thuQC vao v i?c hQ thuQC gid i tinh, dan tQc,
hay ton g ia o nao.

Thao luan cac tinh huong d|nh kien

1/ M ot nhd tham van da trang tit choi gidi mqmg cho khach
hang da den chi vi nhd tham van phii nhan sit cang thang
trong m oi quan he tham van.

2/ Nhd tham van nit khuyen khich khach hang ciia cd ta bo

chong minh vi anh ta la mot ngit&i vu phu. Khach hang dd rdi
bo chong minh nhitng cuoi cung lai gap mot ngitdi chong vu
phu khac, vi nhd tham van dd khdng xem xet ve viec ngitdi
phu nit dong vai trd gi trong viec bj chong sit dung vu litc.

3/ Nhd tham van cam doan vdi khach hang rdng cam giac
dong tinh luyen di ciia khach hang khdng cd nghia khach hang
la ngitdi tinh due dong gidi. Nhd tham van lam dieu nay md
khdng tinh den cam giac lo sd1ciia khach hang ve dinh hitting
tinh due ciia ho. Viec cam doan ciia nhd tham van khdng giiip
khach hang kham pha djnh hitting tinh due ciia minh. Vi vay
noi so1hai ciia khach hang van cdn dd.

4/ Nhd tham van tit choi lang nghe quan diem vd than cua
khach hang vi nd trai ngit&c lai vtii niem tin ton giao ciia nhd
tham van. Dieu nay lam cham ditt cuoc trd chuyen rat cd y j
nghia vi khach hang se danh mat niem tin vao nhd tham van. ,

(Roberliello va Schoenewolf, 1987) j

- Tin tit& n g v a o ban than

N h im g n g u d i cd tin h n$i ta m cao th u d n g cd su" tin tu d n g vao

b an th an . H q th u d n g k ie m soat b an th a n tu1ben tro n g h o n la chiu
stf ta c dQng ttf b e n n goai. H q tin ran g so p h an cu a hQ n£m chinh
tro n g ta y hQ. N g u d i co lo n g tin d b an th an th u d n g co k h a nang
p h e v a ttf p h e. H q b ie t d an h gia y kien cu a n g u d i k h a c va tiep
nh^n y k ie n cu a n g u d i k h a c vd i stf can n h ac k i lu d n g .
C H U O N G 4: Nha th am van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van ta m If 199

MQt tro n g n h im g n gu yen tac

q u an trQng tro n g th a m van la giup Trong khi tien hanh ca, toi
ch o th a n ch u ty d u o n g dau v&i van
nhan thay minh chita thu'c
d'e ciia hQ. Di'eu n a y ch i co the x a y ra
sit tit tin, doi khi toi dem inh
khi n ha th a m va n co s y tin tu&ng &
cuon theo nhitng cam xiic
b an th an v a d y o n g d'au dUQc v&i vain
ciia than chu khi cd ke ve
d'e cu a m in h . Sy tin tu& ng b an than
hoan canh gia dinh. Dang ra
cua n h a th a m va n la tam gtfOng tot
toi cdn tach biet cam xiic ciia
g iu p th a n ch u ty d y o n g d'au v&i van
than chii vd cam xiic ciia
d'e cu a b an th a n hQ. E.D . N eu k ru g
minh nhieu hefn.
cho rSng: H au h et ca c li th u yet ve
th am va n va tri lieu ta m li deu nhan (HTH, K49, 2007)
m anh tam q u a n trQng cu a s y chiu
trach n h i?m v'e cuqc so n g ca n han va sau cu n g la y thu’c k iem soat
so p h an ciia b a n th a n . V i th e kh a nan g lam m au v'e n<?i tam cua
nha th a m va n v a difa th a n chu hu& ng den y th u ’c ch ju trach
n h iem cao ch o ttfQng lai n hin ch u n g la mQt p h am ch at q u an trQng
m a n h a th a m va n p h a i to i luyen .

- Co tin h than k h o e m an h
SuC k h o e tin h th a n cu a nha th am van co the tac dQng tich eye
h oac tieu eye t&i th a n chu. MQt n ha th am van lam viec nhi'eu t&i
m u’c de ch o tin h th a n m et m oi m a anh hu& ng t&i sy g iu p d& than
chu la phi d ao du’c.

Co tin h th a n k h o e m a n h cu n g la mQt p h am ch at q u an trQng

cua n ha th a m van . C ac nha th am van ch u yen n g h iep deu y thu’c ro
ve di'eu n a y n en hQ thit& ng th am gia vao qua trin h t y tri lieu b an
th an ( t y p h a n tich cac va n d'e cua ch in h 1i q ) , h o ac nh& s y g iu p d&
cua cac n h a th a m va n kh ac. C ac n gh ien cufu th y c te tren cac n ha
th am v a n ch u y e n n g h iep cho th a y n h im g ta c dQng tich eye t&i
th an ch u se to t h o n n eu cac nha th a m van da trai q u a q u a trin h
tri lieu ch o ch in h hQ. V ie c cac n ha th am va n th am gia va o qua
trin h tri lieu ch o ch in h m in h se lam phat trien kh a n an g th a m van
cu a hQ. Di'eu n a y th e h ien & mQt so diem sau: 1/ G iu p n gan chan
q u a trin h n h a th a m va n p h o n g ch ieu n h im g cam xu c am tin h len
th a n ch u . 2/ D o h ieu ditQc van d'e ciia m in h , n ha th a m va n giu p
200 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

ch o th a n ch u h ie u du oc van de cu a hQ. 3/ N h u tig k h o k h a n cua

th a n chu dyQc n h a th a m va n th a u h ieu . 4/ C o dyQc n h im g cam
g ia c tru e tie p nhirng gi n h a th a m van da tra i n g h iem tro n g qua
khu; n a y la i lap lai d th a n chu.

- K h a n a n g hefp tac

P h am ch a t n a y noi len tin h lien ket, tin h ch ap n h an cua nha

th a m va n vd i th a n ch u v a vcfi d on g n g h iep cu a m in h . K ha nang
x a y dirng s y 1hgfp ta c p h y th u p c va o n h an cach cu a n ha th am van
v a q u an d iem tiep can tro n g th a m van . H ai yeu to n a y p h ai co sy
th o n g n h at de d at d yQ c h ieu qua. V i d y , q u an d iem phan tam
n h an m a n h d en g id i h a n k h o a n g cach giffa n h a th a m va n va than
chu. T u y n h ien m p t so n ha th a m van th eo tr y d n g p h ai n a y lai van
co th e n h a n h ch o n g x a y d y n g mQt m oi q u a n h e n o n g am vd i than
chu cu a m in h . C u n g n h u vay, cac n h a th a m v a n th e o q u an diem
n h an va n lai ca m th a y kh o k h a n tro n g v ie c d u y tri mQt m oi quan
h e n o n g am vcfi th a n chu do th ieu k h a n a n g x a y d y n g s y hQp tac.
T o m lai, n h a th a m v a n th eo cac tr u d n g p h a i tiep can th an chu
k h a c n h au co th e d y a ra n h u n g tieu chi rat k h a c n h a u v'e nha
th a m van . T u y n h ien , nhirng yeu cau d y d i d a y doi vcfi mQt nha
th a m v a n la ca n th ie t cho s y t r y i n g th a n h cu a th a n chu:

• Co h ieu b ie t v'e b an th a n to t (n h an b ie t to t cac cam xuc, trai

n g h iem , sd th ich , q u an d iem cua b a n th a n ).

• La n g u d i can b a n g va p h a t trien to t v'e m a t tin h cam .

• B iet ch ap n h a n k h o n g p he p h an , xet d oan ; la n g n g h e va giao

tiep v d i th a n chu mQt cach am h ieu v a co m y c dich.

• C o kha nang quan sat, hieu dyQc hanh vi ban g lo i va khong

ld i d ya tren mQt p h u on g phap chan doan thich hQp.

• C o kha nang gay d yn g dyQc niem tin doi vdi than chu va
thu c day than chu no ly c giai quyet van d'e cua hQ.

• Co kha nang thao luan nhirng chu d'e rat n hay cam mQt cach
im g hQ than chu de khong tao cho than chu m ac cam . xau ho
hay sQ hai.
C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van ta m If | 201

• H ieu m p t cach sau s i c v'e van de va con n g u d i th a n chu; b iet

n h a n d jn h cac va n d'e ve b en h tin h th an , v e gia d in h v a ve tre
em .

• K h o n g th a m va n m an g tin h h in h thu’c (th am van de m a co);

th a m van k h o n g p h ai la lam cho to t h o n de hai lo n g b an
th a n h o a c m in h lam ch o ngtfdi k h ac hai lon g, m a phai lam
ch o th a n ch u va m in h ld n len.

• N h a th a m v a n n g h e n h ieu h o n noi, h an che noi to i da n h at la

kh i th a n ch u d an g m u o n chia se. K h on g ch o ld i kh u yen ,
k h o n g ap dat, can th ie p sau.

• C o k h a n a n g th u th a p th o n g tin va xau ch u o i lai tro n g qua

trin h d an h gia. Co k h a n an g th iet lap va d u y tri dtfpc m oi
q u an h e h o tr p m a n g tin h ch u yen n gh iep .

• C o k h a n a n g sir d u n g cac n gu on ltfc m pt cach san g tao de

dtfa ra cac g ia i p h a p m d i dap irng vd i nhu cau cu a th an chu.

• C o k h a n a n g d an h gia to a n dien cac nhu cau cu a th a n chii va

x a c d in h d tfpc n h u cau tfu tien giai quyet.

• Co k h a n a n g d u n g h o a v a th oa th u an dtfpc vd i cac b en xu n g
dpt (n h u cau , m oi q u an he...).
• Co k h a n a n g ap d u n g li th u yet vao con g viec thtfc te.

X et ch o cim g, n h tfn g yeu cau doi vd i n ha th a m va n chi co y

nghia k h i di lien v d i tie u chi lam viec co h ieu q u a doi v d i th an
chii. D ac d iem h ieu q u a tro n g con g viec cua n ha th a m va n la m pt
tieu chi p h a n anh v'e tu o i ddi, kin h n gh iem va m u’c dp dtfpc dao
tao. T a t ca di'eu n a y p h a i dtfpc nha th am va n trai n g h iem h oa
q uyen tro n g th a i dp n o n g n hiet, tich ctfc va ch ap n h an d oi vd i
nhtfng gi tro n g co n ngtfdi th an chii, v a cu oi cim g, ch in h th ai dp
n av se ta o ra sir th a y d oi d th an chii.

M p t n h a th a m v a n co th e can rat nhi'eu p h am ch at ta m li k h ac

nhau lien q u a n d en q u an d iem ngh'e n g h iep v a q u an d iem song
cua ca n h a n ; lien q u a n den trin h dp h ieu b ie t ch u yen m o n v a ki
n an g ngh'e n g h iep : lien q u an den nhtfng im g xir ciia con ngtfdi va
kh a n a n g n h a y cam v d i van d'e ciia th an chii... C ac n ha th a m van
202 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

th eo q u an d iem tie p can th an chu k h a c n h a u th u d n g n h an manh

den n h u n g p h a m ch at tam li k h a c n hau. C o th e chi ra cac cach
nhin k h a c n h au v'e p h am ch at tam li cu a n h a th a m van de thay
dtfpc tin h da d an g, p h o n g phu tro n g s u p h at trien cac pham chat
ngh'e trp g iu p - xet tu* goc dp h ieu qua co n g viec.

A n th o n y Y e o (2 0 0 5 ) cho ran g n gu d i g iu p d d b at ke la chuyen

n gh iep (n h a th a m v a n ) h a y k h o n g ch u yen n g h iep cu n g phai co
m pt vai so tro n g nhirng dac d iem ca n h an n h u s a u 1: 1/ Biet cam
th on g; 2/ N h a y ben ; 3/ T e nhi; 4/ D iem tin h ; 5/ C o kien thu'c; 6/
K h oan d un g; 7/ Tu" n gu yen ; 8/ C hin ch an ; 9/ N h iet tinh; 10/
D on g cam ; 11/ L in h d pn g tro n g p h iro n g p h ap v a th ai dp; 12/
V tfn g van g; 13/ CUPng q u yet n h im g th u’c te; 14 /H ieu biet; 15/
T in h cam on dinh; 16/ V o tU; 17/ K h o n g xet d oan v a 18/ Khiem
n h u d n g . N g o a i ra, cac dac diem nhtf: b ie t la n g n g h e v a to ra that
stf chu y la n g n ghe; b ao dam h an h vi va th ai dp gtfP n g m au; ham
th ich va san sa n g gap m pi ngtfdi; bao dam h a n h d p n g di doi v6i
ld i noi; ch o ld i k h u yen dim g dan; san sa n g h y sin h th d i gian; co
k h a n a n g th a y trtfd c va n de; ton trp n g ngtfdi k h a c n h tf m pt ca the
rien g b ie t co gia tri npi tai; co kin h n g h iem v d i nhtfng kh o khan
tro n g cu p c song; co k h a nan g ton trp n g v a gitf gin q u y en lpi ciia
ngtfdi k h a c m a k h o n g de lp ra ngoai.

K hi noi ve nhtfng p h am ch at tam li can th iet cho con g viec

th a m van , H a ck n e y v a C o rm ier (19 9 6 ) la i dtfa ra 8 d ac diem ciia
m pt ngtfdi trp g iu p h ieu qua, tro n g do b a o gom : 1/ T tf n han thirc
va h ieu b a n th a n , 2/ Sire kh o e tam li to t, 3/ N h a y cam , 4/ Tir
ttfd n g cd i m d , 5/ K h a ch q uan , 6/ Co n a n g ltfc ch u yen m on, 7/
D an g tin cay, v a 8/ Stf h ap dan vd i ngtfdi kh ac.

C on F o ste r (19 9 6 ) va G u y (19 8 7) da dtfa ra m pt so yeu to cO

b an can co de co th e trd th a n h m pt n h a th a m van ch u y en nghiep
nhtf s a u 2:

1 A n th on y Yeo, Ban tay giup dd - Lan Khue dich: N ha xuat ban Tre; 2005.
: Dan theo ThS. N guyen T ho Sinh, Tu: van tam U can ban. NXB Lao dgng.
2006. (can liru y trong cuon sach nay tac gia dung tir Tir van tam li theo nghia
tieng Anh la Counseling Psychology)-
C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li 203

- T in h hieu ki: b<?c 1q tinh than quan tam m pt cach ttf nhien
td i ngtfdi kh ac.

- K h a n a n g b iet la n g nghe: b iet tap tru n g th eo doi mQt cach

sat sao, chu y den ngtfdi khac. D ay la mQt vo n qui h et stfc can
th iet vi no kich th ich th an chu tham gia tich ctfc va o qua trinh
th am van . T h a n chu se chan nan khi nha th a m va n k h o n g con
lan g n gh e tot.

- T tf nhien trong giao tiep: kha nang tao stf cdi md, thoai mai
giup than chu ttf tin va giam thieu stf cang thang von anh htfdng
tdi chat ltfQng tham van.
- D o n g cam v a h ieu biet: kh a nang lien h? m in h vao hoan
canh cu a ngtfdi k h a c, n g a y ca ch u yen th an chu la ngtfdi kh ac
phai, k h a c va n h o a , k h a c bi£t v'e di'eu ki£n son g, h oan can h song.

- H ieu b ie t ve tin h cam : K ha n ang kiem ch e b an th an , co the

doi d i?n mQt cach ttf tin vd i nhtfng mtfc dQ cam xu c k h a c nhau ttf
qua trin h th a m van , trtfd n g th an h vtfng v a n g v'e m at cam xuc.

- T in h tao nQi tam : K ha nan g tin h tam de ttf danh gia ban
than, su y xet nQi tam , de co the ttf hoan thi£n b an than.

- K ha n an g b ie t q u en m inh: N gh i den lQi ich cu a ngtfdi kh ac

trtfdc, n g a y ca trtfd n g hQp lQi ich cua ngtfdi kh ac anh htfd n g den
lQi ich cu a b an th an .
- K h o n g sa n ga tro n g tin h cam : K ha nan g kiem che tro n g khi
th am va n v d i th a n chu k h a c phai, tran h nhtfng cam x u c th ien v'e
n h y c th e, th ie u la n h m anh.

- T in ttfd n g va o n a n g ltfc cua th an chu: K ha nan g ch ap nhan

n ang lire cu a th an ch u d mQt gid i han n ao do kh i k h o n g tiep can
trtfc tiep . N h a th a m van se kh o n g lam d u n g \i tri cu a m in h de lan
ltfdt, chi thi, h tfd n g d an sai lech.

- K h a n a n g b ie t ctfdi: Can co tin h kh o i hai tro n g nhtfng tran g

h u o n g eo le ciia cuqc son g, biet lac quan va k h o n g qua go bo. £fng
d y n g tin h k h o i hai de g iam cang th an g va k h o i d ay tin h th an lac
q u an tro n g cuqc son g.
204 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

T h e o ta c gia, n g o a i n h im g yeu to tren th i m o t n h a th a m van

lam vi£c co hi<?u q u a cu n g can den n h im g k h a n a n g im g d u n g cac
k h a m p h a k h o a h(?c k i th u a t tro n g co n g ta c cu a m in h . Hq can co
k ien th u ’c de d u y tri ch o m in h mQt stf can b a n g v'e tin h cam . Stf
can b a n g v'e tin h cam tro n g cuqc so n g ay se g iu p hQ trQ th an h nha
th a m v a n lam v ie c to t. Di'eu n a y cu n g de h ieu vi neu mQt nha
th a m v a n k h o n g co cuqc so n g on d in h , anh ta se k h o n g the cong
ta c to t tro n g q u a trin h th a m va n vcfi th a n chu.

V d i nhtfng d oi h oi v'e cac p h a m ch at cu a n h a th a m van nhir

A n th o n y Y e o neu d tren , co th e noi rang: N h a th am va n la ngtfdi
h(n tu mQi stf tin h tu y m a con ngtfdi co th e co tro n g ttfQng giao
v d i nhtfng ngtfdi x u n g q u an h , vd i co n g vi$c, vd i th e che va vdi
ch in h b a n th a n m in h . Di'eu n a y noi len ran g, tro n g tien trinh trd
th a n h mQt n gtfdi g iu p d d ch u yen n gh iep , cac ca n h an khong
n g im g p h a n d au de h o a n thi£n b an th an m in h v a n gh e n gh iep ciia
m in h . V a, di'eu n a y p h ai trd th a n h "n iem m o tfdc li ttfdng" cho
nhtfng n h a th a m v a n thtfc stf m u on "giu p d d ngtfdi k h a c la giup
d d ch in h hQ".

Q u a y la i v d i nhtfng yeu cau v'e p h a m ch at ta m li ciia n ha tham

va n tro n g th tfc h a n h ngh'e trQ giu p , th a t mQt m oi kh i dQC dtfQc het
nhtfng y e u cau m a ca c n ha th a m va n tren th e gid i, n h tf C. Rogers;
E. N e u k ru g ; A . Y e o , H a ck n ey v a C o rm ier; F o ste r v a G u y neu ra d
tren , tr o n g k h i m o i ch u n g ta cu n g co nhtfng cach n h in rien g ciia
m in h v'e p h a m ch a t cu a mQt ngtfdi g iu p d d ch u y en n gh iep . Di'eu
n a y n oi le n ran g, ch u n g ta - nhtfng n gtfdi m u o n g iu p dd ngtfdi
k h a c trtfd n g th a n h h a y ctf la m in h , vd i n h tfn g tfu va nhtfQc ciia
m in h . V a n de la n gtfdi m a ch u n g ta g iu p d d da tim dtfQc niem vui
so n g v a ttf vtfQt q u a dtfQc nhtfng kh o k h a n cu a hQ.

III. T H A N C H U V A N A N D E C U A T H A N C H U

l. Than chii

Than chii la mQt ngtfdi/mQt nhom ngtfdi binh thirdng, ngtfdi

co van d'e, ngtfdi m at can bang, hoac ngtfdi co roi loan tam li.
 C H U O N G 4: Nha th am van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam If | 205

Khi noi v'e qu an ni£m cua nha tham van doi vcfi ngtfefi xin
trgf giu p , C arl R ogers tam stf ran g ong chtfa bao g id cam th ay
th o ai m ai vd i th u at ngir b£nh nhan (patien t). O ng la ngtfdi rat
y th ifc k h o n g chi tro n g vi£c tim kiem mQt th u at ngtf th ich hdp
de noi v'e nhtfng ngtfdi co nan d'e m uon dtfdc giup dd, ma
tro n g ca th a i dQ b a y to stf ton trQng doi vd i hQ. Du k h o n g thtfc
stf h oan h ao , so n g th u at ngtf than chu, h ay k h ach h an g (clien t)
vdi ong th o a m an ttfQng doi nhieu k h ia canh cu a m oi quan h?
trQ giu p . T h eo C arl R ogers, than chu la ngtfdi ttf chiu trach
nhiem , du tim den mQt ai do de nhd giu p dd, son g stf ltfQng
gia va q u yet djn h va n thuQC ve ch in h ban th an th an chu. V a
anh ta k h o n g dat m inh vao ban tay cua mQt ai kh ac. A n h ta
gitf oc p han doan rie n g 1. V d i quan niem cho ran g stf tien bQ
cua th an chu lu o n b a t d'au va ket th u c ttf ch in h stf no ltfc cua
than chu, nen cac nha th am van thtfdng nh in nhan th an chu la
ngtfdi co gia tri; dQc dao; co hieu b iet va lu o n m uon th a y doi
vd i stf ho trQ cua nha th am van. C hin h nhtf v a y anh ta m di can
den stf giu p dd cua nha th am van. Doi vd i th an chu, vi£c quyet
djnh den vd i cac dich vu tham van ch in h la btfdc d'au cua stf
th ay ddi tro n g hQ.

T h o n g thtfdng, nhtfng kho khan m a than chu co the gap

phai khi tim kiem dich vu trQ giup thtfdng nam tro n g chinh
ban than th an chii, nhtf sQ bi ngtfdi kh ac co th e danh gia la
"khong bin h th tfd n g", "bat ltfc"; kho kh an tro n g viec chap nhan
nhtfng diem han che ciia m inh; kho khan khi phai noi ra nhtfng
van de rien g ttf, th am kin ciia m inh vd i "ngtfdi ngoai"; sq phai
ddi dien vd i n h im g nan d'e la nguyen nhan gay dau kho, m a ban
than d an g cd ne tran h va di'eu kho kh an h o n ca la sQ phai th ay
ddi niem tin, gia tri va thoi quen hanh vi cd htfu ciia ban than.

1 Carl R. Rogers & David E. Russell. Carl Rogers, T he Q u ie t R e v o lu tio n a r y - A n o ra l history.

California: Penm arin Books. 2002. p.245.
206 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

T h o n g th tfd n g kh i mQt ngtfdi

Ban chat cua con ngtf&i la
co va n d'e k h o n g tu” giai q uyet
thien v&i nhtfng khuynh htf&ng
dtfQc men can d en stf trQ g iu p cua
tien den phat trien ti'em nang
n h a th a m van . T ro n g th a m van
va xa h$i hod. N htfng cd nhtfng
h ien dai, th a n ch u dtfQc nhin ngtf&i bj vtf&ng mac cho nao
n h an la mQt th tfc th e chu dQng, do va cdn dtf o'c trcf giup de tim
tich ctfc, la m ch u b an th an , ttf lai nguon ltfc cdn ban nai ban
q u yet d in h va n d'e cu a b an th an than minh. Phtfang phap than
kh i co stf g iu p d o cu a n ha th am chii trong tam dat stf tin
van . T h a n ch u la ngtfdi d u y nhat ttf&ng, site bat day nai con
b iet ro v e m in h v a nan d'e cua ngtf&i, vd cung cap mQi dieu
m in h , nhtfn g lu o n ttf h oi phai kien de giup than chu doi di$n
lam gi b a y gid , doi kh i th an chu v&i chinh minh, nham gidi tod
ro i va o tin h tra n g h o a n g m an g stf be tac cua ban than. (Carl
k h o n g y thu'c dtfQc tam tran g va Rogers)
h an h vi cu a m in h . H oac th an chu
b iet p h ai la m gi nhtfng de nan ch i vi th a y nhi'eu ch tfd n g ngai phai
vtfQt qua, h o a c th ie u ttf tin v'e m inh. V i vay, hQ can d en stf giup dd
ch u yen n g h iep de ttf tin giai q u yet nan d'e cu a m in h . T h a n chu la
ngtfdi d u y n h at ttf g iu p b an th an th o a t k h o i nan d'e. N h tf vay, than
chu d en v d i n h a th a m va n vi co nhu cau can tro ch u y en , can bQC
1q tin h cam h ien tai cu a m in h va can d en stf th o n g cam , tin ttfdng
cu a n h a th a m van . T h a n chu den th a m vain v d i hi vQng dtfQc soi
san g, dtfQc g iu p dd de vtfng tin va o q u y et d in h cu a m in h .

C arl R o g ers (19 5 1), ngtfdi san g lap ra phtfO ng p h a p “T h a n chu

trQng ta m ", ch o ra n g th a n chu la ngtfdi co n h im g n g u o n ltfc nQi
tai doi v d i stf ttf am h ieu b an th an , du de th a y d oi q u an niem ve
b an nga, n h im g th ai dQ, h a n h vi, de vtfOn td i to a n b<? n an g ltfc
tiem ta n g tro n g m in h . T h a n ch ii la ch u yen gia gidi n h a t v'e van de
cu a hQ. V i va y, q u a trin h th a m va n phai d at stf tin ttfd n g hoan
to a n va o th a n ch ii, ch ap n h an to an b<? con ngtfdi th a n ch ii de than
chii ttf tim ra d tfd n g di, ttf q u yet djnh va n d'e ciia ch in h m inh.
T h a n chii trQng ta m th eo p h o n g cach C arl R o g ers cdn dtfQc gQi la
nha tri lieu k h o n g h tfd n g dan (n o n -d irective th e ra p ist), do xuat
C H U O N G 4: N ha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li 20 7

phat tir quan niem rang nhung chi thi, hirdng dan cua nha tri li£u
lam roi tien trinh tri li£u. Va nhir vay, ong tir bo dirt khoat vi?c
dien giai, chan doan hay khuyen nhu tir nha tri li£u.

MQt ca nhan trd thanh than chu khi:

- Biet la m inh co nan d'e va nhan biet dirQc nan d'e cua minh.
Biet r in g m inh khong ttf giai quyet diTQc nan de do.

- Chap nhan stf giup do chuyen mon, chap nhan noi ra van d'e
cua m inh mQt cach khach quan nhat. SSn sang don nhan cach
nhin nhan m di va thay doi hanh vi, cach song m di, neu can.

- Chap nhan ton kem thdi gian, cong sire va tien bac cho vi£c
giai quyet nan d'e cua m inh.

Trong cac nganh trQ giup, vi dy nhtf nganh Cong tac xa hQi
(dac bi£t la d Vi£t N am ), doi ttfQng htfdng lQi la nhtfng ngtfdi de
bi ton thtfOng tam li, hQ khong ttf vtfQt qua dtfQc cac van d'e cua
hQ, nhtf ngtfdi ngheo, ngtfdi b?nh, tre em, ngtfdi gia... Nhtfng
nhom ngtfdi nay thtfdng thuQC di?n "bao trQ xa hQi", hQ dtfQc
htfdng m ien phi dich v y trQ giup cua xa hQi. V i vay, khai niem
"than chu" (ngtfdi chu) hay " khach hang " (thtfQng de) doi vdi
nhom ngtfdi xin trQ giup nay doi khi khong that stf phu hQp, vi
dich vu trQ giup cho hQ hi?n nay la m ien phi. Doi khi ngtfdi ta stf
dyng khai niem "Ngtfdi xin trQ giu p "1, "Ngtfdi nhan cong tac xa
hQi"2, hoac gQi la "Ddi ttfQng", trong khi vdi cac bac si tam than,
khai niem "benh nhan" lai luon dtfQc sir dung. Trong giao trinh
nay, chim g toi sir dung thuat ngtf "Than chu" de chi nhtfng ngtfdi
xin trQ giup tam li.

2. Nan de cua than chu

N an de ciia than chu dtfQc hieu la van de nan giai ciia ngtfdi
co nhu cau dtfQc giup dd bdi nha tham van. Trong tham van, khi
noi den “N an d'e” ngtfdi ta lien ttfdng den nhtfng kho khan tam li.

1 D aigniault M ichel (N guyen Phutm g Hoa & Luu Song Ha djch), Giao trinh moi quan he tra
giiip. Vi£n T am li hoc. 2001.
: Tran Dinh Tuan, Bai giang Cong tac .vd hoi - li thuyet va thtfc hanh, D H K H X H & N V , Bo
m on C on e tac xa hoi. 2009.
208 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

Tir th o n g d u n g n h a t co th e gQi la “V a n d'e cu a th a n ch u ". Trong

kh i n g a n h C o n g ta c x a hQi th irdn g sir d y n g k h a i n iem n a y bang
th u a t ngir “V a n n a n ”.

V di ngudi co nan d'e, neu hQ khong ttf giai quyet diTQc, hQ se

m at can bang v'e tam li, tham chi keo theo nhirng roi loan ve hoat
dQng sinh li va im g xir roi loan ve hanh vi xa hQi. V d i nhirng roi
loan tam li p h u t tap, stf trQ giup can m ang tinh ngh'e nghiep vdi
stf giup dd cua nha tham van hoac nha tam li hQC lam sang.

Thong thirdng cac s y kien gay ra nan d'e lam xao trQn cu q c
song ca nhan co the la: nhu cau ca nhan kh on g dtfQc thoa man;
kinh te bi sa sut dQt ngQt hoac keo dai vtfQt ngtfdng chju dtfng cua
ca nhan; nhirng that bai trong ngh'e nghiep, tron g tinh cam va stf
kem thich nghi; cac ap ltfc xa hQi lien quan den m oi trtfdng lam
viec, loi song, van hoa, ton giao, hay nhirng canh tranh, chen ep,
ki thi... m a co the ca nhan la nan nhan, ngtfdi chim g kien hoac
cam nhan m inh la nan nhan.

V e phia chu quan ca nhan, nhtfng ngtfdi co tinh th y dQng,

nhtfng ngtfdi khong co tinh chiu trach nhiem , ngtfdi thieu nghi
ltfc va kien nghi trong hanh d§ng, h ay dtfa dam vao cac quyet
dinh cua ngtfdi khac h ay nhtfng ngtfdi lam viec ngau htfng, hanh
dQng thtfdng kh on g theo m yc tieu; ngtfdi h a y do loi, khong can
bang trong ddi song li tri va tinh cam ... se de bj nan d'e hQn nhtfng
ngtfdi khac. M at khac, quan niem co nan d'e h ay kh on g tuy thuQC
vao cach nhin nhan cua m oi ca nhan. Co nhtfng stf viec, hien
ttfQng doi vd i ai do rat quan trQng, gay nen mQt stf bat on d hQ, vi
vay hQ can den stf giup dd ciia nha tham van. N htfng van stf viec
do, doi vd i ngtfdi khac "no" khong gay ra van d'e gi. Vi vay, "no"
da khon g lam hQ ban tam . Vi the, hQ kh ong can den mQt stf trQ
giup ben ngoai. Xet ttf chuan mtfc va danh gia xa hQi, co the ke ra
mQt sd bieu hien ciia nan d'e m a ca nhan can dtfQc tham van:

• Ca nhan luon khong ha i Idng va thay kho chju v i m Q t m o i

quan he nao do.

• Ca nhan thtfdng ga y bat binh vdi nhtfng ngtfdi xu n g quanh.

C H U O N G 4: N ha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li 209

• C a n h a n xu a t h ien ca tin h h iem th a y v a k h o n g co tro n g han h

d p n g tien le.

• C a n h an th a y bu on ch a n , lo du, cang than g d a u kho, s p hai,

n h u n g dieu n a y lap di, lap lai va anh htfd n g d en h o a t dQng
cu a th a n ch u.

• C a n h a n n o i n h ieu tro n g m pt thcfi d iem v a lu o n cam th a y

k h o n g h ai lon g.

• N h a n thu'c p h i li cua ca nhan the hien d hanh dQng ma

ngudi kh ac cho la khong binh thudng.

• C a nhan k h o n g thich n g h i h o a c kho thich n ghi, luon hanh

dQng anh hirdng den m yc tieu hoac nhtfng hoat dQng binh
thirdng cua ca nhan va nhtfng ngirdi xung quanh.

T h y c te tham van cho thay nhutig nan de pho bien co the can
diTQc trQ giup thirdng la lo au, chan nan, stf ttf ti, noi sQ hai, stf
phong ve thai qua va stf m ac cam ban than.

Khi ca nhan y thtfc dtfQc nan de cua m inh va vdi stf giup dd
chuyen m on, hQ se vtfQt qua dtfQc nhtfng kho khan cua ban than,
dtfQng dau dtfQc vd i thtfc te gay ra roi nhieu tam li. Trong thtfc te,
nhieu khi ca nhan khdng nhan ra dtfQc la m inh dang co nan de do
thieu hieu biet, do khdng thtfa nhan stf "khong binh thtfdng" noi
m inh, hoac do k h on g m uon ngtfdi ngoai biet nhtfng rSc roi cua
minh. V iec ltfu gitf lau ngay nhtfng cam xuc am tinh se gay ra
nhtfng hanh vi chong doi m ang tinh huy hoai. Trong trtfdng hQp
nang, cQ the khong con kha nang chong dd se bj roi loan ca ve
thtfc the va tam li.

3. Cdc c a c h e ph dn g v$ khi co nan de

T ro n g cuqc song nhtfng lo sQ ttf nhien von co cua ca nhan

nhtf sQ bi hat hui, bj bo roi, bj co lap, bj that bai, bj thien, bi mat
kiem soat ban than, bi sa sut, bi che ctfdi v.v... da khien cho "cai
toi" - vu n g y thtfc - tim cac phtfOng thtfc tfng xtf h ay cac chien ltfQc
doi pho nham giam thieu hay giai thoat khoi nhtfng lo sQ do.
T h on g thtfdng cac ca nhan co nhtfng kieu hanh xtf nhtf: Tro
210 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

ch u y en v d i n hirn g ngirdi x u n g q u an h , nhirng ngirdi d a n g tin cay

de n h a n dtfQc nhirng ld i k h u yen h o a c su y xet v'e n g u ye n nhan gay
ra lo au v a t y dira ra nhirng sach ltfQc im g p h o. M p t so n gu d i dung
cac ch a t k ich th ich nhir th u o c la, rirpu, b ia, an u o n g , m a tuy, tinh
d ue h o a c th a m g ia va o cac h in h thu’c th e th ao , di ch iia, h a y tron
va o g ia c n gu n M m tra n ap lo sQ, th a m chi co ngirdi giai thoat stf
lo sQ b a n g cai ch et. N h u va y, d b in h d ien y th u ’c ca n h an da no ltfc
rat nhi'eu de virQt q u a lo hai. T u y n h ien co nhirng lo hai m a con
ngirdi k h d n g th e ch e n g y h a y lam m at di diTQc, vi v a y, m ot cach
b an n a n g cai to i (ban nga) da "d ay", "d on n en " ch u n g va o viin g vo
th u ’c. V a n h u v a y ca c c 0 ch e p h o n g ve ca n h an x u a t h ien . Cac co
ch e p h o n g v e cai tdi la n h im g kieu im g xir m a ca n h an khong y
th u ’c d u o c n h a m b a o v e ca n h an th o a t k h o i su" lo so , can g thang.
T h e o F reu d , tro n g cu o c so n g nhirng sir lo la n g ta c d o n g den than
k in h va g a y ra n h im g x u n g dot noi tam giira C ai N o, C ai T oi va Cai
Sieu T o i cu a m o t ca n h an . F reu d cho ran g du cac cO ch e phong v£
di6n ra tro n g h a n h vi b in h th irdng ciia con n g u d i th i ch im g cung
n gan trd k h a n a n g cu a con ngirdi im g p h o v d i ca c v a n de vo thu’c
cu a m in h . C h in h v i vay, ho can s u g iu p d d ciia ca c n h a th am van
va tri lieu ta m li.

C ac cO ch e p h o n g ve cai to i d u o c S ig m u n d F reu d , A n n a Freud

va n h im g ngirdi th eo trird n g phai p h a n ta m p h a t h ie n sau nay,
ch im g d u o c p h a n tich rat nhi'eu tro n g th a m va n , tri lieu nham
giu p th a n ch ii y thirc to t h o n v'e nhirng v a n d'e d a n g x a y ra vd i ban
th a n v a ca n h a n can p h a i d iron g d au v d i ch im g . C o th e giai thich
m o t cach k i h o n sir x u a t h ien cu a cac cO ch e p h d n g v e cai toi nhir
sau: K hi ch u n g ta b a t lire h o a c k h o n g con dii k h a n a n g k iem soat
m ot so tin h h u o n g cu a cu o c so n g th i ch in h la lu c nan de xuat
hien , ch im g k e o th eo sir dau k h o , b u t doc, m a c cam to i loi... Mot
cach vo thirc ch im g ta co k h u y n h hirdn g dtfng n en n hirng y tirdng,
h a n h vi gia n h a m la m v o i di cam x u c am tin h d b an th a n .

Co th e noi cac co che p h on g ve cai toi la nhirng h a n h vi dtfdc

hinh th an h de ch on g lai sir lo au do kinh n ghiem tuoi thef v a ki ire ve
no g a y ra. Chirc n an g ciia cO che phong ve la tran h cho ca nhan khoi
nhan b iet n6i dau m a ho dan g trai nghiem . H ay noi m ot cach khac,
C H l f O N G 4: Nha th am van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam If 211

do la cor che tam li tfng xir nham tao lap the can bang cua ban nga
khi con ngtfefi cam thay mat kiem soat cam xuc do stf xung dpt, stf
mat can bang, stf mau thuan gitfa "cai no" - vung vo thufc va "cai sieu
toi" - viang sieu thu'c. Nhtf vay, khi con ngtfefi khong con du kha nang
kiem soat htfu hieu mpt so tinh huong cua cuqc song, thi cac cO che
ttf ve se la nhtfng chien ltfpc cho phep ban nga bu trtf stf bat ltfc cua
minh mpt cach vo thu’c, bang cach lam giam thieu stress va stf lo au
kem theo. Nhtfng cO che ttf ve nay thtfc te nham tao cho con ngtfefi
nhtfng khoai cam, doi khi thtfc te nhtfng thtfdng la ttfdng ttfQng,
hoac xa vcfi thtfc te hoac phu nhan thtfc te.

Khi cac nha tham van co hieu biet tot ve cac co che phdng ve
d than chu, hQ se giup than chu nhin nhan thtfc te cua m inh nhtf
no von co, th ay vi khong the chiu dtfng dtfQc stf qua tai cua
nhtfng lo au, gian dtf dan den nhtfng hanh vi tron tranh khong
phu hQp, nhtf stf kim nen (kiem che), stf phong chieu (do loi cho
ngtfefi khac), stf ne tranh, stf bu tri, vien li le (hQp li hoa hanh vi),
stf chuyen di ("gian ca chem theft"), stf thoai bQ (bieu hien hanh vi
cua tre con), stf thang hoa (sieu thoat vao cac hoat dQng sang tao
nghe thuat), stf huySn ttfdng (suy nghi mO mQng), stf dong nhat
hoa (bat chtfdc ngtfefi khac), stf phu dinh (khong thtfa nhan hoac
ctf tuyet) va stf hinh thanh phan tfng ngtfQc (hanh dQng ben ngoai
ngtfQc vd i su y nghi ben trong).

Dtfdi day la nhtfng cO che ttf ve cho phep ban nga (cai toi) bu
trtf stf bat ltfc cua m inh mQt cach vo thtfc. Dieu nay co the lam voi
di cam xuc tieu ctfc 0 ban than. Tuy nhien ve lau dai se dan tdi
nhtfng m au thuan n<?i tam , nhtfng roi n h iiu , nhtfng bat ltfc trtfdc
cuqc song. Stf doi m inh mQt cach vo thtfc dtfQc the hien qua cac
cQ che ttf ve dtfdi day:

- Ccf ch e d on n en , k iem che

Dd la stf cd tinh gat ra ngoai y thtfc nhtfng y nghi, cam xuc,

kinh nghiem khdng vui cua ca nhan, m a neu gQi len thi kho chap
nhan, khdng the chiu dtfQc.

C hu n g ta don nen. kiem che cac cam xuc tieu ctfc, nhtfng stf lo
au tren bang cach tan g Id, tranh de cap den, hay cho rang nd
212 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

k h o n g to n tai. D o la mQt su" che n g y n h u n g lo la n g , k h o n g cho

ch u n g p h a t 1q ra b e n n goai. N h u n g n h im g stf k ie n bi d on nen nay
th ird n g v o tin h th o a t ra b an g su* lo ld i, noi n h ju , Id tay, b&ng
n h im g h a n h v i v o thu'c, h o a c b an g m ot so ch u n g roi n h ieu khac.
T h e o Jo. G o d e fro id 1, don n en la n en va o v o th u’c su" h a m muon
h o a c tin h h u o n g x u n g d o t - m ot su* q uen ch u dong.

Q u en la n g la m o t tro n g n h u n g b ieu h ien cO b an do cO che don

nen, k ie m ch e g a y ra. V i du, ta lu o n tam n iem la p h a i den mtfng
sin h n h at b an , p h a i den d am cirdi con o n g X n ao dd. T rong y
th u ’c, ch u n g ta b ie t do la n h im g dieu q u an tro n g can la m , nhung
tro n g v o th u’c ch u n g ta k h d n g m an m a gi v e n h u n g dieu nay. Vi
vay, d en n g a y sin h n h a t, n g a y d am cirdi ch u n g ta da vd tin h quen
k h d n g den. H a y tru d n g h o p vj th u trird n g n o h a m h d to c h u t mQt
cuqc h o p "q u a n tro n g " n h u y th u’c m a ch b ao . N h u n g khi trinh
tro n g d o c "ld i k h a i m ac" th i on g ta lai n h d ld i tu y e n b o "be mac"
cuqc h op . Cd th e tro n g vd th u’c o n g ta k h d n g ch o r i n g cu oc hop
n ay la q u an tr o n g v a on g ta k h d n g m u o n cd nd, n en da nhd ldi.
H oac, b a m ? ch o n g th a y vi noi vd i co con d au tiro n g lai la "Chao
c o n ” th i la i n oi n h a m la “T a m b ie t”...

T ro n g th a m van , doi kh i cac th a n chu noi "Tdi k h d n g nhd"

h a y "Tdi d au (fau qua". Cd th e lu c do h o da k h d n g n h d h o ac dau
dau th a t su" k h i n h a th a m va n h o i ve m o t v a n de, m a van de do
neu n h d la i se la m ch o h o can g th a n g , lo la n g h a y tire gian... Co
che d on n en , k ie m ch e g iu p th a n chu tra n h diTQc n h im g chuyen
k h d n g vu i. N h a th a m v a n can tu" tu" g iu p th a n ch u d oi m at vdi
n h u n g n g u y e n n h a n g a y ra c0 ch e d o n n en cu a h o , vi d a y cd the la
m ot tr o n g n h u n g n g u ye n n h an k h ie n th a n ch u k h d n g tir dirong
dau giai q u y et diTQc va n de cu a m in h , n en da p h a i n h d den cac
ch u y en gia th a m van .

- Ccf ch e p h o n g chieu

La gan cho n g u d i k h a c n h im g y nghi, ldi lam do m in h g a y ra;

p h d n g len, gan cho ngirdi k h a c nhim g cam xuc, h a m m u on ma

1 Jo.G odefroid, Nhitng con dw&ng tam li hoc tap 3, N XB Pierre M ardage Liege - Bruxelles,
1987, T rung tam nghien riru Tam li tre em, tu sach N T 1998.
( H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van ta m If 213

khong the chap nhan ciia chinh ban than; quy ket, do loi cho ngirdi
khac khi chung ta pham loi; trach ngirdi khac ve hanh dQng cua
chung ta. CQ che phong chieu giup chung ta tranh dirQc s y lo hai
do m inh gay ra, do khong thira nhan nhirng ham m uon, loi lam
khong the noi ra hay khong the dat diTQc ciia chinh minh. Phong
chieu la mQt cQ che t y v£ nham giir thang bang cho ban than. Do la
cQ sd cho vi$c hinh thanh cac tri<?u chim g hoang tudng.

V i du: Do 16i cho so phan, hoac trach m oc ngirdi khac theo

kieu “ Do m ay m a tao b i...”. Nhirng ngirdi thich d ya dam , y lai vao
ngirdi khac khi that bai luon trach cir ngirdi khac, thay vi nhin
thang vao loi cua m inh. H ay co sinh vien luon phan nan ngirdi
cim g phdng hay "buon dira le" trong khi co ta la ngirdi hay dira
chuyen; cdn cau thu da triTQt qua bong trirdc gon, thay vi t y trach
minh anh ta lai dap chan xuong ngQn co nhir the ngQn co la
nguyen nhan can trd qua bong bay vao gon. Nhirng pham chat
nhir ton trQng, chap nhan, khong phan xet than chu cua nha tham
van co the giup cho than chu doi mat vd i van d'e ciia hQ, hirdng tdi
trach nhi£m cua ban than hon la do 16i ra ben ngoai.

- C a c h e n e tra n h , p h u din h h o a c cu" tu y et

La tir choi mQt cach vo thirc mQt hi<?n th y c dang xay ra. La s y
gat bo mQt y nghi, mQt bieu tiTQng trong dau va neu no xuat hi?n
thi xem nhir khon g phai do ban than nghi den. Chim g ta ne tranh
s y that, s y dau buon hay sQ hai bang cach ufng xir lam n ga nhir
khong co chuyen gi xay ra. Dieu nay neu viTQt qua gidi han se trd
thanh s y tron thoat th y c te.

Trong cuqc song, nhieu ngirdi tin rang chi can Id di, de mac k§
no roi s y vi£c xau hay cam xuc dau buon se qua di, va nhu1the nan
de se bien mat. Vi du: Ong bo biet minh co b£nh nang thay vi ban
bac vdi nhim g ngirdi trong gia dinh de lo chira tri, ong h i cho minh
hoan toan khoe m anh, dat ra nhieu ke hoach hoat dQng cho tirang
lai, nhim g lai ngan cam mQi ngirdi khong diTQc noi den tinh trang
b?nh ciia minh. H ay nhu” d ca quan nQ, moi nam ngirdi ta cho can
bQ kham sire khoe djnh ki, nhimg chi nQ da khong di kham ngay ca
khi chi ta da dim g tnrdc cira phong kham. Chi ta sQ phai biet thyc te
214 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

b en h tr^ng cu a m inh, vi v a y m uon lam ngO coi nhuf la "k h on g co gi

xay ra". H oac b a c y h an g xom 80 tuoi cur k h a n g kh an g noi la khong
b ao gid nghi den cai chet.

C o che ne tran h, phu dinh thtfc/ng xa y ra tron g cac gia dinh co

tre ch am p h at trien tam than. N hin ch ung ve y thu’c cac cha m e nay
deu nhan thu'c r 5 tin h tran g roi loan cua con. B ang mQt mQt im g xir
het sire vo thu'c hQ da phu nhan, ctf tuyet v&i s y that. V i s y that nay
kh ien cho hQ sQ hai, can g thang. D o la cach p h on g ve cua cai toi. Vcri
ngtfefi co H IV cu ng vay. O giai doan dau bj nhiem H W hQ thtfcfng tir
choi, c y tu yet ket qua xet nghiem , hQ di kiem tra nhieu Ian vcri hy
vQng rang ket q ua b j nham vcri ai do, m ac du tron g y thu'c hQ biet rat
ro m inh da bi H IV va do nguyen nhan nao. C hi can n gh i den cai chet
da kh ien hQ sQ hai, nen de giai th oat s y can g thang, cQ che phu djnh
va c y tu yet xu at h ien de gift cho cai toi diTQc can ban g.

T ro n g th am van, kh on g it than chu m on g m u on nha tham van

giup d o giai quyet van de cua m inh n hu n g hQ lai k h o n g chiu noi ra
nan de, h o a c chi noi mQt phan s y that cua nan de. Rot cuqc ca tham
van bi th at bai. K hi nha th am van nhan th a y th an chu ne tranh noi
ve nan de ciia hQ, mQt m at nha tham van can n h ac tran h cho than
chu cam th a y b e b an g trtfc/c s y th at phu phan g, tran h cho than chu
th em mQt lan to n thuQng khi phai nhef ve cai qua kh ir m a than chu
m uon ch on vui. T u y nhien, nha th am van cu n g ch an g giup dirge gi
cho th an chu kh i hQ cu ng roi vao co che ne tranh, lam n go. Khi than
chu co n an de thi can p h ai dirge doi m at. C on doi m at nhtf the nao
thi do la k i n an g v a kin h n ghiem cua nha th am van.

- Ccf c h e b ii t r it

C him g ta che day mQt 16 i lam , mQt kh u yet diem h oac muon
kh ac p h u c nhtfng yeu kem ve than the h oac tam tri ciia minh
b an g cach phat trien mQt net tin h cach h ay lam mQt hanh dQng
tich ctfc m a ngtfdi kh ac chap nhan dtfQc. H ay noi d on gian la khi
chun g ta cam th a y yeu kem of mQt khia canh nao do, ta se vtfQt
len 6( mQt linh v y c kh ac hoac p hong dai dac diem tich ctfc de che
giau, bii trir nhtfng dac diem yeu kem m a k h on g kh ac p h u c dtfQc.
C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li 2 15

Vi d y: H qc sinh yeu kem v'e hQe ly c co the phat trien mQt net
tinh cach tfng xtf ton trQng ngtfdi khac, h ay giup dQ ngtfefi khac
de co dtfQc stf ton trQng d nhtfng ngtfdi xung quanh, de bu trtf stf
yeu kem v'e hQe hanh cua m inh. Hoac mQt ngtfdi hun g hang vdi
ban be co the trd thanh ngoi sao bong da dtfQc kinh trQng; ngtfdi
phy ntf k h on g co kha nang sinh con da trd thanh mQt ngtfdi bao
m au li ttfdng, hanh vi nay bu trtf cam giac thieu hut cua minh;
hoac mQt ngtfdi bi thQt chan lai phat trien thu di du lich, anh ta
da di rat nhi'eu noi de chtfng m inh cho ban than h oac ngtfdi khac
rang anh ta k h on g thua kem ai ca. V iec bu trtf ban g cach di lai
nhieu nhtf vay giup anh ta thoat khdi y nghi v'e stf thieu hut, stf
"kem cdi" cua m inh.

T ro n g cuqc song se la tuyet vdi khi m oi ca nhan phat trien

toi da cac nang ltfc cua ban than. T u y nhien neu stf co gan g nay
xuat hi?n nhtf la mQt cQ che phdng ve cua ban nga (cai toi) thi
no se k h on g ben vtfng, no chi nhtf mQt stf kh oa lap, bu trtf tam
thdi khi ca nhan cang thang, lo lang vi cam th ay k h on g bang
ngtfdi kh ac nen phai bu trtf mQt cai gi do. T ron g qua trin h tham
van, neu nha tham van nhan th ay than chu co cQ che bu trtf -
lam de chtfng m inh mQt stf thieu h yt nao do thi phai giup anh ta
nhin trtfc dien vao van d'e cua m inh, giup than chu nhin van d'e
cua m inh nhtf no vo n co. Khi nhan thtfc dtfQc thtfc te van d'e cua
m inh, than chu co the cai thien dtfQc no.

- Ccf c h e h a p li hoa

La tim cach li giai, bien m inh cho hanh vi vo li ban g cach

gan cho no nhtfng n gu yen nhan co ve hQp ly, dtfa ra nhtfng li le
de bien m inh mQt cai Toi m eo mo cua m inh. H ay co the noi la ca
nhan vien ra li le kh on g dung stf that nhtfng co ve logic, dtfQc xa
hoi chap nhan de giai thich, thanh m inh cho hanh dQng hoac
cam xu c k h o n g h ay cua m inh; tim li do xac dang de bien m inh
cho viec k h on g the tien hanh dtfQc, hoac ngtfQc lai de giai thich
cho mQt tfng xtf k h on g the chap nhan dtfQc.

V i d y : Ba m e d a n h con va cam th a y co lo i n en th a n h m in h
ran g: “T o i d a n h no de no nen n g tfd i” ; “Y eu ch o roi ch o v Q t ” ;
216 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

h oac ngtfdi anh th ieu quan tam va k h on g co trach nhiem vdi

ngtfdi em thi lai noi: “ Phai de cho no ttf lap tro n g cuqc song no
m di nen n gtfdi” ; h a y nhtf ngtfdi chong tro n g qua trin h lam thu
tu c li di vd i vQ da nhat quyet ddi toa an cho nuoi hai dtfa con vdi
li do rang dira tre se bi htf hong neu d vd i m e chung, vi me chung
htf h on g kh i doi bo anh ta, rang anh ta rat thtfOng con va trtfdc
m at quan toa anh ta dong vai la mQt ngtfdi cha tot, mQt ngtfdi vi
gia dinh. T ro n g kh i tren thtfc te anh ta k h on g co trach nhiem vdi
vQ con va anh ta cung kh on g co dieu kien nuoi con. V iec dtfa ra li
do be ngoai co ve hQp li la de che giau li do, dQng cO ben trong la
nham lam ngtfdi vQ dau kho. N htf vay, vd i cO che vien li le, ca
nhan da qu y gan hanh vi kh on g the chap nhan cua m inh b in g
nhung li do m a xa hQi co the chap nhan dtfQc, tro n g khi thtfc te
hanh vi do k h on g phai bat nguon tir li do nhtf ca nhan dtfa ra.

Khi th an chu sir d y n g co che vien li le de hQp phap hoa hanh

vi cua m inh thi co the than chu la ngtfdi h a y ne tranh, ngtfdi
thieu ttf tin va k h on g thira nhan loi lam cua m inh. M at khac,
than chu la ngtfdi sQ bi danh gia. N ha th am van co giup dtfQc
than chu giai th o at khdi co che vien li h a y k h on g phu thuQC vao
viec nha tham van co hieu dtfQc dQng cQ thtfc stf cua hanh dQng
do h ay k h on g va stf b ay to thai dQ ton trQng cua nha tham van
doi vdi than chii.

- Ccf ch e ch u y e n d i

D o la stf c h u y e n c a m xu c h a y p h a n i m g t i e u ctfc ciia m i n h tir

m Q t d o i ttfQng n a y s a n g d o i ttfQng k h a c h o ac s a n g d o vat. Chung
t a t h a y t h e m Q t h a n h dQng k h o n g t h e t h t f c h i e n dtfQc ban g mpt
h a n h d Q n g co th e thtfc h i e n dtfQc n h a m g i a i t o a c a m xuc tieu
ctfc. T r o n g d a n g i a n , h i e n ttfQng n a y gQi la “G ia n ca c h e m t h d t ” .

V i dy, thay vi gian thu trtfdng hoac can phai dan xep vdi thu
trtfdng vi hanh dQng tho lo vdi m inh, ngtfdi chong lai ve quat vQ,
m ang con; hoac nhtf cau hQC sinh ttfc gian co giao nen xe sach vd.
Nhtf vay, ca nhan da trai qua stf ttfc gian vdi thu trtfdng, vdi co giao
khi nhtfng ngtfdi nay da lam ton thtfOng anh ta, nhtfng anh ta
C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van ta m li 217

khong the trut gian len nhung ngtfdi do dtfQc vi nhung quy tac
chuan m yc khong cho phep, hoac anh ta cam thay khong nen lam
hay khong dam lam , nen anh ta da chuyen s y gay han cua m inh len
vgf con hoac cac do vat thay vi len thu trtfcmg hay co giao.

- Ccf ch e th o a i lu i

K h i b j ro i v a o tin h h u o n g h a n g h y t, co n ngtfefi co th e ne
tran h ca n g t h in g , tufc g ia n b a n g cach b ie u hi£n n h tfn g h a n h vi
cu a tre th o . T h o a i lu i la q u a y tr d lai g ia i d o a n k e m p h a t trie n cu a
chuTc n a n g ta m li v d i n h tfn g b ie u hi<?n cu a tin h tre co n (nhi h oa).

V i dy: T ro n g qua trinh tham van, stf xuat hi£n co che thoai
lui th d i thef au d th an chu the hi£n of han h dQng nhdng nheo,
giam chan, m ut tay, c in m ong tay, la het, m ach ngtfdi 1cm... the
hi?n net hanh vi p h y thuQC vao ngtfdi ldn - nhtfng hanh dQng
cua mQt dtfa tre nho of ngtfofi ldn tuoi cho phep nha th am van
nghi td i stf cang th an g, stf lo lang, gian dtf, h ay stf thieu tin
ttfdng vao ban than cua than chu.

- Ccf ch e th a n g h o a

La stf h o a t h o a nhtfng x u n g ltfc b a n n a n g k h o n g dtfQc th o a

m an do b i c a m ky, k h o n g dtfQc ch ap n h a n v a o nhtfng h o a t dQng
dtfQc xa hQi de cao n h tf n g h e th u at, k h o a hQC, to n g ia o n M m
htfdng tofi mQt m y c dich cao dep, th ic h n g h i dtfQc vcfi xa hQi.
N htf v a y , v d i mQt so ca n h a n kh i tin h d ye k h o n g dtfQc th o a m an ,
k h o n g d at dtfQc n h tf y m u o n th tfdng th a n g h o a v a o cac h o a t
dQng dtfQc x a hQi c h a p n h a n , d ac b i? t la lin h vtfc s a n g ta o ngh<?
th u at n h a m m a n g d e n stf th o a m a n ca n h a n thtfc stf.

V i du: MQt ngtfdi co xu htfdng m anh m e ve tin h d ye co the

trd th an h mQt hoa si h ay mQt nha ch yp anh kh oa than. N gtfdi co
xung n ang ac dam kh i bi don nen, bi cam k y thdi th o au ldn len
co th e trd th an h cac dd te hoac phau thu at vien gioi. H ay d gia
dinh nQ, vQ ch o n g bat hoa khon g cutf van noi h oac bat ltfc kh ong
day dtfQc con nen hQ da thang hoa vao cac hoat dQng co y nghia
xa h<?i. N gtfdi ch o n g trd nen say m e nghien ctfu kh oa hQC, ctf
nhtf th e neu anh ta k h on g lam vi£c nhtf vay thi khoa hQe bi giam
chan; cdn ba vQ thi trd thanh nha hoat dQng ttf thi?n dang kinh,
218 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

k h i b a ta b o ra nhi'eu th d i g ia n v a tien b a c de ch a m lo ch o nhtfng

dura tre co H IV h a y b i m o co i so n g tro n g ch ua.

B a n g ki th u a t tro ch u y en , n h a th a m va n co th e loi ra anh

sa n g n h u n g b a n n a n g vo thu'c k h o n g dtfQc th o a m an cu a than
ch u bi d o n n en x a trtf va o ca c h o a t d p n g tich e y e diTQc xa h(ji
tra n tr o n g n h u 1k h o a h(?c, n gh e th u a t, to n g ia o h a y xa hoi.

- Ccf ch e h u y e n tw&ng, mcf m on g

C a c ca n h a n tim cach viTQt q u a ap ly c cu a th y c te b a n g cach

h u y e n h o a c , mof m o n g h a y ta o ra n h im g cau ch u y e n “hoang
d ird n g ” de tro n tra n h n hirn g lo au. H u yen tird n g la m pt s y chay
tro n t h y c te q u a k h o k h a n . N h u 1 va y, k h i g a p trird n g h o p cam
th a y k h o viTQt q u a , ca n h a n de co s y h u y e n tird n g. D a y la m ot ccf
ch e p h o n g v e tro n g q u a trin h h in h th a n h b a n n g a, th e h ien cach
th o a h ie p gitfa b a n n ga, ca c x u n g ly c b a n n a n g v a t h y c te. V i dy:
K hi bi ngirdi k h a c la n at m ot so ngirdi mcf tfdc m in h co phep la,
co stfc m a n h cu a sieu n h a n de tieu d iet h o. H a y n h tf d nha no,
dtfa b e m d i sin h diTQc ca n h a q u a n ta m da k h ie n dtfa chi ghet
em , n o tird n g tird n g em m in h la con q u y x a u xi, no th a t stf tin
ra n g em no la dtfa tre n h a t diTQc n g o a i d ird n g v a th a m chi no con
"irdc gi ch o o n g b a b i b a t em di". 6 trird n g p h o th o n g , g ia o vien
cu n g h a y g a p trird n g h o p dtfa tre "c h o n g ca m " m o m o n g nhin ra
n g o a i trd i, nd ra t ngO n g a c k h i g ia o v ie n y e u cau n h a c lai bai.
N h tfn g trird n g h o p nhir v a y da p h a n r o i v a o n h tfn g dtfa tre hoc
k e m , ttf ti. V i v a y , ch u n g tim n g u o n v u i tr o n g n h tfn g g ia c m d, stf
h u y e n tird n g de tro n tra n h n h tfn g ca n g th a n g d o k h d n g h ieu bai.

H u y e n ttfd n g th y d n g d a n h ch o n h tfn g cau ch u y e n vo thtfc

d a c b ie t cu a th d i ta m b e. K hi ca n h a n "tro n " v a o s y m o m ong,
v a o ca c cau c h u y e n h u y in h o a c de tim diTQc s y la c th u , de cam
th a y k h d n g cd n p h a i lo la n g , k h d n g p h a i n g h i d en th y c te. Nhir
v a y , th a y v i v ie c diTOng d au v d i n a n de cai th ie n c u o c so n g cho
to t h o n , m o t so ca n h a n la i tim ldi th o a t b a n g co n d ird n g mO
m o n g , h u y e n h o a c.

- Ccr c h e d o n g n h a t hoa.
D o n g n h a t b a n th a n vd i ca n h an h o a c n h o m m a m in h ch o la
cd g ia tri de ta n g ca m g ia c co gia tri cu a b an th a n la ccf ch e qua
 C H lT O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam If | 219

do ch un g ta chap nhan cach thu’c ung xtf nhu1mQt hinh m au cua

ngtfdi m a ch un g ta ngtfdng mQ. Khi chung ta lam giong hQ,
chung ta cam th ay long ttf trQng cua m inh dtfQc tang len, bang
cach nay chung ta dtfQc ngtfofi khac chap nhan.
V i d y : C o b e th ic h ca si X nen da de toe, an m a c v a di d u n g,
noi n a n g g io n g X . H o a c b at ch tfd c cach di dtfng, tr a n g d iem
g io n g n tf d ie n v ie n Y. cu a H an Q u oc. H ay, cau b e n g tfd n g mQ
ngtfefi h a n g x o m v i v a y cau th tfd n g noi la "ld n len co n se trd
th an h b a c sy", cau d o n g n h a t b an th a n va o n gtfdi h a n g x o m de
trof th a n h ngtfofi b a c si.

T h o n g thtfdng chung ta chap nhan, bat chtfdc cach song cua

ngtfdi m a ta ai mQ, kinh trQng. H oac chung ta nhat lay mQt vai
dac diem cua ngtfdi kh ac hoa nhap vao ban than cho gion g hQ.
- C a ch e h in h th a n h p h a n tin g n g ita c

La mQt cQ che ttf v§ the hi£n phan tfng ngtfQc lai y m uon b|
don nen - y m uon mQt dang nhtfng the h ifn ra ngoai lai hoan toan
ngtfQc vdi no. Chu the co nhtfng bieu hi£n di ngtfQc lai vdi cai
minh m ong m uon trong dau nham che giau nhtfng tinh cam , suy
nghi thtfc cua m inh mQt cach vo thtfc. Dd la mQt cam xuc, suy
nghi tieu ctfc dtfQc the hi?n ra ngoai bang mQt cam xuc, suy nghi
hay hanh dQng tich ctfc. V i dy: Cau con trai cam nhan d ban than
mQt stf ham m uon tinh due m anh li£t nhtfng cd the phan tfng
bang cach luon phe phan bQn con gai lang lo va xay dtfng d m inh
mQt tinh cam cam ghet phu ntf. H ay co gai rat thich ngtfdi ban
trai, luon tim cach m uon gan cau ban, nhtfng khi anh ta rtf di choi
thi co ta ttf choi va noi la khdng thich. MQt ca si noi tieng luon len
tieng bao v£ tre em va da tfng hQ rat nhi'eu tien lam ttf thi?n giup
tre em ngheo tren the gidi, nhtfng anh ta lai bi ra toa vi bi to cao
cd hanh vi lam d yn g tinh d ye tre em.

F re u d ch o ra n g du ca c cQ ch e p h d n g v£ d iin ra tr o n g h a n h vi
b in h th tfd n g cu a co n n gtfdi th i ch u n g cu n g n g a n tr d k h a n an g
cu a co n n gtfd i tfng p h o v d i vi£c giai q u y et cac va n d'e v o thtfc. V i
th e n h a th a m v a n p h a i b ie t nhtfng cach th tfc tro n g do cac cQ ch e
n a y n g a n tr d th a n ch u im g p h o trtfc tie p v d i cac v a n de cu a m in h
220 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

de p h a b o c h u n g , ta o di'eu ki<?n ch o tien tr in h th a y d oi v a trtfdng

th a n h cu a th a n ch u co th e d ien ra.

H o a t d p n g th a m v a n d oi h o i ca c n h a th a m v a n p h ai n im
vtfn g n h tfn g ca c h th u ’c m a th a n chu sir d y n g ca c ccf ch e p h o n g v£
de tra n h p h a i ufng p h o tr y c tiep v d i ca c v a n d'e k h o k h a n cua
m in h . M a t k h a c, v i? c la m sa n g to an h h tfd n g cu a cac co che
p h o n g v § d o i v d i ca c h a n h v i co roi lo a n ta m li ciia th a n chu se
g iu p ch o hp dtfO ng d au to t h o n v d i nhirng k h o k h a n cu a cuqc
so n g v a ta o di'eu ki£n ch o tie n trin h th a y d oi v a trtfd n g th an h .

4. M oi quan h$ giu'a nhan thu'c, xuc cam va hanh vi ciia

ngitdi co nan de cang thang

a. N h ir n g bieu h ien cu a ccf the k h i co n a n d e ca n g than g

Nhirng d§u hieu r6i loan co’ thd

N a n d'e g a y ra n h irn g ro i lo a n cO th e ( n h y h in h tr e n ) 1 neu

k h o n g d ird c g ia i q u y e t sd m , tich ty lau nhirn g rdi lo a n c o th e co
th e sin h ra b<?nh. T r o n g trtfd n g h o p nay, d'au tie n p h a i td i cac cO

1 H inh dirqfc ve lai tir tai lieu t£p huan ciia U n icef Vi£t N am ve th am van
H IV /A ID S (20 03)
C H l f O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li | 221

sd y te k h a m b£nh de dtfQc d u n g th u o c v a sau d o h o a c cu n g vcfi

th u o c la th a m v a n / trj li?u tam li.

b. N h itn g bieu hien ciia nhan th itc khdng p h ii hctp

K hi n an d'e chira d iryc giai quyet, stf n han thtfc co nhtfng b ieu
hi£n roi lo a n , k h o n g p h u h o p , ca n han th ird n g co n htfng su y nghi,
niem tin nhir m ieu ta dirofi day:

Bi§u hien nhan thu’c khi co nan

nghia quanh quan Suy nghi cham Khong nghi ra

Khong biet
quyet dinh nhu Khong nhd
the nao

Hoang ttfcmg
Bi lan Ion
Hoi tirdng lien mien

Suy nghi tieu eye Nghi ngof

Kho tap trung

N h tfn g n iem tin h u y h oai gop p h an la m ta n g stf n h an thtfc

k h o n g d u n g k h i ca n h a n gap phai nan de. T h o n g th ird n g nhtfng
n iem tin sai la m th ird n g gan vd i cac ttf nhir "n en ", "p h ai", "kh d n g
b ao g id ", "n h a t d in h ", "ch ac ch an ", lu o n k h a n g d in h h o a c phu
djn h m p t d ieu gi do chira b iet th eo kieu:

- D d i la b a t co n g th e day!

- A i cu n g m a y m an het, chi cd toi la k h d n g m ay!

- M o i ngirdi k h d n g nen nghi xau v'e tdi!

- T d i n h a t d in h p h a i do dai hoc!

- Cd k h d n g b a o g id diroc noi doi tdi!

222 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- T o i ch a c ch an k h o n g lam dtftfc dieu nay!

- T o i p h a i la ch o dtfa ch o gia dinh!

N h u n g s u y n g h i tieu ctfc tren d an d en n h tfn g x u c cam am

tin h , tieu ctfc v e b a n th a n , ve ngirdi kh ac.

c. N h itn g bieu hien x a o tron x u c ca m k h i co nan d e g a y cang

thang

Y eu to xu c cam co anh htfdng ttf nhtfng niem tin sai l£ch. Khi
nhan thtfc co tin h htfy hoai thi se dan den stf roi loan cam xuc.
N htfng li$t ke dtfdi d ay cho th ay cac bieu hi?n cam xu c kh ac nhau
khi cd n an de. N h in ch un g nhtfng cam xu c n a y deu cd tin h tieu ctfc.

Bieu hi^n cam xuc khac nhau khi co nan de

Ghen tuong Tu> d& I6i cho ban than
Mac cam toi ldi
Cam thay xa la

/G iu p to i]
That vong Hi vong vai I
Cam thay Bj bo ro*i

\ cam giac bj phan boi

D i n6i nong J Cam th iy khong ai

yeu thu’O'ng

Lo lin g Tui h6 Cam xuc lln Ion

Bi ti> ch6i Gian X3u hd S o hai

Cam thay vo vong BM Itrc

De noi nong Bj don nen Co dom

Bon ch6n Co do>n Ti>c gian

Buon

K hi th a n ch u cd n an de hQ de n h in n h an van d'e sai lech , cam

th a y co rat nhi'eu cam x u c ch at chtfa tro n g lo n g va k eo theo
nhtfn g roi lo a n co th e. V i du: su y n g h i k h d n g ro ran g, tieu ctfc,
ca m g ia c ttfc gian , h a y lo lan g, cO th e m et m di, d au d au . tham
chi d an den h a n h v i k h o n g ch u an m tfc n h tf n oi n a n g ld n tieng,
g a y g at ...n h tfn g cam x u c tieu ctfc.
C H l f O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li | 223

d. N h u n g bieu hien cua hanh vi ting p h o v&i nan de cang thang

Cd the co nhi'eu cach ung pho khac nhau doi vcfi tinh huong
nan d'e. T u y nhien khong phai bao gid ngirdi ta cung sir dyng
nhutig cach ung pho phu hQp va khong sir d yn g nhirng cach ung
pho khdng phu hop, du ho biet ro dieu nay.

Chung tdi li£t ke dudi day mQt loat cac cach ung pho khi ca
nhan gap cang thang bdi nan d'e. Co nhirng cach im g pho phu
hop, giup giai toa hoac "chira tri" dirdc nan d'e. N hung th yc te cho
thay, khi ca nhan cang thang, ngirdi ta kho cd the cd dtfdc nhtfng
cach thu’c im g pho phu hop. Vi vay phai can den cac nha tro giup
tam li de cd dtfQc cach thirc im g pho phu hQp.

Cac cach im g pho khi co nan de

Bo n h o m , b o v ie c Di du lich , di dao

R ut lui (khon g m u on noi chuyen • C h o i th e th ao

h a y ch oi vd i ngtfdi khac) D on dep
N oi k h d n g ro ran g, k h o hieu T a m stf vd i ngtfdi m in h
D ap p h a do d ac tin cay

T ra n h h o a c tri h o a n k h d n g lam N h d stf g iu p dd

vi^c p h a i la m T ap th e d y e
G ia v d n h tf m oi v ie c d eu on V ie t lai dieu x a y ra
K h d n g m u o n tiep x u c . N g h e n hac, xem ti vi...
vd i n gtfdi k h a c
T im b an m d i
K h d n g m u o n n a n g d on g
N oi cho m oi ngtfdi b iet
n h tf b in h th tfd n g
m in h cam th a y th e nao
D an h n h au •
G ap ngtfdi ttf van
D o ldi, triit gia n
T h a m n gtfdi th a n q uen
L am lieu •
Ctfdi dua, kh d i hai
C h o i d i?n tir
L am viec m iet m ai hQn,
T tf ch o la m in h cd ldi dieu m in h tfa th ich
LTo n g rtfQu, b ia. h u t th u o c . D$t th tf ttf tfu tien (lam
224 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

• U ong th u oc an than nhutig viec quan trpng

• T h a n p h ie n tn rd c ti§n)

• N o i lien t y c v'e mQt sir v ie c * nSu y^n

• P h o n g dai, cirdng dieu van de * ** ^lcfn’

nhieu hQn
• Cd g in g giai thich vd i ngirdi gay
4.1,- x, ' u * A n nhieu hQn/it hQn
cang thang cho m inh '
• H a y tra n h lu a n . ’ s d m - th lic

C a c y e u to g iu p g ia m n h e h a n h v i k h i co ca n g t h in g nhir ty
n h a n th u ’c, b a y to , nhof ngirdi g iu p d d , s u y n g h i lin h hoat,
th iro n g th u y e t v a di la m th a m v a n h a y trj lie u la ra t can th iet de
g iu p th a n ch u cd ca ch ufng p h o p h u hQp k h i r o i v a o tin h huong
ca n g th a n g , d an d en k h o n gu , an k h d n g n g o n , d ac b ie t la co roi
lo a n h a n h vi.

e. P h a n tich m di lien he g itia n han th tic , x u c ca m va hanh vi

Bat ke mQt nan d'e nao xa y ra d ca n h an cun g chju anh

hirdng lan nhau giira cac yeu to n han thu’c, xu c cam h ay hanh
vi. MQt nan d'e xu at hien cd th e n han th a y qua h an h vi, sau do
nd keo th eo n han thu’c va xu c cam . N h im g nd cun g cd the b it
dau tir cam xu c tieu e y e n ay sinh sau do keo th eo n h an thu’c va
h an h vi. T u y n h ien thirdng th a y h o n ca la nd b i t dau tu" niem
tin, nhan thu’c sai lam cua ch u n g ta v'e van d'e nao do va no keo
th eo xu c cam tieu e y e va h an h vi tiTOng ufng vd i n han thu’c va
xu c cam do.

V i du d y d i d a y ch o th ay: N an de cu a th a n ch u la noi lo lin g ,

ca n g t h in g v i ki th i d ai hQC s i p td i. C au ta ca n g t h in g td i m u’c he
an va o la n o n ra, m at n gu v a dau b u n g lien ty c.

N h a th a m v a n trd ch u yen v d i th an chu va n h an th a y co moi

q u a n h e tie u e y e giira s y n h an th u ’c, x u c cam va h a n h vi ciia than
ch u lien q u a n d en ap ly e hQe tap va thi dd dai hQe. N h a th a m van
da b ie u d ien ca c m o i q u a n h e giira nhirng y e u to n h a n th u ’c, xuc
cam v a h a n h v i th eo m d h in h dirdi day.
 C H U O N G 4: N h a th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van ta m li 225

Moi quan he giOa nhan thu>c, xuc cam va hanh vi

IVe nghi minh khong\ r ^
Chan hpc.
Khong hpc
the do dai hpc khong thich hpc / ■
* *■
(Nhan thire) J (Cam xuc)
v
(llin h vi)
J
NghT minh khong '''’ Chan hpc.
the do dai hpc Tre khong hpc
khong thich hpc
(Nhan thirc) (Manh vi)
\ ( C a m xuc)

Chan hpc,
Nghi minh k h o n g \
khong thich hpc Khong hpc
the do d^i hpc
(Cam xuc) (H&nh vi)
(Nhan thirc) )
Ch&n hpc.
Khong hpc / N g h T minh k h o n g \ / *
khong thich hpc
i (Hanh vi) the do d^i hpc
(Cam xuc)
(Nhgn thirc)

r Nghi minh k h o n g \ Chan h p c,^ ^ \

\ Tre khong hpc
the do d?i hpc !' •( khong thich hpc j
(H&nh vi)
(Nhan thirc) / \(Cam xuc)/

/ Nghi minh k h o n g \
I Tre khong hpc
the do d^i hpc
(HAnh vi)
I_________) \ (Nhan thirc) /

X em x et tin h h u o n g 1, n h an thu’c tieu ctfc v e k h a n a n g h o c tap

cua b an th a n da an h hu’d n g den cam x u c va h a n h vi cu a th a n chu.
Ket q u a la ca n h a n p h a i di xin th a m va n vi lo lin g , can g th a n g va
bi roi lo a n ccf th e.

T ro n g tin h h u o n g 2, cam xu c tieu ctfc ctf a th a n chu ve kh a

nang h o c ta p cu a m in h da anh hu’d n g den n h an thtfc v a h a n h vi
cua th a n ch u v a k e t q u a la anh ta can g th an g, lo l i n g v a k eo th eo
nhtfng roi lo a n cO th e, can den stf g iu p d d cu a n h a th a m van.

Q tin h h u o n g 3, h a n h v i ltfdi h o c, k h d n g h o c cu a th a n chu

dan d en k e t q u a h o c th a p kem , nen anh ta tin r i n g m in h k h d n g
cd k h a n a n g h o c (h o a c la m an h ta ch an n a n ve ch u y e n h o c h a n h )
va d ieu n a y la m a n h ta ca n g ch an h o c (h o a c la m an h ta ca n g tin
la m in h k h d n g th e do dai h o c). V a k e t q u a cu o i cu n g la an h ta bi
roi lo a n v e ca m x u c va cO th e, v a p h ai can d en stf g iu p d d cu a
n h a th a m va n .
226 Giao trinh Tham van tam li'

K hi la m vi£c v d i th a n ch u, nha th a m va n co g a n g lam sang to

n gu yen n h an d an td i n iem tin sai l$ch ciia th a n chu (vi d y, tin
r in g m in h k h d n g cd k h a n an g thi do dai h o c). N g u ye n nhan cua
niem tin n a y cd th e b a t n gu o n tir thtfc te la th an chii bi h o n g kien
thirc cO b a n , th a n ch u cd ket q u a h o c tap k em , thi giai p h ap tang
ctfdng k ien th u ’c can dtfQc th an chu su y n g h i den. G iai phap nay
cd th e g iu p th a n ch u th a y ddi dtfQc n iem tin v e n an g ltfc kem coi
tro n g h o c ta p cu a m in h . C u n g cd th e n iem tin k h d n g cd kh a nang
dd dai h o c cu a th a n ch u b at n g u o n tir thdi q uen xau tro n g hoc
tap: h o c q u a lo a d ai kh ai, h o c it, h o c k h d n g dii dQ.... thi viec tang
ctfdng k ie m so a t g id h oc, x a y dtfng ljch trin h h oc n h am th ay doi
thdi q u en xau tro n g h o c tap la dieu q u an tro n g d oi vd i th an chu.
T a t ca stf th a y doi n a y p h ai b at dau ttf ch in h th a n ch u vd i stf giup
d d cu a n h a th a m van .

IV. MOI QUAN HE THAM VAN

l. Cdc quan diem trong m oi quan h$ tham van

M oi q u a n h£ th a m va n dtfQc x a c d in h b d i ra t nhi'eu cac dac

d iem k h a c n h a u tr o n g dd p h u thuQC rat nhi'eu va o ca c p h am chat
va th a i do tfng xtf cu a n ha th a m v a n doi v d i th a n chii. T u y vao
q u an d iem n h in n h a n v'e con ngtfdi v a phtfO ng p h a p tiep can cua
m di n h a th a m v a n m a mQt so d ac d iem n ao do dtfQc n h an manh
tro n g m oi q u a n h£ th a m van .

V d i k h u y n h h tfd n g p h a n tam , nha tri li£u co g a n g htfd n g den

stf su y xet d o c la p vd i tin h k h a ch q u an cao. C h u ye n dich va
ch u y en d ich ngtfQc la nhtfng k h ia can h t r Q n g ta m tro n g m oi quan
h? tri li£u. T ro n g q u a trin h d ien giai stf ch o n g doi v a lam vi?c
th o n g q u a n h tfn g cam x u c ch u y en dich , th a n chii k h a m p h a song
so n g gitfa n h tfn g stf ki£n q u a kh ir va n htfng trai n g h iem hi?n tai
cu a hQ. Q u a dd g iu p h o cd dtfQc cach h ieu m d i va dd la nen tang
ch o stf th a y ddi n h a n cach.

R o g ers v d i q u a n d iem n h an van da n h an m a n h d en th ai do,

n h an cach ciia n h a tri li£u va ch at ltfQng ciia m di q u a n h e gitfa
th an ch u v a n h a trj lieu . O n g coi d ay la nhtfng di'eu k ie n tien quyet
C H l f O N G 4: N ha t h a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li 227

de d at dtfQc k e t q u a k h a q u an tro n g trj li<?u. O n g cho ran g n ha tri

li£u ca n p h a i co nhirng p h am ch at nhir stf tru n g thtfc, k h o n g hi§n
htfu tin h cam m an h , cam th o n g tr<?n v?n va ch in h xac, ch ap nhan
vo d ieu k i?n v a to n trQng th an chu cua m in h (stf to n trQng than
chu th e hi<?n d vi£c cir xtf tan t y y vd i co n g vi$c). N h tfn g k i nang,
kin h n g h iem m a th a n chu co diTQc qua cac b u o i tri h ?u thi th an
chu co th e ch u y en d jch san g cac m oi q u an h e b en n goai vcfi
nhtfng ngirdi co v a n de can stf g iu p dQ.

D iem trQng tam tron g m oi quan h ? cua trj li£u G estalt la khong
tap tru n g vao cac k i th u at m a nha tri li?u stf d yn g. N h a tri li?u giup
than chu trai nghi$m nhtfng cam xu c cua hQ v a de ttf ho dien dich
van de cua m iflh. N h a trj li?u kh on g dien dich van de giup nhim g lai
tap trung vao "cai gi" v a "nhu1the nao" ve han h vi t}ieu hi?n cua than
chu. T han chu xac dinh ro nhtfng vtfdng m ac chira diTQc khQi thong
ttf qua kh tf cua m in h da anh hirdng den nhtfng han h vi hi£n co ciia
than chu b an g cach trai n gh iem lai nhtfng tin h h u o n g cua qua khtf
nhir the hQ d an g song lai nhtfng gi da trai qua.

T ro n g tri lipu n h an thtfc, can nhan m an h den v i?c hQp tac tich
ctfc. N h a trj li?u v a th a n chu phai cung nhau dieu ch inh van de cua
than chu th eo cach co th e liTQng gia diTQc van d'e. T ri li?u n h an thtfc
la qua trin h tich ctfc lien ty c v a tUQng ta c co chu dich vc/i th an chu;
cac n ha tri lieu cu n g can co g an g kh u yen kh ich stf th a m gia va CQng
tac tich ctfc cu a th a n ch u tro n g su ot q ua trin h tri li£u.

T ro n g m o h in h x u c ca m - hQp li v a tri li?u h a n h vi - n han

thtfc, m oi q u a n h ? th a n m a t gitfa th an chu v a n h a tri la k h o n g
can th iet. T u y n h ien , ca n p h a i lam cho th a n ch u cam th a y diTQc stf
q uan ta m tich ctfc vo d ieu ki£n ttf p h ia n h a tri H?u. N h a tri lieu
k h o n g diTQc d o 16i h a y k e t tQi th an chii, m a p h ai hirdn g dan cho
than ch u la m cach n ao de tran h viec ttf xi v a va k e t tQi b an than .
N ha tri lieu d o n g va i trd nhir mQt giao vien , th a n chu d o n g va i tro
n htf mQt sin h vien . K h i th a n chu b at d'au h ieu dtfQc vi sao m a hQ
v a n lu o n g a p p h a i n h tfn g va n de kh o kh an , th i kh i dd hQ can h a n h
dQng mQt cach tich ctfc de n h am th a y doi n htfn g h a n h vi tie u ctfc
cu a m in h v a ch u y en nd th a n h cac h a n h vi m a n g tin h li tri.
228 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

M a c du tie p can tri lieu h a n h vi k h o n g coi m oi q u an he giira

th an chu v a n h a tri lieu d on g vai tro q u an trQng, n h im g m oi quan
h e tri li?u to t diTQc x em nhu* la birdc k h d i d'au rat can th iet de giup
q u a trin h tri lieu d at diTQc h ieu qua cao. V a i trd cu a n ha trj lieu
chu yeu la diTa ra diTQc n h im g b ai h o c p h u hQp de cd dtfQc nhufng
h a n h dQng th a y th e hQp li v a cho ra ket q u a m a n h a tri lieu cho la
ch ap n h an diTQc. C dn th an chu thi p h ai th a m gia q u a trin h trj lieu
tich circ tir d au d en cu oi v a phai sSn lo n g thir n g h iem vd i nhufng
h a n h vi m d i du ch o tro n g h a y n go ai b u o i tri lieu .

2. Cac dac diem cua moi quan h$ tham van

Du th eo q u a n d iem tiep can nao

T h a o lu a n tru 'crrg hgfp
thi m oi q u an h e giira n h a th a m van va
th an chii cu n g b ao g'dm cac h o a t dQng Gid sir ban phat hien ra

la giu p th a n chu n h an b iet va th au mot than chu cua minh

cung luc co quan he tham
h ieu n h im g su y n gh i, cam xuc, h a n h vi
van v&i mot nha tham
cu a m in h. Q u a do ta c d o n g lam th a y
van khac. Than chu nay
ddi cac su y n gh i, cam xu c, h a n h vi tieu
khong muon ket thuc moi
c u t v a p h a t h u y n h im g yeu to tich c y t
quan he tham van v&i
cd trOng th a n chii.
nha tham van kia, nhirng
C ac n h a th a m va n th eo q u an d iem lai muon duy tri quan he
tiep can th a n ch u k h a c n h au th ird n g tham van v&i ban. Vay
n h in th a n chu th eo cac gia tri k h a c ban se lam gi?
n h au . V i du, th eo A . Y eo , v a C. R o gers,
th a n ch u la ngirdi n a n g dQng, dQC dao, cd tra ch n h iem , cd gia trj
v a h ieu b iet. Sir k e t hQp giira cac p h a m ch at ta m li k h a c n h au ciia
nh a th a m v a n v a ciia th a n ch ii se ta o n en n h im g d ac d iem khac
nh au tr o n g m o i q u an h e th a m van . N h in mQt cach ch u n g n h at co
th e th a y n hirn g d ac d iem dac trirng tro n g m oi q u an h e th a m van,
m a th eo y k ie n ciia mQt so n ha th am va n tren th e g id i nhir A. Yeo,
C. R o g ers, E. N e u k ru g , A. Y eo , K. G eld a rd va D. G e ld a rd va nhi'eu
tac gia k h a c da n oi d en , dd la: d ac d iem rien g b ie t, an to a n , kin
d ao, gan b o v d i th a n ch u , n on g am va cam th o n g , tin tird n g lan
n h au , th ich n g h i cu n g th an chii, hirdng va o m y c d ich th a m van .
 C H U O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van ta m If 229

B e n ja m in (19 8 7) ch o ran g n h im g thai do nhir p h e p h an , phan

doi, k h o n g tin tirdng, trach m ang, de doa, dan h gia thap, che
nh$o, tru n g ph^t v a tir ch oi k h o n g tiep th an chii lu o n g a y b at lp i
ch o m oi q u a n h e th a m van . NgtfQc lai, m oi q u an h e n a y can dtfQc
x a y d u n g tren ccf sd lo n g tin, th ai do ch ap n h an k h o n g p h an xet
va th a u h ie u cu a n h a th a m van.

Nha tham van

M oi quan he th a m va n

Than chu
Ch i p n h§n
Q u a n ta m
C6 t r d ch.
T&n tr o n g
- Rieng b ift n h i em
• C6 ki en th L>c - Ah toan
/ va n an g I y*c - Kin dao
- G3n bo v a i than chii
. Ti n tu a n g ban t h a n
- N6ng km va cam thong
: - Nh gn bi et ban t h a n
- Tin tu’d’ng lin nhau
Cci c g i d t r j
DOc
- Thtch nghi cung than chu
ch 3 n t h d n h Ad 0
- Hiwyng vao mud dich
-C6 kh a n an g h pp tei c
■. Kh on g ca n th i ep va o d&i tu n an g don g
■■Kh on g din h k i en C6 g ia t r j . .

M o i q u a n h e tr p g iu p doi hoi ca n ha th a m va n va th a n chu

cim g la m v ie c v d i n h a u va tim kiem giai p h ap to i un, k h a th i de
tien h a n h th tfc h ien g ia i p h ap do n h am dap tfng cac n hu cau ttf
th a n trird n g th a n h cu a th a n chu vd i stf g iu p d d cu a n h a th a m van.
M o i q u a n h e trp g iiip se cd lQi ich cho th an chu neu nd la m pt tien
trin h h p c h o i q u a lai gitfa n h a th a m va n v a th a n chu, nd tu y th u o c
va o m p t sd ye u to sau:
- N h a th a m va n cd k h a n an g xac d in h va la m ro cac va n de
cu a th a n chu;
- T h a n ch ii cd th e h ieu dirQc nhtfng cam x u c v a h a n h vi tfng
xtf cu a n h a th a m v a n , v a co k i n an g th o n g tin cho n h a th a m va n
v e stf h ieu b ie t ciia m in h ;
230 Giao trinh T h a m van tam If

- N h a th a m va n co k h a n an g ap d y n g dtfQc n h im g ch ien lu*gfc

trp giu p p h u hQp de g iu p gia ta n g nhtfng k h a n a n g cu a than chu
tro n g v ie c ttf k h a m p h a v a h ieu b iet ve b a n th a n ho, th y c hien
q u y et d jn h v a giai q u y et va n d'e, ttfc la dan d en n htfng h an h dong
co tin h san g tao v e p h a n th a n chu.
R ogers tin ran g than chu co the tim ra giai phap cua rieng minh
trong m ot m oi tn rd n g d do co m oi quan h e th am van n on g am va
thau hieu nen on g xem chinh m oi quan he th am van nhtf la mot vat
xu c tac cho stf th a y doi va tin rang viec nha th am van tim cach dira
ra ld i giai th ich th a y cho than chu la kh dng thich hQp- Do dd, ong
h oan toan kh d n g chi phoi quyet dinh cua than chu khi tham van.
Khia c^nh quan tro n g nhat cua tri lieu la m oi quan h e gitfa than chu
va n ha th a m van , tro n g do tieu diem tap tru n g vao than chu quan
tron g h o n la tap tru n g vao cac van de, m y c tieu, h anh vi, h oac vao tir
cach ch u yen gia cu a nha tham van , tri li?u.
T h e o M . D a ig n ie a u lt, m oi q u an h e gitfa n h a th a m va n va than
chtf p h a i h o i dtf b a di'eu kien:
1. T h a n ch u p h ai y thtfc v a h ieu b iet ro ran g anh ta dang gap
p h ai m o t v a n d'e.
2. A n h ta p h a i ch ap n h an noi v'e van d'e cu a m in h (du muon
h a y k h d n g ).
3. N h a th a m v a n p h ai y thtfc dtfQc v ie c trQ g iu p k h d n g chi la
mQt cuqc ga p g d th o n g th tfd n g de trao doi y k ien q u a lai, m a phai
cd th d i g ia n v a cach th tfc trQ giup.

N h tf v a y, n h a th a m v a n can phai h ieu la m in h d an g giup dd

mQt n gtfdi bQC 1q nhtfng di'eu anh ta cam th a y v a h ieu tai sao anh
ta cam th a y n h tf v a y, cu n g n h tf b ie t r in g stf th a u h ieu tin h the nay
se d ien ra tr o n g mQt th d i gian dai. C dn v'e p h ia th an chii, anh ta
p h a i y th tfc dtfQc v a n d'e cu a m in h : C u q c so n g cu a tdi b a y g id nhir
th e n ao ? Di'eu dd cd y n g h ia gi vd i ch in h tdi? T di la m gi vd i van d'e
cu a ch in h td i? T o m lai, th eo q u an n iem cu a M . D a ig n ie a u lt, moi
q u a n h e gitfa n h a th a m va n va th an chu th e h ien trtfd c het d tinh
cd y th tfc cu a th a n chu tro n g viec tim kiem stf trQ giu p . M oi quan
h ? n a y p h a i dtfQc th e h ien toi th ieu la mQt ngtfdi m u o n k h a m pha
nhtfn g tra i n g h ie m cu a m in h , va mQt ngtfdi k h a c d o n g h a n h vdi
anh ta tro n g cuqc tim k iem nay.
 C H l f O N G 4: Nha th a m van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van ta m If 231

N oi ve vi^c xay d yn g dtfQc m oi quan

he tich eye gitfa than chu va nha tham T h a o lu a n t n r d n g hgfp
van, A n d ers Dahl gQi y nhtfng tinh cach Khi mpt nhan vien tham
can co cua nha tham va n 1: van sir dyng trang phyc
- Q u an ta m tofi k h a ch h an g n h u nhu1d nha, nam tham van
m pt con n g u d i to an d ien ch tf kh o n g qua di?n thoai cho khach
phai la m ot va n d'e x a hoi, y te h ay hang lieu co anh hudng
phap ly. den chat luQng cua cuqc
tham van khong? Va anh
- C am ket lam viec vi loi ich khach
hudng nhir the nao?
hang.

- L u o n ca n h g ia c vd i cam x u c va gia tri b an th a n n h a th am

van, k h o n g dtfQc p h a n xet kh a ch h an g, ran d a y d ao dtfc h a y ap
d^t cac gia tri cu a b a n th a n len k h a ch han g.

- Stf d u n g stf t h a u h i e u d e h o trQ k h a c h h a n g . Co g a n g h i e u

v a n d e t tf q u a n d i e m c u a k h a c h h a n g .

- N h a n ra ca c d iem m an h , kien thtfc v a n g u o n ltfc cu a kh ach

h an g de g iu p k h a ch h a n g giai q u yet van d'e.

- Ccri m d d e h o c h o i t tf k h a c h h a n g b d i v i h o l a n g u d i h i e u
cuqc s o n g c u a hQ h o n b a n .

- V o ttf k h a ch q u a n va k h o n g ap dat y kien chu q u an len

k h ach h an g.

- T ru n g th tfc v a tin ttfdng.

- C u n g ca p th o n g tin ch in h x a c v a k h o n g g ia b o tr a n an
kh ach hang.

- K ien n h a n , k h o n g n en g iy c gia k h a ch h a n g m a nen d an h

th d i g ia n de h o x em x e t h o a n canh.

- B iet n h tfn g d ie m h an che cua b an th a n m in h de q u y et dinh

khi nao v a n o i n ao n en ch u yen kh a ch h an g d en kh i h o can g iu p
d d th em .

1Anders Dahl, Tai lieu hoi thao "ki nang tir van qua internet”, Ha Noi, thang 2/2003.
232 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- L u on s i n sa n g h o c h oi ke ca tu n h u n g sai la m cu a b an than
de n g a y c.\ng cai th ie n ch at ltfQng cac cuqc th a m van.

Q u an d iem tie p can th eo phtfOng p h a p th a n chu tro n g tam

cu a C. R o g ers la i ta p tru n g ch in h va o m oi q u an h e th am van.
T h e o on g, h ieu q u a th a m va n p h y th u o c ch in h va o viec nha tham
van x a y dtfng dtfQc m oi quan h e n h u th e n ao vcri th a n ch u. Chinh
vi v^y m oi q u a n h e th am va n th eo C. R o gers phai h am chtfa dtfQc
nhtfng d iem sau , x et ttf goc do n ha th a m v a n 1:

1. N h a th a m va n phai the hien m in h sao ch o th a n chu nhan

th a y n h a th a m v a n la ngtfdi "d an g tin cay, ch a c c h in , tru n g kien".
N h tf v a y, yeu to tru n g thu'c. ch an th an h cu a n ha th a m van phai
dtfQc th a n ch u cam n h an th ay tro n g m oi q u an h e th a m van nav.

2. N h a th a m va n phai cam nhan dUQc dieu gi d an g xay ra

tro n g m in h de d ien ta th o n g su ot v a p h u hQp g iu a n gon ngtf b in g
ld i v a k h o n g lafi; gitfa ld i noi va h a n h vi n htfng dieu m in h muon
noi, de co n ngUcfi cu a n ha th a m van lu o n m in h b ach , ro rang doi
vcri th a n ch u . K h i n h a th a m va n k h o n g y thu'c dtfQc b an than, co
th e se tru y e n d a t stf m au th u an , stf p h ien h a cho th a n chu. Dieu
n a y k h ie n ch o th a n ch u m at tin ttfd n g va o ch in h b an th an m inh.

3. N h a th a m v a n p h a i trai n gh iem nhtfng th ai d<? tich ctfc vdi

th a n ch u n h tf b a y to th ai do n o n g h au , ch am soc, tfa th ich, quan
tam . D ieu n a y tra n h ch o n h a th a m v a n r o i va o th ai do lan h lung
"ch u ye n n g h ie p " ctf a m o t m oi q u an h e th a m v a n vo ca tinh.

4. N h a t h a m v a n p h a i co t i n h t h a n m a n h m e, co m o t nhan
cach du m a n h d e b i e t l a p v d i t h a n c h u , de g it f cho m i n h khoi bj
ch an n a n b d i stf s u y n h tfO c c u a t h a n ch u , xao x u y e n b d i n o i sq hai
ctf a t h a n c h u v a dam chim b d i s tfle thuQ C c u a t h a n c h u .

5. M a t k h a c , n h a t h a m v a n can cd du stf an tam de ch o phep

th a n ch u b ie t l a p vd i ch in h m in h , ton tro n g th a n ch u , cho phep
th a n chu d tfQ c l a ch in h ho. Co n htf v a y th an chu m d i dtfQ c ttf do
b a y to b a n th a n : th a n h th at h a y gia doi, a u tri h a y tr tfd r g t h a n h ,
tu y e t v o n g h a y q u a ttf tin. T h a n chu ttf do dtfQ c la m in h m a khong

1 C. Rogers. Tien trinh thanh nhan, Tien si To Thi Anh & Vu Trong Cng dich. NXB
T PH CM 1992.
 C H l f O N G 4: Nha th am van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li 233

ch gy th e o ld i k h u yen d v\ th e it nhi'eu phu th u oc, h a y rap kh u on

th eo n ha th a m van .

6. N h a th a m va n co kh a nang th au hieu van d'e cu a than chu,

tu" do co k h a n a n g di vao th e gid i tinh cam va y n g h i rien g ttf cua
th an ch u v a n h in ch u n g n h u than chu da nhin th av. Di'eu n ay giup
th an chu k h o n g p h o n g v£, kh o n g quanh co m a di t h in g vao th y c
te cu a m in h.

7. N h a th a m va n ch ap nhan m oi kh ia can h cu a th an chu y

n h u con ngirdi th a n ch u, de cho than chu th a y diTQc ton trong,
dirQc ch ap n h an . C o nhir v a y th an chu se k h o n g p h ai gia doi, "deo
m at na" trirdc n h a th a m van va trtfdc cuqc ddi.

8. N h a th a m va n p h ai h an h d on g vd i d a y dii s y i-nh te tron g

m oi q u an he v d i th a n chii de cho cach d oi xtf cu a nha th a m van
kh o n g bi xem n h tf m o t de doa. N goai ra, n ha th a m van cd th e giai
th oat th a n ch u k h o i n htfng m oi lo tu1b en n goai de th a n chu co the
cam n h a n v a doi p h o v d i nhtfng xu n g dot noi tam m a ho th a y bi
de d oa tro n g ch in h b a n th a n hQ.

9. N h a th a m v a n g iu p th an chii th o a t kh oi cai sQ bi ngtfdi

k h ac d an h gia. N h a th a m van can g gitf m oi q u an h£ th a m van
n goai v o n g p h e p h a n v a d an h gia thi can g de cho th an chu dat tdi
luc n h an ra ra n g k h a n a n g v a trach n h iem nam tro n g ch in h ho.
Di'eu n a y se g iu p th a n chu dtfQc ttf do de trd th an h ngtfdi chiu
trach nhi£m v d i ch in h m inh.

10. N h a th a m va n p h ai coi th an chii n htf mQt ngtfdi d an g

tro n g tien trin h trtfd n g th an h , d an g th a y doi chu1 k h o n g bi tro i
biiQc b d i q u a kh ir ciia th an chu va qua kh ir cua b an th a n nha
tham van . N h a th a m van se han che k h a n a n g th a y d oi ciia th an
chii neu tro n g m di q u a n h<? th am van , n ha th a m van d oi xir vd i
th an ch ii n h tf m o t dira b e au tri, m ot h o c sin h d ot h a y m ot ngtfdi
bi b£nh th a n k in h . N h a th a m van p h ai thira n h an tat ca tiem n an g
ciia th a n ch ii, n h a n th a y th a n chii d an g dan trtfd n g th an h .

N h tf va y, k h i n h a th a m van tao dtfQc m ot m di ttfQng giao

ch an th tfc tr o n g su o t, tro n g do nha th a m va n so n g v d i cac cam
g ia c th y c ciia m in h ; co sir n h i?t tin h ton tro n g va ch ap n h an th an
ch ii n h tf m o t ca n h a n rien g b iet va n ha th am van co k h a n an g
234 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

n h a y cam de n h in th e gid i cua th an chu g io n g n h u th an ch u nhin,

thi th an ch u se cam n h an v a hieu dtfQc n htfng kh ia can h bj de nen
tru d c d a y cu a m in h ; T h a n chu se th a y con ngUcfi m in h trd nen
nh at q u an hQn, co th e h a n h d on g htfu h ieu hQn; Hq co the trd
nen gio n g m au n g u d i m a h o ao Udc m u on trd th an h ; Hq ttf chu va
ttf tin hQn dQc d ao hQn va ttf bQC 1q hQn; T h a n chu h ieu ngtfdi
k h a c v a ch ap n h a n ngtfdi k h a c hQn de co the dUQng dau vdi
nhtfng van d'e cu a ddi so n g mQt cach th ich d an g va de c h iu 1.

N h tfn g d iem m a C. R o gers dtfa ra doi vd i n ha th am van nhir

mQt stf d o n g g o p ld n lao cho viec xay dtfng nhtfng p h am chat dao
du'c cu a n ha th a m van va n ghe n gh iep th a m van . T a t ca nhtfng
diem tren deu p h an anh cac d ac diem tam li cua n ha th am van,
n h u tru n g thtfc, th au hieu tron ven , ton trQng, ch ap nhan than
chu, tin v a o k h a n an g giai q u yet cua th an chu. N h u n g p h am chat
n a y la m ch o m di q u an he th a m van trd n en co y n gh ia. G iu p cho
th a n ch u h ieu dtfQc n htfng noi dau, to n thtfQng tro n g qua khtf cua
m in h la do nhtfng m oi q u an h e co dieu kien tro n g cuqc son g cua
hQ sin h ra. M o i q u an he th am va n tap tru n g v a o th an chu co the
g iu p th a n chtf th a y doi nhtfng h a n h vi m a h o da co tro n g qua khtf
v a trQ g iu p th a n ch u ch u yen ttf nhtfng n h an thtfc sai lech ve ban
th a n d en n h a n th tfc d u n g dan ve ch in h hQ.

Q u an d iem ctfa C. R ogers ve m di q u an h e gitfa n ha tham van

va th an chu k h o n g chi co hieu qua tro n g th a m va n m a con rat htfu
ich tro n g tat ca cac m oi tUQng giao n han loai. R ogers tin rang neu
nha th a m va n co the dem lai nhtfng dieu kien th u an lQi nhtf tren
cho th a n chtf th i th an chu se trd nen cdi m d va hieu nhtfng noi
dau, ton thtfQng tro n g q ua khtf la do nhtfng m di quan he co dieu
ki^n tro n g cuqc so n g cu a hQ. Thtfc te nhtfng m di q u an he th am van
nhtf the n a y co th e giu p th an chu th a y ddi h an h vi m a hQ da co
tro n g q ua kh tf v a trQ giu p than chu ch u yen ttf nhtfng nhan thtfc sai
lech v e b an th an den nhan thtfc d un g dan ve ch in h hQ.

M o i q u an h e tro n g th a m van can dtfa tren n g u yen tac m em

deo, th ich n gh i cu n g th an chu. D ieu nay co n g h ia la van de cua
th an chu giai q u y et n h a n h h a y ch am phu thuQC va o tien trinh
n h a n h h a y ch am tro n g viec th a y doi tro n g th an ch u. X h a tham

1 C arl R o g ers, Tien trinh thanh nhan. To T hj -Anh &: V u T ro n g C n g d jc h . N X B T P H C M 1992.

 C H U O N G 4: Nha th am van va than chu trong moi quan he tham van tam li 235

van p h ai co th d i gian dan h cho than chu. N ha th am van phai b iet

la n g n gh e, b iet k h u yen kh ich, tran an de th an chu noi ra van d'e
cu a m in h , b ie t p h an hoi de hieu ch in h xac n h im g y n gh ia cua
th o n g tin , b iet th o n g d at de trai n gh iem n h im g gi th an chu noi ra,
va b iet k e t hQp g iu a q u an sat han h vi cir chi phi n gon ngtf vcfi ldi
noi cu a th a n chu, de loi len tu1 tan g b£c vo thirc cu a cam xu c b an
nan g den n h u n g tin h cam li tri va n him g han h vi lam chu dtfgfc.

K hi b a n v'e v ie c d u y tri m oi
Bai tap nhom
quan he tro n g th a m va n ch uyen
n gh iep , cac n h a th a m van lao 1. Hay md ta nhirng do dac,
lu yen tren th e gid i th u d n g co xu vat dung cdn thiet cho mot
htfdng co n g kh ai nhtfng yeu cau phdng tham van chuyen
tham van doi vd i th a n chu. T h eo nghiep.
hp, mQt b an chi dan v'e m oi quan 2. Ban se sap dat phdng tham
he trQ g iu p m a n g tin h p h ap li gitfa van ciia minh nhu" the nao de'
nha th a m va n va th a n chu de giai tao mdi tnrdng tham van thoai
th ich ve q u a trin h th a m van , cach mdi va an toan cho than chii?
tiep c0n li th u y et, cac g ia y u y
n h iem cu a n h a th a m van , cac dieu le cua co q u an co lien quan,
viec co n g b o g id i h an cu a stf gitf bi m at, nhtfng va n de v'e p h ap li
va nhtfng th on g, tin q u an trQng kh ac lien q u an den m o i q u an he
th am va n ... se g iu p ch o m oi quan he trQ giu p m an g tin h ch u yen
nghiep . B an chi d an n a y co th e dtfa th an ch u doc v a ki ten trtfdc
khi b at d'au v ie c th ie t lap m oi quan h e th am va n ch in h thtfc.

N e u k ru g (19 9 9 ) ch o ran g van con n h ieu n h a th a m van v a n tin

ttfdng va o nhtfng tu y e n b o co n g kh ai k h o n g b an g va n b an (ban g
m ien g) v a nhi'eu n h a th a m van nhin ch u n g con coi th tfd n g kh ia
cgnh p h a p li ciia m oi q u an he th am van . T h eo ong, d a y co le la
mQt sai lam vi n h a th a m van d an g k h o n g ttf b ao ve m in h mQt cach
d ay dii tro n g tru d n g hQp co kien tu n g va k h o n g cu n g cap nhtfng
kien thtfc cO b an v'e th a m van xtfng d an g v d i m oi th an chu. V ie c
cu n g cap th o n g tin mQt cach d ay du v'e b an ch at co n g viec cu a nha
th a m v a n v d i th a n chii, tro n g do th e hien stf th iet lap q u an he
th a m va n la niQt b ie u h ien ciia stf ton trQng th an chii.

M o i q u an he th a m va n con bi anh htfd ng b d i n h ieu yeu to,

nhtf: k h o n g g ia n th a m van (Stf b a y tri dd dac tro n g va n p hong;
236 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

tra n g p h y c n go ai h in h cua nha th am van ; b ieu hien h anh vi

k h o n g lcfi cu a n h a th a m van); y thu'c s in sa n g cu a th a n chu cho
vi^c kh a m p h a va giai q u yet va n de can th a m va n va cac pham
ch at ch u y en n g h iep cu a n ha th am van . T u y n h ien dieu m a nhi'eu
n ha th a m va n lutf y tro n g viec x a y d y n g m oi q u an he th a m van la
tin h p h a p li ciia m oi q u an h e do.

Khi g iu p d d ch o ca c th an chu, nha th a m van phai lu on y thufc

dUdc stf h a n ch e cu a th a m van . K h on g p h ai m oi van de kh o khan,
roi n h ieu cu a th a n chu deu d u p e giai q u yet th o n g q u a th am van.
H an ch e cu a n h a th a m van b at n gu on tir triet li so n g cua ca nhan
ho; h an ch e v'e dao tao , v'e nhirng m o h in h th a m van va v'e kinh
n gh iem son g, van d'e dao dire ngh'e n g h iep cu a n ha th a m van va
stf tro n g dp i cu a to chirc n o i anh ta lam viec. N h a th a m van phai
lu o n y thirc ra n g neu cac h o a t d on g cu a ho lu o n cd chira dyng
n h u n g ti'em n a n g g a y n g u y h iem cho kh a ch h a n g h o a c khi ket qua
k h o n g tien trie n k h a q uan , th i n h a th am v a n n en b a c b o vai tro
th am va n cu a m in h va d ua ra ld i kh u yen , gd i y, gid i th ieu than
ch u den ca c n h a th a m v a n lan h n gh e kh ac. V i ld i ich cua than chu
lu o n p h ai dirpc d at len h a n g dau. V e p h ia th a n chu, m o hin h van
h oa, lo i so n g, y m u o n th a t stf giai q u yet v a n d'e v a k in h nghiem
cu a ho cu n g an h h u d n g d en k e t q u a th a m van .

CAU HOI ON TAP CHlTONG 4

1. H ay li g ia i nhirng y e u cau doi v d i n h a th a m va n vd i tu cach
la m o t co n n g u d i b in h th u d n g v a v d i tu cach la m ot ngirdi
tr o g iu p ch u y en n gh iep .

2. T rin h b a y ca c p h a m ch at cu a n h a th a m v a n ch u yen nghiep.

3. N eu cac d au h ieu cu a nan d'e v a cac cO ch e p h o n g ve khi ca

n h an co n an d'e.

4. Q u a n d ie m cu a b a n n h u th e nao v'e m ot n g u d i can den stf

g iu p d d cu a n h a th a m va n de vUdt q u a kh o k h a n ciia m inh.

5. P h an tich ca c d ac d iem cua m oi q u an he th a m van .

 CHUtTNG 5

DAO OUTC TRONG THAM VAN TAM Lj

Nhitng nguyen tac dao due cung cap su" hu&ng dan cho
cdc chuyen gia tham van, giup lam ro nhitng trach nhiem
ciia cdc chuyen gia v&i xa hoi, mang lai sit yen tam cho xa
hoi vd giiip cdc chuyen gia duy tri hanh vi chinh true vd sit
tit do ciia ho tU ben ngoai cdc nguyen tac. M oi khi cdc cd
quan lap phap thong qua nhitng dieu luat ddi hoi hanh vi
Ung xU khong tudng U. ig v&i nhitng nguyen tac dao dUc
nghe nghiep thi nhung hiep hoi chuyen mon co gang yeu
cau thay doi phap luat. Neu viec nay khong thanh thi hiep
hoi se sit a doi nhung nguyen tac dao dUc cua minh cho phu
hdp v&i dao luat m&i.
(Swenson, 1993)

T ro n g ch iron g n ay, trirdc tien ch u n g to i se p h an tich m oi

quan hp giira lu a t p h ap va cac q u y
dieu d ao du’c tro n g th a m van. Sau do
trin h b a y m pt so n g u ye n ta c dao du’c
co b an cu a ca c n g a n h trp g iu p con
ngudi. T ro n g p h a n g id i thipu cac tieu
ch uan d ao du’c n g h e th a m van , ch u n g
toi se chi ra m p t so d iem cO b an tro n g
cac tieu ch u a n d ao dire tro n g n gan h
th am v a n tren th e g id i v a xem xet cac
tinh h u o n g co th e dupe gpi la vi pham
dao dire tro n g th u c h a n h th am van “ La p ra t i qu e d e l ' E t h i q u e ”
w w w .n a u tile s .u n b lo g .f r
tren th e g id i. C u o i cu n g, gid i th ieu
b an h p p d o n g th a m van dupe soan
th a o b d i cac g ia o sU T n rd n g Dai hpc M ississp p i. B an h p p d on g
dirpc trin h b a y v d i cac kh ia c<mh p h ap li can co doi vd i cac n ha
th a m v a n tro n g q u a trin h lam vipc vd i kh a ch hang.
 Giao trinh Th a m van tam li

I. MOI QUAN HE G IU A LUAT PHAP V A QUY DIEU DAO

DLfC TR O N G TH AM VAN

D oi vd i ca c n g a n h trQ giu p n h u C on g ta c xa h q i, T a m li hQe,

T a m th a n h oc, T h a m va n h a y th a m chi Lu£t hoc, cac q u y dieu dao
du’c h a n h ngh'e co nhi'eu d iem g io n g n h au , b d i vi ch u n g deu tuan
th eo cac m u c d ich h a n h ngh'e la b ao ve con ngUcfi va vi stf trtfdng
th a n h cu a ngh'e n g h iep . O cac ntfdc co n gh e trQ g iu p p hat trien
n h u H o a Ky, ca c n g u y e n ta c d$o dtfc cua ngh'e th a m van dtfQc quy
d in h b d i H iep h o i T a m li h o c H oa Ki (A P A ) co n g b o nam 1953 va
stfa doi n a m 19 9 5, H iep h o i N h an vien C o n g ta c X a h oi Q uoc gia
(N A S W ) v d i ca c n g u ye n ta c dao dtfc x a y dtfng n am i9 6 0 va stfa
doi n am 19 9 0 , v a H iep h o i T h am van H oa Ki (A C A , tru d c do co
ten gQi la H iep h o i T h a m v a n va P hat trien - A C A D ) x a y dtfng cac
n g u ye n ta c d ao dtfc ctfa m in h n am 1961 va stfa d oi n am 1995.

1. Dao du’c trong tham van

D a o du'c (eth ic) la nhtfng

n gu yen li, q u y ta c q u y din h
h a n h v i p h a i th eo tro n g quan
h e gitfa n g u d i v d i n g u d i, gitfa
ca n h a n v d i x a h oi, ttfy th eo
th e ch e ch in h tri xa h o i m a cac
ca n h a n so n g tro n g do.

D ao dtfc tro n g th am van la

th u d c do quyet dinh xem han h
vi cua nha th a m va n tron g qua
trinh th a m van cd dung, co tot, co lam sai, lam hai den than chu hay
kh ong. N oi cach kh ac, tron g quan he ttf va n tam li, ngtfdi nhan djch
vu tu van tam li co dUdc doi xtf cong b an g v a hQp li h a y kh on g? H q
co dat dtfQc h ieu qua tri lieu h ay kh on g? D ao dtfc trong tham van di
xa h o n so v d i dao dtfc th on g thtfdng tron g ddi song h an g ngay, no
kh on g chi la viec q u y dinh n ha th am van kh d n g lam di'eu xau cho
th an chu m a con dat ra van d'e la nha th am van da lam het stfc \i lQi
ich cua th an chu h a y chtfa1.

1 Nguyen Tho Sinh, Tw van tam Hcan ban, NXB Lao Dong (2006).
 C H U O N G 5: Da o dufc trong th am van ta m li 239

Stf th a y d oi lien ty c cac kh ia

canh p h a p li tro n g h an h nghe
cho th a y cac tieu ch u a n dao du’c
ngh'e n g h ie p lu o n p h an
n h u n g ch u a n m u c cu a xa hoi
dUOng dai nen n h u n g n gu yen tac
d^o du’c p h ai lu o n sura doi cho
phu h o p vcfi s y b ien doi kh o n g
ngtfng cu a x a hoi. 6 P h ap , ngan h
T am li h o c p h a t trien k h a sdm ,
n gay d'au th e k y X X , n htfng cac
q u y di'eu d ao dtfc h a n h ngh'e doc
lap ch o cac n h a ta m li h o c thtfc
han h m d i dtfQc n h a ntfdc thtfa
nhgn n am 198 6.
Chung ta suy dien thong tin,
tinh huong va hanh vi cua
ngitdi khac dita tren he thong
ch ieu gid tri cua chung ta. Dieu nay
dan dat hoac djnh hw&ng cdc
phan irng ciia chiing ta ddi v&i
ngit&i khac. Va nhit vay hanh
dong ciia chiing ta co the khong
dem lai ket qua tot nhat cho
than chii. Viec xem xet van de
ciia than chii dira tren cdc
nguyen tac dao dire vd phap li
giiip cho nhd tham van giit
dwac dao li vd hw&ng hanh vi
t&i sit chuyen nghiep.

O V ie t N am , cac q u y d ieu dao dtfc dam b ao q u yen h a n h nghe

lu at ch o cac lu a t stf m d i dUdc b a n h a n h n am 20 0 7. C dn d oi vd i
ngan h T a m li h oc, du da co b e d ay 50 n am dao tao sin h vien dai
hoc, nhtfn g h ien n ay, chtfng ta chtfa dUQc cap m a so ch o n gu di
han h n gh e trQ g iu p ta m li, m a chi co m a so ch o "n gh e d a y tam li"
- n gh e stf p h a m . R ie n g lin h vtfc th a m van , hi vQng sau m ot so
nam "ki gtfi" n h a t d in h v a o ta m li hoc, se co lu c no tr d th a n h m ot
ngan h d ao tao d o c la p v a cac n h a th a m va n se co vi tri la m viec
nhat d in h tro n g ca c lin h vtfc stfc kh o e ta m th a n , h o c dtfdng, cac
tru n g tam th a m v a n co n g d ong...

T h a m v a n la n g h e d ac th u lien q u an d en v ie c trQ g iu p n gu d i
co kh o k h a n ta m li. D ieu n a y doi h oi stf "tron g sa n g v e d ao dtfc"
cua n gtfdi h a n h ngh'e. N gtfdi lam co n g v ie c th a m v a n p h a i tu an
th eo n h tfn g q u y ta c d ao dtfc h a n h n gh e b at buQC, co n h tf v a y m d i
n a n g cao d tfdc u y tin v a vi th e n gh e n g h iep tro n g xa hoi. X et tro n g
m di tUQng q u a n v d i th a n chtf, n ha th a m va n d mQt m tfc do nhat
d in h co q u y en ltfc tro n g q u an h e th a m van , viec lam d u n g q u ven
ly c tro n g th a m v a n la p hi dao dtfc v a k h o n g ch in h d an g, v i v a y
n h a th a m v a n p h a i th y c hien th eo cac q u y ch u an d ao dtfc khi
h a n h n gh e. V ie c k h o n g tu an thu th eo cac ch u a n m y c d ao dtfc co
240 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

th e th y c s y lam h ai th an chu. T u y n h ien , cac nha tam li h o c lam

co n g ta c th a m va n , tri lieu d V ie t N am lai chira ch ju nhirng quy
d in h ch u n g nay. H ien d V ie t N am chi to n tai q u y ta c rien g le do
cac tru n g ta m th a m van , tir van t y b an h a n h va chi ap d y n g vdi
cac th a n h v ie n cu a ho. T in h h in h n a y dan d en s y k h o n g kiem soat
d u o c n h u n g ngUcfi h a n h ngh'e th am van , tri lieu nen se kh o bao v£
dirQc lo i ich cu a th a n chu va d ac b iet b ao ve v\ tri cu a ngh'e try
g iu p tro n g xa hoi.

T ren the gid i, cac n gu yen tac dao du’c ngh'e n gh iep cu n g cap sy
h u d n g dan ch o ca c ch u yen gia tro n g n gan h trQ giu p , giu p lam ro
nhirng trach n h iem cua cac ch u yen gia th am va n vd i xa hoi, mang
lai s y yen tam cho xa h oi va giu p cac ch u yen gia d u y tri tin h chinh
true ngh'e nghiep. Di'eu tra cua H einlein v a co n g s y (20 0 3) da chi
ra la cac n ha th a m van ch u yen n gh iep diTQc cap p h ep v a trinh do
cao cd mire do ch ap h a n h th eo cac q u y ch u an dao du’c ngh'e nghiep
cao h o n d an g ke so vd i n h u n g n gu di kh d n g cd ch u n g nhan.

2. Quan diem xay dutig quy dieu dg.o dice ngh'e nghiep

G ert (19 8 8 ) tin ran g nhirng p h an xet ve m at dao du’c nen dya
tren mQt ta p hQp “ nhirng ch an li m a n g tin h to a n c a u ” , m a da so
n h u n g n g u d i co tri tu e b in h th u d n g d eu cam th a y phu hQp.
N hirng ch an li m a n g tin h to an cau h a y n h u n g n gu yen tac xay
d y n g cac ch u a n m y c d ao du’c cd th e xu a t p h a t tir y tu d n g nhu"
k h o n g g ie t n g u d i, k h o n g g a y dau d d n h a y la m hai ch o n g u d i khac
v a k h o n g tu d c d o a t q u yen t y do cu a con n gu di. T h e o ong, nhin
ch u n g n h u n g ch an li n a y v a nhi'eu ch an li k h a c nifo la yeu to quyet
d in h ch o s y to n tai cu a xa h § i lo a i n gu di.

T u y n h ien , tro n g nhirng tin h h u o n g rien g b iet ciia mQt xa hoi

cy the, viec ap d u n g m o t sd chan li m an g tin h toan cau nao do co
the k h o n g diTQc coi la d u n g, la ch u an doi vd i cac nen van h oa khac
n hau v a cac th e ch e ch in h tri k h a c nhau. V i vay, n goai n hu ng quy
di'eu d ao dire ch un g: g iir b i m at, ton trQng th an chu, k h u yen khich
th an chu ch iu trach n h iem van d'e cua m inh, k h o n g lam d u n g than
ch u, b a o v e th a n chu v.v..., cac q u y di'eu dao dire can dUQc the che
h o a d y a tren n en ta n g p h ap li cy the cua m oi q u o c gia.
C H U O N G 5: Da o dure trong th am van tam If 241

M ac du cac tieu chuan dao du'c trong hanh n ghe tam li d V iet
N am va co th e d nhi'eu ntfdc tren th e gicri con chira dtfQc xay dtfng,
nhim g cac ch u an m y c dao du’c cua H iep hoi T h am van H oa KI noi
rieng, va cu a cac h iep h<?i th am van kh ac tren the gid i noi chung
(nhu* cu a A n h , T h y y sy, Phap, C an ada...) van dtfQc coi la cac tieu
chuan hu ftng dan va dan h gia n him g hanh xtf, kh o n g chi cho cac
hoi vien cua m ot q u o c gia nao do, m a con d an h cho hau het nhtfng
chuyen gia th am van tam li tren the gid i stf d yn g. C ac tieu chuan
dao dtfc n a y k h o n g chi diTQc tfng d y n g tron g lin h vtfc han h ngh'e,
m a tin h dai dien cu a no con dtfQc dira vao g ian g d ay ch in h thtfc tai
nhieu tn rd n g dai hoc, h oc vien, trun g tam , nhtfng n o i co dao tao
tham va n tam li tren the gidi.
H ieu tfng tren diTQc ly giai rang, viec xay d y n g cac quy di'eu dao
dtfc ngh'e nghiep co lien quan den bao ve con ngirdi phai xuat phat
ttf quan diem nhan va n va chung diTQc coi nhir la nhtfng h u d n g dan
hanh vi chuan cho nhtfng ngtfdi hanh ngh'e trQ giup con n gudi noi
chung va trQ giu p tam li, noi rieng va cac quy di'eu nay thtfdng m ang
tinh toan cau. V i du n h u B q C huan mtfc Dao dtfc va N htfng hu d ng
d in stf d y n g cua A C A dan g dtfQc stf d yn g tren the gidi do A C A hien
thdi la H iep hoi nghe n ghiep va giao d ye ve th am van tam li ldn
nhat tren the gidi, vd i so ltfQng hQi vien co m at tren toan the gidi da
vtfQt con sd 54.0 0 0 h oi vien (tinh den 1999 - N eukrug).
D tfdng n h tf n htfn g ngtfdi dtfQc giao n h iem v y x a y dtfng cac
ngu yen tac d ao dtfc da p h a i dau tran h vd i nhtfng n gu yen ta c phan
anh tieu ch u a n x a h o i v a ch u yen m on cho du nhtfng tieu chuan
nay da dtfQc gQt g iu a tr o n g nhtfng n g u yen ta c m a n g tin h to an cau
va /h o a c n h tfn g tieu ch u a n m a nhi'eu ngtfdi nh at tri. B at ke stf b an
hanh v'e m at xa h o i cu a ch u n g co tach b iet vd i n h au nhtfng th a t la
thu vj kh i n h an th a y nhtfng n gu yen tac d ao dtfc cu a b a ch u yen
nganh trQ g iu p - tam li hoc, th am van va co n g ta c xa h o i - tat ca
deu cu n g ch ia se n h tfn g tieu ch u an ttfQng ttf k h i dap tfng cac m y c
dich ch u n g (co th e th a m kh ao cac tieu ch u a n dao dtfc cua T a m li
hoc, T h a m va n h a y C o n g tac xa hoi).
T in h p h ap li cu a cac n guyen tac dao dtfc ngh'e n ghiep the hien d
cho: C ac n gu yen t i c dao dtfc cua ngh'e trQ giu p lu on dtfQc xay dtfng
dtfa tren b o lu at bao ve con ngtfdi do cac cQ quan lap phap th ong
 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

qua. Khi co m au th u an giua cac quy tac dao du’c nghe th am van vcfi
cac q u y di'eu cua b o luat thi phai co stf de dat stfa doi cua nhtfng hiep
hoi chuyen m on trQ giup. N eu kh ong dtfQc luat phap chap nhan, cac
hiep hQi se stfa doi nhtfng nguyen tac dao dtfc cho phu hQp vcfi dao
luat m di. O cac nUcfc co cac ngh'e trQ giup phat trien, viec xay dtfng
cac q u y di'eu dao dtfc la stf dam bao ngh'e nghiep cho nha tham van
va quyen lQi cua th an chu. Khi c u q c tham van bj that bai, cac nha
th am van lu on co n gu y co bi ra hau toa bcfi stf kien tung cua than
chu va nhtfng ngtfefi kh ac (Sw enson, 1993).
C ac n h a th a m va n va cac ch u yen gia stfc kh o e tam than co
th e bi kien th eo lu a t dan stf h o a c h in h stf k h i co nhtfng vi pham
q u y di'eu dao dtfc h a n h ngh'e. N eu m Q t nha th a m van co quan h£
tin h due vcfi th a n chu la vi p h am p h ap lu a t v a co th e bi kien len
to a an h in h stf. Du cac nha th a m van n a y co b j buQC tQi vi pham
h in h stf h a y k h o n g th i th an chu cu n g co th e de trin h d o n kien cac
n ha th a m va n ttfQng ttf tro n g cac vu to tu n g dan stf, neu cho rang
n ha th a m va n co m Q t so h a n h d on g g a y ton thtfQng tam li va/
h o ac th e ch at ch o th a n chu.

M a c du cac n g u yen ta c dao dtfc k h o n g phai la nhtfng tai lieu

ph ap li nhtfng b a t k e mQt n ha th a m v a n bi lien q u an den mQt vy
kien d an stf h a y h in h stf th i nhtfng n gu yen tac dao dtfc cua mot
h i?p h oi ch u y e n m on co th e la mQt b(j p h an quan tro n g cung cap
b a n g chtfn g tro n g v ie c q u y et d in h n ha th a m va n co tQi h a y vo tQi.
V i du sau d ay la m ot trtfcfng hQp co thtfc xay ra cf H oa Ki ma
N e u k ru g da trin h b a y tro n g cuon "T he gi& i ciia nha tham van" -
1999, vcri m u c d ich k h u yen kh ich cac g ia n g vien d ay th am van de
cap cho sin h vien ch u yen n gan h th am van th ao luan. T in h huong
can xem xet nhtf sau: M o t nha tham van no bj cao bu oc vi pham
dao du ’c vi da qua n he tinh due v&i than chu cu !

D oi vcfi n ha th am van, stf vi pham n ay kh on g d on thuan la hanh

dQng vi p h am n gu yen tac dao dtfc ngh'e nghiep, dtfQc k M n g dinh ro
rang rang: Q u an he tinh due vcfi than chu la kh on g dtfQc phep. Xet
ttf goc do ngh'e nghiep, d ay la m ot hanh vi pham luat. bat luan than
chii co m u on h a y kh on g. Con doi vcfi phap luat, d ay la stf vi pham
m an g tinh chat h in h stf, neu hanh vi tinh due bi q u y la ham hiep hay
ctfdng hiep. G ia stf rang ngtfefi co quan he tinh due vcfi nha th am van
C H U O N G 5: B a o du'c tro n g th am van tam If 243

l^i la m pt than chu cu m a nha tham van da giup d d 3 nam trad e day.
T han chu cu n ay bi ngudi yeu (nha tham van cu) bo nen cam th ay bi
lam d y n g da th u a kien len toa an hinh stf nham chong lai nha tham
van. T ro n g tn rd n g h p p nay, nha tham van co the bien H ve cac
nguyen tac dao dtfc cua H iep hpi T h am van d toa an.
V i d y , q u y dieu tron g phan A .7.b. cua A C A cd tu yen bo rin g :
“Cdc nha tham va n khdng d itp c dinh liu den q u an h$ tinh due
rieng tit v& i than chu cu trong vdng tdi thieu h a i nam sau k h i ket
thuc m di q u an he tham v a n ” (ACA , 1995a). M ac du cac q u y dieu
dao dtfc cua n ghe th a m van kh on g phai la tai lieu phap li, nhung
ldi tu yen bo n ay co th e ngam giup cho viec to ty n g b ao ve nha
tham van.

M at khac, u y vien cong to se khong the van lai dirpc vd i ldi tuyen
bo tiep theo cung dirQc tim th ay trong nguyen tac dao dtfc nghe tham
van rang: “N h tin g nha tham van co lien quan den n h tin g m di quan
he tinh due sau 2 nam cham d tit tham van co trach nhi$m cung cap
tu lieu ch tin g m inh rd n g nh tin g quan he nhu: the khdng co ban chat
Iqfi du n g .” (ACA, 1995a, Q u y dieu A.7.b.)
N h u vay, nhtfng n gu yen t i c dao dtfc co th e cu n g cap chtfng ctf
co tac dpng m an h doi vd i viec tfng hp h oac ch on g lai nha th am van
trudc toa an. T u y n h ien , can luU y r in g cac q u y dieu dao dtfc nghe
tham van k h o n g p h ai la nhtfng tai lieu p h ap li nen ch u n g d u d n g
nhir co trpn g lirpng d p h ien to a dan stf hQn la p h ien to a h in h stf.

II. M 0 T SO N GUYEN TAC DAO D tfC CO BAN

1. M uc dich cua cdc nguyen tac dao du'c nghe nghiep

C ac n g u y e n t i c d ao dtfc n gh e trp g iu p dtfpc x a y dtfng n h im :

• B ao v f th a n chu
• C u n g cap stf h u d n g dan ve dao dtfc de ho trp nhtfng hpi vien
tron g vi?c xay dtfng m pt tien trinh han h dpng chuyen nghiep
vd i m y c dich p h y c v y tot nhat cho nhtfng n gudi stf d yn g dich
v y th a m van de nan g len mtfc cao nhat nhtfng gia tri, vi the cua
cac to chtfc va n ghe th am van chuyen nghiep.

• C ac n gu yen t i c dao dtfc la yeu to de phan b iet tham van n h u

m pt nghe, kh ac vd i tu van hoac cac cupc chuyen tro giup dd
244 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

khac. V i vay, no la m pt phtfOng ti£n truyen ba stf chuyen

nghiep h oa va nhtfng dau hi?u tn rdn g th an h cua nghe nghiep.
• L on g t i n la n e n t a n g c u a m oi q u a n h£ t h a m v a n , vi£ c tuan
th eo cac c h u a n m t f c d a o d tfc la r a t q u a n t r Q n g v i no xay dtfng
v a d u y tri n ie m tin c u a th a n ch u v d i n h a th a m va n .

• C hinh thtfc h oa nhtfng nguyen tac d ung de xac dinh nhtfng

han h vi dao dtfc va vi?c han h ngh'e mQt cach tot nhat cua nha
th am van. G iup cac chuyen gia d u y tri tinh chinh trtfc
h u d n g den nhtfng hanh vi duQc kiem soat, phan anh nhtfng
tieu ch uan dUQc coi la niem mQ u dc cua ngh'e nghiep.

• T a o ra m Q t m oi tru d n g p h ap li de co th e q u yet dinh nhtfng

tin h th e dao dtfc va ch u y en m on k h o k h a n , n h a y cam .
• C u n g cap mQt phtfOng ti£n p h ap li b ao v$ tro n g trirdng hQp
mQt ch u y en gia th a m van bi k h ie u ki$n vi so su at trong khi
h a n h ngh'e v a cac nguyen t i c dao dtfc cdn la cQ sd h u d n g dan
de ch o n g la i n htfng hQi vien cu a Hi£p hpi th am van khi vi
ph^m d ao dtfc ngh'e n gh iep .

2. Cdc nguyen tac dao du’c cdn ban

- G iti b i m a t
M oi ca n h an co q u yen
sd htfu nhtfng va n d'e thuQC
ve b an th a n m in h , vi v a y
th o n g tin cu a th a n ch u noi ra
cho nha th a m va n p h a i dtfQc
dam b ao gitf bi m at va th an
chu cd q u y en tro n g dQi m pt
m oi q u an h e tin tu d n g gitfa
th an ch u v a n h a th am van
dtfa tren cac ch u an m tfc dao
dtfc ngh'e n gh iep .
V i? c g it fb i m at ch o th an
chu th e hi£n stf to n trQng
tin h rien g tu , stf b ao v£ va
Thao lu^n trirdng hQp
- Nha tham van co dwac phep noi v&i
tham chii la: "Toi se giit bi mat tuyet
ddi cho ban". Hay dwa ra nhitng li le
gidi thich vi sao co hoac khdng?
- Nhitng loai thong tin nao ban se ,
cho than chii biet la kho cd the dam
bao dwac tinh bi mat?
- Hay chuan bj ba phwang an de
trao doi v&i than chii ve nhitng van
de lien quan den vi$c bao dam tinh
bi mat. Ban phai truyen dat nhw the
nao de than chii hieu ro day la van
de thuoc ve luat nghe nghiep?
 C H U O N G 5: Dao du'c trong th am van tam If 245

u ng hp th an chu. Sir bao m at kh u yen kh ich th an chu tin tu d n g

vao m oi q u a n he th am van, do do se ch ia se nhi'eu h o n nan d'e cua
m inh. D e giir diroc bi m at van d'e cua th an ch u, n ha th am van
phai th u ’c h ien cac birdc sau:

- C u o c th a m van d u o c bo tri d
Thao luan trucmg hgfp
noi kin d ao , n g u d i k h a c k h o n g nghe
th ay v a k h o n g q u a y ray. Ban cd nghi rdng tat cd cdc
hinh thu'c cua quan he hai
- LUu giir ho s o th an chu an
chieu giifa than chii vd nhd
toan, tra n h d e m at du1 lieu h o a c lo
tham van trong quan he
dur lieu tre n m&y tin h. N hirng th o n g
tham van la khong dung v&i
tin ve th a n ch u k h o n g lien q u an den
dgo dire? Ban se lam gi neu
m yc d ich th a m v a n thi k h o n g liru.
quan he cd nhan hai chieu
- G iai th ich ch o th a n chii n gay
nay chac chan xay ra vd
tir dau cu o c th a m v a n nhirng th u t\ic
khdng the tranh dxrctc?
va q u y trin h th a m van , van de giir bi
Dieu gi se xay ra khi van de
m^t va nhirng n go ai le lien q u an den
ciia than chii khdng phai la
tinh b ao m at.
trong tam trong m oi quan
T ro n g T ieu ch u a n D ao du’c cua
he tham van?
H iep h oi T h a m v a n v a P h at trien
H oa Ki (A A C D ), P h an G Di'eu 10 co ghi: "N g a y k h i b at d'au dat
m oi q u an h e th a m v a n th i n h a th a m va n p h a i th o n g b ao ro rang
cho th an chu b ie t n hirn g gid i h an n ao tro n g viec d am b ao tin h bi
m at cu a q u a n h e th a m van . D on g th d i n ha th a m va n cu n g phai
th on g b a o ch o th a n ch u b iet la n ha th a m va n lu o n ch iu sir kiem
soat doi vcri v ie c d am b ao bi m at nhirng th o n g tin cu a th a n chu
tron g q u a trin h th a m van ". V i vay, g iir b i m at la m ot trach n h iem
dao du’c ciia n g u d i la m co n g tac th am van . N h a th a m va n chi dirge
tiet lo bi m at khi:

+ T h a n chu cho p h ep noi ra van d'e cua m in h ,

+ K hi v a n de cu a th a n chii de d oa den tin h m an g cu a b an

th a n va nhirng ngirdi kh ac,

+ Khi nha th am van bi goi ra toa chat van ve chinh van d'e nay.
246 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

V i? c n h a th a m v a n ca n h b a o ch o th a n ch u b ie t v e stf han
c h e cu a tin h b a o m a t la th u ’c h ie n n g u y e n t i c p h a p li trong
m o i q u a n h e th a m v a n .

- T h a n ch u tr o n g tam

D a y la n g u y e n ta c dU dc d a t le n h a n g d'au tr o n g m oi quan
h e th a m v a n , th a n ch u tr o n g ta m th e h ie n n h a th a m van
k h o n g th e c o n g thu'c h o a v a n de cu a b a t ki th a n ch ii nao (co
th e c o n g th u ’c h o a stf k ie n , ch tf k h o n g c o n g th tfc h o a n h an cach
ctfa th a n ch tf). K h o n g th e co m o t ca ch th tfc c h u n g , k i thuat
c h u n g ch o th a n ch u k h i d en la m th a m v a n , v i m o i m ot than
ch u la m o t tr u d n g h o p d a c b ie t. T ie n tr in h th a m van phy
th u o c v a o m tfc d o th a n ch u y th tfc v e v a n de cu a m in h va kha
n a n g th a n chtf la m ch u ca m x u c. N g u y e n ta c th a n ch u trong
ta m k h o n g ch o p h e p n h a th a m v a n d e c a c ca m x u c ciia minh
bi cu o n th e o stf k ie n cu a th a n ch u . N h a th a m v a n p h ai du
m a n h d e b ie t la p d u o c vcri co n ngiTcri v a v a n de ciia th a n chii,
c u n g n h u du la m ch o th a n ch ii an ta m d e tr a n h le th u o c vao
n h a th a m v a n .

- C h a p n h a n th a n chii

N h a th a m v a n ch a p n h a n th a n chtf vcri n h tfn g g ia tri ttf tai,

k h a c b ie t h a y d o i n g tfg c vcri n h a th a m v a n , vcri n h tfn g diem
to t, d ie m m a n h h a y d ie m x a u , d ie m y e u . C h a p n h a n k h o n g co
n g h ia la d o n g tin h iin g h o , m a la n h in n h a n th a n ch u d u d i goc
do to n g th e , c h a p n h a n stf to n ta i v o n co n h tfn g gi th u o c ve
th a n chtf. K h i th a n chtf ca m th a y m in h dU dc n h a th a m van
c h a p n h a n , th a n chtf se ca m n h a n sa u h o n v e b a n th a n , cam
th a y m in h co g ia tr i, d a n g diTOc q u a n ta m . K h i d u o c la chinh
m in h , th a n ch u se k h o n g co n p h a i "d e o m a t :ia" h a y gia doi
v d i b a n th a n v a n g u d i k h a c . C a m g ia c an to a n g iu p th a n chii
d a m b o c lo d u o c n h tfn g ta m stf th a m k in v a d u o n g d au v d i no.
C h a p n h a n k h o n g ch i b ie u h ie n ra th a i do b e n n g o a i k h o n g
p h e p h a n m a p h a i n g a y d ca tr o n g c h in h ca m x u c , s u y nghi
ciia n h a th a m v a n .
 CHlfCJNG 5: Dao dufc trong th am van tam li 247

- Ton tro n g than chu

M 6 i ngtfdi d eu co q u yen dtfOc ton Thao luan tinh

trQng n h a n ca ch n h tf m ot con ngtfdi huong
d oc lap . T o n tro n g la nhi£t tin h tin Nha tham van noi vdi
ttfd n g n gtfd i k ia n h tf m o t con ngtfdi co than chu: Sao chi lai co
gia trj b a t k e d ia vi, d ao du'c, h a n h vi, the tin vao ngir&i chong
tin h cam tich ctfc h a y tieu ctfc n oi da tirng lira doi va vu
ngtfdi ay, k in h tro n g n gtfdi ay vi nhan phu v&i me con chi?
p h am , vi co t ca ch rien g bi£t cua ho. Dang nao thi chf cung
T on tro n g la ch o m oi ngtfdi q u yen la quyet djnh li hon v&i
ch in h b an th a n h o va co cac q u an d iem , anh ta rdi ccf ma!
y n g h i v a n h tfn g cam g ia c rien g va tiep
can cac d jch v y th a m v a n k h o n g bi d in h k ie n v e co n ngtfdi, tin h
cach, to n g ia o h o a c le th oi.

V i d y , tr o n g P h an A .2 (M oi q u an h<? th a m v a n , dieu 1<? ve

T o n t r o n g n h u t i g k h a c b i $ t cu a A C A ) tu y e n bo: C a c n ha
th am v a n se co g a n g tich ctfc de h ieu nhtfng k h a c bi£t v e nen
tan g va n h o a cu a th a n ch u - n htfng n g u d i m a h o la m vi£c. D ieu
n ay b a o g o m , n h tfn g k h o n g bi g id i h an , vi£c n h a n b ie t dtfdc stf
d on g n h a t v e v a n h o a / d an to e/ ch im g toe co an h h u d n g n h tf th e
nao d en cac g ia tri v a n iem tin cua h o ve tien trin h th a m van.
C on tro n g p h a n : K h d n g p h a n b i e t d o i x i t co ghi: C ac n ha
th am va n k h o n g th a th ir h o a c k h o n g thtfc hi£n stf p h a n b i? t doi
xtf ve tu o i tac, m a u da, v a n h oa, stf tan ta t, n h o m d an toe, gid i
tin h, c h im g to e, v a n h o a , xu h tfd n g tin h due, tin h tra n g hon
n han h a y d ia vj k in h te xa hoi.

N h tfn g n g u y e n ta c d ao dtfc cu n g ltfu y ra n g cac n h a th am

van k h o n g n en th a m gia v a o stf p h an bi£t doi xtf tr o n g vi£c th u e,
de b a t v a d ao ta o h a y doi xtf p h an b i? t v d i cac th a n ch u , sinh
vien h o a c n h tfn g n gtfdi bi g ia m sat. C im g n h tf va y, cac n g u yen
tac n h a n m a n h d en cac v a n de cua stf th a n h k ien tro n g vi£c ap
d u n g v a g ia i th ic h tra c n g h iem . C u o i cim g cac tieu ch u a n dao
dtfc n o i d en ta m q u a n tr o n g cu a stf da d an g tro n g d ao ta o v a stf
d y n g sin h v ien .
248 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- T in tu & n g v a o kha n a n g t u g id i q u y e t cu a tha n chii

M o i ngirdi d eu co q u y en lira ch o n
Thao luan truefng
v a ch iu tr a c h n h ie m ve ca c q u y e t d jn h
h<?p
cu a m in h . N h a th a m v a n lu o n y th u’c
La nha th a m v a n , ban
r i n g m o i th a n ch u co h o a n ca n h rie n g
se n o i g i v & i c a c th a n
b i? t, k h o n g l i p la i of ngirdi k h a c. Q u a
chii khi nhan th a y hq
tr in h k h a m p h a n hirn g n g u y e n n h an
co bieu h ien le t huQC
ta o n en v a n de cu a th a n ch u p h y th u o c
vaoban?
ra t n h ie u of k in h n g h ie m v a stf h ieu b iet
va n d'e cu a th a n ch ii va d u y n h a t chi co th a n chu m d i lam dtfQc
v ie c n a y. N h a th a m v a n co th e co u y tin v a g ia u k in h nghiem
cu n g k h o n g du k h a n i n g g ia i q u y e t d iroc va n d'e ciia th a n chii.
M ^t k h a c , th a n ch ii can d irge tra o q u y e n t y q u y e t de d am bao
s y tr u d n g th a n h v a d o c lap .

Q u a n d ie m c u a C. R o g e rs ch o r i n g th a n ch u la ch u y e n gia
g io i n h a t v'e lin h v y c cu a h o . V i v a y , th a n ch ii co k h a n in g cao
n h a t tr o n g v ie c d y a ra ca c q u y e t d in h ciia m in h . P h a m ch at tin
tu d n g v a o k h a n a n g g ia i q u y e t v a n d'e cu a th a n ch ii th e hien 0
v ie c n h a th a m v a n d at ra n hirn g cau h o i v'e ca m n g h i ciia than
ch u tr o n g v ie c g ia i q u y e t v a n d'e. C a ch h o i n a y da d at th a n chii
v a o m o t h o a n c a n h c y th e v a th a n ch u p h a i t y la p tr o n g cach
h a n h d o n g g ia i q u y e t v a n d'e. T h a i do tin tu d n g ciia n h a tham
v a n se g iu p th a n ch ii n h a n ra g ia tri rie n g cu a b a n th a n , de roi
th a n ch u b i t d'au g a n h la y to a n b o tra c h n h ie m ly a ch o n viec
to n ta i v a p h a t tr ie n ciia m in h . N h irn g s y ly a ch o n d o se trd nen
tu o n g h o p v d i ti'em n a n g t h y c s y cu a c h in h th a n chii.

V e n g u y e n t i c , n h a th a m v a n k h o n g d y a ra ld i k h u yen
m a n g tin h ap d a t d o i v d i th a n ch ii, tu y n h ie n n eu th a n chii bj
ro i lo a n ta m th a n , s u y n h tfd c th a n k in h , k h o n g la m ch ii dtfdc
h a n h v i ciia m in h h o a c co xu h tfd n g h u y h o a i b a n th a n hay
n g tfd i k h a c ... th i n h a th a m v a n va n co th e ch ii d o n g dtfa ra
m o t v a i h tfd n g d e g ia i q u y e t ciin g v d i th a n ch ii. C u n g ca n ltfu y
m g t so th a n ch ii k h i d en th a m va n h o co xu h tfd n g le th u o c
C H l f O N G 5: Da o dufc trong th am van tam li 249

v a o n h a th a m v a n , m o n g d g i n h a th a m va n k h u y e n b a o di'eu
ca n la m . H q thu'c s u tin tu d n g va o k h a n a n g g ia i q u v e t v a n de
cu a n h a th a m v a n . N eu hQ k h o n g n h a n d irge n h u n g d ie u m o n g
dQi co th e h o se k h o n g tr d la i lan sau. V i v a y k i n a n g ch o lefi
k h u y e n v a k i n a n g tro c h u y e n la m g ia m s u le th u g c cu a th a n
ch u v a o n h a th a m va n la h e t sure can th ie t d oi v d i n h u n g
tr u d n g hQp n a y.

- N h a th a m v a n k h d n g g a n m in h vao m o i q u a n h e cd n han
v&i th a n chu

Q u a n h e th a m v a n la q u a n h e Thao luan truofng hgrp

n gh e n g h ie p , v i v a y n h a th a m v a n Theo ban, khi cac giao
can tr a n h mQi q u a n h e n g o a i h g p vien day tham van &
d o n g la m v ie c vcri th a n ch u , tr a n h trirdng dai hoc nhan
d ua ca c q u a n h e x a hQi (q u a n h e khach hang la sinh vien
anh em , d o n g n g h ie p , b a n b e) va o ciia minh thi co vi pham
q u an he th a m van. T ro n g T ieu tieu chuan dao dire nghe
ch u a n dao d ire, phan Quan h$ nghiep khdng? H ay li gidi
tha m v a n B .12 . co g h i: K h i n h a vi sao cd? Vi sao khdng?

th a m v a n co m o i q u a n h e k h a c vcri
th an ch u - du la q u a n h e h a n h c h in h , tr e n d u d i th i n h a th a m
v a n v a n p h a i d a m b a o tin h k h a c h q u a n d o i v d i s u lu a chQn
th a m v a n c u a th a n c h u ... Q u a n h e h a i c h ie u (b a n b e , h o
h a n g ...) v d i th a n ch u cd th e la m a n h h u d n g d en tin h k h a c h
q u a n c u a n h a th a m v a n k h i thu'c h ie n h a n h v i th a m v a n . V i
v^y, n h a th a m v a n p h a i tr a n h h o a c k e t th u c q u a n h e th a m v a n
n a y b a n g c a c h g id i th ie u th a n ch u d en n h a th a m v a n cd k h a
n a n g p h ii h g p .

K h i g a p k h o k h a n tr o n g v ie c g iu p d d, n h a th a m v a n p h a i cd
tr a c h n h ie m ca n h b a o ch o n h u n g n g u d i cd lie n q u a n h o a c th a m
k h a o v k ie n cu a n g u d i g ia m sat v a d o n g n g h ie p . ^Th a th a m v a n
ca n th u d n g x u y e n ch u v d en v a n de lu a t p h a p , q u y e n co n g d an
v a q u v e n co n n g u d i ciia th a n chu.
250 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

V a n d'e la m d u n g v a q u a y roi tin h d y e th a n ch u v a nhirng

n gtfd i k h a c dUQc d'e ca p v a ch u y m p t ca c h d a c b ie t d ca trong
n g u y e n ta c d ao du’c cu a H iep h o i
Tham van H o a Ki v a H iep hpi
T a m li h o c H o a K y. N h a th a m va n
n ao th a m g ia h a y lie n q u a n den
la m d u n g v a q u a y roi tin h due,
h o a c b o q u a nhirn g h a n h d o n g
n a y cu a n h irn g ngUcfi k h a c d eu la
n hirn g ngUcfi vi p h a m d ao du’c
ngh'e n g h ie p . N h a th a m v a n cu n g
d u g c ca n h b a o r a n g n hirn g m oi
q u a n h e co d i co la i gitfa n h a
th a m v a n v a th a n ch u m a co th e
d a n d en stf x u n g d o t v'e lg i ich th i
p h a i tra n h .
Thao luan trtfcmg hqfp
Ban se quyet djnh nhu" the
nao khi khach hang ciia ban
co nhitng bieu hien sap gap
nguy hiem va cdn co the gay
hai cho nhitng ngitcfi khac
nita? Ban danh gia mite d<)
nguy hiem ciia khach hang
bang cach nao? Khi nao thi
ban se tim kiem sit tham van
tit nhitng dong nghiep ciia
minh? (Corey)

- B ao v e p h iic la i cua than chu

N h a th a m van phai lu on dtf doan trtfdc dtfQc nhtfng tac dong

cua qua trin h th am va n len than chu va nhirng ngUcfi co lien quan
khac, vi h o vira co the la ngUcfi htfdng lQi h o ac la nan nhan ciia dich
vu th am van. Bao ve p h u c lQi cho than chu co lien quan den mure thu
phi. Mire th u phi phai dtfQc xem xet theo lQi ich tot nhat ciia than
chu v a n h a th am va n co trach nhiem tim ra dUQc nhtfng dich vu
th am van p h u hQp cho th an chu. Khi nhan th a y qua trinh tham van
kh o n g d em lai h ieu qua cho than chu, nha th am van bat b uoc phai
co stf gidi th ieu den nhtfng n oi cd giup dd hieu qua hon.

N h tfn g q u y en lQi co b a n ciia th a n ch u can p h a i dtfQc tinh den

doi v d i mQt d ich vu th a m va n la: cd q u yen b ie t v'e d an h tinh, bang
cap ch u y en m on , k in h n g h iem lam v ie c cua n ha th a m van va dtfQc
Itfa chQn ngtfdi trQ g iu p cho m in h ; dtfQc q u yen b iet v'e tien trinh
v a cach thirc tiep can d oi v d i v a n d'e cu a th a n chu; dtfQc n ha tham
van th o n g b a o v'e nhtfng h an ch e va n g u y cO cd th e x a y ra trong
q u a trin h th a m van ; cd q u yen dtfQc b iet v'e v ie c lutf trtf th o n g tin,
gh i am h a y stf d am b a o v'e bi m at v'e th o n g tin kh i ch ia se vd i nha
th a m va n va h o cd q u y en dtfQc th o n g bao trtfd c tro n g trtfd n g hQp
( H U O N G 5: Oa o dufc trong th am van tam If 251

th o n g tin v e ho b u o c phai ch ia se vcri nhtfng doi tUQng k h a c va

th an chu co q u yen tiep tu c h ay tir choi djch vu th a m van .

I I I . G I & I T H I E• U C A C T I E U C H U A N D A• O D t f C T R O N G
NGANH TH AM VAN

X em xet c£c q u y di'eu dao dire n ghe trQ g iu p cu a cac nirdc

tren th e gid i, n h u A n h , P hap va M y, ch u n g tdi th a y d iem ch u n g
nhat cua v ie c x a y dtfng cac q u y dieu dao dtfc la to n trQng va b ao
ve q u yen con n gu di. V i dii D ao li H an h nghe T a m li cu a P hap g'om
ba p h an ldn: N htfn g n gu yen t&c chung, C on g v ie c va h a n h ngh'e,
Q ua trin h d ao tao cu a n h a tam li. T ro n g do d'e cap den stf ton
trQng q u yen con n g u d i, tin h tru n g thtfc, tin h d o c lap , trin h do kh a
nang, trach n h iem , to n trQng m u c dich, p h am ch at k h o a hoc. D oi
vd i co n g v ie c v a stf h a n h n ghe, cac q u y di'eu dao dtfc y e u cau nha
tam li h o c ch i dUQc h o a t d on g tro n g lin h vtfc lien q u an den n gh iep
v\i dUQc d ao tao; tra n h lQi dtfng cUOng v i ca n h an de tru e lQi ca
nhan; to n tro n g d o n g n g h iep tren cQ sd d ao dtfc ngh'e nghiep;
kh on g dUQc can h tra n h th ieu lan h m an h vd i d on g n g h iep va yeu
cau ho g iu p d d n eu th a y ho cd kh a n an g h o n m in h ; k h d n g tao
dtfng m oi q u a n h e n g h e n g h iep vd i cac th a n chu la n g u d i quen ...
Q u y che d ao li h a n h n g h e tam li q u y d in h chi nhtfng n g u d i cd
chtfc d an h n h a ta m li m d i dUQc d am n h iem h o a t dQng d ao tao.
Cac n g u yen ta c d ao dtfc ciia H iep h oi T h a m va n - T ri lieu A n h tap
trun g vao b o n m u c ld n nhu: D ao dtfc h a n h n gh e, h u d n g dan thtfc
hanh tot, trien k h a i n g h e n g h iep v a d u o n g dau v d i k ie n tu n g.

Q u y d jn h ve d ao dtfc n gh e n g h iep cu a H iep h o i T h a m van

Tam li H oa Ki duQc trin h b a y k h a ki, no b ao g o m 8 p h a n , dUQc
xay dtfng n am 196 1, da dUQc stfa doi n h ieu lan . C ac p h a n ch in h
lien q u a n td i b a n th a n n ha th a m van , m oi q u an h e gitfa n h a th a m
van v a th a n chtf, v d i d on g n gh iep , v d i co n g ch im g, v d i cac h o a t
dQng d ao tao , n g h ien ctfu, xu at ban , lUQng gia v a h u d n g dan giai
q u vet cac v a n d'e vi p h a m dao dtfc (tro n g do b a p h an A , B va C la
q u an trQng n h at).

- P h a n A: M oi q u an h e th am van

- P h an B: T in h b i m at, th o n g b ao m at, v a stf rien g ttf

252 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- P han C: T ra ch n h iem ngh'e n ghiep

- P han D: M oi q u an he vcri nhu n g ngh'e n g h iep k h ac

- P h an E: LtfQng gia, do ltfdn g, va giai th ich

- P h an F: G ia n g day, dao tao va giam sat

- P han G: N g h ien cutf va xu at ban

- P han H: G iai q u yet n h u n g van de d$o du'c v a n gu yen tac

h oat d g n g n gh e n gh iep .

T ro n g k h u o n kh o cu a chtfOng nay, ch u n g toi xin tom tat mQt

so p h an ch in h cua b an Q u y d jn h ve dao du'c n gh e n gh iep cua
H iep hoi T h a m van T a m li H oa Ky.

l. Ve m oi qu an he tham van

Phan nay bao gom m ot so m uc lien quan den trach nhiem cua
nha th am van va quyen cua than chu. Doi vcfi nha th am van, nhtfng
yeu cau nhu: ton trong pham gia va th uc day quyen lQi cua than chu,
ton tron g stf k h ac b iet va tinh da dang ciia than chii; kh ong dtfQc
th am van cho ngtfdi quen biet; kh d n g dtfQc quan he tinh cam , tinh
due vd i than chii? N h a tham van y thu'c dtfQc nhu cau va gia tri ban
than de kh dn g ap dat len than chii va kh dn g duQc bo rcri than chu
khi dan g tron g qua trinh th am van. T ron g trtfdng h d p nha tham van
nh£n th ay m inh kh dn g dii kh a nang giup dd than chii thi phai gidi
thieu ho tdi nha th am van kh ac cd kh a nang giup dd ho va can
chuan bi tinh th an cho than chii khi cd stf th ay doi nay. N goai ra,
nha th am van kh o n g dtfQc cd nhtfng han h \i phan biet doi xir vdi
than chii do stf k h a c b iet v e ch im g tQC, m au da, van hoa, nhom dan
toe, stf o'm yeu tan tat, gidi tinh, ton giao, dinh htfdng tinh due. tinh
trang hon nhan, vi the kinh t e xa hoi.

De tran h k h d n g g a y anh htfdng tdi m di quan he th am van do

stf kh ac b iet van hoa, nha th am van phai chii don g ttf n an g cao stf
hieu b iet v e cac nen van hoa kh ac nhau, nhat la nhtfng yeu to van
hoa da anh htfdng tdi gia tri ca nhan ciia th an chii. N h a th am van
can tran h kh d n g th am va n cho ngtfdi quen, ngtfdi than cua cac
dong n ghiep. V e van de "tinh cam than m at", nha th am van khong
C H l/ O N G 5: Dao du'c trong ttiam van ta m If 253

dtfdc co m oi q u an he tin h cam yeu dtfOng h ay quan he tinh due vdi

than chu it n h at tron g kh oan g th di gian 2 nam ke tir khi ket thuc
m oi q u an h e th am van. N ha tham van kh on g dirge p hep sir d un g vi
tri ciia m inh de ap d£t hay ep budc than chii tron g b at cir viec gi,
dac b iet la stf ltfi d y n g tien bac tir than chii th on g qua viec nhan
qua, b ieu qua h a y keo dai thdi gian tham van de thu phi.

D oi v d i q u y e n ciia th an ch ii, th a n ch u d tfdc q u y en b iet ve

tien trin h v a cach thirc ap d y n g cu a n h a th a m va n tro n g q ua
trin h th a m van ; T h a n ch ii cd q u yen dtfdc gitf bi m at ve th o n g tin
ho ch ia se v d i n h a th a m vain, va h o co q u y en d tfdc th o n g b ao
trtfdc k h i n h a th a m v a n b u o c p h ai ch ia se th o n g tin v d i m ot ddi
ttfd n g k h a c. T h a n ch ii cd q u yen b ie t nhtfng th o n g tin ve nha
th am va n , n h tf b a n g cap , ch u y en m on sau cu a n h a th a m va n va
cd q u y en Itfa ch o n h a y ch am dirt m oi q u an h e th a m va n . T h an
chu cd q u y en b ie t ve n h tfn g h an ch e v a n g u y cO cd th e x a y ra
tro n g q u a tr in h th a m va n . T h a n ch ii cd q u yen d tfd c b ie t v e qua
trin h ltfu trtf th o n g tin tr o n g th a m van . D di v d i v a n de le phi,
th an chii p h ai d tfd c th o n g b ao v e le phi th a m v a n v a nhtfng th o a
th u an k h a c lie n q u a n td i le p hi th a m v a n .v .v ...

2. Tinh bi m at, s it thon g bao m at va sit rien g tit

D e b ao v e q u y e n rien g ttf ciia

th an ch u, n h a th a m v a n can to n tro n g Thao luan tinh huong
q u yen dtfOc g itf bi m a t th o n g tin ciia Nhd tham van co du'Q'c
th an ch ii. T r a c h n h ie m d au tien ciia sit dung nhirng dit lieu
nha th a m va n la to n tro n g tin h bi m at thu dwac tir cdc cuoc
rien g ttf v e th o n g tin cu a k h a ch h an g. tham van de giiip sinh
N h a th a m v a n ch i d tfd c lo th o n g tin vien nang cao kien thu'c,
ciia th a n ch ii k h i th a n ch ii cho p h ep ki nang thuc te khdng?
h o a c k h i k h a c h h a n g cd n g u y ca g a y Hay U gidi quan diem
to n h a i td i b an th a n h o a c ngtfdi kh ac, ciia ban.
h a y k h i to a an y e u cau tiet lo th o n g
tin th i n h a th a m v a n cd th e tiet lo th o n g tin ciia k h a ch h a n g . T u y
n h ie n trtfd c k h i th o n g b ao lam lo van de ciia th a n ch u . n h a th a m
254 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

va n n en th a m k h a o y k ien cu a cac n h a ch u y e n m o n k h a c v'e mufc

do tie t lo v a th o n g b a o ch o k h a ch h a n g tr u d c k h i h a n h d on g.

D oi vcri v i? c lUu tru* th o n g tin , n h a th a m v a n can liru trtf lai

n hirn g th o n g tin g h i ch ep ve k h a ch h a n g n h a m p h y c v y cho myc
d ich th a m v a n , cu n g n h u tro n g trtfd n g h o p co s y d oi h oi ciia toa
an, v a th e o n h im g q u y d in h cu a cO sd la m v iec. N h irn g th o n g tin
m a n h a th a m v a n g h i ch ep , ghi am , q u a y h in h , in an, liru tru:
dtfdi b a t cu1h in h th u ’c n ao cu n g can p h a i d irge b a o m at. V i ly i ich
cu a k h a c h h a n g v a tra ch n h iem b a o m at, n h a th a m va n phai
n h a n th ifc d u o c v a i tro q u a n tro n g cu a v ie c b a o v e th o n g tin cua
th a n ch u . D a c b ie t k h i n h a th a m v a n sir d y n g th o n g tin cua than
ch u v a o ca c m y c d ich v ie t sach , d ao ta o , n g h ien ciru p h ai dtfgfc
s y ch o p h e p cu a th a n chu.

3. Trach n h iem n g h e n g h iep

N h a th a m v a n co tra c h n h iem p h a i d oc, h ieu , v a tu an thu

d ao du’c ngh'e n g h ie p v a chi d irge h a n h n g h e tro n g gid i han
ch u y e n m o n ciia m in h . N h a th a m v a n p h a i lie n ty c g ia m sat tinh
h ieu q u a co n g viec; to n tro n g cach tie p ca n tr o n g th a m van cua
d o n g n g h ie p v a k h o n g co s y p h a n b ie t d oi xir.

V e c h u y e n m o n , n h a th a m v a n ch i d y g c h a n h ngh'e phu hyp

vcri c h u y e n m o n dtfOc d ao ta o co ca p b a n g , c h im g ch i hanh
ngh'e. N h a th a m v a n p h a i ch iu tr a c h n h ie m v'e ca c li th u yet, ki
n a n g m in h da ap d u n g tr o n g q u a tr in h la m v ie c v d i khach
h a n g . T r o n g v a i tro la ngtfefi q u a n ly, n h a th a m v a n ch i dirge
p h e p tu y e n ch o n n h tfn g n h a n v ie n co du n a n g ltfc v a la ngtfdi
d a dtfOc ca p b a n g , c h im g n h a n h a n h ngh'e. N h a th a m va n biet
d im g c o n g v ie c k h i n h a n th a y co stf s u y g ia m n a n g ltfc la m vi<jc
h o a c sire k h o e , la m a n h h tfd n g d en k e t q u a th a m v a n ch o khach
h a n g . N h a th a m v a n ca n no ltfc tim k ie m stf g ia m sa t chuyen
m o n d m u’c do th tfd n g x u y e n n h a t co th e de n a n g ca o h ieu qua
th a m v a n cu a m in h v a cd y thirc n a n g cao n a n g ltfc c h u y e n mon
ciia m in h . T r o n g k h u o n k h o ttf y th u ’c ve b a n th a n , n h a tham
v a n ca n ttf k ie m s o a t n h tfn g g ia tri, n h im g ca m x u c ca n h a n de
 C H lT O N G 5: Oa o dure trong th am van tam If | 255

tra n h g a y a n h h tfd n g x a u tcri k h a ch h a n g tr o n g ca c thcfi d iem

can th ie t. D o i vcri d o n g n g h iep , n h a th a m va n to n tr o n g stf da
d a n g tr o n g ca c h tie p can li th u y e t va th tfc h a n h cu a ca c d o n g
n g h ie p v a k h o n g b in h lu a n m ot cach ch u q u a n v e ca c d jch vu
th a m v a n k h a c . N h a th a m va n can n h a n th tfc ro ta m q u a n tro n g
cu a n h tfn g h o tr o ttf d o n g n g h ie p v a san sa n g g iu p d o h o kh i
can th ie t. D oi vcri stf mcr ro n g m oi q u a n h e ngh'e n g h ie p , n h a
th a m v a n ca n tic h ctfc th a m g ia va o ca c h ie p h o i n g h e n g h ie p
g iu p ch o v ie c p h a t tr ie n v a ta n g ctfd n g ch at ltfO ng d ich v y th a m
van . D oi v d i v ie c q u a n g cao, n h a th a m v a n ch i dU dc p h e p
q u a n g ca o n h tfn g th o n g tin tr u n g th tfc v e b a n th a n v a d jch v y
cu a m in h n h u d a n h tin h , b a n g cap , ch tfn g ch i c h u y e n m on ,
k in h n g h ie m m a k h o n g dtftfc q u a n g cao m a n g tin h htfa h e n m ot
stf th a n h co n g cu a d ich vu v d i k h a ch h a n g .

4. Cac tinh huon g vi p h a m dao du’c trong thitc hanh

tham van

M o t n g h ie n ctfu d tfdc tien

Thao luan tinh huong
han h bdi N e u k ru g , H e a ly va
H e rlih y (19 9 2 ) d a p h a t h ie n ra Trong qua trinh tham van ban
rang ttf k h i b a t d au v ie c cap p h ep cam thay nhung van de ma
(19 76 ) tai ca c b a n g d M y da co than chu dat ra co nguy ccf vi
749 d o n k ie n c h o n g la i cac nha pham vao cdc tieu chuan dao
th am v a n d tfd c ca p p h e p . K et qua dUc nghe nghiep. Vay:
la cd 3 9 4 cu o c d ie u tra v a 290 v y - Ban phai lam gi de giup than
to ttfng d a dtfOc tie n h a n h de kien
chu dat dUg’c tot nhat muc tieu
cac n h a th a m v a n d o. C ac vu to
tham van cua ho va tranh cho
ty n g cd nhi'eu m tfc do: ttf k h ie n
minh khdng vi pham cdc quy
trach , d en p h a t tie n , d en d in h chi
dieu dao du'c?
hoac th u h oi g ia y p h ep h an h
ngh'e. T r o n g 749 d o n k ie n cd: - Hay liet ke nhung tinh
huong, nhUng van de cd nguy
- 27% k ie n v e v ie c h a n h n gh e
co' vi pham dao dUc nghe
k h d n g cd g ia y p h e p h o a c cac
nghiep ciia nhd tham van.
h a n h d o n g x u y e n ta c g ia y u y
n h ie m k h a c
256 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- 20% kign v'e v ie c co q u an he tin h d y e vcfi th a n ch u

- 12% k ie n d in h g ia th u lao k h o n g th ic h d a n g nhu" gian lan

b ao h ie m h o 5 c tin h h o a defn h ai lan

- 7% co q u a n he ta y doi k h o n g th ich h o p nhir coi nha trj lieu

nhir ngirdi la m co n g h o a c b an be

- 7% k h o n g th o n g b ao cho th an chu v'e n gu yen tac cua moi

q u an h e th a m van

- 5% n h a th a m va n k h o n g giir bi m at

- 4% k h o n g b ao cao v'e sir lam d y n g

- 2% k h o n g th o n g b ao v'e nhirng h o a t d on g g a y hai ti'em an

ciia th a n chii (k h o n g canh bao)

- 2% nhirng th o n g tin v'e s y tao di'eu kien k h o n g d im g cho

n h om th a m van

- 1 5 % d o n k ien v'e cac van d'e kh ac.

T ren th e gid i, cac tin h h u o n g vi p h am d ao dire tro n g thyc

h a n h th a m van th ird n g lien quan den viec nha th am van hanh
ngh'e k h d n g cd g ia y p h ep , h o a c lo la v ie c th y c h a n h ngh'e, dinh gia
th u lao k h d n g th ich dan g, gian lan b ao h iem , co q u an he tinh dye
vd i th an chu h o a c q u an he n h u b an be, k h d n g th o n g b ao cho than
chii v'e n g u yen ta c h a y th o a th u an tro n g m oi q u an he th am van, 1q
bi m at ciia th a n chii, k h d n g can th an tro n g viec giir va b ao ve cac
b an g ghi am , bi n g h i n g d lam d u n g tre em , k h d n g b ao cao ve viec
th an chii bi la m d u n g, k h d n g can h b ao cho th an chii ve nhirng
n g u y cO, n g u y h iem , tu tir, cai ch et n h an dao, xam p h am quyen
cua cha m e tro n g th a m van h oc d u d n g...

R o b in so n v a G ro ss (19 8 5) cho rang n h u n g h an h vi kh o n g co

tin h d ao dire ciia n ha th a m van th u d n g xu at p h at tu nhu cau ca
n h an ciia ho. N d d u o c th e hien d n h u n g kh ia canh sau:

• N ha th am van don g vai trd la ngudi ra quyet dinh hern la

tron g vai tro ciia n gudi th uc day nhirng ki nan g cho th an chii
C H L fO N G 5: Da o dufc trong th am van tam li 257

• K hai th a c nhirng th ien y cua th an chu

• K eo dai th d i gian th a m va n cho th an chu n hir la cach thu'c

de d u y tri th u nhap

• T h a t b ai tro n g v ie c n h an ra diTtfc nhirng g id i h a n d an g ton

ta i tr o n g ch in h b an th an m in h

• K h d n g dira ra q u a n d iem cu a m in h v e n hirng h a n h vi

k h d n g cd d ao du’c h a y b a t h d p p h ap cu a th a n ch u

• K h d n g s§ n lo n g , k h d n g n h iet tin h de th u c d a y q u a trin h

th a m van

• K h d n g d u y tri tin h k h a ch q u a n v a b j ldi k e o v a o va n de

m a n g tin h ch in h trj tro n g cau ch u y en cu a th a n chu

• A p d a t g ia trj cu a m in h ch o th a n chu

• K h d n g th o n g b a o ch in h xac k e t q u a cu a q u a tr in h th a m
v a n ch o th a n ch u

• K h d n g to n tr o n g ca c n h a th a m v a n k h d n g cu n g ch u y en
n g a n h v d i m in h

• K h d n g ch ap n h a n stf d an h g ia th a m v a n (d a n h g ia cu a
ngirdi g ia m sat).

Phan tich tinh huong nhay cam dao dub trong tham van
Chi H, 24 tuoi, lap gia dinh khi con la sinh vien nam thtf II. Chj
noi rang: "Chung tdi phai ctf&i nhau, luc do tdi khong dam nao
thai vi tru’&c do 5 thang toi da nao thai mot lan. Chau gdi toi
nam nay 2 tuoi. Sau 1 nam nghi hoc de trong con, hien nay toi
chuan bi hoc nam thit III. Chong tdi cung la sinh vien nam thit
IV. A nh ay chi cdn mot nam nita la ra trtf&ng, hy vong v&i
nghe cong an, anh dy cd the chu cap kinh ph i cho tdi tiep tuc
hoc. Tien nong ddi v&i chimg tdi hien nay rat eo hep. Tuan vita
rdi tdi m&i di kham site khoe vd dtfefe biet minh lai cd thai. Tdi
bdrig hoang vi dd la dieu tdi khdng mong ch&. Chong tdi de' tdi
quyet dirih chuyen nay. Tdi cam thay minh gay xop han di.
Theo chj, tdi nen sinh con hay bo thai di de d itoc tiep tuc di
hoc?".
258 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

Cau hoi thao luan:

1. Tinh huong nhay cam ve dao du'c d day la gi?
2. Ban se trien khai cong vi§c cua minh nhu the nao vdi trudng
hop cua chi H?

T r o n g th tfc te k h d n g p h ai lu c nao ca c n h a th a m va n cu n g xac

d in h d u p e m p t ca c h ro ra n g ra n h g id i gitfa cai goi la d ao dtfc va
phi d ao dtfc. V i v a y , de g iu p cac n h a th y c h a n h th a m va n dtfOng
d au v d i n h tfn g tin h th e k h o xtf ve m£t d go dtfc, ca c ch u yen gia
th a m v a n d a n g h ie n ctfu nhi'eu m d h in h ra q u y e t d in h khi nha
th a m v a n r o i v a o tin h h u o n g n h a y cam n ay.

V i d y , m o t th a n ch u yeu cau n h a th a m v a n g iu p de cd dtfdc

m o t cai ch e t th a n h th d i. C a c q u y di'eu d$o dtfc v'e va n d'e nay bj
doi ch o i n h a u . Q u y di'eu v'e b a o ve th a n ch u k h d i b j ngtfdi khac
la m h ai h o a c th a n ch u ttf la m h ai b a t b u o c n h a th a m van phai
n g a n ch an v a th o n g b a o v d i n h a chtfc tra c h v'e v a n d'e nay.
N h tfn g n g u y e n ta c to n tr o n g q u y en ttf q u y et cu a th a n chu; hay
th a n chtf ch iu tra c h n h iem v'e h a n h vi ctfa m in h lai m ach bao
n h a th a m v a n g iu p th a n chtf d tfd c ch e t n h e n h a n g . D a y la mpt
tin h h u o n g d ao dtfc n h a y cam m a n h a th a m v a n p h a i can n M c
can tron g!

M d h in h g ia i q u y et v a n d'e la cO sd ch o ca c n h a th a m van xem

xet m o t cach th a u d ao nhtfng k h ia can h x u n g q u a n h viec giup
th a n chtf di d en m o t q u y et d in h h o p H v a tra n h ch o n ha th am van
kh d i bi k ie n tu n g trtfd c toa. V i du, M d h in h giai q u v et tin h huong
k h o xtf v'e d ao dtfc do C o rey, C o re y v a C a lla n a n (19 9 7) xay dtfng
ltfu y cac n h a th a m va n x em xet ca c ye u to sau:
- X a c d in h ro va n d'e cu a th a n chu
- X a c d in h n h tfn g va n d'e ti'em n a n g lien q u an cd th e x a y ra

- C an n h a c n h tfn g n g u ye n t i c d ao dtfc th ich h d p

- T h a m k h a o y k ien d o n g n g h iep , ngtfdi g iam sat
- C an n h a c tien trin h h a n h d on g cd the thtfc h ien va cd kha
n an g x a y ra
- L iet ke n h tfn g h au qua cu a nhtfng q u yet d in h k h a c n h au
C H U O N G 5: Dao du'c trong th a m van tam li 259

- Q u ye t d jn h each giai q u yet tot nhat.

D e tra n h b j rac roi v d i phap lu£t, cac ta c gia da can h b ao cho

cac ch u y en g ia h a n h n gh e th am van can n h ac m pt so va n de sau:
• C o sy" xac d jn h ro ran g ve th u lao
• G iir g in can th£n cac tai lieu ghi am
• B ao ve n h im g bi m at th ich dan g
• T ra n h sy* tim to i cu a sin h vien
• T ra n h n htfng m oi q u an h e ta y doi, d$c b ie t la co q u an he
tin h d y e v 6 i th a n chu
• T h a m k h a o ca c d o n g n g h iep khi can
• B at cu" kh i n ao co th e, h a y de nghi stf ch o p h ep cu a th an
chtf de th a m k h a o y k ie n cua ngtfofi k h a c
• Stf d y n g nhtfng thtf ty c tren ccf sd th o a thu£n co h ieu b iet
gitfa hai b en
• C ap nh£t n htfng tie p c&n m an g tin h li th u yet
• B iet cach d an h gia th a n chu, nhtfng ngtfefi la m oi n g u y
h iem cu a ch in h h o v a nhtfng ngtfdi k h a c
• D u y tri n a n g ltfc n gh e n gh iep
• C o n htfn g ke h o a ch dieu tri ro ran g v a co tai lieu th am
k h a o to t
• B ao cao n htfn g n gh i ngcf ve stf lam d y n g k h i bi lu a t p h ap
yeu cau
• K h o n g b o p m eo ca c d ich v y
• K h o n g b o r o i th a n chtf (vi d y tran h nhtfng thefi gia n v a n g
m at lau )
• C h i d a n t h a n c h u d e n m Q t c h u y e n g i a / t o c h tf c k h a c v a
t h u y e n c h u y e n t h a n ch tf m Q t c a c h k h o n n g o a n

• N h£ n thtfc ro nhtfng van de p h ap lu£t tiem an k h i b an lu an

v e v ie c k iem soat nao p h a th ai v a sin h de
• T on trQ ng t h a n ch u
• T ra n h n htfn g m oi q u an h e co dQng ccf v d i th a n chu
• D u y tri stf b a o h iem so su at h an h nghe.
260 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

Doc va suy ngam

Van die nhay cam trong dao du’c nghe nghiep
lien quan den nhiem vu canh bao
Trudng hcfp nay lien quan den mot than chu ten la Prosenjit
Poddar, n g u d i tUng d u g c biet & trung tam tham van thuoc Dai
hoc California, Berkeley. Ong Poddar da noi v&i nha tam li cua
ong ta rdng gan day ban gai cua ong ta de doa se cat dUt quan
he v&i ong ta va hen hd v&i nhung ngU&i dan ong khac nen ong
ay se giet cd ta. Nhd tam li cua ong ta sau mot hoi cdn nhac dd
thong bao dieu nay v&i ngU&i giam sat ciia minh va v&i s& canh
sat ve l&i de doa ciia than chii. Vd the la canh sat da bat ong
Poddar. Do khdng tim d u g c li do de giam g iu ong Poddar, s&
canh sat dd tha ong ve. N gu& i giam sat da khien trach nhd tam li
hoc vi loi vi pham nguyen tac g iu bi mat. Cdn trung tam tham
van cung bj mat uy tin v&i khach hang. H ai thang sau, than chii -
ong Poddar giet chet ban gdi ciia minh. Bo'm e ciia cd gdi dd kien
trU&ng dai hoc, nhd tam li, ngu&i giam sat vd canh sat vd ho dd
thang kien tat cd, trU canh sat.
S u kien nay d u g c xem n hu la m ot tam gucfng cho “nhiem vu
canh ba o” ciia nhd tam li, nd ddi hoi ngu&i lam cong tac trg giiip
phai het sUc co' gang ngan chan nhung nguy hiem cho ngu&i
khac hoac cho chinh than chii.
E. Neukrug, The'gi&i nhd tham van, 1999, trang 170.

MQt so tin h h u o n g lien q u a n d en n g u ye n ta c d ao du'c nghe

th a m van m a b a i tap sau d a y 1 se g iu p ngifc/i h o c xac d in h ro cac
k h ia ca n h k h a c n h a u tro n g q u an n iem ca n h a n ve n g u yen t i c dao
du'c n g h e th a m va n . T ro n g m oi cau neu b an ch o la "h an h vi dao
du’c" th i d an h so 1; n eu la "h an h vi p hi dao du'c" th i d an h so 2.

1. K h d n g cho tha n chu b iet m u c dich cu a lam tra c n ghiem

2. G a p tha n chu ciia d o n g n g h iep m a khd n g tham khao y

kien cu a d o n g n g h iep

1 Tom luVc theo ED. N ew krug, The gi&i cua nha tham van, Sach da dan.
CHLTONG 5: Oa o dure trong th am van tam If | 261

3. D u n g nguyen tac dao du’c de than phien chong lai dong

nghiep

4. S it dung cd c dich vu gidi thich trac nghiem da d iftic vi tinh

hod

5. C hu d o n g hen hd tinh cam v&i than chu

6. T an g m o t m on qua tri gid it n h a t 5 0 $ cho than chu

7. Thay ddi viec chan doan de tu'o’ng itng v&i tieu chuan bao
hiem

8. Cd q u a n h e tinh d u e v&i n g it& i bf g ia m s a t nhd tham van

9. H ctp ta c k in h d o a n h v& i than chu

10. P h a v& s it b i m a t neu than chu g ie t n gtf& i

11. Cd q u a n h e tinh d u e v&i than chu

12. S it d u n g s it b o c lo ban than n h it m o t k i th u a t tha m van

13. L a m v ie c k h i q u a k ie t s ite den n oi khd n g the cd h ieu qua

14. T hon g bao ch in h x a c cho than chii b ie t ve n h itn g k i th u a t

tham va n ciia ban

15. C ho p h e p than chii c&i bo qua n do d d i

16. T hao lu a n v& i d o n g n g h iep ve than chii ba n g ten long

17. P ha v& b i m a t neu than chii tit tit

18. C u n g ca p n h itn g d ich vu n g o a i linh v itc tham q u y en

19. V ay m itcfn ciia than chii

20. T h a m van tro n g kh i d an g bj an h h it& n g b&i ritcfu

21. P h a v& b i m a t d e thon g bao ve s it n g itd c d a i tre em

22. C & i q u a n do trit& c m a t than chii

23. G h i dm m d khd n g cd s it dong y ciia than chii

24. B a t tay than chii

25. Tinh p h i cho n h itn g cu o c Id hen

26. K h d n g d e l o b a n g thu lao ciia ban cho than chii b iet

262 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

27. K h o n g n o i v&i than chu gi& i han cu a v iec giu: bi m a t

2 8 .D e lo ten tha n chu tn c& c l&p hoc m a ban day.

IV. CHtTNG C H i h An h nghe THAM VAN

C ap g ia y p h ep h a n h n gh e la b ien p h ap d am b ao ch o khach
h a n g hirdn g mQt tieu ch u an giao due - dao tao toi th ieu m a ngirdi
h a n h ngh'e p h a i co de b an d ich v y cua m in h ra xa h<?i kh i ho hanh
ngh'e d o c lap . T u y n h ien , v ie c kiem soat m a n g tin h p h a p li ve viec
cap b a n g va to chirc n ao diTQc p h ep cap b a n g la rat k h ac nhau.
Nhi'eu ncri tren th e g id i - n g a y ca d H oa Ki h a y d P h ap , n gudi ta co
th e h a n h ngh'e n h u mQt “n ha th a m v a n ” h a y “n h a tri lieu tam li”
m a k h o n g can ch im g n h an h o a c b a n g cap k h o n g d at yeu cau, ho?c
lam v ie c tren cac lin h v u c m a hQ da k h o n g dUQc d ao tao chuyen
sau h a y p h u hQp.

T ra o d oi v d i ch u n g to i v'e v a n d'e Thao luan trtforng h<jrp

b a n g cap tai P h ap , n h a tam li h o c lam
Y kien cua ban nhu" the
sang, ch u y e n gia tri h ?u ta m li
nao ve viec cap chitng chi
M ich elle A lb e n ta i b<?nh vien tin h d chuyen mon cho nhung
A u ch cho ran g: "O P h ap co k h o n g it ngu&i hanh nghe tham
n g u d i tu v o n g u c cho ran g m in h la van hien nay a Viet Nam?
nha tri lieu ta m li k h i h o chi q u a mQt De d u g c cap chung chi
k h o a h o c 3 th a n g v'e m a ssa g e, h a y gQi hanh nghe tham van theo
dau th u gian . T ro n g kh i cac n h a tam ban n gu d i hanh nghe can
co nhung dieu kien nao?
li h o c la m sa n g d e co dUQc c h u t d an h
“n h a trj h e u ” h o p h a i q u a d ao tao nhi'eu n am v a thu'c h an h noi tru
tai cac ccf sd ta m th a n ”. X e t tir mQt g o c dQ n ao do, xo a b op cung la
h o a t dQng th u gian , la m th u th a i tam th an . V i v$y, hQ cu n g co the
la n g u d i la m co n g vi£c tri lieu . T u y n h ien , de trd th a n h nha tri
li?u ta m li th eo d im g n g h ia th i can p h a i h o c nhi'eu hern nua!

A n th o n y Y eo (20 0 5), nha tri li?u tam li ngudi Singapore cung

cho rang kh ai n i?m "nha th am van " va "tham van" th u d n g bi dimg
sai. T h eo ong, co du mQi h an g n gudi gQi m inh la nha th am van ma
kh on g he h ieu d ay du y n ghia va ham y ciia khai niem nay. Cach
dim g p h o b ien va la m d u n g cua khai niem "nha th am van " duQc day
m anh b d i sir gia tan g cua cac tinh nguyen vien tron g linh \-yc giup
C H U O N G 5: Dao dufc trong th a m van tam If 263

d a va xa hoi co xu htfdng goi ten nhtfng ngUcfi nhu1the la nha tham

v a n 1. T ro n g khi thu'c te stf dao tao chuyen m on cua n hu n g ngtfdi nay
la co gid i han, th^m chi kh ong diTtfc dao tao.

l. Dao tao tham van tai tmt&ng dai hqc

T ren th e gid i, v ie c d ao tao n h u n g nha tam li h o c de han h
ngh'e th a m va n la rat p h o bien. N eu nha tam li h o c m u o n co b an g
cap cu a n h a th a m van , ho se phai h o c ch u yen n g a n h th a m van
tro n g 2 n am - th a c si ch u y en n gan h th am van v a co th d i gian thtfc
t^p npi tru tai c a sd. N h u tai P hap, vigc dao tao n h a th a m va n -
tam li h u d n g n g h iep (co n seiller d ’o rien ta tio n - p sy ch o lo g u e s -
C O P) n h at th ie t p h ai co b an g tam li hoc. N h u m o h in h dao tao
cua V ie n N g h ien ctfu Q u o c gia P hap v'e K h oa h o c Lao d on g va
htfcmg n g h iep (IN E T O P ), th u o c Dai h o c C N A M P aris, trtfd c khi
thi vao h o c 2 n am v'e th a m van htfdng n gh iep , n g u d i h o c p h ai co
ban g tam li h o c toi th ie u d b a c dai hoc, p h ai co m ot n am kin h
n gh iem co n g ta c tro n g lin h vtfc n a y va dac b ie t p h ai q u a cac ki thi
de trd th a n h v ie n chtfc n ha n u d e th eo lu at p h a p cu a ntfdc nay.

6 C an ada, cu n g g io n g nhtf Bac M y, cac n h a th a m van co the

dtftfc dao tao trtfc tiep qua ch u a n g trinh dao tao ch in h q u y d b ac
dai hoc va sau dai h o c v e th am van, m a k h o n g phai lu c nao cung
phai hoc qua 4 n am rien g v e tam li hoc, n htf m ot giai doan nhap
m on tru d c kh i vao th a m van. C ac ch tfan g trin h dao tao n a y co the
chuyen m on h o a n g a y d b a c dai h o c vd i cac ten goi nhtf: “T h am
van h oc d tfd n g ”, “T h a m van htfdng n g h ie p ” ... C ac c h u a n g trin h
nay k h o n g h e phtf n h an cac ch u a n g trin h dao tao th a m va n tam li
hoc dud n g, h a y tam li h o c h oc d u d n g d u a c thtfc h ien d cac c a sd
dao tao ta m li hoc. K hi to t nghiep, n gu d i h o c d u a c cap b a n g v'e
tham van tro n g lin h vtfc dupe dao tao, n h u th a m va n h u d n g
nghiep, th a m va n gia dinh. th am van tre em ... va ho co th e lam viec
tron g cac tru n g ta m tu lieu va th on g tin d cac tru d n g p ho th on g
tru n g h o c c a sd, tro n g cac tru n g tam th on g tin v a h u d n g n gh iep d
pho th o n g tru n g hoc, h oac tai cong dong. Doi vd i cac c h u a n g trin h
th^c si dtfpc b ao tr a cu a hoi dong u v n h iem v'e th am van v a cac
ch tfan g trin h giao due co lien quan, nhtfng yeu cau cua ch tfan g

1A n t h o n y Yeo, Ban tay giup dd , Sach da dan, trang 34.

264 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

trin h g ia n g d ay b ao gom kh oa h p c ve lin h vtfc d jn h hirdn g nghe

n ghiep, cac m oi q u an h e trp giup, cong ta c n h o m , n en tan g xa hoi
va van h oa, stf p h at trien ngh'e n gh iep v a loi son g, s y danh gia,
n gh ien cutf va ltfQng gia, stf trtfdng th an h va p h at trien con ngtfdi.
C u n g n h tf va y, m oi chtfPng trin h ch uyen m on doi hoi kh oa hpc
ch u yen n g a n h tro n g k h u o n kh o lin h vtfc m a no tap trung. Trong
p h am vi h tfd n g dan lam sang, va kin h n gh iem lam vi£c gom 100
g id thtfc h a n h v a 600 g id th y c tap b at b u p c doi vd i tat ca sinh vien.

N oi v e ch tfa n g trin h dao tao th a m van tai H oa Ky, T h S . Mai

T h i V i§ t T h a n g , ngtfdi d u p e d ao tao th a m v a n tai T rtfd n g Dai hoc
T o n g h p p N e w O rlea n s, H oa Ki cho b ie t1: T rtfd c nam 20 0 1, neu
m ot ngtfdi m u o n la y b a n g th a c si thi p h ai h p c it n h at 48 tin chi
(cred its) tro n g do co td i 40 tin chi la n htfng m on h o c b at bupc,
co n lai la 8 tin ch i ttf chon. N htfng ttf sau n am 20 0 1 trd di,
ch tfa n g trin h h o c ch o n htfng ngtfdi m u o n la y b a n g th a c si da thay
doi. N gtfdi h o c p h ai la y it n h at la 60 tin chi, tro n g do co 48 tin chi
b at b u o c v a 12 tin chi ttf chon. C o k h o a n g 20 m on h o c th eo nhtfng
tin chi b a t b u o c do la: (1) k i n an g th a m v a n ccf b an , (2) li thuyet
th a m van , (3) C P sd ta m li v a p h at trie n co n n g u d i, (4) Nghien
ctfu g ia o d ye, (5) k i n a n g th a m van b a c cao, (6) Lam vi£c vdi
n h o m , (7) T h a m v a n lien va n h oa, (8) P h an tich v a ch an doan ca
n h an , (9) D ich v u ch am so c con ngtfdi (10 ) T h a m va n trtfd ng hpc,
(11) T h a m v a n h u d n g n gh iep , (12) N h tfn g va n de lien quan den
lu at, n g u y e n ta c v a d ao dtfc h a n h ngh'e, (13) T h a m van co n g dong,
(14) T h a m v a n tro n g nhtfng tru d n g h p p k h a n cap, (15) T h am van
gia d in h , (16 ) T h a m va n tre em v a vi th a n h n ien , (17) Li£u phap
tro ch p i, (18) T h tfc ta p d p t 1, (19) T htfc tap d p t 2.

T h d i g ia n h p c ta p de h o a n th a n h chUPng trin h th a c si dtfpc

keo dai tro n g th d i h a n to i da la 8 n am . N eu tro n g th d i gian 8 nam
n g u d i h p c k h o n g th e h o a n thipn ta t ca nhtfn g m on h oc th eo yeu
cau th i k e t q u a h o c ta p k h o n g dtfpc tin h va neu ngtfdi hpc muon
tiep ttfc th e o d u o i k e h o a c h h o c tap thi phai b at dfau lai. Doi vdi
nhtfng ngtfdi th eo d u o i b a n g tien si th am van thi ch tfa n g trinh
h o c co n n a n g h a n nhi'eu. N g o a i 60 tin chi b at b u p c ch o chtfang

1 ThS. Mai Thi Vi£t Thang, Chuang trinh dao tao tham van tai Tru&ng £>ai hoc
Tong hgp New Orleans, Hoa Ky, tuvantamly.com.vn, 19/06/2007.
C H U O N G 5: D a o du'c trong th a m van tam li 265

trin h th a c sy, ch tfa n g trin h bat b u p c tien si la 39 tin chi, th em 15

tin chi v e p h iron g p h ap n gh ien ciiU va 12 tin chi ve ch u yen n ganh
ttf chQn. N h tfn g ch u yen n gan h ttf chQn b ao g o m th a m va n dai hoc,
th am va n CQng d on g, th am van nhom , th am va n tre em va lira
tu oi vi th a n h n ien , th a m van lien van hoa, th a m va n trQ giu p tai
hoa n h ap v a p h y c h oi chtfc nang... Sau khi h oan th an h ki h o c dau
tien, nhtfn g giao sU tro n g kh oa se quan sat, p h o n g van , va dien
vao B an g d an h gia n htfn g dac diem lien n h an cach ciia ca nhan
(In te rp erso n a l C h a ra cteristic S u rvey) danh ch o tat ca nhtfng sinh
vien m u o n th eo h o c n gan h T h am van. Sau do, nhtfng giao sU p h y
trach tro n g k h o a se g a p g d cac sinh vien , d ua ra n htfng nhan xet
va g o p y de sin h vien co th e tiep ty c th eo h o c h o a c ch u yen sang
ch u yen n g a n h h o c k h a c p h u hQp hQn.

V an th eo T hS. M ai T h i V iet thang, tron g qua trin h dao tao, khi

sinh vien p h ai h oan th an h xon g 3 m on h oc th eo trin h ttf thcfi gian.
Do la ki n an g th a m vain c a ban, li th u yet th am van , v a ki nan g th am
van b ac cao, sin h vien co th e dang ki de tim n a i thtfc tap. T h d i gian
thtfc tap it nh at ch o m oi sin h vien th eo duoi b an g th ac si la 700 gid
- tron g dd b at b u o c la 280 g id trtfc tiep. T h o n g thtfdng, ch u a n g
trinh thtfc tap se k eo dai k h o a n g m ot nam den mQt nam rtfdi. Khi
di thtfc tap sin h vien p h ai m u a bao h iem n ghe n ghiep, lam viec
dtfdi stf g iam sat ctfa 3 ngtfdi giam sat (su p erviso rs) do la n gu di
giam sat trtfc tiep tai c a sd thtfc tap (onsite- su p ervisor), n gu di
giam sat tai trtfd n g, th tfd n g la nhtfng sin h vien d an g th eo h oc
ch tfang trin h tien si n am cuoi (u n iversity su p ervisor), va ngtfdi
giam sat n h o m (grou p su p ervisor). N htfng n gu d i giam sat n ay se
trQ giiip sin h vien th o n g qua viec chia se ca (case review , ta m dich),
giai q u yet nhtfng va n de kh o kh an ctfa ca n h an co lien q u an den
cong v iec, d an h gia m tfc d<? cdi m d cua sin h vien tro n g q ua trin h
lam v ie c v a h o c hoi... MQt sinh vien th eo h o c ch u a n g trin h th ac si
sau k h i da h o a n th a n h het cac ld p h oc th eo yeu cau con p h a i th am
dtf niQt ki thi to n g hQp (co m p reh en sive exam ) v a phai dat dtfQc
mQt so d iem th eo q u y dinh. M oi sinh vien chi dtfQc th am d tfk i thi
n ay hai lan , va neu sin h vien kh on g qua duQc hai Tan thi n a y thi
to an b o ket qua hoc tap tron g suot th di gian trtfdc do se bi htfv bo.
Sau khi h o a n th ien x o n g cac ldp hoc bat b uoc, ki thi to n g hQp. cac
sinh vien cu a k h o a ditQc dac cach th am dtf mQt ki thi do U y b an
266 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

quan li v e cap ch u n g chi han h ngh'e tu van (N ation al Board of

C ertified C o u n selo r - N B C C ) to chirc "Nhurng nha th am van co
ch u n g chi" (N atio n al C ertified C ou n selor - N C C ).

2. Phan loai cdc chitc danh nghe nghiep

D u d i d a y la m o t so c h u t d an h cu a cac p h a n n g a n h chuyen
m on th a m v a n th eo b a n g p h an loai cac churc d an h ngh'e nghiep
cu a H oa Ki doi v d i n h u n g n g u d i dutfc cap b an g de h an h nghe
th a m v a n 1, do la:

- T ham van g ia o due, h ittin g n g h iep va h o c dw&ng cung cap

ch o ca n h a n v a n h o m d ich vu th a m va n h u d n g n g h iep va giao
due. N g u d i la m co n g ta c n a y th u d n g dugfc go i ch u n g la nha tham
van h o c d u d n g . H o h o trtf cho h o c sin h v a la m viec vcfi nhung ca
n h an v a to c h u t k h a c de d ay m a n h v ie c p h a t trien h o c tap, hudng
n gh iep , v a n d'e ca n h a n v a xa h oi cu a tre em v a th a n h th ieu nien.
N h a th a m va n h o c d u d n g g iu p h o c sin h d a n h gia k h a nang, hung
th u , ta i n a n g v a d ac d iem n h an cach cu a h o c sin h de phat trien
k h a n a n g h o c ta p th u ’c stf v a m u c tieu ngh'e n gh iep . C o n g viec ciia
n h a th a m v a n tieu h o c la th u d n g xu yen q u a n sat tre em trong ldp
h o c v a tr o n g lu c ch o i, h o i y vd i g ia o v ie n v a p h u h u yn h ciia chung
de d an h g ia d iem m a n h , va xem xet ca c n h u cau d ac b ie t ciia timg
tre. H o it q u a n ta m den co n g ta c h u d n g n g h iep v a n an g luc hoc
tap n h u ca c n h a th a m va n tru n g hoc. T ro n g k h i n h a th am van hoc
d u d n g d ca c tr u d n g tru n g h o c lai q u an ta m d en v ie c m ot h oc sinh
co n en h o c tiep d ai h o c h a y k h o n g , q u a n ta m den n h im g dieu kien
de dutfc n h a n v a o ca c tru d n g d ai h oc, v a n d'e th i xet tu y en , ho trtf
v'e ta i ch in h , de co th e cu n g cap n h u n g ld i k h u y e n b o ich cho hoc
sinh . H o g iu p h o c sin h p h a t trie n ki n a n g tim ngh'e n ghiep, ki
th u a t k h i di p h o n g v a n xin viec. C on ca c n h a th a m va n hudng
n g h iep dai h o c la i ta p tru n g h o trtf sin h v ie n p h a t trien ngh'e
n g h iep v a ki th u a t tim v ie c lam .

N h in ch u n g , cac n h a th a m va n h o c d u d n g d tat ca cap hoc

d eu g iu p h o c sin h h ieu v a doi p h o vd i nhirng va n d'e xa h oi va ca
n h an , cu n g cap ch o h o c sin h n h u n g ki n an g so n g can th iet de

1 Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Psychology: Counselmg-and Counseling

Psychology, tai li#u da dan http: w-vvw.guidetopsychology.com .
 C H U O N G 5: Oa o du'c trong th am van tam li 267

dtfPng d au v d i nhirng va n de co th e x a y ra. C ac n ha th am van h oc

dtfdng cu n g ta n g cu d n g cac dich v y p h on g tran h rUpu v a m a tuy,
giai q u y et nhtfng cu oc xu n g dot tro n g ld p hoc. H o cu n g co trach
n hiem tro n g v ie c p h a t hien nhtfng trtfdng h p p bj lam d u n g tron g
gia d in h v a ca c van de k h a c lien quan den gia d in h h o c sinh,
nham tao dieu kign th u an lpi cho qua trin h p hat trien ve ca nhan,
xa h oi v a h o c tap cu a h o c sinh.

- C d c nhd tham van td i hda nhap q u an tam g iu p dd nhtfng

ngtfdi bi k h u y e t tat b am sinh, om dau, b en h tat, tai nan, h a y
nhirng ca n g t h in g tro n g cu o c son g h an g ngay. Hq g iu p cac than
chii doi p h o vd i kh o k h a n de h oa n hap vd i xa hoi. C o n g vigc ciia
ho la d an h gia nhtfng d iem m an h va nhtfng gid i h a n cua tim g ca
nhan, cu n g cap d jch v u th a m van ca n han v a n gh e n gh iep , tim
kiem ca c d ich v y ch am soc y te, dao tao n gh e v a th a y doi con g viec
cho th an chu. C ac n h a th a m va n tai h o a n h ap k h o n g chi lam viec
vdi nhtfng ca n h a n th ie t th oi, m a cdn lam v ie c vd i cac gia dinh
than chii. H o d an h g ia n htfng b an b ao cao ciia tru d n g hoc, y te,
thao lu an v a dat k e h o a ch v d i b a c si, n ha tam ly, n h an vien cong
tac xa h o i v a nhtfng n h a tu y en d y n g de xac d in h k h a n an g cu a ca
nhan do, n h a m g iu p th a n chu p hat trien ki n an g n gh e nghiep.
M y c tieu g iu p d d cu a cac n ha th am va n tai h o a n h ap la tan g
ctfdng k h a n a n g cu a th a n chii de ho co cu o c so n g d oc lap.

- N h d tha m van s ite k h o e tam than lam v ie c vd i cac ca nhan,

gia d in h v a n h o m tro n g p h a m vi co n g v ie c k h a rong. N h a th am
van sifc k h o e tam th a n th tfd n g dtfpc dao tao n h ieu ki th u a t tri lieu
kh ac n h au , lien q u a n d en v a n de tram cam , n g h ien va la m d u n g
chat, x u n g d on g, ttf sat, doi p ho stress. H q q u an tam va n de vd i
lon g ttf tro n g , n htfng va n de ve n ghe n g h iep v a h o c tap , va n de gia
dinh, la m ch a m e, v a q u an h e h o n n h an h a y n htfng v a n de q u an
he xa h o i k h a c. C ac n h a th a m van sire kh o e tam th a n th tfd n g lam
viec b e n ca n h b a c si ta m th an , n ha tam ly, n h a th a m v a n lam sang
xa h o i, n gtfdi ch am soc tam th an , v a nha th a m van h o c dtfdng.

- N h d tri lieu hon n han gia din h th tfd n g dtfpc goi la n ha tri
lieu ta m li. H o cu n g cap cac n gu yen tac, p h u o n g p h ap va ki th u at
trj h eu ch o cac ca n h an , gia dinh, cac cap, h o a c cac to chirc de giai
q u y et n h im g x u n g dpt cam xuc. C on g viec cua ho lien q u an den stf
d ieu ch in h n h an thirc va h an h vi ciia th an ch ii, cai th ien giao tiep
268 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

v a n an g cao su1 h ieu b ie t lan nhau gitfa cac th a n h v ie n gia dinh,

giu p ca n h an v a g ia d in h d tfpn g dau v a tran h d tfpc k h u n g hoang.
N h a tri ligu h o n n h a n v a gia d in h can n h a c tin h tra n g va n d'e cua
th an chu de q u y et d in h ch u yen giao phu h p p th a n chu cua minh
cho b a c si tam th an , kh i van d'e cua th an ch u co roi lo a n v'e stfc
k h o e tam th a n d th e nan g.

- N h a th a m va n ve la m d u n g ritcfu va n g h ien m a tuy.

C o n g v i? c ctfa h o th u d n g ta i ca c cP sd , b£nh vi<?n, h o a c cac to
ch tfc lie n q u a n d en ca c ch tfP n g trin h p h d n g c h o n g la m dyng
ca c c h a t g a y n g h ip n . H o th u d n g th a m v a n ch o ca c ca nhan
n g h ie n m a tu y , g iu p th a n ch u n h an b ie t ca c h a n h v i roi loan do
cac c h a t g a y n g h ie n v a ca c v a n d'e lie n q u a n d en n g h ie n ngap.
H o c u n g ch i d ao ch U P n g tr in h n h S m v a o n g a n n gtfa nghi<?n hut
ttf lu c m d i x a y ra. N h a th a m v a n v'e la m d y n g ca c ch at gay
n g h ig n th u d n g to ch tfc ca c b u o i trj li? u ch o ca c ca n h an , gia
d in h , h o a c n h o m . D a so ca c n h a th a m v a n d lin h v y c n a y chi tot
n g h ie p d b a c ctf n h a n . V d i n h tfn g n g u d i co b a n g ca p n h u vay,
te n gpi “ n h a th a m v a n ” h a y "n h a tri lig u " ch i la m p t chtfc danh
c o n g vi£c, m a k h o n g p h a i la m o t ch tfn g n h a n de h a n h ngh'e doc
la p ( n h u b a n g T ie n si T a m li h o c la m s a n g , h a y T ie n si T am li
h o c th a m v a n ). Di'eu n a y c u n g tu o n g ttf n h u v ig c ch u n g ta goi
m o t n g u d i d a y d tr u d n g d ai h o c la "g ia o stf" d e p h a n b ig t vdi
ch tfc d a n h "g ia o v ie n " - n gtfd i d a y d tr tfd n g p h o th o n g . Chtfc
d a n h g ia o stf n a y n h a m ch i co n g v ig c d a y h p c d b a c d ai hpc, ma
k h o n g p h a i ch i h o c h a m g ia o sU (h a y p h o g ia o stf) - m o t bang
ca p d u p e c o n g n h a n . C u n g n h tf v a y , m o t lin h m y c C o n g giao
h a y m o t M u c stf d ao T in L a n h , d ao D o T h a i cu n g co th e cung
ca p d ich v u th a m v a n tr o n g k h u o n k h o tr a c h n h ig m ton giao
ctfa m in h . 6 k h ia ca n h n a o do n g u d i ta g o i h o la "n h a tham
v a n ". T u y n h ie n h o k h o n g p h a i la "n h a th a m v a n d u p e cong
nhan" n h u m ot nghe.

Co th e co n k e ra th e m m o t so n htfng n h a th a m van kh ac, nhtf

n ha th a m va n n gtfdi cao tu oi. C o n g vigc cu a h o la cu n g cap dich
v y cho n h tfn g n gtfdi gia va gia d in h cu a ho kh i n h o m n a y phai doi
m at v d i n h tfn g th a y ddi v e each son g cho phu h p p vd i tu oi gia.
N h a th a m va n da va n h o a th tfd n g giu p cac to chtfc tu y en d u n g va
q u an li ltfc ltfp n g lao d p n g vd i nhtfng dac d iem van h o a khac
C H U O N G 5: D a o dufc trong th am van ta m If 269

nhau , g iu p ngtfdi lao d o n g th ich nghi va p hat trien to t tro n g m ot

m oi tr u d n g lam vi£c da d an g cua ho...

D e d at b a n g cap la n ha th am van ch u yen n g h iep (L icen sed

P ro fessio n a l C o u n se lo r - LPC ), ngtfofi h a n h n gh e p h ai h o c va thi
chuofng trin h th a c si thtfc han h h a y tien si ve th a m van h o a c linh
vtfc lien q u a n den th a m va n ttf m ot trtfdng dai h o c co cap b an g
tron g th d i gia n to i th ieu ttf 6 den 8 nam . N htfng ngUcfi co the
dtfpfc cap b a n g de h a n h n ghe th am van , tri li£u tam li ttf cac
nganh k h a c n h au tai H oa Ky, do la:

- B a c s i tam than (P sych ia trist). M ot b ac si tam th an co b an g

b ac si y k h o a v d i k h a n an g cu a m in h co th e ke d P n th u o c, co the
lam tri li<?u ta m li. Y ta tam th a n (P sych ia tric N u rse) cu n g co the
thtfc h a n h tri li£u ta m li (vdi nhtfng dao tao p h u hofp) tro n g m ot
so m oi trtfd n g.

- Y ta ta m th a n (P sy ch ia tric N u rse) h a y k i th u a t vien tam

than (P sy ch ia tric T e c h n icia n ), nhtfng ngtfofi lam vi£c tro n g cac
m oi trtfd n g b£nh vi£n, cac ccf sd p h y c hoi chtfc n an g, v a cac ccf stf
cham soc d ia p h u p n g , lam vi£c tro n g lin h vtfc ta m va n dong,
chinh am , ch am soc b f n h n h an v.v... N htfng ngUcfi n a y k h o n g the
lam vi£c d oc lap , m a p h ai lam vi£c dtfdi stf g iam sat cua cac
ch uyen gia - n h tfn g ngtfofi co chtfng ch i g ia m sat tro n g cac m oi
trtfdng la m vi£c tren .

- C dn s it x a h o i (S o cia l W o rk er) vofi b a n g th a c si tro n g cong

tac xa h o i co th e h a n h n gh e doc lap n h u m o t n h a tri li?u tam li
lam san g (n h tfn g b a n g cap ctfa ho va n la C an stf xa h o i), h a y m ot
nha tri li? u h o n n h a n v a gia dinh.

- D a n h hieu nha tam li hoc (Psychologist) d H oa Ki thtfdng

dugfe b ao v ? b d i luat phap. M ot ngirdi co b an g tien si h a y thac si tam
li h oc cu n g kh o n g dtfpc goi la nha tam li hpc neu kh on g dtfpc cap
giay p h ep b d i m pt ban g. Khi cac b an g chtfng nhan cho ai do danh
hipu n ha tam li hoc, ho th u d n g kh ong quan tam den vi£c ngtfdi do
co b an g v e tam li hoc lam sang h ay tam li hpc th am va n h a y tam li
hpc giao dye. V i vay, d hau het cac bang, m ot ngtfdi vd i chtfng nhan
n ha ta m li h oc co the lam thtfc hanh lam sang m ot cach h p p phap,
m a kh d n g can quan tam tdi b an g trong linh vtfc nao.
2 70 Giao trinh T h a m van tamli

6 V i?t N am , tinh trang lam tham

van kh on g b an g cap dang la van de Cdc tu van vien d day
dUtfc nhac den trong cac hoi thao ve thudng mac quan do d nha
tham van. Hi£n co kh a nhfeu nha tham khi lam viec. Ho vita nam
van kh on g co chuyen m on (khong dit&i san nhd vita tro chuyen
diTtfc dao tao gi ve tam li hoc, hoac mcri dien thoai v&i khach hang.
chi qua m ot vai kh oa tap huan ve tham Tu van vien noi rat nhieu, hq
van) cung h oat dong trong linh vtfc thudng noi cau: '"Theo toi chi
th am van, va tu1m inh goi la "nha tham nen...”; "Hay cho toi biet...”;
van". Tai cuoc hoi thao ve thu’c trang "... dung khdng?"
cong tac th am van 0 V iet N a m 1, nhieu
(Y kien nhom sinh vien thyc
nha chuyen m on ve tam li, giao due,
tap, K49, Khoa Tam li hoc,
cong tac xa hoi da to ra lo n g a i khi
2007)
nhi'eu tu van vien kh on g dirgfc dao tao
du va dung ve tam li va tu van hay tham van tam li dang hanh ngh'e
tham van trong xa hoi va ly c lutfng tu van vien hi£n co cua Vi£t Nam
chu yeu la “tay n g an g ” (phan 1cm xuat than tu* nha giao), hoac dir<?c
trang bi them kien thu’c va ki nang qua cac khoa tap huan ngan han.
Do do, ho da kh on g thu’c hi£n cac nguyen tac, p h u on g phap, cach tiep
can co ban cua m ot chuyen vien (phan n ay da trinh b ay ki 0 chirong
2, phan noi v e thu’c trang hoat dong tham van O’ Vi<?t N am ).

CAU HOI ON TA P CHl/tfNG 5

C au l. P h an tich m oi q u an h ? giira lu a t p h ap va q u y di'eu dao

du’c tro n g th a m van.
C au 2. H a y trin h b a y m ot so n g u yen ta c d ao du’c cO ban ciia
cac n g a n h trgr g iu p con ngtfcri.
C au 3. H a y ch i ra m ot so d iem co b an tro n g cac tieu chuan
d ao du'c tro n g n g a n h T h a m van tren th e gicri.
C au 4. C h i ra cac tin h h u o n g co th e dugrc goi la vi pham dao
du’c tro n g th a m van . H(?p d on g th am van.
C au 5. H a y chi ra v a p h a n tich cac k h ia can h p h ap li can co
tr o n g m p t b an hg’p d on g th a m va n vcri k h a ch hang.

1 Hoi thao ve thu'c trang cong tac tham van 0 Vi£t Nam, Hoi Khoa hoc Tam li -
Giao due TP.HCM. to chut 2/2006 tai Thanh pho Ho Chi Minh.
 CHITONG6
Ki NANG THAM VAN TAM Lj

Giong nhu" viec Tan dau tap di xe dap hoac cheo thuyen, viec hoc
cdc ki nang tham van ban dau bao gid cung cam thay lung
tung. Tuy nhien, ban se thay rdng cang thu’c hanh thi ban cang
ttf nhien vd ban se cam thay de dang... Kinh nghiem cd nhan,
trinh dQ dao tao, doc sach vd trao doi chuyen mon - tat cd da
giup toi hod hcfp tot hcfn cdc ki nang tham van ciia minh. M ac
dii tdi tin la mot so ngitdi cd ttf cha't ciia nhd tham van, nhtfng
tdi ngd rdng ngtfdi ta dtfpc sinh ra vdi kha nang tham van, md
phai hoc cach dp dung cdc ki nang tham van. Tren thtfc te,
ngay cd nhtfng ngtfdi cd kha nang ttf nhien ve giup d d cung
cdn du’Q'c dao tao de trd thanh cdc bac thay trong cong viec ho
dang lam.
(E. Neukrug)

T rird c k h i di sa u p h a n tich mQt so k i n a n g th a m v a n th o n g

d y n g , n h u k i n a n g L a n g n gh e, k i n in g D at cau h o i, k i n a n g T h a u
hieu , k i n a n g P h a n h o i, k i n a n g D ien g iai, k i n a n g X u li sy 1 im
l§n g, k i n a n g T h o n g d at, k i n a n g C u n g cap th o n g tin , k i n a n g
Boc 1q b a n th a n v a k i n a n g D u o n g d au , co m p t v a i d iem n h ac
ch u n g to i lUu y la k h o n g p h a i ta t ca cac k i n a n g th a m v a n deu co
m u c do sir d u n g v a o th u c te la n h u n h au . V a v i th e ch u n g k eo
th eo mire do n g h ie n ciru de h o a n th i? n v e m at k i th u a t sir d y n g
ch im g c im g k h a c n h a u . C h iin g toi n h a n th a y ra n g k i n a n g L an g
n gh e, k i n a n g D at cau h o i, ki n an g T h a u h ieu , k i n a n g P h a n hoi,
ki n a n g D oi ch at... d u p e cac ch u y en gia n g h ie n ciru nhi'eu va sau.
V i th e n g u d i d a y co th e th a o ta c h o a cho sin h v ie n lu y e n tap m ot
ca c h tu o'n g doi de d a n g . T ro n g kh i cac k i n a n g k h a c, n h u ki n a n g
L a m s a n g to , k i n a n g Q u a n tam , k i n a n g L am m a u ... h o a c ch im g
272 Giao trinh T h a m van tam h

chi d tfp c m o ta v'e m a t li th u y e t tro n g ca c ta i lieu , n h u n g thieu stf

h tfd n g d an de th a o ta c h oa. H oac co n h tfn g k i n a n g d tfpc cac nha
th a m v a n tr in h b a y th eo htfcfng u n g d y n g th tfc te, n h tfn g viec mo
ta li th u y e t v'e ch u n g co n n g h eo nan . C a c k i n a n g n a y b an than
ch u n g cd ta n su a t u n g d u n g va o th tfc te k h o n g nhi'eu nen co the
ch u n g it d tfp c q u a n ta m n g h ien cutf de h o a n th ien .
K hi th a m va n , ch u n g ta k h o n g chi stf d y n g tu n g k i nan g tham
van rien g le, m a th tfd n g co stf ket h p p gitfa cac k i nan g. V i d y nhir
nha th a m va n tro n g khi stf d y n g k i n an g th au h ieu co th e ket hpp
vd i k i n a n g d at cau h oi, n htf n ha th am va n noi: "C h j cam thay lo
lang, b a t an k h i n han thay con g a i m in h y eu m o t ngw&i ma theo
chf cau ta d a n g lira ddi cha u, dii ch j da n h a c n h d ch a u nhieu ran
nhw ng ch a u van bo n g o a i tai. N hw n g n g w d i m e co yeu thwang
va trach n h iem v& i con kh i r d i vao tinh the cu a ch j ho cung co
tam tran g g io n g chj. Vay theo chj, d ieu gi k h ien con gai chj
khd n g n g h e theo l&i g o p y cua c h j? ”
H oac, k i n an g p h an h oi co the sir dtfng ket h p p vd i ki nang d^t
cau n h am g iu p n ha th a m van n am ch ac h o n van de ciia than chu.
V i du n htf n h a th am van co the noi: "Nhw vay la ch i da noi ve sW
gian dw cua m in h kh i n ghe tin chon g chf k h o n g chu n g thiiy vdi
chi vd nhw ng su y n g h i cua ch i hw&ng den v iec xin li hon. Vay theo
chi, d ieu gi se x a y ra v&i h a i d ita con cua m in h kh i cha m e chimg
li hon?"
D oi v d i n h a th a m v a n m d i h a n h n g h e , v ie c tap lu yen cac
th a o ta c ctfa m o t k i n a n g , h a y v ie c v | n d y n g lo n g g h e p vai ki
n a n g tr o n g m o t th o n g d iep se rat lu n g tu n g , vi k h a n an g di'eu
p h o i cim g m o t lu c ca c th a o ta c h a y ca c k i n a n g d o n le la kho.
K in h n g h ie m lu y e n k i n a n g cu a c h im g to i ch o th a y chi khi nao
ngtfd i h o c cd h ie u b ie t li th u y e t v e k i n a n g do, n a m dtfpc trin h ty
cu a tim g th a o ta c, co th a i do n h in n h an tich ctfc v'e th a n chii, it
nhi'eu co m p t so p h a m ch at cu a m pt n h a th a m v a n chuyen
n g h ie p v a k e t h p p th tfc h a n h (lu ye n ta p ) k i n a n g th i lu c do mdi
go i la n a m vtfn g k i n a n g . M a t k h a c, m ot k i n a n g th a m va n nao
do chi co th e tr d n en sir d u n g co h ieu q u a kh i no d tfp c ket hpp
v d i stf b ie u h ie n p h i n g o n ngtf (g io n g n oi, n et m at, ttf th e ...) va
CHLTONG 6: Ki nang t h a m van tam li 2 73

th e h ien m p t cach p h u h p p vofi b oi can h cua m o i q u a n h e th a m

va n . V i d y , th a n ch u d an g rat t u t gi£n h a y lo la n g v'e n an de cua
ho, n h a th a m va n d$t cau h oi, h a y p h an h o i b a n g m o t g io n g noi
to h a y n o i n h a n h , th i du n h a th a m va n co th a n h t h y c sir d y n g
cac k i n a n g d en m a y cu n g se b j th a t b ai tro n g tin h h u o n g nay.
C u n g nhu" v£y, v ie c th a m v a n k h o d em l$i ket q u a k h i th a n chu
d an g v u i ve , n oi n h ieu co n n h a th a m v a n l^i tro ch u y e n v d i ho
b an g m o t g io n g noi d eu d eu , n oi nho, m£t k h o n g ctfdi h a y k h o n g
n h in h o k h i n oi ch u y en .
T r o n g c a c k i n a n g th a m v a n , co m o t so k i n a n g dirpc sir
d y n g ch u y e u , co tin h c h a t q u y e t d in h ch in h tr o n g ca c b u o i
h o a c tr o n g m o t g ia i d o a n cu a q u a trin h th a m v a n . N h tf, k i n a n g
la n g n g h e , k i n a n g p h a n h o i, k i n a n g th a u h ie u , k i n a n g th a c h
thu'c, k i n a n g th o n g d$t... E .D . N e u k ru g (19 9 9 ) ch o ra n g ca c k i
n an g ca n d tfp c sir d y n g dtfa tre n stf h ie u b ie t sau sa c v e n h u cau
cua th a n ch u c u n g n h tf ca c v a n de cu a th a n ch u . O n g d a p h a n
ch ia ca c k i n a n g th a m v a n th e o ca c n h o m k h a c n h a u : N h o m k i
n an g cP b a n b a o g o m k i n a n g la n g n g h e , k i n a n g th a u h ie u , k i
n an g im la n g . N h o m k i n a n g p h o b ie n la k i n a n g d£t cau h o i, k i
n a n g ttf b o c lp b a n th a n , k i n a n g la m m a u . C o n k i n a n g d tfPn g
d au, k i n a n g th o n g d^t d tfp c x e p v a o n h o m ca c k i n a n g n a n g
cao. M p t so k i n a n g k h a c , n h tf k i n a n g k h u y e n k h ic h , ch ap
n h an , x a y d tfn g lo n g ttf tr o n g v a k i n a n g dtfa ra ld i k h u y e n ,
cu n g ca p th o n g tin v a k i n a n g dtfa ra stf Itfa ch o n d tfp c o n g xep
va o n h o m k i n a n g sir d y n g th£n tro n g . N g o a i ra co n co ca c k i
n a n g ca o ca p v a k i n a n g d | c b ie t do ca c n h a th a m v a n co tr in h
do ca o sir d y n g . T u y n h ie n o n g cu n g k h o n g ch i rd d o la n h tfn g
k i n a n g c y th e n a o . S a u d a y la m o t so k i n a n g th a m v a n ca n h a n
th tfd n g d tfp c c a c n h a th a m v a n sir d y n g m p t ca c h th o n g d y n g .

Mot s6 kT nang du'Q’c su» dung trong tham v§n

- KI nang Lang nghe - Ki nang Xay dtfng long ttf trpng

- Ki nang Quan tam - Ki nang Dtfa ldi khuyen
- Ki nang Thau hieu - Ki nang Cung cap thong tin
- Ki nang Thong dat - Ki nang Tom ltfpc, tom tat
 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- KI nang Phan hoi - Ki n i n g Khuyen khich,

- KI nang D§t cau hoi dQ ng v ie n

- KI nang Chi dan - KI nang Xir li im l|n g

- KI nang ducrng dau, thach thu'c - KI nang Thao lu£n van d e

nh$y cam
- KI nang Lam sang to
- KI nang Khen thirdng
- KI nang Tran an
- KI n a n g Tap t r u n g chu y
- KI nang Tvrb§c 1q
v ao m Qt d ie m
- KI nang Giai thich
- KI nang khai quat hoa
- KI nang giao tiep khong ldi
- KI nang Lam mau
- KI nang Tham do

I. k i n A n g l An g n g h e

N g a n n gir P h ap noi rin g : N girdi k h o n n g o a n la ngirdi biet

la n g nghe! N g a n ngir T ru n g Q u o c d^y rang: M o t n g u d i noi hay
k h o n g b a n g m Q t n g u d i n ghe gioi! C dn n h a t h a m v a n quan niem
rang: K h o n g la n g n gh e kh d n g phai la t h a m van !

l. K hdi ni$m lang nghe

T h e o T it d ien tieng V iet (H o a n g V a n H an h , 20 0 3 ), lan g nghe
la tap tru n g h et sure de th u n h an cho dUQc am th a n h ” . T h y c te,
n g h e la de h ieu n g u d i kh ac. N g h e de tiep nh^n th o n g tin, de xac
d|nh phUQng h u d n g giao tiep. N g u d i b ie t l i n g n gh e la n gu di biet
ton trQng ld i noi, n g u d i noi, la n g u d i h a m h ieu b iet, n gh e de noi
duQc to t hern v a co cach c u xir hQp li hern. N g u d i b ie t n gh e thudng
la n g u d i co k i n a n g l i n g nghe.
L in g n g h e tro n g giao tiep h a n g n g a y la q u a trin h im lan g de
th u n h a n n h im g th o n g tin p h a t ra tir n g u d i noi q u a ccf q u an thinh
g ia c (tai). C ac n g h ie n ciru k h o a h o c chi ra rang: to e dQ ld i noi ciia
m oi ca n h a n la 125 tir/ p h u t, tro n g k h i con n g u d i co th e su y nghi
n h an h gap 4 la n noi. T h d i gian d u thira n a y bo n ao d an h cho vi?c
su y t u va n de k h a c. T ro n g k h i nghe, ch iin g ta th u d n g ch on I q c
n h u n g th o n g tin can th ie t cho m in h va loai b o n h u n g th o n g tin
k h d n g n i m tr o n g n h u cau ciia ch u n g ta. N h u v | y tro n g k h i lin g
ngh e n g u d i k h a c, 1/4 th d i gian ta nghe, con lai ta th u d n g suy
C H U O N G 6: KI nang th a m van tam If | 2 75

n gam , d an h gia d u n g sai th eo cac ch u an m y c ca n h an h a y xa hpi,

dira ra ca c p h iro n g an giai quyet... L ang n gh e nhuf v a y la ch u a dat
dtfpc ye u cau tro n g th a m van.

T ro n g th a m va n , n gh e kh o n g Lan dau tiep xuc v&i than chu toi

phai la m p t h o a t d on g chi dim g
co tai, m a p h a i s y d y n g tat ca cac
giac q u an . Theo D a in o w
B ailey, cach m ieu ta to t nh at cua
s y la n g n g h e tich e ye la " N g h e
c o k i lu Q .t". C on C. R ogers lai
cho r in g : “L a n g n gh e co n gh ia la
n gim g noi, n g im g su y n g h i” . C on
ngirdi co th e l i n g n g h e b in g tai,
b in g tri tu e, co n n h a th a m van
phai l i n g n g h e ca b i n g trai tim !
L in g n gh e tich e y e la m p t k i n an g
kho lu ye n , n h im g lai la k i n an g co
thay hoi hyp va cd mQt chut lo
lang vi khong biet minh co giup
dwpc gi cho than chu khdng. Toi
va
cam thay minh lang nghe khong
tu nhien vi trong dau luon nghi
"than chu noi nhw vay thi tiep
theo minh se phai noi loai cau gi
day, noi l&i thau hieu hay phan
hoi". Vi the tdi da khong the tap
trung hoan toan cho vi$c lang
nghe. Nhieu luc tdi cam thay rdi
dan den vi$c tap trung vao khai
thac thong tin cua than chu hefn la
lang nghe than chu. (MTP, K49,
2007)

tinh ch at q u y et d in h d oi v d i hieu
qua th a m van .
E.D . N e u k ru g da d ien ta viec l i n g n gh e cu a n ha th a m van
nhir sau: T r y d c h et la l i n g n gh e b in g tai vd i tat ca k h a n an g cua
m inh v a l i n g n g h e k h o n g phai b in g tai, m a la m pt tra n g th ai nhu1
m pt cai ao h o p h in g la n g . N d h oan to an y e n tin h v a k h i ta n em
m pt v ie n da x u o n g do, no se tao nen n h im g g p n so n g nhd v a b ien
m at. T o i n g h i s y l i n g n g h e b en tro n g la s y l i n g n g h e k h o n g phai
b an g tai, m p t tr a n g th ai nPi m a tin h th an h o a n to an yen tin h va
khi m p t cau h o i x u a t h ien tro n g tam tirdng, cau tra ld i se la m pt
g p n so n g nho.
T ro n g th a m v a n , l i n g nghe la di vao npi tam cua th a n chu,
hieu hp tro n g k h u n g can h , quan diem cu a hp. L in g n gh e cu n g la
s y tap tru n g chu y v a o th a n chu, k h d n g de b j chi p h oi b d i nhirng
gi x a y ra x u n g q u a n h va tro n g ch in h lo n g m in h. K i n a n g li n g
n gh e th e h ien d ch o n h a th a m van p h a i b iet dieu ch in h m in h,
d im g noi, d im g su y n gh i, tap tru n g vao cac tu* ngir m a th a n chu
2 76 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

noi ra m a k h o n g x e m x et cac m oi q u an h ? k h a c. L a n g n gh e giup

n h a th a m v a n di v a o n o i tam cu a th a n ch u , h ieu h o tro n g khung
can h q u a n d ie m cu a h o. L an g n g h e k h o n g p h ai ch i la im la n g ben
n go ai m a co n ca n ca s y im l$ng b en tro n g . N girdi n g h e to t phai
b ie t n g im g ta p tr u n g v a o d on g th a c lu cu a h in h an h, cam n gh i va
tir tird n g b en tro n g , ch u n g k h d n g n g im g tro i v a can trd ngirdi
n gh e k h d i n am b a t v a h ieu dirpc ld i noi cu a ngirdi kh ac. Vi£c lin g
n gh e d ich t h y c la m ch o ngirdi n g h e t y q u en m in h v a t y lam trong
ro n g h o n m in h de d o n nh£n ngirdi k h a c " 1.
Lang n gh e tich eye cua nha th am van dirpc th y c hi?n khi hp
nghe th a y b an g cam quan; khi th an chu noi la d an g co van de; khi
van de cua th an chu lam nha th am va n kh d n g de giai m a; kh^nha
th am van th a t s y ch ap nhan, m uon giu p d d v a kh ach quan vdi
kh ach hang; k h i nha th am van kh dng bj th u c b ach ve thdi gian,
kh dng vpi van g, s i n san g ch d dpi, kh i n ha th a m van tin la than chu
cd the tim ra giai p h ap cho b an than. N gtfp c lai, q ua trin h lin g nghe
tich eye b j can trd kh i n ha th am van d an g co van de vd i ban than
m inh h o a c n h a th am van co b ieu hien cam xu c m an h m e ve noi
d ung va n de cua th an chu. M at khac, kh i n ha th a m va n co nhirng tir
tirdng djnh kien ve th an chu h o a c khi h o co tim cach hirdng cho
th an chu su y nghi, cam nhan th eo cach m a n h a th a m van cho la
phai nhir v a y th i s y li n g nghe cu n g b i can trd. N go ai ra, khi nha
th am va n d oan tn rd c nhirng di'eu th an chu se noi ho^c khi nha tham
van cd n h ieu th o n g tin ve th an chii, h o a c d an g b an n gh i v'e nhirng
dieu se n oi v d i th a n chu thi nhirng th o n g tin n a y se can trd kh a nang
lin g n gh e tich eye ciia n ha th am van. V a cuoi cim g kh i nha tham
van bi ta c d on g b d i n goai canh nhir tien g on, nhi£t dp qua cao hay
thap, kh d n g kh i ngpt n gat h a y tro n g cP th e cam th a y b at an thi sy
lin g n gh e cua hp cu n g bj giam sut h o a c bi n gim g tr?. V i dy: Khi
nghe th an ch u ke v e nhirng tran don lien m ien va “ da m an" ciia
n g y d i ch on g doi v d i th an chii v a n ha th a m van nhan th a y than chii
kh dng cd y d in h to cao h a y "tam lanh". Di'eu n ay da lam cho nha
th am van "u tai" do cam th a y kh o n g thoai m ai vd i cach h a n h xir ciia

1 Hoai Nhan, Muc vu tir van, NXB Chan ly, 2000.

C H l f O N G 6: Ki nang th a m van ta m li 2 77'

th an chu. M §t khac, doi khi nhutig cau chuypn cua than chu n ay co
the nhu" dao s i c cura vao noi dau da dirpc vu i ldn neu nha tham van
da tu n g la nan nhan cua b$o hanh gia dinh va tron g th am tam nha
th am van sp gp i len qua khir dau buon cua m inh. V i v § y nha tham
van co th e rpi vao trying thai "nghe m a kh on g thay". H oac, nha tham
van da co nhirng cach hanh xir bieu hipn s y ne tran h m oi quan tam
cua kh ach han g, nhiT: noi lang chii de, trcT nen lu n g tung, h a y vo ve
than chu lam yen lo n g be ngoai... Nhirng dieu n ay lam han che vi$c
lang nghe ciia hp...
T ro n g trird n g h p p ngirpc lai, doi khi n h a th a m va n cam th a y
cd trach n h iem p h a i g iu p th an chu giai q u yet va n d'e nen da dira
ra ld i k h u y en , dira ra giai p h ap , d$t n h ieu cau h o i v a n ve o de thau
tom n h ieu n h a t va n de ciia th a n chu, ho£c ca n h b ao n g u y cP th eo
xu hirdn g "d p a d im " vd thu'c de th an chu cd h a n h d p n g di den
ch am dirt cu p c h o n n h a n m a n ha th am van ch o la n g u y h iem dd.
H o ic cd th e k h i n h a th a m va n cam th a y cach h a n h x y ciia th an
chu k h d n g p h u h p p v d i gia tri va n iem tin cu a m in h nen da cd
thai dp ho$ c b ie u hipn v e s y p h an xet, chi trich , len ld p v e dao du’c
vd i th a n chii. T a t ca nhirng b ieu hi?n tren d eu can trd vipc nha
th am v a n la n g n g h e ca c th a n chii noi ve van de ciia hp.
L in g n ghe se kem hipu qua khi: 1/ N ha th am van kh dng kien
nhan ch d ddi ngirdi noi; 2/ T hon g tin tir than chu dira ra qua nhieu
va g a y n h ieu cho sir t§p trun g lin g nghe ciia nha tham van; 3/ N ha
tham van d an g b an tam vd i vipc kh ac vi va y khdng co kh a nang tap
trung li n g nghe; 4/ N h a th am van cho r in g nhirng dieu d an g nghe
khdng cd gia tri gi vi v a y s y lin g nghe t y dpng bi dap tit ; 5/ N ha
tham van vpi v a n g rut ra ket luan vi cho r in g m inh da ro nan de cua
than chii; 6/ N h a th a m van co thanh kien tirtn rd c; 7/ N h a th am van
thieu d on g cam cim g dan den sir kem lin g nghe; 8/ N h a th am van
cd th ai dp tieu eye vd i than chii va van de ciia hp; 9/ N h a th am van
bi p h an tan do n goai canh gay ra nhir tieng on, nhi?t dp kh d n g phu
hpp: 10/ H oac do cach noi chuyen kem ciia than chu.
C u p c th a m v a n chi d em lai hipu qua khi th a n chii cam nh^n
dirpc s y q u a n ta m ciia n h a th am van th o n g q u a ki n an g l i n g nghe.
S y l i n g n g h e ciia n h a th am va n giu p th an chii cam th a y dirpc
d p n g v ie n de tiep ty c ch ia se. D o dd hp noi n h ieu h p n , ch ia se cam
2 78 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

g ia c cu a m in h nhi'eu h o n la trin h b a y va n d'e cu a m in h . T h a n chu

cam th a y g ia i to a v a g ia i p h o n g dtfQc m in h k h o i stf k ie m che cua
ngirdi khac: V a n h u 1 v£y th a m va n de d an g h o n tro n g stf ttf djnh
hirdng, ttf co tra c h n h iem v a ty* l| p v d i v a n d'e cu a m in h . Dieu
q u a n trQng cu a v i? c la n g n gh e tro n g th a m va n la g iu p p h at trien
m oi q u a n h ? n o n g nhi£t v a gan gui gitfa n h a th a m v a n va than
chu.

2. Cac yeu to cua sit lang nghe

K a th e ryn G e ld a rd va D avid G e ld a rd 1 chi ra b a y thanh to
ch in h cu a stf la n g n gh e tich ctfc. Dd la: h o a nh£p vd i n gon ngtf ccf
th e cu a th a n chu; n h an m<mh; stf dtfng n htfng cau tra ldi tdi
th ieu ; liru y di'eu th ie u sot; stf dtfng stf p h an an h; sir dtfng vi$c
to m t i t . D ifd i d a y ch u n g ta se p h an tich ctf th e ca c th a n h to nay.
- N h d tha m van hoa n ha p v&i n gon ngw ccf the ciia than chii,
hay cdn g o i la sW d a p itn g khd n g l&i
K hi la n g n gh e tich ctfc, n ha th a m v a n ttf dQng cd nhtfng hanh
vi p h i n g o n n gtf p h u h d p vd i tu" th e cu a th a n chtf. Dd la dap utig
p h i n g o n ngtf, stf h o a n h | p ctfa n gon n gtf ccf th e v d i th o n g tin than
chtf d an g ch ia se. N d th e hi£n stf la n g n gh e tich ctfc ctfa n ha tham
van . Stf h o a n h a p n a y d em den cho th a n chtf mQt th o n g di?p la
"Tdi d an g la n g n g h e an h d ay"!, "Tdi d an g m u o n g iu p anh day"!
Stf h o a nh£p ctfa n h a th a m v a n th e hi£n d tir th e, h a n h vi cd
th e g io n g nhiT ctfa th a n chtf. C h a n g h a n , k h i th a n chtf n goi thoai
m ai, n h a th a m v a n d ap u*ng mQt cach ttf n h ien vd i d an g ve thoai
m ai. B a rry N eil K a u fm a n da ke lai k in h n g h iem h o a n h ap ngon
ngtf cQ th e cu a m in h v d i.th a n chtf tro n g cu o n "H a y de ld p tre yeu
th iron g" nhu* s a u 2:
- C h a u thay the n a o D a v id ?

1 Katheryn Geldard va David Geldard, Cong tac tham van tre em (2000) va Tham
van thanh thieu nien (2002) - Nguyen Xuan Nghia va Le Lqc djch va bien tap.
D^i hpc mcf ban cong TP Ho Chi Minh.
2 Barry Neil Kaufman, Hay de’ l&p tre tit Itfa chQn hay nghe thuat yeu thu'crng
(Doan Hoan bien dich), NXB Thanh nien, 1998.
C H U O N G 6: Ki nan g t h a m van tam If 2 79

- C h a u k h o n g m u o n n oi
T u y m a t lon g, m a t cau khdng the hien g ia n du" th a t sit. Cau
dam tay tro n g m a y p h u t. Tdi n g oi xu o n g gan, b a t ch it& c cau.
D a v id n g h i ng& n hin to i rdi thdi dam . Tdi cu n g lam the. K h i cau
lai d a m , tdi cu n g la i lam the. Cau liec m a t q u a n s a t tdi. B o n g
nhien ca u d itn g len noi...

N h a th a m v a n co th e
Tham van trite tiep co cai Icti la ngitdi
g£t d'au k h i co n g nh$n dieu
lam tham van co the quan sat anh
th an ch u n oi, h o § c b a y to
mat, giQng noi, cit chi, tay chan, tit the
net m §t p h u hqfp vcri ta m ngoi cua than chu, tit do doan biet
trying cu a th a n ch u cu n g d u gc phan nao tam trang cua than
the hi^n m u’c d o h o a nh£p chii. Toi da trite tiep thay khi than chii
cua n h a th a m va n . T h u ’c te phdng ve, e de thi cau ta xoay but rat
cho th a y v ie c n h a th a m nhieu, rung chan va ngoi sat mep ghe,
va n h o a n h ip v d i to e dQ ld i ngU&i thu lai. Khi buoi tham van tien
noi v a giQ ng n o i cu a th a n hanh d u gc mot liic cau ta trd nen
chu, n h u 1 k h i th a n ch u n o i thoai mdi hon, ngoi nga ra phia sau
n h an h , n h a th a m v a n d ap mot chut, khdng cdn rung chan nita,
u ng n h a n h , co n k h i th a n tay tha long hon. NgUcfi lam tham
chu dang buon va noi van tinh y se biet d u g c cach thitc minh
ch$m th i nha th a m van tien hanh cd tac dong the nao den than
chii. (HTH, K49, 2007).
cu n g nen noi ch a m ch o
th a y co a n h h u ’d n g ra t ld n
k h i n h a th a m v a n b a y to stf th a u h ieu . T h o n g th tfd n g n gtfdi hQC
khi b a t d au lu y e n ki n a n g th a u h ieu , hQ t£p tr u n g v a o "co n g
thu’c" de n o i sa o ch o d u n g , m a k h o n g de y d en stf h o a n h jp va o
giQng n o i h a y to e d<? n oi cu a m in h v d i th a n chu. V i v£y, cau n oi
cu a hQ du d u n g n h tfn g k h i n g h e th a n ch u va n k h o n g co ca m g ia c
dtfQc th a u h ie u , dtfQc v a i di noi lo n g . D ieu n a y la do to e d<? va
giQ ng n o i cu a n gtfd i hQC k h o n g b at n h ip dtfQc v d i ta m tra n g cu a
th a n ch u.
V ie c h o a n h ip tro n g m tfc d<? tiep x u c th ich hQp b a n g m at cho
th a y rat q u a n trQng v a d em lai hieu qua rat ro ran g tro n g k h i tro
ch u y e n v d i th a n ch u. V i m oi th an chu co mQt m u’c dQ tiep xuc
b a n g m at k h a c n h au . D ieu n ay p h y thuQC vao van h oa, th o i quen,
280 Giao trinh T h a m van tam If

m u’c dp tu1 d an h g ia b a n th an . K h on g it th a n ch u ca m th a y thoai

m ai h o n n eu n h a th a m van tran h s y tiep x u c b a n g m at m ot cach
q u a tr y c d ien , ho£c n goi gan h o n h a y xa h o n m ot ch ut. N ha tham
va n p h a i q u a n sat tru d c de gift dtfpc k h o a n g cach ch o than chu
cam th a y an toan .
- S it d u n g cau tra. l&i toi thieu
K hi n h a th a m va n chu y n gh e nhi'eu h o n la noi, thi viec sir
d u n g cau tra ld i to i th ie u t y no se dien ra. N h a th a m va n s y dyng
cau tra ld i to i th ie u nhu1: gat dau, h o a c n h im g tie n g "a ha", "phai1,
"d u g c ", "dieu do d u n g ", "it", "a", h a y co th e dai h o n "vang, tdi
hieu ", "tdi d a n g n g h e an h noi", "tiep tu c di"... Di'eu n a y lam cho
th a n ch ii cam th a y m in h d an g dtfpc chu y, d u p e q u an tam , vi vay
ho m u o n n oi n h ieu h o n , ho sp noi b o sot, noi k h o n g het se lam
cho n h a th a m v a n k h o n g h ieu hp.
De gift dirpc s y kh ach quan trong cau ch uyen ciia than chu, nha
th am van kh o n g nen b p c lp qua lp lieu s y tan thirdng h a y khong tan
thirdng (thai dp) ciia m inh. V i du: "01”, "cha", "that kinh khiing"...
N him g cau tra ld i tdi thieu m an h m e co the lam cho th an chii phan
doan ve thai dp cua n ha th am van. Tir do co the ngan can, chuyen
cam xu c h o a c b op m eo th ong tin tir phia th an chii do sp kh on g dirpc
s y tan thirdng cua nha th am van. C au tra ld i tdi th ieu th y c chat chi
la ghi nh£n viec th an chu dang dirpc lan g nghe, vi v a y nha tham van
can sir d ung h p p li cac cau tra ldi toi thieu. N eu sir d yn g qua nhieu,
thirdng xu yen se gay xao lang, hoac trd th an h xam pham m oi quan
he th an chii trpn g tam .
- N han m anh

K hi la n g n gh e, n h a th a m van co th e n h an m a n h di'eu th an chii

noi b a n g cach n h a c lai nhirng tir ch ot, ho£c sti d y n g cac b ieu hi?n
ciia h a n h vi p h i n g o n ngir, nhir: gat dau, dirdn m at, stf dyng
cirdng dp, n h ip dp gip n g noi v.v... n h a m g iu p cho th a n chii tang
cu d n g v a liTu y nhirng th o n g tin vira noi. N h an m an h th irdn g dirpc
sir d u n g n h tf m p t k i n a n g p h an h oi kh i th am van.

Stf n han m an h ciia nha tham van chi nham m u c dich khuyen
kh ich th an chii tiep ty c cau chuyen ciia m inh va the hien stf im g hp,
stf nhiet tinh tro n g dam thoai cua nha tham van v'e van de dtfpc noi
C H l/ O N G 6: Ki nan g th a m van tam li 281

den, m a kh on g co y ggfi y h ay dan dat than chu theo cach nhin cua
nha th am van.

- S it d u n g s it p h a n hoi

M u c d ich cu a p h an h oi la cho th an chu th a y n ha th a m van

hieu th a n chu da cam th a y nhu1 th e n ao ve dieu hp noi, q u a do
giup th an chu d an h gia va kiem che xu c cam cu a h(?.

S. N iren b erg (1987) cho rang: V iec nha th am van lang nghe
khien than chu cam th a y dtfQc an tfi, chia se va anh ta co the dtfQc su1
chu y lan g nghe cua n ha tham van “vu ot ve ninh bgc" nhutig lat sau
anh ta co the b y e tu t neu nha tham van kh on g cho lai anh ta thtf gi.
Dieu n ay co nghia la, neu nha tham van chi biet nghe (khai thac) tat
ca nhtfng tin ttfc htfu ich ttf than chu va kh ong co mQt stf phan anh
gi ca, than chu co the se cam th ay nhir m inh bi lQi dung. K i nang
lang n ghe doi hoi n ha th am van phai cho th an chu b iet mQt cach
thtfefag xu yen xem nha th am van nhin nhan van de ctfa than chtf
nhu* the nao th eo cac th o n g tin m a than chu cung cap. V i v a y nha
tham van can p h an anh lai nhtfng gi m inh cam n han cu n g nhtf than
chu cam nhan de th an chu co kh oang thcri gian yen lan g de xem xet
nhtfng gi m in h noi ra. L in g nghe tich ctfc con the hien Q viec nha
tham van d an g quan tam to i rnpi dung va chi tiet cau chuyen cua
than chu, b ieu h ien qua ki nang dat cau hoi. V ie c dat cau hoi di
trung vao v a n de cu a th an chtf va phan anh lai ro rang chinh xac
cam xu c cu n g nhtf n<?i dung van de cua than chtf cung the hien mQt
stf lin g n gh e tich ctfc, chu dQng. Phan anh cung giup than chtf y thtfc
ve stf h ien htfu cac v a n de tron g b an than m inh mQt cach tot hon.

N h a th a m va n co the stf dung phan anh nhtf sau: “D it& n g n hit

ban dan g cam th a y ...” , h a y “ CCt n h it dieu ban m o ta thi ai trong
tinh canh nay cun g cam thay nao lo n g ”, h a y “Ban lo lang khi thay
con m inh say s it a v&i cd c trd cho’i dien tit ho'n la h o c” .

- L itu y d ieu th ieu so t

Bang cach lang nghe tich ctfc, n ha t h a m van n h a n ra dtfQc

tr o n g cau chuyen cua th a n chu co nhtfng th ong tin m a p md,
282 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

chira d a y du; n h tfn g th o n g tin b j m au th u a n ; n hirn g y n g h i tiem

an. H o § c d o co th e la n h tfn g k h o a n g n g im g tr o n g cau n o i, nhung
ch o th ie u lo g ic tr o n g cau ch u y en , stf thcf d ai, n o i l$c ch ii d'e, tir
th e b o n ch o n , ctfa ngtfofi lien ty c h a y n h tfn g dQng ta c thira trong
k h i tro ch u y e n vcfi n h a th a m van . N h tfn g th ie u sot tro n g thong
tin co n dtfQc n h a n b ie t q u a cac ccf ch e p h o n g v e m a th a n chu sir
d y n g mQt ca ch v o th u ’c k h i co lo au, ca n g th a n g .

B an g cach n h e n h a n g va k h o n g dtfcfng dQt, n h a th a m van liru

y th a n ch u nhtfng dau h ieu cu a stf th ieu sot nay. D a y la nhirng
th o n g tin htfu ich g iu p cho n h a th a m va n va d$c b ie t la than chu
san g to, th a u h ieu va n de thtfc te cua m inh.

- Tom tat, tom Iwpc

M y c d ich cua tom tat la dtfa toan b(j phan cau chuyen cua
than chu vao mQt trQng tam, q u a do de tao da thao lu$n nhirng
khia canh khac cua van d'e. D e tom tat, nha tham van co the noi:
“N h tin g y ch in h m a ban da neu ra la ...” , hay “N e u tdi hieu khong
sa i thi ba.n n h in n h a n van d e nay la ....” .

Khi n ha th a m van tich ctfc lan g nghe th an chii, b an g trtfc giac,

nha th am van phai tom tat, gom lai nhtfng d iem chinh trong noi
d ung cau ch u yen cua than chii va cu ng la de k iem lai nhtfng cam xuc
m a than chu da m o ta. D ay chi la stf nh at n h an h lai nhtfng diem noi
b at nhat, h o a c q u an trQng nhat tron g m oi doan ciia cau chuyen ma
th an chu noi ra. T h o n g thtfdng khi th an chu d an g roi bdi cac cam
xuc, co the hQ bi lan l(m cac chi tiet kh ach q u an vd i cam nghi, kinh
nghiem chu q u an cua m inh. Stf tom tat lam san g to di'eu than chu
noi va dat th o n g tin vao trinh ttf cua no de th an chii co mQt hinh anh
ro ret va tap tru n g chu y tot hQn, n h d th e th an chii co ccf hQi tim giai
phap cho cac van d'e ciia m inh.

3. Luyen ki nang lang nghe

De luyen kh a nang lang nghe, ngtfefi hQC phai thtfc hien mQt trinh
ttf lang nghe bao gom cac thao tac sau:
 C H LfO N G 6: KT nang th a m van ta m If | 283

l. N h a th am van d£t cau hoi m d de than chu b at dau cau chuyen

cua m inh. D ay cung la viec khai thac thong tin de lam sang to van de
cua than chu. N eu than chu l$c
Khi bat dau ca tham van, than
sang chu d'e kh ac kh on g quan
chu keu chan vd buon nhieu. Neu
trQng co the phan hoi de hu’dng
khong duac hoc ve tham van,
than chu q u a y l^i chu d'e chinh.
chac toi dd cho than chu nhung
Dieu n ay t^io cho th an chu cam
l&i khuyen hay rao giang li
giac la n ha th am van dang t§p
thuyet nao do ve cach vitcft qua.
trung nghe th an chu, dang co
Nhung toi dd co gang lang nghe
gang hieu th an chu, van d'e cua
vd chap nhan than chu. Vi the toi
than chu la quan trQng vd i nha
dd giup cd dy tu kham pha n$i
tham van. C o th e d'e nghi than
tam cua minh. Qua ca nay tdi rut
chu giai th ich th em neu n ha tham
ducfc them bdi hoc ve sit lang
van chira hieu cho n ao do. T u y
nghe tich citc, khdng xet doan,
nhien im l£ng lan g nghe van la
phe phan vd khong de'quan diem
quan trQng nhat.
cd nhan xen vao ca tham van.
1. N h a th a m va n b a y to s y
Neu khdng tdi da that bai ngay
khich le b a n g ca c b ie u cam phi
tit buoi dau vd khdng the giup
ngon ngir v a doi k h i d ien giai
du oc gi cho than chu.
dieu th a n ch u ch ia se de d u y tri
(HTH, K4 9 , 200 7 )
s y tiep ty c ch ia se n h ieu h o n cua
than chu.
2. N h a th a m v a n sir d y n g p h an h o i de cho th a n chii th a y n ha
th am v a n h ieu cau ch u y en cua th a n chu ra sao, h o a c noi ld i th au
hieu va o ca m x u c ciia th a n chu va kem cau h oi de la m ro cam xu c
h ay h a n h vi cu a th a n ch u (n eu can).
3. N h a th a m va n sir d u n g to m liTQc. K hi to m liTQc, n h a th am
van can luU y tra n h d'e cap den p h an irng ca n h an cu a m in h , tran h
bin h lu § n , ch o ld i k h u y e n h a y phan xet cau ch u y en cu a th a n chu.
C ac tieu ho^t dQng n a y co anh hirdng td i n h au v a dirQc n h a th a m
van d ieu ch in h ch iin g ch o phu hQp vd i n h u cau ciia k h a ch h ang.
V a k h o n g p h ai lu c n ao n ha th a m van cu n g q u a b o n b y d c n h iT \ % .
V i d y v e trin h t y n h a th a m van sir d y n g ki n a n g la n g nghe:
284 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- C h u n g ta se b a t d a u tit m e em . M e em la n g itcfi n h it the

n ao?...

- D ieu g i la m em h a i Idng n h a t ve m e m in h (K h ich le - kham

p h a n htfng s y k ien , y tirdng, k h u yen k h ich tie p ty c noi)...

- V ay la k h i n ao em lam cho m e v u i em cu n g th a y m inh vui

va em cho ra n g co le m e em se to t h a n n eu em d o d a i hoc (Dien
g iai - th a n ch u h ieu la da d u a c la n g n g h e to t)...

- Co ve n h it em la n g itd i d ieu chin h tinh ca m g iita b o v a

em , v iec t n t d t d a i h o c da lam em kho tam va no keo theo nhitng
s it ch i trich cu a bo ddi v&i m e, cdn m e em ch i biet khoe cau citu
bo... (P h an h o i ca m x u c - dan dat th an chu t£p tru n g kham pha
cam xuc).

- H o a c noi cau th au h ieu d o n gia n de th a n ch u vcfi di noi

lon g: "E m ca m th a y kho tam va m u o n bo n ha ra d i k h i thi tnttft
d a i hoc, n h ieu n g it& i r a i va o ho a n ca n h ciia em h o cu n g co tam
tra n g n h it vay. S a u s it k ien nay, d ieu q u a n tro n g em nhan ra
d itcfc la k h d n g nen lam cho bo' m e vi m in h m d g ia n nhau. Chi
n h itn g n g itd i con cd h ieu v& i cha m e n h it em m & i nhan biet
d it d c n h it vay ".

- S a u ta t cd n h itn g g i em chia se, ch i cd the hieu cau chuyen

ciia em ... (T o m lu p c - n h a th a m va n n h a n m a n h nhirng y chinh
tro n g cau ch u y e n cu a th a n chu th eo mQt tra t t y ciia cau chuyen,
g iu p th a n ch u v a n h a th a m va n la m ro v a n de ch in h ).

L an g n g h e tr o n g th a m v a n th y c ch at la mQt n gh e thuat -
N g h e th u a t la n g n gh e. KI n a n g la n g n gh e tro n g th a m v a n diTQc coi
la mQt tr o n g n hirn g ki n a n g q u an trQng b a c n h at, cQ b an nhat, no
dUQc coi la b i q u y et d an tcfi th a n h co n g tro n g th a m van . Ling
n gh e tich eye la mQt h o a t dQng rat kh o, vi xu hirdn g ciia con
n g u d i la k h i n g h e lu o n doi ch ieu vd i h ieu b ie t ciia m in h . lu on lay
k in h n g h ie m ciia m in h la m th u d c do cho mQi v a n d'e (n g a y ca khi
hQ k h o n g n o i), v i v a y n g u d i ta th u d n g "n gh e" m a k h o n g "th ay".
( H l f O N G 6: Ki nan g t h a m van tam If 285

II. KI N AN G DAT CAU H 6 l

1. K hdi ni$m dat cau hoi

Hoi la cach thu'c trong do ngtfdi hoi m uon khai thac thong tin tir
ngtfdi dtfQc hoi, nham m y c dich nao do. Hoi trong tham van khong
chi khai th ac nhirng thong tin be noi co lien quan den sy" kien cua
than chu, m a qua do lam toat len nhung thong tin du'Q'c an chira dang
sau s y ki^n do. U”u the cua k i nang nay trong tham van la kh on g chi
lam cho than chu noi ra nhirng dieu m inh biet m a con kh ien cho than
chu noi ra ca nhirng dieu da bj quen trong qua khir.

T h e o E .D . N e u k r u g , ca c cau h o i la c o n g c y de t£p hQp

th o n g tin cu a n h a th a m v a n , n h im g de dira ra dtfQc c a c cau h oi
co h ie u q u a , n h a th a m v a n p h a i tra ld i d yQ c ca c ca u h o i: C au
hoi se d e m l^i m y c d ich g i? K h i n a o n en d § t ca u h o i? C au h o i
the h i? n b a n g ca c h n a o th i to t hQ n? T$o sa o la i p h a i d u a ra cau
hoi? Sir d y n g cau h o i n g a n h a y d a i? ... Stf d y n g to t ki n a n g h o i,
nha th a m v a n se th u c d a y th a n ch u d a n h g ia n h irn g h a n h vi,
su y n g h i, ca m g ia c n a o la co h ie u q u a tr o n g v ie c hQ nh$n dtfQc
dieu gi hQ m u o n th o n g q u a k h a m p h a n h tfn g m a u h in h h a n h vi
tron g q u a k h ir c u a th a n ch u , p h a t h ie n n h tfn g v a n de ch tfa dtfQc
bQC 1q, k h u y e n k h ic h k h a n a n g th a y d o i v a ttf b<?c 1q mQt ca ch
sau sa c d th a n ch u .

2. Cac loai cau hoi

Co rat n h ieu cach h oi k h a c nhau. M oi n ha th a m va n d y a vao

kinh n g h iem cu a m in h cd the v£n d y n g v a san g tao cac kieu hoi
khac n h au ch o m in h , tat ca deu nham m y c dich lam san g to van de
can h oi. Cd th e ke ra cac d^ng h oi dtfQc n h ac tdi n h ieu hQn ca:

- Cau hoi dong, cau hoi md - Cau hoi kep

- Cau hoi tryc tiep va gian tiep - Cau hoi lya chon
- Cau hoi tim thong tin chung - Cau hoi htfdng ve m yc dich
- Cau hoi nang cao hieu biet - Cau hoi dat dan
- Cau hoi vong vo - Cau hoi ve phep 1^
286 Giao trinh T h a m van tam ti

- Cau hoi lam ro nhan thiic, - Cau hoi theo thang diem
xuc cam va hanh vi. . hoi phong dai ket qua
- Cau hoi phan hoi _ QaU hoi co ldi canh bao
- Cau hoi chuyen tiep . Cau hoi ngoai 1?

Cd th e co n ke ra diTtfc n h ieu k ieu d at cau h oi ntfa, tu y nhien

ch u n g to i cu n g d o n g y v d i n h an xet cu a Iv e y (19 8 0 ) v a Benjam in
(19 8 7) r in g : B at k e m y c d ich gi thi ca c d an g cau h o i cuoi cung
cu n g co th e ch i la cau h o i d on g h o a c m d; tr y c tiep h a y gian tiep.

- Cau h o i d o n g la nhirng cau h oi dira d en cau tra ldi cy the,

dcfn gian , ngan : “ cd ” h o a c “k h o n g ” v a th ird n g b a t dau vd i nhirng
tir “d a ”, “co th e” , “se ” , “cd p h a i” ... C au h o i d o n g g id i h an cach tra
ld i cu a th a n chu. L oai cau h oi cd phUQng an tra ld i “c o ”- “khong”
n a y da dirgfc n h a th a m van d y d oan tru d c, vi phUQng an tra ldi da
n am tro n g cau h o i do vd i y k h a n g d in h h a y p h u d jn h mQt van de
n ao do m a n h a th a m van m u on b iet, va nd n h a m de kiem tra
th o n g tin hQn la p h a t h ien th o n g tin. C au h o i d o n g k h o n g phai la
cau h o i gQi m d nen nd cu n g cap th o n g tin rat it ch o n g u d i hoi. Co
th e m in h hQa ve n h u tig cau h o i d on g d u d i day:

+ Chi cd titc anh ay khi anh ay hay coi thit&ng chj? - Co

+ Chi cd cong viec on djnh khong? -C o
+ Chf cd hay di le nhd th& khdng? -C o
+ Chf co hay lit a doi anh ay khong? - Co, a khong
+ A nh dy cd hay trd chuyen v&i chf khong? - Khong
+ A nh di bang xe may den day a? ~Khong
+ A nh co kho chiu khi bi chat van khdng? ' Khong, a cd!

Khi n h a th a m va n h oi th eo d an g d on g thi du it h a y nhieu than

chu cu n g b j dan d at b d i n h an thirc, th ai dQ cua nha th am van. Do
do can p h ai h an ch e to i da loai cau hoi don g vi cd th e ket qua cho
kh d n g k h a ch q uan , nd ch ay th eo loi su y luan ciia nha th a m van ma
kh d n g th eo lo g ic s u viec h a y logic ciia than chii. D oi kh i nd con gay
kh o chiu, p h an cam cho n gudi dUQc hoi. T u y n h ien nd cd ich khi
n ha th a m va n can k h a n g dinh mQt th on g tin cy th e n ao dd.
C H l f O N G 6: Ki nang th a m van tam If 287

- C a u h o i m & n h in ch ung
Khi xem xet lai ca tham van toi
dtfQc d an h gia cao h a n n h ieu so nhan thay & nua dau cua buoi
vcri cau h o i d on g. C au h oi m d doi trd chuyen v&i than chu cdc cau
hoi th a n ch u tra ld i th eo nhieu hoi cua tdi kha on, nd tap trung
cach k h a c n h au , m a k h o n g chi la xoay quanh van de cua than chu.
"co" h a y "k h o n g ". C au hoi m d Nhirng cang ve cuoi buoi tham
kh u yen k h ich th a n ch u noi ve van, khi tdi da duac nghe than
m inh n h ieu h o n v d i stf da d$ng chu chia se nhieu thong tin han
ve tu" ngtf va cach m o ta. D ieu n a y thi tdi thay cdc cau hoi tdi dat ra
cho p h ep th a n ch u b a y to nhtfng mang tinh phdng doan chu quan.
Nhung khi dang tham van tdi
cam x u c h a y su y n g h i cua m in h
khdng he cam nhan duac thuc te
ve va n de d an g x a y ra. C au hoi
nay. (CTL, *£49,2007)
m d cho p h ep n h a th a m va n kh ai
thac v a n de d m tfc d<? sau hern v a cu n g t$o d ieu k i? n ch o n h a th am
van giu p th a n chu di sau va o cac tin h h u o n g cu a n an de. C au hoi
m d rat p h u hQp v d i giai do$n tim h ieu va n de v a Itfa chQn giai
phap h a n h dQng.

C au h o i m d th tfd n g b a t dau vd i cac ttf “the n a o ”, “k h i n a o ”,

“cai g i”, “a i”... v a th tfd n g d^t dtfQc nhtfng cau tra ld i m ieu ta. Khi
tra ldi cac cau h o i m d , stf k i?n va cam x u c cu a th a n chu th tfdng
dtfQc b a y to. D ieu n a y giu p cho n ha th a m v a n n hin va n de cua
than chu k h a ch q u a n hQn, tran h cho n ha th a m va n h tfd n g va n de
theo q u a n d ie m cu a m in h v a rat de d an d at th a n chu th eo q u an
diem do. D e b a o d am tin h k h a ch quan tro n g vi£c giu p d d th an
chu, n h a th a m v a n p h a i chu yeu stf d y n g cau h o i de gQi m d van
de, d o n g th d i de th a n chu dien d$t va n de cu a m in h mQt cach ttf
nhien n h a t. V i d y v e ca c cau h oi m d:
+ C h i n g h i n hir the n ao ve con g v iec cu a m in h ?
+ C h j ca m th a y nhir the nao k h i chon g m in h lira ddi m in h ?
+ X e t ve k h ia ca n h ch ia se tam tinh, vq 1 a n h la n g ir d i nhir
the n a o ?
+ C h i ca m th a y n h u the nao k h i chon g chf hay ch a t v a n ?
+ D i le n ha th d co y n ghia g i v&i ch j?
288 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

C au h o i trite tiep - gian tiep. B en jam in (198 7) liru y rang mQt

cau h oi se d em lai cuqc tro chuyen cdi m d h o n neu no dtfQc hoi
m pt cach gian tiep. N h a th am van co the hoi th eo cach gian tiep
nhu*: “C h a c on g p h a i co rat n hieu cam x u c lien quan den v iec bo di
cua vQ o n g ? ”, th a y vi hoi trtfc tiep co the dan tdi th ieu te nhi, nhtf:
“K h i vcr on g bo d i cam x u c nao n g u ch e trong con n g u & i o n g ?”,
h o ac “C h a c on g da titc gian lam k h i v p ong bo ong ra d i? ”. Cung
nhtf vay, th a y vi hoi: “ O ng da. x it su" the nao kien v p on g bo di?',
nha th a m van co the hoi: “D ieu gi khien vQ ong bd d i?” .

- C a u h o i t i m t h o n g t i n c h u n g th tfd n g la n h tfn g thong

tin m a o d'au cu a cuqc gap g d d'au tien . N o g iu p de d a n g khoi
th o n g cau ch u y e n . T h o n g tin ch u n g g iu p ch o n h a th a m van co
cai n h in b a n d'au v'e th a n ch u. T u y n h ien n eu n h a th a m v a n sa da
v a o n h tfn g cau h o i ch u n g , b u o i th a m v a n se trcf th a n h m o t cau
ch u y ? n p h ie m , th ie u m y c d ich va cd th e th a n ch u k h o n g cdn la
tro n g ta m cu a cu o c th a m van . N h tfn g cau h o i m a n g th o n g tin
ch u n g th tfd n g la:
+ S a u Fan d a n h n ha u v a d a u v&i bon con tr a i vi tra n h nhau
q u a b o n g , m e ch j d a x it li ch u y e n d i d a b o n g cu a c h j n h u the
nao?
+ Co d a n g tu & n g tu a n g canh cha u ch u i x u o n g g a m ban hai
Tan trong m o t bu o i h o c khi giao vien & trung tam n g o a i n g it di
kiem tra the d on g tien hoc p h i, luc do mQi n g u & i trong l&p nghi
cha u n h u the n a o ?

+ Co n g h i d ieu n ha y H ip H o p th u & n g d a n h ch o nam gi&i, the

d ieu g i k h ien ch a u sa y m e hoc d ieu n ha y n a y ?

- C a u h o i h u & n g v e m u c d i c h th tfd n g k h u y e n kh ich than

ch u tim k ie m cac g ia i p h ap de cai th ien thtfc tran g . K ieu cau hoi
n a y b u o c th a n ch u p h a i ttf d u y cu the, trtfc tiep va o va n d'e, giup
th an ch u n h in v a n d'e cu a m in h ro ran g hdn. V i d y nhtf:

+ S a u v ie c h ieu Tam nay ch i djn h g id i q u y e t n h u the n a o ?

+ T om la i a n h m uon ch i x it sU v&i anh n h u the n a o ?
C H U O N G 6: Ki nang th a m van tam If 289

+ M u c dich cua em la gi khi em noi la m uon lam ro trang den

mQi ch u y en ?
- Cau hoi ve nhqtn thu'c, xuc cam vd hanh vi lam ro
tr^ng th ai tam 11 cu a th an chu h o a c ngtfdi k h a c co lien q u an tori
nan d'e cu a th a n chu. K ieu th u th ap th o n g tin th eo h tfd n g n a y se
giup th a n ch u y th u ’c ve b an th an v a stf trai n g h iem ta m li ro ran g
hern. T h o n g th tfd n g cac cau h oi ve nhan thu’c, x u c cam v a h a n h vi
th ifdng la trtfc di£n va ro rang. V i d y nhtf:
+ C h i ca m thay the nao k h i chau da nhan ra sa i Tam cua
m inh?
+ A n h d a n h g id nhu: the nao ve han h vi d a p p h a m o t cach
gian d a cu a ch a u ?
+ C h i se d ieu h a n h c a q u a n n h it the nao k h i ca p d it& i cu a chi
luon co th d i d o p h a n itn g tn t& c cd c q u y et din h cu a ch i?
- Cau hoi ph an hoi la lo a i cau h o i k h u y e n k h ic h th a n chu y
thu’c to t horn ve va n de hQ vira trin h b ay, no g iu p ch o n h a th am
van v a th a n ch u xem x et stf ki£n n ay tro n g m oi q u an h ? vcri cac stf
ki?n k h a c mQt cach k h a ch quan . N h a th a m v a n co th e hoi:
+ K h i b ie t a n h ch f da ly than tit n hieu th a n g n a y , cdn con chi
da bo a n h ch i d i b u i d&i, m e ch j se n h it the n ao ?
+ T heo ch a u k e th i m e chau han g than g da co g a n g chu cap
tien an h o c cho ch a u , cdn cha u thi bj diip vd bo nhd ra di, chau
n g h i n h it the n ao ve s it v iec n a y ?
- Cau hoi dan dat la m ot dang cua cau hoi dong co stf gdi y cau
tra ldi tron g do. V i d y, “ Tdi khdng ng& chi ta lai x it s it tdi te n h it vay
v&i con m inh, anh thay the nao ve chi ay?” ; hoac: “M o i viec n h it vay
la tot lam roi, chj cdn p h a n nan dieu gi n it a khong?” . N ha th am van
cung k h o n g nen dtfa ra cau hoi rdi dtfa luon cac cau tra ldi nhieu Itfa
:hon. D ieu n ay ngan can than chu nghien ciru ki cac kh a nang: “Ban
2dm thay the nao ve dieu do - buon, vui, gian d ii...?” .
- Cau hoi lita chQn h tfd ng th a n chu d en m ot stf m ach lac
tro n g ttf d uy; so san h . can n h ic van d'e cd Itfa ch on h o a c th e n ay
h o a c th e kia. D ieu n a y giiip th an chu y thirc dtfQc dieu n ao la quan
tro n g hem ch o m in h v a th a n chu chju trach n h i?m v e stf Itfa ch on
cac giai p h a p h a n h d o n g ciia m inh.
290 j Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

+ N e u ch o n g em va n tiep tuc d a n h h a i m ? con em thi em se

lam g i?
+ N e u bo m e em li hon em se & v d i bo h a y v& i m e ?
+ B an s e x i t su" the nao khi d itn g g iita mQt ben la tinh mQt ben
la hieu?
- C a u h o i c a n h b a o v e s i t n h p y c a m . V d i n h u n g tinh
h u o n g n h a y cam , n h a th a m van kh i d at cau h oi can co ldi canh
b ao v a g ia i th ic h trtfd c ve m y c dich cu a vi§ c h oi. V i d y:
+ T d i se h o i ban m Q t ca u hd i m a n g tin h r ien g t i t , nhitng
th o n g tin m a ba n ch ia se se g iu p ch u n g ta la m ro v e m di quan
he h ien n a y cu a ban v& i cd H . B a n da cd q u a n h ? tin h d u e v&i
/\ A/ r |
co a y ?
+ B a n x in hd i ban m Q t cau hdi cd ch u t n h g y ca m . Tdi dang
co' g a n g h ieu nan d e cu a ban theo ca ch n g h i cu a ban. Vi vay toi
can b iet cd c ban da lam g i toi hdm x a y ra s it vi$c.
+ B a n k h d n g p h ie n long n eu tdi hdi ban v e m ite ch i tieu cua
gia d in h ?
- C a u h d i v d n g v o k h o n g g a y cam g ia c ttf v£ d th an chu.
N h a th a m v a n co th e sir d y n g “ngirdi thir b a ” de la m ro nhung
th o n g tin , n h u n g th a i do, cam n g h i cu a th a n ch u v e va n de cua
“n g u d i k h a c ” . T re n th y c te th a n chu d an g tra i n g h iem v a n de cua
m inh.
- Cd d an g cd m ot van de kho khan can nh& chau giup. Cd co
mQt n git& i ban nhd c d tuoi ciia chau, khdng hieu cd chu y en gi ma
m ay hdm nay ban ay khdng chiu di hoc, bd cd an uong. Cd rat
m uon giiip ban ay n h itn g khdng biet p h a i lam gi. Theo chau, dieu
gi cd the xa y ra v&i ban ay ?
+ T heo em , m e se lam gi k h i b iet em th it& n g hay d a n h em
tra i em ?
+ Cd c h it a m it d n g t it & n g d it& c la bo em se p h a n itn g nhii
the nao k h i b iet ch i em dd g ia u bo ve m o t s d ch u y e n cu a em d
tr ir d n g ?
Khi tra ld i x o a y q u an h cac m oi lien h? th an chu th u d n g b a y to
quan ni£m, thai do cua m inh. V e ban chat, cau hoi nha th am van
d ang hoi la ve ch in h cac va n de cua than chu. Kieu hoi v o n g vo. hoi
C H U O N G 6: Ki nang tham van tam If 291

xoay quanh nay rat phu hop trong tham van tre em va thanh thieu
nien, hoi cho nhim g ngudi co hQe van thap, hoac nhimg ngtfdi co
kha nang dtfQng dau han che.
- C a u h d i c h u y e n t i e p g iu p cho th an chu lien th o n g m ach
ttf duy, cdn n h a th a m van tap tru n g vao nhtfng v a n de h ien htfu
cua th a n ch u v a tra n h cho n ha th am van di la c va n de h o a c kh ai
th ac th o n g tin th eo y cu a n ha th am van . C au h oi ch u yen tiep
kh u yen k h ich th a n chu tich ctfc trd ch u yen , no k h o n g nhtfng
"ngat" dtfpc stf la c m ach cua th an chu m a con g iu p ch u y en tiep
van de mQt cach lin h hoat.
+ L u c trit& c an h co n o i ve vi$c m ? an h khd n g h a i Idng v& i VQf
anh, th e v Q a n h n g h i g i ve ch u y en n a y ?
+ Nhu" vay la an h da chu y en ccf q ua n h a i Tan, ca h a i Tan do
anh deu ca m thay k h o n g h a i Idng v&i ngW&i trti& n g p h d n g , cdn
Tan ch u y en n a y a n h la i n o i "tranh vd dwa g a p vd d ita ", vgy y
anh la g i?
+ L a n trit& c a n h cd n o i rang anh khd n g the ch a p n han vi$c
trong g ia d in h da cd ba n g it& i p h u nu: m d v& an h van n u o i m Q t
O shin, vay ba y gi& a n h ca m thay the nao ve vi$c n a y ?
- C a u h d i n g o y i I£ g iu p th an chu ttf d u y k h o n g th eo k h u o n
m au co d jn h , m a n h in n h an va n de th eo k h ia can h k h a c cu a mQt
hanh vi xau . C au h o i h tfd n g th an chu td i h a n h v i n goai 1? giu p
than ch u k ie m so a t to t b a n th an . C au h o i n go ai 1? ch i n en stf d y n g
khi n h a th a m v a n co h ieu b iet to t ve th a n ch u, n am to t nhtfng
han h vi g a y h a n ch e stf th a y d oi d th an ch u. C au h o i n go ai 1?
th tfd n g b a t d au ttf m £nh de "Co bao gi&", "Cd k h i n ao", "Li$u cd
t h e V i d y:
+ Cd khi nao chong chi nau an cdn chf n ghi ngcfi hoac xem ti vi?
+ Lieu em cd th e n g itn g can nhan m oi khi chong em ve m u Q n ?
+ L a m ca ch n a o an h g iit dw&c binh tinh kh i sa y n t& u ?
- C a u h d i t u & n g tu q tn g thtfdng buQC than chu phai ttfdng
ttfQng, phai gia dinh. Chung giup cho than chu ttf duy sau hQn ve
nhtfng thir chtfa xav ra, giup bQC 1q nhtfng m ong m uon tham kin
va giiip th ay doi cach nhin. 6 mQt goc dQ nao do no giup than chu
chuan bj mQt tinh than s in sang cho nhtfng th y c te'se xay ra. Cau
hoi ttfdng ttfQng thtfdng bat dau vdi ttf "neu".-
292 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

+ N e u a n h n h a t d in h d di li hon thi ch j se x it li ch u y e n nay

th e n a o ?
+ N e u em d w a c ba d ieu u:6c, em se it& c n h itn g d ieu g i?
+ N e u n g a y do em khd n g nhan ld i y eu a n h ay thi cu o c song
ciia em se n h it the n a o ?
- C a u h d i k e p la cau hoi nha tham van dat ra cung mQt luc
vdi nhi'eu cau hoi. Hoi nhir vay than chu co cam giac bi chat van
don dap va no lam roi loan cam xuc hay roi loan thong tin vi than
chu khong biet phai dap tfng nhir the nao. T ron g tham van nen
luU y tranh su" d yn g loai cau hoi cung mQt luc dira nhi'eu y hoi vdi
nhi'eu phiTQng an tra ldi. D ay la mQt dang cau hoi kep.
+ B o em co d o n g y cho em bd h o c k h o n g ? Cdn m e em thi nhit
the n a o ? O n g ba n it a ?
+ B o ' em k h d n g h a i long ve v iec thin h th o a n g em bd nhd di
v&i ban, the cdn a n h ciia em vd ho h a n g n o i n g o a i ho n o i the'nao
ve ch u y en n a y ?
+ C hf ca m th a y th& i g ia n h o c & m t& c n g o a i n h it th e 'n a o ? No
cd lam cho ch j nh& nhd khd n g vd tai sa o ?
T rong khi dat cau hdi, nha tham van nen than trQng vdi c a u
h d i t a i s a o . Cau hoi tai sao la mQt cau hdi m d n hung no co ve
nhir buQC tQi va doi khi no am chi rang ngtfdi dtfQc hdi da hoac
dang lam di'eu gi do sai. Cau hoi tai sao cd the lam cho than chu
phai giai thich dai dong, kh on g ro rang va co the lam cho than
chu co cam giac tQi loi. Cau hdi tai sao co the dan dat tre den vi£c
tra ldi bang nhtfng cau tra ldi co suy tinh hQn la tap trun g vao
di'eu gi xay^ra ben trong lon g tre. N htfng cau tra ldi nay thtfdng
lien h£ den nhtfng stf ki?n h oac nhtfng van d'e ben ngoai tre,
khong lien he vd i nhtfng kinh nghiem ben trong cua tre, thieu di
nQi dung tinh cam , cac cau tra ldi thtfdng rai vao che loi hay bi?n
bach bd i vi cau hoi tai sao lam cho ngtfdi ta vo tinh ttf v<j.
Cac nha tham van deu cho rang: Neu mQt ngtfdi co the tra ldi
mQt cach trung thtfc cho cau hoi tai sao thi day co the la loai cau
hoi co hi£u qua nhat trong tham van. Tuy nhien kh on g phai luc
nao nha tham van cung gap cac than chu kh on g p h on g v?. Cau
hoi tai sao phu hQp hQn vdi nhtfng than chu co nhan thtfc tot ve
 C H U O N G 6: Ki nang tham van tam If 293

b an th an , th a n chu co kh a n an g th ach thu’c v d i nan d'e cua m inh

va m u o n giai q u y et no. T h an chu den vofi n ha th a m van la de tim
ra cau h o i tai sao, neu cac cau hoi yeu cau th an chu giai th ich qua
nhi'eu, co th e hQ se cau vi co cam g ia c bi ch at van. V a neu mQi viec
deu li g ia i d irge ro ran g ch ac hQ k h o n g can den sir tr g g iu p cua
nha th a m van .
Khi th an chu lan d'au tien den gap nha th am van, h g th u d n g
khong b iet b at d'au cau ch uyen cua hg tir dau: Cai gi noi trtfdc, cai
gi noi sau, cai gi nen noi, cai gi kh on g nen noi, cai n a y noi de lam
gi... D on g th d i h g cu n g ch ua co sy" hieu b iet ve n ha th am van va
cach lam v ie c cua n h a th am van, nen h g rat b d n g d kh i trin h b ay
van d'e cua m inh. L uc n a y nha th am van can phai dira ra nhirng cau
hoi m a hQ d i tra ld i, de h oa nhap vao cuqc tu* van. V i vay, cau hoi
phai d o n gian , de h ieu , lien quan den m y c dich kh ai th a c th o n g tin
cua nha th am van .
T ro n g trtfd n g hQp cau ch u yen cu a th an ch u bi xem la la c
hirdng tro n g cuqc th a m van , nha th am va n can gQi m d cau hdi de
than chu tap tru n g va o chu d'e. M at kh ac, n h a th a m va n cu n g
dirng b ao g id n eu n h im g cau hdi chi de th o a m an tin h to m d cua
m inh. V ie c n h a th a m va n dat nhi'eu cau hdi se b ien th a n chu
th anh n g u d i th u dQng. T h a n chu se chi tra ld i h a y noi kh i nha
tham va n hdi.
K a th ry n G e ld a rd & D avid G eld a rd lUu y ran g, k h i dat cau hoi
nha th a m v a n k h d n g th a n trQng thi p h u o n g h u d n g m a cuqc th am
van n h am td i cd th e b i chi phoi k ie m soat b d i n h u n g cau hdi m a
nha th a m v a n d u a ra, chir k h d n g phai th eo h u d n g do n a n g ltfc ciia
than chu d an dat. D ieu te hai h o n la neu n ha th a m va n neu qua
nhieu cau hdi, th a n ch u se n h an h ch on g h g c d u g c cach don d'au
cac cau hdi v a se ch d cac cau hoi tiep th eo th a y vi tu su y n g h i va
noi ra n h im g dieu m a th a n chu cho la q u an trQng. N h u th e cuqc
th am v a n se tr d th a n h cuqc ch at van v a th a n chii trd nen it cdi
m d h o n , it th o n g ca m h o n , va se tran h cac d'e tai g a y k h o chiu
nh ieu h o n .
C a c n h a th a m v a n tren th e gid i k h u yen ran g nen sir d y n g cau
hdi d im g mire v a de sen hdi. V i vay, tru d c kh i neu cau hdi cho
th a n ch ii n h a th a m va n nen ty" hdi: “N eu toi k h o n g b iet th o n g tin
294 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

nay thi co an h hw &ng d en q u a trinh g iu p than chu k h o n g ? ” 'Neu

cau tra ld i la “ k h d n g ” th i n h a th am va n k h o n g n en h oi. Benjam in
(19 8 7) dira ra mQt so gQi y cho n ha th a m v a n kh i d at cau hoi cho
th a n chu:
+ B a n co n h a n thu’c dw ac rang ban d an g hdi ngw&i k ha c?
+ B a n da. cdn n h a c can than khi m ong m uon d a t nhw ng cau
hdi cu t h e v a th it n g h iem cach s it dung ch u n g ?
+ B a n cd p h a n van lita chon d o i v&i vi$c d a t cau hd i?
+ B an nhay cam nhw the nao v&i n htfng cau hdi m a than chii
hdi ban cho du an h/chi ta hdi thang than hoac la khdng thang than?
+ Cau hdi ban djnh d at ra lieu cd lam cdn tr& cuoc noi chuyen?
T h eo ch u n g toi, kh i nha tham van dat cau hoi cho th an chu can
xac djnh tcfi m u’c co th e kh a nang lam bien doi cam xu c h a y lam roi
loan tam can cu a th an chu. C ac chuyen gia dao tao ve th am van cho
rang th at li tu d n g kh i tron g cuqc th am van, nha th a m van noi, hoi,
giai th ich kh o an g 20% , cdn lang nghe than chu k h o a n g 80% . Tuy
nhien thtfc te kh d n g de thtfc hien dtfQc, n g a y ca doi vd i nhtfng nha
th am va n lao lu yen tren the gidi. Thtfc te di'eu tra v'e thtfc h an h tham
van d V iet N a m q ua ket qua phan tich cac ca cu a ch u n g tdi deu cho
th ay ket qua ngtfQc lai: N ha tham van noi 80 % (tham chi hQn), cdn
th an chu noi 20% (2003, 2007).
C ach hdi p h u hQp nhat la di theo logic cua stf kien va ttf duy cua
th an chu. C h an g han, kh i cd nan d'e, nha th am van giu p th an chu mo
ta h ien tran g b in g cach dat cau hdi nhw th e 'n a o ? Sau dd yeu cau
p h a n tich, li g id i vi sao nhtf the? V a cuoi cu n g th an chu tra ldi cau
hdi no la g i? Van d e la gi?

3. L u y $ n k i n a n g d a t ca u h d i
KI nan g hdi kh dng chi d a n thuan la b iet cac cach dat cau hdi nhtf
cau hdi dong, m d, chat van; nhan biet cau hdi do n ham khai thac cam
xuc, n han thu’c, h a y h anh vi; biet dtfQc tfu nhtfQc diem cua tim g loai
cau hdi... Di'eu quan trQng la phai nhan biet n<?i d ung can hdi. Dieu
nay cd nghia la n ha th am van phai ton trQng trat ttf logic cua cac tinh
tiet cau chuyen; cac cam xu c h ay nhan thu’c hien dang ngtf tri trong
than chu. C ac cau hdi dat ra phai giup cho than chu nhin dtfQc van de
CH UO N G 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 295

nhir no dang ton tai. Khi cau hoi dira ra di theo logic va m oi quan tam
cua nha tham van thi du ki thuat hoi rat tot, than chu noi co nhi'eu,
nhim g lam xao trpn van de va tam can cua than chu la khong tranh
khoi. Di'eu nay co the lam than chu "quen quen", "nhd nhd" hay dao
lpn th ong tin, cam xuc. Hoi n h u the khong goi la than chu trong tam
trong kh ai th ac th ong tin. M ot trong nhim g m uc tieu dau tien cua
tham van la giup than chii nhin nhan dirpc nhim g cam xuc "tai day",
"ngay b ay gid" - cai dang ngtf tri trong long than chii can dtfpc "loi ra"
mot cach co ki thuat de than chu doi mat. De bieu thi Id nang hoi
chung toi xin phan tich hai vi d y sau:
V i d y 1: “N a m , 13 tuoi, hoc ldp 7. E m da bd hoc tit m ot tuan
nay. Su: viec la cach day m ot tuan, co giao chu nhiem p h a t hien ra
bj m at w o .o o o d . M o t vai ban trong ldp noi rang trong g id gidi
lao da nhin thay N a m d itn g canh tiii xach ciia co. M o t vai ban
khac noi la da nhin thay N a m an qua ngoai c h a sau buoi hoc hdm
do. Cd giao da ga p rieng N a m de hdi nhwng em n hat q u y et noi
minh bi oan. B a n be n ghi n g d em la ke an cap. D w ac biet la N am
da bj b d d an h m o t tran ddn n h it tit khi nha trWdng thong bao cho
gia dinh ve chuyen n a y ”. T ron g vai tro la ngtfofi giup dp thieu ki
nang, ch un g ta dtfa ra so cau hoi dong chtfa dung k i th uat co the la:
a. Co bao gid em bi nghi la lay tien ciia ngtfdi nao do chtfa?
b. Em co lay tien cua co giao khong?
c. Gitfa em va cac ban trong ldp co mau thuan gi khong?
d. Co giao chu nhi?m co tin em khong lay tien cua co khong?
e. Vi sao cac ban lai nghi ngd em an cap?
f. Trong gid giai lao horn xay ra mat cap, em co dtfng gan tui xach
cua co giao khong?
g. Tien an qua em lay d dau ra?
h. Tai sao bo em danh em?...
C h iin g ta cd th e p h a n tich cac cau hdi th ieu k y th u a t n h tf sau:
cau hdi th ir n h a t - cau a - de th a y dtfpc stf su y lu a n chu quan, doi
khi vd thirc d ien tien n h tf the nao tro n g d au nha th a m van , neu
nha th a m v a n d at ra n h im g cau h oi x u a t p h at tir su y n gh i chu
q u an ciia n h a th a m va n va cau h oi th ieu k i th u a t de kh ai th ac
th o n g tin ., cd th e p h a n tich cau hoi a nhtf sau:
296 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

C au h o i a: “ Co bao g id em bi n g h i la lay tien cu a a i do chita?

- C au tra ld i ch i co th e la "C hita", h o a c "R o i" vd i cac mu’c <!q
k h a c n h au . N e u th a n ch u tra ld i la “ C h ita bao g id ", n h a th am van
de su y lu a n tiep n h tf sau: “ Cd the N a m la n g itd i th a t th a ”, va suy
lu a n tiep — > “Cd the N a m khon g lien qua n den ch u y en mat
tien cu a cd ”, su y lu a n tiep ty c — > “Cd the N a m k h o n g lay tien cua
c o ” . L u c n a y n h a th a m va n cd th e dtfa ldi k h u yen , th eo cach
k h a n g dinh: “N a m ca n g id i thich cho mQi n g itd i hieu vi em
kh o n g lay tien cu a cd chu n h ie m ”

N htfng neu than chu tra ldi la “E m titn g bj n ghi n gd >\ nha tham
van cd th e su y lu an r in g “N a m cd the lien quan den chuyen mat
tien” cach n gh i n a y dan nha th am van den viec khai thac them
th on g tin tu' nhtfng stf kien khac, nhtf: L i do n ghi h o c? Tai sao co
tien an q u a ? T ai sao cdc ban khong n ghi n g itd i khac m a lai nghi
N a m ? N htfng cau hdi n ay cd the lam cho N am tra ldi lu n g tung vi bj
hdi n hieu va cd th e vd tinh N am bj xep vao dien "nghi van". V d i nha
th a m v a n d tfp c d ao tao , hQ se m o h in h h o a van de cu a N am de
th a y dtfdc v a n de trQng tam can hdi n htf sau:

V§n de cua than chu - Nam

T ru& ng th o n g b&o
c h u y e n m a t tien cho
gia dinh N am

V A N D& C U A N A M:
Bj c&c ban nghi ngfr
lay tien cua co gi£o

N eu n h a th a m van cd ki th u at hdi va hdi va o trQng tam van

de, nhtf: “E m ca m thay th e 'n a o ve viec cd g ia o va ca c ban nghi
CH U O N G 6: KI nang tham van tam If 297

em lay tie n ? " H ay ngircfi th am van co the hoi: “S it v ie c hdm do

d ien ra the n ao k e cho cd n g h e ? ”, th o n g tin th u d u p e se g iu p nha
th am van n h in v a n d'e cu a th an chu kh ach q u an h p n , sau sa c hpn .

C h u n g ta se p h an tich vi du 2: T h an chu (C h i H .) bi ch on g
danh g a y thiTPng tich ke vofi nha th am van rang: Horn kia d i lam
co ve, tdi cd d itn g n o i chu y en v& i anh trit& n g thon m o t lu c ve
viec to c h itc n gay 8 /3 cho ch i em . C hon g tdi th it& n g g h en bong
ghen gid. K h d n g b ie t n g h e h a n g xo m x u i bay g i a n h ay da x o n g
vao tdi d a n h tan n h a n m a khdng cho tdi th a n h m in h. L u c do
nhitng n g it& i h a n g x o m nhin thay the m a k h d n g a i va o can
ngan. Tdi khd n g cdn b iet p h a i lam gi?".

N h irn g cau h o i d o n g ch o th a y sir th ie u k i n a n g , th ie u th a u

hieu v a la m ch o th o n g tin m a n g tin h s u y lu£ n ch u q u a n , h o i rat
nhieu n h im g ca u tr a ld i th i k h o n g th u dirpc d ie u gi n g o a i v ie c
ch u n g m in h y n g h i cu a n h a th a m va n . N h irn g cau h o i n a y co
the la:
a. C h o n g ch i co h a y d a n h chj k h d n g ? - K h d n g .
b. G iita ch j va an h trit& n g thon trit& c d ay cd ch u y en gi
k h u a t ta t k h d n g ? - K hdng.
c. C h o n g ch i v& i an h trit& ng thon trit& c d ay cd m au thuan
g i v& i n ha u k h d n g ? - K hdng.
d. Vi sao chon g chf lai ghen bong ghen gid v&i anh tn t& n g
tho n ? - T di k h d n g biet.
e. C h j va h a n g x o m cd xich m ich gi trit& c d ay k h d n g ? -
Khdng
g. C h j n o i ch u y en v&i ong tr'it&ng thon vao luc m ay gi& ? -
10 gi&.
h. C h i an & n h it th e 'n a o rna han g xo m ho lai g h e t ch i? - Tdi
k h o iig lam g i sa i ti'di cd.
C o th e p h a n tich ca c cau hoi do nhir sau: V 6 i cau h o i a. th o n g
tin th u dirpc la "K h o n g ", de dan nha th a m va n d en s u su y lu an
"A n h ay la n g it& i tot" — > "C h a c an h ay cd ch u y en gi b ite x u c ”—
> "C h f ay can tim h ieu n g u y en nhan vd thon g ca m v& i a n h ay"...
N h im g n eu th a n ch u tra lcti la "Cd, thit& n g x u y en ". N h a th a m van
298 | Giao trinh Tham van tam li

co th e su y lu a n r i n g "A nh ta la d o vu p h u "— > "L am v a anh ta

thi n g u y h iem q u a "— > "C h i ta can bao ch in h q u y en , h o a c li dj
v&i an h ta"... Sir su y lu a n nhir th e de k h ie n n h a th a m van cho ldi
k h u y en , h o a c b a o th a n chu la m gi do! C on tro n g tru d n g h p p nha
th a m va n d at cau h oi: "V a ch o n g ch i th it& n g cu: x it v& i nhau nhit
th e 'n a o ? " th i th o n g tin th u dtfQc se g iu p n h a th a m va n nhin van
d'e cu a th a n ch u k h a ch q u an hQn, sau sac h o n .
C u n g n h tf v£y, ca c cau h oi d on g, th ie u k i thu£t, it th o n g tin
tren can stfa th a n h ca c cau h oi mcf. N h tf v d i cau b co the doi
th an h : "C h i co the n o i m o t ch u t ve con g v iec cu a ch j co lien quan
v&i tinh trit& n g thon?"; cau c v a d th an h : "C h o n g ch j v&i anh
trit& n g thon co q u a n he v&i nhau n h it th e'n a o ? ", cau e v a h: "Mdi
q u a n h e g iita g ia d in h ch i v&i h a n g x o m x u n g q u a n h n h it the
n ao?", hoac: "C h i n g h i g i/C h j cam thay th e'n a o ve h a n g xom ciia
m in h ?", cdn th o n g tin v'e cau g co th e tim th a y tro n g cau b, neu
k h d n g b ie t th i cu n g k h d n g q u an trQng, vi nd k h o n g an h htfdng tdi
k e t q u a th a m van .

Van de cua than chu

C H UO N G 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 299

O ca tren, li do than chu den tham van la b i ch o n g d anh. Vi

vay can hoi ve sy* kien chong danh hay cam xuc cua than chu khi
bj chong danh. Vi nha tham van da biet su kien nen neu hoi
"Chong ch i d a n h ch j n h it th e'n a o ?", thi than chu co the ke ra mQt
loat cac kieu dam da cua ong chong. Cau hoi nay kh ong toi. Tuy
nhien nha tham van can biet than chu cam th ay the nao vdi
nhimg cai dam da do. N h u vay can gan hanh dQng dam da cua
ong chong vdi cac cam xuc, suy nghi hay hanh dQng cua than chu.
Neu cau hdi dua ra la: "C h i cam thay th e'n a o k h i ch o n g ch j danh
chj" thi cd ve hQp 11 hQn ca. N hung khia canh khac nhu: C hong
hay g h en bon g g h en g id ; han g xo m x u i bay hay khd n g can ngan
khi thay than chu bi d a n h ; hay m oi qua n he cu a than chu v&i
ong trtf& n g thon vd v&i han g xo m ... la nhim g tinh tiet phai lam
ro, nhung khdng phai la van de quan trQng nhat can hoi dau tien.
N h u vay, mQt cau hoi dat ra co ki nang se bao quat dUQc rat
nhieu thong tin va nhieu cau hoi dong. M at khac, no khong dan
dat suy luan chu quan van de cua than chu. Cau hoi hQp li trong
tinh huong tren la:
- "Chf ca m th a y th e 'n a o khi chon g ch j d a n h chf trtf& c m a t
n htfng n g tf& i h a n g x o m ?".
- "C hj ca m th a y th e 'n a o sau ta t cd n h tfn g g i dd x a y ra v&i
chj?".
V d i cau h o i thir nhat, nha tham van cho rang viec ngudi v q bi
chong danh tru dc m at nhung ngudi hang xom ( s y kien) la nguyen
nhan dan chi tim den tham van. V i vay can h o i ve cam xuc cua chi
ta lien quan den stf kien bi danh. C on vdi cau h oi thir hai, nha
tham van nhan m anh den viec khong xac dinh s u kien nao la
quan trQng nhat dan den v ie c anh ta danh v q - Co the do ong
chong cd tinh ghen tudng; chong ghet ong trudng thon; hang xom
xui bay; stf tire gian , bat ly c cua ngudi vQ; viec bi danh co n g khai
trudc hang xom va co the con nhieu s y kien khac m a than chu
chua noi ra.
D ya tren cau tra ldi cua than chu, nha tham van se xem xet de
dua ra cau hdi tiep theo cho phu hQp vdi cau chuyen hoac co the sir
dyng ki nang khac. Tuy nhien trong trudng hQp than chu den ma
300 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

kh on g noi gi thi cau h oi dau tien co the la: Tdi co the g iu p gi cho
c h j? ” h oac "Chi co chuyen gi m uon chia se v&i to i? ”... Vcri mpt cau
hoi mcf, kh ai quat th an chu se tra ldi theo tam trang, su y nghi cua
m inh, q ua do nha th am van xac djnh cau hoi tiep theo.

III. K i n An g t h a u h i e u

rrl '* • •a , i 1
l . K h a i n i e m t h a u h ie u
T h a u h ieu (E m p a th y - con goi la th au cam ) la cam nhan dieu
m a th a n ch u d a n g cam nhan. D o la k h a n an g h ieu b a n g cam xuc,
h ieu b ie t ch in h x a c cai th e gid i cam x u c cu a th a n chii (C. Rogers).
T ru a x va C a r k h u ff (19 6 7) cho ran g th au h ieu n g h ia la h ieu ngirdi
k ia b a n g tin h ca m cu n g nhiT b an g ttf duy. D e sir d u n g dtfpc ki
n an g n ay, n h a th a m va n p h ai d at dtfpc m in h va o vi tri ciia than
ch u de h ie u th a n chu n h an th ifc th e n ao? C am n h an stf viec ra
sao? H .J. H ass ch o ra n g n h a th a m va n th a u h ieu kh i cam thay
cach thirc cu a m in h di va o n h an thirc cu a th a n chu va trtfdn vao
tro n g th e g id i cu a th a n chu de h ieu sau xa h o n cach thtfc than chu
cam , cach thirc th a n chu n gh i va cam dtfpc dieu th a n chu dang
k in h n g h iem .
Cd th e noi, th a u h ieu la k h a n an g n h an b ie t, cam n h an , hieu
cam x u c cu a n gtfdi k h a c th o n g q u a ctf chi, ld i noi, h a n h vi ciia
n gtfdi do v a la k h a n a n g giao tiep d im g m tfc de h ieu ngtfdi do.
T h a u h ieu k h o n g chi la m pt k i n an g m a la m p t to h p p cac ki nang.
D e dtfa ra m p t cau tra ld i th a u h ieu d oi h o i n h a th a m va n phai sir
d u n g cac k i n a n g la n g n gh e, im lan g, ca c k i n an g p h an h oi tot...
th i m d i n a m b a t d tfpc ch in h x a c npi d u n g va n de cu a th a n chu,
p h a n h o i d tfpc ca m x u c cu a th a n ch u. N h tfn g d au h ieu cho thay
n h a th a m v a n co stf th a u h ieu , dd la:
- C o k h a n a n g d at m in h vao h o a n can h ciia th a n chii va danh
gia d im g v a n de cu a th a n chu,
- L a n g n g h e to t, k h o n g chi b e m at cua n gon tir m a n htfng bieu
cam dtfdi n g o n ttf,
- C o k h a n a n g cam n h an va hieu nhtfng cam xu c, n htfn g dieu
m a th a n ch u da trai qua,
 CH U O N G 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 301

- Q u an tam d'au tien den nhu cau cu a th an ch u,

- N h a y ca m v a ton trpn g n h u n g gia trj, trai n g h iem cua th an
chu ch o du di'eu do co phu h p p vd i n ha th am va n h a y kh o n g ,
- Co su trao doi vdi than chu nhtfng dieu m a nha tham van da hieu.
M .D a ig n e a u lt cho ran g th au h ieu la m pt phurc h p p cam xuc.
Ong p h an tich ch u n g th eo nhtfng kh ia can h sau:
- T hau h ieu la m o t kin h n ghiem

V i d y , k h i ch u n g ta gap m pt dtfa tre nho la n g th a n g vtfa di vtfa

khoe va o b u o i tdi, tim ta n hoi len vi s y co d o n , ch u n g ta se den
hoi no. N eu vi li do nao do k h o n g lam d u p e v ie c nay, h in h anh
dtfa tre lu o n g p i len tro n g dau ta. N h u vay, th au h ieu la m pt phan
tfng tin h cam d u p e h in h th a n h ttf lo n g trac an k h i con n g u d i gap
kho k h a n v a d u p e k h P i d a y b d i tran g th ai tin h cam d n g u d i khac.
T ron g th tfc te, n eu n h a th a m van co k h a n an g th ich n gh i trtfdc cac
stf k ien co lien q u a n d en tin h cam se th au h ieu tot.
- T hau h ieu la m o t th d i do don tiep
N h a th a m v a n co th a u hieu lu o n m on g m u on n h an b ie t sac
thai rien g b ie t d th a n chu. Stf quan tam n a y n htf m pt tin h ieu don
tiep th a n ch u, m d i ch ao th a n chu ch ia se n h ieu h o n va n d'e cua
hp. T h a i dp d on tiep doi h o i n ha th a m va n phai: 1/ K h on g cho
rang m in h da h ieu th a n chu, dieu n ay giu p n h a th a m va n tap
tru n g th tfc stf de n gh e th a n chu tro n g su ot cupc th a m van . 2/
T ran h h o i th u c v a ch ap n h an th an chu co th e lam lan , co th e
k h d n g n h a n b ie t n htfng cam xu c cua b an th a n h o a c k h o n g ttf
q u yet d in h d tfpc v a n de cu a m inh. 3/ C hap n h an th a n chu la
ngtfdi k h a c v d i m in h . V i vay, th an chu co th e sp nhtfng d ieu m a
nha th a m v a n k h o n g sp, bi ton thtfOng b d i n htfng dieu m a ngtfdi
k h ac k h o n g bi to n thtfOng. 4/ C ho ran g m pi v ie c deu co n gu yen
n h an , ch u n g to n tai v d i nhtfng li do rien g chtfa dtfpc giai th ich
th eo k ie u cu a th a n ch ii va anh ta la n h tf vay.
- T h a u hieu la m o t tap hcfp cd c n an g k h ieu tinh te
T h a u h ieu dtfpc coi n h tf m pt tap h p p cac n a n g kh ieu tin h te
v a k h e o le o nipt cach ch u yen biet. De co dtfpc k i n a n g th a u h ieu
302 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

nha th a m v a n can co mQt so n an g ltfc, nhtf: N a n g ltfc k h a m pha cf

th a n ch u nhtfng d au h ieu du k h o n g ro rang, b § c 1q n htfng trang
th ai tin h cam n h tf stf sQ hai, n u oi tiec, stf gia n dtf, tQi loi, noi
b u o n ... N a n g ltfc stf d y n g nhtfng p h an tfng n oi ta m p h u hQp de
h ieu nhtfng tra i n g h iem cu a th an chu. V a, n a n g ltfc tach rieng
dtfQc y n g h ia cu a nhtfng trai n gh iem cf th a n chu tro n g khi d$t
m in h va o v; tri cu a an h ta.
- T hau h ieu la m o t qua trin h cam nhan

T h a u h ie u la stf tim k iem rat tich ctfc nhtfng h in h thtfc va mau

sac cu a ca c ca m x u c n o i th an chu. Q u a trin h n a y m a n g tin h ttfcfng
tac. B a n g nhtfn g ta c dQng cu a m inh, n ha th a m va n la m than chu
ttf h ieu v a n h a n th tfc ch in h x a c hQn n htfng trai n g h iem cu a anh ta
va d ieu n a y la i g iu p n h a th am va n tin h I q c stf ca m th o n g va tic
dQng cu a m in h .
- T hau h ieu la mQt tinh cam

T h au hieu la m Q t tin h cam m a nha th am van cam nhan dtfQc,

nhtfng b an g m Q t cach thtfc it m an h liet hQn nhtfng tin h cam cf than
chu. T u y nhien, m Q t nha th am van hieu ro vai tro cua m inh se
kh on g de cho tin h cam cua m inh tran ngap m a phai gitf dtfQc ranh
gi&i ro ran g gitfa nhtfng trai nghiem cua ch inh m inh v a nhtfng trai
nghiem cf th a n chu. N htf C. R ogers cho r in g : N h a th am van cam
nhan va n de cua th an chu n h it the cua m inh, nhtfng no khong bao
g id la cua m inh.

V i d y, kh i th an chu la m Q t dtfa tre ke ve noi co dcfn, stf ngheo

doi kh o n g ngtfdi giu p dtf sau kh i cha m e no m at. N htfng tam tinh
n ay chinh la m Q t p h an k l tfc cua nha th am van m a chj ta da gan nhir
ch on vu i vao d i vang. V ao lu c nay, nha th am van co the cam nhan
rat ro n<?i tam cu a th an chu, nhtfng kh on g vi the m a chj ta lai bat
khoe cu n g th an chu. N h a th am van can tach b ach tin h cam cua
m inh vcri tin h cam cua than chu. V a nhtf the, van de cu a th an chu
lu on lu o n chi la n htf the ciia m inh, m a kh on g b ao gicf co m in h trong
do. Chi kh i gitf dtfQc stf thau hieu nhtf vay, nha th am van m o i giup
dtfQc cac th an chii dtfQng dau tot van de cua hQ.
CHl/ONG 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 303

T om l^i, thai do ton trong nhan cach va nhtfng trai nghiem cua
than chu doi hoi or nha tham van (xuat phat tu* ban tinh va stf ren
luyen) phai co d t f Q c mQt tinh cam gan gui va trac an doi vod than
chu. T in h cam n ay xu at phat ttf viec than chu tin ttfQng hoan toan
vao n ha th am van va than chu m ao hiem ttf b oc lo m inh trong stf noi
loan va roi loan tinh than cua anh ta.

C o th e noi k i n an g th au
Tren giang ducfng chung toi
hieu ch o p h ep n h a th a m van
luy$n kha tot ve ki nang thau hieu
lan g n gh e sau sa c hQn y n g h i
hay ki nang dtfcfng dau... N hung
va cam g ia c cu a th a n c h u ..Q u a
khi thitc hanh ca & ccf sd, chung
do, n ha th a m va n co th e tra ld i
toi vd cung lung tung trong vi?c
than chu v e nhtfng d ieu h o noi
thitc hi§n hod chung. Tdi nhan ra
theo nhtfng cach k h a c nhau.
rang cdi md chung tdi cd van chi
T heo E.D . N e u k ru g , th au hieu la H thuyet vd thudng be nhu
la m ot p h a m ch at n h a n cach nguyen nhung gi minh hqc vao
cua n h a th a m va n , dtfQc n an g ca thitc te. Viec li thuyet cd van
len th a n h m Q t k i th u at. Khi dung vao thitc te d ita c hay khdng
nha th a m v a n d at d en stf th au phu thuQC vao cach ban sit dung
hieu la da la n g n g h e nhtfng chimg trong nhin nhan nhitng
quan d iem cu a th a n ch u, chap van de ciia cuoc song hang ngay.
nhan nhtfng g ia trj ttf tai n oi (BTTM, K49, 2007)
con ngtfofi h o m Q t cach vo dieu
kien, n h a th a m v a n h o a n h ap vcri cach n h in n h an cu a th a n chu de
giu p h o di th eo htfcm g phu hQp nhat vcri tin h cach v a cuqc son g
cua ho, ch u y en tcri th a n chu b u t th o n g d iep rang: "V iec a n h /ch j
nghi k h a c tdi la k h d n g sa o cd". V ie c h ieu b ie t sau sac v a th a u h ieu
ve th a n ch u dtfQc o n g gQi la "M o t dan g d a c b iet ciia lang nghe".

L.E . T y le r g ia i n g h ia k i n an g th au h ieu n htf sau: T ro n g khi

la n g n gh e, n h a th a m va n lu o n lu o n v a gan n htf ttf d on g dat m in h
v a o vi tri cu a th a n ch u, th tf nhin stf vat nhtf th a n chu n h in ch u n g,
ch tf k h o n g co th a i do cu a ke d u n g n goai. V i d y , k h i dira tre noi cha
m e no d o c ac, lu o n trtfn g p hat no vi ch u yen k h o n g dau. V ie c kiem
tra ch a m e no n h tf th e n ao la can th iet, nhtfng do k h o n g p h ai la
co n g v ie c cu a n h a th a m van , vi nhtfng n gan h n gh e k h a c la m viec
n a y (n h a n v ie n co n g tac xa hoi, n ha giao h o a c th a m chi la cong
304 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

an, to a an, n eu sir trim g p h at n ay vi p h a m q u yen tre em ). Cong

v ie c cu a n h a th a m va n la n h in gia dinh du’a tre nhir ch in h dira tre
nhin, cai n h in do co ch in h xac h a y k h o n g , k h o n g th an h van de.
V a n de la di'eu gi k h ie n dtia tre n h in n h an nhir vay?

2. Cd c m u’c cua thau hieu

T ru a x (19 6 1) da dira ra m ot th a n g do co 9 m u’c do de do mu’c
do th a u h ieu v a sau n a y C a rk h u ff (19 6 9 ) da h ieu ch in h thanh
th a n g do 5 m u’c do. T h a n g do m a C a rk h u ff xap xep m u’c do tu"
th ap la 1.0 d en m u’c do cao la 5.0. D ap u n g d “mure do 1” hay
“ m u t do 2 ” la lam g ia m gia tri cu a nhirng di'eu m a th an chu dang
n oi (vl d y: dira ra ld i k h u yen , p h an anh cam x u c k h o n g ch inh xac,
k h o n g q u an ta m d en noi d un g). Bat ki stf d ap u n g nao d udi 3.0
deu d u p e coi la am tin h h o a c k h o n g th a u h ieu . T ir 3.0 trd len
d u o c coi la th a u h ieu . D ap urng d “m u’c do 3 ” la b a y to d upe cam
x u c v a y n g h ia v'e n h u n g gi th an chu d an g noi. N h u n g dap ung d
“m u’c do 4 ” v a “m u’c do 5 ” la p h an anh d u p e nhirng cam xuc, y
n gh ia v u p t x a h p n n h u n g gi m a th an ch u noi b en n go ai va bo
su n g th em y n g h ia ch o stf b a y to b en n goai cu a th a n chu.
N h u n g k in h n g h iem ru t ra tro n g q u a trin h h u d n g dan ngudi
h o c lu ye n k i n a n g th a u h ieu va b an g cach th u th ap cac ket qua bay
to stf “th o n g c a m ” ttf n h ien cu a n g u d i h o c tir nhi'eu k h o a dao tao,
tap h u a n ch u n g to i n h a n th a y m u’c do th a p n h a t m a n g u d i h oc co
th e b a y to ch o n g u d i xin trp giu p la noi th in g , noi "tho bao" vao
loi cu a h o; h o a c ch o h o ld i k h u y e n h u d n g d en ch ap n h an kinh
n g h iem ca n h a n , d oi k h i giao di'eu cu a n g u d i h oc. H ai cach noi
n a y k h o n g co stf th a u h ieu v a cdn g a y k h o chiu. 6 m ue cao nhat
co th e d a t td i la la m ch o n g u d i xin trp g iu p cam th a y th oai mai,
cam th a y m in h d u p e ch ia se v a cao h o n nUa la n g u d i xin trp giup
cam th a y gia tri cu a m in h d u p e nan g cao - th au cam d m u c d<?
cao. D tfa v a o th tfc te d ay thtfc h a n h nay, ch u n g tdi x a y dtfng 4
m u’c dp th a u h ieu .
V i du, th a n ch u la m p t hpc sin h tru d n g giao d u d n g ch ia se vdi
can bp p h d n g t u va n n h u sau: N g h i den n gay sa p d ir a c tr& ve v&i
gia d in h , em lai ca m thay rat lo lang, k h o n g b iet bo' m e em co
C H U O N G 6: KI nang tham van tam li 3 15

ch a p n h a n s it tr d ve cu a em hay khdng, vi bo m e em cho rang

em la d u ’a co n k h o n g ra gi, lam n h u c nhd b o m e .
O m ite l : Ldi noi n ha th am van k h o n g n h im g k h o n g b a y to
dirpc s y th a u h ieu m a con g a y ra s y kh o ch iu , s y b at on d th an
chu k h i n oi r in g : N e u b d m e nghi the thi em cu n g p h a i ch iu vi
v iec em lam da g a y ch o bo m e em n h itn g d ieu kho tam . E m hay
thong ca m ch o ho, tit tit rdi ho cu n g nhan ra.
O m ite 2: N h a th a m van noi ve va n d'e cu a th an chu m a
kh o n g ta p tru n g noi v'e cam x u c cua th an ch u - C ai li do k h ien
than ch u x in th a m van . V i th e cach noi n a y k h d n g la m th a n chu
voi di ca m x u c tieu eye, th an chu k h o n g cam th a y dirpc h ieu . N h a
th am va n k h d n g tru y en d at m o t cach co y n g h ia v e cam x u c cua
than ch u , m a ch i tru y e n dat q u an d iem , h a y ca m x u c cu a nha
tham va n v a n a n g v'e ch o ld i k h u yen , s y chi dan. N h y vi d y tren:
- B a y g id em dd k h a c t n t d c r a t n hieu rdi, b d m e em cu n g
biet d ieu n ay, b o 'm e em se ch a p nhan em k h i em tr d ve thdi.
- E m c it y en ta m , cha m e nao ch a n g y eu thitefng con. K h i
biet em sa p d it a c tr d ve, ch a c cha m e em m itn g lam .
G m ite 3: L di n oi cd s y th au h ieu g iu p th a n chu v o i di ndi
lon g do cam th a y cd ngirdi h ieu m in h. N h a th a m van v a th a n chu
da b a y to cam x u c v a y n gh i cho nhau. S y b a y to k i n a n g th a u hieu
doi hdi n h a th a m v a n p h ai dat m in h v a o h o a n can h cu a th a n chu
de cam n h a n v'e d ieu h o d an g cam th ay, nhuf th e la va n de cua
m inh. N h a th a m v a n cd th e noi:
- E m ch o ra n g t n t d c d ay m inh dd lam mQt s d d ieu khd n g
hay k h ien ch a m e k h d n g h a i Idng, vi vay em lo s d ran g ch a m e se
khdng ch a p n han k h i em tr d ve, tron g k h i em ra t m on g den
ngay d o a n tu nay. M o t so n g itd i rcfi va o hoan ca n h ciia em ho
cung co n h itn g ca m x iic n h it em .
O m ite 4: S y b a y to cu a n ha th a m van d at dirpc m u’c do sau
sac v e nhirng d ieu th a n chu noi td i kh i chi ra n h u n g gia tri tich
e ye ciia th a n ch ii v a la m cho th an chii th a y m in h cd gia tri.
- E m ca m thay lo lang vi s d cha m e khdng cha p nhan s it trd
ve cu a m inh. C h i cd n h itn g d ita tre b iet an nan hdi cd i va th a t sit
m uon d itd c d o a n tu v d i gia d inh m inh m d i cd n h itn g su y n g h i
d ay d itt n h it em .
306 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

Vcri cach b a y to cu a n ha th am van n h tf v a y, stf n h an thu’c ve

va n d'e cu a th a n ch u k h o n g chi dtfgfc "y th u ’c h oa", m a th an chu
con th a u h ieu sau sac h o n nhtfng cam x u c cu a m in h . V a n htf vay,
th an chu se co xu h tfd n g h a n h d png tich ctfc do dtfpc k h a n g djnh
gia tri th a y vi d u y tri nhtfng cam x u c tieu ctfc cu a m inh.

K hi n oi cau th a u h ieu , n ha th a m va n p h ai co m pt thai dp lin g

n gh e tich ctfc v a stf ton trpn g, ch ap n h an th an chu m a k h o n g phe
p h an d an h gia, di'eu n a y lam ch o th an chu n h in n h an lai b an than
m pt cach to n trp n g v a cam n h an th eo cach m a n h a th a m van doi
xtf vcfi m in h . T u1 do th an chu h ieu v a cam th o n g vd i ch in h minh
to t h p n v a th a n ch u ch ap n h an nhtfng tfu d iem tro n g stf yeu duoi
va k h o k h a n cu a b an th a n va th an chu cd th e ch ap n h an viec minh
k h d n g h o a n th ie n de cd th e la ch in h m in h . M a t k h a c, tin h the cua
th a n ch u cd th e k h d n g th a y ddi, n htfng v ie c h ieu v a ch ap nhan
b an th a n to t h o n se g iu p th an chu tim k ie m to t h o n nhtfng phan
tfng va giai p h ap th ic h h p p tro n g cu p c so n g m di n g a y ciia h<?.
T h a n chu cd th e d oi d'au vd i nhi'eu va n d'e k h a c tro n g ttfp n g lai ma
k h d n g can d en stf trp g iu p cua n h a th a m van .

3. L u y e n ki n an g thau hieu

V d i cach n h in v'e b o n m u’c dp ciia stf b a y to th a u hieu nhu

tren , ch iin g tdi ch o ran g v ie c lu y e n ki n a n g th a u h ieu se ttfpng doi
d o n g ia n kh i y e u cau ngtfdi h p c "thao ta c h o a" stf b a y to th au hieu
th eo m p t co n g th u ’c n h at din h. V i du, sau kh i n gh e th an chii noi
h o a c p h a n n an v'e m pt va n d'e nao do cd k e m th eo cam xu c tieu
ctfc, n h tf b u o n , tire gian , th a t vp n g, lo sp... ch u n g tdi yeu cau
ngtfdi h p c th tfc h ien ca c b tfd c sau:

- D at m in h v a o h o a n can h cu a th a n ch u de cam n h an v e dieu

hp d a n g ca m th a y, ca m n h an v a n d'e "n htf th e cu a m in h ” - D ay la
y e u cau trai n g h iem v'e th ai dp to n trp n g cd h ieu b ie t con ngtfdi
th a n chii.

- N h i c lai cam x u c m a th a n chii d an g ndi va n g u ye n n h an dan

d en ca m x u c do (L am cho th a n chii cam th a y m in h d tfp c lin g
n gh e, va n d'e ciia m in h la cd y n ghia).
CHlfONG 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 30 7

- N o i r in g di'eu h o d an g cam th a y la d u n g tro n g h o a n canh

cua h o (L am ch o th a n chu th a y m in h dtfQc ch ap n h a n ) - d at cf
m u t d o 3.
- Chi ra gia trj, y nghia sau kin nSm sau cam xuc, han h vi tieu
ctfc cua th an chu (Lam cho than chu th ay ho co gia trj tron g hoan
canh cua ho) - dat cf m u’c do 4.
N him g lutf y tran h sir d yn g khi noi ldi thau hieu:
- K h o n g du’a ra ld i k h u yen (hay, nen), h o a c b a o h o lam gi, lam
the nao.
- Khdng du’a kinh n ghiem ca nhan cua m inh vao cau ndi.
- K hdng dim g v'e m ot phia nao de benh h oac che - phia than
chu h ay cac nhan vat cd tron g cau chuyen cua than chu.
- Khdng gian g giai dao du’c xa hoi h oac bin h luan van d'e, con
ngudi th an chu.
- K hdng dat cau hdi.
Cd the thtfc h an h vi du sau, than chu ndi: "Tit khi v a chong toi
co m au thuan, m e chon g toi bat chau ve & ben noi va khdng cho tdi
gap ga, cha m so c chau. Tdi kho tam qua chf a, m a chau cdn be
lam, m &i co 4 tuoi".
- N h a th am van (bac 1): Cd the chf da lam gi v&i con trai ba ay
nen m &i khien ba gian du: khdng cho chj cham nuoi chau (khdng
thau cam m a cdn g a y ra stf btfc m inh cho than chu).
- N h a th am van (bac 2): Thdi chf cit yen tam . Tdi tin rdi ba ay
cung n han ra tam long ciia chj doi v&i chau, rdi ba ay se n g h i lai.
Hoac ndi: C h a c ba ay cung yeu th ita n g vd cham soc chau tot nhu:
chf. C hi d itn g qua buon m d hai den site khoe (an iii, cho ldi khuyen,
chtfa hieu th an chii m u on dtfa ra th ong diep gi).
- N h a th a m van (bac 3): C hj cam thay kho tam khi khdng d ita c
gcin giii cha m soc con trai be nhd ciia m inh. N hieu ngit& i ra i vao
hoan ca n h ciia ch j ho cu n g thay kho tam n h it vay (da thau hieu van
d'e cua th an chu).
- N h a th am van (bac 4): C hj cam thay gian m e chong khi bd
khdng cho ch j gcin gui, cham soc d ita con nhd yeu quy ciia m inh.
Chi cd n h itn g n git& i h et m ite yeu th ita n g con m inh m &i hieu d ita c
308 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

het noi kho tam ciia ch j (thau cam b a c cao, th an chu co cam giac
dirpc n an g dd, giai th o at vi co ngudi hieu ndi lon g m inh).

V iec nha tham van dira ra m ot cau thau cam khi nhan thay than
chu cd cam xu c "thieu tich cUc" ve m ot van de nao dd chi dem thuan la
b ay to sir lang nghe, nhan biet va m ong m uon dong hanh vdi nhirng
trai nghiem cua than chu. V i vay khi b ay to s y thau cam , nha tham van
can sir d yn g tir dung dj, gan gui vd i van phong cua than chii va phai
b ay to m ot cach ty* nhien.

M . D aign eau lt cho rang, b an g cac cau tra ldi th au hieu, nha
th am van da kh ien th an chii cam nhan rang an h /ch i ta dirpc ton
trong tro n g n h im g trai n ghiem v a n him g gi an h /ch i ta d an g co. Tir
do, th an chu tin tirdng nha th am van va cam th a y m u on tiep tyc bQC
lo m inh. V ie c cam nhan dupe ngtfdi k h ac la n g n ghe v a hieu minh
cho phep th an chu cam th ay dd kh o chiu h o n , d d cd dpc h on va do
ndi cau h o n khi ro i vao tam tran g xau. T h a n chii cu n g de dang tiep
ty c cdi m d cam xuc, y ttfdng h a y la phan im g cu a hp.

Khi dtfa ra ld i th au hieu, M . D aigneau lt cu n g k h u yen cao ring

doi khi n ha th a m va n cu ng cd sai Tam. V i d y, n ha th a m van co cam
giac rang th an chii d an g cd m pt cam x u c am tin h nao dd, nhtfng
thtfc ra anh ta kh d n g cd. H oac ngtfpc lai, nha th a m van kh dng nhan
th a y cam xu c d an g dtfpc than chii trai n gh iem . C ac n h a tham van
thtfdng can h b ao cho sinh vien thtfc tap th a m va n r in g : D im g bao
gid cho ran g m in h hieu dtfpc cam xu c cu a ngtfdi kh ac, dac b iet la cac
cam xu c cu a th a n chu.

V i du: Khi th an chu d an g b a y to cam xu c cua m inh, nha tham

van ndi “ tdi h ieu ” . T h a n chu cd the v a c lai: “A n h lam sao m a hieu
d ita c cam x u c cua tdi” I

H oac, khi th an chii d an g gian dtf, ld n tieng, nha th am van phan

hoi thau cam : “DWcfng nhw anh dan g g ia n ”. T han chu cd the ldn
tieng h on : “ T oi viec q u a i gi p h a i g i a n ’ l Dieu n a y ndi len ring
kh dng cd nha th am van nao chu quan n ghi la m inh cd kh a nang lam
chii d u p e cam x u c cua n gu di khac, ngay ca khi m oi q u an he tham
van trd nen th at sy’ th au hieu.
CHl/ONG 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 309

Carl Rogers cung canh bao rang, nhirng cau thau hieu nha tham
van du’a ra cho than chu mQt cach cong thu’c, m ay moc, kho cimg,
khong t y nhien, thieu cam xuc theo kieu “dau ludi” thinh thoang cung
bj phat hien. Tuy nhien, cimg vcri viec thyc hanh nhfeu Tan, nha tham
van se ket hQp phu hQp gitfa nhtfng dieu anh ta dang cam thay vcri
nhtfng bieu cam phi ngon ngtf, dan dan nhtfng loi thau hieu se bdt kho
cirng va t y nhien hQn, va lam cho than chu de chap nhan hQn.

IV. k i n An g p h An h o i

l. K h a i n iem ve p h a n hoi

Phan hoi la ndi lai bang tir ngtf cua m inh hoac nhac lai ldi cua
than chu mQt cach cd dQng hay lam sang to dieu than chu cam
thay va dat dtfQc s y tan thanh cua than chu.

Ho^c, phan hoi la tang ctfdng y thirc ve nhtfng gi than chu

lam va lam nhtf the nao. T h y c chat do la s y tiep nhan va truyen
tin ve hanh vi.

Trong tham van, phan hoi dat dtfQc mQt stf khach quan khi
nha tham van chi don gian ndi lai nhtfng dieu m inh quan sat thay
ma khdng gan vd i suy luan, danh gia ve van de va con ngtfdi than
chu. V i vay, phan hoi chi nen lien quan den cac cau hdi: the nao?
cai gi? m a khdng nham giai thich tai sao.

Y nghia cua phan hoi la giup cho than chu cam thay cd ngtfdi
dang lang nghe va hieu dieu minh ndi, lam cho than chu dtfQc khich
1$, giup than chu y thu’c dtfQc di'eu hQ vira ndi va cd trach nhiem vdi
ldi ndi do.

Phan hoi lam cho than chu cd cam giac dtfQc quy trQng, cdn nha
tham van biet c M c chan dieu minh hieu la khdng sai, khdng suy
dien. Trong trtfdng hQp neu nha tham van dien dat sai se dtfQc than
chii giai thich va dieu chinh kip thdi.

D ac diem cua niQt phan hdi tot, cd hieu qua dtfQc trinh bay
dtfdi day trong stf so sanh vdi phan hoi kem hieu qu a1.

1 Nguyen Thi Oanh chii bien, Tam li ti'uyen thong va giao tiep, Dai h<?c Md - Ban
cong, TP. HCM, 1995. co chinh sira cho phu hgfp.
3 10 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

P h a n h o i m a n g la i h ie u qua. P h a n h o i k e m h ie u q u a
k h i: k h i:
l. Than chu sin sang, co nhu cau 1. Than chu chua sin sang
hieu ro van de. nghe.
2. Mo ta khach quan dieu than chu 2. Mang tinh phe phan hay
bay to, khong phai y kien nhan danh gia: “Anh da that
dinh rieng cua nha tham van: h ya”.

“Anh da khong den”.

3. Cu the: “Toi horn trudc anh da
khong ve nha lam chi ay lo lang”.
4. Noi ve hanh vi quan sat dupe.
5. Dieu than chu vira the hien.
6. Dung tam trang, hoan canh.
7. Bay to tap trung vao mot diem.
8. Khong doi hoi mQt sy thay doi
ma cung cap dtf ki?n.
9. Nham myc dich giup dd: giup
than chu sang to.
3. Chung chung: “Anh cu- di
qua dem nhtf the” .
4. Ban ve dQng ccf, y do.
5. Dieu gQi lai than chu.
6. Khong dung luc, khong co
kha nang tiep nhan.
7. Dtfa ra nhi'eu diem, nhieu
khia canh.
8. Bat b u Q C phai thay doi theo
cai ma nha tham van cho la
dung.
9. De chtfng minh cho than
chu thay sy yeu kem cua
anh ta.

2. Cd c loai p h a n hoi
T h o n g th u d n g tron g cau chuyen cua th an chu bao g id cung bay
to su1 kien, th e hien d n<?i d un g cau noi va cac cam xuc, tinh cam
chira d y n g d an g sau cau noi do. V i v a y kh i p h an hoi, nha tham van
co the lap lai noi d u n g cau noi h oac lap lai cam xuc, n ghia la n M c lai
cho th an chu y thu'c h o n ve n<?i d un g tin h cam trong ngon tu ciia hQ.
Co b a loai p h an hoi.
- L a p la i cau n o i ciia than chii (sit n h a c lai)
T h o n g th u d n g khi than chu den tham van hQ th u d n g d trong
tinh tran g boi roi lo lin g nen nhung gi ho noi ra co the von g vo
kh on g th eo m ot trat ty , logic nao. N ha tham van su d u n g phan hoi
lap lai noi d u n g de tom lu p c cau chuyen, sap xep n h u n g d iem chinh
trong do. N h d cach n ay than chu doi m at d u o c vdi dien chinh vpij
CH U O N G 6: KI nang tham van tam li 3 11

vira b o c 16- M §t khac, anh ta co cam tudng la nha th am van dang

nghe m in h noi va th an chu cung y thu’c day du h on v'e di'eu m inh
vira noi. D o do loai phan hoi nay lam tang su" chu y cua than chu.
Nhir v^y, p h an hoi noi dung co ich trong viec giup than chu but len
kham p h a ban than. V i du, sau khi than chu giai b ay m ot loat kho
khan lien quan den m oi quan he cua than chu vcri dong nghiep, nha
tham van co the n hac lai (phan hoi noi dung):
- Tdi n g h e an h n o i rang anh khdng cdn chiu d tfn g d w a c ha n
ntf a n h tfn g ch u y en hieu nham g itfa anh va d o n g n g h iep X .
Phan hoi kieu lap lai, nhac lai la ki nang d ay cach nghe “tich
ctfc”, h o ac cach nghe “co su y n g h i”. Cach phan hoi n ay cua nha tham
van thirdng dirpc thu’c hien khi bat dau tiep can vd i th an chu, khi
nha th am van cdn thieu hieu biet v'e con ngirdi va m oi quan he cua
than chu. Phan hoi lap lai la nhac lai don gian n hu n g gi than chu
vira ndi, n hu n g ngan gon hon, ro rang h on , sir d un g tir n gu don
gian. SU phan hdi d an g n ay dupe goi la phat bieu lai, h ay dien dat
lai. Lap lai noi d u n g la m ot viec khdng kho. T a chi can nghe nhirng
ldi xuat phat tir m ien g than chii va lap lai nhirng ldi dd. Cach phan
hoi n ay kh d n g ndi v'e m ot tinh cam nao do cua than chu va h'au n h u
khdng phai sir d u n g d en s y suy nghi. Loai phan hoi n ay kh dn g dupe
C. R ogers danh gia cao, vi phan hoi nhac lai doi khi dan nha tham
van den tran g thai nhai lai n h u m ot cai m ay, m a thieu su thau thau
hieu, th am chi cdn g a y phan cam cho than chii.

T h eo K a th eryn G e ld a rd va D avid G eld ard (20 0 0 ), p h an hdi lai

noi d u n g giiip cho n h a th am van tiep can th an chu m a kh d n g lam
xao n h a n g kh ia can h "T h an chii tron g tam " v a cd th e b at dau dupe
cau ch u yen . C a ch n a y de sir d ung vi n ha th am van chi can nghe
n him g ld i x u a t p h at tir m ien g ciia ho. N him g, di'eu n ay kh d n g co
nghia la n h a th a m va n nhac lai n h u vet h o ac lap lai tim g tir m ot,
nh im g gi th an chii da noi. N gh ia la nha th am van chpn ra nhirng
chi tiet ndi d u n g q u a n trQng nhat tron g n him g di'eu th an chii da
ndi roi d ien dat lai mQt cach ro rang h o n vd i ngon tir ciia m inh.

- P h a n hdi ca m x iic (pha n hdi tam tin h)

T h e o M . D a ig n ie a u lt, than chii b a y to th u d n g b a t dau b an g

cac ca m x iic h a y cam g ia c va ch inh sir phan h oi cam xu c giiip giai
3 12 Giao trinh Tham van tim li

m a v a n de nay. T u y n h ien , p h an h oi cam x u c th ird n g k h o n g dtftfc

trin h b a y ro ran g. V i vay, k h i p h an h o i ca m x u c n h a th a m van
p h ai tin h tofi nhCmg gi n h in th a y, n gh e th a y, dira ra nhufng ket
lu a n h o a c g ia th u y e t tir mQt cam xu c, mQt tin h h u o n g d o th an chu
bQC 1q . T h o n g th ird n g mQt ngirdi co cam g ia c b u o n r'au v a roi loan
kh i b j b o r a i, co n k h i anh ta b o r a i ai do th i de co cam g ia c tQi loi;
k h i co v ie c gi d o b a t on an h ta se cam th a y lo la n g tro n g ngirdi.
N g h ia la n h a th a m v a n p h ai d at ten ch o lo a i x u c cam , tin h cam do
v a p h a n h o i lai di'eu do th eo cach la m ch o th an ch ii cam th ay de
chju, p h u hQp v d i s y d ien ta cu a th an chu.

C. R o g ers cu n g co n h an xet ran g, th o n g th ird n g kh i khach

h a n g b a y to, th ird n g b a t dau b a n g cac cam x u c h a y cam giac. Cam
xu c diTQc trin h b a y th u d n g k h o n g r 5 ran g d oi vd i n h a th a m van,
th a m chi v d i ca b an th a n th a n ch u, n en n h a th a m va n can phien
dich la i nhirn g ca m x u c n ay. T ro n g lu c b a y to th a n ch u cd ca m xuc
m an h , n h u n g cu n g co n h u n g cam x u c ng'am an v a “ mQt s y phan
an h to t p h ai dUQc chQn l y a ” .

N h a th a m va n th u d n g p h an h oi la i nhirng ca m g ia c m an h ma
nh a th a m v a n ca m n h an la th an chu m u o n noi v'e cam gia c nay
h a n ca - n h u cau n a y co th y c v a no noi len ra n g neu n h a th a m van
k h o n g tap tru n g v a o no, m a b o q u a th i n h u n g n h u cau n a y se con
q u a y t r a lai.

V i dy, nha tham van co the noi: “ Tdi thay m a t anh th it ra m oi lan
nhac d eh ten cha u ”. Hoac: “D ieu do da de lai trong anh m ot ndi
buon”. Hoac: “A n h cam thay boi roi khi biet sit that ve cau chuyen”.

T u y n h ien , n h a th a m van cu n g co th e p h a n h o i lai mQt cam

g ia c ng'am an m a n h a th a m v a n ca m n h a n th o n g q u a nhirng dau
h ieu nhu: s y ly a chQn tir, mQt tie n g th d dai, mQt s y n gap ngim g,
mQt th o a n g n oi gia n tro n g cai n h in , mQt giQng noi ye u di... De
la m dUQc di'eu n a y d oi h o i n h a th a m van p h a i q u a n sat nh im g
h a n h vi phi n g o n n g u ciia th a n chu. N h a th a m va n ca n p h a i giup
th a n ch ii doi d ien v d i cac cam g ia c tieu e ye va k h o ch iu b a n g cach
m a hQ co th e th ic h n gh i chu" k h o n g th e nao b o q u a cac cam xuc
tieu eye ciia hQ.
C H UO N G 6: KI nang tham van tam If 3 13

V i d y , th a n chu noi: M e cha u khdng hieu cha u, m e la m ang

chau s u o t m a y n gay nay va cha n g chju n ghe ch a u noi. M e cha u
cha ng q u a n tam t&i cha u.

N h a th a m van : Co ve nhw chau d an g ca m thay dau kho va

gian dw. D w & ng nhw ngw &i m a cha u ra t tin tw&ng da lam cha u
that vo n g .

T h tfd n g th a n ch u se co tran h kh am p h a n h im g ca m n g h i vi ho
m uon tran h stf d au d d n di kem vd i cam x u c m a n h n h tf b u o n ba,
that vp n g, gia n dtf, lo au. D oi m at vd i y n gh i ay co n co n g h ia la
tien td i ca m th a y de ch iu hem ve cam xuc, de roi co th e ch on
nhtfng q u y et d jn h k h o n n goan . T u y nhien, n h a th a m v a n van
tranh n h a c la i ch in h x a c d en m u’c th o th ien nhtfng tir noi ve cam
xuc cu a th a n ch u, vi co th e no g a y ra cam g ia c “d au dem ”, th ieu
chan th a t h o a c “n h ai la i” .

Khi n h a th a m va n p h a n anh nhtfng cam x u c n g a m an b en

dtfdi cau noi cu a th a n ch u, se cho p h ep th a n ch u ra so a t lai dtfpc
m ot cach d a y du n h tfn g cam xu c th y c cu a m in h v a cam th a y de
chju h p n do k e t q u a la da giai to a dtfpc n htfn g cam n g h i ay. Khi
cam nghi d tfp c g ia i to a , th a n ch u co th e su y n g h i ro ran g h o n , co
the xem x et n h tfn g k h a n a n g ly a chpn la n h m a n h v a n htfn g s y ly a
chpn ve ttfp n g lai. V i du:

- N gtfdi p h u ntf noi: B a y gi& toi k h o n g sa o co the trd ch u y en

binh thw &ng v& i m e ch o n g tdi. Tdi khd n g ch ju n o i m o i sW can
thiep cu a ba ay. T oi te hcfn, m o t con ngw&i nhw ch o n g tdi la i vao
hiia v&i m e m in h. T di khd n g biet rdi ch u y en g i se xa y ra v&i gia
dinh nhd cu a tdi.
- N h a th a m va n : C h f g ia n m e chon g , nhw ng d ieu ch j lo lang
han ch in h la ban lin h cu a ch o n g chf, ch j lo s a m e ch o n g chf can
thiep la m an h hw &ng d en ha n h p h u c cu a gia d in h chf.

K hi p h a n hdi ca m xu c, n ha th a m va n can ltfu y cd nhtfng lu c

than ch ii lan lpn h a y m au th u an gitfa cam xu c b a y to b a n g ld i v a
cam xiic b a y to k h d n g ld i, h o a c cd n h ieu cam xu c p hirc ta p va
kh d n g ro ran g. T r o n g trtfd n g h p p n a y n h a th a m va n p h a i p h an
hoi lai ta t ca ca c ca m g ia c dd vd i m pt s y ro ran g, m ach lac.
3 14 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

VI du: C hi d an g bdi roi, viec chau khong biet bo chau la ai

khien chj dy nay. C hi m uon noi sit that v&i chau n h itn g chj s a chau
khdng cdn yeu chj n h it tn t& c. Chj m uon quen qua k h it n hitn g chau
lai hay k h a i g a i lam chj dau Idng; Chj khdng the xa chau nhitng
chj kho cha p nhan kh i thay chau qua giong anh ay, va vi vay chj
gian chau.

K hi th a n ch ii b a y to th o n g tin lien q u an den cam xuc, neu nha

th a m va n p h a n h o i th eo kieu lap lai th i cau p h an h oi n ay mang
tin h m a y m o c v a g a y ch o th an chu cam g ia c k h o n g thu'c vi kieu
n gon n gir "d au liroi".

- T h a n chu: T di thu'c s it rat titc g ia n v& i n h itn g d ita con ma

m in h lu on y eu q uy .

- N h a th a m van : C h j th itc s it titc g ia n v&i d ita con yeu quy

cu a m inh.

Thu'c su" la n h a th a m van khd n g nhan thay dirpc sir tire gian
cu a th a n chu kh i noi cau nay. N hir vay, khi th an ch ii dira ra thong
d iep th e h i?n cam xu c, tam tran g , n h a th a m va n can phan hoi
cam x u c va o d ieu “n h a th a m van d an g cam th a y P th an chii”.
N hirng cam x u c n a y th ird n g an dtfc/i cau n oi ciia th a n chii, doi hoi
n h a th a m v a n p h a i “lo i ch im g le n ”. P h an h o i k ieu n a y se giup cho
th a n chii v a ca n ha th a m van th a u h ieu dirpc va n de hp d an g noi
den. V a n vi du tren :

- T h a n chu: Tdi th u ’c s it rat titc g ia n v&i n h itn g d ita con ma

m in h lu on y eu quy.

- N h a th am van: C hj dang cam thay titc gian v&i d ita con ma

chj d a n h nhieu tinh cam cho nd. N h itn g d it& n g n h it dieu nay cang
the hien tinh yeu thitefng ciia chj v&i chau. Cd the khdng p h a i chi
dan g titc gian chau m d chj m uon chau lam tot han n h itn g gi chau
dan g the hien. Vi vay cd the chj titc gian vi n h itn g ky vong chj
danh cho ch a u m d chau khdng d at d ita c n h it chj m ong m uon.

T h a m chi m pt p h an h oi tot cim g co the de lai mQt k h o a n g im

la n g tro n g p h u t ch o c va n ha th am van co gcing cam n h an ve su- tire
gian m a th a n ch ii co th e phan im g vp i dura con ciia m inh.
C H U O N G 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 3 15

T r o n g m o t so trird n g h o p nha th am va n co th e p h a n h o i ket

h o p ca n o i d u n g va cam x u c de lam san g to m oi lie n h e giira noi
d u n g v a n d'e th a n ch u d u a ra va nhirng cam x u c an chira tro n g
noi d u n g do.

C o gai: C h a u b iet la cha u khon g nen g a p an h ay vi bd' m e

chau ca m nhw ng ch a u yeu anh ay.

N h a th a m va n co th e phan hoi noi d u n g, p h an hoi cam xuc

hay p h an h oi k e t h o p . Phan h oi th eo cach nao la tu y th u o c vao
cam n h an cu a n h a th a m van tro n g tin h h u o n g cu th e. N h a th am
van co th e noi th eo cac cach k h a c nhau:

N h a th a m van : C hau ca m thay chau khd n g nen g a p cau ban

trai vi bo m e cha u se khd n g d on g y nhw ng ch a u la i m u o n gap.

N h a th a m van : C h a u y eu anh ay nhw ng khd n g m u o n lam bo'

m e ch a u titc gian .

N h a th a m van : C h a u yeu ban trai cua m in h nhw ng g a p g d

anh ay la cho'ng la i y m uon ciia bo' m e nen cha u cam thay buon
vi khd n g b iet p h a i lam g i vao luc nay.

C ach p h an h oi tren giir cho cau tra lcfi cua nha tham van vira du
de kh on g xen lan qua dang vao cac qua trinh noi tam cua than chu.
Doi kh i n ha th a m van co the th a y dirpc noi b u o n sau sac h a y sir
tire gian cu a th a n ch u va phan anh lai cho th an chu. T u y nhien,
neu th a n ch ii chira san san g de ch ap n h an cam x u c n a y th i cau
p h an h o i cam x u c dira ra qua s6 m la k h o n g th a n h co n g va doi khi
con th a t b ai do th a n ch u d'e kh an g, ch o n g doi.

- P h a n h d i s o i scing

T ro n g cac h in h thirc phan hoi thi soi san g va n d'e cu a th an

chii b a n g cach loi len b e m at y thirc n h im g cam nhan vo thirc ciia
th an ch ii va la m sa n g to ch iin g la cach lam "cao cap" h o n ca. D o la
h in h thirc p h a n h oi soi sang.

V i du v'e p h a n h o i soi san g b an g n h im g giai th ich kem th eo

cau h oi gia d in h:
3 16 | Giao trinh Tham van tam li

- T h a n chu: V a ch o n g tdi d an g co n h tin g b a t d o n g . A , th e co

da co g ia d in h c h tfa ?

T h a n ch u d a n g co b u t xu c
m u o n d u p e ch ia se. N h u n g ve y Phan tich doan doi thoai
thu'c, th a n ch u la i sp n oi ra k h o n g
- Than chii: Va chong toi dang
dupe ch ia se vi ch u a tin tUcfng vao
co nhtfng bat dong. A, theco
nha th a m van . Y ng'am an cu a
dd co gia dinh chtfa?
th an chu co th e la: T o i d an g phan
- Toi chtfa lap gia dinh va
v a n lieu co co h ieu di'eu to i sap
chtfa co con. Tuy nhien, toi co
noi k h o n g ? N hifrig n g u d i tre tu oi
nhtfng hieu biet ve mau thuan
n h u co th i k h o m a h ieu dupe stf
gia dinh. Toi dd tting lam vi$c
p h ifc ta p cu a cu p c so n g v p chong!
v&i khach hang ve chii de nay
Co co th e noi h a n g d o n g li th u yet
dupe hpc tro n g tru d n g nhung vd dd cd nhting thanh cong
nhat dinh, vi vay ngtf&i quan
ch u a b a o g id la m vp ! M in h co nen
li ciia tdi m&i tin ttf&ng giao
m at th d i g id v d i co ta k h o n g ?
cho tdi giiip d a chi.
N eu n h a th a m va n co kin h
n g h iem , h a y n h a y cam se d ieu ch in h d u p e m o i q u a n ta m ng'am an
cu a th a n ch u b a n g ca ch soi san g n h u n g d au h ieu ng'am an, gian
tiep b en tro n g . C o n g h ia la n h a th a m v a n se h o a g ia i tam trang
ng'am an cu a th a n ch u, ch u y en h o a n h u n g ca m xu c, s u cam nh|n
ng'am an doi k h i la vo th ifc th a n h ld i noi:

N h a th a m van : T o i ch tfa lap g ia d in h vd ch tfa co con. Lieu co

p h a i ch j d a n g p h a n van ve v ie c k h o n g b ie t toi co the h ieu dtfQc
n h tin g d ieu m d ch i d a n g q u a n ta m ?

N h a th a m va n cu n g co th e p h a n h o i b a n g cach ch ia se mpt
p h an cam x u c cu a m in h v'e m oi q u an ta m cu a th a n ch u tro n g gidi
h a n ch o p h ep .

N h a th a m van : T o i ch tfa lap gia din h vd ch tfa co con nen co

the k h d n g d e h ieu dtfcfc h et n h tin g van de m d ch i d a n g p h a i trai
q ua . N e u ch i co s tf tin ttfQ ng & tdi, ch u n g ta se cu n g n ha u xem
x e t ttin g k h ia ca n h cu a van de. Tdi hi von g ch u n g ta se tim ra
d tfQ c ca ch th tic g id i q u y e t n h tin g kho khan m d ch j d a n g p h a i
d o i dau. V a y , d ieu gi k h ien ch i d a t cau hdi n h tf v a y ?
C H U O N G 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 3 17

N eu nha th am van chtfa co kinh nghiem h ay th ieu n h ay cam se

bj lu n g tu n g vofi cau hoi tren ban g cach co chim g m inh kh a nang cua
m inh. V a ket qua la gay cho than chu stf btfc bpi va co the kh on g co
cuqc tro ch u yen Tan sau. H inh thu’c phan hoi cam xu c dat den tinh
chuyen n gh iep va phan hoi soi sang (chu yeu la soi sang cam xuc)
dtfpc m pt so nha th am van gpi la phan hoi thau hieu h a y thau hieu.
H ien van con m pt stf tran h cai v'e ranh giofi gitfa phan hoi cam xuc
bac cao v a th au hieu. T ro n g kh u on kho cua tai lieu n a y ch ung toi xin
khong b an v'e van d'e tran h cai tren.

3. Luy$n ki nang ph a n hoi

T h a m v a n th eo q u an d iem th an chu trp n g ta m cu a C. R o gers
tap tru n g n h ieu v a o k i n a n g la n g n gh e va p h a n h oi. T ro n g k i n an g
phan h o i o n g tap tru n g htfcm g dan cho ngtfefi h p c b ie t each m o ta
nhtfng tir k h o a n oi len ta m tra n g cua th an ch u m a ngtfefi h p c cam
nhan dtfpc, sau do p h a t b ieu gian tiep cam n h an cu a th a n chii ve
th on g d iep noi d en v a p h an h oi trtfc tiep cam x iic lien q u an den
sy" kien do, cu o i ciin g q u an sat p h an im g ciia th a n chii de co stf
phan h o i la i tir p h ia th a n chii.
V i d y: M p t p h y nir 42 tu o i cho n ha th a m va n b iet:
- T d i lu d n lu o n p h a i so n g tro n g tam tra n g co d a n , k h o n g
a i tro n g g ia d in h q u a n ta m d en toi. T h a m ch i, c h o n g to i k h d n g
chu y d e n tdi, m a y d tia nhd co n tdi lu c n a o cu n g c h i y eu ca u
tdi c d i n a y , c d i no. Vd tdi lu dn ca m th a y k in h s a k h i m d i sd n g
th tic d a y .1
1. T a m tra n g ciia th a n chii lu c n a y n h tf th e n ao ? B i l& di;
khd n g dirQ c th o n g cam ; khdng d ita c p h a t huy the m an h; khdng
d ita c th w a n g y eu ; ca m g ia c son g vd nghia.
2. B an cam n h an dtfpc tir nhtfng th on g tin kh ach h an g dtfa ra la
gi? Tdi ca m thay than chii chim ngap trong s y cd d a n vd tuyet
vong, ca m g ia c ludn don nhan "dieu gi se xa y ra tiep theo neu sit
viec nay van tiep d ien han g n gay?"

1 Vi dy 1 va 2 lay tur vi dy cua Corey, trong Theory and Practice o f Counseling &
Phsychotherapy, Books/Cole Publishing Company, 1991.
3 18 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

3. Phan hoi t r y t tiep nhim g dieu b an cam nhan dtfpc tir nhufng
th on g tin th an chu dtfa ra: D u d n g n h it chj dan g tran n gap trong
s it co dcfn va tu yet vong v&i cam giac trong rong ve s it tiep dien vo
vj ciia cu o c son g m a ch ita biet lam the'nao d e c d i thien chim g.
4. Q uan sat phan im g cua than chu de co stf phan hoi tir phia
than chu.
M . D a ig n ie a u lt (2 0 0 2) tro n g kh i do lai ta p tru n g noi ve stf
p h an h o i th a u h ieu ciia ngtfefi trgf giu p (n h a th a m va n ). T h e o ong,
co nam each p h a n h o i th au hieu k h a c nhau:
1. G iiip than chii nhan th itc lai cam x iic m a than chii vita boc
lo: De th an chu ttf do kh am pha ban than, nha th am van can giup
than chu n h an thu'c dtfpc cam xu c cua hQ. V i d y, nha th am van noi:
- Co ve n h it a n h khd n g cam thay h a i Idng
- D it& n g n h it an h cd ve khd n g vui
- H in h n h it a n h d a n g cam thay m a t binh tinh
C ach p h a n h oi n a y g iu p th an chu n h an thirc d tfp c ca m xuc ma
m in h d a b a y to ra h o a c nhtfng cam x u c bi d e n en tro n g vo thufc
m a th a n ch u co tin h ne tran h .
2. G iiip tha n chii lam sd n g to n g u y en n h a n ciia s it trai
n g h iem ca m xiic: N h a th a m van p h an h o i tin h ca m ciia th an chii
k em vcfi npi d u n g g a y ra tin h cam do. C h a n g h an , neu th a n chii lo
sp v e d ieu gi do d an g de d oa anh ta; n eu th a n chii b u o n rau co
lien q u an d en d ieu gi do la m anh ta to n th tfP n g; n eu th a n chii tire
gian do d ieu gi do n gan can anh ta v.v.. K hi p h a n h oi n h a tham
va n chi ch o anh ta th a y "d ieu gi do" la n g u o n g o c sin h ra cam xuc
do. V i du n h a th a m va n noi:

- D w & ng nhw an h ca m thay b a t on k h i vcr anh thw &ng hay di

lam ve m uon .

- Cd ve nhw ch i k h d n g ca m thay h d i lon g m di k h i an h dwa ra

/ j •
y kien.

- Tdi ca m th a y an h d an g th a t vong vi con g d i ciia a n h yeu

m ot ngw &i m a a n h khd n g cd cam tinh v&i cau ay.
CH U O N G 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 3 19

3. L d i k eo th a n ch u tap tru n g va o ca m x u c n g a m an:

T h o n g th ird n g ca c th a n chu b a y to tin h ca m cu a m in h q u a h in h
thu'c n g o n n gir v a p h i n gon ngtf tre n b e m at n g o n tir, n en n ha
th a m v a n co th e lo i k e o an h ta ta p tr u n g v a o tin h ca m n g a m an.
V i du, n h a th a m v a n noi:

- A n h n o i s it v iec da qua rdi, khdng co gi la q u a n trong. Tuy

nhien an h da n o i ra t n hieu ve chii d e nay. H in h n h it an h d an g
gian ho.

- A n h n o i la m in h van rat yeu thit& n g ch j ay, n h itn g m oi Tan

nhac d en ten ch j g io n g anh thw dng gan len, co ve n h it an h d an g
titc g ia n chi.

4. D o n g vien , an iii than chii: Phan h oi to t p h ai tran h dtfpc

cac n h §n xet m a n g tin h d an h gia cua nha th a m va n va can giu p
than chu n h in n h a n v a n de th eo chieu h tfd n g tich ctfc.

V i du, th a y vi noi vcfi th a n chu rang: N eu an h da m a c H I V thi

khdng sa o cd the trcinh d w a c cd i c h e t”.

N h a th a m v a n noi: N e u anh lam theo ld i ch i d an , an h cdn

nhieu th d i g ia n d e th itc hien n h itn g m on g w&c ciia m inh.

H oac, th a y vi noi: K h d n g p h a i ca tham van n ao cu n g than h

cong.

N h a th a m v a n co th e noi: Tdi va an h se co g a n g h et site

trong kh a n a n g ciia ch iin g ta, tuy n hien khd n g p h a i bao g id
chiin a ta cu n g d a t d w a c d ieu m in h m on g m uon.

5. D a t than chii vao frqng thdi p h a v d s it cdn bang: Khi than

chii th a y m in h dtfpc th on g cam , dtfpc hieu hp th ay dtfpc an ui,
nhtfng doi khi cu n g co the dat than chu vao tran g thai p ha v p s y can
b an g co him , kh ieu kh ich b an g cach phan hdi qua len so vd i thtfc te,
lam d am h o n cam xiic ciia than chu. Sau day la vi du cua M.
D aign ieau lt ve m pt stf phan cong cua phan hoi cam xu c khi than chu
keu ca ve ngtfdi v p m u o n tim m pt cong v iec ben ngoai xa hpi:
- T h a n chu: N h itn g rig itd i p h u n it bay g id sa n sd n g lam tat
cd vi li d o d o c la p ve td i chinh.
320 Giao trinh Tham van tim li

- N h a th a m v a n p h an hoi: H in h n h it a n h th ich th& i ki nhitng

n g itd i v d c h i b iet d nha.
- N h a th a m van phan hoi d£m h on : T h a t khdng d e dang tiep
tuc lam n g itd i bao tr d cho m ot p h u n it khon g cdn m uon chju sit
bao trd n it a.
C ach p h a n h oi thu" hai n a y cho th an chu th a y noi lo sp cua
anh ta tro n g v ie c m a t q u yen k iem soat doi vcri vgf.
T o m la i, k h i sir d y n g ki n a n g p h a n h o i, n h a th a m van co the
d y a v a o tin h h u o n g th a m va n de sir d y n g p h a n h o i noi dung,
p h a n h o i ca m x u c h a y p h a n h o i k e t h p p . T u y n h ie n , cac cau
p h a n h o i p h a i d ien ta l$i d u n g vcri n h u n g gi d a n g d ien ra ncfi
th a n ch u , k h o n g k e m th eo n h u n g th ai dp d a n h gia. P h an hoi tot
se g iu p th a n ch u ca m th a y d u p e la n g n g h e, d u p e to n trp n g , chap
n h an , d u p e ch ia se... v a x a y d y n g d u p e m oi q u a n h e th am van
cofi m d , ta m tin h . KI n a n g p h a n h o i, d ac b ie t la p h a n h o i cam xuc
rat de d at d u p e sy" th o n g cam , k h u y e n k h ic h k h a c h h a n g chia se.
T u y n h ie n n h a th a m v a n can t£n d y n g s y p h a n d o a n k h i quyet
d in h lu c n ao la to t n h a t de sU d u n g ca c lo a i p h a n h o i tren . Trong
k h i g iu p th a n ch u d oi m a t v d i cam n g h i m a hp de n e n th i to t hon
h e t la ch i s u d u n g p h a n h o i cam xiic.

V. KI n A n g d i e n g ia i

rrl / • •a va i •X • •> •
l. Khai niem ve dien giai
D ien g ia i la s u p h a n tich h a n h vi, y n g h ia v a cam xu c ciia than
ch u tir q u a n d iem tiep can cu a n h a th a m v a n va d at d u p e s y hai
lo n g , ch ap th u a n cu a th a n chu. L di d ien giai k h o n g p h ai la "n hik
lai ld i ciia m p t con ve t", m a b a n g n gon tir cu a n h a th a m va n the
h ien npi d u n g cot lo i cu a th o n g d iep (k h o n g th em b d t) n h am cung
cap ch o th a n ch u m p t cach n h in v'e tin h tra n g ciia hp.

H ien v a n eon to n tai q u an d iem tran h cai v'e s y tru n g lap giua
ki n a n g d ien giai v a ki n a n g th au hieu. Ca hai k i n a n g n a y deu la
k et q u a cu a s y la n g n gh e sau sac va tap tru n g cao dp v'e p h ia nha
th a m va n . C h iin g d eu d y a tren m pt s y th au h ieu sau sac lo g ic npi
tai cu a th a n ch u . C h u n g deu doi hoi n ha th a m va n p h a n hoi
CH UO N G 6: Ki nang tham van tam li 321

n h u n g h ieu b ie t cu a m inh ve ch inh tin h h u o n g kh o chiu cu a th an

chu m a k h o n g b o su ng, th em th at dieu gi b en n goai vao. V a cuoi
cung, th a n chu d o n g y vd i stf li giai cua n ha th a m van . N h tf v a y ca
thau h ieu va dien giai deu la nhtfng ki nan g dap u n g sau sac npi
tam cu a th an ch u, tao di'eu kien th u an lp i cho viec dan dat th an
chu th eo m pt cach n h in nhan kh ac.

C ac n h a p h an tam h o c sir d u n g ki nan g d ien giai n htf m ot

cong cu can th ie p tri lieu ch in h, dac b iet tro n g giai th ich cac giac
mO. M ot so n ha tri lieu nhan thirc cho rang, vd i m ot ngtfdi co roi
nhieu lo au do co nhtfng n iem tin cO b an sai lam thi q ua trin h
th am va n du tiep can th eo q u an diem nao (tam d o n g hoc, nh£n
thu’c h a y m o t so tiep can li th u yet kh ac), n h a th a m van k i n ang
dien giai vi no co th e dtfa th a n chu den stf th a y doi. T u y n h ien ki
thu^t d ien giai cim g co nhtfng rui ro.

C h an g han , stf dien giai kh ien cho nha th a m van co ve nhtf m ot

“chuyen g ia ” va lam g iam tin h thtfc te cua m oi quan he (K leinke,
1994). T h em vao do, stf dien giai lam giam dac trtfng “tai d ay va
ngay b a y g id ” cua m oi q u an he tham van , tron g khi do lai lam tan g
stf tri thu’c h o a tro n g su ot b u o i th am van, do ca n ha th a m van va
than chu deu th ao lu an van d'e d bin h dien li lu an (Safran va Segal,
1990). V i nhtfng li do n av m a kh on g it n ha tri lieu n htf R ogers
(1970), B en jam in (19 8 6 ), K ahn (1991)... da kich liet phan ddi viec
sir d y n g k i th u at d ien giai tron g tham van. T h eo Carl R ogers, m ot
stf dien giai ve n g u ye n nhan han h vi ciia ca n han co the kh o n g bao
gid dat dtfpc di'eu gi n goai sir p hong doan d mire dp cao. C ach duy
nhat co th e sir d u n g la n ha th am van dtfa ra nhtfng trai ngh iem ciia
m inh sau kh i d ien giai. N h im g vd i quan diem tri lieu ciia m inh,
ong k h o n g m u o n d in h liu gi den ki nang nav.
T ro n g th tfc te, n h a th am va n co the sir d u n g stf dien giai,
n h im g co tiep th u h a y k h o n g la phu th u p c vao q u an d iem n han
thirc, trie t li so n g ciia th a n chii. V i vay, stf dien giai doi khi lai trd
th an h m p t co n g c\\ v o d u n g tro n g qua trin h th am van . Stf dien
giai chi co th e la co n g cu co gia tri khi n ha th a m va n x a y d im g
dtfp’c m di q u a n he tin ttfd n g vd i th an chii va hp th a t stf cd kien
322 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

thu’c vtfng van g ve mQt li thuyet trj lieu nao do. C h u n g toi cho
rang ki nang dien giai co the dem lai hieu qua tron g cac nen van
hoa co su" ton trQng "ton ti trat ttf", ton trQng stf day bao cua
"ngUcfi tren" doi vcfi "ngtfdi dtfdi".

2. Luyen ki nang dien gidi

M y c d ich cu a v ie c sir d y n g ki n an g d ien giai la:
- De than chu thay la nha tham van dang lan g nghe minh,
thau hieu nhtfng gi m inh noi, cam thay dtfQc chia se.
- D e t h a n chu n h in nh$n la i n h im g v a n d'e cot y e u ciia minh
m Q t cach ro r a n g , s a n g to h o n , co d Q n g horn.

- G iu p n h a th a m va n nhin ra van d'e ch in h ciia th a n chii la can

phai tap tr u n g va o di'eu gi. T ir dd, n h a th a m v a n cd th e dtfa ra
nhirng b tfd c di tiep th eo cho phu hQp.
- G iu p n ha th a m van b iet dtfQc m inh h ieu ro van de va cam xuc
chu dao cua th an chu nhtf the nao sau khi th an chii p h an hoi lai.
T rong qua trinh tham van, ki thuat dien giai thtfdng dtfQc sir
dung sau khi than chu da ke ttfQng doi d ay dii v'e van d'e ciia
m inh, nha tham van thay can chot lai van d'e ay de co the tir do
phat trien di cac btfdc tiep theo, h oac khi nha tham van muon
giup than chu hieu r 5 hon van d'e ciia than chu.
KI nang dien giai doi hoi mQt sd thao tac nhtf sau:
1. Lang nghe can trQng de hieu each nhin nhan v'e van de ciia
than chu (bo cac chi tiet rtfdm ra), phai xac dinh ro trong than
chu dang dien ra tam trang gi va cam nhan dtfQc tam trang ciia
than chii (tire gian, lo lang, buon...).
2. P h an tich stf kien :
- C hi ra ca m x u c v a q u y ch ieu n g u yen n h an g a y ra nd.
- X a c d in h v a n d'e ciia th a n chu.
3. D ien giai n htfn g di'eu n ha th am van cam n h an b a n g cach
cau tru e la i v a n d'e cu a th a n chii th eo cach n h in ciia n h a th a m van
de g iiip th a n chii n h in n h an lai van d'e th eo mQt h tfd n g tich ctfc.
D ien giai th o n g d iep b a n g n gon ngir ciia n h a th a m va n mQt cach
C H U O N G 6: Ki nan g th a m van ta m li 323

ngan g(?n va ro ran g hern th on g tin th an chu noi (lu u y sir d y n g lai
mQt so tir "d at" m a th an chu da dim g). T h o n g d iep cu n g b a t dau
vdi cac m en h de: d u d n g nhu, doi khi, co v e n h u ... (xem th em
chUcfng 8, p h a n p h a n hoi).
4. Im la n g , la n g n gh e s y p h an hoi cu a th an ch u.
Khi dien giai luu y kh on g ndi giQng khang dinh m a ldi dien giai
can m an g tinh Udm thir. Dien giai the hien s y th on g cam cua nha
tham van, vi va y giQng ndi kh on g to, kh on g nhanh, toe dQ ndi theo
nhjp ciia than chu.
NQi d u n g cu a cau d ien giai co the la cac s y k ien m a th an chu
de cap g a y cam x u c ch o th a n chu. N h a th am va n p h a i xem s y kien
ay dUQc th a n chu q u y ch ieu vao cam x u c gi? Ldi dien giai h o a c tap
trun g va o cam x u c cu a th a n chu tron g, va sau s y kien ay - V an de
cua th an chu la gi? C u n g co th e n ha th am va n to m I u q c lai nhirng
m oi q u an ta m m a k h a ch h a n g the hien . C au tru e cau m d dau
th u d n g duQc s y d y n g tro n g dien giai la: "Ban cam thay...",
"D tfdng n h tf...", “D ie u m a tdi vira n ghe ban n oi la ...”, “B an vita
noi v&i tdi la ...”, “T om la i...” V\ d y, nha th a m van co th e dien giai
van de cu a th a n ch u n h u sau:
T han chu: Tdi vita bj cau em ho ben chong lira tien. K hi tdi ndi
cho ong xa nha tdi b iet ong ay cha ndi gi cd. R o la d ac m ot giong !
N h a th a m van ; la n g n ghe sau do p h an tich s y kien:
- S u k ien g a y ra cam x u c tire gian d th an chu: Bi n g u d i em hQ
ben ch o n g lira tien .
- T h a n ch ii q u y ch ieu loi do vao n gu d i ch on g.
- C am x u c h ien tai: T h a y m in h bi ton th u o n g .
- V an de ciia th an chu: Dd loi cho chong tron g khi n gu di gay ra
s y kien lam th an chii bi ton th u an g la mQt ngudi em hQ ciia chong,
chong cua th an chii kh o n g he biet gi ve chuyen lam an cua hQ.
N h a th a m v a n d ie n g ia i van de cua th an chii:
- C h j ca m th a y tire g ia n kh i ngtf& i em ho ben ch o n g ch i lira
tien ciia chj. B a y gi& ch i cam thay m inh bj ton th tfo ’ng vd chon g
ch j la n g tf& i p h a i cd trach nhiem trong v iec bao ban cau em trd
lai tien ch o chi.
324 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

V I. Ki NANG XLT LI S\f IM LANG

l. Khdi niem im lang

Im la n g la sire m an h cu a tin h th an . V i no ch o p h ep than chu
n gam n gh i v e n h u n g di'eu m in h ch u a m u o n noi ra, con nha tham
va n co th d i gia n xir li tin h h u o n g th a m van . Im l§ n g la m ot cong
cu co ta c dQng m a n h tro n g m oi q u an h e th a m va n , xet tir goc d<?
trtfd n g th a n h cu a th a n chii. Im la n g lu o n la mQt p h a n , mQt ki
n an g tro n g q u a trin h th a m van , vi k h o n g p h a i lu c n ao m oi quan
h e th a m va n cu n g dUQc th e h ien va n h an b ie t b a n g n gon ngtf.
K hi mQt n h a th a m van lam viec vd i n htfn g th a n chii thuQC
n h u n g n en v a n h o a k h a c n h au , m a lai k h o n g co h ieu b ie t v'e nen
va n h o a do, th i n h a th a m van co th e cam th a y bi ap ltfc bdi stf
k h a c b ie t v'e ch u a n m tfc xa hQi, tro n g do co ch u a n m tfc v'e stf im
lan g. T a fo y a (19 9 6 ) cho ran g th d i gian tam n g im g (stf im lang) doi
v d i cac n en v a n h o a k h a c nhau thi k h a c n h a u . Di'eu n a y co nghia
la stf im la n g dtfQc d u y tri b ao lau tro n g m oi q u a n h e th am van
tu y thuQC va o nen van h o a m a n ha th a m v a n v a th a n chii thuQC
v'e. V i du, n gtfdi ta th tfd n g q u an n iem ran g n gtfdi M y b an xir dtfQc
coi la tra m la n g tr o n g giao tiep h o n so v d i n h tfn g n gtfd i M y khong
p h ai la n gtfdi b an xir, h a y ngtfdi A n h gitf dtfQc stf tin h la n g nhi'eu
hQn n gtfdi P hap. S ch w a rtz cho ran g va n h o a n gtfdi In d ian luon
ton trQng stf yen la n g , s tfim la n g n h tf la mQt th d i d ie m de ca nhan
p h an h oi va n d'e ciia m in h . N h tfn g cac n h a n v ie n co n g ta c xa hgti
d a tra n g lien tu c n oi k h i tro ch u y en vd i th a n chii la ngtfdi Indian.
V d i n gtfdi In d ia n , v a n d'e ciia cac n h an v ie n co n g ta c xa hQi da
tra n g la hQ k h o n g b a o g id n g im g "n oi lien th o a n g ", do la nhtfng ke
“noi tia lia ” .
Stf im la n g doi k h i chi la mQt th d i gian tam n g im g. no lau hay
m au la thuQC v'e m o i n en van hoa. T u y n h ien no anh h tfd n g den ket
q ua th a m van . D oi vd i cac nha th a m van , hQ co the cim g nen can
n h ac x em th d i gian ta m n gim g b ao lau ciia m in h de n h an b iet v'e
k h a n an g d u y tr i's tf im la n g tro n g ca th am van va cim g de tim ra
mire dQ th o a i m ai doi vd i stf im lan g ciia m inh tro n g ca th a m van.
C H U O N G 6: Ki nan g th a m van tam If 325

N goai ra n h a th am van nen can n hac th di gian tam n gim g co the

chap n h an d u a c ciia than chu. M u’c dQ d uy tri kh a n an g im lan g
cua th an chu co anh h u d n g den hieu qua th am van , xet tir goc dQ tu1
nhan thu'c b an th an va nan de ciia th an chii.
Su1 im la n g co th e tao n h u n g b oi roi va lam cho nha th am van
cam n h an v ie c can lam mQt dieu him ich n h at de lap d ay k h o a n g
trong nay. V d i n h a th a m van m d i vao n gh e th u d n g nhin n h an sU
yen la n g n h u la n h u n g p h an h oi tieu cu t. H q n h an th a y su" yen
lang tro n g b u o i hdi ch u y en n h u la n h im g th d i d iem kh o kh an , hQ
rat bdi rdi kh i th a n chii im la n g lau, do cho ran g s u im la n g ciia
than chu d o n g n g h ia vd i sU th at bai ciia nha th a m van . V i v a y khi
than chu im la n g - k h o n g noi h a y d o n gian chi la sU tam ngim g,
nha th a m va n co th e trd th a n h n gu d i noi n h ieu . D oi kh i noi chi la
de k h o a lap "k h o a n g tro n g sQ hai k h o n g co li do". M at kh ac, khi
kh on g d oan dUQc n h u n g cam xu c va cac m oi q u an tam co the
dang an ta n g tro n g s y im lan g cua th an chu thi nha th^m van
th u d n g lu a chQn cach th a y ddi chu de k h a c hQn la kh ai th ac sau
d e h ie u nQi h a m ciia s it y e n lang.

C au h oi d at ra ch o cac nha th am van la: VI sa o ca n h a n /th a n

chu im la n g ? H ay, H o im lang vi n gu yen nhan g i? V ie c n han b iet
li do im la n g ciia th a n chii co th e giu p cho n ha th a m van d u y tri
lien tu c dUQc cuqc th a m van , xet tir kh ia can h sir im la n g lam tan g
s y lo au b en tr o n g th a n chii, sir lo au m a d kh ia can h n a y co the
th iic d a y th a n ch ii noi n h ieu hQn ve mQt chu de va d k h ia can h
kh ac lai co th e la n g u y e n n h an kh ien th an chii bo dd qua trin h tri
lieu. N h im g k h o k h a n th u d n g gap d s y im la n g co th e lien quan
den v ie c k h o n g h ieu ch in h xac n h im g dieu m a th an chii ch ua
m u on noi.
Co th e ke ra cac li do im lan g kh ac n h au ciia th an chu m a
ch iin g to i da k h a o sat dUQc qua cac k h o a tap h u an ve th am van:

- K h o n g co gi d e noi, dau oc tro n g rong.

- K h o n g co k h a n a n g b ay to n<?i tam , h o a c la n g u d i n h iit nhat

k h d n g q u en tam sy , hoac k h o n g co th oi q uen ch ia se vd i
ngirdi kh ac.
326 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- S p di'eu noi ra se b j n ha th am van se cu d i, ch e trach hay

d an h gia, h o a c la m to n thiTcfng den ngirdi kh ac.

- N o i ra g a y to n th iron g cho ch in h th a n ch ii nen th an chii

m u o n giau , m u o n q uen di.

- S p n oi ra k h o n g dirpc ch ia se, h o a c th y c te da k h o n g dupe

ch ia se.

- N g a n n h a th a m van , k h o n g tin tu d n g d an h ta; h o ac moi

tru d n g th a m va n k h d n g g a y h im g thu.

- N o i ra sp n h a th a m va n h ieu lam .

- C h o ra n g g iu im la n g se to t h o n ndi ra.

- N g u d i k in d ao th ich n gh e h o n ndi; h o a c ch d ch o n ha tham

v a n ndi.

- C am g ia c k h o n g an toan ; h o a c k h o n g d u p e an ta m ; h o a c nghi
n g d d p n g cP cu a n g u d i g iu p dd; h o a c sp b j lp ch u y en .

- Q u a n n iem ra n g ch u y en ca n h an , k h o n g n en v a k h o n g the
noi ra.

- C h o ra n g do la loi cua b an th a n n en k h o n g m u o n n h ac lai.

- D o th a n ch u k h o n g h ieu gi v'e th a m va n n en chi ndi khi nha
th a m v a n hoi.
- K h o n g b ie t b a t d'au tir dau.

- Im la n g de th u gian lam diu x u c cam ; h o a c de n h a n loi.

- Im la n g de can n h ac, su y xet di'eu d jn h n oi, ch u a tim durpc tir

de noi; h o a c cho n g u d i k ia su y nghi.
- D o di'eu do te n hi k h o noi.

- Im la n g de th a m do h a y k ie m ch im g gi do.

- C h o ra n g do la so p h a n v a cam ch iu , ch ap n h an .

- D a n g q u a x u c d png, birc xu c nen k h o n g noi ra dirpc...

Su” yen la n g cim g co th e la m pt dau hieu cho b iet p h an hoi

tru d c do ciia n ha th am van la k h o n g co m oi lien he v di d ieu than
chu bpc b ach . N h a th am va n da “bo r o i” than chii va s u yen la n g d
d ay la h in h thirc lich sU m a than chii sir d y n g de noi v'e dieu nav.
C H U O N G 6: KT nang th a m van tam If 327

Than chu cung co the bay to su that VQng hay tu t gian vcfi nha
tham van, nhung stf yen lang thudng xuyen trong ca tham van co
the phan anh sy" b$c 1q mQt cach th y dQng su that VQng hay tu t
gian cua than chu. Vi du, trong dQt danh gia nang ly c tham van cua
cac tham van vien thuQC cac trUcfng giao dudng trong ca nude,
chung toi da du cac ca tham van true tiep cua cac tham van vien.
Co the trich ra day mQt doan tro chuyen cua nhan vien tham van
va than chu la mQt hQe sinh cua trudng giao dudng so 4 Dong Nai.
- T h a n chu: E m dd g o i dien cho bo m e em d e bao la 6 thang
nWa em se du'Q'c ra tra i va em m uon hdi bd' xe m em se ve que
hay d la i T h a n h p h o H o C h i M in h v&i chu em . Cir m di Fan nghe
g iong em la cd nhd d a p m ay, em khdng lam sa o lien he d w ac v&i
ho. E m lo q u a k h d n g b iet ra trw&ng se d i ve dau. C hu em ch a c
khdng m u o n em ve & nhd chu ay. B o m e em thi khdng b iet the
nao. K h d n g co ch o & em s& lai bi rii re rdi lai q u a y tr& ve trw&ng
m at thdi.
- T h am van vien: The em da tim cach khac lien lac chwa? N eu
goi dien khdng dw ac thi em viet thw cho bo m e xin loi bo me. (im
lang dai 1 phut)
- T h a n chu: V dng.
- T h a m v a n vien : N e u em nhan dw ac thw cua gia d in h thi
bao cho thciy b iet n he, thay trd m inh se tim ca ch g& tiep. (im
lan g hQn 2 p h u t)
- T h a n chu: V dng.
- T h a m va n vien : Cdn gi nWa k h d n g ?
- T h a n chu: K h d n g a. ( im lang m ot luc) em cha o thay em ve.
Q u an sat ca th a m van tren chiing toi n h an th a y tron g ca n ay ca
than chii va nha tham van deu la nhim g ngudi co kha nang giir im
lang kha lau. T u y nhien sU tinh lang nay khong he nham m uc dich
giiip than chii trai nghiem sau van d'e cua cau ta hay su im lang nay
dUQc hieu nhu mQt phan hoi tich cu t ciia than chii. Mat khac, su
im lang ciia than chii cung khong phai la di'eu kien cho s y suy
ngam ciia nha tham van de dua ra thong tin tiep theo co lQi cho
328 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

th an chu. Ro ran g k h o n g phai lu c nao stf k eo dai th o i gian im lang

cu n g d u p e xem n h u mQt ki nang cua n ha th a m van . V d i truting
hQp im la n g tren , ngtfdi quan sat co cam giac la n ha th a m van bj
"kh u n g b d tin h th an ".
C hia se vd i ch u yen gia giam sat th am van v e cam nhan cua
m inh vd i ca th an chu d u y tri stf im lan g qua 2 phut, th am van vien
noi ran g cam th a y rat lu n g tu n g kh on g b iet phai lam gi vdi than
chu nay. V a th am van vien n ay noi la chtfa g iu p dtfQc ch o than chu
v a kh d n g hai lo n g vd i ca th am van cua m inh vi kh o n g biet vi sao
than chu im lang. Stf yen lan g thtfc stf gay kh o chiu khi nhan vien
th am van k h o n g h ieu v'e no h o ac no dtfQc stf d y n g de chuyen tai
th o n g d iep v'e p h an u n g tieu ctfc h a y stf doi k h a n g th u dQng cua
th an chu. T ro n g ca th am van n ay than chu co the trai nghiem sy
yen lan g nhtf mQt " cuqc ch ien th am lan g", va ca n ha th am van cung
vay, ca hai deu la “ke b ai tr a n ” tro n g cuqc ch ien im la n g dd.
S ch w a rtz tu n g stf d ung khai niem "ki nan g h ieu nQi ham cua sy
im lan g" cu a ngtfdi trQ giup. Phan tich d oan doi th oai tren, neu
nhan vien th a m va n cam nhan dtfQc ran g stf im la n g lan thtf nhat
cua th an chu do ldi k h u yen "N eu g o i dien khdng ditcfc thi em viet
thu: cho b o r n e xin loi b o r n e " la kh o n g phu hQp, lam cho than chu
cam th a y k h o n g dtfQc hieu, kh o n g dtfQc g iu p dd thi nhan vien
th am van phai h oi v'e stf im lan g cua th an chu (vi im lan g keo dai
mQt phu t la k h a lau ), dai loai nhtfng cau h oi n htf "D ieu gi khien em
im lan g?", h a y "Em n g h i the nao ve g id i p h a p viet thu: xin loi bo
m e?", h o a c th am van vien co the hoi: "E m n g h i th e 'n a o ve viec
thay trd m in h cu n g g o i dien ve q u e cho bo m e e m ? ". N hirng cau
hoi n a y co th e co gia tri vd i tre va no se giai n gh ia dtfQc n<?i ham
cua stf im lang.
T h tfc te stf im la n g cu a th a n chu tr o n g ca th a m v a n ch o thay
n h tfn g ld i k h u y e n cu a n h a th a m va n (d ca tren ) da lam tre that
VQng, n h u n g tre lai b a y to stf th a t VQng b a n g im la n g . T ro n g
trtfd n g hQp n a y stf im la n g la dau h ieu th e h ien y n g h i cu a than
ch u k h o n g tr u n g v d i n h a th a m van . V a nhi'eu kh i n h a th a m van
c u n g sir d u n g stf im la n g ch o cam g ia c th a t VQng v'e b an th a n . Bdi
vi, n h a n v ie n th a m van y thirc rat ro ra n g viec tro c h u y e n dien
C H L fO N G 6: KI nang t h a m van tam It 329

th o ai m o t v a i cau vcfi con m a ch a m e cu n g tu1 ch oi th i v ie t th tf

cho co n la di'eu k h o thtfc h ien va th a n ch u va n h a th a m va n deu
cam n h a n d tfp c ra n g chcf d p i la th tf cu a ch a m e la m pt di'eu
k h o n g ttfd n g. D o k h o n g b ie t p h a i la m gi trtfd c stf im la n g q u a lau
cua tre n en n h a th a m va n d an h p h a i noi. N h tf v a v , v ie c ch o ld i
k h u yen cu a n h a n v ie n th a m va n th tfc ch at chi de k h o a la p stf im
l$ng keo dai cu a th a n ch u m a th oi.

2. Luyen ki nang xitli im lang

Khi n h a th a m va n n h an th a y th an chu d an g su y nghi, dan g
phan van v'e m pt di'eu gi do, nha th am van n en im lan g. Stf phan
hoi b an g cach im la n g n a y se cho p hep th an chu su y n g h i sau h on
ve van de cu a m in h . Stf im la n g hp p li cho th a y kh a n an g ton
trpng th an ch u la m p t p h a n viec k h o n g th e th ieu tro n g th am van.
Do ch in h la stf th e h ien ki n an g im la n g cua n ha th a m van .
K hi lu y e n ki n a n g xtf li stf im la n g cu a th an ch u, ch u n g toi
thtfdng yeu cau sin h v ie n ttfd n g ttfpn g kh i hp di xe d en n ga ttf
dtfdng p h o th i d en x a n h ch u yen san g m au dd. Hp can phai dpi 6o
giay cho d en k h i d en x a n h b at len m di dtfpc di. T ro n g 6 o g ia y n ay
chiing to i y e u cau hp gitf im lan g, nhin th a n g (k h o n g n h in n gan g
ngtfa h a y q u a n sat n gtfdi di dtfdng), th a lo n g ngtfdi v a cam nhan
ve viec dp i d en x a n h la trach nhiem ciia m in h . M ac dii k h o a n g
thdi gian c h d xe n g o a i dtfd n g k h o n g h e g io n g vd i viec yen lan g
cim g th a n ch ii v a co th e kh d n g th oat dtfpc y n gh i van v p rang
"k h on g b ie t co ch u y en gi x a v ra vd i hp?", h a y cam n h an v'e stf "bat
ltfc" trtfd c ta n g b a n g im la n g ciia th an chu, n h im g sin h vien deu
cam th a v "k h a la u " v a "sot m o t".
D e co th e "p h a ta n " dtfpc stf im la n g ciia th an chii, n ha th am
van can p h ai p h o n g d o a n li do m a th an chii im lan g, sau do cam
nhan va b a y to d tfpc m p t sd yeu cau sau:
• C h o p h e p th a n ch u d u y tri stf im la n g k h o a n g 30 g ia y (di'eu
n a y cdn p h u th u p c vao cam nhan cua n ha th a m van v'e kh a
n a n g im la n g ciia th an chii, k h a nan g "chiu d im g" cu a nha
th a m van va n an d'e d an g noi den).
• G oi ten ca m xiic m a hp d an g trai n gh iem .
330 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

• B a y to th o n g cam vcri sy im la n g cu a hQ. V ie c ch ap nhan

th a n ch u im la n g cho th a y n ha th a m vain k h o n g to mo
ch u y en cu a h(?.
• K h u yen k h ich hp noi ra van d'e cu a hQ b a n g cach noi cho
th a n ch u h ieu k h o n g vu i tro n g lo n g se k h o n g tot vi hp se
p h ai ch;u d y n g m Q t m in h va van de k h o n g t y m at di.
• C h o hQ th a y m in h m u o n g iu p hQ - kh i n ao hQ m u on .
• N oi v'e sy b ao m at cu a th o n g tin.
• Liru y: T ro n g cau noi lu o n phai co tir "im la n g ", hoac tir
"n oi", v i d a y la nhirng tir ch ot can n h an de ch o th an chii y
thirc v'e tra n g th ai tam 11 cu a m inh.
C a c vl d y v'e xtf 11 tin h h u o n g im la n g ciia th a n chii:
V i d y l. N eu n h a th a m va n cho ran g th a n ch u b u o n nen da im
lan g, k h o n g m u o n ch ia se, n ha th a m va n co th e noi: D di khi
n h u n g ca u ch u y en bu on lam ch u n g ta m u o n ch o n ch a t trong
Idng. Vi vay, v ie c giu: im lan g co the lam ch u n g ta ca m thay yen
tam . Tuy n h ien , ch u n g ta se p h a i chju d u n g dm th a m m ot minh
vd ndi bu on thi van h a n h ha ch u n g ta. T di h i v o n g cd the giup
d ita c chf v a i d i ndi buon. N h itn g di'eu ch j ch ia se se la bi mat
g iu a h a i ch iin g ta.

2. N eu n h a th a m va n ch o ran g th a n ch ii im la n g vi sQ noi ra
se bi coi th irdng, ch e trach h o a c la m to n th y o n g d en ngirdi khac,
n h a th a m v a n co th e noi: Tdi b iet la k h d n g d e d a n g d e cd the tam
su" n h u n g ch u y en tha m kin ciia m in h v& i ngU & i n g o a i, nhat la
kh i ch u y en do lai lien q u a n d en ch o n g m in h (h o a c bait ke ai dd).
Tuy n h ien , neu k h i nao ch i cam thay m u o n trd ch u y en cho khuay
khoa, thi tdi ludn san sd n g lan g n ghe tam s u ciia chi.

3. N eu th a n chii cho ran g gift im la n g se to t h o n noi ra, nha

th a m v a n co th e noi: N eu im lang cd the g iiip ch i q u en di du&c
ndi bu on h a y triit d u a c g a n h n an g trong long thi ch i c u g iu im
lang. T u y n h ie n , tro n g trU &ng h a p ciia ch i tdi k h d n g ch a c day la
m o t g id i p h a p hay. H i von g ch i se cdn n h a c d ieu nay.

4. N eu th a n chii d an g tro n g cau ch u y en b o n g d im g lai im

la n g, n h a th a m va n co the noi: Tdi hieu khi an h d en d a y la dd it
C H U O N G 6: Ki nang th a m van tam li 331

nhieu tin tu & n g va o chu n g tdi. N h u n g neu an h ca m thay c h u a

san sa n g ndi ve chu y en nay thi khdng n h a t th ie t p h a i n oi ngay
bay gi&. C h u n g ta co the n oi chu y en nay k h i nao an h ca m thay
that th o a i m a i cu n g d u p e .

T ron g mQt so khoa tap huan ve tham van bao hanh cho cac
tinh nguyen vien CQng dong cho can bQ phu nir, can b$ phong
giao dye, y te huyen D ong Hy, tinh Thai N guyen (2005-2006),
khi luyen ki nang im lang, cac anh chi da dira ra nhirng cach noi
khac nhau nhu1sau:

1. L a m o t ngU & i v a co du'c tinh nhjn n h u c tron g gia din h, tdi

biet ch j ra t h i sin h cho chon g, con. Vi vay, d o i k h i cd chu y en xo
xa t khd n g hay cu a a n h ch i van im lang bao ve anh. C h i cd m uon
chung ta n d i ch u y en v&i n hau m ot ch u t ve an h n h d ?

2. M a y hdm nay tdi thay chf cd ve ra t buon . Im lang cu n g la

m ot g id i p h a p tot, n h u n g im lan g cu n g se cd n h u n g b a t la i cho
chi. D o vay ch i cd the tam s u v&i tdi h o a c v&i n g u & i n ao k h a c de
cho th o a i m d i vd b& t n h u n g ndi buon.

3. C h a u a i, im la n g g iu m di & trong n g u & i the la khd n g tot.

H ay ndi v& i cd h o a c a i do de cu n g tim cach thao g& ch a u a. B ie t
dau ndi ra ch a u cu n g thay nhe nhom trong n g u & i.

4. E m r a t m u o n g iu p d a ch i n h u n g ch j c it im lang n h u the
thi em khd n g b ie t g iu p ch i the nao. N h in thay ch i c it dm ndi buon
trong lon g m d em thay m inh khdng the gid v& n h u khd n g cd
chuyen g i x a y ra v& i chi. E m hi vong s&m cd d u a c long tin de chi
san se b& t ch o em n d i bu on p h ien cua chj.

5. T d i cu n g b ie t a n h ay Id ngU & i k h d n g d en n d i n ao. Tuy

nhien n eu c h i k h d n g n d i v e n h u n g n h u a c d iem ciia a n h ay,
d a c b ie t la n h u n g v e t t h u a n g m d a n h g a y ra ch o chi, n h a s u
v iec nd q u a d i th i sa o .

6 . N e u ch i chia se v&i tdi h o a c ai dd ve d ieu d an g lam ch i im

lang thi ch u n g ta cd the tim d u a c cach g ia i q u y e t tot h a n la chi
cit im la n g m o t m in h n h u vay.
332 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

7. C h i b iet ran g lu c nay day em c h iia m u o n ndi ra. N hitng

lu c nao em m u o n noi, ch i ludn san sa n g , co n g v ie c cu a ch j d day
la tha m van va g iu p d d n h itn g p h u n it co k h o k h a n n h it em .
Su" im la n g thirdng xu at hien tro n g qua trin h lam th am van.
T u y nhien k h o n g phai b at cu" sir im la n g nao cu n g d eu la ki nang.
Khi th an chu im lan g, nha th am van no ly c k h a m p h a y nghia cua
sir yen la n g do.
V i du, n h a th a m van phan hoi sir im la n g b a n g cach dira ra cau
hoi: “B a n dd tr d nen yen lang m ot k h o a n g th d i g ia n rdi. Ban
dan g n g h i ve d ieu gi v a y ?”. V iec dat nhirng cau hoi nhir the se
kh u yen k h ich th an chu chia se y nghi cua hQ.
T ro n g trirdn g hQp khac, nha th am van co g a n g di'eu chinh
h an h vi cua th an chu khi cam nhan ran g su" yen la n g la do ngai
ngim g, e de, h a y b d n g d g a y nen va n ha th a m van cd th e noi: “ Toi
cd the hieu th a t khdng de dang d e e d the ch ia se n h itn g d ieu rieng
tit cua m inh cho n g itd i ngoai''. N eu n h an diTQc sir tan dong ciia
th an chu thi sir p h an hoi cua nha th a m va n da d in h hirdn g vao sy
n6 ly c k h a m p h a h a y t y n han b iet ve s y yen la n g cu a th an chii. Do
ch inh la ki n an g xtf li im lan g cua n ha th a m van .
C ac ch u yen gia th am van cho ran g ki n a n g im la n g co the
thirdng xu yen bi th ieu h u t tro n g qua trin h la m th a m van . V i vay,
nha th a m va n cu n g phai nhin cdi m d mQt s y th a t ran g s y phan
doan co th e la sai h o ac kh o n g phu hQp, do do co th e can phai
k h u yen kh ich th a n chii cam th a y diTQc tir do bQC b a ch de tran h rtfi
vao tin h tran g giu" im la n g do p h o n g ve.

V II. K I N A N G T H O N G D A T

1. Khdi niem v'e thong dat

T h o n g dat h a y con gQi la b ieu d at (sir p h a t b ie u va n de) la kha
n an g kh ai th o n g , p h a t b ieu r 5 ra n g van d'e ch in h ciia th an chii
n h am m u c d ich giiip th a n chii kh a m p h a van d'e ciia m in h .

T h eo M . D aign ieau lt (2001), th ong dat van de la tom tat lai

tron g m ot vai tir n h im g di'eu quan tam n hat ciia th an chii. T h e o ong,
sir th o n g dat k h o n g can can nhac dai dong, h ay lam phirc tap van de,
m a no chi la viec dat lai mQt cach de hieu va co trat t y n h im g gi nha
C H l f O N G 6: Ki nan g th am van tam li 333

tham van th a y du'Q'c va nghe dtfQc va stf bieu dat van de cua than
chu co the phat trien trong qua trinh tro chuyen. N h a th am van chi
can lan g n ghe stf b oc 1 q cua than chu va dat cho m inh mQt cau hoi:
"Than chu m uoi noi gi vcfi toi ve ban than va van de cua anh ta, khi
anh ta noi ve nhtfng viec da lam ?"
Khi th o n g dat, n h a th am v a n co gan g bQC 1 q no mQt cach nong
hau de th an chu cu n g kh ai th o n g dtfQc va n de cu a hQ. Y eu to n on g
hau b ao g o m tro n g no mQt stf te nhj. T at ca dieu n a y chi co the
xay ra kh i n h a th a m va n th au hieu d u n g n htfng trai n gh iem ve
van de v a n hu cau cu a th an chu. T ro n g qua trin h th am van , co
nhtfng lu c th a n ch u rat x u c dQng nen b a y to n htfng cam xu c cua
m inh k h o n g dtfQc ro ran g, th tfdn g lan lQn. N htfng chi tiet, stf kien
co th e cu n g bi d ao l(m va dan xen vao n htfng cam xuc. Stf th o n g
dat d im g cu a n h a th a m va n giu p th an chu th a y ro n$i d u n g cac stf
kien v a cam xiic ciia hQ. T ro n g trtfd n g hQp ngtfQc lai, n ha th am
van se p h ai ch iu d im g nhtfng stf dan vat, stf lo la n g h a y b u o n rau
cua th an ch u mQt cach b at ltfc.
M . D a ig n ie a u lt (2 0 0 1) ch o ra n g , th o n g d a t la mQt stf p h at
b ie u tin h te. V i v a y n o d o i h o i n h a th a m va n p h a i co n h tfn g k h a
n a n g sau:
1. To ch tic tot n h tin g thong tin thu nhan ditcfc: D ieu n ay doi
hoi nha th a m va n phai Ling nghe va quan sat each than chii im g xtf,
tap trun g vao th e gid i n<?i tam ciia than chii h on la nhtfng dieu b ay
to ben ngoai.
2. Van d u n g cd c kien thtic da co: N ha tham van stf d ung nhtfng
kien thu'c va kin h n gh iem de lam sang to van de co lien quan cua
than chu.
3. Tcich ba ch d it a c van de chinh: Khi n gh e th a n chii noi, nha
th a m va n p h a i co k h a n an g nam va n de ch in h tro n g mQt m d
th o n g tin ciia th a n chii.
V i du, th an chii noi: Docin d itd n g tit nha tdi den c a quan kha
tdi, n gay nao cu n g tac d itd n g khien tdi hay bi den c a quan m uon.
N h a th a m v a n th o n g dat: Van de ciia an h Id thu x ep th d i gian
vd o b u o i sd n g d e d i lam trong tinh hudn g ludn cd k e t xe.
334 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

4. N a n g ca o n a n g life cho than chu: N h a th a m va n g iu p than

chu th a y doi cach n h in v o n co b an g cach g iu p hg> n h an biet kha
n an g g ia i q u y e t va n de cu a ch in h h Q .
K hi th o n g d at n ha th am va n can phai b a y to thai d<? trung
thu'c, k h o n g ch iem doat va chan th an h vd i th an chu. Vi£c nha tham
van dap utig npi d u n g cua vain de khi th an chu th tfdng kh on g kho.
C hin h n h im g cam x u c cua th an chu tro n g h oan canh roi bdi, thieu
logic m d i lam cho n ha th am vain kh o dien ta b an g ldi. Ddi khi than
chu trai n g h iem van de cua m inh "tai day, n g a y b a y gid " lai khong
d o n th u a n chi nhin n han tron g kh u on kh o cu a m oi tn rd n g tham
van , m a nd cdn tiem an n h im g cam n han lien q u an den qua khir,
tro n g mQt k h d n g gian cua van de rQng ld n hQn. V i du d ud i day cua
mQt b a c si da ch ia se ve nghe nghiep ciia m in h se m in h hQa cho
dieu nay:
- T h a n chii: L a m b a c s i m a t cu n g khd n g d e d a n g gi. K i ni$m
lan d a u tien d ifefe lam ba c s i kham m a t d a k h d n g v u i ve gi v&i
chi. L d n d a u tien chf nhan m o t benh n han la m o t ba scf, bi dau
m o t ben m a t trai. B a ay da d au n h ifc con m a t tra i tn t& c may
tuan. T hay ben h tinh no tien trien n h a n h q ua , c h i so” no lai lay
sa n g con m a t p h a i, ch i da de n g h i ca t bd m o t m a t trai.
- N h a th a m van : Im lang lang nghe.
- T h a n chu: C hi cu n g da hdi dong nghiep, ho cun g ndi la nen
de n ghi so1 ca t bd ben m a t dd d i de tranh lay san g m a t kia. Horn
nhap vien thi cd du h a i m at. S au m ot than g nam vien ch i cdn mot
m at. Ttdi dd nhin scf chf da khdng d an h long. C hj da co gang rat
nhieu d e c if u con m a t cho scf. Dd la benh n han dau tien cua chi.
- N h a th a m van : C h i d a n g p h a n van lieu m in h q u y e t djnh de
n g h i ca t bd m o t m a t cu a scr dd th ifc s if la d u n g , H oac nha tham
van co th e d a y le n cao s y th o n g d at cho th an ch ii: Cd ve n h if chj
d a n g an han vi do m in h m d scf da bi m a t m o t m at.
C au b ieu d at n a y n g h e co ve kh a phu hQp v d i tam tran g ciia
th an ch ii. T h o n g dat nhu" v a y la hQp li. T u y n h ien ddi kh i van de
cu a th a n ch ii k h d n g chi d im g lai tro n g b oi can h th a m va n nay. Co
th e th an ch ii d a n g cam th a y van de ciia m in h rQng h o n . b ao quat
C H l/ O N G 6: KT nan g th am van tam li 335

hem. S y b ieu dat m a than chu d an g cam th a y tro n g tin h h u on g

nay co th e la m ot s y dan vat v'e n an g ly c ch u yen m on cu a m in h. Vi
va y co th e th o n g d iep m a than chu dtfa ra la: "T d i m & i ra trw&ng
nen c h iia co n hieu kin h n ghiem ", h oac "Toi da so” trach nhiem
nen n g h e theo ngw &i k h a c cho an toan". Stf b ieu d at n a y co the
phu h p p h o n n eu ta ltfu y den th o n g diep "benh n han d a u tien",
'Tan dau tien d w a c lam bac si", "da hdi ngW&i kh a c".
C ac n ha th a m va n ch u yen n gh iep ch o ran g rat k h o co the
luyen tap k i n an g th o n g dat. K hi m d i vao ngh'e, cac n h a th a m van
tre tu oi th tfd n g tim d en cac ki th u at, h o c kin h n g h iem cu a ngtfdi
di trtfdc h a y tim d en cac n gu yen ta c ch u n g v'e k i th u a t th o n g dat
de q u yet d in h noi, h a y k h o n g nen noi di'eu nay, di'eu kh ac. N htfng
nha th a m va n co k in h n g h iem th tfdn g co n htfng cach th o n g dat
khac n h au . M oi n ha th a m van deu co m ot kieu d ap tfng rien g va
trtfdc m ot va n d'e h o co nhi'eu kieu th o n g dat k h a c nhau. Di'eu n ay
the h ien stf lin h h o a t tro n g p h on g cach th o n g dat cu a m oi ngtfdi.
T h y c te cho th a y ki n an g thong dat kh on g doi hoi ldi le uyen
bac, lich thiep. V i v a y nha th am van co kinh nghiem thtfdng kh on g
quan tam tdi viec phai d un g ldi le cho bai ban, h a y th on g dat nhtf
the nao cho d u n g kieu. M ot thai do chap nhan, thanh thtfc va thau
hieu se htfdng cho n ha th am van biet phai noi gi va vao lu c nao. V i
dy, m ot nha th am va n co kin h nghiem lam viec vd i tre em thi khi
gap b at cu1tre nao va tron g hoan canh nao ho cung se b iet phai lam
gi. Di'eu n ay k h a c vd i viec m ot nha tham van cdn non tre phai chuan
bi trtfdc m in h se ndi gi, ch oi trd ch oi nao vd i du’a tre sap gap. T h on g
dat kh d n g th an h con g la do nha tham van dtfa y ttfdng, kin h nghiem
cua m in h vao cau chuyen, th ay vi phat bieu nhtfng di'eu nha tham
van quan sat th ay, n ghe thay. V i vay, khi m d i vao ngh'e th am van,
chung ta phai tim hieu m ot so kho khan va biet m ot so cach th ong
dat m a cac nha th am va n thanh thao eho rang kh dng cd hieu qua.

2. Luyen ki ncnig thong dat

Ky n an g th on g dat ddi hdi nha tham van phai san sang lang
nghe, th tf dat m in h vao vai trd cua ngtfdi dang ndi, phan tich va dap
336 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

ung n h u n g trai n ghiem cua than chu qua cac hien ttfpng co thyc.
Khi m u on th o n g dat van d'e cua than chu, nha th am van (ngtfdi hoc)
can xac dinh nhtfng kh ia canh kh ac nhau m a m inh cam th a y muon
khai th on g cho th an chu ro. T heo Linehan (19 9 7)1, ki n an g th ong dat
dtfpc stf d u n g vd i nhtfng ki thuat kh ac nhau, nhtf: stf ket luan v'e
nhtfng gi m a than chu the hien; stf giai thich tinh h u o n g ttf goc dQ
tam li, stf phat b ieu trtfc giac vdi nhtfng kin h n ghiem ttfpng ttf ma
nha th am van da co kin h nghiem tir trtfdc.
D e th o n g d at d tfpc tot, n ha th am van can ttf tap cach phat
b ieu m a ch la c th eo kieu: "Tdi cd cam g ia c ra n g van d e cu a anh ta
la ..... ". D tfdi d ay la m pt so kh ia can h m a n h a th a m van thtfdng
th o n g d at va n d'e cu a th a n chu:
- T h o n g d a t su" kien h a y cam x u c ?
T ro n g cu p c trd ch u yen , neu sau m pt th d i g ia n dai than chu
trin h b a y va n d'e cu a m inh, tro n g do n ha th a m va n n h an th ay co
stf lo n g va o n h au gitfa stf kien va tin h cam , th i kh i th a n chu ngim g
ndi, n ha th a m va n p h ai q u yet d in h gan n h tf ttf d p n g la m in h phai
th o n g d at stf k i?n h a y tin h cam . Di'eu q u an trp n g h p n la xac dinh
dtfpc stf k ien h a y tin h cam nao tro n g rat nhi'eu v a n d'e k h a c nhau
dtfpc th a n ch u ndi d en can th o n g d at trtfdc. V i du:
- T h an chii: N h a tdi hau nhu: giao p h o toan bo trach nhiem day
con cho toi, anh ay hiem khi trd chuyen hdi han con, nhw ng he bat
cu" chu yen gi khdng hay xa y ra v&i chau, chwa biet dung sai anh
ay cu n g trach m oc rang tdi la ngW&i m e khdng biet day con.
V d i cau ndi tren n ha th a m va n cd th e can th o n g dat lam sang
to cac stf k ien nhtf: "tra ch n h iem d ay c o n ” , "nhw ng ch u y en khdng
hay v& i c o n ”, h a y th o n g d at vao k h ia can h x u c cam ciia th an chii:
"khd n g h d i lo n g vi ch o n g khd n g q u a n tam t&i c o n ”, hay cd the
"khong h d i lon g ve sW th& a cu a ch o n g d o i v& i than ch u ", va cd
th e "Sw titc g ia n vi hay bf ch o n g trach m oc", th a m chi cd the
"K hon g h d i lo n g v& i cd ch in h ban than m in h k h i k h d n g kiem
s o a t d w a c van d e x a y ra v&i c o n ”...?

1 Dan theo M. Daignieault, Giao trinh mdi quan he tra giup , (Nguyen Phirong
Hoa va LuU Song Ha djch), V .1 Tam li hQC, 2001.
CHLTONG 6: Ki nang t h a m van tam li 337

N h a th a m van can can n h ac nen th o n g d at ca m x u c nao h a y

stf k ien n ao trtfdc, sau ? D ieu n a y h oan to an phu th u o c vao cam
nhan ciia n h a th a m van . T h eo kin h n g h iem cu a ch u n g toi, neu
than ch u da b a y to ro ran g v e stf kien va nha th a m va n da nam
vtfng ch u n g , th i nen th o n g dat - lam san g to cam x u c ciia th an
chu. C on kh i th a n ch ii noi rat n h ieu ve cam xu c, tin h cam thi nha
th am va n th o n g d at va o stf kien se lam san g to nhi'eu h o n van de
cua th an ch u. C on n h tf d vi du tren , ca stf k ien v a cam x u c th an
chii b a y to k h o n g ro ran g thi tu y vao b oi can h th a m va n m a n ha
th am va n th o n g dat.
- T ho n g d a t tap tru n g vao than chu hay va o n g itd i k h a c co
lien q u a n tro n g cau ch u y e n ?

N eu tro n g cau ch u y en cu a th an chu co n h a c den hai h a y

nhieu ngtfdi, n h a th a m va n nen th o n g dat van d'e ciia an h ta tro n g
m oi q u an he, th a y vi b a n den m ot ngtfdi kh ac. V i du:
T h a n chii: I Tom v ita roi lan d au tien ve tham bo m e cd dy em
m&i b iet ban em c h ita Fan nao n oi ch u y en v& i bo m e m in h ve
chuyen tin h ca m c 'ia ch iin g em . D ieu th a t b a t ng& la co m o t anh
lam tren tin h nhd & ca n h nhd cd dy cun g ra t y eu cd dy. Vd hinh
n h it h a i gia d in h ho d i lai v&i nhau ra t than m at.
T ro n g cau ch u y e n tren , th a n chu co ndi v'e v ie c ch a m e cd ay
kh dng b ie t gi v e th a n ch u, ch u yen ch an g trai kia, ch u y en tin h cam
cua cd b a n gai v d i th a n chu, v a vd i ch an g trai kia. T ro n g tin h
h u d n g n ay, n h a th a m v a n k h d n g n en hdi v e an h ch an g kia, cu n g
kh d n g n en h d i v e cd b an gai, h a y ve ch a m e cd ta. N h a th a m van
nen hdi v e th a i do, ca m n ghi... cua th a n ch u ddi v d i ch in h ngtfdi
yeu cu a m in h . C a ch d ap im g n a y se g iu p th a n chu trai n g h iem
n gay x u c ca m d a n g d ie n ra tro n g lo n g de y thirc dtfdc cac cam xu c
cua m in h ch in h x a c h o n . V i v a y n h a th a m v a n cd th e ndi: “A n h
ch a c kh a b a t ng& v e n g it& i yeu ciia m in h ” , th a y v i ndi: “ C au kia
ch a c k h d n g b iet d en s it ton tai ciia a n h ” hay, "B a n g d i an h cim g
luc d u y tri q u a n he v& i cd h a i n g it& i dan o n g ".
- L it a ch o n tit n g it d e thon g d a t
338 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

Tir ngiJ th o n g d at cu n g la m pt dieu h et sire tin h te. K hi thong

dat, n h a th a m v a n can th | n trp n g tro n g vi£c sir d y n g n gon tir,
k h o n g sir d y n g nhirng tir lien q u an td i sy d an h gia xa hpi nhir:
dirpc - k h o n g dirpc; to t - xau; nen - k h o n g n en ..., h o a c nhirng tir
th e h ien th a i dp d an h gia n h an cach cu a th a n ch u. N hirng tir nay
la m ch o th a n ch u ty v e vi hp p h ai b a o v e g ia tri cu a m in h .
V i d u, th a y v i n oi: “A n h k h d n g dii ca m d a m d e thira nhan
c h u y e n n a y v & i v& a n h ” , n h a th a m v a n noi: uA n h c h u a biet
n en la m th e 'n a o d e n o i c h u y e n n a y v& i u(T” .

H a y, th a y v i noi: "C h j cd n xem la i v e v a n d e g i& giac,

n g it& i ta n o i q u a ta m ba ba n , n h itn g ch i dd d en m u o n den 4
la n ", n h a th a m v a n noi: "C h i m u o n d en d u n g g i& n h u dd hen,
n h u n g c h i c h u a th u x e p d u a c co n g v ie c cd n h a n n en d a bj tre
h en . C h i cd cd n d o i g i& ch o p h ii h p p v& i lich cu a m in h ? "
C a n n h a c ly a ch p n tir de th o n g d at k h o n g co n g h ia la nha
th a m v a n ch o i b o t h y c te cu a th a n ch u . T r o n g th a m v a n , nhirng
lin h v y c co v a n d e, n h irn g s y k ie n g a y k h o ch iu ca n p h a i dyp c
d o i d ie n , ch u 1k h o n g th e d irp c la m n g p h a y d a n h la c h ird n g. Tuy
n h ie n k h o n g ca n th ie t p h a i n eu le n m p t ca c h th o b a o v'e mat
d a n h gia.

- T r a n h n d i n h ie u v e ba n th a n k h i th o n g d a t
C a c n h a th a m v a n la o lu y e n tr o n g n g h e n h ir L .E .T y le r, C.
R o g e rs, E .D . N e u k r u g d a ca n h b a o ra n g : T r o n g k h i th o n g dat
v a n d'e, nhi'eu n h a th a m v a n m d i v a o ngh'e la i de b i b a y to niem
ca m th o n g c u a m in h v d i th a n ch u , b a n g ca ch ndi v'e b a n than.
N hi'eu n gird i k h d n g tr a n h d y p c sy th d i th u c n d i v'e n h im g bien
co tr o n g d d i s o n g ciia m in h de ch o th a n ch u th a y m in h hieu
nh irn g tr a i n g h ie m cu a hp. C a ch la m n a y c u n g cd k h i thanh
co n g . T u y n h ie n ca n h a n ch e to i da v ie c n h a th a m v a n g ia i bay
ta m sy cu a m in h . V i di'eu n a y se g a y sy m p h o d th a n ch u , lam
la n lp n v a n d'e ciia th a n ch u v a n h a th a m v a n , la n lp n giira van
d'e d a n g th a m v a n v a v a n d'e d d i th ird n g. T r o n g th a m v a n , chi
n e n d a t tr p n g ta m v a o m p t ngirdi - dd la th a n ch u . V ie c nha
 C H U O N G 6: Ki nang th a m van tam If 330

th a m v a n b a y to v e m in h la m ch o th a n ch u co ca m ttfcfng th a t
b ?i v a ch o ra n g n h a th a m van k h o n g h ieu m in h , “ d n g ta cho
v iec cu a m in h d a n g ia n nhu: vi$c cu a o n g ay h a y s a o ? ” . D<5ng
th d i k h i th a m v a n , n h a th a m v a n k h o n g n en dira trird n g h d p
m pt th a n ch u trird c v a o cau ch u y e n , vi d ieu n a y de n a y ra d
th an ch u p h a n ufng t y v e v a lo sp ch u y e n cu a m in h se b j 1q ch o
ngirdi k h a c b ie t.
- D a p itn g n ha y ca m theo tinh hu o n g tham van
T u y va o s y n h a y cam p h an doan va kin h n g h iem th y c ti§n cua
nha th am va n m a an h ta b iet phai lam gi. C h a n g han:
N eu th an chu ndi anh ta kh d n g b iet b at dau cau ch u y en cua
m inh tir d au, n ha th a m va n co the ndi m pt cach ch u n g chung:
“A n h m uon b a t d a u tit d a u cu n g ditQ c, chuy$n con g vi§c, gia
dinh, b a t k e d ie u g i an h m uon n d i” .
N eu th an chu cam th a y viec den th am va n la b at b u p c, kh d n g
th ay th o ai m ai, n h a th a m va n co th e ndi “ C h a c a n h k h d n g thay
thoai m di k h i d en d a y n h i” .
N eu th an chu kh d n g cam th ay hai lon g ve n ha th am van d m pt
diem gi do: T re qua? K hac gidi tinh? N ghi n gd chuyen m on?... N ha
tham van cd the ndi ve kinh nghiem nghe n ghiep cua m inh, hoac
ndi: “N eu a n h /ch i m uon doi m ot n g itd i tham van khac, tdi se co
gang tim cho a n h /ch j m o t ngitcfi n h it y m u o n ”.
T h am chi n ha th am van cd the ndi: "Tdi chi cd the giiip d d anh
/ch i tot khi g iita chiin g ta cd d ita c s it tin tit d n g lan nhau, trong
tn td n g h a p n g ita c lai, chj cd the tim m ot nhd tham van k h a c”.
T ro n g trird n g h p p th an chii im lan g, n ha th a m van cu n g nen
b ay to th a u h ieu trirdc khi th o n g dat van de ciia th a n ch u. N h a
th am va n cd th e ndi: “ T di biet khdng de g i ch u n g ta chia se van
de tha m kin ciia m in h v d i n g itd i ngodi. Tuy n hien tdi n g o i day
la d e g iiip a n h / ch j. V iec ciia ch i ch i cd tdi vd ch i b ie t” .
H oac n h a th a m va n cd the ndi: “ C h i dd d en d ay ch a c la co
ch u y en q u a n tro n g m u o n chia se v d i tdi. N eu ch i ch ita the ndi
d ita c ba y g id thi ch iin g ta se d e b u o i sau, tdi cd th d i g id d e n g h e
c / if.v .v ...
340 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

K lein k e (19 9 4 ) cho ran g m ac du k i n a n g th o n g d at co th e giup

th an chu ta o n en nhirng tien bo vtfQt b a c n h u n g cu n g co m ot so
n g u y h iem k h i sir d u n g ki n an g nay. C h a n g h an , th o n g dat se
k h o n g th a n h co n g k h i cac n ha th am van du’a ra cac y tu d n g kinh
n gh iem cu a m in h va o tro n g cau ch u yen th a y v i p h a t b ieu nhung
di'eu m in h q u a n sat th a y dtfQc, n ghe th a y dtfQc. D ieu n ay khien
cho n ha th a m va n trd th a n h nhtf mQt ch u yen gia va lam giam di
tin h tru n g thtfc, k h a ch q u an tro n g m oi q u an h£. HQn ntfa, no lam
giam di p h a m ch at "d day, n g a y b a y gid " cu a m oi q u an h<? tham
van , tro n g k h i cd th e lam ta n g stf li tri h o a - cai m a cd th e xav ra
tro n g cuqc th a m va n - khi m a nha th a m va n v a th an chii thao
lu an v'e nhtfng va n d'e can th o n g dat.

VIII. k i n An g c u n g c a p t h o n g t i n

1. Khdi niem ve cung cap thong tin

Schw artz cho r in g cung cap th on g tin la stf chia se trtfc tiep v'e
nhtfng stf thtfc, y ttfdng, gia tri va niem tin cua nha th am van lien
quan den nhi£m vu can lam ciia than chu. Cdn N eu k ru g thi cho rang
do la mQt dap u ng cu ng cap cho than chii th on g tin “kh ach q u an ” co
gia tri m a th an chii kh d n g b iet v'e nd, th on g tin n av se tao dieu ki£n
thuan lQi cho stf hieu b iet v a stf ld n len cua than chii.
Cd h a i di'eu c a n t in h d e n t r o n g v i? c c u n g c a p t h o n g tin m a
Schw artz gQ i y: Dd la th on g tin lie n q u a n d e n c a m k e t lam vi£ c tro n g
q u a t r in h trQ g iu p v a n h irn g t h o n g tin m a th a n c h ii c a n cd d e h oa
g ia i n h tfn g c o n g v ie c h i£ n t h d i c iia hQ. V i v a y n h a t h a m v a n c a n djn h
h tfd n g v'e n h irn g d ir lie u th ic h h Q p d e cd t h e c h ia se v d i t h a n ch ii dua
tr e n v i£ c h ie u r o v'e m u c d ic h c u a t h a m v a n v a c u n g la m c h o th a n
c h u n fim ro v a n d'e n a y .

C ung c a p t h o n g t in k h a c v d i v i£ c m uon “ d a y ” c h o th a n c h ii mot

s d di'eu gi d o t h e o k ie u c d gan g a p d a t y ttfd n g le n th a n c h u . vi dieu
n a y k h ie n t h a n c h ii le thuQC v a th u d o n g d o c a m t h a y b i a p ltfc don
tir b e n n g o a i. N eu t h o n g tin c u n g c a p lie n q u a n d e n m Q t m u c d ich
th a m v a n d a dtfQ c c h a p t h u a n th i n h a t h a m v a n c a n t h o a i m a i ch ia
se n h tfn g d ir li? u m Q t c a c h trtfc tie p . Va n h irn g t h o n g tin c h ia s e chi
lie n q u a n t d i v a n de d a n g cd, m a k h d n g ca n th ie t n d i v e v a n de tro n g
ttfQ n g la i. Dtfdi d a y la m Q t v i d u n d i v e vi£ c c u n g c a p t h o n g t in ch o
mQt cap ch a \-tfa dtfQ c n h a n mQt b e g a i 6 t h a n g tu o i la m co n
C H lfO N G 6: KI nang th a m van ta m If 341

n u o i. C a p c h a m e n a y lo la n g v e v ie c s e tr o c h u y e n n h u 1 th e n a o vcfi
co b e n e u sa u n a y c o b e h o i v'e b o m e th a t c u a m in h . Hq sQ r a n g n e u
k h o n g c h u d Q n g n o i th i c o th e d e n lu c n a o d o tr e p h a t h ie n d o n g h e
h a n g x o m n o i v a n h ir v a y s e ra t d d c h o h Q . V i v a y c a p c h a m e n u o i
d a g a p c h u n g to i "x in y k ie n " .

- T h an chu: Theo chi, chung toi nen noi nhw th e'n a o neu sau
nay d ita tre hdi chung toi ve cha m e that cua no, h o a c no hdi chung
toi co p h a i la cha m e n uoi khdng thi chung tdi nen trd l&i the'nao?
- N ha th am van: M d i gia dinh cd n hitn g cach trd l&i cua m inh
ve cau hdi ciia tre. Chiing ta cdn nhieu th&i gian de' suy n ghi ve
cach trd l&i d ita tre cho thoa dang. Tuy nhien trd l&i tre th e'n a o
phu thuoc nhieu vao cach anh chf se nuoi day chau. B a y gi& chim g
ta se thao luan ve viec anh chj cam nhan ve chau. A n h chj cam thay
dita tre nay n h it la con n u oi hay coi chau la con de ciia anh chf?
N hir v a y , c u n g c a p t h o n g t in b a n g c a c h m d rQ n g v a n d'e trir d c
m a t d e t h a n c h u x e m x e t s e t o t h Q n n h i'eu s o v d i v i e c c u n g c a p
t h o n g t in la u d a i m Q t c a c h t r y c tie p , h a y d ira r a ld i k h u y e n m a n g
tin h k in h n g h ie m c u a n h a t h a m v a n . K h i c u n g c a p t h o n g t in n h a
th a m v a n t o n trQ n g y k ie n c u a t h a n c h u , d § c b ie t k h i c o y k ie n b a t
d o n g q u a n d ie m .

D ao du'c n gh e n gh iep chi ro rang "than chu chiu trach nhiem

ve quyet d in h cua hQ", h a y "ton trQng y kien cu a th an chu". V i vay,
khdng cd li do gi n h a th am van ap dat th on g tin cho th an chu, ngay
ca khi b iet ch ac la nd dung. N h a tham van cd the cd nhirng trai
nghiem tro n g cuqc so n g va thu dUQc nhi'eu th an h con g khi im g
d yn g ch u n g va o cac h o a n canh kh ac n hau ciia ddi son g ca nhan
m inh. T u y n h ien se la th at b ai khi cd gan g th u yet p h u c th an chu v'e
tinh gia tri cu a th o n g tin m an g tinh chu quan cua n ha th am van. V i
niem tin vao di'eu gi do cua nha th am van kh d n g phai lu c nao cung
giong vd i th a n chii. V i v a y viec cu ng cap th o n g tin cho th an chii
bang cach ndi: "chi n en ...", "anh phai....", "chac chan la..." thirdng
kh d n g p h ai la sir b ieu thi ciia ki nang cu ng cap th o n g tin, m a nd la
cho ld i kh u yen . D ac b iet vd i nhirng nha th am van m d i vao ngh'e, hQ
thirdng ca m th a y can thiet the hien s y th an h tam ciia m in h vd i
th an ch ii nen co g a n g th u yet phuc th an chii ve y n gh ia ciia th o n g
tin in a hQ cu n g cap cho than chu. B ang viec stf d u n g ki n an g cung
342 Giao trinh Tham van tam fi

cap thong tin, nha tham van se giup than chii chju trach nhiem vcfi
nhim g quyet djnh cua hp.
Xem xet nhtfpc diem cua vi$c cung cap thong tin va cho than
chu ldi khuyen dirpc N eukrug chi ra rang du chung it nhieu se
chuyen trpng tam cua buoi tham van tir than chii sang nha tham
van va co kha nang chira dyn g nhtfng tieu c y t ti'em tang doi vdi
moi quan h? tham van. Bang dtfdi day (dan theo N eukrug 1999)
cho thay s y cung cap thong tin va cho lcfi khuyen co kha nang gay
hai tiem an cho than chu nhtf the nao.
Kha ndng gay hai ti§m 3n cua su* cung c ip
thong tin va cho lai khuyen

Hinh
thu'c dap Dinh nghia Kha n&ng gay hai tiem an
urng
C u n g cftp Mot dap ung cung Cho rang nhi tham van co mQt
th o n g t in cap cho than chu s5 thong tin dang gia ma than
thong tin “khach chu can va dtfa nha tham van
quan” co gia trj m i len tam mQt chuyen gia, chi lim
than chu khfing biet ting k h i nang phy thuoc cua
ve no, thong tin nay than chu vio moi quan he tham
se tao dieu kien van. Sy no ltfc ciia nhi tham
thuan lpi cho stf hieu van doi khi khong thanh cong,
biet va stf ldn len ciia khong chira dyng gia trj vi
than chu. thtfcfng thi than chu da biet cac
thong tin dtfpc cung cap.
^ |

Cho MQt d ip ung gpi y Dtfa nha trj lieu len nh tf mQt |
l& i cho than chu rang chuyen gia. Cho ring nhi trj
khuyen nha tham van la li?u co giai phap va cung vdi no
mQt chuyen gia v i la kha nang cho viec phat trien
dang nim giir giai mQt moi quan he phu thuQC C6
phap ciia van de. the li nhirng van de k iem soat
bat chudc co n gu o n g o c ttf gia
dinh (vi du vi£c cho ld i khuyen
ciia cha me). La mQt dap tfng
co gia tri.
C H U O N G 6: Ki nang t h a m van ta m If 343

D ac b iet kh i n ha th a m van htfd n g vao v ie c ch o lcfi k h u yen thi

m oi q u an h e th a m va n tap tru n g h o n vao n ha th a m van . D ieu n ay
se lam ch o cach thu’c p h a n u n g cua nha th a m va n trd nen n a n g ne
h o n kh i th a n ch u k h d n g hu’d n g ung. V i vay, du b a t ki dap u n g nao
cung nen can cu" va o stf h ieu b iet can th an ve n h u cau cu a th an
chu va can n h a c tin h h ieu q u a doi vd i th an ch u (D o yle, 1992).
T h o n g q u a k in h n g h iem trp giu p cua m in h , S ch w a rtz ndi r in g
dng n h an th a y n htfn g n gtfdi la m co n g ta c tr p g iu p th tfd n g vd d oan
ve nhtfng van de h o cam th a y kh d n g ch ac c h in . C h in h vi vay,
cu ng cap th o n g tin k e m th eo nhtfng n iem tin v a k in h n g h iem chu
quan th tfd n g b ien n h a th a m va n trd th a n h n htfng ngtfdi d on g vai
trd cha m e, th a y cd, ngtfdi ld n b ao ban , d a y do "con tre".

2. Luyen ki nang cung cap thong tin

N hin ch u n g cac n h a th am van ch uyen n gh iep th tfdng cam th ay
e ngai khi ch ia se nhtfng lo ngai va gia tri cu a m in h do s0 anh
htfdng den th a n ch u, sp th an chu cam th a y k h o kh an kh i dtfa ra
quyet d jn h cu a m in h . V i d y sau d ay cho th a y nha th a m van da stf
d yn g ki n an g tro n g v ie c cu n g cap th on g tin v a tran h cho ldi kh u yen
nhtf the nao. C au ch u yen ve m pt th an chu ntf m u o n di du hpc ttf
tuc d cap b a c tien si de "dut diem ch uyen hpc h a n h cu a m in h". Khi
cd dtfa va n d e ra th a o lu an vd i ngtfdi yeu, da cd stf b at d on g y kien
gitfa hai ngtfdi. Q u ve t djnh cua th an chu cd v e g a y ra cam g ia c "bi
bd roi" d cau ngtfdi yeu . Stf gian ddi, ttf ai la m cho hp kh d n g the
thao lu an dtfpc v d i nhau. T h an chu gap nha th a m van ch ia se. Sau
khi ke cau ch u y en cu a m inh, th an chu hdi n ha th a m van:
- T han chu: N eu cd & trong hoan canh cua chau, cd se lam g i?
- N h a th a m va n : C h a u d a t cho cd cau hdi th u ’c su" k h ien cd
ra i vao tinh ca n h kho khan . Cd khd n g p h a i la ch a u vi vay cd
khdng b ie t ch u y e n h o c ha n h & ben dd nhu: th e 'n a o va va n d e gia
d inh co y n g hia k h a c n hau doi v& i m di ch u n g ta. Cd c h iia titn g
ra i va o ho a n ca n h d e n git& i yeu ch& d a i them v d i n am nen cd
khd n g d o a n d it a c d ieu g i cd the x a y ra v& i ban ciia ch a u vd lieu
cd "tai n a n " n a o x a y ra k h i h a i n g ii& i xa ca ch khd n g . Cd khdng
hieu n h itn g kho k h a n m d cd se gap p h a i k h i h o c & m t& c n goai.
Cd k h d n g p h a i Id ch a u vi vay ba't c it q u y e t d in h n a o d ita ra cd
ciin g kh d n g p h a i g d n h hau qua neu cd. N h itn g vi cdu h d i nay cd
344 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

y n g h ia v& i ch a u nen co chia se d ieu co biet. D e d a t d u a c hqc vi

tien si thi co n g stic, tri tu e cu n g n h u tinh cam p h a i bo va o do rat
nhieu . L a m tien si tron g d ieu kien p h a i tit kiem so n g & nu&c
n g o a i d o k h d n g co h o c bong, lai khd n g co ngU & i than g iu p d d va
u ng ho thi tam tra n g se ludn ca n g th a n g , d ieu nay co anh hu&ng
d en k e t q u a lu an an va s tic k h o e tam li. M o t so' n g u & i v u a t qua
d u p e n h tin g c h u & n g n g a i nay, n h u n g n h ieu n g u & i k h a c khdng
lam d u a c . N e u ch a u q u y e t d in h d i du h o c thi ta se xem x et titng
k hia ca n h Uu va nhU Q c cua q u y e t d in h nay. N h ie u n g u & i khi
d tin g trrU&c m o t q u y e t din h qua n tron g lien q u a n t&i n g u & i khac
thi g itia ho th u & n g cd cu o c thao luan cim g n hau . Vi vay cd cho
rang cau trd l&i d i hay khd n g cu a cd k h d n g cu n g ca p d u q c
th o n g tin g i cho chau.
N hu 1 v^y, trirdc nhirng cau h oi te nhi cu a th a n ch ii lien quan
td i q u an d iem , n h a n thu'c, h a n h vi ca n h an , n h a th a m va n khong
n en k im n en s y b a y to ca n h an b an g cach "d a" tra lai cau hoi cho
th an ch u th e o k ie u "th e cha u se lam g i tron g h o a n ca n h nay", ma
can sir d u n g k i n a n g cu n g cap th o n g tin (ki n a n g ch o ld i khuyen)
d e g iu p th a n ch ii k h a m p ha m pt cach chi tie t n hirn g q u yet djnh
cu a h o v d i nhirng ta c d o n g v a nhirng cam x u c cd n m ap m d.
D e cu n g cap th o n g tin cho th a n chii m o t ca ch cd ki nan g, can
xem x et m o t so ye u cau sau:
- Khi cu n g cap th o n g tin nha th am van can lam ro nhirng thong
tin m an g tin h k h a ch quan - sir ki?n vd i nhirng th on g tin m an g tinh
nhan thu'c, p h d n g d oan chu q u an cua n ha th am van. V i du nha tham
van can y thu’c ro cau ndi cua m inh: "Tdi n g h i la...", "T oi tin la...",
"Tdi cho rang..." v.v... k h a c vd i cau ndi: "T h u c te cho thay...", "Tdi
nhin thay", "O ng X cho rang...". S y phan b iet th o n g tin giua thu'c te
v a gia d in h g iu p th an chu cd dupe n iem tin vao n ha th am van va
giup th an chu p h a n tich d u lieu de dua ra quyet dinh ciia m inh cho
phu h p p , ch in h xac.
- N h a th a m v a n can ch o th a n chu th a y ra n g h o cd q u y en ve
vi^c n en h a y k h d n g n en lam th eo chi dan. V i d y : "Q u y en lita chon
la & chi. T di hi v o n g ch j se cdn n h a c n h tin g th o n g tin tdi d u a ra
tit n h tin g k in h n g h iem ciia ngU &i k h a c d e ch i cdn n h a c trrU&c khi
d i d en m o t q u y e t d in h cho m in h".
C H l f O N G 6: Ki nang th a m van tam If 345

- N h a th a m va n co the noi ro cho th an chu th a y q u an diem

cua m in h h a y cu a n h ieu ngUcfi tro n g xa hqi, nhtfng lu o n can h bao
de th a n ch u y thu'c v e "ca i ciia m in h" k h a c vcfi "ca i ciia ngu"&i
khac", h a y " n g itd i ta la n g itd i ta ", "n g itd i ta khd n g p h a i la
m inh"...; k h u yen k h ich ho ch ia se va ttf chju trach nhi£m ve han h
dong cu a m in h.
- Q u a trin h cu n g cap th o n g tin trd nen co y n gh ia kh i nha
tham va n th a ch thu'c th a n chu tru d c cac th o n g tin d ua ra, vi no
giup th a n chu d u o n g dau to t van de cua ho. M at kh ac, vi£c giu p
than chu d oi d i?n v d i cac th o n g tin se tran h ch o h o ro i va o tran g
thai im l£ng th y d on g.
V i d y , n h a th a m v a n cd th e hdi: "A nh ca m thay th e 'n a o ve
n hitn g th o n g tin tdi v ita d ita ra?", "Co ve ch i khd n g tan thanh
nhitn g d ieu tdi v ita noi. Vay ch i nhin n han nd n h it th e 'n a o ? ",
"Cd d ieu g i ch i th a y c h ita on trong cd c d ieu tdi v ita n o i? ” .
H oat d o n g th a m va n th u d n g n g h ien g ve giai q u yet van de
thtfc tien , vi v a y n h a th a m van can cu n g cap th o n g tin h u d n g den
cach giai q u y e t v a n de th eo quan d iem "than chu tro n g tam " h o n
la dua ra ca c th o n g tin m a n g tin h li lu£n h a y ch o ld i k h u yen

IX. KI NAN G B 0 C L 0 BAN THAN

l. Khdi niem bgc Iq ban than

Thaoluan
B oc lo b a n th a n n g h ia la n ha th a m
van ch ia se th o n g tin ca n h an h a y - Hay phan tich nhitng
nhtfng cam xu c, s u y n g h i cu a m in h vd i diem lcfi va bat lcfi khi nha
than ch u tro n g q u a trin h th a m van . tham van tit boc lo ban
D ieu n a y g io n g n h tf n h a th a m va n dtfa than minh cho than chu.
ra nhtfng k in h n g h iem tu tig trai cu a - N hitng dau hieu nao
m inh de g iu p th a n ch u vtfdt q u a m ot cho thay nhd tham van
nan de h a y m o t ca m x u c nao do. can boc lo ban than cho
K o ttle r va B ro w n (19 9 6 ) goi k i n an g than chu?
b o c Id b an th a n la “ttf cd i m d ” va d in h
n g h ia la “Stf ch ia se cac kh ia can h cai tdi de la m ta n g len m oi
q u a n h e v a stf ch u y e n d ich thu£n lo i” .
346 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

T h e o R o g ers (19 5 7), m y c d ich cu a t y b p c lp b an th a n khong

p h a i ch i de n h a th a m va n b a y to h a y n oi ra ca m g ia c cu a b an than
m in h , n h im g cai ch in h la h o k h o n g n en lira d oi th a n ch u cu n g nhir
b an th a n hQ. N h a th a m va n d oi k h i co th e co n h u cau noi vai dieu
v e cam g ia c cu a an h ta v d i th a n chu, chi co d ieu can co g id i han va
co ich ch o sir lcfn m a n h cu a th an ch u. Stf b p c lp cu a n h a th am van
p h ai tru n g thu'c, tru n g thtfc vd i nhtfng cam x u c m a n g den cho
th an ch u . Stf tie t lp m p t so va n de mQt cach tru n g th tfc cd the tao
th u a n lQi ch o th a n ch u cd i m d v a cd th e la h in h m au ch o nhtfng
h a n h vi tich ctfc cu a th a n chu. N goai ra stf b p c lp, ch ia se ban than
ch i n en d tfp c th tfc h i§ n kh i ca nha th am va n v a th a n chu hai long
v e n h au v a cd m p t stf g a n gui.
N h tf v a y m u c d ich cua ttf cdi m d do la de nhan thu’c va cung la
de th u c day. T h a n chu cu ng can biet nhi'eu h o n v'e stf bpc lp cua nha
th am van nhtfng nha th am van can ltfu y de sir d y n g stf ttf bpc lp nay
nhtf m pt k i th u at th i m d i cd the giup ich dtfpc cho th an chu vi “mac
du tiet lp b an th a n co the quan trpng va giu p ich cho than chu
(K leinke, 1994; P en n eb aker- C older and Sharp, 1990, Pennebaker
v a Su sm an , 1988).
E va n s, H e arm , U h le m a n n , Ive y (19 9 3 ) cu n g cho r in g bpc 1q
b a n th a n ca n p h a i d tfpc sir d u n g h a n che, va o th d i d iem thich
h p p . V a ch i k h i no la phtfOng ti£n cho stf ld n m a n h ciia th an chii,
m a k h o n g p h a i de th o a m an n h u cau b a y to b an th a n ciia nha
th a m van . C a n h a n ch e vi£c b p c lp ca c th o n g tin ca n h a n khi nha
th a m v a n d a n g tro n g ta m tra n g "cao h u n g ".
R o g ers d a k h u y e n cao n h a th a m v a n k h d n g nen chia se
n hirn g cam x u c n h a t th d i v d i th a n chu. M a th a y vi ch ia se nhtfng
cam x u c tr o n g tim g th d i d iem , o n g d'e x u a t vi§ c ch ia se nhirng
ca m x u c lie n tu c cd lie n q u a n d en stf tien bp, stf trtfd n g th a n h cua
th a n ch u, v i n h tfn g ca m x u c n a y ta o n en stf th a n th ie t, gan gui va
cd y n g h ia h o n d oi v d i m oi q u an h£ th a m van.
K hi n h a th a m va n ttf b p c lp b an th an se g iu p ch o th a n chii cam
nh an v e gia tri h a y an h h tfd n g ciia hp len n ha th a m van . G iu p than
chu n h an th a y stf trao doi th o n g tin ca n han tro n g tim g th d i diem
cd th e n a n g cao m oi q u an h£ tin ttfdng va g iu p th an chii h p c dtfpc
cach giao tiep trao doi th o n g tin vd i m pi ngtfdi m pt cach ttf tin.
Hi£u q u a tich ctfc ciia vi£c ttf bpc lp cua n ha th a m va n v'e nhtfng
C H U O N G 6: KI nang th a m van tam If 347

c a m n h $ n d o i vofi t h a n c h u s e n a n g c a o t in h t h a n p h a n c h a n v i stf
tie n b o c u a t h a n c h u dtfQ c th ira n h $ n of n h a t h a m v a n .

X em xet kh ia canh trun g thtfc trong ttf b o c 1q ban than, Carl

Rogers cho ran g nha th am van nen song thtfc vcfi cam xu c cua m inh
khi chia se vcfi than chu. Se la toi t? khi nha th am va n v d v|t ve
nhtfng trai n ghiem cua ban than h ay ttf noi nhtfng cam ttfdng cua
m inh ve than chu tro n g khi thai do va han h vi kh on g lcfi cua nha
tham van kh on g toat len tinh than do. Dieu n ay doi khi xuat phat tir
stf m ong m uon lam yen long cua nha tham van trtfdc noi dau cua
than chu. V i d y, n ha th am van b oc 1q ve stf co d on cua m inh trong
qua khir khi cam th a y th an chu qua dau kh o ve qua kh ir co d on cua
minh. Thtfc te n ha th am van kh on g he co stf dau kh o nao tron g qua
khir nhtfng anh ta ttfb ia nhtf v a y nham giup th an chu v o i di noi long
vofi tin hi<?u la "toi hieu tam tran g cua anh", ran g "anh kh o n g phai la
ngtfofi d u y nhat tren dofi bi dan v§t ve stf co d on nay". C ach ttf b oc 1q
theo kieu "an theo" n a y sdm m uon cung bj th an chu phat hi<?n va
gan m ac la "do gia doi". V a nhtf v^y, m oi quan h£ th am van se trd
nen xO cim g va m at tin ttfdng tir phia than chu.
M at k h a c, stf b o c lo b an th an neu k h o n g dtfdc sir d y n g phu
h op se la m m at tin h ch at "than chu tro n g tam " v a ch u y en san g
th an h "n h a th a m va n la tro n g tam ". N goai ra, v i?c nha th a m van
ttf b o c lo b an th a n n eu k h o n g lan h m an h se g a y ra stf ay nay, h a y
stf kh o ta m d th a n ch u. D a y la stf b o c lo dtfQc gQi la “th ie u dao
du’c ” cu a n h a th a m van .
V i du, n h a th a m va n ch ia se ve ndi b a t h a n h cu a m in h cho
th an chu n h a m la m ch o chi ta b d t dau kh o. Sau k h i n gh e xo n g
ch u yen cu a n h a th a m van , nhtfng ttfd n g th a n chii co th e b im g
tinh, n h im g stf vi£c la i x o a y san g h tfd n g kh ac, chi ta cam th a y ay
n£y va co ca m th a y b a t ltfc vi k h d n g lam gi g iu p dtfQc n h a th a m
van. D a y la mQt stf b o c 1q vi p h am ve m at d ao du'c cu a n h a th a m
van , v i da g a y ca n g t h in g k h o n g d an g cd cho th a n chii.
M o t v i d y k h a c, v d i m ot th an chu co ndi dau v i li di ngtfdi
ch o n g k h i p h a t hi<?n anh ta b o b ich , n ha th a m va n - la mQt ngtfdi
cu n g da tim g r a i v a o h o a n can h n a y da ch ia se va n de cu a m in h
v d i th a n ch u v a cd th e ndi rang: “N h itn g to i da vitcft q u a d w a c va
v itn g v a n g n h it n g a y nay n h it ch j thay d a y ”, th i cd th e se d ay
th a n ch ii va o stf d au kh o h a n khi th a y m in h yeu d uo i, b at ly c
348 Giao trinh T h a m van tam If

q u a .T ro n g tin h h u o n g kh ac, co th e di'eu ch ia se cu a n h a th am van

lai g a y ra stf b u t t u t d th a n chu kh i cam th a y n h a th a m va n khong
h ieu m in h , k h o n g to n tro n g m inh. T h a n chu co th e n g h i “Chuyen
cu a tdi m a dcfn g ia n nhu: ciia ch j a ”. Nhu* th e s y h o c lo b an than
cu a n h a th a m va n d d a y da k h o n g dat dtfQc h ieu qua, m a con lam
anh h tfd n g d en tien trin h va ket qua cu a cuqc th a m van .
C an ltfu y ran g k h o i ltfQng th o n g tin m a n ha th a m va n b ay to
ve b an th a n can can xu n g vd i stf m on g dQi b o c 1q ciia th an chu, de
trd th a n h mQt p h an cu a qua trin h th am van. N eu n ha th am van
sq ran g n eu k h d n g ndi ra dieu th an chu hdi cd th e se lam anh
h tfd n g den k e t q u a th a m van , h o a c m oi q u an he th a m va n thi nen
ndi. T u y n h ien nhi'eu n ha th am van can h b ao v'e viec phai can
n h ac sao ch o sau k h i ch ia se ch u n g ta k h d n g cam th a y phai an
h an , m u o n "ttf v a va o m ien g", h a y ttf g a y kh o chju ch o b an than
h o a c p h d n g ch ieu mQt cach vd thu’c stf tire gian len th a n chu, vi hQ
"m ac tQi" b ie t nhtfng di'eu th a m kin cua n h a th am van.
Hi^u q u a ciia stf ttf cdi m d, ttf b o c 1q cua n ha th am van la rat ro
tron g viec th u c d a y dtfQc th an chu h an h dQng. Khi nha th am van ty
b o c 1q b an th an thi can y thtfc ran g trQng tam cua m oi quan h<?
th am van dat len n ha th am van nhtfng chi la tam th d i va bat cur
th an chu nao cu n g can b iet nhi'eu hQn v'e stf cdi m d cua nha tham
van, tu y n h ien stf b o c 1q n a y phai trd nen htfu ich. N h a th am van co
th e hdi “N o n h it th e'n a o v&i v&i anh khi nghe trai n ghiem ciia t o i
m u c d ich la de th u c day, de dat lai tron g tam len than chu.
M o t q u y ta c ch u n g la neu n ha th a m van cam th a y khong
th u a n lQ i de b a y to b a n th an thi k h d n g nen b o c 1q. Khi n ha tham
v a n ca m th a y p h a n ch an v a th ich trd ch u yen ciia m in h vd i than
chu th i cd th e n h a th a m va n d an g th o a m an n h u cau ciia minh
hQn la d ap u n g n h u cau ciia th a n chu. Stf ttf b<?c 1q n htf v a v la
k h d n g cd lQ i, v i nd cd th e lam ch o nha th a m van "m at stf ttf kiem
soat" v a cd th e la m ta n g stf "p h an tam " tir p h ia th an chii.
K ah n (19 9 1) cho ran g dng co gan g de kh d n g tao ra mQt s y
q u an tam q u a m u’c, k h d n g noi v'e b an th an m inh. N h u n g neu mQt
th an chu lu c di ra ctfa lam nhtf tinh cd hdi mQt cach th an thien la
“O ng se di n gh i d dau ? ” K ahn se ndi n oi dng di nghi. N eu th an chii
sau do dd x et th eo kieu “O n g se di vdi a i? ” h a y “O n g da cd gia dinh
ch tfa?” th i n ha th a m va n se tra ldi: “A , cd le ch u n g ta nen ndi ve
di'eu do tro n g b u o i gap m at td i”.
C H U O N G 6: Ki nang t h a m van tam If 349

2. Luy$n ki nang b$c Iq ban than

K lein k e (19 9 4 ) dira ra hai loai bpc Iq ban th an: bQC lp n<?i
dung va bpc Iq tien trin h.
1. B o c lo n o i d u n g : N ha th am van bQC Iq nhirng th o n g tin
rieng tu* ve ca n han m inh. C ach bQC Iq n ay tao ra stf m at th iet giua
nha th a m van va th a n chu.
T ro n g q u a trin h hu’d n g dan ngtfdi hQe v'e k i n a n g bQC Iq ban
than, ch u n g to i th u d n g dtfa ra mQt b an g cau h o i v'e nhtfng di'eu
sinh vien - vofi ttf cach la nha th am van co th e ch ia se cho ngtfefi
kh ac v'e b an th an m in h . V i du co nen noi v'e gia d in h rien g cua
m inh h a y k h o n g ? N eu co th e ch ia se vi th an chu, vi m oi q u an he
th am van thi se ch ia se ch u yen gi? N htfng van d'e gi doi vcfi nha
tham va n se la "cam ki"? N htfng chu de cau ch u y en co ve "tam
phao" h a y hai htfd c n ao n ha th am van co th e ch ia se de th u c d ay
stf bQC Iq b an th a n cf th an ch u ? K hia can h "gitf bi m at" ttf p h ia nha
tham va n co an h htfc/ng nhtf the nao td i stf ch ia se h a y stf lo sQ bj
Iq bi m at cu a th a n ch u ? v.v...
2. B o c lo tien tr in h : N h a th am van bQC Iq nhtfng cam nhan
cua m in h v e th a n ch u tro n g tu n g th d i d iem cu a q u a trin h th am
van. N h a th a m va n co th e kh ai quat nhtfng cam n h an cu a m in h ve
nhtfng th a y d oi nhd m a n g tin h tich ctfc (h oac co th e tieu ctfc)
thtfdng x u ye n cu a th a n ch u, nhtf v'e van d'e g id giac, v'e trach
nhi^m cu a th a n ch u d oi vd i nhtfng yeu cau d'e ra tro n g q u a trin h
tham van , ve stf v u i v e trd lai cua th an ch u, v'e n htfng tien bQ X, Y
nao dd. K hi b<?c Iq th eo tien trin h n h a th a m va n cd th e nen stf
d y n g nhtfn g m en h d'e tin h th ai, nhtf: cd ve nhtf..., dtfd n g nhtf...,
toi cam th a y..., de tra n h cho th an chu cam gia c dtfQc k h en h a y bi
che mQt cach q u a th a n g than .

V ie c ch ia se n h tfn g cam xu c lien ty c cd lien q u an den stf tien

bQ, stf trtfd n g th a n h cu a th an chu se g iu p ch o q u a trin h th a m van
ludn d tra n g th ai tich ctfc. V i nhtfng cam x u c n a y tao nen stf th an
thiet, ga n gu i va co y n g h ia hQn doi vd i m oi q u an he th a m van.

X . K I N A N G D lT O N G D A U

1. Khdi niem ve ditong dau

T ro n g cuqc so n g , ch iin g ta th tfd n g dinh n gh ia stf dtfQng dau
n h tf mQt kieu ciia th a ch thirc khi phai co g a n g de vtfQt q u a mQt
350 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

kh o k h a n trof n g a i nao do. T ro n g p h am vi cu a m oi q u a n h e tham

van , stf dtfQng d au n h in ch u n g dtfQc coi n h tf mQt th ir th a ch doi
vcfi stf h ieu b ie t cu a th an chu v e th e g id i x u n g quanh
(B y rn e ,19 9 5). B an g cach doi xtf k h eo leo, th a n th ie n v a dtfa tren
cQ sd cu a m o i q u a n h e h ieu b iet, q u an tam v a tru n g thtfc nha
th a m va n stf d y n g k i n an g dtfQng d'au de th tf th a ch v a th ay doi
n h an thu'c cu a th a n ch u, th o n g qua viec chi ra n htfng m au thuan,
stf k h d n g n h a t q u a n gitfa ld i ndi, cam xuc, th ai dQ, h an h vi cua
th an ch u. D o la cach th u’c n h a th am van sir d y n g de th ach thu’c
k h a n an g n h in n h an , h ieu b iet ve nan de cu a th a n chu.

M y c d ic h cu a v ie c stf d y n g k i n a n g la g iu p th a n ch u tap
tr u n g v a o n h tfn g "d ie m m d " m a hQ k h o n g n h a n ra, ho$ c h<?
q u e n k h d n g n h a c td i, n h a th a m v a n ld i nd ra a n h s a n g de nhin
n h a n ch o rd, ch ir k h d n g p h a i de p h e p h a n h a y ch i ld i ciia hQ. Vi
v a y n h a th a m v a n p h a i sir d y n g mQt ca ch ca n trQ ng, can nh&c
ld i ndi v a cd tr a c h n h ie m .

Ki n an g dtfQng dau chi cd the sir d yn g cd hieu qua khi nha tham
van sir d u n g tot ki nan g lang nghe, thau hieu, dat cau hdi, dien giai
va p h an hoi de la m rd th on g tin tron g m di cau ndi ciia than chu. Ban
ch at ciia k i n an g dtfQng dau la chi ra dtfQc m au th u an tron g cau n6i
ciia th an chii, m u c d ich la giiip than chii th a y doi cach nhin cho co
hieu qua d oi vd i nan de ciia hQ, m oi quan h e tron g cuqc son g ciia hQ,
h o ac k h a c p h u c nhtfng rao can trong m oi quan h e th am van.

V i du: MQt th a n ch ii ndi r in g anh ta rat yeu v q , nhtfng anh ta

k h d n g ch ap n h a n v ie c cd vq h a y n gh i n g d v e nhtfng m oi quan he
ca n h a n cu a a n h ta, d ac b ie t la v ie c cd ta th eo ddi de d an h ghen
v d i mQt d o n g n g h ie p ntf tro n g cQ q uan . K hi n h a th a m van sir
d y n g k i n a n g dtfQng d au anh ta da im lan g, k h d n g cdn ndi to nhu"
lu c b a n d au . N h a th a m v a n ndi: "M o t m a t an h n o i rang anh rat
y eu v a , m a t k h a c a n h la i cho rang m inh co q u y en q u a n he v&i
b a t cu" m o t n g ii& i p h u nu: n ao m a anh m u o n va co i do la t y do
cd n h a n ". K h i sir d u n g ki n a n g dtfQng dau n h a th a m va n trtfdc do
d a th ie t lap dtfQc m oi q u a n h e ch an th an h , tin ttfd n g v d i th an chii.
C hi k h i tao la p dtfQc mQt m di ttfQng giao n on g am , th a n chii mdi
d am bQC Iq ve m in h nhi'eu hQn, dam dtfQng dau vd i n hirn g kho
k h a n k h o sd m a m in h p h ai giau diem nhi'eu hQn v a tien td i chap
n h an stf th a y doi.
( H l f O N G 6: Ki nang t h a m van ta m If 351

H a ck ey va C o rm ier (19 9 6 ) cho ran g stf dtfQng d au tro n g m oi

quan h<? th a m va n g iu p th an chu n han ra stf m au th u an gitfa ldi
noi, cam x u c va / h o a c h an h vi cua th an chu. H ai on g dtfa ra 4 loai
m au th u a n gom :
- M au th u an gitfa gia trj va h an h vi cua th a n chu. C h a n g han,
mQt th an chu noi ra n g co ta tin vao stf tru n g thtfc tro n g m oi quan
he th i se k h o n g b a y to stf t u t gian cua co ta vd i ngtfdi yeu vi cd ta
sQ anh ta se rd i bd cd - d d a y cd stf m au th u an gitfa gia trj niem
tin va h a n h vi cu a th a n chu. Cd kh d n g dam th e h i?n stf t u t gian vi
sQ ngtfdi y e u bd da chufng to cd kh d n g cd n iem tin ch ac chan.
- M au thuan gitfa hanh vi va cam xuc cua than chu. MQt
ngtfdi ndi rang anh ta rat yeu vQ, sau do lai ke cho nha tham van
nghe ve mQt moi tinh v y n g trQm ma anh ta dang cd.
- M au thuan gitfa chinh nhtfng ldi ndi cua than chu. MQt than
chu ndi rang cd ta m u on giao tiep tot hQn nhtfng lai tim ra nhtfng li
do de khdng thtfc hi?n: “N eu tdi cd nhi'eu thdi gian h o n de giao tiep ”.
- MQt lo a i th u 1 ttf cu a m au th u an cd th e la m au th u an gitfa
nhtfng ld i ndi cu a th a n chu ve cam x u c v a nhtfng cam x u c thtfc stf
cdn an giau , n h tfn g ca m x u c m a th an chu se k h d n g ch ap n han
h oac hQ k h d n g n h a n th u ’c dtfQc.
D e trQ g iu p ch o th a n chu dtfQng dau vd i van d'e cu a m in h,
nha th a m v a n F re d e ric k P eris (ngtfdi san g lap trtfd n g phai th a m
van G e sta lt) ta o cQ h$i ch o th an chu ttf h ieu m in h v a ttf k h a m p ha
ra m in h th eo ca ch cu a G e sta lt - “d d ay va b a y g id ” n h tf sau:
+ T h a n chu: L u c n a y to i d an g stf hd i (cWcfi).
+ N h a th a m van : B a xem , ba d an g so" h d i nhw ng bd lai m im
cW&i. Tdi th a t k h d n g hieu vi sa o bd co the v ita so1 h d i v ita cw di
d w ac (n h a th a m v a n tan co n g va o stf m au th u an gitfa h a n h vi va
ldi ndi cu a th a n ch u de th an chu doi m at v d i stf m au th u a n cua
m inh: ndi la sQ n h tfn g lai m im ctfdi).
+ T h a n chu: T di cd n h itn g d ieu n g h i n gai, tdi tin ran g dng co
the h ieu tdi n h ieu . Tdi n g h i rang dng biet... K h i n ao tdi so" hdi, tdi
cW&i h o a c lam m o t cd i g i do ngu xu a n d e ch e g ia u scr hdi.

+ N h a th a m van : M d i chu n g ta deu cd n h itn g liic nhw vay

d a y (n h a th a m v a n b a y to stf ch ap n h an v a th o n g ca m cu a m in h
d oi v d i th a n ch ii).
352 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

+ T h a n chu: 0 7 Tdi khd n g b ie t Tdi y thu'c ra t rd la d n g dang

& day. Tdi s& la, cf, tdi scf la dng tan con g trrWc tiep va dng se don
tdi “va o m ot g o c ’\ Tdi scf d ieu dd. Tdi thich la dng dirn g ve phia
tdi (than chu b a y to sir sQ hai cua m in h vd i nhufng ngurdi khac
kh d n g d u n g v e p h ia b a ta ndi ch u n g n h im g n g a y lu c n ay ndi sp
hai do lai d a n g dirpc p h d n g ch ieu vao n ha th a m van ).

+ N ha th am van: B a ndi la ba s& tdi don ba vao m ot goc va do

vay ba da d a t tay len ngirc (nha th am van dat cau hdi tiep can vdi
than chu tren ca hai bin h di<?n cam xuc va h an h vi dang dien ra).

2. Luyen ki nang dtfong dau

a . C hi ra su" k h d n g th o n g nhat, b an g cach ndi p h a n hoi lam
san g to ch o th an chii th a y s y m au th u a n ciia an h ta: "M Qt mat
an h..., nhw ng a n h ...” (H a ck n ey v a C o rm ier, 1996).
V i d y: M p t th a n ch ii cho r in g anh ta k h d n g cd tien de tiep tyc
di h p c n h im g an h ta lai tieu q u a nhi'eu tien va o hpi h e, ti£c tung.
N h a th a m va n sir d u n g ki th u at diTPng d au b a n g cach ndi: Anh
ndi ran g an h khd n g cd dii tien de d o n g hoc, nhw ng a n h lai tieu
q u a n hieu trien va o ch u y en tiec tung, hoi he.
b. Y e u cau th a n chu b i?n hp, giai th ich , c h im g m in h sir khong
th o n g n h a t ciia th a n chii: “H a y g id i thich ch o tdi h ieu y an h la gi
k h i an h ndi... tron g k h i do an h la i...”
V a n tin h h u o n g tren , n h a th a m van ndi: H a y g id i thich cho
tdi hieu y an h la gi kh i an h ndi an h khd n g cd tien d o n g h o c trong
k h i do an h lai tieu n hieu trien vao tiec tung.
c . T o m ltfpc di'eu k h d n g th o n g n h at tro n g co n ngirdi th a n chii
v a loi len b e m at h a m y tro n g th o n g tin ciia th a n chii. th a ch thuc
th a n ch ii n h in v a n d'e th eo cac cach th u ’c k h a c n h au : "A n h ndi
rang... Tom la i cd p h a i y an h la...".
V a n tin h h u o n g tren . n ha th a m van ndi: A n h ndi an h khdng
cd tien d o n g h o c trong k h i do anh lai tieu n h ieu trien va o tiec
tung. Tom lai co p h a i y anh m uon ndi rang an h k h d n g m u o n tiep
true h o c p h a i k h d n g ?
d. T h a u h ieu d mire dQ cao. T h o n g q u a sir d u n g n hirn g cau
noi th a u h ieu d mire dQ cao h o n . n ha th am va n th a ch thu'c sir m au
th u a n ciia th a n chii b a n g vi?c p h an hoi n h im g cam x u c vo thu'c
 CHl/ONG 6: Ki nang th a m van ta m If 353

hay to m tat lai n h u n g di'eu th an chu noi vofi stf th ach thu’c tinh
kh ong th o n g nhat, p hi li, de th an chu h ieu sau sac hern van de cua
chinh anh ta.
N h a th a m va n noi: A n h n oi rang m inh lo lang rat nhieu ve
chuyen khd n g du tien d o n g h o c se lam an h hw&ng den v iec tiep
tuc h o c len cao. C h i nhirng n g ird i co trach nhiem v&i tirefng lai
cua m in h m & i co n hirn g lo lan g nhir vay N h irn g dw&ng n h it anh
lai noi ra t n han h va v ita ndi v ita cit&i.
e. Stf d y n g cau noi h ai htfdc, stf ch am b iem , m ia m ai. C ach
nang cao m au th u a n n a y g a y nen stf dtfofng dau n hieu hofn, lam
noi b a t stf vo li cu a m au th u an . V i v a y n h a th a m van p h ai thtfc
hi?n no m pt cach th a n trp n g, neu b at len stf m au th u an , vo li cua
than chu nhtfng k h o n g lam th a n chu p h o n g v§.
V a n tin h h u o n g tren , n h a th am van noi: "Se th a t tien lQi khi
anh r&i g ia n g d it& n g d a i h o c den ca c nha h a n g .”
H oac, n h a th a m v a n co th e noi: D it& n g n h it a n h ca m thay cd
nhtin g m a u th u a n g itia nhan th tic ve gid tri ciia mQt tam bang
dai h o c vd v iec v u i ve v& i ban be cho k h u a y khoa. Tdi hieu p h a n
nao s it d a n vat, tit trach ban than trong con n g it& i anh, kh i anh
chita b iet lam ca ch n a o d e b ie h v iec hoc h a n h tr& nen n he nhang
nhit d i dw tiec.
S ti d y n g k i n a n g dtfofng d'au phu h p p n h at k h i m oi quan he
tham va n trof n en th a n thi<?n, tin ttfd n g v a th a n h th at; kh i nha
tham va n h ieu d tfp c co n ngtfofi th an ch u v a kh i n h a th a m van
nhan th a y th a n ch u m u o n dtfPng dau vd i v a n de cu a m inh. Co
m pt so tin h h u o n g th a m van phu h p p v d i vi?c sir d y n g k i nang
dtfPng d au , n h tf th a n ch u cd nhtfng cau ndi m au thuSn; ndi vdng
vo cau ch u y e n cu a m in h h a y d an g la n g tra n h m p t va n de quan
trpng; k h i th a n ch u ch iu trach n h iem v'e h au q u a h a n h dpng h ay
kh d n g n h a n ra h a n h v i cd n g u y cP g a y to n h ai cu a m in h. Ki th u at
dtfPng d au cu n g d tfp c stf d y n g kh i m oi q u an h£ gitfa n ha th am
van v a th a n ch u cd a n h h tfd n g xau td i q u a trin h tham van . Khi
th a n ch u chtfa sSn sa n g cho m pt m di q u an h ? th am van, chtfa sSn
sa n g ttf m in h giai q u y et v a n de cua m in h th i vi£c sir d y n g k i nang
dtfP n g d au cd th e se lam cho van de cu a th an chu t? h p n th eo cac
h tfd n g cd th e sau day:
354 Giao trinh T h a m van tam h'

1/ Bo ngang cupc tham van giira chimg

2/ T a n g le n sir d an vat mQt cach q u a d an g cf th a n chu

3/ P h o n g v e v a k h o n g th oai m ai tro n g viec noi ch u yen vcri

nha th a m v a n vi sp b i chi trich , b j d an h gia th ap ...

N h u vg y , k i n a n g dtfofng dau th tf th a ch k h a n a n g ciia th an chu

b an g cach ch i ra n htfng m au th u an m a th a n chii ch oi b o khong
ch ap n h a n m p t cach vo thu'c h o § c th a n chu k h o n g nhan thu’c
dtfgfc. K i n a n g dtfofng dau th u c d ay th a n chu doi d ien v d i nhtfng
m au th u a n cu a m in h , ch ap n h an nd v a tir dd nd ltfc tim ra cac
phtfofng h tfd n g giai q u yet. KI n an g n a y k h u y e n k h ich s t f ttf bpc Iq ,
k h a m p h a b a n th a n cu a th an ch u, g iu p th an chii tr d nen ldn
m an h h p n , trtfd n g th a n h h p n .

CAU HOI O N TA P CHlTONG 6

1. H a y trin h b a y k i n a n g L ang n gh e v a n eu le n n htfn g yeu

cau ch o v ie c lu ye n k i n an g nay.

2. H a y trin h b a y k i n a n g ki n an g D at cau h d i v a neu len

nhtfng yeu cau cho viec lu yen k i n a n g nay.

3. H a y trin h b a y k i n an g P h an h o i v a n e u le n n h tfn g yeu cau

ch o v ie c lu y e n k i n a n g nay.

4. H a y trin h b a y k i n a n g T h au h ieu v a n eu len n htfn g yeu cau

cho viec lu y e n k! n a n g nay.

5. H a y trin h b a y k i n an g D tfPng d au v a n eu len nhtfng yeu

cau ch o v ie c lu y e n k i n a n g nay.

6. H a y trin h b a y k i n an g T tf b p c lp v a neu len n htfn g yeu cau

ch o v ie c lu y e n k i n a n g nay.

7. H a y trin h b a y k i n a n g Dtfa ld i k h u yen v a cu n g cap th o n g

tin v a n eu len nhtfng ye u cau cho v ie c lu y e n ki n a n g nay.

8. H a y trin h b a y ki n a n g T h o n g dat v a neu len n h tfn g yeu cau

ch o v ie c lu y e n k i n a n g nay.
 CHlTONG 7

QUY TRiNH THAM VAN TAM Li

Hoat dong tham van khong bat buoc phai tuan theo mot quy trinh bat bien,
nen viec phan chia qua trinh tham van thanh nhieu giai doan chi mang tinh
twang ddi nham ndi len ban dang a dau trong viec kham pha mot van de cu
the cung than chu. Khi ban dang trong mot giai doom nao cua qua trinh
tham vein, neu cd thong tin m&i xuat hien doi hdi cdn lam rd lai nhung thong
tin cua giai doan tnvac do, ban cd the quay trd lai bat ke a giai doan nao
cua qua trinh tham van de bat dau vai nhimg van de mai nay sinh. Truong
hap khi than chu rai vao trang thdi phdng ve thi qua trinh tham van cung bi
ngimg tre va bat dau lai tir chinh "diem cam chot" do.

ChtfQng nay se trinh bay cac mo hinh tham van tiep c£n tu"
goc dQ than chu va tu1 goc dQ nha tham van theo cac giai doan
kham pha va giai quyet van d'e. Tren ca sd nam dtfQc cac giai
dogn cua qua trinh tham van, chung toi se phan tich sau ki nang
danh gia trtfdng hQp cua nha tham van va dtfa ra minh hQa cu the
ve stf bien doi tam li trong qua trinh tham van (tri lieu). Tir cac
thong tin thu dtfQc chung toi se trinh bay cac thao tac thtfc hign
ke hoach xtf li van d'e cua nha tham van va cuoi chtfang la phan
gidi thieu tom tat cong tac giam sat trong tham van - mQt cong
vi^c cd tinh bat buQC trong hoat dQng tham van.

I. CAC MO H iN H THAM VAN

Cho tdi nay, qua trinh tham van du dtfQc tiep can theo
phtfQng phap nao va thtfc hien theo md hinh cd bao nhieu giai
dogn, thi nd cung ddi hoi nha tham van phai lam rd cac van d'e
thuQC v'e chuyen m on cua nha tham van. Trong buoi tham van
d'au tien cac nha tham van khdng the khdng ndi den thdi gian gap
gd, dQ dai cua cac buoi tham van, kinh phi... Tat ca cac nha tham
356 Giao trinh T h a m van tam If

van b a n g cach n a y ca ch k h a c co the d eu noi d en stf tin cay lan

n h au gitfa n h a th a m va n v a th an chu, tra ch n h iem cac b en , tinh bi
m at v a g id i h a n cu a stf gitf bi m at... V a, v ig c g iu p th an chu vuQt
q u a k h o k h a n d o i h o i n ha th a m van p h a i x a c d in h dtfQc nhtfng
m oi lo au co n g u y e n n h an cu a th an ch u, cu n g th a n chu x a y dtfng
cac m u c tieu , x a c d in h nhtfng cach th u ’c trQ g iu p th a n chu de duy
tri nhtfng m u c tieu da dtfQc x a c d in h va cu oi cu n g la tro ch u yen ve
stf ch am d u t m o i q u a n h e th a m van . T a t ca n h tfn g va n d'e tren se
dtfQc n h a th a m va n b$ c I q tro n g cac giai d oan k h a c n h au trong
m oi q u an h e th a m van va tat ca th a n chu deu se trai q u a nhtfng
"thu tu c" nay.

l. M o hinh tham van trong giai doan kh&i dau ciia

nganh Tham vain chuyen nghiep

N g a n h T h a m va n ch in h thu’c ra ddi va o nhtfn g n am 1930 do

co n g cu a E .G . W illia m so n (19 0 0 - 19 79). Lan d'au tien tro n g lich
stf mQt H th u y e t h o a n ch in h cu a ngh'e th a m van dtfQc dtfa ra de
p h an b ie t rd ret vd i th u y e t p h an tam hQe d a n g th in h h a n h cua
F reu d . M a c du cd n g u o n g o c tu1 co n g ta c h tfd n g d an ttf van ngh'e,
nhtfn g h tfd n g tiep can cu a W illia m so n d'au th e k y X X da vtfQt qua
nhtfn g y ttfd n g cu a F ra n k P arson s v'e mQt m d h in h th a m va n theo
ca c g ia i d oan . V a , m d h in h th a m va n cu a W illia m s o n dtfQc xem
n h tf la mQt h tfd n g tie p can cd gia tri vd i th a m va n v a tri h eu tam li
giai d oan b a n d au cu a stf h in h th a n h ngh'e th a m va n . N e t dac
trtfn g v a n htfn g n h an to ch in h cua q u y trin h th a m va n lien quan
d en mQt ch u o i h o a t dQng 5 b tfd c da dtfQc W illia m s o n xac dinh
nh tf sau:
1. P h an tich d an h gia va n d'e cua th a n chu vd i n h tfn g ket qua
t r i e n g h iem v'e th a n chu.
2. T o n g hQp, to m ta t v a s ip xep th o n g tin de h ieu va n de.
3. C h a n d o an , la m san g to van d'e.
4. T tf van tam li va trQ giup ca nhan tim cach giai quyet.
5. T h eo ddi, dam bao stf theo doi dich thtfc, sat sao th an chu.
N h a tham van ndi tieng C. R ogers la ngtfdi d'au tien (nam
19 4 0 ) dtfa ra cac giai doan cua mQt qua trinh tham van m ot cach
CHLfON G 7 : Q u y trinh th am van ta m li 357

ch uyen n g h iep . M o h in h th am van cua on g b ao g o m 6 giai doan,

trong d o tap tru n g ch in h vao vig c x a y dtfng m oi q u an he tin
ttfdng, ch an th an h gitfa nha th am van va th an chu. D o la:
- T^o lap m oi q u an h e gitfa n ha th am van v a th a n chu.
- G iu p th a n chu b o c lo x u c cam , tin h cam cu a m inh.
- G iu p th an chu h ieu sau h o n va n de cu a m in h v a ch ap nhan
no nhtf no vo n co.
- G iu p th an chu y th u ’c dtfpc h an h vi cu a m inh.
- T h a n chu tim nhtfng giai p h ap cho van d'e cu a m in h vd i stf
giup d p cu a n ha th a m van .
- N h a th a m v a n g iu p d p de th an chu cu n g co stf ttf ltfc, ttf
dtfPng d'au vd i van de cu a m inh.
Q ua trin h th am van co the dtfpc cau true theo nhi'eu cach khac
nhau, tu y th u p c va o quan diem tiep can va kinh n ghiem cua nha
tham van.

2. Md hinh tham van tiep can tit goc d$ than chu

M . D a ig n ie a u lt (2 0 0 1)1 cho ran g sau giai d oan tro n g q u a trin h

tham va n cu a C. R o g ers thtfc ch at la dieu k ien can th iet de tao lap
m oi q u an h e tr p g iu p , v a m u’c dp dtfPng d'au cu a th a n chu v d i nan
de cua hp cu n g ch in h la ket q ua cua m oi q u an h e tr p giup.
V d i q u a n d iem ch o ran g th an chu la ngtfdi cd n h u cau dtfpc
giup d d v a s i n sa n g d tfP n g d'au vd i va n d'e cu a m in h , n en m d h in h
tham va n 3 giai d o a n cu a M . D a ig n ie a u lt la stf k h a i q u a t n gan gpn
tir m d h in h 6 giai d oan cu a C. R ogers - m d h in h x a y dtfng th eo
quan d iem th a n ch u trp n g tam cua qua trin h g iu p dd.
- G ia i d o a n than chu tit boc lo
D ay la giai doan cP sd, cho phep ngtfdi dtfpc giu p dd th o lp van
de cua m inh. N h a th a m van can ltfu y cac cam x u c m a than chu phai
dtfPng d'au. T h o n g thtfdng, khi cac cam xuc cua than chu dtfpc bpc
lp va nhin nhan lai thi ctfdng dp bieu hien cua cac cam xuc tieu ctfc
se dtfpc gia m dan di v a than chu dan dtfPng dau vd i van de cua

1 M. Daignieault, Moi quan he trcr giup, tap bai giang do Tien si Nguyen Song Ha
va Tien si Nguyen PhiTcfng Hoa djch, Vi£n Tam li hpc, 2003.
358 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

minh tot hon. Foa va cac tac gia khac (1995) nghien cun trong linh
vtfc phy n tfb i bao hanh ve tinh dye da phat hien ra rang: Trong giai
doan tu bQC lp, neu nhung than chu nao bay to s y sp hai khi ke l$i
chuyen m inh bj ham hiep nhu the nao hp se de dUPng dau vcri van
de cua m inh tot hpn la nhung than chu bay to s y gian dtf1.
De lam sang to giai doan nay,
M . D a ig n ie a u lt da d u a ra m pt vi Thao luan tnrcrng hgfp
du m in h h p a v e m p t cu p c tro N hitng van de nao ban can
ch u y en g iu a h ai co ch au , tro n g do thong bao cho than chu ngay
b p c lp ca 3 g ia i d oan cu a m oi tit buoi dau lam djch vu tham
q u an h e tr p giup. van de than chu hieu rd ban
G iai d oan t y bp lp tro n g cau chat ciia tham van?
ch u y en cu a n gtfdi co n h u sau: Trong trwdng hcfp ban lam
• Co: T it k h i chu chau n g h i tham van cho than chu a tuoi
hWu, cd lu on p h a i theo sa t vf thanh nien, thi ban se bao v?
on g ay & nha. C o n g hi th e'to t quyen lcfi ciia ho nhit the'nao?
cho ca. hai... Ban co trach nhiem g: v&i cha
• C hau: Co co ve hcfi th a t me ho va ban li gidi nhw the
v o n g ... nao ve nguyen tac bao mat cho
than chii?
• Co: If. Hcfn th e 'n ita , chu ay
n o i lu c n ao cu n g thay buon . Cdn cd, cd ga n nhw khdng cdn
ra k h d i n ha nWa...
V ie c ngUc/i ch au stf d u n g k i n an g th a u cam kh i n oi rang "Co
cd v e h a i th a t v o n g ..." da k h ie n n g u d i cd tu b p c lp cam xuc, suy
n gh i cu a m in h v a n h in n h an lai va n d'e cu a m in h .
- G iai doan than chu dw ac hieu vd thau hieu van de cua minh
Sau kh i th an chu bpc lp dupe cac cam xuc cua m inh. than chu co
nhu cau dupe th au hieu, dupe hieu va tu hieu. N ha th am van can
giup th an chu to c h u t lai stf nhan thu'c, quan niem cua chinh ban
th an m inh; giu p th an chu nhan b iet chinh xac dieu gi tao nen van de
cua anh ta v a n gu yen nhan gay ra chung. V an cupc trd chuyen cua
hai cd chau tro n g giai doan hai dupe the hien n h u sau:

1 Dan theo M. Daignieault, Giao trinh mo: quan he tra giup, Nguyen Phirong Hoa
va Liru Song Ha bien dich, Vien Tam li hoc, Ha Noi, 2001.
(H lfO N G 7 : Quy trinh tham van tam If 359

• C h au : T h e c o ho cd d i thw vien vd dan la t b u o i to i a. Co cung

n g itn g h o a t d o n g vd "nghi h itu " ludn p h a i khd n g a?
• Co: (d ita m a t nhin n g a c nhien vd im lan g)
• C hau: T h e c o n g h i the n ao neu thinh th o a n g & m o t m in h ?
• Co: Cd cho ran g n h it vay khdng p h a i lam .
• Chau: K h d n g p h a i v&i nghia gi a?
• Co: Cd thay m in h cd loi...
Vigc y thu'c dupe van de khien than chu co the cau true lai stf
nhan thu’c cua ban than va nhin nhan lai van de ngtfofi chong nghi
htfu khien ngtfefi co cung ngim g cuqc song cua m inh, khi trong
tham tam ngtfofi co van chtfa muon.
D aignieault cho rang dieu quan trQng of giai doan nay la nha
tham van giup than chu thay doi cach nhin va htfdng den phtfQng
thu'c hanh dQng. T rong giai doan than chu hieu va thau hieu van
de cua m inh, than chu phai tra lcfi dtfQc cau hoi: Dieu nay co y
nghia gi v6 i toi?
- G ia i d o a n than chu kham p h a cd c g id i p h a p

Giai do^n 3 doi hoi than chu dtfa ra dtfQc cac giai phap. Nha
tham van can ban bac cung than chu cac giai phap Itfa chQn ma than
chu cho la tot nhat voi minh, can xac dinh cac tfu diem va han che cua
mdi quyet dinh.
- C hau: Cd dd n d i ch u y en v&i chu c h ita ?
- Co: Cd p h a i q u y e t d jnh thdi. Cd cdn qua tre de n g itn g lam
viec vd cd cd q u y en tiep tuc h o a t dong.
Bang stf lang nghe day ton trQng va higu qua ngtfefi chau da
giup cho co m inh nhan thu'c lai van de cua m inh va tim ra phai
phap. 6 giai doan kham pha cac giai phap, than chu phai tra lcfi
dtfQc cau hoi: Toi lam gi vcri van de cua toi?
Theo M. Daignieault, trong nhieu trtfcmg hQp cuqc tham van chi
dimg lai Q giai doan 2 - Ttf bQC Iq va thau hieu, do than chu khong co
nhu cau kham pha cach giai quyet van de ma Iiq chi can dat dtfQc stf
giai bay tam stf de thau hieu van de cua minh. Dieu nay phu thuQC
360 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

vao m y c tieu d§t ra cua than chu khi di th am van. D aignieault cho
r in g , m o h in h th am van 3 giai do^n cho phep n ha th am van xac
djnh nhu cau cua th an chu:
- A n h ta co n hu ca u bo c Iq hay k h o n g ?
- A n h ta cd m u o n thau hieu van d e cu a m in h h a y k h o n g ?
- A n h ta co m uon tim kiem gidi p h a p cho van de cua minh hay
khdng?
N ha th am van co the d y a vao s y djnh htfcmg nay de tim cach
khich le than chu trong viec tham do va giai quyet van de cua minh.

3. M d h in h tha m van tiep can tit g o c dg n h a tham van

M o h in h th a m va n sau giai
do^n dtfdi d a y d tfpc nhi'eu n gan h V&i mQt sinh vien thitc tgp
tr p g iu p tren th e g id i d un g. M o nhit tdi, dieu kho khan nhat la
h in h n a y d tfp c ch u n g to i th o n g thiet lap sw tin tw&ng ban
h p p tir ca c m o h in h th a m va n dtfpc dau v&i than chu. Chinh vi$c
trin h b a y tro n g ca c tai lieu th am chWa tao bau khdng khi yen
v a n k h a c n h a u .1 D a y la stf ket hp p
tam ma lai hdi ngay vao van
co ch p n lp c dtfa tre n p h a n tich tai
de ciia than chii vi nghi rang
lieu h P n la dtfa va o th y c tien th a m
lam nhw vay la quan tam t&i
va n cf V ie t N a m .
van de ciia than chii dd khien
- G ia i d o a n 1: X a y d itn g q ua n
cho ho cd sit phdng ve. Dieu
h e vd s it tin tit& n g g iita nhd tham
nay da lam cho tdi gap nhieu
van vd than chu
kho khan trong nhitng buoi
D a y la g ia i d o a n x a y d y n g m oi lam viec sau dd.
lien h e m a t th ie t v a lo n g tin ttfdng.
(CTL, K49, 2007)
T h a n ch u d en th a m va n vd i m pt
noi b a n k h o a n ld n : “ T d i cd the tin txt&ng nhd tham van de ndi
v&i an h ta ve d ieu tham kin ciia to i”?. Lan g§p g d d au tien rat
q u a n trp n g v i do la th d i d iem ca n ha th a m van va th a n chii co
nhtfn g an ttfp n g b a n dau v e ngtfdi kia; th d i d iem th ie t lap m oi

1 Tai li£u t^p huan ve cong tac tham van” (UNICEF VN, 2000), “The gioi cua nha
tham van” (E.D. Neukrug, 1999) va trong “Tai li<?u ho trgr tam li xa hoi cho nhirng
ngudi de bj ton thuong” (CFSI, MOLISA, COLISA, UNV, 1996).
 CH UONG 7: Quy trinh tham van tam If 361

ttfQng giao, q u an he; tao niem tin; x a c d jn h va n de cu a th a n chu;

xac d in h htfcmg di - B uoi th am van dau tien cu a th a n chu co the
quyet djn h co tiep ty c co th am van h a y k h o n g ?

N ha th am van can tao bau khi

than thien vira phai, co the danh vai
phut mcf dau ban g chuyen thcfi stf,
cac bien co thcfi tiet h oac le hpi, the
thao... (khoang 5-7 phut). N ha tham
van kh on g lam th an chu kho chju,
khong di sau vao chuyen rieng ttf
qua sofm lam th an chu ngai ngung,
ma co the di n gay vao m y c dich
than chu tim den th am van.
C an th ie t l£p b a u k h o n g khi tin
ttfdng b an g cach tao th oai m ai cho
than chu, h o a n n g h e n h th an chu
Trong lan dau gap than chu
toi chwa gi&i thieu ban than va
nghe tham van do th&i gian
lam quen qua it va than chii
muon chia se ngay van de ciia
cd. Vi vay, khi lam viec sau
hcfn vao van de ciia than chu
tdi cam thay vung ve, chita
that tit nhien. Viec gi&i thieu
ban than ngay tit ban dau se
tao ra sit tit nhien, than mat
vd lam tang trach nhiem ciia
haiben.
(HTH, K49, 2007)

den; giofi th ie u b a n th an . N htfng

cau d$i loai nhtf:
- C hao chf, m & i ch j n g o i (ch i cho ngoi, m & i m t& c).
- Tdi co the giup gi cho chf (hay, chi cd dieu gi can chung toi giup).
- C am a n ch i da d en djch vu tr& g iu p ciia chim g toi...
- Ten tdi la ..., tot nghiep (hoc) ve..., tdi thit& ng tham van ve...
N h a th a m va n co th e lam ro cho th an chu h ieu tin h ch at cua
hoat dQng trQ g iu p tam li b an g cac cach giofi th ieu n gan gQn, co the
noi nhtf sau:
"Trit& c k h i ch im g ta b a t dau vao van de cu a chi, tdi x in ndi
qua d e ch j rd h o a t d o n g tham van m d ch im g tdi th it& n g tien
hanh la g i? T oi ch i co the giiip d ita c ch i k h i b ie t rd ve cau ch u y en
cua chi. Vi vay ch i se n o i ve van d e cu a m in h, vd tdi la n g it& i
lang nghe. T ro n g k h i ch j ndi cd cho n ao ch ita ro tdi se h d i lai.
S a u k h i tdi h ieu d it a c van de ciia ch j n h it ch i h ieu van d e cua
m in h, ch u n g ta cu n g nhau thao luan p h ita n g an g id i q u y et. Tdi
se g iu p ch j lam sd n g to van d e vd se cim g ch i cd n n h a c cd c ca ch
g id i q u y e t sa o ch o cd hieu qua nhat, cdn ch i se th itc h ien chu n g .
362 Giao trinh Tham van tam If

Co n h itn g v a n d e ca n n hieu th&i g ia n , co n h itn g van d e ch i can

m o t v a i buoi. H ieu qua ciia tham van p h u th u o c ra t nhieu tir
chin h sir co g a n g ciia chi. T rong qua trinh lam tham van, co dieu
gi ch ita h ieu x in ch j n o i cho tdi biet, neu vi li d o nao do khong
tien n o i v& i toi, ch i co the g o i dien den so nay".
K hi th o n g b a o cho th a n chu b ie t v'e h o a t d p n g th a m van , nha
th a m va n co th e n en n oi th em v'e viec gap g d ca c doi tu p n g khac
de la m ro th o n g tin v a n oi cho th an chu ro v'e q u y en d u p c biet
th o n g tin lien q u an den h(?. T h a n chu cu n g can d u p c biet v'e
q u yen ch am d u t th a m van h o a c doi n h a th a m va n k h a c - neu than
chu m u o n . V e v a n d'e nay, n ha th am va n co th e noi: " Trong qua
trin h lam v iec v& i chi, co the tdi can them m o t so' thon g tin tit
n h itn g n g it& i k h a c de g iu p cho v iec xem x e t van d e ciia chj tot
h a n . K h i g a p g& a i tron g so n g it& i q uen ciia ch i va ve van de gi
tdi se th o n g bao d e ch j biet. S au vai b u o i lam v ie c v&i chi, tdi se
d ita ra m o t ban d a n h gia ban d a u (neu v a n d'e cu a th an chii la
n g h iem trp n g , can nhi'eu th d i gian giu p dd). D ita tren ban danh
g id nay, ch u n g ta se x em x e t cd c g id i p h a p tac d o n g . T rong qua
trin h lam v ie c v& i n hau, neu chf m u o n d itn g v iec tham van thi
lu c n ao cu n g d ita c , h o a c neu ch i m uon tim m o t n g it& i k h a c thay
th e'to i, x in ch i c it de d a t” .
T ro n g giai d o a n la m q u en (th u d n g la b u o i dau tien ), nha
th a m v a n can noi v'e m pt so n g u yen ta c th a m van , tro n g do
n g u ye n ta c v e tin h b ao m at v a n go ai 1? cua viec g iu bi mat;
n g u ye n ta c to n trp n g th a n chu v a cac q u yet d in h ciia th an chii can
d u p c th o n g b a o r 5 cho th a n chu b iet.

N eu th a n ch ii da tim g th a m va n tru d c d a y th i giai d oan tiep

x u c d'au tien co th e b i anh h u d n g b d i n h u n g ki n iem q u a khir. Vi
v a y n h a th a m v a n can lam san g to n h im g cam x u c tru d c d ay ciia
th an ch u v a g iu p th a n chii "d oan tu yet" vd i no, d ac b ie t doi vdi
n h u n g cam x u c tieu cUc, de tao d u n g m oi q u an h e m d i vd i niem
tin m d i. V i du d oan d oi th o ai d ud i d ay se lam sa n g to di'eu nay:

- T h a n chii: T oi r a t v u i k h i chia se v&i chi. T n r & c d a y tdi

cu n g dd titn g d i tha m van. C d i anh Fan trit& c tdi g a p ch a n q u a !
CHUONG 7: Quy trinh tham van tam If 363

- N h a th a m van: D it& n g n h it chf da co m o t k i n iem k h o n g vui

v&i d o n g n g h iep cu a ch u n g tdi. N eu chf co the cho tdi b iet d ieu gi
dd x a y ra trit& c d ay thi no se giiip tdi hieu n h itn g g i ch j h i vong
tdi cd the lam du’Q’c cho ch j?
NgtfQc lai vd i vi du tren , th an chu cu n g co th e noi:

- T han chu: N h d tham van md tdi gap Tan tn t& c, anh ay that
tuyet v&i.
- N h a th a m van: D it& n g n h it ch j th itc s it h d i Idng ve n git& i
dong n g h iep ciia ch im g tdi. C hi co the chia se m o t v d i d ieu ve
anh ay d a k h ien ch f ca m thay tu y et v& i? Tdi co the khd n g ditcfc
nhu" an h ay vi tdi khd n g p h a i la anh ay. N h itn g n h itn g d ieu m d
chf h d i Idng ve c u o c tham van trit& c d ay se g iu p tdi b iet d ita c
dieu m d ch j m on g m u o n & tdi trong lan tham van nay.
D ay la mQt stf ch ia se trtfc tiep doi vd i dau h ieu gian tiep lien
quan den stf hai lo n g h a y kh on g hai lon g cua th an chu ve m oi quan
he th am va n trtfd c day. N htfng dau hieu gian tiep n a y co the p h on g
chieu va o m oi q u an h e tin ttfdng h a y kh on g tin ttfdng cua than chu
doi vd i n ha th a m va n h ien hanh. V i vay, th ao lu an ve m oi quan he
qua khir cu a th a n ch u se giup than chu doan tu yet vd i qua khir de
tap tru n g vao m oi q u an h e "tai day", "b ay gid". D ay la diem kh d i
dau cho v ie c tao lap m di quan h e m d i vd i th o n g diep n gam an
rang: "Chi d a n g lam v iec cung tdi ch it khdng p h a i lam viec v&i
anh t a ".
T ron g giai d oan x a y dim g m oi quan he va lon g tin n ha th am van
sir d ung n hieu h o n k i nang lan g nghe tich ctfc va k i nan g th au cam .
N ha th am van can liru y mQt cach cham chu, can th an kh i th an chii
ndi ve nhtfng kh ia canh xuc cam , tinh cam ; gitf bin h tinh, kien tri khi
than chu k h o n g hQp tac; theo ddi than chu qua giQng noi, bieu hien
net m at, dieu bQ, cach ngoi, cach dim g tir. V iec trd ch u yen nhtfng
van de ch u n g de tim stf thoai m ai, tin ttfdng kh dn g n am n goai m uc
tieu th a m van - T h a n chii cd van de gi? Can giiip gi?

G iai do^n thiet lap stf tin ttfdng lan nhau khdng co nghia chi goi
gQn trong mQt, h ai buoi dau tien, m a co the mat mQt so buoi. V i va y
364 | Giao trinh Tham van tam li

nha th am van can nam bat va hin h dung dtfgfc van de cu a than chu.
Khi cac th o n g tin th an chu ke ra da dtfgfc xac dinh, nha tham van
can stf d y n g ki n an g phan hoi va ki nang dat cau hoi de hieu van de
cua th an chu n htf th an chu cam nhan. Di'eu nay k h o n g co nghia la
nha th am van tan th an h vcfi nhan dinh cua th an chu.
N h a th a m va n can noi vcri th an chu tro n g b u o i gap m at d'au
tien v e th d i gia n g a p gd, d g dai cua b u o i gap , va n d'e p h ap ly, kinh
phi v a la m h p p d o n g n eu th an ch u d on g y th a m gia va o qua trinh
th am van . So lan g a p phu th u g c vao d an h gia b an dau cua nha
th a m v a n v'e n an d'e cu a th an chu v a cu n g p h y th u g c vao cach
n h in n h an v a n d'e cu a n h a th a m van v a phtfOng p h a p / li th u yet hQ
tiep can v a n d'e cu a th a n chu. V i d y: K hi th a n chu co n htfng roi
lo a n ta m li can p h a i trj ligu, th d i gian doi h o i p h a i k e o dai, doi khi
den 2, 3 n am . C on n h tfn g v a n d'e x a y ra tr o n g sin h h o a t hang
n g a y ch i ca n m g t h a i tu an .
T h e o k in h n g h ig m cu a ch u y en gia th a m v a n n gtfd i M y, giao
stf T o m a s S h a ffe r (ch u y e n g ia ta p h u a n cu a U n ic e f, 2002-
2 0 0 3 )1, cd th e x a c d in h th d i g ia n m g t ca ch ttfO ng d oi tu y theo
v a n d'e cu a th a n ch u n h tf sau:

- T ri ligu tap tru n g vao th ay doi

nhan thu'c, h a n h vi, cd ngu yen nhan
ga y ra nhtfng roi lo a n tam li, th d i gian
tru n g b in h th tfdng keo dai tir 6 th ang
den 2 nam , tru n g b in h tu an m gt Tan,
th d i gian dau cd th e tu an 2, 3 Tan.

- T h a m v a n la m d u n g tin h due:
Tir 6 th a n g tdi k h o a n g m g t nam , tru n g b in h 2, 3 la n / itu a n . T h am
v a n la m d y n g k h o n g nen la m q u a m g t n am . N eu m g t dtfa tre bi
lam d u n g tin h d ue tir ch in h tro n g gia d in h th i rat k h o so n g on
d in h tro n g gia d in h v a cu g c so n g gia d in h th tfd n g bi d ao lg n . Vi£c
th a m va n ch o tre la rat k h o k h a n v a k h o n g h i?u qua.

1 Tai li£u khoa tap huan ve tham van tre em do Unicef va UBDSGD Vi<jt Nam (ten
cu) to chuc tai Dong Nai, 2002.
CH UO NG 7 : Quy trinh tham van tam If 365

- T h a m va n nhtfng b at h o a tro n g giao tiep ufng xtf, tir 6 den

12 tu an , tu a n m g t lan.
- T ham van nhtfng noi dau m at mat ngtfdi than trong gia dinh tir 6
den 12 tuan, tuan dau l, 2 Tan, cac tuan sau se quyet dinh ro so Tan.
- T h a m va n tam tra n g th a t VQng, ch an nan: 2 den 4 lan gap,
co th e chi d ien ra m p t lan.
- T h a m v a n g ia d in h : tir 6 d e n 12 t h a n g , t h a n g 1 la n t u y thuQ C
v a o y c h i g ia d in h , d o i k h i c h i c a n 3 la n .

Khi va n de cu a th a n chu chtfa ch ac ch an, n h a th a m va n can

gidi thi^u th a n ch u d en b a c si (da kh oa, nhi k h o a , tam th an , san
p h y), h o ac gid i th ieu , th ao lu an vd i chuyen gia tam li lam san g de
lam trac n gh iem neu can. V ie c nay ddi hdi ta n g kin h phi, nen nha
tham van can can n h a c tin h h in h tai chinh cua th an chu. N h a tham
van cd th e gid i th ieu th a n chu den cac djch v y phap luat, cac trai
cai nghien, g id i th ieu den cac nha m d, n ha tin h thtfOng, gia dinh
thay the.
- G ia i d o a n 2: Thu thap thong tin vd x a c d in h van de

O giai d oan n a y n ha th am van va than chu xem xet stf kh am pha

dau tien ve mQt h a y mQt so van de. N htfng van de kh ac cung cd the
xuat hien khi n h a th am van kham
pha tinh tran g cu a th an chu. N ha
tham van v a th an chu can dtfQc
sang to nQi d u n g th o n g tin d giai
doan n ay la:
- V an de xu at hien nhtf the
nao? Khi nao? O dau?
- V a n de ton tai b ao lau?
- A i lien quan den van de? Lien
quan n h tf the nao?
- M u’c dQ n gh iem trQng cua
w w w .m a r k e t in s c h ie n l u o c .c o m
van de? V a n de cd de doa den cuqc
song cua b an th an h a y ngtfdi kh ac khdng?
- V a n de tra d e m at than chii m uon giai quyet la gi?
366 Giao trinh T h a m van tam II

- V an de da dirpc giai quyet nhir the nao? T h an chii da co gang

nhir the nao tron g vi$c giai quyet? Co ai giup d d kh on g?
- T h a n chu cam th a y nhir the nao? v.v...
N h a th am va n co the th am kh ao y kien cua b at ke n ha chuyen
m on nao v'e nhirng m at m a nha tham van chira biet v'e than chii.
H oac co the hoi nh im g nguon th on g tin kh ac nhau de lam sang to
van d'e cua kh ach hang. N hutig nha th am van phai tu yet doi tranh
dat nh im g ngirdi cu ng cap th on g tin h ay ngirdi quen ciia than chii
vao tinh h u o n g xu n g dQt vd i than chu. Di'eu nay cd nghia la khi thu
thap th on g tin n ha th am van can stf don g y cua than chii, hoac phai
bao vd i th an chu ve nhtfng ngirdi quen cua than chii m a nha tham
van m u on gap h a y n him g van de nha th am va n se hdi h Q . N eu than
chu cd sir ch on g doi qua trinh thu thap th on g tin cua nha tham van
se ngan can nhirng ngirdi cung cap th on g tin hQp tac vd i nha tham
van tron g no ltfc giup than chu giai quyet van de ciia than chii. Vi
du, nha th am van co the ndi:
- D e g iu p anh x a c djnh ro van de cua m inh, co m ot so thong tin
ve diem A ...., X .... toi ch ita rd (tdi m uon lam sdng to), anh n ghi the
nao neu tdi ga p vo" anh d e la m rd m ot so 'd iem ? H oac:
- D e giu p anh x a c dfnh rd van de ciia m inh, tdi can them mot
so' thong tin lien quan den anh A , chi X .... anh n g h i the nao ve
chuyen n ay?
T u y thuQC va o va n d'e va th ai dQ hQp ta c cu a th an chu m a nha
th am v a n cd th e dira ra cac cach ndi k h a c nhau. Sau kh i thu thap
dirQc th o n g tin tir cac n gu on k h a c nhau n h a th a m va n danh gia cac
va n de cu a th an ch u th eo n h an dinh b an d'au cu a m inh. Se co
nhirng van d'e m a th an chu kh d n g nhan thu’c dtfQc d ay du. D ay la
lu c n h a th a m va n giu p th an chu cai th i?n su y n gh i v'e b an th an va
van d'e cu a m in h . K hi th an chii y thu’c dtfQc van d'e ciia m inh, nhin
van de "n h tf nd v o n cd" - D o la lu c cai tdi nQi tam ciia th an chii cam
th a y m a n h m e, d am nhin vao stf that, nha th am van co th e day
n h an h hQn qua trin h kh a m p ha the gidi b en tro n g ciia th an chii,
n h im g cu n g can p h ai lu o n lu on nhay cam vd i nhu cau ciia than
chii. N h a th a m va n ch ia se vd i than chu nhtfng van de m a nha
th am va n k h a m p h a dtfQc va th an chii b at dau n hin n h an van d'e
 C H LfON G 7 : Q u y trinh th a m van tam | 36 7

nay dtfa tren vi£c th iet lap n hu n g m y c tieu. N ha th am van se cung

than chu q u yet djnh xem cach nao co the h u d n g tdi n h u n g m y c
tieu nay. Di'eu n ay se p h y th u oc phan ld n vao thu’c te cua m di quan
he th am van , vi du: so Tan gap m at, m ong m u on cua than chu va
phy th u pc vao dinh h u d n g li th u yet cua nha th am van .

De lam san g rd va n d'e cua th an chu tir n h u n g th o n g tin thu

thap d u p c, n h a th a m va n co th e m d h in h h o a cac m oi q u an h e cua
than chu th eo b ieu do d ud i d a y de co giai p h ap ta c d on g va o ai
tron g cac m oi q u an h e ran g b u o c - le th u o c v a cd an h h u d n g tdi
cac th an chu va va n d'e cu a h o 1.

V i d y , cd th e to m ta t m o i q u a n h e cu a th a n ch u th e o tin h
h u d n g v a b ie u do d u d i d a y n h u sau:

T in h h u o n g : T h a n ch u la m o t em tr a i 14 tu o i, la co n iit
trong m o t g ia d in h co 5 th a n h vien : bo, m e, a n h va ch j. T ro n g
gia d in h , th a n ch u k h d n g d u cfc a i y eu q u y n g o a i ngU cfi m e. M e
cua th a n ch u m & i 3 7 tu o i, ba d o i x it to t v& i c d c co n tr o n g gia
dinh, d a c b ie t la q u a n tam t&i tha n chii. N g U & i bo 4 2 tu o i
(m a c dii d a li h o n v& i m e n h u n g van so n g tro n g m o t n hd).
N gU & i bo n a y th u & n g co m au th u a n , x u n g d o t v& i th a n chii,
v&i ch j g d i vd k h o n g q u a n tam t&i a n h tra i. T om lai, n g u & i bo
khd n g h e co tin h y e u th u cfn g h a y m o i q u a n ta m t&i cd c th a n h
vien k h a c tro n g g ia d in h .

T h eo b ie u do, th a n chu cd m ot vai n g u d i b an , em yeu q u y ho

nhu ng k h d n g d u p c d ap lai tin h cam nay. E m k h d n g d u p c h o h an g
ben n goai h a y h a n g x o m la n g g ien g yeu quy. E m cu n g k h d n g co
m oi q u a n h e gi v d i b en ho noi. T h a n chu da b o hoc, em co rac roi
vd i p h ap lu a t. H ien em d u p c ho trp b d i ch in h sach cu a n ha nude,
dac b ie t em lu o n d u p c ch am soc b d i h e th o n g y te. Di'eu n a y k h ien
nha th a m v a n lie n tu d n g td i van de b en h tat m a em co th e m ac
phai. C h in h q u y en v a to c h u t d oan th e cd n h u n g q u an ta m td i gia
din h em ...

1 D a n t h e o P a m e l l a K l e i n P d h n e r ( N g u y e n V i£t N g a d jch ), G i& i thieu thu'c hanh

co n g ta e x a hpi, t a p b a i g i a n g , 1 99 8 .
368 Giao trinh T h a m van tam If

Bieu <36 sinh thai than chu

TririrnghQC
nam

Chinh
1 XH

Chinh quyen
dia phircrnq
To chirc
Joan the

Cac ki hieu

- Quan tam, yeu th u ’O’ng, < *

- Binh thu'O'ng ----------------------------►

- Mau thuan xung dot A /W W V W W

- Di>ng dirng, khong quan tam

- Chet ’ Li h° n

- Li t h a n

V ie c m o h in h h o a cac m oi quan he cua than chu giu p cho nha

th am v a n co th e lu p n g gia d u p c van de cua th an chu va dua ra
d u p c ch ien lu p c can th iep n h im cai th ien m oi q uan he cua than
chu vcri n h u n g n gu p i th an tro n g gia dinh, cu n g n h u xem xet su ho
trp cac d ich vu xa hpi m a than chu co the d u p c h tfd n g n h am cai
th ien tin h tra n g cua th an chu.
 C H U O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th a m van tam If 369

T ro n g th a m van ca nhan, sau kh i th u th a p th o n g tin , m o h in h

hoa van d'e cu a th an chu, nha th am van cu n g th a n chu th ao lu an
ve cac giai p h a p va x a y d y n g ke h o ach th y c hien. Vcfi th an chu la
tre em , nha th a m v a n kh i dtfa ra cac giai p h a p can co y kien cua
cha m e h o a c ngtfefi g ia m hp.
- G ia i d oan 3: Lira chon g id i p h a p vd x a y d itn g ke hoach
thirc hien

N h a th a m van k h o n g nen
dtfa ra cac giai p h ap cho th an
chu. T ro n g tru d n g h p p th an chu
kh ong du k h a n a n g dtfa ra giai
phap thtfc hi$n, n h a th a m van
ggfi y cho hp Itfa ch p n giai p h ap
qua v ie c cu n g cap th o n g tin,
ho^c g iu p th a n ch u x a c d jn h cac
nguon ho trp v a nhtfng gid i han
de co dtfpc g ia i p h a p p h u hpp.
N ha th a m va n co th e g p i y giai
phap n h tf sau: w w w .m y .o p e r a .c o m

- M o t so n g itd i tro n g hoan canh cua an h ho da lam n h it the

nay....... (hay, ho dd lien he v& i......d e.....). T uy n hien d ay la g id i
p h a p cu a ho. L a n g it& i tron g cu o c anh b iet rd van de cu a m inh.
Vi vay ch i co a n h m & i b iet g id i p h a p n ao la p h u h $ p v& i m inh.
K h i th a n ch u x a c d in h m pt g ia i p h a p n a o do, n h a th a m v a n
cu n g th a n ch u p h a n tic h th e m a n h v a m a t h a n ch e cu a g ia i
p h ap . C a n to n tr p n g g ia i p h a p m a th a n ch u ly a ch p n , k h o n g
nen b ac b o b a t cu1 m p t q u a n d iem h a y s y ly a ch p n n ao cu a th an
chu. G iu p th a n ch u h ieu v a p h an tich d y p c nhtfng th u a n lp i va
kho k h a n cu a m oi g ia i p h ap Itfa chpn m d i la trach n h iem q u an
trpng cu a n h a th a m va n . V i d y v e v ie c g iu p th a n ch u ttf p h a n tich
lpi h ai cu a m p t g ia i phap:
- N h it v a y la a n h q u y e t d jnh se di th it m au d e k iem tra kha
nang lay n h iem H IV . Theo anh n h itn g d iem la i/ h a i n ao a n h se
cd d it& c neu b iet m in h bj ditcfng tin h ?
370 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

- N e u an h k h o n g d i th it m au thi se co Itfi/hai n a o ?

Sau kh i da cu n g than chu xem xet cac giai p h ap va Itfa chQn

d u p c giai p h ap toi tfu, nha th am van giu p th an chu dtfa ra ke ho^ch
h an h dQng de thtfc hien giai phap dtfQc Itfa chQn; cu ng than chu xay
dtfng m u c dich, m y c tieu cua ke hoach h anh dQng, n htf nhSm dgt
den cai gi? T h d i gian bao lau?... C ac m y c tieu dtfa ra phai ltfQng gia
dtfQc. C ac h oat dQng phai kh a thi, hQp vcfi di'eu kien va kh a nang cua
th an chu. K e h o ach can chi ra cac nhiem v y cy the gan vd i trach
nhi?m ai thtfc hien? Thtfc hien b an g cach nao? T h d i gian bao lau?
N ha th am va n stf d un g ki nang dtfQng dau, k i nang th on g dat de
giup th an chu “dan th a n ” vao ke hoach cua m inh.

- G ia i d o a n 4: T rien k h a i thu’c hien g id i q u y e t van de

D a y la giai d oan th an chu phai h an h dQng de th a y ddi thtfc

trang. T h a n chu b at dau giai q u yet nhtfng van d'e da dtfQc kham
pha d giai d oan 3 m a ca th an chu va n ha th a m van deu da xac djnh.
T h an chu can h ieu rd trach n h iem cua m in h la tich ctfc tham gia
giai q u yet van d'e cu a m inh, b an g cach thtfc h ien ke h o ach d?t ra.
V d i viec stf d u n g nhtfng ki n an g th am van , n htf ki n an g dtfQng dau,
th ach thtfc de g iu p th an chu k h d i dQng de dang, nha th am van
kh d n g la m h(j, k h d n g lam th a y cho th an chu, m a chi kiem tra tien
trin h thtfc h ien n h iem vu cua th an chu. N eu n ha th a m van lam
th a y th a n chu se la m cho th an chu trd nen phu thuQC. Trong
trtfdng hQp th a n ch u kh d n g cd k h a n an g thtfc hien, nha th am van
can stf d y n g ki n an g la m m au de th an chu trai n gh iem va lam theo,
h o a c tim k ie m stf trQ g iu p tu" cac ngu on hd trQ ben n goai cho than
chu. Ddi kh i n h a th a m van cu n g th an chu xem xet lai m u c tieu, giai
ph ap dat ra sao ch o p h u hQp vd i kh a nan g cu a th an chu va di'eu
kien cho p h ep th a n h cong. Q u a trinh trien khai thtfc h ien la mQt
n h iem v y vd cu n g kh o kh an vi nd buQC than chu phai th a y ddi thai
dQ, h a n h vi trtfd c mQt th oi quen da dtfQc lap trin h san tro n g nao.
D e giu p th an chu th a y doi cach cam nhan; th a y doi cach su y nghi;
giu p th a y doi h a n h vi, tro n g nhtfng tinh h u o n g can g th a n g khi than
chu ch u a dap u n g dUQc yeu cau m di nha th am van cd the stf dung
 C H U O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th a m van tam If 3 71

ldi noi dua, noi hai htfdc vofi m u c dich dpng vien th an chu m a
kh ong g a y ap ly c th a y doi of than chu.
Lien q u an den v ie c trien kh ai giai q u yet van de cua th an chu,
trong m pt b u o i th ao lu a n ve kin h n gh iem lam tri h eu (20 0 7) giira
Giao s u A la in S avet, n h a tam li h p c lam san g n g u d i P hap vcfi can
bo K hoa T a m li hpc, D ai h p c K h o a hpc X a h p i v a N h a n van , T hS.
Ph^m M an h H a d at cau h o i ch o giao su:

- D ieu g i x a y ra neu than chu khon g lam th eo ca m k e t v&i

nha tha m van (co n g h ia la anh ta k h o n g lam g i d e t h a y d o i)?
- L u d n co n h itn g than chii co g a n g de th a y d o i ho a n canh
ciia m in h , cu n g co n hirn g ngir& i khdng lam g i cd. H o m u o n thay
doi nhw ng khd n g h a n h d o n g gi. D d la q u y et d jn h cu a hQ. D a o
dire n ghe n g h iep khd n g cho p h e p nha tham va n q u y e t d jn h van
de cua than chii, d a c b iet y eu cau ho lam d ieu ho k h d n g m uon.
N ha tha m van co the th u y e t p h u c than chii, n hirn g khd n g the
lam thay ho. N e u tha n chii tir ch o i thay d o i thi d o la v ie c ciia ho.
D ieu nay khd n g cd n g hia la nha tham van th a t ba i hay kem cdi -
Y kien ciia G ia o sir S a v et.
G iai d oan th a n ch u trien kh ai thtfc h ien de giai q u yet van de
p h y th u p c v a o q u a n d iem tiep can van de cu a n h a th a m van . T h e o
N eu k ru g (19 9 9 ), n eu n h a th a m va n d u p c d jn h huofng th eo h u d n g
tiep can n h a n v a n th i th a n chu d u p c ttf th u c d a y de la m v ie c vd i
nhtfng chu de da d tfpc x a c d in h m a n g tin h n h a n v a n - h ien sin h
(vi d y n h tf n h tfn g v a n de lien q u an d en lo n g ttf trp n g). N eu n h a
tham v a n th eo h tfd n g tiep can n h an th u ’c/ h a n h vi, th i th a n ch u se
lam vi^c m pt cach tich ctfc vd i stf th a y doi n h an th u ’c v a h a n h vi
(vi d y n h tfn g ld i tu y e n b o nhtf “T di th a t vd d y n g ” se d tfpc th a y th e
va nhtfng h a n h v i ttf k h a n g d in h dtfpc lu y e n tap ). C dn n eu n ha
th am v a n th eo h tfd n g tam d pn g h p c th i th a n ch u se k h a m p h a
nhtfng ch u de da d tfpc xac d in h tro n g b u o i th a m va n (n h tf nhtfng
tac d p n g tro n g q u a kh tf len cac m oi q u an h e h ien tai). K hi th an
chu tra i q u a d tfpc cac va n de cua hp, hp tr d n en san sa n g de th y c
h ien v a k e t th u c v ie c th a m van.
3 72 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m If

G iai d o a n trie n k h a i th u ’c hi£n de

giai q u y et v a n de co n gQi la giai do^n T h a o lu a n trurcfng hgfp
"dan th a n ". N h a th a m van nen giu p - Ban se noi gi neu quyet
th an ch u th a m gia to i da ve co n g sire, djnh ket thuc qua trinh
th d i gian , su y tu" va o tim k ie m n<?i ly c tham van v&i khach hang
d e b a t ta y v a o g ia i q u y et va n de. N h a b&i vi ban cam thay hoan
th a m v a n g iu n g h ie m tu c v e g id giac, toan chac chan rang than
tro n g n h u n g q u y e t d in h v a cd hQp chii khdng the dat ditcfc bat
d o n g la m v i§ c rd ran g. D e th a n chu ki m ot tien trien nao?
th a y ddi h o a c th o a t ra kh di h o a n - Ban se lam gi neu khach
can h cu th e, can g ia o n h i?m v y cy hang ciia ban phan doi vi$c
th e ch o th a n ch u th y c h ien k h i d ket thiic tham van mac du
nha: la m gi? la m th e n ao? Bat dau tu" anh ta cung biet rang qua
n h u n g co n g v i§ c vira ta m , tir nhd den trinh tham van nay khong
ld n ; de d en k h o , d o n gian den p h u t the lam than chii tien bo?
tap. N hi£m v y d n h a g iu p th a n chu
b ie t q u y th d i gian , to n trQng cac b u o i th a m va n v a b ie t ch iu trach
n h iem v e vi£c th a y doi. Di'eu q u an trQng la g iu p hQ th a y diTQc s y
n g h iem tu c tro n g th a m van . N h a th a m v a n lu d n cd d oi hdi de
th an ch u co g a n g th u c h i?n n h u n g ca m k e t b a n d'au.
- G ia i d o a n 5: L itcfn g gia va k e t thu c
Cd h a i lo a i lUQng gia tro n g th a m van : LUQng gia th u dn g
x u ye n v a lUQng g ia k h i k e t th u c. LUQng gia th u d n g x u yen dUQc
tie n h a n h tr o n g su o t q u a trin h th a m va n , n h a m x a c d in h ket qua
d at dUQc sau m d i g ia i d oan . LUQng gia th u d n g x u yen giu p cho
th a n ch u di d u n g v a o va n d'e, tra n h lan m an . N d n h u n h im g diem
d im g de b u d c sa n g d iem ke tiep . N h a th a m van n am y ch in h ciia
v a n d'e, k ip th d i di'eu ch in h , th a y d oi g iu p th a n chu cam nhan tot
hQn tin h h u d n g cu a m in h . N g o a i ra, lUQng gia cdn g iu p kiem tra
lai x e m n h a th a m v a n v a th a n chu cd h ieu y n h au kh d n g. L u an g
g ia to t n h a t la de th a n ch u tu to m lUQc, k ie m y, x e m hQ cd hieu rd
v a n d'e d u n g , cd n g h e v a n h d n h u n g di'eu vira th a o lu a n kh d n g.
LUQng g ia k e t th u c k h i q u a trin h th a m va n den giai d o a n ket
th u c. N h a th a m v a n n en lUu y den n h im g tien bQ th a n ch ii da dat
dUQc de cim g co v a ta n g cu d n g niem tin n a i th a n ch ii. N h a tham
van can ndi d e th a n chii b iet la hQ ludn dUQc ho trQ, g iu p d d khi
can th iet. K hi lU dng g ia can th ao lu^n cu n g th a n ch ii ket q u a m a
C H l/ O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th a m van tam If 3 73

ho da d at dirpc: H p da hpc dirpc gi? N g u o n lu c nao g iu p cho hp

d^t d u p c n h u va y? N eu th an chu kh o n g h oan th a n h d u p c n hiem
v y nao th i can tim ra n gu yen n han , m a k h o n g nen trach m oc, can
chi ra d u p c n h iem vu can sira ch u a neu can th iet.
T h eo d o re P. R em ley, lu at s u T ru d n g Dai hpc T o n g hpp
M ississp p i (H oa K y) tron g b an h p p don g th am van cua m inh da
viet rang: Khi kh a ch h a n g hoan toan kiem soat d u p c b an th an thi
day cu n g la th d i d iem de ket th u c n hu n g quan he th am van. V a day
cung la th d i d iem de ket th u c hp p dong th am van. T h am van th anh
cong n ghia la kh a ch h a n g cam th ay rang hp cd th e dUPng dau, doi
mat d u p c vd i n h u n g thir th ach tron g cupc son g sau n ay m a khdng
can s y can th iep cu a n ha th am van. K leinke (1994) chi ra m pt so
bieu hien ve s y tru d n g th an h cua than chii, n h u s y giam thieu h oac
m at cac trieu ch im g; cd kh a nang hieu b iet va giai q u yet nan de neu
nd tai phat; cam th a y yeu ddi, n h ift tinh lam viec v a cd hieu qua;
khdng cdn d ua va o sU giiip d d cua nha th am van.
N h u va y, k h i th a n chu b at dau th au h ieu van de cu a m in h thi
cd rat It li do de tiep ty c cupc th am van. W a rd (19 8 4 ) ch o r in g
th am van la m p t tro n g so it n h u n g m oi q u an h e th a n th iet, gan bd
n hu ng lai b i k e t th u c kh i h et th d i han. D ieu n a y cd n g h ia la th an
chu va n h a th a m va n se phai trai qua cam g ia c m at m at k h i ch ia
tay. D e tra n h tin h tra n g ro i vao M n g h y t, b in rin cd th e x a y ra,
tru d c kh i k e t th u c q u a trin h th a m van , n ha th a m v a n nen n d i lo n g
m oi q u an h e v d i th a n chu th eo cach dan rp n g sd lan gap g d vd i
than chii. V i d y , n eu n h u tru d c d ay m di tu a n th a n chii gap nha
th am va n m p t la n th i n h a th am van se h en gap th a n chu 2 tu an
m pt lan , roi 3 tu a n m pt lan, h a y 2, 3 th a n g m p t lan , sau do 6
th an g m pt la n ... D di k h i n ha th am v a n cu n g ro i va o ca m gia c h a n g
h y t k h i k e t th iic m oi q u an h e th a m van . S u h u t h a n g n a y cd th e do
m oi q u a n h e th a n th ie t tro n g su ot th d i gian dai la m v ie c cim g
n hau g iu a n h a th a m v a n va th an chii; cd th e do n h a th a m va n cam
th a y ch u a g iiip gi d u p c cho th an chii nen m u on m u k e o th e m th d i
gian , h o a c cd th e n h a th a m va n ch ua tin tu d n g v a o k h a n an g tu
dUPng d au ciia th a n chii. T ro n g tin h h u o n g nav, n ha th a m van
d an h ch u t th d i g ia n de tu xem xet kh ia can h n h a y cam ciia m oi
q u a n h e vd i th a n ch ii, th am k h a o y kien ciia cac nha g ia m sat h a y
ch ia se v d i cac d o n g n gh iep la v ie c lam can th iet.
3 74 Giao trinh T h a m van tam It

G o o d y e a r (19 8 1) cho ran g vi§c ch am d u t nen la m ot tien trinh

tir tir de th a n ch u v a n ha th am va n co thcfi gian doi p h o vcri s y mat
m at lien q u an v a th a o lu an xem ho co d at d u o c nhirng m y c tieu
da d in h h a y k h o n g . V i n h ieu van de co th e m a n g th eo chung
nhi'eu g a n h n a n g v'e cam x u c nen nhi'eu th a n ch u se co gang
p h o n g v ? h o a c ch o n g lai qua trin h ch am dut. Di'eu n a y co the xay
ra th eo nhi'eu cach:
1. T h a n chu co th e se k h a n g k h a n g r in g ho can th em thdi
g ian de la m vi$c v'e (cac) van d'e.
2. N h u n g va n d'e m d i cd th e se d ot n got n a y sinh.
3. T h a n ch u cd th e b i t dau bd Id cac b u o i th a m van vd i co
g in g tra n h b a n v'e stf ch am d u t h o a c th£m chi b at n g d ket thuc
v ie c trj li?u .
4. T h a n ch u cd th e se d ot n h ien trd n en t u t gian n ha trj li?u
v d i co g in g tu d at k h o a n g cach cho m in h.
5. T h a n ch u cd th e se vo i v a ket th u c vi£c tri li£u (dan theo
N e u k ru g , 19 9 9 ).
S u k e t th u c m oi q u an h e th am van se la hop li kh i th an chu s in
sang ndi v'e nd v a b an lu an v'e cam giac m at m at khi phai chia tay
vd i n h a th a m van . H oac kh i th an chu to n g ket lai d u o c nhung
th an h co n g m a m in h d a dat d u p c tro n g q u a trin h th a m va n va than
chu b iet r i n g m in h cd th e q u a y lai gap n ha th a m van kh i m uon.
- G ia i d o a n 6: T heo d o i sa u k h i k et th u c

N h a th a m v a n cd th e tao d y n g
m oi q u an h£ x a hdi v d i th a n ch u sau
k h i ch am d u t m d i q u a n h£ th a m van .
T u y n h ien ca c q u y di'eu dao du’c can h
b ao r i n g sau 2 n am ch am d u t th a m
va n n eu n h a th a m v a n tao d u n g m oi
q u an h<? v d i th a n ch u , n go ai q u an he
th a m v a n (vi du q u a n h ? tin h cam ) thi
p h ai cd tra c h n h iem k iem tra m ot
cach can th a n tin h tra n g cua th an chu
w w w .vie tcn n .co m
v a cu n g cap tu lieu ch u n g m in h r in g
n h u n g q u a n h e n h u th e k h o n g cd b an ch at lo i d u n g - neu nha
C H U O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th am van tam If 375

tham van bi than chu kien cao. (Hiep hpi Tham van Hoa Ky,
1995a, Tieu chuan A. 7. b).
6 V ie t N am , v ie c sir d u n g ket h p p n h im g k! n an g th a m van
vdi n h au v a tUPng im g vcri tim g giai d oan cua m pt q u a trin h th am
van la va n d'e ch u a d u p c q u an tam . C ac ca th a m va n h ien n a y do
cac can bp th a m va n V ie t N am tien h an h ch u a h o a ch din h d u p c
phUPng p h ap m a hp ta c d pn g len th an chu, xac d in h so lan gap gp
giua th an chu va n h a th a m va n tro n g gid i h an thcfi gian la bao
lau... C ac cupc th a m va n h a u n h u tp1 phat, th a n ch ii co van d'e va
den gap n h a th a m v a n h a y gpi dien cho n ha th a m van co khi chi
mpt lan, neu th a m v a n q u a th u thi cu n g rat h iem k h i h oi am nen
nha th a m van k h o n g th e tin h to an den giai d oan th a m va n nao thi
sir d y n g k i n a n g nao.

II. L A P H O S O D A N H G l A B A N D A U

T ru d c k h i d u a ra cach thirc giu p d d th an chii nha th a m van

can th y c h ien m pt d an h gia toan dien b an dau - D an h gia d u p c
th y c h ien sau v a i b u o i la m viec vd i th an chu. D o la m pt b an b ao
cao cho p h ep n h a th a m va n th au h ieu n h u n g va n d'e h ien tai cua
than chu, q u a do sir d u n g cac ki n an g th am v a n v a cim g th an chu
xem xet ca c ch ie n lu p c th ich h p p , k h a thi. H o sP d an h gia b a n dau
can b ao g o m n h u n g npi d u n g sau:

A. Nhitng thong tin ve than chu

1. T ho n g tin cd nhan

N h u n g th o n g tin ca n h an n h u hp v a ten , g id i tin h , n g a y th a n g

nam sin h , la co n thir m ay, dia chi th u d n g tru, trin h dp va n hoa,
n ghe n g h iep ...

2. Van d e hien tgi: Tinh trang van de

D au h ieu k h d i dau, vi du bi ch o n g dan h , th i trUpt dai hpc,

n g u d i yeu bd... T in h tra n g van d'e la sU kien x a y r t la m anh h u d n g
td i th a n ch ii, k h ie n th a n chii xin th am van . N h a th a m va n can xac
d jn h cac trieu ch im g d th di ki toan p h at (vi d y tir kh i b iet v p n goai
3 76 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

tin h, th a n ch u b a t dau th eo d oi v p b a n g m oi b ien p h a p va gia

d in h b a t dfau ly c d y e cai v a n h au g a y ca n g t h in g tro n g gia dinh).
N h u n g th o n g tin n h u th d i gian x u a t h ien n h im g trieu ch im g ngoai
tin h , stf roi lo a n gia d in h , k h a n in g th ich n g h i vd i th y c te, noi trp
giu p v a k e t q u a - n eu co, tin h h in h h ien tai...

3. L ich s it van de: N h u n g th o n g tin v e con n g u d i than chii

tro n g q u a khir, m oi q u an h e cua th an chu v d i gia d in h , chii yeu la
v d i ch a m e, n h u tieu sir b an th an th an chu tro n g q u a trin h phat
trien (tir tin h tra n g m an g th ai, sau sin h v a tam li sure kh oe ciia
n gu d i m e; tin h tra n g b en h tat, sire k h o e cu a th an chii; qua trinh
h o c ta p v a th ic h n g h i xa h oi cu a th an chu; th ai do ciia than chii
vd i cac th a n h v ie n tro n g gia din h, cac stf k ien q u an tro n g xay ra
vd i th a n ch u lie n q u an den giao tiep v a co n g viec....).

4. H o a n ca n h gia din h: V i th e v a h o a n can h k in h te gia dinh;

n h u n g th o n g tin lien q u an den cac th a n h vien tro n g gia dinh; xu
h u d n g d a y do co n cai cu a ch a m e; cac s y k ien x a y ra tro n g gia
d in h cd an h h u d n g td i th a n chu v a n g u d i th an ...

5. S ite khoe: T in h tra n g sire k h o e th e ch at v a sire k h o e tam li

h ien tai cu a th a n chu. De d an h gia sure k h o e ta m th a n ciia than
chu d oi k h i n h a th a m va n can giri th a n ch u den b a c sy tam than
de th a m k h a m - k h i cd n gh i van.

6. H o a n ca n h k in h te v a n hoa con g d on g : T ieu m oi trud ng

k ih te, v a n h o a n o i th a n chu song; n h u n g n gu o n h o tr o tir cong
d o n g h a y ch in h sach x a h o i m a th a n ch u cd th e d u p c h u d n g ...

B. A n tWgtig tam li cua nha tham van

1. N h tin g th o n g tin tit q u a n s a t trite tiep: A n tU Q n g ch u n g v'e

th a n chu; n h u n g q u a n sat kh i v a n g gia, n h u n g lu u y lien q u an den
n an de cu a th a n ch u...

2. K e t q u a th a m k h a m y khoa: D an h gia cu a y te.

3. K e t q u a d a n h gid tam li: Ket qua cu a cac ch an d oan ban

d au q u a ca c p h u o n g p h a p (ve tran h , nan d at, ta m k ich , sir dung
k h a y cat, trd c h u y e n ...) v a ket qua t r ie n gh iem ...
 C H U O N G 7 : Qu y trinh th a m van tam If 377

So* <36 danh gia than chu ban <3iu

C. Len ke hoach xit li van de

1. C han d o a n : N hirng kh a n an g va h an ch e cu a th a n chu (cac
dac d iem ta m li, cac k y n an g h an h dQng v a ta c dQng n goai canh
anh h u d n g td i th a n ch u ...).
2. K e h o a ch x it U: T a c d Q n g n h u th e n a o td i t h a n c h u , p h u o n g
p h a p ta c d Q n g , th d i g ia n d tf d o a n .

3. D an h gia k e t q u a nhirng th a y doi, th eo ddi.

4. B a n ton g k e t d a n h gia toan bo qua trinh tham van , n h u n g
kien n gh i dy" p h d n g; th d i gian gap lai...
D ay la p h an vi<?c th an chu can thu'c hi£n de giai quyet van de
cua m inh. T u y n hien de thtfc hi£n dUQc nd n ha th am van can thao
lugn v a h u d n g dan th an chu xac dinh van de, li£t ke giai phap, can
n h ic n h u n g d iem lQi va b at lQi d mQi giai phap, sau do Itfa chQn giai
phap toi Uu h o n ca v a thtfc hi£n chung vd i nhirng stf trQ giup tir nha
th am van , cac d ich v y xa hQi va ngudi than (neu cd the).

III. H U O N G DAN TH V C HIEN XI/ LI TINH HUONG

T rie n k h a i thtfc h i?n de giai q u yet van de, nd doi hdi m Q t so

b u d c sau:
3 78 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

Bw&c l: X a c djnh van de

• T h an chu chi ra n hu ng hanh vi m an g tin h trieu ch u n g va lap
th an h dan h sach cac trieu chim g. N h a th am van h u d n g dan
th an chu hoan th an h m pt ban liet ke nhung van de. nhung lo
lan g m a th an chii th ay can d u p c giup dd tru d c khi den gap nha
th am van.
• N ha th am van giup than chu s ip xep, nhom n h im g thong tin
th u dUdc vao mQt so nhom gQi la “nhom cd cim g chii d e ”.
• N h a th am va n th ao luan cung than chu n him g lo lin g va xem
xet cac h oat dQng cua than chu cd theo m u c tieu de ra va mang
tinh p h at trien h a y kh on g va cd phu hQp vd i h anh vi theo chuan
m u c CQng d on g/xa hQi h a y khdng?
V i du, th a n ch u ke vd i n h a th a m va n ve cau ch u y en n goai tinh
cu a v q an h ta. C au ch u yen cd k h a n h ieu tin h tiet. Sau khi nghe,
n h a th a m v a n cd th e h u d n g d in th a n chu lie t ke cac th o n g tin, s y
k ien . Sau do x a c d in h sU kien nao la q u an trQng n h at, s u kien nao
la n g u y e n n h a n ch in h se k e o th eo s u k ie n kh ac... N h a th a m van co
th e sQ do h o a ca c s u k ien de g iu p th a n ch u n h in th a y ch iin g m Q t
cach m a ch la c (cd th e n h u sQ do d u d i day). V ie c s i p xep cac sQ do
n en th eo n h o m va n de:

Xac djnh van de cua than chu

C H U O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th am van tam If 379

Vi d y, ve p h ia than chu: G ian vgf, ghen b on g ghen gid, cong vigc

chenh m ang va chua biet x irli the nao.
Ve p h ia vQ: N goai tinh (theo than chu noi), kh on g cham soc
con cai, m uon li hon.
Phia gia dinh va: Bao che cho con gai...
T heo D um ont (1993), trong giai doan dau tien, cang sdm cang
tot, nha tham van co gang thu thap m pt cach khai quat n hu n g trai
nghiem cam xuc, niem tin cua than chu ve n hu n g di'eu xay ra va ve
ban than. C hung d u p c the hien qua viec xac dinh cac han h vi co van
de. N ha tham van nen hoi cang day du cang tot v'e han h vi, su y nghi,
cam xuc, tam tran g va tin h trang cP the cua than chu. V i d y sp nguy
hiem; am anh lo au, k e m dUPng dau; thieu sinh lyc, thieu dpng cP,
s y suy ngam ve gia dinh va nhung lo lan g khac, s y kem tap trung,
nhim g m au th u an vd i b an cung phdng, lo lan g v'e s y t y lap, sU p h y
thupc vao b an trai, p h y thupc vao s y chap th u an ciia m e; sU cd lap,
nhung m y c dich kh d n g rd rang, s y lam d yn g cua b an trai, xu n g dpt
vdi bo; bat ly c vd i b an cung phdng; kho ngu, thieu qua quyet trong
cong vigc...

B it& c 2: P h a n tich van de.

Y eu cau th a n ch ii v ie t ra tat ca ca c va n de cd th e gap phai
V i du: G ia i p h a p ch o n g u y cP bd nhau . Y e u cau th a n chu liet
ke n h u n g v a n d'e m a th a n chu cho la n g u y c o ra giay; th a o lu an
vdi th an ch u v e n h u n g n g u y cP do; dpc tai lieu , trd ch u y en ve
ngu y cP do; q u a n sat th y c te n h u n g n g u d ico h o a n can h tu p n g tU;
th u trai n g h iem n h u n g n g u y cP.

B it& c 3: L ie t k e ca c g id i p h a p co the th itc hien v&i n h itn g

thuan l&i vd b a t la i tron g m oi g id i p h a p

V ie c th a o lu a n v d i n ha th a m van ve n h u n g n g u y cP m a ca
nhan ca m th a y, v i du, n h u n g n g u y cP cu a s u tan ra gia d in h lien
q u an d en vi th e ca n h a n ciia th a n chu, th iet ve tin h cam , k in h te,
van de co n cai... N h u n g th u a n lp i, kh o kh an tro n g cac tin h h u o n g
n av la gi?

B it& c 4: D a n h gid cd c g id i p h a p vd lita chon g id i p h a p tdi 1tu

380 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

Sau kh i p h an tich n h u n g diem lQi hai, can xac djn h giai phap it
rai ro nhat, giai phap tot h o n ca. V iec dan h gia va ly a chQn giai phap
can n im tro n g tin h kh a thi cua ca nhan, n h u kh a nang, dieu kien
kh ach quan v a chu quan cho viec th y c hign, thcri gian, nguon lyc...

Bw&c 5: D u ’a ra n hitn g yeu cau trcf giu p d e g ia i q u y et van de

C an n h a c tim g b u d c vd i n h u n g yeu cau trQ g iu p ben ngoai,

n ha th a m v a n cd th e g iu p cac th an ch u tim k ie m cac n gu on lyc,
cac d ich v y de hQ th y c hign dUQc cac giai p h a p ciia m in h .

BiT&c 6: L K cfn g gid k e t qua

K iem tra ca c g ia i p h a p v a vig c th y c h ign ke h o a ch xem cd can

s y a doi h a y b o su n g di'eu n ao ch o m y c tieu giai q u y et van d'e cua
ca n h a n dUQc h o a n th a n h .
IV. p h A n t i c h s \J b i e n d o i t A m l i t r o n g quA
TRIN H TH AM VAN /TRI LIEU
K a th ry n G e ld a rd v a D avid G eld a rd (2 0 0 0 ) da m d ta qua trinh
b ie n d o i n<?i ta m cu a th a n chu cd roi lo an ca m x u c - gQi la Vdng
x o a n oc cu a s u b ie n doi tri lie u 1. P hd n g th eo m d h in h n a v chung
tdi m in h hQa v e cac g ia i d oan b ieu h ign n h u n g xao trQn cam xuc
v a h a n h vi ch o n g d oi d tre vd i mQt tr u d n g hQp n h u sau:
"C h a cu a du’a tre m d i q u a ddi. T re dau k h o "m u o n di cim g
ch a", vi v | y nd k h d n g th ie t son g. N g u d i ta m d i n h a th a m van den
trd ch u y e n v d i du’a tre".
1. T r e b i x a o t r o n t i n h c a m . Di'eu n a y th e h ien d sU dau
k h o do cai ch e t dQt ngQt cu a n g u d i b o, m a tre cir cho rang cd
n g u ye n n h a n tir p h ia tre.
2. T re d o n g y d en g a p n h a th a m va n n h d g iu p dd, t r e hQ p
t a c v & i n h a t h a m v a n . K hi tre tiep xu c lam v ie c vd i n ha tham
v a n , n h a th a m v a n can giai th ich cho tre h ieu tin h ch at va m yc
d ich cu a th a m va n . Sir d u n g ca c ki n an g de tiep x u c to t vd i tre (vi
th a n ch ii la tre em n en cd th e can cac lieu p h a p trd ch o i d e cd s y
hQp ta c cu a tre), q u a do h ieu tre.

1 Kathiyn Geldard & David Geldard (Nguyen Xuan Nghia va Le Lqc dich). Cong tac
tham van tre em - Gi&i thieu va thuc hanh - Tap 1, NXB DH Md ban cong Thanh
pho Ho Chi Minh, 2000.
C H K O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th a m van tam li 381

3. T r e b a t d a u t h u a t c h u y e n c u a m i n h . T ro ch u yen vofi
nha th a m van , tre ke ch u yen ve n gu d i ch a tro n g gia dinh. N h u n g
ki niem g iu a h ai bo con co lien q u an den n h u n g n g u d i k h a c tron g
gia dinh, n h u n g d ieu to t dep. B an g k i n an g la n g n gh e, dat cau hoi,
thau cam n h u n g cam x u c d u p c la n g xu o n g, tre ke ve n h u n g
chuyen x a y ra tru d c k h i dng ay m at, ke n h ieu h o n ...
4. N h a n th u 'c c u a t r e v e c d c v a n d e c u a m i n h g i a
t a n g . K hi cau ch u y en gia ta n g vd i n h ieu tin h tiet m d i, d a y cd the
la lu c tre b a t d au cam th a y b at on khi ndi ve m in h h a y ve cha
m inh. V i du, tre k h d n g m u on n hac den n h u n g q u a kh ir lien quan
den ch a m e m in h . S u ch o n g doi vd thu’c da n gan can k h d n g cho
tre b a y to n h u n g x u n g dot, s u phan u at bj de nen b en tro n g b p c Iq
ra ngoai. D a y la giai d oan q u an trQng cua q u a trin h th a m van b d i
luc n a y tre y thirc v e cac s u kien x a y ra vd i cac cam x u c th u’c.
T h o n g th u d n g th a n chu phai dUQng d au v d i cac cam xuc
m gnh, n h u n g su y n gh i lech lac. De tron th o a t n h u n g tin h cam , y
nghi k h d n g h ay, d th a n chu cd th e xu at h ien cac cQ ch e t y v e cai
tdi vd thifc. D a p h a n th a n chu se ne tran h th a o lu a n b at cir di'eu gi
gay ra d au d d n b i n g cach g iu im lin g , di le ch v a n de h o a c th u
m inh, d oi p h o v d i s y de kh an g. V d i n h u n g va n d'e dau d d n rat
hiem k h i th a n ch ii trd nen on ao, h u n g h an . O giai d oan n a y neu
nha th a m v a n ep th a n chu dUQng d'au tro n g k h i th a n chu ch u a
s in san g th i chi la m ta n g len mire dQ lo au cu a th a n ch u. Di'eu n ay
cd th e d an d en s y ch a m dirt giao tiep cd y nghia. M a t kh ac, gap
khi th an ch u b e t i c , n h a th a m va n cu n g k h d n g nen lam ngQ, “cho
q u a ”. N h a th a m va n can nhan d ien dUQc tin h ch at ciia s y p h d n g
ve, d'e k h a n g de p h a n h o i th a u cam vd i th a n chu. V i du, n h a th a m
van cd th e ndi: "K h i ch u n g ta sQ (ta d au d&n ve..., ta buon
v e ......... ), ta th tfd n g k h o n g m uon n h a c t&i ch u y en do, ta ch i
m uon q u en no d i v .v ...” . C ach th au cam n h u v$y th u d n g la m cho
th an ch u ca m th a y an tam , cam th a y dUQc th o n g cam , v i v a y cd
the th a n ch ii la i m u o n tiep tuc. K hi tre da thu m in h, d i chech
h tf& n g va co bieu hien qua cd c ccf ch e ttf ve cd i to i k h a c n hau , de
k h d n g . N h u v a y tien trin h th a m va n bi "giat lu i" (th e h ien qua
4.1, 4 .2 ). L u c n a y cd th e tre tiep ty c d oi p h o v d i s y de k h a n g , ne
tra n h .v .v ... K hi tre tiep tu c ne tran h (4.3, 4 .4 ), n eu dUQc n h a th am
v a n h o trQ tich eye, tre se th a y doi y d in h v a lai hQp ta c v d i n ha
382 Giao trinh T h a m van tam If

th am v a n (q u a y la i giai doan 2) de tiep ty c ke chuv^n cu a minh

(giai d oan 3).
Stf do: Cac giai doan bieu hi£n nhirng xao trpn
cam xuc trong tien trinh giup dd than chu

N eu n h a th a m van p h a t h ien v a li giai dirpc su" ch o n g doi, s y

de k h a n g do v a g iu p th a n chu doi m at dirpc vcri su" th a t nao do thi
n h an th u ’c cu a th a n ch u v e cac va n d'e d u p c gia ta n g , th a n chu se
tiep tu c th u a t ch u yen .
5. T re tie p tu c th u a t ch u yen cua m in h v a tiep x u c v d i cac cam
g ia c m a n h n a y
N eu tre doi p h o dirpc vd i sir d'e k h a n g , tre se tiep tu c qua
trin h th a m van . N e u tre k h d n g diTPng d au d u p c v d i cac cam xuc
m a n h n a y th i cac v a n d'e m d i x u a t h ien . N h u n g va n de n a y lai gay
n h u n g xao trQn v'e tin h cam d tre. N h a th a m va n lai p h ai b at dau
v d i n h u n g v a n d'e m d i (5.1. van d'e k h a c xu at h ien , tro n g kh i van
d'e cu n g tre ch u a doi p h o d u p c). Luu y, kh i th a m van v d i th a n chu
la tre em , cd th e cd su1 ch u y en vai tich c u t h o a c tieu cUc len nha
th a m va n do n h a m tu d n g n ha th am van la n h an vat tro n g cau
ch u y en cu a th a n chu. S u ch u yen vai th u d n g bi an h h u d n g tir vai
trd gid i tinh: N h a th a m van nam tro n g vai trd ciia n g u d i d an dng,
cdn n h a th a m va n nir tro n g vai trd ciia ba, m e, v p (tot h o a c xau).
C H U O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th am van tam li 383

N ha th a m van can co k i nan g n han dign van d'e de g iu p th a n chu y

thu’c v'e s y ch u yen vai nay.

6 . Q u a trin h th am van se tiep ty c th eo giai d oan tiep th eo, lu c

nay tre doi pho v&i nhitng niem tin sai lech, huy hoai.
N htfng niem tin sai lgch nhir: toi that vo d yn g nen kh ong ai yeu
toi; toi la du’a tre xau xi, khong de thirong; rang ngirdi ldn hay
that hira; rang m uon ton tai d tren ddi nay dirpc thi phai biet
tranh danh v.v... X a y dyn g cho than chu niem tin ngtfQc lai bang
vigc cung cap bang chim g, cung cap cu" ligu cho thay nhirng diem
manh cua than chu de nang cao long t y trQng cho than chii, de
loai bd niem tin tieu eye. V i dy khi mQt dira tre cir tin rang chi no
bj triTQt dai hQC la do nd chira giup dd cho chi nd lam cac vigc v£t
trong nha. D a y la niem tin khdng dung. N h a tham van cd the hdi:
Vi sao em biet chi gai cua em bi triTQt dai hQe la do em ? N eu em
triTQt dai hQC thi do la do loi cua em hay loi cua ngirdi k h a c”.
K ath ryn G e ld a rd v a D avid G eld a rd (2 0 0 0 ) x a c d in h cac biTdc
thach thirc n iem tin sai lgch nhir sau:
- N h a th a m va n p h an h o i lai n iem tin sai lgch cu a th a n chu.
- G iu p th a n ch u x em xet n iem tin ay d en tir dau.
- K h am p h a cach su y nghi, lap lu^n n iem tin d o cu a th a n chu.
- G iu p th a n ch u tim k iem n iem tin th a y th e.
- G iu p th a n chu liru tam den n h im g th o n g tin k h o chiu.
- G iu p th a n ch u xac d in h ai la ngirdi ch iu trach n h igm v'e
h anh vi nao?
- G iu p than chu thay the niem tin khdng phu hQp ban g niem
tin phu hQp.
Tre xem xet kha nang lita chon, xay dung lai cdc
7.
moi lien he, xac dinh thay doi hanh vi. V igc nha th a m va n chi
ra ditQc ch inh xac cac iru diem ciia tre h ay loai bd cac n iem tin sai
lgch, niem tin h u v hoai d tre giup cho tre birdc vao giai doan m d i -
giai d oan tim kiem va ly a chQn cac phirong an han h dQng m di.

Khi lira chQn hanh vi, can de cho than chu lirdng thay cac mat diTQc
va han che ciia phirong an lira chQn. Than chu can lirdng thay diTQc
nhung kho khan cd the cd trong vigc tao lap nhim g mdi lien hg mdi.
384 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

8. Tre tap ditqrt vd the nghiem cdc hanh vi m&i. Nha

th am va n g iu p tre p h at trien cac k i n an g xa hpi th o n g q u a cac tro
ch o i s&m va i v a th y c hi$n ca c p h ieu k iem tra nh$n thu'c.

9. Tre dat t&i sir quyet tam vd thuc hi$n cdc hoqit
dQng thich nghi. T re b p c Iq co n g kh ai su y n g h i v a cam xu c cua
m in h , t y g ia i q u y et ca c m oi q u an h ? cu a m in h.
N h in va o s o do trQ giu p ch u n g ta th a y n h im g b ieu h i?n chong
doi vo th u’c do th an chu k h o n g difOng dau d u p c vcri s y th£t va s y
xu at h i?n cac cO ch e p h o n g v? of th an chu dien ra th u d n g xuyen
kh ien n h a th a m va n m at nhieu th d i gian va tri tu ? de g iu p than chu
v u p t q u a d u p c cac cam giac b at on de n hin van de n h u nd von co,
qua dd ly a chpn giai p h ap v a th y c hi£n de cim g co h an h vi m di.

V. CONG TAC GIAM SAT TRONG THAM VAN

1. K hdi niem giam sat trong tham van

G iam sat (hay doi khi cdn gpi la huan luyen, kiem huan) la mpt
hoat dpng trp giup cho cac nha tham van m di vao nghe, cac chuyen
gia h a y cac sinh vien cuoi kh oa nham m y c dich giup dd hp ngay cang
vung van g hpn. T ron g qua trinh trp giup, nha giam sat tap trung vao
vi$c giup cho cac nha tham van
Khi lam viec v&i ttf van vien
s y d yn g nan g lu c cua hp hi<?u qua
giam sat & ccf s& toi nhan ra
h o n de dan tien tdi s y dpc lap
minh chtfa the hien nhieu stf thau
trong cong vi£c.
cam v&i than chii. Neu dtfpc tien
G ia m sat d u p c x em la m pt hanh lai ca tham van do tdi se sit
lo a i h in h t u v a n d ac b i?t. Cd th e dung ki nang thau cam nhieu
ndi n o m na co n g v i§ c cu a n g u d i hern de than chii co cam giac
g ia m sat n h u sau: T di (nha dtfpc chia se sau hefn vao nhtfng
g ia m sat) v a b a n (n h a th a m ndi dau vd mat mat ciia ho. Qua
va n ) d a n g ndi v e hp (th an chu giam sat toi nhan ra dtfpc rang
cu a b a n ) v d i m u c d ich n a n g cao khi tom tat van de ciia than chii
k ien th u ’c, k i n a n g de b a n giu p tdi ndi cdn ddi lam than chii kho
d d th a n ch ii cu a m in h to t h on . nam dtfpc van de chinh md ho

N h u v a y, g ia m sat la m pt cdn tap trung suy ngam. CHTH,

lo a i tu va n tr o n g do th an chu K49, 2007)
(la cac n h a th a m va n ch u a d up c
C H U O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th am van tam II | 385

hanh ngh'e d g c lap ) th am kh ao y kien ngtfdi giam sat de n an g cao

kha n a n g lam vi£c v d i th an chu cua m inh. H ay ndi cach khac:
giam sat la m ot m oi q u an he lien ca nhan sau sac, tro n g dd m ot
ngtfdi dtfQc ch i d jn h de tao dieu ki<?n th u an lQi ch o stf p hat trien
nang ltfc th a m v a n cu a mQt ngtfdi h o a c nhi'eu ngtfdi kh ac
(L ogan bill, H ard i v a D elw o rth , 1982).

H iep h o i G ia o d y e v a G ia m sat N h a th a m v a n (A C E S ) cua

Hoa Ki k h a n g d in h ra n g v ie c g iam sat p h ai lu d n d ien ra tro n g
suot stf n g h iep cu a mQt n h a th a m va n v a k h d n g dirng lai trtfd c
b at cu1trin h do g ia o d y e , b a n g cap h o a c la th a n h v ie n cu a b a t cu"
to chu’c ngh'e n g h ie p n ao th u o c n ha ntfdc h a y ttf n h an (n h tf cac
tru n g ta m su e k h o e ta m th a n CQng d on g, b en h v ien , trtfd n g hoc,
cac n h o m h a y to chu’c th a m va n u n g d y n g ch u y en b iet).

T h e o d in h n g h ia cu a H iep h o i G iao d y e v a G ia m sa t N h a
tham va n , n h a g ia m sa t tro n g th a m va n la nhirn g n h a th a m van
dtfQc b o n h iem tr o n g p h a m vi trtfd n g dai h o c h o a c to chu’c th y c
h anh th a m v a n (m a n g tin h p h ap ly) de q u a n sa t trtfc tie p co n g
viec ch u y e n m o n cu a ca c n h a th a m van . N h a g ia m sa t cu n g cd
the la n h tfn g n gtfd i ch iu tra c h n h iem g ia m sat cac sin h v ie n thtfc
t^p th a m v a n tr o n g th d i g ia n th y c tap n gh e, h o a c g ia m sat cho
cac n h a th a m v a n d a n g m u o n cd ch u n g chi h a n h n g h e cap q u o c
gia va h o cu n g cu n g ca p s y g ia m sat ch o ca c to chu’c b e n n goai.

G iam s a t k h o n g p h a i la:
• T ri lieu tam ly
• Tham van
• P h an x et b an th a n n h a th a m van
• K iem so a t co n g v ie c cu a n h a th a m v a n
• Cd tin h b a n g htfu
• C h e tra c h ldi cu a n h a th am van
• D a n h gia p h a m chat, nan g ly c to t xau cu a n h a th a m va n de
sap xep \ i tri la m viec
• C hi d an h ch o n h a th am van m d i va o n gh e
• C hi vi lQi ich cu a to chu’c
386 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

N h a g ia m sa t co nhi'eu va i tro va tra c h nhi£m , b a o gom vi£c

d am b a o q u y e n lp i cu a th a n chu; k h u y e n k h ic h n h a th am van
tu a n th e o ca c tie u ch u a n d ao du'c, p h a p li v a n g h e n g h ie p va duy
tri n g h ie m tu c k h i la m v i? c vcfi th a n chu cu a he?; k ie m soat vi£c
th u’c hi$n ca c bi£n p h a p la m v i? c vcfi th a n chu cu a cac n ha tham
van ; q u an sat s u p h a t trie n ch u y en m o n cu a ngirdi dirpc giam sat
v a d an h g ia sir tr u d n g th a n h cu a hQ (A C E S , 19 9 5).

V a i trd cu a n h a g ia m sat la chu y mQt cach ch in h xac nhufng

cam x u c v a s u y n g h i cu a n g u d i d u p c g ia m sat va k h i th ich hpp,
d at n h u n g cau hdi ch in h de la m sau sa c h o n b u o i g ia m sat. Nha
g iam sa t to t p h a i th a u cam , lin h h o a t, tru n g thirc va cdi md.
N h u n g n h a g ia m sat to t am h ieu sau ve th a m v a n , cd nhirng ki
n an g n h a n th u ’c v e th a n chu to t va la m pt n g u d i giai q u yet van
de to t. M p t n h a g ia m sat cd k ie n th u ’c v a k i n a n g to t tro n g giam
sat va n cd th e la m vi£c k h d n g hi£u q u a n eu hp k h d n g th e xay
d u n g m p t m o i q u a n h ? tot,
m oi q u a n h$ n g h e n g h iep vd i Viec lam rat y nghia doi v&i tat
n g u d i d u p c g ia m sat. N g u p c cd chung tdi trong th&i gian
la i, n h a g ia m sa t cd th e nh£n thitc tap tai dw an chat cua
ra kha nang ta o dung m oi CIH P la viec viet bao cao thitc
q u a n h ? th a m v a n cu a n g u d i tap giita ky. Sau hai tuan lam
d u p c g ia m sat (n h a th a m v a n ) viec, chung toi viet m ot bao cao
v d i th a n ch u cu a a n h ta n h u neu len nhitng gi dd hoc ditac,
th e n ao q u a vi£ c n g u d i d u p c lam dwac, chita lam dwac, con
g ia m sat th ie t la p m di q u a n h? gap kho khan gi vd neu de xuat
v d i n h a g ia m sat. de co sit dieu chinh trong cach
thWc lam viec tW cd hai phia a
V ay, ai la n g u d i d u p c giam
hai tuan sau. N hitng ngw&i ho
sat? A ces (19 9 5) cho ran g n gu di
d u p c g iam sat la n h u n g nha tra cd nhan xet, danh gid nhitng
diem manh, nhitng diem cdn co
th am va n d an g d u p c dao tao
gang ciia tWng sinh vien. Viec
tro n g cac ch u o n g trin h dai hpc
lam nay giiip chiing tdi trong
d b at cur trin h dp nao, n h u n g
th&i gian thwc tap cdn lai lam
n gu di d an g la m vi£c vd i than
viec cd hieu qua cao han.
chu tro n g cac m di tru d n g utig
d un g la m pt p h an ciia chUPng (Thao luan vdi nhom thyc tap
trin h d ao tao dai hpc cua hp, va t h a m v a n tai C I H P , 2 0 0 - )

cac n ha th a m van da hoan

 C H U O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th am van tam If 387

thanh ch u o n g trin h dao t$o chinh thu’c va d u p c m d i lam vi$c tron g

cac m oi trUofng utig d png th am van.
T h e o d jn h n g h ia ciia Hi<?p hpi G iao d y e v a G ia m sat N h a
th am v a n , n g u d i d u p c g ia m sat la n h u n g n g u d i d an g d u p c dao
t$o de tr d th a n h n h a th a m va n tro n g ca c tru d n g dai h p c d b at ki
trin h dp nao m a hp d a n g lam vi£c vd i cac th a n ch ii tr o n g ca c to
chu’c lin g d y n g n h u m pt p h an ciia chUPng trin h d ao t^o ciia hp,
va cac n h a th a m v a n d a n g la m vi$c ch o cac to ch u ’c th a m van .
T ieu ch uan cho m pt nha giam sat th eo q u y dinh ciia H iep hpi
Giao d ye v a G iam sat N ha th am van H oa Ki b ao g o m n h u n g yeu
cau nhu:
- T o t n g h ie p d ai h p c n g a n h th a m van .
- Cd q u a tr in h la m vi£c th a n h co n g (d u p c ch iin g nh£n) tro n g
vai trd la n h a th a m van .
- Cd ch iin g ch i ciia m pt tro n g cac to ch u c sau: ch iin g ch i ciia
bp g ia o d ye; g ia y p h e p h a n h n gh e ciia n h a n u d e v d i v a i trd n ha
tham va n , ch iin g ch i n h a th a m va n q u o c gia, ch iin g chi la m san g
nha th a m v a n siic k h o e ta m th a n , ch iin g chi n h a th a m va n n ghe.
- T o t n g h iep cac k h o a dao tao giam sat th a m van , b ao gom
cac k h o a d ao ta o ch u y en m on , hpi th ao, k h o a th y c h a n h g iam sat.
- T ie p t y c h p c t$p ch u y en sau ve li th u y e t v a th y c h a n h g iam
sat; cac ho$ t d p n g n g h ie n ciin ve li th u y e t v a th y c h a n h g ia m sat.
G ia o s u S h o s h a n a D. K e re w sk y (D gi h p c O re g o n , M y) cho
ran g sin h v ie n k h i d u p e g ia o cho la m vi£c v d i th a n ch ii deu ra t lo
l&ng k h d n g b ie t m in h p h a i lam th e nao, m in h la m th e o ca ch nao
m d i d u n g , m in h cd la m to n thU Png th a n ch ii k h o n g ...? D o do,
sin h v ie n ca n p h a i cd n g u d i g ia m sat de d am b a o ch o hp g iu p
d u p c th a n ch ii n ip t each d u n g dan , p h u h p p lu£t p h a p v a dao
du’c h a n h n g h e . T h o n g th u d n g chi sin h v ie n to t n g h ie p roi (hp
d an g h p c chU P ng tr in h th a c s!) m d i d u p c h u d n g h o tr p g ia m sat,
n h u n g m p t so tr u d n g cd chU Png trin h h o trp g ia m sa t ch o sin h
v ie n ch u a to t n g h iep .
D e n h a th a m v a n (n g u d i d u p c g ia m sat) tra n h rP i v a o cam
g ia c bi ch a t v a n b d i n g u d i g ia m sat, E .D . N e u k ru g ch o ran g
n g u d i la m co n g ta c g ia m sat th a m va n cd th e sti d y n g cac cau hdi
sau tro n g b u o i g ia m sat:
 Giao trinh Tham van tam If

1. B an (n h a th a m v a n ) u d c la b a n da n o i d u g c d ie u gi vdi
an h ta / co ta (th a n ch u )?
2. B an n g h i la an h ta / co ta se p h a n ufng l?ii n h u th e nao neu
b a n d a n o i n h u th e?
3. Li^u se co n h u n g ru i ro gi tr o n g vi£c n oi n h u n g gi bgn
m u o n n o i?
4. N e u b a y g id b a n cd co hQi, b an cd th e ndi n h u th e n ao vdi
a n h ta / cd ta v'e n h u n g gi b an d a n g n g h i v a ca m th a y?
5. L i?u cd b a t ki su y n g h i nao k h a c x u a t hi<?n tr o n g d au bgn?
6. B an m u o n n g u d i k h a c n h a n th a y b an n h u th e n ao ?
7. N h u n g ca m x u c do b an cd cam n h a n dUdc tre n m Q t so b Q
p h a n cu a c o th e b a n k h d n g ?
8. Li£u b a n cd n h a n th u ’c duQc b a t ki cam x u c n ao khdng?
C a m x u c do cd y n g h ia d ac b i? t nao v d i b an k h d n g ?
9. B an m u o n an h ta/ cd ta ndi gi v d i b a n ?
10. B an n g h i an h ta/ cd ta m u o n gi turban?
11. A n h ta / cd ta cd gQi ch o b an n h d d en ai do tr o n g cuqc

so n g cu a b a n k h d n g ?
N ha tham van, dac bi?t la nhung ngudi m di vao nghe, thudng
dUQc nha giam sat theo ddi va cong vi£c cua hQ ludn dUQc danh
gia. V i vay, d mQt goc dQ khac cac nha tham van th u d n g roi vao
hoan canh de bi ton thu ong, de phdng v$ va ddi khi cd su chong
doi ng'am hoac cong khai vdi ngudi giam sat. Di'eu n ay phu thuQC
vao hang loat nhan to, nhu: dac diem cua ngudi giam sat nhu:
phong cach giam sat, tuoi tac, chung tQC, thai dQ v'e vai trd gidi va
gidi tinh, cac van d'e v'e quyen lu c va nhung dQng luc cua cac moi
quan h? khac; p hong cach ca nhan cua ngudi dUQc giam sat; sy
phu hQp giua p hong cach cua nha giam sat va nha tham van va
hang loat sU phdng v£ m a ngudi dUQc giam sat m ang theo khi den
vdi m oi quan h? do.

2. Cdc hinh thu'c giam sat thu'c tap ccf sd

Vi£c giam sat sinh vien tot nghiep va nha tham van dang
hanh ngh'e tron g cac nganh trQ giup nhin chung dUQc dieu hanh
bdi cac giao sU, va/h oac cac nha tham van lanh nghe duQc chi
dinh. H inh thu’c giam sat dUQc thu’c hi?n qua cac ban g ghi am,
bang v id e o hoac cac buoi tham van tryc tiep vdi phong duoc
C H U O N G 7: Q u y trinh th am van tam If 389

tran g bj ctfa so m pt ch ieu (de nha giam sat h o a c n h u n g sin h vien

kh ac q u a n sat). D oi v d i sin h vien thtfc t§p , kh i d on g va i la nha
tham va n , hQ co th e n h §n dtfpc th o n g tin p h an h oi n g a y l$p ttfc
cua n g u d i g ia m sat th o n g q u a m pt cai di£n th o a i h a y la m pt “cai
m ay gh i am d at tro n g ta i”.

M an hinh vi tinh hudng ve phia nha tham van vdi ban phim
dupc dat tren canh doi di?n cua tam gUOng mQt chieu, nha giam
sat va/ ho§c cac sinh vien cung khoa (ngudi quan sat ca thtfc
hanh cd the danh m ay thong tin phan hoi qua ban phim den m ay
tinh, nhtfng thong tin se dtfpc nha tham van nhin de dieu chinh
cupc tham van cua m inh.
Stf d y n g th tf di£n ttf dtfpc xem la ti£n lpi, v i nd tao cP hpi cho
ngtfdi dtfpc d ao ta o la m vi£c vd i nha giam sa t d m pi npi, m pi luc.
V iet p h u c trin h b u o i th a m van m pt cach can th a n , ti m i cu n g la
cach g iu p ch o ca c sin h vien d an g tro n g giai d oan thtfc t$p cd
nhtfng th o n g tin xtf li sau cac b u o i th a m va n v a g iu p ch o n h a giam
sat q u an li d tfpc co n g v i? c cu a sinh vien.
C ach thtfc g ia m sa t th a y doi th eo stf tien bp cu a ngtfdi dtfpc
giam sat. V d i n h tfn g ngtfdi lan dau tien thtfc h a n h tren th a n chu
(du thi|t h a y sa m va i), ngtfdi giam sat cu n g h tfd n g d an cho sinh
vien n h tf m p t q u y trin h de giu p sinh vien b ie t dtfpc can p h ai lam
gi vd i th a n chu. K h i sin h vien / nha th am v a n tre it nhi'eu da cd
nhtfng k in h n g h ie m , th i stf ch ia se v d i ngtfdi g iam sat th tfd n g t£p
tru n g va o v a n d'e cu a th an chu, cach thtfc n h a th a m va n tiep can
vd i th an ch u , h a y cach nha th am van cam n h an ve co n g vi£c va
ket q u a th u d tfpc cu a m inh. N gtfdi g iam sat k h d n g chi g iu p d d cac
nha th a m v a n n a n g cao nhtfng kien thtfc v a n an g ltfc th a m van
cua hp, m a q u a n trp n g h p n , cac p h am ch at cu a ngtfdi g ia m sat
n htf stf tin c£y, an to a n , kin dao, th o n g cam ... cd th e g iu p n ha
th am v a n b p c lp b a n th a n m a kh d n g sp bi d an h gia.

3. Van de giam sat thitc hanh tham van tai co’so’

D e n a n g cao ki n an g thtfc h an h th a m va n ch o sin h v ie n K49,

K h o a T a m li hpc, D H K H X H N V (2 0 0 7), ch u n g tdi da to chtfc d p t
th tfc ta p cd g ia m sat cu a giao vien d ay th a m va n (giam sat ttf
trtfd n g d^i h p c). C ac co n g d oan cu a qua trin h g ia m sat thtfc tap
d tfpc th ie t ke n h tf sau: De xac d in h cP sd thtfc t£p, giao v ie n giam
sat thtfc t£p lien h e cac dia d iem thtfc tap cd lien q u a n d en cac
390 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

lin h v y c th a m va n , nhir th am va n q ua m a n g (p h o n g th a m van

O n lin e, C IH P ); P h o n g th a m van tr y c tiep ch o ca n h an va nhom
(T rtfd n g T ru n g cap K in h te - Du lich H oa Sira); Tu" va n qua dien
th oai, th u 1 (C o n g ty T tf va n A n Vi£t S o n ). Ngtfefi g iam sat thao
lu an ljch trin h th tfc tap vcfi cO sd, h oi v'e cac co n g vi£c c y the ma
c0 sd d an g la m v a k h a n an g hp cd th e giup.

Vi$c x a y dtfng m y c tieu , ke h o ach thtfc tap ch u n g , p h an cong

sinh v ie n th tfc ta p dtfa th eo nhu cau cua sin h vien , th o n g b ao cho
cac co sd v a n h a n lai stf p h an h oi ttf c o sd dtfpc g ia o vien , sinh
vien va ch u y en gia ttf va n d cO sd b an b ac, ch u an bj ki ltfdng.
Thtfc te ljch thtfc tap th a m van cua sinh vien bj trai dai th d i gian
vi m di c o sd chi la m v i? c l den 2
Trong th&i gian thu'c tap,
b u o i doi v d i ttfn g em . T u y n hien,
chung tdi co mQt so buoi trao
do sin h v ie n cam th a y dtfpc hpc
doi chuyen mon v&i ngtf&i
n gh e th tfc stf n en ca n h o m thtfc
giam sat. Chung toi dirpc giao
t?ip da cd m $t ta i cP sd thtfc tap
nhiem vu ve nha chuan bi
gan n h tf su o t he.
trtf&c mot ca thu c hanh trong
Trtfdc khi xuong cP sd thtfc do co cdc van de nhtf: qua
tap, giao vien giam sat danh 2 trinh ttf van, ki nang dat cau
buoi htfdng dfin, cung cap, bo hoi, ki nang tom tat van de, ki
sung cho sinh vien nhtfng kien nang phan hdi, ki nang thau
thtfc va ki nang lien quan den cam. Trong hai buoi lam vi$c
phan thtfc tap cua hp d cP s d ; tren ca nay, chimg toi cimg
khuyen khich sinh vien lam vi?c nhau nhin lai quy trinh tham
d nha theo bai tap giao vien yeu van; ciing nhau thao luan cach
cau, nhtf: lam ca tham van va ttf xay dtfng mot mo hinh tham
phan tich, danh gia ca theo van mang lai hieu qua nhat;
htfdng dan cua giao vien. cimg nhau xem lai cdc ki nang,
T ro n g q u a trin h sin h vien stf dung cdc ki nang dd khi nao
thtfc tap , g ia o v ie n g ia m sat lam thi mang lai hieu qua...
|
vi£c v d i sin h v ie n tu a n m pt b u o i (Bao cao cua sinh vien thyc t^p
v'e tin h h in h th y c tap tro n g tu an tham van K49, 2007).
cu a sin h v ie n , n h tf th a o lu an
n htfng k h o k h a n m a sin h vien da gap phai k h i va n d u n g li th u yet
va o th tfc h a n h d cP sd; m d rpng kien thtfc v'e th a m v a n ch o sinh
vien ; p h a n h o i y k ie n cu a sin h vien vd i cP sd va n gtfp c lai (n eu cd
v a n d'e). T ro n g cac b u o i lam \i? c vd i sin h v ien , ch u n g tdi da stf
d y n g m p t sd ki n a n g g iam sat, tro n g do chu yeu van d u n g ki n an g
C H U O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th am van tam li 391

hoi va la n g n gh e n h am tan g cUdng cho sin h vien n htfng k i nang

lam vi£c dpc lap vcri doi tu p n g v a g iu p cho sinh vien cam n h an tot
hPn v e cam x u c cu a m in h va cua doi tUQng, g iu p sin h vien nang
cao k h a n an g k h a m p h a van d'e, kh a nan g th au cam va kh a nang
dtfPng dau vcfi van d'e m a hp m u on giu p dd v.v...
V i sin h vien k h d n g p h ai la n gu di cd van d'e ta m li can stf giup
dd cu a giao vien g ia m sat, nen tron g cac b u o i lam vi$c vd i sinh
vien (thu’c ch at la g ia m sat sinh vien thu’c tap), ch u n g tdi kh d n g
quan tam den vi§ c sin h vien cam th a y th e nao ve cac va n d'e tam li
cua m inh. C h u n g tdi chi tap tru n g ndi ve van d'e cua ddi tu p n g, ve
cach su y nghi, h a n h xtf cua sin h vien vd i doi tu p n g cu a hp. Cd the
dua ra m pt va i cau hdi m a ch u n g tdi th u d n g hdi sau kh i n gh e sinh
vien trin h b a y ca th a m van:
- Ban cam th a y th e n ao kh i hdi anh, chj ta n h u vay?
- T ro n g tr u d n g h p p nay, li?u ta cd the cd cach ndi kh ac?
- N eu b an d u p c la m lai, b an se b at d'au n h u th e nao?
- X et ve m tfc dp h ai lon g, b an se cho m in h b ao n h ieu diem
tron g ca nay?
- V a y nhtfng d iem ch u a hai lon g la gi ? v.v... va v.v...
T ro n g tr u d n g h p p sin h vien hdi ch u n g tdi v'e nhtfng kin h
ngh iem ca n h an , ch u n g tdi th u d n g ndi: "V e vi£c nay, cd th e m pt
so n g u d i hp la m th e n ay...., n h u n g m pt so k h a c hp da th a n h con g
khi lam th e k ia ..... D a y la nhtfng cach h a n h d png p h u h p p vd i hp.
Cdn ch u n g ta se h a n h d png th eo cach cua m in h , chi cac em m d i
b iet phU Png an n ao la to t nhat cho m inh". N htfn g cach trd ch u yen
va hdi n h u v a y da gia n tiep n an g cao cac k i n an g lam vi£c cu a sinh
vien v d i ddi tu p n g m a sinh vien d an g giu p dd. V e p h ia sin h vien ,
cac em cu n g th a y "th ich th u " vd i cach lam vi£c nay.
T ru d c k h i k e t th u c d p t thtfc tap, tat ca sinh vien p h ai gtfi b an
th u h o a ch cd n h a n xet, d an h gia cua m in h (kh d n g phai la b ao cao
thtfc ta p ) ch o cP sd thtfc tap. C ac cp sd thtfc tap cu n g gtfi cac nhan
xet v e tim g sin h v ie n vd i nhtfng d iem tfu va h an che cu a hp cho
giao vien va ch o sin h vien th am khao. Sau do giao v ie n g iam sat
thtfc tap , ngtfdi h tfd n g dan thtfc tap d cP sd v a sin h vien cd b u o i
d an h gia, th ao lu a n q u a trin h thtfc tap va q u an trp n g h p n la nghe
trtfc tiep sin h v ie n p h a n hoi ve dpt thtfc tap (n h u d C IH P ), hoac
392 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m li

sinh vien th a o lu a n cu n g ch u yen vien cf ccf sd , sau do giao vien

g iam sat v a ch u y e n v ie n cf ccf scf th ao lu a n vcfi n h au (n h ir a Phong
T tf va n T a m li H oa Site).
B an b a o cao th tfc tap cu a sinh v ie n dtfgfc v ie t dtfa tren nhim g
gi sin h v ie n da th u n h an dtfgfc tu" v i? c va n d y n g li lu a n vao thtfc
tien , tif v ie c h o c th tfc h a n h nhtfng k i n an g th a m va n va ttf vi£c
trin h b a y v a ttf d an h gia cac ca th a m va n c y th e m a sin h vien da
thtfc hi<?n, m a k h o n g can trin h b a y cac n g h ien ctfu li lu an . Vi vay
b ao cao ch o p h e p giao vien ltfgfng h o a dtfgfc m tfc do lao d on g va
hi£u q u a th tfc ta p cu a sin h vien.
G ia m sat thtfc h a n h k h o n g chi dtfOc coi n h tf m ot hinh thtfc
dao tao n a n g cao ta y ngh'e cho nhtfng ngtfefi d a n g h o c de trd
th a n h n h a th a m van , m a no d an h cho tat ca n htfng ngtfefi dang
lam vi£c tro n g cac to chtfc djch v y th a m van . N h tf G iao stf
S h o sh a n a D. K e re w sk y (D ai h o c O regon , M y) tro n g b u o i lam vi£c
vcfi can b o K h o a T a m li h o c D H K H X H N V ) ch ia se la b a da dtfOc
g iam sat th a m v a n tro n g 10,5 n am , n htfng b a va n th a y con nhi'eu
d ieu chtfa b ie t, can p h a i h o c h oi th em .

Hi£n n a y co nhi'eu y
k ien ch o ra n g ca c d ich v y
th am va n h o a t d o n g m ot
cach tra n la n m a k h o n g
chu y d en vi£c “ can , do,
d on g, dem ” ch at ltfOng
cu a d ich v y . T h tfc te d H a
N oi, m o t so to chtfc h o a t
d o n g tre n lin h vtfc th a m
v a n da co g ia m sat ch u y en
m on ttf "b en n g o a i", nhtf
Phong ch at cu a C IH P ,
p h o n g th tfc h a n h trj li£u
cu a Vi£n T a m li h o c, C o n g
ty T h a m v a n S h a re, T ru n g
ta m T h a m v a n h o trqf T am
li - G iao d u e v a P h at trien
C o n g d on g, p h o n g th am
Chung tdi trao doi ve cdc van de trong
hai thir dd lam buoi dau tien, nhirng
kho khan khi thu’c hien trd l&i thir.
Ngir&i giam sat danh gid, nhan xet cu
the titng diem manh, diem yeu cua
titng thw vd nhitng dieu cdn thieu phai
bo sung. Trong buoi lam thit nay, cd
hai ben deu thang than vd c&i m& trao
doi moi van de, toi dd manh dan dita ra
nhitng y kien, nhan djnh cung nhw
nhitng thac mac ciia ban than. Vd nhw
vay, & nhwng buoi sau cam la thw tren
tay toi cam thay d& b& ng& hern rat
nhieu, toi da biet minh se phai lam gi
khi tien hanh trd l&i thw. Song, tdi van
cdn gap kho khan trong viec dinh hinh
bo' cuc thw trd l&i, khong biet nen dwa
van de gi ndi trW&c, van de gi ndi sau.

va n cu a trtfd n g P T T H D L (MKP, K49, thtfc tap tai CIHP. 200-)

C H lf O N G 7 : Q u y trinh th am van tam If 393

Dinh T ien H o a n g v.v... C ac ccf scf n a y co th e th u e ch u yen gia giam

sat tu” b en n goai, h oac dtfdc cac ch u yen gia g iam sat g iu p d d th eo
kieu "tu* th ien ". T hu ’c te cd rat it cO sd thtfc h ien h o a t d o n g giam
sat va h o a t d on g g ia m sat ch ua thu'c s y th u d n g xu yen va deu dan.
T u y n hien , viec cac cO sd d an g h u d n g td i s y ch u yen n gh iep h oa
trong co n g viec cu a m in h b an g s y kiem soat ch in h thtfc chat
lu*dng cua h o a t d o n g th am van "ttf ben n goai" b d i nhtfng n gu di
dtfdc goi la "ch u yen gia" cho th a y xu h u d n g cu a ca c n h a tam li h o c
V iet N am la d an g m u o n di den "the gid i cua n h a th a m van ch u yen
nghiep". D a y la tin h ieu cu a s y b ao ve ch an ch in h u y tin cu a n ghe
tr y g iu p tam li.
M ot so h in h thtfc giam sat th u d n g dUdc th y c h ien tai cac ccf
sd V iet N am la: 1/ G iam sat tr y c tiep tren ca. C h u ye n gia g iam sat
theo ddi tr y c tiep co n g viec cu a m ot n hom , k h i ai do gap k h o kh an
chuyen gia g iu p d d n gay. 2/ G iam sat gian tiep q u a d ien th oai
(try c tiep h o a c gian tiep ). V d i hin h thtfc th a m va n q u a m an g, n h u
chat, kh i cac n h an v ie n gap ca kh o ho co th e goi d ien ch o ch u yen
gia, th u d n g la cac b a c si v e stfc k h o e sin h san , v a h o n h a n h u d n g
dan giai dap n gay. 3/ C h u yen gia giam sat cd th e lam v ie c rien g
vdi ttfng th a m v a n v ien , h o a c ca n h om sau ca th a m va n cu a ho.
Bang cac ki n a n g g ia m sat, cac ch u yen gia cd th e n a n g cao d u o c
kien thtfc, ki n a n g ch o cac n ha th am van tre h o a c cho sin h vien
thtfc tap cu oi kh oa.

T r a c n g h ie m : Su" h ie u b ie t c u a b a n v e g ia m s a t th a m v a n
(K hoanh trdn vao cau tWPng ting)

1. D S Tat cd tham van vien phai dwpc ho tro' giam sat ca.
2. D S Giam sat tham van giong v&i tham van
3- D S Cung cap giam sat tham van la cung cap nhting lcfi ich
trWc tiep cho tham van vien vd lpi ich gian tiep cho
khach hang.
4. D S Giam sat tham van khdng cdn cdc ky nang.
5 •£> S Giam sa t tham van khong cdn ke hoach vd sit chuan
bj trit&c.
6. D S Giam sat tham van phai la mot chuyen gia co vi tri cao
hpn ngw&i quan ly giam sat.
394 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m li

7. D S Cd giam sat vien va quan ly giam sat ph ai tham gia

tich citc trong cong viec giam sat.
8. D S Giam sat tham van co lien quan den cong viec hanh chinh.
9. D S Co nhieu phifcfng phap sit dung trong giam sat tham van.
10 . D S Giam sat tham van dong vai trd quan trong trong vi$c
giam thieu hanh vi tit phat ciia nhd tham van.

C AU HOI ON TA P CHlATNG 7

C au 1: Phan tich m o hinh tham van tiep can tu" goc do than chu
va m o hinh tham van tiep can tir goc do nha tham van.
Cau 2: H ay phuc trinh ban ho so danh gia b an dau van d'e cua
than chu.
Cau 3: Phan tich s y b ie n doi tam li cua than chu trong qua trinh
th am van/trj li?u.
Cau 4: T rin h b a y cong tac giam sat trong h oat d on g th am van.
 CHUtTNG 8

LUYEN THUC HANH THAM VAN TAM Li

Cdc nhan vien & phdng tham van da giup toi nhan ra mot so
han che cua minh khi thu'c hanh lam viec v&i than chu, nhir
giong noi cua toi chua thu’c sit tit tin. Dieu nay se lam cho
than chu kho dat mem tin vao toi. M ot han che khac ma tdi
mac phai la cdn ctf&i mot cach khdng y thu’c trong khi lap ho
stf tam li cho cdc than chu la hoc sinh. Dieu nay cd the lam cho
than chu cam thay khdng thoai mdi neu trong long ho dang cd
chuyen buon vd lam giam tinh nghiem tuc khi tham van. Cdn
rat nhieu dieu khac nita md chi thong qua thitc hanh tdi m&i
nhan biet d u a c ban than minh vd cam nhan nghe tham van
ddi hdi sit thanh thao ve ki nang vd thdi do n h u the nao.
(HTH, K49, sinh vien thtfc tap tai Phong Tham van Hoa Stfa)

ChtfOng nay cung cap cho sinh vien nhtfng tinh h u on g va bai
tap thtfc hanh ttfOng tfng vdi phan li thuyet cua cac chtfOng trtfcrc.
Nhtfng bai tap nay dtfdc rut ra ttf hoat dQng tham van thtfc te cua
chung tdi va stf tham khao nhtfng kinh nghiem cua cac nha tham
van tren the gidi. Tren c0 sd thao luan, phan tich tinh huong, sam
vai hoac ttf luyen, sinh vien se dtfdc tang ctfdng va bd sung nhtfng
kien thtfc thtfc hanh nham hi?n thtfc hoa va chuyen sau hoa kha
nang tham van cua hQ.

i. h i n h A n h b A n t h A n v o i t i / c A c h l A m q t c A
n h A n v A l A M 0T n h A t h a m v a n

1. H inh anh ban than Tdi la ai ?

Dien vao cac cau hdi dtfdi day nhtfng quan ni?m , thai dQ, cam
xuc cua ban than, sau dd chia se vdi ngtfdi khac de nhan biet rd
h o n ve m inh.
396 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m If

Toi la ai?

Nh&ng <Ji£u tdi

thich v& ban
-t th a n tOi Id .
‘ .i

Tdi thirdng thAy

xi u h i khi

Nh&ng dieu t6i chira hai

Idng v4 ban than tdi Id
Nh&ng ngudi xung
quanh
cho rjing tdi Id ngirdi

Tdi thirdng
du’Q’c khen ve

N g u d i khdc
lam tdi khdm
T di th u d n g p huc nhat khi
cam thay
vu i k h i.......
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thu’c hanh th am van tam If 397

2. N han biet hinh anh ban than qua ngu&i khdc

S au k h i sin h vien d(?c gid i thi£u tu n g v u n g se ty* d ien vao

"vung mcf" va "vu n g che giau " n h im g dieu ve b an than. Sau do
m ang den ld p ch ia se vd i mQt hai b an sinh vien k h a c tro n g ld p , de
cd th e n h an b ie t b an th a n m inh sau sac hem, ch in h x a c hem qua
"lang k in h cu a n g u d i kh ac". 6 "vu n g m u" b an se n h an dugfc
n h u n g p h an h oi cu a h(? ve b an . Cdn d "vu n g k h d n g b iet" b an cd
the ch ia se n h im g k h u c m Sc m a b an ch u a b iet cach xir tri th e nao,
biet dau ca c "n h a th a m va n " se giu p dugfc ch o b an . Bai tap n ay
(cdn goi la ctfa sd J o h a ri? ) can stf d u o n g dau, than^ h an cu a m di
ngudi k h i ndi v e b an th a n m inh. V i vay, n eu b an cam th a y ch ua
tin tu d n g ai do th i k h d n g n h at th iet p h ai ch ia se vd i h(?. H ay coi
day la mQt b ai tap vu i k h i n h an ra cai m a ta m u o n "tru n g d i?n" lai
kh dng h e p h u hgfp v d i "cai m a n g u d i k h a c ca m n h an " ve h in h anh
ban th an cu a ta.

Toi Toi biet ve toi Toi khong biet ve toi

Ngudi k h a c ^ \ . ^

N gtfd i
khac biet 2. Vung md 1. Vung mu
ve toi

N gtfd i khdc khdng 3. Vung che giau 4. Vung khong biet

biet ve toi Vung can tham van

1. V u n g m u: la v u n g m a ca n h an k h d n g b ie t ve m in h n h u n g
n g u d i k h a c lai n a m b ie t ve ca n h an do. V i d y mQt sd b ieu hi?n
tro n g g ia o tiep p h i n gon ngtf m a ca n h a n k h d n g y th tfc dUdc
n h u n g n g u d i k h a c la i n han ra duqrc, nhtfng cau chuv£n lien quan
d en b a n th a n d oi k h i cac ca nhan k h d n g b ie t n h u n g n g u d i k h a c lai
b ie t rd v e hQ ...

2. V u n g m d : la v u n g m a cac ca n h an b ie t v e b a n th a n m in h va
n gitd i k h a c cu n g b ie t v e ca nhan do. V i du g id i tin h , cac b ie u hi£n
b e n n g o a i, mQt sd xu h u d n g tfng xtf q uen thuQC cu a ca n h an .
398 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

3. V un g ch e g iau : N htfng dieu ca n h an b ie t v e m in h nhtfng

ngtfdi k h a c la i k h o n g b iet. V i d y nhtfng d$c d iem rie n g m a ca
n h an k h o n g m u o n ch ia se cho ngtfdi k h a c, k h d n g m u o n ch o ngtfdi
k h a c b iet, h o a c sd bj h ieu n ham , bi d an h gia.
4. V un g k h d n g biet: N htfn g d §c d iem m a ca n h an kh d n g biet
rd ve b an th a n m in h , ngtfdi k h a c cu n g k h d n g b iet. V i d y nhtf
trtfd c m p t v i§ c ca n h an k h d n g b iet phai lam n h tf th e nao nen den
tim stf trd g iu p . T h o n g qua q ua trin h ch ia se, ngtfdi tr d g iu p hieu
b iet v e th a n ch u v a v d i stf ch ia se cu a ngtfdi trgf g iu p , cac ca nhan
h ieu b ie t hofn v e m in h.
3. N ha tham van la ai?

De trd th an h mQt nha tham van, m di ngtfdi, trtfdc tien can phai
hieu chinh m in h ve tin h cach, xu htfdng, gia trj... vd i ttf cach la mpt
ca nhan va vd i ttf cach la m pt nha tham van. N htfng cau hdi sau day
se giu p nha th am van hieu hem ve ban than m in h vd i ttf cach la mpt
ca n h an 1.
1. T d i d an h gia n h tf th e nao ve q u a trin h p h a t trie n cho tdi
th d i d iem n a y cu a cuqc ddi m in h ?
2. Khi n ao tdi b at dau nhan ra m in h la mQt ngtfdi trtfdng
th a n h ? T di da k iem soat stf trtfd ng th a n h cu a m in h n h tf th e nao?
3. N a m p h a m ch at tot n h at cua tdi la gi? N a m d iem m a tdi
can cai th i? n v d i ttf cach la n ha th am va n ?

4. T d i se tra ld i n htf th e nao neu ai do hdi tdi v e trie t li sdng

cu a tdi?
5. C dc n tfdc ciia tdi ntfa d ay h a y ntfa vofi? T ai sao?

6. T d i th tfd n g cd tam tran g n htf th e n ao tr o n g h a u h et cac

th d i gia n tro n g n gay?

7. Tdi q u a n n i?m n htf th e n ao ve con n gtfdi ndi ch u n g ?

8. T o n giao, v a n h oa, gia trj dan tpc, gid i v a k h u y n h htfd n g

tin h d y e d o n g va i trd n h tf th e nao tro n g q u an d iem so n g cu a tdi?

1 D an th e o T o T h i H a n h , B ien d ich tir T he C ounselor In te r n ’s H andbook. B ro o k s C ole,

2 0 0 4 , T u v a n ta m ly .c o m .v n , 0 4 /0 7 / 2 0 0 7 (n g u y e n goc co 3 0 cau , c h u n g to i c h in h su a . th e m
bcrt c h o p h u hgfp vcfi n gutri h o c).
CHLTONG 8: Luyen thi/c hanh th a m van tam If 399

9. Toi co phan tfng nhu1the nao vofi nhim g ngtfofi kh ac bi<?t vcfi toi?

10. T o i da n u oi dtfcfng stf san g tao cua m in h n h tf th e nao?

11. M y c tieu cu a cuqc ddi toi la gi?

12. T oi d o i m a t n h t f t h e n a o vofi c a c t h a c h t h u ’c v a s a n g c h a n
tro n g cuqc so n g?

13. T oi la ngtfofi co k h u yn h htfcfng h o ai co, hi<?n thtfc h ay

htfofng ve ttfcfng lai?

14. T o i nam of d au tro n g tr y c tir stf hgfp ta c tofi stf dau tran h ?

15. A i va di'eu gi da co anh htfcmg tro n g cuqc dofi cu a toi?

16. Ngtfefi b an to t n h at cu a toi noi gi ve to i?

17. Lcfi p he b in h n a n g ne n h at m a mQi ngtfofi noi v e to i la gi?

18. T o i co cofi mof v e nhu cau tiem n a n g cu a b a n th a n vofi

th am van k h o n g ? V i sao?

19. T o i da can b a n g b an th an m in h n htf th e n ao? T o i lam gi

vcri nhifrig m oi q u an ta m cu a toi?

20. T o i co p h y thuQ C v a o trtfc g ia c cu a m in h k h o n g ? T a i sao

co, ta i sao k h o n g ? T o i p h y thuQ C v a o n o n h t f t h e nao?

21. T o i co d a n h thcfi gian cho vi£c vu i c h a i k h o n g ? T o i da vu i

chofi nhtf th e n ao?

22. Nhtfng niem tin tam linh cua toi la gi? N o tac dQng tofi toi
nhtf the nao vofi ttf cach la mQt ca nhan?

23. T o i co nhtfng bieu ttfQng ca nhan cho vi£c trof thanh mQt
nha tham van gioi khong? C y the chung la gi?

24. T o i da can b a n g nhu cau cua m in h v a n h u cau cu a ngtfofi

k h a c n h tf th e n ao ?

4. K h a o s a t ve thd i do vd m em tin cua nhd th a m van

Ban ttf kiem nghiem nay dtfQc thiet ke nham m y c dich lam
sang to nhtfng suy nghi ciia ban doi vofi nhtfng van d'e co lien quan
den li thuyet ve tham van. Ban co the Itfa chQn nhieu hofn mQt y
tra lcfi trong moi cau. Dong ke cuoi cimg de cho bat ki cau tra lcfi
400 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

nao m a b a n m u o n tra ld i (do nhtfng phtfcrng an co s i n k h o n g phu

h o p vcri s u y n g h i cu a b a n ) 1.
1. Di'eu n ao sau d a y b an ch o la q u an trQng n h at, q u y e t d jn h den
k et q u a th a m va n ?

• C a c k i n a n g v a cac k i x a o cu a n h a th a m van .
• D jn h h tfd n g trj li<?u c y th e cua n h a th a m van .
• K ieu n h a n ca ch cu a n h a th a m van.

• K in h n g h ie m so n g cu a n ha th a m van .
•

2. V a n d'e n ao dtfdi d a y k h ie n b an cd stf b o n ch o n , lo la n g kh i ban

n g h i d en vi$c b a t d au la m vi§ c n h tf mQt n h a th a m va n ?

• T oi se chtfa co du tri thtfc h ay nhtfng k i nan g de lam vi£c co

hi$u qua.
• T o i se m a c lo i cd th e g a y ta c h ai ch o th a n chii.
• C a c th a n ch ii se ddi h o i q u a n h ieu v a o tdi v a tdi se kh on g
th e th o a m an cac n h u cau do.

• T oi se nhan ra la toi chtfa bao gid phu hQp vd i cong vi£c tham
van.
•

3. K hi n ao b a n n g h i ra n g bQC b a ch v e b a n th a n m in h ch o cac than

ch ii la q u a n trQng?

• K hi hQ d oi h o i di'eu do h o a c k h i to i cam n h a n r i n g d ay la
di'eu m a hQ can.

• B at ki k h i nao m a to i co nhtfng cam x u c can b<?c b a c h cho

th a n ch ii b iet.

• K hi tdi m u o n ch o th a n chii h ieu m inh.

• K hi cuqc th a m va n d tro n g tra n g th ai tin h la n g .
• ....................................

1 Geraid Corev - T h e o r y a n d p r a c tic e o f C o u n se lin g a n d P s y c h o th e r a p y - Books Cole

publishing Company pacific Grove, California, 1992, bien dich l^i cho phu hop voi hoan

canh tham van a Vi£t Nam.

CHUONG 8: Luyen thiic hanh tham van tam If | 401

4. Noi lo sQ ldn nhat cua ban la gi khi ban bpc bach vofi cac than chu cua
m inh?

• N htfn g gi m a to i noi se k h o n g phu h a p vcfi th a n chu.

• T h a n ch u cu a to i se m at di lo n g kin h trQng doi vcfi to i vi
n h u tig gi to i n oi v d i hQ.
• T o i se m at di vi tri cu a to i vd i tir cach la mQt n h a ch u yen
m on.
• T d i se sa la y v a o n h u tig x u c cam rien g tir cu a m in h den noi
se la m th a n ch u k h d n g b<?c b ach dtfdc.
•

5. Q u an d iem v e stf tru n g thtfc cu a tdi vd i th a n ch u la:

• T di tin ran g p h ai h o a n toan n g a y th a n g v a lu dn cd i m d vd i

hQ b at ke n htfng an ttfdng m a to i cd v e hQ.

• T di tin ran g tdi n en can n h ac mQt cach ca n th a n nhtfng gi

tdi ndi de tra n h d o v d m oi q u an h e cu a ch u n g tdi.
• T o i ch o ran g, k h i toi k h o n g cd k h a n a n g th a m v a n ch o m pt
th a n ch u c y th e nao do, tdi se ndi ra ch o n gtfdi d o b iet.
• N eu tdi m o n g d d i h o tru n g thtfc v d i tdi, to t hofn la tdi nen
tru n g th tfc v d i h q .
•

6. Ban n g h i v a g ia i q u y et nhtf th e nao trtfd c stf im la n g cu a th an

chu tro n g ca c la n th a m van ?

• T o i se h tfd n g td i vi£c n ghi ran g to i da la m d ieu gi dd sai.

• T o i se hdi th a n chu cac cau h oi de la m ch o hQ h o a t dQng
tr d lai-
• T o i se th a o lu a n v d i th an chu ve n htfng cam g ia c cu a m in h
doi v d i stf im la n g cua hQ.

• T d i se k h d n g th a m gia va dQi th an chu b a t d au.

7. Q u an d iem cu a b an ve vi£c dtfa ra ldi k h u yen tro n g th a m va n la

n h tf th e n ao ?
402 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

• T o i ch o ra n g q u a trin h th am va n la q u a trin h h tfd n g dan

cac th a n ch u, vi v£y toi se ttf do dtfa ra ld i k h u y e n , neu toi
th a y ra n g th a n chu m u on di'eu nay.
• Toi se it cho loi khuyen, tham chi la ldi kh u yen do hay, vi no se
lam cho than chu co khuynh htfdng p h y thuQC vao tdi.

• N eu to i k h o n g cho ld i k h u yen , tdi se k h d n g ca m th a y nhu"

la tdi d a n g g iu p d d th an chu.

• T d i n g h i ra n g toi co k h u yn h h tfd n g dtfa ld i k h u y e n cho cac

th a n ch u, k h i tdi d ac bi<?t th ich th u vd i cai h tfd n g m a toi hy
vQng la hQ se th ich.
•

8. Q u an d iem cu a b an nhtf th e nao ve vi£c su* d y n g tin h hai htfdc

tro n g th a m va n ?

• B at ctf k h i nao co th e, to i se xen tin h h ai h tfd c vao, vi toi

ch o ra n g tie n g ctfdi la mQt ti'em n a n g ld n tro n g th a m van.

• T d i n g h i la toi se d u n g tin h h ai h tfd c va o b a t ctf k h i n ao toi

cam th a y co stf k h o n g th o a i m ai tro n g k h i th a m van .

• T o i se tra n h k h d n g stf d u n g tin h h ai htfdc, vi tdi n g h i rang

no co th e de d an g lam xao la n g th a n ch u tro n g kh i giai
. q u y e t c a c v a n d'e n g h ie m trQ n g c u a t h a m v a n .

• T o i se d u n g tin h h ai h tfd c k h i cd stf ca n g th a n g tro n g tham

v a n de g ia m b d t tin h n g h iem trQng cu a cac v a n d'e do, sao
cho k h o n g ai tro n g ch u n g toi se b j ch an nan.
•

9. V d i t tf c a c h la m Q t n h a t h a m v a n , t o i m o n g r a n g n h t f n g g ia trj
cu a to i se cd an h h tfd n g td i q u a trin h th a m van:

• Khi m a toi co nhtfng gia tri bat dong m anh m e doi vd i than chii.

• C hi tro n g cac tin h h u o n g m a toi th tf g a y anh h tfd n g tdi

th a n ch u th eo cach n gh i cua toi.

• V ao b at ki lu c nao, vi toi kh on g the tach rdi cac gia tri cua toi
ra kh oi con g vi^c cua m inh vd i ttf cach la mQt nha th am van.
CHUONG 8: Luyen thiic hanh tham van tam If 403

• K hi to i co n h u n g p h an t a g m an h tofi mQt so h a n h vi c y th e
h a y n h im g gia tri c y th e cua th an chu.
•

10. DQng ccf tot nhat the hien li do tai sao toi m uon tham gia vao
cong viec trQ giup nay la:

• L on g sa y m e cu a toi d oi v d i viec hirdng d an ngtfdi kh ac.

• L on g m o n g m u o n u o n nan ngtfdi kh ac.

• M o n g m u o n k h a n g dinh gia trj cu a m in h n htf mQt nhan

cach.

• T di can ngtfdi ta can den toi va can ca m th a y ran g toi dang

g iu p d d n htfn g ngtfdi kh ac.

n . N eu tdi co n h tfn g ca m x u c m an h (tich ctfc h a y tie u ctfc) d oi

vd i mQt th a n ch u , tdi se:

• T h a o lu a n v e nhtfng cam x u c cu a tdi v d i th a n chu.

• Gitf chung cho ban than minh va hy VQng rang chung se dan
mat di.
• B qc Iq nhtfng cam xuc cua m inh vd i mQt dong nghiep tin
ttfdng nhat.
• C h ap n h a n nhtfn g cam x u c cu a m in h n h tf mQt ta t ye u (trtf
p h i ch u n g bat d au can trd m oi q u an h e tro n g th a m va n ).
•

12. N eu mQt th a n ch u th e h ien nhtfng cam x u c m a n h ve stf h ap

d an (h a y stf th u gh et) doi vd i toi, toi se:

• L am v ie c v d i th a n chu ve nhtfng cam x u c n a y v a h ieu

ch u n g.

• T h ich n h tfn g ca m x u c ay neu ch u n g la tich ctfc.

• G id i thieu than chu cua minh tdi mQt nha tham van khac.

• C h u y e n h tfd n g san g nhtfng chu de it g a y x u c cam h o n .

404 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

5 . N h u n g Uu d ie m v a n h u p c d ie m c u a b a n th a n k h i la
m q t n h a th a m v a n

G h i ca c tfu v a nhtfgfc cu a b an th a n , sau d o ch ia se vcfi cac

th a n h v ie n k h a c tro n g ld p de nh$n dtfqfc ca c y k ie n p h a n hoi)

6. Cau hdi kiem nghiem thdi dip, gid tri cd nhan trong
tham van

T h a o lu a n nhirng cau h o i dtfdi d ay kh i b a n vtfa la m p t ca nhan

vtfa la m p t n h a th a m v a n ch u yen n g h ie p 1

1. Ba p h a m ch at n ao cu a b an m a b an n gh i se la n htfn g dieu
htfu d u n g k h i b a n la m p t n h a th a m va n ?

2. Ba d iem ye u k e m cu a b an m a b an can xem xet, vi no co the

can trd co n g v ie c cu a b a n v d i tir cach la m p t n h a tham
va n ?

3. M p t so th o n g tin ca n h an m a b an se h ai lo n g b d c lp ra cho
cac k h a ch h a n g cu a m in h neu hp h oi d en ?

1 Theo Corey, 1992, da thay doi mot so cau va tom ltfgfc cho phu hop vcri hoan canh tham van

0 Yi£t Nam.
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thi/c hanh th am van tam li 405

4. M p t so th o n g tin ca n h an m a b an k h o n g sSn lo n g b o c 10
ch o ca c k h a ch h an g cu a m inh?

r ■
> ^

5 . M o t vai m oi quan tam cu the cua ban hay noi so hai cua
ban khi ban tra thanh nha tham van ?

6. B an se cam thay the nao neu ban d u o c de nghi phai trai qua
qua trinh tham van/trj lieu trudc khi tro thanh nha tham
van ?

7 . K h i tham van , nhirng gia tri ca nhan nao m a ban nghi la ban
co the cho ldi kh u yen hay thuyet phuc than chu cua ban?

8. G ia djnh rang m ot khach hang m uon ban giu p dd nhung

ban cam thay kh on g thich n gudi do v a kh d n g m uon tham
van ch o ho, ban co the noi gi vd i ngirdi dd?

9 . B an cd the noi gi vd i cac than chu, n gu d i kh an g dinh rang

m inh dang tien bo len trong qua trinh tham van , trong khi
ban thay kh d n g cd m ot chut tien bo nao v a ban cam thay ho
dang tir lira ddi ban than?

10 . B an co the noi gi vd i khach hang, n gu d i ludn luon tin tu d ng

v a trong d a i v a o sir khuyen bao cua ban?

11 . G ia dinh rang m ot than chu luc nao cu ng go i dien cho ban d

nha de tranh luan ve nhung dieu con khuc m ac. ban cd th i
tra ldi nhu the nao?

12 . N hirng kinh n ghiem song nao ban coi la co anh h u d n e ldn

nhat tdi nang lire cua ban khi la m ot nha tham v£n?
406 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

13 . N hirng y e u to nao trong cu oc d ai ban v a trong nhan cach

cua ban co the gop phan lam gia tan g sir m et m oi ch o ban?

14 . M o t va i ca ch quan trong m a ban san sang su dung de ngan

chan su m et m oi cua m inh?

15 . B a n n g h i m inh co the lam gi de duy tri ban than v a i tu cach

la m ot ca nhan v a v a i tu cach la m ot nha ch u yen m on?

7 . Hay khoanh trdn vao cac cau dtC&i day (D, S h o q L C cd

hai) md b<pi tin la p h u hgp nhat. Tren m di y ban hay
du!a ra gidi thich cho m oi cau trd loi cua bqm1.

C h i d an : D = D u n g . S = Sai.
D 1. C ac n ha th am van, tri lieu nen chi lam viec vcfi
n h im g kh ach h an g m a hQ thtfc stf thich v a quan tam .
S
D 2. K hi th a m v a n cho ngtfefi k h a c, to i n en lu o n luon
co i do n h tf la v ie c tri lieu ch o b a n th a n m in h .
S

D 3- T o i d^t m y c tieu ch o cac k h a ch h a n g cu a toi trtfdc

k h i h ieu dtfQc hQ.
S

D 4- N h tfn g tieu ch u a n cu a to i dtfQc d at ra n goai qua

trin h trj lieu .
S

D 5- Bi m a t la mQt d ieu tu y et doi gitf, v a to i se k h o n g

b a o g id de Iq ra b a t ctf dieu gi m a mQt k h a ch h an g
S d a tie t Iq tro n g su o t q u a trin h tri lieu , b at ch ap stf
y e u th e v e thtfc tra n g tai chinh.

1 Theo Corey, 1992, da thay doi m<?t so cau va tom luXfc l^i cho phu hcrp vai hoan canh tham

van Vi£t Nam.

CHl/ONG 8: Luyen thuc hanh tham van tam If 407

D 6. D e lam v ie c vd i kh a ch h an g d at h ieu q u a cao, nha

tri li?u tru d c h et p h ai n han thu'c dtfgfc nen va n h oa
S cO b an cu a m<?t ngtfdi nao do.

D 7- Tdi nen dinh khuon nhtfng hanh vi cd djnh m a tdi

m ong dgfi cac khach hang phai tap luyen de trd nen
S tot hon..

D 8. Stf ttf hoan thien va stf sang suot tri tu e cua nha
th am van cd the la nhtfng yeu to quan tron g nhat
S quyet dinh th an h bai trong th am van.

D 9. T d i can p h ai h oan to an cd i m d , tru n g thtfc va

m in h b a c h vd i cac kh a ch h a n g cu a m in h.
S

D io Tdi nen tran h luan vd i cac kh ach h an g ve nhtfng

x u n g dot cua ca nhan toi m ot cach ti m i vi cac van de
S cua kh a ch h ang co the dtfdc giai quyet tot h o n neu
h o b iet rang toi cung co nhtfng van de cua m inh.

D n H ieu dtfQc n gu o n go c v a n g u yen n h an g a y ra

n h tfn g rac rdi cua ch u n g ta la dieu can th ie t trtfdc
S k h i ch u n g ta co th e th a y doi.

D 12 La m o t n ha tri lieu co anh htfd n g, to i can p h a i cd

m o t th ai do quan tam tich ctfc m ot cach vd dieu
S k ie n v a ch ap nhan cac kh ach h a n g cua m in h .
408 | Giao trinh Tham van tam li

D 13 Kieu ngtfdi cua toi la quan trong hem stf dinh htfdng li
th uyet cua tdi v a vice sir d un g cac la th u at cua tdi.
S

D 14 H ieu b ie t n en ta n g va n h o a cu a ch in h b an than
m in h cu n g q u a n tro n g n h tf vi$c h ieu b ie t nen tang
S v a n h o a cu a k h a ch h an g .

D 15 Stf sau sa c ve tri tu ? la di'eu ki<?n can v a du de lam

th a y d oi d k h a ch hang.

D 16 K h i nhd ta tiep th u m ot so ch u a n m tfc, k h u o n m au

cu o c son g, n htfng dieu n a y cd ta c d o n g sau sSc den
S th a i do h i§ n n a y cu a ta.

D 17 N e u ta m o n g ch d cd stf th a y d oi tro n g n h an cach

cu a k h a ch h a n g th i stf th a y ddi n a y trtfd c tien phai
S n h a m v a o th a y d oi tin h xa h o i v a tin h ch in h tri cua
k h a c h h an g.

D 18 La m o t n ha th am van, con g vi$c cua toi cO b an giong

nhtf co n g vi?c cua m ot giao vien, vi toi dao tao va
S d ay lai kh ach h an g cac la nang.

D 19 La m ot n h a th am van, nhi?m v y ch in h cua toi la

htfd n g dan kh ach h a n g chap n han h i?n thtfc va hoat
S d on g tro n g xa hoi phai co trach nhiem .

D 20 V i stf dtfOng dau co the gay dau ddn h oac kho chiu
cho khach hang nen tdi cho rang thtfdng th i khong
S nen dung phtfOng thtfc nay.
C HL/ONG 8: Luyen thiic hanh tham van tam li' | 409

D 21 C ac nhu cau ccf b an cua toi thtfc stf kh on g quan

trong trong m oi quan hg tham van vd i kh ach hang.
S _________________________________________

D 22 C ac lan im lan g tron g m qt tien trin h th am van

th tfd n g dtfdc coi nhtf dau higu cua stf chan nan, vi
S v a y can th an trpn g tran h de cupc th am van chim
va o stf im lang.

D 23 Gpfi y v a th u yet p h u c la cac th a n h p h an cu a tien

trin h th a m van.
S _________________________________________

D 24 Q u an hg th am van p hai dtfgfc d ac trtfng b d i cung

m pt m u’c dp chia se cua ca k h ach h a n g va nha
S th a m van.

D 25 T oi phai than trpng tranh cac sai lam vi nd cd the

kh ien toi danh m at stf ton trpng cua kh ach hang.

D 26 T h a m van kh o n g can th iet p h ai la m oi q uan hg ca

n h an , v i h igu qua cua th am va n p h y th u p c vao cac
S k i n an g cua nha th am van.

D 27 M p t n h a th am van gioi la do th ien tin h chu1k h o n g

p h a i do dtfdc dao tao.
S _________________________________________

D 28 T h a m v a n co the gay anh htfd n g to t h o a c xau len

k h a ch h an g.
S _________________________________________

D 29 La m pt nha tham van, toi m uon m inh m em deo va

th ay ddi cac ki thuat, nhat la khi th am va n cho cac
S kh ach han g khac nhau ve van hoa.
4 10 | Giao trinh Tham van tam li

D 30 M p t ca n h an chtfa trai q u a sy* lo la n g v a d au kho

th i chira co s y th a y d oi h o a c h o a n th ie n n h a n cach.

D 31 La m pt nha th am van, toi lu on m uon kh ach quan va

b an th an m inh kh on g bj loi cuon b d i kh ach hang.

D 32 La m p t n h a th a m van , to i k h o n g dtfgfc p h an xet

h a n h vi cu a k h a ch h a n g vi th a m va n va p h an xet
S k h o n g th e ton tai son g song.

D 33 N eu toi cam th a y m in h co n h u n g tin h cam khac

th ird n g v d i k h a ch h a n g (n hir gi£n d u h o a c ham
S m u o n tin h d ye), di'eu do co n g h ia tdi da d an h m at
h ieu q u a, tiem n a n g de th a m va n , vi v a y tdi phai
ch am d ut m di q u an h e dd.

D 34 D p n g ch am va o n g u d i k h a ch h a n g la k h d n g dudc
p h ep , tro n g m pi h o a n canh.
S _________________________________________

D 35 T d i k h o n g ch ap n h an m pt k h a ch h a n g k h o n g co
ch u d ich (kh ach h a n g th y dpng, le th u p c).
S

8. H oa gidi nhitng xung dqt gid tri mang tinh dao du’c 1

B an la m v ie c tro n g m o t m oi tr u d n g lu o n phai tu o n g tac va

hpfp ta c cu n g n h au . Nhi'eu lan b an va cac d o n g n g h iep da trai qua
n h u n g x u n g dpt m a n g tin h gia tri. T a t ca n h im g di'eu n a y g a y ra
nhi'eu k h o k h a n ch o b a n de lam v ie c cu n g hp.

B an n g h i m in h co th e la m gi de h oa giai n h u n g x u n g dpt dudi

d a y .(H a y gh i a, b, h a y c va o nhirng cau d ud i day)

a = C hac chan toi kh on g the lam viec dUdc vd i kieu ngirdi nay.

1 Theo Corey, 1992, da thay doi mot so cau va tom Urt?c l?i cho phu hcfp vcri hoan canh tham
van a Vi£t N am .
CH lfO NG 8: Luyen thuc hanh tham van tam If 4 11

b = Toi biet chac la lam viec vdi kieu ngirdi nay that kho khan.
c = C hac chan toi se lam viec dtfQc vdi kieu ngtfdi nay.
1. K ieu ngtfdi lu dn co xu htfd n g chi ra nhtfQc d iem cu a ngtfdi
kh ac.
2. K ieu ngtfdi q u an n iem ran g sdng tren d di can p h ai b iet b o n
chen.
3. K ieu ngtfdi lu o n m a n g nhtfng cau ch u yen cu a kh a ch h a n g
ra la m trd ctfdi.
4. K ieu ngtfdi lu o n b ien m in h cho cac h a n h vi k h ie m k h u yet
cu a m inh.
5. K ieu ngtfdi th tfd n g k h o n g rd ran g ve va n d'e tien nong,
nhtfng lu d n k h o ch ju ve xir stf so n g p h a n g cu a d on g
n gh iep .
6. K ieu ngtfdi lu o n coi th tfdn g nhtfng ngtfdi q u a tin ttfd ng vao
ngtfdi kh ac.
7. K ieu ngtfdi cd ttf ttfd n g cho ran g ta t ca ca c va n de cu a anh
ta se g ia i q u y et to t n eu dtfQc th u trtfd n g q u an tam .

8. K ieu n gtfdi lu o n co th ai do ch o n g d oi la i nhtfng y k ien cua

ngtfdi kh ac.
9. K ieu n gtfdi cd h e th o n g gia trj ccf b a n no ltfc sir d y n g ngtfdi
k h a c de d a n h lQi ch o rien g m inh.

10. K ieu ngtfdi son g vd i niem tin rang n ghe nghiep la niQt stf
canh tranh. V i v a y can phai de p hong de kh o n g bj th u a thiet.

11. K ieu n gtfdi lu o n tin ran g cach thirc h a n h d o n g cu a m in h la

d u n g v a lu d n m u o n ap dat n h im g gia trj cu a m in h cho
ngtfdi m a m in h tie p xuc.

12. K ieu n gtfdi ch o ran g h o p tac vd i ngtfdi k h a c la th o a t dtfQc

n h tfn g g a n h n a n g ve trach nhiem .

II. DAO D tfC N GH E NGHIEP

1. Thao luan trtf&ng hgp

T h a n ch u ciia b a n la mQt co gai tre, dep, chtfa co ngtfdi yeu.

Sau m o t th d i g ia n g iiip dd, b an cam th a y co ay rat h a p d an va
4 12 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

d an g yeu . B an b ie t co a y cu n g d an g ch d dpri b a n n oi lcfi yeu

th iron g vcfi co ay. B an d an g p h an van co n en y e u co a y k h o n g ?

a. H a y p h a n tich nhirng n g u y cO tiem an co th e x a y ra neu

n h a th a m v a n v a th a n ch u yeu nhau.

b. Ban co the dira ra nhtfng cach thirc nao de ngan chan hien
tUQng tinh d ye tham nhap vao m oi quan he khach han g va nha
tham van?

2. Phan tich nhitng thdi d$ cua thu tnt&ng khi trd

chuyen v&i cac nhan vien tham van

- T in h h u o n g 1: C ac anh chi n en n h d ra n g "cau gid " la trach

nhi^m q u a n trp n g cu a cac an h ch i v a la sy so n g co n cu a trung
tam . T o i k h o n g can b ie t ca c an h ch i h p c nhu1th e n ao 0 dai hpc, tot
n gh iep T a m li, V a n h a y Sir, chi can n h in v a o so p h u t cac anh chi
n oi ch u y en vcri k h a ch h a n g la to i b ie t dygfc n a n g lyc tu1 van ciia
cac an h chi.

- T in h h u o n g 2: C a c a n h ch i b ie t r a n g tr u n g ta m tu1v a n ciia
ch iin g ta to n ta i dirpfc h a y k h o n g la p h y th u p c v a o so lirgfng va
th d i g ia n k h a c h h a n g g p i d en n h d c h u n g ta g iu p d o . V i v a y , viec
ca c a n h ch i th a m v a n n h ir th e n a o de k h a c h h a n g ca m th a y hai
lo n g la tr a c h n h ie m cu a ta t ca m p i n gird i tr o n g c h u n g ta. T o i hi
v p n g ca c a n h ch i p h a t h u y to t n h tfn g k ie n th tfc v a k i n a n g d up c
h p c tr o n g tr u d n g de n g a y c a n g co nhi'eu k h a c h h a n g n h d den
ch u n g ta.

3. Cdc tinh huong ve quy dieu dao du’c trong m oi quan

he tham van

B 3 . K h i k h a c h h a n g d a Itfa ch p n v a sa n s a n g th a m gia vao

q u a n h e th a m v a n v d i m p t n h a th a m v a n n ao d o th i ca c nha
th a m v a n co n la i k h d n g dUdc p h e p can th ie p v a o m oi q u a n he
th a m v a n n a y n e u k h o n g dU dc stf ch ap th u a n ciia n h a th a m van
m a k h a c h h a n g d a ch p n . T ru d c k h i n h a th a m v a n bat d au tien
h a n h th a m v a n ch o k h a c h h a n g m a p h a t h ie n ra k h a c h h a n g ciia
m in h cu n g d a n g dUdc m p t n h a th a m va n k h a c g iu p d o th i nha
th a m v a n p h a i tim h ie u n htfng th o n g tin v'e n h a th a m v a n kia
h o a c p h a i n g tfn g n g a y m oi q u a n h e th a m v a n v d i k h a ch h a n g .
CHl/ONG 8: Luyen thuc hanh tham van tam If 4 13

By. V 6 i m y c d ich g iu p n h a th a m v a n thu'c h a n h n g h e h a y

n g h ien ctfu, v ie c su" d y n g n h im g du1 lie u tir q u a n h e th a m va n
thi nQi d u n g p h a i dtfQc g id i h a n , h in h th u ’c dtfQc cai tr a n g de
dam b a o c h a c ch a n ra n g k h a c h h a n g k h o n g b\ n h a n d a n g b d i
ngtfdi k h a c.

B 1 2 . K hi n h a th a m v a n co m oi q u a n h e k h a c v d i k h a ch
h an g - du la q u a n h e h a n h ch in h , tre n d tfdi th i n h a th a m van
van p h a i d am b a o tin h k h a c h q u a n d o i v d i stf Itfa ch o n th a m
van cu a k h a c h h a n g . N eu n h a th a m v a n k h o n g du k h a n a n g
th am v a n th i k h o n g dtfQc th tfc h ie n h a n h v i th a m v a n m a p h ai
gid i th ie u k h a c h h a n g d en n h a th a m v a n cd c h u y e n m o n phu
h d p v d i v a n d e cu a k h a c h h a n g . C hi tr o n g trtfd n g h d p k h a n cap
m a stf th a y th e b a n g n h a ch u y e n m on p h u hQp la k h o n g th e
thtfc h ie n dtfQc th i n h a th a m v a n m d i n e n th a m g ia q u a n he
th am v a n . Q u a n h e h a i ch ie u (b a n b e, hQ h a n g ...) v d i k h a ch
h an g cd th e la m a n h h tfd n g d en tin h k h a c h q u a n ciia n h a th a m
van k h i th tfc h ie n h a n h vi th a m va n . V i v a y n h a th a m v a n p h a i
tran h h o a c k e t th u c q u a n h e th a m va n n a y b a n g ca c h g id i th ie u
den n h a th a m v a n cd k h a n a n g p h u hQp.

4. Tham khao hop dong tham van cua H oa Ki

Ten nha tham v a n : .......................................................

Dfa chi ccf q u a n : ..........................................................
So dien thoai ccf q u a n : ................................................

HQP DONG THAM VAN

(Danh cho ngtfefi lam tham van va than chu)

Toi rat han hanh dtfQc chQn la ngirdi tham van cho quy khach.
Ban hQp dong nay dtfQc soan thao de cung cap cho quy khach nhtfng
thong tin ve ban than toi cung nhtf de quy khach hieu rd quan h?
nghe nghiep gitfa toi va quy khach khi tham van.
Toi dtfQc cong nhan la ngtfdi lam tham van d .....(Ten quoc gia).
Ngoai ra, toi con dtfQc ....(To chtfc, Hiep hpi tham van?) cong nhan.
414 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

Toi la ngirdi chuyen tham van cho ...(loai than chu?) la chu yeu.
BSng cap, hoc ham cua toi l a .... , bao ve t a i ......Toi da hanh nghe
tham van tir n a m ..... Toi chi dong y Id ket hop dong vcfi than chu nao
ma ho cam ket ty giai quyet van de cua ho vdi s y try giup cua toi. Toi
kM ng djnh rin g than chu nao ma dam chap nhan, nhin nhan ho thi hQ
cang co kha nang tim lai diryc hanh phuc va s y thoa man ddi vdi cu qc

song. Tuy nhien de dat duyc m yc tieu nay, doi khi phai mat mot thdi
gian dai mdi co the dat diryc. Co than chu chi can mot vai buoi tham
van da dat diryc muc tieu nay, nhung cung co than chu can nhfeu thang,
tham chi nhfeu nam mdi co the dat diryc. Khi than chu hoan toan kiem
soat duyc ban than thi day cung la thdi diem de ket thuc nhung quan he
tham van. Va day cung la thdi diem de ket thuc hyp dong tham van.
Tham van thanh cong nghia la than chu cam thay rin g ho co the dirong
dau, doi mat diryc vdi nhimg thu thach trong cuoc song sau nay ma
khong can s y can thiep cua nha tham van.
M ac du trong cac buoi tham van co mdi quan he rat gan gui giira
than chu va nha tham van. Nhimg ban can phai biet ro dd la moi
quan he nghe nghiep chtf khdng phai la moi quan he ca nhan. Chung
ta chi lien lac tiep xuc vdi nhau d cac buoi tham kham ma ban da tra
chi phi. Xin ban dung tang tdi qua hay mdi tdi tdi nhirng noi dong
ngudi tu tap (nhu tiec timg...) hoac yeu cau tdi quan he vdi ban vtfyt
ra khdi quan he nghe nghiep. Ban se duyc quan tam chu dao neu
quan he cua chim g ta tuyet doi chi la quan he nghe nghiep va trong
nhung buoi tham van chung ta chi tap trung duy nhat vao nhirng moi
quan tam cua ban. Ban se duyc tdi gyi y cho nhirng ki nang de t y giai
quyet nhirng van d'e ban gap phai trong suot qua trinh tham van. Tuy
nhien, di'eu quan trong ban phai nhd rang nhung ki nang nay chi
mang tinh chu quan nghe nghiep ciia tdi.
Tdi cam ket giu bi mat tuyet doi bat cir dieu gi ma ban ndi cho tdi
biet, trir nhung trudng hyp sau thi tdi duyc phep khdng can giu bi mat:

1. Ban cho phep tdi ndi cho ngudi khac biet.

2. Tdi phai quyet dinh ndi ra, neu khdng se nguy hiem den ban
hoac den nhung ngudi khac.

3. Tdi bi goi ra toa de tra ldi chat van.

Vao bat cur thdi diem nao hay do bat ctf nguyen nhan nao ma
ban khdng hai long vdi viec tham van ciia tdi thi xin hay cho tdi duyc
C H lfO N G 8: Luyen thuc hanh tham van tam li 4 15

biet. Neu toi khong co kha nang giai quyet duyc nhirng van de ma
ban quan tam, ban hay thong bao s y khong hai long cua ban den hgi
dong quan trj trung tam tham van cua toi. Try sd dat t a i .... , So di?n
th o a i......

Toi dong y tham van cho ban vdi chi phi cho mdi buoi tham van la
.... (sd tien). Mdi buoi tham van keo dai k h o a n g .....(phut). Chi phi cho
moi buoi tham van can duyc thanh toan ngay va du'Q 'c tra sau khi ket thuc
buoi tham van. Ban cd the thanh toan bang tien mat hay sec ca nhan. Ban
se nh^n duQc bien lai chi phi cho tung buoi tham van. Mat khac, ban
khdng duyc nQ chi phi qua 24 tieng ke tu" khi tdi thong bao. Neu ban
khdng thyc hi?n dieu nay, ban phai chiu hoan toan trach nhiem.

Ban yen tam la nhirng ki nang tham van tot nhat cua tdi se dtfQc
dng dyng tham van cho ban va hoan toan phu hQp vdi cac tieu chuan
dao du'c nghe nghiep. Nhtfng xin ban nhd rang dieu nay cung cd the
khdng dam bao dat dtfQc m yc tieu nhtf ban mong muon. Tuy nhien,
chung ta se cung lam vigc vdi nhau de dat dtfQc ket qua tot nhat cho
ban. Neu ban muon tra tien chi phi bang tien cua cong ty bao hiem y
te thi tdi cung hoan toan dong y, nhtfng van phai dam bao chi phi
phai tra sau mdi buoi tham van.
Mgt vai cong ty bao hiem se tra tien chi phi cho trung tam tham
van nhtfng cung cd cong ty khdng tra. Vi vay, ban can tra cho trung
tam tham van trtfdc mgt khoan tien quy dinh va chi mgt phan nhd
chi phi la tien bao hiem tra. Va ban la ngtfdi di lien h? vdi cong ty bao
hiem ve van de nay.
Mat khac, cac cong ty bao hiem y te thtfdng yeu cau phai ngp ban
chain doan b?nh trtfdc khi hg dong y tra tien bao hiem, nen tdi se co
gang chan doan cho ban trtfdc khi d? trinh nd cho cong ty bao hiem.
Neu ban cdn thac mac dieu gi, mdi ban cd hdi chung tdi. Xin
mdi ban ki va ghi ngay, thang, nam vao ban hgp dong nav.

Ten va chtfky
Nha tham van Than chu

N gay ...... thang ........ nam .......

Nguon: Theodore P. Remley, Jr. ofM ississppi State University.

4 16 Giao trinh Tham van tam If

III. KI NANG THAM VAN

A. Ki nang lang nghe

l. Ban lang nghe nhu:the nao?

H ay tra ldi m pt so cau hoi dudi d ay ve cach b^n th u d n g nghe

ngirdi k h a c noi. D ay kh o n g phai la cau hdi thi h a y cau hdi ve vi?c
ban nghe g ian g b ai nhu" the nao. Do v£y b?in h a y n gh i tdi cach b?in
van thirdng n gh e ngirdi kh ac ndi d ngoai ld p hpc, ngoai tn rd n g hpc.
Ban chi can kh o an h tron vao o tircfng ung vd i m oi cau hdi dirdi day.
Luon Thu’ofng Thinh flat it
Npi dung
luon xuyen thoang khi
l. MQi ngirdi can phai nhac lai
1 2 3 4
thong tin cho tdi
2. Tdi chd hQ ndi xong y cua hQ
mdi ndi cho h<? nghe y kien cua 4 3 2 1
minh
3. Mpi ngirdi ndi vdi tdi la tdi la
4 3 2 1
ngirdi biet nghe chuyen
4. Tdi thay kho nghe mQt ngirdi nao
1 2 3 4
do ma tdi bat dong y kien vdi h(?
5. Tdi thay khdng cd van de gi khi
tap trung lang nghe ngirdi khac 4 3 2 1
ndi chuyen
6. Tdi gia vd lang nghe nhung
1 2 3 4
khdng chu y tdi hp ndi gi
7. Moi khi cd ai dd ndi chuyen vdi
tdi, tdi bd cong vi£c dang lam de 4 3 2 1
tap trung chu y tdi hQ
8. Khi cd dieu gi do quan trQng
ngirdi ta khdng ndi vdi tdi ma 1 2 3 4
viet vao giay dira cho tdi xem
9.Khi nghe ngirdi khac ndi chuyen
tdi de bi dang tri vi cd tieng nhac 1 2 3 4
hay nhin thay ai dd. •
10. Tdi thirdng la ngirdi ndi nhieu
1 2 3 4
trong cuqc ndi chuyen
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thuc hanh th a m van tam If 4 17

C ac cau tra ld i n a y cho b iet b$n la ngirdi n gh e to t h a y kh on g.

Sinh vien cu n g th ao lu$n tim g cau hoi va tin h d iem cu a b an than
de b iet m in h thuQC lo^i n gh e tot (tu* 30 diem trd len ), n gh e tru n g
binh (tu* 20 d en 29) v a n ghe yeu (tu110 den 19).

2. B d i tgp kiem n g h iem kha nang lang n ghe cua ban

T ra ldi cau h oi sau, tinh diem va nhgn xet. T ro n g m oi p hu on g

an cua cau - a, b ho£c c, chQn mQt p h u on g an d un g vd i m inh nhat.

1. K hi cd ai do k e ve mQt v ie c hQ da lam , ban co de dang danh

gia h a n h dQng cu a hQ la xau h a y tot k h on g?

a. K h on g, to i k h o n g de d an g d an h g ia dUQc h a n h dQng cu a hQ.

b. Co, to i de d a n g d an h gia dUQc.

c. T h in h th o a n g to i th a y de.
2. K hi n g h e mQt ngirdi ke ve ch u yen cu a hQ (cau ch u y en do tu o n g
t y nhir cu a b gn , ho%c cu a n gu d i k h a c m a b^n b iet), ban co
cam thay la m in h m u o n n gu d i do ket th u c de b$n co th e ke
cho ngirdi a y cau ch u y e n cu a ch in h m in h k h o n g ?
a. C o, to i th u d n g cam th a y n h u v£y.
b. T h in h th o a n g to i cam th a y n h u v$y.
c. HQa h o a n la m to i m d i th a y n h u v§y.
3. N eu b^n th a n cu a b$n k e ve mQt cau ch u y en m a ch on g, vqt co /
anh a y d an g la m n g u d i dd dau lon g, b^n se:
a. M u on cuti b$n m inh. V i dy: B$n den ndi ch u yen vd i ch on g /
vQ cua hQ, de hQ kh on g tiep ty c lam cho b$n m in h dau long.
b. C o g a n g k h u y e n b a n m in h de b$n v d i di n o i dau. V i d y : Chi
ra n h im g Uu d iem cu a vQ /ch on g hQ.
c. Cu" de ch o b^n cu a m in h noi, sau do h d i x em b a n m inh
m u o n gi.
4. H a y tu d n g tUQng rnQt tin h h u o n g sau: B$n la mQt n h a tu van
ch u y e n n g h iep , niQt k h a ch h a n g den p h an n an v d i b^n ran g con
gai ciia an h ta d$o n a y h a y di ch o i ve k h u ya , hQC h a n h be tr§.
B an ca m th a y n h u c n h o i \ i ch in h con cua b$n cu n g n h u v a y va
b^n d a n g ch u a b ie t xir li n h u th e nao vd i con m in h . B$n co n gh i
ra n g m in h se:
4 18 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m If

a. C o n g n h a n la m in h cu n g rcfi va o tin h tr a n g tu o n g ty , sau

do b an th a o lu an cu n g an h ta cach thu'c m a ca hai ben co
th e la m ch o co n m inh.
b. A n ui k h a ch h a n g , sau do noi sa n g ch u y en k h a c.
c. K h u ye n k h ic h an h ta noi ve v a n d e cu a m in h , n h u n g kh on g
n oi gi v e ch u y en cu a con m inh.
5 . K h i giu p m ot n g u d i dang co b u c xu c, ban co thay rang m inh da
bo sot m ot va i th on g tin m a n gu d i ay vira ndi, v i ban dang nghi
den cach th u c g iu p dd ho:
a. Co, d ieu n a y th u d n g x a y ra.
b. D ieu d o h ie m kh i x a y ra.
c. D ieu do th in h th o a n g x a y ra.

C a ch tinh d iem tra c n g h iem ve kha n a n g lan g n g h e

1. a=2 b=0 c= l
2. a=0 b=l c=2
3. a=0 b=0 c=2
4. a=0 b=0 c=2
5. a=0 b=2 c= l

T i t 7 d en 10 diem : B an vira la n ha th a m va n ch u y e n n ghiep,

vira la mQt tro n g so it n g u d i co k h a n a n g b a m sin h b ie t la n g nghe
n g u d i kh ac.

T it 4 d en 6 diem : B an la n g u d i n g h e tot. B an h ieu ta m quan

tro n g cu a v ie c la n g n g h e m a k h o n g de n h a n xet, k in h nghiem ,
tin h cam cu a m in h xen vao ch u yen cu a n g u d i m in h d a n g giup.
B an co th e p h a t h u y k h a n a n g n a y h o n nUa.

T it o d en 3 diem : H ay d oan xem , b a n la n g u d i b in h th u d n g .

Ban tra ld i ch in h x a c g a n n h u tat ca n h u n g dieu m a h au h et ch u n g
ta th u d n g la m tr u d c k h i d u p c dao tao de trd th a n h n h a th a m van.

B. K3nang dat cau hoi

1. Luyen dat nhung cau hdi khach quan

D u d i d a y la vi du v e mQt so cau h oi m d k h a ch q u a n . C h u n g
toi d u a ra n h a m g iu p sin h vien co th e de d an g lu y e n ca ch d a t cau
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thiic hanh th a m van tam If 4 19

hoi. C h u n g ta co th e du’a ra nhi'eu cau h oi k h a c th eo kin h n gh iem

cua m in h.
1. Em co dieu gi m uon ch ia se v a i toi?
2 . Em m uon bat dau tu dau?
3 . B a y g id em dang cam thay the nao?
4 . Em cd the ndi ro han v e dieu do?
5 . D ieu do cd y nghia gi doi vd i em ?
6. Em nghi sao v e v ie c ....?
' r

7 . Em m uon sir v i e c .......... dien ra nhu the nao?

8. K h i nghi v e ch uyen do, em lien tu d n g den dieu gi ?
f t F

9 . Em thay sir v ie c thay doi nhu the nao?

10. 6 vao hoan canh cua em, co (chu) chua biet phai lam gi day?
11 . Y cua em la gi khi em n d i....?
12 . Em cd the ch o m ot vi du cu the v e dieu dd?
13 . Em hieu dieu do nhu the nao?
14 . L u c dd em phan u n g ra sao?
15 . Em quan tam nhat v e van de gi trong tinh h u on g nay?
16. Em la ngudi trong cuoc, em dinh x u li the nao vdi van de nay?
17 . B a y g id em m ong m uon dieu gi nhat?
18 . E m dinh n h d cd (chu) chuyen gi?
19 . E m th u n ghi x em co cach nao giai quyet tot h an ?
2 0 . E m n g h i dieu do se tien trien nhu the nao?
2 1 . D ieu gi quan trong nhat ddi vd i em hien nay?

2. K i n an g d a t cau hdi

Chuyen cac cau hoi chua "la thuat" thanh cac cau hoi "cd ki thuat"
1. A n h / C h i cd th ich di ch ua k h o n g ?
2. A n h / C h j cd h ai lo n g ve vi£c m ot vai ngirdi th u d n g d u a co t
tr o n g d am d o n g k h o n g ?

3. C h j co n g h i la ch o n g chi se vu i khi b iet tin la ch i co th a i?

4. A n h / C h i co b u o n k h i vQ /ch ong q u a q u an tam d en con g
vi£c c a q u a n k h o n g ?
420 Giao trinh T h a m van t a m If

5. T a i sao a n h / ch j ta \%i xir s y n htf th e v d i ch i/ a n h ?

6. C o n chj co h a y ch ia se ch u yen tin h ca m rie n g tir ciia chau
v d i ch i k h d n g ?

7. C a c co n cu a ch j th u d n g gan gu i v d i ch i h a y v d i ch o n g chi?

8. C hi cd m o i q u a n h£ to t v d i ca c co n k h d n g ?

9. M ? ch o n g ch i cd h a y x et n et con d au k h d n g ?

10. C a c th a n h v ie n tro n g gia d in h chi co g a n gu i v d i nhau

khong?

11. Di'eu ki<?n sd n g d d a y la q u a to t vd i cac ch au p h ai k h o n g ?

12. T a i sao ca c b a n k h a c la m dUdc m a ch au k h d n g la m dUQc?

3. H ay dat cdc cau hdi giup than chu sdng to van de ciia hq

(C ach d at cau h o i cu a b a n th e hi$n m ire dQ n a m v u n g k i n ang

d §t cau h d i).

1. Cu" m di Tan co di'eu gi k h d n g h ai lo n g v d i tdi la b o tdi ndi lien tyc,

h au n h u d n g ay k h d n g n gh e toi giai th ich. T d i k h d n g b ie t m inh
cd th e ch iu d u n g tin h tran g n a y b ao lau nUa.

- C au h o i cu a b an

2. C hon g tdi t y b o vipc d c0 quan da hai th a n g n a y do m au th u an vdi

sep cua an h ay, di'eu n a y cd anh h u d n g td i th u n h ap ciia gia dinh.
T u y nhien, di'eu tdi lo h o n ca la an h ay k h o n g cd y d in h tim m Q t
viQc de lam .

- C au h o i cu a b an

3. C h o n g td i la co n mQt nen tin h tin h cir lo n g b a lo n g b o n g , m ?

anh a y th i vd tu , c tfb e n h an h a y ch am ch §p , nhi'eu k h i tdi k h d n g
b ie t m in h p h a i la m gi tro n g cai n ha nay?

- C au h d i cu a b an
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thiic hanh th am van tam If | 421

4. T o i b ie t v q toi la ngtfefi rat tot, thtfcfng yeu ch o n g thtfcfng con

h et m tfc, nhtfng nhieu kh i co a y cur lam roi tu n g ca n h a len. Di
lam ca n g a y th i th o i chuf v e den n ha n h ieu k h i toi p h at dien len
vcfi co ay.
- C au h oi cu a b an

5. Bo m e chau lu c nao cung n hac n h d chau, doi hoi chau het cai nay
den cai kia, co khi vi tu t mQt chuyen gi do lai noi chau la do an
bam . Nhi'eu khi chau chi m uon chuyen ra ngoai 0 cho th oai m ai.
Nhtfng chau lai chtfa co viec lam nen danh phai of lai cai nha nay
m a n ghe h(? chui.
- C au h o i cu a b an

4. D a t nhitng cau hdi vd m o hinh hoa van

a. Ban dtfQc biet ve cau chuyen cua M in h n htf sau: M inh, 13

tuoi, hQC ld p 7. E m da b o hQe dtfQc mQt tu a n nay. Stf v ie c la cach
d ay mQt tu an , em n g h e b a nQi noi ran g b o m e em se b o n h au va
kh on g b ie t em se d v d i ai. D ieu th^t b a t n g d la m a y n g a y sau,
M in h n g h e ca c b a n tro n g ld p b an tan ran g b o em v a co giao chu
nhiem - n gtfdi m a em k h o n g co cam tin h , co tin h y v d i n h au .
M in h ca m th a y ra t d au kho.
T ro n g v a i tro la n h a th am va n hQe dtfdn g den gap M in h tai
nha em , b a n se:
- D at ra nhtfng cau hoi ma ban cho la quan trQng.
- M d h in h h o a v a n de cua th an chu (dtfa th eo m o h in h htfd n g
d an tro n g chtfO ng 5. p h a n k i nan g dat cau hoi)
b. T h an chu ke vd i nha tham van: Tdi cd m ot ngu:&i ban g d i hoc
cim g ld p hoi p h o thong dtf& i que. N g a y do toi co tinh cam v&i cd
ay. H o c xo n g l&p 12, qua ngtf& i anh trai gi&i thieu, co ay da ctf&i
chon g ngay vd theo chong ve H a N oi. Cach day m ot nam , tinh c&
tdi ga p lai cd ay sau 10 nam xa ccich. Trong cd ay van n h tf trtf&c
day, cd dieu tr'dng xa n h xao, buon kho. N g h e ndi chong cd dy da
m a t 2 nam nay. C him g tdi ndi lai quan he vd gap nhau thtf&ng
xu y en tr'ong m o t nam nay, m di khi tdi len H a N oi. Tdi dan g nghi
xem cd nen di thtf m au hay khdng?
422 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m If

T ro n g v a i tro la ngirdi th a m van , b?in se:

- D at ra n h u n g cau h oi m a b?in ch o la q u a n trQng.
- M o hin h hoa v a n d e cua than chu (dtfa th eo m o h in h hircfng
dan tro n g c h u o n g 5, p h an k i n an g d§t cau hdi)

C. Ki nang phan hoi

1 . C d c m § n h d e t h it d t i g d i v & i c a u p h a n h o i c u a n h d
th a m v a n

• D u d n g n hir la ....
• T d i cd ca m nh^n ran g ....
• N h u v£y, b a n m u o n ran g ....
• H in h n h u b ^ n ...
• L ieu tdi cd n h a m k h i h ieu y b$n vura n oi la ....
• T o i cam th a y n h u tig b u t x u c cu a b a n cd lien q u a n t d i ....
• Cd v e n h u b a n d an g ca m t h a y ....
• V a n de ch in h b a n m u o n noi la...
• T d i da co g a n g h ieu di'eu b a n ndi, y b$n la ...
• D e x e m tdi cd h ie u y b a n kh d n g, co p h a i b$n nd i la....

2. X a c d in h cdc cam xu c vd p h a n h oi cam xu c do

D qc ca c tin h h u d n g d u d i day, sau kh i x a c d in h ca m x u c cua

th a n ch u h a y gh i la i cam x u c do v a chi p h a n h o i va o d u n g cam
x u c m a b a n ch o la n h u vay. V i d y:
- T h a n chu: MQi n g u d i b an tan q u a nhi'eu td i m u’c to i C am xuc
k h o n g b ie t d u n g sai ra sao nUa. cua than
- P h an h oi: B an cam th a y h o a n g m an g k h o n g b iet chu
p h ai la m gi tr o n g tin h h u o n g do. H oang
m an g
- T h a n chu: C au ch u y en toi ke vd i chi toi ch u a tu n g
noi vd i ai ca.
C HL/ONG 8: Luyen thiic hanh th am van ta m li | 423

- P han hoi

- T h a n chu: C h o n g toi chi b iet den m in h, anh ay

k h o n g q u an tam td i mQt ai tro n g gia dinh.
- Phan hoi:

- T han chu: N oi ch uyen vcfi b a ay thi noi vd i <Jau goi con

hon.
- Phan hoi:

- T h a n chu: X ir s y n h u th e m a cu n g vo ngtfc la ngtfofi

co hQe thu'c cao.
- Phan hoi:.

- T h a n chu: Horn do no di td i mQt g id san g m d i ve,

m at m ui p h d ph^c, sau do toi thu’c den san g lu on .
- Phan hoi:

- T h a n chu: T d i ndi gi ch au cu n g van g, nhtfng sau do

chau k h d n g la m gi ca, ch u yen n a y l§p di l$p l^i rat
nhieu lan.
- P han hoi:

- T h a n chii: H au n h tf anh ay k h o n g m u o n n h ac n h d
con gai vi sQ n o p h a t y, n gay ca khi no lam sai.
- P han hoi:

3. L u y en cd c d g n g p h a n hoi trite tiep vao cdc cau ndi

cua than chu ditoi day 1:

1. Ban trai toi rii tdi ve nha anh ay sau buoi sinh nhat ban. Toi rat
vu i vi toi rat q u y anh ay. N him g toi biet rang m e tdi kh on g dong y
ch u yen nay.

1T ai li^u k h o a ta p h u a n v e th a m v an , Q uy D an so T h e gidi, 1998.

424 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m li

2. T o i n g h i n h a an h ay con co n hieu ngtfefi n en se k h o n g co van die

gi. K hi v'e d en n h a an h a y to i h oi co ai cf n h a ntfa k h o n g , th i anh
ay b a o k h o n g co ai n g o a i ch u n g toi.

3. A n h a y dtfa to i v a o p h o n g cu a anh ay v a b a t dau dQng ch^m vao

ngtfefi toi. L u c d au to i co g an g n gan anh ay lai, n h tfn g roi sau do
toi lai de an h a y tiep ty c.

4. MQt tu a n sau to i b a t dau lo sQ. T o i su y n gh i v'e ch u y en m in h co

th e co th ai. S au va i n g a y toi q u y et d jn h ke vofi m e to i di'eu gi da
x a y ra.

4. Trinh bay cau p h a n h oi cho tinh h u on g sau

a. N tf th ie u n ien 14 tu o i ta m stf vcfi n h a th a m van : C h au co y

d in h b o n h a ra di. C h a dtfQng lu o n lu o n chi trich ch au . O n g ay
lu o n n g h iem k h a c b a t ch au la m n htfng co n g v ie c m a o n g ta yeu
cau. C h au p h a i la m n h tfn g co n g v ie c m a ch au k h o n g la m dtfQc.
M e ch au k h o n g b a o gicf la n g n gh e nhtfng di'eu ch au n oi v a lu on
d u n g v e p h ia ch a dtfQng. H q k h o n g tin ch au mQt ch u t n a o 1.

1 . T am trang cu a th a n chu luc nay nhtf the nao?

2 . B an cam nhan dtfQc gi tu nhung th ong tin than chu d ua ra:

1 Corev.G, T h e o r y a n d P r a c tic e o f C o u n se lin g & P h s y c h o th e r a p y , Books/ Cole Publishing

Company, 1991.
C HI/0 NG 8: Luyen thuc hanh th am van tam li | 425

3 . Phan hoi true tiep nhung dieu minh cam nhan d u g c tir nhung
thong tin than chu dua ra:

b. NgiTcfi p h y ntf k h o a n g 50 tu oi noi vd i n h a th a m van: C h on g

toi la ngtfdi h a m vu i, lu c nao anh ay cu n g ru b an b e ve n h a u on g
rtfQu. Lan n ao cu n g v£y, h et rtfQu la sa y xin chtfi b d i lu n g tu n g
lam am 1 gia d in h , co kh i lai d an h vo cd m e con tdi. T di k h d n g b iet
phai lam gi, b a y g id th i dau cu n g da hai th tf to e roi, nhtfng song
the n ay thi m e con to i k h o qua.

1. T am tr^ng cu a th a n chu luc n a y n htf th e n ao?

2. Bgn cam nh£n d tfdc ttf nhirng th o n g tin th a n chu dtfa ra:

3. Phan h oi trtfc tiep nhtfng dieu m in h cam n h | n dtfQc ttf nhtfng

th on g tin th a n ch u d ua ra:

D. K i n an g thau cam

1. C hi ra n h tfn g gia tri tich ctfc nam dtfdi nhtfng cam xuc,
h an h vi tieu ctfc b im g p h at cua th an chu. H a y p h a t b ie u th a n h cau
b a y to stf ch ap n h an , k h d n g phan xet th an chu.

- T h a n ch ii d a n h con vi no cai h o n vd i ba.

- T h a n ch ii ttf ttf h y t vi ngtfdi yeu ghen tu d n g, n g h i ngd.

- T h a n ch ii xe sa ch cu a con kh i n hin th a y mQt d iem kem .

- T h a n chii n oi v e con m in h rang: "G ia no ch et di to i co n th a y

d d k h o ta m hofn".

- T h a n ch ii q u a y co p nen bj dudi hQe.

426 | Giao trinh T h a m van ta m li

2. V a n d y n g n h u tig hirdng dan v e k i n a n g th a u ca m tr o n g chtfOng

5 de v ie t ld i th a u cam th eo nhtfng tin h h u d n g m a th a n chu chia
se sau d a y (yeu cau d b | c 3).

a. Tdi k h o n g the ch ju n o i m oi stf ca n th iep cu a m e ch o n g toi.

N h ie u k h i tdi ch i m u o n d u ’a ba dy ve q u e ch o g ia din h d d
ca n g th a n g . N h tfn g lam n h tf vay to i la i k h d n g d an h.

b. Tdi r a t titc g ia n vi than g con l&n n ha tdi no 1 7 tu o i rdi ma

h o c h a n h lon g bon g, suo't n g a y ch i th ich d ien tit va ngu.
T di c h i lo ch a u tr tfd t d a i h o c thi k h d n g b ie t lam gi sau
nay. Tdi ra t m et m di vi p h a i n h a c n h d ch a u m d i ngay. Tdi
kh d n g b iet p h a i x it stf v&i no n h tf th e 'n a o ntfa.

c. T di ca m th a y bu on b tfc & ban tha n vi th& i g ia n c it troi di

m a tdi k h d n g lam d tf& c v ie c g i ch o co y n g hia .

3. L i?t ke ca c ca m xu c, gia tr; tich ctfc n a m d u d i n h tfn g cam xuc,

h a n h v i tie u c u t. V i d y: M ? q u a t con v i no k h o n g ch ju h(?c hanh
— > Lo la n g v e ttfOng la i cu a con.

4. B a y to th a u ca m tr o n g cac tin h h u o n g sau. C a ch n o i cu a b^n vdi

th a n ch u th e h i§ n ca c m tfc dQ b a y to th a u ca m (ttf g a v "ac cam "
d en th a u ca m d b a c cao (trin h b a y ca b o n b ac).

1. C on g d i tdi r a t y eu m o t cau ban cu n g l&p. N h tfn g Tan chau

d tfa ban ve n ha chcfi, tdi ca m thay ca u ta k h d n g he ch a n thanh
v&i con g d i tdi. T o i ndi cha u la i k h d n g n g h e vi ch a u r a t y eu cau
ta. Tdi bu o n vd lo lan g cho con tdi qua.

B a ci:

B ac 2:

B ac 3:

B ac 4
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thiic hanh th am van tam li 427

2. C hong tdi th itd n g xu y en ch iti riia, lang m g, danh dap tdi vi

bat cu" su" khong h a i Idng nao ciia anh ay. Tham chi m di Tan chiti
tdi anh cdn loi h a i cu than sinh ra tdi ra de chiti, dii cac cu song d
ncfi khd c vd rat it kh i ga p anh. Tdi rat dau long vi chuyen nay.

B£c l:

B ac 2:

B ac 3:

B ac 4:

3. B a h a n g x o m ca n h nhd tdi su o t ngay m d k a ra o k e am i

lam tu i tre nhd tdi khd n g sao hoc d ita c . Tdi da ndi n hieu Tan
n h itn g bd ay van khd n g van nhd xu o n g , d o i k h i tdi thay n g o t
n gat, b ite b o i q u a !

B gc 1:
428 | Giao trinh Tham van tam li

Bac 2:

B ac 3:

B ac 4

4. Toi cam thay that vong vao ban than vi th&i gian ctf troi
qua m a chu!a lam d u p c gi n htf m inh m on g m uon, du toi da co
gang rat nhieu.

B ac 1:

B ac 2

B ac 3

E. Ki nang diftfng <Iau

1. Sau khi xem vi du, h a y viet can g n h ieu can g tot cac cach bay
to k h ac n hau cua ki nang d u o n g <fau sau m 6 i cau noi cua th an chu:

T h an chu noi: "Toi da su y n gh i k i ve vi£c li hon , toi cu n g khong

con yeu anh a y nua". O a khoe mQt cach th a m thiet.

- N ha th am va n chi ra su1 kh on g th o n g nhat, n h am kich thich

than chu doi di£n vcfi m au thuan: MQt m at chi noi kh o n g con yeu
anh ay nen m u on li hon , n h u n g toi th ay chi lai kh oe mQt cach am uc.

- Y eu cau th an chu giai thich, ch un g m inh stf kh o n g th o n g nhat,

sU vo li cua m au thu&n: H ay giai thich cho toi hieu y chi la gi khi chj
noi chi da su y n gh i ki ve vi£c li hon, v a chi kh on g con yeu anh ay nua
trong khi do chi lai khoe m gt cach th on g thiet n h u vav.
CH UO NG 8: Luyen thuc hanh tham van tam If 429

- T o m I u q c lam ro dieu k h o n g th o n g nhat: C hi noi ran g chi da

su y n g h i k i v'e vi$c li h o n va chi k h o n g con yeu an h ay n u a n h im g
chi l^i k h o e nhi'eu n h u v£y. T om lai co p h ai y chi la chi k h o n g
danh lo n g ch ia ta y v d i anh ay.

- T hau cam d mu’c dQ cao: Chi da suy nghi la ve hon nhan cua
m inh va cung th ay li hon la con dudng kho tranh khoi, tu y nhien
khong de gi chi co the cat bo n gay duQc vd i ngudi da tung dau goi tay
ap, vi v£y chi cam th ay dau kho khi nghi den vi£c li hon. N hieu ngudi
trong h oan canh cua chi hQ cung cam thay dau kho n h u vay.

a. T h an chu: "Lan tham van tn t& c chf noi rang chi khong
m uon nhin m a t anh ay, Tan nay chj lai bao chj khong the song
thieu chong m in h ”.

- C hi ra s y k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- Y eu cau th a n chu giai th ich s y k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- T o m lUQc la m rd dieu k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- T h a u ca m d m u’c dQ cao:

- S u d y n g s y ch am b iem , m ia m ai:

b. T h a n ch u: “N o d i m o t tuan nay c h iia ve. G id nd c h e t di tdi

co n d d k h o ta m hern. L ieu tdi cd the tim nd & d a u d w a c n h i” .
430 | Giao trinh Tham van tam li

- Chi ra stf khong thong nhat:

- Y eu cau th a n ch u giai th ich stf k h o n g th o n g n hat:

- T o m ltfQc la m ro di'eu k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- T h a u ca m d m u’c do cao:

- Sir d y n g sy ch am b ie m , m ia m ai:

c. T h a n chu: “ T d i cd d o i x it p h a n b iet g i v&i h a i a n h em no.

Co d ieu no la con g d i tro n g nha nd p h a i la m cd c co n g v iec gia
d in h, bep niic, lefn ga la v ie c cu a d an bd con ga i, a n h nd b iet gi
m a lam ".
- C hi ra stf k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- Y e u cau th a n chu giai th ich s y k h o n g th o n g n hat:

- T o m ltfQc la m ro di'eu k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- T h a u ca m a m u’c dQ cao:
C H UO N G 8: Luyen thiic hanh tham van tam If 431

- Sir d y n g s y ch am b iem , m ia m ai:

d. T h a n chu: “N e u da la ban than thi ch a cd n no g iri thiep

m &i tdi cu n g d i du: d a m cw&i con no. Tuy n hien ve p h ia no, no
cung cdn p h a i co l&i cho d an g h o a n g ” .

- C hi ra s y k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- Y eu cau th a n ch u giai th ich s y k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- T o m liTQc la m ro di'eu k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- T h a u ca m d m ire dQ cao:

- Sir d y n g s y ch a m b ie m , m ia m ai:

d. T h a n chu: “ Toi thi tdi rat yeu cd ay, nhirng khd n g hieu sao
m e tdi la i k h d n g tfa co ay. Cu cu n g cha n g son g d w a c bao lau
nWa vi vay tdi k h d n g m uon lam cu b u o n ” .

- C hi ra s y k h o n g th o n g nhat:
432 | Giao trinh Tham van tam li

- Y e u cau th a n chu giai th ich stf k h o n g th o n g n hat:

- T o m ltfqfc la m ro di'eu k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- T h a u ca m d m u’c dQ cao:

- Sir d u n g s y ch am b ie m , m ia m ai:

e. T h a n chu: “D o i v&i tdi, ch u n g thiiy la d ieu ra t q u a n trQng

tro n g q u a n he v& ch o n g . T u y n hien tdi co q u y en cd cd c m oi quan
he k h d c m d k h d n g n h a t th ie t p h a i ndi v&i vQ td i” .

- C h i ra su1k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- Y e u cau th a n chii giai th ich stf k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- T o m ltfQc la m rd di'eu k h o n g th o n g nhat:

- T h a u ca m d m u’c dQ cao:
CHLTONG 8: Luyen thi/c hanh tham van tam If 433

- Sir d y n g stf ch am biem , m ia m ai:

G. KI nang dien giai

Sau khi xem vi d y, phan tich va dien giai 3 tin h h u o n g cua

than chii:

V i d y: T h a n chii noi: T o i rat b y e m inh vd i con toi vi ch au hpc

rat cam ch im g, ch au chi thich ch oi vcfi b an be h o a c lam cac vi?c
linh tinh. Nhi'eu khi toi den xau ho vd i ket qua hoc cua chau.

- Sy k i?n g a y ra noi bye m inh d th an chu: C on hQC cam

chim g, k h o n g ch am chi n htf b o m ong m uon.

- T h a n chii q u y ch ieu loi do cho: D ita tre.

- C am xu c h ign tgi cua than chu: X a u ho.

- V an de cu a th a n chu: T h an chu do loi cho du’a tre tro n g khi

nguyen n h an lam th an chu bi ton thtfOng ch in h la n h u cau m on g
m uon con h g c d$t dtfgfc ket qua cao cu a th a n chu.

- D ien giai: D tfdng nhtf anh q ua ch am lo va o ch u ygn hQC h a n h

cua ch au , anh m u o n ch au trd th an h m au ngtfdi th a n h d at de anh
kh on g cam th a y xau h o vd i ngtfdi ngoai. D ieu an h btfc m in h la
chau da k h o n g d ap im g dtfpc nhu cau cu a anh.

a. T h a n chii: “ Tdi gan n h it d itt titn g kh u c r u o t k h i p h a i rao

ban n g o i b iet th it do toi xay len, vay m a anh ta d en x em nhd v&i
thdi d o k h in h k h in h c it n h it cdi nhd nay la th it g ie ra ch a y ” .

- Stf kign g a y ra cam x u c cho th an chu:

- T h a n chii q u y ch ieu loi do cho:

434 I Giao trinh Tham van tam li

- Cam xuc hi£n t^ii cua than chu:

- V a n d'e cu a th a n chu:

- D ien giai:

b. T h a n chu: “K h d n g p h a i tdi la n gw d i g h en tu d n g nhd nhen

m d van d e la ca u ban cu a tdi la n g it& i khd n g d itn g d an . Tdi rat
so1cd ay cd tin rd i la i bj cau ta cho va o tr o n g ” .

- Stf k if n g a y ra ca m x u c cho th a n chu:

. - T h a n ch u q u y ch ieu loi do cho:

- C a m x u c h i? n t$i cu a th&n chu:

- V a n d'e cu a th a n chu:

- D iin giai\y
CH UO N G 8: Luyen thuc hanh tham van tam If 435

c. T h a n chu: N h ieu v i?c anh ay n han lam mq>t ca ch t\t

n gu yen , n h itn g k h i vi li d o nao do khon g lam d ittfc thi l$p titc
anh ay triit b ite b$i len vtf con, c it n h it the la m oi ngitcfi b a t anh
ay lam .
- S y ki£n g a y ra cam x u c cho th an chu:

- T h a n chu q u y ch ieu loi do cho:

- C am x u c h i?n t$i cu a th an chu:

- V a n de cu a th a n chu:

- D ien giai:

H. Ki nang xu* 11 im lang

I. T ham k h a o n h itn g cach x it li s it im lang ciia than chii

Khi th an chu im l£ng nha tham van phai phan d oan n gay
nguyen n han cu a stf im lang. Sau do co the b at dau b an g m pt so cau
vi d y n h u sau:

a. N eu n h a th a m v a n cho ran g th an chu im l£ng vi ch u a b iet

nen giai b a y th e nao, n ha th am van co th e noi: D oi k h i ch u n g ta
cam th a y k h o k h a n tro n g vi£c giai b a y tam stf vcfi ngtfofi n goai
(h a y d oi k h i ch u n g ta cam th a y kh o k h a n k h i b at d au cau ch u yen
cu a m in h )...

- V i v£ y a n h / ch i ctf noi nhtfng gi m in h n h d , sau do ch u n g ta

se cu n g sap x ep l<ii.
 Giao trinh Tham van tam li

- V i vay, anh/chi co the noi bat cu" dieu gi dan g ch g t den trong
dau. K hong nhat thiet anh/chj phai ke n gay van de burc xu c cu a minh.

- V i vay, a n h / ch i cir tir tir, k h o n g can p h ai vp i v a n g , m in h nhd

d en d au , noi d en day.

b. N eu nha th am van cho rang than chu im lan g vi b uon ba hay

dau kho, nha th am van co the noi: Khi anh/chi chia se di'eu dang
lam a n h / c h i.... vd i ch un g toi, anh/chi se th a y n o i .....dirge vcfi di va
quan trQng la chung ta co the tim ra dirge cach giai quyet cho van d'e
cua anh/chi.

c. N eu n h a th a m van cho ran g th an ch ii im l^ng vi sQ Iq bi

m^t, n h a th a m v a m co th e noi: N g u yen ta c cu a to chirc ch u n g toi
la giu' bi m at v e n hirn g dieu k h a ch h a n g ch ia se. V i va y, a n h /ch j co
th e ndi ch u y en rien g cu a m in h m a k h d n g s g b j lg ra b en n goai.

2. H ay bay to k i nang x it li s it im lang trong cd c tinh hu on g sau:

a. T h a n ch u k h o n g b ie t b at dau tir dau.

b. T h a n ch u k h d n g cd k h a n an g b a y to n g i ta m , h o a c la ngtfdi
n h u t n h a t k h o n g q u en tam stf.

c. T h a n ch u s g d ieu n oi ra se b j n h a th a m v a n ctfdi, ch e trach

h a y d a n h gia, h o a c lam to n thtfQng d en n gtfdi kh ac.

d. T h a n ch u m u o n giau , m u on q uen di stfvi^ c.

d. T h a n ch u s g ndi ra k h o n g d u g c th o n g cam .

e. T h a n ch u k h o n g tin ttfd n g n h a th a m van.

g. T h a n ch u n oi ra s g n h a th a m v a n h ieu lam .

h. T h a n ch ii ch o ran g gitf im la n g se to t h o n noi ra.

i. T h a n ch u q u a n ni£m ran g do ch u yen ca n h an , k h o n g nen va

khong the noi ra.

k. Than chu cho rang do la loi cua ban than nen khong muon
nhac lai.

1 . Than chu khon g hieu ve qua trinh tham van nen chi noi khi
nha tham van hoi.
CH UO N G 8: Luyen thuc hanh tham van tam If 437

m. T h a n chu d an g qua x u c dpng nen k h o n g noi ra dtfgfc.

n. T h a n chu im l£ng gitfa ch u n g de th tf gian lam diu xu c cam .

0. T h a n chu k h o noi vi do la di'eu te nhj.

p. T h a n chu im la n g de th am do h a y kiem ch u n g gi do.

q. T h a n chu ch o ran g do la so phan va cam chiu, ch ap nh£n.

r. T h a n chu k h o n g co th oi quen ch ia se vcri ngtfefi kh ac.

I. KI nang cung cap thong tin

1. H ay ch u yen nhtfng cau cua than chu th a n h cac d ap u n g cua

nha th a m va n d d an g cu n g cap ld i k h u yen v a cu n g cap th o n g tin
dtfdi day:

a. T h a n chu: “H a i v a chon g tdi lam v iec cim g m o t ccf quan,

tham ch i cu n g m o t p h d n g . O cho nay thu n hap cu n g kha vi vay
hai v a ch o n g khd n g a i m uon chu y en di. N h tfn g tdi thay co n hieu
p h itc tap qua, co k h i v iec d au dau ch a n g lien q u a n d en m inh
cuoi cim g vcf ch o n g la i cd i nhau. A n h bao tdi p h a i lam gi d a y ? ” .

- N h a th a m va n ch o ld i kh u yen

- N h a th a m va n cu n g cap th o n g tin

b. T han chu: “D a o nay tdi cam thay site khoe cua m inh bj sa sut.
Tdi nghi m inh bi nhiem H IV do lay nhiem tit ngtf& i anh trai cimg
dim g chung kim tiem . Tdi m uon di xet nghiem H IV, n htfn g tdi lai sa
neu ket qua la ditcfng tinh thi tdi khdng the chiu dtfng d ita c ” .

- N h a th a m va n ch o ld i kh u yen
438 | Giao trinh T h a m van ta m li

- N ha tham van cung cap thong tin

c. T h a n chu: “E m d an g la sin h vien K h o a T am li hoc, hQe het

nam th it hai, em s d c it tiep tu c theo d u o i ba n g c it n han tam li
hQC ro i ra t n t d n g n h d k h o n g co vi$c lam thi chet. E m d a n g dinh
ch u y en sa n g m o t t n t d n g k h d c h o c trung ca p cu n g d ita c , m ien la
ra t n t d n g co co n g an v iec lam ngay. N h itn g n g h i la i tiec hai
nam h o c q u a ” .

- N h a th a m v a n ch o ld i k h u yen

- N h a th a m v a n cu n g cap th o n g tin

d. T h a n chu: “E m q u en an h ay d u n g m itd i m a y nam d

t n t d n g p h o thon g, anh dy hoc tren em h a i nam . B a y g id an h dy
da hQe d a i hoc. T hin h thoan g em la i g g p a n h dy. Co ve n h it anh
dy th ich em , n h itn g em b iet an h ay t n t d c d ay dd titn g y eu m$t
ch i cim g nam . A n h dy van hay ch a t cho em . E m khd n g b iet the la
th e'n a o nvta” .

- N h a th a m van cho ld i k h u yen

- N h a th a m v a n cu n g cap th o n g tin

K. K i nang b$c Iq ban than

l. N eu ban trd thanh m ot nhd tham van chuyen nghiep, n h itn g

thong tin cd nhan nao ban san sdng boc lo cho than chu biet:
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thuc hanh th am van tam li 439

2. T ron g q u a trinh tham van nhirng thon g tin nao co the

thay & than chu m a ban d y djn h se boc lo cho ho b iet v&i m uc
d ich vi s y trtf& n g thanh cua than c h ii9

TV. p h A n t i c h m o i q u a n h e GIUA n h a n t h u ’c -
xuc cA m - h A n h VI
l. Danh gid mute cang thang cua cdc sitki$n

N hirng stf k ien d an g d ien ra tro n g dofi so n g cu a tim g ngtfdi co

the lam xao tr(m v e th e chat, nhan thirc, x u c cam v a h a n h vi. D ieu
nay doi h d i p h a i cd m pt stf dieu ch in h v e tam li n h at dinh.
T h om as H o lm es v a R ich ard R ache (1967) da xac d in h m o t b an g
gia tri cu a ca c stf k ien q u a m tfc do cang th a n g cu a no vd i ten goi
la: “P h am vi th tf b£c cu a viec dieu ch in h m a n g tin h xa h oi". C ac
nha th a m van da stf d y n g b an g xep th tf b£c ve cac stf k ien x a y ra
de xac d in h m tfc d o ca n g th an g cua cac th a n chu.

Bang danh gia mu’c do cang thing cua cac sir kien

Cap Cap
C ac s y ki£n Diem C ac su 1k i?n D iem
bac bac
Con trai hoac con
1 Chong/vgf chet 100 23 29
gai rcri gia dinh
G$p rac roi vcri bo
2 Ly hon 73 24 29
me chong/vqf
Tinh trgng Thanh tyu ca nhan
3 65 25 28
ly than xuat sac

Tinh tr$ng bj giam Vgf bat dau

4 63 26 hoijic cham dut lam 26
giir
vi£c
Ngirdi than trong Bat dau
5 63 27 26
gia dinh chet ho$c thoi hQC
Dau om ho$c
thuWng vong Thay doi ve dieu
6 53 28 25
ca nhan ki£n song

Ket hon 50 29
Sira doi nhimg thoi
7 24
quen ca nhan
440 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m If

Hoa ho?m khi lam Gijp r 4c roi

8 vi^c 47 30 vdi sep 23

Hoa giai Thay doi gid giac,

9 45 31 20
hon nhan di'eu kien lam viec
Thay doi
10 Vie huu 45 32 v'e noi d
20

Thay doi v'e sufc

11 khoe cua thanh 44 33 Chuyen tnrdng 20
vien trong gia dinh
Thay doi
12 Thai san 40 34 thu tieu khien 19
Kho khan v'e van de
13 sinh lv 39 35 Thay doi tin ngirdng 19
Gia dinh co thanh Thay doi cac hoat
14 vien mdi 39 36 dong xa hdi
18

The chap hoac

Vi^c di'eu chinh lai
15 viec kinh doanh 39 37 khoan vay it hon 17
10.000$
Thay doi ve dieu Thay doi ve thoi
16
kien tai chinh
38 38 quen di ngu
16

Thay doi v'e cac cuqc

17 Ban than chet 37 39 hop mat gia dinh 15
Chuyen sang linh Thay doi thdi quen
18
vyc, cong viec mo,
36 40 an uong 14
Tranh cai voi
19 ch'dng/vcr 35 41 Nghi ngoi 13 :

The chap hon

20
10.000$ 31 42 Giang sinh 12

Bj tich thu tai san Nhirng vi pham

21
the chap, vay
30 43 phap luat nho
11

Thay doi v'e trach

22 29
nhiem cong viec

G ia tri cu a cac su1k ien tro n g cuqc so n g tro n g S R R S d ao d on g

tir 100 d iem doi v d i cai ch et cua v g /ch o n g va 11 d iem doi vd i
n h im g vi p h a m p h a p lu a t nho h a n . N htfng su1 k ien da x a y ra vdi
th an ch u d tfQ c x e m xet tro n g k h o a n g th d i gian k h o n g q u a 24
th an g. C ac stf k ien x a y ra d m oi th an chu se dtfQc to n g hQp de xac
dinh to n g d iem so ca n g th an g. N eu mQt ca n h an co h a n 300 d iem
th i se co n g u y cQ stress n gh iem trQng. Tir tren 200 den 300 d iem
stress d m u’c tru n g b in h , con tir 100 den 20 0 d iem bj stre ss nhe.
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thirc hanh th am van tam If 441

Dtfdi 100 d iem la n gtfdng m a ca nhan co th e ttf kiem soat dtfgfc

nhtfng su y nghi, cam x u c h a y h an h vi cua m inh.

K h on g p h ai to an bp can g th an g m a ch u n g ta trai q u a deu xu at

phat tu" cac stf kien trp n g dai tro n g cuqc son g - nhtfng stf kien nho
h on cu n g co th e g a y ca n g t h in g dan den nan de, n htf k h i ch u n g ta
trin h b a y m pt b ai p h a t b ieu , de do lpn xpn k h o n g tim th a y khi
can, b j p h a v d yen tin h do h an g xom h a y tu tap rtfpfu b ia... N htfng
stf kien n a y dtfgfc gpi la nhtfng r i c roi h a n g ngay. Co ngtfefi phai
trai qua nhi'eu rac roi h a n g n gay h o n n htfng ngtfofi kh ac. N htfng
rac roi n a y co th e d in den nan d'e, nhtfng ngtfefi k h a c co th e lai
kh on g bi.

2. Hay ghi nhitng niem tin ban nghi ve minh m ot each

chacchan

- T oi lu o n lu o n

- T o i k h o n g b a o gic/

- Toi phai

- T o i n h a t d in h

- T o i k h o n g th e

3. H ay thay ddi nhitng niem tin tit huy hoai bang

nhitng niem tin xay dung ve ban than

Nhtfng niem tin tu" huy Nhtfng niem tin xay du*ng
hoai

- Cac ban lam dtfpc toi cung - Toi la mpt ca the dpc lap, toi lam
phai lam dtfpc. dtfpc nhieu viec cua minh, toi khong
nhat thiet phai giong ngirdi khac.
442 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m If

- Ngirdi khac khong duyc

phep nghi xau ve toi.

- Toi khong cho phep minh

lam nhirng dieu ngd ngan de
ngirdi khac cudi toi.

- Toi luon luon phai la hQC

sinh dung dau ldp.
- Toi khong the lam cho bd
m? toi that v<?ng ve toi.
- Du khong muon thi toi van
phai do dai hpc.
- Toi phai lay vp/chong
trudc khi budc sang tuoi 30.
- MQi ngirdi luon chi trich
toi khi toi vo tinh lam Id
viec.
- T o i k h o n g m u o n h oi bo toi
vi toi b iet th e n a o o n g ay
cu n g n o i "k h o n g ".

- Toi khong co kha nang lam

duyc vi$c nay.

4. Phan tich m oi quan h$ xuc cam - hanh vi

1. H ay g iu p th a n ch u lam san g to m oi q u a n h e nh£n thu'c - xuc

cam - h a n h v i tro n g th o n g d iep th a n ch u dira ra. Sir d y n g hai
co n g th u ’c m au dirdi day:

1/ "Ban ca m thay (ca m x u c )........, v i/b & i vi (nh£n thu'c).......,

D ieu ban m u o n (h an h vi m o n g m u o n )....".

2/ "B a n cho ran g (n h a n thu’c ) ...... , vi vay ban ca m th a y (cam

x u c ) ..........D ie u ban m u o n (h an h vi m on g m u o n )".

V i du, th a n ch u noi: T oi khon g biet nen b a t d a u nhir the

nao... Toi d jn h d i lam x e t n ghiem H IV . D a o nay sire k h o e cu a toi
cd ve k h o n g tot. T oi k h o n g tin rdng k et ban v& i m o t co g d i tn r & c
C H I/0 N G 8: Luyen thiic hanh th am van tam If | 443

day da titn g lam tiep vien nha han g lai co the lien q u a n den cdi
b$nh t h e k i dd.

N h a th a m van p h an tich m oi quan h<? gifta n h an thu’c - xu c

cam - h a n h vi tro n g cau noi cua th an chu:

D ap ufng l: A n h cam thay lo lang vi n g h i ng& m inh bj lay

nhiem H I V tit ngitcfi ban g d i titn g lam & nhd hang. D ieu anh
m uon la d i th it m du d e b ie t ro tinh trang s ite k h o e cua m inh.

D ap u n g 2: A n h cho rang ban g d i cua m in h bj n hiem H IV , vi

vay anh ca m thay lo scr m in h cu n g bi nhiem nhu" cd ay. D ieu anh
m uon la d i x e t n g h iem m du d e lam sd n g to tinh hinh s ite khoe
ciia m inh.

Luy$n cd c tinh h u o n g sau:

a. T h a n ch u noi: M e ch o n g tdi la n g itd i r a t to t tinh, cd chuy$n

gi khdng p h a i g iita vcf chon g tdi, tdi cu n g n d i v& i bd. D ip T et
vita rdi tdi cd ve q u e chon g, n ghe cd em d a u n d i ndi tdi m & i v& le
ra la bd ay ch a n g to t g i v&i tdi cd. C hu yen ch a n g d a u va o d a u bd
ay cu n g d em ve q u e k e cho ho hang. Tdi khd n g cdn m u o n nhin
m at bd ta n ita.
- D ap u n g i:

- D ap u n g 2:

b. T h an chu noi: C h im g cha u chcfi than v&i nhau tit k h i b a t dau

va o d a i hQC. C h a u c it n g h i chu y en v u i bu on ciia nd cu n g la
ch u y en ciia ch a u . T he m d vita roi tinh c& q u a m o t d ita ban
cu n g k h d n g tha n th ie t gi, cha u ditqfc b iet ban than ciia ch a u da
cd n g it& i y eu . M d bac cd b iet la a i k h d n g ? N g it& i dd ch in h la
n g it& i y eu cu ciia chau. X it s it n h it vay m d cu n g g o i la ban
than "con ch a y cd n d o i" a.
- D ap u n g l:

- D ap u n g 2:
444 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m li

c. T h a n chu: M o t v a i ngtfefi han g xo m n oi rd n g ch a u la co n nuoi

bo m e cha u. C h a u ra t y eu b o m e ch a u , n h tfn g ch a u cu n g m uon
b iet stf th a t la th e'n a o . M o i Tan cha u hdi bo m e, cd c cu c it gat
d i bao ch a u d itn g n g h e n gtf& i ta, d itn g n g h i v& van .
- D ap ufng 1:

- D ap u n g 2:

d. T h a n chu: C h a u y eu anh ay dd 4 n am nay, v ita rdi ch a u m&i

cd dfp ve q u e tha m m e vd em g d i an h ay. C h a u th a y ho rat
th a t tha, c h a tp h a c . S u o t n g a y hdm d o a n h a y lu dn ca u g a t me
vd em g d i, dii ho d a co g a n g ch ieu lo n g an h ay. C h a u dang
p h a n van k h i ch u n g ch a u ctf& i n hau rdi lieu a n h ay cd doi x it
v&i ch a u n h tf da doi x it v&i n h tfn g n g tf& i than y eu tro n g gia
d in h a n h ay k h d n g ?
- D ap u tig 1:

- D ap tin g 2:

d. T h a n chu: N g a y n ao d i h o c cha u cu n g p h a i d i q u a m o t con

h em r a t d d i & d o cd m o t bon d a u g a u ch u y e n tran lo t tien,
khd n g d tfa tien la ch im g nd d an h. B o ch a u bao neu ch im g nd
d a n h thi d a n h lai, m a y h o c vd d e la m gi.
- D ap u n g 1:

- D ap u n g 2:
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thi/c hanh th a m van tam If | 445

V. H OAT DONG THAM VAN

l. Tao m oi quan he tham van
- B$n se chao hoi mQt ngirdi lan dau tien mdri den phong
tham van ciia ban n h u th e nao?
- Bat tay - Cui chao
- Om vai

- H ay liet ke n h iin g con g v iec can lam trong b u o i tham van dau
tien: Vi d y: C h ao hoi; gid i th ieu v'e b an th an; gid i th ieu v e cO
quan; G id i th ieu v'e th am van.

- B^n ndi, hdi nhirng cau nhir th e nao de d an d at su" gid i th ieu v'e
th am van?
l .............................................................................................................................
2 .................................................................................................................
3 ........................ ......................................... ; ..... ................... .............•••••;............
- Ban ndi nhir th e n ao v'e tin h bao m at v a stf n go ai le de th a n chii
yen tam ch ia se ch u y en rien g tu1cua h(? (dira ra b a cach ndi k h a c
nh au )?
l ..............................................................................................................................
2 .......................................................................................................................
3

- N eu phai soan thao mQt h gp dong tham van thi ban dinh trinh
bay nhirng van d'e nao?
- Gidi thi?u bang cap, - Noi ve nguyen tic tham van,

2. X itli van de theo tinh huong sau

T h a n chii ke v d i n h a th am van: T oi cd mQt n g u d i b an hQe cu,

ch iin g tdi th a n th ie t vd i n h au tir nhi'eu n am nay. K hi cd ch u yen
vu i b u o n tdi d eu ta m sir vd i anh ay. Vira roi den cho anh a y ch o i,
cd la th ir bd n go tren b an , tin h cd n go vao tdi m d i b ie t la an h a y
va cd b an gai cu ciia tdi yeu nhau. Hq du1din h cu oi nam m d i cirdi.
Tdi vira g ia n v a vira lo cho anh ay. G ian vi anh ay g iau tdi ch u yen
hai ngird'i yen n h au . H oa ra tdi la th an g n goc trirdc ho. N h im g
dieu tdi lo ho'n ca la anh ay cd the bi bat han h neu yeu cd ay. Cd ta
 Giao trinh T h a m van tam li

la ngirdi ra n h k h o n , con b an toi l$i h ien la n h . T h e nao co ta cung

lira d oi anh n hir da tu n g lira doi toi. T o m l$i, th eo ch i to i p h ai lam
gi de b a n to i nh£n ra dtf<?c ch u yen nay.

Bw&c l : X ac djnh van de

Li?t ke nhung van d'e, nhung bieu hi?n tam li... va sap xep nhung
thong tin do theo cung mpt chu d'e ho$c xep vao cimg mpt nhom.

Bw&c 2: Liet ke cdc gidi phap co the thu’c hien

Viet ra tat ca cac giai phap ma hQ nghi co the dimg de giai quyet van de.

Bw&c 3: Liet ke cdc thuan lcfi vd bat lpi trong moi gidi phap.

Bw&c 4: Lwa chon gidi phap toi Wu

Viet ra cac giai phap it rui ro nhat, giai phap tot hon ca. Can nhac
tinh kha thi cua cac giai phap.

Bw&c 5: Dwa ra nhwng yeu cdn cdn trey giup de gidi quyet van de

Bw&c 6: Lwang gid

Sira doi hay bo sung cho m yc tieu giai quyet van d'e cua ca nhan
dirpc hoan thanh.
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thiic hanh th am van tam If 447

3. M gt so ggi y ve cach bay to ciia nhd tham van de

tranh s\t 1$ thugc cua than chu vdo nhd tham van
Trong trtfcmg hQp than chu the hi£n stf 1<? th u oc vao nha tham
van khi vigc giai quyet van d'e cua ho, nha tham van xtf li nhtf the nao?

Sau d ay la nhtfng vi du v'e cac cach noi k h a c n h au cu a nha

th am van . N h tfn g cau noi n ay chi la nhtfng goi y nho co y n ghia
th am kh a o cu a ch u n g toi, dtfa tren nhtfng trai n gh iem thtfc te
m an g tin h ca n h an m a k h o n g co y dan dat. T u v va o hoan canh va
mu’c do 1<? th u o c k h a c nhau cua th an chu vao nha th am van m a
ch u n g ta co th e cat n h a c Itfa chon cach noi ch o p h u hop. C h u n g ta
co th e th a y d oi v a p h a t trien nhi'eu h o n ntfa cac cach noi k h ac
nhau cho p h u hop v d i k in h n ghiem giao tiep cu a m in h va stf phu
h o p vofi v a n h o a , loi so n g va tin h h u o n g th a m van cua th an chu.

1. A n h ch j d en d a y n h am tim kiem 1 lcfi k h u yen de cai thi<?n

h oan can h h i?n tai cu a m inh. T u y n h ien ld i k h u y e n cu a to i chi
phu hop vofi k in h n g h iem son g cua toi. V i vay, no chi co y nghia
th am kh a o ch o an h / chi m a thoi. Trtfcm g hop cu a an h chi...

2. T o i b ie t m o t tro n g nhtfng li do m a an h chj tim den dich vu

cua ch u n g to i la h y v o n g se co dtfOc nhtfng lofi k h u y e n b o ich. T u y
nhien stf tin ttfd n g v a o tiem n an g cua k h a ch h a n g tro n g vi£c ttf
giai q u y et v a n de cu a h o la n gu yen t i c cua th a m van . V i v a y to i se
k h o n g dtfa ra lofi k h u y en , m a se cu n g vcfi a n h /ch i can n h a c tu n g
giai p h ap m a an h /ch i de cap den.

3. T rtfd c kh i a n h /ch i n oi v'e van de cu a m in h , a n h /ch i can b iet

ran g ch u n g toi chi la ngtfdi cu n g ch ia se, g iu p d d a n h /ch i giai
q u yet van de cu a m in h , m a k h o n g cho ld i k h u y e n h a y giai quyet
th ay. C h u n g to i se co g an g toi da kh a n a n g cu a m in h , n h tfn g cong
vigc tien trie n d tfg c n h ieu h a y it phu th u o c rat nhi'eu va o stf co
g a n g cu a an h /ch i.

4. C am On an h chi vi da d at n iem tin va o toi. T u y n h ien chi co

a n h /ch i m d i h ieu ro n gon n gan h van de cu a m in h . V i v | y giai
p h ap cho v a n de cu a anh chi se k h o n g ai k h a c n go ai an h chi. T oi
se h o tr g de a n h / ch i dgt d tfgc m y c tieu th am va n cu a m in h .

5. T o i se cu n g chi p h an tich nhtfng m at m an h , m at yeu cua

tim g giai p h a p , con Itfa ch on giai p h ap v a thtfc h i?n no nhtf the
448 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m li

nao la q u yet d in h cu a anh chj. T oi se d o n g h a n h c u n g ch j tron g

su ot qua trin h n a y de cho van d'e cua chi d tfg c giai q u y et to t nhat
tro n g k h a n a n g ch o phep.

6. T h a t k h o k h a n de du’a ra d tfgc m ot q u y et d in h d u n g dan

tro n g h oan can h co q u a nhi'eu stf ki£n n htf th e nay. T u y nhien
kh o n g ai co th e dtfa ra q u yet din h th a y a n h /ch i dtfOc. Chi co
an h /ch i la ngtfdi h ieu ro m in h thtfc stf m o n g m u o n d ieu gi. T oi tin
ttfd n g vao k h a n a n g cu a an h /ch i. B ay g id ch u n g ta se x em xet cy
the tim g va n d'e.

7. T h o n g tin to i dtfa ra cho anh chi chi cd y n g h ia g iu p anh chi

th am k h a o trtfd c khi co q u yet din h ch o van d'e ciia m in h, no
kh o n g n h a m g o i y de anh chi lam theo.

8. N h tf toi da noi b an dau v'e b an ch at cua vi£c tr g giu p , toi

chi d o n g y th a m van cho nhtfng ngtfdi m a ho cam ket ttf giai
q u y et va n de cu a m in h dtfdi stf g iu p d d ciia toi. C u o c th a m van
cua ch u n g ta cd th e se roi va o b e t i c neu chi q u a tro n g ch d vao
cac q u yet d in h tir b en ngoai.

9. C hi da d tfg c gid i th ieu v'e dich vu th a m va n v a q u y trin h

lam th a m van ciia toi. Se la vi p h am d ao du’c ngh'e th a m van neu
toi th a y chi q u y et d in h cac van d'e ciia chi.

10. G iu p a n h /ch i h ieu ro can n g u yen cu a va n d'e d a n g gap

phai va xac d in h d tfgc cac cach cai th ign tin h h u o n g la m u c dich
h o a t d o n g ciia tru n g tam . V i v a y to i k h o n g d tfg c ttf m in h giai
q u yet cac van d'e cu a chi, n g a y ca kh i chi de nghi.

11. Cd th e a n h /ch i d an g roi b d i vi cd q u a nhi'eu ca m x u c ap

den nen a n h /ch i k h o n g con tin ttfd ng va o b a n th a n tro n g vi£c dtfa
ra cac q u yet d in h cho m in h. T u y n h ien va i trd ciia a n h / ch i tro n g
v a n de n a y la vo cim g q u an trgn g. Tdi tin vao k h a n a n g ttf dtfOng
d'au trtfdc cac kh o k h a n ciia an h /ch i. C h u n g to i d d a y la de g iu p
a n h /ch i p h an tich va dtfa ra d tfg c cac giai p h a p sa n g su o t m a
a n h /ch i co th e thtfc thi d tfgc tro n g h oan canh nay.

12. N h a th a m va n k h o n g phai la ngtfdi q u yet d in h a n h /ch j

nen lam gi va lam n h tf the nao. T oi chi la ngtfdi g iu p a n h / ch j san g
to van d'e d an g x a y ra vd i an h /ch j. C hin h a n h /ch j la n gtfdi q u vet
d jn h lam gi va lam n htf the nao. B av g id ch im g ta se ndi ve ...
C H U O N G 8: Luyen thiic hanh th am van tam If 449

13. C h u n g ta da lam san g to d u g c nhi'eu va n d'e cua anh/chj.

Toi nh£n th a y an h /ch j co kh a nang ttf giai q u yet van d'e cua m inh
hon la ch d d g i vao y kien cua toi. M on g an h /ch j hieu cho rang,
vigc d$t qua nhi'eu niem tin vao ngUcfi k h ac se lam an h /ch j m at di
kha nang ty" d an h gia van d'e cua m inh, m gt kh a n an g m a kh on g
phai ai cu n g co d u g c.
14. T oi b iet th£t kh o n g de dan g de q uyet djn h ch in h xac m inh
phai lam gi tro n g h oan canh nay. T oi hi v g n g m gt n gu d i co y chi
va dam doi m at vcfi van d'e n h u an h/chj giai q u yet tot van d'e cua
m inh. C h u n g ta se cu n g nhau xem xet cac giai p h ap m a anh chj
h u d n g den. Y a n h /ch j la gi khi n o i .....
15. A n h chj da ch ia se chan thanh vcfi toi n h u n g va n d'e te nhj,
tham kin cua m in h, tu t la anh chj da tin tu d n g vao toi. T u y nhien
m y c dich cu a cac cuqc th am van la giu p k h a ch h a n g n h an ra van
d'e cua m in h va d u o n g d'au tot vcfi no. V i th e, ch u n g to i k h o n g the
quyet djn h th a y cho anh chj dugc.
16. T oi h y v g n g s y h g p tac cua toi se g iu p a n h /ch j co n h im g
ch uyen b ien d an g ke tro n g vigc can n M c cac giai p h ap vd i n h im g
q uyet djnh d u g c d u a ra tu1ch inh an h/chj.
17. C h u n g ta chi lam vigc vd i nhau tro n g m g t k h o a n g th d i
gian nhat djnh. V i v£y cac van d'e cua a n h /ch j p h ai x u a t p h at tu1
quyet d jn h cu a ch in h an h/chj. Y toi la a n h /ch j da co y tu d n g gi
m di de giai q u yet ch uygn ....
18. T h d i gian qua, an h /ch j da co n h u n g b u d c di k h a q u an
tron g nhin n h gn van d'e cua m inh. H y v g n g a n h /ch i lam vig c chii
d gn g h o n de co th e t y m inh giai quyet dut d iem ch u yg n lien quan
td i Y cu a to i la, anh chj se lam gi n e u .......
19. C ac n g u ye n t i c th am van da chi ro la n ha th a m va n k h o n g
chju trach n h igm v e h an h vi cua kh ach h an g. V i vav, toi se giu p
a n h /ch j p h at trie n m gt so ki n ang de an h /ch j u ng d u n g giai quyet
van d'e ciia m inh.
20. Di'eu toi s i p noi chi la giai phap ciia n g u d i n goai, toi dua
ra de a n h /ch j th a m kh ao. T oi tin tu d n g vao k h a n an g tu quyet
d jnh ciia a n h /ch j. Di'eu n ay co nghia la anh chj se ch ia se vd i toi
n h u n g giai p h a p ciia an h /ch j de ch u n g ta cu n g nhau can n h ic .
M g t so n g u d i tro n g h oan canh ciia anh chj hg d a .....
450 Giao trinh T h a m van ta m li

21. Khi anh chi th y c su1doi pho dtfgfc van d'e cua m in h m a kh on g
can tdi stf trgf giup ben ngoai thi coi n h u m y c tieu th am van da
thanh cong. V i v a y toi luon trong d yi kh a nang t y ra quyet djnh cua
anh chi. V e van d 'e ......anh/chi dinh giai quyet nhtf the nao?

4. Phan tich cdc ki nang dittfc sit dung trong doan tham
van duoi day

- Nha tham van: Doc ho scf cua em cd thay em thich nghe nau an.
Tuy nhien bay gid em lai dang hoc IPp buong phdng. Em cam
thay the nao ve dieu nay?
- Than chu: Em cam thay rat buon vi em khong dtfpc hoc nghe
md em thich.
- Nha tham van: Bay gid em mong muon dieu gi?
- Than chu: Em mong se dtfpc thay ddi nghe em dang hoc,
chuyen tit ldp buong phdng sang ldp nau an chau A.
- N ha tham van: Em nghi minh cd the chuyen dtfpc khdng? Em
dd lam gi d eth a y ddi nd?
- Than chu: Em khdng biet, em chtfa lam gi cd.
- N ha tham van: N goai viec mong muon chuyen sang ldp nau
mon an chau A thi em cdn mong muon dieu gi ntfa?
- Than chu: Em mong muon lam dtfpc dieu phu hpp.
- N ha tham van: Dieu phu hpp md em muon lam la gi?
- Than chu: Em muon nau an trd thanh dau bep.
- N ha tham van: Em cho rdng trd thanh dau bep vd dtfpc nau an
la dieu phu hpp vdi em?
- Than chu: Vdng a.
- N ha tham van: Em cd hay na'u an khdng?
- Than chu: Cd a, d nhd em rat hay nau an, mdi ngay hai Fan cdn
btfa sdng thi khdng.
- Nha tham van: Dtfdng nhtf em la dau bep trong gia dinh. moi
ngtfdi danh gid em nau an nhtf the'nao?
- Than chu: Cimg dtfpc a.

(N T D , K 49, trich b ao cao thtfc tap th a m van , 200~)

 TAI LIEU THAM KHAO

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