Seminar

Lexical and Grammatical Aspects of Revising Translated Texts

THEORY
1. Redundancy as a revision challenge:
a) the use of plain English words (Clear English);
b) the leave out of unnecessary words (Clear English);
c) the choice of parts of speech;
d) modality.
2. Violation of syntactic norm as a revision challenge:
a) the use of verbal constructions;
b) the use of passive constructions;
c) the use of conditional constructions;
d) sentence fragmentation and sentence integration.
3. Read the Clear English instruction file and develop the set of similar rules for
Clear Ukrainian.

Bibliography
1) Бондаренко Т. О. Літературне редагування: Методичні матеріали для студентів.
Х.: ХНУ імені В. Н. Каразіна, 2003. 32 с.
2) Зарицький М. С. Переклад: створення та редагування: Посібник. К.:
Парламентське видавництво, 2004. 120 с.
3) Пономарів О. Д. Культура слова: Мовностилістичні поради: Навч. посібник. К.:
Либідь, 2001. 240 с.
4) Smith, B. Proofreading, revising, and editing skills: success in 20 minutes a day. 1st
ed. New York: LearningExpress. 2003.

PRACTICE
Task 1. Edit the sentences paying attention to the incorrect forms of participles.

1. До цього типу настановно-оцінної інформації може додаватися ще один –

ідеологізуючий. 2. Громадський порядок, пануючий в країні, може накласти
відбиток на текст. 3. В ході історії комунікації людина виробила мовні засоби,
сприяючі мобілізації контакту. 4. В Сорбонській школі перекладу поступаючим
пропонують почати монолог на якусь тему іноземною мовою. 5. Відлагоджена і
реабілітовуюча себе система навчання усного перекладу. 6. Ефект стилістичної
невідповідності ( перехідний в комічний) викличуть формули високого стилю. 7.
Проповідь будується на двох когнітивних пунктах, об’єднуючих джерело
(священик) і реципієнт (віряни). 8. Знаки, які уявляються у свідомості тих, що
говорять, як відозміни одного і того ж значення. 9. Особові займенники однини із
значенням суб’єкту зустрічаються виключно рідко, інколи автор-суб’єкт виявляє
себе у ритуальній формі об’єктивірованого “ми”. 10. Виразна номінативність
тексту – суттєва перевага іменників вираження дії переважно не через дієслово, а
через віддієслівні іменники з десемантизированим дієсловом. 11. Інтерв’ю – це
публічний діалог, що складається з питань і відповідей про діяльність та особисте
життя інтерв’юіруємого. 12. Переклад зроблен. 13. Текст призначен для будь-
якого дорослого громадянина країни. 14. Текст присвячен персоналії.

Task 2. Correct Ukrainian prepositional phrases.

Порівняйте:
рос. укр.неправ.
— по рецепту врача — по рецепту лікаря
— по старым ценам — по старих цінах
— все по порядку — все по порядку
— по той причине — по тій причині
— по вопросам — по питанням
— по собственной воле — по власній волі
— по выходным — по вихідних
— предложения по улучшению работы — пропозиції по поліпшенню роботи
— по уважительной причине — по поважнійпричині
— по невнимательности — по неуважності
— по левой стороне — по ліву сторону
— по крайней мере — по крайній мipi
— по любому поводу — по всякому поводу
— назвать по имени и по отчеству — назвати по імені i по батькові
— по сегодняшний день — по нинішній день
— определить по результатам — визначити по результатам
— отпуск по болезни — відпустка по хворобі
— пенсия по возрасту — пенсія по віку
— занятия по анатомии — заняття по анатомії

Task 3. Mark the position of the missing word and write the word itself.
KEEP AWAY OR ELSE
Task 4. Translate paragraphs of the article and be ready to present your translation to
the audience as well as comment on your colleagues’ translations of the same passage.

Polyglot Europe
Johnson: Managing Babel
Sep 10th 2013, 9:23 by R.L.G. | KRYNICA
IS POLITICAL unity possible without a common language? Of course it is.
Switzerland (four official languages), South Africa (11) and India (22 “scheduled”
languages) are just a few examples. On the other hand, many of the world’s countries
were born out of waves of nationalism, and built around the idea of one state for one
“nation”. The nations in question were often those that spoke the same language.
Nowhere is this truer than in Europe. Here, waves of independence (the biggest
being after the first world war and after the cold war) mostly produced states based
around one nation with a single language. Multi-national states like Austria-Hungary,
Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia and the Soviet Union fell apart. And in the older states, like
Spain and France, linguistic minorities have long-standing and legitimate gripes.
All this should be mitigated by the European Union. Its 28 members give the
union 23 official languages (Croatian is the newest). Official documents are translated
(at no small expense) into all 23, and speakers at the European Parliament may speak in
any of the official languages, with simultaneous interpretation. At some forums—like
within the European Commission—English, French and German serve as informal
working languages. The management of all this is even more impressive when you
consider the diversity in question. Among the 23 languages are members of the
Romance, Germanic, Slavic, Finno-Ugric, Baltic, Celtic and even Semitic families.
(Maltese is a dialect of Arabic.) The languages use three different scripts, as seen on the
new five-euro banknote (with “euro” in Latin, Greek and Cyrillic letters).
This lavish multilingualism was on Johnson’s mind at a conference last week in
Krynica, just inside Poland near the border with Slovakia. The annual gathering (billed
as “the Davos of the east”) is a kind of showcase for today’s Europe. The conference,
though heavily Polish in attendance, is officially trilingual (English and Russian
materials are available everywhere), and even more multilingual in its attendees. A
typical panel featured two Hungarians, one Pole, one Czech, one German and one
American. On that panel, everyone spoke English. At others, Polish was the dominant
language, but headsets were available for translation to and from Polish at any time.
This kind of meeting—and its accommodations for language—are just the kind of
thing a multinational and multilingual Europe needs. Yet it remains obvious that
language is a huge reason it has been so hard to create a true European identity. In
Krynica, many panelists making their bravest effort in English were hard to understand
in echoey rooms. When speakers spoke Polish or Russian, the ubiquitous interpreters
did their best, but often struggled with technical terms, jokes or cultural references.
Even with the best of interpretation, it is a drag to be several seconds behind the original
speaker, with nearly all the vigour of the original language lost. No matter how
interesting the content, the mind can wander when it is hard to pay attention.
This is unfortunate. Human beings tend to believe memorable and clear
messages, even if those messages are stupid or wrong. We also tend to identify tribally
with those who are more like us, and language is one of the most obvious tribal
markers. This matters in connection to the euro-zone crisis, much discussed in Krynica.
How long Germans and other strong economies will continue paying for the weakness
in peripheral economies is an open, and serious, question. Yet (western) Germans have
been paying a “solidarity contribution” to build up the former East Germany for more
than two decades. The reasons for the discrepancy are obvious: even Germans from
across the country, born and raised in a different state, are fellow Germans.
The various solutions to Europe’s Babel all have their drawbacks. Reducing the
number of official EU languages to three or so is a political non-starter. The spread of
English as an informal official language is convenient, but annoys (formerly privileged)
Francophones, and not only them. Technology is making cross-linguistic
communication much easier, but even with all of the recent strides in machine
translation, quality is still choppy, and remains impossible for the kind of spontaneous
conversations that start friendships.
Europe’s best bet is an old-fashioned one. It is multilingualism—and not just
bilingualism. EU institutions should do still more to make sure European children learn
early and fluently not just English, but another European language. (This goes for the
British, too.) This would calm fears of English domination, and give real heft to the
European idea of unity in diversity. This is expensive, and every class-hour given to
language is one taken from another subject. But the alternative would be more
expensive: a Europe that falls apart because its citizens simply don’t see what they have
in common.