Charlie Bumpers vs.

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Bill Harley
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 vs.
THE
PERFECT LITTLE
TURKEY
 vs.
THE
PERFECT LITTLE
TURKEY

Bill Harley
Illustrated by Adam Gustavson
Published by
PEACHTREE PUBLISHERS
1700 Chattahoochee Avenue
Atlanta, Georgia 30318-2112
www.peachtree-online.com

Text © 2015 by Bill Harley

Illustrations © 2015 by Adam Gustavson

First trade paperback edition published in 2016

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy,
recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior
permission of the publisher.

Edited by Vicky Holifield

Design by Nicola Simmonds Carmack
Composition by Melanie McMahon Ives
The illustrations were rendered in India ink and watercolor.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Harley, Bill, 1954-
Charlie Bumpers vs. the Perfect Little Turkey / by Bill Harley ; illustrated by Adam Gustavson.
pages cm
978-1-56145-764-9 (ebook)
Summary: “It’s Thanksgiving in the Bumpers household and Charlie has to be the perfect
host to his annoying little cousin, Chip”— Provided by publisher.
[1. Thanksgiving Day—Fiction. 2. Family life—Fiction. 3. Cousins—Fiction. 4. Humorous
stories.] I. Gustavson, Adam, illustrator. II. Title. III. Title: Charlie Bumpers versus the Perfect
Little Turkey.
PZ7.H22655Cf 2015

[Fic]—dc23 2015006621
 This book is dedicated with gratitude to
Roberta and Willard Block
for their support and love over the years.
And for all the Thanksgiving dinners, too.

Special thanks to Jane Murphy and Kassie Randall

for their careful reading; David McConville
for discussions about turkey psychology;
Althea Gunning, Gary Gunning, Richard Gunning,
Vince Fleming, and Dennis Langley
for their input on Jamaican speech; and as always—
to Vicky Holifield for her fine editing
and Debbie Block for everything else.
 Contents
1—Holy Moly! 1
2—Fooled Again 11
3—Sometimes Grown-ups Are Completely 16
Clueless
4—My Dumb Family 24
5—A Special Assignment 32
6—Already Driving Me Bonkers 42
7—The Loudest Whistle in the World 58
8—Rocket Propulsion 66
9—A Long Day 75
10—Extremely Tired of Waiting 83
11—A Rocket? On T’anksgiving? 95
12—Steam Coming Out of Her Ears 105
13—We Are Ever Vigilant 112
14—What on Earth Do You Think You’re 117
Doing?
15—You Mean P-a-i-n 129
16—B-A-R-P-H 141
17—Whoops! 154
 1
Holy Moly

Bumpers passes the ball up the field! The wing passes it

back to Bumpers! He takes the ball on the run and puts it
between the defender’s legs. Unbelievable! The defender loses
his shorts!
Bumpers on the left. He sees an open man! A perfect
looping pass! This kid is only in fourth grade, but no one can
stop him!
It comes back to Bumpers! The goalkeeper comes out!
Bumpers lets go! A huge foot!
BAM!
 Goal! Goal! Goooooaaaaaal! The crowd goes wild!
Bumpers pumps his fist. They win the championship! Bumpers
kicks the ball into the crowd!
BAM!
He rips off his shirt and throws it to the fans!

I’m not supposed to kick the ball against the

garage door because once I broke one of those little
windows across the top. But that was a year ago, and
I’m a lot better at kicking now. Anyway, Mom was
out grocery shopping and Dad was in the basement.
Charlie Bumpers, ace striker, was safe.
I danced around and pumped my arms in the air,
celebrating my victory.
Matt, my older brother, stuck his head out the
back door. “Hey, genius!” he called. “You’re not
supposed to kick the ball against the garage.”
“I’m not hurting anything,” I said.
“You’re going to get caught,” he warned, “and I
won’t defend you.”
“Thanks!” I yelled.

2
 “What a turkey,” he said, then went back inside.
“You’re the turkey!” I yelled, just as my little
sister Mabel stepped out onto the back porch. My
dad calls her “Squirt,” but I call her “the Squid.” It’s
funnier.
“I’m not a turkey,” she said. “And your shirt is
on the roof.”
I looked up, and there it was, hanging off the
edge. I kicked the ball again.
BAM!
“I’m telling!” the Squid yelled.
Just then, Mom pulled in the driveway.
I started dribbling the soccer ball between my
feet, like I hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Charlie’s kicking the ball against the door!” the
Squid shouted as Mom turned off the motor. “And
he’s not wearing his shirt!”
What a traitor!
I grabbed the rake leaning by the garage door
and snagged my shirt off the roof.
I put it on just as Mom got out of the car. “Your

3
dad and I told you not to kick the ball at the garage
door,” she said, frowning. “Please come help me
with the groceries.”
I gave the Squid a dirty look and kicked the ball
against the garage one more time, but not as hard.
BAM!
“Charlie!” Mom shouted.
“He’s kicking the b-a-l-l,” my sister said.
The Squid had just learned to read, and she’d
started spelling everything out like she was a human
dictionary.
I lifted two of
the heavy grocery
bags out of the trunk
and followed Mom up
the back steps into the
kitchen. She’d bought
tons of food for
T ha n ksg iv i n g
dinner.

4
 There are lots of good things about Thanksgiv-
ing. Like no school. And my grandparents coming.
And the stuffing my mom makes. And the rolls my
grandmother always brings, which are the absolute
best food on the planet. But this year was going to
be even better because on Thanksgiving evening a
Buck Meson special was showing on TV.
Buck Meson, Detective from Andromeda, is
my absolute favorite superhero. He has his own TV
show and he’s got this electron stare that paralyzes
bad guys in their place so they can’t move.
I know he’s not real, but he should be. That
would mean electron stares are real, and I would
have many uses for them. Like paralyzing brothers
and sisters.
When Mom and I had finished unloading the
groceries from the car, our dog Ginger sniffed at the
bags we’d left on the floor, looking for something
to eat. Dad came up from the basement. “Wow,” he
said, looking at all the overflowing bags. “Is there
anything left at the supermarket?”

5
 “I asked Mrs. Walcott if she wanted to come for
Thanksgiving,” Mom said, ignoring my dad’s joke.
“She’s going to be alone, so I thought it would be
nice.”
My mom’s a visiting nurse. She goes to people’s
homes if they can’t get to the doctor’s office. Mrs.
Walcott has been one of her patients a long time,
and I’ve even visited her house with my mom.
“Uh-oh,” Dad said.
“What?” Mom asked.
“Well, I thought we were going to invite the
Gritzbachs this year.”
Oh no, I thought. Not the Gritzbachs! Mr. and Mrs.
Gritzbach are our neighbors. Mr. Gritzbach’s kind
of grumpy and can’t stand our dog Ginger.
“I know,” Mom said, “but I decided to ask Mrs.
Walcott instead. She’ll be completely alone if we
don’t have her over here.”
“Hmmm.” Dad looked worried. “I just invited
the Gritzbachs.”
“Oh jeez, Jim! Why didn’t you tell me?”

6
 “I’m sorry. I ran into them while I was taking
a walk this morning,” Dad said. “Their son is
spending the holiday with his wife’s family, so
they were going to be by themselves.”
“What are we going to do?” Mom asked.
“Well, I don’t think we can disinvite them,”
he said.
“Of course not. But where are we going to
put everybody?” Mom grabbed the notepad and
pencil we keep by the phone and sat down at the
kitchen table.
She started making a list of everyone who was
coming. There was our family, which included
my mom and dad, me, Matt, and the Squid. Then
there were my mom’s parents, Pops and Gams.
“Don’t forget the Gritzbachs,” Dad said.
“And Mrs. Walcott,” I added.
“And Sarah and Brandon and Chip,” Mom
said. “And Tilly.”
Brandon and Sarah are my uncle and aunt.
My cousin Chip is a year older than the Squid

7
and two years younger than me, and he can be
extremely annoying. Especially to me. Tilly’s his
new baby sister. Her real name is Matilda.
“Holy moly,” Mom said. “That makes fourteen
people.”
“Wow,” Dad said. “I hope you bought a really
big turkey.”
“Turkey begins with a t,” the Squid explained to
everyone.
Dad’s phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket
and looked at the screen. “It’s Ron,” he said, walking
out of the kitchen. “I’d better answer.”
Ron’s my dad’s brother. Uncle Ron is the greatest.
“I wonder if we’ll have enough food?” Mom said.
“Maybe I should bake an extra pie.” She scribbled
some notes on the piece of paper while the Squid
looked over her shoulder, trying to read the words.
“Mom, you don’t write very neatly,” the Squid
observed.
Dad came back in the kitchen. “Guess what.”
“What?” Mom asked.

8
 “Ron broke up with his girlfriend, and he doesn’t
have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving.” Dad paused.
“And?” Mom asked.
“I invited him here,” Dad said with a guilty look
on his face. “I had to.”
“You think he wants to stay for the entire
weekend?” she asked.
“Probably.”
I love Uncle Ron, but I know he kind of drives
Mom crazy. Once when he was here for a few days,
I heard her tell my dad it was like having another kid
in the house.
I didn’t see anything wrong with having another
kid in the house. If it was Uncle Ron.
Matt walked in. “What’s going on?”
“We’re having fifteen people for Thanksgiving,”
I said.
“No way!” Matt chortled. “That’s a lot.”
The Squid was still peering over Mom’s shoulder,
looking at the pad of paper. “I see the number 15,”
she said. “But what’s that?” She pointed at something

9
on the paper. “Those squiggly letters right there.
What do they say?”
Mom didn’t answer. Matt looked over Mom’s
other shoulder and started to laugh.
“What’s it say? What’s it say?” the Squid squeaked,
which she does when she gets excited.
Matt laughed. “It says, ‘too many!’”
“You got that right,” Dad agreed.
Personally, I could think of one easy way to
shorten the guest list: Have my cousin Chip stay
home.

10
 2
Fooled Again

Monday morning Mrs. Burke, my fourth grade

teacher, handed out dictionaries so we could look
up the definitions of the ten words she’d written
on the board. They all had something to do with
Thanksgiving. You know, words like “gratitude,”
“holiday,” and “pilgrim.” When we were finished,
she said, “Now, for your homework assignment.”
Somebody groaned.
“Yes,” Mrs. Burke said, “it is time for all of the
citizens in Mrs. Burke’s Empire to do their duty
cheerfully—or suffer the consequences.”
 Mrs. Burke talks like that all the time. It’s her
way of being funny.
Ha ha ha.
“Tonight,” she went on, “you are to write your
own definition for a particular word. The word is
‘family.’”
“That’s easy!” Sam Marchand blurted out.
POW!
Mrs. Burke snapped her exploding fingers. She
has the loudest fingers on planet Earth. In Mrs.
Burke’s Empire, you’re supposed to raise your hand
before you speak.
“Sorry,” Sam said.
“Okay then, Sam. What is a family?” she asked.
“Your mom and dad and sisters and brothers,”
Sam answered.
“What about grandparents?” Mrs. Burke asked.
“Well, yeah,” Sam said. “Them, too.”
Alex MacLeod had his hand raised. Mrs. Burke
called on him.
“I don’t have any
brothers or sisters,”
12
Alex said. “So they’re not in my family.”
Josh Little put up his hand.
“Yes, Josh?” Mrs. Burke said.
“Aunts and uncles…and cousins.”
“Oooh, oooh, oooh!” Samantha Grunsky, who
sits behind me, waved her hand in the air like she
was going to die if someone didn’t call on her.
“Go ahead, Samantha,” Mrs. Burke said.
“Don’t injure yourself.”
Samantha cleared her throat in her
bossy way. “In science, a
family is a group of species
that have something in
common.”
Samantha Grunsky
always seems to
know everything,
and she’s happy
to remind you
of that.
 “Yes, Samantha, that is one definition of family.”
“Wait!” Joey Alvarez called out.
Mrs. Burke held her fingers up to snap them, but
Joey quickly raised his hand.
“Um…what if you’ve got pets?” he asked. “Aren’t
they in your family?”
Mrs. Burke smiled. “What do you think, class?”
Everyone started shouting out their opinions.
Mrs. Burke let us argue for a while, then—POW!—
she let go with another one of her deafening finger
snaps.
Mrs. Burke called on Ellen Holmes next.
“A lot of kids live with just one parent,” Ellen
said. “And what about my friend who lives with one
parent part of the time and the other parent the rest
of the time?”
We all started arguing again. Finally Mrs. Burke
called out, “That’s enough, class. It sounds like
there are a lot of different ways to describe a family.
So tonight, I’d like you to come up with your own

14
definition. And I want you to be prepared to
defend it in class tomorrow.”
Mrs. Burke was sneaky. She’d fooled us again.
She had gotten all of us interested in something,
and now we had to write about it. What a horrible
way to ruin a perfectly good learning experience.

15
 3
Sometimes Grown-ups Are
Completely Clueless
That night at dinner, each of us shared something
that had happened that day. The Squid told how
this girl in her class lost her tooth at home but it
fell down the sink and her parents had to call the
emergency plumber to save the tooth so she could
put it under her pillow for the tooth fairy.
“That’s a very expensive tooth,” Dad observed.
“But Tanya only gets a dollar,” the Squid said.
“A lot less than the emergency plumber,” Dad
said. “Well, Matt. Any big news to report?”
Matt told about this kid named Thad in his
English class who did a presentation about an
author. Thad had dressed up like the author and
pretended to be him. Then, in the middle of the
presentation, he’d fallen over, twitched a few times,
and pretended to die right on the classroom floor.
“Mrs. Cummings ran over and asked him if he was
okay,” Matt said. “Thad sat up and told her that the
author had died very young. It was brilliant!”
“I guess it’s dangerous being an author,” Dad
said. “What about you, Charlie?”
“Today in class we had to look up definitions for
a bunch of words. For homework, I have to write a
definition of the word ‘family.’”
“I assume you will describe your excellent older
brother,” Matt said.
“Ha ha ha,” I said.
“I’m in your family,” the Squid announced.
“Family: f-a-m…” She looked over at Mom.
“The next letter is i,” Mom prompted.
“That’s what I was going to say,” the Squid
declared. “Family: f-a-m-l-i-y.”

17
 “Close enough,” Dad said.
“That reminds me,” Mom said. “With so many
people coming for Thanksgiving, our whole family
is going to have to work together.”
“Your mom’s right,” Dad added. “It’s our job
to be good hosts, so I expect everyone here to be
helpful…and flexible.”
“Of course,” Matt said. “Flexible is my middle
name.”
“Your middle name is Arthur,” the Squid said.
“Don’t remind me,” Matt said.
“And that brings me to the next point,” Mom
went on. “Aunt Sarah and Uncle Brandon and Tilly
are going to stay at the Village Inn with Pops and
Gams. But they’d like Chip to stay here.”
She paused for a second and gave me a little
smile.
I didn’t like that little smile. It meant something.
“Chip’s a very nice boy,” Mom said. “And I think
he’s grown up a lot. Sarah says his teacher calls him
‘the perfect little gentleman.’”

18
 Perfect little turkey, I said to myself. Even though
the adults don’t seem to realize it, Chip is a turkey.
His real name is Brandon, but that’s also his dad’s
name, so everyone calls him “Chip.” He’s a giant
pest. Last summer we spent three days with their
family at a lake house, and every time I turned
around he was right there, buzzing around like
a little gnat, telling me what to do, and saying he
could do it better. Even though he couldn’t.
I had tried to be nice to him, but it’s hard to be
nice to someone who drives you bonkers. My mom
told me he followed me around because he wanted
to be just like me, and said I should be patient.
Sometimes grown-ups are completely clueless.
Even mothers.
“So, he’s going to have to sleep in someone’s
room,” Mom said.
“He could sleep on the fold-out couch,” I
suggested. The family room was a long way from
my room.

19
 “I think Uncle Ron will be sleeping on the
couch,” Dad said.
Mom opened her mouth, but didn’t say anything.
“Maybe he can stay with Mabel,” I said, “since
he’s closest to her age.”
“He can’t,” the Squid said. “My room’s too
small.”
“What about Matt, then?” I asked. “He has the
biggest room.”
“I need all that room for my brain,” Matt said.
“I think he should stay with you, Charlie. He always
follows you around anyway.”
“There’s no bed for him,” I said.
“We’ll bring in the inflatable mattress,” Mom
said. “Just like when Tommy sleeps over.”
“But he’s my friend!” I said. “Chip is different.”
“Chip’ll take up less space than Tommy,” Matt
said. “You’ll barely notice he’s there.” He gave me
his classic evil older brother grin. He knew Chip
drove me crazy.
“He’ll mess everything up!” I protested.

20
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
Gryllacrides, 329
Gryllidae, 201, 330-340, 340
Gryllides, 340
Gryllotalpa, 332;
dorsal vessel, 134;
Malpighian tubes, 127;
tracheal system, 132
Gryllotalpides, 340
Gryllus, head, 93;
G. campestris, 332, 339;
G. domesticus, 330, 338
Guilding on Ulula, 461
Gula, 88, 93
Gyri cerebrales, 119
Gyropus, 350

Haase on abdominal appendages, 189, 192

Haemocoele, 22, 23
Hagen, on segments, 88;
on wing-rudiments, 395;
on respiration of immature dragon-fly, 423 f.;
on larvae of Ascalaphides, 460;
on amber Psocidae, 397;
on Platephemera, 428;
on Perlidae, 401;
on Psocidae, 393 f.;
on Termites, 360 f.
Haldmanella, 308
Halesus guttatipennis, 473
Haliday on Bethylus, 535
Halobates, 83
Halteres, 108
Hansen on Hemimerus, 217
Haplogenius, 461
Haplophlebium, 345
Haplopus grayi, egg, 265
Harpagides, 259
Harpalus caliginosus, head, 92
Harpax ocellata, 253;
H. variegatus, 244
Harrington on Oryssus, 507
Harris on Katydids' music, 320
Hart on forms of Atta, 501
Hartig on gall-flies, 530
Harvesting Termites, 383
Harvey on metamorphosis, 168
Hatchett Jackson on ecdysis, 162;
on oviduct of Lepidoptera, 139
Haustellata, 94
Haustellum, 476
Haviland on Termites, 368, 373, 384
Hawaiian Islands, 354, 395, 425, 471
Head, 92-94
Heart, 133
Heat, 131
Helicomitus insimulans, 460, 461
Helicopsyche shuttleworthi, cases of, 482
Hellgrammites, 447
Helorus anomalipes, 534
Hemerobiidae, 453 f.
Hemerobiides, 465 f.
Hemerobiina, 467, 472
Hemerobius larva, 467
Hemichroa rufa, 498
Hemimeridae, 201, 217
Hemimerus hanseni, 217;
foetus of, 218;
H. talpoides, 218
Hemimetabola, 158
Hemiptera, 173
Hemiteles, 556
Henking on embryology, 146
Henneguy on egg-capsule of Phyllium, 271;
on embryology of Smicra, 545
Heptagenia, 440;
H. longicauda, 437
Hessian-fly, parasites, 537
Heterogamia, 222;
H. aegyptiaca, 220;
egg-capsule, 229
Heterometabola, 158
Heteromorpha, 158
Heterophlebia dislocata, 427
Heteropteryx grayi, 262
Hetrodides, 329
Hexapoda, 86
Heymons on earwig embryology, 216
Hind body, 109
Hind wings absent, 429
Histoblasts, 167
Histogenesis, 165
Histolysis, 165, 166
Hodotermes japonicus, 383;
H. havilandi, 384;
H. mossambicus, 356;
H. brunneicornis, 359;
H. quadricollis, 371
Hoffbauer on elytra, 108
Holocampsa, misprint—see Holocompsa
Holocompsa, 226, 235
Holometabola, 158
Holophthalmi, 459
Homomorpha, 158
Hooks for wings, 494
Hoplolopha, 303
Hose, 393
Howard, on pupation of Chalcididae, 550;
on Hydropsyche, 483
Hubbard and Hagen on Termites, 388
Humboldt, 31
Humpback, 445
Huxley, on head, 87;
on cervical sclerites, 99
Hydropsyche, 479
Hydropsychides, 482;
larva, 483
Hydroptila angustella, 474;
H. maclachlani, larva, 484
Hydroptilides, 484
Hylotoma rosae, 513
Hymenoptera, 173, 487-565
Hymenoptera phytophaga, 503 f.
Hymenopus bicornis, 253
Hyperetes, 395, 397
Hypermetamorphosis, 158, 159, 465, 540, 552, 557
Hyperparasitism, 521
Hypertely, 323
Hypnorna amoena, 234
Hypoblast, 65, 149
Hypocephalus, 99
Hypochrysa, 470
Hypodermis, 162, 480
Hypoglottis, 96
Hyponomeuta cognatella, parasite of, 545
Hypopharynx, 96
—see also Lingua

Ichneumones adsciti, 559

Ichneumon-flies, 265, 551;
uninjurious, 264;
supplementary, 558
Ichneumonidae, 551-558
Ichneumonides, 557
Ictinus, 419
Imaginal, discs, 165, 166;
folds, 165
Imago, 157
Imbrications, 493
Imhof on Perla, 403 f.
Inaequipalpia, 480
Indusial limestone, 485
Infra-oesophageal ganglion, 117
Inner margin of wing, 108
Inocellia, 447
Inquilines, 373, 524, 531, 533
Insecta, definition, 86
Instar, 155, 158
Instinct of Leucospis, 541
Integument, 162
Internal anatomy, 186 f.;
of Acridiidae, 282 f.;
of earwigs, 210;
of Gryllotalpa, 335;
of Hymenoptera, 494;
of Libellula, 414;
of Mantidae, 246;
of Myrmeleon larva, 457, 458;
of Odonata, 414;
of Stilopyga orientalis, 228;
of Phasmidae, 262;
of Raphidia, 448;
of Sialis larva, 446;
of Thysanura, 187 f.
Intestine, 114, 124
Involucrum alarum, 206
Iris oratoria, 248
Isogenus nubecula, 405, 406
Isopteryx, 400
Isosoma, 546
Isotoma, 190

Jamaica, 388
Japygidae, 184
Japyx, abdomen of, 109;
J. solifugus, 184, 196
Jhering, Von, on Termites, 387
Joint, 105
Joint-worms, 546
Joly, on Ephemeridae, 431;
on anatomy of Phyllium, 262
Julidae, 34, 43, 71, 73, 77
Julopsis, 74
Julus, 36-39, 52;
J. nemorensis, 43;
J. terrestris, 37, 70, 77;
breeding, 37;
development, 66-69;
heart, 50;
ovum, 63, 64;
eye, 69
Jurassic, 216, 259, 407, 442
Jurine on pieces at base of wing, 102

Kampecaris, 76
Karabidion, 274
Katydids, 319, 320
King, 361, 378
Klapálek, on Trichopterous larvae, 484 f.;
on Agriotypus, 557
Knee, 104
Koch, 42
Koestler on stomatogastric nerves, 120
Kolbe, on entothorax, 103;
on wings of Psocidae, 394
Kollar on Sirex, 509
Korotneff on embryology of Gryllotalpa, 336
Korschelt on egg-tubes, 138
Korschelt and Heider on regenerative tissue, 167
Kowalevsky, on phagocytes, 166;
on regenerative tissue, 167;
on bee embryo, 496
Kradibia cowani, 549
Krancher on stigmata, 111
Krawkow on chitin, 162
Kulagin, on embryology, 537;
of Encyrtus, 545
Künckel d'Herculais, on histoblasts, 167;
on emergence of Stauronotus, 290
Labia minor, 214
Labidura riparia, 210, 211, 214, 215
Labium, 95;
of Odonata, 410, 411;
of O. larva, 420
Laboulbène, on Anurida maritima, 194;
on Perla, 399
Labrum, 93, 93
Lacewing flies, 453, 469
Lachesilla, 395
Lacinia, 95
Laemobothrium, 347
Lamarck, 77
Lamina, subgenitalis, 224;
supra-analis, 224
Landois on stigmata, 111
Languette, 96
Lankester, 40
Larva, 157;
(resting-larva), 164;
oldest, 449
Larvule, 431, 432
Latreille, 30
Latreille's segment, 491
Latzel, 42, 77
Leach, 30, 77
Lead, eating, 510
Leaf-Insects, 260
Legs, 104;
internal, 496;
four only, 549;
of larvae, 106, 110
Lendenfeld, on dragon-flies, 416, 417;
on muscles of dragon-fly, 115
Lens, 98
Lepidoptera, 173
Lepisma, 185, 196;
 L. saccharina, 186;
L. niveo-fasciata, 195
Lepismidae, 185
Leptocerides, 482
Leptophlebia cupida, 430
Lespès on Calotermes, 364
Leuckart on micropyle apparatus, 145
Leucocytes, 137
Leucospis gigas, 540;
larva, egg, 542;
habits, 540 f.
Lewis, Geo., on luminous may-fly, 442
Lewis on Perga, 518
Leydig, on brain, 119, 120;
on Malpighian tubes of Gryllotalpa, 335;
on ovaries, 137, 142;
on glands, 142
Lias, 216, 239, 340, 427, 428, 453, 485, 503
Libellago caligata, 413
Libellula quadrimaculata, 411, 425
Libellulidae, 409
Libellulinae, 416, 426
Lichens, resemblance to, 253
Liénard on oesophageal ring, 118
Light, attraction of, 441
Ligula, 96
Lilies and dragon-flies, 426
Limacodes egg, 153
Limnophilides, 481
Lingua, 95, 96, 391, 411, 420, 437
Linnaeus quoted, 84
Liotheides, 346, 350
Lipeurus heterographus, 346;
L. bacillus, 347;
L. ternatus, 349
Lipura burmeisteri, 190;
L. maritima, 194
Lipuridae, 190
Liquid emitted, 264, 324, 399, 515
Lissonota setosa, 551
Lithobiidae, 45, 70, 75
Lithobius, 32, 36-39, 41, 45, 58;
breeding, 38;
structure, 48, 49, 57
Lithomantis, 259;
L. carbonaria, 344
Locusta, ovipositor, development and structure, 315;
L. viridissima, 318, 319, 321, 324, 327
Locustidae, 201, 311-329, 328
Locustides, 329
Locusts, 291 f.;
of the Bible, 298;
in England, 299;
swarms, 292-299;
eggs, 292
Loew on anatomy of Panorpa, 450;
of Raphidia, 448
Lonchodes duivenbodi, egg, 265;
L. nematodes, 260, 261
Lonchodides, 277
Longevity, 377, 429, 438;
of cockroach, 229
Lopaphus cocophagus, 264
Lophyrus pini, 511
Löw on Coniopteryx, 471, 472
Löw, F., on snow Insects, 194
Lowne, on embryonic segments, 151;
on integument, 162;
on stigmata, 111;
on respiration, 130
Lubbock, Sir John, on Pauropus, 62;
on aquatic Hymenoptera, 538;
on auditory organs, 121;
on sense organs, 123;
 on respiration, 130;
on stadia, 165;
on Cloëon, 432, 437;
on Collembola, 192;
on Insect intelligence, 487
Lucas on mouth-parts of Trichoptera, 475
Luminous may-flies, 412
Lycaenidae, eggs, 144
Lyonnet on muscles, 115
Lysiopetalidae, 76

Machilidae, 184
Machilis maritima, 185;
M. polypoda, 184
Macronema, 478
Malacopoda, 77
Mallophaga, 342, 345-350
Malpighi on galls, 525
Malpighian tubes, 114, 124, 127, 187, 353, 360, 392, 403, 414,
421, 448, 457, 458;
of Gryllotalpa, 335;
of Ephippigera, 335;
of Mantis, 246;
of Myriapods, 48
Malta, Myriapods at, 35
Mandibles, 94, 95;
absent, 474, 475
Mandibulata, 94
Manticora, 304
Mantidae, 201, 242-259, 259
Mantides, 259
Mantis, immature tegmina, 248;
parasite, 546;
M. religiosa, 246, 247, 258
Mantispa areolaris, 463;
M. styriaca larva, 464
Mantispides, 463 f.
Mantoida luteola, 251
Marchal on Malpighian tubes, 127
Marine Myriapods, 30
Marshall, on Apanteles cocoons, 560;
on Braconidae, 561
Mask, 420
Mastacides, 301, 309
Mastax guttatus, 301
Maternal care, 214, 336, 517
Maxilla, 95, 96;
of Odonata, 411;
absent, 190
May-flies, 429;
number of, 442
Mayer, on Apterygogenea, 196;
on caprification, 547, 548
Mazon Creek, Myriapods at, 75
M‘Coy on variation of ocelli, 267
M‘Lachlan, on Ascalaphides, 459;
on Oligotoma, 354;
on Psocidae, 395;
on Trichoptera, 480 f.
Mecaptera, 174, 453
Mechanism of flight, 416
Mecistogaster, 412
Meconema varium, 321
Meconemides, 328
Mecopoda, 319
Mecopodides, 328
Mecostethus grossus, 285, 299, 308
Median plate, 504, 506, 507, 512
Median segment, 109, 490, 491
Megachile, nervous system, 496
Megaloblatta rufipes, 235
Megalomus hirtus, 468
Megalyra, 562
Megalyridae, 562
Meganeura monyi, 428
Megasecopterides, 344
Megastigmus, 547
Meinert, on earwigs, 210, 211, 212;
on Myrmeleon larva, 457;
on stink-glands, 210
Melittobia, 545
Melliss on Termite of St. Helena, 389
Melnikow on eggs of Mallophaga, 348
Membranule, 413
Menognatha, 161
Menopon leucostomum, 348;
M. pallidum, 350
Menorhyncha, 161
Mentum, 95, 96, 96
Mesoblast, 20, 65, 149
Mesoderm, 20, 149
Mesonotum, 88
Mesopsocus unipunctatus, 394
Mesothoracic spiracle, 491
Mesothorax, 101
Mesozoic, 309, 449, 485
Metabola, 158, 174
Metagnatha, 161
Metamorphosis, 153-170;
of Hymenoptera, 497;
of nervous system, 495 f.
Metanotum, 88
Metapodeon, 491
Methone, 200;
M. anderssoni, 305, 306
Miall, on imaginal discs, 165, 167;
on unicellular glands, 142
Miall and Denny, on pericardial tissue, 135;
on epithelium of stomach, 126;
on spermatheca of cockroach, 228;
on stigmata, 111;
 on stomato-gastric nerves, 120
Miamia bronsoni, 449
Microcentrum retinerve, 313, 314, 320
Microgaster, 559;
M. fulvipes, 560;
M. globatus, 560
Micropterism, 339, 394, 405 f., 484
Micropyle, 145;
apparatus, 404
Migration, 293, 425
Migratory locusts, 292, 297
Millepieds, 41
Millipedes, 30, 40, 41
Miocene, 216, 258, 407
Molanna angustata, mandibles of pupa, 477
Mole-cricket, 333;
leg, 333
Moniez on Anurida maritima, 194
Monodontomerus, 532;
M. cupreus, 543;
M. nitidus, 544
Monomachus, 563
Monomorphic ant, 498
Monotrochous trochanters, 494, 520, 564, 565
Mordella eye, 98
Mormolucoides articulatus, 449
Morton, on gills of Trichoptera, 483;
on Perlidae, 406
Moult, 156
Moulting, 437;
of external parasite, 556
Mouth-parts, of dragon-fly, 411;
of dragon-fly nymph, 420;
atrophied, 430
Müller, Fritz, on caddis-flies, 482 f.;
on fig-Insects, 549;
on Termites, 358, 360, 374, 381, 382
Müller, J., on anatomy of Phasmidae, 262
Murray, on Phyllium scythe, 263; on
post-embryonic development of Orthoptera, 265
Musca, metamorphosis, 163, 167
Muscles, 115
Music, of Locusta, 318;
of Tananá, 319;
of Katydids, 319
—see also Phonation
Mylacridae, 239
Mymarides, 537, 538
Myoblast, 149
Myriapoda, 27, 42, 74;
definition, 29;
as food, 31;
habits, distribution, and breeding, 29-40;
locomotion, 40;
names for, 41;
classification, 42-47;
structure, 47-63;
embryology, 63-72;
fossil, 72-77;
affinities, 78
Myrmecoleon, 456
Myrmecophana fallax, 323
Myrmecophilides, 340
Myrmeleo, 456
Myrmeleon, 456;
M. europaeus, 457;
M. formicarius, 455, 457;
M. nostras, 457;
M. pallidipennis, 456
Myrmeleonides, 454 f.

Nasuti, 370
Necrophilus arenarius, 462
Necroscides, 278
Needham on locusts at sea, 297
Nematus, 514;
N. curtispina, 498
Nemobius sylvestris, 339
Nemoptera ledereri, 462;
N. larva, 462
Nemopterides, 462
Nemoura, 401;
N. glacialis, 405
Neoteinic Termites, 362, 380
Nervous system, 116
Nervures, 107, 108, 206;
of Psocidae, 393;
of Embiidae, 352;
of Termitidae, 359
Neuroptera, 172, 341-485;
N. amphibiotica, 342;
N. planipennia, 342
Neuropteroidea, 486
Neuroterus lenticularis, 523
Neuters, 137
Newman on abdomen, 491
Newport on Anthophorabia, 545;
on Monodontomerus, 544;
on Paniscus, 555;
on Pteronarcys, 399 f.;
on turnip sawfly, 515
Nicolet on Smynthuridae, 191
Nietner on Psocidae, 395
Nirmus, 346 f.
Nitzsch, on Mallophaga, 346 f.;
on Psocidae, 392
Nocticola simoni, 232
Nodes, 493
Nodus, 413
Nomadina, 565
Notophilidae, 45
Notophilus, 45
Notum, 91, 100
Number of species, of Insects, 83, 171, 178;
of Cephidae, 506;
of Chalcididae, 539;
of gall-flies, 533;
of Hymenoptera, 503;
of Parasitica, 520;
of Ichneumonidae, 551;
of Odonata, 424;
of Orthoptera, 201;
of earwigs, 215;
of cockroaches, 236;
of Mantidae, 258;
of Phasmidae, 272;
of migratory locusts, 297;
of Perlidae, 407;
of Psocidae, 395;
of sawflies, 518
Nurseries of Termites, 387
Nusbaum on embryology, 149, 152
Nyctiborides, 240
Nymph, 157;
of dragon-fly, 418, 419, 420, 422, 426;
of Ephemeridae, 432 f., 432, 433, 434, 435, 436
Nymphidina, 465, 472
Nyssonides, 565

Oak-galls, 527
Occiput, 94
Ocelli, 97, 282, 313, 400, 409, 430;
variation in, 267, 536
Odonata, 409 f.
Odontocerum albicorne, case of, 480
Odontura serricauda, 316
Oecanthides, 340
Oecanthus, 339
Oecodoma—see Atta
Oedipodides, 304, 309
Oenocytes, 137
Oesophageal "bone," 391
Oesophageal nervous ring, 118, 121
Oesophagus, 114, 124, 403
Oestropsides, 482
Oligonephria, 175
Oligoneuria garumnica, nymph, 434
Oligotoma michaeli, 351, 354;
O. saundersi, 352;
O. insularis, 354
Ommatidium, 98
Oniscigaster wakefieldi, 442
Ontogeny, 153
Oolemm, 144
Oolitic, 239
Ootheca of Mantis, 246, 247
Ophionellus, 563
Ophionides, 557
Opisthocosmia cervipyga, 215
Orders, 172
Orientation, 112
Origin of wings, 206
Orl-fly, 445
Ormerod, Miss, on importation of locusts, 299
Ornament, 200, 215, 233 f., 243, 244, 282, 302, 313, 339
Orphania denticauda, 321
Orthodera ministralis, 249
Orthoderides, 251, 259
Orthophlebia, 453
Orthoptera, 172, 198-340, 407
Oryssidae, 506
Oryssus abietinus, 506;
O. sayi, 506
Osborn on Menopon, 350
Osmylides, 466
Osmylina, 466
Osmylus chrysops, 341;
larva, 466;
O. maculatus, 466
Osten Sacken on similar gall-flies, 532
Ostia, 48 f., 133, 435
Oudemans on Thysanura, 182
Oustalet on Odonata, 422, 423
Outer margin of wing, 108
Ovaries, 137, 138;
of earwigs, 211;
of Oedipoda, 283, 284;
of Perla, 404;
of Thysanura, 188
Oviduct, 139, 392
Oviposition, 229, 246, 265, 290, 291, 440;
of Agriotypus, 557;
of Cynipidae, 527 f., Adler on, 529;
of Encyrtus, 545;
of Ichneumon, 555;
of inquiline gall-flies, 532;
of Meconema, 321;
of Pelecinus, 564;
of Pimpla, 553;
of Podagrion, 546;
of sawflies, 513;
of Sirex, 509;
of Xiphidium, 321
Ovipositor, 110, 552, 554;
Cynipid, 524;
of Locusta, development, 314, 315
Owen, Ch., 40, 78
Oxyethira, 484;
O. costalis, larva, 485
Oxyhaloides, 234, 241
Oxyura, 533, 534
Pachycrepis, 550
Pachytylus cinerascens, 293, 297, 298, 299, 308;
P. marmoratus, 298;
P. migratorioides, 298;
P. migratorius, 298, 299, 308;
P. nigrofasciatus, 285, 298
Packard, on cave-Myriapods, 34;
on air sacs of locusts, 283, 294;
on classification, 173;
on development of Diplax, 419;
on may-flies, 430;
on metamorphosis of Bombus, 497;
on scales, 397;
on spiral fibre, 129
Pad, 105
Paedogenesis, 142
Pagenstecher on development of Mantis, 247
Palaeacrididae, 309
Palaeoblattariae, 239
Palaeoblattina douvillei, 238 f.
Palaeocampa, 73
Palaeodictyoptera, 486
Palaeomantidae, 259
Palaeontology, 178
Palaeophlebia superstes, 427
Palaeozoic, Myriapods, 76;
Insects, 343, 486
Palingenia bilineata, 430;
P. feistmantelii, 443;
P. papuana, 441;
P. virgo, 431
Palmén, on dragon-fly nymphs, 423;
on Ephemeridae inflation, 439;
on gills of Perlidae, 402;
on rectal gills, 422;
on tracheal system of immature Ephemeridae, 436
Palmon, 546