Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Bang Bang You Are Dead
Bang Bang You Are Dead
TIME: Now.
SET: Bare stage. A wooden box that serves as a jail bed, a coffin, a judge’s bench, a truck seat, a table,
etc.
PLACE: The play begins in a jail cell, then moves to various places—a court room, a woods, a school, a
home—and back to the jail cell again.
Josh
Grandpa
Shadow (male)
Mom Dad
(Michael држи светло под своето лице. Останатите го прават истото додека зборуваат).
JOSH Ти седеше до него. Така одат сите работи. Така се рони колачето
EMILY Живеевме на истата улица. Си правевме торти од кал кога бевме мали.
(Josh емитира куцање на тастатура)
JOSH- ESCAPE.
JOSH DELETE.
EMILY Кога имавме 11 години, ме оставаше да играм војна со тебе и сите машки, бидејки ти се
допаѓаше начинот на кој умирав.Се сеќаваш?
(Убиените импровизираат деца како си играат војна, Ги користат прстите како оружје и прават
звуци на пукање. Трчаат во мракот, нивните светла по подот, го бараат непријателот, светлата се
пресекуваат. Emily ги убива Katie и Matt кои паѓаат мртви. Michael пука во Jessie кој паѓа мртов.
Michael и Emily се убиваат исто времено. Michael drops dead at onceумира наеднаш. Emily умира
многу драматично).
EMILY Се надевам не те разочарав кога ме уби во кафетеријата ова утро, Josh. Се надевам умрев
на вистински начин, на начин кој ти се допаѓа тебе.
EMILY Целиот мој живот ме учеа да простувам. Ме учеа дека простувањето е за оној кој простува.
Но едноставно неможам. Не, се додека не знам што ти лежи во срцето, Josh.
JOSH Не ми треба твојата прошка. Не ми треба ништо и од никој. Имам се што сакав овде.Храна и
постела. Сето ова ќе се избрише од моето досие кога ќе наполнам 18 во секој случај. Можеби ќе
излезам од тука кога ке имам 21. После тоа, кога ќе одам по улица, луѓето ќе ме гледаат и ќе
шепотат, “Не се гибај со него.”
DECEASED НЕ Е ФЕР.
DECEASED НЕ Е ФЕР!
DECEASED НЕ Е ФЕР!
DECEASED НЕ Е ФЕР!.
DECEASED НЕ Е ФЕР!
JOSH Но сега си имате убаво топло место за живеење—и нетреба да плаќате кирија.
MICHAEL Ке те отвориме.
JOSH Со среќа.
MICHAEL Во лицето.
KATIE Сами.
MATT Во мрак.
JESSIE Во тишина.
JOSH Отвори!
JOSH Ве молам!
JOSH ВЕ МОЛАМ!
(Убиените ја вртат кутијата на страна, ја отвараат. Josh паѓа од неа, се тркала и извикува. Лежи на
подот преморен).
(JOSH вади безмислени звуци и зборови само за да создаде галама над нивните зборови).
MICHAEL Наведнат.
KATIE Скршен.
MATT Загорчен.
EMILY Безнадежен.
MICHAEL Обезпаметен.
KATIE Обездушен.
MATT Воопшто?
JOSH Лесно.
JOSH Aх, еден, два а после три, четири, пет, шест, седум. Да, седум. Ме виде на вестите?
CON VOICE Сите ги имавме своите пет минути на вестите. Утре баш ќе видиме колку лош е
лошкото.
JOSH Доста.
EMILY Те полудуваат.
JOSH Несмеам да зборувам. Се што ќе кажам може да биде искористено против мене.
ОБВИНИТЕЛ Дами и господа од поротата: Седум трупови, мета на убиство. Што има за
размислување?
KATIE Јас дум Katie. Не ни бев гладна. Сакав да ја поминам паузата за ручек во библиотеката
бидејќи бев под стрес за тестот по биологија. Но Matt се грижеше повеќе од мене, и кога ја побара
мојата помош не можев да кажам не. Му објаснував за митохондрија, кога го видов Josh како
поминува облечен во војничко, како да доцни некаде. Добив чувство слично на она кога
ролеркостерот се искачува највисоко, и наеднаш те спушта.И повеќе не ја чувствуваш својата
тежина, губиш свест, стомакот го чувствуваш во градите,безпомошен си. Потоа видов дека има
пушка.
MATT Јас сум Matt. Не го ни знаев . Гледав како децата го малтретираа и исмејуваја. Го сожалував.
Никогаш не им возвраќаше. Знаете тоа како е. Еднаш штом ти се закачат, неможеш ништо да
сториш освен да страдаш, се додека не најдат некоја друга жртва. Искрено, мислев дека е шега
кога влезе внатре. Мислев дека ова е нешто за театарска претстава, некаква глупава реклама. И си
помислив, еј ова ќе биде лошо со директорот, пушката изгледа доста реалистична, не ми се
верува дека тоа е дозволено. А потоа ја нанишани во Michael, и куршум испука…
JESSIE Јас сум Jessie. Emily ми кажа дека Michael и Josh имале тепачка. Беше многу разочарана
бидејќи толку многу ги сакаше двата и не знаеше како да пронајде компромис меѓу нив. Па кога го
видов Josh како влегува, имаше насмевка која не беше навистина насмевка, но не знам, како
потсмев, закана, маска, оружје…Не знам што се обидувам да кажам но едниствено знаев дека
треба да трчам иако нозете ми се скаменија и само останав таму и знаев дека треба да се молам
но тогаш ги заборавив и зборовите и се што можев да видам беше таа насмевка, и го чекав мигот
кога куршумот ке го раскине моето тело.
EMILY Јас сум Emily. Пушката ја нанишани на мене и го извика моето име. Сакаше да го задржи
погледот на мене. Не знам зошто но се сетив на 5то одделение кога пронајдов кутија со чоколада
под мојата клупа со анонимна порака за св Валентајн, и знаев дека е Josh бидејќи имаше
позајмено пари од мене пред два дена, истата сума но негирал се до денес, бевме повеќе како
брат и сестраПочувствував тага која се истури врз мене како цименто. Оној што ми даде чоколадо
сега држеше пушка пред мојот нос и ме праша што се случиКако стигнавме до овде? Не сакав да
верувам. Но не беше тој зад тие очи. Нешто друго го обзеде. И одкако паднав, и пред да ги
затворам очите засекогаш, го здогледав нај чудниот израз на неговото лице.
KATIE Сеќавања.
JOSH Пфф! Кажи ми еден факт за тој ден. Еден факт. Еден.
MICHAEL Само ти и твојот дедо пристигнавте на планината со неговиот стар црвен камион со
скршена хауба и некомотно седиште од кое излегуваше федер.Доволно ли се факти Josh?
JOSH Добро, камионот го видовте некаде. Сега кажете ми едно нешто што дедоми рекол. АХА,
неможете. Неможете да ми кажите ни едно нешто.
ДЕДОТО Почитувај ги животните. Не пукај освен кога знаеш дека мораш. Направи го брзо. Не
сакаш животното да страда. Биди безбеден до мигот кога си подготвен да пукаш.
JESSIE Стапалата.
MATT Не се поместуваш.
JOSH Срна!
MICHAEL Прекрасна.
KATIE Преубава.
MATT Силна.
JESSIE Горда.
EMILY Возбудена.
MATT Паничиш!
MICHAEL Нишаниш.
DECEASED ПАУ!
DECEASED ПАУ!
MATT Вториот пат промашуваш.
DECEASED ПАУ!
DECEASED ПАУ!
JOSH Проклетство!
JESSIE Те погледнува.
DECEASED ПАУ!
KATIE ПОлека.
MATT Полека.
EMILY Мртва.
KATIE Убавата--
MATT Магичната--
JESSIE Горда--
MATT Голем.
EMILY Огромен.
MICHAEL Гигантски.
JOSH Не сум сеуште готов со него. И сега, слушај, дедо ми вози по еден стар пат..
(DIRECTOR’S NOTE: VOICES 1-4 се смеат во позадина на различен начин: #1 is bemused laughter, #2
is mocking laughter, #3 vicious mocking laughter. At this moment VOICES 1-4 LAUGH #1).
EMILY На кој друг начин би станал тпрлив и би научил како да се однесуваш со дете?
JOSH Не е вистинско.
EMILY Имаш среќа, бидејки тоа би се сметало за насилство врз дете, и би те уапсиле. Да видам
што се запиша.
JOSH Паа, aх, всушност се ми е само во главата, Ems. Само треба да седнам и да го напишам по
сеќавање.
EMILY Но мислиш дека ножиш да ги запаметиш сите детали од нашата грижа за бебето во
последната недела.
JOSH Очекував голем бран на инспирација да дојде до мене но не дојде. Зарем јас сум виновен?
EMILY Посакувам да можев да одкажам и да започнам од почеток. Знаев дека е грешка да имам
дете со тебе.
(Влегува MICHAEL)
JOSH Hey.
MICHAEL Oh.
EMILY Не оценуваат заеднички, занеш, имаме дете заедно. Треба да напишиме 14 страни во
дневникот
MICHAEL Josh the големиот ловец имаше време да лови но не и да изврши школска обврска.
JOSH Сликата.
(ГЛАСОВИ СЕ СМЕАТ # 3. JOSH се фрла на MICHAEL, го турка MICHAEL на назад, а потоа MICHAEL го
турка JOSH на земја. JOSH станува и се фрла на MICHAEL повторно. EMILY го задржува JOSH.).
(VOICES LAUGH # 3)
(VOICES go “WHOA!”)
(VOICES LAUGH # 3)
(EXIT MICHAEL)
EMILY Што?
JOSH Не е важно.
EMILY Мене ми е важмо. Кажи ми.
(VOICES LAUGH, # 3)
(VOICES LAUGH # 3. Josh пишува во дневникот. Се обидува да ги игнорира. Како сенка влегува
некој со црна дуксерка и скриено лице и стои зад него).
JOSH Не разбирам.
SHADOW Јас сум сенката која излезе од тебе тој ден, сенка која беше скриена во тебе од
предходно, онаа на различниот ти.
SHADOW Јас сум оној ти кога показалецот од раката ти танцува над чкрапалото,ти кога
преминуваш од пиштол кон пушка па фрлач на пламен.Јас сум тоа чувство на величенственост.
SHADOW Огромен.
JOSH Гигантски.
JOSH Whoa.
JOSH Okay.
JOSH Како?
SHADOW Let’s give ‘em something to think about.
JOSH Be specific.
SHADOW I see an empty classroom. I see a blackboard crying out for a dire message that shuts them up.
(Josh uses the fourth wall as a blackboard, mimes writing on it with a piece of chalk. SHADOW speaks
the words as JOSH writes them)
SHADOW "Everybody...in...this...class...is...dead...meat.”
(A CROWD assembles and reacts to the words on the blackboard. Improvise. The crowd is comprised of
the Voices, the Deceased and perhaps others. The Principle ENTERS to have a look. S/He takes a
snapshot of the words on the blackboard).
PRINCIPAL Okay, people, Health Class is cancelled for today. This room is now a crime scene. If anyone
knows anything about the blackboard phantom, it will be kept strictly confidential. Go to the library and
study quietly. Move those feet. Let’s go!
(The crowd fragments into different directions and suddenly we are back in the courtroom.)
JOSH Wow, you spoke up. I thought you died with your eyes open.
JUDGE Overruled. Emily knew him best. While her feelings are not factual, they may be relevant. I want
to allow this.
PROSECUTOR Why did you think Josh was the blackboard phantom?
(Suddenly we are back in the past again. JOSH sits writing in a notebook. ENTER EMILY. JOSH rips a few
pages out of his notebook).
(SHADOW ENTERS, sits between JOSH and EMILY and blows up a balloon).
JOSH No idea. But he must be somebody whose switch got flicked once too often.
JOSH Just what I said. People flick your switch, you gotta stop it.
EMILY But Josh, this blackboard phantom has to realize how frightened we all feel now. Education
stops. That’s not right.
JOSH Well, those frightened people need to realize how frightening it is to be pushed around like the
school joke. Life stops. I feel empty. Like a balloon. All puffed up. Big enough for everyone to see. But
empty. So empty. A balloon in a world where everybody else is pointed, sharp, jagged. Just a word is a
needle. A look is broken glass. A laugh—oh, especially a laugh—is a razor. I go pop.
(SHADOW pops the balloon with a sharp object and then holds the limp and ragged remnant of the
balloon in the air). MICHAEL So you make your face a mask.
JOSH Thanks.
PRINCIPAL I was hoping you’d come to your senses and have something to say to me.
JOSH Nothing.
PRINCIPAL We know for a fact that you're the blackboard phantom, Josh.
JOSH Who?
PRINCIPAL You.
PRINCIPAL We compared the writing on the blackboard to your last English class essay. It’s a perfect
match. Do you have anything to say now?
PRINCIPAL Violence or even the threat of violence triggers our zero tolerance policy. I have no choice
but to expel you for the rest of the year. I will inform your parents that you will have to repeat the grade
unless you repeat all your courses in summer school.
(VOICES LAUGH # 3. EXIT PRINCIPAL. ENTER JOSH’S PARENTS). JOSH I won't go! I won't go!
JOSH Sit in hot class all day while other kids can do what they want? And study on summer nights?
(VOICES LAUGH # 3)
DAD Maybe you should've thought about that before you wrote on the blackboard.
Somebody calls you a name, it’s superglued to your forehead. Forever. I had to shut them up. Why can’t
you see that?
JOSH It wasn’t for real, Dad. It was just SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
DAD If you wrote SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE on the blackboard you wouldn’t be in trouble now,
would you? The school can’t take a chance. You did something wrong so take your punishment like a
man.
(VOICES LAUGH # 3)
MOM What your father means is you can’t help what others think of you.
DAD And what your mother means is—you care too much about what others think of you. You are in
school to get an education, not to make friends. And you threw away an education for what? To blow off
a little steam. So grow up. Bite the bullet. Be a man.
MOM Josh, we will help you through this. Step by step we will be there fore you. The first step is an
appointment with a psychotherapist tomorrow morning.
MOM Neither one of us can take off from work. So here’s the address. This will be one step closer to
getting you back on track, Josh.
(EXIT JOSH’S PARENTS. VOICES LAUGH # 3. JOSH and the VOICES have a contest, his words against their
laughter).
(VOICES LAUGH #3. They win. Josh mimes a rifle and shoots at VOICES. They drop dead only to jump up
and LAUGH again. He shoots them again with more ferocity. They all fall and lie dead. JOSH relaxes and
lies on his bed. VOICES jump up again and circle JOSH, pointing and laughing).
(VOICES LAUGH # 3 waddle in a circle like ducks going “Quack, quack, quack,” like ducks in a shooting
gallery. Once again JOSH drops them all one by one. Momentarily).
JOSH Friend? Where are you, friend?
JOSH But how? The voices are in my head now. How can I shut them up?
JOSH How?
SHADOW Boom.
SHADOW Punish them. Do it in the living room. Leave your brains on the wall for your parents to see.
Boom. No more pain.
SHADOW Know what’s dumb? Going back to that school. You know what they’re saying about you?
VOICE 2 While everybody's having fun in the sun, Josh is reading gobbledygook in a book!
SHADOW Always Josh the joke. Imagine you do summer school. Imagine the day you go back. Imagine
riding the bus. Imagine the looks. Imagine you walk the halls. Imagine the words.
VOICE 1 Loser!
JOSH Sometimes it hurts too much to be alive, but I'm afraid to be dead. I don’t want to be thinking
this.
JOSH Not even that? Not even that? They won’t even let me have that in peace?
JOSH They’ll still mock me even when I’m dead. (SHADOW bursts the balloon with a pin) WILL
SOMEBODY JUST PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY?
JOSH Whoa.
SHADOW They’ll write books about you. They’ll make movies about you.
DECEASED Kauhajoki.
SHADOW It's almost lunchtime. They will all be in the cafeteria soon. Scene of the crime.
JOSH Big.
JOSH Immense.
SHADOW Gigantic.
JOSH Colossal.
SHADOW Measureless.
SHADOW Need it. JOSH Gotta have it ever since I could hold a—
SHADOW 22.
JOSH 38.
SHADOW 45.
JOSH Touchdown.
SHADOW Take 'em all with you and put this town on the map.
(JOSH and SHADOW share a primal primal yell of joy, rebellion, and freedom. SHADOW helps JOSH on
with a camou t-shirt and hat, and they dance and yell until--)
JOSH No.
JOSH No.
JOSH No.
DAD Josh, what are you doing home? The therapist called and said you never showed.
JOSH NO!
51
SHADOW BAM!
(DAD drops).
SHADOW BAM!
(MOM drops)
SHADOW You.
JOSH No.
SHADOW Don’t think about it. Move, move, move or you will chicken out.
(The DECEASED and VOICES gather together in the cafeteria. Ad lib small talk. ENTER JOSH. Dead quiet.
JOSH aims at MICHAEL).
SHADOW Bam!
(Michael pulls a red scarf through a pin hole in this clothing representing blood and drops).
SHADOW Bam!
SHADOW Bam!
SHADOW Bam!
JOSH Emily…
(JOSH shoots EMILY who pulls a red scarf through a pinhole and drops).
SHADOW Reload!
(As Josh reloads, VOICES tackle him and bring him down).
JUDGE Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict?
(The jury assembles: the FOREMAN, the DECEASED, VOICES, MOM and DAD, =12).
JOSH Mom, do you have to sing that stupid song? Message received, okay? Yes, I remember you used to
sing me that when I couldn’t sleep? Thank you for the pain?
(DAD puts on a baseball glove and slams a baseball into the pocket repeatedly).
JOSH Do you have to do that, Dad? Message received, okay? Yes, I remember you taught me the
outfielders glove and I caught a high-fly in the Little League championship game and you carried me off
the field? You carried me! How did that stop? What happened? Why can't it be like that all the time?
You didn’t understand I was a joke at school and a joke at home. I wanted to kill you but I didn't want
you dead. How else could I tell you what's on my mind without you interrupting? Why's it so easy to talk
to you now?
JOSH I have reached a verdict too, Your Honor! There are put-down artists who will trash you just to be
noticed by other kids. There are kids who hurt so bad inside they need to make somebody else hurt.
There are kids who would do anything to see somebody trip, fall, cry, fail, just for laughs. And the
teachers don’t see. Nobody sees. Will there be a trial for them too? Answer me that! Will there be a trial
for them too?
FOREMAN Your Honor, we the jury sentence the defendant to life imprisonment without possibility.
JOSH Possibility of what?
MICHAEL Done—
KATIE Seen—
MATT Had—
JESSIE Known--
EMILY Loved—in your lifetime.
MICHAEL Now you'll never know all the happiness that might have been yours.
KATIE Through the bars of your cell you’ll see the Josh you might have been.
(The DECEASED pull away from Josh momentarily. They address the audience at this point.)
KATIE Know what I hate about being dead? You can't call up and order a pizza.
MICHAEL Pepperoni.
EMILY Garlic.
MICHAEL Cheeseburgers.
ALL Never.
(With background music. The tone is bittersweet--sad that it's gone, joyful in remembrance. Sometimes
they are oblivious of Josh, other times they direct the lines at him. At the director's discretion, cut one or
two of the following sections (5 or 10 lines) and let the Actors personalize things they now have that
they miss. Let each line begin with, "I miss--". Let none of the personalization court controversy or
interfere with plot, character, or tone).
JESSIE I miss when a guy gets that look in his eye! And you know he's gonna ask you out!
MICHAEL I miss when she answers before you even finish asking-
MATT I miss when you go in for the kiss and then it happens and it's much, much better than you
dreamed it would be.
EMILY I miss seeing Jody when she has that look on her face that she's got another stupid joke to tell
me.
MATT I miss how my dog jumps all over me and barks for a treat.
EMILY I miss when you take a new pair of jeans in the dressing room and put them on and they fit
perfect.
KATIE I miss soda fizz tickling my nose. MATT I miss loving someone.
EMILY I miss going to the mailbox and getting a letter that I didn't expect.
KATIE I miss when you start the school year and you open a book for the first time and the spine cracks.
MATT I miss going into the cafeteria and deciding who I want to sit with.
KATIE I miss giving my dog a bath and she shakes and gives me a shower.
JESSIE I miss mom's cooking wafting through the house and trying to guess what it is.
KATIE I miss going in a grocery store and being able to buy anything I want.
JESSIE I miss the end of a race when I'm out of breath and I feel so good about myself. EMILY I miss
screaming at the football games.
MICHAEL I miss the end of the day school bell, the feeling in the air when you can go home.
JESSIE I miss getting into a fight with my sister and acting like nothing happened five minutes later.
EMILY I miss making mom laugh so hard she can't hardly breathe.
MATT I miss, even at my age, not being able to sleep on Christmas Eve.
EMILY (TO DECEASED) I miss singing to the radio in front of the mirror.
EMILY I miss opening a door on a winter's day and feeling the cool rush of cold air on my face.
MICHAEL I miss hitting on girls. KATIE I miss jumping on the trampoline with six people at a time.
EMILY I miss the look in my brother's eye just before he pulls his newest wrestling move on me.
(Music fades out. JOSH interrupts.)
JOSH I never thought I was taking away all that. I killed all my possibilities too. I’ll never have anything
to look forward to. Never.
MICHAEL Never? What do you know about never? I'll never do all I wanted to do.
DECEASED Never.
DECEASED Never.
DECEASED Never.
DECEASED Never.
(At the director's discretion, cut one or two of the following sections (5 or 10 lines) and let the actors
improvise. Let the actors personalize those things they never had. Let each line begin with, "I'll never--".
Let none of it court controversy or interfere with plot, character, or tone).
(Music continues)
EMILY I'll never find the right person to spend my life with.
(Josh, on the outside, moves in, hoping for an invitation. They ignore him.)
JESSIE I'll never meet a beautiful, intelligent, caring fraternity boy who will look at me and see
perfection.
EMILY I'll never be married in a white dress and have a huge wedding.
MICHAEL I'll never make new friends.
JESSIE I'll never have long talks at a candle lit table in the corner of a little restaurant.
MICHAEL I'll never know what it is to come home from work and open the door and all my kids run to
me and pull me down on the floor and smother me with hugs and kisses.
KATIE I'll never find out if the psychic was right--will I get what I want or sell used cars?
JESSIE I'll never have my beautiful frat boy hold my hand in the delivery room of the maternity ward
telling me to push, push, push while I tell him to SHUT UP.
JESSIE I'll never have three children who look just like my frat boy so that when I kiss them I'm kissing
him.
MICHAEL Or Tokyo.
JESSIE (Right to Josh) I'll never have an epitaph that reads "Beloved mother, grandmother, and wife.
Because I died at 17."
JOSH It was just a fantasy. Like a horror movie. A DVD. In my mind I thought I could just hit the BACK
BUTTON and bring you back to life! The movie’s over. There’s nothing I can do. It's over. Okay? It's over.
MICHAEL Over for us, Josh.
MATT Again-
DECEASED DEAD! (Katie drops dead) DEAD! (Michael drops) DEAD! (Jessie drops) DEAD! (Matt
drops) DEAD! (Emily throws her arms around Josh and drops bringing him to the floor).
(ENTER SHADOW IN HIS HOODED SWEATSHIRT. SHADOW sits near JOSH back to audience as LIGHTS
FADE TO DARKNESS)
END